#sometimes they just sound a bit dickish

[fcrewell-wxnderlust]

Putting two thumbs up, Vala turned to head back to the wreckage, assuming they'd go solo while she handled the passengers, but froze and turned back as she spoke again. It was a reasonable assumption to make, given someone would need to take charge of the group at some point or other. Or everything would devolve into chaos. As Golding said, 'We've got to have rules and obey them. After all, we're not savages.'

Despite the fact that the woman said nothing false, nor did she yell at them, they still felt like they were being sent to the principal's office. She was impressive, if not mildly terrifying. She would be a Hell of a leader. "Okay. Do you want any help with anything here, before that?" They felt bad, dragging her with them on their little hunt, when she probably had better things to do. Like what, sunbathe? I was thinking more along the lines of saving people from themselves, getting them somewhere safer, that kinda thing. ...right.

Nichole wasn't about to reveal this to the other person, but it was always something she thought was funny, that the medical kit was stored in first class. Not in the actual funny way, large belly laugh way, but in the ironic, weird way. What did it say about airlines, like Amtransa, and airplane manufacturers that they put the critical medical supplies so close to the wealthiest people on the flight? She knew the statement would come off ironic, if not inappropriate, coming from her mouth given her family's socioeconomic status. But it was still a thought she had sometimes.

She took herself out of her head, though, and cleared her throat to respond, "Yes, the first class cabin is at the front," A simple enough sentence. Straight to the point. But when the other started talking about getting these things for her, and all of this dangerous mission back to the plane seemingly by themself, Nichole had to use all the self-restraint in her not to roll her eyes. Of course this would be a passenger like this' mentality. But there was no way in hell that was happening.

"No," She simply said at first, with a firm tone, before she continued, "If you're going to take a risk like this, you're not getting either the med kit, and certainly not the radio, alone. I'm coming with you." She said. It went against everything she stood for, and what she was telling passengers. But she couldn't cause a passenger's death by allowing them to do this alone.

[eldritch-spouse]

Hi! I love your characters and writing a lot! They keep me warm during cold winter nights. Not to sound like a whore, but I was wondering if Kalymir goes through heats?

[A heem heem, thenk you. :''7. This'll be fun.]

Oh boy, does he. Kalymir's heats are, well, more like a survival horror video game from your point of view- Let's put it that way...

Pre-heat signs are hard to gauge since he's already so irritable normally, but you might pick up on a spike of frustration if you've known him for a while. He has a tendency to grind his teeth and huff a lot. Kalymir actually gets quieter around this time. He's thinking about you during these early stages, so he makes it a point to stash most of his weapons away (so that he can't grab them when hormones take his mind). Although, in his usually dickish fashion, the demonlord won't tell you he's going into heat- He'll just tell you to be ready for the next day, because he'll be coming for you.

Kalymir doesn't necessarily nest. In typical wrath demon fashion, the first thing he's doing is hunting for himself, eating lots, then gunning straight for your ass. Hopefully, you take his advice to heart and stay alert, wake up early, enough to have a running start when you hear him howling your name as he starts fucking barreling through the halls of his own mansion. Hiding can be a good strategy, but not for long, he'll dismantle entire rooms if he's sure you're there.

It's safe to say it's only a matter of time until you're found. Make no mistake, imps will not come to your aid, at most, they'll tell you to actively harm the King. Stab him, throw projectiles, claw and bite and shriek- Sure, it only arouses him more, but it can also buy you more time to escape (remember that one time you bit his slit?). Though taken with heat, Kaly's drilled it into his brain that you're fragile, so he's not too likely to crush you, unless you deliberately reject him- Rest in pieces then.

When you're caught, his hand is tight on your neck as you're led to your own bedroom (shared bed chambers really) and savagely fucked. That knot will hurt, but at the very least, he only flares the literal spikes on his dick when he's peacocking for attention. You can try to fight for dominance over these encounters, but he's significantly less gentle than usual, there's room for you to get seriously injured. Perhaps, if you can somehow sedate him, Kalymir will be more manageable. He's still loud as fuck.

Courtship displays include bringing you severed heads, teeth, horns, pelts, etc... He'll also come back covered head to toe in blood and stand in front of you, like that's supposed to be the hottest trick he could ever pull. The demonlord will sometimes attempt to initiate games of cat and mouse by stomping his feet to startle you and keeping doors wide open. Speaking of, he doesn't lock anything, feel free to run, at your own peril that is.

If you don't want to run, or rather, if you're scared shitless and want to risk the least amount of bodily harm, you can always surrender early. The same gestures you'd do with Breg count- Belly exposed, neck bared, palms up. You can also just kneel in front of him. Kalymir will puff up and get very smug, dragging his little trophy mate away.

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Okay I NEED to know your NSFW alphabet on Mr Mickey Altieri! I know requests are closed but you’re my favourite smut writer of all time and I know you’d DEVOUR

Oh Anon! I’m your favourite?! That is so sweet! So I know the requests are closed indeed but Mickey has been hitting and hitting hard as of late and it’s been too long since I have done an alphabet so let’s get into it and treat you and everyone else too!

---

Mickey Altieri NSFW Alphabet.

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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

So this is very dependent I feel on what you did previously, you get appropriate aftercare based off of the scene, something very kink filled and intense? More aftercare in accordance. He is really keyed into your needs, I think his favourite form of aftercare is sharing a shower together to clean up, followed up with getting some food, with lots of casual physical closeness and affection all throughout, a real cuddler when all is said and done, also not fussy at all about letting you sleepover in his bed.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Oooh now this is an interesting one to think about. I like to think that Mickey is really into how he looks without his shirt on, not insecure about that in the least, a bit unconventional but not in a dickish overly confident way, he just knows he is put together well in the regard, arms, chest, stomach, he looks just flat out good, not super strong or cut but let’s call it, defined. He is very well defined. 

Mickey is an ass man. I don’t make the rules but he just reads as an ass man. Loves, loves, loves how it looks in jeans, loves touching, holding onto it while fucking you, spreading you open, just all of it, loves.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Can you say cumwhore? Cuz I can. I think he loves it messy and dirty, this guy wants to make a mess of you, he wants to cum on or in you! A fave is in doggy style, he let’s off a shot in you and then pulls out, strokes himself and finishes the rest of the way over your ass and adores to watch it from there, how it leaks out of your hole and runs down your skin, more glazed than a fresh Krispy Kreme donut. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Okay going back into the cum thing! You know what is one of his biggest and hottest fantasies? Hear me out! He kills someone in his apartment, a real messy, nasty affair, he cleans it all up and then you come over. He is still high off the kill, you fuck, he pulls out, he cums on you but whoops, some of it ends up on the floor. Whatever to do? He forces you down there, he makes you lick up the mess, getting off on the fact that he killed someone earlier in that very spot with you, totally and completely unaware of that fact. It is dirty and degrading and that is part of what makes it so hot! He loves how depraved and wrong it is. Also he is almost always hard when killing someone.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Mickey gives me the vibe that he reinvented himself in a big way when he got to college, not saying he was a loser in high school but he certainly doesn’t read as too much of a player or a fuckboy back then but not a virgin either. I think he has fucked around a good amount for someone his age, slightly above average number and experience. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Face down ass up. No question to me at all, loves the control of it, loves the submission, the view, you just know sometimes when he is really into it he has a hand on the back of your head or the side of your face, holding you down extra hard as he is just railing into you. He loves how deep he can get in this position too, and the sounds he can make you make? Fantastic.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Intense for sure, but the guy can be a bit silly or goofy, can crack a few jokes, isn’t afraid to laugh a bit like any good partner is able to in my opinion. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

The dude is well trimmed with good hygiene no doubt, nails trimmed and yes I would say the hair matches the darker base he has, I doubt he has the highlights down there.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I think he can be a really charming guy and yes he can be romantic but hear me out, I think that comes out the most with someone he can be totally vulnerable and open with. I think the ultimate ideal is to have a killer partner, someone he can share that part of himself with and who fully understands it. The intimacy of that, the bonding of those experiences makes him just a little soft and sappy. A killer partner brings out the romance in him in a massive way.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

The guy is getting off at least once every two days but prefers once a day at minimum. The sessions are usually quick and dirty, a fistful of lube and some tissues ready to go in the other while thinking of some of his favorite memories from previous kills and he is good. Once a week though there has to be a longer and more dedicated session, more time and care is taken to really make sure he explodes. One of those orgasms that leaves you sleepy and satisfied down to your bones, you know? Has jerked off in some risky places to increase the pleasure, would do so again. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Video Taping: This man wants to make a sex tape. He wants to film you. He wants to capture you on film and have it always. Almost exclusively what he likes to get off to during those longer sessions.

Cock Worship: Act like you love his dick and need it more than air, make love to his cock with your mouth please, play it up, act like his personal porn star and pour on the praise too, please.

Gagging/Choking: He wants to make you gag on his dick, he wants you to WEAR a gag, the muffled sounds do everything for him as you struggle to communicate, he loves to have a hand on you throat and choking you, the danger and the rest does it for him.

Spitting: Let him spit in your mouth, spit is the best lube to him, it adds to the mess in a wonderful way he can’t get enough of. 

Edging/Denial: He likes being a dick, he likes working you up, he enjoys denying you and making you a needy, desperate, writhing thing, begging for relief, (he also loves begging)

Forced Orgasm: And then this is the flip side, he loves forcing you to cum over and over again. Which mood will you get? Who’s to say. Also who’s to say he won’t mix them? Extended edging and denial leading to forced orgasms galore. 

