#anyway anyway anyway. i think i shall just take a break from posting stuff because feeling a little disheartened! and uncomfortable

[sportsthoughts]

.

[nativegirltapes]

angel and drew while on a ......."break"......

notes: ask and you shall receive! angel lowkey look like a bitch in this + this is kind of long for hcs, but i think u guys like the drama so i really wanted to try and cover most bases. if you want me to clarify or maybe even make a part 2 lmk ! <3

honestly, they’re on “breaks” quite frequently due to angel’s impulsive nature. in the spur of the moment when she’s upset she’ll tell drew “don’t contact me! don’t talk to me! i need time!” and storm off in the car he’s literally paying for. sometimes he’ll try to follow after her, but sometimes if it’s something stupid she’s upset about, he usually just gives her time because he knows she’ll come around.

but when it’s an actual break from one another (because of all the odessa drama), they’re both going through it. angel is sad but is also taking more time to focus on school because she thinks it’s all she really has aside from drew. she isolates herself from almost everyone, besides frat guys she invites over to hopefully fill some void? which void? she’s not sure. she never actually does anything with them, kind of just trying to prove to herself that she can have anyone she wants and she doesn’t need drew. but how is that benefitting literally anyone? again, she’s not sure.

drew doesn’t really isolate when you’re on a break because he does enough of that on normal days. drew tries to spend more time with his friends, specifically his guy friends. he’ll invite them over or go over to their houses. his friends will ask how you guys are doing and drew never ever wants to paint you as a bad person, even when you are on a break for a “pointless” reason, he’ll just lie and say “she’s going through some stuff right now so we’re just kinda taking a break right now, you know?” he’s the sweetest to you, even when you’re not exactly together :((

they both have nights where they really miss each other so they’ll just call each other and ask if they want to see each other, they never say no. it’s kind of an unspoken rule for the both of them; if one calls saying they want to see the other, you can’t say no (but it’s not like they want to say no anyways). it’s so silly because whenever they do this it’s kind of awkward. they’re making small talk because they’re both too stubborn to make it seem like they “care” again. but eventually they both give in and it usually ends in a heavy makeout sesh. “this doesn’t mean we’re back together you know?”

angel is so petty so sometimes she’ll post pictures of her out and about (partying) on her instagram stories and purposefully have guys in her pics because she knows drew will see it. when she realizes that drew seen it but didn’t say anything she’s throwing a fit. but in all honesty, drew doesn’t even care that much. he knows angel’s tactics and knows that she wouldn’t dare do anything.

there’s a lot of late night phone calls where they usually get pretty deep, asking each other if they should just break up for good/a longer period of time. angel is always like “i want this to work drew.” and drew is like “i’m giving you the space you want. what more do you need?” he’s too sweet. angel is so messy though because she knows she has no intentions to break up with drew ever, she just loves causing a scene.

i feel like the worse drew would do when they’re on a break is hang out with one of his girl friends one on one. and while no, there’s no romantic intentions, he still would never tell angel that. he’s just able to decipher platonic and romantic whereas angel’s insane ass is not ………. kind of.

angel is shitposting on every platform she has, especially her finsta and tiktok. sometimes when she’s feeling extra fiesty she’ll even remove drew as a follower just so she can make him “overthink”, but because he’s an old man, he literally do not gaf! half the time it’s just her ranting or talking about her day since she’s used to sharing everything about her day with drew :(

[o-uncle-newt]

A guide to John Finnemore (in particular his Double Acts) for the Good Omens S2 lovers, haters, and everyone in between (I promise, there's something for all of you!)

Found this in my drafts recently and honestly, I feel this is evergreen, so here y'all go:

As I mentioned semi-facetiously in my previous post, I don't care whether you loved or hated Good Omens S2- you're probably sleeping on John Finnemore. He's a super talented writer and while he's collaborated with other writers like Mitchell and Webb and Armando Iannucci before, I still think his best stuff is his solo stuff.

But where to start? Behold! I shall now recommend a different Double Act (that is, a different episode of his radio series of excellent half-hour two-hander comedies) for every kind of person who has reacted in literally any kind of way to Good Omens.

If you love stories about two people working on opposite sides in a conflict who over time break down each other's defenses to become valued friends despite the continued conflict between their sides, with some queer undertones: Unquestionably you want S2 E4, Penguin Diplomacy

If you loved Good Omens S2 because it's quiet, gentle, and romantic: S1 E6, Hot Desk

If you like quiet, gentle and romantic in principle but wish there was a bit more plot structure: Still Hot Desk

If you like quiet, gentle and romantic but watched Good Omens S2 and were like "this is quiet, gentle and romantic?!?!": DEFINITELY still Hot Desk

If you hate quiet, gentle and romantic and want something darker and more cynical: S1 E3, Red Handed

If you were meh on S2 but did find yourself enjoying the Job minisode: FREE ROLL! You can choose any Double Act at random and will probably enjoy it.

If you loved Good Omens S2 because you love characters who give off vibes of being dim yet helpful: Well, really you want to meet Arthur in Cabin Pressure, but from Double Acts you'll do great with S2 E5, Here's What We Do, and in a very different way S2 E2, Mercy Dash

If you loved Good Omens S2 because lesbians: S2 E3, The Rebel Alliance

If you like lesbians in theory but wish that Good Omens S2 had maybe sketched out theirs a bit more: Still try Rebel Alliance

If you were annoyed by the minisodes because there wasn't enough old-timey dialogue in the olden-day bits: S1 E4, The Goliath Window

If you like the Victorian minisode because you like the era: check out S2 E1, The Queen's Speech, which literally has Queen Victoria in it

If you think that Crowley making gentle fun of Aziraphale's magic tricks is entertaining: try S2 E6, The Wroxton Box

If you like relationship dynamics where one half is trying/pretending to be cool and the other one has absolutely no interest in it and likes the first half just how they are: try Here's What We Do

If you enjoy the whole corporate-nonsense aspect of Good Omens: give S1 E2, WYSINNWYG a whirl

If you think that one of the main flaws of S2 was that it didn't have Mr Young in it anymore: S1 E1, A Flock of Tigers

If you like Good Omens because you like fandom and fanfic: S1 E5, English for Pony Lovers

And, if you love the idea of a cliffhanger but also want the satisfaction of knowing there's an amazing ending coming: Wait on Double Acts and just listen to Cabin Pressure. And when you get to the end of Yverdon-les-Bains, before you move on to Zurich just take a moment to remember all of us who nearly died for two years waiting for the finale.

Anyway, happy listening!

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Semantic Error | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter 6

Based off of Semantic Error (bl) by J Soori Summary: Jungkook invites you over to work on the game but you but it's hard to focus when he's around Pairing: Techie inexperienced fem!reader x Artist fuck boy Jungkook Work Count: 1.9k~ a/n: So so sorry I've taken a longer break between posting but let me know what you think about this chapter ;) hardly edited but I figured I would get it out anyway Read from the beginning

I couldn't pay attention in class thanks to him. His stupid voice with his stupid flirting and his stupid face then to top it off having all of that up close and personal made my stupid brain go into overdrive, losing what little space I had left to combat his antics. I hate that he can make me feel like this. And for what? Because he called me pretty? More specifically used it as a pet name, which somehow amplifies the meaning, sending my sense of reason for a spin. I huff audibly as I gather my things and get ready to head out to meet 'he who shall not be named' at this point. I just need to leave class, work there for a few hours and then go home. Simple as that. 

"You okay?" I hear behind me in a semi familiar voice. I turn around perplexed as to who the voice could belong to and see the guy I had helped the other day. " I'm fine" I say and turn back around to continue packing up my belongings. "It's Jimin, we met the other day when you helped me carry all of the music books" he says, not sure if I would need the reminder. "I know" I say plainly and make my way out of the classroom. "Hey, where you headed?" he asks following me without a care in the world. "I'm done for the day so I'm going to go work on something" I say giving him the bare minimum, hoping he won't prod further but unfortunately that's not the case.

"What are you working on?" he asks, clearly curious but also kind of not, seeming happy to simply be making conversation with me for some reason. "A video game application" I say and leave the building with him trailing behind. "Oh wow that's really cool! I had no idea you were into that stuff" he says, clearly shocked learning what I'm capable of but blowing it somewhat out of proportion. It's not as hard as it seems but many people tend to lack the concentration, let alone have the desire to learn.

"Yeah well, bye" I say and walk a bit faster, heading towards the gates. "Wait, I could walk you to where you need to go. I'm done for the day as well" he says jogging a few steps to catch up to me. "That won't be necessary" I say and continue onto my destination but he walks with me anyways. "Why are you following me?" I ask, finally stopping to look at him and see what his goal with all of this is. 

"I just want to make sure you get to your destination safely" he says giving me a sweet smile. "She's safe with me" that stupid voice that I wasn't expecting to hear so soon says while taking hold of my hand. "Oh hey hyung, I didn't know you and y/n were working together" Jimin says, greeting Jungkook. "Well now you do" he says and then we all stand there in somewhat of an awkward silence until I pull my hand out of Jungkook's grasp. "Let's go" I demand and continue to walk towards the gates. "Bye y/n" I hear Jimin say behind me and I decide not to acknowledge it. "See you" Jungkook says to Jimin before following my lead. 

"Do you guys hang out often?" he says falling into step with me and guides us towards his studio. "No we don't and why didn't you just wait for me like I told you to?" I question still feeling uncomfortable from the situation I had been put into moments ago. "Because I wanted to walk with you, plus this way I could make sure you wouldn't run off or get lost. I promise next time I'll just wait for you to come" he says pressing the button at the crosswalk for us. "Whatever" I say under my breath, fixing the strap on my backpack but before I can settle it back into place I feel it being take off of me.

"Hey! What are you doing?" I say looking over at, surprise surprise you guessed it Jeon Jungkook now carrying my bag. "Give it back!" I say reaching for it but before I'm able to reach it he starts walking down the street, showing me it's time for us to cross. "Hey!" I yell after him but all he does is continues to hold it out of my reach. "Just let me carry it for you" he says, slinging it across his shoulder and widening his strides leaving me trailing behind him without much of an option to do otherwise. 

Once we get to his studio I'm met with another girl around our age blasting her music throughout the place and popping the bubble she just blew in her gum. "Hey Yuna!" Jungkook shouts, trying to be heard over the music. "Yuna!" he yells again and decides to just walk up to her to grab her attention. "So much for keeping to herself" I mumble under my breath. "Oh hey, sorry I was totally spacing out. Is this the girl you were talking to me about? You work in the computer science department right?" she asks, zeroing in on me. "Something like that" I say walking further into the room, taking a look at how messy it is.

