#sorry i will stop after tonight
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shibalatte · 6 months ago
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notimdude horses...
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steelycunt · 2 years ago
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everyone get up and make some noise for sirius' vivienne westwood two cowboys with their cocks out shirt!! we're losing our minds over here for sirius' vivienne westwood two cowboys with their cocks out shirt!!
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purpurussy · 3 months ago
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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yakny · 6 months ago
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Knight Bobo, wearing some of the patterns I drew :D!
#LN#colored doodles#bobo#ft.#agata#louie#(sorry. long tags warning ¯\ (ToT) /¯)#putting the blue patterns to use even if she wasn't the intended wearer for them (hey! big bro louie just has to learn how to share! lol.)#i am actually planning to draw all three of them more along with fafnir and some other nobodies. i cri—#speaking of fafnir!!! FAFNIR???!!! offering alcoholic drinks to nidhogg in the 9th anniversary hell event????!!!#fafnir who's helping agata bobo and louie against tyr?!! who has bobo on speed dial for info as she thwarts tyr's plans??? the guy who‚ on#the night louie leaves and visits him for a drink‚ offers him instead a hot cup of MILK and teasingly calls him a child?! ASADJFJDSK!!!#(there's layers to him offering that that makes it funny‚ i promise. he offers concoctions based on a person's personality? i think??? he#offered debbie a cup of milk that TASTES like books and mela something strong. losing it ✋😭) anyways he runs an INTEL TAVERN. is aware of#most things in the north. fuck. wait! omg??? what if he's the same tavern keeper from louie's dreamweaver??? regardless he is aiding#all three of them... somehow... and he's sharing a drink with nid which is funny cause nid is the same guy who has said before ''alcohol#destroys you mind and stops you from making the right choice 🗿'' and there's fafnir sliding a drink to a sad looking nid. asdjsfkgk#FAFNIR please 😭😭😭!!! (fafnir sliding a drink to nid: make some bad choice tonight boy.)#anyways im just happy there's new fafnir art. i was not expecting it. or him alongside nid. fafnir's name is ALSO named after a dragon in#norse mythology. 🤔 turning into a dragon is a symbol of greed. damn. imagine fafnir is ALSO from frigidfog? but then again...#OKAY I'LL STOP!!! (I WILL NOT!!! I AM LOSING MY MIND! THERE'S JUST SO MUCH I CAN PLAY AROUND WITH HERE!)#wait! okay okay okay. what if for some reason fafnir is ratatoskr 👁 👁? like the role he plays as an intelligence collector adds up#as louie said ''(fafnir) you're not even there yet you already know about it'' it's not far fetched#... i am officially losing it. im adding too much depth to a game that has time and time again made itself shallow 😔
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devilsskettle · 7 months ago
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actually it’s crazy to see people openly be like “we don’t care about your content, or the quality of your content, or your ability to make the kind of content you want to make at the level that you want to make it at, or your ability to make that content sustainably while being able to support yourself, or your goal to create a space that fosters more creativity and freedom for yourself and other filmmakers. we actually just care about our ability to be a voyeuristic third party to a relationship between two specific guys who we don’t actually know FOR FREE and we’re gonna act like you owe us that forever without changing or pursuing any of your ambitions. also if you say that your content is worth the same amount as 1 cup of coffee per month, you’re greedy. don’t you know we young folk already can’t afford all the streaming services run by billion dollar corporations that we’re already paying for, which are absolute necessities. why don’t they just fire everybody and move and uh um. idk sell DVDs instead”
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s-ccaam-era-crepe · 3 months ago
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i should stop starting video games so late at night bc now i dont want to sleep <3
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sportsthoughts · 8 months ago
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#oh i am a bit tired tonight folks. had a nice time yesterday trawling through old pens forums and linking back some posts to here#(all with links because like - it's nice to share where you've found fun stuff right?) no point gatekeeping at all - we don't own content#and then the same old people once again somehow by chance post the exact same five or six photos 5 minutes after#and yeah. great minds think alike right? you were probably trawling a not touched since 2015 forum too at the same time. it's possible#and out of the hundreds of photos on there you decided to make the exact selection i did. it's possible right?#and truthfully i don't really care because i'm posting this stuff because my blog is MY personal archive and it's stuff I want to catalogue#but when you have blocked as many blogs and sideblogs as you can and people are still finding you and send you shitty anons for just...#daring to use the player tags? cataloging stuff by literally tagging the player's name? ughhhhh it's exhausting how can i block you when yo#are the tumblr equivalent of hydra regrowing a new fake sideblog pretending to be a different person every week.#sorry i know this ranting into the abyss is pointless but i have a few more posts scheduled for tonight and i know i'll wake up tomorrow#and miraculously the same ones will be posted on the same people's blogs 5 minutes after me and it's just so childish#but yeah. we all know who they are and i'm just a little tired of it and hearing the stories of people being harassed in their inboxes/dms#anyway anyway anyway. i think i shall just take a break from posting stuff because feeling a little disheartened! and uncomfortable#because i feel watched. please stop using other blogs to find me. please stop talking about me in your tags. touch some grass my friends