And let’s run a few more through here, home invasion scenarios, rope play, knife kink, exhibitionism, risky semi-public hook-ups, dirty talk. And there is of course more but that is good for now.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Places that you should not be fucking. Stairwells, empty classrooms on campus, the library stacks, in front of a window at night, just places that you should not be and seriously risk getting caught.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Danger, risk, someone showing clear interest in him, getting his ego stroked. Also I think the guy has a soft spot for some lingerie, but not the really fancy stuff, I am thinking a matched bra and panty set that strikes the balance right in the middle between high end special occasion stuff and everyday cotton, some nicer materials, a little lace, a cute bit of detailing like a bow. Hot, inviting, decidedly not ostentatious though, you clearly put it on in hopes he would see it but you are still comfortable. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Okay I don’t think he would ever go to a sex club. He likes doing it places that you aren’t supposed to, he likes the risk, going to a place that is built in to fuck in public? Having people see you like that start to finish? No, too vulnerable, too open, takes a lot of the fun out of it. The idea is fun for five seconds before he thinks seriously about it, he doesn’t even like the idea of just watching strangers bang it out, that is what renting porn tapes is for. Also, do not degrade him during sex, he can do that to you, but do not talk down to him while fucking in any kind of serious capacity, it will not go over well.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He wants to take, he loves to receive more than he gives, loves to have you on your knees or however with his dick in your mouth and down your throat. A big favourite, the best way to get rid of early morning wood is in your mouth. A million ways to get head, a fast and hard throat fuck or a slow and languid lazy blow job are both great. This man would also go to a glory hole with you, strikes the balance between public and the rest enough to click just so. 

He gives though! Oh he gives, he is no slouch when it comes to oral he just prefers to get it and will give great direction and praise when getting, but he gives. He is pretty skillful, he listens and pays attention, and again, he loves it messy. If he can get you to squirt while he is down there the dude has the biggest and cockiest grin all damn day. Also his preferred method of edging is with you on the end of his tongue. Also the man can get down with a good 69, on the couch? Midway through watching a movie? Seeing who can make who break and cum first? Yes.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on the day but fast and rough is his usual modus operandi. He can slow it down and get softer for fucking sure and can really enjoy it in the right context but fast and hard just feels so good and is amazing to get caught up in, it’s hard to resist. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Loves, loves, loves a good quickie, sneaking one in on lunch, between classes, here and there, boosts his mood in a major way, makes him extremely happy. Would like a few a week, doesn’t have to be outright full penetration, oral and hand stuff is more than okay for a quick one and helps keep things fresh and interesting.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yes! As I have laid out here multiple times he looooves risks. Also he is super into trying whatever you want for the most part he will try anything once. Only risk he is not about is a pregnancy risk, too young with too much to worry about and do without bringing a kid into it all. Loves cumming in you raw though so if you can get pregnant some form of birth control is a must.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He is a young, dumb and hung college guy! He is healthy, some decent athleticism, of course he can go for multiple rounds. He has pretty good control on himself and when he busts, the first round is the shortest but give him a good ten minutes and he is right back to it, will touch and/or eat you out until he is hard again and up to the task. Overall average length rounds, he goes two with relative ease, most in one night I would say is five.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I do not think he owns any toys himself, he owns rope though and gets real creative with it. He would use toys on you if you had any, I think he would love to use vibrators in particular on his partner, they make his whole forced orgasm kink go nuts, making it much easier to achieve, he would use them till you are an overstimulated wreck. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

So. Much. He loves to tease, a favourite hobby and pastime, he can, would and will tease you any time, any place and can be totally relentless. If you cry maybe he will stop. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Due to a lot of the risky hookups he likes to engage in he cannot be that loud. He will still whisper filthy things in your ear and let out some solid groans that he cannot rein in because it just feels too good. Alone? He is much louder. Cursing, panting, praise, degradation, and you guessed it, even more dirty talk.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Mickey loves overstimuation but not just doing it to you, he likes it being done to him too but won’t ask for it at first. You continuing to suck after he has already cum has him inhaling sharply, sucking his teeth and gripping his seat for dear life, squirming and gasping like, “Shi-shit! Fuck, oh my Goddd, it’s too much-” He’s lying. Don’t stop.

He does it to himself too. Even after he has cum in you, he keeps on moving, grinding his hips, fucking into you with his still hard dick and practically whining, “Hurts s’ good-” He just can’t stop himself! The pleasurepain on occasion is a good change of pace, totally enjoyable. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

The guy is thick, I think he has a slightly above average length but he is thick, well above average girth, it takes some care to get it in but my lord the stretch! Gorgeous. Circumcised, pretty pink head, pronounced veins, the balls are a good solid handful and just begging to be played with (carefully, a little rough treatment sometimes, but carefully still), good upward curve, leans just a touch to the left. Pre-cum is a rare affair but he makes up for it with some truly thick and plentiful loads. I am talking if you are blowing him be prepared to swallow at least once in the middle to make sure you get it all in you without making a mess. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

The dude has a healthy sex drive, he wants to fuck at least three times a week, two quickies with one longer session, and he needs a few of those kinks satisfied every other time at least. He will not turn you down, if you have a higher drive and want it five times a week he can give you that. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Soon as the aftercare is done the guy is out. If it is a bigger, longer, kinky session at night where you guys are actually in a bed, nowhere to be and he can crash then yes, he is falling asleep wrapped around you. Cuddly sleeper. 

[nerdyfan1]

Btw I’ll always argue Pentious is not just a gag character and his arc is probably the best one in season one. In fact not only do I like him more in the actual show then how he is in the pilot but, I think the show makes him in the pilot make more sense.

Idk I noticed some ppl were expecting him to be way more serious. Which doesn’t really fit season 1 at all. Here now we got a more interesting character with a good set up for depth later on along with something that both makes sense with what was established in the pilot (cus yes I actually do think deep down Pentious was always a bit soft and his behavior in the pilot along with towards the beginning before he got used to everyone in the hotel is him reacting to his environment) and fits the general tone. I noticed that a lot of ppl really wanted to seem more depressed or serious while having his softer more goofy side underplayed (or be just be completely dickish which sounds super uninteresting lol) without really trying to understand why he was written this way in the official show to begin with. They clearly wrote him this way to show his progress in the hotel. He doesn’t start sad wet uwu babygirl, go back it’s more of a result of him soften around ppl like Charlie and the rest of the cast. That’s kind of the point. Like idk I wouldn’t have this man be any other way. 💖

Hearing about the interviews and stuff including how they do plan to explore his backstory kind of tells me what I was expecting. Idk we can’t expect all the characters to be dark and serious in the first season we need to have some endearment first. Following this show as episodes reminded me why I usually hate following currently airing stuff cus ppl always assume stuff way too soon. I understand some ppl can have skepticism but, I do think ppl should at least try to trust the writers know what they are doing. The creator been working on this concept for god knows how long.

Besides I’ll always in favorite of a more openly emotionally softer male character in animation that the rest of the cast doesn’t mock specifically for seeming so “sensitive”. Especially in adult animation. I love how the cast realized this is just how Pentious is and don’t mind it. It helps emphasize the arc that Pentious just really needed someone who accepted him for who he was deep down. He able to open up and feel comfortable as himself. Idk I like that it’s a way more interesting direction to take.

Sorry btw for how ranty this is I’m a picky guy and as you can probably tell I’m pretty passionate about this specific character but, also the show as a whole. I try to keep in mind what the actual show is trying to accomplish when it comes to this and it’s so so sooo important to remember what the source material is like. Along with the creator. There are times when the creator insight ends up with a bad end result however I don’t see that here. At least in terms of season 1.

Idk if ppl really get this but, thought I’d throw it out there cus you guys seem to like when I ramble about this man so yeah while trying to figure out my Cherri Bomb theory post out um have unfiltered Pentious thoughts. Cus I never really went into detail why I like him in the actual show anyways. Cus my problems with uwuifed Pentious is more a community thing. Even at that it’s not as bad just sometimes annoying.

Guys I’m a Tobias Wilson fan, trust me I’ve seen far worse fandom butchering of a sad lil guy. Besides Pentious is definitely cute that issue more me being bothered ppl pretend the canon Pentious is exclusively a gag character who is soft and cute. Pentious is probably one of the most misinterpreted character along with Alastor.

[jamiesfootball]

For the word thing: Greyhound, goal and/or grin.

Many thanks!

I did fifteen minute word sprints for each of these, resulting in 323 new words.

Snippets inclusive of the new bits below

Greyhound (The Vacant House Behind Our Home) - 87 new words

The good news: Dani had a team. There was a locker room, and a room of people dressed in uniform who smiled kindly at him and understandingly at the jacket protecting his modesty. One of them ran to fetch him clothes, and another approached him with a towel and an inhumanly kind smile. He introduced himself as Sam. He welcomed Dani to Richmond. Holding out a football uniform, he informed Dani that he was a greyhound now. He pulled on the clothes but stopped to examine he shirt he had been given. His name, of course, did not appear, but it also bore no number - not even a sponsor. It was right blue, with a long red stripe down one side, dripping red like blood. Over the stripe, in the spot above the heart, the white figure of a dog blinked at him trapped within the confines of a dark blue dark cage. Unnerved, he quickly pulled the shirt over his head.

Goal (I still feel like the same person I've been) - 40 new words

Richmond needed a striker, someone to make plays and score goals, and Roy wanted someone with actual fucking experience, not some young twat fresh out of the U-23s who still creamed his pants when he got minutes. That was the first thing he'd been introduced to at Richmond: Roy's anger, and how he wasn't picky about it landed. Which was fine. Jamie had plenty of exposure to the dickishness of professional footballers coming up through the academy. He played professionally at the highest level. He didn't get starry eyed anymore. So Roy Kent was a giant dick- who cared?

Grin (I'm a fine line on a razor's edge (you couldn't ask me to be worse) - 196 new

Jamie stepped forward. James's fist turned white where it clenched around the bottle. "If you want my help, if you want anything to do with me, then you owe me that." It didn't sound like him talking; sounded like someone else, someone carved strong and sturdy who never would've put up with this shit in the first place. With his heartbeat rushing through his ears, he made his demand: "You owe me an apology." For a bizarre moment, he wondered if maybe his dad couldn't hear him. If maybe he hadn't spoken at all, he'd just imagined it really vividly the way he did sometimes, because his dad stood there, bottle in hand, not saying anything or making any sudden movements - although Jamie was ready for it this time, knew damn well what kind of trap he was setting for himself, speaking to his dad like that. He was ready. Then James grinned at him, and he wasn't ready at all. "Nah. I don't owe you shit."

