#sometimes i remember this website exists

[ruscapeh]

dummies

i didnt notice my honoroit misspelling fuck

[tenthdocter]

I'm having a little trip down memory lane tonight thinking about all the games I used to play in my childhood and it got me thinking about sky tv games for cartoons. (The ones you either pressed the red button to play or paid for through a sky game pass for the day). And I have to say why tf don't we still have them??

[ocaledonia]

one thing i dont think we talk enough about is how pretty much every sex ed resource for lesbian teens tells them they should be open to sex with male partners

i remember being 14/15 and googling how lesbian sex worked and just being confronted with site after site telling me that lesbian sex sometimes includes a penis and it was uninclusive and closed minded to think otherwise :)))

i guarantee you no girl or woman searching for lesbian sex ed resources is looking for advice on how to blow a guy or have piv intercourse, theyre looking for advice about sexual relationships between biologically female partners

i think people underestimate how ashamed and broken it made me and other lesbians feel to read that over and over. after reading those resources i felt so hopeless that i tried to force myself to be asexual because it was the only socially acceptable way to rule out having a male partner

constantly adding these ~helpful reminders~ is like telling lesbians that they just haven't met the right guy yet, and there is no context in which they should forget it

some of these were government affiliated websites insisting that exclusive homosexuality didnt exist, or at the very least that it was unthinkable and unpeakable

its a very impactful and insidious form of homophobia

[gguk-n]

What? How? (Max Verstappen x Reader)

Based off this request. I had put up a poll to decide the driver with a part 1 and thought this would be part 2 but I think that's like the preview/introduction and this is the main part!

Everyone grew up hearing about soulmate; from their family or friends or relatives. Most people looked forward to meeting their soulmate, some people wanted to defy fate and some people never got to meet their soulmate.

Max grew up believing that he wasn't deserving of love and thought he'd never meet his soulmate. But a small part of him hoped that, someone would come along and fall for him and be his person. He found himself dreaming of her. The mark on his wrist was a reminder of the soulmate he was yet to find. His sister had found her's and spoke in detail about what it was like to meet your soulmate. He would always end up talking to Victoria about the time she met her's and what it was like, something Max was embarrassed to admit.

In the time that Max had been at RedBull, he had never had issues with anyone. He did his best and gave the team the result he could. Him and his race engineer meshed well, bringing a lot of synergy to their collaboration until he got a new team mate, which some how also meant a new race engineer for said team mate. He saw Y/N for the first time at the start of his fourth year in Formula One. She was cheerful and bubbly and always wore a smile on her face. She spoke kindly to everyone and a part of Max would always gravitate towards her. He had silently hoped they would be friends since they were both perfectionist but it never happened. Y/N always kept to her work; she was assigned his team mate's garage.

It was in 2021, when Y/N got the bump up and became a race engineer for Sergio Perez, his new teammate. Max never knew he could argue with someone as much as he argued with Y/N. They were always at odds because somehow whatever she did was against him, it felt. The team could see daggers flying from across the hospitality at each race but let it go since they never did anything. Until those fights started escalating, from bickering to arguing to full on screaming matches in the hospitality, audible to anyone who could hear. Horner and Marko had tried to get them to resolve their issues but to no avail, it only made things worse.

Y/N thought she was a part of the soulmate less crew, "I'll register you with soulmatch" her mother told her. Soulmatch was an agency, a app or a website, which ever one you chose to help two soulmate less individuals get together and find companionship in each other. Her mother wanted her to start looking, Y/N couldn't careless since her job kept her busy and she was barely at home anyways. Y/N was a race engineer in Formula One; a job she worked tirelessly to achieve. It barely gave her any time to wonder where her soulmate was. She got to work with some of the most talented and smart people to make machinery that made the car go really fast. But now she was working with her driver, Sergio Perez to make sure the race went as smoothly as possible with the best result as possible; sometimes at the cost of the other driver. "Are you listening to me?" her mother's voice broke through her thoughts. "Yeah" she replied. "I'll let you know once you match with people" her mother stated before cutting the call.

Her parents were late bloomers themselves; having met each other in their late 20's and early 30's so she didn't understand the fuss her mother was making. She was in her prime and a soulmate would come along when he wanted to. Y/N travelled the world; if a soulmate existed, she would run into him eventually.

There were a lot of times you would wish someone was your soulmate and there were a lot of times you wished someone wasn't. For Y/N, it was Max Verstappen. She hated his guts; ever since she had become a race engineer, he had been a pain in the ass for as long as she could remember. He would start fights with her if she prioritised her driver, and honestly, who else would she prioritise. She had good strategies that would work in her driver's favour sometimes and he couldn't tolerate it. Starting fights and unnecessary arguments. The team was done with them, the paddock was done with them and the DTS crew always had so much fun.

At the start of 2022 season, the whole paddock and the world knew about Y/N and Max. The fans would laugh and joke about them being soulmates and the other drivers took the piss out of Max for having an engineer as an enemy. But, everyone knew about them. Everyone knew how much the pair hated each other and wouldn't even look at each other, if not to fight.

It was the Monaco weekend, the two of them had been at odds since FP1. Y/N tried to be calm and mature about it; she didn't want to cause issues for the team. Hence, she ignored any thing and everything he said. It was getting on his nerve; she was ignoring him and behaving extremely rudely to him. It all came to a head when the team finished P1 and P3 with Y/N's driver winning the race, street circuits were his thing and Y/N played to his advantage. You can already see the resentment and anger brewing as Max got out of the car. "Who does she think she is?" Max almost screamed at GP. "Calm down Max" GP tried to reason. But Max wasn't hearing anything.

During the post race interview, there were jabs being thrown but it was during On The Sofa; when Max said something, which he later realised he shouldn't have. But it was too late; Y/N was already there and a fight broke out. A lot of commotion, the media having a field day, Sergio and Carlos trying to get them to stop, their team trying to stop them and PR having a crisis. The crowd went silent as Y/N pulled her sleeve up to reveal her soulmate mark which matched Max's soulmate mark exactly; now visible due to the scuffle. A loud whisper broke out in the crowd, Y/N looking at him and then his mark as the pair tried to process what was happening. Over whelmed with emotions, Y/N stormed off, leaving the crowd but most of all her soulmate stunned.

Max walked out off the stage, shocked from the revelation. He found him self in his driver's room with no recollection of what had happened. He kept playing back to the moment when he saw Y/N's mark and wondered if things would be different. He wondered if she hated him because he was her soulmate. He wondered what it would be like to liked by his soulmate since the one he got hated his guts.

Y/N was reeling from the revelation; the man who was supposed to be her soulmate was also the man she hated the most, or did she dislike him? All of these thoughts and emotions swirled inside her as she wondered what just happened and how she had gone this long before finding out. Did he know? Did he hate her because he knew? What was going on and what was she supposed to do? She felt her world crash and her phone wouldn't stop ringing. She looked at the caller and it was her mum. "Congratulations darling" she bellowed. Y/N was confused, "I saw you found your soulmate" her mum said when she got no reply. "How did you find out?" she asked. "It's on the news, sweetheart" her mother stated. While Y/N was still reeling from the revelation, F1's social media accounts had already posted about the two sworn enemies actually being soulmates and how it was straight out of a fairytale. Y/N wanted to disappear. Why was this happening now? she wondered, exhausted from the events of the day.

