#sorry these answers are so long lmao

[peace-hunter]

the struggle of having to fight your best friend and be serious about it when the two of you have the same sense of humor and were each other's "yes and-" partner for years </3

anyway. de verdad es tu mejor amigo si no joteas con él cada que puedes 🤭??

haunted au (<- just a little bit tho lmao)

chat transcript under the readmore lol

nexus: he's far too close :/

solus: get him away!!1!!

alchemist: you have to distract him

zeta: throw him off balance

liege: flirt with him lol

zeta: what no

vector: DO NOT

alchemist: bad idea bad idea bad idea

megatronus: i'm disowning you if you do

nexus: no way he's doing that

solus: holy frag he did it

micronus: HOLY FRAG HE DID IT LMAOOO

megatronus: I'M NEVER TALKING TO EITHER OF YOU EVER AGAIN

liege: YES YES YES LET'S FRAGGING GOOOOOO

zeta: OPTIMUS PRIME WE DO NOT FLIRT WITH THE ENEMY

vector: if you get out of this alive i'm dragging you to the allspark myself do you hear me

megatronus: I'M DISOWNING BOTH OF YOU

nexus: DO YOU WANT HIM TO GET CLOSER

alchemist: TERRIBLE IDEA TERRIBLE IDEA TERRIBLE IDEA

prima: everyone stfu right now!!

liege: ABORT ABORT ABORT ABORT HE'S INTO IT

alchemist: WORST IDEA EVER WORST IDEA EVER TERRIBLE NO GOOD WORST IDEA EVER

megatronus: IF HE EVEN THINKS ABOUT IT I'M CRAWLING OUT OF HTE ALLSPAPRK AND OFFLINING HIM MYSELF

zeta: GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAY

solus: OH NO HE'S A FREAK TOO

vector: I FRAGGING TOLD YOU

prima: OPTIMUS PRIME YOU ARE GROUNDED

micronus: KICK HIM IN THE NUTS

nexus: WHY ON PRIMUS' NAME ARE YOU BLUSHING

onyx: THIS IS NOT THE TIME OPTIMUS

megatronus: I SWEAR IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT I'M DRAGGIN YOU BOTH TO THE PIT

zeta: WE DO NOT FLIRT WITH THE ENEMY AND WE ARE NOT SEDUCED BY THE ENEMY EITHER

[abidethetempest]

How would you say "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down" in Eliksni? /j

This post is part of my ongoing project to create a language for the Eliksni! For more information check out my masterpost linked here.

No pitiful /j will save you, anon. You asked for a translation, you're getting a translation.

Nam'iik sriivikun aklii, nam'iik kvuurun aklii.

If this gets a hundred notes I'll translate the whole song /hj

[14dayswithyou]

Meowdy Saint 😼

I got goth vibes and so does my AngelOC, Elodie. So it's funny to imagine this pink boy who is secretly an emo boy in disguise next to a wednesday addams esque babe lmao. Poor boy miscalculated, I like that there was an option to be like 'Oh I like that goth style' at the cafe.

But this raises a question! Would he drop the Ren persona and aesthetic if he realized it wasn't totally necessary?

⌞♥⌝ This has been answered multiple times in the past, but yes, he'd drop the light academia aesthetic if Angel wasn't into it! ^^

However, from a game dev standpoint, it'd be extremely difficult for me to include a bunch of types and aesthetics in hopes of making Ren's appearance feel more inclusive for everyone, so it's easier for me to say, "Oh, Angel likes this one anime character" and build the lore around that.

So, for those who like Ren's real appearance and would've preferred if he introduced himself as [REDACTED] (instead of his Haruko persona), I hear you!! ^^

But please understand that if that were the case, the 14DWY storyline would be a lot less interesting and would defeat the entire purpose of Ren's motives. A big part of his characterisation is that he's more than willing to alter every part of himself to become Angel's ideal type, and if their type happened to be [REDACTED], then it'd make the buildup to his reveal in Day ??? feel far less anticlimactic.

[americankimchi]

Do you have any tips for writing Obi Wan or any meta in mind with his characterizarion?

hmmm sure why not! i'll give a few tips on how i'd write obi-wan. mind you this is how i interpret the character, so ymmv.

i truly do not like it when fics have obi-wan voluntarily leaving the order. like it's so out-of-character for me in my head that the premise of the story + the writing would have to work triple-time to get me to stick around. now if he's been removed from it by an EXTERNAL SOURCE (not the order. i cannot stress this enough: the jedi kicking obi-wan out is so jarring to me i'll leave the fic in an instant) or somehow unable to return to the order for whatever reason, all is well.

not a prodigy, but a genius. obi-wan is an incredibly intelligent person with an absolutely staggering knowledge base in a wide variety of topics, but all that knowledge was earned through blood, sweat, tears, and time. he sat down with his game face on and put in the work. that's also why he makes an excellent teacher: he knows what most students will struggle with because he struggled too, and knows through experience how best to overcome them. i headcanon that it contributes to why he's such a good negotiator: he's really good at stripping down information to the essentials and communicating that information effectively and efficiently to others because of his intense study habits.

humble, but not ignorant of his skills. it's pretty impossible to fully divorce yourself from pride in your achievements, and i don't think it's healthy to not feel any pride at all, so i think obi-wan has a very clear understanding of his skillset and how best to use it. i don't think he'd be ignorant of how good he is at something, especially since the direct consequence of his aptitude led him to being a member of the jedi council. pretty hard to be blind to your strengths when you're being asked for your input on topics that directly draw from that knowledge.

averse to healthcare. listen i enjoy obi-wan whump just as much as the next obi-wan stan (the desire to put him in the cosmic salad spinner comes with the territory, i fear) but as a character who grew up in an environment that deeply cares for the well-being of all, and knowing that you cannot help others unless you yourself first have the ability to do so, i can't really see him ignoring injuries outside of combat scenarios. like on the battlefield he's got more pressing concerns than a pesky little shrapnel wound or five, but once the battle's over?? he might not be first in line to the medics but i can't see him avoiding them entirely. an army without a general is working at a sharp disadvantage and i don't think he'd risk his men by neglecting his physical health in that manner. note that i said 'physical'. make of that what you will :)

duty. obi-wan is the definition of a paladin. he takes an oath and by the force he's going to keep it. train the boy? absolutely, qui-gon. whether or not anakin chooses to respect that training is another matter, but he did definitively get knighted! refuse to kill anakin? listen he's handed vader his own ass to him twice post order 66 and each time he did it he did it nonlethally. that takes skill. that takes dedication. exile yourself to tatooine for 19 years and then decide fuck it, we ball, and die after Once Again Deciding Not To Kill Anakin Skywalker? step aside casper, there's a new friendly ghost in town. every time obi-wan commits to something the man COMMITS. you GOTTA respect that grind.

