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doomednarrative · 3 years

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I’m doing this for fun simply because I'm rewatching them all so,

Here's my personal ranking for Every Gorillaz Music video, based both on song and the video itself:

(This is going to be a long post)

PHASE ONE:

Tomorrow Comes Today: 7/10. I love this song and the video fits its vibe, but its still pretty simplistic and not a whole lot of actual animation and no story, so it gets points off for that.

Clint Eastwood: 10/10. I love this one honestly. Its still so charming after all this time and showcases the band well for their early days. Love the more moody tone of it, and I always love seeing the band actually play instruments in their videos too. Bonus points for Murdoc's laugh opening this one because I love that.

Rock The House: 9/10. Pure fun. I don't have a lot of commentary for it, I just think its fun and I love the song itself too. One point off for Murdoc thrusting his hips too many times for my eyes tho.

19-2000: 10/10. This one was the first Gorillaz video that I saw and it really is just a nice non plot connected video. The 3D animation still manages to hold up because of its mix with 2D animation in my opinion and I enjoy it.

Rockit: 5/10. I like the song but the video is kinda meh.

PHASE ONE MV'S OVERALL: Overall I like phase one and I miss Del. Bring him back.

PHASE TWO:

Dirty Harry: 8/10. 2D is just vibing so hard in this video and I'm living for it. That’s all that matters. (Side note but I love the version of this video they did for the BRIT's as well.)

DARE: 10/10. Noodles time to shine, a perfect song, what more could you ask for?? (Also love the bit with Murdoc at the end of course.)

Feel Good Inc: 10/10. This one is obvious if you know me at all. Murdoc playing his bass is what sells this one for me cause I enjoy the animation. The songs amazing and one I find comforting to listen to, and the mood of the video fits it perfectly. Theres some really fun shots with lighting while 2D is standing at the window too in the tower in here that I've always liked.

El Mañana: 6/10. I love this song but it makes me sad and so does the video.

PHASE TWO MV'S OVERALL: Phase One is iconic for its art style and for being The Beginning, but Phase Two is my favorite of the two for its art. I love how these videos are animated, and even if Demon Dayz is my least favorite album, the songs in these videos are all very good. Pretty solid as a whole all things considered.

PHASE THREE:

Stylo: 10/10 LISTEN, I KNOW SOME PEOPLE HATE THE CGI, BUT I LOVE IT. It’s so expressive, this song is one of my absolute faves, I’m sorry to be such a Murdoc liker but hes so much fun in this video and so expressive and it starts the story off for Plastic Beach. I love it so much.

On Melancholy Hill: 7/10. It’s not a bad video, and I love the song a lot, but...not a lot actually happens in the video aside from the bits with Noodle. Bonus points however go to just how seamlessly it puts 2D and 3D animation together, and for how cute 2D looks this whole video.

Rhinestone Eyes: 9/10. WOULD BE A 10/10 IF WE’D GOTTEN OFFICIAL ANIMATION FOR IT ;-; (The fan animated video for it tho is Very very good and i applaud that whole team.) Amazing song, this video has the most story packed into it so far from all the other videos and it’s memorable from its storyboards for that alone.

Doncamatic: 10/10 Listen...Listen I know its a one off and it doesn't really have anything in it but I’m obsessed because its one of my favorite Gorillaz songs tbh and I love Daley’s outfit in it so it gets a full pass from it.

PHASE THREE MV’S OVERALL: I love every video this phase tbh, none of them are bad. All of them are fun,and even if Melancholy Hill is a little slow, it’s still enjoyable. I love this phase because they all connect and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way either.

PHASE FOUR:

Hallelujah Money: 7/10. It’s not at all bad, but I’m as not fond of this song, and the video itself is much too trippy for me. Still has its own merits tho that I won’t knock it for even if it’s not my personal taste.

Saturn Barz: 10/10. Everything about this video is amazing. Character designs and as a comeback for the bands animated counterparts, it was perfect. I loved hearing them actually speak again too it made the whole thing so fun. The song is fuckin awesome and it fits the vibe of the whole video. Bonus points for the more lineless animation style they gave everyone in this video, it was a really neat change from past phases. My one complaint is again stop making me see so much naked Murdoc, I may like him but not like that.

Sleeping Powder: 6/10. I am so split when it comes to the mo cap models. This songs good but the video is again too trippy for me.

Strobalite: 9/10. Would have been 10/10 if Russel got to dance with 2D and Noodle, but other than that its pretty damn good. The mo cap looks way less awkward in here, particularly Murdoc and Russel. Also hilarious that Murdoc made a deal with the devil, and the guy who played him is actually his voice actor irl. This songs too much fun to vibe to as well.

PHASE FOUR MV’S OVERALL: Not much for story, but makes up for it in updated art and great music again. Solid overall yet again. I like it.

PHASE FIVE:

Humility: 20/10. Literally every single person I know who’s seen this video loved it. The animation is Beautiful, the song is so fuckin catchy, Jack Black is in it! What more do you want!! (The only thing I could have asked for was to see more of Ace but that’s its only flaw.)

Tranz: 9/10. I love this song so much but this video is Again just a little too trippy for me. However, we get to see Ace just jamming out in this video and I’ll take the trippiness just for that.

PHASE FIVE MV’S OVERALL: I was surprised there wasn't at least one more video for this phase honestly? I feel like Kansas or Souk Eye would have made for great videos for this phase. That aside tho, both the videos it does have are a lot of fun. My literal only complaint is that I wanted to see more of Ace. Bring him back in the future.

PHASE SIX:

Momentary Bliss: 8/10. This songs fine, but what sells it for me is the video is more slice of life/a day in the life of the studio. I’m always a fan of those moments. Bonus points goes to Murdoc trying to fuckin poison Jamie and it backfiring on him.

Désolé: 10/10: ooooh this song is so beautiful...I love it so much. 2D Noodle and Russel got to have such a fun time in this video and they deserve it. And poor Murdoc, having his little sad times by his asshole self. I love him but I think he deserved it. The others needed a good break from the bullshit and I’m glad they got it.

Aries: 6/10. Video itself is kinda boring, but the song is nice. Murdoc deserved to be left behind in Désolé after what he tried to pull here.

Friday the 13th: 3/10. I don’t care for this video and I really don’t care for the song. Not much else to say.

PAC-MAN: 6/10. Video’s fine, I like some of the little details in it, but it’s nothing special. The song itself is nice tho, super calming, I like it.

Strange Timez: 20/20 MY GOD I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH...VISUALS ARE SO FUN, I LOVE ROBERT SMITH SO I LOVE HIM IN HERE, ITS JUST A GOOD TIME ALL AROUND!

The Pink Phantom: 5/10 I just don’t really care for this song?? I like Elton John but I couldn’t get myself to like this one no matter how many times I’ve listened. 2D got to be happy in this video tho so I’ll give it a pass.

The Valley of the Pagans: 6/10. This song fuckin slaps but the video feels like a boring redo of 19-2000 except for it’s ending. It gets points for giving everyone Plastic Beach feelings at the end and hyping up the video after it.

The Lost Chord: 20/20. Y’all knew this was coming. This was something I’d BEEN hoping for story wise and I finally got it. Was it maybe a little rushed? Yes. But GOD it was such a nice thing to see them say “hey we’ve wrapped up this part of the story for good and want everyone to move on from it, so we’ve given it a properly acknowledged final send off.” And tangibly seeing everyone's emotions laid out about the island and their times there was very nice. And I know Jamie and Damon have stated Murdoc is irredeemable, blah blah yes I know hes an asshole still, but I WILL think about Murdoc in this video and how he seemed actually regretful and what that means to me and the fact that it was no one else but 2D himself being the one to reach out to Murdoc in the end to save him until my dying breath, thank you very much. And this song?? Fuckin beautiful, it had those Plastic Beach vibes again and felt good for it’s send off song, I love it.

