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#anyways whatever sorry please be gentle with me ❤️
ilovemylawyer · 14 days
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i love the EVIL part of EVILIVE btw. i find fucked up, unnameable unobtainable obsessive life-ending love extremely romantic and delicious. it’s the way things are in the evilive world! things are messy! and bad! and i love it! i (at least currently!!!) do not plan on writing anything pure fluff happiness because that is not something that i wish to extract from this show.. it isn’t there! i have no interest in erasing these harsh realities of evilive in my fics. happy lalala is not fun for me to write, and i won’t do it without a heavy underlying feeling of uneasiness and uncertainty and dread and despair and inevitable death. i like pain :/ and half of this couple is one of the most greedy selfish motherfuckers i have ever come to know and he’s oh so beautiful. so i am sorry if you finished evilive and wanted some kind of fix-it happy gays but i am NOTTTTTTTT the guy for that.
#ilml#idk.#lol.#sorry feeling a little defensive this sunday evening!#reqs are open indefinitely and if you need some kind of fix all you have to do is ask :]#but i will not write anyone from this show (intentionally) OOC because i respect them too much as human beings from my TV show.#from my little kdrama that takes up a huge portion of my brain.#my reason for writing at all for evilive is to explore aspects of it that we didn’t get to see on screen#anyways whatever sorry please be gentle with me ❤️#i am just a serious and passionate guy writing about a crime noir#it’s a tragic lovestory and i am not inclined to turn it into a kissing loving understanding relationship#like srsly han dongsoo? u know him yes? he wouldn’t be down for all that#he’s hetmarried in case we forgot#SORRY im so 😵‍💫. but please god be gentle with me. i am baring my soul to you through my writing and i need it to be handled with care#if you wish that evilive was nice and happy you could make it that way! but i will not!#maybe someone else already has/will!#but ILML (me!) is into evilness. i like weird evil lawyers who are evil and bad. and i have no desire to turn evil lawyers nonevil#and i have no desire to take away the joys of violence and power from the other half either#and idk how many of my readers are weird/offputting queer men who have been helplessly in love with a straight guy#but it is no easy event… it is no simple doing… it can perhaps even be an EVIL thing…#STRAIGHT UP RAMBLING AT THIS POINT. APOLOGIES!#<- guy who might be a little sensitive and need your understanding
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pinkaditty · 9 months
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Can i pls request some facesitting headcanons for Satan, Mammon, Sitri and leviathan with a fem s!o? Thank you ❤️
hihi this was my first non-anon ask and yes ofc u can!! <3333
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summary: facesitting and pussy eating. how will the men of WHB handle it?
a/n: woohoo i've been excited to do this ask tbh!! like seriously i've really been looking forward to it!!!! the only one i don't know much abt is Mammon buuuuut i do know his personality and idiosyncrasy so im hoping that's enough to characterize him properly!
cw: fem!reader (sorry, the one time i don't do gn... I PROMISE GN NEXT TIME!!), reader has a vagina, facesitting, pussy eating, suffocating (leviathan), cardiophilia (Sitri), pygophilia (Mammon), spanking (Satan), male whimpering, masturbation, and lots of tongue usage. NOT PROOFREAD!
MINORS DNI AS USUAL!!!!! PLEASE RESPECT MY BOUNDARY! THANK YOU!
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Satan:
well. he does like spanking!
he won't say no to you sitting on his face ofc that's whatever, as long as he gets to spank your ass while he does it.
he especially doesn't care which way you're facing, because either way, there's an ass close enough for spanking. good enough for him.
will definitely just roughly massage and spank your asscheeks while he makes quick work of you with his tongue.
don't really know why but i think he's totally masterful at it.
knows exactly where your sweet spots are in seconds and abuses tf out of them.
pays especially close attention to the clit, and he's the most gentle with his tongue there. he doesn't mind spanking you, but he doesn't want to hurt you, especially not your sensitive areas. he won't mind if his nails leave a few marks, though.
he won't really stop until he's satisfied. you can't pull yourself off of him because you're not beating him in the strength department.
sorta thrusts his hips up into the air as he eats you out. gets painfully hard really quickly.
His nails, sharp as claws, dig into the skin of your ass, leaving deep bruises and small cuts. You groan painfully, curling your hands into fists and twitching at the sensation. You reach out and pull on his hair. He only grunts, continuing to draw soft circles around your clit with his tongue, smacking your ass once with his right hand before cupping your cheeks and pulling you closer to him. The sensation of his tongue swirling around your clit is almost enough to distract you from his nails still clawing into your backside. His tongue is gentle and slow, tracing soft circles around the sensitive nub. His pace is consistent; not so slow you'd lose your mind, but not so fast that you'd be overstimulated. He takes his time, even pausing gentle stimulation of your clit to lap at your hole, already dripping juices from how delicious it all felt.
This back and forth continues, at the same constant pace. Every time you reach orgasm, he smacks your ass again and continues on his pace, gently licking soft circles around your hardened clit.
At this pace, you'll hardly be able to take whatever devil energy he can give you.
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Mammon:
well. he's similar to satan in that he likes ass (similar to me too lol).
will probably be doing almost exactly like what Satan's doing, just with less spanking and more groping and general ass appreciation.
will definitely prefer you facing away from him so that he can really be immersed in ass.
he's really slow with it, though. like where satan will put you through multiple in minutes, mammon will give you one every agonizingly long stretch of time filled with not enough pleasure to get you off, but enough to keep you squirming and impatient.
he will find your sensitive spots, but rather than abuse them, he switches between them. he'll take his time getting you off. he's very slow with it, so much so that it almost feels like he's edging you (he sort of is but he's greedy he likes to savor it and take his time. he knows you're already his anyway. why not take his time?)
will lick stripes rather than circles. he will lick your clit directly instead of teasing swipes from a circular motion.
will also dive his tongue between your folds very often, lapping at your juices like a dog does water.
is constantly squeezing, groping, and rubbing his hands all over your ass, simply enamored by it regardless of size.
definitely without a doubt gets hard but probably won't acknowledge it. he's greedy for you, not his pleasure (though he absolutely will be later).
His tongue switches back to your clit, licking slow stripes, pushing the flesh up and down with his tongue. Idly, you wonder how he can keep at this for so long, but such a thought does not last- not when the repeated, slow motions scatter your thoughts with how ridiculously good it feels. You tense up, eagerly stifling your twitching and staying in place, feeling the pleasure build up at last. He keeps going, licking soft stripes up and down your clit, moving his tongue so masterfully rhythmically that barely a sound comes from his technique. You clench and unclench your hands, your eyes spin in your skull, your heartbeat quickens, and your breathing deepens. Surely this was it, surely--!
You feel the telltale motion of his tongue giving one last rough, prolonged stripe to your clit, before he switches back to your waiting hole, diving his tongue inside hungrily and dragging it along your insides, collecting all the juices his greed so desires. You curse, having been so close, and he teasingly squeezes your ass in return. You can feel him smirking into your folds.
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Sitri:
oh boy. ohohooooo boy.
he could care less which way you're facing. what matters is, regardless of the position you take up, your thighs are pressed directly against his ears. he can hear your heartbeat from afar but it's never enough.
will wrap his arms around your thighs to ensure that you stay put and to really press your thighs into his ears. he just cannot get enough of your heartbeat. thump, thump, thump...
is less careful with his fangs than the other demons. absolutely will not hurt nor bite you but when he's tonguing your folds the smooth edges of his teeth may slide against you. not painful.
is not very calculated with his technique but doesn't really need to be with your heartbeat as a dead giveaway. he just laps and laps tirelessly like a parched dog but somehow it hits the good spots.
honestly it's the way he does it that turns you on more than how it feels. how desperate each stroke feels is what really does it.
strokes with his tongue are wide, all-encompassing, and sloppy. he's drooling so much that it only makes you wetter.
buries his face as close as he can so he'll often pull back for air before burying himself again.
eats you out like he's never eaten anything before.
gets hard very quickly and will gently remove his hand from your thigh to jack himself off. does it quietly so you won't notice because he thinks it's embarrassing. eventually his muffled moans into your folds give him away and you just start riding his face. not that he minds.