flirty but in the sense that he's going to match the energy someone brings to the table. like he's a negotiator. he knows how to read people and figure out the Vibes. if he thinks the other person will be 1) 100% receptive and 2) will respond with a delightful wit, why the hell not? obi-wan's highest stat is charisma and he's got expertise in persuasion. whether they're allies or not does not factor into this equation. he can have a little flirtation with morally dubious and potentially hostile characters. as a treat.

this has nothing to do with his character but i firmly believe that he and quinlan vos had at LEAST a fling when they were padawans. there is zero evidence to back this up aside from a few comics where they were being goofy teenagers together but i stand by this. it is an unshakeable aspect of obi-wan to me that has only gotten worse with the kenobi show.

no matter what, no matter how terrible or devastating or downright apocalyptic it gets, obi-wan kenobi will never fall to the dark side. never. it won't be easy, but that is a line he has never, and will never cross. i will not hear any "obi-wan touched the dark side during the theed generator fight" slander. if that was true tell me why the force theme was playing during his moment of triumph!!! Would John Williams Lie To Us Like That?? to our face?????

anyways i could go on forever about obi-wan because he is My Ultimate Blorbo but this post is getting super long so i'll leave it there. hope this helped even a little or at the very least was entertaining for you to read <3

[dekariosclan]

I have a simple thought

Tav making or trying to make Gale fail No Nut November

Woof-

18+ under the cut!

Dearest Anon, I am giving you the most enthusiastic high-five right now. 🙌💯💯💯

Not only because this ask is magnificent, and not only because I squealed when I read it, but because you sent it to me at 10:28pm on November 1st.

Anon, the fact that you couldn’t even last 24 hours into No Nut November before sending in an ask about No Nut November is absolutely perfect. And do you know why?

Because being unable to last 24 hours into No Nut November is exactly what would happen to Gale.

Truthfully, the hardest part of this ask was coming up with why in the hells Gale would ever agree to participate in NNN in the first place. In fact, I think he would be positively incensed at the very idea: “…an entire MONTH of abstaining from pleasures of the flesh?! Simply to prove that it can be done?! Well! I could chop off an arm and cast spells one-handed to prove that it could be done, but it’s hardly something I’d willingly partake in!”

However! For the sake of this fantastic ask, we’ll say that he was convinced and agreed to try.

But the real crux of the matter, and your actual question, is what Tav would do about this situation. And the truth is, I really don’t think Tav would even have to try hard (or uh…at all) to make Gale fail at NNN.

Picture this series of events with me, anon:

Gale waking up with Tav in his arms (or he in theirs)

Drinking in the sight of his beloved as he does every morning

Noticing that Tav’s nightshirt is unlaced, their shoulder and chest uncovered and in full view

Their leg draped over his, thigh fully exposed

Gale already uncomfortably hard due to it being the morning

Tav innocently shifting and repositioning themselves to snuggle closer, their leg brushing over his bulge

Gale doing everything in his power not to audibly moan, thoughts flooding his mind of how they’d made love in the morning just a few days past. Remembering Tav pulling him from sleep by riding him as though their life depended on it. Thinking of Tav’s thighs clamping around his midsection, and then around his head, the taste of Tav on his tongue as he—

Gale not rolling out of bed so much as falling out of it.

Apologizing profusely, frantically getting dressed in his teaching robes, giving Tav a chaste kiss on the forehead, and all but running out the door

Tav joining Gale for lunch at the Academy as usual

The faculty lounge being so crowded that Tav has to sit on Gale’s lap

Beads of sweat forming on Gale’s forehead as Tav blithely chats with the other Professors

Gale trying not to think about Tav’s perfectly shaped ass

Gale trying not to think about how good it feels pressed against him

Gale trying not to think, period

Fumbling or dropping his fork every time Tav shifts slightly

Apologizing for his clumsiness to the point of babbling, even as Tav reassures him it’s fine. Tav finally just putting their finger over Gale’s lips to get him to stop

It taking every ounce of willpower for Gale to not take Tav’s finger in his mouth

Lunch ending with Gale looking as flushed and sweaty as if he’d just ran a marathon rather than sat for 45 minutes

Tav asking him if he’s okay and Gale reassuring them that he’s fine

Grateful that they cannot see his orb scar through his thick teaching robes, certain it is glowing blindingly bright purple

Kissing Tav goodbye, this time on the lips. Instantly realizing his mistake as the thought occurs to him that he could just dimension door them both into his private office, and—

Hastily breaking the kiss and telling Tav he hopes they have a good afternoon, he’ll see them this evening, he loves them

Spending the rest of the afternoon steeling his resolve

Barely able to pay attention to his class

Muttering to himself that it’s just 30 days! Surely that is surmountable! His bond with Tav is incomparable, they are tethered at the soul, their love goes beyond just the physical, even if that aspect is magnificent and life-giving and—

Ending class early when he realizes he’s mistakenly conjured Tav’s likeness when he was supposed to be channeling the Weave

Arriving home, escaping to the kitchen to start dinner, praying that Tav is busy elsewhere in the tower

Relieved to find a note that they will be home a bit later

Focusing on dinner preparation to the point that he doesn’t realize how much time has passed

Looking up to see Tav has arrived home. The air suddenly thick with their sweet musk

Gale, realizing from their glistening muscles, flushed cheeks and battle gear that they have been off doing their weekly practice at the local armory

Gale, completely mesmerized as a single bead of sweat rolls down their neck and over their heaving chest

OhGodsNo.jpg

Tav, greeting Gale with a quick kiss, suddenly finding themselves caught in his embrace

A purple hue rapidly covering Gale’s chest

His eyes dark, face flushed

His mouth hovering over Tav’s, his voice sounding parched. “Forgive me, my love. I seem to have made a mistake.”