PHASE SIX MV’S OVERALL: I may be a little split on some of them and on Song Machine as a whole, but tbh I love the phase six art style so much and most times the videos were pretty good. Bringing back PB in the end was something I always wanted too so it really does get bonus points from me for that. I’m 50/50 on them overall. The great ones are great, and the meh ones are just kinda boring, so it evens out in the end.

STAND ALONE VIDEOS MENTION:

Do Ya Thing: 10/10. I’ve said before I love the 3D animation and the slice of life stuff, so this one’s obviously a favorite, and you really cant go wrong with an Andre 3000 feature either.

Superfast Jellyfish: 3/10. This song is kinda fun but I don’t give a single shit about the music video.

Garage Palace: 8/10. Very fun pixel visuals for a change along with a killer song, super enjoyable.

So what’s my final verdict on Gorillaz and their long music video history?

Honestly for a group thats been going as long as they have, I dont think they have too many misses in their catalog. The ones that aren’t as fun are just kinda there, but the videos that really stand out stand out far above the ones that don’t hit the mark as well and in the end it all feels like a good balance. No band has a perfect video every time, but the ones that Gorillaz did well they did amazing on and I enjoy it immensely when that happens.

Sidenotes after watching all of those:

For the love of god please put Russel in the videos more, please, he deserves it and I would love to see him more.

On that note, BRING DEL BACK WITH HIM TOO!!

And speaking of characters to bring back, I want Ace to come back and join Murdoc sometimes, even if its only once or twice more, I need to see them interact PLEASE.

Last note but Jamie, please, I’m begging, show less of mostly naked or fully naked of Murdoc in future videos, we’ve had our fill by now.

#can you tell im hyperfixating again??? anyways #kief rambles about gorillaz #gorillaz #this was fun but good lord

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auroraphilealis · 6 years

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just a small list of fic recs

Earlier this morning my friends asked for some fake dating phan AU fics and I realized that making a fic rec list might be a good way to show some appreciation for fanfic author appreciation day!

I don’t have all day free like I wish, so I asked my friends for a few smaller catagories that I could shift through and find a few fics to rec from, that way I can get a good mix of fics for people to enjoy, and find as many authors as possible to thank!

Of course, I can’t possibly have read every fic out there ever, so if you aren’t on here that’s no like, disrespect to you or anything. Every single person whose ever written and posted a fanfic deserves to be recognized and loved for what they’ve produce for us, so just know that I appreciate every single one of you, on or off this list!

To add to this, I tired to pick some older, or smaller works that people may have not seen before to give the authors a little lift if possible :)

Without further ado, below you’ll find some fic recs and author appreciation below !

Fake Relationship:

Our Threadbare Lies - @ramonaspeaks - Dan is eighteen years old and newly single. He's ready to come out to his family but he thinks it would be a hell of a lot easier if he had a boyfriend to help him through it.

This is like one of my all time favorite fake relationship fics of all time. Honestly it was so well done and really realistic and the writing is just superb. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve re-read this fic, (as well as most of the authors other works) because it was just so well done, so thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to the author for all the hard work they put into it! On top of that, it holds really, really close to 2009 timeline (as we know it) and manages to make things work that might not have worked in their AU if they weren’t so smart about it

Maybe, Possibly - @cafephan - Phil’s mother is adamant that he should be settling down, so invites one of his turbulent exes to an annual family get-together the following day. In a moment of panic, he tells her he’s already dating someone. With no other options, he turns to Dan.

aldjflkas I fucking love this fic so freaking much. I’ve read it like ten million times. Everytime it shows up on my dash I open it to read it again. It’s just really funny and sweet in a strange way, and captures an essence of dnp that I really enjoy. I like how easy it is for dnp to pretend to be together in this fic, and how easy it is for them to then transition to ACTUALLY being together. It’s the perfect kind of non-dramatic get together fake relationship AU ever and I really, really do love it. Again, massive thank you to the author!

friends dont treat me like you do - @internetakeover (i think i got your @ right) - Why had Dan agreed to this? Pretending to be Phil’s boyfriend at his ex’s wedding had seemed like a nice idea at first, a way to meet some of Phil’s old university friends while helping him avoid humiliation, but already Dan’s on edge. If Dan allows himself to relax for a day, lets himself watch Phil as much as he wants, touch Phil as much as he wants, carry on their flirtatious banter when normally he’d laugh it off... he’s worried about what Phil might see.

I ended up re-reading this after I stumbled across it again just now hahaha I really love this fic. It’s super cute and a little sappy cause WEDDING FIC but that’s what makes it so worth the read. I love that both Dan and Phil realize how easy their relationship is, and the fact that they’ve technically been dating for a long time and that they love each other. I love that they realize this the way that they do, and it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so thank you so much to the author <3

Asexuality

Between Us - @winteredspark who doesnt appear to have a tumblr :( - "I think I'm asexual," Dan breathes against the crook of Phil's neck, blinking back tears.There's a pause, then -"Nice to meet you, asexual. I'm Phil," says Phil.

This is the asexual fic that helped me to realize that I’m asexual and that asexuality is a spectrum that isn’t limited to one version or another. I remember leaving a really long thoughtout comment to the author but I can’t not rec it here as well. It’s just such an amazing asexuality fic and it’s a little bit of a different take not it considering the character exists on a different part of the spectrum than most ace fics portray. I will always be grateful to this author for this fic!

let’s save up for something new - @deletablebird - Phil wakes up shivering the morning of October 19th, 2009. Today is the day he meets Dan. Fluff, 3.5k

I love this author with my whole heart and I’ve read everything they’ve written lol. This is just a really, really cute and lovely take on 2009 with the asexual aspect included and it really made my heart happy, so thank you so so much for this fic!

Theater

Disguises - @ramonaspeaks - Phil auditions for a play at a local theater and meets Dan, who spends most of his time acting whether he’s on stage or off.

Again, another fic from one of my favorite authors of all time. This is like my actual favorite theater au of all time. I am completely in love with the whole thing. It feels so real, and their characters are so well fleshed out, and each scene is just actually fantastic. I solidly recommend this one and I am soooo thankful to the author for bringing it into existence!

just touched down in london town - @phanetixs - "Hamilton is actually really nice and the plot is very interesting and okay, well, there’s this guy."In which, London is not as bad in the summer, a cute guy dies considerably in Act III and Phil has actually lucked out for once.

Look not only do I stalk all of this authors fics, but this is one of my all time favorites of theirs. They managed to take an idea that almost seems ludicrous and make it into something not only super hot, but super realistic and really, really, really fun. I absolutely adore this fic and I give you all the kudos my wonderful author. Thank you for writing such a wonderful au!

Which as they kiss, consume - @irrevocablys which for some reason it wont tag you :( - Dan’s an aspiring actor, and Phil’s so over studying Romeo and Juliet.

