#sometimes we just have to ‘i got food at home’ ourselves

[icaruspendragon]

thoughts on romanticizing mundanity and making kindness defiant:

[3liza]

I feel very defensive about the "goth is bougie" shit because it is historically incorrect, yes, but also and more personally, because it just erases the generations of goth kids who grew up in trailer parks and project housing or just straight up homeless, helping each other out.

it's specifically such a supportive subculture for poor and neglected kids and I really fucking hate that this has been revised and erased. juggalos and goths are very culturally close and many subcultural people are both, and juggalos have the same (and, I would argue, even better defined) culture of collective support. the Skids in Letterkenny are not made up for the show, that's just a real type of rural subcultural person. this has also been forgotten in the interim but in the 90s and 00s we didn't even really refer to OURSELVES as "goths" very much except in a joking way. goths had regional endonyms (like "skids" or "trenchies") even if they could all go to a convention or a club in a city and in that context be all called "goths" together, once they went back home they would go back to being whatever the locals called them or whatever they called themselves. this is a whole linguistics and sociology subtopic that's out of scope for a Tumblr post but is sort of related.

my point is that people who wore actual rags, and sharpie instead of nail polish, and wet n wild eyeliner instead of black lipstick, and dyed their hair with markers or food coloring or kool-aid, were and are the core of the goth scene. the majority of the pictures the mallgoth blogs are posting are from catalogs, fashion shows, costume events, yearly balls and fetes like Wave Gothik Treffen, and other places where people save up literally all year, or many years in a row, to put together ONE outfit. and there's nothing wrong with that, personally I'm proud and pleased that our hard work is being recognized and preserved. but just like formal studio photographs from the Victorian era, it is not representative of the daily or even weekly (for clubs) reality of people in the scene, some of whom were completely out of goth clothing during the day or week just to fit in at work or sometimes just to get along without being bothered at home by family members who thought the Cure was Satanic.

the people who RUN the scenes, the promoters and DJs and gogo dancers and independent designers and people who run the mailing lists and websites, the people who organize the room parties at conventions, and yes even most of the original Burning Man camps like Thunderdome, they mostly live in poverty. especially if they're young. when people organize club nights and shows, they're lucky if they break even. I wasn't aware of any of this until I started working at DNA Lounge in San Francisco, which hosts one of the oldest goth nights in the country, Death Guild. I got to know the owner of DNA well enough to find out about the financial reality of the entire scene, even the people who own the means of production and the actual property in this case, and it's not lucrative. I mean, it sometimes is, if you're running a bar for normal people and have investment captain etc, but the majority of legit subculture economics is just barely breaking even. every single event is 90% volunteer labor.

the issue of labor is maybe the confusing thing for the zoomers who are confused. goth outfits take actual physical work. maybe the Aspirational Spectacle of Labor that makes up most of TikTok has made it appear unreal to the audience rather than something you can just sit down and do?

it takes forty seconds to make the fishnet tights into a shirt. you don't need instructions, you really can just look at it and figure it out. then you think, hm, if I can make fishnets into a shirt I wonder what other things I can turn into something else. your brain will amaze you. my mom would save her tights from her formal work outfits for me when they got holes or whatever and I would just go crazy with scissors and safety pins. lots of young designers are getting attention for this layered, tights-n-pins look at the moment and it really is a fantastic aesthetic but I wonder if people think there's something special about the people who make these clothes? there isn't. you can just do it at home while you watch trashy youtubes.

one time, around 2008 or so, @gothiccharmschool and I were at the photoshoot for tabletop RPG Unhallowed Metropolis. we were there with a bunch of local goths to all make the pictures for this book together. we had all brought tons of our costumes from home to cobble together outfits for the book illustrations, and there was a moment when I just handed Jilli a pile of black skirts and some pins and said hey Jilli, could you please make me up a bustle skirt for this model real quick while I shoot these other models? and of course she did, and they were beautiful, because she knows exactly what she's doing, and because that's all a bustle is: it's a way of bunching up a skirt with another skirt. you can do it at home. you don't need instructions or to hire a seamstress or watch a video. you can just look at something and say hm does it look like a bustle? let's drape it and play with it and pin whatever works. and then you wear it for the photoshoot, or to the club!!! and then next week you pin it a different way and it's a cape instead and you wear it again!!!!!!!

[thoughtfulfiction]

Stolen Glances

Author’s note: reposting my old work on this side blog! Let me know if you’d like to read a specific one. Thank you for reading!

Warning: alcohol and drinking mentioned

Five days. That wasn’t even a full week. It should be relatively simple. You and your friends were going to spend a few days at the Fern Ridge Reservoir in a luxury home that Justin had rented out for the group. Everyone had their own rooms, the house was massive and you’d get to relax off the grid and recharge your batteries. There was relatively nothing to complain about.

“So…are you going to tell Justin you’re into him yet or just keep torturing yourself?” Your friend Bree asks, snapping you out of your daydream, carrying her bags to the car. The two of you had flown into Oregon from LA and were driving to the lake with Charlie and Tate, two of Justin’s friends that had really become like family to you in the last few years.

“She’s more likely to admit her feelings when she’s dead.” Tate scoffs while grabbing your backpack and shoving it in the trunk. “I want to have faith in you kid but, I just don’t know if you’ve got it in you right now.”

Charlie walks out of his house and hands you your water bottle, “you can tell him when you’re ready. Don’t listen to them, they're just impatient. Like five year olds who keep asking their mom to buy them McDonald’s on the way home.”

You simply nodded, staring daggers at your friends after Charlie came in and defended you. He hopped in the driver’s seat while Bree and Tate sat in the back. Looking out the window, you let your mind roam, both excited and nervous for what this little trip had in store.

It really wasn’t your fault, falling for him was like waking up on the couch with the tv on and not even remembering that you fell asleep. One day he was a good friend, a friend who you met years ago when he was a rookie living in a frat house in Costa Mesa. Then, somewhere along the way you fell for his unwavering kindness and his sense of humor. Or maybe it was the way the corner of his mouth tilts up sometimes in a side grin. Or his ability to always look like he just rolled out of bed but somehow still looked extremely put together. Everything about Justin, especially the little things, made you want him more. You just couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that. Admitting your feelings would just complicate things. And what if he didn’t even feel the same way? The thought of listening to him let you down easy while trying to spare you the embarrassment really just made you want to crawl into a hole on the side of the road and never come out.

So yes, long story short, these so-called “feelings?” You had no choice but to take them to the grave.

“Can we just have a nice relaxing weekend and enjoy ourselves? We can leave the drama and whatever else for when we get back to California, please.”

They simply nodded and you caught Tate and Bree sharing a look but you didn’t want to even think about what that could mean for you, instead deciding to focus on the scenery for another 20 minutes before the house came into view. Charlie started honking as soon as he pulled into the driveway and Gabe came running out, pulling you in for a hug.

“Hey neighbor.” He mutters out, giving you a squeeze.

“We haven’t lived next to each other in four years, Gabe.”

“Best year of my life honestly. I don’t think I’ve had more junk food…ever.”

Bree comes up behind the two of you and gets a hug of her own. “That’s because you and Nabers here kept suggesting pizza and ice cream nights. When y/n told me some NFL guys moved in next door I thought we’d be seeing more vegetables and less Oreos but it really was the best time.”

The guys unloaded all the bags from the car while you and Bree caught up with Gabe’s girlfriend Jordan. She informed you that Justin had gone out to get groceries with one of her good friends that she brought with her.

“Katie just thinks Justin is the sweetest thing ever so I figured why not introduce them. I’m tired of watching her drool over his old Instagram pictures. Hoping to play Cupid this weekend.” She jokes and you force out a small laugh, feeling your stomach turn at what this girl could possibly look like.

An hour later Bree rushes into your room and closes the door behind her after everyone has finally met and introduced themselves. “I know you said no drama but—”

“Nope, I don’t wanna hear it,” you interrupt her while you unpack your bag. “We are in a freaking mansion, on the water. Let’s focus on that!”

“Or…” she sits on the bed, completely interrupting your flow. “We could just acknowledge the fact that she took the room right next to Justin’s after knowing him for approximately two seconds. And she looks like the second coming of Candice Swanepoel. I mean, it’s kind of unfair,” she huffs.

You shake your head with a laugh. “She’s gorgeous, it’s pretty unreal. And definitely unfair. But we are going to focus on other things like having fun, enjoying the weather and spending quality time with our friends. Maybe have a couple strawberry margaritas with sugar on the rim. And we will be nice to Katie, even if she does look like an OG Victoria secret model before SavagexFenty kicked them to the curb. We will be welcoming and nice.”

She looks up at the ceiling like she can’t hear you and then back at you to face your pointed look, warning her to be on her best behavior. “Fine. I will be nice to Candice Jr.”

“Thank you.” You roll your eyes and pat her on the back.

Justin suggested riding jet skis which sounded amazing until Katie said she’d just finished touching up her makeup. Bree was about to make a snide comment but you elbowed her in the side before she could get the words out. Gabe and Jordan were taking a nap and Charlie was on the phone with one of the parents of the high school team he was coaching so you, Bree, Tate and Justin headed out after changing into your swimsuits.

Everyone found a life jacket that fit them just right and you hopped onto the back of Justin’s jet ski.

“Please promise me you won’t drive this thing like a grandma. I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” You joke, grabbing onto his waist. His laugh vibrates against you and you bite back a smile. He takes off and the two of you bounce against the water leaving you holding on for dear life. After a few minutes, you get used to it and it honestly feels freeing, just you and him out on the open water, taking a tour of the homes that are a little ways away until he stops at a man made cave, far away from any prying eyes.

“What are you doing?” You ask, feeling your heartbeat in your ears. Even in the shade, the reflection of the water hitting his eyes made you feel insane. And you couldn’t stop looking at him if you tried, not that you were trying very hard in the first place.

“Have you ever driven a jet ski before?” You shake your head no and he motions for you to switch spots with him. He leans over you to show you where the on switch is and how to work the speed and the brake, curving his hands over yours on the handles.

The smile that is threatening to take over your face is too much, so you settle for a joke. “You, Justin Herbert, giving up…control? This is a moment in history.”

“Just drive,” his cheeks heat up, turning a light shade of pink, “and try to get us back to the house in one piece, please.” You may or may not have driven as fast as you could with a few extra turns just to feel his body against yours for a little bit longer.

Although the afternoon was a victory, the evening brought you right back to reality. Katie had practically been glued to his side ever since you came back to the house. She sat next to him at dinner and practically jumped into the loveseat after he sat down for movie night. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and walked into the kitchen to grab some kettle corn, taking your time in the kitchen before eventually making your way back to your seat. Luckily it was a movie you’d seen a dozen times so you weren’t missing anything. If anything, the movie in front of you was nothing compared to the horror film to your right, so Charlie cracked a joke to get you out of your head. Justin was so focused on watching his friend make you laugh that he didn’t even realize that Katie had fallen asleep on his shoulder, holding onto his arm like it was her personal body pillow. You caught a glimpse of the domestic scene that looked straight out of a romcom and it almost made you want to call it a night right then and there. But you sat through it and watched some random girl cozy up to the man you’d had serious feelings for…for the last year.

The next morning, you woke up later than usual. Truth was, you hadn’t gotten much sleep since you were thinking about Justin and Katie all night and you needed something else to focus on. You walked into the bathroom you were sharing with Bree to brush your teeth and get ready for the day.

When you swung the door open you froze, staring for a brief moment before covering your eyes. “Um—I’m so sorry I had no idea you were in here! Why, why are you in here? Doesn’t the master bedroom have a bathroom attached?”

Justin quickly covered up, grabbing his towel and wrapping it around his waist. “Bree liked the mirror in my bathroom so I let her use it. I thought the door was locked, how did you get in?”

“The lock is broken, Bree didn’t tell you that?”

He lets out a nervous laugh, “she may have neglected to mention that.” You were going to kill her.

“I’m gonna—I’m gonna go. So sorry again for the—you know what? I’m just gonna leave and we can act like this didn’t happen.” You close the door before he can utter a word and you head back to your room, silently praying that no one finds out about this.

He couldn’t take it anymore. You were avoiding him like the plague the entire day. Since the morning you’d hardly looked at him, even when he pulled you aside to assure you that your little encounter this morning, although awkward, was totally fine. He even sat through watching you and Charlie go tubing together and share a pizza at lunch, but his final straw was when he saw you taking a nap together in Charlie’s bed with the tv playing. The two of you had always been close but the quarterback couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something more was going on and he didn’t like it. This trip was supposed to be about him getting to spend some quality time with you before training camp and Charlie knew that. Nothing was going according to plan and Justin knew he had to do something about it.

He rushed to get ready for dinner and let out a sigh of relief when he found you in the kitchen. “I know it’s none of my business but, is there something going on with you and Charlie?”

You took a big breath, not exactly ready to have this conversation and yet here you were. “No,” you state blankly, “there’s nothing going on between Charlie and I.”

“Then what’s going on? You’ve barely said two words to me all day so there has to be a problem.” Justin knew he had no right to be jealous, especially of one of his best friends but something was just nagging at him to keep asking questions. It was like word vomit and he couldn’t stop.

“Why are we even talking about this right now? It’s really not a big deal Justin, seriously, just let it go please.”

He clearly wasn’t having your attempts to dodge him. “No! I'm not going to let it go until you tell me. I mean, if this is about this morning I thought we handled that.” You don’t miss the subtle clench in his jaw. His patience is quickly running out and you really don’t get why this has him so worked up. Possibly because you’re so focused on your own rollercoaster of emotions.

“It’s not about this morning!” You blurt out. He was backing you into a corner, literally.

His pleading eyes were begging you to talk to him. “Then what is it about?”

“You! It’s about you. How I feel about you is a problem. It is THE problem, okay?” You shake your head, mentally shutting down at the look on his face. There it was, that horrible look you wished you’d never see…pity. Honestly? It looked worse in real life than it ever had in your nightmares and the sigh he gave you afterwards was just the icing on the humiliation cake.

“Y/n, I—”

“Are you guys ready to head out for dinner?” Gabe pops his head in, catching an immediate whiff of the uncomfortable air in the room. “Uh sorry. Was I interrupting something?”

“No.” You fold your arms across your chest, creating a physical and emotional barrier between the two of you.

“Yes,” Justin says at the same time, furrowing his eyebrows and giving you a sideways glance, his gaze softening at your watery eyes.

“You didn’t interrupt anything,” you huff out with a sniff, after a quick swipe under your eye you step around the man who was whispering for you to wait. You ignored him and kept moving your way out of the house, sliding into the car without turning back. Charlie took one look at you and asked if everything was okay but you really weren’t sure how to answer. How you were really feeling would surely bring you to tears and you really didn’t feel like crying in a car full of people.

That evening, your phone lit up as you sat motionless in your bed, contemplating going home the next morning. Of course it was a text from Justin.

I know you’re awake, I can’t sleep either. Can we please talk?

You texted him back a simple “fine” and there were two tiny knocks on your door less than a minute later. He was probably standing outside your room door when he texted.

“We didn’t get to finish our conversation earlier.” His voice is even deeper due to the exhaustion. You didn’t even think that was possible.

“I said everything I needed to,” you say with a casual shrug.

“Well good because I need you to listen,” Justin closes the door behind him and takes in a breath. “You’re one of my best friends…”

“Oh god please. You don’t have to let me down gently. I’m a big girl I can—”

“I’m not done. And I’m not—I’m not letting you down gently. I’m not letting you down at all. You have been one of the most consistently good things in my life and somewhere along the way you became a lot more than consistency. You’ve become somewhat of a necessity, an essential part of my life that I don’t think I can or want to live without.” He sighs, running a hand over his face with a sigh and you just stand there, limbs shaking in anticipation, waiting for him to get to his main point.

Justin closes his eyes, visibly collecting himself and his thoughts. “What I’m trying to say is that you aren’t the only one with feelings here. And that your feelings? They aren’t a problem.”

“You—you mean that you share the…you like me too?” You laugh a little, in complete disbelief.

He steps toward you, nodding with a smile of his own. “I really like you.”

“Wait…but what about Cand—Katie? She’s gorgeous, fun and is super into you. Plus she looks borderline perfect in the morning from what I gathered. I’m pretty sure I drool in my sleep sometimes and I have eye boogers.”

That really sends him over the edge and he covers his mouth to stifle a laugh. “It’s a good thing I love eye boogers, they’re my favorite.”