[f0point5]

Re: the recent landogate Funny thing about this man is that sometimes he gives such good responses and seems to genuinely be able to self reflect (ex. "I'm not a well rounded driver like Max and Lewis", "I don't want to be given wins" etc.) and then he will utter the most stupid thing he could because he does not think well before speaking (probably not with bad intent). As for the recent debacle, I don't think it was as deep as people made it seem and I reckon he hadn't seen that picture of George post race, obviously looking worse than the other drivers due to the overheating Mercedes car. So I wouldn't even deem this a proper "landogate". It certainly was weird though. The vast majority of landogates are snippets from interviews taken way out of context. There are some instances, though (of which I found out about very recently) where he has said things that I cannot find a way to justify properly. And he seems scared to own up to them sometimes. I don't think his age could justify them necessarily (I'm the same age). The "fans" (big emphasis on the quotes) really make it even worse. I don't know if he actually understands when he has fucked up. It's just so weird because I really, really root(ed) for him cause I genuinely believe that he races well (and Oscar, ofc, I find it wild how they try to make them seem like they have beef when they don't) and like. Idk. I feel a bit iffy about it all rn haha. In the end, they are all rich boys and I definitely won't be losing sleep over them lol.

I always figure Lando’s responses are always visceral. They seem to just be based on who is around and how he feels in the moment, which also seems based on who’s around and what’s going on for him professionally at the time.

So like, he’s sitting next to Max and Lewis, very aware he’s being filmed, probably not entirely comfortable, asked a question that specifically compares him to the guys next to him, so it’s at the forefront of his mind how much they have achieved and how much he doesn’t want to piss people off so he says something complimentary. Conversely, after a bad day, high on adrenaline, feeling like a petulant child who just had their toy stolen, being spoken to directly and not asked to engage with anyone else, he might say something really dickish in the media pen, and then only remember later how it will come across.

I genuinely think what he says is how he feels in the moment and then sometimes he can’t fully connect with what he said previously or is embarrassed to have said it. I don’t think he’s some evil mastermind who has some big Shkeem (James Charles knows) to denigrate Lewis or erode Max’s self esteem. I think he just talks as he thinks.

I still don’t see what the big deal was about the Merc comment. “Toto Wolff issues health update” does sound like something one would laugh at, considering he probably saw George and Lewis later after they’d recovered and knew they were fine. Merc released a video of them joking around later that evening. “Health update” made it sound like they’d been hospitalised, instead of suffered adverse effects of the sport that they were well prepared for, and specifically train for, and recovered from shortly afterwards. I genuinely think he was just like “what do you mean health update? They had heatstroke, we all have heatstroke, we all get heatstroke every year…why do we need an update”. Did he articulate any of that? No. Could he articulate that off the cuff? Probably also no. But he was playing a game on stream, not hosting a podcast.

People overdramatise everything he says, and his fans are wayyy too quick to defend his foot in mouth disease. And it just makes for Stan wars. Because you can’t have a sensible conversation about the fact that Lando does in fact put his foot in it very often for someone who is in front of a camera so much. It’s either “he’s the worst person ever he should die” or “omg he’s the kindest person alive who has never had an impure thought how dare you”. And in reality, it’s neither of those things. He’s a 24 year old who doesn’t speak well…it’s really not the end of the world.

But at the end of the day…he’s just a boy who races cars. Like him, don’t like him…he doesn’t give a fuck about any of us, nor should he, and people on both sides of the fence need to realise that

[fyrewalks]

continued from here // @lcvesdeath

The smile should absolutely terrify him. He should register the way the air shifts, how the moment changes as Jake's cold smile settles into place. Maybe he does notice, but Bob can't find it in himself to care that he won't be able to take any of his words back - that he's toeing the edge of an impossibly fine line into unabashed recklessness and stupidity. He won't be scared off by whatever dickish remark Jake has to say in response.

He can handle it - tonight and tomorrow, when the inevitable hangover crashes and drags him under. He doesn't think he'll regret this.

And then he's pushed backwards, limbs too uncoordinated to put up any sort of fight. The world blurs, the movement too sharp for him to follow. His glasses crunching under Jake's heel doesn't help. An undignified sound leaves his lips as he's shoved against the wall. He wills the world back into focus. Bob breathes hard through his nose and wrenches his head to free himself from Jake's strong grasp. It connects with the brick behind him. Hard.

Dazed, he blinks away the stinging tears. He doesn't notice the blood welling at his lip, bitten during his harsh movement. Electricity buzzes just under his skin. It's not the same high he gets when he's flying, when blue sky blends together with ocean hues in an indecipherable mix. It's thrilling, addicting, and worth the chase all the same. "You're not Maverick, either."

"No one cares what happens to you," he continues, unshrinking. It's the first lie he's told tonight. They survived the impossible, that required trust. "No one's watching your back. Not up there and not when you step into a big chicken dinner." Bad conduct discharge. Rare as they were, it was a reminder that what they did on the ground mattered. Even with out it, brass could find any reason to keep them from flying. Their skills were unmatched, they had proven that, but Bob knows politicking and egos often took precedence. If the rumors were to be believed about the Dagger Squad being made permanent than they were all under increased scruntiny. Sometimes, all brass needed was an excuse to set something in motion - or halt it all together.

He pushes his hair, loose and wild, from his forehead, frowning. "Punch me, threaten me - I don't care, Seresin." It's reckless, akin to the bullshit he'd gotten himself into during college. As wizzo, he makes life or death decisions in a matter of seconds. He's supposed to have a good head on his shoulders, to stay calm as everything goes to shit around him, but the moment he has just a little bit too much to drink - it all evaporates. All the times he's expected to keep everything buttoned up and in check, leftover fear from the bird strike and the lingering unease from surviving something they shouldn't have, comes spilling out into something messy. He's stupid and foolish and begging for trouble. "One good deed doesn't make a good man." The words carry the same sentiment as before, but it's a reminder to himself to not fall for Seresin's act. A reminder he might not remember once he's sober.

[m39]

Decade of DOOMstruction(2000s): Partial and total conversions

Welcome, everyone, to the world of WAD conversions. Where you will find a lot of bizarre things – from WADs that add/change some of the mechanics of the original games, to the ones that turn into the entirely new game themselves.

And this category starts off completely nuts.

2000 – ZANZAN

And by nuts, I mean 3D models. Yes, just by 2000, there was already a WAD that implemented fully 3D models to the Doom WAD. An insane milestone that somehow worked.

But what about the rest of it? Well, it’s good; it is fun to play. Interesting weapons and enemies (and I finally learned how one of the weapons worked), it has branching paths (even if it all boils down to sparing the first boss or not from what I’ve seen), and the locations look great as well.

So basically, worth checking out, if only for the models. It felt kind of janky to play it again, though, so here’s my warning.

2001 – THE DARKEST HOUR

Yeah, not gonna lie, I wasn’t really excited to replay this WAD. It didn’t end up that bad, but at this point, this might be the WAD that aged up the most poorly.

It might give the Star Wars vibes, but at the same time the unskippable cutscenes are atrocious to sit through, fighting enemies tends to get annoying due to the fact that almost all of them are thinner than their original counterparts so you miss your shots more, and even the vibes that I mentioned earlier tend to fall apart because not all of the sound effects are replaced.

That’s what I think about this WAD now (not counting other, less severe cons). Honestly, you can skip this one.

2002 – CAVERNS OF DARKNESS

Another WAD that didn’t age that well. While I still think it’s good, it has tendencies for some annoying gimmicks, mostly when it comes to the modified enemy roster. Still, the moments where it shines are top-notch (most of the time, at least).

I have nothing else to add for this one. Check it out if you are interested.

2003 – DOOM RAIDER: CRYPT OF THE VILE

This map still holds up. It’s still fun to play, even if the traps seem to be a little bit too dickish (I know it was made like that on purpose, but still).

But the bugged section with the yellow key is even worse now than before. Previously, it had bugged toxic clouds that had infinite height even when infinitely tall monsters were turned off. It still functioned like a damaged floor, thankfully (with some additional damage for a few seconds later on). But now, with GZDoom 4.13, as soon as you start jumping above these pits, you are immediately poisoned. At this point, I don’t think it’s even possible to get past this part of the map without god mode.

Still, if you are interested in playing this map, go ahead. But don’t expect to finish it without cheating.

2004 – CHOSEN

If you are a sucker for ancient Egypt stuff, this WAD is perfect for it. It’s still really fun to play it, even if the lost soul replacement tends to be more annoying and enemies with shields are kind of a slough to fight with.

This one, unlike Caverns of Darkness, aged up rather well. Check it out. It’s underrated.

2005 – SIMPLICITY

Despite my latest playthrough being less than stellar and RNG being against me yet again, I was still having a blast while playing it. Two episodes of maps that you will probably finish in less than ten minutes full of non-stop actions, bosses at the end of each one, and with more arcade vibes if you are into it. It does get dickish sometimes, though.

It’s still a great WAD, though. Check it out.

2006 – ZEN DYNAMICS

This one is a big, stinky, mixed bag. It looks and sounds great, but gameplay-wise, while most of the new weaponry is good, some of the fights are hard for the wrong reasons, some of the enemies leak bullshit, and the reloading mechanics feel too slow to at least 1/3rd of weapons, making already annoying fights even more annoying. Not to mention how you lose all of your weapons in like 3-4 times as you enter a new map (plus taking away the best weapon in the final battle).

At least you can skip the more annoying cutscenes.

2007 – CHEOGSH

After playing Cheogsh 2, I was kind of skeptical about returning to its predecessor. And, yes, there are still problems here that became more severe in the sequel – unskippable cutscenes where you are frozen still (but at least in the sequel you could skip most of them), catacombs section that turns into the switch-hunting slog with the most annoying new enemy (nightmare), and trying to guess what to do next (mostly in the town section).

