#sorry if i forgot anyone i love you all
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pysgodyn · 3 days ago
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What is your favourite colour: Green duhh
What is your favourite holiday: My birthday, its a public holiday
If you were any animal what would you be: opossum or a duck or a coyote those are my 3 animals and they are all very different
ermm anyone can partake or not partake no pressure, ill tag @okayyypengy @mashedpotatosinacup @knifebox @saltmatchescandlewax @gayymomgod @xmyinn @cytheus @cordd @appleiiforever @micromacs @jobsxgatesbita
yknow what i wanna be cool and make a tag game
so if you wanna:
do this picrew
and then answer the questions:
What is your favourite colour?
What is your favourite holiday?
If you were any animal what would you be?
So for me:
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What is your favourite colour? Green
What is your favourite holiday? Christmas maybe?
If you were any animal what would you be? Crow or bear probably
tags:
@sotiredimbored @mildlybizarrecorvid @chickencentaur @bucketsandraincoats @rorys-bullshit-dot-com @choucon @someones-here-fore-sure @arandombiped @forestgromlin @emilem-forevermore @demigod-jack-hearth @37x3 @your-dazzling-sun
+ open tags
(btw lmk if you wanna be removed or anything i tried to think of poeple who tag me in stuff normally lol)
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blossoms-phan · 5 months ago
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i've reached 200 followers?? 🥲
i'm always yapping about phandom love and just how much i've enjoyed coming back to this community so i'll keep this short and sweet but truly, i appreciate every single one of you so much. i've felt so accepted and appreciated on here and i can't even express how much fun it's been just to be *in* the phandom again, in this golden era after watching them for so many years and just being able to share this space with all of you funny, talented, wonderful people. i've gotten into creative outlets for my dnp obsession like writing, making moodboards, etc again + just sharing my rambles/dnp thoughts on here and i cannot emphasize enough the fact that i literally think about dnp 24/7 and share that with no one else in my life so being able to do it so freely on here is everything to me. ok enough sap. ty and can't wait to grow and practice more phannieism with you all 🌸💖🌸
special shoutouts to mutuals! and friends i've made on here ily, i love seeing y'all in my notifs <33
@jonsaremembers @trashcanfromgallifrey @phillieladybird @pinofdnp @add1ictwithapen @thighguys @dnpbeats @eddiesangels @phanbear @slutoast @notsosaucystuff @randomslinky @ghoulish-art-tendencies @wdapteo @astradyke @phantasticphizza @emotoangel @ingydar-phan @philshotcocoa @omatone-dnp @mouldywalls @spunkymalone @aterribleinfluence @flowercrownknight @dansendjumper @snailsandstrawberries @burningreddaylight @purpurussy @evermorepeyton @oldphanny @misfittoy15 @corgihill @comicphans @awkward-imp @honeypothowell @gamora-borealis @fields-of-ivy @gravitysembrace @phannie-historian @scuddleduck
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clownhonkbonk · 6 months ago
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not being able to animate is defeated by sasha rackett ( surprising no one )
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just-null · 1 year ago
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IS THIS DAY 8 OR 9
IDK I FORGOR
LET MARRY UR NORITOSHI RN
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or so you thought. i really like the number five and you skipped that day. all your efforts have gone down the drain and im annulling this marriage.
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moonchild-in-blue · 13 days ago
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I have injured myself in fun and erotic ways. Blood has been spilled - come and lick my scarring wound.
(i cut myself slicing an oange 🥺🍊)
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kingslionheart · 11 months ago
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I was wondering, do you think alfred and uhtred had feelings for each other in canon?
ALRIGHT SO. I'm so extremely sorry for taking so long to answer, life has been messy for a while now and I think it has been almost 3 months since you sent this. I have basically written this entire answer little by little every single day since I first received the ask and I have only just now finished reading it again.
EVEN MORE APOLOGIES BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE EXTREMELY LONG, I'll keep it under the cut!!
Please bear in mind that there are spoilers for the entire show and film and please forgive any possible typo.
OFF WE GO NOW!!
In general I think it is important to note that the last kingdom is a show FULL of queer characters (and I will die on that hill), mostly because there's just so much subtext in the whole show, and Alfred is 100% queercoded.
There are so many aspects of his character that just betray his queerness and the first thing that does that is literally the thing so many blame him for: the way he treats Uhtred.
NOW.
Let's look at Alfred's first scene ever. Alfred appears in 1x02 and he's introduced as someone who considers himself a sinner because of his inability to control his lust. When Beocca speaks to him about the girl he’s currently feeling guilty about, Alfred's immediate first reaction is to banish her, but instead he's presented with the option of bringing her into his service. Now the reason why it is proposed by Beocca is to keep her close to show God that he's able to resist temptation and, when he does resist, to thank this higher being he so desperately believes in. This is something that comes again in 1x03 when Beocca tells him to pray for strenght the moment he almost fails again.
In brief we know that there are two moments when Alfred has to pray: when he resists temptation and when he's tempted.
After he becomes king he reserves a very particular treatment for this girl who tempted him. In 1×04 we can see, for example, that soon after washing his hands, he basically throws a towel at her without a single glance. The treatment he gives her is a cold and distant one and that's the exact same way he treats Uhtred.
Indeed, as he did when he accepted Beocca's suggestion about the servant girl, I actually believe that proving God that he could resist temptation is one of the two reasons why Alfred has brought Uhtred into his service in the first place. The only other important use he had was his knowledge of the Danes, because, at least at this point of the story, the reason of him being such a fantastic sword genuinely does not stand.
In S1 it is very obvious that Uhtred isn't that much of a great warrior, and that makes sense because he's still very young, and at the end of the day he only first made his reputation when he killed Ubba, which, by Uhtred's own admission in the books, was entirely by luck, since he was actually the one who was about to get killed. Of course it is absolutely clear why he would have never admitted such thing, he needed that reputation and that was the first significant chance he got, but the thing is that he had been in Alfred's service for a few years already when that happened.
Alfred gave lands and a title of ealdorman to someone who was a 18 years old who came from Northumbria, a some guy who had absolutely nothing and no reputation whatsover, and that he himself barely knew, even worse a man who looked like a dane and that was a pagan. If you ignore Uhtred's point of view, that's absolutely insane of someone who just became a king who didn't even have that much support from his nobles yet.