You smack his chest at the playful joke and his energy pulls you in, pressing your bodies together like magnets. And right there you feel like a kid again, standing next to your crush with your heart racing. He leans down and his lips brush against yours and he asks if this is okay, causing you to nod because obviously you want this with him, and more. Your lips fit together seamlessly and he tilts your head up by lightly cupping your face, running his thumb across the length of your jaw while deepening the kiss. Your entire body is covered in goosebumps even though the kiss is so soft and gentle. He pulls away slightly, pecking your lips after he takes a second as to not rush into things too quickly, waiting too long to ruin the moment. Pure bliss coats all of his senses as he begins peppering your face with more feathery kisses, silently willing himself to always remember the softness of your skin and how amazing it feels to finally be this close.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” the grin he’s sporting is taking over his entire being and before you can respond he’s kissing you again. You happily oblige, smiling against his lips with a satisfied hum.

The next morning you were pretty sure you were still smiling. You woke up feeling super comfortable, turning around to catch a glimpse of him, thinking about pinching yourself to make sure this was real. He looks so peaceful, his clothed chest moving up and down rhythmically, a slight pout on his face. You can’t help but run your fingers through his hair, smiling to yourself once again when he begins to stir in his sleep. With his eyes still closed, he pulls you into his arms, lazily kissing you like he’s been doing this for years.

“Good morning,” he whispers, his eyes finally open, looking alert and bright.

“Good morning, I cannot believe you practically tackled me first thing in the morning. I probably have morning breath.”

“You don’t and even if you did, I wouldn’t care. And you don’t have eye boogers or drool on your face, you look really good first thing in the morning. The most incredible sight to wake up to.” You want to kiss him again but you decide it’s best to hold off, leaning over to check the time on his phone. “It’s 5am, you should probably head back to your room before everyone wakes up and this turns into a CIA interrogation.”

He chuckles, kissing your forehead before he gets up to stretch out his limbs. “We have all the time in the world to figure this out when we get back to LA, keeping this between us is probably our best bet for now. I do not want to hear all of Tate’s questions. And Gabe would be even worse, he’s been telling me to do this for years.”

You tilt your head towards him and whisper yell, “you’ve thought about this for years and didn’t say anything?”

“Yeah, you’re not the only one who was helplessly pining over someone and refused to say anything about their feelings out of fear of rejection. I was scared too. And now I’m not. Now, I’m going to head back to my bed and count down the minutes until I get to kiss you again.”

You shake your head, laying back down ready for your second round of sleep. “You’re a dork.”

“I am. And that is your favorite thing about me. Get some sleep, I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Waking up again around 8:30, you realize that skipping out on dinner last night has come back to haunt you. Gingerly walking down the stairs as to not wake anyone up, you tip toe into the kitchen quietly, only to find Katie already up and pouring a glass of orange juice.

“Good morning,” she sings, looking bright and cheery. Maybe in another life she was Giselle from Enchanted because she could definitely be some sort of Disney princess. “I’m so glad you’re awake because I need some advice. Do you think Justin would want pancakes or waffles? I wanna surprise him with this breakfast tray and I just want everything to look right you know? So what do you think?”

I think his tongue was practically down my throat last night and he’d probably want to have me for breakfast but I can’t say any of that. “Um let’s see. Definitely pancakes and skip out on the orange juice cause he’ll probably want some coffee.” As painful as it is to help her, you know this small sacrifice will pay off. You’ve basically already got the guy, there’s no use in rubbing it in the poor girl’s face when you won’t be seeing her anymore two days from now.

Katie nods excitedly, prepping her pancake batter and thanking you several times. You settle for a bagel with cream cheese and head back upstairs to get ready for the day. The afternoon isn’t very eventful, you realize that the guys had already left for a fishing expedition earlier in the morning so Katie’s breakfast was cold by the time Justin got back. He looked at you hesitantly, waiting for you to nod your head before he thanked her and tossed the food in the microwave. Jordan suggested the group go out to a bar/club that night since you and Bree had been mentioning these famous strawberry margaritas since the day you arrived.

The music was loud as soon as you walked in. Gabe ordered the first round of drinks and you snuck out of the booth to reapply some mascara while the other girls browsed the marg menu. A knock on the door startles you into dropping your makeup in the sink.

“Occupied!” You yell out.

“It’s me.” Smiling to yourself at the familiar voice, you lock the door behind you when Justin walks in.

“Hi.”

Your face is in his hands with the mascara long forgotten as he softly says “c’mere,” leaning down to capture your lips with your back still against the door. He tastes like the shot of Don Julio you all just took and a little bit of mint. Your hand is in his hair again, pulling it ever so slightly so you are still as close to him as humanly possible without standing on your toes. Justin knows you both have to be back soon before anyone notices but the thought of your body not being practically glued to his makes him really want to go home. The kiss today is sloppier than last night, there’s more urgency, more fire. Neither of you thought it could get better but your hands are all over each other, your arms struggling to wrap itself around his bicep and at some point he had a handful of your ass. Not that you were complaining.

The kiss leaves you breathless, letting out a soft laugh as you pat him on the chest. “We should stop. I don’t want to but, we have to unfortunately.”

His lips curl into a small frown, almost a pout and you are seconds away from kissing him again. “I know. You should go first and I’ll be right out. Definitely need to splash some cold water on my face or something, I need a minute.”

Nodding your head in understanding, you step out to give him some space, but not before he grabs your hand and kisses the inside of your wrist.

An hour later you’re two margs and two shots in. Katie has been hanging all over Justin as soon as he got back from the bathroom and it’s taking everything in you to prevent yourself from yelling at her to get her hands off of him. And bless his heart he really is trying to keep his distance, catching your eye with an apologetic look every time she finds her way next to him again but it’s really getting exhausting.

“We should go dance!” Bree exclaims, snapping you out of your jealous rage. You nod immediately, desperate to look at anything other than what is happening at your table.

🎶H-O-T-T-O-G-O

Snap and clap and touch your toes

Raise your hands, now body roll

Dance it out, you're hot to go

H-O-T-T-O-G-O

Snap and clap and touch your toes

Raise your hands, now body roll

H-O-T-T-O-G-O🎶

You found yourself singing your heart out with not only Bree but some guys that also knew every word to the song. Getting lost in the moment and also not being remotely close to being sober you danced, letting him grab your hand and spin you around as Chappell Roan continued to play.

“I’m Matt,” the stranger tells you when the song is finished.

You hold your hand out, “y/n. You’re not a bad duet partner Matt.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” he laughs, still holding onto you.

An awkward silences washes over the moment when you begin to sober up a bit and pull your hand back. “I need to grab some water, excuse me.”

“Hello! Earth to y/n! That guy was cute and totally into you. What the hell is your problem?” Bree lectures you as you sit at the bar.

He’s cute but he’s not Justin, you think to yourself. “I just needed a drink that was a lot of dancing and it’s hot out there.”

Your excuse is pointless because you feel a presence behind you. “Can I get three waters please?”

Bree looks at Matt, thanking him and grabbing her water bottle to give you some privacy. He settles in the bar stool next to you and slides the water in your direction. “Are you from here? Because I’d remember a face like that walking around.”

The sentiment would usually make you feel good but now you just wished a certain someone was giving you flirty compliments. “I’m only here for a few more days unfortunately. Then it’s back to real life.”

“Well maybe I could convince you to come back? Make this some sort of regular thing? Us seeing each other?”

Back at the table, Justin was staring daggers at the bar area. As soon as Bree sat down without you, Tate asked where you were.

“Attagirl.” The football player heard his friend say and he moved around in his seat to get release the building tension in his shoulders. Katie was next to him saying something but all he could focus on was how close this guy was sitting next to you. Did the chairs really need to be that close?

“Bro, Justin.“ Charlie snaps in his face.

“What?” His tone was a bit more aggressive and irate than he intended but he couldn’t help it.

“If you hold that bottle any tighter you’re gonna shatter the glass man.”

He hadn’t even noticed he was treating the Nectarine Premiere bottle like it was a stress ball. The man slid it away from him on the table, turning his gaze back to the bar. You were laughing at something the guy was saying and the way the guy was looking at you was eating him alive.

Katie placed her hand on his thigh and kept going with her story that she’d been telling. Justin couldn’t take it anymore.

He plucked her hand off of him and got up when he saw you and the guy heading outside. “Excuse me.” The group watched him take several long strides until he was out the door.

Matt looks up with his mouth open as soon as Justin comes into view. “Dude, you’re Justin Herbert! I’m a huge fan man I bought your jersey last year. Wear it every Sunday.”

“It’s uh—it’s nice to meet you…”

“Oh it’s Matt.”

“Matt,” he says slowly trying to get rid of the bitterness in his voice but it doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Matt is too busy being a fanboy to see that anything is wrong. They take a selfie and Justin sends him on his way, the fan now too excited to have remembered he was trying to get your number.

Justin blows out a breath, staring at you until he hears you laugh. “This isn’t funny,” he groans.

“On the contrary, it’s hilarious. I’ve had to deal with it for the last three days. You didn’t even last an hour before running over here and putting a stop to it.”

“I didn’t run,” he counters, “I walked—very quickly. Not my fault I have long legs.”

You take a sip of your water. “Sure. Now how are you going to get yourself out of this? We said we weren’t going to tell them until we talked about what this is.”

“We did say that but I know what this is. I want to be with you. I want to kiss you, hold your hand, dance with you. I want…I want us to be together. That was the whole point of this trip.”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you urge him to explain. “I told Charlie I was ready. Planned this entire getaway to have one last trip before camp but I also didn’t want to leave again without telling you how I feel. What better place to tell someone you love them than at the lake?”

“You love me?”

He grabs your hand, feeling a sudden need for you to anchor him to the ground. “I love everything about you. I’m just sorry it took me this long to tell you the truth.”

“Better late than never. I love you too, a lot.”

He smiles again, a weight lifted off of him that he’d been carrying for quite some time. Justin is so happy that he doesn’t think he’s capable of words right now.

“Come here,” you tell him and he immediately closes any distance between you.

You give him a slow kiss, knowing you have all the time in the world to get to be with him.

Until a knock on the window startles you apart.

“I FREAKING KNEW IT!” Bree yells.

“Finally.” Charlie says shaking his head.

Justin rests his forehead against yours, too far gone to even care about PDA. He’d deal with the consequences later. “Do we have to go back in there and answer all their questions?”

“I think I’m gonna need one more kiss before we go,” you whisper.

Your brand new boyfriend nods in excitement, leaning in immediately. “Yes ma’am.”

[servantofthefates]

Life-Changing Money Manifestation Tip 💰

This is not a technique I learned from books, or a principle my elders taught me. It is simply something I have observed to be unfailingly effective.

I know it might seem counterintuitive, impractical, and perhaps even downright foolish. But it has been consistently true for me and the people around me.

The tip is: Never ever be frugal with money.

Even when you're afraid you won't have enough, be open-handed with your spending. Spend on your needs, spend on your wants, spend on others who deserve your generosity. Just. Keep. Spending.

The fuck, right? What if you already don't have enough to begin with?

Well, you know how they say, "Love is infinite" or "There's enough love to go around" or "Love multiplies, it doesn't divide"?

The same is true for money.

Money is energy. It just happens to have physical manifestations like coins, bills or gold.

Love too is energy. It just happens to have physical manifestations like kisses, words or gifts.

And it is common knowledge that if we wish to be loved, we must first love ourselves, and give love freely to those who are worth it. We must let love flow through us.

Same with money. If we want to have it, we must first spend it on ourselves and give it freely to those we deem worth it. We must let money flow through us.

And flow it will.

Just as it is nearly impossible for a cold-hearted person to invite love, it is also very hard for a stingy person to invite money.

I have seen this first-hand many times.

This man owned a boutique advertising agency. He gave out bonuses and free international trips to his team the way corporations give out cheap pizzas to their employees. And back then, this man's business thrived. Some months, he made more than global agencies did. And the awards were pouring in too. He was on top of the world.

Suddenly, his elderly mother got terribly sick, and he panicked. He knew he had to spend a fortune on her medical bills, and his fear got the best of him. So he cancelled the free trips. He stopped giving bonuses. Eventually, he even cut down salaries and moved to a smaller office.

One year later, his business went bankrupt. Because all his talented employees left. And with that, the trust of his clients dried out. His business — which had the potential to become an empire — ended up becoming just a TikTok trend.

Because he held on to money too tightly... money felt suffocated and walked out on him entirely.

The opposite example is me. No, I do not also own an ad agency. But I have learned to never worry about money. And since then, money has never disappointed me.

Last year, someone dear to me had been praying for a MacBook, but her parents couldn't afford it. I too couldn't afford it. Not without digging into my savings. So I did. Because I know money will always come back to me. And it did.

Two days after I placed the order, I received an email from Shareworks that my stocks were ready to be withdrawn. The amount? Double what I paid for the Mac. These stocks are released yearly, so I tend to forget about them. But they came at the right time.

And it is like this every time.

I buy a Louis Vuitton bag with money meant for my holiday. Suddenly, a friend invites me to go with them on a fully paid trip to the same country I was planning to visit.

I buy a bunch of tarot decks with a week's worth of transportation costs, and my company announces we're working from home for a week while they repair some rain damage.

I buy a box of Patchi chocolates when I'm already short on my monthly budget, and my salary gets released early because it's the holidays, and the CEO is feeling friendly.

I know life is not always as sweet as I described it to be. Sometimes, it's not about Louis Vuittons and Patchis, but about diapers and cough medicine. I am perfectly aware some people are struggling — not about holidays and tarot splurges, but about keeping the electricity on and putting food on the table. I will not pretend to know the solution to their hardships.

What I do know is there are people who are considered poor in my community who are seriously way happier than me. And I know I have had bosses who made thrice as I did who were far more miserable than me.

And that tells me that despite our different stations in life, energy is energy. And it's always best to let it flow freely.

So I repeat... never ever be frugal with money.

When it knocks on your door, say, "Hey, nice to see you!" When it leaves your house, say, "See you again soon!" And when it finally seems to be making itself at home, do not lock it in the basement. Cook dinner with it. Invite your friends over. Watch a movie. Do karaoke. Look money in the eyes and say, "I'm glad you've decided to stay."

[julieloves074]

I'm yours (Alex Walter x Reader)

Summary: When Jackie comes to town your best friend, and childhood crush, Alex Walter falls head over heels leaving you left behind but when you attend Will's wedding with someone something changes...

Warnings: Swearing, kissing, heartbreak

Words: 6.1k

(Not my GIF :))

The day Jackie arrived in town was an interesting one to say the least. The Walter house was a second home to me all my life, growing up at the ranch next door meant I grew up chasing around the fields with the Walter kids.

It was during dinner at theirs, Walter games night, that Katherine announced her dearest friend had passed away in a car accident and her daughter was going to move in with them. The reactions around the table were mixed, but mostly everyone was just shocked. Over the next months there were whispers and chatter, but I was not prepared for what it would be like when she arrived.

“Morning,” Katherine says when I walked through the front door, her and George were putting on their shoes and jackets.

“Off to get Jackie?” I asked already knowing the answer, I was curious about her, it would be nice to have another girl around.

“Yeah, are you staying around for dinner tonight? It’ll be nice for Jackie to have another girl around today I reckon,” Katherine asked, quite literally reading my mind.

“That would be nice thank you,” I answered, and George let out a laugh opening the door, Katherine gave him an inquisitive look, one brow raised.

“I thought we were past asking each other stuff like that Y/n practically lives here,” Katherine and I looked at each other and burst into a giggle, he wasn’t wrong.

“Alright well we better be off, Alex is in the living room with Issac playing some kind of video game,” Katherine announced grabbing her coat and leaning over to kiss the top of my head.

I muttered back a thanks and headed deeper in the Walter house and to no surprise I found my best friend exactly where Katherine said.

“Y/n hey!” Alex examined practically jumping out of his seat

“Dude! Dude the game- we’ve nearly-” Issac stood with the remote but quickly slumped back down into his seat as the television made a noise to signify the end of the game, “What the hell Alex, that was the closest we’ve ever gotten!” he continued to complain.

“Y/n’s here,” Alex simply pointed out, that Goofy smile on his face, all his teeth showing in his grin.

“Yeah, yeah Y/n’s here,” Issac mocked rolling his eyes at his cousin but giving me a smile and a fist bump as he walked past.

Soon enough Alex and I found ourselves laying around on the sofa with snacks and a random film on. I suggested we head outside, I wanted to work on my tan but he said him and Cole argued again and he was out there with some of the other Walter siblings. I tried not to roll my eyes, I know these boys love and care for each other so why make it so difficult.

“Your parents out of town again?” he sat up to look at me, I reluctantly tuned my head away from the tv and put down the popcorn bowl on the coffee table.

