#tw toxic people

[gloomydiary]

I hate everything and want to disappear

[flwrkid14]

A Love That Hurts: Tim and Danny’s Toxic Tango

It didn’t start like this.

In the beginning, their love had been easy. They found comfort in each other—a soft place to land when the rest of the world felt too sharp. Tim loved Danny’s laugh, the way it lit up a room even when everything else felt dark. Danny adored Tim’s quiet strength, the way he always seemed to know how to pick up the pieces.

For a while, they were each other’s saving grace. Tim helped Danny feel grounded, giving him the stability he hadn’t known since Amity Park became more battlefield than home. Danny made Tim feel alive, like he wasn’t just another cog in the Bat-machine—like he was someone worth loving.

But that kind of love is hard to hold onto when you don’t know how to nurture it.

------------------------

The cracks started small: an offhand comment here, a tense silence there. They chalked it up to stress, but the arguments began to escalate, unraveling the love they’d built. Neither of them knew how to fix it, so they didn’t try.

One fight bled into another. Danny’s voice was sharp. “They’re my friends, Tim. Something you’d know about if you still talked to yours. When was the last time you even answered Cassie or Steph? You’re too busy trying to fix things that don’t need fixing.”

Tim didn’t hesitate. “And when was the last time Val actually came through for you? She’s got her own problems—why does she need to patrol with you? Are you just keeping her around for the nostalgia? Or are you afraid of letting her go?”

Danny’s lips curled into a bitter smile. “Right, because you’re the expert on letting go. How many of Kon’s clones are you going to try to ‘save’ before you realize it’s never going to bring him back?”

Tim flinched, his voice low and venomous. “At least I don’t run back to my exes when I feel like I’m losing control. What’s next, Danny? You calling Sam and Tucker to bail you out?”

Danny laughed, hollow and sharp. “You really think I need them? I’m here, Tim. With you. Maybe if you spent less time in your spreadsheets, you’d see that.”

The fights always ended the same: one of them storming off, slamming doors, followed by hours of silence. When they apologized, it wasn’t about fixing anything—just avoiding another explosion.

Neither could admit the truth: they weren’t protecting each other—they were just too afraid to let go

------------------------

Danny didn’t just distance Tim from his friends; he actively cut them out. He deleted Cassie’s texts before Tim could see them, until eventually, she stopped trying. When Tim noticed, Danny shrugged. “She’s probably busy,” he said casually, though his tone left no room for argument.

Tim didn’t push. After all, he wasn’t innocent. When Val invited Danny to patrol with her, Tim was quick to sow doubt. “You really think Amity Park can’t survive one night without you? Or is it just about her? Seems like you don’t trust me to be enough.”

Danny hesitated, his frustration visible, but he stayed. Over time, Val’s invitations stopped, and Danny didn’t ask why.

------------------------

Sam and Tucker’s visit to Gotham was no different. Danny had been excited to see them, but when the weekend came, Tim hit a low point.

“Do you really need to see them right now?” Tim asked, his voice soft but pointed. “It’s been rough lately. I thought you’d want to focus on us.”

Danny faltered, guilt creeping in. “They already planned the trip…”

“And what about me?” Tim pressed, his voice taking on an edge. “Am I supposed to just sit here and wait while you run back to them? Is that what this is?”

Danny canceled the plans. He didn’t explain, just sent Sam a curt text: Can’t make it. Something came up. He ignored the flood of concerned messages that followed, shoving his phone into a drawer.

When Tim noticed the tension, he didn’t comment. Instead, he doubled down. “You’re better off without them. They don’t understand this life. Not like I do.”

Danny nodded, even as the distance from Sam and Tucker grew into something he didn't know how to bridge.

Tim wasn’t immune to Danny’s tactics either. Bruce invited Tim to family dinner, but Danny’s reaction was immediate. “You’re seriously going to leave me here? After everything?” he asked, his tone more accusation than question.

“It’s just dinner,” Tim said weakly, but Danny’s narrowed eyes stopped him.

“Right. And how long before you’re ‘just’ staying overnight at the Manor? Before Bruce drags you back into his plans? You think they care about you? They care about what you can do for them.”

Tim stayed, sending Bruce a quick excuse. When Dick called the next day, Tim brushed him off with a clipped, “Busy.” Danny noticed the tension but said nothing, a smug satisfaction flickering in his eyes when Tim didn’t bring up the family again.

When Damian later referred to Tim as “too busy playing house,” Danny felt a pang of guilt that he quickly buried under pride. At least Tim was his, now.

------------------------

They were each other’s shields against the world, but it came at a cost.