Max was informed by his father that F1 had posted about the moment when Max and Y/N realised they were soulmates. Max was exasperated. He ran a hand through his hair, ready to rip a new one into the admin. As soon as he opened the door he found Y/N standing there. "Did you see?" she asked. Max just nodded shocked to see her. Y/N made her way into the room, trying to find a place to sit when Max gestured towards the sofa. Y/N sat down, "It's an invasion of privacy" she stated. Before Max could say anything, Horner burst into the room. "So happy to find the lovely pair" he bellowed and hugged Max. "You two will make the best couple" he smiled, clapping his hands. Y/N tried to get up to protest, "I've already asked the PR team to start on the media day and social media stuff. You two have to post and we'll start making new content" he stated. "No" Y/N objected. "I'm the one who pays your bills" Horner said before he turned around. "The PR team will email you two the schedule soon" he said exiting the room. Y/N's shoulder's slumped as she walked towards the door. "See you around" Max's voice came out, weakly.

The PR team had decided to make the two appear in pictures and tiktok challenges together, to show them being lovey dovey. The two of them treated it like a task, they would show up, film it and leave. Max could feel his heart ache, hoping Y/N would look at him with anything but disdain.

Y/N found herself questioning herself, if she even hated Max. She found herself staring at him during debriefs and interviews. She found herself learning his driving style. Max was going to win his second championship too and RedBull had planned for a huge spectacle. When Max won Suzuka; he got out of the car, happy even elated and ran to his team and GP. Y/N was stood there by RedBull's plan. Max hugged her first, he wrapped his arms around her and buried his head in her neck. Max felt tears prickle his eyes, he hadn't hugged her ever; her arms wrapped around him. When he pulled away, he saw tears in her eyes. "I like you Max. I'm so proud of you" she said. Max was shocked, this wasn't in the plan. "What?" he asked. "I like you Max Emilian Verstappen" she stated with tears streaming down her cheeks. "I...I like you too" he stated. "Let's talk after" he said pecking her cheek before being whisked away by their team.

After all the celebration, Max and Y/N were finally able to sit down and talk about the other day. "When?" Max asked. "I guess watching you" she muttered. "You?" she asked. "I don't think I ever didn't like you" Max stated. "I thought you hated me?" Y/N asked. "I didn't. I just thought you hated me" he replied, sheepishly. Y/N broke into a laugh. "We're so dumb" she continued laughing.

As time went on, the two of them grew closer with time. Max was able to stop RedBull from capitalising on their relationship. Y/N was still his team mate's Engineer and they still fought but Max would always kiss her to make everything better.

After the dominance in 2023, 2024 was tough on Max and Y/N too. They found them selves at an odd with the team, never themselves. Y/N would always reassure Max that he could do it, a fourth title was in his cards. "Schat, you are too optimistic" Max mumbled while cuddling her. "I'm realistic. I know Max Verstappen" she said. "Do you?" he smirked. She hummed tracing her fingers across his bare torso up to his chest, cupping his cheeks. "I'll marry you the day you win your fourth title" she said pressing their lips together. "No take backs" Max proposed pulling her on top of him. "Aren't you supposed to propose?" she giggled. "You wear the pants in this relationship" he said kissing her again.

As if Max got all the motivation he needed, he won his fourth title in Vegas. After the emotional team radio, "Y/N I hope you bought your dress because I'm marrying you in the next 2 hours" Y/N found herself smiling; there was chaos in the garage, their families were staring at her. "I told him I'd marry him the day he won his fourth title" she shrugged. Horner and Marko were trying to process the situation. But as soon as Max was done with all the formalities, Max staggered towards Y/N. "Never thought I'd marry you drunk" she laughed. "I'd marry you any way" he giggled.

They said their vows at a chapel in Las Vegas in front of their families and the other drivers. Y/N's parents were crying watching their daughter. Some how Max had planned it all, he had their family present, he flew her friends out; it was madness but in the best way possible.

At the end of the night, the two of them lay next to each other in their honeymoon suite. "I can't believe we got married in Vegas" Y/N said looking at Max. "I can't believe I married my enemy" he laughed. Y/N hit his chest playfully. "I love you Y/N" Max said now facing her. "I love you too Maxie" she replied. "You're stuck with me" he stated. "I've been stuck with you since I joined the team" she laughed.

Maybe the fact that your soulmate used to be your enemy doesn't seem so bad. Maybe enemies to lovers wasn't just reserved for YA novels. Maybe Y/N was happy, Max was her soulmate.

[friendlynaborhooddisapointment]

trying to write a oneshot where billy gets a phone (his neighbour in the condemned building he squats in gives it to him after she gets a new one) and then ends up starting a tictok account as Captain Marvel. he starts it cuz a tictok abt him got viral so he makes one to repy to it but then gets attached to the app a little (cuz he's like 12) and just continues to make them.

but suddenly i forgot about all tictok trends i could have him do . the only ones i remember are the "pass the phone to someone who" (gonna have him pass it to batman and then batman shits on him for filming a tictok in the watchtower) and the smash or pass cake. WHAT OTHER TRENDS CAN I HAVE THIS GUY DOOOO PLEASEEEEE.

things i want him to do with this acc:

when he sees ppl in shitty situations (abusive), he comments on them being like want me to beat them up for you? (? something along those lines)

dueting dance tictoks and failing really badly

making a video abt all the stray animals he visits (damian becomes an avid follower and fan after this one) and it becomes a series

an info dumb video about tigers

suspiciously helpful life hack videos that are sometimes borderline illegal

maybe a video where he goes around and interviews homeless people with stuff like hey whats ur favorite food? and supper mundane questions- want this to lead to a whole bunch of videos of Cap picking fights with people on the internet over the dignity and rights of homeless people

has a series of 'rate this parking lot' type videos but of different roof tops

Superman pissed him off so he starts a collection of interrupting and finishing Superman's fights for him (oh sorry was this your fight? rip ig u dont have to worry abt him now, see you later!) what did superman do? bro idk ill figure it out

a video taking abt the best websites to download music from for his mp3 player since a comment asks abt it when it shows up in a video (it becomes v obvious that he is broke as fuck in this video and thats all the comments focus on)

billy dueting with fanart and fan edits freaking out being like wow these r so cool!!! (he ignores all the gooner stuff eyes close do not see)

doing tictok dances with some of the homeless of facwet

ends up making a video on resources in facwet for homeless people (since some people ask for it) but they are all kinda unofficial or just survival tips, and also him dunking on some of the official ones that are kinda shady (weirdly personal advice for someone who is probably not homeless? is the vibe)

makes a video complaining abt how because of how popular it has become to pay with everything by card most people dont carry around change anymore, and because of that homeless people get a lot less money then they used too

videos where random citizens call out to him and ask questions or ask him to do random stuff (most of them start off with him about to do a video on something else then derails)

some of the JL ask to do join him on some of the tictoks so a few collabs wth them.