He just keeps lapping. Like a dog at a water bowl after a long, dry walk. He just doesn't seem to stop. It feels good - almost too good. You writhe and twist, curling your toes from how delicious it feels, but you can't move much; his strong arms still holding you down in place and keeping your thighs hard pressed to either side of his face. He just has to listen to your heartbeat in his ears. He just can't get enough of it, of you. He keeps lapping, his tongue sliding between your folds, gentle but quick, sliding across your hole and just barely tickling your clit before he retracts and licks again. The buildup feels slow, but you've finished before you know it, the gentle tickles of your clit driving you to orgasm. Your whole body shakes and your eyes roll back, and he lets you ride it out, keeping up his gentle strokes against your clit. You shiver as sparks pop behind your eyes, slowly coming down from your high. He squeezes your thighs once more, and breaks away, taking a few deep breaths. The cool air hits your folds and you flinch, twitching just slightly at the sensation. As quickly as he pulled away, he dives back in, dragging his tongue across the length of your labia, gently slipping between to tease what's there. You groan, feeling sensitive, the continued motion making you feel overstimulated. You curl your toes, shifting yourself just slightly, trying your best to bear the overwhelming feeling. It just feels too good, the gentle drag of his tongue, the soft tease of your hole and clit, and the finality of it all before he immediately starts again. You can't take it.
You feel the pressure of his hand of your thigh gently lift. You can't be bothered to pay much attention to that until you hear the soft clink of a belt being undone, and you know what he's doing. You can barely smile in satisfaction due to overstimulation, but you manage, and reach down for his blue silky hair, pulling tightly on it. He moans, and stops lapping, simply holding his mouth open, preparing for you to ride him. He's practically shaking, trembling in silence except for the repeated sound of his hand sliding up and down his length.
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Leviathan:
the less he can breathe, the better.
literally. no if's and's or but's. the less he can breathe the better. surprisingly he's not much into choking you... rather he wants you to choke him.
and he doesn't care how you do it.
so suffocating under you while you take what you need from him, yeah! he is more than on board for that.
prefers you facing forward so you can use his nose to rub your clit on while your folds are spread over his lips, revealing your hole, perfect for him to stick his tongue into while you move back and forth over him.
this way, he can't breathe! and yeah, he gets off to that really fast.
will attempt to hold your hips as you ride him, but may be unable to focus much so he might claw his hands into the sheets.
while he's totally into this, you will have to lift off of him occasionally. but not for very long.
you can watch as his eyes roll back from the relief of finally being able to breathe, his face red as a cherry, his tongue lolled out and covered in your juices.
and then you sit right back down and he can't breathe anymore. but he's not complaining. at all.
he's thrusting his hips upwards, as though he's desperate to feel some friction. he's so into being suffocated, he can't even focus on his own arousal.
won't really touch himself. after your first orgasm or so he's already cum untouched.
for every one orgasm of yours, he's probably had one to three.
You're riding his face like you would a horse, using the chain between his horns as reins, pulling his face deeper into you. He obliges, following your pull ever so obediently, burying himself deeper into your folds. You're moving your hips along his face as fast as you can, his nose providing the perfect stimulation for your clit. You can barely see his eyes peeking over your thighs, but they're there, rolled back in ecstasy. His face is bright red, and he can't breathe. He's clinging to the sheets, gripping them tightly for some semblance of grounding, but he's too far gone.
You're much the same, dizzy and blissful from how good it feels. His nose is gently pressed into you, your clitoris rubbing back and forth over it. His nose supplies just the right amount of pressure, enough to send you over the edge. His open mouth and lolling tongue are perfect for catching your juices and teasing your hole, pressed right against it, and you feel every tremble and every moan. Sometimes he moves his tongue just slightly, circling your hole as you move. It makes you grip the chain harder, putting pressure on his horns, to which he moans rather loudly.
When you finally feel the orgasm coming, the building blissful pressure turning into a peak, your folds twitching with anticipation; you suddenly push the chain away from you, pressing his head into the sheets. Your hips follow him, pressing his face deeper into you and his head deeper into the pillows. His already jerking hips suddenly thrust into to the air, and you hear and feel a strangled moan as he reaches his peak, his whole body quivering as he soils his pants. You press deeper into him as you orgasm yourself, you clit quivering against his nose, your juices spilling into his mouth. For a moment, you stay like that, holding his chains so tightly they leave indents in your skin. Soon you release, letting go of his chains and lifting off of him a little, giving him a chance to breathe. He's twitching, all red in the face, and panting heavily, his mouth wide open, tongue lolling out. You only give him a minute before you sit right back on his face again. He moans, satisfied, and ready for another round.
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a/n: okay so perhaps i got a little carried away with my blatant displays of favoritism. perhaps. but it's not my fault!!!!!!!!! i like them submissive. :(
okok but anyway i hope you all enjoyed woohoo!! one more ask after this, but ill do pervert pt 3 before I answer that ask. anyways, please please please let me know if you all enjoyed it!! leave a comment, do a quick reblog, and submit an ask if you want something written just for you! im happy to write for you! thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate you!
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blitzwhore · 6 months
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Can I get uhhh 48 (kisses to shut them up) from the kiss prompt? And you know it's my favorite owl/imp disaster couple 💖
~stolitzsings 🌌✨️
Thank you for the prompt, @stolitzsings! ❤️ I had already answered it with a doodle here, but I decided to write Stolas shutting up Blitz with a kiss this time... Sort of.
Stolitz | ~950 words | Teen and Up | Angst, hurt/comfort, Blitz is bad at feelings, hurt Blitz, sad Stolas, hopeful ending
On AO3
Blitz's fingers were gentle as they untied the knot holding the blindfold over Stolas’ eyes, keen on not pulling at his feathers accidentally.
Stolas could've undone it himself, of course, but he always preferred having Blitz take care of him, especially after such an intense scene.
As the blindfold fell, Stolas blinked quickly to adjust to the lighting. He'd been instructed to blindfold himself and wait naked in bed for Blitz's arrival this full moon, which had been exhilarating beyond measure, but it did make his eyes hurt now after being blindfolded for so long.
When he was able to look down, he was greeted by the wonderful sight of a naked Blitz, who was trailing his fingers down Stolas’ chest, burying the tips under his feathers to press into his skin. Stolas sighed at the small, grounding touch. His whole body was oversensitive, and trembled under such a careful caress.
Blitz seemed lost in thought as his fingers descended to Stolas’ stomach. It made Stolas a little breathless to be able to share this moment with Blitz, to be seen and felt like this. It was a reaffirmation that this moment was real—that what they had together was tangible, though tentative; that it was soft, and careful, and real.
When he caught Stolas staring, though, something in Blitz's expression broke, and their delicate moment was shattered. The soft-hued awe that had been washing over Blitz's expression turned into a grimace as he looked quickly away.
Blitz made as if to take his hands off Stolas, but Stolas couldn't bear it. He clutched them with his own, needing to keep them selfishly close to himself. A silent prayer, the words too vulnerable to say out loud. Please, let yourself stay in this moment with me.