It was serving Alfred that granted Uhtred to become an actual warrior with reputation, before that he wasn't one, as Uhtred himself told Alfred in 1×02.
As I said, the only good reason for Alfred to take such a man into his service was to have danish knowledge in court, but even that could have been something quick, you know, learning the basics and then just keeping contact with him as a spy, exactly as he did with Haesten at the end of S2 and at the beginning of S3, but no. Alfred tried his very best to tie him down to Wessex and make sure that he would remain. Why is that? It is to prove that he was able to resist temptation and being in control of his own body.
Alfred was an extremely pious man as many say throughout the whole show and even in the film. He needed to prove himself to God so that he would have had favour from his part and back then there was also the whole concept of "a king who's not able to control his body is not able to control his kingdom". Resisting temptation with a man would have proven it even more than resisting temptation with a woman, especially because, compared to the other servants, Alfred genuinely arrives to a point where he's actually and sort of obviously in love with Uhtred, so it isn't any longer just a body thing but a mind/heart thing, so even worse because that would cause his judgement to be clouded, Alfred himself admits this in 2x06, where he also says that Uhtred is a temptation to him.
The word temptation is an interesting one because Alfred always uses it with a sexual connotation, we saw that in s1 especially, but I want to talk about the episode I just mentioned. Here Alfred talks about Uhtred to Aelswith and he says:
What if all this time, it has been the work of the Devil tempting me? Offering me this warrior, this seemingly loyal and brave man, who piece by small piece, is eating at my soul and clouding what I believe to be right and wrong.
Alfred here, as I said already, explicitly says that he considers Uhtred a temptation sent by the devil, which, with the knowledge of his specific use of that word, can only mean one thing. The fact itself that Aelswith then replies that "this is what the devil would do" is noteworthy because that is a topic once called to attention by Asser in 1x06 when talking about Iseult he tells Uhtred "I know the devil exists, hiding within beauty is a trick he will use often, I'm sure". Aelswith gives Alfred a solution to the problem by telling him to get rid of him, and that's what does, he banishes Uhtred. Alfred talked of Uhtred as a temptation and then he chose to banish him for a while, does it by any chance remind you of something? His first instict in 1x02 about the servant.
Another thing that is very important to point out is that, as I said before, Alfred is considered a pious christian, so we know that Alfred prays daily and a lot, he even uses prayers to establish a political connection most of the times, but that can't prove his piety because many did too. The only times Alfred proves his piety are those when he prays alone and that happens 3 times in 3 seasons, which is funny since we could have expected way more for his reputation, but since it happens so little there has to be a meaning. As we said, we know that Alfred has to pray in two specific moments: when he has to thank God for resisting temptation and when he's tempted.
So very casually the times where he prays alone are always connected to Uhtred.
The first moment it happens is in 2x06, before the scene when Alfred admits that Uhtred tempts him and after the scene when Alfred screams at Uhtred "I do not know you and I could never know you", which is totally "know" as the biblical meaning of the word, if we consider everything that I have said before. The two other times are in s3, when Alfred's love for Uhtred is way more obvious and rather in a more romantic way than just attraction. The first time in that season is in 3x03 when he's there praying, with tears in his eyes, a few weeks (perhaps even a month) after Uhtred has betrayed him, and there he speaks of him and we see that he's hurt and wants to hurt Uhtred in return, so there's an element of heartbreak. The second time is in 3x06, after he has seen Uhtred again for the first time since his betrayal, and there we can find something close to worry for Uhtred's condition as a pagan, because he says that "He is a man in great need of the guidance of God". In 3x08 there's also an interesting hint about his prayers when Beocca hypothyses that Alfred prays for Uhtred's return and the truth behind it is written plainly on Alfred's face. His prayers shifted from a physical attraction type of temptation to something that could very clearly be recognised as love.
S3 is THE proof that Alfred was in love with Uhtred and, while you can already see it in the first episode of it when he watched Uhtred ride away from the city (which he also did in 1×02), that love becomes more obvious immediately after Uhtred betrays him in 3x02, YES THAT SCENE WHEN HE’S CRYING ALONE IN THE ROOM. While I do realise that it could be interpred as crying because his dream of an england was in danger, STILL you know that it is not just that, that man was heartbroken and the worst thing about it is that Alfred totally knew that he had no one to blame but himself, because Alfred is always perfectly aware of the way he treats Uhtred, think about the “I do not, I cannot” in 2x06 when Aelswith asks him if he trusts him, Alfred cannot trust Uhtred because if he did then he would totally fall into temptation, I MEAN LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO AETHELSTAN WITH INGILMUNDR.
From that episode onward Alfred is on another level of misery, and that’s truly an achievement considering how miserable that man always is. First of all he’s angrier than ever and that anger reaches levels of revenge, confirmed by Alfred himself in 3×09 when he says this:
It was done to damn you. To inflict pain, possibly. I try to make decisions rationally. However, taking your children was not a rational decision. It was thoughtless. It was selfish.
Here Alfred admits that he wanted to hurt Uhtred and why did he do that? Because he wasn’t thinking rationally, and why wasn’t he thinking rationally? Because it concerned Uhtred. This literally always goes back to 2x06, because Alfred did say there that Uhtred clouded his judgment and that is the proof. When it comes to Uhtred, when Uhtred is around, he just can’t think rationally. That’s literally some romantic shit there.
I made the example of Aethelstan and Ingilmundr earlier and that truly fits this whole part really well, because in the film Aethelstan is portrayed as someone who’s blind and acting in a completely irrational way because he’s in love with Ingilmundr, his oathman. I would also love to point out how Aethelstan is portrayed as a pious christian king who prays and acts only for his own salvation, since he considers himself a sinner for his queerness. There’s so much guilt in that boy and, especially, more than once he’s compared to Alfred: first by Ingilmundr who tells him that he has to be pious so that men would speak of him as they spoke of his grandfather, and second when Aethelstan talks to Uhtred and indirectly compares his sins as worse than the ones of Alfred, so the connection between them is not only about piety, but also sins. Then, no less important, I think it is quiet obvious who Ingilmundr reminds of considering how he was “born a dane but raised saxon”. The parallels are right there and have never been louder.