Performing a quick spell with a single hand motion, changing the date on every calendar in the Tower. “I thought it was November 1st when we awoke this morning. My most humble apologies. It appears to actually be December 1st.”

Tav, their lips brushing Gale’s, laughing. “Oh? My goodness, November seemed to absolutely fly by.”

Gale, pulling Tav even closer, his lips brushing theirs as he whispers, “With any luck, December will feel like it lasts a lifetime,” before claiming their mouth with his own.

[pricegouge]

I had a vision of Kyle being the sweetest (master manipulator) boyfriend ever. Like he’s so sweet and Reader likes to toe the line of being overly bratty. Snippy attitude, haughty, maybe even tries to ‘manipulate’ Kyle. All the while Kyle is just beaming on the inside and encouraging Reader’s. Behavior. He’s tallying up every time Reader does something cause he knows what’s coming to Reader sooner rather than later. But Kyle isn’t going to be the one that breaks his Reader, no no

Kyle calls in his Captain to help cause poor, sweet Kyle just ‘doesn’t’ have the heart to discipline his Reader.

Cue Reader, hours later after meeting Kyle’s Captain out of the blue, is crying and begging while Captain John “That’s sir to you, pet” Price withholds another orgasm. Making Reader beg and apologize over and over to Kyle while Price’s fingers are knuckle deep, not even giving Reader his cock cause Reader’s been such a brat to Kyle. All the while Kyle just coos and wipes Readers tears, acting all solemn like “this hurts me more than you, baby. Come on, just last another 10 minutes and then I know you’ll mean your sorrys.”

Bonus points to Kyle cause I just KNOW he didn’t tell Reader beforehand what he was planning to when his Captain came around. Godddddddd I know Kyle would give the best Stockholm Syndrome aftercare, really layering it on and then maybe helping Reader subtly to start being a brat again hehehehehehehehehe

yeah, that.

a string of pleas leak past your lips, coated in drool and spit and tasting vaguely of tears. you don't even know which of them you're begging anymore, eyes unfocused as they dart between the two looming shapes standing over you, working you in tandem, a cruel rhythm that has you arching with another swelling roll of pleasure which the captain doesn't allow to crest. he's got you legs folded to your chest, hips lifted to give him full access to your cunt where he mercilessly fucks three thick fingers into your sopping hole, your clit pinched cruelly between the thumb and forefinger of his other hand as he stills, waits you out as your body sings, faltering and stuttered, before falling back to the bed, underwhelmed.

"kyle," you eek, strained cries staining your voice. he doesn't even shush you as he thumbs your tears away, soaks up your pleas just as the dry calluses of his thumb absorb your tears.

"one more you think, cap?" his eyes are on you but he's not really looking at you, not seeing how tired and worn out you are already, resorting to his captain's judgement even here, with his partner's comfort on the line.

price's voice is low when he answers, barely even audible over the sounds he's pulling from your pussy as he starts in again, a slow, deep rhythm that makes your heartbeat stutter and stall, start again at the pace he sets. "three, if she's lucky."

[leonsliga]

I love that thomas and manu ship themselves. with a lot of other duos, it's just wishful thinking (totally fine) but their friendship? god <3 so real. the pictures, the "we've been married for 15 years", the interviews... why so romantic if not romantic lol in another universe, they are 100% together

Right? Everything’s so easy and natural with them. And while I don’t mind a bit of wishful thinking myself, the bond Manu and Thomas have is so authentic and genuine that it’s hard not to get a least a little sappy about them. And there’s just. so. much. lore. Even setting aside the iconic decade partners Instagram post and Thomas saying they’ve been married for 15 years, we’ve had so many moments that just really only make sense with them. Like when Thomas named one of his colts Manuel because he was born on Manu’s birthday, or how, during Bayern’s dominant 2012/13 season, Thomas would train with Manu during matches to keep his reflexes sharp. Or, well, just about any of what they said about each other here:

And, along those lines, sometimes they say things that just have such old married couple undertones that it’s genuinely hard to interpret them any other way, like the time reporters asked Manu if he would go golfing with Thomas at the DFB training camp and he replied with “I can’t golf. I could carry his luggage or whatever.” Or the time Thomas was asked about Manu’s perfect match against Porto back in his Schalke days and he immediately remembered his platinum blonde hair from back then. And then of course there’s the time Manu said Thomas was more than a teammate for him (aka Neuller heritage).

We also can’t forget when the two were decorating Bayern’s Christmas tree in 2015 and Thomas asked Manu if he holds onto the ornament baubles as tightly as he would a match ball (translation: Thomas wanted Manu to hold onto his baubles tightly 😏). Or how, when asked about whether or not Thomas would like to be Bayern’s official captain one day, Thomas was quick to reply, “I hope not. I’ve always tried to take responsibility in the team, but Manu is very welcome to remain my captain until the end of my career.” (in case you needed more proof that these two were robbed).

But that married couple-ness isn’t just in their words; it’s in their actions too. Take any of the times they’ve held hands during matches, or all the loving face cradling, head rubs, and head pats. And of course, the hugs. The many, many hugs. Especially from the side, so Thomas can grab onto Manu’s waist.

Also, I refuse to let any of you overlook that time Thomas gave Manu a full-on neck message in the tunnel (which, I might add, Manu was so unfazed by that it’s hard not to wonder if this had happened before).

And while we’re at it, talking about niche Neuller moments and all, there was that time they might very well have kissed behind a poorly-timed German flag back in 2010. And all their other Euro 2012 qualifier shenanigans that same year.

Fast-forwarding a bit to the 2012/13 season, and we were in for a treat; we had Thomas pulling a Luis Suárez and going in for a little nibble on Manu’s arm. Because not even the great Thomas Müller is immune to the cute aggression Manuel Neuer inspires.

Also, what about the time Manu got absolutely piss-drunk during the treble celebrations that same season and decided he needed to hug Thomas IMMEDIATELY? Or how we got the closest thing to an actual kiss we might ever get when Thomas kissed him on the cheek here?

