#sorry for ruining your fucking life or w/e!!!!!

[theladygazingatemptiness]

you know what, you’re absolutely right!!!!!!! everything is about You!!!! the world revolves around You!!!!! you’re the poor innocent victim in every single situation ever!!!! your shit is made out of solid gold and smells like roses!!!! you’re the one person on earth who’s objectively incapable of doing or saying abusive or shitty things!!!! you’re the pure perfect savior and the only person who does anything significant or productive and everyone else is just a lazy ungrateful leech taking advantage of you!!! you’re never ever the problem or the one in the wrong no matter what!!! Your pain is the only pain that matters, everyone else who’s struggling needs to just shut up and get over it!!!! everyone is persecuting You!!! everyone is conspiring against You specifically!!! every flaw that I have or mistake that I make is an attack against You personally!!!!! You’re the only one whose mental health issues and trauma are real and everyone else’s is fake and invalid!!!! You’re the only person who’s allowed to do anything nice for us, when we let someone who’s Not You do anything nice for us we’re bullying you!!! you’ve never hurt or wronged anyone in your entire life (and if you did it was probably actually their fault anyway and they should quit whining tbh!!!!) and you can do no wrong ever!!!!!!!! everything you do is inherently ok!!! there are no valid criticisms of you!!! anger against you is never ever justified no matter what the fuck you say or do!!! it’s Everyone Else who’s wrong and You’re the one who’s right!!! You’re the good guy and we’re all the bad guys!!! clearly that’s what you want everybody to fucking tell you so there ya go!!!! hope it makes you feel warm inside!!!!

[welcometoteyvat]

"the narrow eyes of Asians would be true purely because of the region"

my good brother in christ, DIE.

[horror-sapphic]

NSFW ALPHABET | WANDA MAXIMOFF

a/n: Sorry for any errors, I barley checked over this.

Cw: NSFW themes (18+)

A — ( aftercare ) - Wanda LOVES to lay on your chest/ having you lay on hers, depending on how rough it got between you two, the night will end with a simmer in the tub before bed.

B — ( body part ) - On you, Wanda loves your hands, constantly craving to be held and touched by them. She daydreams about them wrapped around her, your pretty painted fingers spreading her folds open to get more access to her eager clit.

C — ( cum ) - When she takes control, she loves to make sure you're overstimulated until your swollen pussy is so sensitive you can't even close your legs. Then she leaves you in bed, squirming in your own cum.

D — ( dirty secret ) - When she's out doing chores/at work, she looks around for all the places she can bend you over to fuck you in public.

E — ( experience ) - You both have equal experience, but she's definitely a bit more "skilled".

F — (favorite position ) - She loves watching you bounce and ride her cock, looking down to where it connects inside of you just to watch it slide easily in and out of your soaked pussy and using her thumb to rub over your raised clit peaking out. She loves grabbing your hips to help you keep your rhythm. While taking turns sucking on both of your tits.

G — ( goofy ) - She can be pretty unserious during sex, the only time she's not is when she's in domme mode.

H — ( hair ) - She loves to pull on yours when you eat her out, or when she’s in full Domme mode she loves to pull on it as a way to keep you put.

I — ( intimacy ) - She loves morning sex when it’s just the two of you hazily getting each other off with a gentle touches , soft slow breaths against one another.

J — ( jack off ) - When you're away she'll definitely tune into the homemade tapes you both decided to make a while back, furiously rubbing against her aching clit to the sight of you cumming against her in the videos.

K — ( kink ) - Calling her mommy when she fucks you dumb turns her on more than she'd like to admit, having you whimper out that name while on the brink of cumming on her command just makes her want to ruin you.

L — ( location ) - Everywhere in the house you can think of, Wanda has yet to take you out and have people pass by while she plows into your leaking cunt.

M — ( motivation ) - Sitting back and watching you do things around the house can get her started.

N — ( no's ) - The thought of sharing you with anyone is a hard no for her, you're hers and hers only.

O — ( oral sex ) - Her favorite way to wake you up in the mornings, and to put you to sleep. Her mouth is always fixed on the clit of your pussy, flicking and sucking about.

P — ( pace ) - Oh fuck. When Wanda wants to, she can drag fucking you out for hourrrs. She loves to edge you, watching you on all fours with your cunt literally dripping onto the sheets while you desperately rock back and forth trying to get her to slip back into you.

Q — ( quickie ) - Just like she can go as long as she wants to, she can go pretty fast too. Just pummeling into your pussy fucking it raw to get you off fast, and hard enough to the point where you end up going nonverbal for a little.

R — ( risk ) - Has yet to be risky but wants to, be later in the relationship.

S — ( stamina ) - Going all through the night won't faze her, it's you who has to take a break from her.

T — ( toys ) - Using toys is a common thing in the bedroom for you guys, all sorts of strapons/dildos, plugs, vibrators. You too are constantly using them on each other or on yourselves.

U — ( unfair ) - She loves to tease, she will leave you dripping, waiting for her to come back and make you cum after doing various house tasks.

V — ( volume ) - You always end up louder than you want to, but there have been times when Wanda lets you top and she's the one squirming and whining to come. She can get pretty loud.

W — ( wildcard ) - There is never a dull moment in your sex life with her, she's always making you reach new heights, whether that's making you squirt for the first time, having you take anal for the first time, having you be the one to give her strap (which was your first time), or cumming over and over again until you felt like you melted into your bed.

X — ( x-ray ) —

Y — ( yearning ) - She always wants you to be near her, whenever you're not, she'll look through her photos of you. Until the two of you are reunited.

Z — ( Zzz ) - She enjoys watching your chest rise and fall after a long session, this eases her to sleep but you'd be the one to fall asleep first.

[askinkiskarma]

ੈ♡˳ ɪ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛɪᴍᴇ

Pairing: Neteyam x Omaticaya!Reader

Synopsis: You and Neteyam's relationship only knows the 3Fs: fighting, fleeing or... loving.

Requested: Yes.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI. aged up!, smut (p in v, oral - f receiving, light choking, praise kink), fluff, kinda toxic relationship but it's fine cause it's neteyam and i don't see red when it comes to him, it's all golden

WC: 2.3k words

A/N: how the hell did this also turn fluffy in the end??? what is wrong w me??? anyway, i had so so much fun with this request, it might quickly become one of my favourite things i've ever written. thank you so much for the sweet anonnie who suggested it, and i hope you enjoy x

I get tired of your no-shows You get tired of my control They keep telling me to let go But I don't really let go when I say so 

"Everybody's going out. Just come out with us. Don't let him ruin another perfectly nice eclipse."

Your best friend was so right, as she always was, as she gave you this speech for what felt like the millionth time in the years you've had an on-again, off-again situationship with the prince of the Omaticaya, the one and only Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan - a man you loved, that you wished you didn't sometimes, most times, especially tonight, as he forgot about your plans... again, in order to train for way longer than was needed or necessary, way longer than anybody else... again.

Look, you loved Neteyam's drive. It was part of what drove you to him to begin with. He was unrelenting and determined, he was powerful and skilled, he was savvy and intelligent, he was beautiful and charming, he loved his family to death and was incredibly loyal and all those things made him just so. damn. hot.

They also made him the reason you wanted to pull your braids out, because those traits were good in moderation, but nothing was ever grey with Neteyam. No, Neteyam was all or nothing always, black or white and nothing else, and that meant that loyalty for his family quickly turned into neglect for you, determination for his practice quickly turned to forgetfulness of you, and his power, beauty, intelligence and charm meant you never got to do anything about it, because, if you ever tried, you ended up overpowered, outsmarted and fucked dumb face down on your mat until you forgot you were ever mad to begin with.

I've tried to fight our energy, but everytime I think I'm free  You get high and call on the regular I get weak and fall like a teenager Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry? I need to do this, tiyawn, I have to be stronger for my family, for my clan... for you. You're being unreasonable."

"I'm being unreasonable?! Are you out of your fucking mind?"

You feel tears pool in your eyes and spill like a broken fountain as you take him in, bloodied gashes and muddy patches, tired eyes and calloused hands and still... the most beautiful man you've ever seen in your life. He looked at you exasperatedly, like you're the crazy one, and you hate it. Hate what he's doing to you, hate that he doesn't consider you or think about you, and that his sorries are always stained with unspoken truths, like how he doesn't truly mean it, not when to him, it's all justified, it's all warranted, and shouldn't be questioned.

"Every day and night, I do nothing but wait, Neteyam. Wait for a man who doesn't think twice about the plans he's made, the promises he never keeps, the memories that sour with every absence he gifts to me like a necklace that half-chokes me to death. I'm tired. I can't do this anym-"

A kiss is all it takes to silence you, to stun you, to make you melt in his embrace the way you always do, all the arguments and the ultimatums swallowed under the intensity of the touch of his lips on yours, his tongue meeting your own in a welcome embrace, so intimate and knowing, so fucking frustrating.

"Net-..."

His thumb traces your lips, the mix of your salivas making the glide easy, as his beautiful golden eyes bore into yours with enough force to cower you, to make you hunger and ache for more. That's all you ever wanted when it comes to Neteyam - more. When his finger pushes gently past your lips and into your mouth, you immediately close them around him and lick... and suck, and he moans, his gaze growing darker and needier with each second you're not writhing under him, the way you should be, the way you were meant to be.

"No, tiyawn. I can't let you speak if you insist on saying those insipid, meaningless words again. You won't leave, because you can't leave. Because you're mine. And I'm yours. You own me."

His hand grabs yours and redirects it to his loincloth, tented up under the weight of his hard-on and the slight damp spot under your touch makes you swallow instinctively. You had no thoughts outside of him anymore, outside of the overwhelming desire that took over you whenever he was in your presence, his being inundating your senses and hijacking your mind to be rid of all but him, full of him, only him.

"Look what you do to me. You. Only you. I need you. Always. I know I'm not good enough, I know, but ..."

His hands find their way to your ass, lifting you gently, and you wrap your thighs around him, although there's no need, not when he moves you just a few feet until he's sitting on your mat, laying you gently on it. When he moves his hands, he takes your loincloth with him, and you whine softly at the sudden cool breeze that hits your aching, sopping core.

"...Let me show you how sorry I am."

When he lays down with his head between your thighs, you know he's forgiven already, because whatever he's about to do is always more than enough to make up for all the shit he didn't do, because the stuff he knows how to do is enough to excuse world calamities and mass destruction in your mind.

Just when I get on a new wave Boy, you look at me and I slip outta my lace They keep calling me a head-case 'Cause I can't make a good case why we can't change

"You're out of your mind, tiyawn."

"Well, if I'm out of my mind, then you made me out of my mind, you skxawng."

"Can we talk about this somewhere more private?"

You have to admit, starting the fight at the communal dinner in front of his parents, the leaders of the clan, and your friends, and everyone you knew, was probably a bit gauche and uncouth, but you think it was just more than anything a perfect testimony of how this man drove you to the brink of insanity in a way no one else could.

"Fine, but I swear to Eywa that if you -"

"A-ah, fuck!"

Propped with your hands on his shoulders, his fingers around your throat, you were bouncing up and down his cock, trying to ignore how you could be caught at any point, how close you were to the communal fire, barely covered by some shrubbery, how fear was fuel for your desire as his tip kept slamming into your cervix so hard you felt it in your ribcage when he rutted upwards into you.

"Quiet, tiyawn. You don't want people to hear us, now do you?"

A glint of mischief flashed across his eyes, smirk to match, as he brought the hand he had gripped on your hips to help him move you on his length forward, circling your clit masterfully and you whimper again, eliciting a small laugh from him.

"Or maybe you like that? 'That turn you on, huh? My dirty girl."

The sound of skin slapping against skin was so strident you'd be surprised if someone wouldn't come just to see if they can catch the end tail of a rousing performance people couldn't help but clap for, but to be honest with yourself, you didn't care. It was known in the village - your mad, intense, mercurial, quixotic relationship with Neteyam. You were both crazy - for each other, and in general, it seemed, because you fought, fled and fucked more often than truly anyone could keep with with.

"Eywa, I love watching you take my cock. You're such a good girl, and you always take me so well, tiyawn. So well."

You said nothing as the rush of all the sensations trying you quickly became overwhelming, as the heady combination of being chocked by a man who knew how to use it to your advantage helped heighten his ministrations on your clit, his wild and intemperate thrusts that stretched you and filled like you craved, like only he could, and you come, whining and sobbing, nails digging painfully in his skin. He follows suit, his own groans unable to be kept hidden, and he releases his hand from around your neck and brings it back to the nape of your neck, willing you softly in his chest, where, although full of cobwebs and a little dusty, would always be your home.

"Shh, that's right. Did so well for me, tiyawn. My perfect girl." A kiss on your temple, soft and intimate, and the constant shower of unbridled praise, that you lived to see come out of his beautiful mouth as he filled you up with his cock, reminded you why you stayed and came back, over and over. Because it was worth it. And he was worth it.

"I'm still fucking mad at you."

I get drunk, pretend that I'm over it Self-destruct, show up like an idiot Why, oh why does God keep bringing me Back to you?

"We are never getting back together. Like ever." you say in between sips of fermented yovo juice, that always goes to your head way too quickly, that always makes a mess out of your tongue and a slur of your words.

"I want to believe you, friend...I really do, but... you've said that one too many times. You're the girl that cried Palulukan. Nobody's coming to rescue you now, sister."

"N-no..." the hiccup was violent enough to make you throw up in your mouth and you groaned, the headache caused by the startled yelp digging in your temples. “I me-mean it this t-time. It’s o-over.” You were stomping your feet in determination, eager to prove that you would once and for all be rid of the man that was nowhere to be found for the village celebration that he’s known about for months.

“Lo-Lo’ak! Hey Lo’ak!��� The sighting of Neteyam’s nicer, more amiable, sociable younger brother was a one for sore eyes, as it proved that it wasn’t family duty keeping your boyfriend… ex-boyfriend… away, it was his own maddening stubbornness and selfishness doing it instead.

“Neteyam’s training… I’m sorry. We told him to come, but he… gets in like a weird trance whenever he’s on the grounds, I swear it’s like something out of an Earth zombie movie.”

You didn’t know what he was talking about and he didn’t elaborate before he took off, leaving you leaning against a tree with only your tiny friend as a barrier between your face and the cold, hard, ground.

“Argh, who cares?! It’s be-better he’s gone, he’s a k-killjoy anyway and i for one a-am happy to be rid of-“

“Neteyam!” Tuk’s screams close to deafen you and the sound was the last push your body needed to lunge itself forward and hurl the contents of your stomach onto the mossy ground that was now more yellow than it had ever been green.

“Oh, mighty and all-powerful Eywa.”

“Hi, Syulen. I got it, thanks.”

“Take her home, Neteyam. And don’t get any funny ideas.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Come, tiyawn.”