Another parallel that I want to point out is the connotation between homosexuality and England, that’s particularly connected to the film because in SKMD Aethelstan wants to unite it simply to redeem himself for having a male lover:
Ingilmundr: Perhaps return to your grandfather’s vision for England. Perhaps now there is an urgency to bring the pagans to light.
Aethelstan: Will that cleanse me? Us?
Ingilmundr: Well, surely the greater the lands, the greater the faith. Go beyond what Alfred dreamed of. Look to the islands God made, not the countries ordained by men, and bring all to Christianity. So when you are judged, you will be found in balance. And thus may accept both the sin… and the conquest against it.
Notice how even in this whole thing Alfred sort of remains the greatest sinner of them all, because Ingilmundr here says to bring to christianity the lands that God created and not the ones that men, Alfred, wanted to make, it almost feels as if he’s saying that his sin would only be accepted if he does what God offers him in lands and therefore if he doesn’t put himself above God by being the one who decides which parts to unite and which not. Here Alfred is truly portrayed as someone who has put himself above God in his decisions and thus England would have never cleansed him for his sins, because he was directly sinning while planning it and actually, always back in 2x06, Alfred too considered himself a sinner for the way he was laying the fundations of the country, but not in the way Ingilimundr meant but because “I am reaching out for an England, all in the name of God, yet I am relying upon the strength of a heathen”, so what made him a sinner was his connection to Uhtred.
The thing is that as a consequence in the film England is connected to carnal sins and, indeed, as you have probably realised already when you watched the show, that country has ALWAYS been put in some sexual way, you may call it Alfred’s fav kink. That seriously begins in 1x03 when Alfred is making out with that servant (the same one we have talked about before) and he literally goes like “I will defend you with my life, you stand as everything that is precious, you are Wessex, England, always to be cherished, never to be violated, only to be loved, vigorously”, therefore Alfred arrived to the point of seeing someone as a personification of England and that happens only another time in the show and that is in 2x03 when he says to Uhtred “You are a Saxon who is also a Dane, The very embodiment of the England that must emerge”.
THE VERY EMBODIMENT.
To him Uhtred was the personification of England and now this might be a bittttt too much from me, but even in 3x09 when Alfred is dying his last conversation is about Uhtred and the role he will have in the formation of England, and there Aelswith is trying to make Alfred see that it is wrong because being guided (SO RELYING) by a pagan means straying from God’s rightenous path, but what does Alfred do? He literally defends Uhtred and those are his last few breaths, what has Alfred said to that servant? “I will defend you with my life, […] you are […] England”, and look at Alfred’s final words:
Aelswith: Why are the Danes forever at our door? Because we are being punished, Lord, for the presence of this heathen.
Alfred: He is for England.
Aelswith: He is an outlaw.
Alfred: My England... my love.
Alfred basically dies defending Uhtred and while “My England” could be interpreted as him thinking about the actual country, the whole conversation and the whole parallels both between 1x03 and 2x03, so with the knowledge that to him Uhtred is England, I DON’T KNOW I JUST CAN’T HELP BUT THINK “HMM YOU KNOW WHAT, PERHAPS HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT ENGLAND ENGLAND”
As you have probably understood, I believe that the moment when Alfred confessed his feelings for Uhtred was in 2x06 and he literally confessed them to Aelswith, so at beginning of S3 she has been knowing it for years.
Now let’s see all of S3 from Aelswith’s point of view. In this season her beloved husband is dying and she's painfully aware he is, even more after Alfred confirms it in 3x02. She knows it will happen, thus she tries to stay at his side as much as possible because Aelswith loved Alfred so much and despite everything (cough cough despite his cheating cough cough), then at some point she witnesses her husband's life be put in danger when he is taken as a hostage by the same man she knows he has feelings for. That man escapes and her husband is abandoned by him and, instead of seeing the anger he's showing to everyone, she sees how broken he is because of that, because she knows that Uhtred did not only break his oath but wholeheartedly broke Alfred’s heart. She has to witness not only her husband’s suffering because of his illness, but also the pain he feels because that man he loves has left him. The nearer her husband gets to his death, the nearer she notices the way he wants to forgive that same man who has made him suffer for years now (s3 starts in 891/892 and Alfred’s death happens in 899), then right before her husband’s passing she finds them together in his study, completely alone. She tries to make her husband reason (indirectly even trying to remind him of how much pain he went through because of him) but instead her husband orders her to leave, she probably hasn’t even seen Uhtred return from the room until late in the evening. Her husband dies not long after and she’s hurt because she has lost the man she's stood by and loved for most of her life, but in all of this… Who’s the one who left her husband? Who’s the one who broke his heart? Who’s the one who in a way could have worsed his condition because of the mental pain he had to go through because of him? Uhtred. So she imprisons Uhtred, threatens to kill him, but then accepts to just exile him, but then, in front of the whole of Winchester, Uhtred gives an entire speech about his relationship with her husband arriving to a point in which he even says that he loved Alfred. This is worsened by the fact that, in her last conversation with him, Alfred was going against her just to defend him.
Aelswith’s anger towards Uhtred is the most understandable reaction ever.
A very interesting scene to me, with the knowledge that Aelswith has this insight of Alfred’s feelings for Uhtred, is the scene where she prays in 3x08, because... THE THINGS SHE SAYS!!
Lord God, give me strength and guidance to do your work. If it is right and proper to rely upon a heathen, albeit for violence, then I beg you... show me a sign. Help me. I want my son to remain untarnished by heathen ways. I wish him to be God's king. Pure.
Here she’s praying for Edward in the prospect of a possible connection to Uhtred in case the latter becomes his oathman once he’s king, but it is the last part of the whole prayer that is fascinating, because in this moment she says what a king is if he’s connected to him and, therefore, the reference to Alfred is undeniable: the king had to be “untarnished by heathen ways” so that he could be “God’s king” and “pure”.
Alfred was connected to Uhtred so he was tarnished by heathen ways, he was not God’s king and he was not pure, all because of it.