 "Oh yeah sorry about the mess, things have been really hectic around here" Jungkook says walking over to his desk and clearing off some more space for me. "Pick up that trash first, and put away those books and..." I list off some ways to reorganize the studio into a more suitable working environment. "Clean up your desktop too. Seeing all the icons on the screen is giving me anxiety" I say and he surprisingly does everything that I've asked him to do without much trouble at all. 

"What did you do to him?" Yuna whispers to me, clearly impressed by how well he's following my instructions."I didn't really do anything. I told him that if this wasn't a suitable working environment for me that he would be working on this project solo" I say stating the facts. "Wow" she says not believing it, "Well I'm gonna get back to work, good luck" she says, amused at the dynamic already. 

"Hey" I say getting her attention before she gets back to work. "Can you please uses those headphones you have beside you? It'll be hard to concentrate with your music blaring in my ears" I say and go back to watching as Jungkook completes the list. Hearing what I've said Jungkook comes over to Yuna's desk and nicely puts her headphones on her so there's no argument to be had and she simply blinks at my sudden change in attitude towards her but goes back to work without another word.

I sit down next to him and place my laptop down on the desk and take a deep breath, opening it and turning it on after taking one more quickly glance around the place. "Begin" I say and he starts to open up one of his drawing programs and sketches out some various characters and background ideas while I continue to piece together the code for the whole thing. 

"How's it going?" he says after a bit looking over at my screen, interested in what actually goes into working on the behind the scenes stuff. "It's going" I say and continue typing the various strings of code working out how the character moves around the different environments. "Oh okay" he says, taking that as a sign of me not wanting to continue the conversation. "How are things going on your end?" I ask and lean over to look at his screen and I can see how he almost lights up at my question in my peripheral vision but decide to ignore it. 

He turns his screen towards me a bit so I can sit back a bit into a more comfortable position and explains all of the different outfits and ideas for power up items and he thoughts about what can be added to the storyline. "Yeah everything looks okay, but I don't want to settle for okay. You need to change this, it looks too crazy, I want something a bit neater" I say pointing out different flaws in almost all of his designs. 

"You do realize these are just the rough drafts?" he says rubbing his temples after going through and changing things as I give him one critique after the other. "Yes but I thought your work would look a bit better than this compared to what you've shown me before"I state pointing out a few more things to change. "Okay I need a break" he says standing up and stretching before laying down on the couch and pulling one of the blankets over him. 

"What are you doing? We've only been working for two hours" I say confused as to why he would need a break this early. "Exactly, it's been two hours and I'm tired, just give me like fifteen minutes and I'll start cleaning up the designs" he says and turns over giving his back to me and settling in to take a power nap. I roll my eyes at him and just decide to just go back and continue what I had been working on before I started checking up on his designs. 

Getting lost in work I notice that it's been almost thirty minutes instead of the promised fifteen and try to call him over to get back to work. "Jungkook wake up" I say but it seems to have no effect on him so I groan and get up and walk towards where he's laying down and find him laying on his back, sound asleep. With the position he's reclined in I'm given a full view of his face, leaving me a chance to study his features for a second. 

He really is attractive, I can't deny that but that cocky attitude he has on him turns me off. His flirting is a different story though, feeling myself starting to blush again. I kneel next to the couch to see if he's really sleeping but it really does seem like he's still passed out. I brush the bit of hair that has fallen into his face back a bit and lean towards him a little bit. "You're really sleeping right?" I say and still he lays still, not making a sound and an unknown force pushes me closer to him and I end up placing a light kiss on his lips. 

I pull back and cover my lips with a hand after realizing what I've done and quickly but quietly pack up my things and leave. I open the door and am met with the sight of Yuna coming down to hallway back towards the studio. "Oh y/n you're still here. Is everything okay?" she says clearly noticing the almost panicked look on my face and blush slowly creeping up on my cheeks. "Yes never better. Please tell Jungkook I'm going home when he wakes up" I say and without another word run down the hall and out the onto the street making my way towards my apartment as quickly as humanly possible.  

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[jmdbjk]

Bangtan weekly report

Lordt, what a week, what a month, what a year? It's September, we're on the downhill slide.

I've been busy, y'all. You know, life happens and all that crap we say when we have to focus on stuff that's not as fun as staring at the latest naked Bangtan pics... anyway... there is A LOT to process, A LOT to even sit down and catch up on.

Let's break it down shall we?

It was JK's b-day and he first tried to TikTok live us and you know, I hope he can't figure it out to his satisfaction because there's no replay and no translations so fuck TikTok and I mean that in a nice way. Thank god for Armys who record and translate.

And he dropped this tiny but significant TMI:

We know he's building that big whatever it is. It will be a while before he leaves his current residence...or? What? Moving elsewhere until he enlists? He mentioned in one of his more recent past lives that he had to clean up some of his junk in his apartment... soooo.... hmmm....

Also, this:

Acting research? I'm loving the sound of whatever that is.

Thankfully he came to visit us on Weverse live as well, did a few card tricks and cut it short, one of the shortest lives he's done in years and years? Were the aces a hint? Or just part of his magic trick?

Adorable goofball. By the way, the subs are up on this live.

He was out and about before the live, taking pics on the street, he's said he doesn't mind at all, running into fans in public and saying hello.

It's the people who claim to be fans who stalk him and show up uninvited to places where he's trying to live his life in private. Whoever you all are, I'll speak for Kookie. Y'all suck.

In Busan, when he was with his idol friends, they were asked if they were who they were by the restaurant employee and they tried to deny it. That should be a big hint to leave them alone.

Kookie shared a video on his TikTok in solidarity and support of RM speaking out about the uncalled for hate that came RM's way after he posted that song on his Instagram story.

You know... there's been quite a lot of discourse lately about culturally sensitive topics. Tae's "gaffe" and this song that RM shared... I think if you felt offended or uncomfortable when you saw those things happen, those feelings are your own and 100% valid.

Being of Japanese descent, through my life, it has made me cringe when I hear people call stuff "Jap crap" or just yesterday, a canvasser for a political candidate asked me if I was from around here... like... if I was blonde and blue-eyed would they have asked me that? You know? I was speaking to them exactly like I speak here, fully fluent in (Southern U.S. redneck) English because that's my only language (sadly, no thanks to mom and dad because I did not learn Japanese or French). But I don't get obsessed or angry or want to threaten anyone's careers or life. I don't even think about it. And I don't really hold it against people who are not aware of how they come across like that.

People are insensitive all the time without knowing it: asking a woman when they are due but she's not pregnant and maybe can't even have children... mentioning other culturally derogatory terms without realizing it (see "Jap crap" above), saying something looks "gay" like... ok what does that even mean?... you know what I'm saying? I use the term "spirit animal" all the time and someone DM'd me saying it was offensive. So we're all guilty.

I get it, we're all different in how we react. BUT MY FEELINGS ARE VALID TOO, AND MY REACTION IS MY OWN AND DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THE SAME AS YOURS TO YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE.

As I said, feelings are valid, and the members aren't perfect and it's okay to call them out on it. But the extra implication that was piled on Namjoon for that song rec crossed the line and he addressed it in his own live.

Exasperated he explained that it was just a song and that he knows exactly what everyone is saying, that he's a 30 year old man and can express himself freely. He said even if there will still be those who will accuse him of lying, he can't and won't lie to us.

I love him: "For ten years I've held things in my heart but nowadays I can't do that, I have to speak my truth. Believe my own words."

Before he got into it though he offended the mathematicians and then tried to back track (omg I'M JOKING ok?... unless someone got offended... omg, can we just chill?)

His 2-day old stubble and fuzzy headed self.

The obsession people have with their weight and their looks is mind-blowing. The way he's drilled in the comments on his face, his hair, about admitting he's tanning, how much he weighs, what he eats, he looks tired... This man has an IQ of 160 or whatever and people are worried about a mosquito bite on his forehead. The vapidness and shallow level of interaction in the comments knows no limit. But we've known that. Please, before commenting can people please make a list of things to speak on other than how they look?

He closed by saying to trust him, he'll always show us what's inside of him whether its his music or him as a human... life is a journey with a lot of obstacles, he's good and focusing on his own things and not on the bad energy. He is in such a good head space nowadays... love to see it.

Next up, Taehyungie-hyung...dis my fave pic out of everything I've seen so far:

I am not a fan of Tae in blonde hair, I've said that before. But this particular shot is stunning to me, the lighting and angle.

As you know, I've not paid as close attention to Tae. Honestly I've been waiting for him to share things during this solo time so I can get to know him better just like I did with the other members.

Up until now, everything he does seems superficial EXCEPT the deliberate soft reveal of his relationship with Jennie, which I hope they are doing well and navigating the shitty waters of having to be idols in a relationship.

But so far, its photo spread after photo spread and I'm just not into it. Yes, Tae is very photogenic. I'm sure V biases are over the moon. I'm happy for them! If it was Jimin you would be sick of me posting every photo, so I get it! But I was looking for something a little deeper from him.

So it was this Dingo show that his personality opened up a little to me somewhat... interacting with this Army who's dream is to become a Military Officer. She is the cutest thing, her reactions so genuine and I could feel her excitement and how she was overwhelmed at the end of their day together when she broke down. Girl was holding it in and living the life that day!!! Sooo happy she got to experience that!

And these pics are the cutest:

This one right above with her hands on his shoulders... such a precious memory. I am looking forward to hearing the rest of Tae's album. I'm sure I'll have things to say about it at that time.

And that brings me to Jimin. The jikook selca not withstanding, we haven't seen or heard from him in ages so after 2 months, 15 days, 23 hours, 8 minutes and some odd seconds (but who was counting? not me)... we finally see him again in person at a Dior event in Seoul.

He looked so good, except that tan leather coat reminded me of something 50s vintage, car coat over a sheath dress women wore in the springtime. He's small. Let's put a giant white garbage bag on him. Don't know what goes through their minds.

Dior creates some extraordinarily crafted pieces, but so far, I sometimes wonder if they've even bothered to look at any of Jimin's previous photo concepts for other various things. It's almost like they don't know how to dress him. That's just my personal opinion.

Anyway..AND THEN HE COMES LIVE!!! FINALLY!!!

Is that a Red Dragon keyboard he has in front of his computer? I don't really know anything about gaming stuff. And goodness...

He gets comfy by tying up those pants that look like four of him (or him and Kookie) could fit in there at the same time...

His eye crinkles... I don't care what people say about his beakie... I'm all about the eye smile and those eye crinkles that are going to get deeper with time.

Y'all, this is my bias...

That mood light of the realistic solar system makes Jungkookie's mood light look like child's play. But I see why his moons down his back look like they do.

I know some of the first translations say he called Jungkook for his birthday and he talked about wanting to live his 30s just as full as his 20s, and he's learning through his solo work that he has things to learn and he will improve and I just don't have enough or the right words to express how much I love and admire his perseverance and dedication to being the best at what he does and the best human he can be. I will do a full blog post when the official subs are ready later this week.