Desperate to close the emotional distance, he thumbed at Blitz's knuckles, hoping he would look back and meet Stolas’ gaze.
That was when he noticed them.
Wounds and gashes were littered across Blitz's knuckles, his white skin split messily open. And bruises, dark and angry, bloomed underneath. Worried, he tried to touch his finger to a bruise, but Blitz pulled back harshly, holding his hands close to his chest and away from Stolas.
“Blitz—”
“Don't—” he interrupted, brows furrowing. “Just—don't, Stolas.”
It hurt to breathe, but for a much more unpleasant reason now. He couldn't bear to see Blitz like this. So distant. So terrified.
He couldn't bear that, somehow, despite the care and the intimacy and the physical closeness between them, they always inevitably ended up here: the ground split open underneath them, a wedge that just couldn't be bridged.
Stolas sat up on the bed, and Blitz turned away from him, back hunched and legs curled under himself.
“Look, I just—I ran out of bullets on a mission,” Blitz murmured. “Nothing for your feathered ass to worry about, ‘kay?”
Stolas opened his mouth, but… what was there to say? He couldn't comprehend what was going on in Blitz's mind, and to ask, or to attempt to explain how much he did worry, would just drive them further apart. All he could do was ache, and hope if he breathed quietly enough, Blitz wouldn't be scared completely away.
“It's just a few stupid cuts anyway, it's not like it hurts,” Blitz retorted, disdain clear in his voice. Barely audibly, he added, “You weren't supposed to see them.” And hugged himself around the waist, tail curling around his leg.
He looked so painfully, unbearably small.
“Blitz—”
“I'm sorry,” Blitz said brokenly. “I didn't mean to ruin your night. It's whatever. I should just—I should just go.”
Stolas ached.
“I mean, I'm sure you don't care that much anyway. I'm probably being stupid. It's fine. I'm fine. Just text me whenever you're done with the book, and I'll come get it. Or you can swing by if you prefer. Or send it over, if you don't want to see me—”
Stolas couldn't bear it any longer: crawling closer, he rested his hands on Blitz's arms and pressed his beak to Blitz's shoulder in a soft kiss, which thankfully made Blitz go quiet. 
He dragged out the kiss, using the opportunity to breathe Blitz in and bask in the warmth of his skin.
When he eventually pulled back, Blitz looked dangerously close to tears.
Stolas wanted nothing more than to hold Blitz close to himself—to bury him in his chest and not let go until Blitz felt safe.
Instead, knowing Blitz would not allow himself to be so vulnerable around Stolas, he simply cradled Blitz's cheek with a hand, thumbing softly at his cheekbone.
Blitz didn't move away from the touch. Still, he wouldn't look Stolas in the eye, his gaze trained on the bed instead.
It wasn't enough, not nearly so. But it would have to do. If the alternative was for Blitz to push him fully away, then this fragile tolerance of comfort would simply have to do.
That was what Stolas kept telling himself, even if it broke his heart. Even if he didn't know how long he could keep going with just the breadcrumbs of true connection.
Even if he knew, deep down, that he would eventually have to be the one to let go, or this half-happiness, this barely-out-of-reach love, would break him beyond repair.
“Please, stay,” Stolas breathed, hoping it was the right thing to say. “I understand if you'd rather leave, but I—I would rather you stay.”
After a second that lasted an eon, and during which Stolas held his breath and braced for the worst, Blitz closed his eyes and nodded against his palm.
“Okay,” he murmured, taking the shy glint of hope in Stolas’ heart and setting it helplessly ablaze. “I'll stay.”
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poppy-metal · 10 months
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procrastinating like crazy dont tell my bio professor but but i raise to yoy ... upperclassman!jordan who's in some of your classes--who you aren't reaallyy friends w but it's sort of implied that they r there for you bc they always seem to end up coming to ur rescue when creepy guys hit on u at parties 🙄 because your scumbag bf is probably too busy playing beer pong with his bros. it's not like you and jordan go out of ur way to hang out w each other but you know they care about you at least a tiny bit !!
and it just so happens they live in the same building as aforementioned bf. n when you and he get into a fight--a big one, bad enough to leave tears streaming down your cheeks n your hands fisted at your sides--and you just want to get away from him, their door is the one u end up knocking on. sniffling when they open it up, barely having time to open your mouth around a meek "'m sorry." before they're gripping your chin, painstakingly gentle, eyes panicky. "hey- what happened? you're not hurt, are you?" and their tone, the way they touch you, everything--js makes you feel so much better :( hiccuping out "can i come in?" and they aren't gnna say no 🙄
make sure everything's okay, that he didn't hurt you, get you a drink n everything before sitting on the edge of their bed. you pacing, ranting abt dookieface bf between sniffles 😔 all "i just- i don't know who he thinks he is. i know i'm not perfect, whatever, but--i'm nice to him!! i mean, for fuck's sake, i'm pretty cute, too. nd he just- he doesn't care about me. i don't know what i did wrong." jordan mumbling out "hey, c'mere." bc your voice breaks w the last sentence and you're crying all over again :( wrap you up in their arms, hand coming up to hold the back of your neck. "you didn't do anything wrong, freshie. he's just an asshole." n they don't say it but they're fantasizing abt allll the ways they could kill him 🤗
and you pull back, wiping your cheeks w the back of your hand. "don't think he likes me, jordan. he ignores me nd--he's probably cheated on me a million times. it's like i don't mean anything to him--he can't--won't even make me cum." and jordan raises an eyebrow at that one. n you're quick on the defensive, "'s just- i don't know. don't even think he tries." and booy have u piqued their interest. you're just digging yourself a hole, unable to stop ur words from spilling out. "he- he was my first. ever. and it's like that meant nothing to him." taking a step back n mumbling out, "i'm sorry. that was too much, i just... i should probably go, anyways." as if they would ever let you 🙄 especialky after that lil confession.
n you're still close enough that they can grab your hips, pull you back towards them all gentle. "'s that why you came here, hm?" soft smirk on their face at the way you flush, stumbling over your words, your excuses--gripping your chin to shut you up. "shh. he's an asshole, baby, i know." when they stand up and turn you around, hands moving to your waist to sit you on their bed. your big eyes looking up at them, your shaky little voice when you whisper out, "jordan..." them pushing your legs apart so they can step between them :( grabbing at your thighs, leaning in so you can feel their hot breath on your ear when they whisper, "what is it, little girl? need me to make you cum, hm?" nddd you know it's wrong but you r nodding :( a little bit frantically :( and zoo wee mama are you in for it!! bc they csll jordan pussy destroyer for a reason!!!
too dleepy to proofread anf also my demons possessed me and. couldnt fight them off but ❤️❤️ love u poppy!!
-🦸‍♀️
grabs u by the shoulders and shakes u
breath catching n tears teetering on your lashes your mouth dropping in a perfect O when jordan pushes your thighs apart. their ringed hands sliding up your stocking clad thighs is enough to suck all the air out of the room and you're already panting by the time you let words tremble out, "b- be gentle, please?" because your boyfriend - ex - has always been rough meaty hands grabbing at you in ways that never made you feel small in a good way, more like a poorly treated chew toy. dry digits shoving in your cunt - pumping once, maybe twice, before calling it enough.
jordan chews on their lip, to you it looks like contemplating; but jordans just hiding a grin. you're such a little fawn, they think. stumbling on shaky legs from the jaws of a bear into the den of a fox, because it looks kinder. but jordans still has fangs and they still want to eat you up. the difference, they guess, is that they actually want you to enjoy yourself.
nothing feels quite as good to their ego than a cute girl squeezing the life out of their fingers with their cunt.