'how many times can i film batman without him noticing me' it gets to 2 because batman was to busy to tell him to stop both times. it ends with batman lecturing him on filming in the tower again

thats all i got for him to do. idk if i will actually write this so feel free to steal it to make your own fanfic (actually please do i hate writing). but i think it would be funny for this perceived adult to make half brainrot type content that feels weirdly natural. also the weird little hints he accidentally leaves abt his civilian life that is very concerning to everyone. no one can tell if he's a million years old or born yesterday lol.

also Captain Marvel and Superman beef pre identity reveal means everything to me. ALSO THE CAPTAIN CHILLING WITH THE HOMELESS AND BEING ACAB MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME and thats like half the reason why i want this to exist.

[askoverkill]

Is it just me or is anyone else experiencing phantom posts? I remember looking at a post where Lupus ate an orange but that disappeared and a new post which I couldn't read as it only existed as a notification. Please tell me I'm not going crazy!

// ok so this is an odd one

i DID post something but realized it didn't really finish the scene it was setting up, so i deleted it. i then ate lunch so i haven't had a chance to finish/ reupload.

//BUT i also experience the hidden posts thing???? i have this on a separate tumblr account and i just follow this and when i check it, sometimes a post will vanish for a while. same thing happens with asks sometimes. Bizarre broken ass website </3

[petermorwood]

Food on St Patrick's Day (in the USA)...

...is usually Corned Beef & Cabbage, which is the Irish-American version of the original Irish boiled bacon & cabbage, but while the celebratory Irishness is still going strong, try something a bit more authentic.

A nice warm coddle. Not cuddle, coddle, though just as comforting in its own way. (Some sources suggest it's a hangover cure, not that such a thing would ever be necessary at this time of year, oh dear me no.)

Coddle is a stew using potatoes, onions, bacon, sausages, stout-if-desired / stock-if-not, pepper, sage, thyme and Time.

You'll often see it called "Dublin Coddle", but my Mum made Lisburn Coddle lots of times, I've made West Wicklow Coddle more than once, and on one occasion in a Belgian holiday apartment I made Brugsekoddel, which is an OK spelling for something that doesn't exist in any cookbook.

*****

I do remember one amendment I made to Mum's recipe, which met with slight resistance at the time and great appreciation thereafter.

Her coddle was originally cooked on the stove-top, not in the oven, and nothing was pre-cooked. Potatoes were quartered, onions were sliced, bacon was cut into chunks and then everything went into the big iron casserole, then onto the slow back ring, and there it simmered Until Done.

However, the bacon was thick-cut back rashers, and the sausages were pork chipolatas.

Raw, they looked like this:

...and the bacon looked like this:

Cooked in the way Mum initially did, they looked pretty much the same afterwards. The sausages didn't change colour. Nor did the bacon.

While everything tasted fine, the meat parts always looked - to me, anyway - somewhat ... less than appealing. "Surgical appliance pink" is the kindest way to put it, and that's all I'm saying. This is apparently "white coddle" and Dubs can get quite defensive about This Is The Way It SHOULD Look.

I'm not a Dub, so I persuaded Mum to fry both the bacon and sausages first, just enough to get a bit of brown on, and wow! Improvement! I remember my Dad nodding in approval but - because he was Wise - not saying anything aloud until Mum gave it the green light as well.

Doing the coddle in the oven, first with lid on then with lid off, came later and met with equal approval. So did using only half of the onion raw and frying the other half lightly golden in the bacon fat.

Nobody quoted from a movie that wouldn't be made for another decade, but there was a definite feeling of...

*****

There are coddle recipes all over the Net: I've made sure that these are from Ireland to avoid the corned-beef-not-boiled-bacon "adjustment" versions which are definitely out there. I've already seen one with Bratwurst. Just wait, it'll be chorizo next.

Oh, hell's teeth, I was right. And from RTE...

Returning to relative normality, here's Donal Skehan's white coddle and his browned coddle with barley (I'm going to try that one).

Here's Dairina Allen's Frenchified with US measurements version. (I feel considerably less heretical now.)

And finally (OK, not Irish, but it references a couple of the previous ones and is a VERY comprehensive write-up, so gets a pass) Felicity Cloake's Perfect Dublin Coddle (perfect according to who, exactly...?) in The Guardian.

*****

Returning to the beginning, and how boiled bacon became corned beef (a question which prompted @dduane to start an entire website...!)

The traditional Irish meat animal for those who could afford it was the pig, but when Irish immigrants (even before the Great Famine) arrived in the USA, they often lived in the same urban districts as Jewish immigrants from Eastern Europe.

For fairly obvious reasons pork, bacon and other piggy products were unavailable in those districts, but salt beef was right there and far cheaper than any meat Irish immigrants had ever seen before.

Insist on tradition or eat what was easy to find? There'd have been contest - and do I sometimes wonder a bit if sauerkraut ever came close to replacing cabbage for the same reason.

The pre-Famine Irish palate liked sour tastes: a German (?) visitor to Ireland in the mid-1600s wrote about about what were called "the best-favoured peasantry in Europe", and mentioned that they had "seventy-several sour milks and creams*, and the sourer they be, the better they like them."

* Yogurt? Kefir? Skyr? Gosh...

Corned beef and Kraut as the immigrants' celebratory "Irish" meal for St Patrick's Day? Maybe, maybe not.

Time for "Immigrant Song" (with kittens).

*****

Corned beef got its name from the size of the salt grains with which the beef was prepared. They were usually bigger than kosher salt, like pinhead oats or even as large as grains of wheat, and their name derived originally from "corned (gun)powder", the large coarse grains used in cannon.

BTW, "corn" has been a generic English term for "grain" for centuries, and "but Europe didn't have corn" is an American mistake assuming the word refers to sweetcorn / maize, which it doesn't.

Lindsey Davis, author of the "Falco" series, had a couple of rants about it and other US-requested "corrections". As she points out, mistakes need corrected but "corn" is not a mistake, just a difference in vocabulary.

*****

In Ancient and Medieval Ireland pig would have included wild boar, the hunting of which was a suitable pastime for warriors and heroes, because Mr Boar took a very dim view of the whole proceeding and wasn't shy about showing it (see "wild boar" in my tags and learn more).

Cattle were for milk, butter, cream and little cattle; also wealth, status, and heroic displays in their theft, defence or recovery. It's no accident that THE great Irish epic is "The Cattle-Raid of Cooley" / Táin Bó Cúailnge (tawn / toyn boh cool-nyah).

Killing a cow for meat was ostentation on a level of lighting cigars with 100-, or even 500-, currency-unit notes. Once it had been cooked and eaten there'd be no more milk, butter, cream or little cattle from that source, so eating beef was showing off And Then Some.