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talesofwhimsy · 2 months ago
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WHY?, “Sin Imperial" // Car Sear Headrest, “I Can Play the Piano”
#Whywithaquestionmark#Car Seat Headrest#trigger warning for eating disorders I'm sorry I don't know the best way to tag them I never had to before#I was having a conversation earlier about how I have a very specific relationship with fasting#in that for me specifically I feel like it’s just slow-burn starvation#because it gave me an eating disorder#this idea that if I just stop eating then I'll lose weight and if I lose weight I'll be better#that eating was a moral failure on my part because if I just held out a little longer then I'd be beautiful#so when I'd eventually break fast because it had been days and my vision was fading#I'd make myself throw up afterwards because I had failed#that morphed into all the different little toxic relationships I have with food#I still consider myself a monster for eating#I still lie about how much or how often I eat#and after I stopped forcing myself to throw up after every meal all the consequences hit#my hair started falling out my teeth started falling out all the weight I lost came back#and there was this voice in the back of my head that said that if I had kept going none of that would have happened#and that's kind of true because either those delayed consequences wouldn't have hit#Or I would have actually succeeded in starving myself to death#anyway I relapsed after dinner tonight and purged again and the why? song came on shuffle on the drive home#and I thought it was a little ironic haha#and I ate some more when I got home and I'm really struggling with this one right now haha#because I told myself I wouldn't have anything else to eat tonight but I did and now I feel like I have to pay for it#I think people forgot I was bulimic a few years ago or I just thought I told them and didn't#because it seemed like news at the dinner table lmao#I don't talk about it a lot because it's really upsetting to people I care about#But I haven't made myself throw up in a long time so this is kind of scary I think#Or maybe I shouldn't be scared and instead I should just force of will this#back myself into a lose-lose situation where I either hate myself for eating or hate myself for starving/purging#that's the only way my brain knows how to function I guess#whoever wins we lose haha whatever
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tommygotwrittenoff · 3 months ago
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i need eddie to get another guy friend in season 8, and buck loses his shit about it (again), so he breaks up with t because he's convinced that the weird feeling he gets when he sees them together is because he is Really attracted to the new guy.
#like things with t are fine cuz he likes exploring this new side of himself even if t doesnt always match his energy but whatever its fun#and maybe at work chim is the one who brings up eddies new friend and he is immediately just. what new friend?#chim laughs and says. tbf last time eddie got a new friend you attacked him so you could date his friend. hes probably keeping it to himsel#and bucks like. dude what. that was. yeah it was shitty of me but it was a one time thing. i wont do it again...#and when eddie shows up for shift buck immediately asks about his new friend and eddie tells him about the guy without hesitation#after shift tho buck is like. why didnt you tell me about him? after t i get why you dont want to but im just. you dont have to worry man.#buck. i know. im not worried. anyway he and i are gonna head to a bar to catch the game. you want to come with? you can bring t if hes free#oh. thats. thatd be okay? i dont want to idk ruin the vibe by bringing a date#nah man. itll be fine#and so he and t go to the bar and eddies already inside with the new friend and its Fine. its Great actually because t gets along with eddi#and the new guy and the new guy makes eddie laugh and doesnt miss a beat and knows more about the teams record this season than buck and#buck is doing Fine. this guys smile is big and his eyes are bright and when he laughs he sorta leans into eddies space alittle and its Fine#the night ends and buck and t go back to his apartment and buck cant stop thinking about that guys hand when it clapped down on eddies#shoulder or the look on his face as he teased eddie about the beer he drinks (cuz its kinda bad but only buck can say that) and buck Cant.#he wants that guy. he wants his hands and grin and teasing voice all to himself and not on eddie.#so he breaks up with t and ts confused af cuz i thought things were going good?#yeah. i just. i want to explore my options yk now that ive uh figured out i like men.#and its a clean break. not dramatic or messy. t tells him to call if he every changes his mind. buck wont.#bucks trying to not pry about eddies new friend and he doesnt grill eddie or anyone and just waits and listens to all the new info he gains#and eventually eddie invites him out to watch another game because whatever team they were watching made it to the playoffs#and when he gets there eddies like. no t tonight?