#sorry i was rambling. ik this might not make any sense

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

Yo mate r u doing alright after the whole

uh

getting hit by car thing

it's been... over a week now, but i still do feel a bit sore. my ribs hurt a bit, but it's manageable. the bruise on my right ankle is itchy but healing. going out feels a little anxious, though. cars moving fast scare me???

im planning on getting back to work wednesday because im so tired of just being cooped up in the house.

i think i said this, but i ammmm a bit stressed??? uh, that lady didnt have insurance. i got the report a few days ago, and she got cited for hitting me and not providing financial liability. so my medical is a bit complicated. got the run around with the ER clinic(?) with giving them my updated insurance (didnt have my cards on me and its been well over 72 hrs).

i did get one of the medical situations figured out and updated but they told me they bill two different ways??? super complicated. my dads trying to get in contact with WHERE the ambulance charge is and how we get that total.

buuut... we are probably gonna take her to court. at least to get some kind of compensation. she tried to pay me off with just a bike. kinda disgusting tbh. 29 yr old should know how to look left.

i wont air my grievances. sorry augh. its just- complicated???? but its good. im not more injured and like my ribs are still sore. sleeping upright sucksssss. but im just glad to be okay.

sorry for oversharing but AHH its just a lot to think abt. thank you for caring and asking. that means a lot.

if theres any good thing to be said ive had a lot of time to do things i love. ive been reading a bunch and playing my ps4. getting good sleep. my mental health has genuinely been... good other than that headache. its so peaceful and simple to just exist and do things that i love. i wish i could do this more often. i haven't had time like this since i graduated high school. i literally jumped into this job august of 2021 and never really... took a break like this... i really needed this. like... REALLY needed this break. injury or not this is really such... a nice break...

[19871997]

.

[patchworkprince]

I need to revamp this blog

[nothingmatters-everythingmatters]

Hi hi! It's ya girrrlll

So I read your rant (delightful BTW, I'm a nosey hater at heart lol) and am here to ramble too! :3

Firstly though, I'm really sorry for the situation you're in and hope it gets better. I'm lucky enough to have an accepting family (my parents and sister at the very least) and to have recently moved to western Europe where it's pretty progressive(?) in terms of lgbt stuff (ignore the fascists and right wingers behind me trying to access the governments), but I can imagine how isolating your experiences might feel. Hang in there, there are better things in store, I'm sure!

Now for the rest of your rant, I found that you've raised some interesting points, notably about how amabs can easily take on the lesbian label while some afabs have yet to claim it for themselves due to the homophobia they mightve endured and amabs probably haven't thus far (they probably dealt with transphobia as transfems, which I'm not gonna diminish no matter my views on transgenderism, but they probably haven't really dealt with lesbo/homophobia especially if they're pre-transition). Afterall, lesbian transfems were probably straight guys before, and their orientation is sure as hell not condemned by the wider society.

It kind of reminds me of this one lesbian transgirl ik who I met on a server on discord and formed a group of online friends there which included her. I knew her before she came out/identified as trans and I remember at that time she'd sometimes mention how she'd listen to lewd asmr of girls and such. She also talked about how she wished she was lesbian. So I, being the lesbian debator I am, basically said that that's not a great thing to say (I refrained from saying it sounds fetishy), but she replied with basically saying that I don't understand and that lesbian love or whatever is so "pure" unlike hetero love or something. So guess how I felt when she started identifying as a lesbian trans girl and later found out it's something observable in a portion of the online transbian community (not saying every transbian is like this, but still). (Oh yh she also (sort of?) cheated on her gf so there's that but I don't think it's related.)

I think I feel a similar sentiment as you in the sense that while I can sympathise with some of the struggles transfems may face, I find it irritating at times when people seem to go above and beyond to label/treat them as "the most sapphic and lesbian ever" as you put it, most of the time in an effort to validate their identity and place in the sapphic and wider lgbt community, when they probably never had to face the struggles afab sapphics were faced with since forever and more importantly some say some... Questionable things about their orientation and attraction to women. Not all obviously, but still. Am I making any sense lol?

I definetely don't think transbians have 0 place in the sapphic community, I think it's a complicated matter and there can be some gray areas (I also have grown increasingly distant from the (at least online) lgbt/lesbian community the past year so idrc about most discourse ig), but I kind of wish this was all treated more "normally" if that makes sense and that afab lesbians or sapphic could talk about certain things related to their orientation without constantly being scrutinised to make sure they're including trans folk in everything ever. I also kind of wish we could call out problematic behaviour in trans people without being called transphobic, but I think this applies to specific cases mostly.

Anyway I think I was mostly nonsensical here, apologies, but feel free to reply to whatever you managed to latch onto here lol.

Also, if you ever feel the need to vent and don't feel comfortable airing those issues on tumblr.com for whatever reason, my dms are always open, I check into this hellsite daily <3

~🪼

(wow retroactive preface I go on a long ass ramble about semantics in this I apologize in advance for how many times you might have to read the word "definition" lmao)

hey!! so happy to keep seeing you here around these parts (my inbox, that is) and I'm glad you especially do get some enjoyment out of my far less polished vent posts :p I always feel bad when I post something so singularly interesting to me and me alone because it is just a full on personal blog moment, but to be fair to myself this entire blog is an exercise in actually voicing my own opinions and feelings for the sake of learning to express myself better, and it is nice to know even in the least poignant or least thought out posts, it isn't just fully self-beneficial lmao

I also (of course, as always) appreciated your response! honestly, I admire how level-headed and nuanced you can be with these topics, I myself often feel like I swing wildly from being harsher with my words and trying desperately to be as passive as possible to appease everyone, and I do have to say it is an ongoing challenge for me sometimes to strike that perfect balance between understanding but still standing by my convictions and not solely focused on people pleasing. it's a bit of a weird life, in my private time I do feel like I tend to be highly cynical and sort of an asshole lolol, especially towards other people, but in public I would never dare say any of the things I think because at the end of the day, I do still feel as if preserving friendly atmospheres among peers is paramount to being a productive part of a society. I'm like the opposite of the asshole with a heart of gold trope, in a way. gold with the heart of an asshole lmao

