#sometimes live is just busy as fuck

[sam-loves-seb]

I’ve read your Several Sentences Sunday post an embarrassing number of times. I’m just that excited for the next chapter of I’m Not The Way I Was.

aw thanks so much, this is so sweet. i'm so glad you're excited about i'm not the way i was. i am too!

also gonna use this ask to say that unfortunately there will be no new chapter today :( there are a few parts i'm still playing with because i wanna get them right, and life's just been too chaotic lately to actually give ch 6 the time and attention it needs. i am hopeful that posting will resume in two weeks and we can get back to the regular update schedule. fingers crossed!

until then, i'm posting the first thousand-ish words of ch 6 under the cut to hopefully hold everyone over until then. (it's unedited and unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.)

enjoy. xx

Ian wakes up in Lip’s dorm room. Again.

The alarm clock is blaring at full volume, and Lip kicks Ian in the shins until he’s conscious enough to reach over and shut it off.

“What fucking time is it?” Lip groans into his pillow.

“Eight-thirty.” Ian yawns.

“I don’t have class ‘til eleven,” Lip says as he pulls his pillow out from under his head and whacks Ian in the face with it.

Ian shoves him off. “Yeah, but I have work at nine.”

That’s part of the reason Ian was able to drag himself away from Mickey’s house last night. He took a cab back to CPU in the middle of the night after he got off Mickey’s block and realized he had to be up in six hours for work. He could’ve stayed at the house and taken the L back to campus in the morning, but he was so wired after his talk with Mickey last night that he used the cab ride to tire himself out.

Which ultimately wasn’t that successful because he spent most of the ride texting Mickey and planning their first date. He even called him as he walked across the green to Lip’s dorm and listened to Mickey’s raspy voice, half asleep and smiling on the other end of the line as they decided on a date and time.

Tonight. Seven o’clock.

“Next time you go to your boyfriend’s house, stay there ‘til the morning,” Lip teases, grabbing his hoodie from the floor and sliding it on over his bedhead.

Ian gave him the one-sentence-summary of his conversation with Mickey when his bleary-eyed brother opened the door for him at two-thirty last night. He did not, in any way, shape, or form, use the word boyfriend, but Lip doesn’t seem to care.

“Yeah yeah,” Ian says with a quiet smile, pulling on a fresh t-shirt he steals from Lip’s dresser. “Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair tonight.”

Lip reaches over and plucks at the eight-ball design on the front of the threadbare cotton shirt. “You staying at Mickey’s?”

“No,” Ian answers automatically, then pauses. His hands go still where they’re half buried in his backpack. “Well. I don’t know.”

Lip just raises his brows at him as he sits down in his desk chair.

“Is that a normal first date thing?” Ian asks, his brows pinched. “To sleep over?”

“Why are you asking me?” Lip asks, tapping out a cigarette from Ian’s pack.

“’cause you’ve done this shit before.”

Lip cracks the window and lights up. “Only one of us has dated Mickey Milkovich before, and it wasn’t me.”

Ian rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but…” He shakes his head. “You know, Mickey and I never went on dates.”

Lip pauses. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Ian says, shrugging. “And I wanna do this right. I don’t know what the… etiquette is.”

Lip takes a long drag and sort of tilts his head from side to side. “I doubt Mickey does either.”

Something about that settles the little ball of anxiety that was slowly starting to build in Ian’s chest. Because Lip’s right—neither of them know what the hell they’re doing with this shit.

Whether that’s good or bad remains to be seen, but at least it puts them on an even playing field.

“Look,” Lip says, leaning over and clapping Ian on the shoulder. “Just feel it out. If things are going well, maybe suggest it, see what he says.”

Ian nods. “Yeah.”

Lip squeezes his shoulder. “Just talk to him about it. Okay?” He leans back in his chair. “It’ll be fine.”

“Yeah.” Ian breathes out a long exhale. “Okay.”

The panicked nerves inside of him start to turn into an excited buzz after a minute. He’s definitely still nervous, but it doesn’t feel as heavy. Suddenly he desperately wants it to be seven o’clock, and he’s walking over to the Alibi to pick Mickey up for their date.

