#sometimes yes id like to imagine i am all those things

[judesficrecs]

why is she so me

I don’t really have a request I just love anything you write💗 maybe something with girly!reader?

thanks lovely💗

Spencer wrings his hands behind his back, shifting from one foot to the other unhappily. He hasn't felt this nervous since he was young —his PhDs have acted as a shield for years now. Even if he doesn't know what to do, he physically cannot be stupid. 

He feels pretty stupid. Less when you look up, smile blinding and sticky with gloss. He's thought about how it would feel to kiss you before and he tries desperately to push the thought away now, his hands shaking where they're hidden. 

"Hey, Spencer Reid," you say, lightly teasing as you wave him toward you. "How are you?" 

"I'm good." 

"Yeah?" You gesture at the empty seat in front of you. "Are you having lunch?" 

The bureau cafeteria is less of a cafeteria in the kitchen sense and more of a staff room, though hot food is served at the very back. There are couches toward the patio of an outdoor area to the left. You sit at one of the tables near the doors. The air is cold around his ankles as he sits with you. 

"No, I– I came down for coffee, but the jug is empty." It's a bad lie. Luckily you have no idea that there's a kitchen in the BAU offices. "You're not?" 

You turn your laptop screen to him. "I ate my lunch at my desk. I'm just catching up with my show." Your laptop has stickers around the screen, silver shiny stars and tiny pink hearts that look like they're made of jelly. There's a closed bottle of nail polish resting near the keyboard. "And I'm gonna touch up my nails, too. They're always chipping." 

"They look perfect to me," Spencer says. 

You beam at him, beatific, so, so pretty, he could die. He might. "Thanks, honey. You'd look cute with painted nails, have you ever thought about it?" 

Spencer honestly forgets about his nails. He should take better care of them. He thinks about hiding them under the desk. "I don't think I could do it." 

"No one's good at it, at first. I'd paint them for you, if you wanted. I have a couple of things in my bag." 

Spencer's relieved to present freshly trimmed nails to you for painting. Your polish is a light blue colour, milky, and he assumes it'll be the one you use on him, but you decide to ruin his life, taking his hand into one of yours. You hold his fingers in a way that presents the nail as you brush cuticle oil around the edges of his nails with a small pen brush. You chatter as you do in your way, all sweet and gentle in mirror of your touch. 

He's proud of himself for keeping his cool. To have you touching him for so long, so kindly, to have your attention, it has him squirming with a mixture of pleasure and horror. He wants to be seen by you but he doesn't know if he likes what you're looking at. 

"You have really lovely hands," you say, using the tip of one of your nails to scrape stray wet polish off of his skin, "do you play piano?" 

"You can tell?" he asks. 

"Pianist's fingers," you say. "That's a thing, isn't it?" 

"I haven't played much since I was younger. I got distracted by other stuff." 

"Maths," you surmise. "And criminology?" 

Everything. He pushed away a want for human connection with books and education until it got too much. Even the wisest of honeybees will brave heavy rain for a beautiful flower, and that's sort of how he feels about you. He knows it's stupid, knows it's doomed, but he couldn't not try to speak to you. You're the prettiest girl he's ever seen, all your lip colours and shimmery eyeshadows, the chirpy way you talk, the earnestness of your please and thank yous. 

Your hands. The silver ring on your index finger dotted with tiny pink stones. Your bracelets. The smell of your perfume and your soft sweaters. 

"Done," you announce, an uncharacteristic hesitance to your tone. "Are they okay?" 

You've done a perfect job. "They're so neat. Thank you. I– I love it." 

Your eyes linger on his hands. "I love when guys wear nail polish. You're even handsomer now, it's crazy. I didn't know it was possible." 

Spencer should have more style for sure, but he asks you to dinner right then and there. 

You smile until the lashes kiss in the corners of your eyes and say yes. This new place opened just around the corner from your apartment, and you've been trying to drum up the courage to ask him all week. When Spencer hears that he almost passes out. 

[mournings-stars]

i loved the adam with a fat!reader 🥹 so cute, id love to see lucifer with a reader similar? like maybe shorter like him and a bit on the chubby side 🙏

AHHH THATS SO CUTE

imagine you’re like a chef or baker or something, maybe hellborn, maybe a sinner, and you meet him at an event that he’s just required to go to, so he’s staying by the catering tables and just busying himself with food so he doesn’t have to talk to anyone

“i know it’s a buffet, darlin’, but you’re milking my lil’ supply dry.” and imagine you have the cutest lil accent like maybe it’s southern if you’re hellborn or soft, 50’s movie-type transatlantic if you’re a sinner (i kinda wanna write this now actually so tell me what u prefer…)

first he’d look up, just expecting you to be taller than him, but then he’d look down and see you and immediately try to hand his plate back because how could he take your business for granted when you’re standing right in front of his and so sweet… and beautiful — like he’s not blind, he can see that you’re gorgeous. and if he’s honest the food isn’t good enough to get so many plates, but your restaurant would certainly be popular when you’re the precious little face of it

but he has to stop himself because his thoughts are certainly bordering on rude now, so he’s scrambling to apologize like, “i’m sorry — i see why your food’s so popular now, HAHA, you’re gorgeous — i mean, your food is amazing, but—“

“but?” and then he just shuts up. “no keep going, but what, your majesty?” and he is fumbling, because he can’t tell you he thinks the food is mediocre when he’s been shoving it down his throat all night, but then you say, “i know it’s not my best; they had me here last minute, frettin’ over twenty trays each of my best dishes, which can’t be the best if they’re repeated twenty times,” and even though you’re talking on and on, he’s listening and nodding on and on because because you’re just speaking to him so naturally

“am i talking to much?” “yes — i mean, no! i could listen to you talk all night!”

the rest is literally history, like you tell him to come to your restaurant to see what your cooking is really like, and when he finds out its just a small little restaurant with a couple tables and an old kitchen, he’s amazed because it tastes even better than it did at the event

once he decides to ask you out, and he decides quick, he knows he can’t ask you out to eat, or to an event, or to his house, or to the movies, or—

“you wanna get somethin’ to eat sometime?” and you’re literally asking him before he can even think to ask. “maybe you could cook for me?” you suggest slyly and he’s too flustered to say anything so he just nods. “i’ll make sure i dress fancy for you then, majesty.” and this man is MELTING

and if there’s one thing he learns about you that night its that you are not insecure about anything — your first conversation of you doubting your cooking skills might’ve made him think otherwise, but now he knows it’s just not the case

and you have no reason to be insecure; about your cooking, about anything — hell, you look amazing all dolled up just to come to his home for his 8-minute spaghetti… at least he made homemade meatballs. and those were pretty good! you even complimented them, which gave him a very much needed ego boost to get through the night confidently

and when his confidence finally shows, you’re sure he’s what you want, so you don’t bother taking your time with leading up to kisses or anything past that. you take what you want, with permission, and give him what he wants

and he loves it about you, like, you’re so sure of yourself, confident, and carry yourself with so much charm that people just step out of your way, even with your short stature, which he also loves about you — it’s nice having someone shorter around for once, but he’d definitely shape-shift and let himself be shorter than you for a day or so if you wanted

along those lines, he would give you any and everything you wanted. even if you didn’t ask, he’d give it to you — he’ll get you a new restaurant, new equipment, appliances… hell, he’ll even get you a new apartment… that is, if you don’t move in with him

and he would ask, a million times he’d ask because he just loves being with you that much. whenever you come over, or he goes to your place, he’s stuck to you. he watches you cook, helps if you let him — he bakes! he can bake, but of course he finds out you can too, and he insists you’re much better, but you insist that you do it together since this was much less dangerous than letting him rummage through your spice cabinet

if he’s not helping you, he’s hugging you from behind and watching what you do, hands running all over you, feeling the soft plush of your thighs and hips, your stomach, anything you’ll let him touch which he kisses your cheeks and neck and shoulders — literally anything you’ll let him do because he just loves listening to your precious laughter as he loves on you, or your sighs when he marks your neck or shoulder

this man LOVES lying with his head on your lap or in between your thighs. literally anything to do with your thighs or resting his head on your stomach, like, he’s fully back in heaven

he also loves you on top of him, straddling him while you comb your fingers through his hair, legs across his lap as you read, cuddled up to him as you watch a movie or sleep, he can’t get enough of you

and don’t get me started on the nsfw like… head between your legs all fucking day, squeeze his head with your thighs — like actually do it because he will come undone

[couldtransitionsaveher]

EMIL SINCLAIR from LIMBUS COMPANY

JUSTIFICATION:

"The unhatched egg metaphors. The constant anxiety and insecurity. The Zwei ID art where she looks like a gay librarian. The scene in Hell's Chicken where Ryoshu's team is all women oh and Sinclair too. The cute little Faelantern dress... it is my belief that Sinclair will only reach full self-actualization once she realizes she's a girl. This goes for the Sinclair from Demian (1919) too but I don't know as much about that one." - Anonymous

"okay. where the hell do I start.