You wanted to protest, but the bile in your mouth was bitter and burning, and so you didn’t, not as he picked you up as gently as if you were a precious flower he didn’t want to wilt, not when he pressed a kiss on your temple as his arm found the back of your knees for added support, not as he carried you home silently, outside of the soft-spoken coos of affection and apologies, while you mumbled unattractively in his chest.

“I hate y-you.”

"I know."

"You're the wo-worst."

"I know."

As you reached your tent, you were greeted by soft trills and purrs that sobered you immediately, that made you jump from his arms and onto the ground, where a small pup lay. It was cautious as you approached, but eventually relaxed around you and let you kneel beside it. It has an ugly gash across its back, that looked like it had been tended to. It was a Palulukan pup, and the thought made fevered chills run down your spine.

"Neteyam, wha-"

"I found him coming back from practice. He was hurt and limping, and clinging to his mother's corpse. I took him home and have been helping my grandmother tend to him ever since. That's why I'm late."

“I know you’ve been lonely since your parents died. Well, he seemed lonely too. His parents are gone, and so I thought… you could be his new home. And I could be yours. I’m done running away, tiyawn. From now on, I only want to run towards things. Towards you. I’m yours. You own me. For good, this time. If you still want me.”

You smile a sheepish smile, looking up at him through your lashes while you pet the new priceless addition to your small family. You really were the girl that cried Palulukan.

“If I say no, will you take him away?”

He winced a little, a grimace marring his beautiful features.

“Of course not.”

“If I say yes, can we all be a family?”

The grimace dissolved as quickly as it appeared and a dazzling, gummy smile replaced it, one that dizzied you in its utter and undeniable beauty, one that you couldn’t help replicate, not when kneeled in front of you and took your face in his hands, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs, his own face mere inches from yours.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

taglist: @fanboyluvr @yagirlheree @teyamsbitch

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

°𝄞 𝐒𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 °𝄞

☆ 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙵𝚒𝚟𝚎 ☆

"You're from another time, are you?"

♬♪ 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 ♬♪

ᯓ★ previous chapter | next chapter ★ᯓ

✶࿐ Summary : you're getting the hang of it all but why does it seems to backfire everytime you try to prevent it?

✶࿐ Word Count : I hope the length is fine

✶࿐ Warnings : 18+ Eddie Munson x Future!FEM!reader, cursing, use of y/n, time travel, upside down, mentions of bullying, toxic!boyfriend, false accusation, heated argument, slight allusions to r*cism, Aaron is one of Jason's goons, this will have a brief Gareth's POV, reader being a hopeless romantic, Chrissy and reader blossoming friendship, Jason Carver once again reoccurring lol, everyone is afraid to leave one alone, NO SPOILERS! 🤭

✶࿐ What to Expect : ANGST AND FLUFF!, comedy, romance, fantasy, sci-fic, reader lives in 2024!

✶࿐ Note To Reader : y'all this is only the beginning of the angst! the next part will go crazy too but you're going to love it, I promise you that! ;))

✶࿐ Author Note : this is all you've been waiting for the Wanted! Eddie hiding everywhere as he possibly can but....a hint of him and readers relationship perhaps? 👀

𓆩♱𓆪 𝙚𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𓆩♱𓆪

❦ 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙖'𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙥𝙖𝙜𝙚 ❦

"Y/N?" he says softly laced with concern

Your eyes stings from the tears that are gathering in your waterline as you try to remain your composure

"H-Hi- I-I'm sorry, I just needed some air" you voice cracks as you tried to hide your face away from Eddie's sight

He looked back at Steve's house and back to you, "Did the news made you upset?"

It shivers you timbers from the words that he just said, you avoided that to happen right?

Does it bound to happen to him?

Does it meant to happen to him?

Whatever you do to cement that event it always finds its way to ruin his life?

"It shouldn't be like this" you frustratedly said as you sniffle

"Jason has always been like that, sweetheart, you don't have to be upset, I'm used to it" he walks over to you by the front so he can see you properly

Oh, poor him, he has no idea, he doesn't know, he doesn't know what's coming

"E-Eddie, this is different from what Jason has done to you"

"How different?"

"He wanted to do something else to you, something that is inhumane"

He chuckles dryly, "Y/N, the whole town knows that I am a trailer trash and a school freak, this is no new to me-"

"This is no laughing matter, Eddie, I am upset because I made sure this won't happen to you and to anyone who is affected by the cause of it"

He has now become shaken by the change of your tone and he knows your mind might overdrive at how many non-stop thoughts going through your head

"Wait, you said it before that I can't walk around freely...."

You watch him as he begin to place the puzzles into his mind

"Is it happening now?"

"Y-Yes"

"Fuck- w-what should we do?"

Before you can answer, Dustin, Steve everyone emerge outside as they quickly went to their respective vehicles

"What's going on?"

"It's Lucas, he needs a lift before Jason catch him" Steve runs a stressful hand through his hair as he goes in the driver's seat

"Do you know something about this, Y/N?" Dustin asks you before he throws his bagpack into the passenger's seat

"Yeah, I do, I'm coming with you-"

Without any word, Eddie takes your hand and leads you to his van, you saw how determined he is to make this all of this shit go away

You would've been blushed by the way he snaps in your seatbelt despite under the circumstances

All of you drove off to find Lucas and hopefully....

Hopefully, that he is safe

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ

"He is a fucking traitor"

"I'm gonna break his face"

"Not even a traitor but a liar too"

"What-"

"You know what he said back in our place right? that he knew about D&D shit but he just changes his answer that his younger sister was the one who is playing it, we've been fooled"

"Deceived, we we're deceived by him"

Patrick and Aaron both looked at him in the rearview mirror

"This....This is a part of their doing, don't you guys see it? they're deceitful because they're doing the devil's work"

"How are we able to stop them?"

"Yeah, we don't even know where they are"

Jason laughs evilly, "Don't worry, fellas, I already erupted a plan and it will work"

He then turns on the radio and it's revealed that he's the one who started it all

The rumor, the false rumor that the town is still carrying for all of these years, a lot of conspiracies circled around throughout the years

But this time? You will never ever allow it to happen

No matter it could cost your life

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ

"El? You got a phone call"

"From who?"

"It's your friends back in Hawkins" Joyce places a big smile on her face, El lighted up but slowly fades slightly as she already knew the call what is for

She looked back at Will who is already staring at her who is thinking the same thing

El stands up from the couch as Will takes her hand and squeeze for a reassurance that everything is going to be okay

Joyce gave El a gentle hold on her shoulder as she hands her the phone, she gave her a small smile as she leaves

"Hello?"

"Hi"

The voice, she doesn't recognize this voice, she never heard of it, but why does it feel that she is close to you?

"I-I'm Y/N by the way, I'm with your friends, they're here, and I'm sorry that I disturb you at this hour, it's just- it's important that I have to call you"

"You're from another time? are you?"

Will gave her a confused look but then he starts to put all the pieces together from what she just told him

It all makes sense now

You steady your breath but also you're perplexed as to why she already knew, "Y-Yeah- wait, how'd you know?"

"It's kinda hard to explain but I could tell you soon but why did you call?"

"Hopper.... Hopper is alive"

She almost dropped the phone and you can hear her staggering breathing, "W-what did you just say?"

"He's alive a-and Joyce and Murray are embarking on a mission to rescue and find him and Yuri is the guy who is a charlatan, he's untrustworthy but-"

"B-but- but- w-what"

"He's the only guy who can take them off from where Hopper is, I just- I'm so sorry, if I'm saying this to you now-"

"N-No, it's fine, you're from the future and I actually thought highly of you"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I know my friends are safe when they're with you"

You smile for a second as you become serious again, "El, I know it isn't my place to say something about what you're dealing with and you don't know me but I understand how you feel at school because I was also at your shoes too, already dreading the day heading to school and it's.....very hard to mingle with other people who doesn't have any interest with you"

A faint tear slides through El's cheek as she takes a shaky breath, you can hear her sniffle behind the phone as you smile empathetically as if she can see you

"But one thing I know is for sure is that you don't have to put pressure on yourself just so you can be liked by other people who doesn't even deserve your wants as a friend"

There's a couple of beats of silence and you begin to think that you might have crossed over too much until she spoke again

"T-Thank you, Y/N, that's very kind of you to say, it helped me eases out what just happened earlier today" she chuckles lightly as you huff over the receiver

You looked over at your side, Dustin who is waiting impatiently, you roll your eyes playfully at him, "It's nice talking to you, El, I hope I can meet you and take care"

"You too, Y/N"

"Oh, Dustin wants to talk to you-" "Gimme that!" El giggles at the urgency and the rustling sounds of the cord

"Was it always like that?"

"Like what?"

"It feels so weirdly natural talking to her"

"Oh- god, tell me about it, everybody does but El, she's real, we can trust her"

"I know"

"El....I think the gates are opening up once again"

"What?!?"

Dustin gives El all of the full details of what just happened recently and the fact that it's not even one week yet when it feels like it's been so many things already happened around the town

Before he ends the call, El told him that he will tell it to everyone at home

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.₊˚ʚ

"We don't even know if we could trust him" Dustin mutters as he averts his eyes to somewhere else as Steve tries to extinguish the tension between the two teens

"Dude, if you got something to say-" Lucas stood up and Max alerted from the sudden action as she darts her eyes back to him and Dustin

"Okay, guys back up-" Steve tried to hold off Dustin but he swats his hands off of him as he walks forward to Lucas

"Lucas, don't-" Max saids firmly as she gives him a look but he needs this confrontation

"You know all what you care for is yourselves" Lucas presses as Dustin grips his fists

"Oh, how dare you to call us selfish when you fucking left us in the first place because of your stupid dream"

"Can't you just look harder??? Dustin??? You're so self-centered that you thought anyone around you is doing okay-"

Dustin pushed him by the chest and then Lucas pushes him harder knocking him off but before he hits the ground Steve catches him

You, Eddie, Chrissy, Gareth, Jeff, Lewis, Robin, Nancy and Fred overheard the rise of their voices across from the gasoline station as all of you ran out to them leaving the payphone behind

"Hey! Knock it off the both of you!"

You blocked them in the middle as you stand there looking at them in disappointment

"What happened?!?" Eddie demands as he looks at everyone

Steve huffs, "These two got into a fight, I tried to stop them-"

"You should've have let me-" Dustin tries to reach out to Lucas but you guarded him

"That's enough, kid!" Steve angrily pulls Dustin away from Lucas

"I wish I was never your friend!"

"All I wanted was all of you to support me instead the rest of you are bitter about it!"

"I said quit it!" You shout out loud making them shut up

"Dustin, you overlooked him-"

"He fucking ditched us! Y/N!"

"It's because he is goddamn tired of being bullied all the time! I can't even fucking blame him for it and just hear him for a moment?!?"

Lucas was surprised that you chose his side, he is now grew even more fond of you

"Correction, Dustin, he didn't leave all of you, he was still there but all of you guys ever did was to rant about him being with his sports friends, of course, he will get drained dealing about it, you didn't even care for once what he might even feel like when that's not only what he was trying to endure"

Your words crack through Dustin's rage as he calms himself down, Steve sighs as he places his hands over his hips in a stressful manner

"and now, he is here and he is back and you're pushing him away again because he realized that the people that he met in there he thought might be good like his old friends are but it doesn't, Dustin, he didn't forget about all of you, he just wants you to be there for him no matter what he wanted to reach for his goals, he just wants you to let him"

Dustin pursed both of his lips as he tries not to breakdown and cry in front all of you as he nods in understanding of your words

Lucas ducks his head down as he quietly sobs and Max rubs his back gently, she feels like she owe him an apology and she felt guilty, your words strucked her too

"What the fuck are you guys fighting for when there's a big- erase that- huge problem is among us"

You throw your hands up as you scratch your forehead and shook your head sideways, you're slightly mad at the both of them but also glad that they finally got that shit out of their away

This is why communication is always important in every relationship

"Now, let's go before the cops find Eddie"

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"You might get me into trouble, my friend"

"I told you they're keeping monsters inside of that and we're the bait!"

"Keep your voice down!"

"Have you located it?"

"Why should I believe you?"

"I'm telling the truth"

Enzo thinks for a moment as he keeps on stealth mode as they continue to walk to bring back all the prisoners inside of the compound

"He told me that they're on their way"

Hopper looks at him in a brief second as he catches the hopeful glint on his eyes as he kept calm as Enzo locks the bars

"You better not cross me"

"I will not, I just want to get home and be with my family"

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"How's the trip with the girls?"

Chrissy almost yelped in shock as she clutches her chest when Jason opens up the light in the living room

"Jason!" She speaks breathy as she stabilized her beating heart

"Hey darlin" he grins as he walks slowly towards her, Chrissy on the other hand tries not to show nervousness in front of him knowing that all of you are waiting inside of Eddie's van on 3 blocks ahead from where she's at

"Hello- uh- h-how did you get in?" She gulps as she felt the sides of his fingertips brushing her cheeks

Chrissy loved Jason, really, she loved him, despite his awful behavior towards other students she still accepts him even though she admit it without a second thought in her heart when he does make their lives miserable, she is ashamed of it all

And now, that feeling, grew more even stronger, the fact something tells her that he's the one who caused all of this

She might not be surprised at it because she already knew that Jason would do something like that, the trust that she has on him is fading away and it disappoints her

"I picked the lock" he shrugs as if he did not just committed a crime

He fucking trespassed???? What the hell???

"Jason, you know that's against the law-"

"Are you saying that I got no right to check on my girlfriend?"

"N-No, that's not what I- I mean! you could've- just- called-"

Chrissy saw the red-rimmed tint on his eyes, a sign that he hasn't got any sleep and his aura screams lethal fucking danger

She tries her best not to be uncomfortable around him but he is making it hard not to

He stops walking around her for a second, he turns his whole body at her, towering over her as they both walked backward until Chrissy's back hits the wall

"You're not lying to me, are you?" He emphasize the word as he kept his eyes on her

Oh, Chrissy knows how bad when Jason gets mad, all he sees is red whenever he has it

"No-"

"If I catch you lying, you know I hate liars, honey"

Before the fear eats her up, she coos at him, "Baby, I think you need to rest, you don't want to be cranky in the morning" she says sweetly but deep inside??? She is terrified if this won't work

Jason licks his lips as he sighs deeply, "Hmm"

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Of course, you need to rest as well too"

Both of them said their goodbye's as she watches him leave with his car, she can't believe that she stopped breathing air for all of that stuff that she did to Jason

Chrissy went stomping upstairs heading at her bedroom as she begins to pack everything that she needed

Her parents are not always available during weekdays, so, she's got all the house by herself as she locks the door properly, she might even change the damn lock after all of this business with the upside down is over

Out of the blue, she bumped into someone, she almost screeched that it could waken the entire neighborhood

"Hey, it's me!"

Chrissy rips out the hand away from her mouth as she pushes him, "Gareth! You scared me half to life!"

