#sometimes all you really need in life is an alpaca...
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mashpotatoequeen · 1 year ago
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WHO DUNNIT TMBS CHALLENGE: The Alpaca
Once everything had settled down, Kate decided that there wasn't a lot you could really do with an alpaca. You couldn't play with it like you could a dog, nor stroke it while it sat in your lap as you could a cat. Milligan refused to let her keep it inside, so all she could really do was feed it, pet it, and tell it how much she loved it.
 Oh, at first it had been funny of course. Her and Milligan had seen it wondering the commune and had agreed to take it in. After all, once Curtain disbanded everything the poor creature would need a place to stay. The Wetherall's owned a nice chunk of property, so why not take it with them?
Truth be told, Kate had kind of missed the animals that the circus had trotted around. There had even been an alpaca that had been trained to balance on a large ball. She could still remember how soft it's coat had been moments before it had spit directly in her eye. 
Good times.
"What do you think we should name it?" Milligan had asked her the first night they were back home.
Before the two could settle on a name, they first had to decide what sex "it" was. After much consideration they came to a tentative agreement that "it" was probably a "she" and they eventually decided on the name "Madam". Kate liked the sound of it, but Milligan had tried to come up with similar names that didn't have the same "connotation". When she asked what he meant by that, he blushed and quickly changed the subject.
Madam it was. 
And that brings us up to tonight, in which Kate looks down sadly from her window at Madam who had been left out to graze. It wasn't a cold night, and Kate had convinced her dad to let the creature roam around so she wouldn't be all alone in her pen.
"But she would still be alone Katie-Cat. She would just have more room to be alone with," Milligan said.
"But she could keep herself busy," was Kate's reply. "Instead of being cooped up all night. Please?"
He had agreed, and now Madam and Kate stared at each other from less than half a mile away.
She just stood there, staring at Kate with her dark, beady eyes.
Judging her. 
How could you leave me out here all alone is what her eyes said.
They stayed like that for ten minutes before Kate couldn't take it any longer. She snuck around her room as to not make too much noise and started to rifle through her trusty bucket.
A bit of strong rope. A fastener. The window frame looked sturdy enough...
Oh yeah. This could work.
***
Milligan walked up to his daughters room. It was about 9 am, which was a few hours after Kate normally got up. He didn't really want to wake her up if it was a simple case of sleeping in, but if she wasn't feeling well then he needed to know eight away so he could help her.
As gently as he could, he quietly opened up the door to her room... and almost immediately fainted.
Kate was still asleep, and right next to her in the bed was Madam's head sticking out from under the cover.
His first thought was: Godfather! Someone has Godfathered my daughter!
His second thought upon seeing that the alpaca was breathing under the blanket was: She is so grounded...when she wakes up.
As silent as a ghost, he shut the door and went downstairs to make breakfast for all three of them.
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thegreatwicked · 8 months ago
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Writing Resources Part 2
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My first list was so long I decided that I reached the character limit! So we have a part two! I'm going to try and keep them a bit more organized too! Hope these help you all in your writing endeavors and if you happen to use any of them try to give the original source some love!
Also, apologies if I've tagged you more than once and it's annoying! If I reference your material more than twice I will just link your whole Tumblr. I really do want to make sure everyone gets their credit and spotlight!
General Information and Research:
The Fantasy Guide to Royal and Noble Marriages or anything by @inky-duchess Her blog is extensive and is a wealth of information regarding things like royalty/nobility/Period social politics and is a fantastic resource, go check her out! Ink I do appologize I might be tagging you more than once!
@type1diabetesinfandom This blog is an amazing resource if you are interested in writing about characters with any form of diabetes or similar health issues. It was ana amzing find when I was writing my character Belladonna Black from Shadows of Deception who is hypoglycemic. What an amazing source!
How to Cook in a Medieval Setting: by @alpaca-clouds Food is the best way to know a culture and this particular blog post is a trove of information for your fictional foodie set anywhere in this spectrum of time or a great find for a fictional setting! This post obviously gets a chefs kiss!
The Symbolism of Flowers by @novlr Yeah! Leopold knew what he was talkign about, every flower has a meaning and it is entirely possible to send some a bouquette that translates to 'Fuck You' btw it consists of geraniums (stupidity), foxglove (insincerity), meadowsweet (uselessness), yellow carnations (you have disappointed me), and orange lilies (hatred). it would be quite striking! and full of loathing. THE MORE YOU KNOW. This blog is also a fantastic source for writers.
Writing About Body Pain by @slayingfiction I just came across this gem of a blog and if you're one who likes to make your characters sufffer than look no further, also, how ya doing? You ok? Just checking. This blog is also a fantastic writing resource.
How to Accurately Describe Pain in Writing by @hayatheauthor kinda piggybacking off the previous source but nevertheless lets make sure we make these characters suffer realistically? I'm ok too, if you're wondering. This is another great blog that focuses on the aspect of being a writer.
How to Use Canva to Make Mood Boards by @saradika I did not know much about mood baords but I'm telling you they are a gaem changer! They bring a life to your story in a way that is just so stunning and saradika has been so lovely as to make this helpful guide! She's also a very talented writer and is quite the Star Wars Fan! GO check out her stories!
Researching as a Writer by @so-many-ocs Research is a tricky topid to delve into and sometime sit hard to know where to start, this blogger has been so kinda as to make a bit of a roadmap to help you narrow down what you need to research and how. Wonderful blog! Very helpful!
Resources for Writing Deaf, Mute, or Blind Characters by @thecaffeinebookwarrior THIS! This right here is a gem and the only reason I don't write these types fo characters is because I've never known how to do so respectfuly and realistically! Not a problem anymore! Also a wonderful artist!
How to Write and Research a Mental Illness another gem from @hayatheauthor again if you're going to wrote a character with a mental illness lets make sure we get it right!
@namesforwriters It's little but a wonderful source of unique names for your story! Including mythology and music themed names!
Nightmare Disorder vs Night Terrors by @redd956 Some great clarification from a blogger who is diagnosed! So happy I found this as I was wondering about the distinction myself for a little while!
Types of Gemstones by @blueboxbeagle and brought to my attention by @keffirinne
A General Cane Guide for Writers and Artists by @deoidesignand brought to my attention but @cripplecharacters I was so excited to find this fantastic little gem recently and I look forward to using it! I'm keeping an eye out for more material in portraying characters with disabilities and disorders maybe it'll get it's own post!
@cripplecharacters linking this amazing blogger if you are wanting to expand your characters and write them with disabilities or diaper fees, this is a wonderful source of how to do it and stay respectful!!
@writingwithcolor use that painters pallet and write diverse characters and when you’re not sure what or how to write something check this blog out! Such a wonderful source for all questions concerning ethnicity, race and diversity!
@writinglgbtq I was looking for this blog!!! Your source for all things concerning writing the LGBTQ community respectfully and believably! So happy to ah e found this!!
@macgyvermedical I have been looking for a blog like this for some time and I'm so happy to add it to my writing resources list as tehre are far too many great and helpful posts to pick just one. Check out this amazing blogger who offers medical beta reads and asks for fanficiton!
Make it Pretty! My own contribution to help make writing a bit prettier! ꧁☽✶☾✶☽꧂ Enjoy!
Adding Page Breaks & Art to Your Stories Another of my own contributions for adding in nice clean page breaks to your stories as well as how to upload art to AO3, FFN and Wattled.
More will be added to this post as I find it and if you find anything that fits the general research on broad topics or specifics please let me know so I can continue this collective writing resource! And make sure to give some of these wonderful writers and bloggers some love!
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harley-sunday · 2 years ago
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Feels Like Home [01]
Summary: When an unexpected three-week break between Monza and Singapore finds Daniel back on his farm in Perth he’s desperate to use this time to clear his mind, figure out his future in Formula One, and find his way back. He didn’t expect a new neighbour, a sassy two-year old, and three alpacas would make him realise that sometimes, what you’re looking for is right in front of you.
Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x reader (unnamed OFC)
Warnings: Language
Word count: 2.7k
AN: Yes. Hi. Hello. Believe it or not but I started writing this fic because I desperately needed some good guy!Daniel being cute with kids in my life. The idea was just a short one shot. Ha. Who was I kidding? Because here we are, six months and nine chapters later... I really hope you like it, please come yell at me in the comments, on anon, or in my DMs about any and all things about this story you want to yell at me about. I probably deserve it. ♥
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There’s something about being here, on his farm outside of Perth, that he doesn’t experience anywhere else in the world. Not in Monaco, not in Los Angeles, not even in Austin, or Montana. 
Because here- Here, he doesn’t have to be Daniel Ricciardo, Danny Ric, DR, or the Honey Badger. He doesn’t have to be a Formula One driver, an eight-time race winner, the most beloved driver on the grid, and the fan favourite. He doesn’t have to be Red Bull’s wild card, Renault’s saviour, or, most recently, McLaren’s scapegoat. Here, he is Daniel. And it’s enough. 
Or, at least, it used to be.