Sinclair (Limbus Company) is based directly off of Sinclair (Demian - this will come up in a minute), and is a largely withdrawn, melancholic "boy" whose associated imagery is an egg and breaking out of a shell (again - more in a minute), and characters comment sometimes that she seems like she has an inner turmoil/darkness to her. a couple of her outfits just straight up look like mid-transition fits. her appearance in the album art for the song used in her chapter (itself based on the painting described below) is one of the most #girl things imaginable Sinclair from the source text (Demian)

1. struggles with her parents' expectations for her, and her increasing betrayal of those expectations (leading to such lines as "-at times I didn't want the Prodigal Son to repent and be found again. But one didn't dare think this, much less say it out loud.")

2. becomes friends with Demian who, aside from representing a more nuanced take on the black/white logic of point 1, Sinclair regularly remarks how cool it is that Demian's face is kinda feminine

3. begins to view herself as destined to live between two worlds, the light and the dark, human and inhuman, and, interestingly, "man and woman in one flesh". for all this is treated as a fear it's also explicitly stated to be something she desires

4. stops and thinks one day in college "perhaps I am not like other men?"

5. sees some random pretty girl one day and decides the concept of that pretty girl must be the path to return to the world of light/salvation. she learns to paint just to paint this girl and doesn't get it perfectly accurate but is pleased nonetheless. she becomes obsessed with this painting and stares at it while falling asleep before eventually realizes that the painting actually resembles herself, not as she feels she is but "-what determined [her] life, it was [her] inner self, [her] fate ... what the woman [she] would love would look like if ever [she] were to love one. That's what [her] life and death would be like..." - she eventually burns the painting and eats the ashes, y'know normal "girl who hasn't realized it yet" behavior

6. throughout the entire book she has visions relating to and is tied to imagery of eggs and birds escaping their shells to take flight" - Anonymous

Reminder: Submissions are always open! Submit here!

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[moonlight-sonata99]

Walk The Line

No.3

Carmen Berzatto x reader

A/n: is really a chapter to establish readers relationships:] it was fun. I wanted to try to capture the chaos of The Bear. Keyword being tried.

No.1 No.2

6 am

"Holy shit guys I'm sorry I'm so late, carm.." you say running to the kitchen and stuffing your things into the as you kept your eyes on him

"It's fine chef let's just get to work" he says pacing around putting things into the oven and the others are cutting up things as you put on your uniform

"Chef" a voice comes up next to you as you put on your apron "yea Sydney what's up?" You say fixing your hair and walking to your station "I need to work with Tina with cutting up the onion and preparing a stock afterwards"

"Uh..I'm pretty sure I'm not good with-"

"Here's a recipe" she says quickly ganging you a paper

"I-okay there we have it" you say looking at the paper.

"Okay, then I'll get to the onions and get to the stock, uhm after?" You ask stuffing the paper into your pocket, and she looks through his notes

"Just wait, get those done and I'll tell you. Thank you chef." She says quickly before running away as you get to cutting

"Sure chef." You say watching starting to cut the onions

"Fuck,I forgot these make me cry like bitch"

"Behind, behind" carmy says running behind you and Tina as you two turn back to look at him

"Jeff, you good?" Tina ask looking at him as he rushes to his office

"Yea!yea. I'm good just got something to do." He says rushing out

"He's been doing that alot" you say turning gaze back to the onions

"Yup, Jeff's busy." She says fixated on her own task.

"He's off doing uh..catering?" Sydney says butting in the combo

"No shit..for what? No wait I heard it was for a kids party. God help them kids are the fucking worst. Sometimes." You say shaking your head with a smile as Tina chuckles

"Wait, did he take Ritchie with him?" You ask, looking at Sydney as Marcus nodded behind her.

You sigh "if anything says kid-friendly it's definitely ritchie." You sigh out

"Fucking ritchie.." you say again as you imagine Ritchie cussing up a storm in a party.

As Tina begins to laugh besides you, you let out a soft laugh that begins to gradually build up.

3 pm

"It's really not funny. yo-if carmy finds this he's gonna freak the fuck out." You say pacing around the broken arcade machine that keeps replaying the theme song .

"Can somebody please call fak?" You ask, pulling out your phone and calling

"Whyd you ask if you were gonna do it?" Ritchie asked coming near you eating sandwich

"I don't- just because" you say looking away shaking your head

"Don't turn it off." You say pointing a finger at Ritchie

"Why?"

"Tina said not to, I forgot why." You say waiting with the phone at your ear.at the corner of your eye you can see him beginning to inch closer to the plug

"Ritchie-ritchie don't you fucking dare." You say looking him in eye as he stops

"Alright- damn just wanna help that's all"

"Yes I know! It's just if you fuck it up carmy will be on your ass. And mine too if he feels like it"

"Hello?" A voice at the end of the line

"Fak!Thank god you busy? We need help with the"

"What?No- this is carm," the voice says at the end of the, obviously confused. Your eyes widen as you look at the caller ID

'Shit' you mouth

"Oh-uhm, wrong person bye"

"Wait wh-"

You hand up as you look at Ritchie "we need to get this fixed before carmy comes back, call fak please!" You huff out, beginning to walk away sighing as Ritchie takes out his phone and begins to call fak. " also don't tell carm, have done it before he comes back" you say again before running back into the Kitchen.

"yea, yea…" ritchie says waiting for fack to pick up the phone.

9 pm

Only silence fills the air and the sound of cars coming by could be heard every now and then.

"fucking Choas of a day huh? " . / You ask in a soft tone as she looks at you and nods

"yeah" She responds, turning her gaze to the sky.

. " But … aren't you, Used to this type of Stuff?" you ask as you hold your Phone on your other hand -

I and you look at her awaiting an answer.

"Uh yeah.I am." She sighs. Her hand lands on her thigh as She seems to be in her thoughts. "sometimes it's just to..."

"Much?" you add finishing her sentence, as she nods.

"yea."

" I'm not even a pro, but I feel you." You mumble softly, leaning back, closing your eyes to enjoy the peace and quiet even if it's just a few minutes.

" Damn you're getting really good at that." You gasped out wide-eyed, walking over to Marcus's table to look at him mixing some batter.

"Thanks," he says, looking up from some paper

"Is it because i don't help you anymore Or… " you say with a smile as he smiles as well

"No, no, no" he begins to say, laughing

"Just messing with you" you say "but seriously these two cakes you made before were delicious."

" Thanks, good to know, I'm slowly getting this recipe perfect then," he says, writing off in his notebook. You only stare. Before deciding to leave him be for a while.

1 am

"Fuck me my feet hurt." you breathe out as every wrapped up in the evening, a s your hands move the mop back anal fourth. .

"is that…" Marcus started as he mixed the dry ingredients " yea it's his job but he quote I had an "emergency" you explain sighing as you mop " Why are you here so damn late? "you asked, keeping your gaze on the floor, and Marcus only signed "perfecting these recipes chef" he said, scratching his beanie as you walked next to him to see the batch of pastries he had laid out.

"Wait, are those doughnuts?? Can i -" you gasped out, looking at the goodies in front of you

"Yes, but when there done. " he said, chuckling as you drooled over the doughnuts

"fuck yea" you cheered under breath as you continued mopping.

A few hours later you were able to finally try those doughnuts,

"Dude - these are fucking- " mouth full, you were unable to finish the se fence, seeing that the man was deep asleep. You covered your mouth, picking up a sticky note and leaving it on his beanie saying, " 5 Star"

With a little star next to the five. Putting away the remaining dishes or things that were misplaced by him.

"You're still here?" a voice from behind as you flinched

"Oh shit, carmy " you say, turning around to carry, setting down a bucket and a brush in hand. "forgot you don't go home " you chuckled Setting down the mop

" yea no- finishing up here for now," he says in a hushed tone, looking at Marcus, Your gaze follows his " he's dedicated to his craft, getting really good at it too." You whisper as you turn away, gesturing for him to let you help him. and he gave you the bucket beginning to scrub the floors.

"That's good, really good. He replies before doing the same.

"So, how have you been?" You say after a while of scrubbing as he turns to look at you.

" i 've uh been good, been running this restaurant for a bit, and Uhm, it's been chaotic as hell. '' Carmy replies with a small smile as you nod with a small laugh.

"That's good, i suppose," you reply with a smile, " and...?" you ask, shaking your head and looking at him with a questioning gaze.

"And that's it," he replies, shaking heal keeping his gaze on the floor.