This was one of my first theater au’s and I truly adore it. its just like got this super cute undertone to it thats incredibly wonderful? I just love the way the characters interact and the ease and flow of the writing <3 thank you for giving us something so beautful

Supernatural Elements

Ride with the moon in the dead of night - @mooksie01 -Phil seriously needs to buy some allergy medicine or something. Or at least open a window next time he performs a demonic ritual. He wouldn't have thought that one little sneeze could've messed up a spell so bad, but now he has a demon on his hands and only six days to get rid of it before he's stuck with it forever....And maybe the demon is acting like a total cinnamon roll, but Phil is positive that it's all just an elaborate ruse.

ajdlsfkjasdlkjfls omfg I love this fic so much. I actually adore fics with supernatural elements in them and this is one of those fics that always stands out to me. It’s just really hilarious and well written and is just overall a fun take on witch phil. I just, i really love it, and I’m so grateful it exists. Thank you wonderful author <3

Reflections of the Heart - @butterflyphil - “Being told to dress up in a dinosaur onesie and have cereal catapulted at your face is a little odd. Waking up to find that you and your best friend have switched bodies? That’s fucking bizarre.”(Or, the multi-chaptered, slightly smutty bodyswap fic that no one asked for. Featuring whiny/annoying!Dan, sassy/beguiling!Phil, unintentional innuendos, intentional innuendos, unnecessary kitchen supplies, and just a pinch of magic).

UHM, THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVE FICS? Lol. I just really freaking love body swap fic and you did such a good job with this fic. it’s honestly just super fun and a little hot and really cute and beautiful overall. I really just, really cant thank you enough for this fic and rec it really really highly!

Vampires & Werewolfs

High - @icandigelvis - Just the ordinary story of Dan and Phil, except one little detail. Phil isn't human in this one. Expect biting, bickering, playlist live, blood, bad jokes and sex.

ajdslfkjasl listen I love vampire fic and this one is just so good. it’s so true to dnp’s personalities and just like, accurate to who they’d be tbh. And like, the fact that it sticks so close to reality aside from the vampire difference is what makes it even better so thank you so much to the lovely author for writing it. It’s everything I ever needed and more from a vampire fic

Taking Every Chance I’ve Got All - @nagirci - Dan wanted was to get drunk, really. Have a good time, meet a few new people. He didn’t really think about getting involved with someone as dangerous as Phil Lester (someone as cold, as pale and, well, as not alive), and he definitely didn’t think that one trip out to a bar would change his life forever.

This is like a really older fic that’s from one of the first phandom big bangs but it’s one of my first favorite vampire fics of all time as well and it’s just. really good and really well thought and the collaboration work on it is incredibly flawless. I honeslty would tell anyone to read it at any time because it comes together so well

Sharp Teeth - @theshyauthor - AmazingPhil is a Youtuber and a vampire and according to Dan Howell, he is the nicest person to exist. From their first meeting in 2009 all the way to that one incident in the elevator at the BBC, this is their story.

Again this is just such a good take on 2009 and the reality of dnp with added vampirism tossed in. Plus the author is a beautiful wonderful person and I really enjoy their writing so its a total please go read this kind of fic x3 Thank you darling for writing something so wonderful <3

be sure to ring the doorbell - @frostbittencheeks - Dan’s a tired sports reporter, Phil’s a friendly vampire with no real sense of boundaries and a propensity for bad Dracula jokes as well as leaving his unconscious victims in Dan’s kitchen. This isn’t how Dan thought courtship goes, but he’ll take it.

Can you tell I love vampire fics? This one is so well done, I literally re-read it constantly. I love the whole idea behind it, specifically the fact that Phil’s version of courtship is literally ridiculous and he doesn’t even think that they need to talk about it hahahaha I just love how funny and adorable it is and it’s just totally worth a few minutes of your time

a puppy sort of love - @symmetricdnp - Dan's supposedly a werewolf. Phil has doubts.

I honestly want to beg this person to write me more of this fic cause the permise is just that good. There are so few werewolf fics in the phandom, and especially ones that are this cute, thoughout , and well written. I absolutely adore this fic and I totally rec it to all of you. The author is wonderful, thank you so much for writing this fic <3

Blind

It’s the blue of your eyes, and the way you’re scared, love - @glitteraccent Soulmate (Color)! & Blind!Phil au

Okay but like this story always sticks out in my memory and I think on it often. It’s one of my all time favorite soulmate au’s and blind au’s, because it was just structured so well and the characters make your heart fall for them really, really fast. I love this author and tumblr wont tag them, but reblog their fic and give them all the love in the world!

#fic recs #fanfic author appreciation day

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pinksweatergettingbetter · 7 years

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warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Okay folks. this is it. part 1 of the final chapter

here we go.

trial day 2?? oh yeah i forgot they split this game up in the worst, uneven way possible

wow that cutscene was

something alright

wow datz actually managed to hold onto the snow globe. kudos?

what the fuck

i think i heard it wrong but Dhurke’s objection sounds like an old man

I'm pretty sure i heard it wrong

missed the bass

who was that no– oh Garananana

i guess she's gonna be the final boss instead huh

im so tired i cant even snark properly

“is that kosher?”

i like it

oh god

what.... what is she wearing

i mean

fuckin

TALK about madonna-whore complex. oh yeah, time to turn super evil?? bear your midriff! show off dem tiddies!

look, SOJ. theres only one bad bitch in ace attorney who can pull off floaty tendril hair, and its NOT ga’ran.

i cant believe i have to look at this train wreck for the rest of the trial

“heh heh heh. its all coming back now. the feel of my blood pumping through my veins”

this is perhaps because youre actually moving now, your eminence.

can we just dispense with the trial and have a good old fashioned anime fight? cmon apollo, spike up that hair and grab your BFS.

“meep”

WHATS WITH THE MEEPING

BONNY DID THAT TOO

SOJ ITS 2016 ...ACTUALLY ITS 2028 YOU HOLES

everyone in the court: :O what??? whats wrong with rayfa??? why is she sad???

oh i dunno maybe because her fucking Father just got brutally murdered?? maybe??

what the fuck is up with SOJ characters being dumb as a bag of bricks when it comes to other peoples’ feelings regarding death of loved ones???

phoenix: shits fucked, thats why?? apollo: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“seems like she's worse off today than she was yesterday”

hey game you'd better not be implying any shit

“discipline”

soj

alright, back after another longass break. i can do this.

( That’s oddly compassionate of him, all things considered )

I was about to defend Nahyuta because what kind of person wouldn’t try to spare a child from witnessing that kind of trauma... but then again, this is the Sadmad who purposefully tried to trigger someone into losing a trial so

(shrug emoji)

grana’s gone into full HORHORHOR BITCH MODE

partially I'm totally numb because i dont have any stakes in her newfound ebilness, and partially I'm tired of this weird new trend of child abuse in the new games

“Barbed head.”

oh my god

the first person she goes to after realizing that her caretaker is gone is fucking Phoenix

im gonna cry

“ive been reduced to “royal robe remover”” NO NICK YOU’VE BEEN UPGRADED TO DAD BY SOMEONE WHO’S NOT YOU

( ‘It’s like she’s grooming Mr. Wright to be Nayna’s replacement’)

I know this game is all about confusing bullshit for heartwarming moments and vice versa but guys

good lord

my heart

i really needed that

(sigh) they really couldn’t get someone who sounded like a fucking 14 year old to do her voice?? really???

rayfa: (looks like she's going to die and collapses)

apollo: this is not good...

gee apollo you really think so?

wait a fuking second

we went through the whole dance cutscene and we’re not even going to see the pool??? does that mean the priestess has to be conscious and present for the images to be visible? ...and how does that work, anyway?

i just realized, a medium could use a pool to see the dead, but how the hell could they project it for others to see?? does she literally open a portal to hell???

