#sometimes i remember this website exists
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i didnt notice my honoroit misspelling fuck
#sometimes i remember this website exists#ffxiv#art#my art#sicard spence#emmanellain de fortemps#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#based on a king of the hill scene
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I'm having a little trip down memory lane tonight thinking about all the games I used to play in my childhood and it got me thinking about sky tv games for cartoons. (The ones you either pressed the red button to play or paid for through a sky game pass for the day). And I have to say why tf don't we still have them??
#i mean it's cause all the cartoons i grew up watching aren't even on tv anymore#but still#you should still be able to play them somehow#also reminded myself of the cool doctor who games there used to be on the bbc website#i remember going to internet cafes when i was a kid to play them lol#also just remembered that miniclip game still exist#my favourite was raft wars back in the day#might play it again sometime#growing up in early 2000's really was the best time to be a kid you know#ngl i used to beg my mum for a sky games pass all the time lol#never actually ever completed any of the games tho#oh and the cartoon network website used to have some banging games too
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I’ve noticed that people are very bad at seeing gray. Very, very bad. They’ll see gray and they’ll call it something else, anything but what it is
#🔭.txt#milliliters of peaceful sleep#this is a post about my eye color. this is also a post about me. and about others. and about the world#black and white thinking runs deep and i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t guilty of it too#but like. gray exists. grey exists. it’s a lovely color. it’s not dull or boring but also sometimes it is. nothing wrong with that#nothing is ever only good or only bad. if you’re not doing well that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing badly#i’ve been gray for a very long time and people don’t believe me when i say that’s what i am#people would rather i be something stark and high-contrast. something dramatic. something easily spotted and easily classified#if you’re not burning brightly they assume you’re slowly consumed by darkness#if you’re not at rock bottom they’ll either dismiss you entirely or confidently tell you why you are at the bottom#they might even force you to sink just so that they could have the honor of pulling you out#but it’s not so simple. actually it is so simple. but it’s the wrong kind of simple#i’ve been gray for a very long time. i can’t remember ever being anything else. i might lighten or darken but not by much#there’s not a roaring fire lighting me from within but that doesn’t mean i’m not burning at all#inside me is a small flame that will never go out#dim and obscured by smoke#if it starts to falter i put my hands around it and shield it from the wind#if it grows i step back to not be singed but the wind eventually restores balance#i don’t have episodes and the seasons never change. i’ve been gray for a very long time and i’ll be gray forever and that’s just how it is#i’ve accepted it. you should accept it too#also stop saying my eyes are green. they’re not#do people even know what green eyes are? do i? honestly no#but mine are clearly gray. i don’t know what else you could be seeing#you guys are really bad at colors. go back to elementary school#people on this website are also always like ‘omg i love complex morally gray characters’#and then as soon as they see a complex and/or morally gray character they freak out and try shoving them in a box#it’s ridiculous. stop that. the writer did not put all this effort into characterization for you to throw it away like that#and just in general people are bad at understanding that other people are people too despite their good/bad actions#dehumanization is yet another stepping stone for you to feel like the only person in the world. like the main character of your own life#also people don’t know what persistent depressive disorder is and it’s frustrating. no one gets it. i feel stupid for complaining
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i am okay tho i just have momeys sometimrs . please do not ever worry abt me guys
#i rly rly rly appreciate any asks u guys send me truly i usually hold onto then bc i dont know how to respond and rheyre good to see#sometimes#but im not in any danger i rly am. safe. i have a lot of things keeping me from doing That so. i am safe. dw.#i just get sad a lot. and its my fault i need 2 judt stop it and suck it uo and Work on it all but its so. insurmountable. and it judt#doesnt get easier yk. it never does. whatsver.#but. anyways i am safe i am okif it got to the point i was like. fearful for my life thatd either be The delusion (which is actually good#for me i cant explain it but its good for me) or i coulf talk to my family abt it and theyd help#i just cant talk to them abt This. stuff. the like. the being broken stuff and just not being right#i cant talk to any of them abt that. but if i said hey im genuinely faarful i miggjt do something they would um. help. so its okay#idk. i hope the posts dont seem like i make them for pity i rly dont this blog is just my stream of consciousness#ik i just shouldnt post them and i should judtkeeo a diary but i dont um. how to explain thid#even if nobody sees it it feels better to make a tumblr post bc then it feels like. a performance i guess. its not its real but its like#if i put it somewhere other ppl can see it then that means i exist. thats not quite right but i dont know how to articulate like#i dont nexessarily want ppl to see them i find it embarassing i guess. but it feels dishonest to not post them#since i post everything else. bc i like being open online it makes me think im real. does that make sense#and there are timestamps so i know when things happen. thsts modtly how i remember things#is looking at my blog and checking dates and timestamps. and for older stuff i have to check my dms with ykw. which. is not good for.me at#all. but ihave no other way to remember dayes#i dont know. im rly sry i hate podting vents but i dont like deleting posts eithrr so j dont know oike. idk.#just idk know they arent like. They are serious they are how i feel and i usually make them ehen im in distress#but its not dangerous distress i judt get hopeless. yk? i dont wanr anybody to worry abt me ever im not supposed to be a burden#i dont knoe. i havent articulated anything well. basicallt i dont do rhem for attention i dont do them for like. guilttripping or pity#i dont rly do them for any reason other than irs pure word vomit. i suppose. and tumblr is my wordvomit website. i judt get on here and yap#and it makes me feel so much worse but i get better eventually so its fine.
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Genuine observation, no sass and no disrespect, but being someone who is chronically OFFline & an active volunteer/activist for over a decade, and seeing what people say is "crucial discourse" online is... Quite the trip, honestly.