" So like… nothing personal? no girlfriend?" " you ask trailing off and keep scrubbing as he stops for a minute to look at you.

"Okay, Okay i get it" You add lifting up your hand. "But tell me something im so fucking bored, and it so quiet in here." you say softly sitting on your knees as you let out a huff gazing into the empty kitchen.

"How did you Uh, Start working here?" Carmy asked, looking at the floor glancing at you every now and then to see your answer.

you grabbed the brush and began to scrub again,

" Think you know the answer to that, " you answered before stopping for a brief moment.

"But if we're being specific, I had uhm moved out of my parents' place after a large fight. long story. but yeah, I moved here to start anew. away from the bullshit my dad did, "you explained and noticed Carmy's eyes on you.

"he was well - is an alcoholic,I don't know, haven't spoken to them. " You say bluntly."Don't worry about it. I'm way past it. " You add you as he slowly returns to scrubbing quietly.

"im sorry, i don't, know why i just unloaded all of that onto you like a fucking idiot " you blurt out feeling a warm feeling in your chest. as you internally recoil

" It's all good" He softly says laying down.

"Yea....'" you mumble and it went quiet once again, the only sound filling the air was your scrubbing the floors.

"This is weird, but you're the first person I've told that to. " You say out of the blue, " i didn't have friends, so " you say, shrugging.

"Same. " he replies, "was a loner for most of school " he says sitting up.

"Yea, mikey told me'' you admitted "but then he would list all your achievements." Upon hearing this his gaze didn't leave Your face

"What?"

 "It just… he never mentioned you." Carmy admitted and you stopped brushing for a moment. 

"Really? " . you breathed out , leaning on the floor with your palm and your.. gave turning to him in thought  "Huh"

The two of you Stared at each other before you turned away.

"That's fucking weird" you murmured as he mumbles a 'yea' before sitting down on the floor and sitting silently. 

Minutes went by as you two didn't speak. 

"I guess he had his reasons," you said softly. and nodded his gaze on the floor.

Carmy only let out a sigh

"Yea,"

Biting your lip, you look at carmy, "he was good, y'know?" You whisper to him, carmys hand stopped moving as he turned his gaze to you. "I don't know anything about your relationship, so I don't wanna assume anything..." eyes looking at the suds that gathered between the cracks of the tiles,

"He was proud of you, that I do know." You add meeting his gaze and looking away to begin scrubbing again.

"Yea...I uh..thanks. thank you." He softly says, holding his brush still. As his eyes stayed on your form, having a dazed looked on his face

Turning to him, you nodded and smiled.

"Yeah.."

Afternotes: don't worry if you feel like this is moving slow, I'm already planning to get things moving a bit quicker soon:>

[onejellyfishplease]

Hi hi!! I have questions regarding snapdonnie (plant boy)

Can he talk? If he can what would it sound like? How would he try to hide this from his brothers if he does? Are your commissions open? Oh I wonder if he would just disappear. I imagine this is sensory hell for him. On top of having to eat bugs. eugh hahahaha I love this! He kinda reminds me of those mushroom zombies (/pos)!! What are your thoughts on him? I would love to hear more about this creature against nature (or with nature now, haha!!) I was originally here for open your wings but I have gotten thoroughly attached to the wacky Donnie fusions. Are you alright if people draw him?? How did you do this?? This is so cool!!! I love all of your Donnie designs but he is most definitely my favorite.

(Feel free to ignore, this turned into just gushing about him)

I was gonna keep going but it was going to get into weird unhinged cult territory really fast, hahaha!!!

Wow! Hi!

I will try to answer all your questions, me and @zeawesomeness were just throwing ideas around for SnapDonnie, so theres quite a bit to talk about!

What does he sound like:

I'd imaging real gurgly when he's like that, but he absolutely hates the sound of his voice, and the fact that most of what he says is muddled. So id say he mostly uses sign language to communicate. while he can still do that

How would he hide it from his brothers:

He would definitely try at the beginning! especially when it starts off as a small growth on his softshell, but eventually the consequences get too big and it gets revealed relatively quickly (at least compared to Open your Shell)

Are my commisions open:

uhhhh, not at the moment, but if there's enough interest in commissions for my art (which would be amazing) then i would be open to opening them!

Is this sensory hell for him?

Absolutely. especially now that flies are attracted to him. he hates it. his shell is consistently moving and it is hell.

My thoughts on him:

I live this creepy little dude. but now there is a little bit of trepidation with it. because now i want to turn this into a proper au and i need to stop doing this to myself.

More about SnapDonnie!

he was infected with this venus fly trap-like curse (from what I havent figured out yet, either kraang or mystic)

it started as a growth in his shell, which then sprouted those flytraps (which he couldnt hide)

the energy needed for the transformations makes Donnie ravenous, and the more he eats, the faster he turns. this is the part where his family find out.

yes he was compelled into eating raw (kinda rancid) meat.

they find out that this infection will continue until Donnie is fully turned into a carnivorous plant.

at the end of the transformation, Donnies face would split open and the single flower would bloom.

Small teeth-like spines are growing down the middle of Donnies face.

Donnie has to balance, starving himself without rotting/wilting (bc yes he does that now), while not eating too much that the transformation continues at too fast a pace.

it doesnt help that sometimes he goes feral (and his face does the splitty open thing), and attacks and tries to eat anything in his path. including his family. Ah yes. Angst.

so they need to figure out how to help Donnie before they loose him forever.

Okay I think Im done with ranting lol.

Can you draw him?

ABSOLUTELY!! please tag me if you do! in fact I am completely on board with you drawing anything from my aus! I love receiving fanart!

I think thats all the questions answered! I love asks like this lol, theyre always so fun!

[2bit-sunshine]

Hi everyone im danny and im feeling good for once in my twenties. Have been since about may. I cut off an old friend who mistreated my best friend. Ive helped my friends a ton. Im working on a security clearence for work. I am feeling much more confidant driving than i have ever. Ive bern socializing a lot and playing games like i used to. Ive been world building again and spending more time with my dog. Im working on my health and am actually confident in my body in a way i havent felt since i was thin as a waif. But i havent really lost a lot of weight.

The world is bleak and i worry and i hurt and i grieve all the people suffering out there. But right now my life actually feels. Worth it. My life is worth it. I havent thought about how id kill myself in months. I still dont have someone or someones to be intimate with and that hurts as it alwayd has. But im doing better

I am better

Idk. I really thought id be dead this time 12 years a go and i would be too dead to care about anything. I didnt think id be alive before i felt any kind of content or ambition to do more. But here i am. Im feeling content. And i want more too.

I know it sounds cliche at this point. But it does get better. I know it could get worse. But this feeling i have. This happiness? Its worth it. Its worth it to endure the bad times. Because while nothing lasts forever. The bad doesnt last forever either. I think part of it was acceptance of the things i had no power over and the things i could control, i have all the power to do so.

I alsl have amazing friends. I used to think people barely tolerated me and hated me. I spent years being told that if people didnt want me around they wouldnt have me around. I told myself it sometimes but never felt it. Never believed it.

But i do now. I believe it now. You gotta keep telling yourself those words of advice your loved ones give you. They will make sense one day. You will feel them when they are true. Your demons and shadows are not what defines you forever.

I worry so much for my friends who have such troubles still. I worry ill fall back into old habits. I worry some tragic thing is going to show me what im really made of. But it will be okay again. The sun will shine again. The spring will come again, however brief. The birds will sing again. The stars will always shine.

Idk. If youre reading this and having trouble. With yourself or your friends or your lovers or your family. It does get better. It might need time. It might be a long time. Its taken me over 2 decades to feel happy like i imagine i was as a child. And it hurt a lot along the way amd i made so manh mistakes amd fuck ups and lost friends and lovers.

Ive sat by while people get hurt. I wondered if i could even be forgiven for that.

The answer was yes. In a way. And sometimes it was no.

I cant change the past and some things shouldnt have happened. Shouldnt have at all. But they did and here we are. What to do now?

Forward. The only direction that really matters is forward. So forward i go. We go. Youll go.

The most important step is the next one.

You got this friends.

[marisoft-paint-adventures]

Pgs. 385 - 445

TG: skepticism is the crutch of cinematic troglodytes TG: like hey mom dad theres a dinosaur or a ghost or whatever in my room. "yeah right junior go back to bed" TG: fuck you mom and dad how many times are we going to watch this trope unfold it wasnt goddamn funny the first time i saw it TG: just once id like to see dad crap his pants when a kid says theres a vampire in his closet TG: "OH SHIT EVERYONE IN THE MINIVAN" TG: be fuckin dad of the year right there

so fucking true Dave, keep spitting.

EB: that's fine, you are entitled to your opinion, i am just saying that being a white guy who is a rapper with a ventriloquist doll is not cool by any stretch of the imagination or by any definition of word cool, ironic or otherwise. that's all i'm saying.