(sigh) i just regret sitting through that cutscene again

“cabal of traitorous lawyers”

i love that

(Seriously Dhurke? This is no laughing matter.)

this basically sums up Dhurke’s entire personality

...yknow, i know what they were trying to do with his character– i really do. i know he’s supposed to come off as a dashing, cavalier rebel who laughs in the face of danger.

but they overshot endearingly irreverent and ploughed straight into fuckwaddome. if you want a character to be charming, they need softer moments too. Dhurke isn’t a bad person, but he’s kind of an asshole when you get right down to it, and nothing so far is proving otherwise.

ok ive heard Dhurke’s Objection again and it doesn't sound like an old man– it just sounds about as overblown and ridiculous as Manfred von Karma’s (not to mention about as deep)

LET DHURKE SAY BITCH

... i guess

another perfect example of Dhurke being kind of a fuckwad: he keeps needling the queen and baiting her in ways that could get himself killed, which would be all fine and dandy if he were the brave resistance leader being tortured for information in the bowels of a dungeon.

...but here’s the thing.

IF YOU DIE, DHURKE, APOLLO AND PHOENIX DIE TOO. DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE GODDAMN DC ACT? ITS NOT JUST YOUR DEAD ASS ON THE LINE HERE SO SHUT YOUR SASSY TRAP AND THINK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR *AMAZING WIT* FOR ONCE.

you’ve got 2 extra lives on the line here.

...3 if my suspicions are correct.

stop calling him son please you abandoned him in an orphanage and didnt contact him for 14 years.

...and if he can’t call you ‘dad’ you have no right to call him ‘son’

coming back to this after ghost trick has convinced me that one of ga’ran’s lackeys miiiiiight be related to Cabanela, baby

“Wright... I can see we are kindred spirits, you and I! Hah-ha ha ha ha ha!!”

FUCK YOU DHURKE

“It’s pretty easy to spot the difference between a soulless man and the soulless shell of a man”

ok that did get a laugh out of me, good job dhurke.

apollo: pls dont get us killed dhurke: mmmm ok ill try but I'm not promising anything lol

://///

“But remember, son, if you truly believe in me, you should be able to prove my innocence.”

do i even have to list how many reasons thats wrong and a shitty thing to say

“Such Insolence”

You’ve been beat out, Not So Fast

Ga’ran used Gust!

Apollo flinched and couldn’t move!

“I could behead you at any time”

she's got a point; she’s a fucking despot, there’s no reason to actually hold a trial. i mean i guess she wants to shut up the rebels but just killing them would be a lot easier and its not like she has any qualms about murder

“Aw shoot, ya got me.”

again, not an appropriate reaction for whats going on buddy

lol get fucked kjudge

DGFUFUS OH COOL

WE GOT GUILTY (excited cheers from the audience)

the applause and the shots of everyone with :O faces is making me feel like i just won a gameshow

wheres my cheesy jingle

also i love how Dhurke’s like “oh shit!! my assholishness has directly resulted in my son’s death!!! did NOT see that coming!!!!!!!!!”

again the sound mixing is drowning out the background music (sigh)

“your benevolence? I’d be happy to lend an ear if you’d like to talk!”

>this is it, this is why he leaves the series guys. Apollo is too good for these sinful games.

DAMNIT DHURKE, YOUR SHIT MOUTH IS RUBBING OFF ON YOUR SON

hmm

we’ve got an april may here

“Rayfa, I shall buy you a new servant”

so Kooraheen practices slavery..? I mean, she.... she said ‘buy’, not hire.

“she would have left shoeprints”

do you know what evaporation is your malevolence

wait wait wait

that doesn't make any sense

the only prints leading out are from Inga, but the prints inside the building are from Nayna? how did she avoid leaving prints leading inside, then?? did she just long-jump over the dirt path???

the guards are not fanboying, apollo, they’re toadying. there’s a difference.

apollo: maybe the place he was stabbed and the place he died were different

(the game only continues after you carefully explain what dying of blood loss is three years later)

to be completely fair, there are actually stories of people who were unaware of being stabbed

furthermore, when you get stabbed, you’re not going to be the most rational human being on earth.

phoenix, don’t give sadmad that point, especially when he’s currently assaulting your protege

now, as i was saying, Apollo’s suggestion that Inga was stabbed in the back and then ran into the temple is perfectly plausible; running to shelter from an attacker is probably the first thing you’d want to do when injured, and the tomb was a pretty safe place, i’d wager.

tbh i really don’t know why they’re arguing about him feeling the pain as that wouldn’t really impair his movement considering he was stabbed in a place that wouldn’t affect his ability to walk???

but yeah apparently he was doped up to shit so

...i highly doubt back pain medication is strong enough to negate a stab wound. on the other hand, if it is and your back pain is THAT intense, Inga, you need to see a fucking doctor pronto.

...yeah shots straight into the spine is one step away from surgery; not to be an asshole but I'm not sure Inga was doing so well anyway before he went

huh. are they really gonna give us an actual choosable choice to abandon Dhurke and save our own skin? Cause that would be interesting; a lot like the old games where you could “”choose”” to defend a client or not.

to be clear here, though, i wouldn't choose “no” even as much as i dislike dhurke. we know (sigh) that he’s innocent, and even if i dont like him it’s our duty to defend his shitty ass

OH HOLY FUCK

THERES THE CHOICE

wow. y’know SOJ, i dont much like you, but you fuckin Did That. well done.

also thank you for the Justice pun it is much appreciated.

“And while I can’t say I’m used to it, this isn’t exactly my first rodeo”

FWHAT

>game flashes back to the Ahlbi case

DSKJFLS THIS IS LITERALLY THE “at second rodeo: this isn't my first rodeo” POST

YES OK WE’VE SEEN THIS CUTSCENE TWICE NOW ALREADY

WE GET IT, RAYFAS GOT COLD FEET ABOUT BEING QUEEN

MAYAS IN THE GAME

phoenix: allow me to mansplain how rayfa is feeling despite how fucking obvious it is. after all, we know our players have the mental and emotional capacity of goldfish!

oh hey mansplain is a legit word in the dictionary

cool!

why are they building this up?? just fucking tell Rayfa to do her stupid dance again and get on with it; we already did this at the beginning of the trial

“Hmm... Indeed. It would be problematic.”

ohohoooohohohhhihgjhgo

oh her nails are actually tiny pen

thats neat

thank goodness Kooraheeneese is an up-and-down written language– otherwise they’d have to make a whole new animation for the english game teehee

“....................But... Horn Head needs my help”

oh my heart

dan she just straight up begone’d her

see the one thing that falls flat here is that, during a regular trial, the prosecution saying “oh, ok, have it your way; you can try to prove your theory” holds up a little more since they... you know. don’t have absolute power.

where as, with Garananana, its more like she's just a huge posturing pushover. especially since every other minute she's saying “ok, I'm gonna kill you for REAL now.”

rayfa: b but if i fail you'll be killed!!! i dont get it...

apollo: i literally just finished explaining that I'm 100% ready to die for my shitty job that was like 5 minutes ago

it is sweet to see that he’s cheering her on though. good big bro

I'm finding small solace in this beautiful moment of “your foreign dad and bro are here for you babe reach for the stars”

Athena’s probably flashing a double thumbs up from the gallery too

“But... I finally know now. I know in what I can trust”

Bobby, from the afterlife: YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

Garan: What??? my tiny 14 year old daughter is going to do a thing i don’t want her to??? fuck there’s no way i can shut her up. not even with all of my large adult man guards who could easily just escort her out of the courtroom without any resistance because they’re my fucking royal guards and I'm the Queen

oh shit she took off her own cape

im so glad i muted the game so her awful voice actress couldn’t ruin this cool moment

and now as this long ass cutscene plays out again, i simply cannot help but wonder about the poor choir and how long they’ve been on standby

where do they keep the choir during trials

whats it like singing the dance of devotion song every trial

oh finally here we go. alright, lets see what the magic party pool has in store for us this time

...o ...ok then

OH! OH SHIT

Inga’s face blind?!