Also, loaning a prize bull to run with someone else's heifers was a sign of great friendship or alliance, while refusing it might be an excuse for enmity or even war. IMO that's what Maeve of Connaught intended all along, picking undiplomatic envoys who would get drunk and shoot their mouths off so the loan was refused and she, insulted, would have an excuse to...

But I digress, as usual. Or again. Or still... :->

*****

For the most part, "pig" mean "domestic porker", and in later periods right up to the Famine, these animals were seldom eaten.

Instead, known as "the gentleman who pays the rent", the family pig ate kitchen scraps and rooted about for other foods, none of which the tenant had to grow or buy for them. These fattened pigs would go to market twice a year, and the money from their sale would literally pay that half-year's rent.

For wealthier (less poor?) farmers, pigs had another advantage. Calves arrived singly, lambs might be a pair, but piglets popped out by the dozen. A sow with (some of) her farrow was even commemorated on the old ha'penny coin...

What with bulls, chickens, hares, horses, hounds, pigs, salmon and stags, the pre-decimal Irish coinage is a good inspiration for some sort of fantasy currency.

But that's another post, for another day.

[notnights]

Back in 2011 there was a short lived Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl mobile app called "Vampire Puff Puff". It didn't last for long and I've been missing it ever since!

It was so cute, and was the first time Lenore and Ragamuffin (still voiced by Roman Dirge but had a slight change to his performance from my memory) had been voiced since the short animated 2002 series. But also the first time Pooty Applewater had been voiced too! It had incredible tunes too!

As the years passed I've wanted to see those short cutscenes again but I've never been able to find footage of them online. Awhile back I did see a youtube video that has since been removed of the first level, but Pooty doesn't appear until maybe the second to last level. (there were 10 in total if I'm remembering right, or maybe there was 5 and he was the pre-boss of the that 5th level) Most of these screenshots are from the earlier levels.

I'm really sad I can't find much evidence of this series existence online! All I have are these screens I saved from articles and other websites talking about it, and Kevin Haskin's music which actually is still up on itunes.

I actually only remembered it again because I came across an ad for it in one of my Lenore graphic volumes a couple of months ago:

Also turns out every now and then I just get fixated on finding stuff on this game again as I did ask Roman Dirge about this game back in 2019 on his now deleted facebook:

I did ask if he still had access to the art and voices but never got a response. I suppose I could try and ask again sometime.

If anyone has any or knows of any footage of this game I'd appreciate it if you sent it my way!

[pastorfutureletthembe]

X

I love the differences between LA!Lu Guang, Manhua!Lu Guang, Musical!Lu Guang, Mini!Lu Guang and Donghua!Lu Guang. I know this theory was proven wrong, but I like to think they all are the same person but from different timelines. It's always so fun to think that way, because it offers us new canon and headcanon for the characters.

My favorite game is to connect the dots. How would one version of this Lu Guang would become this other version of Lu Guang.

LA!Lu Guang being rich while others can barely afford instant noodles, for example. This one fact is so interesting, actually! The first dots between him and the others is that they often refer to Cheng Xiaoshi's debt as theirs. I wonder if after the first round, Lu Guang decided to give all of his money to Qiao Ling's family but it still was not enough. He still did it in the following timelines.

Or! Lu Guang being awkward when photographed? First, he's hot and only gets good feedback on their website. In asian culture, it is a real advantage to be beautiful. So I never get why he would be self-conscious to this point in the Minisodes. In Yingdu, he has no issue being under the spotlight, is very casual and apparently good at it. There also was this video on the official's account about our favorite trio taking pictures and he turned red. This isn't even a different media, it counts as Donghua!Lu Guang, which means all of these versions exist as canon. It's obvious by now that Lu Guang cannot say no to Cheng Xiaoshi, so it's possible that, going through the motion over and over, he would become a pro at playing a model. He's Cheng Xiaoshi's favorite model, after all.

One very personal one, is that Cheng Xiaoshi remembers Lu Guang as very critical. But he's actually very sweet; a true mother hen. Manhua!Lu Guang is so soft on him that it is truly heartwarming. It's sad, yes, but I wonder if the original Lu Guang was just as harsh and cruel as we see him at the beginning of the live action adaptation, but losing his one and true friend, he realized he could have done better. He would start to show him his good side more often.

Musical!Lu Guang is my favorite! They sometimes imply canon events or gestures from other media, but also their own old shows. The kiss scene on the couch in the encore for example lmao or the finale hug. They make it better and better. Lu Guang originally looked like he was not a part of their childish game. Nowadays, he barely seems annoyed and goes with the flow happily. He doesn't always resist the final embrace. I sure hope there is one version when he just jumps in Cheng Xiaoshi's arms.

[trainsinanime]

Is there a specific scientific term for what I'll call "harm construction", meaning "thinking of ways that something harms someone in order to condemn it"? There must be, right? I see it all the time and it's not new. Let me give some examples in random order.

One of the first cases where I really remember it was at least a decade ago, an online article by a British newspaper, about how an online store had put a pole dancing pole in their toys section. A bit of an embarrassing mistake but nothing more.

However, that article provided several quotes from a British couple who said they were very worried, because their kid could have seen that. It seems pretty clear that their kid did not, in fact, actually see it, but the newspaper treated their concern as if it was a genuine thing to worry about. It was utterly ridiculous.

A more recent example is a call-out ask I received a few months ago and, of course, immediately deleted, but it's still been living rent-free in my head since then, because it was so horribly bad. I'll not repeat the exact wording, but they were annoyed that their victim blog (which I don't follow and haven't for years, if ever, and they don't follow me) was annoying and sometimes said mean things. They very ineptly tried to explain that this might have been part of the reasons why someone else, completely unrelated, sent out hate messages to yet another person. That was the harm that was so big that it supposedly justified a targeted harassment campaign. (If you're the person who wrote that call-out ask, please rethink your life. You were only increasing the hate in the world, not making anything better. I suspect the sender wasn't anyone who actually follows me, but just in case).

The biggest and most prominent example of harm construction right now is of course all about trans people, bathrooms and school sports. Conservatives and TERFs alike need a reason to oppose the existence of trans people beyond "I personally find them weird", because saying that out loud gets them correctly branded as bigots. How do you turn "let's be really mean to a marginalised group" into a progressive cause? By saying that the existence of this group causes harm. The problem with that is that trans people existing does not actually cause any harm, it's literally fine.

So in an effort to construct harm after all, they have searched far and wide for something that trans people could even theoretically damage, and the only things they managed to come up with are "there might be someone with unexpected genitals behind that bathroom stall door" and "the sanctity of gender-segregated sports". If it weren't for their cultural and political power then it would almost be funny how little potential harm they managed to find and how much they have to amplify it. They're just another couple in the newspaper worried that their kid might potentially see a website.

If you look for it, harm construction is everywhere, because we all sort of agree on a surface level that dividing people into "normal, acceptable" and "weird, must be punished" isn't nice, but the instinct to punish people for being "weird" is still alive and well and many people refuse to question it.