Lately, there's been a yearning in his heart that he's unfamiliar with. Or he pretends to be anyway because he’s not ready to put it into words yet, not ready to speak into existence what he really wants from life. Afraid he'll jinx it if he does. 
And so he keeps it to himself and lets his heart ache for something more in silence while the life he does know slowly keeps on falling apart around him.
***
Daniel rests his wrists on the handlebar of his dirt bike and lets out a breath he seems to have been holding in ever since he retired on lap forty-five of the Monza Grand Prix four days ago. Looking out over the valley below, he feels more grounded than he has in a long time and he hopes that the next two weeks will give him the peace he so desperately needs after the shitshow that has been his season so far. 
The sun’s already low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the somewhat still barren trees and shrubs even though he can tell winter is slowly coming to an end from the sprouts of green that have started to grace the landscape with their presence. There’s a kookaburra laughing somewhere in the distance and he takes it as his cue to fire up his engine again for one last run around his dirt track before it gets too dark. 
He knows technically he isn’t supposed to ride his bike during the season, knows technically McLaren could issue him a hefty fine for breaching his contract, but if they ever were to find out he figures they can just take it out of the settlement they’re due to pay him at the end of the year. He’s promised Zak he’ll do whatever it takes to score as many points as possible in the last six races but he also decided early on that he’s no longer going to let the team dictate what he can or cannot do in his time away from the track. 
There’s a meeting tomorrow, with Blake and Michael, where they’ll try to figure out his future in Formula One. There have been a few offers, both from teams who want him as their second driver and from teams who want him to become their reserve driver, but he’s still undecided, not sure if he wants to settle for another midfield team or stay in Formula One without really being in Formula One. 
By the time he completes his lap his head is somewhat empty, too busy instead to focus on keeping his bike under control and not ending up in the dirt. It’s almost dark now and so he opens the throttle wide and guns it home, a race against an invisible clock that, unlike this past season in Formula One, he wins every single time.
Once his bike is safely back in the shed he makes his way over to the house, hosing his boots down before he takes them off at the back door and leaves them to dry on the shoe rack his Dad made for him when he bought the farm. He changes out of his gear in the mud room, making a face when he takes his socks off and catches a whiff of the smell but laughing then because he remembers them smelling so much worse after a race in, oh let’s say, Singapore. With nothing but his boxer shorts on he steps into the kitchen and heads straight for the fridge, taking out an ice cold bottle of water. The sigh of relief when he rolls it against the back of his neck almost obscene. It might be winter but temperatures in western Australia are still as high as a beautiful spring day in Monaco.
It’s then the intercom rings and for a moment he debates ignoring it, not sure if he’s up for telling yet another local journo looking to make it big by trying to get an interview with ‘shunned McLaren driver Daniel Ricciardo’ that now really isn’t a good time  and that any requests for interviews should be made through Blake anyway.  
Plus, he gave his family and friends the access code to the gate when it was first installed, so he doubts any of them are waiting for him to open it, not in the least because they know better than to just show up without a text or call in advance.  
In the end, his curiosity gets the better of him and so he walks over to where the control panel of his alarm system hangs in the living room and pushes the button needed to connect to whoever’s at the gate, “Hello?”
“Hi,” the screen comes on then, the black and white image showing a woman wearing a Stetson hat. She’s staring somewhere into the distance, her face obscured by the shadows the brim of her hat casts under the streetlight, but her voice comes through loud and clear, “Sorry to bother you this late-”
“It’s seven thirty,” he shoots back almost effortlessly.
“-but I wondered if I could maybe ask you to keep it down with the dirt biking a little?” 
“I’m sorry, what?”
She looks up and into the camera then, pushing her hat a little higher so he can finally see her eyes, “It’s just- We’ve got a flock of alpacas over in Eagle's Nest and they tend to get a little jittery from all the noise. Especially when they try to settle in for the night and-”
“I’m sorry,“ he can’t help but grin, running a hand through his hair, “but I’m going to need a little more context here.”
She laughs and he thinks it’s the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard and so he’s a little distracted but then he sees her taking her hat off, revealing her face and- Fuck. She’s gorgeous. He watches her as she shakes her head, a smile tugging on the corners of her lips, “Shit, sorry. I probably should have given you a bit more to go on.” Putting her hat back on she straightens up and points to somewhere over her shoulder, “Your neighbour on that side, Oscar Linton? He’s my granddad. I think you know him, right?”
“Old man Linton!” He smiles and nods, “Of course I do.” When he first bought the farm he made sure to introduce himself to his neighbours and while he likes to think he has a good relationship with all three of them he’s always had a soft spot for the elderly man further up the road. So much so that he always makes sure to drop by for a chat whenever he finds himself back in Perth. It’s then he connects the dots and recognises her from some of the pictures Oscar has up in his living room. All of a sudden he feels guilty for not going to see his neighbour yet even though he has been home for two days already but maybe he can do that tomorrow or-
“He fell a few days ago-” her voice pulls him out of his thoughts unintentionally and his guilt triples in a matter of seconds. There’s a sad smile tugging on her lips which makes him prepare for the worst. 
Surely they would have let him know if- He remembers the pile of unopened letters waiting for him on the kitchen counter then and curses quietly, “Shit.”
“He’s ok,” she’s quick to reassure him, as if she knows what he was thinking. “He spent a couple of nights in hospital and still has a long way to go but at least he’s home again.” She takes a deep breath, “They had to replace his hip and he’s got a broken wrist but,” she shrugs, “it could have been worse.” 
It’s then the absurdity of the situation hits him, with him in his boxers in his living room and her on the other end of his kilometre-long driveway, talking into a metallic box. He shakes his head and pushes the button that opens the gate automatically, “I think maybe we shouldn’t have this conversation over an intercom. I could make you a cup of coffee if you want? Or something stronger? I make a mean-”
She bites her lip and seems to hesitate.
“Just a quick cuppa. It’s the neighbourly thing to do, right?”
He sees her nod, “Yeah, ok.”
He can’t help the grin that spreads across his face, “Happy days.” 
***
The house is not at all how you expect it to be, much more modern and open-planned than any of the other farm houses in the area. The west-facing wall has been completely redone in glass panels, offering a stunning view of the valley and surrounding paddocks and you can’t help but admire the interior design of both the kitchen and the living room, which is masculine but still inviting. You wonder if he decorated the place himself or if he hired some interior designer to do it for him.
“Here you go,” Daniel, who told you ‘You can call me Dan’ when he greeted you at the door with a bright smile and an outstretched hand- offers you a cup of steaming hot coffee and motions for you to join him at the kitchen table. He’s wearing white sweatpants and a matching white sweater that look incredibly comfy and that make you want to wrap yourself around him and hang onto him like a koala bear. Wait. What? 
You take your hat off to try and keep from ogling him, placing  it on the chair next to you before you sit down and smile at him, “You know, all these years I thought you were called Danny Ric because that’s what Granddad keeps calling you. I’m not sure I can get used to Daniel.” 
Daniel laughs, the laughter lines in the corners of his eyes even more prominent now, “Trust the old man to keep that gag going.” He shakes his head then, “I can’t believe he fell though.”
“Yeah,” you agree quietly, blowing into your coffee. “We’re lucky Mrs Mackenzie found him when she did or-” You let out a ragged breath and see him nod, his eyes kind, and it makes you continue, “His hip was completely shattered and his wrist is broken in three places so it’s going to take a while before he’s up and running again- I mean, if his new hip ever heals completely- He’s already seventy-eight so-” You hear yourself starting to ramble and so you fold your hands around your cup and try to calm down a little. You’re not even sure why you’re even telling him all of this, but he’s a friend of your granddad and so you figure he’s good people. “Mum and Dad wanted to come back from New Zealand to help out but-” you look up at Daniel and shrug, “I spent a lot of time on the farm as a kid, right until I left for uni, so it made much more sense for me to move in with him for the time being.” 
“That’s a pretty big thing to do,” Daniel says with a kind smile, a warmth to his brown eyes that you can feel yourself get lost in. “You sure your family can miss you that long?”
You don’t really know what he’s getting at, whether he’s talking about your Mum and Dad or the husband and kids he thinks you might have left behind to come back to Mundaring, and you don’t really know you want to tell him your truth either, after all you’ve just met him, so in the end you shake your head and settle on an honest, “I’ve got everything I need right here.” 
He eyes you suspiciously but doesn’t push it and instead he says, “If you’d have me I’d love to come over to see him some time. I’m still here for almost another two weeks  and-” 
“I’m sure he’d like that,” you offer with a smile. “He always tells me what a nice bloke you are.”
Daniel leans back in his chair and grins, spreading his arms, “Can’t say I blame him. I’m the best.” 
“He says the same thing about the postie,” you tease with a casual shrug, “so don’t get too excited.” 
“Ouch,” Daniel brings a hand to his chest, “that hurts.” 
You pout, “So sad.” 
“Very,” Daniel agrees quietly, trying his best to keep a straight face. He puts his arms on the table then and leans forward, “Before you stomp on my ego some more, why don’t you tell me the real reason you’re here. What’s up with that eagle’s nest over in some paddock?”