#nah we. uh. we broke up.#eddie says sorry man that sucks. and the new guy is like. honestly he didnt even seem that into you which what an idiot. youre great.#and its good because the new guy splits his attention between the two of them now. eddie isnt the only one getting hands and grins and eyes#and the third time theyre at the bar the guy follows him to bathroom and kisses him hard against the door before pulling back with a#panicked sorry and leaving and when buck finds eddie after hes like. what happened? new guy ran out of here without even saying goodbye#he kissed me in the bathroom. i think uh. i think he was kinda freaking out about it and thats why he left.#and eddie just blinks at him before being like. buck. buck you said you werent going to do this again.#i didnt mean to! and buck means it. he just saw the way that guy made eddie laugh and put his hands on eddie and had eddies attention and#oh.
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phagodyke · 5 months ago
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 1 year ago
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i dont know much about trigun but i think it would be silly if vash and knives (they are brothers?) or vash and wolfwood (lovers? enemies? idk) were drawn like that barbie and ken mugshot meme. From what you post Mr Vash Stampede just seems like ken. little silly guy
YOU HAVE THE MOST PERFECT TIMING WITH THIS EVER I'm literally in the middle of drawing a picture of knives and vash that looks like this.
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theyre brothers your honor
#i would draw the whole meme but i simply do not have the energy for it tonight#the phrase mr the stampede has been stuck in my head all night hehe u just reminded me of it#drawing vashs tristamp hair is soooo painful to me. i miss the spikey. unfortunately i am doing a style swap thing with this so i have to#sigh </3#hiiii louis this made me smile hehe thank u#also ive seen like 3 ppl do that meme with vashwood already so the fact that u included knives makes me happy :]#(<< guy who is having a category 12 emotional about millions knives moment tonight)#theyre BROTHERS. theyre brothers.....#i love the idea that after canon knives calms down and stops trying 2 kill everybody bc he realizes#oh i dont want to commit genocide actually. i just need therapy.#but like. he and vash are still both wanted criminals because. gestures at the events of trigun. all that#so its just. silly antagonistic brother adventures. i keep thinking abt that one drawing someone did of them comparing wanted posters#its so silly and its so important to meeeeeee.#knives just needs to smoke some weed and play Minecraft for a few hours and he'll calm down.#hes just got undiagnosed autism and a metric ton of childhood trauma. its fine#sorry i kind of went off on u there. I'm having trigun emotions tonight. if u couldn't tell#making this unrebloggable because its a wip <3 sorry kings#my sketches are sooooo ugly . u get the idea tho#asks#friends!!!#din0draws#shrimp fried rice#also. other file names blurred bc its a spoiler for another ask I'm answering soon. lmao
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emlos · 1 year ago
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:DDD
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lovsome · 1 year ago
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just gonna vent for a sec please dont mind me
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amatres · 2 years ago
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okay i know ive talked about changing inquisition entirely to be a mixture of asunder and the masked empire instead but like listen
you start the game being informed of the vote for separation is in a day or two at most and that the divine is going to be visiting, you can chose you class or race and that affects your connection to why you're here and you get different dialogue from npcs. you could be a mage from the circle, a simple servant in the place to cook and make sure things are clean, a 😔templar recruit 😔, someone who snuck in for illegal reason (making sure the lyrium trade isn't going to be affected). you probably couldn't fit in a dalish elf pc but you could a city elf! i'd love to play another city elf, and it makes the andrastianism a bit more bearable bc you have more room to believe in the maker instead of just being a kidnapped dalish person who doesn't want to be there
you get involved in investigating the tranquility cure for reasons depending on your background, or by accident while you're investigating something else (is this going to interfere with the lyrium trade) and run into the ppl who Are investigating it. you meet the 'ghost' cole, who only you the player can see for some reason, Or maybe you meet him after the explosion which is also fun. you are stuck with evangeline as your escort, adrian is girlbossing with you. you find the fucked up shit with pharamond and bring it back, causing the mages to vote en masse for freedom because What The Fuck
then it's all crashed by corypheus showing up. stuff is on fire, the possessed wardens are there, fiona is yelling at them bc what the fuck. the pc stays behind for one reason or another while everyone is evacuated and escapes, maybe they sacrifice themselves to buy others time, maybe they get separated from the others by mistake, and in the distance they hear a woman screaming for help. you go there and find the divine being soul sucked by the orb in cory's hand, you interrupt the process, and grab the orb not knowing what it is. explosion and youre in the fade, you can chose to either try to save the divine or not, but she always is left behind.