I don't know how this guy from the other side of the world got so completely under my skin:

I know there was a lot of other content that dropped that I didn't touch on but there aren't enough hours in my day to type it all up. I will just continue to watch and absorb as much as I can just like everyone else.

Jin and Hobi are still plugging away at their respective bases, I always pray for their safety and health while they are doing their duty. In a few months, Jin may show us what it will be like to celebrate birthdays while they are enlisted.

And Yoongi. We wait as the days tick by. We know its coming very soon. Holding my Yoongi bias friend's hand very tightly. We'll get through this together.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Attention TADC fans!

I'm officially opening requests for characters! Below the cut will be my base list of rules in regards to requesting and that sort of thing!

To everyone who followed me for creepypasta, do not fret! Creepypasta is still this blogs default and I'm not going to stop writing it for the forseeable future, I will still be responding to creepypasta based asked in the meantime

oh also, im adding this right before i post this but i do have fluff alphabet requests open for creepypasta, but to my TADC fans, how do you guys feel about the possibility of me reposting that list and letting you guys ask for it? im still kinda itching to do alphabet stuff... let me know ! ill probably do it anyways but i want yalls input!

without further delay:

RULES:

please do not spam requests, i know it will be hard to enforce this on my end since i want to keep anon enabled since i know it can be intimidating to ask for stuff non-anonymously

since the main cast + caine only totals to 7 characters i will allow people to request the entire cast in any given request, WITH THE KNOWLEDGE that the more characters the shorter their list of hcs will be

please do not pester me to answer your request, i will very likely answer your initial ask. consistent breaking of this boundary will result in warning, and if further boundary breaking takes place, the request will be terminated

^SHOULD NOTE! sometimes tumblr eats the requests you guys send in so simply asking if your request made it through is 100% totally fine!! I'm specifically talking about people who try to pressure me to answer sooner, I want to make that clear because I do not want to discourage anyone from reaching out about that sort of thing

Reader is GN by default, you can request a specific gender but know it likely wont be important due to my writing style

WILL WRITE:

SFW, angst, comfort, hcs, short imagines and scenarios!

As mentioned I will do all characters, asides Bubble since I don't think there's much that can be done for them

Poly, LGBT, readers with disabilities and/or disorders (will let it be known here that i am in no way well versed in every disability/disorder, however i will attempt to do basic research for the request)

I am also comfortable with writing platonic requests and found family dynamics! I am not limiting myself and you guys to romantic stuff!

reader abstracting, while this may seem contradictory to some of the things in my will not write segment I have written about grief and loss before and I don't think it fully fits the category of what I won't write + death in general, so it shall get a pass

really there isnt much i will turn down that comes to mind, if something is breaching a line or making me uncomfortable i will let you know

reader inserts, ocs, and the like are all welcome here! im not too confident with oc x character stuff due to the simple fact that i fear i may interpret your oc wrong but i am still willing to try!

WILL NOT WRITE:

general problematic stuff is an immediate no

^so like, straight up abuse and abuse adjacent topics since as far as Im aware all the characters in TADC are adults (if I have that wrong please please correct me!!)

i am also iffy on yandere requests, this one is more on a case by case basis so please be sure to specify the intensity of it, since that will really be a make or break for whether or not if the request is accepted

NSFW, this blog is for the most part SFW. I occasionally vague certain aspects, however nothing is ever explicit. That's how far I'm willing to go with these things and I want to keep it that way

Full fledged fanfics; a lot of my scenarios/imagines tend to border on that just on a much shorter scale and in a slightly different format, but I am not totally confident in my ability to write proper fics :(

no graphic depictions of gore or self harm, and i ask that you keep that out of my inbox in general. topics like SH are allowed, however covering requests for the act of it as its happening is an automatic no (IE if you ask me to walk in on a character walking in during an act of self harm), the same applies to suicide

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

i have a nasty habit of not proofreading my stuff, so grammar and spelling mistakes are bound to happen unfortunately. this tends to be a worse issue when im posting on mobile (which i am doing less and less since i like typing on a keyboard more)

^ on top of that i struggle with writing, english is my first language but i have a hard time getting stuff out right on top of having dyslexia so please be patient

i typically tend to respond to requests fairly fast, typically within a day or two, though i do have some periods where it may take longer. (possible) same day delivery YAHOO!!

back to a forewarning, i have a habit of rambling and adding additional ideas and concepts into a request though for the most part i think i remain on topic (that just means you get a little extra content for your request ueueue)

[lucabyte]

HOWDY! *slams pile of papers on the desk* i have Inquiries. OKAY SO-

1.) i know the bridge between infurno and purrgatorio is Ali realizing they cant leave, so like, whats pawradisio???

2.) wtf happens ta Ali durin the 'age ???' section of their design timeline. what type cult stuff do they get involved w and how. its haunting me i needa know

3.) whats with the 3 year memory erasing thing in that one ali purrgatorio relationship chart. Really funny chart ive shared it w a few friends but also im staring intently at it like Huh What O_O

4.) what is mymk's final form? is it gonna be written, a comic, etc?

5.) got any music you associate w any mymk characters/ali? besides like, in canon reasons like Chrome more like any songs/artists/lyrics that remind u of anya em :0??

anyway yeah huge fan! also hope ur vacation's fun!

Hehe hi :)

1. We shall get there when we get there <3 my lips are sealed. Though I will say, there are further books by Dante one can animal-pun the titles of... Though they aren't part of the divine comedy..... (Alludes vaguely to plans that will inevitably take me years)

2. Okay so spoilers for Creature Feature, Ali's home setting (and @samhainian's thing) (because this is all a bit of an open secret) but Ali is, as I've alluded to previously, an Antagonist.

Creature Feature is a real world adjacent setting, set in our modern day, only with all manner of monsters and cryptids living secretly alongside humans. Ali lives in Wraithbrook, a hidden town populated primarily by monsters (albeit, most everyone still upholds a disguise, just in case). Being a (very) small town with an effectively captive population.... The post-high-school ennui tends to set in bad for people. Hope you enjoy the family businesses, kids.

So... This leaves the listless vulnerable. And boy is Ali a bit malleable. A trusted figure in their life takes advantage of this, part of an accellerationist group looking to break these confines, having singled them out as candidate for their most recent attempt to mold a magic user into a weapon to shatter the veil. And, well, if you've got a self-hating isolated guy who is predisposed to a bit of Catholicism already... Why not utilise the concept of the antichrist? They will be bringing a world together, in a way... And when you've been around as long as some immortal librarians have, doing a little bit of time dilation in the later stages of indoctrination isn't thaaaaat hard... Sooooo....

(But don't worry. They get better. Eventually. At least they look it. Everything is A-OK!!!)

(as for if purrgatorio is canon to this timeline....? Yes! But in a fucked up way! Can't make it too easy for the little guy....)

3. Okay so I was coy literally a sentence ago but yeah purrgatorio is set dead on like.. at the exact same time MYMK proper *should* start. Thus, it cannot exist at the same time as the main story... Ali's narrative powers keep them from being subsumed by the universe and just becoming a funny animal themselves.

But should a time come where Ali is *gone*, and the world is similar enough to the moments before they arrived? Well, the narrative can just pretend the time hasn't passed! Just, don't think too hard about your count of how many Halloweens and Christmasses you've had doesn't really line up....

(A normal person would simply name Purrgatorio noncanon, but hey, if Ali's whole thing is that they manipulate reality like a Narrative... Well. May as well use it! So once canon is over for both parties, things can start creeping back in. It's needlessly overcomplicated but I'm having fun)

4. Written with illustrations! An Online picture book, I suppose. I was initially damning myself to a comic, but after playing in the space with Purrgatorio, I realised I prefer prose. I'll probably write the thing in whole and then release it bit by bit as I work on the illustrations? I have a working outline as of right now and it's not a super long story lol. But its likely going to come after some practice with smaller projects like my reworking of Hazeclan and maybe Damonquest (name pending) (the latter featuring a cut main character of mymk lol)

So! ETA: a while. But we stay silly

5. OKAY.... so I can't link character playlists sadly since they don't exist (..... Yet.) and I'll stick primarily to our at present Purrgatorio cast.

I am like. Famously bad with identifying songs (<- usb stick full of songs on shuffle in the car as a kid) but I have been trying to put thought into this recently (my gold standard for this being my friend @teddymedley who's so good with character songs I did ask him for some vibe checks for this even)

So these are messy and some are like, inherited from earlier drafts of the characters so can be a bit off but I'll give a handful and their reasonings. (No links or embeds though I'm on mobile and Tumblr might eat my visibility if I do. I'll reply with some though)

[Ali Alighieri]

1. "Here comes the flood" by the Divine Comedy (self explanatory really, that animatic will exist someday I promise. This is THE big one to me, but @samhainian may have a different top spot opinion lol) Bonus: it has a demo version that also fucks supremely

2. "All the angels (demo)" by MCR. (Ali is not the MCR sibling, they're the P!ATD sibling. But I don't listen to panic lol)

3. "If you could save yourself you'd save us all" by Ween (peak "sorry what was that line just there?" song)

4. "In the meantime" by Spacehog (I like Spacehog. Everyone gets a spacehog song yaaay)

5. "Here comes the sun" cover by Ghost (not their style of music at ALL and you KNOW they're contrarian about the Beatles, but grim irony is such a vibe here)

[Chromium Mono]

1. "Manicure" by Lady Gaga (this is such a flippant "because I said so" choice lol)

2. "Let it grow" by Renaissance (this is such a nice cheesy song. I like to think of this as speaking to the actual nice loving guy chrome can be when he's not being a prickly bitch)

3. Kissing Ancaps by Patricia Taxxon (... GOD this song is way too cool or smart for chrome lol. It's a chrometab song to me because of the big words and cynicism. It's too modern and online for them but I'm attached to it... Also it contains a sample from let it grow)

4. "Run away with me" by Carly Rae Jepsen (more vibes based! Love some ms jepsen. But at least has a coherent theme wrt to eloping lol)

Bonus: oh god I really have to finish the voiceclaim video I was making. Premiere kept melting on me but I should probably let the world know chrome sounds like Donald Glover huh. The marshall lee to live action Simba pipeline.....

Bonus 2: @teddymedley suggested "Ratchet" by Bloc Party, with the phrasing "subject matter younger chrome sound older chrome" which I like!

[Tabitha Boss]

1. "Cable Rat King" by Gem Milsom (this one genuinely feels like a solid choice to me. It's polite and tentative and about depressive spirals, and is from the same album as the Number One Main Labyrinthine song, Pipes. That animatic will exist someday too I promise)

2. "This too shall pass" by OK GO (Preferably the brass band version. I think Tabitha would adore their videos, he'd be delighted by the moving parts and generally light tone. Also, Labyrinthine has a different "this too shall pass", being by Danny Schmidt)

3. "When will you die?" By TMBG (goofy song. But you get it.)