At a completely different end, anytime someone uses the word "normalisation" about a fanfic on Ao3, that's another example. We all know making blorbos do weird things doesn't actually hurt anybody (assuming proper tagging and so on), but we still want to punish people who do it wrong. So we construct harm, by arguing that seeing something on Ao3 might "normalise" the thing and make it more likely that someone will do it in real life.

These examples are very different, at very different ends of almost all scales of power and cultural influence and meaning, but the core idea is always the same. So, yeah. There must be a better term for this.

[zeondraws]

ZEON THIS IS KU I JUST SENT YOU A MESSAGE ON THE WIKI DAN PINCHBECK UPLOADED THE ORIGINAL SWTD SCRIPT TO HIS WEBSITE AND IT HAS MORE ROGER DIALOGUE AND FULL NAMES FOR SOME OF THE CHARACTERS!!!

HELLO KU THANK YOU FOR THESE AMAZING NEWS EARLIER TODAY AAAAAA.

Okay Fellas, what basically happened today, was Ku found a script written by Dan Pinchbeck (former Studio Head/Creative Director and founder of TCR). This was apparently all back when the game was in Alpha and just before he left the studio in Spring 2023.

The cool thing about the script is that a lot of these lines can be found as audio files within the game. Some of these are shown in my Muir/Innes video. But finally having the proper CONTEXT to these lines brings them to a whole new level.

We also know the names of Finlay (Eileen) and Brodie (Albert). I am honestly bewildered that his name is Albert.

Interestingly there is a different spelling for McLeary in the script (McClery), which is also a cool small detail (Me going bananas over the smallest details in existence IHIUEDHLIUDHWLIUWS).

I'll leave a direct link to the word file down here and then I'll show a few screenshots and yap for a while!

Fair warning there is slight NSFW content in the script, some of which I'll show as screenshots down below.

Word file:

I was so happy when I saw that Roy is indeed called "MacNair" in the script, like omg so the name shown on the ingame door was correct!!

I am wheezing, the description of Roy someone help me-

And apparently Finlay is a welder!!! Like!!! Also she was a WRESTLER? She'd be yeeting everyone off the rig if someone breathed incorrectly. Mad respect.

Just a huge lore drop of Brodie my jaw is dropping.

Let's not forget the super interesting info of Caz and Suze:

I feel sorry for Suze, she's lost so much, but she's also a fighter. Crazy to think Caz's dad got him into boxing.

Rennick is... holy shit he let two divers die

Hearing how the control room is his domain and remembering Brodie saying "Roper's control room" make me think, dear god what was Rennick stirring up in there. I can imagine Roper must've been smoking much more to handle it, or rolling his eyes so much until they fall out.

Also I swear I am giggling at Scooby after reading some things in the script. And him being called "a total gobshite" LMAOO

I'm doing three backflips while reading this, heeeeeeeeeeeelp.

Two things that make me breath manually is additional dialouge of Roper and this man just has dad energy radiating from him.

Please just... look at this convo.. and Scooby is a fucking ballbag mates. What the fuck hahahah

It goes on for longer, but that's all I shall show for the post. Also Trots being called mum by O'Conner has me exhaling sharply BWAHAHAH.

Also the biggest mystery I have to figure out is Dunbar. If he is the pilot, why is there someone called Archie ingame? Or is that literally just Dunbar? Does that mean I need to merge their wiki pages and make a big text stating what the mystery is about. They call him Dobbar or Dobbie sometimes! This is getting even more confusing!

I see no Dobbie in the script, just Dunbar. So they probably replaced him with another character in that scene later on. I feel like this is a big rabbit hole I need to get my head around.

Also finally knowing and being able to vividly picture the old Marine Control scene makes me so happy. Just look at it!

I like how.. Roper is just pretending he can smoke ewodhweoid. Roper seems way more passive here and friendly. This poor wee lad stuck in a chair and just observing what is happening.

And apparently after this scene is when the Geological scene should've taken place? If I understood it correctly.

I need to stop myself from reading the entire script tonight, because I have therapy tomorrow and that pushes my sleep schedule. Screaming, crying, throwing hands in the air lemme reaaaaaaaaad.

There is more stuff I can yap about, like Dan was apparently in a podcast and talked about the Shape in further detail. I nEEEEDD to listen to that asap.

And I also need to edit Roper's wiki page tomorrow. The silly guyyyy

Okay I won't say more now!! Go and dive into the script and yap about the details!!! We are EATING good this week Fellas.

.

.

.

Also fuck you Rennick, I now have context to one of the audio files but also he was def supposed to eat Muir in a previous version-

[femsolid]

Sometimes I answer to someone commenting on a post of mine and they respond with the most idiotic and out of touch response and I'm like oh yeah, there are men on this website I forgot. I just keep assuming I'm talking with women so I expect a meaningful exchange with intelligent arguments and advices and keep getting shocked by weird sociopathic responses that make me remember that men exist. It's the tone, the writing as if their feelings are facts, the systematic gaslighting, the over-explaining because they assume you know less than they do, this baby tyrant attitude, just looking around distributing judgement and imaginary punishments, the victim blaming and the overused talking points we've heard our entire lives because their personalities are interchangeable. Robots. That's what it feels like. Like talking to a robot. Genuinely. I feel like my intelligence is being insulted just reading their mediocre thoughts and opinions. And they have thoughts and opinions about everything don't they? Blah blah blah. Beep beep beep. Someone pulls the plugs on those robots for goodness sake.

[gguk-n]

would you consider doing a prompt in which the MLs have the same soulmate marks but they are enemies? you can choose the driver and the logistics i would love to see a fic like this by youu

Thank you for the ask!!

I had this in my inbox for so long bc I'm indecisive and I couldn't choose who to write it for, so there's a poll to choose. There will be a part 2. Full story is up!!

What? How?

Everyone grew up hearing about soulmate; from their family or friends or relatives. Most people looked forward to meeting their soulmate, some people wanted to defy fate and some people never got to meet their soulmate.

Y/N thought she was a part of the soulmate less crew, "I'll register you with soulmatch" her mother told her. Soulmatch was an agency, a app or a website, which ever one you chose to help two soulmate less individuals get together and find companionship in each other. Her mother wanted her to start looking, Y/N couldn't careless since her job kept her busy and she was barely at home anyways. Y/N was a race engineer in Formula One; a job she worked tirelessly to achieve. It barely gave her any time to wonder where her soulmate was. She got to work with some of the most talented and smart people to make machinery that made the car go really fast. But now she was working with her driver to make sure the race went as smoothly as possible with the best result as possible; sometimes at the cost of the other driver. "Are you listening to me?" her mother's voice broke through her thoughts. "Yeah" she replied. "I'll let you know once you match with people" her mother stated before cutting the call.

Her parents were late bloomers themselves; meeting each other in their late 20's and early 30's so she didn't understand the fuss her mother was making. She was in her prime and a soulmate would come along when he wanted to. Y/N travelled the world; if a soulmate existed, she would run into him eventually.