He chuckles nervously, "I'm sorry but uh- for forgiveness? I could carry your bag" he offers

She huffs as she hands out the bag and motion at him to get on walking

The walk to Eddie's van had a minute to get there, it was windy and moonlight shines prettily

Gareth is walking beside her, glancing at her every moment that he can, he likes the way her hair falls so effortlessly, the long sleeves are too big for her as she always scrunching it up to her arms

The silence is taking so long, he might not be even to talk to her soon

He clears his throat, "Are you okay?" He genuinely asks as he waits for answer patiently

She looks at her with that sad glint on her eyes, she lets out an exhausting sigh, she shakes her head as she looks back at the path in the sidewalk, "No, I am not" she crosses both of her arms

He tugs up a small smile and then it is not his intention to eavesdrop at their conversation earlier but he doesn't understand yet that he feels upset that douchebag Jason treats her like that, "Is he always like that to you?"

"Well, if he's in a good mood, no, but I don't know anymore-" she answers absent-mindedly as she halts her tracks also Gareth stopping at the same time

"Are you listening to us over there?!?" She pokes at his chest so harshly that making him exclaim with pain that made Chrissy rolls her eyes

"Hey, that hurt!"

"What are you even doing outside anyway?!?"

"I just wanted to look out for you!"

Chrissy is taken aback at that as she looks at him up and down as she raises her eyebrow

Oof, Gareth is in big trouble now

Gareth cheeks turns into tinge pink as he swallows hard, "Y-You know after all what Y/N has done for you, of course, it is normal for me to feel worried for you-"

Chrissy is amused at this as she nods slowly as she turns her back to continue walking

Gareth smacks his forehead as he jogs up behind her

"It doesn't mean anything-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, doofus"

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"You got everything that you need?"

"Yeah, I do"

"You really can't stay over at my house?"

You smile gratefully at him, "I can't, Steve, I'm sorry- but thanks for the suggestion though"

He nods in understanding but you know that he is worried for you, it is evident on his eyes, the way he looks at you, it always lingers

"Okay, but please, do call me, if anything happens"

"Noted"

He gives you a side hug as he picks up the paper plates as all of you eat dinner at the Rick Reefer's house where Eddie thinks it's the best place to hideout

It is covered in the woods, but still you're not so confident that you can both stay here, it is better to be careful with every move and always alerted

You told everyone that they can go home and be on their own now but it seems like anyone else can't leave one another after all they just witnessed

It is not so easy to just move on and act like nothing happened but no matter you try to protest, they stick with you at the end

Steve said the rest will stay over at his house, Chrissy on the other hand wants to be with you, he lets her knowing that you knew much more what was going on with her than he does

"What are you still doing here?"

You opened up the garbage bag as you put all of the canned soda on it, "I volunteered to stay with you"

Perplexed expression is written on his face as he finishes the last drop of his soda as he reaches the bag out of your hands, "Why?"

"This fucking guy, I swear to god, why does he want me to just spit it out" you think to yourself

"It's because I know what will happen to you remember? I'm from the future, so, it is important that I should be here" you snatched off the bag out of his hands as you walk past over to him cleaning out every trash that you see

The sound of the cans makes a clinking sound as the blurred conversations from the kids can be heard on the living room with very dim lights on

You went at the backdoor as he follows you out as you throw the bag in the garbage can

"Don't you want to be at Steve's?"

"Why are you asking too many questions, Eddie?"

"My bad, it's just-"

"What?"

"I think I'm new to all of this- uh- kindness" he rubs the back of his neck as he averts his eyes elsewhere

His sudden shyness is always endearing to you that it made your eyes soften, "Well, Eddie, I think this is called helping, I am helping you"

"Why would you do that? I didn't asked for you-"

"You don't have to because I wanted to"

He tilts his head at that as he takes in your words, oh- god- help- almighty, you saw how his eyes flickers into something that you can't read yet

No, you're from the future, he's from the past, you're being delusional, it is impossible to happen

The moment your hair gets into your face because of the cool night air wooshed in the area, you're about to tuck it behind your air but you felt someone else's touch

It's him, it's Eddie, Eddie fucking Munson

You furrowed your brows when you watched him step closer to you, he looks at you so dreamily that you absolutely swore that he memorized every single thing in your features

You have been this close, hell- you went to bed with him the other day, your heart might stopped beating soon, you get another whiff from his musk cologne and its making it hard

You thought he is finished with him tucking your hair behind your ear, but he moves down to your cheek as he holds it and he lets it there

You're so extremely so fucking confused right now but also the same time???? You're baffled that you're experiencing this and it's Eddie Munson

This shouldn't be happening right???? This isn't supposed to happen and it's not right

Your mind is going in circles, you wanna run away from him, but also savoring and breathing in this moment even for just a while

"Y/N"

He says your name and it so soft that you could hear it melting down to your ears

"Yes?" You managed to say with a confused look but also with a thumping heart

"You're the only girl that has ever truly shown to me what it is to be protected and cared for"

Your breath hitches when he moved closer and if goes some for more, he can kiss you and it frightens you

"Eddie" you try to remove his hold on you but he won't budge as it gets even worse, he keeps you steady by holding you at the waist

"Please, just listen, I-I am thankful that you're going to stay when I thought you will leave me"

"Of course, I'm not leaving you behind, Eddie, you deserve to be appreciated, always"

"I am still in disbelief from all of the things that you said to me"

"Don't ever think that you're not worthy to be loved, Eddie"

Your eyes widen when he leans closer-

"Y/N, Eddie- where-" Chrissy's jaw drops when she saw you and him mere inches close

You step back and walk away and you know damn well a pair of chocolate button eyes is glued to your back and you pretend like everything is going fine but a knowing look is present on Chrissy's face as she nods along to your excuses as you went inside of the house

She slowly turns her head around at Eddie who is a blushing mess as he waves a dismissive hand at her as she smirks at him

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You wrap your hair in a towel as you saw Chrissy fluffing out of the pillows with a smug smile on her face

"Don't fucking start, Chrissy"

"What?!? I'm not even doing anything!"

"Well, wipe that eat shiting grin off your face!"

"If it affects you so much that means you like him-"

You give her a death stare as you rip off the towel from your head as you hang for it to dry in the rackets as you start to brush your hair

"No, wait- you love him!"

"I wanna go home so freaking bad-" the answer that Chrissy wanted is so obvious how your cheeks turns to bright red as she giggles at your side

"Why? Do you have a boyfriend back there?"

It's like a real fucking connection that you could feel that Eddie is behind that door when in fact he is listening to your conversation together as you look at it before you bring your eyes back to Chrissy

Eddie clenches his jaw as he thinks so bitterly about you having a boyfriend when it should've been him

"Uh, no, I don't have a boyfriend-"

He raises both of his eyebrows the same time Chrissy reacted at the reveal

"What?!?" She exclaims as if she receives the worst news of her life

You chuckled at her reaction as you lay your blanket as you released a soothing sigh as you went all the way down to the bed

She propped her elbows to look at you in disbelief, "Wh-What do you mean that you don't have any boyfriend?!?"

You laugh breathy as you went serious, "For starters, I have very high standards when it comes to men and if it's so hard to find the right one on this era then it is much more excruciatingly hard to find the one at my time"

"Oh, true" she smiles sadly at that when it hits her, you're right, your words resonate with her situation too

"I'm sorry if I reacted that way, you look pretty and I think you're cool, any guy would be lucky to have you, Y/N"

"Wow, thanks?"

"Oh my god, just take the compliment!"

"Okay, okay"

Eddie sits down on the floor quietly on the side of the closed door with a lovesick smile on his face as he continues to listen

"I really hate talking about my personal life but I just wanted to have something so real and I don't do dates, hell- I don't even have a relationship all my life, I've never had a boyfriend, it's because when I do it, I wanna be like, okay, this is it, I want you, we're going to spend the rest of our lives loving each other and you know, I just don't wanna pick the wrong guy that it would end me getting hurt and kicked around for fun, I want love that is so lasting that you won't get tired of me that we both understand each other with mental connections"

Chrissy listening very carefully to your words as you noticed the slight teary pricks on her eyes

"I do enjoy the life of me being single, you know, just hanging out with your bestfriends but yeah, sometimes, I do wonder what it is like to be loved to be truly loved by someone else that you loved them the same way as they do you know?, I do yearn and longed for that feeling, but.....I just can't, I really don't want to waste my life with the wrong soul, I can't bond over that"

"You got me thinking there, Y/N, what you just said is true, it must've been so great to find your person"

"Exactly"

"Do you have lots of bestfriends?"

"Nah, I only have one"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm not much of a popular kid at school too"

"They're clearly missing out on you"

"Damn right"

You both laughed at each other as Eddie smiles so widely at that but he processes everything that you just said to Chrissy

Your expectations and his standards are just the same thing as you do, he sighs deeply as he thinks about on how he can pull this off

He stands up as he takes off his leather jacket as he settles himself on the couch

He puts his other arm under his head as he speaks the words

"Y/N, words can't describe how much I fall for you from the day that I saw you in the woods....appearing into my life, jumping into my world without any context..."

He chuckles to himself when he is so sure of his heart as he can feel it pumping really hard and fast whenever he thinks about you

"Yeah, you're right, Y/N, you're my future"

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taglist <3 : @paleidiot @marsmallow433 @whothefckissofia @letsfallinlove-blog @silky-luxe @imagine-all-the-imagines @theladyasgard @mayaluvzyou @mewchiili @crystalr @sadbitchfangirl

(chapter 5 has officially dropped! I hope y'all didn't forget about me and this series! I still hope that all of you are looking forward to this story that I created, I'm so sorry if it's taking way too long but my life had so many happenings and thank you so much for understanding, support and enjoying this! 🥺🫶🏻✨)

[sitp-recs]

my most dearest Liv, I am so grateful for your existence upon this platform. thank you for running this gem of a blog.

I sincerely hope you’ll forgive me for this annoyance but I was hoping you could recommend fics with a draco that secretly loves physical intimacy and doesn’t shy from it later on w harry.

thank you so much ily

Thank you anon, that’s so lovely 🥹♥️ I’m sorry it took me ages to reply, this ask got lost in my drafts and I found it while cleaning my backlog. I really loved making this list because there are a few underrated gems here, I’ve marked the ones with less than 100 comments with an *. Enjoy!

* On Permanence by @the-starryknight (2021, M, 1.4k)

The possibility of going home with Draco is the only reason Harry comes to the club anymore. Tonight, there's a new kind of intimacy to be found outside the neon noise.

Let Me Count the Ways by @thebooktopus (E, 3.5k)

Intimacy comes in many forms. Draco wants to explore them all with Harry.

Is This Love? by @phd-mama (2021, E, 3.8k)

Draco wouldn’t call himself a tender man. He fights the forces of evil for a living, trying his best to pay penance for the evil he’s done. He’s fought and killed in the name of duty, and when he’s not on duty, he tends either to play hard or retreat alone. He doesn’t lean on anyone, and he knows he’s not the first person anyone goes to when they need care. Comfort. That all changes tonight.

Thermodynamic Equilibrium by @dorthyanndrarry (2017, T, 5k)

Harry's far too hot. Draco's always cold. And somehow against all odds, together they create a perfect equilibrium.

Two Starts, One Finish by @lqtraintracks (E, 5.4k)

I feel him before I see him. Nobody stands this close to me while I’m playing, and I’m about to turn to tell him so when he says, “You’re a tough bloke to track down,” and then leans against my baby grand.

* Service Bell by @shiftylinguini (E, 8k)

Draco is: a werewolf, living in a cabin in the woods, minding his own business, and never going to buy plaid because he's not that much of a fucking cliche (yet). He's also counting down the days until he sees Harry again.

* A Truth Universally Acknowledged by @sorrybutblog (2021, M, 19k)

A year out from the war, Harry agrees to accompany Hermione on a historical walking tour of Pride and Prejudice. Not in the itinerary: running into Draco Malfoy, setting off a summer of stately homes, lavish parties, resentful shagging, and maybe, falling in love.

Nice Things by aideomai (2020, M, 22k)

The first thing that happened was Theodore Nott came back from France.

The Last of What the World Left You by @xanthippe74 (T, 25k)

If the wizarding world won’t give Draco a second chance, he has a plan to survive: live in his Animagus form, a carrion crow, in the Forbidden Forest. Not only does Harry Potter come along and ruin it, he’s radiating a strange aura of power. With nowhere to go and a Life-Debt to his mother that Potter insists on repaying, Draco puts himself into the hands of the reclusive Boy Who Lived. Will the bleak corner of Yorkshire where Potter makes his home be another dead end or an unexpected refuge?

REVOLVEVLOVER by firethesound, zeitgeistic (E, 46k)

The work Harry does is justifiable. It’s justice. He works for his country, and his country is a republic—the magical side, anyway. It’s not laudable work, it’s not work he’s proud of, but it’s necessary work. Harry has always taken the necessary jobs that no one else has the stomach for.

* The Darkness Before the Dawn by Ren (E, 55k)

A mysterious creature is loose in London, stalking and killing people. Auror Harry Potter requests the help of a liaison from the Beast Division and gets saddled with Draco Malfoy. Will they be able to stop the creature before it claims more lives?

Meet Me at Midnight by @the-starryknight (2022, T, 57k)

Harry was beginning to wonder if he’d ever make anything again when Malfoy stormed through the door of Harry’s furniture shop. Now Harry’s got an impossible Ministry commission to finish, and even less energy than ever to deal with his elusive muse. That is, until he stumbles upon the surreal and beautiful world of a mysterious fae creature…

A Room Up There (And You In It) by @the-starryknight (2020, T, 59k)

When Preservationist Draco Malfoy was assigned to work on Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, he was excited to delve into the gorgeous Black family antiques. His excitement quickly ended when something in the House decided it did not like his presence one bit. Featuring a grumpy antiques lover who most certainly did not sign up for this, encounters with a vengeful apparition, and a healthy application of Christmas spirit.

Monster by @orange-peony (2022, E, 71k)

“Well, it’s still a music box that is not working properly,” Hermione points out with a very intent grin. “That will give you a chance to see him.” She wiggles her eyebrows, making him snort. As if Harry hadn’t thought about it straight away. As if Harry’s mind hadn’t immediately wandered to Draco Malfoy the moment Zabini mentioned a music box.

A Sword Laid Aside by @korlaena (E, 128k)

When Draco’s cover is blown during a deep undercover operation and the Ministry is compromised, Ron takes Draco to the only safe place he can think of—Potter. Hiding out with a taciturn Harry Potter, who has been missing from the Wizarding World for almost two decades after a shocking fall from grace, is nothing like Draco thought it would be.