The fact that Ian has to work an eight-hour janitorial shift between now and then is criminal.

“You know I’m rooting for you,” Lip starts, “but in the off chance you don’t end up staying at Mickey’s house tonight—are you coming back here?”

“Nah,” Ian tells him, shaking his head. “Figured I’d stay at the house. Last night, and all that.”

“Oh, right,” Lip says. He blinks tiredly, a little dazed. “Forgot about that.”

Ian finishes packing his shit in his bag. “Bank’s coming to change the locks tomorrow.”

Lip taps his fingers against the edge of his desk. “I think I still have some shit in my room. Maybe tomorrow morning… I mean, I have work, but I can probably catch the L early and come home to get it before—”

“I already boxed it up,” Ian tells him, slinging his backpack over one shoulder. “I put it with my shit, so you can come get it whenever. Kev and V said we could move our stuff to their place until we figure out where we’re gonna go.”

Lip nods. “Thanks.”

“Yep.”

With a heavy sigh, Lip turns in his chair and opens one of his textbooks, flipping through the pages until he finds the folded sheet of notes he crammed in it yesterday.

“What are you doing?” Ian asks, tying his sneakers. “You said you don’t have class ‘til eleven. Go back to bed.”

“No, I gotta get this done,” Lip says, glancing at the clock. “I won’t have time to do it later, I have a… thing.”

Ian raises a brow. “A thing?”

“Yeah.”

When Lip doesn’t expand on it, Ian crosses his arms over his chest.

“You’re gonna be late.”

“Don’t care. What’s your thing?”

Lip sighs. “Alright,” he says, dropping his pencil. “You know that professor I told you about?”

“The one you’re sleeping with?”

Lip nods. “The school board kind of found out about it when this naked picture I took of her leaked online.”

“Jesus Christ, Lip,” Ian says, his mouth dropping open.

“I didn’t leak it,” Lip says, then shakes his head. “Long story—whatever. They know, and now I gotta go to this fucking hearing about it.”

Ian stares at him with worried eyes. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. Can’t they kick you out for this?”

Lip considers it, then shrugs. “I don’t know.”

Ian blinks. “Shit.”

“Yeah.” Lip scrubs his hands over his face. “So now I’ve got that to worry about, and Helene’s career is under fire over something that shouldn’t have been anyone else’s business in the first place.”

Ian’s lips quirk up. “Helene?”

Lip kicks at his knee. “Shut up.”

“You’ve never told me her name before.”

“Yeah, well. That’s when I thought we could keep this whole thing on the down low.”

Ian hums in agreement.

“Anyway,” Lip says, running his finger over the corner of the page in his textbook. “I gotta read this.”

“Yeah, I gotta head out,” Ian says, standing up with his backpack on one shoulder still. “Good luck today.”

Lip waves halfheartedly. “You too.”

Ian makes a confused face as he walks backwards to the door.

Lip smiles. “With your date.”

“Right,” Ian says, and he can’t help but smile too.

“Give Mickey my love.”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”

...more to come!

[ read from the chapter 1 on ao3 ]

[curiosity-killed]

a while back I had lunch with a couple of coworkers, one of whom asked me why I like public transit and public libraries—in a genuinely, sincerely interested fashion. it was not the first time I've been asked—or had people express bemusement about this—and so, despite being caught totally off-guard the first time, I did actually have an answer this time, which was I try to support things I want to see in the world.

and i felt (and feel) like this is extremely obvious. if we all assume that someone else is going to make sure the things we care about exist and exist well, so that we don't have to do anything—chances are good they're not going to get the support they need and they, in fact, won't exist or improve. So, the counter to that is to take the steps you can to provide that support. (duh)

but I feel like there is this mindset (that is heavily class [and likely race and gender] influenced) of like....someone else will take care of it. And it's about public transit or libraries and independent bookstores and it's about voting and advocacy and community. All these important things that require maintenance and perpetual engagement��the same way that you can't just wash your dishes once in your life and never have to do them again (unless you switch to disposal dishes, but then you still have to take out the trash).