#vee vibrates#I understand that some things are more important to others than they are to me but.#I really need people to understand that sometimes you're better off volunteering at a shelter of ANY kind if you want to commit real change.#Online advocacy is crucial but man am I worried as hell for the kids that don't seem to understand that offline is even moreso.#And being disabled + queer myself I know that it can (and often is) a safety and accessibility issue but zoouniverse.org exists.#That website where you solve history and math quizzes to give rice to impovrished families is online.#Just. Anything that puts this aggressive “”advocacy“” to rest. Ego will be the death of us and we don't need anymore of it.#And if anybody reads this and finds themselves getting upset ask yourself this: Why does this upset me? Do I see myself in this?#Because you'd know that I am speaking out of genuine desperation when I say all of this.#I am not any better than any online activist just because I do a lot of work offline.#I am just so fucking tired of seeing people misdirect their rightful frustrations and fall further prey to the elites' divisive desires.#Is it so much to ask of you all to finally be angry at those who truly make our lives miserable? Or are we just going to keep playing cop?#At the end of the day it's your choice. I cannot force you. However you will grow old one day and look back. Remember that.#I for one don't want to have any regrets about any time I wasted on bigots and trolls and people who have already decided on their opinions.#I want to look back and be grateful for the opportunity to help so many people as many helped me in my direst times of need.#I think that's the difference here. A lot of online folk didn't go through the poverty & severe abuse & bigotry I faced since I was born.#I went through hell and came out kinder in the end because I was at the end of the proverbial whip myself at several points before 16.#But trauma doesn't make you compassionate. You choose to be. And I choose to never repeat the cycle.#The day I do is the day I've lost both my mind and my spirit. I will never repeat my family's & abusers' horrific mistakes.#I will be kinder to a world that needs kindness now more than ever. Even if I scream my throat out forever doing so.#I don't need a voice to be heard.#Anyways sorry. I woke up on the desparate side of the bed. Thank you to all who fight the good fight.#Despite everything I've said I have so much more faith and hope now more than ever. We will prevail.#And thank you if you read all of these tags?? Safety love and solidarity to you you're the MVP. ;_; 💜
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Yeah like what’s the point of even having anon features if they can’t use your website?????? Like on certain blogs I can’t even view them without being blocked????? I don’t understand????
And I can’t talk to people if they don’t have a submission box which is awkward because not many people have a submission box that I can see! -🌟
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well the blog thing is most likely that some people have set it to not be visible outside the tumblr dashboard; some people just don’t want their blog viewable to anyone outside of tumblr and there’s a number of reasons why that could be, it’s their own personal decision
the submission/ask box thing can sometimes be a case i know of new users forgetting to turn it on, but sometimes too its deliberately turned off (or limited, like anons being turned off and only other users can ask qs) for, again, a number of different reasons (︶︿︶)
#submission#i forgot to answer this one sorry#the askbox being disabled entirely now if you dont have an acc is so so shitty tho ugh#also cause in general asks are the more popular thing i dont really know too many people who even remember the submission box exists#maybe ive been here too long. idk not that long but even before having an acc i was familiar w/ how the site worked and memes and such#i def get the frustration but there are valid reasons why some people limit who can contact them/view their stuff#that also being said though it is really shitty that modern internetscape basically forces you to make accs you might never use just to#view things or save images or whatever. in some cases i definitely do get why they do that#but like for newspaper sites lets say thats really fcking annoying. can i not know wtf is happening without paying up so much bruh#this is also a random nitpick but i HATE the new tumblr.com/(blogname) compared to the old (blogname).tumblr.com#ik new users might have no idea that you are able to turn that off and get ur own custom domain. but like its so annoying how this is forced#they butchered the link sharing stuff too its fucking hell if i wanna send tumblr links on mobile now. so annoying ugh#if anything age of website managements fcking shit up when it was fine before and legit nobody asked for change. its just like that sometime#sorry for randomly ranting and kinda negative vibes??? ill get to the playlist thing later again sorry its taking a while 😭#star anon ollie
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Look if there's one thing, just one thing, that I wish everyone understood about archiving, it's this:
We can always decide later that we don't need something we archived.
Like, if we archive a website that's full of THE WORST STUFF, like it turns out it's borderline illegal bot-made spam art, we can delete it. Gone.
We can also chose not to curate. You can make a list of the 100 Best Fanfic and just quietly not link to or mention the 20,000 RPFs of bigoted youtubers eating each other. No problem!
We can also make things not publicly available. This happens surprisingly often: like, sometimes there'll be a YouTube channel of alt-right bigotry that gets taken down by YouTube, but someone gives a copy to the internet archive, and they don't make it publicly available. Because it might be useful for researchers, and eventually historians, it's kept. But putting it online for everyone to see? That's just be propaganda for their bigotry. So it's hidden, for now. You can ask to see it, but you need a reason.
And we can say all these things, we can chose to delete it later, we can not curate it, we can hide it from public view... But we only have these options BECAUSE we archived it.
If we didn't archive it, we have no options. It is gone. I'm focusing on the negative here, but think about the positive side:
What if it turns out something we thought was junk turns out to be amazing new art?
What if something we thought of as pointless and not worth curating turns out to be influential?
What if something turns out to be of vital historical importance, the key that is used to solve a great mystery, the Rosetta stone for an era?
All of those things are great... If we archived it when we could.
Because this is an asymmetric problem:
If we archived it and it turns out it's not useful, we can delete.
If we didn't archive it and it turns out it is useful, OOPS!
You can't unlose something that's been lost. It's gone. This is a one way trip, it's already fallen off the cliff. Your only hope is that you're wrong about it being lost, and there is actually still a copy somewhere. If it's truly lost, your only option is to build a time machine.
And this has happened! There are things lost, so many of them that we know of, and many more we don't know of. There are BOOKS OF THE BIBLE referenced in the canon that simply do not exist anymore. Like, Paul says to go read his letter to the Laodiceans, and what did that letter say? We don't know. It's gone.
The most celebrated playwright in the English tradition has plays that are just gone. You want to perform or watch Love's Labours Won? TOO FUCKING BAD.
Want to watch Lon Cheyney's London After Midnight, a mystery-horror silent film from 1927? TOO BAD. The MGM vault burnt down in 1965 and the last known copy went up in smoke.
If something still exists, if it still is kept somewhere, there is always an opportunity to decide if it's worthy of being remembered. It can still be recognized for its merits, for its impact, for its importance, or just what it says about the time and culture and people who made it, and what they believed and thought and did. It can still be a useful part of history, even if we decide it's a horrible thing, a bigoted mess, a terrible piece of art. We have the opportunity to do all that.
