#sorry this is kinda a vent post

[vividrogue]

I long to have the sun kiss my chest

I yearn for it, so much so that it feels like life and death

The delays put forth by insurance companies is absolute chicanery. It feels as if everytime I take a step forward, I take 3 steps back, I have never felt so fucking hopeless. It's not like it's an all together rejection, I'm just in this fucking state of Limbo until they can make up their minds and it feels like I'm screaming out of pain and no one is listening.

I hate waiting for the insurance teams to decide whether I live or die.

Until then, I will continue to long for the sun

[sscrambledmeggss]

I really really hate myself sometimes lol

[chatlote]

Not a moment of rest.

[honeysucklethornsandalligtrhorns]

my head hurts and my throat is itchy and i wanna cry cause i think i’m losin my tsp hyperfix and it’s too bright in here and my phone is at 10% and i just saw the new guardians of the galaxy movie but it made me cry and also i think i made a fool of myself in front of my crush today we are NOT DOING GOOD FOLKS

[nagitosstolenhand]

i don't like the growing opinion that people are being 'too hard' on deku for his failing to save shigaraki.

i've seen quite a few people complaining that a lot of the bnha-critical crowd are being too mean to deku for getting tomura killed, arguing that it isn't really his fault, and that hes a 16 year old child soldier who's been failed by almost every adult in his life, why should we be putting all of this on his shoulders? hes just a kid after all?

and the truth is, they're right. deku IS a 16 year old boy whos had the fate of the world thrust on his shoulders. but the story itself just plainly refuses to acknowledge this.

the narrative doesn't acknowledge how fucked up having a school that trains literal children how to be combo cop-celebrities is. it only tentatively acknowledges the fact that a universe having combo cop-celebrities is fucked up, and even then the only people who ever point this out are antagonists, who are portrayed and treated in-universe as untrustworthy. the narrative doesn't care how fucked up dekus circumstances are. the narrative treats deku like hes a fucking messiah here to touch the hearts of the evil depressed villains with his magical empathetic heart of gold before they get blown up or just sent to fucking superhell for daring to challenge the status quote.

deku isn't a person. he's barely even a fucking character at this point. he's a plot device, and a mouth piece for the objectively shitty themes bnha is trying to spout. the themes that tell you that if you're mistreated by society and want to do something about it, you're a villain. that disrupting the status quote and refusing to repent to some random teenage boy spouting empty platitudes at you means you deserve to get sent to fucking superhell. the themes that portray people fighting for civil change as mass murdering supervillains. the themes that look the audience dead in the eye and can call deku the greatest hero to ever live.

deku, who barely spared a second thought to lady nagant telling him the truth about the hero commission. who spouts meaningless platitudes about heroism and morality at nagant, and aoyama, and toga and shigaraki, when even the thought that he should question the world around him comes up. who's constantly talked about as this truly kind, empathetic person, but hasn't spared an empathetic thought to literally anyone who is classified as a villain. who listened to every authority figure around him except the ones who asked him to question his worldview. who saw la bravas tears, shigarakis various breakdowns, himikos plead for understanding, chisakis catatonic state, lady nagants truth, and barley batted a fucking eye. deku, who killed tomura shigaraki.

people don't criticize deku for failing shigaraki because they just hate deku. people criticize deku because of what he represents. because hes a mouthpiece for the atrocious morals and themes of this ideologically rotten manga. because any character he had was chopped up to bits in favor of the incomplete husk we have now. people criticize deku because hes the main character of my hero academia. theres nothing more damning then that.

[lustlesson]

sitting in the middle of the night, crying with blade in your hand, wondering if you should do that or not.