And yet, despite all of that, this WAD still rocks. Sure, the problems mentioned above ARE severe (although the last one not so much), but thankfully, the map’s pros greatly overwhelm them, whenever with its atmosphere, locations, music, spiced-up enemy roster (even though fresh meat might be a tiny bit too annoying); it’s all done well; and it pisses me off even more that Cheogsh 2 could’ve been great sequel to an overly great map, and it ended up as something that, if not already painfully outdated, it will become such.

100% recommendation to the first Cheogsh. Be wary of its… quirks mentioned above, though.

2008 – CHEX QUEST TRILOGY

Something that shouldn’t work in the first place, and yet, it slapped. And it still slaps now. Started as a bonus to Chex Cereals in the late 1990s’, ended as a trilogy of two, remastered episodes and the third, new one.

I don’t really have anything else to say about it, other than everything in this WAD is, at worst, good. Go check it out. Possibly a great choice for a first FPS for kids.

2009 – TRIBUTE WAD

Well, that’s an oddball here – a WAD compatible only with Skulltag, AKA the multiplayer-focused source port.

But despite the jankiness of this old source port, and the WAD itself, it was actually a blast to play it. Sure, you have to rustle for a while with Skulltag, some of the WAD’s weapons feel unnecessary and the humor in it might be outdated even by the time it was released, but under all of this is a fun WAD to check out. It makes me wish for a GZDoom port for it (or at least for ZDoom).

If you are willing to survive the outdated source port Skulltag is and make sure it works for your requirements for the lack of better words, you can give Tribute a shot.

WINNER

For me, when it comes to the best partial/total conversion WAD of the 2000s, it all came down between Simplicity and Cheogsh. And after thinking for a while, I have decided to give the Acid Trip award for the best partial/total conversion WAD of the decade to Simplicity. Cheogsh has many things that are better than in the former WAD, but it also has moments where it stagnates the progress for the sake of unnecessary quirkiness, while Simplicity doesn’t stop on its tracks. It knows what it is, and it doesn’t try to be more than dumb fun.

Of course, Cheogsh gets named the runner-up, along with Chosen, Chex Quest Trilogy, and Tribute WAD (because why the hell not; let’s give it some recognition). I would also name Doom Raider as such, but uhm… it’s busted now, and I don’t think it can be finished without cheats (at least on GZDoom).

…

Oh wait… There is also the case of-

DIAZ: LAST HOURS OF PURITY

Now then. Diaz is a gameplay mod that I wasn’t that fond of when playing; it was a janky mod with annoying randomness in enemy variety, and weapons that couldn’t automatically reload and did that by magazine and not bullets.

Still, it’s the only mod in the category of gameplay mods, so let’s give it an award. And I have a special award for it – Lucifer’s Bane, for the best Doom gameplay mod of the decade.

…

It still doesn’t say much about this mod.

“EPILOGUE”

And that’s all for the Decade of DOOMstruction when it comes to the 2000s’. Of all of the period’s highs and lows, at least I can say that ZDoom WADs got much better from the early to the late 2000s, and how the technicality in WADs became much more complex for the lack of better words again (that includes vanilla).

And although the main part of DoD is finally behind me there is still some other WAD-related stuff to do before entering my foot into the 2010s – replaying some of the runners-up from the 2000s’ AND 1990s that were close to winning their year-related Revenant Award, but due to one thing or another, they failed; playing some bonus WADs/maps released up to 2009 (which now that think about it, it’s just one); and also a pseudo essay about a certain WAD that might have became the one that I despise the most… and a review of another WAD that mocks what this WAD (and others alike) did.

And as for me, I’m taking a break from reviewing for around a week.

Let’s hope I won’t be filled with cringe playing some of the oldest WADs again.

Oh, end by the way ==> MERR KRIMA!!1!

[monstermaster13]

Werebelushi:

I would like to apologize for the rant I did about character transformation writers not only did it sound transphobic of me but also ignorant because I did not know bigender was a thing at the time and yes I do know that it's not the same as non-binary, the original rant was deleted and also it was not finished, so I had much more to say but in hindsight I wish I could have put more effort into it. Keep in mind I am not against people of any sexual orientation or species of race of any kind and I sounded like an idiot, and also said rant was unfinished, and yes I know that toxic person comment's sounded dickish but then again it did anyway because here's the thing, accusing someone of being a coward for using a character to express themselves is just moronic. Do these people not know that reviewers use characters all the time? Yeah, real movie characters are just themselves on screen all the time but most of the infamous ones have personas they use. Also fyi, Nathan's song parodies are NOT meant to be perfect in anyway but who you are to call them horrible if you have not even read them? It's like me saying 'oh the Lord of the Rings books are terrible' when I only saw the movie adaptation.

My issue with character tfs whether it be live action, animated, anime, comics, etc is that so many of them seem to like using MC aka mind changes and I don't like that because it's a dark ending and well identity death always scares me, the gender identity of the authors or artists isn't the issue, it's just the heavy focus on corruption and MC that really disturbs me, is it so hard to get a character tf that doesn't enforce that trope over and over? I have already made a rant about the incident in general and the person who started it so I got that off my chest, but I am just going to say my reason for not liking anime character transformations in general is that I feel that these can be down without so much of the dark and gruesome aspects, I like character transformations it's just I don't like MC.

Is that too much to ask? Look it was in 2022 and two weeks after Gilbert Gottfried's death, I was trying not to start the year off on a bummer but I get not one but two people making stupid accusations about me acting like using a character to vent out is cowardly and I did not need that. Do these people not know that's what actual authors do sometimes? The original 'anime tf writer' rant from that year was not complete and was not what I wanted to get across, that was just a random mini-rant and that was it, an incomplete mini-rant that I foolishly published without knowing I did not finish it.

I never meant to offend anyone or attack them for their gender identity, the only time I actually have gone at length about someone is when I rant about Kurvos and that's because I genuinely do not like him as a person, I feel that his reviews (which are gone) showed him at his most hypocritical, and I am not attacking him for his sexuality, I am just saying that he comes across as whiny and hypocritical. And also his argument with Nathan over the Tangled review was really what started it.

For the record Kurvos argued with Nathan on Youtube too..if Kurvos actually does claim to like Disney movies why does he always complain about how it's pandering to having a gay female character and why did he do that bizarre YTP clip that had dark creepy Disney music playing over a happy scene from Huncback? I am sorry but out of all the scenes, why one of the only scenes in which Quasimodo is happy?

And also I only specifically rant about the commissions Avianine does, not the author herself, just her character. And yes there is a bit of lore behind Ciel, Ciel used to be a male character who was cursed into being female but he/she eventually began to like it, that's why Ciel likes turning into a boy I guess. It's just I don't like Ciel as a character or understand why so many people commission for tfs involving her. I would never wish harm on Avianine herself even if I do make fun of the bad dialogue in her comics sometimes.

This is the official and definitive version of that mini-rant and of course it comes with an apology, I apologize for whatever happened that caused the sort of drama from two years ago to become a thing and for not thinking about my words or being careful with what I said, it was a mistake. And I am not in any way harming anyone.

[trashlie]

Not to be INCREDIBLY ME but because I’m very much on my Stalkyoo BullshitTM I was revisiting our favorite episode 93, because it always gets to me (THE EARBUD SCENE IS INCREDIBLY LOADED, HIS HAND ON THE EARBUD SHE PLACED IN HIS EAR MIRRORING HIS HAND ON HIS COAT WHERE SHE GRIPPED IT, ALWAYS A LINGERING WONDERING TOUCH, THE TEXT TO DIETER AND THE FURROW IN HIS BROW, THE ILLUMMINATION BEHIND HIM SCREAMS) and like lmao clearly CLEARLY the episode is just so good for how it ends but man, I was just struck by this moment again. 

I think it’s an incredibly honest moment - Nol is trying to avoid Shinae, trying to sever the tie, but at every opportunity she comes running after him. He’s admitted to her something also honest, which he acknowledges is a. possibly going overboard the rules of their friendship (she does not verbally agree that he was crossing the line) and b. makes him sound like an asshole. Telling Shinae to invite Kousuke to the party because he wants him to feel out of place does look kind of vindictive and dickish - but Shinae went through with it for the same reason he suggested it: she wanted him to feel out of place, a little bit of payback. 

But this moment is an admission of a truth: that no matter what, Nol struggles not to care. 

Like when she’s late on her second day of work. Like when Kousuke speaks ill of her. Like when she practically demands he stay for her break. Like when she thinks their whole friendship was a lie and meant nothing. 

Nol can’t make himself stop caring. 

And something else that I think is interesting about the composition is that when the characters aren’t facing each other, it makes me think that something is being avoided. In this case, I guess the vulnerability? It’s coming right off Shinae acknowledging that they both were acting like manipulative assholes, so she’s lost in those feelings. And after Nol states that it won’t stop him from caring, she looks over at him. 

The only scene I can think of immediately off the top of my head is in 152, when Dieter and Shinae are talking back to back, having a moment of vulnerability. When Dieter tells Shinae the reason she’s more affected is because she (like he) loves Yeonggi, they both have their backs to each other. 

Maybe I’m reading way more into this than necessary, but I wonder if there’s something about these admissions when turned from one and other, things easier said in the shadows, admissions of truth easier to face when not facing the other, that allows them to slip out so easily.

Because as soon as Nol tells her it won’t stop him from caring, he immediately mentions work and don’t you need to get along so you won’t be late? He makes an honest confession and then immediately tries to get rid of her and it just seems so poignant to me? I guess this kind of framing is something I should pay more attention to as I read - sometimes honesty is easier when not faced directly with each other, and it makes it easier to admit things you otherwise wouldn’t. (He’s also not looking at her when he admits his real reasons for wanting her to invite Kousuke to the party.) 

[thespoonisvictory]

My thoughts on the whole “Is c!wilbur an asshole” thing:

Yes. Also no. Also yes.

On the one hand, characterizing s1 Wilbur as casually cruel or mean is like- the furthest thing from the truth. Wilbur canonically was very well liked, and desperately wanted to be that way. With certain characters, he takes on a more presidential role, like Jack or Tubbo, while with someone like Niki, he’s a bit less formal, but even with Tommy, he’s never more than slightly dickish in the way all older brother figures are.