"you've been with bad men, not only that, but one who by the looks of it - can't lay pipe for shit." their hands soothe up your thighs higher, fingers hooking into the edge of your panties under your skirt. "we'll get you sorted, princess."
you think they'd slide your panties down but they dont. you jolt, though when you feel the bare brush of their knuckle against the slick folds of your cunt as they skim their fingers down the edges of your panties. they hook the fabric to one side.
their eyes flick up to yours, "have you ever been with a woman before?"
your shake your head, biting your lip. something flashes in jordans eyes. "you good with me eating you out like this?"
you feel your face flush but you're quick to nod. "yes." you rush to say, "um. youre very pretty."
jordan smiles then. something in their gaze softens, just a little. "thank you, baby." with their free hand they pat one of your knees, nudging it open - "spread for me? there you go -"
nawing on your lip as you spread your thighs shyly, you cant help but eagerly look at jordans reaction to seeing your cunt. the way their eyes darken immediately. they bite their own lip, silky hair falling around their cheek as they shuffle closer.
"fuck." they say. still holding your panties to the side, still just looking. "shit. i need to-" their eyes dart to your face, "was gonna rizz you up some more but i really fucking need to eat you out -"
your head falls back when they cut themselves off like they can't help it, can't talk anymore, the draw between your legs to intense, and their head is between your thighs and you feel the soft wet heat of their lips around your tight little bud and its so fucking good - already better than anything you've had. jordans so earnest - they fucking love eating pussy, you can tell. the way they move their tongue, like their kissing it - sucking your lips, licking between them, swirling around your clit. dipping in and out of your weeping hole.
your hands fist the sheets - you dont even remember your exes name.
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billshxsband · 5 months
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can you do 2011 tom and hes your college professor and the reader hates him, she walks into class with a short skirt and he doesnt allow the skirt in class so he takes the reader to detention and hes there and you are the only two there
(have a blessed day :D)
OFC SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY YESTERDAY 😭🙏
Im assuming its smut so im sorry if its not 😔❤️
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(P in v, hair pulling, a bit of degrading!!)
————————————————————————
Another day with this annoying teacher, i will admit he may be cute but i do not like him. Every girl is obsessed with him i don’t understand what they see in him..
I decided to wear something kinda showing today, just to piss him off i guess, didnt go as i expected it to..
“Y/n.. that skirt is way too short.” He pointed me out again. “You’ll survive. Whyre you looking anyway?” He immediately looked away, a bit flustered.
“Whatever, i need you to stay after class we have to talk about your grades.” Theres nothing wrong with my grades.. i get As and Bs, Ds at worst but nothing under!?
Eventually class ended and we walked over to my desk, everyone had already left. “Why would you wear that, do you know how distracting that can be for some people?” He asked. “So what? If they fail they fail. They can keep their eyes to themselves and their own work!”
“Wanna keep giving me attitude? I will say it wont end well. I suggest  you stop, now.” Was he trying to scare me? If so it was not working at all. I ignored his warning and rolled my eyes, then he grabbed my face making me look at him. Ok.. was not expecting that ill admit..
“Did i not just tell you to stop? Do i have to punish you?”
“I dont know, do you?” I gave him a small smirk, he sat down in a chair and pulled me onto his lap. “Do i?” He made me look down at him.
It was kinda hot not gonna lie.. he grabbed my hand and placed it onto his crotch. Fuck i didnt know he meant this.. im not complaining tho..
“Wait mr kaul-“ he immediately interrupted me with a kiss, which then turned into a makeout..
Eventually he bent me over the desk. “G’na fuck you dumb.. cant listen then ill teach you.” He pushed my skirt up, moving my panties to the side and unzipping his pants.
“You on the pill?”
“Yes..”
“Perfect.”
He took off his boxers and without a warning rammed his dick into my cunt. “Shit! No warning!?” “I warned you didnt i? I told you it wouldnt be good, now shut the fuck up before someone hears us.”
He started pounding into me, not gentle at all. He grabbed my hips, slightly digging his nails into them. “Fuck.. so tight..” he grabbed my hair, pulling it slightly so he could see my face, i was a moaning mess.
He slapped my ass roughly. “I told you to shut up didnt i!?” “I-i can-t.. t’much.. ugh mmhhh!..”
“You’ll survive.. im almost there.. shit.. g’na cum in this tight little pussy..”
He started rubbing my clit fastly, my legs starting to shake as i came on his cock. He kept thrusting, overstimulating me. “P-please i cant! It hur-rts..!”
He slammed in one more time, coating my insides with his cum. He then pulled out, shoving the cum back in with two fingers, wiping my cunt and his dick with some tissues.
“Now go to your next class. You should listen to me more often if you don’t want that again.”
I nodded.
Well.. looks like i wont be listening any time soon..
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disasterofastory · 2 years
Note
Hi! Do you do requests? If no you can ignore this! If yes,
I was thinking, since I’ve seen you write for Joel miller also, the reader gets into some sort of romantic relationship with Joel. They have some intimate time but she panics and they have to stop, which confuses Joel but it turns out the reader has been s*xually assaulted in the past, which was traumatic for her. The reader thinks Joel will leave her now bc a) she’s a fair amount of heads younger, and b) she panicked when they were intimate. Besides that Joel is not so good at talking about his feelings and stuff. Although he isn’t good at it, he surprises the reader by being sweet and staying with her?
I hope you don’t mind me asking anonymously, I’ve been through something similar and am not comfort with it yet. Anyways, thank you so much in advance if you’d want to write about this ❤️
Breath Joel Miller x Reader Warnings: panic attack, mention of sa, hurt/comfort
Summary: You are not ready for the next step and it's fine.
A/N: I'm sorry you had to go through it. I hope you will find some comfort in my story and thank you for your request. If I wrote something wrong/hurtful or anything similar please tell me and I will correct it. I didn't write anything specific, so it can be before or after the breakout, whatever you want.
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You don't notice it at first. Your mind is too busy with Joel surrounding your every sense to see the obvious signs until it's too late.
You fall too fast and too hard.
"J-Joel," you say his name. Your voice is barely louder than a whisper and not nearly enough to make him stop. He is still on top of your, kissing down your neck and the soft curve of your shoulder. His lips are gentle, but it doesn't bring you comfort anymore. Even though he keeps his weight on his arms, he still becomes too heavy to the point you can't breathe. The air gets stuck in your burning lungs with every inhale and exhale. Your palms are warm and sweaty. Your fingers dig into the fabric of his shirt. You want to push him away, but your muscles don't obey your command.
Panic presses against your ribcage.
"Joel!" You gasp. "Please, stop!" The words feel heavy as they roll down your tongue. Your kiss-swollen lips tingle with every syllable you form. Hearing your pleas, the man on you immediately pulls away until he is at your side, watching your trembling form with a mix of frown and confusion. "What's wrong, Y/N?" He asks. He doesn't know what to do. Your whole body shakes, and sweat rolls down your temple. Your gaze is glassy and terrified. "I'm sorry," you choke out. Tears escape your eyes until you feel their salty taste on your lips. "No," he says, sitting up. "Tell me what to do." "I-I don't know," you sniff. "I don't know." "Okay, okay," he breathes out. "Can I hold your hand? Can I touch you, Y/N?" After your nod, Joel intertwines his fingers with yours. Your hold is weak on his hand. "Breath, Y/N," he says. "Close your eyes for me, sweet girl, and breath." Your eyelids fall shut on their own accord. "That's right," he praises. His voice is a soft, warm rumble in the quiet house. "And now breathe in. Keep it in. That's right. Good girl. And out. Do it again for me. Breathe in. Good. You are doin' so well, Y/N. Don't stop. And out." You follow his every word obediently until you relax. Your muscles lose their tension, and the stretching feeling in your chest slowly but surely disappears. You still shake, but you don't care. Joel makes sure your focus is on him and on him only. "You are doing so good, Y/N," he says. "Don't stop, okay? I will go and get you some water. Don't open your eyes and continue breathin', okay? I won't go far. I leave the door open so you can hear me, but don't stop breathing, okay? In and out. Good girl."