ULTIMATE WHITE BOY BRO STRIDER.

oh hey it’s the page I used to showcase Hussie’s affinity for slurs.

uh

still bad.

me when I fucking sTAB MY MOTHER.

I’m having rough flashbacks to HS^2 and I don’t like it.

also I just gotta say that Mom is the coolest looking person in this entire comic I mean just look at this fucking POSE.

it just screams “hello daughter you are going to get fuckin served.”

yes. the pony. beloved Maplehoof.

I’ve always seen this idea that the process of creating Earth, and by extension Universe B, involved taking the attributes and interests of the 12 trolls and morphing them into brand new instances and ideas, like how Gamzee’s Juggalo religion manifested as ICP on Earth.

I like to think that the entirety of the For Assholes book series exists through a recycling of Karkat’s personality.

also that fucking Asshole Note is comedy gold.

aw yeah time to fucking beat the shit out of an imp let’s

shit.

W magnet.

alright for real this time let’s kick the shit out of this imp.

goddammit.

also another White John can be found in this flash, collect all 7 to turn Super White.

also the Egbert Centipede I guess.

Tip: I am so fucking mad.

OK 1 MORE TIME.

he did it. he destroyed the fucker. John man.

YES.

DO THE THING.

YEEEAAAAAAH.

yeah.

fuck you cat I am about to revive.

IT’S HER, CLOWN GRANDMA.

HI NANNA.

TG: i mean dont get me wrong i think its cool and all TG: the semi-ironic puppet thing or whatever TG: or semi-semi ironic TG: man i dont even know TG: im just starting to think some of this shit is going a little far and its kind of fucked up TT: I've seen his websites. TT: I like them.

what did she mean by this.

what did she mean by this?

what did she mean by this?!

TG: oh man i wish lil cal wouldnt look at me like that TG: with those dead eyes jesus TG: sometimes i dream that hes real and hes talking to me and i wake up in a cold sweat and basically flip the fuck out

not saying it.

Page 422, titled “[S] GO ON. ==>” completely underrated flash, just listen to this fuckin song.

it captures the feeling of a big expository RPG cutscene so damn well I love it, it’s like I’m a kid again.

this is also just one of my favorite Sburb mechanics, I love the concept of basically deciding the abilities and aesthetics of the NPCs via prototyping, it’s such a cool little thing and opens up a lot of possibility for any fan-sessions.

JOHN: ok, i think i get it now! JOHN: so i guess the battle against good and evil is sort of irrelevant? well, i don't know, that all sounds kind of weird, but in any case, we build the house to get to these gates, and then i can save my dad! NANNASPRITE: Yes, John! JOHN: and then after that, we solve this ultimate riddle thing and save earth from destruction!!! NANNASPRITE: Oh no, I'm afraid not!

NANNASPRITE: Your planet is done for, dear! There is nothing you can do about that! JOHN: oh...

I fucking love this sequence because John activates the Cheery Protagonist Mode ready to assemble a team of teens with attitude in order to save the world from Dark Chess and whatever only to hear that the entire world will end and his response is just “aw..... :(”

I went on this entire shpeel about the potential of writing an isolationist John based off of willy nilly prose narration at the beginning but MAN do the early versions of the kids not give a SHIT about what’s going on.

“John Egbert, the Earth is doomed, it is going to explode, all life will die, you and your friends will be the last living things remaining.”

“:(”

AND THEN HE JUST MOVES ON.

this is a very weird moment that sticks out when looking at the comic as a whole because the weight of literally all life dying at once is nonexistent, but at the same time, this is fucking hilarious.

it makes think about a lot of rewrites I’ve seen where they try, emphasis on try, to give the fact that world ends more emotional relevance, and they basically kinda force this by introducing random background characters who are obviously going to die immediately.

like “oh hi my name is Huma Nfriend I’ve been besties with John Egbert since childhood we’re very close and cool and we’re gonna play a game called Sburb!!!” and then they just

I understand y’all want to make the characters actually feel something in regards to the entire home blowing the fuck up but there’s gotta be better ways than inventing some characters just to fridge.

also John does this.

uh, yeah. I don’t know.

he’s having a moment.

just give him some space.

ok now that’s just rude.

god Rose’s house during the winter is so pretty.

holy shit a Jade and Rose conversation, I hope we get plenty of these! (we do not.)

Jade knows about Sburb??? and it could bring Jaspers back to life???? what could it me- ok this joke already fucking sucks.

ah yeah it’s time to beat the shit out of the local whiteboy.

this shit is so fucking cool oh my god.

also there are literally meteors falling as Dave looks out and I guess he does give a shit.

[httpiastri]

some quick notes from your previous reply (i’m sorry i took so long ive been so busy recently but i finally have time now so):

firstly, i hope i never meet a handball player irl, ever. the fact that you just casually know people above 200cm?? i’m sorry but i’d actually feel like a pest around everyone 😓😓 (plus id get really jealous of heights) and id also be terrified to even stand near anyone close to 200 pls

and omg the fact that the guy who got you into coaching recently passed? i hope you’re doing okay 😓🙏 but if it helps— he may not have known how much he changed your life, but through coaching, you’re basically keeping his legacy alive, yeah? i think it matters, personally, that people are remembered and honoured and you’re kinda doing that through coaching, because you’re kinda solidifying (if that’s the right word for it) the fact that he existed, and he did enough good to change the lives of people for the better, and that his time here on earth wasn’t all in vain because he did good and he brought joy to people like you by leading you to being a coach and that his impact lives on even when he’s gone yk? it’s a form of closure, i think— to know that even if someone is gone now, there are pieces of them scattered behind in little things (in your case, in your daily life as a coach), and that not all is lost, just a little harder to find

also oops the fact that i called them girls even though they’re only a barely a few years younger than me 😭😭

and omg pepe would 100% make me feel comfortable meeting him at a race even if he might be stressed and no way you got to go to races at 8?? you had a chance to be one of those cute kids probably decked out in merch (if no merch was involved you probably got to scream happily at everything and good for you😭😭 because thats exactly how races should be experienced)

finding sponsors can’t be that hard… we could infiltrate the space in various ways im sure (my friend’s mum knows someone who works for Marlboro that gets invited to races bc the company was an EX-sponsor so anything’s possible)

on a rather unrelated note— pepe’s been acting very much like a muse for me recently… whatever that might mean… (might even be nothing honestly sometimes i don’t know what i mean either)

anyway! as always, i hope you have a lovely lovely friday, and weekend, and june (pepe’s month!), and that people are kind to you and that the sky looks beautiful and gorgeous all the time ❤️❤️

- 🪷💗

gosh dont apologize :( esp since you know im bad at answering….. its alright 🥺 just glad to hear from you 🥺🥺

shdjdhd it do be scary to meet really tall people!! when im around the men's team i work with sometimes, i almost get neck pains bcs staring up at them is so hard 😵‍💫 and i have this other job where i have to like sit by the court and do things for the match, and when players come over to talk to me and they literally tower over me???? insane 😶 but yes i too get jealous of heights, esp since in handball it's good for girls to be tall too so everyone around me is always tall asf? ive always been considered to be a tall person in school but at 175cm i am nowadays considered short in the team i currently play in 😐😐😐 so yes i feel u aaa (also several of the girls i coach are my height already and just. pls stop growing, you're scaring me. 🥲)

ALSO OMFG i almost forgot to answer this but i had a thought yesterday.... about my favorite volleyball player being 188cm and i thought "hm that's not very far off from pepe" so of course i have now started thinking about volleyball player!pepe 😶 idk if you enjoy volleyball aaaaaaa but i just thought about his height and his big ass hands that would make hitting the ball easier and just..........

thank you, im doing okay but it's still weird to imagine? because i haven't really had anyone close to me (or even semi-close) pass away so it's a very new experience, being in his neighborhood (very close to where i live) and thinking "oh what if i see him in the shop like that day-" before realizing... but god you put it in such a sweet way, im lowkey teary eyed :( i will continue to do my best to keep his legacy alive and honor him through my coaching!!! he created this thing that became so important to me and for that i will be forever thankful. but yes i agree, it means that he brought more meaning to my life and therefor also the girls i coach, and that's such a beautiful thing. it's life, i guess 😭 so hard but also so sweet...