Honestly, 2013 was Bayern’s year in more ways than one, because not only did it bring us the treble, it also brought us this iconic verse in the Neuller gospel:

But let’s get back to the way they talk about one another, because it doesn’t matter what the situation is—they always back each other. Before the 2014 World Cup even started (and Manu all but fingered him during the post-win festivities), he was already convinced Thomas would be the key to their success—a sentiment that carried over to club level, where he insisted Thomas was the linchpin in Bayern’s attack.

With Manu, it’s often the little things that speak volumes, like trusting in Thomas’ fitness, his ability to influence a match, and his importance for Bayern. He’s quick to remind everyone that Thomas always stands up for the team, that he’s dangerous regardless of position, and that his constant communication is a game-changer. As Manu would put it, “we (Bayern) need Thomas”.

Even when Thomas fell out of favor at Bayern for a time, Manu rushed to his defense, reminding everyone that “he’s a mature player who doesn’t buckle so easily”, and, despite dealing with a lot of criticism, Thomas remained important for the squad and was always in demand (in one way or another). Put another way, he had faith that Thomas could handle it.

For Thomas’ part, he has no problem casually reminding everyone that he thinks Manu is the number 1 goalkeeper in the world, that he makes a good striker, and, even though there are many good goalkeepers, Manu is special—just a step above the others and superb on the ball.

When his mans was shafted for FIFA World Player of the Year in 2015, Thomas knew just what to say: even if Manu didn’t win, he was the FIFA World Player in his heart. In fact, his decade partner was pretty much the reason Thomas felt so confident going into Bayern’s 2020 Champions League tie versus PSG; after all, in his words, “we’ll still have Manuel Neuer between the sticks”, a sentiment he echoed after they won.

And let’s not forget about that time a reporter asked Thomas to weigh in on the debate of who should be Germany’s number 1: Neuer or Ter Stegen. Thomas’ answer was immediate: “It’s a difficult decision, of course, but Manu has always been my goalkeeper. That’s why I’m standing by him.” Long story short, they’re always in each other’s corners, and they make no secret of it.

The point is, even when they make mistakes, they’re each other’s most fervent protectors. If the world is against them, then at least they still have each other and always will. Take Manu conceding against Gladbach, a team many would consider to be our goatkeeper’s kryptonite; Thomas was quick to remind the media that he’d saved Bayern’s points plenty of times in the past, and that this time, he just didn’t have as much to do before the goal and was probably a bit cold at the time.

Then you’ve got Manu on the other side of the things, supporting his husband’s rights and his husband’s wrongs, speculating that his red card (yes that one) was because he didn’t see Tagliafico and pretty much already had his foot up, aiming for the ball.

Hell, even when Manu was out of commission for a majority of the 2022/23 season (due to his nearly career-ending injury), Thomas visited him in rehab every day, no doubt for emotional support (and so he could tell his husband his best dad jokes). Although Manu was away from the squad physically, he was there in spirit; Thomas made sure of that, posting Manu’s autograph card from that season above his locker:

But it’s more than sticking around in each other’s darkest moments; they celebrate each other’s achievements too. Whenever Manu wins anything (and I mean anything), guess who’s first in line to congratulate him. It doesn’t matter if it’s World’s Best Goalkeeper, best goalkeeper of the 2019/20 Champions League season, FIFPro World 11, or even his DFB Pokal performance, Thomas will be posting about it (and probably already has). It doesn’t even have to be football-related, like when Manu was awarded the Bavarian State Medal for Social Merit for his charity work. Hell, even when Manu was one of the 3 FIFA World Footballer of the Year finalists, he was overwhelmed with pride (chill babe, the results weren’t even in yet). But by far my favorite instance of these two celebrating each other’s victories actually came from Manu: when he made sure the squad celebrated Thomas’ milestone 500th win with Bayern and refused to let him even try to be modest about it.

Honestly, let’s face it: we could make an entire separate post about all of the Neuller content that came out of Thomas’ 500th win. We had Manu running the length of the pitch to celebrate Thomas’ goal in that milestone match, Manu’s comments in his post-match presser, Thomas’ special thank you to Manu after the fact, the “married for 15 years” comment, and a new Neuller ad where Manu gave Thomas a special anniversary gift…there was so much content that it was almost overwhelming. We were so well fed that week 🥹

Also, speaking of Manu’s comments in his post-match pressers, I’m pretty sure at least a good 1/4 of Manu’s love language is praising Thomas in them, as you can see here, here, here, and here. The rest is him basically reciting his glorified wedding vows to anyone who will listen (and physical touch, duh).

Then you’ve got Thomas turning every Instagram story he can into him gushing over his Schnapper’s skills:

And he has no problem following Manu’s lead either, waxing poetic about his man in post-match interviews.

For as much praise as they heap on one another to the press though, they’re also no strangers to openly flirting with each other as well, if you couldn’t tell from that video from the Audi FCB Tour at the beginning. So, in that spirit, lovely people of the jury, I present to you exhibit A, where Manu told Thomas he’d “given himself a present 😉” after his 400th Bundesliga appearance (whatever tf that means).

Alright, now onto exhibit B: Thomas posting a picture with his two dogs and Manu asking “who’s more handsome”, only for Thomas to answer, “you, dog 😀”. Get a room you two!

Oh, you need more evidence, you say? Well, I’ve got you covered. Have a pic of Thomas brazenly checking out Manu’s ass, because not even he can resist the biggest bakery in Germany.

What’s that? You still need more? Well, aren’t you demanding! But don’t worry, there’s more blatant homoeroticism to come, because here we have exhibit D, where Thomas called doubles tennis with Manu “a dream come true”:

Actually, speaking of doubles tennis with Manu, I’m pretty sure this clip was the inspiration for the movie Challengers. The DFB has yet to confirm this of course, but I have no doubt that that confirmation is coming any day now 😉

Anyways, Neuller is so real and so powerful that at one point Bayern just caved and started funding some club-sanctioned dates. Usually they’re chaperoned (because Bayern might be a little homophobic with it—either that or they don’t trust Thomas not to try and conquer Manu any time they’re left to their own devices—it’s a toss-up really) by the likes of Basti, Mats, or even half the squad (see: 2022 Audi Summer Games). But not always. Sometimes we get Schafkopf dates (because they’re literal senior citizens and their date nights are just them playing cutesy little card games like the old bitties they are).