“Oof,” you pull a face and shake your head, “you were so close.” You can’t help but laugh when you see him pretend to be hurt at your comment. You take a sip of coffee before you explain, pointing in the general direction of your paddock, “Your dirt track borders Eagle's Nest, the paddock Granddad uses for the alpacas in September and October, and I guess normally it isn’t a problem because you usually aren’t home during this time of year but I heard you yesterday and today and-”
“Yeah, we had an unexpected three-week break this year so I figured-” Daniel waves his hand around for you to continue then.
“It’s just, we have three pregnant females this year and- I don’t know if you’re at all familiar with alpacas?”
He shakes his head, “I didn’t even know you guys had alpacas. Your granddad and I just tend to talk shit about Mrs Mackenzie and them over a cuppa but I've never really asked him about the farm to be honest."
You throw him a look, knowing all too well your granddad doesn’t drink coffee.
He quickly backs down, “Fine, I drink coffee, he drinks tea.” 
“There you go,” you mouth with a wink. “Anyway, alpacas are basically scared of everything, even their own shadow, so you know, someone riding a dirt bike close by doesn’t really help with keeping them nice and calm during these last few weeks of their pregnancy.” 
“Gotcha.”
“They’re usually out on the other side of the paddock during the day, so anything until five in the afternoon is fine” you offer, not wanting to deprive him of his hobby completely, “but we have their feeders and the shed they can hide in during the night out over in your corner, so-”
“You’re giving me a five pm curfew, basically,” he says with a raise of his eyebrows.
“Just until the end of October.” You bite your lip, “I’m sorry, it’s just-”
“Nah, no worries,” Daniel puts his hand on your forearm and gives it a squeeze to let you know he means it. “I’d do anything for old Oscar.” Then, with a grin he adds, “And his girls.” 
You can’t help the heat that rises to your cheeks and try to hide it with a smile, “Thank you.”
He squeezes your arm again, “He’s gonna be fine by the way. He’s tough, that one.”
“Speaking of Granddad,” you risk a quick glance at your watch, letting you know it’s almost eight fifteen, “I should probably head back.” You push your chair back and grab your hat, putting it on as you tell Daniel, “Thank you for the coffee.”
“Anytime,” he says with a grin as he stands up as well, following you to the front door. “Tell him I’ll come by soon, ok?”
“Will do.” You turn around then and smile again, something about not getting your hopes up but doing so anyway when you ask, “I’ll see you around then?”
Daniel tips his imaginary hat, “Yes ma’am.” 
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crescent-dreams · 5 months ago
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Creator's Corner - NoProbllama92
How did you become a fan of the Inuyasha fandom?
I've loved Inuyasha since the days of Adult Swim in the early 2000s, when I was still in middle school. It was the second anime I ever got into (after Sailor Moon). However, I didn't start reading Inuyasha fanfiction until 2021 and writing until 2023.
What are your favourite fanfic tropes as a writer?
Soulmates, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Enemies to Lovers, and smut, of course. There's just something about a good love story that I find hard to resist.
And as a reader?
Same as above, really. I just really love love, y'know? And I love reading about my favorite characters falling in love. Though, I always need to have a happy ending, too!
Which work of yours is your personal favourite? The one you are most proud of?
Hmm, so far, I'm really proud of "in a barbie world". It was such a fun fic to write, though "the second hand unwinds" is a very close second. It's my baby, so I imagine in the end, it'll take first place.
Which SessKag fanfiction of another author is your go-to choice for a great read?
"Transgressions" by @wbficaholic. I can't hype this fic enough. It's the perfect combination of smut, romance, humor, and angst with a happy ending, and I tend to reread it often.
What makes a good story?
Character development, but also world-building. I love to be able to close my eyes and see the scenes play out in my head. 
Is there anything you need while writing? Snacks? Music? A comfy blanket?
My playlists and noise-canceling earbuds, a hot cup of green tea, and my computer. I do my best work when I can block out the world.
How do you get your ideas? In your dreams? In the shower?
Usually, they come to me when I'm lying in bed at night, trying to fall asleep—which then means I never actually get to sleep because I'm too busy planning things out in my mind. Sometimes inspiration will come from a song that's stuck in my head, or maybe a movie or a TV show. My Barbie fic, for instance, came to me when I came across the VHS case for the film "Life-Size".
If you could meet an Inuyasha character, what would you tell them?
Kagome—girl, aim higher. You deserve so much more than to feel like second best. Also, there's a certain daiyoukai lord who would surely treat you like the treasure you are. 
As a writer, what would your spirit animal be?
The llama (or alpaca), naturally.
What is your kryptonite as a writer?
I struggle the most with dialogue and having confidence in my work. I'm really introverted, so conversations don't come all that easily for me, and I think that's what causes me the most anxiety. Does this flow well? Is it a natural progression? Would the characters actually say something like this? I also tend to second-guess myself a lot and hesitate when it actually comes to hitting the post button.
What advice would you give someone who wants to start writing?
The easiest way to begin writing is to read read read. Find your style, develop your voice, and let your ideas flow. Write what you want to write, not what you think other people will want to read. You are your number one audience.
You can find @noprobllama92 on Ao3 and Tumbl!! And please check out our Creator’s Corner Masterlist for all our past creators!
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peachiecure · 6 months ago
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A reflection on Project: Dimension (logo made by my friend Petal I’m so sorry your work is never actually getting used)
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Hello everyone. I’m here to talk about a project that is now defunct. This will be a reflection/info post on what I have personally done for it. Project: Dimension (PD for short) WAS a group project between me and 3 other members, combining our precure fanseries together to form a crossover story with new and familiar characters. It was originally considered a Project SFA spinoff for some reason (looking back at it now, it is MUCH more precure than SFA so I don’t think this really stands anymore), and it was going to be told in comic format. To sum up the plot… Phantom, the god of death, summons the other villains to form a group to take down the precure for their own personal reasons. The precure join together to try to take them down… but a certain turn of events happens. Chaos ensures.
During the project’s beginnings on the platform we were using, the team created teasers, making it interactive with hidden clues so people could dig in and discover what the project is about. We ended up stopping the teasers when we found out only one person was actually trying to find the clues rather than a group of people… I’m so sorry Nitro😭😭 Please take care of yourself. I drew many things for these, some are pictured.
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The majority of my work was art, of course, I did have a say in aspects of the story considering that the main character it was focusing on was indeed still my own, Larissa Frausto. Others that were from my projects included Pixelena (Larissa’s precure team’s crazy mascot alpaca), Princess Sweetheart and Dimentio. Yeah, the character choice from my stuff is honestly really funny looking back at it. Like how did Sweetheart and Dimentio get here?? I guess it doesn’t matter now. The main villain, Phantom, was also my own from a RP which was then adapted for PD, and let me tell you I HATE HIM. Like not even in a “oh he’s a good villain because everyone loves to hate him” way NO HE’S LIKE GENUINELY SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN MADE. His whole premise is built on a harmful stereotype, and I’m only acknowledging such things now because I have grown since then. Please do not let the teenagers cook sometimes because this… yeah please don’t make a yandere type character and PLEASE don’t make them a GOD. Please. Learn from my mistakes. On my knees BEGGING. Sadly, the whole project REVOLVES around this dynamic between Larissa and Phantom as the plot progresses and I think I don’t need to say where this was gonna go, so I’m just not gonna. It was beyond saving and thus the plug being pulled was for the best. I will enjoy the memories of the team working together, but canning the project was the right decision in the end. It does suck that I put in years of work for it to not go anywhere, but it is what it is.
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The final thing I will talk about is Raguel’s old lore for PD. Well… all that I know of it anyways. Raguel in PD is still the god of life, but Phantom, then called Azazel, was like his little brother figure for many many years. Raguel deeply cared for him, even if Azazel was a bit… stoic and didn’t seem to understand emotions. Raguel also had a precure team of his own that he viewed as his daughters. But one day, something was going to happen and Azazel was going to like??— go against him or something… (I DONT ACTUALLY KNOW WE NEVER FINISHED) which then would have resulted in Raguel stabbing out his eye and Azazel killing Raguel’s whole magical girl team. Yeah. Then Azazel gets sealed away by Raguel for 700+ years and when he’s finally freed again, he’s the way you see him now as Phantom who has this BURNING hatred towards him and the precure which was his whole motivation. The prologue pages start when he’s finally freed from the seal… so yeah. I realize this project is a total departure from my usual bubbly stuff.
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In the end, PD wasn’t going to affect any of my main project’s lore because it quite literally was going to be revealed at the end that none of it was canon and just someone’s fanfic. PD’s aspects that I liked are being used in other projects. Raguel has been moved to my new persona project, the comic format has been moved to tell SFA’s story now, and Phantom will stay 6 feet under!!! Everyone cheered!!! I want that twink obliterated. Anyways, I feel that I finally have closure on this and can move on so um… thank you for reading me ramble about this. I feel better. NOW TIME TO DRAFT THE NEXT SFA PAGES WITH BLUMIERE AND TIMPANI— (I am dragged away)
I think it is important to me to acknowledge this project and the work I’ve done for it, even if I don’t agree with content included in it now. As humans, we change and grow, and I’ve learned so much since the time this was originally made. Below are the prologue pages that I finished, the final bit of work I did. Thank you for your support.