In.
And out.
In.
And out.
In.
Out.
"Good girl," Joel hums. "How are you feelin'? Can you sit up?" You move slowly and carefully as the world comes back to you. You are still on the bed. Your back is against the wooden headrest. The cover is wrinkled around your legs. Your shirt is on the floor. "Do you want your shirt?" Joel asks when he follows your gaze. "Or do you want one of mine?" "Can I get yours?" You croak. "Of course, love," he says. "But drink it first, okay?" He adds, holding out a glass of water for you. "Thank you," you gasp between two gulps. "Do you want more?" He asks after a few seconds, exchanging the empty glass for a shirt you put on immediately. The soft fabric cocoons you into his familiar, musky scent and warmth. "No," you reply. "Thank you." "Don't thank me, Y/N," he says, putting down the glass and sitting down on the edge of the bed. He is far enough, so you don't feel crowded but not enough to make you feel bad or alone. "Do you need anythin' else?" "No," you shake your head with another deep breath. You feel tired but much better than a few minutes ago. Your chest is light, and you can move your limbs again. You are fine, you remind yourself. "Can you tell me what happened?" He asks carefully, watching your every reaction. "Did I do somethin' wrong?" "No," you shake your head. "Not you." "Then? What happened?" Joel has a guess, a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he doesn't want to bring it up if you don't. Whatever you tell him or don't is your choice. "I-" your breath hitches. "Uhm- Something happened… I-" The gears in your head creak and turn as you try to find the right words, but whenever you want to say it out loud, something stops you. The back of your eyes starts to burn, and your throat tightens. Joel moves closer, still watching your reaction. "Can I hold your hand?" Without answering, you reach out for him, holding onto his fingers. "I'm sorry." He frowns. "Why? You have nothing to be sorry for." "But-" You knew when you met the man in front of you that maybe you weren't ready for a relationship with intimacy, but you couldn't help yourself. You wanted his warm brown eyes, soft smile, and everything that came with him. "No buts," he says stubbornly, but you are stubborn too. And your fears are too big not to tell them. "But maybe you would be better with someone else," you tell him. Even the thought of Joel being with someone else breaks your heart, but you want to give him a chance. You don't want him to stay with you because he thinks you are too young and vulnerable. You want him but not his pity. Hearing your words, he scoffs, and the frown deepens between his thick brows. "I don't even want to hear about it, Y/N. Do you understand? I want you. And everything that comes with you." "Are you sure?" You ask, blinking the tears away from your eyes. Silence follows your words, but you know Joel better than misunderstand it. You know he has some trouble with words sometimes, and you don't hurry him. "Can I hold you?" He asks after a while, and when you nod, he crawls up next to you until he can curl his arm around your shoulders, and you rest your head on his chest. His scent fills your nostrils, and his heartbeat under your ear helps to keep your calm. "You have the reins, okay?" He asks after a while. "You dictate the pace. If you want to tell me somethin', I'm here, and if I do somethin' you don't like, you tell me, and I stop, okay?" "Thank you," you tell him, sliding your arm around his middle to hug him tighter. "Don't thank me, Y/N," he murmurs. His breath fans over the top of your head. "I'm here for you."
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kaeyas-beloved · 1 year
Note
Hello Val, it's me again lol. Could I please request [ 💐 ] - buying them flowers, just because for either Kaveh or Childe? Just pick the character that inspires you more for this prompt and take your time. <3 I'll be patiently waiting because your fics are always worth waiting. - Lots of love, JJ <3
@genshin-impact-writings
(Hi me again I’m Val)
Hello JJ!! I decided to do both characters because a) I love them and b) I wanna write something for Kaveh but I also wanna provide you with some yummy Childe fluff ❤️ (also I just know Mr. Ginger Man (affectionate) would give you the biggest god damn bouquet he could get his hands on). Sending love right back at you and thank you for your patience!!
CWs: gn!reader (you/your), a smidge of angst in Kaveh’s, spoilers for Childe’s real name, Kaveh’s is shorter I’m sorry
acts of service prompts: open!
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Childe
There are moments in his day where his love for you makes his heart constrict painfully and his lips form the stupidest, lovesick of smiles, his emotions consuming him whole. When he’s at work he has to put down his pen and drop his head in his hands as he fights to calm himself down from this high, because no matter how much he doesn’t want to, he has to in order to finish and return home to you.
Even then though, sometimes Childe’s feelings resurface on his walk home and suddenly he’s walking a little faster and faster and faster until he’s practically running. He told himself he’d keep going until he reached home, that nothing else was to distract him from his mission at hand, a task that goes out the window when his eye catches a lone stall.
Scanning over it an idea popped into his head, one that makes him smile and mutter a small perfect under his breath. The more his newfound plan stewed in his mind, the clearer the picture of your expression became. It would be a happy expression, one of the brightest he’s ever seen, one that makes him think that going through with this shouldn’t be a question at all. Settling his sights on the shopkeep, the male changes course, intending to be quick as to not make you wait.
No more than forty minutes later does a knock echo off your front door. Expecting the loving and boyish face of your lover, your reaction to coming face to face with a wall of flowers is justified. That is to say, your reaction being to stumble back from the door.
Quietly, as if unsure, you call his name, taking a guess that it’s him behind this grand gesture. Honestly, who’s rich enough in Snezhnaya and fancies you enough to do this besides him anyway? Regaining some composure, you hesitantly move past your entryway to just in front of the bouquet, lifting a hand up to brush again the flora.
How soft, is your first thought, the petals as delicate as your touch. Your second thought was about how gorgeous a sight it was to see flowers of all things in the unforgiving cold.
“Do you like them?” Arms encircle you, but there’s no fear in you as you rest your arm against his, the familiar red scarf hanging in the corner of your vision and his soothing voice are plenty familiar to you.
Humming in response, you look behind you, finally getting to see him after being apart all day. His nose and cheeks were a little red, and his scarf was loose to the point it could slide off his neck at any point, but other than that he appeared content as ever. “They’re very pretty, Ajax, thank you. What’s the occasion though?”
Instead of a response, be it in the form of words or a joyous laugh, his lips simply meet yours as a replacement, soft and gentle as they move against yours. Your shock is over quickly, leaning in to return his affection. Pulling you just a little closer, the male drops his voice to a whisper, breath hot against your skin, “I got them because I love you. What other reason should there be?”
Kaveh
For the most part, money is scarce for the architect. He can’t always go spending it on whatever he pleases, whenever he pleases. However, Kaveh is also a romantic at heart and has an eye for beauty. So, who really needs to budget when they see something pretty that their lover would like?
Well, turns out Kaveh does, as he finds out. Even though the blond stands before you, a single pale Padisarah in hand, all he can embarrassingly think about is how he was short by about 400 mora at the checkout. The only reason he even got a flower was because the old woman at the counter was kind enough to let him have it.
“I know it’s not much,” he begins, voice betraying how he truly felt about his lack of grandeur, “but I still wanted to get you a little something. I… hope you like it.” The man before you now seems so small compared to his usual loud and passionate self, even his hands twitch with nerves as he presents what he believes is a sorry excuse of a gift.