all that to say, I think you make some really astute observations that are still compassionate to trans women who identify as lesbian, while still pointing out the objective faults of their common language and behavior! I really think this (like so many issues whose current is pushed most strongly by the english speaking west) is a matter of semantics for the most part. labels, communities based on labels, and their inherent flaws I guess. because I really have no problem with someone identifying as a trans woman and also having a sexuality surrounding liking women, or if they want to talk about it or even if they want to define it separately than heterosexual attraction. it's their attraction, and I'm not the ceo of how people choose to define their own sexuality (and I wouldn't want to be, that sounds like a headache job lmao). for me, I think the issue really comes with when personal definitions of sexuality are enforced upon others, and when suddenly, highly personal definitions become community-defining ones. the term "sapphic" is such a great example of this weird treatment of labels and their definitions. the term "sapphic" can mean a lot of different things to different people, despite the fact that it is, at its core, a term held together by a single definition. in our society people will ideologically define every single word in a definition differently (ex. what does love mean? what does a woman mean (lol)?) and so even a fairly universal term can be personal based on one's own framework of thinking. BUT the thing is, a lot of transbians/people who identify as queer/tra positive/whatever you want to call the current hegemonic popular opinions of the lgbtq+ have taken to a personal definition of words like lesbian and sapphic, and have decided to supplant the originally fairly universal term and replace it with something that does kind of inadvertently alienate a lot of people who identify with the most "neutral" and non-ideological version of the definition (women who love/are attracted to women). instead, the basic definition has essentially shifted in its meta, though the words stay the same, the meaning is pushed to imply these terms can be understood as "someone who identifies as a woman who loves/are attracted to people who they identify as women" and that's just both too broad and too specific at the same time, excluding those who don't agree with the notion of identifying into what was previously understood as a sex class, and including people who wouldn't have even met the original definitional criteria to begin with. this, in turn, creates a vacuum in meaning, allowing for "aesthetic" to take over as the primary meaning of the term. I think that's where that "weirdness" comes in.

it's hard to find community with people who are coming at the definition of what the community is built on from a completely different direction. when I think of being "sapphic" (other than the brainrotting pop culture/online/algorithmically driven stereotypes) I simply think of being attracted to my same sex, that being female, and that being women. but, I would assume for transfems, they obviously don't have the simple way of just relying on same sex attraction as a definition, because they don't see the world in that way definitionally, and must apply more effort to justify why their attraction to women deserves to distinctively be defined from regular opposite sex attraction. that's where we get the strange insistence on sapphic love being more "pure" or making their entire personality curated towards "sapphic culture". in a way, though on the surface I am still pretty jealous that they get the privilege to express these thoughts and be backed up so strongly by people I know who would care less about me, I do feel bad that they must subconsciously feel the need to "prove" they meet the criteria for these labels because for them, there is no easy, biologically material fitting of the definition. I personally will have never have to care that much about fitting lesbian stereotypes or involving my life in sapphic culture. in fact, I basically can't not be sapphic. it's just the only way my future looks. it's the only way my attraction manifests. people will see me as a lesbian (well, that or a nerdy disheveled teenage boy at first glance lmao) just based on how I don't present in a way that centers men. it's the only way I fall in love.

and yeah, it really would be nice if there was space for a community where we could discuss that reality, openly, in mainstream progressive spaces! but for reasons that would be pretty bleak if we unraveled them, people would much rather play these games of labels and proving your place in them than creating avenues for people to congregate in spaces that actually bring them community and cater to their needs.

as always after these really really tangled word threads I slowly begin to run out of steam so I'll just wrap this up and say you made excellent points dear anon! maybe one day we can all just accept that sometimes definitions should be exclusive in that they exclude people who don't fit them, and not exclusive in the way that they exclude people who do fit them, and that afab women, and especially afab sapphics, deserve the right to preserve spaces for themselves without having to worry about appeasing men or anyone they don't want to!

and wow holy shit this is a whole lot of words trying to pick apart the way words can mean other words sometimes I would not blame anyone if they skim most of it lmao.

tl;dr the meta of labels and their definitions are kinda dumb and I'm maybe more dumb for spending so much time thinking about them

and lastly, thank you for the kind offer of your dm space as an area for venting! perhaps...I will take you up on that offer...it is inevitable I will be struck by another petty urge to vent about people in my life because I continue to work with people who are essentially the most fascinating but headache inducing parts of tumblr and twitter personified and I do still primarily have very "gendery" friends irl! we'll see if I end up having anything interesting to say about it though first, or if I can bear to actually talk to someone online once instead of passively yelling into the digital void!

[sillylizardguys]

While scrolling through the BSD tag, I’ve come across a lot of debate about whether Oda “Truly understood Dazai” or not. And it’s made me wanna share my view on the topic:

Does it really Matter?

He was Dazai’s friend, and that’s what I think is the most important part, because that’s what makes a difference. If he just an acquaintance, understanding wouldn’t matter, because it wouldn’t have affected Dazai in the same way. The entire reason it was impactful was because it was Oda. At the end of the day, Oda’s death made Dazai want to become better no matter what understanding he did or didn’t have. It’s a meaningless debate when the impact he had was clear.

Alright I’m gonna draw a comparison to The Black Lizard that is maybe not the best but makes sense in my head (I’m sorry I just can’t go one post without talking about these guys).

Tachihara is an undercover operative for a government force, and due to this, he probably can’t tell The Black Lizard any part of his story that might blow his cover, so they probably don’t fully understand him and his motives. But even so, Tachi cares for his teammates enough to save their lives, and later believe in what they say so much that he literally retcons a Reality bending book (ik there more to it ofc but I know I’ll start rambling). Hirotsu and Gin make him feel happy, despite not understanding everything about him as a person. They trust and care about each other which is what brings them together, not a feeling of understanding.

To wrap this up I wanna say this: even if you don’t fully understand why someone acts the way they do, if you care about them enough, you’ll want to see them thrive. Whether Oda understood Dazai isn’t the point, the point is that the entire Lupin Trio cared about each other in a way that hugely impacted all of their lives when one of them departed. Understanding doesn’t hold a candle to caring and being there for them.

[sophieinwonderland]

okay so like. ik this bit probably sounds like a joke but i saw a comic and it made me realize The Guy i think i have in here may not be. fully formed i think. i dont know if they're (idk their pronouns) a tulpa or what. they came from a character i made, grew in my brain for a bit and then i started sensing their feelings and stuff?? but yeah. dont know exactly how they got here but i think they're here and

WOW i rambled sorry lmao. uh anyways. advice for what to do if you think maybe you partially formed a headmate but not fully and they're just sorta. theyre a separate person okay but theyre not. like fully. man idk what im saying what do i do if theres like possibly half a guy in here

or he could be fully formed idk. im super new to this whole not being in denial thing i. sighs

I think it's okay to just take things slow and feel things out for now.

What you have right now is a headmate... or it isn't. And both are okay.

A term that I like that I tend to use a lot is "proto-headmate." I find that it's good to have a word for this type of phenomena where you might have something that could develop into more but it might not be completely sentient or autonomous yet.

If you want it to be a headmate then you can try to interact with it more. Experiment, talk to it like you would a tulpa. Listen for it to respond back.

But if you don't, I don't really see any issue with not going any further.

And if you aren't sure what to do then you can ask them. Maybe you will end up getting a response back where they will make it clear that they are here and they are a person and want to be treated like one. Maybe they are sentient but don't want to be treated like they are, which happened with one of our hadmates at one point. And maybe you just won't get any response back because they aren't developed enough to give one. If the latter is true then it's really just up to you to decide what to do next. You could either develop them further or choose not to.