Y’know I did have a few thoughts about that when we discovered his notebook but I didn’t think they’d actually go that route... though, thinking about it now, it is pretty convenient.

...ok everyone’s freaking out. maybe they’ve never heard of face-blindness? ...or maybe its not face blindness after all

im pretty sure it is though

i dont know why but everyone being like FUCK ITS GOD and phoenix being like “whoops shits trippy now” made me laugh pretty hard

ok i gotta say I'm actually a little invested now, even if its just because i think face-blindness is an interesting thing to incorporate into a murder case. again, a convenient thing, but an interesting thing all the same.

ahh fuck i keep forgetting how the stupid seance works

welp, there goes one of my souls... (sigh)

..apollo you dont need to show her the picture of her dead father to say “he had a cell phone”.

the voice was coming from INSIDE THE PHONE

RAYFA HAS A PET FROG????

WHAT

SHOW US THE FROG SOJ

SHOW US THE FROG! SHOW US THE FROG! SHOW US THE FROG!

...why would Rayfa interpret the sound of the warbaa’d (something she’s familiar with) with a lion’s roar (something she’s unfamiliar with) ??

oh i see thats why Vore Machine is an idiot

for plot convenience

Datz Are’bal, a man who throws fire crackers at children.

...sounds like an are’bal guy.

bahdum-tshh

“The joker who got a kick out of startling Ahlbi with his Dragon Snot Snaps”

...something tells me that if Datz found out about Youtube, he’d be one of those “””prank””” channels.

also WHY ARE THEY CALLED SNOT SNAPS

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

“happy-go-lucky”

i think you mean vaguely sociopathic

(sigh) ive finally been worn down to the point where i need a walkthrough. ive... been beaten...

boy ahlbi’s just a font of knowledge isn't he

DID SHE JUST BREAK HER NAILS OFF

PLEASE SAY THOSE WERE STICK ONS

HOL SHIT

MMMM LAY IT ON ME NICK

face blindness

... i mean theyre not calling it that but thats what it is

yeah yeah channeling blah blah come on! youre in the LAND of channeling !

shduhjahdjk

I'm picturing Inga running into his own dead body and flipping his shit

oh man. thats the end of Trail 2 part 1.

guess i’ll see you guys on the other side... heheh.

#soj spoilers #sulking over SOJ #ooc #its a LONG one]

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blog-optimisticcoffeestuden-blog · 6 years

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Winchendon Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1475

"Winchendon Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1475

Winchendon Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1475

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I'm filling in an insurance comparison and it asks if I have the use of other vehicles, I can drive my dad's but does it make it more or less expensive?""

""Is buying scion xb 2008 for me a good decision? How about insurance, after market maintenance and so on.?""

Im in early 30s, this is my first car... here are my preferences, i'm 6ft 2 inches so i want to feel comfortable in the driving seat and so the people sitting in the rear seats, Toyota for reliability, popularity & availability of parts, less maintenance overhead,nice ROI. I need good night visibility, does it comes with HID lights installed? Good range of colors (esp. nautillica metallic blue). Is stick better than automatic (if so why) ? This is mostly for my commute to work everyday (10 miles) and occasional long driving on holidays and weekends ? I'm not looking for any bells & whistles just the base model. The total cost of the car with tax comes $18K+ ... the APR is 6.39% (scion.com) , so by paying more down payment say $12K will i be able to reduce the monthly interest for the rest of the payment (6K) or should i shop around ? I believe you cant negotiate for price with the dealer. Do you have any more suggestions""

Auto Insurance on a 16 year old Living in GA?

Can I Use My Dad Or My Mom Insurance to be cheaper it a 4 door

Mazda Miatia Insurance Costs!!!?

I am 18 years old and am in the process of buying a mazda miata. I am looking to buy one between 2002-2005. how BAD will the insurance be on it for someone my age? LIke minimum coverage, just Liability and Uninsured Motorist.""

What is a car that will have low(er) insurance rates for a new 16 yr old driver??

So i just turned 16 and i didnt get my license yet but i am soon and my parents insurance agent said different cars have higher or lower prices on insurance, he said maybe a mid-size sedan or a small suv or minivan. but... i dont know. Anyone with experience with this cause i'm in need of a car!!""

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It was a minor accident no injuries and my insurance ran out 3 days before the accident, i have got insurance again but The person I was in an accident with is taking me to court to try and get $2800 for the damages. Now I know his vehicle is not worth more than $1000. Could that mean that I can pay the price that the car books for and then he will have to give me the title, like insurance companies do?""

""How much is insurance going to cost me, 18 and driving a Nissan altima?

How much will it cost to insure myself at this age?

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i am wondering how much is car insurance a month for a small car if you know an estimate please write it down

Is there any way by which I could get National Insurance Number?

I would be having a telephonic interview with a MNC Bank for a banking profile.They asked me to provide with the National Insurance Number as I am Indian I do't have any National Insurance Number as in India normal concept is get insured personally without any involvement of Government. The only task of Government is to monitor the issues related with grievances. Could you please guide what is the appropriate answer under these conditions. Reply as early as possible. Thanks in advance.

In the future will car insurance for young drivers get cheaper?

Insurance california?

hi I'm an international student who goes to college in Iowa. I have a college insurance and I guess it convers most of meetings with doctors. Now, I'm taking 3 months-summer session at University of California. I think I 've heard some stuff that I need to have Californian insurance to stay here. What is this? Is it wrong? Plus, my wisdom teeth is coming out recently. It starts to hurt. Does insurance in America covers dental work?""

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Can an insurance company back date homeowners insurance?

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my parents just got me a 2010 nissan versa! :) its not from the dealership, so we wouldn't have to pay full coverage, just the basic law coverage. i need an estimate on how much it will be a month. my parents aren't helping me that well with anything, they want me to just be on my own already so pleaseeee,help. i can't do this myself :(""

What are cheap insurance companies in Ontario? (Toronto)?

My specs: 25 years old, female car is 1994 lexus sc400 bought it for $2500 has a really good alarm on it with a pager I heard Desjardins and Aviva are good prices.. any other companies I should check out? Thanks""

How much is the Private Health Insurance?

$2 a month? $50 a month? Affordable rate? I can get braces, crown, root canal, bunion repair, fungal surgically remove from my toe nails, hair replacement for my future baldheaded husband, and all?""

Car Insurance?

Ok, first does anyone know which states do not require car insurance? Second question is do you have to have full coverage on a financed car? No silliness here real answers.""

If a car is in group 4 for insurance what does that mean? How much will it cost?

Affordable dental insurance that includes braces?

I live in Santa Maria Ca,93458""

Is it illegal to drive without car insurance?

Hi, i was just wondering if it is illegal to drive without car insurance in Ontario, Canada.""

""How much does Motorcycle Insurance cost in Ontario, Canada or in your area?""

Hi, I'm planning to get either a Motorcycle License or a Private Aircraft License. I know for a fact that the minimum cost of a Private Aircraft License is around $10,000 CND for ground school, 40 hours in an airplane and your examination. From then on its around $120 CND for an hour in a Cessna. My question is, How much is a Motorcycle insurance? I heard its a lot and that is the reason why i'm choosing between these two licenses. - I am 16 (17 in December) - Grade 11 (86% avg) - Toronto, ONtario - I have my g1 and so far no tickets or accidents -Planning to get either a 2008 Ninja 250R or Honda CBR125R Thanks So how much will insurance will cost me?""