If it's lost... We are out of options. All we can do is research it from how it affected other things. There's a lot of great books and plays and films and shows that we only know of because other contemporary sources talked about them so much. We're trying to figure out what it was and what it did, from tracing the shadow it cast on the rest of culture.
This is why archivists get anxious whenever people say "this thing is bad and should not be preserved". Because, yeah, maybe they're right. Maybe we'll look back and decide "yeah, that is worthless and we shouldn't waste the hard drive or warehouse space on it".
But if they're wrong, and we listen to them, and don't archive... We don't get a second chance at this. And archivists have been bitten too many times by talk of "we don't need copies, the original studio has the masters!" (it burnt down), or "this isn't worth preserving, it's just some damn silly fad" (the fad turned out to be the first steps of a cultural revolution), or "this media is degenerate/illegal/immoral" (it turns out those saying that were bigots and history doesn't agree with their assessment).
So we archive what we can. We can always decide later if it doesn't need preserving. And being a responsible archivist often means preserving things but not making them publicly available, or being selective in what you archive (I back up a lot of old computer hard drives. Often they have personal photos and emails and banking information! That doesn't get saved).
But it's not really a good idea to be making quality or moral judgements of what you archive. Because maybe you're right, maybe a decade or two later you'll decide this didn't need to be saved. And you'll have the freedom to make that choice. But if you didn't archive it, and decide a decade later you were wrong... It's just gone now. You failed.
Because at the end of the day I'd rather look at an archive and see it includes 10,000 things I think are worthless trash, than look at an archive of on the "best things" and know that there are some things that simply cannot be included. Maybe they were better, but can't be considered as one of the best... Because they're just gone. No one has read them, no one has been able to read them.
We have a long history of losing things. The least we can do going forward is to try and avoid losing more. And leave it up to history to decide if what we saved was worth it.
My dream is for a future where critics can look at stuff made in the present and go "all of this was shit. Useless, badly made, bigoted, horrible. Don't waste your time on it!"
Because that's infinitely better than the future where all they can do is go "we don't know of this was any good... It was probably important? We just don't know. It's gone. And it's never coming back"
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Food on St Patrick's Day (in the USA)...
...is usually Corned Beef & Cabbage, which is the Irish-American version of the original Irish boiled bacon & cabbage, but while the celebratory Irishness is still going strong, try something a bit more authentic.
A nice warm coddle. Not cuddle, coddle, though just as comforting in its own way. (Some sources suggest it's a hangover cure, not that such a thing would ever be necessary at this time of year, oh dear me no.)
Coddle is a stew using potatoes, onions, bacon, sausages, stout-if-desired / stock-if-not, pepper, sage, thyme and Time.
You'll often see it called "Dublin Coddle", but my Mum made Lisburn Coddle lots of times, I've made West Wicklow Coddle more than once, and on one occasion in a Belgian holiday apartment I made Brugsekoddel, which is an OK spelling for something that doesn't exist in any cookbook.
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I do remember one amendment I made to Mum's recipe, which met with slight resistance at the time and great appreciation thereafter.
Her coddle was originally cooked on the stove-top, not in the oven, and nothing was pre-cooked. Potatoes were quartered, onions were sliced, bacon was cut into chunks and then everything went into the big iron casserole, then onto the slow back ring, and there it simmered Until Done.
However, the bacon was thick-cut back rashers, and the sausages were pork chipolatas.
Raw, they looked like this:
...and the bacon looked like this:
Cooked in the way Mum initially did, they looked pretty much the same afterwards. The sausages didn't change colour. Nor did the bacon.
While everything tasted fine, the meat parts always looked - to me, anyway - somewhat ... less than appealing. "Surgical appliance pink" is the kindest way to put it, and that's all I'm saying. This is apparently "white coddle" and Dubs can get quite defensive about This Is The Way It SHOULD Look.
I'm not a Dub, so I persuaded Mum to fry both the bacon and sausages first, just enough to get a bit of brown on, and wow! Improvement! I remember my Dad nodding in approval but - because he was Wise - not saying anything aloud until Mum gave it the green light as well.
Doing the coddle in the oven, first with lid on then with lid off, came later and met with equal approval. So did using only half of the onion raw and frying the other half lightly golden in the bacon fat.
Nobody quoted from a movie that wouldn't be made for another decade, but there was a definite feeling of...
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There are coddle recipes all over the Net: I've made sure that these are from Ireland to avoid the corned-beef-not-boiled-bacon "adjustment" versions which are definitely out there. I've already seen one with Bratwurst. Just wait, it'll be chorizo next.
Oh, hell's teeth, I was right. And from RTE...
Returning to relative normality, here's Donal Skehan's white coddle and his browned coddle with barley (I'm going to try that one).
Here's Dairina Allen's Frenchified with US measurements version. (I feel considerably less heretical now.)
And finally (OK, not Irish, but it references a couple of the previous ones and is a VERY comprehensive write-up, so gets a pass) Felicity Cloake's Perfect Dublin Coddle (perfect according to who, exactly...?) in The Guardian.
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Returning to the beginning, and how boiled bacon became corned beef (a question which prompted @dduane to start an entire website...!)
The traditional Irish meat animal for those who could afford it was the pig, but when Irish immigrants (even before the Great Famine) arrived in the USA, they often lived in the same urban districts as Jewish immigrants from Eastern Europe.
For fairly obvious reasons pork, bacon and other piggy products were unavailable in those districts, but salt beef was right there and far cheaper than any meat Irish immigrants had ever seen before.
Insist on tradition or eat what was easy to find? There'd have been contest - and do I sometimes wonder a bit if sauerkraut ever came close to replacing cabbage for the same reason.
The pre-Famine Irish palate liked sour tastes: a German (?) visitor to Ireland in the mid-1600s wrote about about what were called "the best-favoured peasantry in Europe", and mentioned that they had "seventy-several sour milks and creams*, and the sourer they be, the better they like them."