[xxbl00ds0akeds3raxx]

Hang in there girl, don't let him get to you. You're way stronger than you give yourself credit for, and you have always, always deserved much better than what life handed you... He isn't worth it. He will never see you as the full person you are. He wants you to be a perfect doll, and that is not a role you can ever pigeonhole yourself into, with all your strengths and flaws... you're a wonderful, kind, opinionated and strong person. Don't let him break you

-Camille M.

tysm camilee <3 sorry 4 not replying sooner i wasan't sure what to say;;

i am hanging in there!!! ^^ life is crazy lolz. i hate it. m so tired. i literally wish i didn't exist i think things wld be so much better im so sick of stressing every1 out w stupid decisions i make :((((( like im not evn trying 2 be emo~~ woaawww edgelord dont cut urself on that edge X_X!!

its just ever since my conception my existence has just been. a bother,,. i ruined my mum's life n i cant stop thinking abt what it cld've been like if i just. hhhh. didn't. happen. :)

i wish i knew her.

i wish she wld reach out 2 me and contact me likeu do w ur daughter,,,

ifeel like shes the only 1 who wld undrstand what im worried abt rn. but maybe thats just delusional thinking bc. i nvr rlly knew her so,,, lol. who evn knows what she understands.

ur rlly too sweet to me!!1. "wonderful, kind, opinionated and strong" is so much,,,, im not stronger than i give myself credit 4 i know my limits very well. & kylar, imean if he wants a perfect doll he literally has 1 of me . fkn life sized perfect replica w my measurements shes so perfect & if h e wants me to be her so bad icant fucking do it xDD i'll never b herrrrrr 〒▽〒

thank u again. its rlly nice to hear from u and i appreciate everything u say evn if it feels wrong :(

[merv606]

Puritianverse!

On their honeymoon in Italy, pious little Daniel is horrified when he misses Church one Sunday…all because Terry fucked him so good until early Sunday morning, that he slept until afternoon, and missed all the Services!!! Terry was much amused at his adorable, sad dismay—even when his little Omega started to sob that all he wanted to be was a good Omega, but now he was a sinner, and was afraid that he wasn’t going to go to heaven when he died.

“And I w-wanted us t-to be together f-forever,” Daniel cried pitifully in Terry’s arms while his Alpha tried not to laugh, and instead dropped soothing kisses on his soft hair. He looked up at Terry with tear filled brown eyes and red cheeks. As lovely as always. Terry felt his dick twitch. His arms tightened around Daniel’s tiny body. 

“J-j…just wanted to be…be with you f-forever n’ e-ever even when we d-die. And now I’ve ruined it!” And then Daniel cried even harder. 

Terry sighed, rubbing circles on his narrow back. His darling Omega had brought him much joy (and cuteness) in the short time they had been married, and was everything he’d ever wanted, especially in terms of love and well, sex…but Daniel’s adoration of religious life and Church sometimes tried his patience. Dreadfully. Why, his sweet boy had even devoted time on their honeymoon, every damn day,for prayers, and reading his worn, leather-bound Bible, and other nonsense. Time that could be better spent in Terry’s company, in his waiting arms, or on his cock. (And sightseeing this beautiful country too, so he could show off what a little beauty of an Omega he had.) Heh. 

Terry had known full well that Daniel would be too fucked out for any Mass on Sunday—he’d made sure of it, giving his sweet boy quite the fucking over and over (and over)—until he’d quite literally been fucked unconscious…but he hadn’t been expecting this reaction!

“Tell you what, little one,” Terry said, brushing some tears away and tilting Danny’s chin up. He looked just like a sad, gorgeous little doll. “I’ll allow you to go to Confession tomorrow, so you can get this off your chest, and feel better. Would you like that, my baby?”

“R-really?” Daniel said, face brightening already. 

Terry smiled. “Would your Alpha ever lie to you?” He did, all the time, but only for Danny’s benefit!

Daniel let out a happy squeak, and cuddled in tightly against Terry, dropping the sweetest little kisses on his nose and lips and cheeks. God, what an angel. “O-oh, no Sir, no! Of course not! You really are the best Alpha ever!” Daniel smiled happily. “Thank you, Sir! God will be so pleased now!”

Terry really didn’t give a shit about whether the Lord was pleased or not, but he thought, as he carried his beautiful, innocent Omega off to be not so innocently ravished, Terry was sure to be.  

…

…But when Daniel came out of Confession the next day, Terry was concerned when he saw how desperately sad his little Omega looked. 

“Sweetheart—“ Terry began, gathering Daniel into his arms. Daniel’s mouth wobbled.

“I-I’m sorry l, Sir,”’he began, sounding frightened. “B-but the Priest s-said…”

“What did he say?” Terry would kill the man for making his angel feel like this! Eternal damnation be…well, damned!

Daniel swallowed tilting his head far back so he could look him in the eye. “…He, he said, Terry, that m-my penance was no…” his voice trembled. “…N-no r-relations with my Alpha f-for a week. F-for missing Mass, Sir.” His eyes filled with tears. “T-this is all my fault, Sir, p-please don’t be angry with me!” 

Terry forces a smile - not wanting to upset the little omega further.

It’s not Daniel’s fault - he’s the one who fucked him all morning so that he would miss mass, and he’s the one who suggested coming to confession, forgetting that he and Father O’Brien have reached an agreement when dealing with Daniel.

Already, in their short marriage, the priest has been most helpful to Terry - further educating Daniel in things he should pay attention to and those that he doesn’t need to pay much kind to, in terms of the church and his role in his new marriage.

But - there is NO WAY in heaven or hell that Terry is going an entire week without access to his little omega- not since he’s gotten a taste - and especially not while on their honeymoon.

Only mildly NSFW but a bit lengthy.

Sniffling, Terry reassures his omega that he isn’t cross with him, and he smiles at the alpha, waiting for Terry to take his hand and lead him out thorough the crowded church.

Although the alpha swiftly places his hand on the omega’s back - he normally likes to be touching Daniel when they’re out in public - he’s looking to the confession booth.

“I think I should confess.”

“Really?!” Daniel exclaims excitedly, eyes lighting up. He has his suspicions that his husband is only humouring him when he accompanies him to church events and services. This though, is good news. He wants to spend a lifetime with Terry - and beyond.

Terry leads his mate to a deserted pew, telling him to stay there.

Daniel sits, ready to wait however long it takes - he’s not expecting this to be a short confession. His husband never attends confession so he must have a lot on chest, especially if he’s choosing now of all times to suddenly partake.

But, to his surprise, his husband isn’t in there very long.

Daniel stands, his Alpha’s hand on the small of his back turning them, as if to leave when he hears the priest call out.

“My child.” The man steps out of the confessional booth. “May I speak to you a moment.”

“Father, of course .. I mean …” he glances to his alpha, horrified he made the assumption that was okay as Terry seems to be ready to leave.

“Of course,” he smiles down. “I’ll just be right here - come right back to me when he’s done.”

Daniel approaches, slightly hesitant. He hopes the priest hasn’t decided the penance given isn’t enough. A week without his alpha is going to be a strain on both of them.

To his surprise though, it’s the exact opposite.

“I believe my penance from earlier may have been too harsh. Given the situation you are in.”

“Situation?” He questions. He had left out the part where he missed mass because he was too busy spreading his legs for his alpha - begging for his seed - desperate for that seed to take - for his husband to bless new life into him.

“I had a communication from …” he glances to Terry “….. the Holy Spirit.”

Daniel cliches his Rosary, eyes wide.

“I was not aware you are recently married and this is your honeymoon, or that, as such, you and your alpha are trying for a blessing.”

“The holy spirit told you that?”

The father nods.

“You are trying for a blessing, correct?”

“Oh yes - of course father - to honour our union as god intended,” he agrees, parroting what Terry and Father O’Brien have been telling him, before he pauses, thinking.

If God knows this that means he’s watching when …..

“What does he says about …… what we do?” He clutches his rosary beads even tighter - feeling their impression in his skin.

“All he cares is that you are performing your marital duties as you have promised.”

Relief washes over him. That’s exactly what Terry told him too - when Daniel expressed some reservations about whether what he was allowing Terry to do was considered proper omega behaviour in the marital bed. Like when his husband had put his cock into Daniel’s mouth for the first time. Although technically, they hadn’t actually been in the marital bed for that ….

It was the morning following their wedding night and consummation of their sacred union. Daniel had been eager for his husband to fill him again in a similar manner but he winced slightly when Terry slide his finger in, his recently used omega hole sore from the deflowering the night before and the subsequent many couplings later and throughout that night. Terry hadn’t taken him, rather explained that he would give Daniel a couple days reprieve from performing those particular duties as it was normal for an omega to be a bit uncomfortable after a marriage consummation - it being not only his first time but, well, his, husband was quite well endowed. Daniel knew it would be easier to take his husband the more he became used to Terry’s cock inside him, and that the pleasure in the act would increase, which, worried Daniel as he already liked it plenty enough already. But, when Terry showed him the other ways he could please him well, he liked those too.

“Well, it was your alpha who is responsible for you missing mass,” the priest continues in his explanation.

Daniel bites his lip - he does not want to blame his alpha …. He was the one, after all, who made his husband so hard and desperate that he needed release - release that could only be obtained by putting himself inside Daniel.

“It is alright my child,” he assures. “Next to god - your alpha is the most important voice for you to listen to. If he had other plans for you this morning well, that was all you could do. You must always listen and obey him - like a good omega.”

“I do father. I obey him and …. Allow him his liberties whenever and however he deems fit.”

He nods at Daniel before glancing to Terry again.

“So my former penance is no longer needed,” The priest explains.

“Father?” Question evident in his tone while he thinks, Can you do that.

“It is not your pace to question my child as my power comes from the almighty

“Of course father, I mean no disrespect.”

“I know my child - The most important thing is for you to settle into your new role and that you yield to your alpha - your union is holy - it was sealed under god and it now needs to bless the almighty with a child

“Yes father - I am doing my best - I receive my husband whenever he comes seeking his …. Husbandly rights,” he says.

“That’s good, my child - that is your most important task ahead for you now - to become heavy with your alpha’s child.”

“So… what is my penance then father?”

“Say the Hail Mary ten times asking the Holy Spirit to put a blessing inside you after each one and you will be absolved.”

He gives his thanks eager to get back to his alpha and tell him the good news.

“What else did he say?” Terry questions.

“He said my most important task was to become with child.”

“That it is, my love.”

“Do you think …. I will be blessed soon?!” His husband has been doing his part - diligently giving Daniel his seed every day - usually multiple times a day - but he is desperate to feel life inside him - life put their by his husband and mate.

Terry rests a hand on his stomach - he knows his little omegas already is, but he’s waiting for him to figure it out. “Of course we will, and it will be one of many, sweetheart.” Terry has big plans for his little mate and their family. He may not be a practising Catholic anymore, but his cock sure is - with the amount of children it’s going to put inside his womb.

“Let’s go see some sights,” Terry says - and Daniel starts listing out the places he wishes his alpha to take him to, Terry having bought him a book in the airport of the best places to visit while in Italy.

[equalseleventhirds]

likely embarrassing question: saw your tags on that post about battle tactics, do you have any recommendations on somewhat generic isekais with good battle tactics? those are my catnip

i am tbh embarrassed to admit that i burn through manhwa & manga extremely fast; i pull up a random series and read it on the train like. daily. sometimes more than one. and so they do all sorta blend together? i can tell u that i read one where someone got isekaied in as like 12-year-old girl who joined some nobles' war game and fucked them all over, or another one where some prince or duke or w/e got his whole life ruined bcos he carelessly let ppl get killed under his command, but do i remember what it was called?? absolutely not and i am so so sorry.

that being said, some stuff that you might enjoy after i skimmed through my browsing history (and with the caveat that i am not an expert on battle tactics and simply enjoy when basic common sense is applied to battles):

i'm not the final boss's lover: fantasy romance isekai where she's abandoned by the lead and joins the army of the guy who might one day be the villain, if she can't stop it. she is trying to stop it by training ppl up and strategizing. (kinda short rn but i have high hopes for it)

archmage transcending through regression: fantasy, not very romantic, technically a timetravel/regression story, but it's got the Vibes, and he spends a lot of time berating the former hero for doing bad tactics that got ppl hurt or killed.

another typical fantasy romance: isekai and regression, actually not a ton of big battle stuff quite yet but digs into the trauma of war as well as the heroine's desire to just handle all this stuff sensibly

dungeon reset: dungeon isekai, doin some fascinating things with like, remembering the importance of food and shelter and stuff in a world where ppl were defaulting to 'the strongest survives alone' bullshit.

the tragedy of the viillainess: fantasy romance isekai, not a TON of fighting but when they do it there is a strong focus on ppl needing to value the lives of their soldiers and using strategy and proper formations to keep ppl from dying

trace of the wonder: dungeon isekai (well, dungeons open up and ppl go into them), rly cool focus on the importance of knowing how to use architecture and the environment during battles, and also the horrors of war, u kno

cavier falcon princess: ok not technically isekai at all (does it count as isekai if u possess a bird? probably not), but fantasy romance that is occurring during an active war and strategy is a big ol part of it and lots of important choices must be made and u kno, ppl actually think & care about it

........and that's all i got rn, i s2g there's more but can i remember which???? i cannot. alas, i sometimes consume media in a fugue state.

[superbattrash]

Okay, episode 2 had less of what I expected but more of other good stuff, that’s cool

Sandy ep2

Man, it’s like looking at my own depression, yikes. You’ll be ok sandy, you’ll rebuild, I’m sure it’ll be just as nice as before

At least you have lulu, they seem nice. And very loyal too as far as I can tell

Oh no, you don’t have your full powers, you poor little sandymandy. You can get them back tho! You totally can, I promise. Wait is Ethel still alive then? Oh she totally is, that’s crazy

Good for you, E, but you’re totally ruining Sandy’s life, that’s not very nice of you

That’s gotta be teef man, right? He is so obsessed. Are eyes worth that much for you Corin? You had a decade of fun, now go home with your master

3-in-1, how very head and shoulders of you. I think lulu is right, maybe the others will help- oh. Oh right. They didn’t help you when you were all alone and naked :( okay, forget the siblings then, go for the shower people

Is that a DRAGON OH MY GOD IT’S SO UGLY I LOVE HIMMMMMM. Oh. Gargoyle, sorry

Cain? As in- oh my god THAT cain, okay okay then. Mystery and secrets? Cool cool, that. Probably makes sense, idk

No, don’t take the not-dragon!! They’re so mean, you ALL lost something, boys, don’t be mean :( oh you’re so sad. This is awful, I don’t like this, Cain and Abel just want their Greg to be okay :(

You’re gonna absorb him just to get the head and shoulders guys to come and not even tell you what you wanna know?? Sandy, I don’t like this :(

Oh you’re crying. Don’t cry. If you cry, I’ll cry 😭

Sandy, you need to give Gregory back when you’re done, I won’t forgive you if you don’t

He???? Just killed???? I mean I know he did but but w h a t

Kill him?? And then trust you? Jesus, this crazy bitch. Oh, a very thinly veiled threat, nice, Corin.

The Fates, right, sorry, I forgot their actual name, excuse me, but you’re really going into the murky water just to, what? Pay them? This is a lot, sandy, just.. a lot

JESUS CHRIST I JUST PEED A LITTLE I didn’t expect a jump scare sort of deal

Sandy, I like sandy more. Can I call you morph if I really have to call you something else?