4. "Zeroes" by Spacehog (Spacehog again 👍)

Bonus: Jimmy buffet discography. He is living on island time baby

Bonus 2: @teddymedley assigned "Happy Hour" by Eels and I think the strange upbeat lethargic energy fits

[Lavender Wafeu]

Lavender is really funny because I honest to god don't think she listens to much music. This means I barely associate music with her apparently.

However @teddymedley did suggest "Black Rainbows" from Hawaii: Part 2, and I think that's better than any of my previous notes. Those previous notes being entirely the words "Little shop of horrors". She, Knives and Mafioso do also share an association with "Panda Hero" by Hachi but that's more visual to me?

I have however begun associating some Zelda OST tracks with her though... Hmmm....!

[Markus Felidae]

This poor bastard has shed and gained characterisation recently enough to have shook the MCR out of their system.... I don't have all that much for them.

Now. Hm. I think I'd have to go with some very on the nose musical tracks? My mind immediately goes to the opening track to Disney's Notre Dame, and maybe like, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer from Cats? These are such dreadful picks lol. Sorry buddy, characterisation overhaul syndrome. They probably also would listen to P!ATD same as Ali though so do with that what you will.

Bonus: in Markus' earliest iteration over 10 years ago..hrm. long story short, 121 guns is so fucking unfitting but it's lodged there forever lol

[Lupus Felidae]

Lupus is associated in my head with the kind of dub anime opening best codified by 4kids era Pokémon. Like the ideal song here is that one from Yugioh. "No matter what"? That kind of cheese and boyish power of friendship. "OK!!" From the JP endings of anipoke goes here too it's cute to me.

"I can go the distance" from Disney's Hercules is also up there for the same vibes. She's just silly and having fun!

Bonus: "Don't let's start" by TMBG is a Miao song to me, but in relation to her family. So it's also Lupus and Markus' by association.

[Ess Somil]

The idea of an ess playlist is hysterical to me. I feel like it's a Mother 3 battle theme in that man's head all the time. What's your time signature boy.

Anyway, "Numbers" by Neil Cicierega. Since it is overwhelming enough of a soundscape. Or just "Doctor Worm" by TMBG. For that they live in the soil.

.... And that's probably enough!!! This ask is very long now! Sorry it took a while to answer lmaooo. I've been very busy but it's been nice to chip away at during my downtime! Thank you so much for the questions :)

[faeriekit]

I just spent most of the day reading the trickery au (for the first time and lemme say? I'm very much in love (with the story, the characters, your *writing*, everything. Absolutely everything. I love them all so much)) and even though I was reading it all at once, I still got a bit lost with characters XD

I have no idea how you keep track of them all (*how* is your spreadsheet organized?? Plzzzzzz!!) I would love a (single time) character reminder thing of 'cabin' 'kids' 'parent if in hermes's cabin' because references are being made and I dont...know where exactly the info came from, so I can't look it up to check T.T (love all the minor god(desse)s you've tied in!)

Otherwise - curious about a couple things

1. Is Luke no longer getting nightmares? Thalia? (Didn't she get one or was it just anxiety? I thought I read she heard a whispering too at one point)

2. Was the masterbolt not stolen in this one? Bc I dont think that was actually addressed (the healm of darkness yes, but with the animosity between the underworld and Olympus, would hades have ever told them? Or I guess maybe he accused them and they picked it up from there?)

3. Cory? Did he ever get out of the gas station? (Or are we not meant to find out yet)

I love seeing how Percy's loyalty is tied to so many more people (especially Luke) and how thats changing so many things (he's a menace and I love him). I love how Luke is still angry, but how he's taking lessons from Sally in using that to get.things.done. (love that for him, its amazing, and I love him) (.....and pretty much all the characters. I love the new characters you've introduced us to (love that the number of girls has gone up!) And how they feel so *real*. They're not just....names to fill in space. They take up space as people and its amazing)

Anyways, this is getting very long so.....

XD

Okay one at a time:

Getting lost with the characters is super normal, haha. I tend to bring them up at random. That being said, I do post the chart when people ask, and update it about once a chronological year. The blacked out stuff is things you're not allowed to see yet. Ignore that. That being said, it is ONLY for the current cabin 11 kids, so any non-Hermes kids are in the wind. Metaphorically. Maybe also canonically. Luke is still shirtless.

IF you're looking for the research I use on the individual gods, though, I joyfully exploit theoi.com! Theoi dot com, for all your greek theological needs! (Nonsponsored)

Any dreams and or nightmares are on a plot basis! If you haven't seen any as of late, there haven't been any significant dreams. They are traumatized though. They probably have trauma dreams.

Yeah, weird how no one's mentioned the Master Bolt! Wonder what's up with that. 👀

All Cory things shall be revealed in time...probably. No, I have a plan. But. You know. Everything in its season.

Yeah, Luke's go-get-'em initiative with Sally's prioritization is truly a thing to behold. There are more girls because camp girls are scary, and I think no one on earth has ever done the feral nature of a girl released into the wilderness true justice. I was a little undiagnosed kid waiting for the world to make sense when a girl scout taught me how to break a man's arm. I hope she lives forever. That many kids? With minor superpowers? And ADHD? In a camp setting?? Chiron has to be the only reason this camp has not exploded in the last three hundred years.

Yeah, there are a lot of goddess moms, huh? I wonder if there should be more dads...but there aren't as many cool ones... Eros is cool but to be fair I decided he and his wife and Miranda's mom were all amicable in like the first ten minutes.

Thank you for writing in! Send as much as you want; no one's ever been angry for a lengthy write-in, haha. I love enthusiasm 😊

[babyspacebatclone]

I can’t believe it.

I can’t believe it.

I found it.

I found the fucking ABA textbook.

I found the thing that convinced me as a psychology undergrad that ABA was insane.

I can’t….

I can’t.

You don’t understand.

I’d almost convinced myself I was crazy, that I’d exaggerated this after a decade

But it exists, it was real.

This really was in the first fucking chapter. Of a book. Published in 2013.

This.

(This becomes a ramble, and not a cute raccoon version. Let’s add a cut for sanity.)

Edit: Let’s also move things around so this is discussable.

Please bear with me - this experience hurt me.

Context: Here is the Amazon ratings for this textbook:

4.5 out of 5 stars.

Reviews talk about its breezy, conversational nature, and how simply it breaks down behavioral principles.

This is true, and when I first encountered the book (then the 6th edition) in 2012 I was stymied.

The behavioral stuff made sense, and I could see the applications.

But the tone….. From that first chapter bashing Freud in the 2010s as though that were evidence about the efficacy of ABA, the philosophy of the textbook felt - arrogant, egotistical, dismissive of any other viewpoint in a way that was anathema to my personal therapy philosophy.

Then I realized the author had been 75 as I was reading it, and just chalked it up to him fighting a decades long fight he didn’t realize had been over - the need for scientific rigor in psychology - for decades.

Which made me confused as to why it was still being used without comment on the author’s… underlying batshitness, but I again chalked that up to the fact the grad assistant had to take over the course a third of the way through.

I just double checked, and the 3 ABA courses I took had been mandatory for my degree and not just recommended electives after the first because wow this fucking shit.

Anyway, my second of the ABA courses had been taught by an adjunct (someone who works in the field and teaches applicable courses), and made sense.

There was still some “everything’s programmed responses to external input” vibes, but that’s behaviorism and it felt more like a different philosophy I could respect but choose a different branch instead of a…. absolute that viewed me as an inferior being if I didn’t submit to their regal superiority.

In conclusion, I think the cognitive motivational theorists do psychology a service by raising the issue of avoidance contingencies in human affairs, but I think they get it almost completely wrong in stressing the suppressive effects of passive avoidance or punishment contingencies and generally ignoring the beneficial effects of active avoidance. In addition, I think they do our field a service by formally raising the issue of intrinsic reinforcers in human affairs, but again I think they get it almost completely wrong in suggesting that intrinsic reinforcers are all we need.

At the end of my rants, I like to add: Of course, this is only my opinion; and I could be wrong, but probably not. [emphasis added]

That is the actual fucking close of an actual fucking article Malott wrote in the early 2000s slamming on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

My mild misgiving about misunderstanding the intention of the textbook and the author???

Thrown out the fucking window in my third (and I repeat require course for my degree).

Which was taught by an equality elderly good personal friend of the author.

���

I have more I could add.

But I shall end this here.

This author is still treated as a member in good standing in respected ABA organizations.

After…. this bullshit just four years after the 7th edition of this “wonderful” textbook was published.

OG post below, only read the quoted section if you want to laugh, it’s fucking mid and doesn’t express why this individual is a piece of shit who should never have been allowed to fucking influence anyone, let alone be responsible for Autistic children, let alone teach people to fucking hate anyone not “perfectly logical” like oh so holy and superior them.

[begin quoted section]

WHY JUST A BEHAVIORAL VIEW?

Sid’s Seminar

MAX: I’ve been reading ahead, and it looks as if this book deals mainly with behavior analysis. It doesn’t say much about other approaches to psychology. Why not psychoanalysis, Freud, Piaget, information processing, cognitive psychology, humanistic psychology?

JOE: What do you expect? The title of the book is Principles of Behavior.

TOM: That may be the title of the book, but shouldn’t we be getting a broader view of the various psychological theories in this class?

SID: An interesting point. Psychology sure isn’t short on theories. We have Freud, Jung, Piaget, cognitive psychology, humanistic psychology, gestalt psychology...

JOE: The people in California produce a new pop theory almost every week.

SID: Here’s what I’ve found in teaching this course. I tried to cover all the theories, but the students were shortchanged. They didn’t learn enough about any one theory to really understand it, let alone make use of it. At best, they learned a few clichés they could use in making small talk. They didn’t appreciate or understand the theories. They gained no solid knowledge. They learned no useful skills. On the other hand, when I devote a whole course to a single approach, the students understand and appreciate that approach—both its strengths and its weaknesses.

TOM: OK, but why behavior analysis? Why not Freud?

SID: Because I’m a professional behavior analyst. Behavior analysis is what I teach best. However, I used to assign a chapter on Freud that I was excited about but my students couldn’t get into Freud. (To see the Freud chapter, go to DickMalott.com.)

JOE: Also, behavior analysis has more scientific data supporting it and can be applied to more areas than any other approach.

SUE: Professor Harper said if you want to study Freud, you have to go to the English department. He said almost no major psychology department in North America takes Freud too seriously any more.

SID: Here’s one more reason I concentrate on behavior analysis, rather than an eclectic approach. With a bachelor’s degree in general psych, there’s almost no job you can get using what you’ve learned about psychology. But, if you’ve had some training in behavior analysis, like what you’ll get in this course, you can get a job as soon as you graduate, using applied behavior analysis, if you’re willing to go where the jobs are; and they’re all around the country and starting to be all around the world. Most of these bachelor’s jobs involve working with children classified as autistic, people classified as mentally impaired, and people with brain injuries. (To find more about behavior-analysis job opportunities, go to DickMalott.com.) And we’ll study more about working with these clients throughout this course.