Alfred eveasdropped this whole thing and when Aelswith noticed him, they both understood exactly what she was truly talking about and the expression on Alfred’s face was one of someone who actually believed those things about himself as well, and indeed you see that a lot in S3 when he shows more than once that he’s scared that he won’t end up in heaven. In 2x06 there's also another hint at that when he says “I am reaching out for an England, all in the name of God, yet I am relying upon the strength of a heathen, the iron of a pagan”, and when Aelswith tells him “You are God's king, lord" his answer is "Yet at my right hand is a pagan”.
Alfred has always been terrified at the possibility of not ending up in heaven because of what he had with Uhtred, but despite all of that he's always defended him and saved his life multiple times, just as Uhtred did with him.
Since Uhtred arrived in Wessex he has risked death more than once in every season, and Alfred has always tried to find a way to save his life:
1x03, Ubba offered Alfred a peace for silver and Uhtred’s head, Alfred refused and told him that he would have returned to the sword if he didn’t accept only to be paid.
1x05, Uhtred unleashed a sword in front of Alfred during prayers, while screaming at him in front of many people of Winchester. That’s a crime that is supposed to be punished with death, Alfred made him crawl instead.
1x06/1x07, Uhtred, claiming to do Alfred’s business, plundered Cornwall and sided with a Dane against a christian king, Alfred was supposed to kill him immediately, even more when Uhtred, supposed to beg for forgiveness, decided to scream in his face that he would never kneel neither to him nor to his God, but instead Alfred accepted Leofric’s proposal of a fight to the death so that “God would decide”, that means he left the possibility of Uhtred’s survival, even more because he chose the exact day for that fight to happen, which, casually, was on the day of a saint he liked a lot, and indeed the day after he called Uhtred and told him that he didn't like the thought of someone dying on that day. He tried to save him by offering him the option of giving everything back and resuming the debt (since it was with the plunder that he paid it), but Uhtred didn’t want to leave Iseult, so he refused.
2x03, he sent Ragnar to rescue Uhtred from slavery.
3x02, first, he was most likely going to forgive Uhtred for desecrating the cemetery; second, he should have senteced Uhtred to death for killing a monk in front of the whole witan and then escaping (thus worsening his actions), but instead he asked for an oath and spared his life; third, after he threatened his life Alfred did order for him to be killed, but as soon as he escaped he simply banished him from Wessex, he could have made someone follow him, but he didn’t.
3x05, Uhtred was an outlaw, while he was in Mercia Alfred could have still had him killed, since at the end of the day he was one of his enemies, but instead he used the excuse of him having Aethelflaed’s protection. Alfred could have killed him and no one would have said anything about it, but he did not.
3x08/3x09 Uhtred was still an outlaw here and Alfred claimed before that he would have killed him if stepped foot into Wessex, but he did not, instead he even assured his protection for when he knew he wouldn’t have been alive anymore to protect him.
Now, I feel like Alfred has a sort of codependency when it comes to Uhtred. That man constantly wants him next to him and he almost needs him to be there, the fact itself that in 2x05 Odda mentions that Alfred always says the same thing about Uhtred’s hall in Coccham “every time we visit”, hints at them being there quite ofter and there was only a 3 years time jump between the first and second half of S2, so Uhtred has had those lands for 3 years, probably even less, so… Exactly how many times have you visited this man in 3 years, Alfred? But, whether there's actually an element of codependency or not, there's certainly something that pulls them together, and indeed it is explicitly said that Uhtred and Alfred are “bonded" and that for that fact alone they can't kill each other even when they should.
In 3×09 Alfred points a sword to Uhtred's throat and asks him if he believes he could kill him, and to that Uhtred answers “we are bonded, you cannot kill me just as I cannot kill you”, and it’s really fascinating because there's a parallel between that scene and the scene in 5x07 when Uhtred and Brida are fighting and, when she tells him to kill her, he screams at her that they “are bound as one, killing you would be like killing a part of myself”, and Brida and Uhtred were romantically involved.
My point is that it is for this exact reason that Alfred was never able to look at Uhtred and excute him as he was supposed to do so many times, even the only time it very nearly happened (1x07) he left before he could see it, and whenever Uhtred was hit by Leofric during the fight, if you look specifically at Alfred, it almost seems as if he couldn't breathe, so you know there’s a kind of “without you I would be lost and I wouldn’t be myself anymore” for the both of them, and you can see that especially in the one who had to live further when the other actually died: Uhtred.
Uhtred very much always clings onto a few things and people, but the more he loses those he cares for the most, the more he loses himself. S3 is truly the start of Uhtred’s sort of radical change, indeed the man in SKMD is almost nothing like the man in S1, and what made it possible was that season.
In S3 Uhtred faces many losses: first he loses Gisela, so literally the love of his life (she was and I will die on that hill), second his brother Ragnar, then he loses Alfred, and not even a few days after his sister Thyra dies.
Gisela’s death has started Uhtred’s fall, and since he got cursed and was, very understandbly, in so much pain, everything escalated very quickly.
He killed Godwin to defend Gisela’s honour and he was obviously hurt by what he perceived as Alfred’s disinterest in defending Gisela, as he himself in 3x04 complains about in a very hurt way that Alfred “allowed her to be called a whore” (even though Alfred did try to make Godwin stop, but Uhtred simply couldn’t hear it because he was too enraged), therefore he betrays him and then subsequentially feels absolutely so guilty about it that he arrives to the point where Leofric, as the personification of his conscience, lets us know that he believed he deserved to died because of what he did to Alfred. As soon as the first occasion arises (Aethelflaed is in danger) he immediately leaves, which you can see was already on his mind as soon as Brida suggested him destroying Alfred, thus he abandons his brother. He then finds out that Ragnar died and he thinks it’s his fault because he left him (though there could have probably been little he could have done to prevent it even if he stayed there), then he suddenly meets Alfred again and he sees how much he's hated by him, or so Uhtred believes, so he falls in an even worse emotional state than before. After some time, Beocca asks him to meet Alfred and Uhtred himself wonders “what makes you think he would speak with me?”, which just shows how much he truly thought that Alfred despised him, but he goes to meet him anyway and he speaks to him. For the first time since they have met they are honest to each other and Alfred shows him actual trust and even love in a way, but then Alfred dies not even a week after (probably the day after they talked actually), so even if they were finally at peace with each other, Alfred still died and they had no way to enjoy that tranquility.