It feels especially weird to harshly critique early c!Wilbur for his treatment of Tommy because so much of early c!Wilbur was just cc!Wilbur’s dynamic with Tommy. Sometimes, there’s critique of Wilbur’s character that reads more like critique of cc!Wilbur for bullying Tommy, when it should be more than clear that if Tommy wasn’t ok with anything Wilbur said it would be dealt with behind scenes. Sometimes the criticism of Wilbur for being “mean” just comes across as the same criticism that cc!Wilbur gets, and it just comes across a bit silly

But even ignoring this and focusing strictly in canon, President Wilbur was nice, caring, etc etc. Like I’ve said, storywise he kind of has to be this way, so calling him an asshole in that sense is just, not canon? lmao.

However- that’s not to say he doesn’t have dick moments. Moments where he prefers Tommy to Fundy, babies Fundy, the tension between Tommy and Wilbur leading up to the elections, are all canon and all depicted him to be a flawed character. While we the audience know that he’s crumbling under the stress of a presidency he believes he’s failing at and his mental health is declining rapidly, that doesn’t excuse him taking it out on other people. Don’t sanitize his mental illness by acting like he was suffering in silence; he was, to an extent, but he also hurt the people around him.

Also, he’s just much less interesting if he’s entirely sanitized lmao. let’s talk about how his parenting is well intentioned but misguided, how the entire Elections process was born from his insecurity and his attempt to “rig it” even more so. He’s got layers! While his breakdown certainly triggers a lot of his worst traits, there’s flaws in his character that seem inherent from day one.

Naturally, this also extends to Pogtopia, where everything worsens tenfold. Wilbur is in what could be considered the worst conditions possible for his mental health for just- so many reasons. He’s isolated, pressured to lead, betrayed again, never able to relax, separated from his home, etc etc, essentially no one would be well in his place. This eventually leads to his suicide attempts and success, and never once should it be said that Wilbur having poor mental health was just him having poor character or not being strong enough. cc!Wilbur knew what he was doing when he put his character through personal hell: the situation in Pogtopia was designed to make him break, and it wasn’t some inherent evil that led him to his deterioration.

But again, this doesn’t excuse his cruelty towards the people who were there. That doesn’t excuse how he treated Tommy, in particular, or his actions regarding the Pit, or his possessiveness regarding L’manburg. Calling those “asshole” moves feels a bit... shallow? Like yes, it’s absolutely cruel behavior, but again “asshole” implies a casual air to them that I don’t think is present. They’re giant flaws in his character born from both his personality and his prolonged breakdown, but he’s not an asshole in the way c!Sapnap casually killing pets is an asshole.

If I had to guess, that’s what rubbed some c!Wilbur fans the wrong way. Not the implication that Wilbur was a flawed character, but that the phrasing of some people’s takes leaning more towards “Wilbur is a dick just for fun! He thinks being cruel is fun and sexy!” and less “Wilbur’s a dick because he’s got Flaws and Depression!” Then, the people who made that critique got defensive because it sounded like the Wilbur fans were rejecting the idea of him being flawed at all. Anyway communication is key.

[ironmandeficiency]

accidents happen

pairing: kix / mechanic!reader (afab here)

word count: 2163

summary: accidents happen even to the most careful people.

a/n: can be read as part of the kix/mechanic!reader universe i accidentally made (here, here, and here). made some tweaks to the og req but stuck to the general theme. sprinkled in a few of my oc boys for ✨flair✨

warnings: speeder crash, prego!reader

you don’t remember much of the speeder crash. it was a blur of lights, a cacophony of twisting metal and the screams of passersby as they worry about the wellbeing of those involved. that is, until your head slammed too hard against the controls and knocked you out cold.

the sensations of latex icicles checking your pulse roused you from your unconscious state. your eyes struggled against the bright lights of what you knew was the five-oh-first medbay, the foggy yet familiar voices of frantic clones being a dead giveaway. they were worried about many things—your condition after the wreck, whether you would be able to return to field work with them once you recovered, kix’s reaction once he catches wind of what happened...

kix hadn’t kept his cool when your arm was slightly crushed by general skywalker’s delta-7 aethersprite, how was he going to handle his cyare being in a speeder crash?

answer’s simple: he wouldn’t.

kix had just left the operating room when he heard the commotion of a new patient being brought in. jogging to the cot where they lifted the patient, he pushed his way through the unusually tight crowd of vode until he got to the foot of the bed. “alright boys, what do we got?”

“speeder crash just outside of 500 republica, two broken ribs, a—oh we got it taken care of kix, go get some rest-”

“you just left surgery, take a break!”

“this’ll be easy peasy, we got it!”

the voices of his brothers were agitated as the crowd was damn near trying to push him away. with a few well-placed nudges and shoulder bumps, kix realized that they indeed were trying to push him away. this just made him all the more intent on figuring out why they were trying to boot him out. he was a medic for kriff’s sake, bronco had no business trying to shove him out of the way like that!

“easy peasy my shebs, bronco! i…”

it was you.

you were lying unconscious on the bed in front of him, surrounded by brothers on all sides as the other medics, clone and civvie alike, were taking care of you. there was an oozing, bloody gash along your temple and a growing knot that was already grossly discolored.

it was instinct for kix to want to take point on this. it was you, he didn’t want anything to go wrong. and if something did go wrong, he wouldn’t want to have the scapegoat of blaming a vod for anything. it had to be on him, he had to be the one to take care of you.

the protests of several vode immediately follow kix’s insistence, multiple hands starting to pull him from your bedside. he begins to struggle against them and they immediately start to grip him tighter as they guide him towards the exit.

“you can’t do this! i need to-mmph! be here! let me go!”

“you know why we can’t do that, vod.”

“bantha karking shit you can’t! i need to be there, you don’t understand!”

arguments continued and tension mounted in the medbay, kix still fighting to get to you while the others were either treating you or holding him back. all other conscious thought ceased to be, the gut instinct of taking care of you being his only purpose.

then a firm voice booms through the chaos with enough force to wake the dead as he calls the medic’s name.

“leave, kix. that’s an order.”

rex’s heart was being smashed by his own boot as he spoke. he hated having to be the one giving the ultimatum to the frightened medic in front of him, but as captain, the burden fell onto him. kix was clearly not able to separate you from what needs to be done for the patient and he was not going to allow that kind of responsibility on his vod’s shoulders.

not if he was going to be able to sleep tonight.

rex’s eyes betrayed how much it hurt him, but the bristling of his words showed no such emotion. he couldn’t show any of this inner conflict, not as a captain and especially not as ori’vod to nearly every man surrounding your bed. but the men know that their captain isn’t heartless, that he views you as one of the best things to happen to the five-oh-first, that he has a reason for everything he does.

it takes a hell of a lot more convincing (read: sedative) to get kix to back down. rex and fives carried the medic to the barracks, taking care to lay him down gently. the proximity to the younger trooper told rex that a sedated kix was having more of an effect on him than he let on.

even though fives had other duties to take care of while on leave, rex knew that a distracted fives would not be able to complete any of them to his regular standards. so, like a good captain and ori’vod, he excused the younger brother from his tasks.

“you can stay with him,” rex could read the arc trooper like a datapad; fives was tense and afraid, two feelings that only his closest brothers would recognize on him. “he’ll probably feel better if someone’s here when he wakes up.”

“but rex—“

“i know you stayed with him the last time his cyare was injured, fives. he would be grateful to have someone with him during this.” fives nodded his thanks grimly, taking his perch at kix’s bedside.

rex returned to the medbay with haste, hoping against hope that your injuries were mild. his return to the medbay was met with you awake, recounting the story of how you were rammed by a rogue speeder that ran their traffic light.

“we’re just glad you’re okay, gotabor.”

“yeah, no speeder can keep you down.”

a wave of peace rushes over the tired captain and he takes his leave. you were okay, kix would be okay, the five-oh-first would be okay.

queen and starchild continued to praise your resilience (“the toughest mechanic in the gar” is what you’ve been dubbed) before they’re cut off briskly by morticus, whose face was sporting a strangely lighter expression, like some of the burdens he carried were lightened for a moment.

“but we also have some news, gotabor. some that you really should be told in private.”

your first instinct is to tell morticus that you trust these men with your life, that anything he had to say could be said in front of them. but something in his eyes told you that pushing the matter wouldn’t end well. “i’ll be here when you get back, boys,” you give the remaining troopers soft smiles and a gentle squeeze of their hands, reassuring them that you were okay now, that in the hands of the five-oh-first you were the safest you’ve ever been.

they took a reluctant leave, looking over their shoulders one last time as they left the medbay. it wasn’t that they didn’t trust morticus, no not that at all, it just seemed that you had a penchant for getting injured and when brothers were repeatedly injured in increasingly severe ways, they didn’t always stay around much longer.

morticus is quick to say what he needs to, privacy being a very rare luxury in a five-oh-first medbay whether on leave or otherwise. “now that we have some privacy, gotabor, i have some news.” again, there was this happier lilt to his voice that he just didn’t have. morticus was stoic, cynical, even a bit dickish on the right day. to see him smile and sound happy about something was abnormal but pleasant all the same.

“is everything alright?”

“more than alright—you’re expecting.”

your face warped in your confusion, eyebrows crinkled and lips slightly pursed. “expecting what, morti?”

this man laughed—genuinely laughed—at your reply and if you weren’t so distracted by your perplexion, you would have said something about how nice his laugh is.

“a child, gotabor’ika. you’re pregnant.”

a sly grin made an appearance, morticus’s voice slightly teasing. the air was lighter around him than it has been in a long time and he was going to enjoy it with everything he’s got. “i’m going to assume that the baby belongs to kix—“

“of course it’s his, di’kut! but we had been so careful, always using protection! i don’t know how this happened…” racking your brain, you tried to remember a time when the two of you were a little less than careful but came up empty. “we weren’t trying for this, morti. it just happened, it was an accident.”

he patted your thigh with a smile. “sometimes accidents happen to even the most careful people. just take this as a win and keep going.” something to your far left beeped—another brother’s machine—and morticus quickly reverted back to tense medic mode, scrutinizing the readings before taking notes in their datapad and returning to your side.

