#im just very tired

[doun-katsu]

Sorrta wanna die

[faraway-monsters]

Ah, a wholesome moment. Certainly nothing bad will come of this.

Oh No.

[humancork]

going out with friends is so fun until you remember that you cant just teleport into your room and conk out for a few hours and reappear in that moment. you have to keep talking and acting like a normal person. not that i know how to do that but

[vividrogue]

I long to have the sun kiss my chest

I yearn for it, so much so that it feels like life and death

The delays put forth by insurance companies is absolute chicanery. It feels as if everytime I take a step forward, I take 3 steps back, I have never felt so fucking hopeless. It's not like it's an all together rejection, I'm just in this fucking state of Limbo until they can make up their minds and it feels like I'm screaming out of pain and no one is listening.

I hate waiting for the insurance teams to decide whether I live or die.

Until then, I will continue to long for the sun

[unfortunate--moth]

alright gang i wasnt able to finish this one shot today but i definitely will be able to tomorrow

[cookiepie111]

I need money and a job

[monzterzack]

i dont have many places to vent now, as i have committed the mistake of trying to be profitable with my art, so ill vent here

getting the autism diagnosis helped me a lot, because now im aware that a lot of my missery and struggles come from it

however it did jack shit to help with the empty hole in my chest of feeling like a weirdo that is going to die alone

it also didnt help me to communicate to my irl relationships that i do need accommodations, and i do struggle a lot

they just took it as if i was an inspirational story, because even when having autism im still doing what normal people do, when im killing myself over here trying to fulfill all the responsibilities that they find easy to do

i dont want to say it, but im constantly on the brink of financial collapse, im always in pain and overstimulated/understimulated, trying to find a way to trick my brain into doing what i want it to do

they still see my binge eating as a personal failure, instead of a natural soothing mechanism that has gone wild because im too stressed to deal with stuff

and i sorta get it, i truly do, pretending like everything i do is correct just because im disabled is not helpful either, but i would really like it if instead of “being real” with me all the time, they would at least try and ease out my stress a bit

i dont know

i stopped taking my meds again, they just kill all my creative drive and im miserable when i cant draw or write

i still feel like no one gets me, and i get frustrated because im turning bitter from having to overexplain myself constantly

im still playing savior in my house, im still taking more than i can bite, and its settling that i will probably never leave this place

im glad that now i know its not just me being “bad at being a human”, i just wish it helped me get more kindness and help

i dont want to be one of those “autism is my only personality trait” people, but everyday i realize more and more how a lot of what i do is indeed because of the autism, i just wish someone gave me a manual on how to work with it

im not capable of getting a regular job, and its scaring me a lot for the future as there isnt any social security service that could help me here

im just sharing not to ask for sympathy or solutions, but because i dont have anywhere else to vent without it sounding like im looking for excuses

im drowning and then swimming up for a second, then drowning again, im so tired

[psychic-waffles]

Health vent tangent from last reblog

I think my favourite health Situation™ since my body pulled it's latest bullshit is when I told the specialist I'd waited over a year to see that I had proof of having Symptoms Disease. It more or less went as follows:

Me: here is a literal medical test I had done privately that pretty much proves outright I have Symptoms Disease. And if I do have Symptoms Disease there's a very straightforward treatment plan.

Doctor, not listening to a word I'm saying: that doesn't sound right

Me: ...I mean do you want to order your own very common and extremely straightforward test to double check?

Doctor: no :)

Me: ...

Doctor: see you again next year if you still feel bad, we might do some tests then

[nunchucksnun]

Don't mind if you publish this or not, just wanted to let you know that in this day and age where the established anti/pro rule of thumb is to very clearly block and move on when someone makes content you don't like, they come off as the seriously deranged one, not you.

No one in their right mind makes callout posts and two separate accounts over this kind of thing (and if you decide to publish this: speaking to the OP, yes, I know you are very likely stalking nunchucksnun's accounts, and that everyone else can very clearly tell that the accounts have been made by the same person because of the similarities in the poor grammar and quite frankly idiotic arguments to cancel someone over making very gated content that is not accessible to minors and only to people who are there by choice.)

By making the callout posts, and having a call to action that involves "telling everyone you know in the MadCom community," it exposes more people and minors to content they may not want to see, which makes no sense if they're genuinely trying to "protect" the community in good faith.

Which, of course, they're not.

Whoever's doing this has seriously got it out for you and waited however long it was until you unprivated to do this, and that's not the mark of someone who has it together. I wouldn't worry about this too much either way, because it's going to gain traction amongst the same type of people who you don't want around your content and/or are minors themselves who haven't developed enough of a prefrontal cortex yet to make rational decisions.

Tl;dr: I just wanted to drop a line to let you know that I'm sorry that you're going through this, and I'm confident it's going to die down. If not, the community should very quickly realize whoever's behind the callouts is doing this out of a personal vendetta and not for any legitimate reason.

Hey, thank you for your support and taking the time to write this to me.

[oleander-teacup]

ok here we go

hi autoimmune disorder tumblr, i think i should maybe be looking into talking to someone about these symptoms but idk if its me overreacting or not? anyway

- gets repeated infections (skin infections (i pick at my skin and usually have 3 or so at a time), pneumonia, LOTS OF PNEUMONIA)

- chronic fatigue, getting up makes me need a nap later, if i dont have 11 or more hours of sleep in a day im exhausted

- extreeeeme brain fog

- bad GI issues

- nausea from moving unless ive taken zofran and then its just lessened and manageable

- clothes moving on skin hurts when ill (my main tell for when im sick vs just very fatigued)

- chest will get very cold for periods of 30 minutes or so, during these episodes i will be very nauseated and unable to find the energy to do anything, afterwards i mostly sleep

- bodily tremors and tics i cant always control, especially when overtired. tremors will specifically be centered in my abdomen and i will be very sore when they are through

- history of anxiety and depression

i know this is sort of a big jumble of potential symptoms and bodily problems, but i have no idea whats wrong with me and im at my wits end trying to convince somebody to finally listen to me. i have an appointment with my GI specialist in 2 weeks and want to be able to coherently explain these symptoms as well as try to figure out whats wrong.

[beast-of-mosss]

Sorry if I've been ooc, there's only so much fake confidence can do

[nthvega]

Freaking.

I think I'm doing good then I get the crisis team called on me.

This has happened the past 3 office visits omg

[lesbian-disaster-academic]

i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.

as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."

NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING

[civetcider]

[hypotheticallyhaunted]

.

[roguestarsailor]

Hmm thinking of a new tumblr name hmm it’s long overdue!