Need help with Car Insurance?

I am a 17 year old in california, who just bought a 92 Buick Skylark and I need to no what would be my best bet when it comes to getting insurance, I would like cheap insurance, as ...show more""

Car insurance question?

i had a non fault accident for which the claim is still ongoing as the 3rd party is not admitting liability and we both are with same insurance. The problem is that our car is booked in for repairs but and we have fully comprehensive insurance but the insurance is saying that they cannot guarantee us courtesy car as no one is admitting liability??? and they told me to phone hire company to ask them if they can provide one, i have always thought that with fully comp you are guaranteed courtesy car but i do not understand what they are doing.""

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I am a teenage driver of 16. Insurance is very high for a teenager. My parents have Allstate Car Insurance for four of their cars including a Toyota Corolla which im going to be driving. The Corolla is covered by AllState insurance. I have a California Driver's License and live in California. About 6 months ago, my mom asked the insurance company whether the insurance would cover the car if she lent the car to someone and the insurance company said that they would cover the car as soon as the person who borrowed the car has a VALID DRIVERS LICENSE. I have a valid drivers license but I am under 18 (I am 16). The insurance person did not say anything about age. My question is whether it is necessary or not to buy insurance for myself. It will be very expensive and I do not want to pay for it but I will If i have to. Do I have to get my own insurance for the car or not? If I dont buy insurance and I drive the corolla and get pulled over, am I okay or will I have problems?""

Car Insurance Issue's? HELPPP!?

I lost my job so I couldn't pay my car insurance for about 3 months. Then it got expired my license also got suspended because of no car insurance:/. But right now I'm back on my feet and I want to get my license reinstated and get car insurance again. I want to know how can I do that? And do I have to pay the amount I owed back to my other car insurance company or can I go to another and not pay them back? PLEASE HELP ME!

How much would insurance be for a 17 year old girl driving a 2003 350z?

how much would insurance be for a 17 year old female driver...for a 2003 nissan 350z.

""Car Insurance, will be out of the country?""

I will be leaving the country for about 5-6 months. I dont want to pay my car insurance if I am not gonna be using my car. How should I approach this problem of mine? I dont want to cancel my insurance just for the few months i will be gone, then have to start from scratch when I come back. I'm happy with the rates I have now. So will my agent allow me to not pay anything for the time being, or atleast let me pay a small monthly fee just so I can keep my existing insurance policy?""

My friend got in a car accident he only had a permit did not have car insurance what will happen im court?

He went and hot his license an got car insurance now

Auto insurance history question!?

I'm trying to get auto insurance for the second 6-month period of having my car. I don't get the question in applications for auto insurance (or getting a quote): Have you had auto insurance for the past 3 years without break or lapse in coverage? Well I have my first car for almost 6 months (fully insured), so I check no . but then it gives me two options: how long were you without coverage: a) more than one month / never had insurance b) less than one month I guess this question is trying to find out if I had a break in coverage. There isn't any break in my car insurance but I only have 6 month history! Is it OK if I say yes to the first question (Have you had auto insurance for the past 3 years without break or lapse in coverage) ? Thanks in advance""

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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/does-any-body-know-car-insurance-company-insure-left-hand-woodward/"

0 notes

werewolfmind · 7 years

Text

L.I.S B.T.S thoughts under the cut

in summary though: not a fan. The vibe of the game is off, the writing is cringey (and not in the charming way the original is, in the IM AN EDGY ANGSTY TEEN way where LIFE IS SO HARD, I dont like chloe, I dont like rachel, and cant forget the blatant “everyone is crap and takes their own issues out on everyone else” problem thats expanded to ALL characters instead of just Chloe

sighs

CAN WRITERS AND FANDOM FUCKING LEARN THAT JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO A CHARACTER, IT DOESNT EXCUSE FUTURE OR PAST ACTIONS WHICH HURT OR ENDANGER OTHERS

AND YEAH SHIT CAN HAPPEN TO CHARACTERS AND YOU FEL BAD FOR THEM, BUT BEING BULLIED OR AFRAID DOESN’T MAKE KILLING OKAY, ESPECIALLY IF ITS OUT OF REVENGE

--------

DID THE WRITERS BUY INTO THE ‘POOR BULLIED NATHAN’ THING IM PISSED NATHAN WAS A VICTIM AND I FEEL BAD FOR HIM BUT HE STILL DID SOME PRETTY FUCKED UP THINGS ON HIS /OWN/ LIKE THREATENING MAX AND CHLOE AND OH YEAH HELPING VICTORIA RUIN KATE AND POSSIBLY GETTING /HER/ KILLED AND IF YOU FAIL TO SAVE KATE HE REALLY DOESNT SEEM AFFECTED BY IT SO YEAH

HE EXPRESSES REGRET FOR RACHEL LATER AND IS GENUINELY WORRIED FOR MAX BY THE END, BUT AT THE TIME THESE EVENTS ARE HAPPENING HE STILL DOES SOME PRETTY AWFUL FUCKED UP THINGS NOT UNDER JEFFERSON

———

why do I feel hetero-hate coming from this game?

Cause look okay I know this is cliche to say but really. Warren was portrayed as some pathetic puppy and the writers give you like 10 chances to hook up with Chloe but theres only 1 right way to play things if you want Max/Warren

Now in BtS HOW many girls hit on Chloe and Rachel JUST in chapter 1 (to the point where its hitting Mary Sue levels. No everyone is attracted to the bad girl aesthetic ok?) In addition to Chloe blowing off her bf of 2 months because she got roped in with Rachel…

And like. Okay. Chloe is gay, POSSIBLY bi? So far we know she was attracted to/dated guys up until the events of BtS and shes kinda figuring out her sexuality. Max has the option of both Chloe and Warren, and assuming outside of game mechanics being able to flirt with Chloe while crushing on Warren means she’s bi and just never considered girls until Chloe came back into her life…

BUT the overall feel is that guys = bad, girls = good. The guys are either sexist, overbearing, or downright scumbags (not mention certain homicidal fucked up ones). And all the girl pairings consist of the sweet/shy girl crushing on the badass punk (Chloe or Rachel)

Not to mention the fact that theP.ricefield shippers overlook and even DEFEND how abusive and manipulative Chloe is to Max IN CANON and their very first defense is “gay ships need more representation stop hating”. Tbh I wouldnt be very happy if the first REALLY good representation of an ace character was of them also being emotionally abusive to their partner

idk. this fandom and now the pattern in the games of man-hating/portraying specifically lesbian relationships as picture perfect to Mary-Sue levels of writing? Honestly, it pisses me off

————

lol yeah

the entire vibe of this game is “straight relationships suck”

because you know

just having a good girl-girl romance wont actually send a positive message ]]

#ooc

#im

#YES OK WE GET IT YOU HATE GUYS AND STRAIGHT PEOPLE

#no really#Warren and William are the only two guys in boh games so far#that ARENT complete assholes#i mean like wow#teenage boys can be awful#but fucking REALLY?

——-

#WOW#and I liked Rachel#until she turned into a bitch and yelled at Chloe#what#youre mad because you saw [spoiler] but instead of just telling Chloe#you attack her and then go all#'yu dont ask a girl out and then not buy her a drink’#glad to see Chloes into the same type as her#girls that verbally abuse you for things wthout telling you what the real problem is#(honestly this says more about the writers views on women than it does on their relationship or the characters…….)