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10-days-of-freakin-olives · 11 months ago
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10DaysofOlives Fanfiction Masterpost
Below is a list of my fanfictions - completed and WIPs - for your perusal!
The Art of Being Okay (WIP, series)
The thing is, much of the time it takes seeing someone else being okay to realize that you, yourself, are not, in fact, okay at all. Or; the one where Aziraphale and Crowley give themselves and each other just a little bit more room to heal and let something good grow from the ashes, AKA The DIY Trauma Therapy AU This fic is the main one I'm working on at the moment - there will be a break in updates as I try to get a little ahead of myself, and then I'm hoping to update it weekly on Sundays.
A.Z. Fell's Treatise On the Care and Keeping of Infernal Serpents for the Discerning Occult Ophiophilist, Vol. 1-331 (WIP, multi-chapter)
After everything ends - or, perhaps, after the beginning ends and everything else begins - Aziraphale comes out of the other side very determined to keep Crowley for the rest of eternity. Luckily, Aziraphale hasn't spent the last several millennia becoming the foremost expert on the keeping of infernal serpents for nothing. or: Aziraphale is doing his best to prove he can be a good life partner, and Crowley is making the informed decision to let him. Muriel is also there, sometimes. Something a little soft for when I need to take a break from my other projects - irregular updates, this is just something I add to when I feel the urge to rather than a regularly updated project.
Happy Whatever and Many Joyous Somethings [My Heart in a Nutshell] (COMPLETED, one-shot)
Over the years, Crowley and Aziraphale have collected a well-worn box of holiday tradition that may look a little odd to an outsider. Christmas one-shot
Pour Your Sweetness Over Me (COMPLETED, one-shot)
In which Crowley has made some assumptions, too many assumptions, really all the assumptions; Aziraphale is that bitch who's either pulling the parking brake or winning the Indy 500 and there is no in-between; and there are booty bonbons and a see-through nightie. And maybe alpacas, someday.
What I ended up writing instead of working on either of my WIPs, because I'm that bitch.
Check back for updates!
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gay-sin · 1 year ago
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crocheting yarn is praying to god
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i have spent a good amount of my free time lately thinking about yarn. i won a bid on ebay and bought some white mohair from a seller in florida for a great price. today i spent a very long time trying to get to a yarn store in cambridge. i had a lot of transit complications and had to walk a long time in the rain. i got there with my jeans and belongings soaked. my phone is in rice at the moment. it was worth it though because the store was amazing. it had so many kinds of quality yarns. i went around feeling them all for what must have been an hour. i tried to intuit what worsted vs woolen yarn was. there are so many things i don't know about yarn. all of the plastic yarns were very cheap. some wool yarn was cheap but the cheap wool felt very scratchy. i wanted soft yarn. i got two balls of 100% merino wool in bubble gum and rococo pink. i think i will make leg warmers with them. i'm not sure yet. i spent a long time feeling the alpaca yarn. i let myself splurge and get a $20 skein of 100% alpaca yarn in a muted blue color. the tag said that the yarn was "non-mulesed" which i read as non-molested. turns out mulesing is "a painful procedure that involves cutting crescent-shaped flaps of skin from around a lamb's breech and tail using sharp shears designed specifically for this purpose." i looked up photos but i don't recommend that you do.
as an artist, there are always so many factors to consider when choosing materials. i have always preferred trash/found materials as they are the most affordable. there is so much that ends up in landfills so why not use these things to make art? i love the poetics of things that were thrown aside being given new life. i've always preferred thrifting clothing, yarn, fabric. but what i have realized with yarn, though, is that it is very hard to find quality yarn like that. most yarn is mixed with acrylic or polyester. before i took a class on fibers in the spring, i had no idea what my clothes were really made of. now i think about it a lot. i'm trying to train my senses to decipher these things. i had no idea that clothes could even be made out of plastic and now the thought that most clothes are made with plastic really disturbs me. if you can't tell if yarn is plastic, you can burn it and tell by the smell. i'm becoming a detective, trying to find the imposters in a world where the plastic version is so goddamn convincing. it makes me uneasy. it feels very metaphorical.
in my fiber arts class, we read chapters of books written by anni albers. she was an artist that co-founded the black mountain college. i want to go back and dive deeply into these things that i only had the time to skim in school. i wanted to reread this article we had to read of hers from class. it is called "tactile sensibilities" but i needed an institution login to read the whole thing. i hate academia.... i could access the first page though and it had the main points. i wanted to use them to discuss yarn. so here are a couple quotes...
"No wonder a faculty that is so largely unemployed in our daily plodding and bustling is degenerating. Our materials come to us already ground and chipped and crushed and powdered and mixed and sliced, so that only the finale in the long sequence of operations from matter to product is left to us: we merely toast the bread." "We touch things to assure ourselves of reality. We touch the objects of our love. We touch the things we form. Our tactile experiences are elemental. If we reduce their range, as we do when we reduce the necessity to form things ourselves, we grow lopsided."
i spent a long time wanting to make pointless art, just art for the sake of art. i still do sometimes but i have been very invested in fiber arts. they are the opposite of pointless art. it is so practical, ancient, useful. i have found a deep love for it that grounds me in ways i didn't even know that i needed so badly. i think there are so many things about the way we live now in such an industrialized, hyper-individualist plastic world that we are completely unaware the harms of.
i am very interested in religion and ritual and i love how this intersects with fiber arts for me. crocheting feels like a prayer. it feels like healing. i don't really like to crochet with plastic because it feels like it cuts me off from the cycle of it all. yesterday i started my day by crocheting for a long time before work. it put me in a beautiful mood and i felt patient and at ease all day. i have been needing that. i've been in such a bad mood for awhile, so tense, always in a rush. the yarn was wool and it sorta looked like the yarn that i had spun when i tried to spin yarn. it was thicker in some spots than others, making it feel real. i could imagine someone spinning it. spinning is such a beautiful process and i respect it so much. i hated it because it was so hard. it requires so much balance. i love the look of a spinning wheel. it reminds me of fairytales. i guess that just shows how far we have come from doing these things with our hands.... but anyways, i could imagine the sheep that grew the wool, the person that sheared the sheep. the yarn was probably spun by a machine, not a person, but i like to imagine it was spun on a wheel by a person. then, i crochet with the yarn. my crocheting is not a work of individual artistic genius, but the finishing step in a long process of labor and art, across time, species, places on earth. i'm employing techniques used for such a long time before me by so many wise and beautiful human beings. techniques i didn't invent and that i am still a humble beginner at. i make things that i can feel, touch, use, give. they can be used to keep me or those i love warmer in the winter, to hold my things, to make me feel more like myself. then, the things i make with these fibers can be reused or reworked when i no longer use them. when they fall apart, they can be reabsorbed into the earth, maybe they will become soil that will grow grass, that will be eaten by a sheep that will grow wool... the process continues. i am a small participant. that is a prayer to me. that is god to me.
this is what we lose when we don't make things with our hands, when we don't know where things come from. these are the skills that are deemed frivolous and inessential, not fast enough to turn profit. i think that these things are legitimately essential to being a person. most of fiber arts is historically women's work, based in traditions of indigenous people. it is not taken seriously in this culture and it is a shame because i really think that this is having grave consequences on everyone's wellbeing.
i was talking to my roommate's dad about how he had a maid when he lived in africa. he paid her very little but he said that it was still more than the norm. he said she could go get an education and "better herself" to get more money like him. it was a long conversation and there are so many layers to that mentality that are fuckedddd. but i just really don't understand how people actually believe that doing busy work for a corporation on a computer all day does anything of importance or requires any real intelligence at all. how is that "bettering yourself"? to alienate yourself even from your own space, never even touching the things you live with except to use them and toss them wherever for someone else to clean up?? the countless skills that come with cleaning are baffling to me. i have so much respect for cleaners. i am always learning the importance of cleaning and trying to do it well. i am naturally terrible at it and am currently trying my best to be better. to me, an office job is the place most void of intelligence. it's not at all the sort of intelligence that really matters to being alive or understanding what that means. whatever.
anyways, i made a bunny hat last weekend and i haven't been able to stop wearing it. it makes me so happy. i am very content with the idea of it getting colder because i will stay inside and crochet things. i will get to wear silly hats. i have been wearing the hat to work and the kids love it. people on the streets smile at me more. lots of people compliment me on it. for some reason, it makes me feel more like myself. maybe i'm a little bit of a furry. i made it with acrylic yarn because i had bought some awhile ago but i still really like it. maybe i will make one out of mohair. i want one with bigger ears. i want a collection of animal/monster hatwear.