But anyways, back to our regularly scheduled shipping nonsense, because we still have exhibit E to go through: one day Thomas decided to make Manu’s goalkeeper training a little extra special by showing up shirtless (pretty sure the point of goalkeeper training is to keep him focused, not distract him with your lean, muscular body, Thomas, but I digress):

And lastly, I believe this gem deserves at least an honorable mention:

Let’s take a minute for Manu’s “Schnapper” nickname as well, which, although it may not be one that originated with Thomas, I think we can all agree he’s made it his own. After all, he uses it pretty much every time he talks about him.

As a brief little side note though (I feel like a lawyer giving my closing statements atp 😅), I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the fact that Thomas literally follows a Neuller fan account. Whether it’s intentional on his part or not, it’s still a fun addition to the lore.

So, in conclusion, if not romantic ship, why romantic ship-shaped? 🥺 I’m with you; in another universe, perhaps one not so distant from ours, they got married and grew old together, settling into a house in the mountains, surrounded by horses and doggos. I’m just glad they found each other in this universe at least, because, as it turns out, a Schalker and a Bayern Ultra make one hell of a dream team ❤️

They didn’t know it yet, but they’d go on to coparent the most dominant and successful club in Germany

[jovialoddity]

Prof. Puzzles:

He would see someone holding up a lesbian flag, and just be like “huh, what is that? Wales?” /affectionate

LMAOOOOOO YOU’RE SO RIGHT 😭 the only pride flags he knows are the rainbow flag and maybe the trans flag and the rest he just thinks are some kind of obscure countries he’s never heard of

[raziiyah]

do u think he doesn't get it until celia announces it on the intercom, mf can't see

[pritong-baboy]

About the Bee being blind ask, I think no one BUT Shockwave realizing that he's blind would cause him to want Bee as a son more. Like Shockwave going "no one but me figured out you couldn't see! It was so obvious and they were too ignorant to realize it!" And kinda scaring Bee

bee hiding his disability and living despite it only for shockwave to notice it and constantly make it a point to mention it rrghgrhghrghrg...

ive always really liked that theme i kinda unintentionally did where whenever bumblebee wants to grow as a person be it emotionally and mentally, shockwave always kind of drags him back becayse he "likes him better" that way.

[cheekinpermission]

TWST Ask Game!!

General

1. Who's hand did you first grab? Why? Would you choose someone else if you could do it over again?

2. Who is on your homescreen?

3. What does your guest room look like?

4. Who is on your main team?

5. If you could have any unique magic / signature spell in the game, which would you choose and why?

6. First SSR? Most recent SSR?

7. Is there an SSR you really wanted but never got?

8. Is there any character who seems to follow you (i.e. they always seem to pop up when you're trying to summon someone else)?

9. What changes would you like to see implemented in the game?

Favorites and Least Favorites

10. Top five favorite characters?

11. Favorite character from each dorm?

12. Least favorite character from each dorm? 13. Favorite NRC staff member? 14. Favorite non-NRC character? 15. Favorite dorm?

16. Favorite character design?

17. Favorite overblot design?

18. Favorite dorm uniform?

19. Favorite event?

20. Favorite book from the main story?

21. Favorite R card that you own? Favorite SR? Favorite SSR?

22. Favorite relationships? (Romantic or platonic!!)

Personal

23. Which dorm would you be sorted into? 24. Which character(s) would you get along with the most? 25. Which character(s) would you actively avoid? 26. When did you start playing TWST? 27. What drew you into TWST? What made you stay? 28. What is the TWST related content that you've produced that you are most proud of?

Wild Card

29. What is your opinion on [any character you like!] 30. Make up your own question!

[bklily]

Does Luka ever accidentally stumble into Adrien's Mind Palace when Marinette accidentally calls him the wrong name?

(Not trying to salt here, I think it would be hilarious)

He doesn't so much as stumble in- Luka has free access to anyone's mind whenever he wishes really.

He does use those powers for good though

[mmavverickk]

The children of the big three are painfully beautiful.

beautiful as poisonous flowers.

One touch and you're dead.

they are though—they’re venomous creatures, poisonous flowers, forces of nature. the world itself runs through their veins. gods treat them with caution; mere humans don’t stand a chance.

Percy is a riptide. he’s the calm of ocean, moments before its rage. he’s the sun on the beach, the warmth of the sand, the calming, constant crash of the waves. he’s the smell of the salt in the air and the cold of the water against your skin. you can swim, you think, you’ll be fine. he smiles and it’s more beautiful than a sunset over the shore. and then the pull starts. in seconds, you’re farther from shore than you’ve ever been before. trying to swim back tires you out and sees you no closer than before. in fact, now you’re even farther out. the water pulls you under, still as beautiful as it was from shore, and you can’t find your way back up.

Thalia is the eye of the hurricane. the deceitful calm at the end of the storm, luring you out from your shelter. there is nothing more peaceful, more still and tranquil. the sun peeks out from the clouds that surround you from all sides. the wind and rain have died. there’s a rainbow in the sky. the storm is over—except it isn’t. one moment is all it takes, and the hurricane is back with a vengeance. the wind tears at you, rain lashes at you, thunder shakes your bones in place. you walked too far from your shelter, and you might not be able to make your way back.

Jason is hail. the rain is beautiful. it’s a breathtaking storm: impressive thunder, streaking lightning, howling wind. the house shakes around you and the lights go out. the concussive sound of the rain on the roof is soothing, until it isn’t. until it isn’t rain, and the roof isn’t whole. now, the storm is invading your home. the hail is punching its way into everything it can reach. car alarms spring to life outside; those who were watching in awe are now fleeing in terror. it only takes one hit, after all—one lucky piece of hail—to end a life.

Nico is an earthquake. the planet is ancient; the ground was old before you were here and it will be old after you go. it’s sturdy, and supportive, provides life and food and shelter. long ago, when the ground danced, when it shook itself free and sent cities tumbling to the ground, they called it the gods’ wrath. now, it’s called plate tectonics. no matter what it is, no matter why it happens, it is lethal and dangerous and uncaring of those it affects. nowhere is safe when the world turns on you, and if it decides you and your shelter should fall, you will.