There were a lot of times you would wish someone was your soulmate and there were a lot of times you wished someone wasn't. For Y/N, it was her driver's teammate. She hated his guts; ever since she had joined, he had been a pain in the ass for as long as she could remember. He would start fights with her if she prioritised her driver, and honestly, who else would she prioritise. She had good strategies that would work in her driver's favour sometimes and he couldn't tolerate it. Starting fights and unnecessary arguments. The team was done with them, the paddock was done with them and the DTS crew always had so much fun.

It was any other race weekend, the two of them had been at odds since FP1. Y/N tried to be calm and mature about it; she didn't want to cause issues for the team. Hence, she ignored any thing and everything he said. It was getting on his nerve; she was ignoring him and behaving extremely rudely to him. It all came to a head when the team finished P1 and P3 with Y/N's driver winning the race. You can already imagine the resentment brewing as he got out of the car.

During the post race interview, there were jabs being thrown but it was during On The Sofa; he said something, he later realised he shouldn't have. But it was too late; Y/N was already there and a fight broke out. A lot of commotion, the media having a field day, the P1 and P2 driver trying to get them to stop, their team trying to stop them and PR having a crisis. The crowd went silent as Y/N pulled her sleeve up to reveal her soulmate mark which matched the her enemies's soulmate mark exactly; now visible due to the scuffle. A loud whisper broke out in the crowd, Y/N looking at him and then his mark as the pair tried to process what was happening. Over whelmed with emotions, Y/N stormed off, leaving the crowd but most of all her soulmate stunned.

Y/N was reeling from the revelation; the man who was supposed to be her soulmate was also the man she hated the most, or did she dislike him? All of these thoughts and emotions swirled inside her as she wondered what just happened and how she had gone this long before finding out. Did he know? Did he hate her because he knew? What was going on and what was she supposed to do? She felt her world crash and her phone wouldn't stop ringing. She looked at the caller and it was her mum. "Congratulations darling" she bellowed. Y/N was confused, "I saw you found your soulmate" her mum said when she got no reply. "How did you find out?" she asked. "It's on the news, sweetheart" her mother stated. While Y/N was still reeling from the revelation, F1's social media accounts had already posted about the two sworn enemies actually being soulmates and how it was straight out of a fairytale. Y/N wanted to disappear. Why was this happening now? she wondered, exhausted from the events of the day.

[girlballs]

sometimes i think im being annoying but then i remember the kinds of people that exist on this website & have actively spent time harassing my mutuals and it's like. at least I'm not a transmisogynist theyfab 4chan reject that pretends to be Progressive

[maxillo]

I need desperate help locating a website/world building project I saw years ago but forgot the name of and haven't been able to locate it since, if it even still exists. It was a huge inspiration for me and my work when I saw it several years ago (2019-2020 ish?)

These are the details I remember:

- Its main premise was documenting a vast number of cryptic and often dangerous worm-like entities with sharp pointed faces and large eyes, loosely inspired by Pokémon

- Each creature was categorized under the four temperaments (melancholic, sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic) that determined their general personality

- The world was post-apocalyptic, and the humans left were split between ordinary individuals and those who had special different interactions with these creatures

- Each creature had various really specific behaviors and effects on their surroundings, sometimes operating on equally specific intervals of time: one I distinctly remember was a creature that would increase the amount of water in your body if you approached too closely for too long(?)

- Most creatures have very long names and tended to have similar letters/endings like Digimon

If you have any idea of what Im talking about PLEEEAAAAASE hit me up I've been dying to track down this website again for years

[ausp-ice]

Ipsivivere (Ipsi), they/she/he, Edeia of Ipsivival: the process or result of rediscovering life and being saved from oneself, whether alone or with the help of others.

Edeia Site | Edeia Discord | Personal Website

Warnings: Ipsi's character deals in topics of suicide, depression, and other aspects of mental health. Their story also involves human trafficking, abuse, and sexual assault/abuse.

Ipsivivere

"I am Ipsivivere, Edeia of Ipsivival. You can call me Ipsi if you want. My Idea entails the process of someone being saved from themself, whether on their own or with help — of overcoming what might seem to be an indomitable depression or self-destruction and coming to appreciate their existence. Still, it can be hard for those in the most terrible places to overcome their personal hells, so I do what I can to help them. I do not always succeed… but for those who I can see ipsivive, it is worth it. After all, I, too, was once in that place."

Ipsi is a deeply emotional and empathetic individual. They have a great amount of love and affection to share with others, though it can take time for them to develop deep personal attachments. Their kindness and wish to soothe others' hurts will often act as the transitioning elements for the deep bonds they (and their Eidolons) form with others. 

They are deeply moved to see others ipsivive, and they mourn and shed tears for those who could not escape their self-destruction. Ipsi can exhaust themself by giving so much of themself to others, leading to them spending long spans of time napping or otherwise resting in their main body. They also attend "therapy" sessions with Edeia such as Mu and Pacific, who help them process their experiences. 

Ipsi's Eidolons share Ipsi's core personality, though some may diverge over time. 

Ipsivivere's Eidolons

Ipsi is able to make fragments of themself, which are referred to as their Eidolons, with the intention of helping others ipsivive. The Eidolons begin as shimmering specks of dust shed from Ipsi's wings as they wander. These specks are drawn to those who are in terrible, depressive, self-destructive states; the specks resonate with those individuals and take a form crafted for the sake of helping these individuals. The Eidolons could appear to be humans, animals, other species, imaginary friends — whatever Ipsi's instinct deems is most suitable. Their bodies may seem biological and can grow and be injured, but they are functionally immortal — they will not die of age, and they can heal from all injuries with time. Most of Ipsi's Eidolons exist at the same time as them, though there are occasions where the specks are drawn to someone in the past and manage to slip through time to form an Eidolon in the past. Those who Ipsi's Eidolons are crafted for can be referred to as Ipsi's ipsivivors. 

Ipsi's Eidolons operate mostly independently, with varying levels of connection to Ipsi's main body and their other Eidolons. They only gain awareness after taking form, and many do not quite remember that they originate from Ipsi. For the Eidolons that do not remember their origin, the longer they exist, the more their awareness blends with the whole of Ipsi, allowing them to share subconscious memories — that is, they might not be aware of what the other Eidolons and main body are doing, but if they think about it, they can "recall" what the others are doing. The consciousnesses of Ipsi's Eidolons are in general very much distant and easy for Ipsi to ignore, but Ipsi can focus on particular Eidolons to access their memories and experiences.

The goal of the Eidolons is usually to get the ipsivivor to be able to stand on their own, though they do not always succeed. Sometimes, despite the efforts of Ipsi and their Eidolons, their ipsivivor becomes dependent on them, can't bear to let them go, or can never fully heal and overcome themself. In these cases, Ipsi's Eidolon will stay beside them and try to support them so they can be high-functioning together, if not apart. 