Now all of this took a very obvious emotional toll on Uhtred and I believe that Alfred is one of the biggest because he knew that he going to die, and yet, because of Skade's curse as Uhtred believed it to be, he wasted those final years they could have had together. That man meant a lot to Uhtred and in the books there's this quote that always gets me:
I stood beside Alfred’s coffin and thought how life slipped by, and how, for nearly all my life, Alfred had been there like a great landmark.
And that’s so terribly true because, compared to all the deaths before, it is important to notice that Alfred was the one who was there the most, more than Gisela and even more than Ragnar himself, since the latter left for Ireland right before Uhtred became Earl Ragnar’s son. Indeed when Alfred dies you can immediately see a change in demanor in Uhtred, which is striking because compared to many other deaths he went through, Uhtred remains silent in face of many things, for example during Alfred’s funeral he's imprisoned but doesn’t say a word, the only time he utters something is to tell Finan to do nothing. S1 Uhtred would have never reacted in such a way.
Still in prison, you can see that he goes near a very dangerous edge when he finds out that Thyra died, and that edge is finally overstepped in 4x03 with Beocca’s death, and it is from this death onwards that Uhtred is a completely different person. The process started with Gisela's death, culminated with Alfred’s and exploded with Beocca’s.
As I said Uhtred always clings to people and Uhtred has always been sort of in denial for Alfred’s death. He always dismissed the actual possibility of him dying, even when he himself noticed the signs, even when Alfred himself told him that he was about to and yet that man was still there like “Skade preys on men's fears, Lord”, says the man who at that time believed every single word she said. The thing is that I believe Uhtred remained in denial even after Alfred died, because yes he was with his God, but there was a part of Alfred that still lived: his dream.
From Alfred's death onwards, Uhtred works both directly and indirectly for the dream of an England, indeed he actually proves his loyalty to that man more after he died than when he was alive, and that has a lot to do with the fact that it was the last connection he had with him, as in a way it was also for Aelswith if you think about it, but also there was the aspect that, before dying, Alfred entrusted it in his hands and, since Uhtred spent the whole of S3 considering himself a traitor and blaming himself for it, if that man shows you one last trust, a trust you have yearned for your whole life, even more with the thing you know is most precious to him, what do you do? You are willing to do anything you can to make sure that that dream happens, to make sure that you can prove your loyalty, to show that you can keep one last oath to him and make it up for the one you broke.
That is painfully obvious in the film.
In the film Uhtred has made Northumbria an unified place, and it is actually the first time the whole of it is under one single king (even if Uhtred doesn’t call himself that), which was what Alfred has wanted all along, because he knew that the main problem would have been that particular kingdom, so with this action Uhtred has paved the way for the upcoming unification of England.
In 3x09 Alfred told him that his last act as king was to make sure that good men held power and that's one of the main things Uhtred was doing. Uhtred has known Alfred for 28 years of his life, he spent countless times with him, so he knew what Alfred would have wanted and every single decision he took in the film was so obviously made with the thought in mind of Alfred's wishes, and indeed Uhtred held the reins until he knew there was someone fitting to rule, a good man, just as his king would have wanted.
One of the most beautiful things to me is that Uhtred was lord of Bebbanburg at the time, so lord of the fortress he has waited his whole life to get back to, and yet he was mostly and more concerned about Alfred’s dream dying rather than the survival of that. Uhtred was also in a situation where he didn’t want to fight anymore, he didn’t even particularly believed he was still a warrior, and yet as soon as that dream was threatened, he didn’t hesitate once. That man was even forbidden to take part of the battle, since it would have been too dangerous for him, but he didn’t trust anyone else to protect Alfred’s dream and thus Uhtred went and died for it.
That man would have never died if he listened to Aethelstan's commands, but he defied them to not betray the little trust Alfred put in him right before he passed.
When he went back to Bebbanburg he didn’t even allow himself to die until he knew that there was an England out there and that Alfred’s lineage was on the throne of it, and during that scene he says that all he wanted was to be honoured in valhalla for “standing by an oath”, which yes can be interpreted as the oath of protecting Aethelstan, but remember that in S3, in Uhtred's mind, he did the most terrible thing of them all by breaking his oath to Alfred. Making England happen was the only way he could have forgiven himself for it, absolutely striking is the moment when the dream is fulfilled and you can how Uhtred is on the verge of tears and I think that has to do with two main reasons: first, he knew that with that Alfred would have finally known and understood how he could have never have betrayed him, and second, Alfred’s work was finished and there was nothing that kept him alive in his mind anymore.
Uhtred died soon after that so, in my mind, he totally met Alfred again at some point. In the show, for Thyra who was in a situation where she still believed in valhalla but was actually a christian, it was accepted the view of being in both places, therefore it is most likely the same for Uhtred, you know, a whole concept of peace rather than an actual place.
Dying for England is the most obvious declaration of love from Uhtred’s part, but if we want to point out actual words, Uhtred in 3x10 says that Alfred was “a man I loved and despised”, and he even calls him “my king”, which is something Uhtred will never do again for anyone. For the other kings he always just refers to them as “our”, therefore he speaks for his people and not for himself, but for Alfred? Oh, that’s a “my”.
For Alfred the thing was different because the man was a christian with so much guilt inside, it would have been way more difficult for him to say out loud that he loved Uhtred.
I do believe though that he did say it in subtext when he told him that “I should have closed my eyes and rattled at Heaven’s gate some time ago, it was the hope of this meeting that has kept me alive”, which is a lot, considering that the man was suffering like hell because of his illness, and yet he held onto life just for the purpose of seeing Uhtred one last time. It is also very interesting that on his deathbed he asked Uhtred “are you here or is it my sickness?”, because it hints at the possibility of Alfred having hallucinatione of Uhtred in the past when he was ill and WHY WOULD YOU EVER SEE SOME MAN WHEN YOU FEEL UNWELL? AND ESPECIALLY WHY ARE YOU NOT EVEN SURPRISED THAT YOUR MIND COULD HAVE CONJURED UHTRED COMING TO YOUR CHAMBERS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? There’s only one answer to that:
You are gay for that man and you are in love with him.