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here is a photo of me in the bunny hat and a drawing that one of the kids drew of me in the hat. i let the little girl that drew the picture try on the hat. it was so big on her little head. she is 5 and i love her very much.
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elizabethplaid · 6 months ago
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daily notes - june 17, 2024
-- Dug through the couch cushions to find a misplaced stylus. Found 2 this time! All have been found, and I still have back-ups.
-- Still lounging in bed a lot, drowsy and avoiding stimuli. Shaking a bit as I laid in bed today. When I try to devote myself to rest (eg actually closing my eyes, phone down), I have to whine and writhe before I can relax.
-- Texted my counselor to do a phone session again this week. I keep saying I want to aim for face-to-face, because I've had hope. This week, I'll just say the next one will be on-the-phone, to be practical.
-- Neighbors that own the donkey mowed our grass-field, so they could use it as hay for their animals. Apparently it's like $1200 a month to feed their animals. Like, ma'am, that's twice what we just spent on a huge grocery run that will feed me and dad for a few months. Like, that's a payment for a car, house, loan, etc. That could be rent in an apartment. That's just hay and grain for their ponies, goats, donkey, alpaca, etc.
-- --- You do you, bud, but it's not sustainable or practical. Please don't hurt yourself like this.
-- Sometimes I really miss my hobbies. Last year was a good year for knitting and finishing up a few things. I've still got LL-K's scarf to work on, and I have embroidery stuff planned. But I also miss dolls. I need more stamina for them, particularly putting things away when I'm done each time. Taking photos requires stamina; posting the pics requires brain energy.
-- --- I've had inklings of wanting to reroot doll hair. I think it's the way it tickled my brain - the process of small, tedious work to bring about a big change. I have half-rooted projects, like MH Twyla. But again, there's a lot of equipment to take out and put away again each time I work.
-- I don't think I've ever felt this overwhelmed by touch-sensory stuff in all my life. Not on such a sustained, prolonged basis. It's so different than the anxiety symptoms I dealt with in high school and the depression of more recent years.
-- Logically, I'm okay with having to retreat, to turn back to hermit habits in order to rest and heal and recharge. But I'm sad that time keeps moving, feeling like I'm left behind a bit. I wonder about my fate with library volunteering.
-- I know resting is technically something that still requires effort. But my brain is not entertained while I rest. I just caught myself staring into the distance, and I could feel my pulse in my throat, a rhythm somewhere in my neck and head. It feels like an emotion will be tapped if I keep it up, getting misty eyes.
-- Moscow is snoring on the bed in the living room. I should go back to bed soon. Must drink more beverage before I go, though. Always thirsty, always.
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fullregalia · 11 months ago
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and i took that personally.
I actually was going to use this headline for 2022, but (Taylor’s Version) seemed a better fit at the time, and looking back on ’23, well, I really did take this year personally. 
One charge I am not beating is that I quote The Tempest every time I write about the ups and downs of aging: “Nothing ... doth fade, / But doth suffer a sea-change / Into something rich and strange.” However I’ve yet to find something that captures how bizarre life is better than the phrase “rich and strange.” This year was certainly no different. If you couldn’t tell from the abstruse posts about feeling insecure online, I definitely Went Through It (or at least lower case went through it, lest I be too overly dramatic here) with a strange friendship with a semi-notable person this year. It burned bright and fast and like all other normies who come into the orbit of people with a modicum of notoriety, even if you can hang, it hurts to get dropped for a shiny new thing. The best thing for me to do was to step away from Twitter in August and never look back. Sometimes I miss knowing what stupid thing is going on online (#GagCity) however, if I ever get around to finishing my novel, it’s great fodder for plot. (“How do you serve cunt in a roman à clef way?”)
Besides that personal drama, which wasn’t too bad (frankly, I just got caught up in a one-sided friend crush that took up a majority of Qs 2 and 3), the year was filled with so many interesting things: The movies are back, baby! Country music’s revival won me over. I went to Germany, Switzerland, England, Ireland, and I met a special needs Alpaca named Waffles in Litchfield, CT. Succession ended (RIP Kendall I could fix u), and The Bear’s Copenhagen episode made me cry. I read 30 books, and not all of them were garbage (though some of them truly were). I discovered a brown butter buttermilk cake recipe that I can't quit. It felt like live events were properly in the mix again too; I was able to convince more people to go to Cyclones games with me, but I’m still hitting up Lincoln Center solo (don't men know this is a big date flex??). And how could I not brag about seeing my favorite artist, Ed Ruscha, in the flesh at the opening night of his retrospective at MoMA. But I’ll get into all of that and more below. 
Since this annual recap is not a tradition I’m willing to step away from and never look back (yet), here are my highlights of 2023: 
Books
Thanks to my SAD in the winter, I plowed through the bigger novels in Q1 (e.g., Confederacy of Dunces, I Have Some Questions For You, Birnam Wood). Though the best books I read this year were slimmer like Big Swiss, Cleopatra and Frankenstein, and Trespasses. I believe someone tried to trendcast this, but I think short books have been a thing since ... checks notes ... people started reading? I am still trying to figure out if I cared about The Guest, but I suppose a sense of low-lying dread and hating the narrator meant it worked. I tried to add more urban history into the hold list (NYC, LA, and Palo Alto), but couldn’t get through the latter two before year-end so that’s going on next year’s reading challenge. Seeing as I do LA every January anyway, I’ll save the California books for the West Coast.
I’m a little disappointed that there weren’t many novels I couldn’t put down this year. But I really did focus on contemporary fiction and I think next year I should spend more time on both nonfiction and “canonical” works that I still haven’t gotten around to yet. That is, it may be time to start reading like my dad.
Music
If Spotify is to be believed (it is), I was in.my.feelings. this year (I was). My erstwhile friend crush was a huge Country head, and I am grateful that brief friendship brought more Country--both classic and contemporary--into my life. (I have joked that women will inhale an entire discography/filmography/oeuvre in a weekend for a crush, but honestly show me the lie.) I’ve always been into Americana and bluegrass, but it was good to dig deeper into true country. At the pottery studio I would start with Johnny Cash and just let the algo take it from there for the next 3 - 4 hours. Beyond the musicians I was already listening to a lot (John Prine, Willie Nelson) I listened to more Townes Van Zandt, Nikki Lane, Jess Williamson, and Tyler Childers. 
But of course my top artists were the same as every year: Coltrane, Paul Simon, Prokofiev, Steely Dan. Dean Wareham came up huge for me because I think I played “The Last Word” maybe 400 times this year. You get to the 2:53 mark with the sun shining on Memorial Day Weekend? That’s heaven on earth.
Music was my sanity this year more than it usually is. I had my sad playlist (Jeff Buckley, The Smiths, SZA) for the myriad breakup walks; my Drake playlist for running; my jazz playlist for cooking; and my work party afterparty playlist was even dowloaded by the bar for future use because I spent HOURS figuring out the best arrangement of Beyoncé into Fleetwoord into Dua and they got it. 
I also spent a lot of time behind the wheel with the windows down listening to prog rock, too. Told you I was going through it.
Movies
As the year progressed, my already incoherent listening habits became very movie-forward. That is, I started putting on more movie soundtracks to work to (Nebraska hive we stay riding!! Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross run me over with a truck!!!) and I basically only ended up listening to podcasts about movies (Big Pic, Blank Check, Rewatchables). But the synergy between music and movies was strong this year, as evidenced by the thrilling re-issue of Stop Making Sense and the Eras/Renaissance films. (As always, I implore you to listen to Wesley Morris about everything, forever.)  
After leaving Twitter, Letterboxed became my primary Social Network (lol). Thankfully it’s helping me keep track of what I watched this year. I did a lot of back-list catching up: I watched all the Miyazaki Studio Ghibli films in time to catch The Boy and the Heron the week after I got to The Wind Rises. In no particular order, my favorites: American Fiction, Oppenheimer, No Hard Feelings, Fallen Leaves, Past Lives, Maestro (but that’s because of Lydia Tàr), and because I quite sensibly spent most of this year catching up on Tom Cruise’s entire filmography, Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning, pt. I. This man will do anything to save cinema! I love it!!!!
The Lawyer Movie Draft match up of Blank Check and Big Pic was one of my favorite podcast episodes of the year. I definitely re-watched The Firm and The Pelican Brief after it. Luv u too, Michael Clayton.
Odds & Ends
My two goals this year were to leave NYC once a month and see a concert/show once a month. I was close to 100% on both, which was nice. If you go to Dublin, be sure to check out Bar 1661. I had an amazing lunch at this Italian place in Bern, Switzerland. If you are in London, I demand you go to Fortitude Bakehouse. As always, the BEC on a croissant at Arethusa is a religious experience. And Zapp’s chips + oysters + wine + this view in Maine = I can die happy. 