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Sometimes a day makes you want a Starscream to bite and squeeze

[cautiouslyyyoptimistic]

always a lil perplexed when I hear people say they wanted Luo Binghe to get more character development or smth before he's allowed to be with Shen Qingqiu. Have you... considered... that neither Luo Binghe OR Shen Qingqiu want that??? Luo Binghe had to spend 5 years alone and tending to his corpse, then there was the mess at the holy mausoleum, and the nightmare that was maigu ridge, how much more waiting and "character development" does he have to endure to deserve his happy ending? How long does Shen Qingqiu have to wait? The goddawful story and forced system plots are over, the facilitators of character development are laid to rest and now the power of the narrative is in bingqiu's hands. I thought the thesis of bingqiu is that people don't have to learn and be made from suffering to deserve nice things? let bingqiu be happy and rest please!!

[mossy-aro]

ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.

when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!

that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.

but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!

joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.

and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.

tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.

[angelpuns]

Just another day wishing I didn't live with my parents but having to because I can barely take care of myself

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

The fans: Ugh Sonic was just so preachy. I mean obviously he's supposed to be the good guy, so any uncomfortableness I feel here and any way I feel like Sonic's choices are framed as being why some other people have shitty lives is just bad writing because he is obviously supposed to be right always, but this characterization makes no sense. Isn't he right for the things he did?

Ian Flynn, using Kitsunami to say the (barely even at this point) quiet part even louder: Hey it's almost like ever since the Mr. Tinker event we've been purposely running with the critique of Sonic as being more selfish than he appears. Sonic is upholding a system of Eggman v Sonic that currently benefits him and shuts down talk of how to improve the current system because he likes his own personal enjoyment and he's attached enough to Eggman that he'd rather Eggman pretend to be a good person than be stuck in prison for life. He doesn't even quite practice what he preaches. We are trying to show that the current hero v villain system and Sonic's recklessness currently affects some people poorly and that Sonic isn't a perfect hero.

[petitprincess1]

Critics/Antis: Lmao! You guys literally have Vivzie in your head 24/7! Like it's so embarrassing!

Fans: ...It might seem crazy what I'm about to say

[teaboot]

It's four in the morning and nobody asked but I think that one of the things I hate most about getting older is looking back and knowing which of the chubby-cheeked, gap-toothed little kids who collected Pokémon cards and played grounders and scraped their knees on the playground were destined for gaunt faces and blackened fingers, wearing mismatched shoes and screaming slurs at passersby from the sidewalk.

I know which of those children don't make it, now, and whose futures don't reach as far as they think, but I don't know which ones will get better, and I worry for the rest

What could have been done to help, if we'd known back then?

About the kid who gets hit by a car at 16?

About the one who's on meth at 25?

The one who killed herself a few months before graduation?

Horse girls and class clowns and little boys who dressed up as power rangers for Halloween.

Man, what the hell happened?

[natsmagi]

honestly the more i hear about engstars and its TLs the more i absolutely dread the inevitable release of poltergeist and what may ensue from it, bc if if the translators themselves are already invalidating arashis identity then i Really Truly do not want to see how theyll translate natsume and tsumugis microaggressions/transphobia towards her. esp since ive noticed a rise in people being comfortably transphobic towards her, and i REALLY do not wish to see natsume and tsumugi being stupid fucking morons be used as evidence to discredit her

and i think this is all the more reason why its VERY IMPORTANT for engstars to DIRECTLY ACKNOWLEDGE arashi and her gender. bc sometimes characters are STUPID and RUDE and APATHETIC. enstars is a story with NUANCED and FLAWED CHARACTERS, and when a character is being a fucking asshole youre meant to PROVE THEM WRONG. but they dont even acknowledge arashi as a girl themselves. so, if you do use engstars, please keep pressuring them bc omfg this is so bad and i can only see it getting worse

[zuzu-romeave]

i know people are mostly joking when they insinuate that troy is too possessive or jealous to have a polyamorous relationship with abed but like that idea annoys me so much. when troy and abed both agree to take mariah the librarian on a date, troy is entirely okay with it UNTIL mariah chooses him over abed and then later calls abed weird. after that he tells abed “there’s someone out there for us.” he just wants someone who also wants abed, and that doesnt mean he wont get jealous over it. you can be polyam and still struggle with jealousy, which is the situation that troy’s in

[kil-myself]