But you, oh, you welcome it with a smile and an eager acceptance, nose falling into the center of the bloomed plant. Just your reaction alone eases his tense shoulders, eyes the colour of fire in a sunset watching as you hurried to place the delicate thing in a safe spot. When you were done you rushed back to his side, grabbing each of his hands in yours and bringing them to rest on your cheeks, your hands remaining over his, “thank you thank you thank you Kaveh! You’re the best!”
Pressing a quick yet firm kiss to his forehead, you wrap your arms around him tight, giving him no room to return your affection… not that he could with how overheated his body was feeling. It definitely didn’t help when you tilted your head so you could whisper in his ear. However, the moment he registers your words he’s snapped out of his embarrassed state, eyes widening a fraction before softening.
“I really do love it. If you buy me one or one hundred, it doesn’t matter to me. The greatest gift is your love, no matter what form it takes.”
Truth be told, in that moment as he returns your embrace, he couldn’t have asked for a better lover than you.
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weepingwriter · 1 year
Text
CW/TW: Stalking, obsessive behavior, mentions of drugs/ drugging, NSFW/noncon (more mentions/imagination but you guys get the jist).
This isn’t the greatest but I hope y’all enjoy, lmk if you want a part two or anything to this little Drabble ❤️
—Hoodie/Brian Thomas—
Brian knew he shouldn’t be at the club that night. He shouldn’t have set foot in the building ever, but he couldn’t help himself. Despite how much he hated the pounding music and sweaty bodies that wreaked of beer and B.O., he just had to see you one last time before he left for his next mission. He wouldn’t be back for weeks and he just needed one last fix. You were just as addictive to him as the pills he popped daily — and yet, you barely knew he existed.
Even as he walked in and took his usual seat, tucked away in the darkest corner from the bar he could never stop admiring just how perfect you were. The curve of your lips, your smile, the way your hands moved and gripped the glasses you used to make drinks, just everything. Everything about you was pure perfection to him. And tonight, he’d make his first move.
Brian was always rather good at reading people. It was something he prided himself on even before his whole life was turned upside down by the eldritch being. He knew how to lure people in, hell, most were just attracted to him anyways. It’s not often you see a giant of a man, human curiosity and hubris pulls them to him like moths to a flame. He could only hope you’d be the same way.
He knew you saw him every time he walked in. He’d gone up to you before on multiple occasions, bought a drink or two for you to enjoy but Brian always made sure not to linger too long. No, he couldn’t give you all his attention too soon. That would scare you off before he had a chance to lure you into his waiting arms.
He’d thought it over so many times in the past few months, how he’d take you. His sick and twisted plans were varied. One included hitting you up and luring you back to the shared apartment he and Tim were tucked away in for a night, others came down to drugging you or slamming your head into whatever wall was closest and knocking you out cold so you couldn’t run.
Either way, he needed you in his arms. He needed to fulfill his fantasy at least once. The thought alone of having you helpless underneath him made his cock twitch eagerly, and genuinely, Brian wasn’t positive if he’d be able to be patient and play this little waiting game any longer. He’d spent so many nights with his hand wrapped around his shaft as he’d watch you through the windows of your apartment, imagining it was your lips or pretty little hole squeezing him so tightly instead. He needed you before this mission.
The blonde man was pulled from his thoughts rather quickly then as he felt a gentle hand be placed on his shoulder, his eyes flickering up only to be greeted with your concerned face.
“Uh.. do you need some water sir? You seem a bit out of it.” You managed to say over the loud music, slowly pulling your hand away from his shoulder as he finally seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in.
“Oh— uh no. No sorry. Just had a long day at work so I was zonin’ out a bit.” Brian managed to reply, flashing you a sheepish grin as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Just a beer, please.”
You took a moment to look over him and make sure he wasn’t wasted, your eyes scanning over his face down to his broad shoulders before you nodded in agreement and wrote down his order on the small pad you were holding. “Card, please.” You began, eyes widening however as he pulled out a wad of cash and placed it on the table.
“Just get me a few and take the rest as a tip.” Was all he replied as he grinned faintly at your reaction, watching as you nodded and scooped up the wad before scurrying off to your usual spot behind the bar to gather drinks for waiting customers.
It wasn’t long before you approached him again, two beers in hand for now as others called after you in attempts to get more drinks into their eager maws. They could wait however. He was your most important customer at the moment. He would make sure your attention stayed on him by the end of the night.
“Long night eh?” He asked with a sheepish smile for now, doing his best to keep your attention even if it was just for a few more moments. Brian watched as your eyes met his own for a moment before scanning over his body once more as you nodded.
“Most saturdays are. Thankfully we should be closin’ up soon. So try and get your drinks in before last call.” You said as sweetly and politely as you could. Even if it was to just get tips, Brian really didn’t care. Hearing you talk to him with such sugar in your tone could make him melt over and over again.
“Aye aye cap’n.” Brian replied with a nod, lifting up his drink to acknowledge you before he took a sip. “Not to be too forward, but would you mind if I bought you a drink? S’okay if you say no.”
The blonde giant couldn’t help the faint grin on his lips as he watched you buffer for a minute at his question. You looked almost like a little deer caught in headlights as you processed it.
“Oh.. uh.. sure why not. Thank you.” You replied after a bit with a small smile, your eyes flickering however back towards the bar. “I gotta get back to work. Just come on over and we can chat more.”
Brian’s grin widened and he nodded with ease, moving to stand and follow you right up to the bar without a second thought. After all, you’d just fallen right on into his trap without even realizing it.
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spongeofaces · 5 months
Note
hi there!
i'd like to request a romantic twisted wonderland matchup if that's alright. please do not match me with the first years.
my info are as follows: gender: female sexuality: bisexual (leaning towards men), aromantic personality indicators: intj 5w4 ; melancholic-choleric signs: pisces sun / taurus rising / taurus moon hogwarts house: ravenclaw alignment: neutral good alignment preferred gender to be matched with: male
personality: studious, business-minded, tech-savvy, a little bit of a perfectionist, highly values knowledge and intelligence, tends to overwork, stubbornly independent, calm and composed, intimidating at first glance (according to colleagues), reserved and extremely introverted, protective to loved ones, obedient and respectful to authorities but will not hesitate to call them out if necessary, blunt, idealistic but a complete realist/pessimist on serious situations, highly organised, loves to play video games or read and write books on spare time, passionate, drawn to mysterious, historical, gothic, and horror subjects
hobbies + likes: researching abandoned and haunted places, writing, reading, exams, stationery, business-related topics (esp finance), coffee shops, bookstores and libraries, electronic shops, technology, video games, dark royalty / dark academia aesthetic, classical literature, classical music, detective/crime/mystery/horror stories (esp. from 19th century), cats, history, listening and belting out to musicals when alone, greek mythology
dislikes: bugs, studying repetitive subjects without gaining new knowledge, failure to meet own expectations, unnecessary change
fashion choices: gothic, elegant, classic, vintage, and formal fashion styles
partner preference: someone gentle yet authoritative, smart/highly intelligent and has a lot of knowledge generally or on a certain subject
ideal date: no preference but museum dates and coffee dates are great
i think this info is enough. let me know if you need anything else! thanks! ❤️
Struggled a bit with this one, so sorry if the results aren't what you wanted :(
---
I match twstgarden with...
🐉 Malleus Draconia 🐉
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-:-:-:-
Doesn't matter how introverted you are, Malleus converses the same with everyone (excluding Lilia, Sebek, Silver) anyway. He also isn't the most social person, (doesn't get out much) so he doesn't know awkwardness from confidence.
A big quality time guy, and maybe physical touch? Gentle giant.