He’s confident but polite, that’s a nice combination so far

CONSTANTINE????? ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Like the one we already know?? Probably not, but I’ll pretend

Oh my god is that gonna give them a new Gregory? Please please please, yay

Supernatural and sexiest, ehehehe, okay, that’s fun, Ethel. You’re both flirting, now stop it. Oh god don’t show her your not-eyes, you crazy bastard JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WHAT DID YOU DO, ETHEL

oh so he keeps killing him over and over, that’s…something. IT’S A NEW BABY YAAAAY, I KNEW IT. Irving? Really? Ok then, it’s your not-dragon. G, you say? Just call it Girving then. Oh, same brain

Aaaand you killed him

Where are you now, E? Who are you visiting, hmm? That’s gotta be your kid. Oh so by taken your son, you meant his mind? Wait, is that. Is that whatshisface. The actor who plays the Weasley dad?? It sounds like him anyway

Goldie?? Hm, okay I guess

Abel. My guy. Bestie. That is not healthy

Lulu is totally my fav - or yaknow. Second favorite. I still like sandy mostest

“No more ravens” cries sobs screams

You can’t just expect Constantine to obey you, dude, you ain’t got any of your mojo

Is that you, Corin? Did Ethel send you back home? Oh that is. Disturbing to watch. Lulu can you please beat his ass? “I fit right in”, yeah, humans suck, Corin, we know. You kinda have a point but it’s not a very good point, just sayin’

Alright. I did think there’d be more chasing but it’s still a solid 7 I’d say. Good characters, many questions. Oh and very nice buildup which I appreciate, a good tummy full of lore, thank you, sandy

[manallandall]

Lot-ghier'j

Ib’nfashul (Disappearing footprints).

Her name is Tillae, but that is too hard to type so I will call this “character” telli, but that spelling is too childish so it’s going to morph into something more like “Tille” (BUT, you have to remember to say the ‘e’ as ‘ee’ and I don’t trust you (audience) enough, which is why I am actually going to type the WHOLE fucking name out -> as Tellie. “Joke’s on me tho”, sorry you had (ruin it) and read the intro like that makes me look bad as the “awker” and the books already ruined; that should take the pressure off me/you anyways (fuck ups forevr’s!!). ♠

Tili’s toes gripped into the sand; she was walking the beach searching after the best stick! That was just the excuse anyways… (It would be night soon). Tili’s heart was pulled towards her feet. She didn’t want to be afraid, that was cowardice, and not the intellectual tradition of her mother or, the fiitha monster would come out soon. The villagers exchanged stern opinion about the opposition. Hehh, she’d actually faced one, and won! Well fought it anyways, well not really fought it, but more like she could have died and that seemed brave, and no what am I saying she fended it off, really it felt more like a stare down (was it trying to communicate something with her…?) Too afraid to get help by any other means than the own miserable war being hustled? Not womanly thoughts, too dense and amok w/ politics 🟧 She could feel the breath smelling down the back of her w’kyuc.

They are a creature of the night only, “so you wetter get your butt home before dark and all that, +”. there’s not any sense in fighting them. Several groups of proud men tried (peace to the fallen). if the source of their power can’t be discovered, that would spell doom faster than if…………. that was the weird thing; they just started appearing out of nowwhere!

The seas were splashing off to her side. Why can’t people just get along but she didn’t really care because she’d rather meat a Fiitha monster than be off on a victorious adventure with her yyy brothe (* right_now) and she did not like being mean to people to hurt his heart, but that’s why even if he’d never understand she had to put herself in danger right now (but she’ll win, by praising yyy teachings, even deep inside yyy mother’s words resonated twice as brightly as any near damn star. (I said damn jk NOT Tilli) rather why didn’t the fietta monsters want to work with us? They were a part of nature, and the seas, were a part of nature | and I am a part of nature, so we had all three together in conference.

The skies were moving Hastily over head and were surely more powerful than the seas? Buttt Teli nevr believed those Drenkhik words, those “holy steps”. Maybe they were like brothers and sisters, but something about the Sea’s life! The stars were distant and dead, even the sky tried to hide the fact that it didn’t care. Life abounded in the seas and worshiped the sky (repectfully), but even still hated the stars or so she though but it didn’t matter. That made her think of her brother Kaykuola. Kaykuola was three years older than her; she was his equal because he decided for it to be so. This is neither here nor there but → He was so powerful (and he’d already seen her boobs by accident, but he never talked about it). She even changed right in front of him on purpose, and they were just the same person; He learned from father and all the brothers in the village and was like a god or something with all of father’s wild-flower insticts. Father could see the future, but acted scared, like he’d run out of time to shield her. It was elegant how he let others in on the plan; like a pleasure war leak, which felt more like forced labor. That’s why she felt safe right here right now, on the shore with all her mother’s and fling from distant compound; SPLASHHhh, seas were speaking in an ancient language and they protected Kula too.

Let her try nature and Kula’s ghost, against the sun for more time, “Kula” stepped alongside her, “you go further sister, I’ll stay here and hold them off – you find the ancient ones and tell the our grief, his heart made her stone, so she didn’t cry, the only crack in the rock was if he did – but father made him too yyy for that! Anywho the warm salt would get you high for the point of it, “ouch!” sharp stones became more and more less dismissable. Okay fine moma, I’ll return home to your dreadful love. Kanaktuga was more complicated than most people spoke; which made him simple to undertand for Tili. She knew he would give “dark” knowledge to any who would seek it and use it for good, but she would fail, so it would bring Kanaktuga close to rescue her – and so save her village at the cost of her soul (but her brother would fight for that)… It felt so selfish, and so the seas were. The fiitha monster needed studied so it could speak knowledge dark withing.

ama

[h34vybottom]

Because of certain reasons or whatever I try to keep my online shit on this website pretty concise. Pretty clear cut to whatever extent I can in the moment but I dunno I'm kind of over being clean for the moment. A lot of bad shit has happened to me over my life and like it fucking sucks and I hate it! And I want shit to ve different and I want people to never be like how I was as a kid and you know I can't do that. I have no actual power or anything. I have no influence over anyone. Oh fuck me one note on a post FUVK now I'm really a social media influcenc3t. Like nah. I've been ignored for so long and I hate that shit. I'm not asking for attention here, I'm just saying shit. This era of online everything and everything being sooooo hostile on every level that you can't even go outside anymore w/out some annoying cunt trying to make you into fucking views. Actual fucking freaks like me can't catch a break and I'm sorry but who the fuck is asking for all this shit? Why are people so eager for clout and shit? The money? The fame? You want your life to be that fucking miserable? You want to ruin others that fucking easily????? You want to subscribe to Twitter Blue that badly? Get your misinformation cheques that much? Sometimes I wish what I said had meaning in a world so wanting to get rid of meaning in exchange for profit. Sometimes I wish my words had value and that people understood that shit beyond misinterpreted byllshit. Sometimes I wish there was fucking nuance. There ain't shit. Nothing. Not a fucking thing. This is such a me issue. Like I dunno maybe I wish the people in charge of governance would actually, you know. Give a fuck!!!! about th e people they're dooming..like no it's not good that corporations literally get away w/ actual fucking slavery. I need that to stop. Can't do shit about it. I don't want Apple using fuxking CBP and other parts of the US government to criminalize, harass, and dismantle small businesses because they want complete and utter control over how people use their own purchases and ultimately their lives. You know. Heavy shit. I try to not to be so heavy all the time on this interred net of ours, BUT YOU KNOW sometimes it's impossible..sorry buddy. I get ignored anyway so what the fuck does it even matter

[lesbrarians]

people rbing my hs strider apt layout to tell me that bro sux:

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

Incorrect Quotes: ISWM (Parts 1 and 2) Edition

Engineer Mark: *speaking into a walkie-talkie* Engine to Cap, Engine to Cap! Testing! Testing!

Engineer Mark: Testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing!

Engineer Mark: TESTING! AAAAUUUUGGH! TEST, TEST! DO YOU READ?!

Captain: *smiling* Cap to Engine, I read you loud and clear

___

Celci: So, what, now we’re just supposed to do anything that the Captain does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff? Engineer Mark: If the Captain were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see the Captain jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff. Celci: You jump off a cliff! Engineer Mark: Gladly. Provided the Captain does first.

___

Wug: So, Friend Gunther challenged Wug to a sparring match. Wug agreed, because Wug was curious about human combat. Things went pretty good at first, but then Friend Mark walked in looking for something, and. . .Wug accidentally punched him in the face.

Wug: And while Wug was trying to help Friend Mark up, Wug couldn’t decide whether to say, “WUG’S SO FUCKING SORRY, HUMAN!” Or “HUMAN, ARE YOU OKAY?”

Wug: So. . .Wug just panicked and yelled, “ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY, HUMAN?!”

___

Engineer Mark: It’s a white flag, Mack. And you might as well start waving it—

Mack: THE ONLY THING I WILL BE WAVING IS YOUR DECAPITATED HEAD ON A STICK IN FRONT OF YOUR WEEPING MOTHER!

___

Gunther: Whoa, careful there, buddy. You’re making this whole fight-to-the-death thing a little homoerotic. . .

Gunther: Then again, that might just be me. This happens so often it’s hard to tell

___

Engineer Mark: Hey, wanna bang?

Engineer Mark: HANG! I meant hang! Damn autocorrect. . .

Captain: . . .Mark, this is a verbal conversation

___

Captain: We all learn from our mistakes 

Celci: Then Mark should be a genius by now. . .

___

Engineer Mark, Celci, Gunther, and Mack: *arguing very loudly and very aggressively. No one can tell what they’re even fighting over, least of all any of them*

Burt: *stares at them, expression completely blank. His eyes twitch, one after the other*

Burt: *takes a deep breath, then slams his arm on the table everyone is sitting at* WE ARE IN A GODDAMN IHOP! ACT LIKE IT!!!

___

Celci: Mack isn’t exactly a team player

Captain: What do you mean?

Celci: Just earlier, he told me that I was the only other person on this ship with any functioning braincells. Then he asked me to “come lead a magnificent revolution” with him because “we could take over command of the Invincible II, and eventually the universe at large.”

Captain: . . .Oh. Well, what did you say to that?

Celci: I accepted, of course. Which reminds me that I should be going—

___

Allu: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Engineer Mark: Thank you

Allu: That’s. . .not a good thing—

Engineer Mark: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny

___

Engineer Mark: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is gonna be fine!

Captain: How can you still say that?!

Engineer Mark: Because sometimes, when things get tough, D E N I A L is all we have.

___

Wug: Wug doesn’t think Wug can be on the same ship as the human who ruined Wug’s life

Captain: *on their knees, sobbing* FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I’M SORRY, I DON’T KNOW WHY I DIDN’T WANT THE DONUTS, PLEASE FORGIVE ME—

___

Mack: Finally! With control over the Invincible II, the ultimate power is mine!

Mack: PERFECT TAX EVASION

___

Captain: Gunther, we’ve been over this. Violence isn’t the answer.

Gunther: Y’know what, Cap? You’re right. . .

Captain: *sighs in relief* Thank you.

Gunther: Violence is the QUESTION. 

Captain: Wait, what?

Gunther: *now running away* AND THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS YES!

Captain: GUNTHER NO—!

___

Mack: It would be nice to change the world, y’know?

Captain: For the better?

Mack: . . .

Captain: Mack, please answer me

___

Wug: YOU HEAR WUG, YOU BASTARD?! WUG’LL CUT OFF YOUR NUTSACK AND NAIL IT TO WUG’S DOOR! LIKE ONE OF THOSE. . .LION DOOR-KNOCKERS RICH FOLKS GOT! THAT WILL BE YOUR BALLS!

___

Gunther: *drunk as hell* H-HEY GUYS, LET’S PLAY SPIN THE BOTTLE!

Celci: DID YOU DRINK THAT ENTIRE BOTTLE OF WHISKEY?!

Gunther: OKAY, I’LL GO FIRST—

___

Engineer Mark: *high off his tits on spacedust* Drink water, get plenty of sleep, go mad in space, talk to the dead, take your meds, don’t talk to cops.

___

Captain: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Engineer Mark: No.

Wug: Wug did not

Burt: I may have actually forgotten one.

Gunther: Also no.

Captain: Oh, good, neither did I.

Allu: *exhausted sigh*

___

Captain: Well, you know what they say—when life gives you lemons. . .

Engineer Mark: Put them in a facemask 

Celci: Use them as a battery

Gunther: Throw them at people

Mack: Squirt the juice into life’s eyes. Steal life’s wallet and assume its identity. Now you ARE life. You hold dominion over all. Your enemies cower at your feet.

Captain: . . .make lemonade. The answer was to make lemonade, guys.

___

Bandit: Wug was banned from the intergalactic chicken shack, so we had to go into the wormhole to get some.

Wug: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it!

Bandit: Wug, you ate a chair. . .

___

Engineer Mark: I hate when people say “Are you even listening to me?”

Engineer Mark: That’s such a weird way to start a conversation.

___

[At Chef Rexx’s restaurant]

Burt: *walks up to the counter* Do you serve coffee here?

Cashier Rexx: *nods* Sure do.

Burt: Okay. Can I get a venti vanilla latte with. . .uhhhh. . .

Burt: . . .seven shots of espresso?

Cashier Rexx: *blinks* Jesus Christ, just do cocaine—!

___

Mack: You know what else is not stealing? Putting an extra bike lock on a stranger’s bike.

Mack: It’s insane that bike locks are legal. You have any idea the amount of power that you wield. . .with your imagination and a bike lock? There are so many things—like, you could just walk past a Baskin Robins and be like “You’re closed!”

___

Engineer Mark: Hey, did you know that “thot” means “thoughtful person?”

Allu: Really? I didn’t know this Earth slang

[Later, on the Invincible II]

Allu: Thanks so much for giving me a tour of your ship, Captain. You’re such a thot.

Captain: *wheezing* I’m a WHAT—

___

Engineer Mark: Do you ever get a feeling where you look at someone and your heart skips a beat?

Burt: That’s called arrhythmia.

Engineer Mark: *not really paying attention* I get that feeling every time I look at the Captain—

Burt: *starts dragging Engineer Mark to MedBay* It’s a serious condition that you can die from

___

Captain: Life gets so much better when you accept yourself for the weird little bitch that you are.

___

Mack: The Captain made me care about stupid things.

Engineer Mark: Like what?

Mack: Friends. Humanity. My mental health.

Captain: Don’t forget the morals!

Mack: *lets out a long-suffering sigh* And morals.

___

Bandit: The path to peace begins with four simple words.

Bandit: Not. My. Fucking. Problem.

___

Engineer Mark: Allu didn’t know that “cowboy” is a word, so, they called them “horse-pirates” and I’ve been laughing about it for an hour.

___

Captain: *guiding the Invincible II crew on an expedition around the new planet*

Tyler: Psst. Hey, Gunther. I missed something. Can I see your notes?