Danny missed Sam and Tucker fiercely but couldn’t bring himself to reach out, not when Tim would undoubtedly notice. Tim felt the growing distance from the Bats like a weight he couldn’t shake, but he didn’t try to repair it—not when Danny so clearly needed him more.

The truth was simple and ugly: they weren’t protecting each other. They were controlling each other.

Danny missed the Tim who made him feel safe. Tim missed the Danny who didn’t flinch at “I love you.” But neither of them could stop. Because if Sam and Tucker weren’t there for Danny, and the Bats weren’t there for Tim, they only had each other.

And maybe that was the point.

[rotting-bitch]

we are drowning in information but starved for knowledge

[writingquestionsanswered]

I was the toxic friend anon. Thank you! I've been going through therapy about what happened when I was younger and revisiting that just reminded me how I wish someone told middle school me she was a bad friend.

I think sometimes people don't realize it. From the outside, it can be difficult to see what's going on inside the friendship. Especially when the toxic person is good at hiding what they're doing or the behavior is normalized in some way. I'm just glad you got out of that friendship and are talking to someone about it. I hope writing your story will provide some healing and closure for you as well. ♥

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[gloomydiary]

life is overwhelming me

[its-just-me5]

They always say they would never leave, but in the end they aways do.

[beifong-brainrot]

Also Opal version of this because she's so baby sapphic coded for no reason.

Ref

[uncanny-tranny]

If you ever come across somebody who has lost a child but who still has other children, I am begging you not to say, "you might have lost a child, but at least you have others!"

It isn't comforting to be told that children are interchangeable, insignificant, and replaceable. It's not comforting a grieving family to be told that their loved one's memory is worthless because it can be replaced; it doesn't help the surviving children or the parent/s.

[our-arospec-experience]

I think I'm like genuinely platonically obsessed with my irl bestie and what sucks is their partners seem to see me as some sort of romantic rival when in reality I just wanna hangout with them and chill :[ My bestie literally had to lie and say I was in an online qpr (im 100% non partnering) to calm one of her partners down ://// im doomed

I'm so sorry to hear that anon!!

[rotting-bitch]

how can we talk when I have no voice and you have no ears?

[dykedvonte]

what do you think Danse does to keep himself busy after blind betrayal, specifically if he's living in sanctuary? I just love your takes on him a lot haha

I think Danse is very lost in any settlement but especially Sanctuary. It was the first and very close-knit at that with the small group the Sole Survivor founded it with. Each time they would invite a new companion to live there it was like adding a pillar to the community and represented what the Minute Men stood for when it came ot uniting and protecting the commonwealth as one. I am not going to say it's cliquey, in fact I feel like SoSu and Preston/Sturges would go out of their way to make newcomers feel welcome but for Danse that is very different.

He (from my playthrough experience) is one of the later companions. I ran around a lot and got a good portion of the companions and their quest before act one was done. He is also one of the few companions who openly thinks lowly of life in the commonwealth and certain citizens (if not all citizens to an extent). He did not introduce himself to Sanctuary to make friends or roots. So when he gets stuck there under the SoSu's "orders" (not letting him rot in sorrow in some random bunker) he doesn't have any comfort or companionship, in fact, I think he has more tensions and beef tbh.

I imagine the first weeks or even a month or two were rough. I don't think it is stated enough that like Danse went to that bunker intending to follow Brotherhood protocols and kill himself. SoSu may have convinced him not to in the moment but with someone like Danse, so rigid and stuck in an ideology even after it spits in his face, it's not unlikely he has a weird guilt about being alive at first. It doesn't help that I know in my heart that a few of the more petty or insensitive companions or settlers would tease him about it (playful meanness) thinking he was adjusting well (or not caring) to the Sanctuary life and coming to terms with his identity. Sometimes they go too far and it's easy to tell he's gotten back into the headspace, looking at his reflection, trying to remember concrete dates for his memories, etc..

I have this head canon that SoSu recognized this pattern as they had to have immense survivor's guilt (especially after being in Kellogs brain) about surviving the vault. They had the same idea about making things "fair" for the other vault dwellers and Shaun was the only thing between them and those thoughts for a while. For the first weeks it was a lot of SoSu monitoring him and making sure he was adjusting and not falling back into that thinking, y'know the whole "I am a disgrace and abomination against the Brotherhood and humanity. The only thing I can do to no longer sully the honor of either is to kill mys-" Like stopping that with minor distractions.

It would be a lot of small work and building projects and patrols for lost scavengers or to make sure no one is stalking the place. It's nice for him for a while, he's getting social interaction and he's not dead in the eyes of at least one Brotherhood member, especially one of as high rank as the SoSu. But it's also really unhealthy. Danse was trained and raised in a militaristic pseudo-religious faction. As much as there seemed to be casualness towards comrades there was a strict structure and order. He shoves the SoSu into that role and probably gets nick-named as their shadow during this period.