——–

AND WHEN CHLOE CALLS RACHEL OUT FOR SUDDENLY TREATING HER LIKE CRAP

RACHEL LASHES OUT

“I forgot its always about you. sad chloes fucking sad again!”

And you know what? THIS MIRRORS HOW CHLOE TALKS TO MAX WHEN SHE ANGRY

THIS IS LITERALLY A CYCLE OF ABUSE THAT ONLY END BECAUSE PEOPLE DIE

THIS IS NOT AN OKAY RELATIONSHIP, EITHER OF THEM

————-

you wanna know the real romance of theis game series?

Kate/Max and Max/Warren. aka ships that stood by each other and would never hurt each other and value each other for their brains and kindness over how “cool” they are ]]

#ooc

#funny how theyre both Max ships

#really tho

#Kate/Max = the ACTUAL true gay ship

#fuck you writers

——–

“Because I dont want to ruin this the way I ruin everything else in my life”

RIGHT THERE

THERE IS THE POWER DYNAMIC YOU SEE IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

RACHEL LASHES OUT AND ATTACKS CHLOE WHEN CHLOE WAS TRYING TO HELP

CHLOE CALLS HER ON IT AND GETS ANGRY

RACHEL WALKS OFF

AND THEN NEXT THING CHLOE SAYS TO GET HER TO STOP IS ESSENTIALLY SAYING THE FIGHT IS HER FAULT

AND RACHEL’S ANSWER? “What is ‘this’ exactly?!”

not adressing the real issue, instead bringing it back to the DAY-OLD RELATIONSHIP between the two making it seem like Chloe’s playing games

like jfc I could understand if theyve been hanging for a WHILE and Rachel thinks Chloe might leave her or keep waiting on her to make the ove

YOUVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR 24 HURS AND YOU WANT TO MAKE IT ABOUT CHLOE NOT MAKING A MOVE ON YOU?

SHE MANIPULATES THE CONVERSATION TO BE ABOUT HER WHILE YELLING THAT THATS WHAT CHLOE DID

FUCK YOU RACHE

————-

#ok#chloe finding the car#was hard to watch#her reaction there is understandable#ooc

——-

#this writing#its gone from cringey to#just bad writing#characters knowing things they shouldnt#and contrived convos#lol nope#this is dumb#ooc

——-

Ravens….Rachel’s scream…..

did the writers watch TW and rip off Lydia cause

——

Hey Rachel, good job causing an out of control forest fire because youre upset

look your dad cheating sucks but can you not destroy nature cause of it?

#werewolfmind watches #werewolfind plays #im not tagging it with the ship or fandom #not in the mood to deal with the echo chamber of 'homophobia' screams

0 notes

pinksweatergettingbetter · 7 years

Text

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright. part two, here we go

“she’s safe”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost me”

the words ‘maya’ and ‘safe’ do not go together in phoenix’s dictionary

...Phoenix’s phone has caller ID??

ooh a phone vocal-blip. cute

ok fuck you how is the Benefactor keeping tabs on them?? Did Atishon use his One Phone Call to report to headquarters or something???

“I admit, I didn’t see that coming”

well spoilers guys I know who the benefactor is, and they have to be pretty fucking stupid not to know that a spirit medium is needed for this.

“its your friendly neighbourhood dragon”

no dhurke, youre not cool enough to be spiderman.

“you cant lay a hand on maya fey, and i mean literally”

>foreboding

[sighs deeply]

guys. just. fucking call edgeworth. he’s chief prosecutor of america and his sister is part of INTERPOL. call edgeworth and just. fix the fucking problem. right now.

“No time to explain”

ggghhghghhghghgh

...oh. there’s edgeworth

...............now watch him be completely fucking useless

.......ARE YOU KIDDING ME

PHOENIX /DID/ CALL EDGEWORTH THE MOMENT MAYA WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE STILL WENT THROUGH HIS FUCKING “DUHHH BETTER DEFEND THIS OBVIOUS CRIMINAL” SHIT??

oh edgeworth. you and your chartered planes.

whenever he does that i like to imagine he hired MJN air.

Edgeworth...

A) Why are you letting Dhurke be involved? Just cut him out, send Franziska and Lang in with a team of guys and kick the shit out of the enemy

B) You don’t need to conceal someone on a charter jet. You chartered it. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Besides, Dhurke got into the country p easily, he can get out the same way.

C) Dhurke is a criminal. Depending on what he’s done as a rebel, he could be as guilty in your country as his home country. Why are you acting like he’s innocent? Aren't you kind of by-the-book?

oh yeah and despite the fact that they’ve updated Phoenix’s sprite, Miles still looks like a frozen plank of wood. Thanks :\

Apollo: Sorry Trucy, guess you have to hold all the unnecessary evidence and hold down the fort and be LEFT BEHIND FOR A CHANGE AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

oh. this is a really nice garden.

the drama theme is kinda harshing the mellow tho

o hai rayfa

um. what the fuck. that mask must make it pretty difficult to do shit pal

Garan, whilst ordering her henchmen online: drama queen or king preferred

UR DIARRHOEA, GAH-RAHN

cool theme, love the use of the royal “we”.

“what about those guards over there”

“ohh, just prepared to fuck shit u–– iii mean help you haha.”

yeahhh... I'm not buying her super calm “my husband is a kidnapper” attitude.

UIGSFILGFLIS DHURKE YOU FUCKING MORON

god he’s such a useless piece of shit. unless he’s trying to get taken so that he can be taken to... idk, wherever Maya is held in some sort of Gambit, he’s a real moron for just up and outing himself like that.

BAAAAARBED HEAD. YOU HAVE SOME SPLAAAAAAAAININ TO DOOOO

man why do they even give us other options if we can’t use them???

“Dhurke... I sure hope he’s alright”

hey apollo wanna hear a secret

i dont

Phoenix externally: Patience, Apollo, patience.

Phoenix internally: we are so screwed at any moment the queen could be all “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD” and i’ll never see trucy or maya again jesus holy mother buddha help me

i love that Garananana is kinda just chilling with them. You got more important shit to do, queenie. like being evil

also open your goddamn mouth once in a while, sheesh

Apollo: I hope no one gets hurt

The entire series of ace attorney as a whole: oh honey

wait ... INGA HAD A RATTAIL?!

ohhh yesss listen to those punches

why couldn’t they have animated it too ;w;

phew. im glad Maya’s ok.

yeesh... poor Rayfa.

i love that even apollo’s like “fuck dad, you didn't kill him, did you?????”

its a beautiful contrast to how adamant he was about Trucy not killing Manov.

um, soundtrack, now is not the time for Grand Revival. I know Edgeworth is on screen but the shit he’s saying is far, far from uplifting.

“it seems prosecutor sahdmadhi has grown quite fond of her”

nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

“they’ve almost become a team of sorts”

ok so mark Ema down on the list of AJ characters who will never be seen again after this game.

fuck man i’d even take Klema over this

can you imagine if they'd split up Apollo/Phoenix Edgeworth/Athena instead

i really wonder how Athena and Edgeworth would interact. Athena’s spunky enough to be a bit like Kay I suppose, so maybe similar to that.

again, Kooraheen’s detention centre theme is really quite pretty

too bad i have to look at Dhurke’s face while listening to it

...a tasty... hash house

oh apollo’s up for that

well tbh if i was him i could use some hash after all this shit

yEAH YOU TELL’IM APOLLO

SMARTEN THAT BASTARD UP

god apollo he’s not worth it. i’d say leave the fucker to his fate but i guess it is important to find the real killer... sigh

apparently queen Amara liked insensitive fuckbags with masculinity issues

oh well. to each their own.