They both were.
So anon, the answer to your question is: Yes, I do believe that they had feelings for each other.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk!
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wundrousarts · 1 year ago
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Mini Silverborn Countdown
If you’ve been around for a few years, you’ve seen me vaguely mention a “Silverborn Countdown Challenge” several times. It’s been delayed and changed as many times as the book itself, lol.
If anyone wants sort of a low-stakes, very chill and spaced out version of this ye olde never tackled challenge to complete in the next year before Silverborn, I propose what I’m doing:
Every 3 months leading up to the initial release, I am creating one thing based on each of the books.
January — Nevermoor
April — Wundersmith
July — Hollowpox
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hoshiina · 11 months ago
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pairing: kuroda yukinari x gn!reader (no prns)
summary: he was always just watching from afar
warnings: none :)
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He was always watching from afar. He would watch the way you would always say you were tired, but you'd be paying full attention every class. He noticed how you would genuinely be interested in class when you enjoyed the subject, but when you didn’t you’d subconsciously frown at the work given. 
When he was practicing afterschool, sometimes he’d see you walk out of school a little too late and he’d realize you were studying in the library again. He would usually just watch, but today he just really wanted to talk to you. Maybe he was feeling particularly lonely that day after you had a seating change and you sat even further away from him than before. Whatever it was, he was feeling rather impulsive today.
“Sorry, I’m going to go ride outside for a bit,” he told his teammates and rolled his road racer outside. Little did he know, most members of the team knew about his little crush, especially the third years. It was a little too obvious to not notice, because every time you were in his line of vision, he was looking at you. They had hardly ever seen the two of you talk, but all they could hope for was all the best for their vice-captain— he was always looking at you with the sweetest gaze ever.
And for the first time ever, he was stepping forward
“Okay, take your time,” Izumida said.
“Hm? Oh, thanks,” Kuroda said, unaware of what Izumida had meant.
Oh, would he just end up just walking past you again? He wanted to talk to you, but what would he say? Immediately, he knew he would probably end up just watching you from afar, unable to say anything. He sighed at the thought of that.
But to his surprise, you turned to look at him. Okay, now what does he do? What does he say?
“Oh, Kuroda!” you said, taking your earbuds out. Gosh, he loved that about you. You were probably only going to talk for a bit, there was no reason for you to put them away. Yet, at the same time, he was somewhat surprised you knew his name— you were in the same class, of course you did. Maybe he was surprised to hear you say it, rather. “Are you off to practice now?”
“Oh, yes. I’m in the road racing club... which is probably obvious now,” he said, frantically. Gosh, he was making a fool of himself, you didn’t even ask! He was just so flustered, the words weren’t coming out right.
“Of course, I know!” you said. “How would I not know Mr. Vice-Captain of our school’s pride and joy road race team! Do you have a race soon?”
“I do. Quite soon actually... on Saturday,” he said, mind blank. He was just going to answer your questions now he wasn’t capable of much more, he realized.
“Saturday! I really shouldn’t hold you up then,” you said and he scolded himself for saying that. He would’ve rather talked to you for a little longer and practiced all through the night if he had to. “Where and when is it?”
“Just up the Hakone mountain,” he said, surprised. It’s one thing to ask where, but to ask when? He was going to start having some false hope. “In the morning, at around 9.”
“Would it be weird if I show up?” you asked, a little less energetic than before, almost as though you were afraid he’d tell you not to come.
“No, not at all,” he said, a little too quickly. “...Please do.”
Immediately, your face glowed up the way he loved to see it. He could not believe you were talking to him right now.
“Then, I will definitely be there,” you said. “I’ll let you go for real now, I want to see you win that race.”
“Oh, crap, I forgot my water I’ll need to go back to get it. I’ll see you,” he said. “Thank you.”
“See you!” you said and walked off, putting your earbuds back in.
He didn’t lie, he only had one bottle when he usually carried two, but usually he’d just go on and buy something at a vending machine. However, he knew his ears were red and the last thing he wanted was for you to see. He walked back in and no one questioned how quickly he was back, (because they were all watching) which he found weird, but that was the least of his worries.
“How did it go?” Izumida asked. 
“Oh, I haven’t gone yet,” Kuroda said. “I realized I forgot a water bottle.”
“No, not that,” Izumida said, finally tired of playing dumb.
“What?” he asked, then looked around and saw that quite a few more people were looking at him, eagerly waiting for him to go on. “Were you all watching??” He felt even more embarrassed than before if that was possible. 
“(L/n)’s coming... on Saturday,” he said quietly, covering his face with his hand, hoping they wouldn’t see how red it was. 
“Oh, you really have to win now~” Manami said, and that made Kuroda smile.
“Yeah, I really do.”
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robotpanties · 8 months ago
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uuuuuhhh no reason just wanna see the robot get preggers because nobody is really taking advantage of the narrative consequences of the robots of ULTRAKILL having fleshy bits inside them (in my humble opinion hahahaha...hahaha....hah....). Anywhosen also a sucker for general Bad End especially when it involves a psycho-sexual (breeding) binding to a greater entity but also I wanna see the murder-robot get knocked up. And the galaxy brain bit of this is instead of calming down they just get Worse.