[hexacasts]

in terms of crazy stuff that is actually kind of insane, like the Instanced Locations and such, all if it comes back to the same thing of remembering that, Crossworlds is, in universe, a real physical place. The water, the trees, the cave systems. All the terrain is like, real stuff made For This. Updates are Literal Construction Projects. The bodies of characters are Real, Hard Light objects, as is anything else like Monsters or puzzle pieces that appears and disappears. Whole thing takes place in like, Dystopian Future Tech Universe and we're just seeing World of Warcraft gamers enjoy their escapism game. Which is part of what makes the "happy" ending a happy ending i think. Like yes the corporations and stuff are still there but, fighting them wasn't really the plot. Its as happy as they can get in this life. Volunteer program is still Insane though. (sorry about the rambling post i know you didn't ask but nobody i know has played crosscode and i liked your stuff)

oh yeah absolutely. ik i joked about the instanced locations being horrifying in terms of sheer scale lol but yeah it does make complete sense in-universe. its just crazy to imagine the size of the compounds where the instances are stored. do they have to periodically expand them as the playerbase grows...? i mean i guess that might not be that difficult. presumably the actual dungeon rooms are instant matter-based and the actual outer shell of the compounds may be instant matter as well since we see lea break through it. but at least some parts of vermillion tower are shown to be real physical constructions!

& yeah i think a major point of the narrative is that it doesn't matter if the world they live in isn't "real"; it doesn't make their experiences or connections w each other any less real or important. (that one convo in VW really solidifies this) & i think thats inextricably tied to the overarching commentary on video games and online friendships and such

i think overall the ending stands well on its own and i dont actually think it needs to be "fixed" in any way, youre completely right that dealing with The Corporations is not the point. but there sure are a bunch of fun little loose threads there for me to pull at!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, never apologize for sending me an unprompted wall of text about crosscode. in fact, people should do this more often. i always like to think and talk about crosscode and its impossible to bother me by talking about it. Please send me ltierally any crosscode thoughts or opinions that you want my input on. it will make my day

[mxmoonjelly17]

PEARLJELLY RAMBLE!!!!

oops all insanity - sponsored by me :]

I believe that Frilled Jellyfish Cookie and White Pearl Cookie is unrequited feelings yuri. The one with the unrequited feelings being Frilled Jelly. It feels like out of all the gem mermaids, Frilled Jellyfish cares about White Pearl the most. If she had her memories, i’m sure she would have insisted on finding a way to talk to Black Pearl despite the dangers. Not only that, but her extra dialogue (for when you unlock her as a playable character and she’s able to wander around your kingdom/you’re able to view her stats, etc.) White Pearl Cookie often. (I think crimson only mentions her specifically like ONCE lmaoo) Ik using this as evidence for lore might be not the best but it must hold some weight considering devsis will drop information like Butter Roll Cookie being a student of the darkness school place thing in the form of an interaction with Espresso Cookie. Which they wouldn’t add for no reason. Anyways examples of Frilled Jellyfish Cookie mentioning White Pearl that are relevant here are; (important stuff is in italics, with notes sprinkled in)

“My job is to keep White Pearl Cookie beautiful as always.” (She thinks shes pretty 😭)

“I’ll never forget the day I met White Pearl Cookie!” (She says this like it was the best day of her life and yk what good for her honestly she needs a win)

“Almighty Sea is behind all fateful encounters!” 

“The Sea guided me to my lady. T’was Fate!” (this and the two previous lines of dialogue mentioned HAVE to be connected in some way im sorry yall)

“Doesn’t the rippling moonlight remind you of a shiny pearl?” (I feel like this could be connected to Seamoon in a way. With Frilled Jellyfish taking the role of Moonlight Cookie, someone White Pearl yearns for even though she’s ‘gone’ [gone as in dead but not really] and can’t reach her iff that makes sense)

“Dear jellyfish, do you got any stories for White Pearl Cookie?” (Goes out of her way to make White Pearl Cookie happy)

“White Pearl Cookie is who I serve!” (the way this line is delivered makes her sound so proud of this fact)

“White Pearl Cookie is the most lovely gem mermaid there is!” (GUYS COME ON???? THERES NO WAY SHE ISNTINLOVEAUFIGUSHGS IUOH)

Anyways, as shown, Frilled Jellyfish cookie talks about White Pearl a lot. Moreso than Sea Fairy Cookie references Moonlight Cookie which is saying something considering what she does in A Mermaid’s Tale LMAO. Another example of Frilled Jellyfish Cookie showing how much she cares about White Pearl is being on her deathbed and deciding to tell White Pearl how happy she made her (I liked the life of following the currents aimlessly, but only having met you down here made me truly happy.”) and comforts her as she nearly dies. Also there’s “Soon i’ll get back up as if nothing happened. To be with you.” like???? Cmon ya’ll. Then, post near-death, even after losing her memories, forgetting her name. There’s still a small part of her that somewhat remembers White Pearl, or at the very least recalls that there’s someone important she’s missing. 

So yeah, Frilled Jellyfish Cookie is in love with White Pearl Cookie. No cap.

As for White Pearl? I think she doesn’t have any feelings for Frilled Jellyfish Cookie beyond platonic at the moment. But if she were to hypothetically, get a redemption arc then maybe, just maybe. She’d begin to fall for the jelly. If Black Pearl and Frilled Jellyfish cookie reunited then it’d be an arc of Black Pearl learning to be vulnerable, accept love, and push past her probable trust issues and love again. Also get over yk, losing her pearl. With Frilled Jellyfish cookie, having accidentally stumbled upon her (still without her memories, though she may have recovered some because of the gem mermaids.), and slowly recovering her full memory while falling in love with the Lady of the Black Sea all over again. They both fall for eachother basically and it’s great and omfg i need to write a FIC.

As a bonus, here’s some headcanons.

WP and FJ would swim through the sea currents together for fun. Very relaxing.

FJ is older than WP by like a year I think. To me they both seem to be in a similar age range but FJ seems slightly more mature. Though not on the same level as Crimson Coral who’s probably in her 30-40’s(?) she seems old.

If my redemption arc idea happens it’d be FJ who’d find Black Pearls’ pearl somehow and then try to return it to her <3 it’s like a proposal.

I think WP would have taken FJ to the surface once or twice, though FJ was too hesitant to stay for too long. Even if she loves her lady.

The two will go out together and WP will listen to FJ tell her stories, the two have a secret designated spot for it that nobody knows about.

I have more but like. This post is long enough. 

This is my ramble!!! Sorry for this CRK Tumblr i couldn’t resist. Oh yeah their shipname is Pearljelly and I love them. 