you emerge out of the ruins and everyone's asking what happened, wheres the divine. you begin to hear ppl accuse you of killing her, and the few companions you had get you away from that and now you're on the run
some random elf dude approaches you as you realize this weird mark that the weird orb you touched left behind is like Really hurting you, and somehow he makes it manageable? wild but then he tells you he believes you and will help you and you just gotta go 'okay' bc you have no allies and can't be picky here, and now you have to find some way to make ppl believe you while everything is burning as you realize orlais outside the vote is now falling into civil war and you have to deal with possibly resolving that on top of convincing everyone this corypheus dude is real
okay its just sounding kinda like origins retextured to be orlais and with mages and templars and also wardens gone possessed by this weird ass dude somehow? instead of ferelden and with darkspawn lol but i like it it could have been fun
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chiropterx · 2 years ago
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I'm sorry to bring up another Jurassic Park comparison but I remembered this scene from the third movie and couldn't help but feel it would very much be something Man-Bat would pull.
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running-in-the-dark · 2 years ago
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if there's one thing I hate it's nurses who treat you like a child or an inconvenience when you're in pain despite them insisting you shouldn't be.
no, I can't sit on the side of the bed to eat my soup, sitting up hurts like hell and I don't care that you don't think it does. it does. I know it does because it's my body and I feel the pain, so what the fuck is that about?! I had surgery this morning, there's a wound in my belly button, so it's going to hurt for a bit, I'm not being dramatic or anything!
the weirdest part is that I didn't complain or say anything, I just started sitting up very slowly to eat, and she felt the need to treat me like I'm an idiot for being in pain 🤷
she also rolled her eyes and made an annoyed noise when I showed that I was in pain during and after she gave me the injection to prevent blood clots. lady, I don't know what your problem is but that shit hurts like hell for me, every single time I've gotten it, and it keeps hurting for over an hour. so I'm going to fucking wince a little and you're just gonna have to learn to deal with that without being an asshole.
it's like there's two categories of nurses - the ones that are incredibly sweet and kind and caring, who apologise if something they do hurts and are calm and understanding when you show that you're in pain. and the ones that are completely dismissive and treat you like you're a fucking idiot for every single question, statement or reaction.
#the one who said this has generally been really unfriendly and harsh#the nurse who was here when I came in this morning was SO nice though so I really hope she'll be working tonight or tomorrow morning#and I might complain (a little) about this one when the doctors come in tomorrow morning... or at least mention that she keeps being rude#like. this is the ward for people who just had surgery so how can you be that dismissive and rude about this??#anyway lol I can handle this behaviour now#last time this happened in I think 2019 I had a breakdown after one specific nurse kept treating me exactly like this#sorry but if you're such a huge bitch maybe you shouldn't work with people. especially not patients.#I've vented and now I feel better lol so it's fine now. and I should be going home on Sunday anyway so I won't have to deal with her for#too long#personal#tw medical#tw hospital#oof this just reminded me that the shitty nurse in 2019 actually told me to stop overreacting and being a baby when that stupid injection#hurt me. like??? why?? even if I was the only person who ever experienced pain during that (which I don't think is the case) that still#wouldn't give anyone the right to treat me like that?? over simply making an involuntary sound and shedding a couple tears#it's not like I said anything to her or was angry at her. it's so stupid#at least this time the lovely old lady I'm sharing a room with said after this that she thinks it's surprising that I can even sit up at#all so soon after surgery. that felt nice
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