[end quoted section, available here to read in the context of the chapter it appeared in, the link is “POB Chapter 1”]

The entire. Fucking. Book. Was written with that insufferable ego.

This was my textbook for a 400 level course.

It counted as a prereq for the Masters levels.

Written by a man who…

…..

Wait one second, I just opened the author’s Wikipedia page and…

….

Fuck.

Did not know that.

If you don’t know this place:

There have been repeated attempts to shut down the [Judge Rotenberg] center by autism rights advocates, disability rights advocates, and human rights advocates. Other notable people who have opposed the center include Ari Ne'eman, Shain Neumeier and Lydia Brown. Organizations that oppose the center include the Autistic Self Advocacy Network, Disability Rights International, and Community Alliance for the Ethical Treatment of Youth.

……….

I’m going to go chug some Diet Dr. Pepper, since I don’t drink alcohol because of the medication I take.

[theserpentsadvocate]

AITA for continuing a FWB (minus the ‘friends’ part) relationship that could get me arrested (not FOR the sex)

(For the prompt 'badly describe your fic as an AITA', companion to this.)

So I (17M) have this almost-ex, Rose (we kind of dated, most of it behind her real boyfriend’s back, she let me think she was into me for real but was just using me for sex, then they split up and I thought we had a shot, but she dumped me and went back to him) from last year. At the beginning of the school year Rose (17F) pissed off her best friend (I think by sleeping with her boyfriend or something – she cheated on hers with somebody else, anyway) and the best friend, Velma (17F), who was apparently the only person she told about OUR thing, came to me for revenge. We hooked up a few times, Velma rubbed Rose’s nose in it and exposed her cheating to her boyfriend (you guessed it, 17M), everybody was happy.

The thing is, Velma and I have hooked up a few times since then and are probably going to keep doing it. Partly because Rose got in my face after and tried to warn me off, and fuck her, honestly, but it’s also just convenient – I’ve had kind of a dry spell since Rose and the girls who are around me a lot are honestly usually trying to lock me down because they think I can provide, which I’m not into, so it’s just been occasional stuff at parties mostly, or having to go out specifically just to get laid, and I forgot how much better it is to have low-effort regular sex. (I had a really casual FWB thing a while back – before Rose – and we’re cool, but one of my friends is into that girl now, so I haven’t tried to pick it back up.)

Velma and I aren’t friends or anything – we pretty much didn’t even like each other at the beginning – but she’s reasonably hot and pretty smart so even when we’re kind of going at each other I like that she can hold her own, you know? It’s hot, and she’s not a sex kitten or whatever (I found out later she was a virgin the first time we hooked up) but she gets really into it, which I like, and is pretty bad at hiding that, which is kind of funny? Arguing all the time is almost fun at this point – we’re not going to start hanging out outside of hooking up, but she’s really straightforward and kind of extreme (she seriously just GOES for things), which is kind of refreshing and enjoyable to be around after Rose jerked me around so much. And the sex has been getting better on a REALLY steep curve, so I don’t want to stop. (Plus, school sucks, so it livens things up.)

Here's the problem – I have obligations to this organization I run. I’ve been part of it full-time for almost three years (in charge for almost two), and affiliated for a year or so before that. To cut the details for obvious reasons, its activities vary between dubiously legal and straight-up illegal (no, I’m not planning to quit; yes, I know whatever ‘have you considered’ point you’re about to bring up; no, I’m not being naïve or selfish or whatever patronizing crap you’ve got lined up when I say this is my best option to have some kind of decent life and take care of my family – this post is not about that, so pre-emptively fuck off with that shit). I have responsibilities to the members (variously, 16-24M) – not to take unnecessarily stupid risks with their safety/freedom, not to make the organization look bad, to back them up if they’re in trouble, to enforce the rules (and make sure the ones I make are decent). To be a good leader, basically.

The problem is this: Velma’s father is the sheriff of our town. I’ve always known this, because it is not a large town, and I am, shall we say, known to police. To say he would not be pleased with his daughter having sex with me is a huge understatement. (I’m not going to say that’s not a perk. It’s a lot easier to take an obnoxious interrogation when I can just spend that time thinking about how I railed his daughter.) Technically, we’re both breaking the law – California is fucked, it’s literally illegal to have sex with anyone under eighteen even if you’re the exact same age – so it wouldn’t be in his best interest to arrest me for THAT (or at least to press charges) because you better believe my public defender would be making a huge deal about how SHE wasn’t arrested for illegally having sex with ME, but he would definitely go after me, and probably my organization as a whole, a lot harder if he knew about that (plus, most of us have enough of a record that they could just throw us in jail over the weekend under suspicion of ‘whatever’ without anyone caring it was police harassment). I actually don’t hate the guy, as cops go, and my life is a lot easier not being his Enemy Number One.

Now, most of the organization knows about the initial Velma thing (her blow-up with Rose was REALLY public, everyone at our school heard about it) and they mostly think it’s pretty great that I managed to pull that. It’s not a secret that we’re still hooking up, but it’s not well-known either, and I’m reasonably sure most of them don’t know how often it’s happening. But I worry about the blowback for us as a group. Velma and I only hook up at school, and while we’re not super likely to get caught (she has some kind of admin access to an out-of-the-way classroom no one uses, it locks, etc.) if we did it could have repercussions I think most of the club hasn’t considered.

I know it’s probably selfish to keep on doing this, but it’s been so goddamn long since I just had fun without having SOMETHING hanging over my head, and it would absolutely suck to have to go back to getting laid twice a month and having to fend off girls who are trying to get pregnant on purpose because they know how much I pull in on an average month. AITA for continuing to hook up with Velma?

EDIT: No, I’m not leading Velma on. This whole thing was her idea, and she’s made it VERY clear she’s not interested in anything other than what we have going on. The no-bullshit thing is the whole point for both of us.

EDIT 2: To everyone saying I’m in a gang like you’re the world’s best detective – no shit. It’s the specific details I’m trying to keep out of it. Go join Mensa.

EDIT 3: LOL I don’t want to date Velma. Thinking it’s funny when she calls me an asshole and having a good time pissing her off on purpose does not mean I have feelings for her, but also, how would that be a solution? Her dad would DEFINITELY find out about it if we were dating, it would literally be worse. Also I thought this was AITA, not Dear Abby.

EDIT 4: No, I’m not telling you how much I make a month. Why the fuck does it matter, that was literally a throw-away detail. And anyway, it depends, obviously. (I have a ‘real job’ too, for everyone who thinks that’s the genius solution here. Even THAT varies from month to month, because I’m in high school – I only mentioned that about six times.) It’s a lot more than I would otherwise, and no I’m not living the high life – my family has a lot of expenses. (And I’m not the sole provider, for everyone who assumed that, but in my house there are four kids and one adult who makes service industry wages, plus I help out my sister and her kid – you can say I ‘shouldn’t have to’ take care of my family all you want, but that’s not how real life works.)

[northwest-cryptid]

I'm going to sound absolutely deranged for a moment, by a moment I mean a while because I have a lot to say here. However, I really want to talk about the very nature of reality and virtual reality and what my thoughts on it are; and for the record; provided you're polite about it I will absolutely take asks on the subject because yea I know I sound kind of delusional here but whatever man.

Anyways, absolutely insane rambling below this so here's your dashboard saving "Keep Reading" break.

Okay cool now that all those who are TOO WEAK to handle absolute WALLS of text are gone, only us STRONG enough to survive the winter shall know the truth!

... I jest.

However, if you're here it likely means you actually want to know my thoughts on this shit and honestly that's pretty cool so thank you for that, like really I realize I have no idea who you are and you might be reading this years after I post it (which is an insane concept) but thanks for deeming either this subject or my thoughts interesting enough.

Without further hesitation then, allow me to explain why I think Virtual Reality and Meat Space Reality are literally equals. Yea, you absolutely read that correctly, I believe 100% that things within Virtual Reality (or VR for short obviously) are just as REAL as things within meat space. However before you go clicking off this because that claim sounds insane and stupid to a great many people, please hear me out. You've come this far, may as well right? Sunk cost fallacy and all that.

So here's the thing, in the early to mid 1990's we added the word (or words) "Meat Space" to the dictionary, it's defined as "the physical world and environment especially as contrasted with the virtual world of cyberspace" so right out the gate I think it's important to understand a few things about the way we use language and definitions.

I will not blame you at all for saying "it's semantics dude, no one cares so deeply about definition you're reaching." I get it, but again; stick with me for a bit here.

We clearly differentiate the Virtual World, or Cyberspace from the Physical World, however notice that we're yet to touch on the words Reality and Virtual Reality. We'll get there, but first a slight detour because I want to quickly talk about Cyberspace.

What the fuck IS cyberspace anyways? Well it's anything Virtual, and for the sake of explanation; Virtual is basically anything non-physical, but more specifically things stored, or run by computers.

That means that the Internet itself is Virtual, it belongs to and is in part; cyberspace. I'd make the argument that the Internet itself IS Cyberspace as a whole if our physical Meat Space is encapsulated by the known universe, then the internet is the known universe for anything Virtual/Cyberspace. I hope you're still following me so far because it's about to get a lot worse here in a bit so hang in there.

So let's look at it like this, the internet as a whole is the known universe of anything Virtual or the world we would call Cyberspace. We also know that anything Virtual is simply anything that is stored on, or run by computers; and is not of the physical world.

Does that mean it's not real?

Well what does it mean to be real? This might sound like some kind of deep philosophy question but it's actually not, I mean come on we literally have definitions of this stuff. We know the difference between fiction and non-fiction.

Simply put Fiction has a really weird definition in today's age, because by definition it's just "something that is invented or untrue" so we know it's something that is created and also is not real.

Alright so let's do a quick exercise here right...

I'm going to show you something and I want you to tell me (or really yourself because you know, I'm not actually HERE I'm just leaving these words behind and you're reading them so tell yourself) if this thing/person/character is Real/Non-fiction or Fake/Fiction.

We'll start with an EASY one, this is the cast of the classic anime from the 90's; Cowboy Bebop. So I'm asking you, are these characters real?

Objectively, no. They're fictional. They may resemble real people, they might share qualities that real people have, wear outfits or style their hair like real people. However they actually don't "style their hair" or "wear outfits" they're just drawn characters.

They are voiced by real actors, they are drawn by real artists, and they are ultimately designed by real people. However they themselves are not real. They are entirely fictional entities they do not have free will, a conscious of their own; or whatever you personally believe to be a "soul" whether you're a spiritual person or otherwise you know these things are just depictions of people. They're not alive and they cannot think for themselves.