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I saw three live podcast tapings--my second time seeing both Odd Lots and Who? Weekly and my first time seeing How Long Gone (I’m not proud of it, but I love those two bros and John Early was a great guest). Relatedly, Kate Berlant's one woman show lived up to the hype and Just For Us made me laugh enough I told my folks to see it. I finally saw ABT do Romeo & Juliet at the Met, and there were too many classical concerts to count (highlights being: the Made in Berlin string quartet at Lydia Tàr's Berlin Philharmonic, the Emerson String Quartet performing Shostakovich No. 12, and Chamber Music Society presenting the full Brandenburg Concertos).
On the TV front, for what I lost in Succession this year, I look forward to getting back in Industry next year. My "Smooth Brain Award" for best background streaming goes to And Just Like That and Suits for being too dumb to function. A friend has promised to watch The Curse with me, but that has yet to materialize. At some point I'm going to have to get Apple TV back so I can finally watch the new season of Slow Horses, the first two seasons of which I binged in about a week in February.
Since I’m not actively tweeting, I’m going to put my in/out list here. I was actually on the money with some of my predictions from last year (all light yellow everything and bankruptcy is chic again) however none of you fools got on the “friends holding hands in an 1800s novel way” and I didn’t see enough old bay fries at the bar to make me happy. Let’s see if I can improve my trend casting odds for 2024:
IN: robin’s egg blue, Acting Like You've Been There, cassis and soda, Harvey Wallbangers, Meg Ryan's curly hair in When Harry Met Sally, pretending you know how to sail, whistleblowing, marbled paper, voice notes.
OUT: hard seltzer, oversize blazers, Substack, the pop punk revival, calling things “transcendent,” renter’s insurance, engagement announcements on social media (just get married), Reykjavik, Threads.
I’m probably wrong on all fronts! This take on my predictions is likely also my mantra for 2024. Happy New Year, and to the two to three people who read this whole thing, may it bring you peace and prosperity. Praying the world becomes a little easier to be alive in next year, though I’m not sure that’s how things work these days. If I don’t abandon this effort entirely next year, I’ll be sure to recount what rich and strange experiences came about...
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flatspot · 2 years ago
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quick post for the end of the year bc i'm still lurking here as per. while this has maybe been the worst season of f1 i've had to endure since 2016, at least we've all been fucking miserable together.
getting sappy with it. this was supposed to be under a cut but i'm on mobile and can't figure out how to do it. i'm too tipsy to care, sorry.
@fullwets we graduated from being unhinged about one thing to being unhinged about so many more terrible things. ur my best friend, the first and last person i speak to most days, we finally got to see each other this year and tbh any number of days is too many until i fly over. u make my life so much easier even when ur sometimes actively trying not to. ily. mis u. ur my favourite.
@amgroscoe we balance out each other's conspiracies. or we just egg each other on. i'm so glad we had our impromptu italy trip, one of the genuine highlights of this year. i miss our karaoke dance parties in the hotel rooms. norway in t-11 days, can't wait to freeze our asses off. one of the very few people in my life i've instantly felt comfortable around irl 🤍
@ultrasofts idk if i would have made it through this year without you. love u for being insane about lewis with me, and for dragging me down when i get a little too invested in Theories. i'm still holding out hope we're gonna make it to a gp this year or next year. or i'll just come invade your sofa bed. ur very important to me.
@oversteerey lol origin curator. your unhinged ramblings are going to keep me going once our idiots are actually in f1 together. we deserved so much more. cough. liam. and i can't describe how happy i get every time you rb our hockey boys. welcome to the bad side.
@alfalfatauri ily crow girls bubba. sleepy beepy. we're due another insanity session while scottie's asleep. i need us to start looking out for our alpaca farm we're all gonna go live on. pls kiss hazza on the forehead for me.
@josefnewgayden so indebted to you for teaching me everything i know about ps and gif making. and for forming the bonocule with us. most important gc i'm in tbh. still a little bit insane to me that the person who makes the ridiculous edits and gifsets is a friend now. here's crossing our fingers we get the thing we are all Really Really Hoping for this season.
okay i gotta go eat 12 grapes with the 12 bells of the new year for good luck apparently brb wish me luck so i don't choke
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figula · 1 year ago
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anyway in other news
today was pretty decent - ben got a case of the sads at about 9pm but actually recovered p fast and without any crying that i saw but he was in the bath for a bunch of the evening so i cannot verify this. the sad attacks are definitely getting more spread out + (i think from an outsider perspective) less intense. i genuinely think as well that we hadn't had sex in ages (ofc the week ana was away my period started so we didnt really bother) which made us both kind of :(
we had sex :) + read to each other. ben asked if we could do more reading out loud to each other at bedtime bc he really liked our matsuo basho reading. i liked it as well - i think i focused much better on teh words than i usually do - so ben picked a shortlist of books to read next (i haven't read a book in like 10y so there's no point me picking one) + i picked one from that + anyway we're reading "this is how you lose the time war" and im reading all of red's bits + he's doing blue. ill be honest... not fully sure about teh writing style... ben used the word florid as a compliment + i would use the same word, but as an insult lol. (very very representative of our characters i think) some of the sentences i really like but so far i cant feel much of a difference btwn red + blue - like if one of them wrote very floridly + one of them wrote very starkly i feel i'd appreciate that more bc you would be getting some insight into the characters but as it stands, the entire thing feels a bit like a creative writing exercise to me. we're not that far in tho so maybe it will capture me more as we go i should send ben some of my fanfic (look it's just a hobby) + see what he thinks lol
we played chess next to each other in bed :) he's been making some tentative little steps into learning / playing the game :)
i had intended on doing more work than i ended up doing but i think sometimes just spending hours and hours with your partner doing not much is the best way to spend a saturday
ana is back now! i forgot to say yesterday but they are back :) i did miss them a lot! whenever we're apart i yearn and pine
god, also! i forgot to say the other day but i needed something to watch while i cleaned my alpaca the other day + settled on red white and royal b lue + it was the tropiest shit ive ever seen in my life. i dont know if it's bc the author (it's an adaptation) comes from fanfic or bc the fanfic style has become indistinguishable from YA style more generally these days but it was kind of nuts to me how much the film could have just been a collection of AO3 tags?? im not even bashing fanfic bc i ahve written it since i was a kid and some fanfic is better than some published work and it's all a rich tapestry. HOWEVER this film was just crazy in its ... nothingness?? it was a perfectly fine watch i guess if you're looking for a princess diaries-y gay romance + god knows there are enough sugary romance films about straight people and those cut from the rainbow cloth also deserve their fair share of merry dross but yeah i was just surprised!! idk
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somasean · 2 years ago
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One Day. - Cove Holden
content: fluff, indirect kissing if you squint, cove being cove
an: I've got cove brainrot and haven't felt this happy to have a character like this since i first watched howl's moving castle. also, this is inspired by my sappy drafts that i let my friend sam read over and then had google randomly pick a number for.
♤♤♤♤
'Ugh, it shouldn't be this hard. You've known other for years now. Just say it already.' Your erased your current message and stared down at your phone screen, harshly illuminating your face in the extremely dim room. The phone's cursor stared just as intensely back at you, waiting for you find a message that would be the perfect balance between a slight forcefulness and playful teasing. You didn't want to scare Cove away.
Not that he'd be scared off by your advances anyway. Sure, he was timid and shy when it came to his true - romantic, or as he called it, "friends but better" - feelings. You've come to enjoy seeing his face light ablaze whenever you would do something as simple as graze your hand down his back or domestic as call him "honey." You'd never dream of making him uncomfortable or rushing him, but boy did you want him to do something other than just holding your hand.
You've known each other for a decade now. A painfully short and blissful 10 years. And in all of those years the most you've done is kiss him when you were 13. The memory crawls its way back to the front of your mind sometimes and you can't help but let out a snicker at his reaction each time.
Man. He truly was the sweetest person you've known throughout your life but he was also the most annoying sometimes.
You chewed on your bottom lip and watched the time on your phone's notification bar tick away. You had to say something soon, otherwise it would become too "socially unacceptable" to send a message. Who even decided that messages needed to be replied to in a set amount of time anyway?
Yet another message was typed out and then quickly deleted. It shouldn't be this hard. Maybe you should just type out what you mean, send it, and then prepare plans to move away to the Appalachian mountains if he reacted too badly? You could learn to live with the cold, it wouldn't be anywhere near as bad as potentially sending one of the few people you really knew away.
You closed your eyes and typed out an approximate of your message, hoping autocorrect wouldn't turn its back against you. You scanned over his previous message a multitude of times - four? maybe five times, keeping track is tough - to ensure you said everything you needed to in one message. Who thought that double texting could be considered a social death sentence?
'Cove 🦈: haha, you put chapstick on so much i swear it's rubbed off onto me. not that i mind though, youve got a lot of good smelling ones
hey, wait!
you should let me borrow one sometime! i'll always carry it on me as well in case you ever forget yours.'
To Cove, this was probably didn't register as anything other than a friendly gesture. You had the half the mind to climb into his room instead, say something along the lines of "if you wanted to kiss that much, you could just ask" and watch him as he sputters trying to recover.
You'd spare the boy the embarrassment.
This time.
"Next time, Holden." One thumb hovered over the send button and the other was latched between your teeth, the nail far too short to bite down on now anyway.