* Yogurt? Kefir? Skyr? Gosh...
Corned beef and Kraut as the immigrants' celebratory "Irish" meal for St Patrick's Day? Maybe, maybe not.
Time for "Immigrant Song" (with kittens).
youtube
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Corned beef got its name from the size of the salt grains with which the beef was prepared. They were usually bigger than kosher salt, like pinhead oats or even as large as grains of wheat, and their name derived originally from "corned (gun)powder", the large coarse grains used in cannon.
BTW, "corn" has been a generic English term for "grain" for centuries, and "but Europe didn't have corn" is an American mistake assuming the word refers to sweetcorn / maize, which it doesn't.
Lindsey Davis, author of the "Falco" series, had a couple of rants about it and other US-requested "corrections". As she points out, mistakes need corrected but "corn" is not a mistake, just a difference in vocabulary.
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In Ancient and Medieval Ireland pig would have included wild boar, the hunting of which was a suitable pastime for warriors and heroes, because Mr Boar took a very dim view of the whole proceeding and wasn't shy about showing it (see "wild boar" in my tags and learn more).
Cattle were for milk, butter, cream and little cattle; also wealth, status, and heroic displays in their theft, defence or recovery. It's no accident that THE great Irish epic is "The Cattle-Raid of Cooley" / Táin Bó Cúailnge (tawn / toyn boh cool-nyah).
Killing a cow for meat was ostentation on a level of lighting cigars with 100-, or even 500-, currency-unit notes. Once it had been cooked and eaten there'd be no more milk, butter, cream or little cattle from that source, so eating beef was showing off And Then Some.
Also, loaning a prize bull to run with someone else's heifers was a sign of great friendship or alliance, while refusing it might be an excuse for enmity or even war. IMO that's what Maeve of Connaught intended all along, picking undiplomatic envoys who would get drunk and shoot their mouths off so the loan was refused and she, insulted, would have an excuse to...
But I digress, as usual. Or again. Or still... :->
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For the most part, "pig" mean "domestic porker", and in later periods right up to the Famine, these animals were seldom eaten.
Instead, known as "the gentleman who pays the rent", the family pig ate kitchen scraps and rooted about for other foods, none of which the tenant had to grow or buy for them. These fattened pigs would go to market twice a year, and the money from their sale would literally pay that half-year's rent.
For wealthier (less poor?) farmers, pigs had another advantage. Calves arrived singly, lambs might be a pair, but piglets popped out by the dozen. A sow with (some of) her farrow was even commemorated on the old ha'penny coin...
What with bulls, chickens, hares, horses, hounds, pigs, salmon and stags, the pre-decimal Irish coinage is a good inspiration for some sort of fantasy currency.
But that's another post, for another day.
#food and drink#St Patrick's Day#Irish cuisine#Dublin coddle#corned beef or boiled bacon#pigs and cattle in Ireland#The Cattle Raid of Cooley#Youtube
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Sometimes I answer to someone commenting on a post of mine and they respond with the most idiotic and out of touch response and I'm like oh yeah, there are men on this website I forgot. I just keep assuming I'm talking with women so I expect a meaningful exchange with intelligent arguments and advices and keep getting shocked by weird sociopathic responses that make me remember that men exist. It's the tone, the writing as if their feelings are facts, the systematic gaslighting, the over-explaining because they assume you know less than they do, this baby tyrant attitude, just looking around distributing judgement and imaginary punishments, the victim blaming and the overused talking points we've heard our entire lives because their personalities are interchangeable. Robots. That's what it feels like. Like talking to a robot. Genuinely. I feel like my intelligence is being insulted just reading their mediocre thoughts and opinions. And they have thoughts and opinions about everything don't they? Blah blah blah. Beep beep beep. Someone pulls the plugs on those robots for goodness sake.
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Like what's funny is that none of the people criticizing the categorization of Stardew/AC/other “cozy” games are saying that those games are Evil and Bad and you should Stop Playing Them, in fact many of the people commenting on it do actually Like those games, they're just critiquing how the entire concept that makes these games work is that they hinge on the ideology of imperialist and colonist “cottagecore”-type ideals in order to maintain that “coziness” or “wholesomeness.” Which is an entirely valid criticism to make, and is just a true statement to make about the marketing of those games.
It isn't even discourse. They're not saying to boycott the games or anything. It's saying "You can play these games and that doesn't make you a bad person, it doesn't even make the creator a bad person, but you should examine the biases you have that cause you to think this way, and consider that this type of marketing IS insidious to those of us who are directly affected by the very same 'marketing' (propaganda) that lead to the colonization of our homes."
But over and over again people will read posts about this, sometimes posts in which "no I'm not 'canceling' the game & I'm not saying you're a bad person & I'm not just discoursing; I am just pointing out a Fact because I want people to actually Think about it" is stated EXPLICITLY, and I will still see people responding or vaguing about it like "oh people are trying to cancel Stardew Valley & Animal Crossing now!" or "Are you saying I'm a bad person for playing those games? Are those games bad now???" like the point just completely going over their head despite it being right in front of them. And it's like please read posts entirely before commenting, and stop projecting your personal worldviews and thought processes and values onto other people.
Also remember that people on this website exist who do not live in North America or Europe, because we are actually not the center of the world and the only people on tumblr. People outside of the imperial core who are more directly affected by these things and are more likely to notice them BECAUSE of their own life experiences are active on tumblr and make posts you see every day, and they do not have the exact same worldview that you do. So you just really need to stop assuming things and putting words in people's mouths, and just take what they say in better faith without leaping to extremes and lecturing them.
#txt#I literally LIKE Stardew Valley but these are just facts & valid criticisms to make.#Liking media doesn't make you evil incarnate. People are just saying like hey it would be nice if people thought about this more.
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Is there a specific scientific term for what I'll call "harm construction", meaning "thinking of ways that something harms someone in order to condemn it"? There must be, right? I see it all the time and it's not new. Let me give some examples in random order.
One of the first cases where I really remember it was at least a decade ago, an online article by a British newspaper, about how an online store had put a pole dancing pole in their toys section. A bit of an embarrassing mistake but nothing more.