[tojikai]

I just finished the “home” series, i just found your account yesterday yet all that’s left for me to read is “permanent mark”🙃

Like the “fix you” series, i ended up with alot of questions which is weird because i don’t have any for sundered but then again, im more of a toji girl

Questions:

- why did toji cheat?

- What happened in their marriage for it to get like that?

- did he ever truly fall out of love?

- do you have any plans for another story series?

- what would’ve happened if she hadn’t died?

- would’ve he regretted it or come back to her eventually?

- did he think of her daily after her death?

- how was he feeling after her death, years after?

- why did he put his mistress over his wife?

- Does he love his mistress more

- what’s up with the whole thing he did/him putting her over his wife

- what was his thought process when it first happened and after it kept happening

- ik he said he didn’t love hana but why would he cheat and basically put her over his wife if he didn’t?!?!

- i read 3 out of 4 stories so far and it seems like there a pattern of dudes putting someone they think they love yet don’t over someone they do or love more, is there any reason’s for it

Just me rambling about the story and your other stories:

I know he did but i hope toji suffers so so so much more until his last breath! (He did but I hope it felt like it was infinite for him😌) also Fuck hana! Wtf😭😭 if only toji didn’t fuck up bro its so sad, im hating yet understanding him?? If that makes sense, actually no not understanding but sympathetic towards him in the first ending ig but still fuck toji!!! I felt bad for him and then the next life chapter??? With his thoughts wtf and putting hana over y/n again😭 fuck toji!! he basically emotionally cheated if i was y/n i would’ve lefttt!! I swear your y/n’s are saints compared to me shhsjs

Your stories are so beautifully written yet so sad

I love them even if i might hate the love interest lol

Im More of the resentment type so it feels so silly to say this especially over a fanfic(but then again all of yours are so wonderfully written) but your stories i guess have made me possibly see things in a different light: like ppl do make mistakes and can change or genuinely regret them or that people can maybe hurt the people they love which is so weird for me to say because its a story and also im the type to refuse to believe you can love someone after you treated them so badly or cheated on them. Ig ur stories have made me realizes humans make mistakes and they aren’t BAD people for it butt the pppl they hurt doesn’t have to take them back nor forgive them or they can and it lean to something better than what would’ve been if they ended things

Note:

Im so sorry if im asking too much and i hope im not bothering you, i just tend to talk alot regarding things that i get invested in and i get so curious sbsjsj

Im probably writing this much because im so sleepy right now haha (my apologies especially if i wrote so much nonsense or I didn’t write/explain things wellh

thank you in advance if you answer 🫶i appreciate it, have a good day/night🖤i hope y enjoy the remaining of summer! Tysm for creating these masterpieces ‼️

hiii omg thanks so much, im glad that you enjoyed them <3

- to answer the first 3 questions: toji cheated bc he was bored. i have no excuses for this man in home series bc he really cheated bc their rs was getting a bit dull for him. do u know that point they say in some lovers' relationship. the drought, the feeling similar to "falling out of love" but they say not to leave your partner during this time bc that's when true love begins? yeah that. 🥹 he didn't really fell out of love but it's like a similar feeling to it.

- as for plans for another series, i'm thinking of doing a mini one. i have a draft here just waiting to be polished and published.

- if yn didn't die, hmm... assuming they stayed together, it's gonna be a very dead relationship. bc yn is so so tired. not just emotionally but mentally too. she's gonna have a hard time believing that toji still loves her even if he tried to explain. she's gonna be very reserved and visibly uncomfortable around him, thinking that he doesn't really want to be w her and just staying out of pity. she's gonna limit herself, and the love that she shows him. it will ultimately end in divorce, and he's gonna end up not wanting to sign it.

- yes, toji would've still regretted it even if yn didn't die. he's bound to come back to yn eventually. the day he left, he never planned on staying with his mistress for long. he just went there bc he was frustrated and he's trying to run away from yn's confrontation and the consequences. deep inside he was hoping that yn won't push through w the 'divorce.'

- for the 7th and 8th question, yes toji thought of yn every day and every night. the onyl time he's not thinking of her is when he's swarmed with work. but even during those times, his mind wanders to her still. the feeling that he felt when he learned of her death and discovered how she prepared everything for him and his new life was how he felt his whole life. it was never lessened. if anything it only got worse w time.

- for the 9th, 10th and 11th question: no, he didn't love his mistress more than yn. he left and put his mistress over his wife bc he thought that's what he wanted. there was a sense of thrill, the feeling of being with someone new that pushed him to act like that. as mentioned in the home series, his pride took over and he thought that that's the freedom that he wanted but it wasn't. it was too late when he realized that. you really don't know what you got until it's gone. he thought yn's gonna be there forever and that's why he kept choosing to go to his mistress not knowing that yn's days were numbered and that he's about to lose her.

- when he first cheated w her out of pure lust. there was no deeper meaning to it. and then it kept happening bc he found escape and thrill in it. other than that, she gives him a different type of attention, something new.

- w hana it was the attraction that made him act like that. im not saying all people, but some tend to be nice to attractive people and they don't even notice that to impress a new one, they end up neglecting another one. other than that, it's bc they work together. he doesn't plan on getting it on w her tho. he loves yn.

- i just like the thought of them making mistakes to learn from LMAO but i guess the difference is in fix you, his wife's dead. it's the lack of appreciation for the present and being stuck in the past. while in sundered, uhm it's a lot of pride and he did love Naomi tho. she was so good to him. (except that 'thing' she tried to do)

it makes me happy when people say they learn something from the content i put out🥺 the fact that you guys read my masterlist also makes me happy bc it makes me realize that literature really do make something immortal AAAAA i enjoyed reading this and answering your questions~ thank you so much for the love and support you give my stories <3 hope you're having a great week ~!!

[kenobster]

Hey just wanna say i (as an individual who ships obikin) thank u for putting encouraging words about obikin even if u see them as besties. It’s really discouraging to see so many other shippers sh*tting on obikin people just for shipping obiwan and anakin. Yes ik it’s a controversial ship if u look at it closely but i just do it for fun (and love the chemistry between them). I dont shit on other ships (unless it’s really REALLY problematic) and like cant they just leave us alone in peace?? Same with reylo like yes it’s another controversial ship but again if u dont think and/or look too hard then just have fun with it.

I dont mind codywan im not a huge fan but i see why they ship it, just aint feeling it like obikin does. Same for the rest of other ships (except for dinluke i will die for it as well)

Sorry for the ramble (^^;) long story short that campaign speech u put for the silly ship poll was well put!

Hi anon, I am incredibly glad to hear that I could reassure you after all the mean things that antishippers have been saying about your ship. Ship and let ship is a crucial rule in this house of mine, in which Obikin and Codywan are both very welcome. :D

However, I do invite you to examine some of your own beliefs about this subject. Specifically, I'm curious what compelled you to say "I don't shit on other ships (unless it's really REALLY problematic)." While that's the part that most stood out to me, there is other concerning verbiage in your ask (i.e. the frequent use of the word "controversial" and "if u don't think and/or look too hard" which both felt like similar apologetic statements you use when shipping something you feel others will judge you for).