"Fuck it." You don't know what happened first. Your finger finally pressing send or your hand covering your eyes as if you were the unwilling victim of a flash photo.
Was it too late to unsend it? Maybe you could sneak into his room and delete it if he were asleep. You could learn to knit warm sweaters from alpaca wool and scavenge the Appalachian forests if you needed to.
Can you say you lost your phone? Would he even believe that? Maybe say you left it at the beach and-
A quiet chime and quick buzzing brought all of your thoughts to a halt. Your hand flew away from your face and you struggled to input your passcode. There was only one reason your phone would go off this late. Your message stared back at you.
'i swear you are going to kill me that's literally just complicated kissing
it might not be today. it might not be tomorrow. but one day, cove james holden. one day im gonna kiss you and you wont be able to do anything about it >:-('
He had seen it. The double check marks were enough indication of that, yet there wasn't a reply. Your eyes darted around your screen looking for the source of the buzzing before you saw a small email symbol staring back at you, calling the notification bar its home.
You closed your eyes tightly and pulled your blanket to your chest. What else do you need to live in such harsh climates? You could become a local legend, a myth that's used to teach kids to behave and mind their manners. At least you wouldn't be left on read in fairytales.
You almost didn't hear the tapping at your window or the creak of someone inviting themself in. The feeling of someone sitting on the edge of your bed didn't register until their hand reached out towards yours and removed your phone from your grasp.
"Taking a vacation without me?"
Cove's all too familiar laugh filled your room and for a split second yout were going to tell him to keep it down, that you were too busy sulking, before the realization hit you.
Was your message really that bad that he'd come to laugh at you in person? He was going to help you pack your bags for sure. There was no other logical reason why he'd be here.
Maybe it was a stroke of luck that the moon broke through a cloud or maybe Cove just lit up the room that much, but you could make out the faint traces of a blush forming on his fsce. It slowly spread from the bridge of his nose to the tips of his ears.
"Uh." He cleared his thought and gave you a small smile thst signaled that he was trying. "Aha..." One of his hands tangled itself in his overly messy hair and the other crept ever close towards you. He was avoiding your gaze and you couldn't decipher if it was between him finding a way to end all contact with you or if he wanted something else with your sleep deprived mind.
As you were about to say something, anything to break the tension, Cove's hands pulled away from their current mindless task and he balled them into a small fist. To anyone else, this was sure of been terrifying, especially with the suddenly determined look etched onto his features.
Oh the duality of man. The duality of Cove Holden actually.
"I always like how the cherry chaptsticks smell when you use them. I'd like to use one. My lips are," His hands began to flex as if he were playing with a stress ball.
Opening. Stretching out. Closing. Repeat.
Maybe Cove wasn't gonna be the reason you became a local cryptid afterall. "Chapped. And it looks so much more useful when you're the one wearing it so..."
This man was going to be the death of you though.
Your hands found their ways towards Cove in the dim room and you pulled him close. Maybe it was the fact you two were in an actual realtionship that made it much more tense, two adults alone in a dark room, or the chance to finally kiss Cove but you were sure anyone passing by would mistake your heartbeats for a something as loud as plane rutters.
"It's a good thing I'm always stocked up then." You closed the gap between you two and let your hands rest in Cove's disaster of bedhead.
Maybe not today, but one day.
One day, you're going to kiss Cove Holden as much as you want and he'd have no choice but to enjoy your affection.
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stutterfly · 4 years ago
Text
Tricks of the Trade | MYG (M)
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Shared as part of the Similarly Sequestered game with @kpopfanfictrash​, @underthejoon​, @fortunexkookie​, @gukslut​ and me!
Rating: M (Explicit 18+)
Word Count: 24.1K Prompt: “The FBI doesn’t care about your porn preferences.” {Body Swap AU, Soulmates AU}
Genre: Fluff, humor, smut, oneshot
Summary: The convenience store across the street from your apartment carries your favorite energy drink. That's why you frequent it. It's definitely not because you have a big fat crush on the owner you've been flirting with for the better part of a year. Of course your brand of flirting can also be misconstrued as bickering. When a strange man wanders into the store, he thinks you need a little nudge to embrace the strings connecting you. Next thing you know you're waking up in a body that definitely doesn't belong to you. You can't decide if it's the best or worst thing that's ever happened to you.
CW & Other Tags: Anxiety attacks, language, oral sex, unprotected sex, nipple play, fingering, Agent of Chaos Jin, shopkeeper Yoongi, idiots to lovers, frenemies to lovers, bodyswap shenanigans
Pairings: Yoongi x Reader
Posted on June 23, 2020 by stutterfly and cross-posted to Ao3. I do not allow reposting, translations, or edits, to this or any other platform, including YouTube.
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The bell at the top of the door jingles as another customer walks into the store, but you pay them no mind. You’re already scanning the refrigerated drinks section for the third time, scouring the rows of cans and bottles for your beverage of choice. There’s only one kind of energy drink you want but its usual location is barren. Desperate to find what you’re searching for, you squat down to look behind the other drinks in the fridge.
“You’re not going to find any.”
The familiar, disinterested drawl of the shopkeeper has you popping up from the floor to look over at him. He wears a green apron over a black tee and a pair of faded jeans. His back is to you so he doesn’t have to see your face when you complain. He reaches up to take off his baseball cap and runs his fingers through thick locks of ebony hair before returning the cap to his head. He spares a glance over his shoulder at you, knowing you’re watching him. He sighs loudly as he continues to stock nearby shelves with boxes of cereal.
When he opened this tiny shop across from your apartment about a year ago, you thought he was cute, but he’s always seemed cold to you. The gossips around town say he’s a bit scrawny, monotone and boorish, but you like his voice and you like his style. He must be intelligent if he started this business from nothing, especially at his age. Not many people in their late twenties can say they are as independent as Yoongi.
He has confidence and pride in his values. You’ve seen him tell rude people off without a second thought and kick people out for being racist towards other customers. He puts on a front to seem unapproachable but you’ve seen him give a carton of milk to a mother who didn’t have money to pay for it, and free candy to a group of kids on a rainy day. While he pretends to be an old grump who shuffles around his shop all day, you’ve seen him get the energy to sprint around the block after a shift and then collapse at the cafe tables next door. He’s weird. He’s honest. He’s kind-hearted. It’s easy to admire him.
He bends down to pick up more boxes, and you cock your head to the side to stare at the way his ass looks in those jeans. He’s also insanely attractive. It’s no wonder you still come in here every day.
The more you see of him, the more you feel you know him, and the more you’ve grown to like him. The problem is that your relationship with the shopkeeper has shifted into a weird territory you’re not sure how to escape from. It’s not that you hate each other, but it seems you can’t hold a conversation without getting on each other’s nerves. Either you’re always saying the wrong thing or he’s pressing all the wrong buttons when he teases you.
At first you read his teasing as awkward flirting but for someone so blunt, you’ve convinced yourself he would have been straightforward and said the words out loud. I like you. Let’s get a drink. It would be easy for him to say, wouldn’t it? Despite trying to convince yourself he’s not interested, you can’t help but flirt with him at any opportunity to do so. However, you seem to forget how the moment he looks at you. It’s like your flirting skills took an exit down a shitty highway and now you’ve lost the GPS signal to navigate back to civilization.
Talking with Yoongi has become an ache you can’t seem to give up so you’ll take whatever excuse you can to keep doing so. That usually takes the form of you poking fun at one another until you hurt your own feelings. Sometimes you spend the remainder of a day thinking about the ways you can fix tomorrow’s fictitious conversation. You forgot how being infatuated with someone can make you feel so stupid. He’s not your life, just a part that you wish could be more prominent. It’s fine.
All you have to do is get your morning beverage and pastry before working your shift. Then you can focus on how nice it will feel to do nothing all weekend and catch up on TV shows.
“So…. What did you do with it? Are you hiding them from me today?” You quickly snap your eyes to his face as he twists his body to look up at you.
He scoffs. “Not me. College kids came through last night and cleared them out.”
“But you know I always get one,” you pout, crossing your arms like it’s going to make a difference.
He turns his attention back to his task, slowly stacking the boxes in silence before he clicks his tongue. “So? I can’t just hide stuff for you, you know.”
“Don’t you have more in the back? You’ve never run out of Hot6 before.”
He laughs to himself. “This isn’t a warehouse. I have to wait for product to arrive before I can restock. Just get a Red Bull. It tastes the same.”
You crinkle your nose at him. “It does not.”
He crosses the store with a roll of his eyes and a loud sigh. Before long he’s back at the register and sipping on his iced americano. “Whatever. Why do you care? It’s easier if you develop a taste for espresso. Then you don’t have to worry about that kind of thing. Besides, energy drinks aren’t that great for you, you know.”
You make a sound of disgust as you sulk your way over to the pastry cabinet. “Jeez. Do you always have to have such a stick in your ass? You act like coffee is so much better for you.”
“More caffeine, less sugar. I guarantee you it’s better,” he says with a smack of his lips against his straw.