Gunther: Sure thing. Here ya go.

Tyler: Thanks.

Tyler: *looks at the notebook*

Tyler: . . .This is the Hamburglar being torn apart by bears. . .

Gunther: I’m thinking of doing a graphic novel so I can shop it around to Hollywood studios.

Tyler: The Hamburglar being torn apart by bears, Gunther.

Gunther: Yeah, I’m not really sure what you were expecting from my notes.

___

Engineer Mark: I almost drowned in the sink.

Celci: I’m sorry, what?

Mack: Imagine that headline. “Head Engineer of Invincible II Drowns in Sink.”

Burt: How do you even drown in a sink?

Engineer Mark: Well, I filled the sink and put my face in it. And then my head got stuck under the faucet.

Captain: Mark, what the actual fuck—

___

Gunther: Why the fuck do I NEED to come out?! If you really think I’M straight, then that’s on you!

___

Engineer Mark: FOUR MONTHS!

Captain: What’s with him?

Mack: *suppressing his giggles* It’s nothing, really—

Engineer Mark: THAT’S HOW LONG YOU STOOD BY AND WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT!

___

Engineer Mark: *pointing* Is this seat taken?

Captain: . . .That’s my lap.

Engineer Mark: With all due respect, that doesn’t answer my question, Captain.

___

Mack: *dripping with sarcasm* Oh, I’m sorry! Why don’t we just relax and turn on the radio? Would you like AHM or FHMMMMMMMM?!

___

Bandit: *slightly raising her voice to be heard down the aisle* What chip brand do you want?

Wug: *yelling back at full volume* WUG’S ALWAYS A SLUT FOR COOL RANCH DORITOS

___

Engineer Mark: Can we agree to not tell anyone about this?

Bandit: This isn’t even the most disappointing thing I know about you so far

___

Captain: I just want someone to take me out.

Burt: . . .Like, on a date or with a sniper?

Captain: *thinking of Mark and Mack* I’m open to surprises.

___

Allu: It’s kind of hot out to be wearing all black.

Captain: *obviously uncomfortable* I look awesome

Allu: *genuinely concerned* You look pallid and sick.

Captain: *sweating profusely* Yeah, sick as fuck—

___

Mack: Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you’ll be a mile away from them and will also have their shoes. And they probably won’t be able to do anything about it.

___

Allu: Hey, Captain? Can you please give me some. . .dating advice?

Captain: Look, just because I’m in a relationship with several members of my crew doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

___

Bandit: Alright, Wug, Today was a good day, but now it’s time for some shuteye.

Wug: *holding up an adorable, fluffy plushie* Mr. Snuffles says Wug can stay up as long as Wug wants, and that Friend Bandit needs to die!

Bandit: *staring at the plushie* . . .What the heck, Mr. Snuffles?

___

Ms. Whitacare: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Engineer Mark: Have everyone stand.

Burt: Bring in three more chairs.

Mack: Choose the best seven and let them sit down.

Gunther: Kill three.

___

Engineer Mark: Y’know, sometimes I don’t think you take me seriously.

Bandit: Really? There are times you think I do?

___

Celci: Hey, toss me my keys.

Engineer Mark: *chucks a printer at Celci*

Celci: I said keys!

Engineer Mark: I thought you said printer.

Celci: Why the FUCK would I say PRINTER?

___

Captain: I come from a long line of people who had something wrong with them.

___

Gunther: It’s got everything I like! Gratuitous violence. . .

Gunther: . . .

Captain: Oh, I thought you were listing things.

Gunther: I was. I’m done now.

___

Allu: Where’s your Head Engineer?

Captain: Oh, Mark? He’s just doing stuff.

Allu: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s your Cryogenics Officer?

Captain: Trying to stop Mark from doing the stuff.

Allu: And your ADS Officer?

Captain: Trying to stop Celci from stopping Mark from doing the stuff.

Allu: I see. And what are you doing here, Captain?

Captain: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Gunther from stopping Celci from stopping Mark form doing the stuff.

___

Engineer Mark: Dude, I just read an article that said swearing can make you live longer.

Gunther: I! SHALL BE! IMORTAAAAAAAAALLLL!!!!

___

Mack: Hello? Engineer Mark: Hey, what’s up? Mack: I need your help. Can you come here? Engineer Mark: Eh, I can’t, I’m buying clothes. Mack: Alright, well, hurry up and get over here Engineer Mark: I can’t find ‘em. Mack: . . .Whaddaya mean you can’t find ‘em? Engineer Mark: I can’t find ‘em, there’s only soup. Mack: Whadaya mean there’s only soup? Engineer: It means there’s only soup! Mack: Well then, get OUT of the SOUP AISEL! Engineer Mark: ALRIGHT, you don’t have to SHOUT AT ME! […] Engineer Mark: There’s more soup! Mack: Whaddaya mean there’s more soup?! Engineer Mark: There’s just more soup! Mack: Go into the next aisle! […] Engineer Mark: There’s still soup! Mack: Where are you right now?! Engineer Mark: I’m at soup! Mack: WHADDAYA MEAN YOU’RE “AT SOUP?” Engineer Mark: I MEAN I’M AT SOUP! Mack: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?! Engineer Mark: I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!! Mack: WHY’RE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!?!? Engineer Mark: FUCK YOU!!!!

___

Allu: No, I’m not tired of being nice. Yes, I still wanna go apeshit. These things can coexist, stop asking me.

Allu: I wanna go apeshit, but like, in a kind and respectful way.

___

Burt: Now, guys, stop arguing or we’ll turn this ship around!

Captain: *grabbing the controls* SHUT UP OR I’LL STEER THIS SHIP INTO A FUCKING ASTEROID FIELD

Engineer Mark and Mack: *screaming*

___

Captain: Hey, what time is it?

Engineer Mark: *shrugs* I don’t know. Hand me my trumpet.

Captain: *raises an eyebrow, then takes Mark’s childhood trumpet out of his closet and gives it to him*

Engineer Mark: Thank you. *starts playing the trumpet very loudly and very poorly*

Celci: *yelling from across the ship* WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING A TRUMPET AT FOUR IN THE MORNING?!?!?

Engineer Mark: It’s four in the morning.

___

Gunther: So far this year, I have realized that I am—1. Out of control, and 2. Even bi-er than I thought I was.

___

Engineer Mark: Am I in trouble?

Celci: Take a guess.

Engineer Mark: . . .No?

Celci: Take another guess

___

Captain: *completely deadpan* Stop forgiving my crimes. I worked hard on those.

___

Engineer Mark: He’s touching me!

Mack: *pointing at Mark, holding his finger exactly one inch from Mark’s shoulder* I am not.

Engineer Mark: AH! You’re touching me!

Mack: *in a sing-song voice* Not touching~

Engineer Mark: TOUCHING. ME.

Mack: *rolls his eyes* It’s free air.

Engineer Mark: *grabs Mack’s hand and bites him*

Mack: *shrieking bloody murder* HE BIT ME! CAPTAIN, MARK’S BITING ME!

Captain: *not looking up from their work* Knock it off, you two. I’m busy.

Engineer Mark: HE STARTED IT

Captain: I don’t care who started it, I’LL FINISH IT.

___

Celci: Are you familiar with the gearshift?

Engineer Mark: You mean the prindle?

Celci: . . .The what?

Engineer Mark: The prindle!

Celci: For God’s sake—are you referring to the lever that say P-R-N-D-L?

Engineer Mark: I’m not a kid, Celci! I know how to spell prindle!

___

Celci: Some people just need a high-five.

Celci: . . .in the face. . .

Celci: . . .with a chair. . .

___

Engineer Mark: *carrying several supplies, obviously struggling*

Captain: *holds out their hands to help*

Engineer Mark: *aggressively moves all the supplies to one hand in order to hold hands with The Captain*

___

Engineer Mark: Why can’t you just see things from my perspective?!

Celci: *kneels down*

Mack: *sits on the floor*

Burt: *curls up into a ball*

Engineer Mark: Okay, listen here, you little shits—

___

Celci: Get out of my quarters, Mark.

Engineer Mark: *standing exactly one inch from the doorway* But I’m not even in your quarters.

Celci: I don’t care, get out of my quarters!

Engineer Mark: But I’m not IN your quarters!

Celci: Well you’re bothering me so GET OUT!

Engineer Mark: I’m just minding my own business!

Celci: Yeah, in MY quarters! Captain, Mark is in my quarters!

Captain: Mark, please head to your own quarters. 

Engineer Mark: I’M NOT EVEN IN HER FUCKING QUARTERS!

___

Gunther: Quick, I need $10,000 because I have ADHD and am bisexual

___

Burt: *takes a long, deep breath*

Burt: *whispers* “yup” as quietly as humanly possible*

___

Wug: Wug thinks Friend Mx. Allu might be mad at you and Friend Captain.

Engineer Mark: What makes you say that?

Wug: *typing on his communicator* Friend Mx. Allu seemed really busy when Wug went to report to them, and they asked Wug to relay a message to Friend Mark.

Engineer Mark: *leans forward to listen to the hologram recording*

Allu: *on the hologram* Greetings, Human. I hope this message finds you before I do. . .

___

Mack: My two reasons for doing things—1. Spite, and 2. The aesthetic. That’s it.

Mack: . . .Okay, I lied—3. Attention

___

Engineer Mark: They say lions throw their cubs off ravines and only raise the ones strong enough to climb back up. Well, firstly, that’s not true and completely irrelevant to the story, but it makes for a cool opening!

___

Bandit: I lost Wug for an entire weekend at the mall once.

Bandit: He was living in a boba shop. He was so happy there. . .

___

[The Captain is introducing the crew to Allu Minum]

Captain: This is Burt, short for Burton.

Captain: This is Celci, short for Celcionna.

Captain: This is Mack, short for Mackenzie.

Captain: And this is Mark. He’s just short.

Engineer Mark: *internally screaming*

Everyone Else: *struggling to contain their laughter*

___

Gunther: I did a little bit of spying on the Captain. Do you want me to spill the beans?

Burt: Why would you ever intentionally spill beans? They’re one of nature’s most densely packed protein sources, and they remain unsullied by flavor.

___

Captain: Sometimes I just wanna yeet myself out of the ship and taste some of that delicious, scrumptious space air

Engineer Mark: As I can recall, there is no space air?

Captain: Exactly

___

Engineer Mark: WHY AREN’T THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS?!

Engineer Mark: Like, everything is the same as a kid’s playground, but bigger! Why don’t we have those?!

Burt: We do. They’re called theme parks.

Engineer Mark: But you have to PAY for theme parks!

Burt: That’s the adult part.

___

Engineer Mark: Do you think we went overboard with the party decorations?

Gunther: Nah, it’s cool

Celci: THE SHIP IS ON FIRE

Burt: Aesthetic

___

Engineer Mark: Hey, Mack? Where’s the Captain?

Mack: The Captain’s fine. . . *starts laughing maniacally*

Mack: Sorry, I just thought of something funny. *points at The Captain* They’re right here.

___

[Engineer Mark and Gunther are practice-sparring]

Gunter: *pulls yet another gun seemingly out of nowhere* Check this out, Markimoo!

Engineer Mark: GUNTHER!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? YOU THINK YOU CAN HURT ME WITH THAT? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, GUNTHER? SHOOT ME?

[30 minutes later]

Celci, to Engineer Mark as his gunshot wounds are getting treated in MedBay: I’m really not sure what you were expecting to happen there.

___

Burt: Captain, what are you doing?

Captain: I’m confronting the person who ruined my life.

Burt: . . .

Burt: You’re yelling at a mirror, Captain. . .

___

Engineer Mark: Yes, I know you reassured me literally one hour ago, but I need reassurance once again.

___

[A typical conversation about The Captain]

Mack: —HOT! HOW ARE THEY SO FUCKING HOT?! AND RESPECTFUUUUUULLL?!?!?

Engineer Mark: *quietly snickering* Oh my God. . .

Mack: THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM.

___

Gunther: Captain, facts are like stars

Burt: Always in the sky, but you can’t always see them

Gunther: No, they’re like shining holes in the dark light of my ignorance. AND I DON’T LIKE ‘EM!

___

Captain: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Gunther: My life is a little too much fallout and not enough boy.

Celci: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Burt: My life is a little too much imagination and not enough dragons

___

Wug: What’s the meaning of human life?

Captain: Mark.

Wug: Aww! Because Friend Mark is always by Friend Captain’s side?

Captain: No. Because life is short.

Wug: *bursts out laughing*

Engineer Mark, from the other room: I HEARD THAT

___

Engineer Mark: People who sleep with their phone on silent or DND really don’t give a fuck about anybody.

Celci and/or The Bandit: Look, if you decide to have a problem after midnight, that’s between you and God.

Captain: . . .

Burt: How do you set your phone to Dungeons and Dragons?

___

Engineer Mark: Allu won’t trace it back to us, don’t worry

Captain: Are you for real? They trace everything back to us! They’ve traced things we haven’t even done back to us!

___

Engineer Mark: This ship is an “uwu” free zone

Celci: For once, I agree with you, Mark. And anyone who goes “uwu” or “OwO” in response shall be imprisoned for their crimes against humanity

Mack: cwimes agwainst huwmanwity ^w^

Engineer Mark: *starting to tremble, tears now running down his face* I-I am going t-to break your fucking fingers. . !

Burt: bwoken bwones awe tempowawy. Bwut twauma-indwuced nightmwares can wast as wong as a wifetime uwu

Celci: *grits her teeth, trying to keep a pokerface* I won’t hesitate to kill you, bitches!

Captain: *begins crawling around on the ceiling* this mowtwal vessel is ownwy a shwell contwaining howwors the univwerse has newer sween OwO

Engineer Mark and Celci: *holding each other and screaming in absolute terror*

___

Gunther: *pulls a cigar out of his jacket*

Celci: *gives Gunther a disapproving look*

Gunther: *shrugs as he lights the cigar* I just like the feeling of something in my lungs.

Celci: . . .

Gunther: . . .

Celci: Have you tried breathing—

___

Captain: *being interviewed after going through a certain timeline* Am I intimidated by Mack? No. He can be a bit crazy at times, but—

Engineer Mark: *pokes his head through the door of The Captain’s quarters* Mack requested a meeting with you

Captain: *scrambling under their desk* oH SHIT—

___

Mack: Captain, you ignorant slut—

___

Celci: Whatever you’re thinking right now, stop.

Engineer Mark: What?

Celci: You always make that face when you’re about to say something stupid to piss me off. So do yourself a favor and cut it out alrea—

Engineer Mark: I wanted to apologize for all the animosity between us. I shouldn’t just resort to insulting you when you bring up ideas that are different than mine. I haven’t been respecting you like a good crew member should, so I can’t expect you to respect me, either. 

Celci: . . .

Engineer Mark: . . .

Celci: Mark, I—

Engineer Mark: Also, cereal qualifies as a soup

Celci: I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

___

Celci: The Captain’s cryopod has been malfunctioning; they won’t be able to enter or stay in hibernation because of it. We can’t take off until it’s repaired.