First, I want to highlight what you said about why you ship Obikin — "i just do it for fun (and love the chemistry between them)." To me, that communicates that you don't see any harm in someone enjoying a ship purely because it is appealing to them. Additionally, you say, "can't they just leave us alone in peace??" which suggests frustration that other people don't share your opinion.

Is it possible that the "really REALLY problematic" ships are enjoyed by people for reasons similar to yours? Is it possible that they, too, would like others to leave them alone and let them enjoy a harmless hobby in peace? What makes it acceptable to shit on their ships and not yours? Who gets to decide which ship is an Obikin-level ship and which is a "really REALLY problematic" ship? You? Me? Can you be certain that our definitions agree?

The first thing you should consider is what makes you feel like a ship is "really REALLY problematic." I think you'll find that most of it is a Squick factor — a gross-level factor. Maybe Obikin is "hot" to you, but it does gross other people out. Similarly, perhaps some ships, especially ones with components that might not make much sense in real life, are "hot" to others but gross you out.

For example, I'd like you to picture Chancellor Palpatine kissing AOTC Anakin on the mouth. Make sure your imagination includes Anakin's young boyish features and his barely-legal Padawan braid. 😉 Now imagine them having sex. In case you're having a hard time picturing this, here's some pictures of them to help you out! 😊

If you're like most people I know, I bet you're super grossed out right now. You might even consider Palpakin to be much more problematic than Obikin. But I chose Palpakin as a comparison for a reason! Because, when it comes down to it, how are these two ships any different in scale? Anakin views both Obi-Wan and Palpatine as a father figure. Both have mentored Anakin since he was 9 years old. There is a significant age gap and power imbalance in both ships. I've even read both Obikin and Palpakin fics that feature sexual activities with Anakin while he's still a minor.

It seems the only difference is that one tends to gross out the average person more than the other. Is being grossed out a reason to shit on someone's harmless hobby? For example, I'm extremely grossed out by sushi. Is that a reason to ban sushi worldwide? Obikin might gross me out, but I don't come after you or your fellow shippers. Palpakin might gross you out, but that's not an excuse to come after me. And maybe other ships gross both of us out, but I will not join you in going after them.

In other words, ALL fandommers, as you so aptly put, "just want to be left alone" and "enjoy the chemistry" of their ship without "thinking about it too hard." So until you agree that NO ship is problematic, you are inviting the same criticism upon ships that YOU like. Because anti-shippers aren't just coming for the "really REALLY problematic" ships; they're coming for every single one of them.

[kkotda]

koi koi koi!!! i am dropping by with a few things i find pretty bc april is so very pretty to me! 🍞🌻💭🌷☀️🫧✨🌱💗🍓 how are you?? i hope the month is lovely to you 🥺

i also come back with a curious sel question 🤓 a more technical writing one but, what is your anchor point to writing a character like hajime or kenma? what part of them do you like exploring and what quality of theirs stays the same to you across any universe you put them in? 🥺

MISS SEL!!!! trading pretty things (i shall cherish yours with my life)!!!: ✨🩷🌷💐🌙☔️🌊🍀🪴🍮

i hope april is perfect to you <3

OOH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION (cut because it got so insanely long 😭)

okay um so warning it’s 4am so i might ramble/yap too much but for iwa (because ik he’s your fav :3) i like to imagine like what evokes protection/dependence/reliability (ik these aren’t great words so it’s purely off vibes) because i imagine iwa (well generally this applies to any character if we really get down to it, but him in particular <3) as the forest of forests: he’s the kind to have his hand on your lower back as he guides you through dense crowds. or he’ll be the one to pull you in, hands on your waist, resting his head on your shoulder (this gets me so weak!!!! i’m just a girl!!!!!). he might even be the one with the yearning gazes, heart longing for yours, and watching you from afar as he basks in your warmth and is completely entranced by your light. he might be the one completely at your mercy, chasing for your lips, for your touch. etc etc right lol but to get back to the question (;-;) i think my anchor point for him is his dependability if that makes sense?? how you can always rely him, his loyalty. it’s criminal how i haven’t actually written anything for him in such a long time (that needs to change like immediately) but i think i’ll enjoy not being shackled to “canon” iwa and it would really be nice to explore my interpretation of him and what i imagine his character to be! rather than what used to be popular with him as the “tall brooding bf” (at least from what i saw ;-;) i want him to be so in love he’s sick to his stomach. he’s just a boy after all!!! <3 no matter what, anything he does will make me weak. absolutely weak. sliding down walls, clutching my fake pearls weak. LOL but yeah i actually really really want to write for him now omg this is not good (lie)

AND KENMA (kyanmaaa :3) i’m going to answer this so out of order i’m sorry but the one thing that will never change about kenma is his somewhat laidback personality, his ability to stay calm and collected (so ofc i have to add a bit of flavor right?) he will always be down bad for his lover (aka me 😋) and will cave immediately (can’t ever tell them no, within reason) i love the idea of calm/“apathetic” characters losing their absolute mind and voice of reasoning for their lovers and ik kenma isn’t the typical character type for it (some might think differently than i do? which is perfectly okay ofc) in my head he is (and it fits him so well!!!!!!). i hate that i can’t answer your questions really well because it’s been so long but character complexity will always be something i love to explore and just the things that i’m down for will stay the same LOLLL (🎀). wait i was rereading and i need to elaborate on the losing voice of reason part because i didn’t explain it very well lol: he’s the soft lover, kissing your knuckles, tracing kisses up (or down! lol) your neck to your jaw (or shoulder), smoothing/playing with your hair, caressing your thumb while your hand is in his <3 it’s the keeping you close and enjoying each other’s company. it’s the soft smile playing on lips when you’re near but straight-faced when you’re far (he’s not going to look like he straight up wants to murder somebody (most times) but it’ll be obvious he’d much rather be somewhere else (obviously)). it’s the “touch them and i kill you” (oh and this with iwa too, god.) and “i never want to lose you.” mind, body, and heart getting drunk, addicted even, to the sight, feel, and sound (can’t forget taste :3) of you. can’t be apart because he’d just buy whatever ever thing he needs to be/get near you, price be damned. nothing else matters, nothing else could matter, as long as you existed within the folds of his brain and beating of his heart. i actually think i just babbled about something without really explaining what i meant to explain lol but the point is is like i love him (them, to include iwa) so much and i think if i ever could get my brain to focus on something enough, it would be this :3

tl;dr i’m down bad (and it shows)