skdjfhdjjf dont worry, i call them "children" to their faces very often even though some are even 16 😁 but to be fair ive known a lot of them since they were nine so to me they're still babies :(( also you being that young and still so smart is so cool and cute aaa

no because i have imagined meeting pepe MANY times and i really really think he would be so sweet about it. very happy that i recognize him and like "aw hey it's okay! no tears please" when i cry 😭 and i think he also would agree to do a silly pose with me for a photo aksjdhfjkdf 😭 i sadly didn't buy a lot of merch BUT (did i mention this already?? then i will be so insanely embarrassed....) we did get me a kimi lotus cap for obvious reasons 🥺 that i still have to this day actually !!! and ofc we took a pic of me next to the lotus truck 🤭 (also realizing now that i wasn't 8, i was 9 or 10 🤣 well well)

oh! then i think we can pretend to be your friend's mum's friend's kids? so we should also be invited?? or maybe we just need to get a job somewhere that has connections and can invite us..... to be fair my dad wrote to dino beganovic's manager or something about sponsoring him just for funsies (idk how u mean to sponsor someone just for fun tho 😶 he was like "what if i get my company's logo on his car and in return we get to come into the paddock once?..."), but then the manager responded with a full deal and stuff and my dad just got scared 😭 but we should keep looking, i'm sure we can find a good sponsor for us 🥰

aaaaa that's so sweet 🥺 i love that 🥺🥺🥺 if you feel like talking further about it, im all ears 🥰

aw dalring i hope you have an even lovelier lovely friday and week and month and year !!! and yes yes pepe's month, i think it will be very good to us all (esp him!!!!!!!) 🥰 i think that maybe the world listened to your ask because the sunset was so gorgeous tonight 🥺 so thank you for that <3<3

[jayextee]

RAGE 2

In a turn of events that will shock and appal anybody who knows me personally, I'm in love with a polarising game.

"In love" is too strong a term, perhaps. The thing is, every 'RAGE 2 is shit' take I see on the Internet, the harder I wanna double-down on being a fan of this game. And its prequel, yes, I am one of the three who love it.

What we have here though, is an awkward marriage between Avalanche Studios' openworld design a la the excellent Mad Max and id Software's trademark (if you ignore DOOM 3, as I often do) brand of satisfying shootybangs. It works as much as it doesn't, so I'm gonna go through the good, the bad, and the ugly right here.

The Good

Oh for crying out loud, RAGE 2 is a beautiful game. Although sadly lacking some of the stylisation of the original game (which reminded me personally of those late '90s fully-painted 2000AD strips and covers, niiiiice...) but now we have colour! And absolutely oodles of the stuff, including my beloved pink; used to great effect to draw attention to and highlight important interactables or areas. This lends itself to a visual clarity that supplants the gunplay excellently.

And of the gunplay, oh, I have some words. They're all good words. RAGE was no sloucher in this department itself, so build upon that absolutely solid base with a bunch of Nanotrite-fuelled abilities to spice up battlefield agility and strategy and we have ourselves one hell of a fun time. Even the vehicular combat has seen a welcome shot in the arm, although it's not quite as satisfying as that seen in Mad Max, it's still pretty fun to take down the endlessly-respawning convoys across the wasteland.

The Bad

That aforementioned wasteland. 'Waste' is indeed the operative term there; for there's a lot of empty space. Now, I don't play a lot of openworld games at all (RAGE, Mad Max, and the Arkham games are basically my entire diet) so this could be par for the course. But so much of it's just

s t r e t c h e d - o u t

and lulls between that satisfying gunplay can be pretty large sometimes. Especially stings when engaging with the openworld is pretty much the meat of the game's filler content, even when playing for a minimal 'see the ending' run.

This is lessened somewhat with certain lategame vehicles (I'd have gone insane were it not for the Icarus, I tells ya) but still. Look, I've already said I like this game a lot, are you expecting a whole itinerary of complaints here?

The Ugly

Not literally ugly, as this is a great-looking game through and through. But there are bugs. Ragdoll bugs, floating prop bugs, frozen physics object bugs, enemies stomping the player through the floor bugs, invisible NPC bugs; even a particularly-heinous game-breaker that can happen literally as the final mission is supposed to trigger that so far, fingers crossed, I've managed to avoid on both a casual playthrough and a completionist one. But hey, I guess this is technically A Bethesda Game™ and I gather that pretty much goes with the territory at this point.

Also it's worth noting that the game fucking loves the Cyber-Crusher boss and there are a few of those. They don't get any more difficult each time either, it's just the one boss again. And again. And so forth.

Conclusion

It's good! I like it a lot! Even love, to spite The Internet in general because I love to cheer on any underdog I see; imagined or otherwise. It's got some flaws but I was very much willing to overlook these things for a game that, although I couldn't say was unilaterally-superior to its prequel, does nonetheless take some steps to improve upon it. And it has a proper final boss encounter as well, instead of, well, just a room that the original game had.

Unpopular opinion maybe, I wish they'd do a third. 4/5

[watatsumiis]

ro ro ro ro

🎤🛡💔 for whichever (or all) of your genshin men <3

*bites you (/aff) and runs*

CHASES YOU DOWN AND BITES YOU BACK. RRRAAAAGH /aff /pos

ramblies below the cut awooo!!!

🎤: Describe your f/o’s voice

Ayato - His voice is a very soft blue with white cloud shaped spots throughout but with the texture of perfectly misted water. but theres also a little stream of water running along the underside. kind of a vaguely round-ish shape but also not. im imagining the shape of moving water when katara is waterbending in atla ? its very cold but not Bad cold, like.. like leaving the house early on a spring morning and taking in a big breath of that cold crisp air

Capitano - a deep deep navy blue, with very dark brown/almost black-grey sort of .. rocklike shapes along the bottom, but lighter blue upside down droplets near the top. theres also a sort of light to dark gradient descending with the blue ? its kind of shaped like a big rounded scale. a very tough texture but also sort of soft in a way? like touching a big snake

Zhongli - kind of like the texture of a big big gemstone thats been sliced in half, smooth but theres lines through it, you touch it and its warm, its mostly a deep brown but the gradient sort of fades to a similar amber colour to his eyes. but when hes speaking softly its like... soft, but not too soft. not mink but like that soft thats almost.. sticky feeling? it comes in like little clumps. it looks like the scales butterflies have on their wings, its whats on the inside of those oodies?

🛡: Who’s the more protective one?

Ayato - I think we're both very protective towards one another but in different senses. he's the 'traditionally' protective one, who is always going out of his way to make sure I'm staying out of trouble and not around anyone shady, but I like to look after him and make sure he's taking care of his own needs and isn't being overworked (even if that means coming up with an excuse to get him out of a meeting that has run way too long). I'm the guy standing behind him giving people the stink eye when they try to give him extra paperwork

Capitano - It's him. there's no doubt about it. he's protector coded through and through, to him I am just this pathetic little sopping wet pomeranian puppy fresh out of the washing machine with shaky little legs that needs to be kept on a tight leash or else I'll get myself crazy murdered. which hes probably right for that. i couldnt see myself surviving long around people like the fatui. im too impulsive, id probably get offered a beaker of glowstick juice from a dottore clone and gulp it down without thinking. though im definitely protective of him to an extent too (as much as i can be), fretting over him being sent into dangerous situations or having to work too much, that kind of thing.

Zhongli - it's him. without a doubt. im just a fragile squishy little human, he's an archon. he probably frets much more than he needs to and does lots of little things to subtly guide me away from things i shouldnt be getting into. i am my own biggest danger most of the time because i'm pretty clumsy and sometimes struggle to look after myself. id worry over him a lot, but he's probably pretty good at practicing self care so my worries dont have a lot of merit to them. he likes to let me feel like im helping though <3

💔: Is it hard being away from each other?

Ayato - For him, yes. Not so much for me. He spends a lot of time working and so I'd be pretty used to him not giving me much attention and the like, but I know I'll have his full attention when he does have time for me. but he likes the reassurance that he hasn't been forgotten about or isn't being ignored, so he gets kind of antsy if i don't visit him often enough, or tell thoma to say i said hi when he brings ayato his cups of tea <3

Capitano - Not particularly. We're both very introverted and benefit from alone time - I'd imagine a lot of our time spent 'together' is just.. alone time, in the same vicinity as one another. like parallel play. He'll be cooking in the kitchen while I'm sitting nearby reading a book, or he'll do some gardening when i'm out on the porch drawing or writing! Of course, we'd miss each other a lot, but I'd imagine we're separated a lot thanks to his work, so we've found our own ways to cope, and are careful not to become too reliant on one another. but id definitely miss his cooking and his cuddles (sob)

Zhongli - I think it depends. I'd get sort of used to having Zhongli around me very often, and having someone to direct my questions and observations towards, so him not being there would be super noticeable for me, and I think he'd probably feel at least somewhat similarly. We'd find ourselves turning to talk to someone that isn't there beside us and craving for someone else's company, but nobody else feels quite right. I'd imagine his loneliness gets a lot worse during the Lantern Rite season or on death anniversaries, when all the old emotions are being dredged back up - he'd sort of instinctively draw away a bit to grieve because he doesn't want me to see him all sad, but that in turn would make me sad because i miss him and would feel like id done something wrong :((

[caseythebunnyboy]

Howdy! As always I am incredibly pleased to hear from you again. It is the highlight of my morning. I imagine this is what it was like not too long ago. anxiously awaiting a letter from your loved one.