Alright well then, here's the cast of the tumblr classic meme show Seinfeld, now my wording here might sound like a trick question but I promise you it's not; just hear me out... Are these people real?

Objectively, yes. These are real human actors; sure their characters on the show are not actually real people. They're invented characters sure, but the actual actors playing them are real and we're looking at those people.

Now you might be asking "well hey hold on, you said that Cowboy bebop characters were fake even though they're also voice acted by, drawn by, and designed by real people; so why do you feel like these characters are REAL but those characters are FAKE?"

To answer that, I need you to again realize that my wording was specific, and I didn't intend for it to be a trick question at all. If you had said "no those characters are not real" you're correct, however you need to realize I asked "are these PEOPLE real" the PEOPLE voice acting for, drawing/animating; and ultimately bringing the characters to life in Cowboy Bebop ARE real people, but we're asking about the characters. Likewise the people acting for the characters in Seinfeld are real but the actual characters they're portraying are not.

Alright so we've sort of established a baseline understanding here so far right?

Even if you don't agree with everything I've said I hope you can at least follow my line of thinking here.

A person who exists within Reality is Real. If that person plays a character who is created and untrue then the character is Fictional while the Actor playing them is Real or Nonfiction.

So let me ask a few more questions here; this one is a bit of a curve ball and I don't want you to worry about whether or not you're "right" or "wrong" on this, but I want you to see if you can sort of predict my understanding of this, see things as I do.

Here is a Vtuber, a character played by a human actor who portrays a character on youtube to stream video games and even act in an anime. This character's name is Gura, and she's widely popular within the company of Hololive/Cover amassing well over 1 million subscribers. However, the question we're concerned with here is whether or not Gura is a real person.

Objectively... that's a bit of a toss up isn't it? I mean no, clearly GURA as a character is not actually real. There's no shark girl running around streaming for people from Meat Space. Now yea I know people very rudely went and dug up who actually plays Gura to make a point about her physical appearance and shit; but we're not concerned about that because at the end of the day that's just shitty. What matters to us here is that we understand that Gura is in fact played by a real person. There is a real human being not just voicing Gura, but actively using Gura's virtual flesh (for lack of better words) to portray herself within a stream. That person is real, they exist in Meat Space, and their motions are being mimicked by Gura, but on her own Gura is nothing. Gura is a set of PNGs that overlap in such a way to resemble a person. Everything about Gura's personality, and the reason I mentioned that she has become so wildly popular is because that's all from her Actress. The person actually portraying Gura or rather the person Gura is being controlled by is the individual so many people have found they enjoy watching. She's very human and when she's not playing up a character she's just like any other streamer (and I mean that in a good way). So then where do we exactly put that line between real and fake?

Well here's how I look at this.

With a fictional character who is created to specifically have lines of dialogue in a show, their actor is not actually lending their personality to the character. They simply voice the lines, and I'm not saying that is easy or that it lacks any sense of personality or personal improv. I'm saying that the character is the character, at the end of the day if I'm hired to be a VA (Voice actor) for a character I'm not bringing my personality to this character to the point where any of my friends would hear the character speak and say the things they do or act the way they do and say "that's Cryptid!" They'd likely say "Cryptid voiced this character" but they wouldn't believe the character to BE me. Because while I might be able to insert some of my personality or personal way of speaking into the character's dialogue at the end of the day I'm following a script, the character will always be animated to do what they do; say what they say; be who they are. That doesn't mean I'm not real as the actor behind them; it means they are not real and I am simply a real actor voicing the lines for them. I give them my voice but they are still just a drawing on a screen.

If a fictional character however is used as a sort of virtual flesh for someone to inhabit and present themself through; this is where things sort of blur the line for me. Because while the actress herself isn't actually a shark girl with magic powers or whatever; Gura IS her actress. Slap anyone else into that mass of PNGs and the personality isn't there, suddenly the Gura we have come to know doesn't exist and we're left with this new individual who speaks, acts, and is; different. So Gura can only really exist when she IS her actress. This can be said of any of Hololive or even Holostar's talent.

So then is Gura fictional or non-fiction? She's arguably both. The character of Gawr Gura is fictional, but if we're talking about her personality, or the person representing Gura; well that actress IS non-fiction. She's real.

So let's take this one step further.

Is Gawr Gura simply the Actress in Cyberspace, and is the Actress merely just Gawr Gura in Meat Space?

Just, pause for a second here; stop reading and think about that.

I don't care if you don't know who Gura even is, if you've never seen her streams, if you have no idea what her "real identity" is or any of that; because arguably none of that matters.

If you're having trouble wrapping your head around it, literally think about it as generic people and generic characters. The important reason I used Gura here is because of the situation she finds herself in.

A real human person with free will, conscious thought; representing themselves through a fictional character who lacks all that; but is given life through the human "piloting" their virtual flesh created from a bunch of PNGs overlapping in such a way to give the illusion of a humanoid person.

So now here's the thing that really gets me right...

One last question regarding what's real and what's fiction.

This is a map of the entire internet, every connection; every website being mapped out. Is this real or is this fiction? This is actually really simple but I really want you to think about this; everything you see in this image including the image itself is merely made up of code, of pixels; it's entirely virtual and can only exist within Cyberspace. However, the question we're asking is whether or not this is REAL.

Once again I must say objectively; yes, it's real.

It has to be real, you're using it right now! If the internet was fictional (such as how we show magic in most fantasy settings) we wouldn't be able to use it (just like how I can't cast fireballs.) We're literally accessing the internet right now, so with this in mind; is something that is virtual or digital or that only exists within Cyberspace considered "fictional" or fake?

Well I think personally that there's literally two Realities that are equal but different.

We as people have created a second reality to exist within, we've literally created Cyberspace. It is Virtual REALITY. It's a Reality within a Reality.

To say Virtual Reality is Fictional wouldn't be entirely true, because the people creating it and portraying it and existing within it are all REAL.

"So are you saying that things that happen within Virtual Reality is all real?" I mean... Yes? No? Both? Both. Both is good.

I wish I was better at explaining this shit but try to stick with me on this one because I genuinely have so many thoughts on this.

Let me use the example from last night, my friend Inaki and I played through a world in VRChat in which we were escaping this old lab overrun with zombies. Do I really believe those events were real? Well no, they are virtual, those weren't real zombies obviously; we weren't really at any risk of dying or in any real danger. It was all simulation. However the actions we took were real, my friend Inaki is real; I am real.

I think the thing about it is that everyone judges Virtual Reality by the same set of rules as Meat Space Reality.

In Meat Space we typically define what's Real by the physicality of it, as well as by how our senses interact with it. Can we touch it? Can we see it? Can we feel it and taste it or smell it? If we it interact with all our senses then the thing must be Real right? Well sure within Meat Space, or the physical world that's not a bad judgement of things that aren't sentient. We can judge sentience by free will and basic instincts; an anime character for example is not sentient; they have no base instincts; they have no free will they are simply not alive.

A lot like those virtual zombies, they weren't really living things, all the actions they took were based on code and programming; or you know AI but people hear that word and freak out because they forget that AI has been around for literally like decades and only became a problem in the hands of the wrong people but I digress.

So then if something in Virtual Reality is sentient how do we judge whether or not it's Fiction or Non-Fiction? I'd argue entirely by it's thought processing. For example,

Let's use the example of Inaki and I walking down a dark hallway, our general thought process was to watch each other's backs, we were communicating where we were hearing sounds, where objectives were, what we were finding; when we had cleared objectives; what to be careful of. Our actions were coming from our ability to think through the situation at hand and determine objectively the best path forward.

Meanwhile you have the fictional virtual zombies who are not real people, they are controlled by an AI script that is basically checking off a list of potential situations. It's checking "is there a player here?" if the answer is yes, then it will go to "am I able to get to the player to attack them?" If the answer is yes it will then move to checking the distance between the player and itself and start moving towards the player to attack them. It's all running code, none of this is actual thought; it's just checks. There's no human thought here, there's no real actual free will or sentience behind the actions.

To me this is the defining difference in whether or not an entity within VR is real or not. At least, when it comes to the sentience of it.

So then wait a second; does that mean GURA IS REAL? I mean... kinda yea? It means that if we look at the question again, about what exactly Gura is, we can deduce that yes; Gura is simply the actress within Cyberspace, while the actress is simply Gura in Meat Space.

They are different but they are the same.

I think we view this whole thing way too narrowly by trying to define whether or not Virtual is Fiction or Non-Fiction when I believe Virtual exists as a sort of place between Fiction and Non-Fiction.

Thing of it like this:

To use that zombie world as an example yet again, we can use Virtual Reality as a sort of bridge between the real and the fake.

Obviously a virtual entity cannot effect me in Meat Space, it's non-physical and thus has no control over the physical world, but it can effect Virtual Reality, and since a projection of myself exists there and I can influence Virtual Reality through that projection of myself a virtual entity is able to effect this Cyberspace me with a simulated output being registered that I can perceive in Meat Space.

Basically to boil it all down, what I'm saying here is that Virtual Reality is a Reality of it's own that we can access through things like VR or through The Internet. However it is not bound by the same limitations of our own Reality in Meat Space because it works with a different set of senses and rules.

You can still see and hear things; but the feeling of touch or like smell/taste is absent. That being said, in Meat Space you have limitations based on your body, gravity, various factors brought by things like physics. Where as with Cyberspace we are essentially all given the power of creation at our fingertips.

This is where I'm going to sound absolutely delusional but I've gotten into creating models specifically to be used as avatars, and watching people go through all the rigging all the weight mapping, sculpting and defining these characters. I'm literally watching the birth of a virtual flesh that someone will occupy. It feels like watching some kind of digital god create new life.

However I will stop myself there before people start thinking I'm in need of some kind of medication for my delusional thinking.

I have plenty more thoughts on this subject but I honestly feel like I'd get a lot of hate from a lot of people if I continue to discuss it as intricately as I wish to.

I think the important thing to take away is that yes there is a difference between fiction and reality; and trust me when I say I know that difference well; and have my whole life. However there is a place that exists, that we as human beings created; that somewhat bridges that gap by allowing us to directly interact with a world of our own design in which we are not bound by the limitations of Meat Space. A place that by all definition exists as both Real and Fiction but can be interacted with and experienced in such a way that it is an equal in my eyes to Reality.

We call it Virtual Reality, we do not call it Virtual Fiction, or Virtual Fake Place. The very words Virtual Reality quite literally define themselves in such a fashion of what I'm saying. Virtual Reality is simply:

Virtual ( 1. not physically existing as such but made by software to appear to do so. / 2. carried out, accessed, or stored by means of a computer, especially over a network.)

Reality ( 1.the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them. / 2. the state or quality of having existence or substance. )

A world that exists, stored on and accessed by a computer over a network.

Virtual Reality is a Reality that is simply digital, not fictional, not fake; not any less than Meat Space.