I get that there are a lot of reasons why people feel disenfranchised and fatigued but...at the end of the day, life is composed of an endless series of actions that influence what options are available to you in the future. whether it's voting or going to the library instead of amazon or taking the bus instead of an uber....like. yeah you're gonna have to keep doing it if you want to have an impact. there's no silver bullet that's going to magically land us in utopia with only perfect choices, so you're just going to have to keep choosing the best option you've got to get you that next step closer.

if there isn't a bus that takes you from doorstep to doorstep, you still take the bus that gets you closest. if the dishes are dirty, you wash them. if you want the benefits of society, you show up.

[dailykugisaki]

138 | id in alt

Being delirious leads to mistakes, one of those mistakes is not noticing a curse on your back and attached to your neck. AND. it's ugly.

[loderlied]

truly it’s so funny how shana is one of my most well-adjusted characters. leads a genuinely happy and fulfilling life. very cruel lmao

[cosmicskittlez]

Yknow I feel like Void gets villainized a lot more than he deserves. Like yeah he was kind of a dick in the first week and genuinely dangerous in the second one, but BF was also the one egging him on and then tried to do that shit again without a crowd around. Yes void is egotistical but he's sure not a bad guy. Dudes just a little mentally unwell and seems like he was doing just fine until BF started one-upping him both privately and publicly.

Which now that I think about it, wasn't BF legit trespassing on stage during one of his concerts? And then after beating him multiples times went to find him again purely for a rematch? That is so close to just insane fan behavior tbh. Most I can really fault Void for is letting BF continue to do what he was doing and not kick him out when the Accretions thought that he should. He probably knew that it wouldn't go well for him but also didn't want to stop and never know if he actually couldn't have beat him at full strength. I think at the end of the day Void is just someone who's a little egotistical and stubborn, but his breakdown was majorly influenced more by the fact that someone just kept pushing their own luck and tried to beat Void at his own game, even when it was clearly sending him into a mental breakdown.

[sparkly-skies]

@reserved-fruit thank you for the link to this video with Kris' heart ring (goes perfectly with Keep Me Grounded, Keep Me Calm, just saying 👀 do you like friends (Bojan and Kris) comforting each other and jokingly proposing while still being deeply serious about how important their friendship is? Go read this!).

Here's some screenshots to look at with me, why? Because I'm a touchstarved bitch and scream and cry at any sighting of physical affection. Thank you Bojan for providing enrichment in my enclosure.

Also this one. Because I see a mention of friends spending time together because they love each other and love spending time together, I scream and screech in missing my friends noises.

[jrueships]

Bought one of my lil nephew giannis shoes for his birthday bcs he loves giannis and these are some of the ugliest fucking things I have ever laid my eyes on in my life. anyways it's his bday today so i gave them to him. but they are so ugly. he loves them

[bredforloyalty]

you do have to find a way to be okay with it when people are but who said it's supposed to be taken literally

[parkerstorms]

.

[evermoredeluxe]

im currently reading a book about the genocide of indigenous people, and why people refuse to acknowledge it, and what narratives are used to mask it, and how those schemes work because they are present even right now. and all it makes me think about is the israel-palestine situation. in less than a hundred years, the generation will be studying about this in their textbook. in fact, studying about multiple wars, but that is only if we start caring about those countries

[icefire149]

.

[girlivealwaysbean]

it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy

[olymphianblood]

ok guys its not funny anymore when is d&p hard lauching im starting to getting anxious /hj

[crybaby-bkg]

nothing more frustrating than trying to express your feelings about someone and people keep tryna play devils advocate and over explain in defense of another and it’s like. frankly. I don’t give a shit bc I am still. upset.

[gregmarriage]

the whole thing of “oh, you use mobility aids?’” “oh, you use *insert thing that makes my life easier*?” said in the kinda tone where it’s kinda obvious they’re looking down on you for it. literally go fuck yourself <3

[confinesofmy]

i'm planning next week's picnic like if one thing goes wrong i'll be publicly beheaded. i'm locked in to such an absurd degree.