Hazel is a sinkhole. the appearance of stability, of rock-solid ground and firm foundations. nothing is wrong, will ever be wrong, she’s the rock that holds everyone up. and then that rock is gone, and you’re falling, down, down, down—your home collapsing around you, your belongings claimed by the morbidly hungry earth. there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but is it sunlight, far, far above you? or is it magma, far far below?

[astronomical-light]

Okay, hi!! Question...how does hockey work?? I followed you because of f1, but obviously you sometimes talk about hockey and I would love to understand. It sounds interesting and I talked to a girl at uni once who liked hockey. And it sounded interesting, but I tried reading the how does a hockey season work wiki page and it's literally incomprehensible. Should I just try watching a random game?? Sorry if this is a bother! I hope you have a great day!

okay, so. first of all, i need you to take a moment and be sure you want to be asking this kind of question. you are standing on the precipice of something that cannot be undone, anon. you cannot come back from the places that you’re about to go.

however, you ARE right in time for playoff hockey, which is an absolutely unparalleled experience. even in years where i don’t follow the regular season at all, my ass is always tuning in for playoffs. playoff hockey is almost an entirely different sport when it comes to energy and intensity and spectacle. it really is like nothing else out there; players play through multiple broken bones and other heinous injuries, ships will be forged in fire, other ships will be burned to the ground never to recover. no one comes out of the playoffs unscathed, even if you manage to make it to the end and your team is the one hoisting the cup.

i’m not entirely sure if you want me to explain the structure of the sport itself or gameplay specifically, but i am who i am, so under the cut you are going to find way more fucking information than you bargained for. without further ado:

HOCKEY: HOW DOES IT WORK?

the league

the nhl is made up of 32 teams. there are two conferences, east and west, and then each conference is further subdivided into regional divisions. some of these make more geographical sense than others.

in the west you have the pacific (red) and central (blue) divisions, and in the east we’ve got atlantic (orange) and metropolitan (green). ignore that this is out of date. pour one out for arizona, all my homies think the kachina logo is the sickest logo of all time, nobody cares about the utah hockey club. i am sorry if you care about the utah hockey club.

regular season hockey starts in october and then runs until april. there are 82 games in a season. cross-conference teams play each other twice, once at home and once away. the remaining games are focused within a team’s own conference and division, with a team playing the most games against their specific division. it usually shakes out to something like 21-24 games against conference rivals and 26-29 against division rivals, depending the division itself.

teams earn points based off of results of individual games. a win is two points whether it’s in regulation or overtime, an overtime loss earns you one point, and a regulation loss is zero points. if you’re looking at a team’s record, 1-2-3 would be 1. wins 2. losses 3. overtime losses. points matter for the purposes of playoff position, which we will get into later.

the game

hockey games consist of three twenty-minute periods, with a twenty minute intermission in between each period. between tv time-outs and stoppages in play, you can expect the average game to last approximately two and a half hours, give or take.

the objective: get the puck into the net. the team with the most goals wins. you just gotta get pucks in deep, man.

each team plays 20 players per game, typically 12 forwards, 6 defenseman, and 2 goalies. there are 6 players per team allowed on the ice at a time (5 skaters and a goalie). if a team has more than 20 active players (they almost all do), someone is getting scratched.

skaters consist of forwards and defensemen. forwards come in lines of 3: left wing, center, and right wing. d-men come in pairs. some coaches are known for changing up lines all the time whereas some lines are sacrosanct; it really depends on the team and their style of play. some players are more versatile, but typically a player’s position would be the same even if the lines get shuffled i.e. a center will center regardless of who is on their wing. you’ll hear the phrase “two-way player” for players who are good at both offense and defense, like defensemen who are also known for scoring goals, or forwards who have solid defensive sense.

you’ve got a goalie and a backup goalie dressed out in case something happens to your goalie. then there’s the emergency backup, who is literally usually Just Some Guy, so it’s is always REAL fun when they need to be called in because some real shit had to go down for that to happen.

hockey shifts are short, with typically only about 45 seconds on the ice before you go back to the bench. line changes are fluid and dynamic and happen during active gameplay, so sometimes people forget to count, and that’s how you end up with with a too many men penalty. which brings us to PENALTIES!

players who do crimes are sent to the naughty box to reflect on their wrongdoings. there are small crimes and big crimes.

minor penalties are 2 minutes, and include but are not limited to:

hooking - using your stick like a big ol’ hook to prevent a player from making a play (You Can’t Do That)

spearing - using your stick to stab someone

high-sticking - lifting your stick above shoulder-height (this is usually called when someone gets whacked in the face)

slashing - swinging your stick at someone like a bat

cross-checking - using your stick when body checking

boarding - checking a player dangerously into the boards (you see this a lot when people get pushed into the boards head-first)

roughing - not QUITE fighting, but getting a little too up close and personal with an opponent

tripping, elbowing, holding - exactly what you think it is

there are more. you get the idea.

a penalty that results in drawing blood from an opposing player will result in a double-minor, which is why you will often see players checking for blood when they are whacked in the face. for your suffering, you get twice as much time on the power play!

the power play is when you are on a man-advantage. when the offending player is in the penalty box, the team on the penalty kill only has four players on the ice instead of five. this is where special teams come into play—instead of your regular forward lines and defensive pairings, power plays and penalty kills often shuffle the players who play together to maximize the advantage or minimize the damage.

6-on-3 is technically highest man-advantage a team could have. where did the extra offensive player come from? well, you are technically allowed to pull your goalie and play another skater, which is a high-risk high-reward tactic that is usually only done in the waning minutes of the third period in a last-ditch attempt to tie a game and force overtime. you get an extra attacker, but now your net is empty and left wide-open. this is not stressful at all.