YEAH NO ONE REALLY TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THAT. and well i mostly assumed a very small percentage of people actually want to breed the robots like that which is why.
also i don't think this as a bad end, but a bad path that can lead to some other.. inch resting things (my stupid ass is trying to craft a plot with horror and drama from this path and how it'd change the story slightly despite knowing I will never get around to writing it in fic form except tiny excerpt ideas and art)
also i have so much to say abt the 'it doesn't calm down it just gets worse' bc its So true
#kicking my legs. it sooo genuinely gets worse i think it believes its actually in “love” with hell. and maybe it is.#gets worse and loses itself more and more. abandon any last trace of identity that had never been regarded anyway by anyone#its easy to let something guide you and instruct you in nearly everything if it feels too painfully good? and why spend more power thinking#altho for the. plot i was conducting in my head it was msotly involving gabriel and the primes bc of an idea my friend gave me which was#that if this occurred before v1 reached the prime sanctums it could have been guided or instructed to go to the sanctums but at the time#it does its currently carrying a child and because of that both the primes and v1 itself are spared because. i dont know if i think#the kings would fight a pregnant person . i at least think sisyphus Wouldnt because wheres the fun in an opponent who appears to already#be disadvantaged. (even if it can fare just fine.)#if any friendships were able to be made (cough . i like sisyphus qnd v1 platonic and romantic) itd be kind of. sad from an outside perspect#ve to watch it deteriorate into being less of its own entity and becoming slowly just another extension of hell. even in fighting it shows.#i wish i could explain it all better#and sorry if this ask is late to be answered i was writing my rwsponse at a con LMAOOO#.txt#ask#i want to write i have no timeee no energyyy but hear me out there is potential for crazy wackjob shit#ive decided also not to kill gabriel i think i should do somethign fucked up with him and his inexperience in relationshios#i forgot who suggested he should get so desperate that he begs for hell to take him as well. (which i cant decide if it would or wouldnt bc#its kind of really funny and mean if it#says no)
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mazojo · 8 months ago
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Colin in his men era
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insane-in-the-membranee · 11 months ago
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💌 send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart
desiblr: @tired-yashika-core <3
I haven't really interacted with a lot of people here but all my mutuals seem so nice and I love their blogs so
@willothecrisps @withloveleclerc (deactivated TwT) @intellectual6666 @scentedunknowngarden/@tired-yashika-core @shyam-kariya @moonhymnss @nia-academia @fikaeeshtales @numpypandas @khudkifavourite/@geethere @serafina-nyx @themoonadmirer
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ilovemylawyer · 4 months ago
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i love the EVIL part of EVILIVE btw. i find fucked up, unnameable unobtainable obsessive life-ending love extremely romantic and delicious. it’s the way things are in the evilive world! things are messy! and bad! and i love it! i (at least currently!!!) do not plan on writing anything pure fluff happiness because that is not something that i wish to extract from this show.. it isn’t there! i have no interest in erasing these harsh realities of evilive in my fics. happy lalala is not fun for me to write, and i won’t do it without a heavy underlying feeling of uneasiness and uncertainty and dread and despair and inevitable death. i like pain :/ and half of this couple is one of the most greedy selfish motherfuckers i have ever come to know and he’s oh so beautiful. so i am sorry if you finished evilive and wanted some kind of fix-it happy gays but i am NOTTTTTTTT the guy for that.
#ilml#idk.#lol.#sorry feeling a little defensive this sunday evening!#reqs are open indefinitely and if you need some kind of fix all you have to do is ask :]#but i will not write anyone from this show (intentionally) OOC because i respect them too much as human beings from my TV show.#from my little kdrama that takes up a huge portion of my brain.#my reason for writing at all for evilive is to explore aspects of it that we didn’t get to see on screen#anyways whatever sorry please be gentle with me ❤️#i am just a serious and passionate guy writing about a crime noir#it’s a tragic lovestory and i am not inclined to turn it into a kissing loving understanding relationship#like srsly han dongsoo? u know him yes? he wouldn’t be down for all that#he’s hetmarried in case we forgot#SORRY im so 😵‍💫. but please god be gentle with me. i am baring my soul to you through my writing and i need it to be handled with care#if you wish that evilive was nice and happy you could make it that way! but i will not!#maybe someone else already has/will!#but ILML (me!) is into evilness. i like weird evil lawyers who are evil and bad. and i have no desire to turn evil lawyers nonevil#and i have no desire to take away the joys of violence and power from the other half either#and idk how many of my readers are weird/offputting queer men who have been helplessly in love with a straight guy#but it is no easy event… it is no simple doing… it can perhaps even be an EVIL thing…#STRAIGHT UP RAMBLING AT THIS POINT. APOLOGIES!#<- guy who might be a little sensitive and need your understanding
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kieumy · 2 years ago
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hey! Hope you’re having a good day and are ready for some more H content! I was wondering if you have any blogs you recommend? Or maybe you’ve done a blog rec post before? 🤔
hiiiiii!!! it’s been okay, had a nap and had multiple dreams about louis which truly says a lot about me ajahsjsksksjsj. i’m so happy to see him again, i’m always like ‘he needs to take a break and disappear’ and then he does and i miss him hahaha
i’ve done a couple but we can always do more, can’t we?
@tommos @uwulouis @louisgrayhairs @louisgayvodka @braverytattoos @nouisforlife @itsworthitallthistime @footy-met-mussy @alphalouis @greeneyesfriedrice @complictedfreak @hlkings @toxiclarrie @whatifai @trolou @anxiouslarrie @loswuandis @walkinginsunflowers @quickpauseinconversations @anxiouspunk @harrylights @wecantalktomorrow @28goldens @finexbright @enchantedlandcoffee @voulezloux @writtenalloveryourface28 @delicatepointofview @jortslinson @bciwasinlove @stylinsuns @larrrystrong @pop-punklouis @faithinthefuture-louis @heartshaped-lou @alloutime @nothing-stays-the-same @zouisflirts @tomlinson369 @princeofyorkshire @harryshandbag @aestheticlarrie @itsnotreal @fivescrews @medicinehrry @yorkshirelarrie @holyshit
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demodoggonetired · 1 year ago
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Steve walks into their shared apartment to a scene of Eddie face down on their surprisingly plush, thrifted sofa. Various campaign notebooks, sketches, and dnd guides left to spill out his bag onto the floor. 
"I'm home!" 
The only response is a tepid "hHh." as Eddie further burrows his face between the cushions and backrest of the couch. 
Setting aside his bag and keys, Steve strides over to his boyfriend. 
"What's that all about?"
The huddled form emits another "hn." 
"Is that so?" 
"mm."
He takes a seat beside Eddie’s head. Runs a soothing hand along the other’s shoulders, fingers splayed wide. Applies pressure with the heel of his palm. 
Eddie melts further, this time with a minor release of tension. The presence of the other already a balm in itself. 
“Does that mean game day ended badly?” 
Still mostly curled ridged and with as little motion as possible, Eddie shakes his head negative. 