“Uh yeah, they’ve got another showcase a couple towns over, won’t be longer than three days,” I answered, mom and dad were well known by their refined tastes, before I was born they started being judges in all kinds of food showcases all around the country, it all slowed down after I was born but they were still offered lots of positions and sometimes they just couldn’t say no.

“You’re more than welcome to crash here,” Alex said, some of his smile seemed to crumble a little. It’s not that my parents weren’t good parents we just weren’t as close as the Walters and that was that. Plus, I have school, even if I wanted to travel with them when they did it wasn’t always possible.

“Hey, I need to look after Daisy,” I said with a smile, my golden retriever could not sleep unless she’s  in one of our beds, “Plus everyone else is still there,” I said confidently kicking his leg to brighten his mood. Mom and dad offer a program where you can come live on the ranch and help with the work for a small wage and all accommodation provided, people who want to travel jump at the opportunity all the time, we have a waitlist, it’s nice being able to meet people from all around the world.

“You know I’m always here for you right?” He asked all serious, hand reaching out to touch mine, I gave him a smile and his hand a squeeze and pulled him into a hug. It felt different somehow these last couple of weeks. I’ve liked Alex, like liked Alex for as long as I could remember and recently it started feeling like maybe he liked me too.

“I know, I’m here for you too,” I whisper back.

“We’re back!” George’s voice announced to the house, Alex stayed sitting on the sofa, but I walked up to the doorway.

“Jackie this is Y/n, Y/n Jackie,” Katherine said with a bright smile. I gave the girl a smile, she looked exactly as I expected she would, beautifully luscious hair and clothes with a scarily perfect posture.

“Hi,” I said reaching out my hand,” I live next door but half the time I swear I spend more time here,” I laugh, and a smile appears on her face, and she shakes my hand.

“Oh, and this is Alex,” Katherine says as we walk past the living room, my eyes go to him like muscle memory, but his don’t even glance my way, he’s looking at her. I feel something then near my heart, a new kind of pain, but I put on a brave smile.

“Theres still two bags in the car would you mind getting them?” George asked Alex who shook himself slightly out of his trance. He stood quickly and headed towards the front door.

Unsure what to do with myself, this was a new feeling, I followed Katherine and Jackie to the kitchen, she poured us some lemonade when her phone started to ring, and she excused herself. From what I gathered she was being called for a job, Katherine was incredibly hard working and did not get half the recognition she deserved.

She apologised and said she was needed for an animal emergency. The job of showing Jackie around was passed onto me and Will who had just walked through the door and introduced himself.

We headed outside and finally I was blessed with the rays of sunshine dancing on my skin, the weather was truly magnificent. Will continued pointing everyone out to Jackie and I looked at each of the Walters outside in turn, I really was lucky to be surrounded by these people, and Jackie would soon know that she ended up with the most loving people in the world.

“Who’s that?” she whispered to me when a certain blonde, very dramatically, flipped back his hair and climbed out of the pool. I shook my head turning to see her practically gaping at him and let out a giggle.

“That’s Cole, the big flirt of the town,” I explained, her eyes never left him.

“Do you want to introduce yourself?” Will asked, he was too busy answering Parker’s question to hear Jackie and I.

Cole sat back on one of the lounge chairs brushing his hair back with one hand, the other already resting under his head. He opened his eyes ever so slightly to look in our direction, “She’ll figure it out,” he said in that teasing Cole voice.

“Told ya,” I continued, and Jackie laughed, I looped my arm through hers, ‘I’ll show you to your room then,”

“And Cole and I will start brining up your belongings right?” Will commanded more than questioned, Cole let out a groan but got up.

After a few minutes Alex had bought up Jackie’s other two bags and started helping Cole bring up her boxes of stuff which there seemed to be a lot of. I sat there with Jackie helping her unpack her suitcases and giving her some insight into town and the school. I had to watch both the Walter brothers try to make her laugh and shine their beautiful eyes at her each time they interchangeably came up.

“So, are you related to the Walters or?” She asked when Alex left after dropping off another box, I couldn’t help but let out an audible laugh.

“Oh no, no, I’ve grown up next door so basically know them since we were all in diapers, but no not related” I explained and she nodded, placing some stationary precisely on her desk, “So if you ever needany blackmail let me know,” I whispered and we laughed together. Katherine was right, I hope I was making this easier for her.

Katherine arrived back in time for dinner, George prepared a barbeque, Alex and I set up some tables outside and bought paper plates. It almost seemed like any other dinner apart from the fact that Alex spent almost all of it staring or talking to Jackie. He wasn’t the only one though. Cole. This was my new reality I realised and start bracing myself mentally.

Even with the family’s insistence I left right after dinner with the excuse that I had some last minute homework I needed to finish for tomorrow’s English class. It had been a long day, and I just needed some space to process and breathe.

I was almost to the gate when Alex ran up to me, “Hey you alright?” he asked walking alongside me, I nodded and told him that I still needed to finish reading that one short story, which was true, and before he could tell me to just read his copy hear I asked him a question.

“What do you think of Jackie?”

“She’s, uh, she seems really nice,” he almost seemed a little flushed, “I’m excited to get to know here, I think she’ll like it here,” he said, “What about you? You guys seemed to get cozy gossiping away”

“She seems lovely, this obviously isn’t easy for her, it’ll be nice to have a girl my age around the ranch,” I said honestly, things were going to be different now, so I just had to learn to roll with it and make the best of it, even though I see exactly how this is going to play out, I need to gossip with Danny about it, see if he agrees.

***

It’s been just over two weeks since Jackie has arrived at the ranch, and so far things have been pretty normal, if not better. We hung out every day, I showed her around school, we avoided Erin together and I introduced her to Tara and Skylar, but her and I got close quickly.

I had to finish my group project with my science class mates and it was the worst experience of my life, they were all absolutely useless, as much as we aren’t really fond of each other I’d hope they’d be able to put those feelings aside just to finish this project but no, they like to make things difficult. Now I wanted nothing more than to flop on Alex’s bed with some ice-cream and complain about it for half hour whilst he tried and is mostly successful in making me laugh.

My plan was not going to go quite as I wanted though, I walk through the farm’s beautiful, wooden gates only to hear Alex and Jackie talking. At first I reminded myself to not think anything of it, they too were starting to become good friends, which was good- so why did it hurt hearing her laugh that enchanting, contagious laugh from inside the barn that contained the loft. Kid’s heaven as we liked to call it. Alex and I called it our getaway when we needed to talk about something serious, it was also a non-judgement zone.

I approached the barn cautiously in hopes of not being spotted, this wasn’t spying it was- information gathering to make the best possible choices going forward. Who am I kidding this was stupid, I needed to walk away or make myself obvious. Running a hand through my hair I turned to walk towards the house, maybe Katherine was around.

“Spying are we y/n/n?” Cole asked, causing me to jump slightly, one of my hands landing on my chest.

“Jesus Cole I’d like to live to my thirties- at least,” I let out wacking him on the arm, he let out a laugh, one too similar yet so different from Alex’s, yet his knowing glance didn’t change, “No I was not spying I just didn’t want to interrupt,” I said defensively brushing past him.

“Whatever you say…” he started, managing to get perfectly in step with me, “Suppose I don’t need to tell you then,” he continued to tease. I kept my sight ahead of me, lips pursing together, running my tongue over my front teeth, I would not give him the satisfaction.

Cole found out about my little thing for Alex from Erin, her and I used to be best friends before she became ‘popular’ she used the information to get Cole’s attention in the first place, but this didn’t mean I needed to give Cole the power now.

We kept walking towards the house in silence, it was eating away at me and my lack of patience. I let out a huff as we got onto the porch, “What were you going to tell me?” I asked reluctantly.

“Oh how I could bully you right now,” he clasped his hands together mischievously and I turned away from him to go into the house, “Okay, okay,” he said grabbing hold of my arm and pulling me back towards him, we both leaned over the railing.

“He likes her doesn’t he?” I asked even though I already knew the answer, I could see Cole nodding his head in the corner of my eye. Damn how quickly Alex Walter fell.

I turned to face him; he kept looking out at the fields.

“You like her too,” I said in a whisper, it was a realisation I hadn’t meant to voice out loud. He sucked in a deep breath.

“I mean I don’t really know her, she just moved her but-”

“You feel like you’ve known each other forever? There’s just something fascinating about her that you can’t let that little flame of hope give out?” I asked, completely monotone, I related too much to what I was saying.

“Wow we’re saddos,” he laughed nudging me to the side.

“Yeah we really are,” I said, leaning against the railing again.

“But you don’t want to hurt him do you? We don’t need a repeat of the Paige situation,” he tensed up at my words, even though Alex is my best friend all of the Walter kids are my friends and they’re all family. I know Cole didn’t know about Paige and everything was blown out of proportion. But the fact that it was all a miscommunication but we were still suffering the consequences now and we did not need another destructive wave.

“Come on lets crash their little moment,” he said changing the subject, refusing to talk about it, the normal playfulness of his voice gone. I sighed and nodded, we headed towards the barn in perfect time to see Alex brushing Jackie’s hair out her face.

“Uh-um” Cole���s voice beamed into the mostly empty building, both of them turned to us and stepped apart.

“Oh y/n I have to show you this new board game Jackie and I bought in an antique shop the other day,” he came towards me, turning around to smile at Jackie once more, “Don’t forget the book, it’ll be nice to talk to someone who actually likes the Hobbit,” he said playfully turning to me, “Unlike some who don’t appreciate the art,” he continued.

That comment should not have hurt as much as it did, it was a light-hearted joke but it felt like it was leaving a gap in my heart causing my heart rate to increase.

“I’ll see you in a bit Jackie,” I said with as much of a smile as I could muster, she nodded back, clearly not wanting to be left alone with Cole after the whole bleach situation, and the good friend part of my didn’t want to leave her stranded, but Cole is a good guy- for the most part- and he deserves a chance to apologise for his sometimes stupid behaviour.

Alex started to describe the game excitedly as we headed towards the house, we were walking up the stairs when a voice called from behind us.

“Hey, Alex, Y/n hold up! I’ll come play with you!” Jackie shouted jogging to come meet us, and that’s how I ended up playing a board game with the two of them subtly flirting for two hours before finally having a chance to excuse myself.

***

Mom and dad have never gone away over a holiday before, but this thanksgiving I was left all alone in our house. Or more accurately I was being left with the Walters. This was a different kind of travel though. My grandmother from my dad’s side was getting continuously worse but they didn’t want to interrupt my holidays and wanted to keep me in a routine, so they asked me to stay and took Daisy with them.

I had slept at the Walter house last night, Jackie and I fell asleep on the sofa watching Lemonade Mouth, I knew Jackie was dreading today and did not want to cook so I promised I’d cover for her and cook a plate in her honour instead while she went on her food delivery rounds. Little did she know her uncle Richard was coming to the dinner.

I wasn’t supposed to know either but I had accidently walked in when Katherine was on the phone to him and she did a little excited dance move when I assumed he agreed. I think this will be good for her, seeing a familiar face. Getting her to come back to the house for dinner without revealing the surprise was going to be harder.

I thanked Katherine for grabbing the supplies for some bacon-topped green bean casserole, mom’s favourite recipe and stepped into my chef era in the kitchen. My side dish can be eaten cold or heated up so I decided to cook before everyone else piled into the kitchen.

Singing along to one of my playlists I moved around the kitchen like it was my dance floor, I’m not a fantastic cook, but I’m not the worst so I just tried to make it fun whilst stimulating my short attention span.

I heard footsteps and a voice, not a great one, joining in. I smiled and looked up from the cutting board to see Alex dancing awkwardly around the kitchen island.

“Oh I love this song,” he enthused coming towards me, I tried to move away and resist, but he took the knife out of my hand cautiously and pulled me closer, both his hands in mine and we rushed around the kitchen singing our favourite song. I should have known the second this tune came on it would act as a whistle to the Walter boy.

He twirled me around five or six times causing me to get a little dizzy, we giggled like five year olds without a care in the world. Unfortunately, as the song came to end so did our moment. We stood there for a couple moments trying to catch our breaths. I couldn’t help but gleam.

One look at Alex’s red, out of breath face and I burst into laughter again.

“Stop it! Come on stop  it I need to breath,” he managed to get out between attempted breaths and laughter.

“Well, I didn’t know you were such a confident dancer Walter,” I said winking at him. He smacked my arm walking around to put some bacon in his mouth, “Leave it alone or we’ll have none for later,” I chided playfully.

“More of a confident dancer than a confident cook,” he said and I couldn’t agree with him more, “Thankfully mom has let me get away with just making the mash this year,” and we all thanked her for it.

“Do you remember that time you were trying to cook some chicken and somehow managed to get it spilt half over the floor and the rest drowning under the undercooked cheese sauce and almost gave both of us food poisoning?” I asked chucking a green bean into my mouth. He covered his eyes with his hands and sighed at the memory.

“How many times can I apologise for that? Also come on I was like twelve, how much can a twelve year old boy know about cooking?!” He asked running a hand down his face.

“Well, I’d assume more than that, your mom and dad are incredible cooks,” I said, then got interrupted when the phone on the counter started playing a happy tune, it wasn’t mine.

Alex picked up his phone to look at the caller before turning back to me, “Give me a sec just gotta answer this,” he said before sitting down and speaking into the phone. I run my hand over my nose and returned back to my station and cutting up the bacon into smaller slices, every now and then looking up to Alex, watching the smile that takes over his whole face, trying to guess who was on the other side of the phone even though deep down I think I already knew.

“Yes Jackie I’ll make sure to remind you about that later, okay bye,” he said followed by a laughter. My suspicions were confirmed and all of a sudden there was nothing more interesting in the room other than my cutting board, I was nearly done then I could get out of here for a couple of hours. If Jackie could so could I, especially considering I didn’t actually live here.

“I’m going to talk to her today, I’m going to tell her how I feel,” Alex announced bravely.

My hands stopped in motion, and I looked up at him, not quite sure I heard him right, “ You’re going to do what? Do you really think that’s the right thing to do? I mean especially now at thanksgiving when she’s missing her family and-” I started but cut myself off before I could ruin Jackie’s surprise for anyone else.

“Things have been going really well y/n, I thought you’d be happier for me if I’m honest,” a bit of his smile faded and I looked back down at my cutting board, throwing the rest of the bacon into my casserole.

“I just meant you guys live together, let’s say things go south, what happens then?”

“Why do you always have to be so negative about this, every time I talk to you about Jackie you get like this,” he was hurt, I could tell by the slightly change in his tone.

“I’m being realistic, you’ve got to think about the rest of the family as well,” I defended myself turning around to wash up everything I used I wanted to add you’ve got to think about me, how after all this time, when we too acted like that can you didn’t see me too.

He huffed and then just as his steps came closer they got further way, and with each beat my heart sunk further and further.

I spent the dinner watching him watch her, watching Cole watch her, and the whole debacle with her uncle go down and Erin sat two seats down from me- what was happening? How quickly do things go so out of control. He wouldn’t even spare me a glance, all of a sudden I felt invisible at the Walter table, which now I suppose that could happen effortlessly with purely the number of us.

We all sat in the living room later that evening, after Jackie decided she was going to stay, playing card games and laughing along to some general knowledge game show where people were barely ever right because the questions were so bizarre. Jackie left after a little while claiming she just needed some time to process this whole day.

What hurt was the way Alex followed her up a few minutes later like a lost puppy. I knew where he was going, what he was going to do and say, it was making me feel physically sick. Like someone was squashing both my stomach and my heart at the same time. I went to get some water. I took a few deep breaths while standing at the sink, but I still felt like I couldn’t breathe so I went out towards the barn. I sat on the fence and looked out onto the ranch, not allowing myself to look back at the house.

That wasn’t the worst of it though. I thought it couldn’t get worse, more painful, but never say never. Jackie called me up to her room later, I’m staying the night at the Walter’s for two more nights until my parents got back. Hearing her explain what happened in detail was much, much worse than sitting on the fence outside and imagining how it played out.

She sounded so excited talking about how they kissed and how he gave her this whole cute proclamation, she didn’t realise that every word, every description she gave me pushed a knife a little deeper into my heart. He took her to our spot where when the sun starts going down it shimmers perfectly between two tall trees. I nodded along and tried my best to feign excitement, but I couldn’t tell how good of a job I was doing, she was too caught up in her giddiness to notice if I was doing a shit job.

I knew it could be worse though I told myself, this whole explanation could be coming out of Alex’s mouth, and if it did I think I would actually, physically be sick. I couldn’t see him right now or talk to him. I needed to not be at the Walter house for a couple of days so I could avoid the incoming PDA.

