ironmandeficiency

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happy late valentines day! here's some of these dumb bitches as a gift <3

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Official banners for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

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elf liberalism probably goes insane

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Spin this wheel to get assigned a husband from the Pedro Pascal Cinematic Universe.

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rb to give your mutuals a silly little paper valentine card and a red heart shaped lollipop 💖

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“A house doesn’t become a home until love moves in.”

— Faraaz Kazi

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i think i’ve been reading too much ao3 the past 24 hours… i went from never seeing this message once in my life to getting it TWICE in the same hour

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plants aren’t measured in time (sneak peek)

pairing: fíli / modern!reader

word count: 354

summary: you should have expected that explaining vines to a dwarf would be difficult whether said vines contained chloroplast or dropped croissants

a/n: another modern reader in middle earth fic bc i’m ridiculous & this seems to be what the people want lol. ‘afdehar is the dwarven month equivalent of mid-october to mid-november, the direct translation being “anvil moon” (dwarrow scholar).

“so after you announce the day, you just scream afterwards?”

“in the weirdest way possible, yes.”

“perfect! hold my tankard and watch this.”

a cheshire grin was cleverly hidden behind the tankard kíli handed to you. you were beyond ready to watch nearly every dwarrow and elf in the dining hall contemplate whether it would be classified as treason to (somewhat violently) shut the young prince up before he began doing… whatever it was he was about to do.

prince kíli, in all his youthful stupidity, leapt atop the closest table with a flourish where the mirkwood envoy was attempting to enjoy their dinner. key word, attempt.

he cleared his throat obnoxiously, as if the clattering of his kicking aside dishes and centerpieces didn’t call enough attention to himself. nearly every set of eyes in the room were on him as he cupped his hands around his mouth. the glimmer of mischief in his eyes was all too familiar to many in the room and promised nothing sort of chaos to follow in its wake.

“it is ‘afdehar, my dudes!”

a deep breath, then a wail erupted from his throat that most would compare to a feral cat in heat or a dying boar, depending on who you listened to. not even ori could spell out the letters to convey just how gibberish it sounded which served to make you laugh all the more.

from his seat next to uncle at the head of the royals’ table, fíli found himself focusing not on his little brother’s antics, but on the jovial laugh you rewarded them with. it was a merry sound that would have brought him to his knees if he weren’t already seated.

he was lucky that everyone was too focused on wrangling kíli to notice the effect you had on him. then again, you could be on the other side of arda and you would still have his attention and his heart all the same. it was a dangerous thing, to be so utterly taken with someone who’s spoken all of a handful of words to you, but fili couldn’t help it.

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there's something about how ao3 formats your uploads where you can write satisfying pages and pages and pages on google docs for a chapter but when you post it the amount of text looks like you wrote it on your notes app during a 2 minute bathroom break while you were sitting on the toilet

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hey so i’m on bluesky now

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guess who’s gonna be writing soon!!!

this bitch

i’m also gonna change my url lol

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minor life update

hey y’all, jay here! i’ve been on an unofficial hiatus the past few months since my house burned down back in june (check the link if you didn’t know) & lately i’ve just been trying to get a handle on the chaos. for now i feel like i’ve gotten shit together enough to actually come back to tumblr, so here i am

i’m getting through (surprisingly) and trying to keep my head up despite all the difficulties being thrown my way. again, any and all help/reblogs will be immensely appreciated as i’m still trying to reestablish myself on a tight budget (things like my medications, car repairs, clothes, furniture, cat food, etc.)

ways to help;

cashapp: $witchyjaybird

paypal: @ daffodin

amazon wishlist

sending all the love 💜

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Happy 21st of September!

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did the last film you saw make you horny?

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