I ACTUALLY ALSO HATE HOW MY BRAIN CANT DIFFERENTIATE EACH CHARACTER FROM EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY ALL FIT THE SCENARIOS SO WELL that will be my new goal: to create versions of each character that is so unique (or at least distinguishable) that it’s like yeah, yeah that’s xyz character and it’s like indisputable to myself

[vertiny]

SARAH'S RIN-SOCIATION ♡

happy birthday rin ( @dinoes ) !!! i hope today is a wonderful day for you bc you deserve nothing less 🫶🥰 ik we haven't talked much yet but you've been nothing but welcoming and sweet, constantly making me (almost) cry-- in a good way FKDJSJ you're so kind to little ol' me and that means a lot 🥹 you remind me of warm fairy lights in the way i instantly feel peaceful and relaxed around you 🩵💖 can't wait to see what 2024 brings you, and i can only hope i'm around to see it all. ilysm you deserve the most 🫶💛💖🩵

under the cut is a little bday ramble + an explanation for why these idols are associated 🫶

wooyoung - well . the biggest reason for this one is ofc @/wouyoung but other than that ! he's such a warm, goofy and loving person, just like you !! he gives off the vibes of someone who has the ability to make you feel at ease instantly and you are the same !! i know i've told you that i'm someone who is always an admirer from afar bc Shy™, but i really felt like the second we started talking that any nerves i had went out the window immediately bc you were (and still are heh) so kind and open and you're always engaging with me and my thoughts and you don't mind my (sometimes nervous) ramblings

dongheon - now look, i can't exactly explain this one KSJDG but for some reason when i think of who i associate with you, heoni is like . right up there? both of you are really happy people, always ready to be silly seconds after some serious moments and it's a really nice ability to have within your personality. dongheon might not be a bias you have out of the vrvr boys, but he's a rin dude in my head 🤭 (+ your octopus comment reminded me of heoni being the same<3)

jongho - putting him in my pocket alongside you so you'll have company in there 🥰💖 that brief time you had your url changed to jongsan too really cemented them into my head as rin dudes too (and bc he's obvi a bias !)

yongseung - bc he's in your carrd !! and he's a funky lil dude, and from the bits i know of you and have seen on your blog / on the dash, it's no question that yongs would be a bias, at least for me. he's like dongheon in the sense of "this is a rin dude" without having a proper explination? plus imo all hwanwoong biasers are bound to bias yongseung too<3 KJSDGH idk it makes sense, they're debut besties in the way vrvr and oneus debuted the same day AND in the way that hwanwoong and yongseung are friends too !! (took them forever to get each other's numbers bc vrvr only had emails but SDJFGHK)

san - i would like to give him a hug and so like . a BIG hug to you too 🥺 + there's always ppl out there saying that san is intimidating and before i got to talking to you, in my head, you were kinda the same bc it felt like you were such a big presence, y'know? and while, to me, you still have that big presence, the "intimidation" has more moved to "i've just befriended this giant puppy dog who's the most affectionate"? if that makes any sense AT ALL LMAO i don't blame you if none of my sentences make sense to you

hwanwoong - he's just a little dude. lmao jk i kid (or do i?) but he's got such a fierce determination and such a strong power behind himself and idk i get the same feeling from you and that makes me smile. plus your hwanwoong url too LMAO

tbh all of these guys could have a "they're so nice and warm and kind and welcoming and i love them a lot just like you" attached to them and it'd be 100% true !!! so i'm sorry about some of them being longer than the others 😭 anyways, again happy birthday beloved ! i hope today was / is a good one bc you deserve it 🥰🥺💗💛

[sherbetlemonss]

hi! any headcanons on how the McDuck trio interacted/hung out before the show? I am now obsessed with them, they don't directly see each other as siblings but are united by Dad McDuck™, I love it so much brilliant

Hi thank you sm for this ask :D I’ll try my best to answer in a way that make sense but I can’t promise that I will 😅

Rambles under readmore bc ik some peeps don’t want to see my nonsense probably lol

Ok so basically

With Gy and Webs I feel like Gyro would have met Webby when she was young and when she got a little older she’d always want to hang with him and whenever she could she’d see if she could visit Gyro in the lab because she thought his work was cool and whatnot. Maybe Gyro found it irritating at first but he eventually got used to it and (I liked the thought of this silly hc before the mcduck trio was come up with or whatever) Webby is like the first one of the main kids he’s actually nice to (I have a dumb comic for this but it’s OLD like 2020 old so that’s staying in the depths of my old ibis gallery)

With Lp and Gyro it’s like kind of the same thing, Lp obvs works for Scrooge and wants to befriend anyone he meets that also works for Scrooge, he loves having work buddies/buddies in general, so naturally he tries to be friends with Gyro. Gyro is Not having it at first, y’ know being his normal abrasive self, giving his passive aggressive or more so aggressive replies but it doesn’t deter Lp at all. After their first interaction Lp visits Gyro in his lab sometimes to the disdain of Gyro, Launchpad usually like idk has a one sided conversation with Gyro and then leaves; maybe Gyro secretly appreciates the company. Then that turns into longer visits and eventually Gyro slowly warming up to Launchpad and actually contributing to the conversations (albeit curtly at first) and sometimes Launchpad brings lunch for Gyro since Gyro doesn’t take breaks as often as he should.

Canonically (I think) Webby and Lp don’t meet until the Woo-oo! So ig they start getting to know each other after that, but then again, I have never been one to adhere to canon but I also can’t think of anything else rn I’m sorry

This might not make any sense but ya, I feel like they grew closer during the show and once Scrooge started to go back to his old self and stuff so yeah 👍

Feel free to send in any other questions because I know this may not make sense or if I didn’t answer the ask right at all 😭😭 but ya :]

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

hello, bkdk shipper here.

Katsuki seems like an izuku simp these days, just look at the latest chapters. Makes me scramble to remember his other traits. Anyways.

There are some analysis u might want to read, mainly how japanese culture works. Cuz like, i only really forgave Bakugo after learning tht it's encouraged to bully the person who doesn't fit in. Ok so to me bakugo bullied deku bcause he saw deku was a better hero then him n lashed out in insecurity; was enabled by his peers and didn't think it was bad. Teenagers shud hv a good grasp on whts right and wrong, but also consider what they are taught.

I mindlessly used to ship bkdk before bcz i read them talking after dvk2. I was like 14 i think 🤔. I hv been there, been the cringe shipper u guys all hate so i understand why u dont like shippers.

Mostly just dropping by to admit i, a dumbass bkdk shipper, went diving in the anti tags, n came out alive. Why is it tht the antis n shippers only see the worst of each other? I only engage with the tumblr bkdk fandom n they're pretty chill n stay true to the material, hardly see weird headcanons. But i do see some. Mitsuki being abusive? What? Anything to make Bakugo sympathetic, amirite? To me, Bkgs story is tht he is a natural asshole but is learning to be a hero. I'll wait till the end of the story to full judge how hori deals his story. I hv a life outside of it n can wait.