We created the word Meat Space to serve a purpose, if we believed Virtual Reality and anything digital to simply be fake or less or fiction we'd simply have "The Real World" or "Reality" and "Fictional media" or "digital fiction" or something. Instead we understand Meat Space and Cyberspace or Physical Reality and Virtual Reality; both being their own Reality.

Anyways thanks for your time, if you've made it this far and don't think I'm stupid as fuck I appreciate you.

[s-talking]

first thing’s first! everything you see on this blog, ( including character art - icons - icon border - theme - divider - etc.. etc.. ) were all personally drawn, written, & made-up by me, so please kindly do  NOT  take anything whatsoever. envy’s horror story took indeed many years to develop, but so did every little aesthetic & concept art to match & i’m pretty sure nobody likes their stuff taken.

all in all, i’m not really selective but much like everyone else, i reserve the right to soft-block anyone who either makes me feel uncomfortable or breaks any of the rules mentioned here.

again, since this blog does & will contain mature content, please kindly do not follow if you’re under the age of   18  or if you are easily disturbed by really  GRIM / MORBID / HORROR  &  YANDERE-ESQUE  stuff, thank you.

you don’t ever need to match my post length or make your post fancy, i honestly just care about the effort itself in the end.

when it comes to plotting, i’m generally full of ideas but it’s also not very fun to be doing everything alone so please, kindly work with me, especially if you’re the one following me first. likewise, if we’ve only just started interacting & are currently in the middle of plotting, don’t just leave me hanging for days on end because if you’re constantly active on dash & go radio silent... well, i’ll just assume you’re no longer interested. it’s as simple as that. i’ll give around 3-4 days before unfollowing, unless you’re offline.

all information about envy can be found on the blog itself, however, please be sure to read his ‘  personality  ‘ section in particular, especially if you’re interested in shipping with him or if your own character happens to be very intimidating, scary, or powerful.

adding to the point above, should your muse ever taunt, attack, or merely rub him the wrong way, don't expect for the ' yandere ' factor to be some kind of failsafe; envy is extremely fake, ruthless, & sadistic, & didn't think twice before murdering his first love. he is as domineering & possessive as he is truly heartless, & i won't ever tone him down.

MUN  -//-  CHARACTER. please do remember that these two are extremely different. i’m literally nothing like envy nor do i have a creepy eldritch grandma breathing down my neck. the same goes for any potential love interests in threads. what happens  in  character will always be  in  character. also, on similar note, i literally feel  NO  pity whatsoever towards envy & do not approve of the wicked things he says or does so if someone finally kills his yandere ass ─ that’s wholly on him, & i’m completely fine with it.

my only real  ‘ taboo ‘   topics are any mentions of d.i.d, cancer or other terminal illnesses.  SORRY.  accounts revolving around such are going to be avoided, as none of those will ever be taken lightly ─ far too personal / heavy of a topic.

since this blog is currently on semi-hiatus, from time to time i’ll disappear for few days ( or even weeks ) due to life being life, but usually it’s nothing major & i’ll promptly return. no worries. anything as big as a hiatus shall be notified on dash & even so, i’ll eventually return anyway. ~

if i happen to follow you, it means i’ve already read your rules / about page & would love to role-play ( even if i don’t send in a password ).

that’s it! thank you for reading & i hope you’ll stick around to role-play!

[kyogre-blue]

OK, onto SS choice and the timeskip!

Due to when they let you save, I've actually played into the very start of the war phase, so I'll just say it here. I was kind of disappointed by how limp-wristed the whole Edelgard situation is? I expected some more "join me and we shall rule Fodlan" kind of thing, but Edelgard is very neutral and almost disinterested about it. Oh, you're not joining her? Oh well.

The Byleth relationship with Claude is rather detached because he has so little stakes in Fodlan and keeps hiding his actual background and motives for so long, but like the tradeoff is that they have no actual beef or conflict and just cooperate well. I kind of thought Edelgard would be more emotionally charged in some way and she... isn't really? Post timeskip, they go through the motions of starting a sword fight, but then just kinda... stop and... part ways... Not sure if Edelgard's rather under-played delivery is part of the issue. I'm not saying her voice actress is bad, but she doesn't really sell the character imo.

Anyway, I am as ever unimpressed by Edelgard.

Live blogging notes:

Edelgard going to Enbarr to be crowned is a secret.

Man, her dad looks very ill. The implication of her dialogue is that it's because of the "burden of the throne" but eeeeeh

Normally, the archbishop should act as a witness to the ceremony, though iirc the original JP script just had "bishop"...?

"By the covenant between the red blood and the white sword"

Man... Both Hubert in their support and Ionius IX here frame it as Edelgard being "stolen away to the Kingdom" but like, no, her mom took her there? And from what I understand, Edelgard was perfectly fine there. The real issue was when Thales posing as Arundel brought her back. But it seems that Edelgard doesn't actually remember that stuff, so are they purposefully lying to her?

It seems like Ionius IX saw his children experimented on. Edelgard mentions seeing him clench his fists until they bled.

Edelgard's first act: putting Duke Aegir in his place and basically imprisoning him in the palace (?)

Ionius IX and Edelgard both keep referring to how the fate of Fodlan is in her hands now, which is kind of lol given that she's technically only taking over one of three countries in Fodlan.

Oh, interesting. In GD (and I believe BL), you fight the Flame Emperor in the Tomb and then break their mask, revealing Edelgard. But here, Edelgard walks in as herself from the beginning and willingly reveals her identity.

Her wehehe evil henchguy states clearly that they're here to take the Crest Stones, and also the bones. Oh boy!

It's interesting that Edelgard can't just order her classmates to stand down. She's their Emperor, so by disobeying her, they're functionally all traitors. In general, I'm surprised we do battle with her initially and only choose whether to side with her after being ordered to kill her directly.

Despite what I kind of expected, Edelgard never really tries to recruit you and isn't at all surprised that you stand against her. Ngl, I expected a "join me and we can rule the galaxy together" pitch. Kinda disappointed...

Yeah, all the BE kids are like "so what if she's the Emperor, we're just gonna do our own thing" but without actually confronting what they're doing. (Update: Hubert at least obliquely threatens Ferdinand if you attack him, with "you have people you care about in the empire, right? think about what'll happen to them if you stand with the Church")

Edelgard's big speech is like "Church wants to rule Fodlan!" and "Church split up the empire to make kingdom and alliance, all to set us against each other" which, I cannot emphasize enough, doesn't really come across as an issue when there's no major history of conflict between the nations. The only actual post-independence conflict was the Hrym-Ordelia business which barely gets mentioned and is also the Empire's own fault... The gold and extravagance thing is just nonsense too.

Oh, lmao. Seteth says that Edelgard "demanded her own father relinquish the throne" but like... I was at her coronation. They either got lazy copy-pasting dialogue from other routes or assumed you'd totes side with her if you saw that scene.

The tone Rhea and Seteth take in regard to the "progenitor god" is a bit weird because Rhea in particular fluctuates between clearly considering Sothis her mother and her loss as a very personal one, and speaking of Sothis as her goddess and a much more detached authority figure.

Ferdinand says that half of the six big noble families declared support for Edelgard. Hubert's dad was assassinated, Bernie's dad is under house arrest and his wife is siding with Edelgard in his stead, and Ferdie's dad his been stripped of his PM position, his rank, and his lands.

Huh, a bunch of the church units auto-recruited.

You can recruit Hilda here, though I don't have enough of... probably axe ranks.

Dimitri has mysteriously come to the conclusion that Edelgard is responsible for Duscur. The month before, his explore dialogue was about how he hasn't been sleeping.

Anyway, time to kill off some children. I want no one coming to the promise day.

It is unexpectedly hard. Normal mode is so easy you have to be trying to lose on purpose, and even then it's hard to do.

The battle starts with the enemy already within the walls (Outer Wall on the map location). The Church is holding out for reinforcements that come in through the left and right entrances, but they are first taken by Imperial forces (Death Knight on the left, Hubert on the right), which have to be cleared out.

There are "Onagers" (basically catapults) that archers can use to fire in the town and "Fire Orbs" that mages can use next to the monastery inner walls.

There are two Winged Demonic Beasts with the Imperial forces. They have creepy masks and hold "Pointy Art(ificial) Crest Stones" which are "artificial Crest Stones with a distorted shape, produced in the Empire." They have enormous wings that are even a barrier ability (lol) and are noted as being very swift.

Rhea's class is Archbishop, she's using the Sword of Seiros (which is also mentioned in the class description lol) and Seiros Shield (interesting point: halves monster damage). She's got A in sword, reason, faith, and leadership, B in fists, but nothing in axes or bows, and only a D in lances. Her abilities include Sacred Power (gives boost to allies and lowers damage taken) and Charm. Walking buff point, I see.

After we repel them, Edelgard sends in the reserve troops and signals Arundel (Thales). (He comes in with more Demonic Beasts and also attacks Byleth and Rhea with dark magic... in his real form lmao, wonder if anyone noticed how their commander changed out for another dude somewhere along the line.)

I saw this before, but why does Claude fight with a sword in cutscenes? Sword here and sword in the Fort Mercius scene against Nader too. Also, funny that he and Dimitri are hanging out together for some reason.

Note that Byleth swings and extends the Sword of the Creator with enough force to shatter a Demonic Beast's mask and bodily throw it off the Immaculate One. Like, dang... those things are big and heavy??

[silly-little-soul]

Best of Men - Kaz Brekker

A/N - It's currently 8am, I spent the past hours writing this because sleep is overrated, I think it turned out quite well considering this is my first time writing for Kaz

A/N 2 – a week later now, I'm so sorry for the wait I decided to make it longer after all and then some stuff happened, nothing bad just time consuming I hope you enjoy anyways!

Also I'm still working on making a better post format I apologize

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fandom: Six of Crows

Format: oneshot

Type: comfort

Relationship: Kaz Brekker x Reader (romantic, established relationship)

Reader info: trans ftm, implied crow

Summary: Kaz comforting a trans-masc reader who feels dysphoric

Warnings: established relationship, gender dysphoria, mention of unintended misgendering, Kaz almost kills sb for like 0.5 seconds, emotionally dense Kaz, slightly OOC soft!Kaz, actually atp might as well just say Kaz in general is his own warning /hj

Proofread: Yes!

Word count: 1165

Requested: @alex-kazbrekkersimp

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  To say it was a bad day was an understatement. It was one of the days everything felt wrong, even more so than most days, and the nagging inside your own head just wouldn't seem to stop. You were familiar with these days of course but it didn't exactly make them easier. And just when you thought you managed to tuck the feeling away rater well you were tasked to show around some new Dregs who right of the bat made you feel even worse when by addressing you with feminine titles. You knew they had no ill intention but in your current state that was barely doing anything about the waves of dysphoria crashing down on you. After a moment you couldn't take it anymore. You didn't have the energy to correct them and risk conflict so you simply turned and left for your room without another word.