I told Katherine one of the volunteers ended up coming back early after the holiday and that I offered to go spend the evening with them, so they weren’t alone, she wasn’t too thrilled about the idea but she let me go, I think she sensed my urgency but didn’t want to press. I think she probably knew more about what was at play here than we realised.

***

Over the next couple of weeks, the sight of Jackie and Alex became imprinted in my mind. I didn’t avoid either of them, but I didn’t go out my way to spend time with them either, mostly because they were always together and always touching, but it’s not like they showed much of an effort to reach out to me either. I knew of course that they were in the honeymoon stage, but I also knew the best way to stop breaking my heart was to limit contact.

When I realised that this thing was going to be a thing for a while I started reaching out to my other peers more, hanging out with new people in the time I used to spend with the Walter’s and Jackie. Turns out one guy from my science group was actually quite nice, and he wasn’t bad looking. No matter what he was not Alex but I could see myself being happy with Seb. We talked, called, and hung out more and more until we officially started dating, he agreed to attend the oldest Walter brother’s wedding with me which was kind of him since he didn’t really know any of them very well. I think that was why I was drawn to him; he was outside this bubble and I desperately wanted to get out too.

 “Aren’t you excited? You love the Walters,” Seb asked as we walked through the big wooden gate. My arm was looped through his. I took a deep breath and smiled, it was genuine, I was excited that Will and Hayley were finally doing what was going to make them happy and that we all got to be here to celebrate with them, in the place that we all love. Mom and dad already joined the Walter’s earlier to help set up.

We were met with the twins by the entrance to the field, and for today the wedding venue, many guests were already sitting down, Nathan sat on the other side of the gate tuning his guitar, I’m so glad they let him do this, it’ll be a memory he’ll hold for the rest of his life.

“You look beautiful,” Danny said as we got into conversation, Seb was seemingly finding many common subjects for them to talk about but my mind was distracted as I tried to stop myself from looking around and looking for him. Blue was my colour he’s said it himself many times before, maybe he’ll give me a compliment too, like he used to.

“Looking good Jackie,” Danny said as she came our way, mom said she basically planned this whole event by herself.

“You look great Jackie,” I added with a smile, she also wore a beautiful baby blue dress with a shoulder cover, her style choices never missed and whoever came up with the colour scheme should be given a bonus.

“You too Y/n, feels like I barely see you now a days, but we’re seated together so we’ll have the chance to catch up,” she smiled and reached out to hold me hand, “come on lets sit down we’re going to start in a minute”.  I called Seb and we went to sit down.

“Hi y/n you look lovely, Seb,” Alex came up to us to sit next to Jackie, we’ve talked here and there, and god did I miss him and his goofy smile. He put his arm around Jackie and we all talked a little, Seb’s hand landed on my knee and whilst usually it was quite nice right now it felt suffocating, like I was in a prison of my own making.

The actual wedding ceremony was beautiful, they both looked great and you could just tell by the glimmer in their eyes that they’re so in love. Everything was going smoothly until Cole’s speech, he didn’t do anything wrong, he was honest and spoke from the heart, whether I could believe entirely that it was just about Hayley and Will I wasn’t sure but who else but us kids would be able to tell.

It was during the speech that Alex started getting fidgety, I wanted to reach out and hold his hand, run my thumb over his skin soothing him  but I couldn’t, Jackie wasn’t helping much either, staring at Cole as if he’s some kind of god, eyes almost watering as he spoke.

Seb put his arm around me and I learned into him, my head on his shoulder eyes closed. When I opened them back up after Cole finished Alex was looking directly at me. I gave him a smile, but he looked away quickly.

 I regretted complimenting the flowers as soon as Nathan explained their meaning and Jackie’s and Cole’s eyes found each other like magnets again, but when I looked to Alex his eyes were once again on me, he put his arm around Jackie and whispered something in her ear, she nodded but her eyes were cautious, unsure.

The dancing began soon after, Seb quickly asked if I wanted to dance sensing the awkward atmosphere at the table, he wasn’t so good with dealing with awkward bless him. Jackie and Alex didn’t take long to join us, they danced closer together whispering in each other’s ears, his hand ran up and down her arm.

I couldn’t watch any longer, “I’m sorry, I need to just take a second,” I hurried out of Seb’s, who now looked very confused, arms and towards the house. I could hear him faintly asking if he wanted me to come but I couldn’t answer, I grabbed onto my chest trying to get myself to breathe normally. I hope my exit wasn’t as dramatic on the larger scale as it felt.

The downstairs bathroom was girl heaven in this house, the one place where all you could smell was some kind of flowers, every surface was constantly clean and it was a clear zone from the Walter boys.

“Y/n/n,” a voice asked followed by a series of knocks, I would know that secret pattern anyway, I wiped my nose again, I wanted to tell him to go away, I didn’t need him seeing me like this, pitying me. “Come on Y/n can we talk?”, after a few seconds he still stood there, waiting, “I know I’m idiot, please,” this time I could clearly hear the desperation in his voice.

I opened the door and leaned to sit back down on the side of the bath. I didn’t want to meet his eyes. He reached out for my arms and lifted me up, my gaze still on the floor. I wasn’t expecting him to pull me into the biggest embrace of my life. I frozen for a second unable to move, but I melted into the hug, my hands sound their way around his neck and he pulled me closer.

“I’m so sorry Y/n I’ve been an idiot, who didn’t know what good he had until he lost it,” he pulled away just enough to see my face, “and now I’ve made you cry, wow I really am the worst,” I chuckled at this.

“I ended things with Jackie, I think we were both pretending that we worked because we were both scared,” he said with contemplation.

“Scared of what?” I asked but it came out as a whisper.

He looked between both of my eyes, his hands unravelled from around me to secure a place on my face. We were so close I could feel his breath on me.

“To do this,” he whispered back and closed the gap between us, his lips met mine, my hands went to his waist and he pulled me closer and closer. When he pulled away it seemed like I was in some starstruck haze, we’d kissed before at some party playing spin the bottle but that was nothing compared to this.

“Will you forgive me? Can we start this over?” He asked hopefully. I wanted to immediately jump into his arms and kiss him again but then there was Jackie and Seb.

“What about Jackie?” I asked weakly.

“I think we both know her and Cole have had this connection from the beginning it, but I was her safe option, just like she was mine and Seb is yours, my god I couldn’t watch any time his hands came anywhere near you, knowing that should have been me, it could have been me all along,” he said and this time I went on my tip toes, arms around his neck and kissed him like I’ve never been kissed before. Now I would just have to figure out a way to tell Seb.

“Don’t think you’re completely off the hook for ditching me for a girl,” I said walking out of the bathroom with a glance over my shoulder.

“Oh no I know I’ve got to work for it, but where are you going I want to kiss you, I need to kiss you come back!” he called trailing behind me.

“I need to talk to Seb,” I said solemnly, though I’ve got to admit a wedding is the worst place for all of this to work out. Seb was very understanding, I think he could tell what was coming from miles away but wanted to give me the benefit of the doubt. We hugged one last time and he went over to talk to Danny and some of the others.

Jackie started walking towards the barn, Cole must have ran away too, I chuckled to myself, she turned around for a second meeting my eye. She gave me a bright smile and put up both her thumbs up at me, I put a thumbs up back, and that was how I knew we were okay.

“So you want to dance?” Alex asked pulling my attention back to him. I agreed but only if it was proper dancing not whatever weird arm tugging thing he was doing with Jackie.

And so we danced the night away, all of us kids being the last ones left out in the night. We sat around and talked, played board games in one of the tents till morning, it was finally like everything was in place.

I leaned my head on Alex’s shoulders as everyone started heading to bed. Now everything was in place.

MASTERLIST

[watarfallar]

Is it bad that when I was walking down the street one day and saw a poppy growing out of a patch of weeds, my brain short circuited? Is that bad? Oh well, have some crumbs for your troubles.

Grian: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks! Scar: Why would I do that? Grian: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

Scar, texting Grian: Text me when you’re home safely. Grian: I’m home dangerously. Scar: Stop it. Grian: I’m home lethally.

Scar, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY! Grian, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

Scar: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder. Scar: glares at Grian Grian: Well, sorry I have morals!

Grian: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why. Scar: Only if you also don't ask why. Scar: pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag Grian: … Grian, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

Grian: What is the one thing I told you not to do? Scar: Burn the house down. Grian: And what did you do? Scar: I made dinner. Grian: Scar: Grian: Scar: And burnt the house down.

Grian: Love makes people do stupid things. Scar: I love everything! Grian: That explains a lot.

Scar: What am I supposed to do? Grian: If I were you? I’d try and make peace with whatever deity, pantheon, or Divine Other you believe in. Scar: I’m an atheist. Grian: Then just get ready to die I guess.

Grian: You know what your problem is? Scar: I only have one?

Scar: Present your best argument for eating bacon. Grian: If animals don’t want to be eaten, then why are they made of food?

Scar: Isn’t it a bit dangerous? Grian: Scar, please. We’ve in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt. Scar: … Grian: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt. Scar: … Grian: Alright, we escaped unhurt once… Then we hurt ourselves on the way home.

Scar: Hey, Grian, when you wake up you're legally obligated to agree with me. Grian: But I don't….. Scar: I don't see why that should be my problem??

Grian: There’s no “I�� in team, but there is one in pizza. Scar: So, you’re not going to share? Grian: I’m not going to share.

Scar: I'm trash. Grian: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you? Scar: Scar: You smooth motherfucker. Scar: And yes it does.

Grian: on the phone Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference. Grian: Anyways, you said Scar is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

Scar: A-are you sure this is safe?! Grian: Oh, quit being such a baby. It’s perfectly safe! …For me!

Grian: I’m Grian. I’m an accountant. Scar: I’m Scar. I have a knife.

Scar: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass. Grian: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL! Scar: …Your point?

Grian: Scar, no. Scar: Scar, yes.

Scar: Do you have ANY idea what’s going on outside?! Grian: Judging by your outrage, I’d guess someone’s having fun?

Scar: Shut up, you’re messing with my train of thought! Grian: I thought you didn’t have a brain and now you say you have thoughts?

Scar: Two wrongs don’t make a right. Grian: sighs That’s true… Grian: But to negatives make a positive!!!

Grian: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart? Scar: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am! Grian: Mean.

Grian: Hey, about that love letter you sent me- Scar: blushes What are your thoughts? Grian: The fourth sentence- Scar: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I- Grian: It’s “you’re” not “your”.

[louloulemons-posts]

Pickle

Eddie X fem!hopper!reader

Summary : You and Eddie had been so careful, so how on earth did you end up with a positive pregnancy test?

Word count : 2.9k

Warnings : Teen pregnancy, pregnancy in general, vomiting, talks of abortion, pregnancy fears, birth, probably incorrect medical talk, sweating, brief mentions of sex, minute angst, MAJOR fluff, dad eddie, use of Y/N, use of petnames, not proofread and wrote at 4am.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

You were fucked. Absolutely fucked. It was normal to sometimes have a late period or even miss it, due to stress, you could be anaemic, things like that happened to a lot of people.

But this was something else. After vomiting a few times you decided you’d rather be safe and just check. With a positive test in hand, you almost screamed and said every foul word that came to mind.

What were you going to do? You’d been so safe, how did this even happen. Sitting down on the closed lid of the toilet you sighed. Ultimately you got keep it or get rid of it.

You were 19 years old, you didn’t know what to do. What would people think? What would Eddie, you ever so sweet boyfriend, think? Your dad? Your sister? Oh god you were going to vomit again.

A sharp knock on the door cut that idea short, “Babe, you okay? You’ve been in there a while?” Eddie spoke to you.

“Uh .. Y-yeah, I’ll just be a minute Eds.”

“Okay babe, hurry though, dinners getting cold.”

Shoving the test into a draw, you ran your hands under some cold water, splashing your face. You were pregnant. And now you had to decide what to do.

Walking out into the lounge you found Eddie stretched out comfortably on the sofa, dressed in a wore metallic tee and some sweats. Pizza boxes lay on the table, you thought you’d have a cosy, stay at home date night.

Sitting next to him, you smiled. “Tuck in babe, it’s so good,” he said, taking another slice of pizza. Taking one for you self, you munched happily, that was until you reached a piece of pepperoni.

You heaved and dropped the food, running to the bathroom, slamming the door behind you. “Baby!” Eddie shouted in alarm, getting up quickly, following you. “Hey you okay?” he asked, carefully rubbing your back, and pulling falling strands of hair back.

“Yeah I’m okay. Sorry Eds.”

“It’s okay, let’s get you in to bed.”

“Just let me brush my teeth first,” he hummed and helped you up off the floor, flushing the toilet whilst you put toothpaste on the brush.

Helping you to bed, Eddie couldn’t help but be concerned, you hadn’t been yourself for a few days now. “I’m going to get you some water and a cold compress for you head, you look flushed. Get some pyjamas on okay?”

“Mhm, okay,” you mumbled to him as he left the room. Your body felt heavy and horrible.. You were so annoyed, you’d be looking forward to this pizza all day, and this little parasite just says no I don’t want that. How fucking rude.

A few minutes later you were lay in bed, under a blanket, eyes closed, trying to keep the nausea at bay. “Hey Sweetheart I’m back.” Eddie came and sat next to you, “Drink some of this.” He passed you the glass of water.

Taking a few slow slips, you felt the cold liquid soothe you straight away. “Rest you head baby,” he said, putting the cold compress on your forehead. “How you feeling?”

“Better now.”

“Good I’m glad.”

“I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

“Might be something to do with this,” you opened your eyes, to see the test in his hand.

“Shit Eds.”

“Hm. I’m assuming that’s what you were doing in the bathroom?” You nodded slowly.

“So um … what are you gonna do?” he asked.

“Well it’s up to both of us.”

“Not really. You’ll be carrying it, you have to deal with stuff like this. It’s up to you babe, no matter what you choose I’ll be right here,” he said softly, brushing your hair off the washcloth.

“I don’t know what to do. We’re basically kids ourselves Eds, we haven’t got a home, I’m only in my second year at college, we don’t have money. God Eddie I don’t know what to do. We were so careful!”

“I know Sweetheart, I know. It’s okay. How about we just think about it for a few days? I’ll call a doctor and get an appointment booked okay, we have time. Sound good.”

“Yeah. Thanks Eds.”

“Don’t need to thank me, this is basically my fault,” he chuckled.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Sat in the doctors office, you leg was bouncing, anxiety filling your veins. Eddie squeezed your hand softly, in a comforting manner. “It’ll be okay Sweetheart, no matter what happens. You got this, and I’ve got you.”

“Y/L/N,” you heard a voice call, standing up you saw a woman on the shorter side, a soft smile on her face, dark hair flecked with grey. “If you’d like to come in,” she said, motioning into the room behind her.

Eddie squeezed your hand again, and the pair of you entered. Shutting the door behind her, she began talking, “So you had a positive pregnancy test?”

“Yes, three days ago.”

“Well okay then, it’s very rare to get a false positive, but we will know for sure today. I’m going to have to run some bloods and a urine sample. Find out how far along you are,” she said softly, obviously noticing you weren’t as thrilled as you assumed most women expecting a child are.

“It’s okay to be worried, both of you. You’re young. Once we find out everything we need to know, I’ll give you some leaflets for different things. For if you decide to carry on with the pregnancy, or go down the other path. Either one is fine and completely your choice.”

The pair of you nodded at her, “Okay so I’ll take your bloods first if that’s okay?” You slid off your jacket and rolled up one of your sleeves, soon enough she had what she needed and was passing you a small bottle.

In the bathroom you sighed, this was really happening. You knew you wanted kids, and kids with Eddie for sure. You just didn’t expect it so soon, and she was right, you had other options. But what if you wanted this kid, you knew this child would be loved.

Even if your dad would be royally pissed off for a while, he’d love the kid. You had Wayne, El, all the kids, Joyce, Nancy, Steve, Robin. And most importantly, you had Eddie, you knew this child would be loved by him. By you.

Maybe love was enough.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Lay on a bed with your shirt pulled up just under your breasts. You inhaled sharply as cold gel was put on your growing bump. “Sorry sweetie,” the nurse chuckled.

Soon enough a small image appeared on screen. Your little pickle, or so Eddie had been calling them as that’s been your main craving for the past 20 weeks.

He smiled softly, squeezing your hand, unable to take his eyes off the screen. “Baby’s looking very good. Nice and healthy. Here is their head,” The nurse said, pointing out little parts of your baby.

“So one of my biggest questions for you today is, would you like to find out what you’re having?” she asked. You and Eddie didn’t really mind, you’d loved them no matter what, but you both knew you were too impatient to wait.