They are his only goal as he has nothing else and it shows bad. The rest of the settlement notices he trails after them and only really does his own thing when it's part of a task he was doing for, with or assigned by the Sole survivor. It's not an obsession with them specifically but he has lost his entire understanding of life and this is the one thing that stayed concrete. He does what he's asked of because following the Sole survivor has at least kept him belonging somewhere and why mess that up?

I am sure SoSu is not oblivious and is actively trying to figure out how to get Danse to start socializing and trying to actually settle into the community but for the time being Danse would treat himself like the machine he perceives himself as; Overworking himself as he believes machines don't need the same amount of rest, isolating himself and mostly trying to not have a mental breakdown every time he get into the power armor that is very much not his issued Brotherhood of Steel tech. He openly does this in respect of the General who hates it and makes everyone else uncomfortable.

this was very long just to say I think Danse just works himself to the bone all day and purposely puts thoughts in his already fragile psyche that everyone hates him and only tolerates his presence to not seem Synth-phobic and the Sole survivor's favor.

[sassywiththesas]

Staying up late talking with you.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

when i first started getting into queer fiction, the most common complaint i saw was that most queer media were heavily sexualized, fetishized or straight up romanticizing abuse and SA.

and now that we have more healthy relationships in queer media, people suddenly want the sexualized and toxic mess. sigh.

[ouidepressoespresso]

and when I cut all contact, I hope you realize what you’ve done.

[wc-confessions]

Unless it's something like abusing a real person, (no, problematic art or writing doesn't count, because there are fifty different definitions of problematic and some of them include Firesand so I don't really trust the fandom to not suicide bait a minor), we shouldn't be publicly shaming people. As a fandom we are far too toxic and discourse happy to be able to do that with any confidence.

putting this here beforehand just in case:

tw - brief grooming + zoophilia mention (i don't go into details, don't worry)

anon, i understand the vague idea of what you are trying to say but this mindset is incredibly harmful. children (and the book series *is* aimed at children so they make up a large portion of the fandom) should not be exposed to things like nsfw art/fan content.

if someone is out there making weird nsfw/incest/harmful content, you shouldn't just ignore it. it isn't toxic to call out people like that, it's a responsible thing to do. the idea that all content is ok unless it's hurting someone irl is insane.

"problematic" art and writing *can* be used as a tool to harm people too. groomers frequently use things like that to coax their victims into thinking that sort of thing is normal. this fandom is full of zoophiles and groomers, we don't need to make this easier for them by just... letting these things slide.

like i said, i understand what you are trying to say about toxic behaviour in the fandom, but calling out creeps and weirdos is, in fact, not toxic.

~ mod lichenbark

[nicasdreamer]

A message about toxicity in fandoms

I’m so tired of hearing people call a fandom toxic for the wrong reasons. When most people say this, they don’t mean it’s toxic because the piece of media they love has harmful/negative messages in it that is imitated or listened to. No, they meant to say that it becomes toxic because of us, the fans.

A fandom only earns that title because of the actions by a small group of fans. From constant infighting to adult fans grooming minors, that’s what easily tears a fandom apart. Their actions leave a negative mark in the fandom, and in turn, pushes away new people who potentially wanted to join but got scared off because they heard more about the negatives then the positives of the community.

A lot of fans don’t realize how much their behaviors and choices can impact the reputation of the material they’re a fan of. It’s gets less known for its actual content and more known for it’s fandom. Like how BNHA/MHA is more infamous for some of the fans behavior than the actual stuff in the manga/anime.

We need to just stop this behavior, especially the smaller fandoms. All of this toxicity is the reason people leave fandoms!

If you have problems with someone on here and decide to make a call out post about them, please make sure it’s to address ACTUAL problematic fans (Ex: Groomers, Abusers, Toxic fans harassing others).

If you just don’t like them for reasons not serious enough for others to be concerned about then block, mute, and ignore anymore interactions with them. No need to call out someone if the situation between you two can be easily settled in private. Be more mature about your problems instead of continuously making yourself look bad.

Keep making enemies out of those around you and you’ll never find true happiness with others.

Don’t let the actions of a few people leave a bad impression of the fandom towards you! Be positive! Show off the good side! Be friendly and inviting towards old and new fans! We’re suppose to be a community that’s nice to eachother and enjoying the piece of media we love, not a community that gossips and hurts eachother!

PLEASE…..Just be respectful and empathetic towards eachother.