Usually, once the ipsivivor has been able to ipsivive and live for themself, the Eidolon will become fully connected to the whole existence of Ipsi. Some Eidolons who have developed their own rich lives may try to deny the connection; they would not be able to deny it entirely, but they can choose to live fairly independently from Ispi. The Eidolon will usually try to explain the situation to their ipsivivor and offer to stay longer if needed, but if the ipsivivor is truly ready to let go of the Eidolon, then the Eidolon will return to Ipsi and integrate into Ipsi's subconscious memory. 

If the Eidolon fails to help their ipsivivor, then the Eidolon is generally very distraught. They might linger for a while, but they eventually fade and return to Ipsi as a subconscious memory. Sometimes, Ipsi takes time to go through them and mourn those they couldn't help ipsivive.

Other Abilities

Resilience

Ipsi can improve the mental resilience of others, bolstering their will to keep moving forward, to work towards improving themselves and their circumstances, to not give up. Those affected by this ability will have improved mental stability and tolerance towards difficulties in their life, and see a reduction in negative and maladaptive thoughts. Ipsi can focus the ability at a high intensity, but the effect would only be temporary. Their Eidolons exude a weak aura of this effect that allows for gradual but lasting improvements in the subject's resilience alongside their personal self-improvement. 

Weaving Wounds

Ipsi can heal others' physical wounds and soothe their mental and emotional pains. 

Their Eidolons have a much weaker form of this power; they can induce minor healing or transfer injuries to themselves. Though it can be painful, the Eidolons will heal from any injury with time. 

Life Link

This ability is generally only used by Ipsi's Eidolons. An Eidolon can establish a life link to their ipsivivor. This causes the Eidolon and the ipsivivor to share all pain and injuries, and it makes them both functionally immortal — no matter how severe the injury, both the Eidolon and the ipsivivor will heal with enough time. 

Not all Eidolons form a life link with their ipsivivors. Some do so as a mark of closeness, while others do so out of worry, wanting to monitor their ipsivivor's health and keep them from death. The link can be rejected by the ipsivivor if they learn how to feel the metaphysical nature of the bond, which can take some practice.

Gaze into the Abyss

Ipsi (and to a weaker extent, their Eidolons) can sense the hardships of others. They can understand the pain others experience and gather at least a vague sense of the nature of their struggles. They are most aware of active pains, with those who are currently struggling greatly being quite prominent in their senses, but they can also focus on individuals and gain a sense of what struggles they've had in the past, whether they were buried or overcome. 

Abstraction

Ipsi's Abstraction consists of a temple made of marble with subtle gold veins, with light like sunlight pouring from past the pillars. There is a central hallway with a ceiling open to a light blue sky with gold celestial patterns—circles, lines, and arcs. A staircase leads to a gazebo-like room with cascading silk ribbons surrounding a pool that reflects the celestial firmament above, where Ipsi might stay to hibernate for longer periods of time in a cocoon-like form. When Ipsi is not resting in the pool, gazing into it can reveal glimpses of the perspectives of Ipsi's Eidolons. 

When one approaches the sides of the central hallway, the sunny light becomes less intense to reveal a portal like a surface of water. These portals lead to various locations, including a grassy meadow, an underwater reef, an endless mirror lake, and more. 

Ipsi welcomes visitors to their Abstraction, but only by invitation—they prefer not to have unexpected visits. Some Eidolon-ipsivivor pairs also live within Ipsi's Abstraction, though not many. 

Story

As a reminder, Ipsi's story involves themes of human trafficking, suicide, depression, abuse, and sexual assault/abuse.

Synopsis

Ipsi, born as Ilya in 1998, manifested magic at age 10 during a time when magic was becoming more than just a rumor but not confirmed by any authorities. Their parents often argued, though they didn't understand what they were arguing about; after their parents discovered their magic, Ilya was betrayed and sold to a human trafficking ring specializing in magical individuals. Purchased by a wealthy corporation owner, Ilya was soon given to the owner's son, Verin, after the owner lost interest. The two escaped together in 2018, starting a new life in a changing world. However, their relationship became abusive, with Verin growing controlling and forceful. Ilya's mental health deteriorated and they became more isolated, leading to several suicide attempts.

After Verin's accidental death in 2025, Eien, Edeia of the Lost, took the deeply depressed Ilya to a Sanctuary for the Lost. There, Ilya slowly began to heal by helping others. They developed the ability to manifest in others' dreams and assist those struggling with self-destruction. By 2031, Ilya had recovered enough to return to society, continuing their education and refining their purpose. Upon meeting someone they had helped in a dream, Ilya realized their true calling was to aid others in self-revival and healing, Actualizing into Ipsivivere, Edeia of Ipsivival.

Full Story

Part 1: Taken 1998-2018

Ipsi was a human known as Ilya born in 1998, growing up with the transition from the Age of Secrecy to the Age of Reunion. Their home life was fairly normal, as far as they knew—though they were vaguely aware that their financial situation wasn't ideal and their parents would often be in conflict. Ilya would often hide to wait for the metaphorical storm to pass. However, things changed when they manifested magic when they were ten years old. Though they didn't quite understand what was happening, they felt a sense of safety from their magic; things were better for some time until their parents discovered their magic. 

Ilya's parents were surprised at the discovery, though after exchanging a look with each other, were quick to assure Ilya that there was some discussion going on about how magic actually exists in this world—there were various sightings and rumors, far too many to be a coincidence these days. Still, they told Ilya to try to keep it hidden in public while they asked details about what they could do. 

After the discovery, Ilya's parents didn't argue for a while, though they were often found discussing things together. After several months, however, there was an explosive argument that had Ilya hiding away again. Once it had quieted down, Ilya's mother came to hug and soothe Ilya, apologizing that they were like this. 

The next day, Ilya woke up with a terrible grogginess in an unfamiliar place. They later discovered that their parents had sold them. They were in the hands of a relatively new human trafficking ring that formed after its members confirmed the existence of magical individuals. Their methods were rather messy and they did not fully understand the nature of magic, but they did understand that some of the exorbitantly wealthy would be willing to pay exorbitant sums of money to have a piece of magic for themselves.

The ring would collapse before long, due to their ignorance of magic and Edeiology—even before the authorities got to them. Still, it lasted long enough to sell Ilya to some filthy rich owner of a corporation. 

Ilya's abilities were weak and not very dramatic, and their "owner" quickly grew bored of them, though they would still torment them psychologically and physically every now and then. Instead, they told Ilya to be the plaything of their son Verin, who was only a few years older than Ilya. Verin was quite nice to Ilya, treating them as a human being… though still one of much lower status than him. The two spent great amounts of time together, and Ilya found comfort in his presence despite the circumstances. Verin, too, grew greatly attached to Ilya. As they grew older, Verin understood that Ilya's situation was truly horrible and asked if Ilya wanted to run away with him. Ilya was unsure at first, but eventually agreed. 