“Yes please.”

“Okay then, let’s see,” moving the probe around your bump. “Ah here we are, they’re very compliant,” she complimented, “Most little ones like to hide away at this point, make it difficult for me to find out.”

You and Eddie let out a laugh at that, this whole experience so far has been incredible. Minus the vomiting and feeling tired. Feeling your baby kick for the first time had been surreal.

“Okay so, you’re having a very happy and healthy baby girl. Congratulations.” You looked at Eddie, his eyes glassy, “Our little pickle is a little lady,” his voice broke.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Eds go, have fun. We both need a night with our friends.”

“Yes I know I know, but you’re just so close to having our pickle. I get worried if you go and pee alone.”

You laughed, “I did realise that.” Running your hands in his curls, you smiled. “We’ll be fine, and if anything happens, I’ll get the girls to call okay?”

“Okay.”

He kissed your bump and then your forehead. “I love you.”

“We love you too.”

Soon enough Eddie had left, and Max, Nancy, Robin and El had appeared. You’d wanted a girly night, kind of like a relaxed baby shower. “I can’t believe I’ll be an auntie soon,” El clapped her hands together.

“You’ll be the best auntie,” you smiled, hand on your very large bump. You were due in a few weeks and boy were you ready. Swollen breast, feet, aching back, stretched skin. You’d forced Eddie to stand and lift your stomach for a good few minutes a few days back just to help your spine.

Your little one had also taken a liking to kicking your bladder. Sitting besides Nancy, you picked at some potato chips, humming at the salty flavour.

“Thank you guys for coming, this feels like the first normal night I’ve had in like … 8 months.”

“Of course, and I brought movies,” Robin said, pulling a selection out of her bag.

“So are you prepared for this little lady making her appearance?” Nancy asked, motioning to your tummy. “I think so. We’ve had the bag packed for like a week, but I don’t think we’ll really know until she’s here.”

“I’m excited. When she’s big enough can I teach her to skate?”

“Course Max, I was hoping you would.” The red head hummed in contentment, pulling a a bowl of popcorn towards you and El.

A lot had changed in the last few months, Hopper and El had moved in with Joyce, leaving the cabin vacant. Bursting into tears when your dad handed you the keys, you blamed it on hormones. It’d be strange living without your dad, sister and Wayne, but they had visited regularly.

The cabin was now your home, you and Eddie painting Els old room a pale purple. A rocking chair, crib, cupboards filled with clothes and toys. Of course she’d spend the first few months in with you and Eddie.

Everyone had been so great, Steve and Jonathan had helped Eddie build the crib. Will painted the walls carefully, making it look beautiful. The other three boys, Mike, Lucas and Dustin had worked together to make a dragon mobile for above their crib.

You’d never felt so much love, Joyce had been around a lot too. Her being one of the few mothers you knew, comforting you when you were stressed and tired and laughing with you when you were happy.

Then there was El, Max, Nancy and Robin. Those girls were your saviours. Constantly keeping you company, making you smile, getting you emergency pickles at 1am.

Your dad surprisingly wasn’t annoyed at all, he was happy for you. He was over the moon, couldn’t wait to be a grandpa. Similarly to Wayne, who of course would also take that title.

And then of course there was your Eddie. He’s been your rock. When you’d cried out of discomfort, or fear or just cried for the sake of crying. When you needed, hugs or massages … or other things …

He’d been perfect. He was always perfect. He was going to be the best dad.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“I’ll be back in a minute ladies, little miss wants me to go to the bathroom again,” you laughed, pushing up from the sofa and waddled to the bathroom.

You couldn’t wait to stop doing that, Eddie teased that you were becoming a duck. Quacking as you walked. Rubbing your stomach softly, you smiled, you couldn’t wait to meet her.

A sharp pain shot through you. “Oh fuck, ow,” you exclaimed. You looked down, that wasn’t pee.

Shit. Your waters had just broke.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Hello, Harrington residence,” Steve spoke.

“It’s Robin, put Eddie on.”

“Munson it’s for you.”

“Hello?”

“It’s Robin.”

“Hey Robs, what’s up?”

“Okay, so like, don’t panic or anything. Y/Ns gone into labour, Nancys driving her to the hospital right now. So you should go there. Like right now.”

“Shit!”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Fuck it hurts,” you cried, clinging on to Eddies hand. “I know baby I know. But guess what, soon it’ll be all over, and you’ll be holding our little baby.”

“I don’t think I can do this Eds, ow,” you screamed as another contraction went through you. “You can. I know you can, you are the strongest girl I know. You can do this.”

“Just a few more pushes and she’ll be here,” a doctor spoke. “Hear that Sweetheart, you’re almost there. Just a few more, you squeeze me okay.”

“Okay,” you cried, gritting your teeth as you pushed again. “There we go, one more push and we’ll have her head!”

“Go on Sweetheart, big push,” Eddie said, kissing your sweaty forehead. You screamed in agony as you pushed again. The room went silent, you body felt numb. Soon a loud wail pierced the silence.

You let out a sob, she was here. Your baby girl was here.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

It was 3am and you were sat with your baby in your arms. 7 pounds exactly. Head already coated with her fathers crazy curls. Beautiful eyes.

She was now clean and wrapped up in her jammies and a blanket. Snoozing away happily, having just finished a feed from you.

After being passed for the nurses she settle quickly on your chest, not fussing much after the initial cries when she first arrived. A soft coo here and there.

The room was dark and quiet, you and Eddie just admiring her. “She’s so perfect,” he spoke softly. “Course she is, she’s ours.”

You’d had a few visitors, Eddie didn’t want to overwhelm you. So Grandpa Hop, Grandpa Wayne, Auntie El and Grandma Joyce had been in. All of them unable to stop smiling at the sight of your little family.

“I think I know what we should call her,” you said. “Hm?” Eddie questioned.

“Well you know how you called her pickle?”

“Babe we can’t call her pickle!” he laughed.

You did so too, shushing her as she whined softly at your chest’s movement. “Pepper.”

“Pepper?”

“Like picked peppers.”

“I love it.”

“Our little pickled pepper,” he smiled, kissing both of your heads softly.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

It’d been the first time you’d been away without your baby girl. It was frightening to say the least, but you and Eds were told by your family that you deserved it.

They’d paid for you to go on a weekend trip to Chicago for a getaway. It was great, you and Eddie went exploring and stayed up late. You caught up on sleep and other activities that had been hard to do whilst an inquisitive two year old was around.

You had to admit though you were both buzzing to see her. However, that excitement would have to wait for the morning, as the traffic had made you arrive after her bedtime.

Walking into your fathers home, Eddie called out quietly, “Hello?”

“Hey you two, did you have a nice time?” Joyce smiled. “It’s was great. Sorry we’re later than expected.”

“It’s fine, she’s been golden. You too deserved the break.” Soon enough Hopper appeared, a sleeping girl on his shoulder.

“Hey dad,” you smiled. He leant forward and kissed your cheek, then turned to Eddie to hand your daughter over.

“Eddie,” he smiled at the curly haired boy, whilst your own baby, with his exact hair snuggled into her dads neck. “I’ve missed her so much,” he laughed.

“She’s staying in our bed tonight, we’ve missed out on two days of cuddles,” you said. The older adults laughed, handing your her bag, and stuffed dragon. You were on your way home.

Placing her down in bed she stretched out on the large surface. She spent most nights in her own room, only joining you if she had a nightmare or there was a storm, or if mom and dad really needed a cuddle. It was one of those nights.

“I loved this weekend, but I’m so glad we’re home,” you spoke to Eddie.

“Me too, we should take her with us next time. She’d love the pizza.”

“She would, shockingly,” you thought back to your pregnancy, and how you couldn’t stomach it, but she loved it.

Similarly, even-though she was still your little pickle, she couldn’t even stand the smell of them. Laying down on the bed, Eddie pull her and you onto his chest.

She hummed, “Daddy?”

“It’s okay my love, mommy and daddy are here. Go to sleep.” She sighed, head resting comfortably over Eddies heart. Her curls tickling his nose.

You kissed him softly. “I love you Eds.”

“I love you Sweetheart.”

The three of you drifted off into a deep slumber, what a perfect little trio you were.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

[balkanradfem]

I have an update, for people invested in the story of me vs the attractive woman who moved into the building, who I cannot figure out. I still don't know if she's interested in women, if she likes me at all. She has short hair and is 9 years older than me which makes her irresistible.

So my main point of confusion was that she always reacted extremely friendly to me, even as far as yelling my name excitedly and waving when she sees me, but then when we talk she talks to me as if I'm a small child maybe, using words you'd use with children. So I've been on the fence on whether she just sees me as a small lost child who needs attention, or if I could potentially ask her out. I've met her a few times more, only briefly, but one of those times she called my name in an iteration that means small, she added a suffix that you would add to a child's name. (She added '-ica' to my name, for croatian speakers).

And this was too much for me, I had to draw a line at the small iteration of my name, I do not enjoy being viewed as a child, and will not have a crush on someone who makes me feel like I'm not a grownup >: (. So I decided, this is a lost cause romantically, I'm no longer into her, she obviously sees me as a child. It's fair, I also see anyone 9 years younger than me as a tiny baby who I can only be friends with, but I do think that's very cool of lesbians, that we're the exact opposite of pedophiles.

So I calmed down about her, but then I thought, okay, now that I'm not having my brain scrambled by the yearning, I could actually try to ask her to come over so I can meet her and see if we could be friends. She still acted very sweet towards me, one day I opened the door of the building, she was standing right outside, and jumped when I said 'Hi!' loudly. I apologized for scaring her, and she said 'It's okay, I just wasn't even hoping for you.'

How am I supposed to deal with that. That is adorable. I had to go immediately that day, but I decided to calm down, and wait for an opportunity to see if I can get to know her better.

The opportunity came today! I stumbled on her while biking outside, got her attention, and then told her 'Hey, you seem like an interesting person, and I'd love to sit down and talk to you sometimes, I want to know more about you. Could I invite you over for tea?'. And she said, 'Okay, give me your number!', and then she realized, she didn't take her phone with, because it was raining. I grabbed my phone to take her number, but my battery was 1% and the screen was too dark to see. We were both standing there without functional phones, laughing at ourselves. Then she grabbed a pen from her bag, asked me to give her my hand, and wrote her number on it. I've never had a woman write down her number on my hand! It was a great experience. She stopped to ask if it was hurting me, and I was smiling and giggling because I was thrilled, and told her to keep writing. Her handwriting is very neat! I promised to quick-call her as soon as I got home, so her phone will have my number as well.

So now I have her number on my hand, and I did give her a very short ring, so she has my number too. Now I'm nervous! I cleaned up the place because I don't know when she's going to come over, and I'm plagued by the anxiety that I won't be able to offer her a sweet treat because I never make any. I gave her an open invitation so she can just randomly decide to come and I will seem like a person with no food in my kitchen because I only make food when I'm hungry and then eat it immediately. Do you think pan-fried apples is an acceptable treat for a guest? I'm being so normal about this.

[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

Maybe I was wrong, maybe you weren't the one I needed all along

Simon "Ghost" Riley X F!Reader John Price X F!Reader

 It was cute, knowing you’d grown so attached to the group in such a short amount of time. However when John’s eyes landed on the way Simon seemed so tense, the idea of going out now seemed like a horrible one.

a/n:thank you to everyone who voted for this fic in the poll! please heed the tags are there are some pretty heavy topics in this(Also I know I promised Biker!Price first, and it's in the works! but I got too inspired by this fic) warnings:SIMON IS VERY OOC I KNOW, heavy swearing, fights, mentions of PTSD, flashbacks, Simon being a raging asshole

It had been John’s idea to go out to the pub after their latest mission, he’d insisted that Simon call you and see if you’d like to join. It was a way for everyone to relax, to ease their minds off the horrors they’d had to bear witness to for so long. Simon had begrudgingly called you, offering to pick you up before you denied him and said you’d just get an uber. Johnny was ecstatic that you were coming to hang out, mainly so he could tell you the million and one jokes he had. Kyle kept his cool, claiming he was happy to know you were coming but deep down everyone knew you and Kyle were the best of friends. It was cute, knowing you’d grown so attached to the group in such a short amount of time. However when John’s eyes landed on the way Simon seemed so tense, the idea of going out now seemed like a horrible one.

Simon assured him things were fine, that he just needed some good food and a cold beer to help wash away his worries for the night. You showed up after only a few minutes, a bright smile on your face as you made your way to your favorite group of softies. It didn’t matter how much Simon tried to deny it, deep down he truly was a softy for you.

“Hi! Sorry I’m a little late, traffic was a little backed up.” You scooted into the seat beside Johnny, smiling as he gave you a quick side hug.

“Don’t worry love, we’ve only just got here ourselves anyway.” John smiled over at you, wanting to ease the tension that you seemed to be carrying.

Your eyes twinkled in the dim light, letting him know just how happy you were to truly be there. It meant a lot to him, after dealing with some of the worst conditions he’d ever been in, this was a nice change. He wouldn’t tell you that though, not unless he wanted to make things awkward between the two of you. Simon offered to get everyone drinks, slipping out of the booth before anyone else could speak up. You wrung your hands together nervously, it was a habit you’d picked up after his last deployment. He’d come back with a haunted look in his eyes, something you’d come to expect, but something was different about this one.

“I know we can’t talk about what you boys got up to, so I’ll just ask how everyone’s feeling.” You glanced around at the three men still at the table. Simon most likely would hole himself up in your bedroom at home, hide away until he could come back down to earth.

“Tired, mainly, the flight home took longer than we expected.” Kyle didn’t hold his punches, but he was very obviously hiding something, and that made you nervous.

“Good thing you’re home now, don’t have to worry about it for the night at least.” They were always being called out on deployment at a moment’s notice.

“Quite true.” John ran the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip as Simon placed down four pints, plus a water for you.

You’d made it known to everyone that you didn’t like drinking, mainly because beer tasted in your personal words “like downright piss” so they would make do. Normally they’d buy you a water, or a soda if you preferred that. Sometimes a lemonade if the bar had it on hand, moreso they’d buy you something to eat as an apology. They’d asked how you’d been while they were all gone, you gave the basic rundown that nothing truly exciting happened. It wasn’t until Johnny noticed a bright flashy diamond on your finger.

“Aye, you get engaged?” Johnny was staring down at your hand, brow raised slightly.

“Oh, no, I bought this because of someone at work. Guy was flirting with every single woman and wouldn’t take no for an answer, ended up going to HR cause he followed me to my car one day.” You took a rather large sip of your water, ignoring the way Simon’s eyes were boring into the side of your head.

“Tell me the fucker got fired, I know how to ‘ide a body.” Johnny would do anything to help keep you safe, taking care of a few mishaps would be no problem.

“Yeah, they found out he’d been videotaping women in the restroom, and ended up getting arrested in front of everyone.” You were thankful you’d stopped using that bathroom, unable to get over the sense of unease whenever you went inside.

It was another reminder how terrifying the world could be, and with Simon being away you were scared to leave work in fear he’d end up following you home. Wasn’t much you’d be able to do if he had, not with your boyfriend god knows where for god knows how long. The conversation turned to brighter topics, John steering the conversation towards futbol. You’d tried to keep track of how well the teams were doing, but with work being so hectic it simply slipped your mind. Kyle started on about how excited he was to go and visit his parents, ready to have a home cooked meal and see how his mom was doing.

It eased your mind for the rest of the night, laughing at the terrible jokes that Johnny seemed to save up for your annual visits. You couldn’t contain your laughter as you slapped his shoulder, nearly doubling over onto the wooden table as you tried to catch your breath. This was what you’d been missing, the carefree joy that came with being around everyone. Except, Simon seemed to become even quieter, not even the sound of his breathing could be heard. Had you done something to upset him? Clearly you’d pissed him off or else he wouldn’t be giving you the cold shoulder.

Everyone agreed to head out after one drink, not wanting to get too relaxed lest they end up falling asleep in the booth. After giving everyone a tight hug you headed out to where Simon’s car was parked. His shoulders seemed even more tense, hands balled into fists as he got into the driver's seat. Taking a quick breath you got into the passenger's side, buckling your seatbelt before Simon could take off. His knuckles were white with how harshly he was gripping the steering wheel, eyes glaring down at the road. How could you even broach a conversation when he was this angry?

“Simon?” Your voice was meek, barely anything more than a whisper.

“What?” His voice was harsh, biting into your skin and leaving behind superficial welts.

“Did I say something to upset you?” Your hands were beginning to shake, the last thing you ever wanted to do was upset someone by saying the wrong thing.