“you got this, gotabor. you’re made of the stronger stuff.” he flurries around you, making sure you’re as comfortable as possible before telling you to rest and that kix will be with you soon. it didn’t take a seasoned member of the resolute to know that kix was so devoted and bent on protecting you however possible, and you knew that he was probably sedated yet again. he would be here when he’s up, you know he will. you just hoped that he liked what he was waking up to.

rex made sure to stop by kix’s bunk to tell fives that you were conscious and by all accounts, appeared to only be mildly banged up. the way the tension fell from his vodika’s shoulders comforted rex, glad that he could give the arc good news to depart onto the unconscious medic before them, the smile on his face genuine as he departed from the barracks.

it wasn’t very long after rex left that kix began to stir. as predicted by fives and the rest of those aware of the situation, his first waking thoughts and concerns were for you. the arc was quick to console his vod and encouraged him to go to the medbay to see you as if kix could have been stopped. fives had to bargain (and trade some of his favorite candies from his stash) to convince kix to let him walk to the medbay with him, the medic still on shaky legs after being sedated.

everyone with a lick of sense knew to steer clear of kix until he was able to see you again. they made a path for him and fives without hesitation, knowing that all hell would be let loose if any of them tried to stop their advancing to the medbay.

“special delivery for gotabor’ika!” fives shouts as he enters, promptly getting shushed by coric and morticus.

you laugh from your cot when you hear your second favorite trooper before you see him. “over here, fives!” he follows your voice and soon, kix is being deposited on the foot of your bed with a smile.

fives grins and pokes his cheek, signaling for a small peck in return for his services. “now if you’ll just sign here-ow!” honestly he should expect the light slap you deliver to his face instead. “you got him from here, gotabor. get better soon, i don’t trust those kriffing ships without ya!” he leaves with a smile and a wave, comforted to see that you’re truly okay.

kix still hasn’t laid down with you and you’re slightly worried. by now, he’d be wrapped all over you like a tooka to lothnip. you nudge him with your foot to get his attention and when he finally meets your gaze, his eyes are wet. it looks like he’s trying his best to not cry but it’s soon to be a losing battle.

“kix, baby what’s-“

“you’re pregnant.”

the datapad with the reports of your injuries and conditions is cradled in his palms. bloodwork has never lied to him before but every nerve is on edge, like this would all be pulled out from under him the moment he let himself indulge in the what-if’s.

you weren’t sure how he would react to the news and he isn’t exactly giving you any hints as to how he feels about this which slightly worries you; kix has never been one too shy away from telling you his thoughts and the fact he’s doing it now has your stomach in a knot. “honey, what-“

your question can’t even leave your lips before the datapad is tossed on the bed and he’s wrapping his arms around you, face buried into your shoulder and failing to hold back the tears. at least he doesn’t seem to be angry, that’s a plus. “i love you so much, ner gotabor,” he raises his head to meet your eyes, one hand resting on your stomach with a teary smile. “i love both of you.”

kix taglist: @blue-space-porgs @leias-left-hair-bun @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @olluea @catsnkooks @simping-for-fives @captainrexstan @mackstrut @battletales @stardustsunrisekisses @darthadeline @artemis61003 @majorshiraharu @getdookuedon @capricornrabies @jedi-mando @whovianwar @hornystarwarsbisexual @bo-kryze

[nyxerebus]

Boring Bar - Modern Levi x Female Reader

“Why are we here again?” The raven-haired man asked his friend. “You need to get out more Levi, So this is me dragging you out” Erwin smiled back. Levi just scoffed at him and looked around the bar.

Filthy.

“Hange and some others are coming soon”.

Huh!? “Shitty glasses and her shitty friends are also coming?” Erwin chuckled and nodded. Levi’s mood became even more shittier. If that was possible. They both drank in silenced for a while. Both ordering the same glass of whisky, Erwin on the rocks, Levi with a twist. The music was typical bar music, boring. Some people were dancing over at the dancefloor. Half the booths were filled, but Erwin and Levi were the only two sitting at the bar. “So, how have you been?” Erwin asked. He knew the answer. Not good. Levi and Petra had broken up a month ago, and he was still hung up on it. The breakup was really messy. Levi had caught her cheating on him with her co-worker. The biggest cliché in the world. “You know”, Erwin expected something more, but that was the only thing he got from Levi. “Okay, talking about it clearly isn’t something you want, but do you know what you need?” Levi raised his eyebrows at the blond. “A rebound!”

“A rebound?” Levi repeated. “You need a quick one night stand to get over her and move on, it will clear up your head. I promise” Levi looked at the man with a questionable look, but didn’t push further. They both fell into a silence, Levi still processing his words - was a rebound all he needed?

The glorious silence between the long-time friends was cut short when the bell at the door rang. “Leviiii! Erwinnnn!” Hange’s voice boomed over the bar. Her and Mike and Nanaba walked over to them and hugged Erwin, (Hange tried to give Levi a hug, but ended up with a elbow in the ribs).

A comfortable conversation fell between the four adults. Even though Levi gave them a hard time for dragging him out, he loved just sitting on the side-line and listening to the conversations. It was comforting. “Oh! I forgot to tell you guys” Hange exclaimed. “What’s up four eyes”.

“An old friend of mine is coming over and staying with me the next week! She’s going to meet us here, you guys fine with her hanging out with us?”.

“Of course! Where do you know her from?” Nanaba asked.

“We were dorm roommates back in my collage days!”. Hange smiled. “She is really nice, so you better treat her nice!” She threatened, even though she wasn’t that threatening.

The bell over the door rang again. “She’s here!” Hange waved over a (your height) woman. Hange hugged her and lifted the poor girl up from the ground, her legs kicking in the air. “So good to see you again!” Hange squealed and danced around, still holding the girl up. “Hange, let the poor girl down” Nanaba looked a bit concerned by her mad scientist friends action. Hange, reluctant, let the girl down and introduced her to her friends.

“This is (Y/N) (L/N)! My long-time friend form collage!” The group greeted her and Erwin moved over a bar stool she could sit on, moved it next to Levi. He sent the raven man a smug look. Damn eyebrow freak.

“So, (Y/N), what did you study?” They asked her many questions about her life. They learned that she studied History, (was still studying, but balancing school with working in a flower shop with her brother), she had two cats and her favourite book was Pride and Prejudice. Hange was clearly proud of her friend and showed her of to no extent. Levi noticed the girl, (Y/N) was looking very nervous and would often blush and wiggle in her seat when Hange went on about her life.

Cute.

What was he thinking? He couldn’t develop a thing for Hange’s friend, she was clearly very protective of her and would no doubt rip his dick of if he tried to get with (Y/N). “So, (Y/N), got a boyfriend” This time it was Nanaba that asked. This made Levi perk up, for some reason the idea that she had a boyfriend made his chest tighten.

What was wrong with him? He felt more jealous at the possibility that a woman he had just met had a boyfriend, than when he caught his girlfriend of 9 months in bed with another man.

“No, its just me and my cats at the moment” She rubbed the back of her neck. Levi realised a breath of relief, no one noticed. Well, no one except Erwin, who grinned into his drink.

The conversation drifted away from (Y/N) life to more mundane things. Work, family and what not. To be honest, Levi was only paying attention if (Y/N) was speaking. But sadly, the evening turned into the night. And everyone was suddenly reminded that they had work tomorrow.

“It was great meeting you all! Hope we can meet another time!” (Y/N) smiled at them. “Of course! Maybe for lunch?” Nanaba questioned. They agreed to meet for lunch one day, and split up. But luckily for Levi, he and Hange lived on the same street. So the three of them walked together to the building the two ladies lived at. Hange wouldn’t stop talking about her latest experiments.

Levi tried a few times to ask (Y/N) some questions, but they either came out as insults or as interrupted by Hange. Usually he was smooth with woman, never having to struggle cause most flocked towards him. But when he had to impress her, he became suddenly shy and nervous.

Snap out of it Ackerman! But before he could snap out of it, the stood outside Hanges apartment. “Looks like were parting ways here Clean freak! See ya tomorrow!” And with that they disappeared behind the entrenced to the building. Levi stood on the street for a couple of minutes, thinking over the night. He cursed at himself for not growing a pair and asking her out. He went to bed angry with himself.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The next week past with everyday just the same like the last. Levi would meet you and Hange at 8 am and walk to your respective jobs. Everyone would meet for lunch (sometimes Erwin, Nanaba and Mike couldn’t make it, but Levi would always make it). And everyday, Levi became more and more enchanted with (Y/N).

“I don’t know what to do!” Levi groaned and threw his head back against the coach back. He and Erwin and Mike was chilling at Levi’s apartment. “Sounds like love to me” Erwin replied with his cheeky grinned. Oh, how Levi wanted to smack the grin of off his face.

“How? I have only known her for one week!”

“Love at first sight” Mike spoke up. “That doesn’t exist asshole” Levi grumbled out, chugging back his drink. “I don’t know man, Mike might be on to something”.

“Fuckers”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Levi was driving home when he saw it. ‘Mushrooms and Flowers’, the flower shop (Y/N) worked at. His body reacted before his mind could stop it. And before he knew it his car was parked in front of it and he was halfway between his car and the shop.

A bell rang when he entered the small shop. It was cozy, fairy lights hanging from the celling and the walls were covered in flowers, and by the counter there was a mushrooms display. “Levi!” A familiar voice called from him. “So good to see you” She walked over to him. “How can I help you?”

He was silent. The cold, stoic, gives zero shits Levi Ackerman, was fucking silent.

The hells wrong with you?! Speak!

“I need some flowers” Yeah, idiot why else would you be here?! “You came to the right place! What is the occasion?”

Oh god? Was he going to get flowers for a girlfriend? Of course, he had a girl, a man that gorgeous always have an equally beautiful woman by his side. You cannot compete!