However, that article provided several quotes from a British couple who said they were very worried, because their kid could have seen that. It seems pretty clear that their kid did not, in fact, actually see it, but the newspaper treated their concern as if it was a genuine thing to worry about. It was utterly ridiculous.
A more recent example is a call-out ask I received a few months ago and, of course, immediately deleted, but it's still been living rent-free in my head since then, because it was so horribly bad. I'll not repeat the exact wording, but they were annoyed that their victim blog (which I don't follow and haven't for years, if ever, and they don't follow me) was annoying and sometimes said mean things. They very ineptly tried to explain that this might have been part of the reasons why someone else, completely unrelated, sent out hate messages to yet another person. That was the harm that was so big that it supposedly justified a targeted harassment campaign. (If you're the person who wrote that call-out ask, please rethink your life. You were only increasing the hate in the world, not making anything better. I suspect the sender wasn't anyone who actually follows me, but just in case).
The biggest and most prominent example of harm construction right now is of course all about trans people, bathrooms and school sports. Conservatives and TERFs alike need a reason to oppose the existence of trans people beyond "I personally find them weird", because saying that out loud gets them correctly branded as bigots. How do you turn "let's be really mean to a marginalised group" into a progressive cause? By saying that the existence of this group causes harm. The problem with that is that trans people existing does not actually cause any harm, it's literally fine.
So in an effort to construct harm after all, they have searched far and wide for something that trans people could even theoretically damage, and the only things they managed to come up with are "there might be someone with unexpected genitals behind that bathroom stall door" and "the sanctity of gender-segregated sports". If it weren't for their cultural and political power then it would almost be funny how little potential harm they managed to find and how much they have to amplify it. They're just another couple in the newspaper worried that their kid might potentially see a website.
If you look for it, harm construction is everywhere, because we all sort of agree on a surface level that dividing people into "normal, acceptable" and "weird, must be punished" isn't nice, but the instinct to punish people for being "weird" is still alive and well and many people refuse to question it.
At a completely different end, anytime someone uses the word "normalisation" about a fanfic on Ao3, that's another example. We all know making blorbos do weird things doesn't actually hurt anybody (assuming proper tagging and so on), but we still want to punish people who do it wrong. So we construct harm, by arguing that seeing something on Ao3 might "normalise" the thing and make it more likely that someone will do it in real life.
These examples are very different, at very different ends of almost all scales of power and cultural influence and meaning, but the core idea is always the same. So, yeah. There must be a better term for this.
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can't remember the last time i made a blog post on this blog. i really am becoming the hermit i always aspired to be.
looking for somewhere to put this particular exhaustion though and journaling makes me feel lonely and lately all interpersonal interactions leave me with the feeling of having transgressed in many secret ways unknown to me. so vent follows. although for the record someday when i am a true hermit i will have found inner peace, and i will no longer make posts like this, and i instead will be able to identify a cypress tree on sight.
for now, i've been having this feeling of kneeling in the surf with my mouth open and the ocean trying to force itself down my throat. i'm working four jobs to make ends meet. they are meeting, barely. my 16-year-old car broke down for the last time, and this week i bought a new one from a man at a dealership who lied to me over the phone about hidden fees as though $900 meant nothing. now i have new car payments every month but i no longer hear a steady drip behind me in the car when it rains, can't decide which of the two feelings of dread is more potent. i loved that leaking car into its grave. i often wish i had a soul-crushing 9-to-5 that paid me $75,000 every year like clockwork. i am spreading myself too thin socially. i love everybody in my life. sometimes i receive profound and beautiful reactions to my writing, and also with four clicks i can see criticism of my work online that makes me feel like i should never have been born. i struggle to weight these experiences in a reasonable way in my mind. i have not read a new book since sally rooney's intermezzo. i hate everything i write but luckily the hatred comes in cycles, counterbalanced by defiant love, like my relationship with my forehead. i have to believe everything i write is the one (the one that will financially or artistically save me). i have to tell myself the one doesn't exist so as not to get my hopes up. i have to remind myself my problems are atomically small compared to nearly everything. i have to remind myself of this because sometimes it's the only thing that makes me feel human again. i have dreams about friends i had in high school and the shitty jokes i made to them, how much more sensitive i could have been. in the dreams they hate me, or forgive me, or hit me. last april at age 28 i began to have back pain every single night from a degenerated spinal disc and now at age 30 i have anti-arthritis pills in my toiletries bag. it hurts to lean back in a chair, but i have all my limbs and my mind. i wonder every day why i'm not doing something differently. my inability to do anything meaningful disgusts me. i find meaning whenever i open the blinds. i have forgotten to switch my car insurance to my new vehicle, so after i press Post Now i will go to the website that will ask me for my password and to confirm i am myself.