“Isn’t that rich, I should be asking if you’d finally found someone to warm the bed while I’m gone making sure you’re safe.” It’d felt as if you’d been slapped, the words cutting deep.

“Excuse me?” There was no way he’d said that to you, even when Simon was beyond angry he was never so hateful before.

“I’m sure your new boy toy got that ring for you, tell me, does he fuck you better than I do? Treat you like a whore since you can’t handle me leaving so often?” Simon barely glanced towards you, eyes hiding a burning rage deep inside.

Your eyes were filled with tears, mouth gaping open as you struggled to figure out how to even reply to what he’d said. How could he sit there and act like you were stepping out on him when you’d always waited for him to come home.

“There is no one else-”

“Don’t fucking lie to me! Do you really think I’m naive enough to believe that you haven’t fucked someone else when I’ve been gone for months, haven’t slipped someone into our bed when I’m deployed?” The car came to a screeching halt, the seatbelt across your chest preventing you from slamming into the dashboard.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks now, who was this man that bore your boyfriend's face, and what had he done with Simon?

“Get the fuck out of my car.” Simon was absolutely seething, refusing so much as to look at you.

“Si, please.” You were ready to beg, it was dangerous to be alone outside at night.

“I said get the fuck out!” His voice was thick with anger, venomous words poisoning your soul slowly.

You weakly unbuckled your seat, hands shaking uncontrollably as you reached for the door handle. His lips pulled into a snarl as you stepped out of the car, slightly thankful for the bright street lamps so you weren’t in total darkness. The sound of tires squealing and dirt kicking up echoed into the night as Simon drove off, leaving you behind. A scream tore through your chest as the realization hit you, Simon had left you. The man who’d loved you so gently left you behind as if you meant nothing to him.

Patting yourself down you swallowed thickly realizing you still had your purse, which meant you had your phone to call for help. Your heart was shattering as you scrolled through the contacts, coming upon the name you were hoping you wouldn’t have had to see so soon.

“Hey hun, miss me already.” Johnny laughed into the receiver, John’s voice in the background telling him to “shut up”.

“Johnny?” Your voice was thick with tears, reaching up to try and wipe them away.

“Sweetheart? What’s going on?” He was suddenly on high alert, you were upset and he was going to find out why.

You broke down once more, unable to get your words out properly for a few seconds before Johnny helped calm you down enough to talk. You told him everything, how Simon had accused you of cheating, how he pulled over to the side of the road and kicked you out of the car. He didn’t even need to ask for the address, having pinged your location from his own phone. You stepped under one of the bright street lamps, illuminating yourself so that he could see you.

Headlights came barreling around the corner not even five minutes later, John slamming on the breaks and throwing himself out of the car to help console you immediately. You cried into his chest, gripping onto the leather coat that he’d been wearing earlier. It smelled of smoke and something sweet that you couldn’t quite place. It did its job in helping bring you back down to earth, head beginning to ache with a headache.

“C’mon, you can stay in my guest room for the night.” John turned you towards his car, helping you into the passenger seat carefully.

Johnny wanted to protest and say that he was supposed to sleep in the guest room but you would always take priority. He wanted to wring Simon’s neck until the other man was blue in the face, how the hell could he do that to you? They were going to keep you safe, no matter what it took you weren’t going to go to bed upset. Sure the mission hadn’t been the easiest to deal with, but they’d all had to deal with the shit they did and yet Simon took it out on you.

“We’ll be here for you sweetheart, promise.” Johnny leaned forward, laying a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Thank you, it means a lot.” You reached up to lay your hand overtop of his own, eyes catching onto the (very fake)diamond ring on your finger.

Anger courses through you like a raging fire, the reason Simon had called you such horrific things because you’d had to keep yourself safe. What type of man called his girlfriend a whore for not cheating? You grabbed onto the ring, angrily pulling it off and throwing it into your purse. It was a problem for later you to deal with, right now you wanted to slap Simon into next tuesday and make sure he understood how pissed off you were.

Your phone had started to ring in your pocket, reminding you that realistically had you not called Johnny that you’d still be on the side of the road. Had Simon really driven back to see if you were still there, to see if he could continue berating you? You pulled your phone out, seeing the photo of the two of you lighting up the screen. Ignoring the call you held down the power button, waiting until the screen turned black before sliding it back into your pocket. John was completely silent beside you, nothing, save for the streetlamps, lighting up his face. He was terrified when you’d called, afraid something severe had happened and they would be pulling up on a car accident.

In some way he had hoped it had been an accident, that Simon hadn’t completely destroyed you with his words over something so petty. However, when he’d arrived he became enraged that Simon put you into such a vulnerable position. What if someone had grabbed you before they got there, there wasn’t a shortage of enemies that would take the chance to cause pain to Simon. So why put you in harm's way over something so trivial? 

“Hey, we’re here.” John waited until Kyle and Johnny got out of the car, wanting to make sure that you were alright.

“Simon started calling me, probably to tell me what a whore I am.” You bit your bottom lip harshly, not wanting to get emotional all over.

“Just ignore him, if he comes by I’ll talk to him outside.” John was going to make sure Simon didn’t say any more hurtful things to you, no matter what.

You nodded at him, slipping out of the car and heading inside with Johnny and Kyle.

John waited until the front door shut, letting out a long sigh. Simon would show up within a few minutes, he knew that Johnny and Kyle were staying with him anyway. Reaching into the glove compartment of his car he grabbed a cigar and lighter. Nothing better to do than smoke and wait for his hot headed lieutenant to show his face. He’d surely be upset that you called his captain to come and get you instead of waiting around. It wasn’t safe for you to walk around during the daytime, why would the night be any safer for you?

It had just hit the five minute mark as Simon angrily pulled into the driveway, stopping only a few feet from Price’s truck. John could only hope that Johnny and Kyle had you far away from the living room, you didn’t need to hear this argument.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Simon was fuming, steam nearly pouring out of his ears as he stomped over to where John stood smoking.

“I picked her up because she was terrified, Simon, did you really think I would make her wait until you decided it was time to pick her up.” He’d been terrified for the few minutes it took to get to you originally, knowing Simon would’ve left you out there even longer?

“That wasn’t your choice to make and you know it.” Simon wanted to barge into his home and make sure you knew exactly who you’d belonged to.

“I think it’s best if she stays here for the night, the two of you need to cool off and barging in like some mad man will terrify her even more.” It was the most logical thing John could think of, had Simon gone into his home Johnny and Kyle would’ve done what they could to protect you. 

Simon seemed to think over what he’d said, debating whether or not he should ignore Price and head inside to find you. The last thing he needed was you causing a scene if he managed to get you back in the car, shit.

“Her and I will be talking privately tomorrow, no eavesdroppers.” Simon glanced towards the bay windows, catching both Johnny and Kyle peeking out through the curtains.

John simply nodded, it was better to agree with whatever Simon wanted than to argue with him for who knows how long. He wouldn’t leave you alone with Simon come morning, not if he wanted to lose all trust in you entirely. Simon glared over at him before heading back to his truck, tires squealing as he sped out into the inky darkness that night brought.

Everyone would feel better after a good night’s sleep, emotions were at an all time high and John refused to treat this like he did a deployment. You deserved better than your friends all at one another’s throats like a pack of savages. Stubbing out the cigar John headed inside to see how you and the two trouble makers were doing. The sound of your laughter reached the entryway as he stepped inside, hanging up his coat and slipping off his boots.

“That’s not true and you know it!” You and Johnny were in the midst of an argument, a playful one at that.

“It is too! Gaz back me up here.” Johnny knew the other man would absolutely take your side, it was a constant thing for the three of you.

“Absolutely not, you know I’m taking my favorite girl's side in this one.” Kyle wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you flush to his side.

Johnny feigned offense, though the bright smile on his face clearly gave away his true emotions in that moment. John stepped into the living room after another minute of your banter, making his presence known to all of you. It suddenly dawned on him that you were wearing a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie that were his. It was most likely Johnny that grabbed the clothes for you, wanting to make sure you were comfortable.

“Sorry, was dealing with something outside for a few.” Everyone knew that Simon had shown up, even if, thankfully, you hadn’t heard him.

“It’s okay, I should probably head to bed anyway, been a long night.” Your smile didn’t reach your eyes, something that made John a little more uncomfortable.

“You know which room sweetheart, if you need anything you know where I’ll be.” John nodded as you headed off to bed, waiting with baited breath until the door shut and the sound of the slightly creaky mattress echoed into the air. He needed to discuss things with Kyle and Johnny, but the less you knew at the moment, the better.

The other two were staring at John with hard gazes, it was obvious that things had gone awry and they needed more answers to the million questions they had. Once John was sure that you were asleep, or at least in bed, John told them everything. From the way Simon was ready to head inside and take you like some brute, how he didn’t look like the man he’d known for years. All of them would develop, or possibly even had PTSD, it came with the territory of being in the military but what Simon had done was despicable.

John had gotten a therapist after the first few years, when his dreams were becoming too vivid and the slightest sounds had him drawing his gun. It worked miracles, and since then any person under his command needed to speak with one. Johnny had admitted to him privately that the therapist helped him from ending his life, how he’d been terrified to sleep most nights. Kyle still had nightmares about falling out of the helicopter, nearly dying if it weren’t for the rope tied around his ankle.

“If he shows up before I’m awake, make sure he doesn’t get to her.” It was an order, you wouldn’t be put into another mess because Simon couldn’t keep his emotions in check.

Kyle and Johnny wouldn’t waste a single second if Simon showed up in the morning, they’d barricade the door if it came down to it. John was afraid he wouldn’t be able to sleep as he crawled into bed, his emotions were too high to fully relax. As he lay there staring at his ceiling his eyes began to droop closed, sleep encompassing him like a warm hug. It wasn’t the sun, nor the birds outside of his window that had woken him up. No it was the sound of your screams that had him sprinting from his bed.

When he finally reached the kitchen he was shocked to find you and Johnny making breakfast. From the looks of it Johnny had thrown what looked to be flour at you, not enough to truly make a mess but enough to surprise you. However in his haste John had forgotten to grab a shirt to throw on before surprising you. Your eyes roved over his chest, brow raised in a way he couldn’t quite decipher.

“Aye cap, why don’t you go ahead and put your tits away.” John’s face flushed with Johnny’s words, not something you hear after sprinting to make sure your guests were safe.

“Don’t damn near give me a heart attack next time, please.” John headed back to his bedroom before either of you could say anything.

It suddenly seemed to dawn on him then, Simon would be coming by so that he could talk to you again. He’d simply have to deal with seeing you in John’s clothes, there truly was no way around that at the moment. The sound of the truck rumbling let him know Simon had arrived, and without wasting anymore time he headed outside to intercept him. If he wanted to talk with you, he’d have to talk with him first.

“Simon.” John nodded at the other man, noticing the letter that was tucked carefully in his hands.

“Shepherd called last night, sending me out on another assignment, can ya give this to her?” Simon didn’t look relaxed, no, in fact his shoulders appeared even more tense, eyes darker and harder to read.

John didn’t want to take the letter, to deliver the bad news and tell you that Simon had run off at a moment’s notice. It all felt so disingenuous.

“Alright.” John took the envelope, tucking it into his pocket.

Simon didn’t spare another word as he left, leaving John confused as to what the hell he was going to say when he went inside. ‘Oh by the way Simon left and gave me this letter to give to you, not sure what it says so I’m sorry in advance.’ This was not how his day was supposed to go. Deciding there really wasn’t anything else he could do, John headed inside with the letter tucked away. The smell of bacon filled the air, calming his nerves for a brief second as he stepped into the kitchen.

You’d already made yourself a plate, digging in happily as Johnny plated up the rest of the pancakes and bacon onto their respective plates.

“Simon wanted me to give this to you.” He grabbed the envelope from his pocket, placing it down beside you.

Your heart plummeted, the calm air suddenly vanishing as you stared down at the white paper. What the hell had he said in the letter that he couldn’t bear to say to your face like a normal person? Then again, Simon wasn’t your average man, was he? Swallowing the bite that was in your mouth you grabbed the letter, ripping open the envelope to see what lay inside. You briefly scanned over Simon’s chicken scratch handwriting, heart twisting painfully. He had truly believed you stepped out on him, and instead of telling you things were over in person, he left. The general had called him last night, asking him to head out on another deployment and he’d accepted it so easily. He wanted you gone before he came back home.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks, lip quivering as you suddenly realized that Simon had thrown away logical thinking to accuse you of something so vile. You wanted to scream, to go to your apartment and destroy it the same way he’d destroyed your heart. Except you couldn’t, because it would mean that Simon had won, that his suspicions were correct. It didn’t matter if you knew you hadn’t cheated, it was your word against Simon’s judgment. Shit, where the hell were you going to live? Getting an apartment would be nearly impossible with how high prices were nowadays.

“Lass?” Johnny was nervous, seeing you this upset broke his heart every time.

You could barely get the words out, thrusting your arms towards him that was still holding onto the letter. He took it carefully, reading over the hateful things that Simon had written, how could one man be so cruel? He carefully handed the letter to John before pulling you into his embrace, rubbing a hand up and down your back slowly. You’d need comfort the most right now, and to find a place to live since Simon wanted you out.

“It’ll be alright sweetheart, I promise.” You burrowed yourself into his chest, cheek resting against the dogtags that rested just beside his heart.

“I won’t be able to find an apartment so soon, shit I’m going to be homeless.” Your heart was racing, god this day couldn’t get any worse.

“You’ll stay with me, ‘m not gonna let you become homeless because Simon’s got his head up his arse.” It was a risky move, but your safety became a priority now.

You wanted to protest, to tell John that you could find a place, given the little time that you had at the moment, perfectly fine. However as you began to think about it deeper you truly realized that you would in fact become homeless before finding a proper apartment. Plus the thought of purchasing all the furniture, and appliances again? It was absolutely hell.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude anymore than I already have.” You’d have to pack up all your clothes and any belongings when you had the time.

“It’s no problem sweetheart, I promise.” John’s smile was soft, a reminder that he would do whatever it took to make you happy.