Bkdk fandom is the same as any other fandom, has its good and bad sides. I dont wanna interact with the bad side so im turning on anon and venting in anti bkdk lmao.

i hv some complaints abt the execution, SPOILERS (hawks came in too suddenly for me. Like, ik as soon as his quirk was stolen tht he wud play a major role. But it still icks me how it was done. Bakugo has been thinking abt Izuku for unrealistic amounts of time. Yada yada.)

Sorry for the ramble in ur ask but im technically venting ✌️ thanks for letting me use ur space

Of course 😊.

You are right in saying that there are good and bad parts of the Katsuki and BkDk fandom. It’s why I always make sure to refer to the bad side as Stans and the good side as fans. I’ve got no issues with fans who simply like the character. At the end of the day, it’s whatever. I personally just hate Katsuki and I have issues with the Stans who swarm people who have different opinions. Sadly, like you said, this is something that happens in all fandoms. A BkDk shipper who frequents this blog mentioned how IzuOcha shippers started sending them death threats for not liking the ship which is horrible.

I will say that I definitely agree with you in a sense that Katsuki’s character is utterly attached to Izuku. He really can’t function on his own without him.

[nicromancytarot]

thank you for explaining in such detail!

my problem is i cant seem to let go of this one kpop idol, ik its so unrealistic that we would ever date and i bitterly regret not doing something cool like music before the internet came about its been an interest of mine for pretty much over a decade and due to unhelpful situations i never stuck to anything or not being sure of what i wanted to do. my other issue there is a bit of an age gap, not by a much but its like i cannot stop thinking of them, even if there r other celebs i could be obsessing about i still always seem to go back to this one idol in particular even if theres dozens of other idols i could crush on or theres other groups i might follow it still seems ro lead me back to this one idol specifically and its very annoying. i cannot even take a break from liking him its constant every other day he pops in my head like a fucking lightbulb and i immediately then regret not doing something really cool with my life bc then maybe id have small chance of meeting him at least but alas never going to happen

i have only dreamt of them once or twice i forget the exact amount yet that was only after i had watched a reading for them so that was bizzarre bc a) i dont dream much, b) if i do they usually dont make much sense anyway and c) i have yet to have any dreams of kpop idols full stop like askde from one other idol i have barely had any dreams feature idols except for this one guy, twice, i knew it was him right off the bat

my other issue is any other celeb i have ever liked recently have been of similar water sign to this idol almost like a weird pattern. i have been told my fs is footballer (premier league? i presume could be wrong theres other leagues too and i have been to several matches albiet not recently) but i dont know how much to believe in it, i asked someone else they said it was soulmate connection, i asked someone else once again they said i had seen them but not met them and they didnt think much of me

yet i keep going back to this other kpop idol all the damned time i swear im not their fs and im not connected to them in any way again i dont think anyone would bother dating me at this age with my lack of dating experience might not interest anyone and tbqfh im not fussed if i dont date but im still curious as to who they are or if id truly love them but at the samr time again i dont particularly want to be so delulu about it and be like oh my god i have to date them i need a relationship and be so desperate about it i think that would be off putting if it was forced like that

sorry for my rambling but it was such an interesting topic that i hope u dont mind me sharing my experiences so far with tarot and lately an interest in divination

I like to think that any connection we make whether it be through the internet or in person, there is always a reason for it, this person could be the gateway to you understanding how you’d like to be treated in the future by your next partners and future spouse. It’s definitely normal to have a crush on a celebrity so don’t feel bad about that, you’ll definitely meet your future spouse soon enough with the right decisions and choices, by that point you’ll hopefully be able to let go of this idol that you feel so much for.

Perhaps they were connected to you in a past life and that’s why they still serve such a purpose in your life now.

My future spouse and I served a few lives together where we were all different things, going from soulmate friends in one, to absolute worst enemies in the next, and then owing our lives to each other in the one after that. I’m not quite too sure of his purpose in my life this time around, I assume this is my last life so it would make sense to connect with him one last time in the physical.

You may find that this idol is someone who shapes you to be the person that you want to be, perhaps he will push you to get back into music, I’m also working on becoming a musician lmao, that’s how my future spouse and I shall meet (which makes almost no sense since he pretty much will be out of the influencing circle by then, but whatever fate wants I suppose) He may not be there for you to be romantically involved with, but his presence could cause you to try and make something out of those discarded dreams of yours, which could eventually bring you to be with your future spouse.

[spoiltizzy]

Aside from Izzy, Ed, and Stede, what, if any, other OFMD characters do you have an interest in seeing gain?

In addition, do you tend to favor certain branches (ik there's def a better word but I am like 3 mins away from bed so my brain is off rn) of feedism over another for particular characters, or do your interests remain fairly steady across the board (ex: prefer to see character A getting hand fed, have a thing for character b burping, seeing stretch marks on C, vs liking to see the same scenarios for a, b, and c)?

I was in the pub when I got this and I’ve been thinking about it but that doesn’t mean my answer is going to be any less rambly than usual sorry haha. I talk about dubcon scenarios in this more than I usually would, so. Just a warning. Um, I did once write sprizzy, but unfortunately at this point I’m sort of more in the Stede, Ed, and Izzy fandom than the OFMD fandom, if that makes any sense. You’d think that I’d be more interested in the heavier characters in OFMD, given my kink, I guess? Or more interested in other characters for other reasons. I mean, Fang has his tummy out all the time, and Roach seems to be quite a passionate chef. But I connected the most with Stede, Ed, and Izzy, and sadly the other characters really just do not scratch my brain, and there are some of them that I actually really dislike, like Ricky and Jack.

Jack, at least, I’d be willing to have horny thoughts about, but the situations I mentally put him in are all sort of demeaning and humiliating towards him. Sometimes worse. Maybe there’s a market for that, haha, idk. I didn’t understand hate sex until I read a CJ fanfic one time. I find him so annoying that I’d do kinky things to him but in a demeaning way, which is weird, because normally this kink is, if not always soft, usually at least sort of loving for me. It’s almost the only time that I have any interest in gaining being used in a genuine humiliation or punishment way, rather than anything of that sort being just roleplay between characters who actually love each other. Even when I think about Izzy being humiliated or feminized in a humiliating way, which is a weird kink of mine but hey, I grew up in a society full of gender roles so I’m allowed to have kinks about shit that’s been a part of my upbringing’s culture, usually I imagine that the people doing that to him have a lot of affection towards him, whereas any cuteness Stede or Ed saw in Jack in the scenarios in my head is in an actually condescending way with no respect for him. In fact the scenario sort of rests on them approaching the exchange with animosity towards him, which probably makes this my most controversial horny fantasy about pirates. Still, just because I find Jack annoying and don’t like him, I doubt I’d ever actually be able to write a fic or draw any art of this scenario or of chubby Jack or any of that. I don’t like the guy, the only satisfaction I get from thinking about him is either in this weird fucked up capacity, OR in a very very specific scenario involving Stede which I’ll get to later, because I think it’s kinda related to the second part of the question.