So here you are now, sitting on your bed with your head between your knees. You're sure Kaz will be rather upset at you for simply leaving the new Dregs but at least Jesper agreed to taking care of them when you ran into him on your way to your room meaning they wouldn't be unattended. You don't really have the mind to care about that currently anyways.

A knock snaps you back to reality. The door opens and you don't need to lift your head to know it's Kaz, the sound of his cane against the floor giving him away easily. “Y/N.” It comes out much harsher than intended and he winces at the “I know I shouldn't have left” you mumble quietly. „Y/N“. He tries again, his voice much softer this time, a tone he rarely uses (and if he does it's with you, always with you). You shake your head, refusing to look up at him.

With a sigh he sits on the bed next to you, he makes sure to keep a small distance so he doesn't risk you touching each other accidentally but the proximity itself is a sign of trust, something reserved for you and the crows, only the people he deems save. There's a minute of silence between the two of you before Kaz comes to the conclusion you won't be addressing the problem on your own accord. “Jesper made me aware of a.... situation.” You don't reply but the sniffle coming from where your head is still tugged away from view makes his grip on his cane tighten.

When Jesper told him about what happened he was about ready to go straight to the Dregs responsible and demonstrate to them why people feared Dirtyhands but he was stopped by Inej who suggested it'd perhaps be better to check up on you first, saying she'd handle them (though her definition of handling the situation was much calmer and more reasonable that Kaz's). Though reluctantly he ended up listening to his friends, not keen on breaking his promise of always being there shall you need him.

“Love.” The use of the pet name made you look up finally. Seeing the glossiness of your eyes he stretches out his hand, deciding last second to lay it right next to yours instead of risking trying to put it on top. “I won't say I know how you're feeling as I know I never will but please be aware that whenever you need me I'm right there by your side..” He looks down at your almost touching hands for a moment, trying to find more he could say to comfort you. To his relief though you speak up this time. “Sometimes it.... it just feels like no matter how hard I try I can't seem to be enough of a man.” You cure yourself silently for the way your voice cracks at the end of your sentence, pushing your head back in its old position. Meanwhile Kaz could swear he can feel something chipping away at his heart with how sure you sound of something that is not only hurting you but blatantly false.

“I might not know how you're feeling.... but I know there's voices.” He let's his gloved hand hover above yours, hoping his words are ones good enough. “Voices inside your head and heart, voices that seem to come from everywhere and sometimes even the voices of other people. They're telling you lies and things you don't deserve.” He finally seems to have won the battle he silently had with himself as he let's his hand rest on yours lightly. “Listen to mine instead.”

You look up fully this time to see Kaz already looking at you, eyes filled with rare emotion. “You are without question the most handsome man I've ever laid my eyes upon. Absolutely dashing, stronger than anyone I've ever known, so stunningly brave. I know many men who think of themselves as powerful, strong, the best and I can guarantee you none of them stand a chance against you. You think you need to 'try' as to be a man but you are already more man than they will ever be. You're man at heart, something I believe most of them do not possess in the first place.” Relief washes over him when you puff out a small laugh at his joke. He lifts his hand from yours again, his gaze however stays fixated on you.

You take a few seconds to take in what just happened, Kaz's words having been uncharacteristically sweet, almost shockingly so. A warmth spreads inside both your chest and cheek. While you're still processing his words Kaz gets up from your bed, returning moments later with a tissue and the glass of water you had left on the little table in your room this morning, both of which you gratefully accept.

“I don't give a damn about who or what you were said to be much over a decade ago. I care about the beautiful, perfect man you grew up to be that I have the privilege of getting to spend my life with. No matter what anyone says. You'll always be you, the most incredible man to exist. Inej, Jesper, Nina, Matthias, Wylan, all of them would never see you as anything less, they all love you.” He lifts his hand again, resting it on your cheek carefully. “I love you.” It's barely above a whisper, the words still hard for him to get out even after all this time but the faint smile on your face shows him you heard him fine as he removes his hand again. “I know I don't say it as much as you deserve but I'm so very lucky to have you by my side. The best of boyfriends and best of men.”

Kaz Brekker wasn't one to let his affection show often but if it meant he could have the man he loved smile at him as strikingly as you did right now maybe he'd consider doing it more often.

<3

[thatonedelusiongirl]

ok so i have another tc i guess i mean he’s not really my teacher i mean i guess he is every sunday for sunday school well call him glasses so glasses has been stalking my insta recently so my super innocent christan self ( i hate god an hope i burn in hell ) posted a pic of just me in a bra an under wear to close friends an i purposely put him on there lmao but anyways he just now saw it after all day an i had to double check then i got a text from him i won’t put exactly what he said bc then if he happens to have tumblr yk🧍🏻‍♀️anyways ima give my version

i can’t give my real name because i don’t want anyone to know who i am so ima address myself at A mainly bc my name starts with a A anyways

Glasses : Hey A, how are you ? I know stuff has been happening an stuff but i wanted to check to see if your ok. We haven’t seen your mom to how you where doing.

Me: Hey:) yeah i’m ok don’t worry lol. My moms been sick an stuff so she hasn’t been able to really get out. I’ve been at my dads recently i’m thinking about moving here.

Glasses : I’m so glad to hear you're doing ok how are you since you know... and when do you think you'll be back I miss seeing you in class.

Me : Im coping the best I can... an im not really sure yet I just need a break to prioritize my grief along with my mental health.

Glasses: I understand ill be praying for you A love ya kiddo

Reading that last text I think I lost my actual Fucken mind I became a damn dog on all fours anyways I had a dream about him last night like the night leading into today well I guess now yesterday bc is midnight an in this dream it was very explicit like I swear he prays to be in my dreams lmaooo but anyways I miss him an our secret moments in a crowded room ( totally stole that from Taylor lmaoo) anyways ughhhh why does he have to be soooo nice like be a dick an be a man of god an only love your pet sprems an women forget about me no man shall lust or give into temptation brought on by the "devil" ye shall love his women an only his women if ye shall not love ye shall be stoned.

^^^^^^

that is my take on the one lesson he actually gave us lmao anyways he wants to come meet me up here to read scripture at the park because ive been " distant " from god as if he hasn't either... anyways another tc to blog about lmao ??

[mogwaei]

I would like the director's cut of Yin's funky little sidetrip in the Fade during HTLA. Please and thank? 💕

Oooo an olde chapter!! "Chapter 60: Oath to Order" That's a weird one. Okay I shall break it down below a cut! 💚

Let's seeee....well, as you well know, the Nightmare's realm/lair was meant to expose everyone's fears. Yin has a lot of fears lol

So kind of a recap: the poor boyo comes to in the very same dungeon as he woke up at the beginning of Inquisition. But there's someone with him - deep of voice and speaking Antivan, though it becomes clear to Yin that it is not the stranger's native tongue. This is intentionally meant to confuse you - who is speaking? Nightmare...or the other entity from the beginning? Regardless of its identity, there is a very meticulous exchange between the Inquisitor and the Presence. It's trying to get something from Yin, but as it goes with spirits and mortals, both parties must be consenting. For an ancient entity deceiving mortals, this should be no issue.

And it isn't. It gets what it wants almost right away, throwing a red herring later in the conversation. It's so stupid and so simple,

"Allow me to pay you a small kindness. May I help you?"

I liked the idea of it latching onto Yin like this, a seemingly harmless gesture to literally help him sit up. The rest of what follows is just...this entity playing with him because it has already gotten its in.

“I could help you.” < now it's just mocking Yin. Lol gotcha silly elf.

❗[[SPOILERS(?)]]❗: Very quickly it begins to exert its influence on Yin's spirit, searching for seeds of weakness within where it can begin nurturing them. This would be Yin's anger, his fear, and other strong emotions. It's not the strongest influence, it's subtle because this creature is clever and ancient, and it's enough to set Yin on the deteriorating path seen thereafter.

You might wonder why this thing acts like it wants to help him but then proceeds to torment him. Stay tuned 😂

I won't spoil too much more yet, because we're actually going to dissect an aspect of Yin's nightmare in a future chapter (I stg it's mostly all connected, I just take forever to post stuff).

Anyway, whatever this thing is, Nightmare or other, I hope it's becoming a little clearer that this thing is/was searching for something.

But back to Yin's "nightmare":

This scene was a patchwork of timelines, so it's a bit all over the place. Yin slips into thinking that it has already been many years since the defeat of Corypheus. Since he has no reason to suspect a certain ancient rebel to appear, Fen'Harel's return is lacking in this vision. In this world, things got better briefly in the world....and then I tried to imply that Yin got power hungry and fell into a deep delusion that everything he did was for the betterment of the world. A classic tyrant take, really. Yin became the monster, failed everyone he loved, etc. The most important part was really just the beginning of this chapter with Yin vs the Presence :3

Useless sidenotes:

Originally, this scene had nothing to do with a dungeon or Yin being tried as a corrupt leader. In the first scene (draft?) I wrote, it starts out from Yin's pov. He is riding a hart toward a lush forest beside Dorian who is dressed in beautiful robes that are a fusion of Tevinter and Dalish. Yin is nervous, but happier than he's ever been. It changes shortly to Maordrid's pov as she and Solas pursue to save him.

In the next scene, they are walking through a forest, slowly forgetting their present and gaining memories of a much brighter world. They were just coming off of an expedition (can't remember what they were doing) but Solas carries a filthy bottle. Filthy, but it turns out it's actually a rare and expensive wine. He offhandedly laments that this is a paltry gift for their dear friend while Maordrid said something about having lost the other gifts in a cave-in or...robbed? and that Yin will simply be happy they made it for once.

Anyway, turns out they're going to celebrate Yin and Dorian's wedding with the Lavellan clan! 🌸🌼🏵 The illusion over Maordrid's mind is only disturbed when Solas expresses affection (this is prior to the romance) and she's like...wait. And goes through this whole conflict of realising feelings, fighting them, etc. Solas is just so pretty when he's happy. But lol this is the Nightmare realm! I can't remember all the details, except that the clan comes under attack and it's a horrendous bloodbath. There would have been a pov switch back to Yin during this where he still encounters the Presence in the woods (during the slaughter) and probably a Green Knight type of exchange between the two. D:

The reason this didn't stick is because I was writing in Scrivener at the time and the bitche crashed on me, corrupted the file, and I lost the whole thing. What was initially a very long (I think 10k) chapter about a wedding with some t e n s i o n between Mao and Solas was then cut down to the 2,500 words that it is now because I lost the motivation 💀

Thank you so much for asking me about this my dear! Sorry you happened to pick a long-winded one 😂 I figured since you'll probably be one of the only (if the only) people to ask, I'd give you a big director's cut lol💚🍄🌻