Your description of yourself (and the couple photos you've posted of yourself) I must say is incredibly helpful to aid in my impure thoughts. I've only been attracted to maybe 3 men in my life but I truly believe you are at the top of that list. I have a type of course and you just fit right in it.

I loved hearing about how soft your skin is and how frail you are. Gets me quite aroused. You can ask me anything by the way. Don't worry about if it'll make me uncomfortable or upset. everything about me is an open book! The answer to your question by the way is

Yes ❤️ I've came to the thought of you several times. I mostly jerk off when I'm in the shower (it has the most privacy as I grunt and moan quite loud) Sometimes It's fantasies of you. Other times I look at the photos you've posted. It really gets me worked up. I've probably never ravaged my sex-toy more than when I'm thinking of you. Sometimes I think about just kissing you. All over. Kissing your soft lips. Working my way down your chest to those wonderful thighs. Then of course I can't be stopped from eating out and enjoying that wonderful bunny cunt that lays in front of me. I too imagine the contrast of your soft skin and my rough hands. Maybe you'd like it if I stood behind you, towering over you. My chest firmly pressed into your back as I run my hands up and down your soft skin. I'll leave this here but as always I am anxious to hear from you again. Fare thee as well as I fare, 

your zealous admirer - 🚂 (I'm a big train guy I am nerdy about trains they're cool as hell) (PS. The puss in boots wolf is hot. I'm a top and I totally get wanting to get just ruined by him)

hello again, dear cowboy anon! 💜💜 im very glad i can make you so happy hehe, i kind of wish you would just dm me so we can consistently talk and get to know each other without you having to wait for a response everyday, but i understand anonimity is a very big thing people treasure so i wont force you to! though, if youd ever want to dm me, all im saying is that id welcome you with open legs arms 💜

(rest of my response under the cut so i dont clog peoples dashboards!)

very happy that my information is helpful to your fantasies! id love to hear more of them you know? how youd ruin me, how you would react if i ever bought a cute bunny outfit for you, what youd do if you ever caught me touching myself to you... hehe, so many things id love to know about you 😊

also!! im relieved you indirectly clarified youve been attracted to other men, even though its not that many! i needed that reassurance because ive had uh... not the best experiences with another man from the south, and ever since then ive been scared of straight men being attracted to me that actually saw me as a girl, but would just lie about being queer to my face just so i wont block them 😓 im glad youre not one of them! my underlying fear has been solved and i can now fully flirt with you without being paranoid 💜

the fact that i fit your type is a very big compliment, and just so you know, youre my type too hehe 😊 big strong man with an accent thats kinky but really sweet? hehehehe... if i ever meet you we'd both be going until we were exhausted 💜 and youve cum to me more than once? that actually makes me really needy knowing you like me and my body so much that youve fantasized about me multiple times 😵‍💫

hmph i wish i was in that shower with you, listening to your groans and moans 🥺 maybe im also a little jealous of that sex toy, im the one youre supposed to ravage, not that!!! my holes are all open and available for you to use to your hearts content but since im not near your home you have to resort to using a toy instead of me, so unfair 🥺🥺 by the way if you ever mention eating my boy cunt out again ill cum right on the spot- and last minute note, i would love if you towered over me, groping and grabbing my soft bunny parts while whispering all the dirty things youd to do me in my ear hehe 💜

noted, my dear cowboy anon is a train enthusiast! thank you for that little bit of information, and i very much hope to hearing from you again! youre so nice and interesting, anon 😊 im very excited for us to talk again 💜💜

(p.s thank you for understanding my monsterfucker tendencies, the death wolf is making me severely horny and its very easy to see why once you watch the movie!)

[dedbuny]

hi :) im bunny and im a chronic maladaptive daydreamer :)

ive been doing it for about eight years now and im curious to see how many others do it too !

my (only moderately depressing) maladaptive daydreaming story/timeline is below the cut, if that interests u at all :) id love to hear urs as well in the notes !

my first memory of maladaptive daydreaming (aside from playing house and stuff as a kid) was in 2014 when i was in sixth grade. my friend and i would pretend to be certain characters throughout the whole school day, even writing the characters’ names on our schoolwork and calling each other by those names. the most common characters were always sam and dean, which is .. something . sometimes it was the 5sos members. then as the years went by the chosen characters changed depending on my hyperfixation at the time.

in grade eight i had moved on to kpop. this is the worst it gets i promise. mostly the same continued, except this year i realized something revolutionary: i could include myself in the daydream ! so i started pretending i was whatever kpop idol i was interested in on any given day’s friend, every day, for the next five to six years. this is where it became an addiction i guess.

grade nine was more of the same but with some drag race girls sprinkled in. grade ten was more of the same but with some video game characters sprinkled in. as those five to six years went by i continued daydreaming about myself and any chosen person or character i liked, except i realized one other extremely important thing: i could also just make up my own characters…..

so i did . technically the first original character i ever made was in eighth grade, named jacob. as much as i’m now trying to slowly distance myself from the maladaptive daydreaming and all the characters that were born from it, jacob really feels like my friend. they’ve evolved with me every step of the way — they’ve gone through a whole appearance change, their personality has changed, their gender and pronouns have changed, their world views have changed, all alongside my own, so it really does feel like i’ve found a lifelong friend who just gets me. and upon realizing that i’m purposefully creating my own blorbos from my mind to perfectly match my needs and wants and behave exactly like i want them to, i started feeling extremely self conscious about it all.

over the last five to six years i’ve created roughly 23 different characters, all with intertwining relationships and backstories and personalities and interests and styles. it’s been really fun actually, to be able to essentially create an entirely made-up friend group and make up their relationships with each other and watch them all grow. the issue lies in the fact that i’m spending more time imagining i’m them and/or imagining i’m with them than i am actually being in reality.

because all these characters behave in the exact ways i want them to and understand me perfectly inside and out, i’ve become much more easy to irritate. i find myself having a much shorter temper with my friends and family. my ocs know what i’m thinking and always have the perfect answer, because they are me. they know what makes me uncomfortable and avoid doing so, because they are me. they never question anything i say or challenge any of my beliefs, because they are me. in other words , uh oh .

this has all made me extremely paranoid, extremely insecure, extremely anxious and extremely depressed. it’s gotten to the point where i don’t really know who i am anymore, because i don’t really feel like i’m the one who has evolved or grown over the years. i feel like a side character to all the ocs i’ve made who are living my life for me. it feels like all my decisions are made by whoever it is i’m daydreaming as in that moment. i’ve had multiple breakdowns due to remembering that none of this world i’ve built in my head is real, and none of it ever will be. but it all feels unbelievably real. and i feel like if i ever stop i’ll be punched in the face with the consequences of letting what is essentially my imaginary friends control my life for six years.

i’ve thought it might be either evolving into or had initially stemmed from schizophrenia or ocd or did or something similar but i don’t even know anymore. right now it just seems like a combination of having autism, depression, severe anxiety, an extremely vivid imagination, and being chronically lonely.

i truly feel like i’m suffering alone here. i know there are other people who maladaptive daydream but i’ve never heard of anyone who does it like me. if anyone reading this understands what im going through i’d love to hear from you !!!!!

if u got this far into reading, thank u for hearing me out :)

love, bunny (...and jay and marcus and darius and veronica and luca and hiroki and minki and advik and hannah and hanna and nayeon and shauna and joslyn and thomas and christian and jack and claire and marion and peter and frances and oskar and felix and frederick and svante and shaelynn and heather and more)

[eatinurgutz]

hello my dear, im back from my task. my first thought after was, “did my lovely boy message me back?” and i see that you did. 🤍 the idea of you thinking about me drives me absolutely mad. god you are truly addicting. i just can’t help but want a taste.. 🤍🤍

alright, if you’d like me to be possessive, then i will. but be careful what you wish for. ill keep you forever if i can. never let you leave me.. you would look absolutely ravishing pinned on a cross for me to lovingly worship for all time. 🤍

of course you are my home. i absolutely adore when i can talk to you or loving stalk you :3 you are amazing.. your writing is always lovely. i find myself amazed at all times. also… your coco. your coco. yours yours yours yours…. oh my goodness i might explode…

I honestly don’t mind at all. as long as you pay even the slightest bit of attention to me, i will be ok. i really don’t believe you will… i won’t say much, but i don’t think you would be interested in me anymore if you knew who i was. part of me thinks you could never see me that way if you knew. i won’t give you too much my dear.. but i will say, we met on love letter, and have talked there at least a few times. i won’t say if we are friends or strangers.. i cannot give too much away.