Given I am mostly only interested in my three favourite pirates, I can only really answer that second part of the question in relation to them, so I hope that’s ok. But yeah, there are different things that I like best for different characters.

I tend to favour Izzy in I guess what you’d describe as more submissive roles. That doesn’t necessarily always mean him being bigger. For example, the idea of a fat Stede and Ed feeding Izzy because their baseline for what he should weigh is thrown off by their own ideas of how big someone should be, given what they’ve done to themselves. Izzy also tends to be the only one who I’d put in more dubcon situations, like… force-feeding (though it’s worth noting I want him to secretly enjoy it) or weird fantasy intox scenarios where he’s being fattened up and might not be fully aware of it. He’s also my favourite pick for being the spoiled pet out of the three. In general, though I adore Izzy, he’s unfortunately the one that I tend to put in the weirdest most demeaning scenarios of the three. I have also been guilty of making him so fucking stupid because I think it’s funny, cute, and sometimes a little hot in the right scenarios. Like, if the crew realises giving Izzy food shuts him up and he has no idea why it’s happening and doesn’t realise he’s getting fat because of it, or, like I said, in weird fantasy intox scenarios where he’s just… not especially aware of what’s happening. He likes it, though. And he’s always very very loved. The only scenario I can imagine Izzy being somewhat akin to dominant in is just under the circumstances in which he’s petting Ed’s hair and saying sweet comforting things to Ed while Ed “some kind of mommy issues probably” Teach nuzzles and mouths and sucks on Izzy’s tits. Um. What can I say, dude, I’m a weirdo.

Ed’s really hot, and though he may not be suave at heart, he’s capable of acting all cool and sexy and stuff, and for some reason that kinda inspires the desire to see him be completely unabashed about his gain more than I want to see that with either of the others. Or even perhaps unaware of it, or at least acting unaware of it. Ed’s the sort of person where I can totally see him always eating whatever the fuck he wants, and then one day his metabolism really starts to slow down but he keeps eating like always and it just doesn’t occur to him that gaining weight is ever on the agenda. Sneaks up on him because he’s never worried about managing his weight in his life, so he’s not prepared for getting a little older and his sweet tooth having consequences all of a sudden. But I don’t think he’d be ashamed when he realised he was getting chubby, or at least he definitely wouldn’t if he realised Stede and Izzy liked it. And because he’s never had any shame about his food choices, he remains shameless about his sweet tooth and his appetite. That’s a specific fantasy I have quite regularly about Ed, but wouldn’t necessarily put to any of the other characters. And this is related to intox more than tummy, but this is my kink blog so I’ll just say whatever I want on it, but I also sort of like the idea of an Ed who somehow still expects his alcohol tolerance to be what it was when he was in his 20s and partying a lot— I imagine this is sort of just Ed lore in every universe, lol, in some context. Even if “partying” was just getting drunk with Jack on pirate versions of shore leave or something. So he might overdo it and then just insist, while tripping over his words a little and hiccuping, that he wasn’t drunk. But not cause he’s lying, just because he genuinely didn’t expect to be drunk already, and he’s a cute silly billy who thinks he isn’t drunk. Ed’s versatile. He can be a good kitty or a sweetheart who deserves to be spoiled or he can be the kraken demanding to be fed more with a gun in his hand. He can be using his appetite and his pudgy belly to fluster Stede or Izzy on purpose, or he can be so unprepared to have gained weight but so unabashed about his cropped tops and appetite he’s doing it accidentally.

Stede’s a funny one because I usually make him slightly more dominant than the others, in a soft way, in my head. Though that is NOT a rule. I will write flustered or submissive Stede or Stede being teased sometimes. I like a lot of things for Stede, I love it when he feeds another character or fattens them up, I love it when he has those desires and he executes them, but obviously mutual gaining is a really big thing for me so I like him to gain and/or be pudgy too. Though I always want Stede a bit chubby, and usually pudgier than he canonically is by a notable amount, I don’t necessarily feel a need for him to be as big as the others, whereas if I were writing a scenario where Ed or Izzy were not as fat as Stede I would want them to catch up or surpass Stede in weight/size. Maybe it’s because I relate more to Stede, but I tend to give him the most feedery role in my head and though I don’t mind the thought of him catching up or matching the others if they were gaining, I don’t have anywhere near as much of a desire to see him surpass the others. Ed or Izzy on the other hand I would love to see surpass the others. I know I’ve just repeated myself but oh well.

Also, though I like it when all of them burp, I have more of a thing for Stede burping. It’s odd because to me it counts as a sort of subversion of expectations that I adore applying to Stede, but it’s hard to explain exactly why. After all, Stede’s not exactly polite. I guess, though, that he doesn’t come across as gross or messy, so the idea of Stede burping aloud, or aloud in front of others, unabashedly, or letting out rather loud/big burps is kinda hot to me BECAUSE Stede… though he’s willing to pick up pickled noses in his bare hands or dig around in the dirt, he doesn’t have gross vibes, or the vibes of a man who would burp aloud.

That’s where that other Jack fantasy comes in, actually. It’s purely this: I think it would be sort of hot, if say, Jack and Ed were drinking beer and trying to one-up each other’s burps, you know, like the frat boys they were, and Stede just. Got fed up of it, and tried to get them to stop by proceeding to burp in such a manner as to win whatever silly burping contest Jack and Ed were up to. Or if Jack and Stede got catty with each other and it somehow lead to some sort of competition like that, and Ed and Stede’s crew were like “wow, ok, didn’t see that coming” about it. Haha.

So yeah, it is rather different for all the characters, and my rules do all tend to have exceptions. But in general, Izzy’s the one I’m most willing to demean, lovingly. Izzy’s not the only one I tend to make stupid or under the influence of something that makes him so so silly and dumb, but I tend to enjoy doing that to him a lot more than the others. I don’t really like Stede to be the biggest one in the endgame but he can be equal to the other(s). Also, this has nothing to do with tummy, but I like Stede to top. I think this is because Stede is sorta my projection character a lot of the time, and I have an unwavering preference for topping. I like the idea of like… force-feeding as roleplay for both Ed and Izzy but not really for Stede. I tend to like my Ed shameless and my Izzy more often full of shame but for horny reasons, though when Stede’s full of shame it’s usually for angsty reasons.

Basically, yeah, I have a set of different preferences depending on the character, but it’s all sort of weird and complicated and full of exceptions and not really following all that many patterns. I mean, it does follow patterns, but… ah, I don’t know.

SORRY for talking this much, have fun tackling this fucking CHUNK of text, lmao. um. oops.