(Y/N) was equally nervous as Levi. The same pang of jealousy raced through her at the thought of him with another woman. “A girl” was all Levi muttered out. Sadness filled (Y/N), but she bit her tears back. Not wanting him to know about her feelings for him. The same feelings that had kept her up at night and made her heart race in a way it never had.

“Well, we have some beautiful roses in many colours! What’s her favourite” (Y/N) tried not to sound disgusted by the mentioned of another woman.

Levi thought back to when (Y/N) mentioned what her favourite colour was. “Orange”.

Good taste, (Y/N) thought. “Well, these are my favourite. They have a nice deep orange colour and gets pretty red at the tips of the flower leaves”. (Y/N) pointed at the flower in the rose’s aisle. Levi agreed that it was beautiful and didn’t hesitate to say: “I’ll take it”.

His apartment smelled of roses. On his kitchen island, four rose bouquets of the orange flowers sat. He had gotten all they had in the store. He was opening a new bottle of whiskey. Not knowing what to do. The glass he filled was quickly swallowed and he filled another.

“I blew it!” He shouldn’t have said it was for a girl. What if she thought it was serious and stopped talking to him? What if she found out that he lied about having a girl and though he was a creep?

A million bad thoughts raced through his head, until he finally decided. He was going to do something about it. Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was the alcohol. But a new wave of courage waved through him and he grabbed the flowers and his keys. He knew Hange had a meeting at work, so (Y/N) was home alone.

The walk over was quick. But not quick enough. When he reached the apartment door, the courage washed of and he realized what was going to happened. He was going to confess and she was going to reject him. Why would she not? She has probably heard about his insults and how cold he is from Hange. Why would someone as cheerful as her want someone as dickish like him?

No, he couldn’t do it. He left the building.

(Y/N) heard someone moving around outside the door. She looked out the peep hole and saw no one, but something on the ground caught her eye. The flowers Levi had bought from her. All four bouquets. Wasn’t these flowers for a girl? After a minute of looking at the flowers with pure confusion, it clicked.

She was the girl.

Without thinking she ran after him. Only in her sleeping shorts and tank top, and her slippers, she ran down the stairs and out to the street. After looking around, she caught him walking away.

“Levi!”

He turned around and was met with her body colliding into him. She was out of breath after running down all the stairs after him. “The hell you doing out here brat!”

He looked down at her hands and saw the flowers. He rubbed his hand down his face and sighed deeply. Here comes the rejection.

“Was I the girl?” He looked down at her. Risking it all, he nodded. “Yeah, yeah you are”. Time stood still. The people around them didn’t matter, the rain that was starting to pour down didn’t matter, only them. He looked in her eyes, looking for an answer, but when she pulled him down too meet his lips, he got it. Even though it took a moment for him to realize this was actually happening, when he snapped out of it he kissed her back.

It was like something out of a movie. The rain was pouring down. He was bending her back down a bit and leaning down with her. One hand was behind her back, stabilizing her and the other was on her jaw, holding her close. Her hands were wrapped around his neck. He broke the kiss when he felt her shivering against him. Suddenly he was reminded that they were out on a busy street, it was almost midnight, and she wasn’t wearing clothes fit for the rain, or just being outside in the cold.

“Let’s go inside, yeah?” She nodded her hand. As they walked back to her apartment hand in hand, Levi thanked the gods that Erwin had dragged him out to that boring bar.

A/N: Hope you like it! I'm not too happy with the ending, its a bit rushed but i am writing this at 2 am, sooo hehe. Might write a part 2! Take care :)

[squishytenya]

𝕄𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕐𝕠𝕦 ℂ𝕣𝕪

‘I actually wrote this for a headcanon request but it was too close to an actual scenario so now we just have...a bullet pointed scenario? i guess. Enjoy!’

↬ Parings: Iida x reader

↬ Reader: Gender Neutral

↬ Warnings: relationship insecurity, Iida says something dickish but makes up for it, arguments, crying

‘I swear you don’t even act like you know me sometimes, let alone that we’re dating’

You were currently having an argument with your boyfriend, Iida in the middle of your bedroom

He was shy and you knew this but he never treated you affectionately in public

Most of his verbal and physical affection went to his friends and this upset you

Obviously you had been lenient with Iida but you hadn’t had a very good day 

When you tried to lean him for comfort he had pushed you off and told you very loudly in front of all of your friends that

‘y/n this is not appropriate behaviour’

Not only did this upset your further, it had embarrassed you seeing the sorry faces of your friends glancing at you as you sat in silence next to your boyfriend

Soon after you had gotten up and walked out of the room, Iida following close behind

Which led you to the current situation

Sat on your bed with a teddy, the one Tenya had won you at a fair on your first date, being squeezed in your arms in an effort to prevent your tears escaping

Said man was pacing around the room, very obviously angry 

‘It isn’t appropriate for public y/n’

You knew he enjoyed your affection as he asked for it a lot when it was just you but you also knew your friends wouldn’t mind 

‘You don’t even acknowledge my existence Tenya, it’s like you don’t even want me around!’

You yelled at him, now standing up

‘What is it huh Tenya? Do you regret asking me out? Is that it?’

He spun on his foot and stormed up to your face 

‘Right now? Yes I’m regretting that decision!’

It was so quiet you could almost hear the sound of your heart snapping in two

Hot, salty tears had already began to trickle down your face by the time Iida had even began to notice it crumpling 

He knew that it was one of your biggest insecurities, that one day Iida would regret confessing to you and leave

‘Wait, y/n I didn’t mean that’

You sat back down on the bed, crushing the bear in your grip as your sobs echoed throughout the room

‘Why would you say that Tenya? You know how i f-feel about that, saying that was horrible’

You couldn’t see through your tears but you felt his strong arms encase your sobbing body

He sat on the bed next to you and pulled you into his embrace

‘Y/n I apologise. I love you so much i didn’t realise i was making you feel like I didn’t.’

Your sobs died down a little once he began to rock you, whispering his apologies into the top of your head

‘You mean the world to me, my love, I could never regret confessing to you. You’re the best decision I ever made’

Cerulean eyes met yours, sincerity and regret swirling in them

‘Promise me you didn’t mean it’

You held out your pinky to him, knowing he usually wouldn’t partake in childish things like this

But, to your surprise, he hooked his large pinky around yours 

‘I promise’

He kissed your hand as tears welled up in your eyes once again

‘You mean the world to me, my love, I wouldn't trade you for anything’

You were now laying in the bed, your face tucked into his neck and his arm wrapped around yours

Every little sniffle you let out shattered Tenya’s heart a little bit more

From then on he decided to better himself and show you the love you deserved

No more shame, you were his and it didn’t matter if everyone knew

He tilted your head up and gave you a long, sweet kiss

‘I adore you y/n, I’m sorry I made you feel otherwise’

well this hurt my heart

Remember, reblogs help content creators!

[dadsbongos]

I see you are seeking Shinsou asks :3

Can I get some angst with fluff at the end? Like really hurt me... but then kiss my boo boo after kinda shit.

😗😗😗

sorry if the angst is lackluster :( i just got very into the idea of shinso hating a todo girl

Request for: Hitoshi Shinso Warnings: mentions of child abuse(?) it’s endeavor being awful but it isn’t vivid physical abuse, female pronouns are used ~~~

Shoto sighed quietly, peeking over the heads he could at the gala, “I thought Midoriya would be here.”

“It’s family strictly, Sho, Deku wouldn’t be allowed in,” (Y/n) murmured, swirling her beverage - nonalcoholic on strict order - of the night within her flute, “He’s not All Might’s son.”

“Nephew then.”

“No, Sho,” (Y/n) sighed, shaking her head, staring down at her drink glumly, “It’s so boring since Fuyumi and Nat stopped coming.”

“And Touya- “

“How’s the hero course going?” she interrupted, still not looking up from her glass, “Dad talks about you and those two boys a lot. A lot, a lot.”

Enji never spoke of anything else, especially when his daughter - his weak daughter in the general education department of U.A - was listening.

“It’s fine,” the heterochromatic boy shrugged, “What about general studies? Any hard projects coming up?”

“Nothing like having to go out with proheroes and stop a mega-villain, no,” (Y/n) swallowed down the lump in her throat, “I am tutoring a few kids though. Nothing major, but my teacher said I was doing a good job.”

“Sounds fun,” Shoto awkwardly bit.

It was bad enough you didn’t know how to talk to your twin sister let alone when you two had none of the same interests.

“Thanks.”

“For?”

“Sticking by me…” she gestured vaguely around the room, to all the heroes, to all the fancy tables, “During these parties. You don’t have to, and now that you actually know some of these people you have even less reason to.”

To be honest, he’d never thought of leaving (y/n) at their father’s parties. It simply never occurred to him to leave her standing at one of the walls by herself.

“Sure.”

Silence festered between the twins once again, neither part particularly sure of how to carry a dead conversation.

The doors opened, oddly quiet - as if the person behind them was intentionally trying to be silent. In walked class 1-A’s teacher, famous for nothing and even more infamous for hating the spotlight, which included the number one hero’s lavish ‘gatherings’.

Behind him was a boy with heavy eye bags and wild hair, recognizable as the one who almost took out Midoriya, Izuku, from the sports festival.

“He’s trying to get into the hero course,” Shoto nudged his sister, “You two share a class, correct?”

“Yeah, Shinso. He’s…” she pursed her lips, “okay.”

“Okay? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just a little standoffish,” (y/n) continued, refraining from adding on ‘kinda like you’, “Can’t really get to know him.”

Hitoshi caught eyes with his classmate, brows furrowing at her presence. As if he didn’t know who her father was.

But he did.

And to be quite frank, that was the entire problem.

His fists clenched, eyes narrowing, disdain thrumming through his veins. 

Hitoshi hated her, he was sure of it. He hated her power. Her wealth. Her Quirk. Her family. Her name.

She had everything at her fingertips and used none of it.

“He’s staring at you.”

“He does that a lot.”

“Want me to make him stop?”