i apologize. i wouldn’t want to worry you with my clumsiness. im so glad i can make you smile and giggle.. it warms my heart so deeply.

don’t worry about any of that my dear. im just glad i can bring you joy. im not going anywhere any time soon 🤍 i cant even imagine that. im so enamored with you, where would i go? i dont think i could live without my daily dose of you. 🤍🤍🤍

oh my dear.. i will overwork myself as much as possibly needed. you are worth it. you are worth everything, anything. i truly would do anything for you.. cook, clean, crawl on my hands and knees and kiss the ground you walk on.. i am yours. i might start to ramble a little because once i get started, its hard to stop. i want you, i need you. the idea of you going anywhere is sickening. i won’t let you go, ill never let you go. my precious deity, you are everything i hope and dream for. i can’t explain how far my obsession goes.. im not lying when i say id do anything. anything you ask. say the word, its done. 🤍

ill try to take care of myself.. for your sake. i have a few questions.

what is your ideal person?

what is your love language?

i will be good, my love.. i will be so good. all for you. only for you…. 🤍 ask me anything you’d like. i don’t mind. i might not give too much info.. i truly worry what you might think of me knowing who i am.

your coco ☕️

HI!! I'm glad you're back, dear. I've been thinking about you all day. . . I dont know if i would taste good :") but okay, silly. Heeheehhehe, okay okay. . . As much as that sounds like it would hurt, that's fine with me, dear coco. Make sure the cross is pink though. ^_^ hh i love getting to talk to you too, love. Yes, yes. . . You're MY coco. 🤍 mine, mine mine, mine. . . And please don't explode, I'll cry and explode too. T_T I'll try to give you as much attention as i can, okay love? Sometimes i do get busy, but I'll try my hardest, for you. :) Well I'm sorry you feel and think that way. I'm sure whoever you are, when you reveal yourself, i won't love you any less. Ouh. . . Okay! That's all i really needed to know. :) and i kinda think clumsiness is cute. . . Only on you though. I'm glad you make me smile and giggle too, Because alot of people do the opposite. :) I do hope you never leave. . . Or else I'd have to kidnap you and lock you away. Butttt. . . For now I'll try not to over think on those type of things. All i need to think about right now is my dear coco. . . Aaaa, as much as i appreciate you saying those things, i would feel terribly bad for making you over work for me. :( But thank you, my sweet coco, and thats fine with me i don't mind hearing you ramble. . . Infact, ill encourage it. <3 but yes, please take care of yourself, dear. I want you to be as healthy as possible! Mentally and physically. :3 my ideal person. . . someone who i can trust, who won't lie to me. Who will tell the truth, no matter how embarassing it is. . . someone who won't judge me and will let me by myself. I also like when people get jealous. :3 like if they see someone flirting with me, they'll be over protective. . . I don't know- things like jealousy make me feel actually wanted. . . And i like people who know how to give me space, but also are still clingy with me! ^_^ i also have a things for poets. . . And gingers. ^^" i prefer more quiet and not very social people - they tend to be more lonely and that means i get them all to myself. x3 Not sure what else to add hhh. . . And for my love language. . . I like affection, gift giving, and words of affirmation, also quality time! Idk if this counts. . . But pda too. :3

Hmm, i do have a few questions. . . Feel free to answer the ones you want. Or are comfortable with sharing.

1. Age or age range?

2. Preferred pronouns and terms?

3. favorite color?

4. favorite song?

5. Song that reminds you of me? (mwhehehe. . .)

6. Do you like pickles? >:D

7. favorite artist? Genre?

8. Any character ships that remind you of us?? :33

[tetzoro]

MY DARLING AIMSIES !!! :3 i know you’re on a hiatus, but i thought i should let my ask marinate in your askbox until whenever you’re back teehee <333

PLZ yesyesYES he for sure would play those rigged games ALL DAY LONG to get u what u wanted !! HELP that’s so silly that you don’t usually make funny faces at the camera !! i don’t know how people pose… i usually scream my head off the ENTIRE time… whoopsies !! >.< that’s so sweet of kuroo to indulge in your amusement park fascination !!

PLZ HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME SOBBING ?!?! THE BOKUTO SCENARIO WAHHHH me and my tinky T^T me with the lil napkin… plz he’s definitely so messy when he eats & it may or may not be canon i fear… https://pin.it/3Z3IXYqWz … sigh </333 BUT PLZZZZ HIM FREEZING OH MY GOODNESS !!! with the stars in his eyes and all, ohhhh i can just imagine it <333 IM GETTIN ALL GIDDY !!! i’d hope he’d want to kiss me teehee, i definitely wanna give him a BIG OL SMOOOOOCH !!!!!

ALSO PLZZZZ YESYESYES U ARE TOO SWEET AIMS !! me and tinky bo love you sososo much, it makes me so happy to hear that WAHHH !! you’re right, the world needs to know about me and TINKYYY !!!

WAHH yes i see that you’ve been busy lately sobs, you’re on full hiatus by now but i’m hoping it’s all going supa dupa well for you !! everyone deserves a well needed break, and everyone including me is here to support you through everything precious aimsies !! you’ve put MANY smiles on my face and i just hope you’re smiling even when you’re not on tumblr, because you deserve to be <333 you’re an amazing person and you wholeheartedly deserve all of the love !! ILYILYILY !!! i hope you’re okay aimsies !! im supporting you to the fullest & i’ll wait very patiently for your return <3

YIPEEEE KUROMY TIME !! MY FAVORITE !! oh paLEEEZZ you are both so adorable T^T with the little cat doodles HELLOOOO ??? i bet they were adorable lil doodles teehee >.< can kuroo draw :0 ?? and him asking you to be his girlfriend on tha same night ??? ID ABSOLUTELY MELT INTO A PUDDLEEEE !!!! </333 i’d imagine he likes to write sweet lil messages with a dry erase marker on your mirror sometimes, for you to wake up to and feel all blushy !! does he?? I GOTTA KNOW !!

OO OO OOO im riddlin’ my fingers right now, me and kou timeee !! let’s see, when kou is on his off season, we definitely do travel some !! but we are more “no place like home” kind of people, so we usually like to plan things in our area !! get togethers with friends, movie nights, stargazing, carnivals, the beach, all that fun stuffsss !! but when we do travel, it’s usually a surprise to me !! i wont know about it until he’s telling me to pack my bags ( it’s a wondrous mystery how he manages to keep his mouth quiet about it for that long… usually he spills the beans teehee :>) but he loves loves LOVES beachy areas. pretty clear water, swimmin’, yummy foods and all that !! but i will say, he does get a bit ancy to touch a volleyball again so i do the best i can, we have a mini volleyball net in our backyard so sometimes we have lil volleyball bbq’s with his friends !! cool summer nights are always lovely with him <333 life usually looks like a lot of luvin and a WHOLE lotta dates !!

kuromy question for yousss as always !! : when you get sad or have off days, how does kuroo comfort you ?

I LOVE YOU MORE AIMSIES !! i am wishing you SOSOSO many well wishes, and sending you an endless amount of smoochies and hugs <333 I HOPE YOU’RE DOING BETTER MY LOVE !!! ❤️

- :3 (& tinky bo says hello!!)

MY MOST BELOVED :3 !!!! oh how i’ve read this ask a million times . i cherish you so much, im floored at your kindness and i wanna squeeze ya so so tight <3 thank you for leaving this message and waiting patiently for me to come back 🥹🫶

IM GIGGLING !!! i used to always scream on the coasters too (still do) but im crazy and will laugh too idk .. its just so exhilarating + i laugh at literally anything so idk >_< i can imagine tetsu laughing next to me too and we just sound insane and tbh !! i wouldn’t have it any other way !