5-on-4 is the most typical power play, but you’ll also see 5-on-3 and 4-on-4 and 4-on-3 etc etc. if a team has more than two players in the penalty box they will still play three skaters, but the options of skaters they get to choose from is reduced because the offending players are in time-out repenting for their sins. sometimes there are abject shenanigans and you end up with scenes like this

god bless.

whenever the team on the power play scores, the penalty is over because justice has been served. UNLESS it’s a major penalty.

major penalties are 5 minutes and you stay on the power play for all 5 minutes regardless of how many times you score. these are typically for more egregious offenses; any minor penalty can be upgraded to a major penalty if it was deemed to be done with the intent to injure another player. aside from that, fighting is the main reason you will see a five minute major. if a player is issued a game misconduct and is ejected from the game, another player will sit the penalty for them (there are also bench minors/administrative penalties where someone will be designated to serve on behalf of the team. or if things get weird and your goalie gets a penalty.)

fighting is… complicated. not technically encouraged anymore, but it’s something i’m not sure the sport will ever eradicate entirely. it is, however you feel about it, one of the things that makes hockey hockey. a lot of times, if a fight is evenly matched and instigated from both sides, you’ll just get offsetting penalties for the players fighting without either team going on the man-advantage. this basically just lets those dudes cool off without punishing either team when both sides are equally culpable. you really only see major fighting penalties called if it’s particularly violent, or if one dude is just wailing on someone who isn’t giving anything back. you get offset penalties or 4-on-4 matched roughing calls more often than anything, in my experience.

now as far as gameplay goes, the main two things that you need to know are icing and offsides, so let’s talk about what all those lines on the ice mean. have this fun diagram i found on google. if you want to know what the fuck is the deal with the circles and the hash marks idk man DM me, i’m not going into alla dat right now.

notably though this does remind me that the attacking and defending zones alternate between periods. in the first and third period, your attacking zone is on the opposite side of the ice as your bench. in the second period, you attack on the same side as your bench, which in theory gives you a little bit of an offensive advantage as you have to cover less ground during line changes. whether this always shakes out in reality is debatable.

anyway, icing is when a team in their defensive zone launches the puck to the other side of the ice and the puck passes the opposing team’s red line without being touched by another player. this prevents a team from just yeeting the puck outside of active play. icing is waived whenever a team is on the penalty kill, and it’s the primary line of defense for killing a penalty.

sometimes you will see a goalie come out to play a puck that would otherwise be iced just for rhythm of play, and the team that didn’t ice the puck can also choose to waive the icing if they don’t want the whistle. sometimes having to do a faceoff might kill the groove you’re in, and you just want to keep the puck in play.

offsides relates to going into your attacking zone. a player is not allowed to enter their attacking zone until the puck passes the blue line FIRST. even if just half of their foot crosses the line before the puck, that is considered offsides and the play is whistled dead. you will get a lot of slo-mo replays for this when a team thinks a goal was scored on an offside play, because after review it will get called no-goal.

related to offsides: if you are in your zone and the puck then gets cleared of the blue line, all of your players have to leave the zone before re-entering.

the goalie crease refers to the space that a goalie is allowed to play where other players are prevented from making “unnecessary contact” lest they get called for goalie interference. what counts as goalie interference, you might ask? nobody fucking knows <3

the goalie CAN leave their crease. some goalies do it a lot more than others, usually just to clear a puck or keep possession on a line change. however i hate when goalies wander too far, like please just stay in your home.

god. what else do you need to know. this post is already so fucking long. checking is a defensive tactic to use your body, typically the hip or the shoulder, to try to separate another player from the puck. crucially, they gotta have the puck to be able to legally check them. your skates cannot leave the ice when checking—picking up speed into a check can get you called for charging. checking is the most common cause of injury, but there’s nothing more fucking beautiful in this world than when when of your guys lands a massive, perfectly timed legal check.

forecheck and backcheck refer to where checking is occurred. forecheck is in your offensive zone, applying pressure to the opposing team to try to force a turnover. backcheck is when you lose the puck and chase after the opposing team into your defensive zone to try to get that shit outta there.

there is a TON of slang and terminology in hockey. if you are watching a game and they say something and you’re like “what in the actual fuck does that mean” just google it bro. soon you will be talking about dirty dangles and greasy goals with the rest of us. here’s a good glossary if you want one.

okay. so you sort of understand how a game is played. if a game is tied at the end of regulation time, you go to overtime. during the regular season, overtime is 5 minutes of 3-on-3 sudden death play. if the game is still tied at the end of five minutes, it goes to a shootout.

during the playoffs, you basically get an entire extra period of 5-on-5 sudden death hockey. you keep playing until someone scores. if no one scores after 20 minutes, you go to intermission and then you start again. yes, this is exactly as stressful as it sounds, and i still have trauma flashbacks to the 5OT tbl v cbj game in 2020 (over NINETY MINUTES of overtime. the game lasted like six hours. they had to reschedule other games. i lost years of my life).

so, speaking of, let’s get into

the playoffs

only 16 teams advance to the playoffs, so this is where a team’s standing comes into play. the top three teams from each division will automatically clinch a playoff spot, and then each conference has two wildcard spots that the team with the next-most points earns regardless of division. this helps balance out the fact that some divisions are stacked and some divisions are… not so good, depending on the year.

yes, this means that you could in theory have a team with a much better record lose out on a playoff spot than a worse team the next conference over. shit happens.

playoffs typically start mid to late april and run until early june. there are four rounds, and it’s a best of seven format. the first team to four wins advances to the next round. there is nothing like the desperation of a game 7, when both teams are playing for their life. it’s all or nothing!!!!

here is an example of a starting bracket with this year’s standings (subject to change, since there are still a handful of regular season games left)

by the time a team makes it to the cup final, they’ve been through a grueling, weeks-long process of playing the fastest paced and most physical hockey of their lives with hardly any breaks. the team with the best regular season record doesn’t always make it this far. at this point, it doesn’t matter how skilled you are. it’s all about survival. it’s about endurance, and being the last team standing. injuries are absolutely something that come into play here, and sometimes the luck just isn’t on your side.

since i’m a bolts bitch, let’s take the 18-19 season for example: tampa tied the all time league record for regular season wins with a 62-16-4 season, and then they proceeded to get swept by a wildcard team in the first round. that’s hockey, baby. shit fucking happens. i’m definitely not still bitter about it.

but again, i do legitimately think the stanley cup playoffs are the pinnacle of all sporting events ever. truly some most must be experienced to be believed things you will ever see. if you watch playoff hockey and you’re not into it, then this sport is probably not for you because it doesn’t get any better.

anyway i really need to eat dinner so i am going to shut the fuck up now, but if you have any further questions feel free to hmu. if you are like omg tl;dr i just want the fic, i made an absurdly long rec list last year here. yes, it is very funny that i said i never got into connor/leon and then i proceeded to write connor/leon. i DID say no one comes out of the playoffs unscathed, okay!!