#personal#they say nothing good comes of being online after 1 a.m. but you know what?#i feel better letting this out#it never fucking stops#every day is an unending howl of information
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Rottmnt Fakeposting part 3
Find parts 1 and 2 here + 3.5 + 4 because this couldn’t all fit on one post
🍏holy-sewer-apples Follow
I met a little green alien dude once. Wonder if he’s doing okay
1,578 notes
🕜has-lou-jitsu-been-found-yet Follow
Day 3679 of me posting: no
🎃scared-of-crows-deactivated23902741 Follow
Get a hobby
🛸atomiclass9000 Follow
I will out your search history
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☄️gravity-tumbles Follow
Every time I phone in sick, I think about that one kid who came into school bright green. Must’ve been ill as hell. I could never
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🐝noneofyourbeezwax Follow
Sasquatch this kappacrawler that. There’s only one cryptid I care about and that’s my neighbour’s cat. That thing ain’t a cat. It’s bright yellow and it stares into my soul
🚫nonononope Follow
That’s normal cat behaviour
🐝noneofyourbeezwax Follow
DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE I SAID BRIGHT YELLOW
🐝noneofyourbeezwax Follow
No I don’t have any pictures. Stop asking. Damn not-cat keeps vanishing into thin air
🫂glompglomp Follow
Tf is a kappacrawler
🐺wendigo-watcher Follow
Local New York conspiracy. Scuttles around sewers, on roofs, steals your children (maybe)
🐝noneofyourbeezwax Follow
This ain’t about him
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🧚pixipartched Follow
I really really feel bad for asking, but I don’t have much of a choice. Aliens squished by home. Here’s a link to my go fund me here
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💀outoftouchoutoftime Follow
Last time I had this many people following me, it was an ambush
#I don’t know what I did but hi
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🏒 HOCKEYORDEATH Follow
EVERY WEBSITE I VISIT ASKS IF I ACCEPT COOKIES
🏒 HOCKEYORDEATH Follow
NO I DO NOT
🏒 HOCKEYORDEATH Follow
BEGONE. KEEP YOUR SUBPAR BAKED GOODS TO YOURSELF
🌽 sherlock_corn Follow
>:(
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🛸atomiclass9000 Follow
My driver’s license is a two year winning streak in Mario kart. Try arresting me now
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
Oh???? So you lie to your followers???? I know I won first place last games night and you know it
🛸atomiclass9000 Follow
You cheated
🌽 sherlock_corn Follow
Says the guy who hacks games as a pastime. I still want a rematch
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
You tell him corn
🌽 sherlock_corn Follow
Oh I know you’re not innocent either mr
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🚂imatrainwreck Follow
If only there was a way to grow instant luscious locks
🐙massages-at-a-price Follow
I can help with that
#hehe
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🛸atomiclass9000 Follow
Throwback to that one time my brother was mistaken as IT when trying to return someone’s keys
🥊 red_hotsoup Follow
I was just trying to help
#they fell down the drain #so I picked them up and pushed them back through the grate #I wasn’t trying to be scary #and should you really be posting this
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cyyyynamon said: I’m going cave diving tomorrow. Will I see you there?
💀outoftouchoutoftime Follow
But you didn’t invite me?
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⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
Don’t send me back to jail. I’m too pretty
🥊 red_hotsoup Follow
What have you done now
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
I was too pretty ✨
🛸atomiclass9000 Follow
Be original, Blue
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💀outoftouchoutoftime Follow
First day of school. I’ve never seen this many people in one area before
🌽 sherlock_corn Follow
Oh the joys of public school.
⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
*Wipes tear* they grow up so fast
💀outoftouchoutoftime Follow
So apparently normal people don’t chirp. I never want to hold a conversation ever again
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🕵️♀️sloopersleuth Follow
Yoooooo what if our mysterious superheroes in rainbow know the kappacrawler??? You think they’re buddies? Think they hang out and chill and talk about how their week has been? Think kappacrawler house sits from them sometimes? Think they share birthday cards?
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🎽tink-tank-toe Follow
Sometimes I wonder if time travellers really exist. Are we all just on some divergent timeline? How close a shave have we come to a world obsolete?
🛶canoodleoodle Follow
#posts that keep me up at night
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🎨asprinkleofrazzmatazz Follow
Remember to spread the positivity ✨☀️ Kindness can go a long way
🛸atomiclass9000 Follow
Where was this kindness when it came to the last pizza slice?
🎨asprinkleofrazzmatazz Follow
I was already at my daily kindness quota
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🔎detective-cornstarch Follow
It has occurred to me not everyone on this website knows about the kappacrawler
🔎detective-cornstarch Follow
Your loss
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🦷sleeptooth Follow
#i am curious
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🫨shake-it-away Follow
Oh kappacrawler, take me away
🫨shake-it-away Follow
Oh kappacrawler, whisk me away into the night
🫨shake-it-away Follow
Oh kappacrawler kidnap me
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🍮fastest-flanalive Follow
Stop with these he/him pronouns for the kappacrawler. Did you ask them their preferred pronouns????? No. Kappacrawler could be a very fancy lady
🐈meown Follow
I’m very sorry kappacrawler. You can be a fancy lady if you want :(
🍯honeyhoneysugar Follow
Have we been misgendering kappacrawler with whole time?
😐restingsnitchface Follow
It’s a cryptid. You think it’ll care about gender?
7,335 notes
🐸frippityfroppity Follow
If I was a kappacrawler where would I hide
🍾snopop Follow
In your walls
2,756 notes
🫣flinx-blinx Follow
I thought there was only one kappacrawler. But I swear I just saw two. Is there a mr and mrs kappa??? Baby kappletts??? A whole kappa family 🥹🥹
😈my-dad-is-satan Follow
Maybe? I think there’s at least three
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🐒nightmonkey Follow
Who is this kappa??? Why is he crawling???
🐒nightmonkey Follow
Spider-man wannabe
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🦜petite-parakeet Follow
Still convinced that whole invasion thing was a hoax. Elaborate, but a hoax
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🪄meet-my-nunchucks Follow
Were those aliens sent packing? I’m confused
🪄meet-my-nunchucks Follow
Are they at home? On some faraway planet? Kicking their tentacles up after a long day at work invading our planet?
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💗love-duv Follow
5,008 notes
📖myfixoffic Follow
Guys come read my slenderman x kappacrawler fic here for all of your slenderkappa needs
🌑faded-moonlight Follow
Why would you write this?
📖myfixoffic Follow
Why not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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⚔️ bluejitsu Follow
I heard that kappacrawler has an 8-pack. That the kappacrawler is shredded
🛸atomiclass9000 Follow
Be original, Blue (tally: II)
312 notes
👻ghost-chase Follow
Why can’t I live in New York. I want to fight aliens too
👻ghost-chase Follow
1,864 notes
#Rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#Rottmnt fic#socmed#fakeposting#casey jr#rottmnt leo#rottmnt cassandra jones#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt raph#Yes this was very much inspired by ‘turtleman’. But you can’t convince me these boys haven’t been spotted somewhere along the line#bread fic#Rottmnt movie#surprise surprise I’m back for more#rottmnt casey jr#social media#rottmnt social media au
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while high last night i decided to bully the new facebook AI assistant by asking it to calculate how many words the beatles have ever written across their complete discography. the resulting interaction was so unexpectedly interesting to me that i just really want to share it here.