YOU AND UR TINKY !!! i get emotional thinking about you guys like my heart squeezes at the nickname you have for him !! THE PIN THO HES SO CUTE LMFAO this man def wants to kiss you omg are u kidding !!! he’s head over heels !! obsessed !!

me when i take you and ur tinky and grab tetsu and we all go double date <3 we’d have such a ball !!!! KUROO AND I LOVE BOTH OF U SO. MUCH.

the hiatus was much needed :3 i hadn’t properly taken a tumblr break in … a really long time lol and i was letting silly stuff get to me !! but now im back and refreshed and ready for action :3 the fact i make you smile blows my mind bc you’re the one always making me smile fr !! GOSH UR SO SWEET THIS MESSAGE FR MAKES ME TEAR UP LOL

tetsu + his cat doodles :3 i have a teeny whiteboard in my office and he always fills it up with something i swear ! i think kuroo could draw well if he took the time to devote himself to it , but he’s excellent at little doodles :3 !! BUT HE DEF WRITES ME LIL MESSAGES ON THE BATHROOM MIRROR ! slips little notes into my purse, lots of stuff ! i cherish words of affirmation and tetsu always knows when i need it most :3

YOU AND BO ARE SO CUTE DURING OFF SEASON (and all the time) but omg … i can just see him having the biggest smile on his face during this time. he gets you all to himself and doesn’t have to travel (without you) and WAH !! happy bo !! the fact he surprises you with little trips is so sweet (and he always brainstorms with kuroo hehe)

eeep !! so kuroo can read me like a dang book. he knows when i’m feelin off and how to approach it. it’s difficult for me to openly admit my feelings sometimes , if im sad or upset i will try my best to brush it off & push it off until it goes away but >_< sometimes it lingers !! and kuroo is incredibly patient with me . once i give into whatever emotion, i seek him out for a hug and he just holds me for a loooong long time until im ready to talk about what’s bothering me . after that, he doesn’t leave my side and dotes on me, spoiling me with sm love and care that i forget about what upset me in the first place !!! he’s my rock :(

TIME FOR YOU AND TINKYS QUESTION ! what kinds of things does bokuto do that make you feel so so loved? i must know !!

I LOVE YOU SM :3 !!!! you’re the biggest sweetheart and this message brought me so much joy — you bring me so much joy !! i’m so happy we met and i get to talk to you in our lil corner of the internet . i hope life has been treating you kindly and i hope you know that i am always cheering you on and rooting for you !!! MWAAAHH !!!

[tainsan]

im back 🐺

NO DEFINITELY just i feel like never around the guys... imagine how manyt imes youll hear someone yell despite also being the cheesiest bf ever. youll heve to wear earplugs in that house (me too my crush is literally the fattest nerd. i heart nerds) (me too i love the way he looks all happy n ugh)

THE WAY HELP IMAGINE YOU THINK ITS A JOKE FOR THE LONGEST TIME do u like play along cause duh AND THEN YOU REALIZE MID CONVO SND JUST START DYING also muffin and cupcake are so cute like the mwaning he has for them i think id COMBUST if anyone called me that

im super excited!! P.S. plss can we convince them to get a cat j dont remember whos mom said no BUT I NEED A CAT SO BAD UGHGGHFHF 🙏🏻🙏🏻 imagine the possible fluff ohmygodddzs.. I LOVE THR STORY AND ALSO YOU!!

YES THEY DO THAT SOMETIMES like pleasee why r there fifty kids flipping. IM gonna flip if you keep this up. i hate when bad casting happens.. luckily ive only had it happen like once so im lucky 🤞🏻but not being able to do ANY of those things is cray cray?? like i get matilda is a show where the dancing is a lot but CANT ACT?? ALSO WAS IT LIKE A FILMED PLAY??

totally.. you NEVER know whats happening until the chapter is released... not at all 🤫

tell ur brain to square up 👊🏻 but im glad ur improving!! hopefully it will continue to improve 💪🏻

OKAY ALPHA WOLF OUT.. for now 😈

AWOOOO🐺🐺

-🦝

I didn’t see this till just now (I’m crying in a corner)

I WANT THEM TO GET A CAT TBH??? Thinking of making one of the members (likely wooyoung or San) sneaking in a cat and keeping it until Hongjoong or Seonghwa notice 😭

I almost broke my ankle doing Matilda. Never again. IT WASNT FILMED it was just for like an end of year project but it SUCKED ASSS😭😭😭😭

I only know what happens in the chapter when it’s released🤭 otherwise I am 100% clueless ‼️‼️

ALPHA WOLF ALMDOAOAKS

See you soon my alpha who I’m 100% devoted to 🥺🥺🥺 AwOOOOO

[okaysional]

super hope u dont mind me replying, iv been checking back to read things ppl add bc i find it honestly fascinating. but i wanted to add some more ramblings to see if it resonates.

i dont See things in my mind, but like i said in the original ask, i can imagine and apple with enough detail to think of the condensation droplets on the crunchy skin, the way the speckles of colour are not solid [in the case of a red apple] if u look closely u can see the yellow and pink in between the brigth reds. the way the light reflects off the skin harshly, the texture of the stem coming out of the top. however i put myself at a 5. because no matter how much i am Conceptualising the apple in my mind, it is not at all visual.

when i think of a character i like, or an intricate design that i am Very fmailir with, i can imagine each individual component. i can think of what its like to hold even? i can imagine how much space it takes up in the world, but again, i am not SEEING it. when a guided mediation asks me to picture myself on a beach, i cannot. i can fall into the sense memory of sand beneath my body and sun on my skin but i see black behind my eyes.

and in speaking with people who claim other stages, i have very clearly asked if it is like a Picture, with actual visuals as if they are seeing it, and they say yes. i also know its different to SEEING because i have been under the influence of drugs and had it happen, and sometimes in the time between sleep and waking i am capable of conjuring images. which is kind of how iv confirmed that theres less about personal interpretation of what is SEEING vs CONCEPTUALISING [which is just the way i have come to describe it myself because that seems to make it easier for people to grasp what im asking] and an actual definite difference in the way minds work person to person

I also have ADHD, and a brain that zips about like a hummingbird, which can make it infinitely harder to focus when i want to do the conceptualising and often leads to the ideas not being permanent and flitting in and out or changing.

I saw another post once about imagining a ball on a table. then imagine a person walks up and tips the table and the ball rolls. and then the post asked, what did the person look like? what colour was the ball? how fast did the ball roll? did it fall off the table? if it did, did it bounce when it hit the ground? that test showed that people closer to 1 on the scale had these answers already there, they couldnt possibly imagine the scenario without having all of those things involved. And those closer to 5 had to go back and think or only conjured those details once asked. itrs truly fascinating to think about i love to learn things like this

i am also an artist [and a damn good one if u ask me] and i do it in spite of having head empty no visuals in my brain, but i also recognise sometimes that if i DID have visuals it would make my life marginally easier when i wanted to draw. but at the end of the day, even when u have a clear image in ur mind, the skill to get that from brain to canvas is another thing in itself. so i agree with u there that people can stop wirrying about having a black void in their head holding them back, i paint incredible shit on the regular with zip going on, so can anyone

heres another fun one for u, id heard a long time ago that when we think of music in our minds, that we are not hearing the music. but we hear what our inner voice would sound like mimicking those instruments. now this turned out to be true for me and i was like YOOOOO bc thats funny, my brains going "duff duff duff" making drum sounds and "twang twang" for guitars or whatever, but its MY VOICE. until i learned a friend of mine could play music in their head and hear it exact as if it were a CD. which blew my mind.

exceotionally fascinating stuff

might be an odd question, but i have a theory after noticing trends amongst artists iv known in my life and SO FAR it's rung true so im expanding sample size

IDK if u know what aphantasia is already so I'm including reference [forgive me if uv already spoken abt this also]

Where would u say u fit on the scale?

For me I cannot see an apple, I know I am supposed to, or I will see concepts of it [like how the flesh is shiny and holds water droplets but i do not SEE it nor can i hold a clear visual of anything in my mind for that matter it is always flashing IDEAS like components of a visual, never the whole thing]

I'm asking because of people I've asked about this, there's a quality of their art that [i dont know how to put into words WHY] reminds me of each other, and I'm wondering if u will give me the same answer they have because I am a curious little bastard

I'm pretty sure I'm 1? I think I might have one of those brains that operate mostly on visuals. I don't need to close my eyes to see the image in my mind, it just sort of "opens in a different window" and I'm looking at reality and the mental image simultaneously.

It's never a flat picture, I see a 3D model of sorts, and I can rotate it around, cut it into pieces, look "through it" to see it from outside and inside at the same time, and arrange it to different poses if it's a character. Sometimes when I'm drawing something, I imagine what it would feel like to touch it and hold it in my hands, and that helps me to figure out how to convey a better sense of volume and tangibility.

I also think in images (or, like, gifs?) and I've never had an internal monologue. It surprised me when I heard that some people actually have a narrator in their heads, I can't imagine what it's like.

It's not always fun though, sometimes I get pretty nasty intrusive thoughts and they come in forms of vivid and very unpleasant mental images. Like visiting a relative's grave and being hit with a crisp picture of their decomposing body. Or getting those "I could walk in front of that car/ jump down from here" call of the void thoughts and instantly getting a brain illustration of it playing out from an onlooker's point of view and what the aftermath would look like. They're most distressing when it's bad things happening to someone I care about, for example I have a really persistent one about accidentally slamming a door on my cat and seeing him crushed and dying.

Oddly enough it doesn't extend to all visual thinking. My mind's eye and visual memory work well, but I also have severe face blindness and practically nonexistent ability to form mental spatial maps of my surroundings.