He'll support you from the frontlines, or the sidelines, just tell him what he can do. But remember to give him some support too, it aint easy being a lonely prince.
He's patient, so open up in your own time. He's happy to go at whatever pace you set for a relationship. Real respectful.
Knowledgeable in older topics.
This guy knows nothing about technology. Showing him a video game will result in many curious enquiries. It may take him a little bit to learn the ways of gaming, but he'll treasure any time you spend teaching him.
Again with technology, make him a music playlist. He'll adore it.
Honestly, this guy would go just about anywhere, as long as you invite him. He knows plenty of abandoned places to explore, and would be ecstatic to research them together with you! Oh, please let him tell you about gargoyles, he's obsessed.
Lots of dates! Be prepared to visit a lot of new places, cafes, shops, parks, museums, basically everywhere datey. Oh, but wherever you go, it'll probably be pretty empty. For good or bad, Malleus's prescence scared any other visitors off. But, that just means more space for the two of you.
Other options: Vil, Leona and Riddle.
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Hiii i really like your Julian Loki stuff and like I’m so inloveee with him he’s so adorable if you don’t mind can you please do a head cannon where the reader sh and Loki finds out (anyway you want) and also if you feel comfortable doing it I totally understand it’s a triggering topic❤️
Hiii! Im guessing by sh you mean self harming. If you're going through hard times be sure to take care of yourself and sure i can try that out. I haven't written about sh before. I'd also like to see how my take on it turns out. I really hope you'll enjoy this.
Im going to go for scenario hcs. ( Im so sorry, at the end it turned into more of a oneshot and i hope you still liked it. I will definitely try to make julian hc, if your healing from sh im wishing a great recovery and stay strong)
You trembled at the thought, why did this habit come back, you bit your nails in hope for a relief. Your dilated pupil stuck on the blade laying on the cold ground of the bathroom. You'd thought you got rid of this, you couldn't imagine loki julian reaction if he found out. You had that urge to reach out for that shining bright blade, that would soon be stained a warm crimson liquid. One of your hand was gripping your hair so hard you'd thought it would rip. Knocks on the door brought you back to reality, a sudden panic took over you." Dove are you in there?" You somehow managed to give him a clear answer" yea!" " Are you alright? Your voice seem shaky" " i-im okay!" " Are you sure? Im here if you need help" " it's fine! D-don't worry" julian bit his lips, he knew something was wrong, he didn't want to do what he was going to do, but he somehow knew something was not okay. He took a deep breath....
On the other side....
The knife was resting in your palm, cutting side pointed towards your skin. That to create a new scar between tons of others, each breath you took seemed like a mountain to climb. Before the knife could hit something it was gently taken out of your grip...
He took a deep breath" then you wouldn't mind me coming in, right?" He didn't await your answer and entered, the view that welcomed him was terrifying. You about to cut your flesh, tons of scars overlapping eachothers and covering all your limbs. He quickly walked towards you, he grabbed the blade gently, his gentle eyes sinking in your terrified and anxious ones. He distracted you, resting his palm on your face, he hid the knife in his pocket.
Before the knife could cut any skin, it was gently taken away from your grip. Your iris met gentle ones, one as gentle as a sunset, ones that contained an unending love for you. The male's palm came to rest on your cheek, you were too distracted by his gentle and captivating eyes that you didn't notice the knife being hidden away. He went from his squatting position to sitting down, pulling you closer to him, hugging you against his chest. Hoping to give you some sort of comfort, his hopes were fulfilled. Tears started trimming down your face, you hit his chest eith awfully weak punch. He felt your hit weakens more and more until it was just a contact, he felt his shirt being soaked in tears but that was not his concern. He cupped your cheeks making you look at him in the eyes, you had tears fighting for balance at the corners of your eyes. You sniffed a bit, waiting for what's coming next, like a slap or scolding but that never came, instead:
" Dove, whatever you're reason was, that it's the envy of blood, self dislike, negative thought in general. Whatever it is, don't do it again. I don't like seeing you hurt yourself, it shatters my heart seeing hate the one i cherish and admires the most. I don't want that someone to disappear, because that someone is you, Dove"
Your eyes widened at his word, tears trimming down again, you closed the distance between yours and his lips, searching for that comforting warmth that took all your issues away. When you parted, a tired sigh escaped your lips, you searched for that warmth over and over until you feel into a repairing slumber.
A smile tugged on julian lips, he got up eith a slight grunt, your passed out self resting in his arms. He carried you to your shared room, gently putting you down on the mattress that sank under your weight. He sat in the edge glad this was all over for now, it would take a ton of times for you to heal completely but he was willing to walk eith you along the way. He laid down next to you, wrapping his arms around your sleeping figure and held you tight against himself, you snuggled against him in your sleep.
He really was too kind for his own good...
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dogearedheart · 2 months
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Hey! I say this with love but I feel like you might be spiraling? Please don't forget to take care of your basic needs and go on a nice walk if you can. And re the romantic love thing, I've been there and felt hopeless too but at some point I started dividing my attention more and found more kinds of love in different places and now I feel fulfilled with friendships and community, and perhaps romantic love later down the line but I don't feel that "burden" and pressure anymore. And I believe you can get there too. I really do. And because I feel like you might now deny that or say something self-deprecating, I will probably not come back to your inbox but know that I have faith and I promise things do change, you just need to shift your mindset slowly over time, be gentle with yourself but also give yourself a kick in the butt if you feel like giving up or going back to behavior or thought patterns that are unhelpful. Wishing you the best ❤️
hey, anon!
sorry, if you got the feeling that I am spiraling, but I am actually feeling very stable at the moment. I am not sure if my last ask made you come here and leave this ask, but I wasn't just talking about romantic love. I was talking about all those different kinds of love. you can love your friend just as deeply as your partner. and all the people I've met (which have almost all been friendships and very rarely something more) have made me the person I am today. I meant that in a very thankful kinda way, if that makes sense? I never felt these feelings were a burden or a pressure. sure, I would usually try to deny whatever is said about me (especially in a nice context, I guess), but I honestly don't think anything you said is like... something I was trying to say. I do think that we all have the capacity to find our own people. romantic and platonic love have always been linked to me anyway. I am being as gentle and kind with myself as I can be. I am good with who I am, and too tired to try and be anyone else anyway.
I know that this is probably an asks with kind intentions, but I am not sure what to make of the first part if I am being completely honest.
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babyminssii · 3 years
Note
Oh welcome back! Love your blog. Please comment on Jimin’s birthday video, and the ‘want some ramen’ and that can’t-believe-it-happened hickey and all ❤️
Ah thank you! 😊 oh gosh anon 😂 it’s been a very busy couple months hasn’t it. I think if i had to rank just these 3 moments it’d go:
Jimin Bday Vlive
Hickey TM
Ramen
The Ramen comment definitely had me (and plenty of others) do a hard PAUSE. Cause it just sounded so suggestive considering what that phrase is known for over there?? Lol but then the rational part of my brain kicks in and thinks, in context, they commented plenty of times about being hungry and eating so much at that time of night (early am). So them laughing after JK suggested it could have been innocent lmao but who am i kidding.
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Moving onto the moment we all can’t believe was actually aired?? Admitted to out loud?? PROUDLY i might add. We really got footage of jimin apologizing for sucking on JK’s neck ‘biting’ JK (pretty sure he wasn’t sorry lmao). All because JK picked him up bridal style and began spinning him around and wouldn’t put him down… When they were drinking together at night alone… Cause that is totally a normal thing for a pair of ‘bros’ to do 🧐
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We can’t even make this up 😂. It literally came from their OWN mouths that this happened. And JK’s face when he pointed it out again lol i cannot. They weren’t slick and anyone with a brain would know that’s not how bite marks look lol especially a whole day later. And they could have just ignored it and not brought attention to it but for whatever reason they felt the need to shine a bigass spotlight on his neck. In fact they have professional makeup artists on hand basically 24/7, plus we all know JK is handy with makeup as well.. so this bite story inclusion had to be purposeful. Wild.