>:( don’t compare Dhurke’s story to Phoenix’s, Apollo

“you ran?! but why?!!”

oh i dunno, athena, maybe the fucking death penalty?????

hang the fuck on

are you telling me that Dhurke started making trips to his shitty abandoned law office via sewer... while Apollo was still with him?!

Like what fucking reason would he have to drag him down there?! The place is an archive/resistance base, but Apollo and Sadmad lived in the mountains as children; why the fuck would he take his /kids/ into town at the risk of having them all arrested at once?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, DHURKE

that orb better be a fucking laser or some shit cause I'm really tired of hearing about it

oh......... hi sadmad..................... what a pleasure to see you........... again................

just as fucking pleasant as ever

i love that Dhurke is like “what happened to fighting the man, son??”

like even if he is a double agent he can’t very well just be like “psst I'm still on your side!!!!” in front of the fucking guard

i hate that dhurke’s face is so placid during this too.

“Son, why did you betray me? Also how was the sports game?”

“The Nahyuta you knew exists no more”

yeah sure sadblackworth, whatever you say

oh well that was abrupt

meh, onwards to the tomb

“No, that’s the holy mother. She’s the one who brought spirit channeling to Khura’in”

oh so you mean Ami Fey.

oh ema... i’ll miss you while youre off being Sadmad’s lapdog

“You mean His Ephemeral Holiness?”

Yes, Ema, fight it!!! Fight it!!!!!!

“But when he manages a smile and compliments my work, it’s hard to say no.”

...nuts.

wait what do you mean the defendant is someone you know

you met Dhurke like once a day ago

aw apollo took the locked-room-mystery words right out of my mouth. i love him so. why are they going to take him away?

alrihgt back to this shit after like a 3 month hiatus or something

i love how chill everyone is talking about Maya’s kidnapping

“oh yeah he brought her here to the tomb so nobody would see. sensible thing to do. oh also maya almost died but i guess that’s nbd”

casually opens a tomb

casually opens the sarcophagus hangings

casually tries to open the sarcophagus when told there’s a mummy inside

apollo, you're contracting douche-itis from everyone else. this old family of yours is a bad influence.

...we’re gonna yeet this sarcophagus arent we

i love that Amara’s just kinda. depicted standing there as she’s burned to death. i mean i guess theyre trying to preserve her beauty and dignity in death but it also makes her look like an idiot who didnt try to escape the flames.

ooh i like that last one though

pff thats a pretty well-equipped corpse line

“Where’d the other three bullets go?”

“Maybe Dhurke ate them?”

if he did they'd better have a VERY good explanation

“the poor guy”

EMA

HE WAS HOLDING MAYA HOSTAGE

“the cuffs of justice”

love it

“just one of those traditions people do and they dont know the reason why”

“like rolling up your sleeves?”

“or your psychology, if we’re going there” HE FUCKING WENT THERE

OOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU APOLLO

“he said grape juice has something in it that helps you relax”

are we going into grape juice lore here

"Really? ...Um, are you sure he was talking about regular, plain old grape juice?”

Yes, actually, Athena. It’s canonical that it is /actual off-the-vine welsh’s good ol’ sippy cup grape juice/. It’s not a metaphor or a censoring for kids, it’s just juice.

Of course, this is written by the DDSOJ staff. And considering the intense, dark n’ gritty action makeover the series got, I wouldn’t put it past them to retcon the juice into the... “fermented variety”. thanks Athena.

Yayyy not only do they write shitty dads, but they have to retroactively en-shitten Phoenix as an alcoholic father. Gosh, I sure do love these guys.

(obviously this isn’t a dig at anyone who head canons gj as wine, there’s a difference between head canons and malicious retconning.)

hmm interesting mechanic for this chair. i guess since you can’t stuff it in your inventory you cant do the ‘look all over’ thing. but on the other hand, they REALLY wanted to impress you with that hidden blood.

Ema: [performs a blood test in 2 seconds] I didn’t get a match!

Well probably not in that time, babe

i have to commend them on the little cutscene though that was nice.

again, i guess Amara really liked emotionally stunted fuckwads

the devil horns are a bit much, though.

oh damn.

thats a nice ass pendant

...oh thats blood

well, it sets off the pink and gold quite nicely. and its a butterfly... seems like something Dahlia would wear

“speak of the devil...”

speak of the devil indeed. hiiiiiii sadmad... its been a while.

oh ok he didnt say anything

also i find it funny that apollos like “Wait!! wait!! damnit, after him!”

and then you just. go back into the talk menu with Ema. bit of a moment killer, there.

“why does everything have to be so difficult with you?”

cause hes a prosecutor, apollo. thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth

“the law is the law. placing personal feelings above it is beyond reprieve”

ah but placing religion above it is totally fine. gotcha yuts

“And the winner is... prosecutor Sahdmadi!”

helpful, athena

“it’s like he’s trying to cover something up with his pretty words!”

oh did you mean the inevitable reveal that he's actually a good guy and we have to forgive him for being a shitwad?

oh wow. that joke post about sadmad developing generalized anxiety was actually based on a legit thing that happened

is it ok if i hate him even more for it? i mean how did he figure it out? he didn’t let apollo use it in court so where would he have gained the knowledge? unless he knows about Thalassa’s abilities...

...also, how /is/ he doing this? the way Perceive works isn’t just “i can sense that you’re uncomfortable”, it’s that people who can use it have extremely good eye-sight and see tiny little movements in other people. If they’re smart about it, they can tell that the movements mean the enemy is lying. Apollo just happens to get tense when he notices this, most likely because he’s kind of straining his eyes.

But then again that brings up the fact that his power would act up CONSTANTLY, either because EVERYBODY FIDGETS, or Apollo himself could just be stressed and making the bracelet squeeze on its own.

So thanks, SOJ. Not content with ruining Apollo’s canon, you’ve also got to ruin his cool lawyer power. Gosh, you’re just the gift that keeps on giving, aren’t you?

“Powerless in the face of the Holy Mother’s blessings”

SOJ team is now nicknamed the Holy Mother. Or possibly the Unholy Mother.

“Looks like your power won’t work against Sadmadhi. Guess we’ll have to try something else.”

“Yeah, let’s ask Dhurke...”

Yeah. Because you obviously don’t have someone with you RIGHT NOW who ALSo has a special power. You dont even have TWO POEPLE with you with a special power. Guess we’d better talk to the man who birthed this shiteater.

“I won against Mr. Wright”

yeah in a completely rigged trial where losing would be the worst option. thats not really something to brag about, you know.

“...doomed to be reborn as something lower than a bug or a vegetable”

you heard it here first folks Sadmad hates sustaining agriculture and the bees.

>Lang’s scrolls and dickfuckery

>Edgeworth’s by-the-bookishness

>Franziska’s catchphrase

>Blackquill’s backstory twist

These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect prosecutor. But the SOJ writers accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: BAD WRITING

THUS UNINSPIRED ASSHOLE WAS BORN!

apollo you don’t matter to anyone anymore youre getting the boot. do as your foster pop said when you were a drowning 5 y/o and suck those pussy baby tears back into your skull.

welp thats it for part one of investigation day 2. now (i think) we’re headed over to the delicious pandering of Phoenix and Edgeworth, back together. Will it bring me solace despite being an obvious ratings grab?

good god, i hope so.

till next time.

#sulking over SOJ #im gonna do this; I'm gonna finish it. i swear.]

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