Part 2: Limerence 2018-2025

Verin thus rebelled from his family, taking Ilya and whatever he could to escape to one of the cities at the heart of the transition to the Age of Reunion. With everything in flux, it was easy for them to join the chaos. Verin and Ilya were able to acquire some affordable housing, resources for living, and access to jobs and schooling. Verin took on various jobs to help with the transition efforts while Ilya attended school, though they faced difficulties due to being much older than their academic peers. 

Their life seemed to be going as well as it could be, though things began to shift as they became proper adults. Verin professed his love for Ilya and took them to bed; the whole experience was confusing and painful for Ilya, but Verin was the one who was warm to them amidst the worst cold—he had left behind his family and privilege for their sake, and they didn't know how they could refuse him. Years passed, with Verin becoming more insistent, more forceful, more entitled. He faced his own struggles adjusting to a life different from that of the upper crust, and he often took out his frustration on Ilya before apologizing and soothing them. 

When Ilya tried to resist him and suggested that things might be better if they went their separate ways, Verin became much worse. He took them to bed even when they were unwilling, making them exhausted and in pain almost every day. Ilya's younger peers didn't quite understand what was wrong, and though their instructors expressed some concerns, Ilya was reluctant to confide in them due to their experiences with authority figures. 

Eventually, Ilya became so exhausted that they couldn't muster the energy to leave. Verin suggested that they change to taking courses online, and, resigned, Ilya agreed. Things only grew worse from there, now that Ilya was isolated from others. They became entrenched in a depression that had been growing in them for a long time; their online courses were neglected in favor of sleeping their days away. 

Something shifted one day, and Ilya reached a breaking point. They swallowed all the medications in their home and slit their wrists, trying to end their life—only to fail when Verin returned home to find them and send them to the hospital. When Ilya recovered, Verin expressed immense regret. He tried to comfort them and told them that he would do better. However, everything was meaningless at that point—Ilya couldn't feel any more of that attempted comfort. They just felt hollow. 

Ilya made a few more half-hearted attempts, but Verin started hiding all the dangerous items and kept them from leaving alone. Ilya was confined in a soft prison of their home. Ilya lived as a shell of themself like that for some time. Then, at one point, Verin disappeared. Several days passed, and then Ilya received a call—Verin had passed away, caught up in some accident. Ilya didn't know what they felt, then. Sadness? Relief? Maybe it was just a hollow exhaustion, after seven years of their cohabitation. They ended up curled in bed for days, drifting in and out of consciousness, not eating anything. 

Part 3: Sanctuary of the Lost 2025-2034

Then, Eien appeared. He arrived in Ilya's untidy home, sensing that they were lost. He offered to take them away to a place where the lost could heal in peace—a Sanctuary that overlapped with his domain. However, Ilya was not particularly responsive. They simply stared at him, and did not agree or disagree. Eien felt sorrow for Ilya and lifted them into his arms, enveloping them in a comforting presence. It was a strange feeling, for Ilya had not truly felt comfort for a long time. 

Ilya fell asleep like that, waking up in the Sanctuary with Eien by their side, patiently waiting for them to awaken. He explained more about the Sanctuary and himself; he had brought Ilya to a Sanctuary for the Lost, where those lost to themselves could recover, or perhaps to find themselves along the way. Other people and Edeia might come by for company as well. Ilya simply listened without saying anything. 

Eien lingered for longer before letting Ilya know that he would be leaving. Then, Ilya was alone. They spent several months wandering and familiarizing themself with the space, observing the settlements where people lived from afar. They were never cold and never hungry, and they could not hurt themself if they tried. It was peaceful, but Ilya still felt lost and empty, and still slept the days away. Perhaps it was another sort of cage. 

Then, Ilya saw the arrival of another lost individual—a fairly young one. They watched for a while before deciding to approach, offering a little information and assistance. Unexpectedly, that child grew attached to them. Ilya was reluctant to be relied on and tried to distance themself, though around that time Eien came to visit and the two spoke. Eien seemed pleased that they were doing better, and suggested that sometimes those who are lost are the ones who can help each other be found. Ilya thought about it for some time, and decided that they wanted to be gentle, at least, in this world of terrible things. 

Over time, they saw with their own eyes that child slowly learning to live again. They found themself struck with a strange emotion at seeing them heal. How wonderful, that someone can rise from the depths of their own personal hells and embrace the world. The mere thought brought Ilya to tears. 

Something shifted in Ilya, then. From then on, Ilya began to dream in the long naps they would take. Though they did not know it, they were entering the dreams of those caught in their own cycles of self-destruction, offering what little guidance, reassurance, or whatever they could give in those dreams. More often than not, they woke with tears in their eyes, and only hazy recollections of what occurred. There were times they would cry for hours, mourning the loss of someone they couldn't quite remember, and yet... there was something cathartic about it all. 

Over time, the dreams became more vivid, and Ilya began remembering them more clearly in their waking hours. They became aware that they were not just sharing dreams with others, but sometimes even manifesting as ghostly forms accompanying other individuals. They felt a bit worried about their power, and awkwardly approached Thaene, who was visiting at the time. Thaene helped talk through their experiences and offered advice about their powers; he even offered to monitor them for some time. They grew closer as Ilya accepted Thaene's comforting gestures after some more difficult situations.

Ilya soon realized that they were, in fact, doing better. By helping others save themselves, they, too, were saved in some ways. They spent more time awake and were willing—eager, even, sometimes—to interact with others. The next time Eien came by, they told him that they wanted to return to society. Some of the people in the Sanctuary helped Ilya with the process of moving and acclimating to life in reunited society; it was in the 2031 by then, and much had changed.

Ilya still had their share of struggles, but was able to live independently and do fairly well in society while continuing to help others in their dreams. They continued their education, attending Ideation Academy to finally complete their basic education and learn various other skills and languages. During this time, they mused over their Idea, contemplating making a new word for it. Though they did not settle on ipsivival yet, it was an option they were considering. 

One day, they encountered someone that they'd only met in a dream so far. The two talk, with that person thanking Ilya for offering the hand they needed to pull themself out of their own abyss. Ilya was struck by a tangle of emotions, then. Joy, satisfaction, realization. This is what they wanted the meaning of their existence to be: the process of self-revival, of healing from terrible places within one's self, over overcoming a pain so profound that it becomes self-inflicted. 

At that moment, they became Ipsivivere, Edeia of Ipsivival.

Part 4: Ipsivival 2038-present

After their Actualization, Ipsi retained most of their memories. Despite the pain of their past, they felt that it was an important part of who they had become. They spent some time familiarizing themself with their new, more powerful abilities. Though they had Actualized, they did not want to abandon those they were helping in their dreams before; they soon manifested the ability to create Eidolons, and they created one for each of those they were helping before. They realized, too, that as an Edeia, their power was much more vast than before. There was so much more they could do, so many people they could try to help, whether they succeed or not. From then on, they began wandering the world, scattering flecks of their power that could become Eidolons in time. 

It was not all easy, but it was worth it. Ipsi expressed their existence as Ipsivival to the fullest.