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And then we come to my favorite moment of the year tbh (at least it has the most of my attention as of right now). Jimin’s Birthday vlive.
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EYE-
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DO WE SEE HOW IN LOVE THIS MAN IS?! Okay let me clam down lol
Where do i even begin 😅 that whole part of the live was something to watch. I couldn’t believe it was happening in front of my salad and i’ve been around since 2016. I’ve witnessed plenty of moments happen real time and yet this one felt the most intrusive? Like excuse me should i leave? I don’t think i’ll ever move passed how shy jimin has been when it comes to those two lately. And this live was THE perfect example of that.
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Starting from the fact that I recognized that studio space as jimin started the live. I had my suspicions that were definitely confirmed by hobi later lol. And when Jimin dialed the phone, the minute he opened his mouth i just KNEW it had to be JK on the other end. HIS VOICEE. It was so gentle and soft and honestly sounded the way one would talk to their significant other. and then we all got our answer when he put him on speaker. The blatant flirty tones, the back and forth banter over JK working out and him teasing that he was too busy to come join jimin, only to agree to come 2 seconds later. And then he legit walked into his studio a minute later??? Either he teleported or he was making his way down to jimin the whole time they were on the phone as if he knew he’d want him there. Jimin saying he missed him and that he felt better having him there 😭
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But the cherry on top of it all was when hobi came in and asked THE question we all wanted to know. Just why was jimin in JK’s studio hmmm?? According to hobi it’s a ‘public’ space (that needs a code to get in but okay) but i’d like the two lovebirds to answer that question next time 😏.
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Anyways I didn’t mean for this to get as long as it did lol but it was a loaded ask anon. Hopefully you enjoyed my rough commentary on these moments 😊
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nolanhollogay · 2 years
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"What are we married?" + cam❤️❤️❤️
my angel my baby my bestest boy and his bestest boy
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Cam still wasn't used to having a boyfriend who was good to him, as depressing as that sounded. He wasn't used to having someone who actually wanted him around, someone who liked him for him and not just because he was young and easy to manipulate.
He was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for Derek John to realize he was a fraud and kick him to the curb like he deserved.
It seemed like that day was finally coming. Derek John had been distracted all day, barely paying attention to the conversations Cam kept starting, and he kept fidgeting like he was ready to bolt for the door.
Cam just wished he'd rip the band-aid off already.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked, suddenly, startling the both of them. He hadn't meant to phrase the question like that, but whatever.
They were in his bedroom, lying on the floor because his bed was covered in stuff he was packing for his upcoming tour. Derek John was bouncing his leg, making the floor vibrate.
"You're so rude. Anyone ever tell you that?" Derek John teased, smiling as he turned to look at him. "Rudest person I ever met."
Cam poked him in the side, bumping his head into his shoulder like an affectionate cat. "It's why you like me."
Derek John laughed in that affectionate way that only he got to hear. It was soft and gentle, just a short gust of sound flying from his lips. "Oh, of course. It's the only reason."
Before they could fall into silence again, Cam kicked him in the shin. "You didn't answer me."
Derek John rolled his eyes. "Forgive me for not wanting to respond to What's wrong with you? Like that's such an easy question to answer."
Cam kicked him again, hard enough to make him move his leg away. "You know what I meant, jerk. You've been lost in the clouds since you came over. What's on your mind?"
Derek John paused, and his heart dropped. This was the moment. He was going to get dumped.
As he braced himself for the emotional impact, Derek John tangled their fingers together. Which was kind of a dick move if you were about to break someone's heart, honestly.
"You're not allowed to make fun of me," he warned.
Cam scoffed. "I wouldn't make fun of you," Derek John sent him a look of disbelief, "I wouldn't! Not if it was serious anyway."
Derek John nodded and sat up, yanking Cam up immediately after. It must've been serious if it was a conversation they couldn't have lying on the ground.
Oh gosh, he really was dumping him.
Cam's heart started to pound, and his eyes filled with tears without his permission because his stupid tear ducts had a vendetta against him.
Derek John noticed immediately, which was the most in character behavior he'd displayed all afternoon. Pulling Cam into his arms, he asked, "Woah, baby, what's wrong? I haven't even said anything yet."
Cam sighed at his own melodramatics. Now on top of being dumped, he was embarrassing himself.
Sniffling into Derek John's shoulder he began to ramble at him, which was even more humiliating. "Please don't break up with me. I'm sorry for being shitty and making fun of you all the time and being a cry baby and being a dumb cokehead so we can't go out to parties and do fun things like normal couples. I'll do whatever you want. I'll listen to stupid EDM and watch all the lame action movies you want. Please don't break up with me. I like you so much."
Derek John moved him away from their hug and wiped the tears off his cheeks. "Oh my God, Teo, why would you think I'd ever break up with you?"
Cam sniffled again, pushing his face into Derek John's stupidly big palm. "Because I'm annoying and you've been so weird since you came over and I'm leaving in like two days to go across the country and why would you stay with me when you can find someone else way cooler when I'm gone?"
Cam hadn't realized that last part was something he was worried about until the words were spilling out of his lips. Funny how that worked.
"Well, first of all, you are really annoying," Derek John started. Cam punched him in the arm and he laughed, grabbing his hand to kiss his knuckles. "But I like that about you. And the fact that you're a crybaby. And you making fun of me, because I like making fun of you. And you know I hate parties anyway. At least dumb LA parties. Like, why would I go to a club where everyone is a terrible person when I can get drunk in my living room and have way more fun that way?"
Cam nodded along even though he hadn't touched any alcohol in nine months.
Derek John dropped his hand to squish his face. "I'm not breaking up with you. I have no plans to and I don't want to. I like you too much. You're stuck with me, okay?"
Cam nodded again, sniffling one last time. "'Kay. Sorry for stealing your moment. You can say what you were gonna say before."
Derek John bit his lip, suddenly nervous. It was always such an alien expression on his face.
"I want you to wear my cross. While you're on tour," he admitted, avoiding Cam's eyes. "I know you don't believe in God anymore and you don't have to if it'll make you feel uncomfortable, but I just.. I want you to know I'm there for you even if I'm not physically with you. And, like, maybe I want to remind people that I'm yours and you're mine or some sappy shit like that."
Cam crawled into his lap and kissed him so hard that he fell backwards, catching himself on his elbows so he didn't smack his head onto the floor. "I'd love that. So much."
"Yeah?" he asked, grinning, face lit up with joy.
Cam nodded, face splitting with a smile of his own, "Yeah."
Derek John didn't waste any time, sitting up and taking the chain off of his own neck. The necklace glittered under the light, the cross itself seemingly the shiniest it had ever been.
Fingers lingering on the skin of Cam's neck, eyes locked on the cross, Derek John mumbled, "We're a little married."
"What does this mean now? What are we? Married?" Cam teased as Derek John fastened the chain around his throat. He was definitely making fun of him but he knew he'd get away with it because he always did. "Was matching tattoos not enough for you?"
The chain was so light it was barely noticeable, but the cross sat heavily against his chest. But it was a comforting weight, a grounding presence. Like Derek John's arm over his waist when the woke up together in the mornings, or his head on his shoulder.
Cam kissed him again, muttering, "In your dreams," against his mouth.
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