“No?” Steve asks, incredulous. “So then your 9-hour ‘Super, Ultimat-‘ uh… shit… ‘Super. Ultra. Perfect-‘“
“sumpoe.” Eddie corrects punitively into the cushion.
“Sorry, so then your 9-hour ‘Super, Ultra, Mega, Perfect, One-Shot Extravaganza’ went off exactly as you wanted. And then instead of napping in our comfortable bed--that you’d insisted on slathering in pillows because you, and I quote, ‘Wanted to feel like you were being smothered by geese and also just like the jumbles of texture’--you chose to stay out on the couch? Do I have that right?”
“mhm. too bright. couldn’t make it.”
Steve glances at the bay window adorning their living room-kitchen area. Thankfully, enough time seems to have passed since Eddie returned home. The sun now set, the room awashed in its final red hues. 
Even still, as Steve manages to coax him to turn over onto his back, Eddie’s face remains tense. With a sneaking suspicion, Steve smooths out the wrinkle in Eddie’s brow and prompts further, “Yeah? Anything else?”
“head hurts. stomach. nauseous.”
Yea, exactly as he figured. 
“Babe, did you eat anything today? During the 9 hours y’all were at the table?”
“was distracted.”
Steve sighs then gives a reprimanding pinch to Eddie’s cheek. Not hard. He has some mercy for his ailing boyfriend.
Said boyfriend retaliates with a half-hearted, protesting squawk and grabs the offending hand, cuddling into it and biting Steve’s pinky finger. 
Steve lets it happen. 
Instead he choses to stare into the kitchen, subconsciously rubbing small circles into Eddie’s temple even as he’s nibbled. Thinks over what supplies and lighter foods they currently have. 
Half to himself, he comments “I think we still have some saltines left from Robin’s Soup Experiments last week. That should help soak up the stomach acid and get something in your stomach.” He looks back at Eddie laid across the cushions. “You can take some pain meds after that if you want.”
“mkay.”
Steve goes to stand, except-
“Eds, you’ll have to stop biting my hand if you want me to go get the crackers.”
“nope. mine now.” Another, harder bite is given to the digit. 
“Hey- Ow, ow, Eddie, Eds, stop.” A responding, equally harder pinch but this time to Eddie’s nose, lifting up and extricating his finger as he does so. 
“haaa- cheater. appreciate my love bites.”  
With a snort, Steve walks towards the kitchen and begins to collect his well-used, headache-relieving arsenal.
- - -
Later, after saltines and buttered pasta have been eaten and hot towels have cooled, the two lay cuddled in their indeed comfortable and pillow laden bed. Strong, dexterous fingers card through the other’s curls. Gentle nails along the scalp to chase away any lingering pain. 
“Thanks, Stevie. You’re a true lifesaver.” He snuggles into Steve’s chest just that little bit further. “My brain and stomach would have exploded without your care.”
“Well we can’t have that, you need those.”
“Then I’d never be able to DM another Sumpoe day for the group again.” Eddie untucks his head just enough to look at Steve imploringly. “Then you’d have to inherit the job of Dungeon Master as my next of kin and they’d Eat. You. Alive, Stevie!”
“Damn. Guess I better get to studying then, just in case.” The sarcasm drips off in waves.
Not one to be deterred, Eddie sits up and over Steve in a flash. Eyes sparkling with mischief and new ideas as his hands come up on either side of Steve’s face and grab into his jawbone. The hand that was running through Eddie’s hair now dislodged to his shoulder.
“Steve, Stevie-love, Bunny-bear, you’re so, so right. You need to be my DM assistant for our next one shot.” 
Matching his level of dramatics, Steve presses back into his designated pillow and drapes a hand across his forehead.
“Noooo. Don’t make me do it, I’ll be the one to pass away. I can’t keep up with all your funny little lizard voices.”
“But Stevieeee,” Eddie whines. He leans down so he’s level with Steve’s ear, feels the other shiver as he breathes out before adopting one of his ‘funny little lizard voices’ “I wants it!!”
Caught off-guard, Steve breaks, laughing as he flips them. “You’re such a nerd.”
Maintaining his kobold voice and batting his lashes, “But Stevie, I’m your little lizard nerd.”
“Hmm and damned if that doesn’t make me the lucky one.”
And should the next time Eddie hosts another Sumpoe, he happens to find a perfectly packed lunch with tidbits of all his favorite snacks, well then Steve’s just not ready to accept that inheritance yet.
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slamrink · 2 months ago
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klay 0 points but he looked sexygorgeous doing it + lockdown defense + mavs WIN and dubs clinch so im leaving here with something 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
#nba#klay thompson#dallas mavericks#mavs lb#love when he makes shots but ive shrimply accepted that it is now a somewhat rare occurence which is understandable tbh given age/injuries#they could never make me hate u king#not even if u go 0/100 i srsly dgaf ur face card + beautiful soul more than make up for it i promise#freddie mercury voice#I look ... and i fiind ... I still love youuu#that said I really think people are not giving him enough grace or credit for all the positive ways he impacts the game#like he has set such an impossibly high standard for himself by literally becoming thee singular second greatest shooter OAT so#imo its pretty unreasonable for fans to demand him to put up prime klay numbers nightly when this team doesn't even need him to do that#to be able to win which is actually a good thing !!! not to be a +/- watcher but him just being on the floor opens up so much space for#everyone else because defenders will swarm him no matter what and he knows this because he is very smart !!!#I just have so much love in my heart for him and it physically hurts me to see anyone speak negatively about him after everything#that he's overcome and how critical he is of himself :( I just want him to feel loved :((#guys this is so stupid i don't even KNOW him and he still occupies a fairly large portion of my brain and heart 24/7 it's so badddd#steph and klay were my whole entire childhood and then i forgot about them for the year they were injured and then I remembered them again#after which they found their way back to each other and won the whole fucking thing !!! that's the shit of romcoms bitch !!!#and even if they really won't ever share a backcourt again (which pains me to even type out ew) I'll still love both of them#unconditionally i fear#and also forever#how can you not be romantic about basketball baby!!!#steph/klay#if you read all of this first of all im so sorry and thank you too lol :)
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mummer · 2 months ago
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more like juror #7…… out of 10!
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