You kept your head against Johnny’s chest, letting him continue to comfort you in the way that he did best. Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad once you got all your stuff out.

~~~~~~~

Nine Months Later~~~~~~~

You hadn’t so much as seen Simon since the horrific breakup, though that was more due to you wanting to heal rather than trying to hide. You’d found a therapist to talk with, a way to unload all of your emotions so they wouldn’t fester like an untreated wound. And it had helped for a while, telling them what you could about Simon and your relationship. Somewhere things had suddenly changed, neither of you were aware the feelings had come into perspective. John was afraid to push things, even if he had feelings for you he wasn’t going to force you. So when you approached him about getting dinner, John couldn’t refuse.

Johnny was the first to find out about your relationship, happy that you’d healed enough to find solace in someone else. No one dared talk about it with Simon around, not unless they wanted to find out how scary he could become. He’d become colder towards everyone, refusing to speak up unless someone else needed something. Last anyone had heard he was seeing someone else, a private if the information Johnny had received was correct. No one told you though, not wanting to remind you of all the bad memories.

In truth you’d found out by accident, needing to bring John some papers he’d left at home after rushing to base that morning. He’d called you in a panic, asking if you’d seen the paperwork he needed to go over. You laughed slightly and offered to bring everything to him, he didn’t hesitate to agree, letting you know he’d meet you when you arrived. You tucked the folder under your arm, sending a quick text to let him know you were there. The sound of Simon’s voice raised goosebumps over your body, except he wasn’t calling for you. No, he was talking to what looked like a new recruit, however you knew better from the look in his eye. Huh, you expected it to hurt more than it did, seeing Simon treat someone the way he’d once treated you.

Maybe seeing him after all these months was what you needed, to remind you that you lived with someone that wasn’t afraid to open himself up to you. You knew why Simon was closed off, having had many late night discussions. And yet after nearly three years he still refused to be the first to initiate any kind of affection. It began to wear on your mind, especially when he’d be gone for months on end with no contact. John didn’t treat you as if you were made of glass, but he also wasn’t a total hardass either. He treated you like a normal person, not afraid to show love when you were in public. It was a nice change, one you’d brought up in therapy when you were afraid to make that leap. Your therapist was supportive of the relationship, encouraging you to pursue it. God, you couldn’t have been happier with him.

“Hey love, sorry for making you wait.” John pressed a soft kiss to your lips, arm wrapping around your waist.

“Mmm, only a couple minutes.” You smiled as he pulled away, holding up the folder to let him know you hadn’t forgotten it.

“Thank you so much, my little life saver right here.” John tucked the folder under his arm, focusing entirely on you.

“It’s what I do.” You giggled softly, pressing another kiss to his lips.

Neither of you were aware that Simon was staring you down, watching the way you’d gotten so close and comfortable with his captain. He couldn’t get angry with you though, not when it was his fault for assuming the worst and breaking off the relationship. It had taken months for him to realize that you were in fact telling the truth. However he wasn’t just going to show up at your apartment and beg for forgiveness, he was better than that. Which is why he was dating someone else in hopes he could finally move on. John though? You’d picked John out of anyone to date.

“I’ll see you at home tonight, make sure to grab a bottle of wine on your way home.” You left with a pep in your step, a bright smile on your face.

John fell more in love with each day that passed, even when Johnny would(jokingly)tease him about it. You were the woman for him, and he was going to make sure you never doubted the love he had for you. Which was why he had the ring hidden in his desk here at the base, no reason for you to be snooping where he worked. He could feel Simon’s gaze boring into the side of his head, if looks could kill. This wasn’t about them though, you’d moved on with your life as did he, and in turn you and John were together.

There was nothing he would do to change any of it.

tagging: @dante-mightdie @thesinsoflust @gaylemonshark

[polyamorouspunk]

The first time I ever heard the phrase “pick your battles” was when I was about 12 years old in eight grade. The grade above us was filled with kids who drank and smoked and did drugs and the grade below us was filled with kids having sex in public bathrooms and somehow we were stuck in the middle, reaping the restrictions put on us for crimes we didn’t commit. One of these being that we were not allowed any personal bags in our wing.

Now, if you’re like me, you carry a *lot* of shit. I mean, there’s textbooks, reading books, food, water, phone, pens and pencils, an eraser that actually works, FeMiNiNe hYgIeNe pRoDuCtS, and idk? Random other shit? Too much to reasonably carry from class to class in your arms and pockets.

So my friends and I wore bags. Purses, if you will, though I hated that term because it was a bit too girly for me, and my “purses” came from the military surplus store. In fact, I still have the last one I got from there. Regardless, my point being that we wore personal bags to carry our shit in.

Except that wasn’t allowed because kids *before* us would sneak their alcohol and shit with them in bags.

Now, nowhere in the handbook did it say we weren’t allowed to have bags- trust me, we checked. Our parents helped us take up the cause- us being me and my 2 friends. But our teachers collectively decided we were not allowed to have them in our wing, they had to stay in our lockers. And so we asked: how them are we to transport them outside of our wing if our lockers are in said wing. If we can’t have them in the hallway how can we have them outside the hallway if we have to store them in the lockers in this hallway.

One day my teacher who had a soft spot for us pulled me aside. He told me he knew that I was on a campaign against this, but that sometimes we need to pick our battles. I had never heard of this phrase, so I sat on it for about .5 seconds before saying “then I’m going to pick this battle and continue fighting it.”

I understand now what he means though. We can’t change everything that we want to. There are so many causes out there, so many things that we should be aware of. But we’ll burn ourselves out trying to take them all on ourselves. It’s been said before to pick a few causes you really feel passionate about and focus on those because you can do more for change when you aren’t stretched out thin.

Beyond that, though, I think we need to pick and choose our battles because realistically there are not just things we can win, and at the end of the day some things *are* more important than others.

We live in a surveillance state. That’s clear in a lot of countries, including the US, but that’s clear on a global level. While this sucks, at least here in the US, it really seems like not enough people care to fight it. Hell, people are actively bringing surveillance devices into their homes in the name of convenience. Realistically, overturning our surveillance state doesn’t seem likely. While it’s a battle that’s noble to fight, it’s probably in vain.

But think about when Roe v Wade was overturned. How much outrage it caused. How much outrage it’s still causing. Enough people are fighting that there is hope to rectify it, I think. And when it comes down to it, if you have to pick a battle to “not be surveilled” or to “legalize life-saving medical treatment (again)” one of those seems a lot more pressing and important than the other.

It’s okay to personally put causes on the back burner. It’s okay to not reblog every single “awareness” or “woke” post you see. You’re not obligated to fight every fight. Even just reblogged activism post after activism post can be draining. It’s okay to take a step back, take a break. Don’t forget about these struggles. Keep them in the back of your mind. Maybe go back and reblog them later. But don’t burn yourself out fighting too many battles, especially if they’re losing one. Focus on a few, solid, tangible changes you can make: being kind to strangers; donating goods, services, and money; volunteering; teaching children; etc. and if you have the energy go above and beyond that. You can make a difference just by being kind. You don’t have to fix every single problem. But together we can fix a few at a time.

[superstealthaccount]

Now Thicker to Last Even Longer

Read on ao3 | BuckTommy | rated: E | 1.8 K

(My contribution to the Buck's Crazy Dreams series started by @judymarch15 and @sunnywithachanceofbi - the only two rules for these fics are that: 1. in the dream, Buck's cum always has magical properties and 2. Tommy always thinks it's hot. Suspend your disbelief and enjoy.)

Tommy comes home late from a shift that ran over and Buck tells him about a crazy dream that he had about them going on a date night that got a bit messy.

Snippet below the cut, read the rest on ao3!

“Hey.” Warm lips pressed a kiss onto his forehead. “Sorry I missed dinner. Just wanted to let you know I’m home. Go back to sleep, baby.”

Right. Tommy got called out on a search and rescue near the end of his shift. He still wasn’t home when Buck had forced himself to head to bed around ten pm, knowing sitting up waiting wouldn’t make him magically appear any faster. “Time ‘s it?”

“Little after midnight,” Tommy said, his face coming into focus when Buck finally fully opened his eyes. “I’m gonna grab a shower.”

“Hey.” Buck rolled onto his back, smiling as he stretched. “Missed you.”

“Yeah?” Tommy’s eyebrows flew up as his gaze trailed down Buck’s bare chest, all the way down to where—oh. Yup. That was Buck’s hard-on tenting the sheet. A little smile twisted the corner of Tommy’s mouth. “Have some nice dreams while I was gone?”

“Dreamed about you,” Buck said, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Tommy’s. “That’s always nice.” He took in the sight of his boyfriend, looking rumpled and soft and tired after a long day and night. The perfect view to wake up to. Buck wanted to lay there forever, drinking him in—

Wait.

Drink.

Why was that ringing a bell? Drink.

Oh.

“What?” Tommy tugged on Buck’s hand when he laughed quietly. “What’s so funny?”

“I just remembered one of the dreams I had,” Buck said, shuffling back a bit to sit up more against his pillow. “It was crazy. Like, you know those ones I’ve been having?”

“Don’t think I could forget if I tried.” Tommy grinned back at him. He sat down on the edge of the bed beside Buck, sparks of humor dancing in his eyes. “Tell me about it?” Despite his exhausted state, his smile had taken on a bit of a feral edge that Buck and his still wide-awake dick were well acquainted with.

Tommy did love to hear about his dreams. Who was Buck to argue?

“Okay,” Buck said, excitement waking up the rest of him as he shifted into story mode. “We were out at that new French restaurant, the fancy one—”

“Lucy went there.”

“Oh, she did?”

Tommy nodded. “She said it was good!”

“Yeah!” Buck’s smile faltered. “Except…I can’t remember if we actually ate the food or not in my dream.” He wracked his brain. Could you even taste in dreams? He should look that up later. “We’ll have to go and see for ourselves sometime.”

“It’s a date,” Tommy agreed. “So, what happened on the dream date?”

“Right. So, we were at the table and we’d ordered and the waiter brought us the wine we’d picked out,” Buck said. “It was that Cab you like.”

Tommy hummed appreciatively.

“Our table was kind of tucked away,” Buck said. “There was only one other couple near us. It was nice. Felt a little more private. You started playing footsie with me pretty much immediately.”

“Be disappointed if I didn’t,” Tommy said with a smirk. “I was in the middle of telling you about this new article I’d been reading when our food arrived,” Buck continued, heroically ignoring both the smirk and the little circles Tommy was rubbing into his leg with his free hand. “It looked delicious and we were about to start eating when my knee hit the table and your glass tipped. Wine spilled all over the table and your shirt.”

Buck untangled their fingers to poke at Tommy’s LAFD shirt. “It was that cream-colored one that makes your eyes pop.”

“That’s a good shirt,”

“Exactly,” Buck exclaimed. “And it was ruined—or you would think that. At first.”

“Oh, yeah?” Tommy quirked an eyebrow at him. “Did you have a way to fix it?”

“Well, the article I’d been telling you about, earlier in the dream, it was on a scientific study that looked at, uh, unconventional uses for semen. Uses like…as a stain remover.”

“Wow.” Tommy mulled that over. “Go, science.”

“Right? Anyway, obviously, I wanted to try and help because the red wine was spreading all over your shirt and the table cloth and I didn’t want the stain to have too much time to set in. So, I stood up and whipped my dick out.”

“Smart,” Tommy nodded.

Continue reading on ao3

[heeseung-min]

[17:53]

Part 2 from [11:44]

I saw some of you wanted part 2 for this so here you are😁 hope you guys enjoy

"What do you mean there was only one body?! Two of my friends live here!!"

Beomgyu angrily said to the police officer. Soobin also tried to hold himself from yelling because frustrated. When they saw a news of murdering happened on your neighbourhood this morning, both of them rushed to your place only to find Karina's dead body outside the house while you were missing.

"I know you are frustrated right now but we also trying our best here to find Miss Y/n. The neighbours also told us they didn't hear anything."

"Bullshit. How can they can't hear their screaming?"

Before Beomgyu can continue more, the police stopped him and went to do something else. Soobin reassured him.

"I'm sure Y/n is still alive. She will not give up easily. Let's try to find her, gyu. Waiting for the police officer is just wasteful."

-----

-----

"You're going to act like this?"

Jungwon scoffed when he didn't get any answer from you. It's been a week since you got abducted and you've been so stubborn to them. Everytime they bring you food, you will either throw it away or left it untouched. Tired of your rage, Riki decided to tie your feet and hands so you can't throw the food away anymore.

You can feel your body become weak. Sometimes, you also feel lightheaded and thirsty so much. But, you don't want to give in.

"Let me go. I don't want to be here."

"We can't do that."

"I DON'T WANT TO BE IN HERE! LET ME GO YOU SICK FUCK! I WILL MAKE SURE BOTH OF YOU GET SEND TO JAIL!!"

Riki entered the room when he heard you screamed. To be honest, having Jungwon alone with you is better than Riki. At least Jungwon is not too rough with you rather than Riki.

You quickly backed away to the headboard when he came closer. Now, the braveness inside you just now completely vanished.

He didn't bring anything that can harm you. Instead of that, he went closer and sit near you and whispered to your ear.

"I have your parents address. Unless you want to see them here bloody dying, you can continue that."

That sure brought you to accept the fate. You can't do anything with your state right now. Riki took the bowl and spoon-feed you until it's finished and gave you water that you've been needing it for few days.

"See, you become a good girl. We will treat you better. If you want to be brat, you will face the consequence. Listen to us, okay? This is your home from now."

You nodded without saying anything. Afraid you will let out some words that will bring consequence. You waited for both of them to go out before trying to calm yourself from the panic attack you had just now.

________

________

"Are you really sure you asked all the neighbours? It is very impossible for them to not hear our friends screaming for help."

"Listen here, boy. How are you so sure they screamed that night? Probably your friend got killed first before she can even ask for help."

"BULLSHIT. HOW DARE YOU?"

Beomgyu punched the officer to the floor. Before he could do the second punch, he was pulled by Soobin and another officer.

"If you continue doing this, we will have no choice but to arrest you."

"You guys literally doing nothing to save my friend! Y/n is still alive!!"

"Let's go Beomgyu. There's nothing good being here. Let's find Y/n by ourselves."

That's what Soobin said before pulling Beomgyu out of the police station.

Both of Soobin and Beomgyu continue searching around your house area in case there is some evidence left or missed by the police. Soobin sighed frustratingly not finding anything after an hour. He stretched his body and moved around his neck until he caught something. Someone was staring straight to your house and quickly pulled the curtain when he noticed Soobin caught him.

"Beomgyu!"

"What?"

"I think we can get some information from the neighbour."

Beomgyu turned his head to look at Soobin who was staring at the upper floor of the next house.

Knock! Knock!

Both of the men watched a woman opened the door. She's quite old and looked very sweet as she smiled to them.

"May I help you, young men?"

"We want to ask about our friends which was your neighbour. Were you in the house at Wednesday ago?"

"I'm sorry but I was at my hometown. I'm sorry about your friends. They were so kind to me."

Her expression relaxed but Soobin noticed her smile now more to force. She must be hiding something. So, he wanted to try something.

"I heard from the police that the murderer might be two people. Is that true?"

"Oh! yes yes! There were two. I heard that too from other neighbours."

Bingo.

"You are lying."

Now, the smile on her face has changed to shocked. Beomgyu and Soobin sighed before questioning her again.

"Police didn't say anything yet about the murderer but you knew there were two person that night?"

"I- I was not.."

"Please help us find our friend. We will make sure to keep you safe if you help us."

The woman felt guilty when both of them started to begging her. She can see how frustrated and angry they were on their eyes. But, she closed her eyes and sighed before opening again. The guilt in the eyes were gone and replaced by the selfishness. She pushed the boys out of her house.

"Don't come here again and bother me. If you do it again, I will call the police."

Soobin and Beomgyu couldn't believe what just happened. When they thought they finally get some help, it just ruined suddenly. They went back to your house to continue searching. When they got back to their car, Soobin noticed a paper stuck at the windshield.

I'm sorry for my mom's attitude. She did that because she was scared. That night, only one girl got murdered and the other one got kidnapped by two persons. I didn't see the face since both of them wearing a mask. Hopefully this can help you to find your friend.

-Sunoo-

****

****

"Aren't you afraid of getting caught by the police?"

You asked Riki as he tighten the rope around your wrists. You winced when you felt hurt because of the tightness. Jungwon was going out to do some errands so Riki will be the one who took care of you.

"Afraid? Huh, do you think the police will find us, Y/n? After all, no one go out the night you were screaming aloud asking for help." Riki said as he smirked to you as a mock. You were clenching your fists trying to suppress the anger inside you.

It's been nearly three weeks or a month? You also didn't remember it and were slowly losing hope to run from them. The thought of the neighbours didn't help during the police interrogation scared you to death. You didn't want to spend whole life with these creeps.

"But, why me? What do I have that both of you decided to do this?"

Riki sat beside you and caressed your hair gently before he whispered something that made you felt creepy.

"Because we are curious how would you look when you are broken and helpless."

"FUCK YOU!!!"

You kicked hard at his left thigh and tried to throw the small vase on the nightstand towards him. The vase did break and you can see blood coming out frok Riki's head.

"You bitch!! Argh fuck get over here!!"

Riki didn't move for a while because he's busy holding the pain on his thigh and his head. The vase made his head hurt and you took that chance and started to run from the room with the sharp piece of the broken vase.

"You can run Y/n. Make sure I don't caught you cause you don't want to face the consequence."

What Riki said made your adrenaline rush and your speed on running increasing. You don't know which way to go cause you never get out and get familiar with the place so you just ran fast to get far away from Riki. You knew how bad it will be if you get caught and you don't want that to happen.