“Fight your teacher’s son? Yeah, smart.”

“I never said I’d fight him,” Shoto shook his head, frowning at his sister.

“Shinso’s someone who makes it hard to not fight him.”

“Unlucky.”

“Yeah.”

Another beat of silence rang between the siblings, both willing themselves to ignore the heated glare beating off of Hitoshi at (y/n).

“I- “ Shoto paused, hesitance burning at his tongue, “I have something to discuss with Aizawa.”

Nodding slightly, (y/n) watched as her brother left for his teacher. Her eyes drifted once Shoto was no longer in sight, flitting to the large man of the hour. Her father.

Enji had a thing for bragging. It was why he was a hero. It was why he bought a large house. It was why he threw large parties. It was why he had a powerful son. It was what he wished for his youngest daughter. He must’ve known, somehow, that (y/n) didn’t have a plan for high school let alone the rest of her life.

It must be why he taunts her with Shoto’s accomplishments. With Shoto’s greatness.

“Your father’s the number one hero and you’re in the general studies class,” a new presence sidled up to (y/n). Hitoshi gently pressed the back of his head to the wall, “Is that not embarrassing?”

“I just like general studies more than I’d like the hero course,” (y/n) muttered, taking a sip of her drink, “I don’t want to be a hero.”

“It’s so easy for you to say, isn’t it?” he hissed, shaking his head, “You have your father’s power, a great Quirk, money - and you just get to decide whether you want to be a hero or not.”

“Everyone does, Shinso. You’re leaving the class, you chose to be a hero. It’s not that deep.”

It was.

“I didn’t get to choose my class. I have to work my ass off just for a chance to be where I want, you got put in there,” Hitoshi grit his teeth.

“Well I’m sorry, but it’s not my fault,” (y/n) huffed, “You’re the one picking a fight, I’m just trying to suffer through a party.”

“Suffer, this party is literally being thrown by the number one hero - your dad - who’s incredibly rich- “

“You don’t know anything about my dad,” (y/n) snapped, turning her head to finally look Hitoshi in the eyes, “You don’t know me. You don’t know my brother. You don’t know my dad. I’m not looking to spill my guts but hey, maybe shut the fuck up before you assume someone’s childhood is peachy because their dad’s rich.”

Hitoshi shook his head, “Just saying. You’re the daughter of Endeavor and willingly put yourself in a bullshit class.”

“Fuck off.”

“Gladly.”

~~

It wasn’t two days later when Shinso, Hitoshi, said, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Hitoshi rolled his eyes, shaking his head, “That shit I said at the party. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, why?” (Y/n) quirked a brow, “You seemed pretty confident then.”

Denki hissed through his teeth, “Yeah… Endeavor’s an ass. Apparently, he was like… uber harsh during training with Todoroki. I didn’t get the whole story but turns out he’s got major anger issues. I wouldn’t be surprised if he… you know. Was abusive. It’s awful, I wish I was closer with Todoroki so I could talk to him about it. He looks like he needs some support. I hope his sister’s okay too. Couldn’t have been easy in that house, ya know?”

“Just thought it over,” Hitoshi shrugged, hands jammed in his uniform pants’ pockets, “Was pretty dickish of me to say.”

“Yeah,” (Y/n) nodded before releasing a heavy sigh, “Well, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Enji glared down at the young girl, “The general studies course? You think you’ll accomplish anything there? Look at your brother, Shoto!” he twisted a hand in her hair, forcefully turning her head to look at her twin, “He’ll be a better hero than you could ever be, don’t you have aspirations? Don’t you want to do something good?”

She’d heard worse anyway.

Hitoshi bit his lip nervously, looking at his shoes before tossing his pride to the side, “Want to meet up sometime? For studying. This exam’s gonna kick my ass and you have high marks.”

“Sure,” (Y/n) smiled slightly, she knows she should’ve held the grudge longer - but it was hard to hold something against Hitoshi when he never knew her, “There’s a cafe nearby, I can show you the way?”

“That sounds good.”

“Good.”

“Sorry, again.”

“Seriously, Shinso,” (Y/n) shook her head, “You’re fine.”

Hitoshi hesitantly nodded, giving the girl a soft smile in return, “If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

[doberbutts]

On Consent and Autonomy

Having a discussion with a friend about this sort of thing reminded me that I never typed anything up with Tiki’s journeys through this outside of adding onto various posts already talking about how little dogs like chihuahuas don’t get to have boundaries a lot of the time, and how a lot of the shitty aggressive little dogs are simply dogs who were never allowed to express a boundary without drawing blood.

One of the most important things to me with my animals is, and always has been, consent. I use it with my exotics, I use it with my domestics. There are things that my animals must allow me to do- nail trims, baths, teeth brushing, etc- but for the things that are required I do a lot of no-nonsense desensitization and a lot of fearfree veterinary methods to allow the animal to see that while these things are non-negotiable, they’re also not that bad and don’t have to be the worst thing ever.

But for everything else, there’s always consent involved.

I’ve spoken before about how there’s the issue of autonomy and consent especially with little dogs, who have their buttons pushed and their boundaries ignored simply because of their size, because it’s not like if you harass a doberman into biting you, because an angry chihuahua can do the same damage an angry doberman can. How little dogs especially are favored for the “living toy” and “fashion accessory” factor above all else, and how many of them are so undersocialized and underexercised that they don’t even seem to grasp that they can walk from place to place by themselves and just expect to be carried everywhere by default. How many actually don’t like that and dislike the idea of the looming behavior us freakishly tall humans tend to exhibit while interacting.

One way I managed that entire problem with Tiki was simply asking for consent to pick her up or put her down. She first learned that she could actually move from place to place on her own, and then she learned that she could accept or reject the offer to be held, and then she learned that she could ask to be held or put down. Simply by giving her a cue for both up and down, and allowing her to navigate that while earning her trust that I wouldn’t suddenly change the rules. Even to her last day, she understood the difference between her previous life of being scooped up without warning or consent, and the life I had built for her to accept my offered choice of being held tight to me.

When the vet brought her to me one last time, she was squirming in the vet’s hands to get down. When I offered her the chance to be held, she leapt into my arms and cuddled close. She was delirious with fever and couldn’t hold her own head up, but she still recognized the offer of comfort, and she chose to have her final moments held tight to my chest.

But- that’s not the only consent-based training I practiced with her, or with the various dogs at my job who struggle with the same thing.

In our training videos, you could see me tossing a treat a short distance away to encourage her to leave me. Training can put a lot of pressure on a dog, especially a dog that may be sensitive or struggle with confidence, and the tossed treat provides a “break” from expectations as it allows them to disconnect and disengage, giving them a chance to destress by sniffing, shaking, or running around a bit before returning to you. My general rule of thumb is that if I toss the treat and the dog does not immediately return for more training, they are asking for space or even for a longer break. This is a bit different if the dog is simply distracted by its surroundings- for those, I will encourage them to come back by calling them. But more and more I have found that these sensitive dogs actually develop more and more tolerance to that pressure, because they are allowed to back off when they feel overwhelmed, and rejoin you when they feel more confident. Of course, it is key to keep your training lighthearted and fun regardless, but especially so with these sensitive dogs that need a little extra boost. No one likes learning that feels like a chore.

Another thing I do is during playtime. If I begin to suspect someone is getting too aroused or overwhelmed, I remove the aggressor from the situation and bring them a few feet away. If the recipient does not want to continue the interaction or needs space, they typically will walk away. If instead they come bounding over to harass the aggressor to rejoin play, then the game was fun and everyone was having a good time. If I have removed someone too late for a peaceable interaction (ie: I stepped in as aggressive corrections began happening), then both are taken aside to calm down before being re-released to opposite ends of the play area and they are monitored closely to ensure their next meeting and interaction does not result in a grudge match. I frequently use a three-strikes method with this- you get three chances to not be a giant dick before playtime is over. After that point, you may watch (if you are quiet), but you are outside of the play area and on leash. Very rarely do I need to employ that method more than once before the dog in question connects that dickish behavior = no more fun, and it keeps everyone else safe in the mean time. More often I have dogs that learn how to play appropriately, respond to social cues and minor corrections well, and to alter their play to suit a variety of partners and groups.

I also do this with human-to-dog playtime! Tiki loved biting and wrestling hands, and once again especially with a smaller or more sensitive or less confident dog, it’s easy to accidentally overwhelm or scare or hurt your dog without realizing it. To prevent this, I do push the dog away during a wrestle match. If the dog bounces away from me, or continues to bounce but holds a position just out of reach, then generally that is a cue that they were becoming overwhelmed and need a moment to recover. If the dog immediately pounces on my hands again, then once again the game was fun and everyone was enjoying themselves.

Dogs cannot speak English or any other human language. That’s not to say they don’t understand us, but their ability to say these words are so limited that outside of a handful of studies we truly haven’t seen too many instances of dogs communicating with words we humans can understand. That does not at all mean they cannot consent. I frequently ask the dogs “do you want ___” or similar. While yes, most of the things I ask them are things I’ve built up very positive associations with- a walk, a cookie, their dinner, to go play- the fact remains that all of the dogs in the house are used to hearing us ask if they desire something. Before I give Creed a cookie, I ask if he wants it. Before I take him to potty, I ask if that’s what he needs. Before I offer him something to sniff, I ask if he wants to. There are, in fact, times where I give him something and he spits it out. I ask him, “do you want ___” and sometimes he really does walk away. No, he didn’t want that right now.

It can sound silly, asking dogs what they want, asking for consent, things like that. But it’s also not as difficult of a concept as one might think! Having seen so many dogs aided by these methods and more, I can’t imagine going back to force a dog to do something (non-essential) it genuinely didn’t want to do. What exactly is the harm in allowing your little dog to say no sometimes to being picked up? What exactly is the harm in allowing your sensitive dog to say it needs a break from training? What exactly is the harm in allowing your dog to say it needs a moment to calm down while playing? The harm in not allowing these things is the very real prospect of getting bitten. Allowing them? Don’t really see any negative side-effects.