[peteytheparrot]

how to make. comic

Step one after coming up with a really epic idea (aka daydreaming for hours on end) write it down and doodle it really shitily in your notes

Step two forget about it for months on end before making it (I have so many random comic ideas unfinished) (this is why you write it down before hand)

Step three finally get your ass up and make the sketch 💞💞 Step four spend way too much time making the panels because they HAVE to be perfect for some reason (or else I’ll freak tf out and die /j)

Step five and six make the lineart and coloring, and then add the speech bubbles, this is where you can tweak the wording and or change where the speech bubbles go (mostly done so it flows better)

(Don’t be afraid to cover up your art with speech bubbles if needed, ik it kind of sucks but reading ability is very important in comics, and having your speech bubbles all wonky WILL turn off readers, no matter how good your art is)

step seven make a REALLY lazy background because you do NOT want to do shit this time!! (Pretend they don’t have lighting on them I merged the layers 💖)

Step eight spend too long on rendering aka lighting and shading!! Step nine add more epic effects aka final touches!! This is always nice to do because it makes it look a lot prettier (like adding overlays, gradient maps, blurs, and noise… idk)

Andddd you’re done, I usually work on multiple comics at once because I CANNOT sit on one thing only!! Nuh uh!! Comics take fucking ages and will ALWAYS take ages so if you don’t have the patience for it I’m sorry bro 💔 you will not handle it 💔

Although! When I started making mini comics they took me like? 10+ hours but the more I did them they now take around 3 hours at the shortest. This one took 5 hours.

This is just how I make comics btw, most comics I see don’t go fucking crazy on the rendering/lighting/shading (usually on comics I see there is none tbh! And it works for them!) I’m just insane and like to make my comics look really pretty or else I’ll explode for some reason.

Also 😇 if you wanna see more comics of these guys go here for places you can read them at 😇

[lokh]

what do you think toshiro's version of laios would've been like if he was still with the group during the shapeshifter shenanigans

there have been a few speculations in the tag and among the fans and they are all very good SO i am going to take this opportunity to insert a bit of my shipping bias as i like in my interpretation LMAO agdsfgdfgv

i noted that in actuality shuro seems to have a very good grasp on laios' character??? this is most obvious in the manga later on but even seeing how he criticises laios in their fight... iirc nothing he says is actually untrue or wildly exaggerated, and while he does express frustration over something he feels like laios Should have control over (noticing his cues), he is also aware that laios isnt being malicious and that hes Just Like That. what i mean to say is that while i think his version of laios may seem more pushy and in-your-face, i dont think it will be overwhelmingly so. if its post-fight, i think the idea of laios (and marcille) being willing to do anything to get falin back made a big impression on him, as well as the idea that they need to eat and rest in order to succeed in their goals, so those aspects would be prominent in his version. he seems pretty observant, so i think for the most part the physical traits would line up, but i think there would be specific things that stand out to him that would appear strangely striking on his version of laios (like. idk something about his eye colour or the subtle contrast of his armour and chainmail. he seems to have a weird sense of aesthetics if extras are anything to go by lmao). if hed actually been paying attention all those times laios had gone on about what the hell ever, then it might be even MORE hard to tell apart his version since he would also have a good grasp on what laios should know. so either his version of laios is pretty difficult to pick out, OR despite the character being accurate his appearance is too. stylised lmao (exaggerated features or something) OR!! they just get him to pull out his monster gourmet guide thing and are able to tell from there. iirc everyone was surprised at its appearance so its possible toshiro had also never seen it before

IN MY IMAGINARY SHIPPING SCENARIO............ lets say that his laios isnt able to be picked out immediately and that the monster guide thing also doesnt immediately occur to anyone. what the real laios Specifically notices is how close this other laios keeps getting to shuro. and hes like. ??? why is he getting so close to him, theres no way i get that close to him??? but no one else seems to be picking up on it as weird, so hes having a small crisis like do i REALLY get that close to him???? and now that hes on the outside he notices shuro subtly leaning away and he feels both a wave of shame and..... protectiveness??? (JEALOUSY??????) and he immediately steps in and grabs him like Hey!!! cant you see hes uncomfortable???? weve been through this already!!! and like. ok i cant believe im doing this again but i need to separate this into different endings

a) the whump route: i dont think shuro ever envisioned Actually Telling laios about his frustrations outside of being basically cornered into it. has he ever spoken up against what was expected of him?? has he ever been confrontational???? i think part of what held him back from expressing his frustrations, along with the cultural norms, could be fear of what the reaction would be. if he had done the same in any other aspect of his life (his family, his inheritance), i think he would expect disappointment, disapproval, more proof that he doesnt add up to expectation. to be honest i dont think he Truly believes that laios is the type of person to react like this. but it was strong enough to prevent him from acting and i think would be projected onto his image of laios. maybe fake!laios says something dismissive like Well if it really bothered him hed say something right? what, he cant even stand up for himself? cmon, shuro, prove that you cant handle it just like everything else. and thats pretty much the fastest giveaway that it isnt really laios. of course this would be a HUGE tonal departure from what the actual episode/chapter was, so:

b) the dumbass route: both laioses break into fisticuffs, and, yes.... barking. and so they speedrun the entire encounter as the shapeshifters true form appears and, after laios points out that thinking too hard about others versions of you can tear apart groups and peace of mind, they pointedly do not speak of it again. they think about it though. a LOT

c) the normal route: both laioses argue normal like and the group ends up being able to tell them apart because the fake laios goes on a little too long about how theyre all here for falin and everyones like ok its not like he DOESNT love his sister but.......... the rest of the scenario probably goes like canon, though then i would want to see what everyone Else thought of shuro