You keep running until you saw a road few metres in front of you. You started to lose your breath from the running. Your throat is dry and desperate water but you can't give up. Not when you finally can be free. You were happy when you saw a car from far. You decided to raise your hand as a signal for the driver to stop.

However, just when the car got near, someone grabbed you from behind.

----

AHAHAHAH HOW'S THAT🤣🤣🤣 i bet you all frust at the end right

Taglist: @stacey-stonem @duolingofanaccount @lamoons @obsessed1with1straykids @huggyuvita @marylalala @enha-stan

I tagged those who wants part 2 of this but some account cant be tagged idk why tumblr is so dumb so hopefully you guys enjoy this

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for leaving my roommate to “fend for himself”?

🍙 - to find this later

i’ve been living with my roommate and boyfriend in an apartment for 2 years (all men in our mid 20s). when we first started living together we would cook, but recently i personally haven’t had the energy to cook much, and it’s a rare occurrence for the other two as well so we end up ordering food a lot (i know, waste of money but we’re all employed adults).

we usually order our meals together & rotate who pays when we do order food. in the last year bf has been working the graveyard shift so he sleeps during the day. roommate has a job that begins early in the morning so he goes to sleep early, around the time bf has to get up for work. i work a hybrid desk job and have been starting up my meds again which make me sleepy, so i usually take a nap in bed with my boyfriend after work if i’m home.

all this to say that recently our mealtimes have been disjointed and we end up missing each other more than not.

the part where me & my boyfriend may be be assholes is: if we wake up and roommate is sleeping, we’ll order in food for ourselves (usually bf has to either take it with him to work or he’ll eat it when he gets back from work). roommate will sometimes order in food for himself when this happens (and sometimes will do so even if it doesn’t) and thats fine with us, but recently he made a comment about us basically “leaving him to fend for himself” when this happens.

to be clear- the shared meals is a courtesy thing bc i didn’t want to feel guilty if we ordered food in as a couple & my roommate had to fend for himself (i’ve mostly gotten over this since he’s a grown man who can take care of himself, but some guilt is still there ngl) we are all aware of this mutual agreement.

for add. context, before he got this current job few months ago, roommate worked an hour a week min wage and was on disability that covered his base living expenses, so he was pretty broke all the time (now he works 4-5 days a week for 6-10 hour days).

during this time bf and i would cover most of the meals (5-6/7 days a week) and have never asked to be paid back since we just considered the times he’s provided meals as equal payment (usually cheaper meals like pizza, when bf and i order in meals that are a bit more substantial).

when he made the fending for himself comment, he also mentioned that he was pretty broke lately because he had to get his dog groomed (but also left out that he spent $200 on trading cards at the beginning of the month, (he’s a grown adult that can spend his money on what he wants (but that also means that his financial state is not my responsibility))

that recent comment put a bad taste in my mouth, and i’m feeling a bit petty so i’m just waiting for him to go to bed before ordering dinner today. (i feel like im at least JAH for this).

bf and i are moving out soon due to misc issues with the apartment so this won’t matter soon but i just wanna know:

AITA?

(also usually when i see super long aita submissions im like damn u can’t condense this a bit?? but now i’ve fallen victim to the very thing i criticized, sorry ppl i unfairly judged)

What are these acronyms?

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.169 Caught up

It's 5:19 a.m., and Desi is giggling, so I guess it's time to get up. Today is her birthday, and I am stoked about celebrating a new chapter of her life. But that joy in tandem with all these deaths, and watching everyone around me get older, has me feeling anxious. In the grand scheme of things, I'm still pretty young, not even a quarter of the way through my adult days. But time feels like it's zooming by. I can't recall exactly when it started, but these last few months have flown by so quickly. It feels like just yesterday I moved in with Sophia, and now I'm grieving the loss of my parents. And I have a toddler now. Where has the time gone? What have I really done with my life? Even though I know I've grown a lot, sometimes I still feel like that scared young man who was afraid of his feelings.

Desiree isn't ready to eat yet, but I'm starving, so I put her in the high chair while I got food for me. I learned my lesson, and she will not scare me like that again. I think she enjoys keeping me company, sitting there, blowing raspberries and saying things to me. She's so chatty so early in the morning. Maybe she's recalling a wild dream she had, heh. I'll always encourage growing her skills, but hopefully she won't end up as chatty as Chi Chi and her daughter. Still, I kinda can't wait to have a real conversation with her. I tell her today is her birthday and about how she'll be a big girl and all the fun things we can do together like go to the park, play in the water, and make friends. She doesn't seem impressed, and I laughed at her unamused face. I guess she's not interested in life outside my arms yet, heh.

Sophia joined us a little later, and I ask for her thoughts about doing play dates with Yasmine's girls. I expected a little resistance, but I didn't expect the full on stone face.

"We made a promise to each other, Luca."

I had not forgotten how we promised to make time for each other no matter how hard or busy things got, but what did that have to do with this? Desi needs to socialize. We may as well do it with kids we already know vs. meeting strangers at the park or whatever. Sophia admits the recent busyness was beyond our control and expresses gratefulness for the pockets of time we made for ourselves. But she also senses me getting caught up. I shift in my chair and tense up because it sounds like she's accusing me of something, and I don't like it.

"You have a huge heart, and I love that about you," she says. "I don't ever want you to stop caring about people, but while you're out here trying to help everyone, I feel like you're gonna edge me out of your life."

I can't lie. Those felt like fighting words, and I couldn't keep it together anymore.

"Edge you out? How could you possibly think that? After all we've been through??"

"No, please, you misunderstood me. I'm just saying I don't want to be left out. You're already gone a lot to look after your niece and nephews. I'm not a babysitter or even your baby mama. I'm you're wife! And we're friends! I miss talking to you and laughing about stupid stuff!"

"I'm not saying I don't want to help Yasmine," she continued. "Just...watch yourself. You're so quick to say yes to everyone, but I don't want you spending all of our time being a hero. Remember to make time for us. Please."

I see what she means now. I guess I have been falling down on the job lately. Taking care of her, Desiree, and the house is noble—endearing, even—but it's no substitute for spending quality time together, not that my goal was to avoid quality time. She shouldn't have to loiter in the living room, waiting for me to come home to spend time with me. I need to be more intentional about it. I still haven't taken her to that restaurant by Dub's house. Maybe it's time to clear the proverbial schedule and do that.

"I'll remember."

[ceilingfan5]

go around

@taznovembercelebration "super au" and "silly"

“Man,” Taako sighs, as quietly as possible. “This is the second time I’ve been a hostage this month.” He’s not tied up this time, at least, but he’s sitting in the back hallway of the bank and regretting his choice of errands today. The guy next to him nods. 

“You too, huh?” He’s pretty, and goth, very serious-with-a-side-of-secretly-goofy, and Taako wants to crack him like a nut. Shame they’re busy waiting for the supervillain of the week to either get got or get his private island and fourteen pounds of gummy worms, or fucking whatever. “It’s ridiculous. They need to spend less money on making flashy superheroes and more on just–security, infrastructure, safety, you know, mental health initiatives-”

“Or maybe we need to break down and be supervillains ourselves.” Taako shrugs, with an I’m JOKING I PROMISE…unless? Air about him. He’s sick of it. 

“Really?” Handsome asks, laughing a little. 

“Really,” Taako says, still kind of joking, but also kind of not joking. “Taako can barely get his errands done when there’s no Captain Backwards Lightning Man in the way, you know? It’s enough to make a guy wanna destroy some well-placed props.”

Handsome laughs. 

“You’re Taako, I take it?”

“In the flesh, skele-fellow. You?”

“Kravitz,” Kravitz says, and then, “Probably. If I’m going to be a villain, you don’t know that, and I’ll have to erase your memories, or something.”

“Or we could be a team,” Taako teases. “We could be the only ones who knew each other’s secret identities. You could come over for chicken alfredo, I could go to yours for game night, little bit of blackmail to keep things spicy-”

Kravitz laughs, and covers his mouth, but it must not be too loud, or maybe the gummy worm accords are going sour, because nothing comes of it except an embarrassing amount of affection from Taako. 

“I wish I had a power worth doing anything drastic about,” he admits, looking at Taako for comiseration or approval or something else that might lead to romance. 

“Yeah? Cha boi’s in the same boat, so keep paddling. Dumber supers have done worse.”

“Really? I mean- about your power, I remember, uh, Pickle Monster.”

“Who could forget.” Taako shakes his head solemnly. “Yeah, no, I can read minds, but only if it’s food related.”

“Seriously?” Kravitz grins. “I love specific powers, but that sort of thing drives me nuts in practice. Like- surely the universe could have been kinder?”

“Would it ever stoop so low?” Taako snorts. “No, seriously, try me.”

“Okay,” Kravitz says, screwing up his nose in the cutest stinking way Taako has ever seen. “What was my dinner last night?”

Taako looks him directly in the eye, feels that weird connection he gets with people sometimes, the sort of way that makes him sweaty and lonely. He steps right into Kravitz’s doorway, looks around his home, wonders if there’s more than meets the eye. Surely. It’s welcoming enough, maybe just because Kravitz is inviting him in, in this moment. Much less of a trespass than it usually is. 

He watches the memory unfold, and feels fond over this dork, who looks so business goth put together on the outside. 

“You air-fryered tater tot nachos,” Taako says, and Kravitz blinks, surprised, and Taako’s shunted right back out. 

“Really? You really got that much?”

“Oh, honey-nugget, I got more than that, I’m just trying to-”

“How much do you get?”

Taako grimaces. 

“Pretty much everything, especially if emotions are, uh, involved? You- uh. You poured frozen tater tots in the air fryer, dropped one on your bare foot and started bleeding, went to put a pokemon bandaid on it, and when it beeped for you to turn the food, and you tried to test one, because your timing was off because the package didn’t have air fryer instructions, you dropped it on your other bare foot and burnt it.” 

Kravitz’s mouth drops open. 

“Sorry?” Taako says, even sweatier. “You opened the door, kemosabe.” 

“Right,” Kravitz says, with a conspicuous glance at his shiny boy shoes. 

“I wasn’t trying to intrude,”

“No, I, get it, I, could have picked something else.” Kravitz clears his throat and loosens his black-on-black rose patterned tie. “Mine isn’t nearly as interesting.”

“Seriously?” Taako snorts. “Maybe you have an eight foot vertical leap, or your snot is acid.” 

“Is acid snot better than mind reading?”

“Dog, everything’s better than mind reading, do you know how fucking loud the world is all the goddamn time?”

“Touché.” Kravitz glances at the noise from the bank lobby, but nothing seems to come of it. He shifts his feet, looking at them again. “I mean, they were good tater tots.”

“Sometimes food that hurts fucks harder.” 

“So true?” Kravitz laughs. “I wish I had super healing, or super-not-being-a-dumbass, but, you know,”

“Man, if I was super-not-a-dumbass, I really could take over the world. Watch out, Townsville! Pew pew!” 

Kravitz looks at him with some kind of goopy eye disease that could be confused for fondness, if you were stupid, like Taako. 

“I just- so, see, I have this knife?”

“Yeah?” Taako looks him over for said knife, which he does not manage to produce. “Taken, was it?”

“Mhm,” Kravitz sighs, glancing at the lobby again. Some loud discussion is going on, between the somebody of police and TToday’s Evil Baddoer. “I can cut these little rifts with it, nothing huge, because it’s just a big fancy pocket knife, but I can store stuff in there, which is kind of neat. One time I climbed through and found myself somewhere else, but it was really difficult, on account of the small blade and all.”

“Yeah?” Taako’s heart pounds. “Seriously? Does it have to be the one knife?”

Kravitz pauses, and then turns to him directly. 

“I’ve only done it with the one knife, I guess. And a grapefruit spoon.” 

“What if-”

“Oh my god.”

“Hear me out-”

“Oh my god.”

Taako casts about for literally any kind of blade, fucking at all. There’s a letter opener that looks like a sword on the Mortgage Guy’s desk, and Taako checks out Super Badguy in the lobby, and then slowly, painfully, starts sneaking his way toward it. Kravitz chews his fingernails behind him, and truly fourteen thousand ice ages later, Taako returns, and hams up presenting the letter opener to Kravitz.

Kravitz stares at it, and hestiates. 

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

“It doesn’t work and you’re mad at me,” Kravitz admits, painfully honest. 

“What if it does work?”

“I’d take you out for dinner,” Kravitz admits, fully focused on the silver blade. 

“What kind?”

“Any sort of food you’d like?” And Taako steps into his mind one more time, slips in through the door, and finds himself in a nice restaurant across from Kravitz in a cute dark purple button up, slut that he is, one button open, just a hint, just a peek, and they kiss over the dessert, which costs way too much for crème brûlée, but Taako won’t tell him that, no sir.

And he zhoops right back out. 

“You have to do it,” he says, a little breathless. Kravitz looks at him, alarmed, and back at the letter opener, whcih he finally takes. He moves it around in the air, getting a feel for it, and then SWIPES–

And a flickering, dark tear in reality appears. Kravitz covers a gasp, Taako doesn’t, and certainly they’ll be spotted soon, but Kravitz tears and rips and hacks into the rip in the universe, and once he gets it big enough, tears at it with his hands, and then gets a knee in there, and there’s a sickening non-sound as it widens ever so slowly, achingly, and Taako watches with deep, embarrassing affection as Kravitz manages to clamber through, looking like an absolute idiot, and turns and reaches an arm out for Taako.

Fucking ROMANCE. 

“I’ve, gotta-”

“We’ll go around and help from the other side, Taako,” Kravitz promises. “It’ll just be way easier if I get literally anything sharper.” 

“Oh,” Taako says, relieved. And he jumps into Kravitz’s arms, because he has the chance, and it’d be more embarrassing if he didn’t take it. 

Any kisses between the jumping and the rescuing are off the record, and also private. So there. 

[id: gameboard with 15 spaces, 1-6 taken up with stickers of a cat, fish, "good worker", door, dragon, and "kapow"]

[casanovawrites]

rp sentence prompts from the society, season 1 — (part 2 of 2)

i sort of like losing track of time.

so, do you? have all you need?

i kind of think it’s actually kind of hopeful.

our parents are still alive. they’re just someplace else, and we have to figure out a way back to them.

there’s got to be a way to get back. doors work both ways.

i really feel like we’ve just been given some hope.

i miss my parents giving me a hard time.

what if there are wolves and bears in the woods?

i avoided you. i was caught up in being straight.

did you ever notice me before?

who died and left you in charge?

i told you, people are not fine. they might be quiet, but that’s not the same thing. they’re scared. and they’re angry.

i want to die. it’s okay. i won’t feel like this.

tell my parents i’m sorry.

i really thought i was gonna die.

you were always a terrible patient.

i’m stoic and tough.

last time you had a cold, you bitched so much you gave it to me.

who’s so angry that they’d try to kill people?

you guys left me in the dark forever.

i want someone else here. you’re creeping me out.

i am allowed to make a political statement. dissent isn’t a crime. 

coincidences happen.

how do you want to live? what about us?

there’s nothing in this place that i want.

you’re afraid of me. everyone’s always afraid of me.

does it make sense? or am i just doing something to do something?

can i sleep here?

you don’t look so impressed.

can we just, for a second, pretend i know what i’m doing?

what, you’re just done with her and onto me?

i thought i knew how i felt and what i wanted. but i didn’t. 

the idea of losing you… i didn’t think i could feel that way about anyone. 

i can’t stop thinking about you. so that’s what that was last night.

you look like shit, by the way.

i’m scared all the time.

i’ve done terrible things. 

this time is going to be different. you’re gonna be more careful.

since when are you superstitious? we can’t think like that right now. it’s a big world.

i am hopeful. but you haven’t seen what i’ve seen.

it’s weird that we never really knew each other in high school.

i’m the wrong person to fuck with, you know?

there aren’t a lot of people who would show up for me like that.

things are fine the way they are. why are you risking this now?

there’s a lot of big decisions i have to make. i don’t want people to think we’re making them together. i don’t want you to think we’re making them together. because they’re my decisions, and i have to make them alone.

just because you decided to show up doesn’t mean it’s a good time for me.

the world changed. it isn’t about what you want or what i want. 

i don’t trust myself to be with you the way i want to be with you.

who the fuck are you to decide what i’m good at?

sometimes i wonder if there’s another version of this world where we’re friends.

if i was home, i’d just get on a bus or a train and go. but there’s no way. there’s no way from here.

i just wanna die. i just wanted to be dead.

we had to forget everything we learned about what life owed us.

you’re right. i’m not in control.

what does it feel like to starve? it’s really slow and painful, isn’t it?

you would eat me? 

there’s not enough of us to eat. we’d buy ourselves maybe a month or two.

if we come back without an answer, people aren’t gonna wait around to starve. we’ll kill each other first for the food that’s there.

has anyone asked, ever, ‘are you okay with any of this?’

fuck off. i don’t need a nanny.

do people just come when you snap your fingers?

you don’t get to demand an audience with me. you’re lucky i showed up.

you’re half right about everything. you know that? and that’s worse than being wrong. that makes you dangerous.

i need power to get things done, but i hate it. and you will too.

i can decide what i think. but i can’t decide that i’m right.

we’re not gonna ask for power. we’re gonna take it.

are you a fucking hero? i don’t think so.

i never had any idea what i wanted to do.

maybe we’re being punished for what our parents did.

maybe we’re here, and there’s no there anymore.

it’s fucking terrifying. we’re just not saying the stuff out loud that we’re afraid of.

do you think we might actually be lucky?

what we have is built on trust, nothing else.

i’m willing to lose out every once in a while. it’s better than chaos.

what are you when you’re on your own, if you really think about it?

i’m sorry if i made you feel like i think less of you. 

you’re still warm, and i’m a little bit lonely. do you mind?

part of me just wishes we could stay out here in the woods. i don’t want so much noise.

no, fuck you. fuck you. i’m not afraid of you anymore.

i want to pull the strings a bit, that’s all.

it gets bad. but it’s not gonna get that bad.

i know what you’re thinking. ‘what am i doing, this isn’t me.’ but it is you. that’s how fast it happens.