(full disclosure: while not high, i did try to do a little digging to verify whether meta's AI was trained in the same shitty way that the chatGPT AI was, i.e., through broad scraping of information without any regard for copyright or other intellectual property rights, and was modestly reassured that there are more licensing agreements in place between meta and IP sources. i do wonder just how heavily they're leaning on the 'fair use' provision of copyright law to justify some of what they're doing, but tl;dr it looks like they have learned from chatGPT's high profile mistakes and are trying not to replicate them.)
anyway, here's how it went:
me: can you calculate the total number of words in every beatles song ever written?
meta AI: I can't calculate the total number of words in every Beatles song ever written, but I can tell you that there are 186 songs in total by the Beatles ¹. You can use an online lyrics website, such as Genius, MetroLyrics or AZLyrics, to count the words in each song and calculate the total number of words in every Beatles song ever written. [link to Bing search results included]
me: but i'm tired 😞
meta AI: I understand! Counting the words in every Beatles song would be a massive task. It's estimated that the Beatles have written over 250,000 words in their songs. If you're feeling tired, you can always try breaking the task down into smaller chunks, like counting the words in one album at a time. Alternatively, you could try searching online for a pre-existing count or estimate. Some fans or researchers may have already done the work for you! Get some rest, and maybe tackle the task when you're feeling more energized!
me: what if i say please
meta AI: Please is a magic word!
Alright, I'll try to help you with that. However, please note that it's a complex task, and I might not be able to give you an exact count. But I can try to provide an estimate based on available data and sources.
According to various sources, including lyrics websites and Beatles fan communities, the estimated total word count for all Beatles songs is around 250,000 to 300,000 words.
Here's a rough breakdown:
- John Lennon wrote around 80,000 to 100,000 words
- Paul McCartney wrote around 80,000 to 100,000 words
- George Harrison wrote around 30,000 to 40,000 words
- Ringo Starr wrote around 1,000 to 2,000 words (he wrote fewer songs than the others)
Keep in mind that these are rough estimates and may not be entirely accurate. But I hope this gives you an idea of the total word count for all Beatles songs!
me: wow! thank you so much! [can't believe i thanked the AI here, but whatever, weed had the wheel ok]
meta AI: You're welcome! It was my pleasure to help. I hope you found the estimate helpful. The Beatles have an incredible legacy, and their music has brought joy to so many people around the world. If you have any more questions or need help with anything else, feel free to ask! And remember, "All you need is love..."
anyway, congratulations to me personally for politely bullying an AI to do more work than it initially claimed it was capable of doing. sometimes saying please will actually make the computer do the thing 👍
#ray.txt#meta ai#oops c/p'd one of the quotes twice#fixed it#anyway this is peak weed girl with adhd behaviour and i am fine with it
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hi i noticed you haven't been posting in a bit, this is not a pressure post i just hope ur okay and u realise how much i (we) love your presence on tumblr (please do NOT feel any pressure to return!! this is not that kind of ask!!)
please take care of yourself horseimagebarn <3
hello dear friend i forgot this account and also tumblr the application slash website existed for a minute because i do that sometimes but i remember now maybe i should hope
my apologies for vanishing without warning i got crazy busy i got promoted at my job which is crazy and also must undergo that strange torture called college even during the summer but soon i shall be moving in with my girlfriend and our lovely cat and fish and also obtaining some strange time traveling creature that i am told is a dog so i will hopefully have more time in such a tranquil environment surrounded by those i love so that i might to dedicate more of that precious time to horses which i have not forgotten about in the slightest despite my negligence here at the horseimagebarn
i pray you and all of my horsers here have fared well in my absence and continue to do so and i love you
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now i’m kinda curious to hear what you think of proshipping.. if you don’t mind of course
I'll share my thoughts, and if theres anything I say that doesnt make sense feel free to point it out to me because I mostly write with the help of a translator. Under the cut because I wrote too much stuff.
TLDR: proshippers hate me because I dont want to look at glorified depictions of pedophilia/incest/etc, antis hate me because my content isnt 100% sanitized. I stay around anti circles because I find it slightly easier for me to talk about my headcanons with them even though I think they can be insufferable.
So the thing about proshipping. From what I've seen it means being "anti-harassment" and being in support of curating your online experience, which sounds great on paper and that's practically what I do. I have over 3k accounts blocked on my personal twitter to navigate the website more easily and I also dont care if someone blocks me if they dont like my stuff.
Except proshippers never consider me a proshipper because I am uncomfortable with viewing glorified depictions of topics like pedophilia, incest, rape, all that stuff. The same way people are uncomfortable with excessive blood and gore (which I also can't really handle seeing). Whether or not it's always easy to tell if it's glorified is an entirely different topic, which is precisely why I stay away from all depictions in general to avoid being intrusive.
And what's interesting is that I do not label myself an "anti". Mainly because I don't even know what the term "anti" is supposed to mean ("anti-" what exactly. Genuinely please tell me because I actually dont know) But the ones who label themselves "proship" always call me an anti, because again I do not wish to engage with content related to pedophilia etc, and that alone apparently enough to be considered "a person who harasses others over fiction" even if I mind my own business and have no interest in forcing my personal tastes on others, especially if they make it clear that they wont change their mind. Which makes me believe that for a lot of self-identified proshippers, the definition of being "proship" would be more similar to "I love fucked up stuff and if you dont then youre lame and it obviously means you can't tell the difference between fiction and reality" which honestly seems like insecurity to me.