Burt: So, what you’re proposing is that whomever helps the Captain stay asleep wins some kind of prize?

Celci: That’s not at all what I—

Mack: *bursts into the room, holding a cast iron frying pan* Where are they?

___

Captain: *on their communicator* Bandit! We need your help! I—

Bandit: *having been just woken up* Nuh-uh, Cap. Is your ship on fire?

Captain: . . .Well, no—

Bandit: Then it’s not a real emergency. *hangs up and goes back to sleep*

Celci: What did she say? She’s an expert on wormholes, isn’t she? Did she know what to do about a portal to some new dimension opening up in the commons room?

Captain: Apparently, this isn’t a real emergency.

Engineer Mark: *being strangled by some horrific alien creature* HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NOT A REAL EMERGENCY?!

___

Burt: Captain, you know Mark will never agree to this plan.

Captain: Sure he will

Celci: I’ve already asked him three times. His response was to blow raspberries and flip me off.

Captain: Well then, let me try

Captain: *walks into the next room, approaching Mark* Hey, Mark! Could you—

Engineer Mark: Y e s .

___

Burt: Change is inedible. Celci: Don't you mean inevitable? Burt: *spitting out coins* No, I did not.

___

Captain: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.

Bandit: Only if you also don't ask why Bandit: *pulls seven pristine human skulls out of her coat* Take your pick. Captain: . . . Bandit: . . . Captain: This one is fine

___

Captain: Gunther, I said you could bring one other crew member to this meeting. ONE.

Gunther: They’re good pals. They work well together.

Mack: *trying to strangle Engineer Mark in the background* WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY ABOUT PEEPACHU?!?! SAY IT AGAIN RIGHT NOW!!!! I DARE YOU!!!!!!!!

Captain: . . .

Gunther: . . .I mean, they’re entertaining, aren’t they?

___

Captain: Mark and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other’s— Engineer Mark: Sentences? Captain: Don't interrupt me.

___

Mack: Hey, Captain! Trick or Yeet?

Captain: *confused and not really paying attention* “Yeet?”

Mack: Yeet it is!

Mack: *tosses The Captain into the dungeon*

___

Gunther: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you Captain: 10 times 0 is still 0 though Gunther: Jokes on you, I can't do math

___

Captain: Mark, you need to apologize to Celci

Engineer Mark: *rolling his eyes* Fffffffiiiine!

Engineer Mark: *with strained politeness towards Celci* “Unfuck you,” or whatever

___

Wug: If Theoretical Human had to choose between Hideous Human and all the money Wug has in Wug’s wallet, which would Theoretical Human take? Mack: That depends, how much money are we talking about? Engineer Mark: Mack. . ! Wug: 63 cents. Mack: I'll take the money. Engineer Mark: MACK!!!

___

Captain: *to the Invincible II crew* Alright, listen up, you little shits!

Captain: *to Wug and The Bandit* Not you two. You’re angels and we’re glad to have you here

___

Engineer Mark: What did Vincent say when he lost his car in the parking lot?

Engineer Mark: “Where did my Van Gogh?”

Celci: *rolling her eyes* The correct pronunciation of “Gogh” is “goff,” you uncultured swine.

Engineer Mark: *gives Celci double birds* Well then, fuck Gogh.

Mack: *just passing through* Actually, both of you are wrong. Vincent Van Gogh was Dutch. His name is actually pronounced “Van KHOCK,” so, suck my Gogh.

___

Gunther: If I don’t pay up I’ll go to jail for tax evasion! I’m insane enough to take on drones and aliens. . .but the IRS? NOOOOOOOOOOO THANK YOUUUUUUU!!!

___

Gunther: Just trust me, alright? Have I ever put us in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?

Mack: Yes? Literally all the time?!

Gunther: Then you should be used to it now, bitchboy 

___

Engineer Mark: I’m well aware of the fact that I’ve accidentally set myself on fire. 

Engineer Mark: Is that any of your business? No, it is not.

Engineer Mark: And no, I don’t need your pity water. Let me burn in peace.

___

Mack: *gently taps table*

Engineer Mark: *taps table in response*

Captain: What are they doing?

Burt: Using morse code

Mack: *now aggressively tapping the table*

Engineer Mark: *slams his hands down on the table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

___

Ms. Whitacare: Now, what are the three stages of life?

Celci: Birth

Captain: What the fuck is this

Engineer Mark: Death

___

Allu: Looks like you and your crew are all set. *Shakes hands with The Captain* Have fun on the rest of your journey. Please don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

Engineer Mark: *raising an eyebrow* I thought you said to have FUN.

___

Captain, to a heavily injured Engineer Mark: We’re almost at MedBay, Mark. Quick, what’s your type?

Engineer Mark, a bit loopy: Vague features, a thoughtful attitude, a firm grip. . .

Captain: . . .

Captain: NO, I MEANT YOUR BLOOD TYPE!

Engineer Mark: . . .Oh.

Engineer Mark: Red

___

Captain: Name a more iconic duo than me and procrastination! Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Burt: Of course you will

Mack: I should kill you

___

Captain: I’m having a baby. 

Invincible II Crew: *celebrating* Wug: Really? Wow! Wug’s never seen infant humans befo— Captain: *slamming adoption papers on the table in front of Wug* It's you, sign here.

___

Mack: Let’s play a game. We all know the Captain and Mark will end up killing each other, inadvertently or not, but what about everyone else? Celci: Gunther will do some murdering, but in the end, he’ll ultimately be murdered. Gunther: *nodding* I can see that Burt: What about me? Celci: You crave toast while taking a bath

Burt: *under his breath* I do love bath snacks

___

Celci: Dammit, Mark! Engineer Mark: What?! It wasn’t me! Celci: Wait, seriously? Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Gunther! Gunther: Not me either. Celci: Oh. . .Then who set the ship on fire? Mack, who will swear on the wormhole that he saw a spider in his cryopod: *whistles nervously*

___

Captain: There is no future. There is no past. Don’t you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that we humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet. Engineer Mark: . . . Celci: . . . Gunther: . . .

Burt: . . . 

Chica: . . .

Mack: . . . The Rest of the Invincible II Crew At The Captain’s Surprise Birthday Party: . . . Tyler, piping up: . . .All Mark asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first. . .

___

Engineer Mark: We are now one day closer to eating our next plate of nachos. Gunther: That’s. . .the most hopeful thing I've heard all week. Captain: But what if we die tomorrow and never eat any nachos? Burt: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

Celci: *shoving Burt towards the airlock* GET OUT!!!! 

___

Engineer Mark: Where do I hide?

Gunther: You don’t hide. You’re the bait. Go act. . .baity, or something

Engineer Mark: What’s the plan?

Celci: The enemies attack you.

Engineer Mark: And then what?

Mack The enemies kill you. We watch. We rejoice.

___

Gunther: I just ended a five-year relationship. . .

Engineer Mark: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, buddy! Are you okay? Gunther: Yeah? It wasn’t MY relationship

___

Engineer Mark: *looks into a nearby mirror and sighs sadly* Everyone hates the way I look. I have the sex appeal of a math textbook.

Mack: Well, that’s just completely inaccurate!

Engineer Mark: *pauses, then slowly looks at Mack* Really.  . ?

Mack: *nods* I’ve never known anyone who’s opened a math textbook without saying “fuck me”

___

Celci: I want to roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing that, my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.

___

Engineer Mark: I really hit rock bottom last night. And I mean that literally—I fell into a pit and hit a rock.

Engineer Mark: I remember lying there thinking, “There’s probably a good reason why I’m down here.”

Engineer Mark: And then I started thinking, “I need morphine”

___

Gunther: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. Celci: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice cat nap. Wug: Self care is the burning heat of rage washing over you!! Self care is when you feel bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Engineer Mark: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Mack: If you so much as touch my birthday cake before me, I’ll make you eat your hands.

___

Celci: *setting down a card* Ace of spades Engineer Mark: *pulling out an Uno card* +4 Mack: *pulling out a Pokémon card* Jolteon, I choose you Allu: *trembling* What kind of human game is this?

___

Mack: Dumbest scar stories, go! Celci: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Engineer Mark: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. Gunther: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Burt: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and got a really bad burn. Captain: . . . Captain: I have emotional scars.

___

Celci: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. Engineer Mark: What if it bites me and it dies? Mack: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Mark, learn to listen. Captain: What if it bites itself and I die? Burt: That’s voodoo. Wug: What if it bites Wug and someone else dies? Allu: That’s correlation, not causation. Bandit: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? Gunther: That’s kinky. Celci: Oh my God.

___

[The Invincible II crew is standing around a broken coffee maker]

Captain: *folds their arms across their chest, addressing the crew* So. Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone: *remains silent* . . .

Wug: *piping up, surprisingly meek* . . .Wug did. Wug broke it.

Captain: *shakes their head knowingly* No. No, you didn’t. Mark?

Engineer Mark: *holds up his hands in defense* Don’t look at me, Captain. Look at Celci.

Celci: What?! I didn’t break it!

Engineer Mark: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Celci: *raises an eyebrow* Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.

Engineer Mark: *puts his hands on his hips and squints at Celci* Suspicious.

Celci: *reasonably exasperated* No, it’s not!

Burt: If it matters, probably not, but Gunther was the last one to use it.

Gunther: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Burt: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Gunther: *flexes his hand, showing off his nicely-manicured fingernails* I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Burt!

Wug: *coming between Gunther and Burt, lightly pushing them away from one another* No fighting, humans! Wug broke it. Wug will fix it, Friend Captain.

Captain: No! Who broke it?!

Everyone: *remains silent* . . .

Gunther: *notices that Mack has just entered the room* Cap. . .Mack’s been awfully quiet.

Mack: *does a neck-snapping doubletake* rEALLY?!

[Everyone starts arguing. The fight gets louder and more out of control by the second]

Captain: *now being interviewed. The argument is still going on in the background* I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it on reflex.

Captain: *glances over their shoulder at the crew* I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig’s head on a stick.

Captain: . . .

Captain: *smiles mischievously with one eye twitching* Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

___

Captain: Time for Plan G. Wug: Don’t you mean Plan B? Captain: No, we tried Plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over Plan C due to technical difficulties. Burt: What about Plan D? Captain: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Gunther: What about Plan E? Captain: I’m hoping not to use it. Mark dies in Plan E. Celci and The Bandit: *in almost perfect unison* I like Plan E.

___

Mack: Back in college, we literally named our volleyball team “NO GAMES SCHEDULED,” because if the other team didn’t show up, they lost their league deposit and forfeited. It worked several times. Everyone hated us and nothing as cool as that has happened to me since.

Captain: . . .You’ve got real issues, man.

___

Gunther: Truth or dare? Captain: Dare Gunther: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room Captain: Hey, Mark? Engineer Mark: *blushing* Yeah? Captain: Could you move? I’m trying to get to the Bandit 

___

Captain: You can throw around all the French you want! It doesn’t make you right!

Mack: Au contraire

___

Captain: Hewwo. Engineer Mark: Hihiiiiii! Allu: Greetings, Humans. Celci: Three kinds of people. Wug: Wug want donuts. Bandit: Four kinds of people. Gunther: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS? Celci: Five kinds of people.

___

Bandit: Rules are made to be broken. Allu: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Captain: Uh, piñatas. Engineer Mark: Glow sticks. Gunther: Karate boards. Burt: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Bandit: Rules. Allu: . . .

___

Engineer Mark: *seeing how Mack manipulated and betrayed The Captain* Look at this! You played them like a fiddle!

Mack: *considers this, then shakes his head* Oh no, Mark. Fiddles are actually pretty difficult to play

Mack: I played the Captain like the cheap kazoo they were

___

Gunther: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? Celci: >:O language Wug: Yeah, human! Watch your fucking language Captain: OKAY WHO TAUGHT WUG THE FUCK WORD? Engineer Mark: 'The fuck word'. Burt: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Bandit: Oh my god they censored it Gunther: Say fuck, Burt. Engineer Mark: Do it, Burt. Say fuck.

___

Mack: Don't worry, I’ve got a plan. Captain: Alright. Mack: TraitorSayWhat? Engineer Mark: Excuse me? Mack: What? Captain: . . . Engineer Mark: . . . Mack: No wait—

___

Engineer Mark: “Smile!”

Captain: “Sweet!”

Celci: “Sister!”

Mack: “Sadistic!”

Wug: “Surprise!”

Burt: “Service!”

Gunther:  “succ” 

___

Allu: I CAN'T DO IT! Bandit: *laughing* I CAN'T EITHER! Allu: I CAN’T FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE Celci: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US. Allu: . . . Allu: I appreciate it, Allu: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH! Wug: Miss Lady— Allu: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! Mack: Look, we gotta— Allu: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. Allu: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' Allu: *motioning to The Captain and Engineer Mark* NOT FUCKING THIS!!!

___

Captain: I trust Mark. Celci: You think he knows what he’s doing? Captain: I wouldn't go that far.

___

Captain: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity? Celci: *turning to Engineer Mark* How tall are you?

___

Wug: Wug kind of crushing on someone, but Wug’s worried about telling Friend Mark who it is, because Friend Mark won’t like it Engineer Mark: Just rip the bandage off. Wug: It Friend Captain Engineer Mark: *grinding his teeth together* Put the bandage back on.

___

Engineer Mark: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Celci: Nope, absolutely not. Bandit: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through. Wug: Wug hopes it emotionally scars Hideous Human for the rest of Hideous Human’s life. Allu: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you. Ms. Whitacare: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

___

Captain: *running towards the airlock* I’m gonna jump!

Mack: Do a flip!

___

Allu: *to The Captain* The universe is in the hands of an idiot! Captain: *motioning to themself and Engineer Mark* No no no no no, TWO idiots!

___

Captain: Stressed

Celci: Depressed

Mack: Possessed

Engineer Mark: Obsessed

Allu: Unimpressed 

Wug: Chicken breast

Everyone: . . .What?

Wug: Wug just wanted to join in.

___

Bandit: Wait, hold up, why do you draw yourself like that?

Captain: Uh, like what?

Bandit: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs

Captain: This is what I look like.

Bandit: . . .

Captain: THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE!

Bandit: Okay, then I want big, beefy arms. Hot ones.

Wug: Wug wants a cowboy hat!

Captain: Okay, arms and hat *draws them*

Burt: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat, too!

Captain: You can’t just take Wug’s hat idea, Burt! They thought it up all by themself like a good person! Come up with your own thing!

Burt: BUT I WANNA LOOK COOL!

Engineer Mark: Put Celci on one of those stupid baby tricycles.

Celci: NO!!

Captain: Tricycle, done. *draws it* Gunther, want anything?

Engineer Mark: *making finger guns* Pew pew.

Captain: Another gun? That’s kind of already his thing. Gunther, do you want something different? 

Gunther: *glaring and aggressively making finger guns* PEW. PEW.