Forgive me for bringing up this up once again but I want to mention an example to make it easier for me to explain: yknow the whole thing with me drawing Minori and Reigen and labelling it "non-cp" which caused a wave of both self-identified antis and proshippers harassing me over that (I'll say that proshippers were more bold about it since the antis harassing me were all anonymous). Proshippers saw me saying "I dont ship that" and interpreted it as me being defensive and in denial, as if I said "guys I swear Im an anti !!! please dont think im a proshipper !!! ", when I meant "I dont want to discuss this with others in a shipping manner because thats not how I see it and I dont want to enter a space Im not comfortable with"
I admit I responded to this situation in a petty manner, but this was after several days of harassment done directly in my inbox and publicly (sometimes I wish yall remembered that group chats and priv accounts exist). My point is that simply saying you don't like seeing pedophilia in fiction is enough for proshippers to believe it's justified for them to harass you over it (and I'm fully aware they'll say it's not harassment, only when antis and "puriteens" do this to them then it's harassment)
Now about the anti side. Don't get me started on them either. If proshippers see me as an enemy then this must mean that I always get along with the ones who call themselves "antis" (I do not). Note that Im only talking about adults here, I dislike beefing with children and I think their feelings about this are entirely reasonable (I'll elaborate on this when talking about internet safety)
But anyways. I think a lot of adults are discourse-brained and do way too much. Im thinking of nonsense like "this ship is problematic because they are 'sibling-coded' so thats basically incest" "siblings giving each other a hug gives me proship vibes" things of that nature. And you're not allowed to do anything that even has the smallest possibility of being interpreted as "problematic", because then they'll harass you for it, and if you clarify your intentions, they expect you to apologize for "misleading" them because clearly they didnt do anything wrong by making assumptions about you.
There's almost no room allowed for creativity with them, everyone has to follow fanon because they consider it canon, if you ever want to try something other than the same boring domestic fluff then it's "too much" (and not even platonic affection is acceptable to draw in certain cases). Which is incredibly fucking boring to me who wants to see different types of content. People even said I was enjoying incest for drawing Reigen selfcest, and that I was "making others uncomfortable" by drawing it. Genuinely seems to me that they only care about moral superiority, that they never think about anything in depth, and I dont think they realize that it also shows in what they create: boring and repeated fanart and headcanons where the only thing you can say about it is "thats cute", nothing more because you saw it ten billion times already. You cant draw two people showing platonic affection that absolutely nobody would bat an eye if it happened in real life, you cant discuss something specific in more depth without people saying you have a fetish for it, and then they'll harass you based on their speculation that it's a fetish. I dont think many realize this, but fandoms are full of autistic people, so it's normal to see people who are interested in very specific things that dont make sense to others! I wish people were less judgmental, but at the same time I dont care if people think Im weird. I think what I mean is theres no reason to mistreat weird people who do no harm to others.
So yeah if you call yourself an "anti" I'll assume youre spend too much time engaging in fandom discourse and you're the type of person to believe that fanart where two people are holding hands is the equivalent to drawing them fucking each other. Which I think is a very childish mindset to have and it's worrying that many adults think this way. I also think that as an adult they should be capable of blocking stuff they hate instead of constantly arguing with people online because at this point it's just mental torture.
The thing about internet safety I mentioned earlier, I'd say this is the one thing that I'll always prioritize discussing whenever proship discourse comes up.... To put it simply: filter and limit the visibility of your content, do not put triggering stuff in the main tags, stay in your own circles. Whether or not you believe fictional rape/pedophilia/etc is bad is irrelevant, my point is that these are objectively triggering topics and should be filtered just like how there are warnings for violence and blood even if it's not real.
"But it's the parents' responsibility to control what kids look at online, this has nothing to do with me!" and I agree with the parents being the ones Primarily responsible. However the reality is that children are online and there's nothing you can do to stop it from happening. Kids will also enter spaces theyre not allowed in, theyre children and children are rebellious especially teenagers, I was like this as a teenager too. You'd be lying if you said you were always obedient since childhood and never did anything you were told Not to do. And you can't really expect teenagers to always block and not interact if they see something triggering. It's your responsibility to block them if they interact with you, because what I see most of the time is adults bickering with teenagers who are uncomfortable, calling them "puriteens", putting them on blast and allowing other adults including NSFW accounts to dunk on them.
Humiliating and degrading teenagers does not "teach them a lesson", it only makes the teenager more stubborn and reactive. Adults must accept that kids will always find their way in there even if your content isnt easily accessible. So I think it's stupid to feel offended at a child because they got upset when they found upsetting content like how any normal child would react. Which is why I wish more adults would keep blocking without saying anything petty to provoke teenagers.
Before someone pancake-waffles me and says "so youre fine with antis doxxing people" no I do not support doxxing. Ive been doxxed so I know it sucks. However the only times Ive seen it go this far is after continuous arguing because nobody knows when to stop. Im not saying this applies all the time nor am I saying doxxing is fine, but there are ways to minimize this sort of outcome as much as possible. Both sides have doxxed people over petty arguments that couldve easily been avoided if they just blocked each other and moved on.
The topic above (internet safety) is probably the only thing related to this where Im actively telling others what they should be doing. It's not only teenagers who are triggered by depictions of pedophilia etc but also adults like myself. In my case Im old enough to block content I dislike without saying a word, however I cant help but think that there's not enough being done about filtering especially when I do not search for this type of content and I still see it all the time.
I also think it's important for me to mention that I have a very poor sense of morality. I do not have a personal moral code that I adhere to, and I mostly stick to the basic universal ones that make sense to me. So I will not discuss the "morals" of consuming this stuff because I am not adequate to share an opinion on this, and I know the most popular topic of discussion related to proship discourse is morality which I frankly find counterproductive. I dont understand why people should care so much if I find something morally correct or not, unless it's to make themselves feel better about having a "superior opinion" to mine. Though I will say that if a man tells me he's into rape "but only in fiction!" then I dont think it will stop me of imagining myself bashing his skull repeatedly with large rocks. Maybe Im too mistrustful of men in general.
Final point I want to clarify is that I am not trying to assert some sort of superiority over people by disliking both sides, like saying "Im not an anti or a proshipper Im a Normal person" or something like that, and Im not expressing a "neutral" stance on the topic of fiction's influence on reality either. There are topics like racism and orientalism in fiction that Im vocal about (which is expected since Im Algerian). I genuinely believe there are many things that are interesting to discuss and should be prioritized, but too many people are chronically online, subjective and defensive, at this point I dont even think it's accurate to say that disliking one side automatically means you support the other side regarding fiction. To me, "proship discourse" is not about the debate of the effects of fiction on reality, censorship in media, etc. It's about everything I described earlier that happens online.
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