Captain: You know what? Okay *draws it* But it’s just for holding, not for shooting.

___

Mack: *standing on a chair* The floor is lava!

Burt: *helps other crew members onto the counter*

Gunther: *shoots the floor while jumping up and down*

Wug: *practically latches onto the ceiling*

Engineer Mark and Celci: *trying to shove each other off the sofa*

Captain: *lays on the floor*

Mack: . . .Captain, are you okay?

Captain: No.

___

Gunther: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost in your life.

Burt: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back. . .

Bandit and Celci: Oh, wow! My childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Engineer Mark: My will to live! I haven’t seen this in years!

Wug: Wug knew Wug left that potential somewhere!

Captain: Mental stability, my old friend!

Gunther: Jesus, you guys need to lighten up already

___

Engineer Mark: Is it still visible? Where Celci slapped me?

Mack: Your face looks like a “Don’t Walk” signal

Burt: Your face looks like a photo negative for the Hamburger Helper mascot.

Bandit: A palm reader could tell Celci’s future by looking at your face.

Gunther: The phrase, “Talk to the hand cuz’ the face ain’t listenin’” doesn’t work for you right now, because the hand is your face.

Engineer Mark: . . .A simple “yes” would’ve sufficed.

___

Gunther: If you put “violently” in front of everything to describe your action, it becomes funnier!

Celci: Violently studies

Burt: Violently sleeps

Wug: Violently orders food

Captain: Violently slips into existential crisis over an endless cycle of increasingly-specific choices offered by too many timelines to keep track of, because APPARENTLY life wasn’t already meaningless enough. 

Captain: Oh, and violently succumbs to depression and madness due to possibility of killing innocent people because another version of you decided to use boredom and curiosity as an excuse to stop caring about basic morality.

Everyone: . . .

Engineer Mark: Violently worries about the previous statement

___

Captain: *dies*

Narrator: Timer starts now! When are they coming bacK? I say two months!

Eldritch Plier: Bullshit. One month.

Bandit: Nah, half a month

Literally everyone else on the Invincible II: *sobbing* WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! THE CAPTAIN JUST DIED!

Engineer Mark: *scratching his chin in thought* One week.

___

Captain: The Bandit kissed me!

Engineer Mark: *slack-jawed, eyes twitching* Oh my God.

Captain: *completely oblivious* It was unbelievable!

Engineer Mark: *getting noticeably choked-up* Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God—

Celci: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Mark, get the wine and unplug the phone. 

Mack: Captain, does this end well, or do we need tissues?

Captain: Oh, it ended very well.

Engineer Mark: *gritting his teeth and blinking back tears* Do not start without me. . .

Celci: Alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips, or was it like a, y’know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?

Captain: Well, at first it was really intense, y’know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Mack: Ohh. . .So, okay, was she holding you? Or were her hands on your back?

Captain: First she started out on my waist, and then her hands slipped up and then were in my hair.

Celci and Mack: Ohhh.

[Meanwhile, elsewhere on the Invincible II]

Bandit: *eating some glowing alien pizza from the intergalactic fast food place* And, uh. . .then I kissed them.

Wug: Tongue?

Bandit: Yeah.

Wug: Cool.

___

Allu: Wow, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?

Captain, watching Gunther screaming at nothing, Engineer Mark trying to set a sleeping Celci on fire, and Burt choking on air: I don’t know either.

___

Captain: What if the person who named Walkie-Talkies named everything?

Gunther: Pregnancy tests would be Maybe-Babies

Engineer Mark: Socks would be Feetie-Heaties

Bandit: Defibrillators would be Heartie-Starties

Wug: Nightmares would be Dreamy-Screamies

Burt: Stamps would be Lickie-Stickies

Celci: I hate you guys so much.

___

Mack: *teleports behind The Captian* I like ya cut, G

Mack: *dropkicks The Captain into the dungeon*

[SLAP]

[shinsouskitten]

Hi, so I just read your Bakugou NSFW alphabet, and I was wondering could you do one for Karma Akabane? There's a lack of content for him on Tumblr in general compared to Bakugou and I'm THIRSTY.

ME TOO HONEY. love me some sadistic redhead moments

also sorry for this being like RLLY late 😔 i hope you're not too dehydrated

Warnings: nsfw, mdni, this one is dirty

---

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Okay hear me out. He’s kinda shit at aftercare. He tries, bless him, but he’s just not really a nice guy (I love the guy but c’mon). Likely the most you’ll get is half a glass of water he forgot was on his bedside table and a towel to clean yourself off. At least, that’s all you’ll get while you’re awake. Once you’re asleep he’ll clean you properly (as well as he can without waking you up) and make sure you’re lying comfortably so you don’t wake up too stiff

There’s been the occasional time when you’ve passed out from how hard you came and he’s just kinda stared at you for a moment before making sure you’re okay (and alive) then just lay there stroking your hair until you come (no pun intended) back to him

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

He likes his hands, especially around your throat or gripping your hips like a vice as he completely ruins you. Something makes me think Karma is a neck guy, cause he can cover them with hickies that you can’t hope to hide unless you have some really good concealer. He’s a bit of a vampire

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Everywhere and anywhere. Karma loves to make a mess, and then constantly tell you how dirty you are and demand that you clean yourself up. One of his favorite moments is after he cums inside you, and warns you not to waste a single drop. If you do, oh boy, I guess he’ll just have to fill you up again

D = Dirty secret (pretty clear, a dirty secret of theirs)

Karma doesn’t really have any dirty secrets. If he wants to try something out, he’ll tell you. Really he’s shameless. He’s not gonna hide anything from you, even the darkest thoughts born from his deepest depravity

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not many people would be able to go a night with Karma, cause he can get a little intense, so before you he’s not incredibly experienced. He’s not a virgin by any means, but he hasn’t had the chance to try out most of the crazy things he wants to try. So for the most part he knows what he’s doing, but when it gets to the really fun stuff… well it’ll be a learning curve for the both of you

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Karma doesn’t really have a favorite position, simply because you never stay in one for long enough

G = Goofy (how serious are they in the moment?)

If you whine, or beg, he will laugh at you (the low chuckle 😩). This dude just really enjoys mocking you, but he’s still very serious about pleasuring you

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Tbh he doesn’t really put too much effort into grooming. Mostly he’ll just try to keep it trimmed, and occasionally he’ll shave. Don’t worry tho, even though he doesn’t groom like crazy, he still keeps everything clean

I = Intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment?)

He’s a fucking sadist. Don’t expect him to kiss your forehead and shower you with rose petals cause that’s just not Karma. This man will fuck you until you’re drooling and shaking and unable to talk with absolutely no remorse

J = Jack off (what are their views on masturbation?)

Honestly likes it a little too much. Is there such a thing as a masturbation addiction, cause if so, Karma has it. He has an incredibly high drive, and you’re not always there (or able to keep up with him) so if the dick goes up, the hand goes down

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He puts the S in BDSM

L = Location (favorite places to do the dance with no pants)

Once again, anywhere and everywhere. He’s also not shy about being caught

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going, etc)

When you talk back to him. Did someone say brat tamer?

N = No (turn offs, something they wouldn’t do)

He’ll try anything once, so don’t be shy to suggest something. This man is truly depraved, so anything you could think of, he’s thought of worse

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

Receiving, 100% receiving. And he’s not gentle either. Get ready for a face fucking cause he will use you until he’s satisfied. If he’s going down on you, it’s because he wants to overstimulate you and see those pretty little tears run down your cheeks

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He will break your back. ‘Nuff said

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)

Karma looooooooves quickies, especially in public. There’s something about being so needy that you just can’t wait and the thrill and risk of being caught by unsuspecting onlookers

R = Risk (how risky are they willing to be?)

He once fucked you through a midnight showing of Fifty Shades of Gray, as a demonstration that that movie knows nothing about the real good stuff (his words). Surprisingly, no one in the cinema caught on to what was happening in the back seats, and even if they heard something, they most likely ignored it as part of the film. So yeah, he’s down for some risk

S = Stamina (how long do they last? how many rounds?)

It just doesn’t stop. Like- HOW CAN ONE PERSON HAVE SO MUCH STAMINA?! TF?! If you’re not literally shaking he’s not stopping (unless you ask him too of course, he may be an ass but he’s not a completely terrible person)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them on a partner or themselves?)

Oh my. If it exists, he has it. And he’s not shy about trying toys on himself either. He’s very open to new things so it’s not uncommon that you come home to find three new boxes on the kitchen counter and Karma standing over them with a maniacal grin

U = Unfair (how much do they tease?)

Dude. It’s Karma

V = Volume (how they sound, how loud they are, etc)

A small groan here and there, but most of the volume coming from your bedroom will be your own screams. The neighbors know his name, they’ve heard it so much it’d be impossible not to. He uses a fair amount of dirty talk, but he keeps most of his own sounds quiet. He wants to hear your voice, not his own

W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

Now cause it’s not technically a dirty secret I left this one until now. One time he had a dream where you topped him and he woke up harder than he’s ever been in his life. He’s way too proud to ever admit wanting to see you take the lead, but if you surprise him and steal the reins, he may just protest a little less

X = X-ray (let’s have a looksee in those pants)

Mini Karma stands tall at a good 7 inches. He’s slightly leaner than average, but there’s a slight curve that has him drilling into your sweet spot with each and every thrust

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

You know Mt Everest? Yeah? Keep going up

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

With his stamina levels it’s highly unlikely he’d fall asleep before you. There’s been the occasional time when you’ve passed out from how hard you came and he’s just kinda stared at you for a moment before making sure you’re still alive

[frogtanii]

tw. serious self loathing

kenma hated hospitals.

the cold sterile air, the incessant beeping of machines, the loud voices of the doctors — mix it all together and you get the perfect recipe for kicking up kenma’s anxiety.

it was bad enough, what with you being the one in the hospital bed, tied up to all those machines but all the other more extraneous details certainly didn’t help.

kenma’s eyes darted around the white hallway, his knee bouncing erratically as he tried to listen in through the door at what the doctor was saying. earlier, when he had tried to follow behind the rest of the house members to get your diagnosis, he was stopped by kuroo’s hand on his chest and a sad shake of his head.

he’d made his way back to the cold, unforgiving seats lining the hall right outside your room and attempted to overhear, something, anything, that would abate his anxieties.

unfortunately, the conversation was over before kenma could glean anything of substance, the door swinging open as the doctor exited, the atmosphere left in the room being tense and uncomfortable.

kenma quickly stood to his feet, glancing from face to face to discern some kind of news, be it good or bad. “w-what— is she okay? what’s going on?” as much as he willed it not to shake, his voice cracked in the middle of his sentence, his fear for you clearly bleeding into his words.

at the sound of his broken voice, all heads in the room turned towards him. he scanned all their faces but his eyes were stuck on atsumu’s, his own burning with a righteous fury.

before kenma could blink, atsumu was on him, shoving him up against the wall while pressing an arm against his chest. the thumping in kenma’s chest intensified, his eyes widening in dread as his breathing quickened.

he could faintly hear the sounds of protests from the other house members and off-duty nurses but they were swiftly becoming drowned out by the blood and static rushing in his ears.

“atsumu. step down.” sakusa gritted before yanking atsumu off of kenma, allowing kenma to collapse onto the floor. the residual adrenaline and anxiety came to the point they were overwhelming, his breath coming in short pants as he tears leaked from his eyes.

“i-i’m sorry, ‘m sorry, ‘m sorry, i didn’t know, thought that it would be ok, thought she would be okay but she’s not, oh god this is all my fault, i’m sorry, m sorry,” his words came out like a broken faucet before he couldn’t stop them, his arms wrapping around himself as he rolled into the fetal position, determined to erase himself from his surroundings.

a presence appeared in front of him, crouching down and grabbing his hands before where they were digging into his skin, cradling them gently within their own. “hey bud,” bokuto said kindly, a big smile on his face despite the circumstances. “breathe with me, ok?”

kenma nodded before matching bokuto’s exaggerated breathing, in and out, in and out, until his heartbeat was finally back to normal and he didn’t feel like he was going to collapse. “you wanna tell us what happened?”

he firmly kept his gaze on bokuto, determined not to look at everyone else’s scared, angry, or hurt expressions as he explained himself. “i-i saw yn g-go to the bathroom and it was fine because o-of course it was but then i s-saw meiko follow and it d-didn’t register? it happened so f-fast and then i got distracted and it e-escaped my mind until y-you guys brought it up. i j-just— i didn’t think m-meiko was gonna do anything. we were in public and—“

“that won’t stop her.” kenma chanced a look at suga who was the one who spoke, his eyes downcast and stormy with anger and... sadness?. “you didn’t know and that’s whatever, but meiko is fucking crazy. never underestimate her again.” he warned with a grave tone. all kenma could do was nod, a fresh wave of tears coming to his eyes.

“‘m sorry,” he whimpered, his gaze falling upon the white lines on his suit pants. the group let out hums of acknowledgment before falling back into a tense silence, the only sounds coming from the hospital around them.

it didn’t last very long.

“yn! yn!” a deep masculine voice rang from the entrance of the hospital, followed by a quieter platitude and then a host of shushes from the nurse on the floor. the taller man with dark hair managed to lock eyes with kenma, his body moving quickly until he was right in front of the group.

“i need to see her. now.” the man’s voice was dark and menacing but kenma was the only one who seemed to shrink at the sound, the others sizing the outsider up and glaring him down. atsumu waved them away before bringing the pair into a hug, the shorter pink-haired man sighing deeply into the embrace.

atsumu exchanged short “pleasantries” with the two newcomers before turning towards your door wistfully. “uh, ya will be able ta see her soon enough but her throat is fucked pretty badly. she’s asleep right now but doc says she won’t be able to talk for at least a week.”

kenma’s heart caught in his throat. you wouldn’t be able to speak?? because of him?? the thought made him clam back up, his dark hair spilling over his shoulders to shield him from the rest of the hall. he could hear more voices, a door clicking open, a soft gasp, and a growled threat but he was too strung up to focus any more than that.

my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault, played over and over on repeat in his mind, his inner demons taunting him for ruining your life. you would never forgive him, never lay your eyes upon him again without showing disgust and disdain. it was what he deserved, especially after the hell he put you through, no matter how much it hurt.

he faintly recognized at some point in his self loathing, that he was moving somewhere with the group, their hands on him as though they were leading him someplace, not that it mattered.

kenma already knew he was a horrible waste of space and this cemented it for him. but, his mind so helpfully offered, even if you are a piece of shit, you can still do something, something big. make meiko pay for how she hurt you and suga and the rest of them.

oh, he was going to do something alright. he was going to do something so large, so enormous that meiko’s reputation could never, ever recover.

kenma was absolutely going to get his revenge. not for him, no, he could care less about himself. no, he would do it for you and all those who had suffered by her hand.

after all, it was the very least he could do.

℗ poker face

the least he could do

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - i feel so horrible today so i don’t have much to write here??? KJSSN ty for reading n don’t forget to feed me <333

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