“Whatever, Grandpa. Hmm... Muffin, muffin, muffin…” you quietly chant to yourself as your eyes rake over the racks in search of your daily pastry fix. Today seems to be against you: no muffins.
“We’re out of those too,” he says. “You know you could stand to change up your routine. Don’t you get sick of getting the same things every day?”
You bite your lip and look over the case of pastries, grabbing a simple croissant. “I like my routine, but I guess I could always stop coming here.”
“If that’s what you want.” He sighs dramatically as he leans over the counter, resting on his elbows as he surveys the store. “Well, I could enjoy a quiet morning for once.”
You roll your eyes.“Pfft. You like to argue, so I know you’d miss me.”
There’s a squeaky laugh from behind one of the shelves and as your attention shifts to the sound, a young man with dusty pink hair pokes his head up. He must be rather tall if he’s able to look over the aisles. You quirk an eyebrow at his strange laughter and wonder what kind of stranger could be so entertained by the pair of you.
“Sorry. It’s just…” He holds up a card that neither of you can really make out at this distance. “On the front it says ‘It’s Your Birthday?’ and inside it says ‘Alpaca my party hat!’. Ha! And there’s this pop-up of the alpaca with a bandana and party hat.” He giggles again as he opens and closes the card a few times and waves his hand. “Sorry. Sorry. You can continue flirting now.”
“This is not—” Your breath catches in your throat and you have to take a moment to swallow down your embarrassment before turning back towards Yoongi. “Can you believe this guy?”
He’s in the middle of taking a bite from a half-eaten muffin when your eyes meet his guilty ones. Your jaw falls open as he slowly chews and rings you up, placing the remainder of the pastry back down on the counter.
“You took the last one?”
“I had a craving.” He shrugs.
“You knew I would want it and you took it so I couldn’t have it,” you guess in a playful tone. “Was your aim to make me suffer double today? You’re so cruel, Yoongi.”
He pauses to poke his tongue against his cheek as he handles your change. “It’s not like I planned it. Don’t make me out to be some bad guy.”
“Bad guy. Tch. No, I wouldn’t go that far.” You lean forward, planting your hands on the counter and ensuring a clear sightline into your shirt. “I think you just like getting under my skin.”
He bristles at your words, taking the bait and dropping his gaze to the lace exposed for his eyes. He licks his lips and lazily lets his eyes drift back to your face, his expression unreadable. “Maybe that’s true.”
You cock your head and smirk as you stand up straight, your ego slightly inflated. “Is it really so hard to be nice to me? I’m nice to you.”
“Hah!” He breaks into an amused grin. “When?”
You’re taken aback by his response. Surely you’ve been obvious with your infatuation up to this point. You scoff. “Wha- All the time!”
His brows furrow and he crosses his arms with the change still trapped in his palm. “So complaining is a form of politeness now? Then I should be grateful for how often you shower me with kindness.”
“You know I do more than complain! I complain because you complain to me!” you pout, pointing your finger at him. “Maybe we could talk about something meaningful if you ever cared enough to ask.”
His eyebrows raise with the pitch of your voice. It’s not a big deal. This is stupid. You’re overreacting because you like him. You know he’s fucking with you so why is your face still getting hot? Even if he’s joking, he’s planted the seed in your mind that he sees you as a grumpy customer. He’s clearly never thought of you as anything but a negative start to his day. You’ve seen him be sweet but right now he feels as bitter and cold as the coffee he drinks.
“What do you think of this?” the pink-haired stranger asks, donning a pair of thick black frames with orange-tinted lenses.
The man cuts the tension from the room for a brief moment. Yoongi stares at him, his lip curled up in disgust as he slowly shakes his head. When his eyes travel back to yours they seem full of apprehension. Your name rolls off his tongue as though it’s an apology.
“Don’t ‘Y/N’ me. Just give me my change,” you grumble, reaching up for his palm.
His grip is impossible to penetrate. He smiles as you struggle to work your fingers beneath his, shaking his head like you’ve revealed some embarrassing secret. Heat builds in your face the longer you stand there fidgeting with his hand. You feel like a fool.
“You’re obnoxious. Let me count it out first,” Yoongi sneers while trying to pull his hand back.
“It’s fine.” You roll your eyes and yank his hand towards you. “I don’t need you to count it.”
“You know what I think you need?”
The other customer leans beside the counter, a new pair of glasses on his face that are twice as hideous as the first pair. As you turn to look at the stranger you can see the pair of you reflected in hues of red and yellow in those disturbingly 90s opaque lenses. It almost looks like you’re holding hands. You stiffen at the sight but keep your fingers locked against Yoongi’s calloused ones as you focus on the pricetag dangling across the man’s nose.
The stranger slowly moves a closed fist above the place where your hand and Yoongi’s meet. He waits a few seconds until you’re both focused on his hand before a flash of silver falls from his palm. You almost mistake the shapes for identical necklaces until they untangle and rotate to reveal two halves that form a heart.
The fluorescent lights of the store highlight the engraved text on each. One says ‘BEST’ while the other half reads ‘FRIENDS’. The faux-metal irritates your neck the moment you think about it touching your skin. The chains appear fragile and cheap, like they might break at the slightest amount of tension. If this guy thinks you’re going to take these he must be delusional.
You exchange a quizzical look with Yoongi as the necklaces dangle between you. He’s distracted enough that you’re able to pry your change from his sweaty palm.
“Uh. No thanks,” you say, shoving the coins in your pocket before grabbing your croissant. You take a moment to regard Yoongi with a scowl, cocking your head to the side. “See you, Grandpa.”
The stone in his gut sinks as he watches you leave but he forces his attention to the pink haired stranger in the obscenely reflective glasses.
“You know, I think she likes you,” he whispers with a wink.
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It’s been a long day but at least you don’t have to go out tomorrow. You’ve already changed into your favorite pair of comfy shorts but as you move to unbutton your work shirt something smacks against your chest. Did something get trapped in your cleavage?
“What the fuck?”
As you look down your stomach does a somersault. There’s a necklace draped around your neck with a half-broken heart pendant, etched with the word ‘BEST’. How did that guy sneak this ugly thing onto you? How did you not feel it until now? Maybe he’s some sort of street magician. Your shock is accompanied by a chuckle as you reach behind your neck to fidget with the clasp. Spinning the chain between your fingertips, you soon realize there isn’t one. This thing feels like a dollar store trinket, so you curl your fingers around the charm and pull down with all of your might. It remains secure around your neck no matter how hard you tug.
Your mind begins to break into a panic. What the fuck? What the fuck. What. The actual. Fuck.
You quickly throw on a pair of sneakers and nab the keys hanging near the door on your way out of the apartment. It's hard to believe the speed at which your feet carry you down the several flights of stairs. A couple scrambles out of the way as they watch your frenzied descent. Before long you're pressing the entirety of your body against the familiar door of the convenience store across the street.
The clerk looks up from his phone, his dark eyebrows raised in surprise as you stumble past the threshold. Your body nearly folds in half as you plant your hands on your knees and struggle to catch your breath.
"Are you alright?"
You force yourself to stand up straight to address the man standing behind the counter. The word is devoid of conviction as it leaves your mouth. "Yeah."
You know him as Tae, one of Yoongi's part-time employees. Yoongi offered him a job when he heard him say he was looking for work to supplement his endeavors to put himself through art school. You’ve seen him a lot, spoken a little here and there, and he even knows you by name now. If he's here, it's probable that his boss is not. You sigh loudly in an attempt to relieve some of the panic and frustration built up in your brain. It's not like you can just ask Tae to give you Yoongi’s number.
Tae’s wide-eyed stare indicates his concern for your well being but it’s not until he drags his gaze across your body and purses his lips that you feel something is amiss. It's at this point that you realize how much the air conditioner billows the fabric of your work shirt. Goosebumps form along your calves as all of the blood in your body rushes to your face. You quickly cross your arms over your chest to conceal the half-unbuttoned shirt and the bra that pokes out from beneath it. There’s little you can do to cover the expanse of your legs while wearing such form-fitting shorts.
“I was just… checking to see if you have any Hot6,” you say with barely a glance in the direction of the refrigerator section. “But it’s clear you’re still out.”
Tae raises his eyebrows and grants you a subtle, uncertain nod as your eyes settle on the door that reads ‘EMPLOYEES ONLY.’
“Is your boss here?” you blurt, reaching for the chain around your neck. “I’ve got a—”
Your stomach drops. It’s gone. Both of your hands instinctively smack at your collarbones, like frantically patting against your flesh will cause the necklace to reappear. You hold your shirt open wide enough to peer down at the skin of your chest with a concentrated gaze, eyes begging for any trace of the tacky piece of jewelry to resurface. Was it really just a figment of your imagination? You swear it was there. You felt it. You pulled on it. It had to be real.
You swallow hard and quickly bounce your eyes to the uncomfortable-looking cashier. All you can offer is a weak chuckle as you try to play it off by shaking out your shirt. “Sorry… I thought there was a bug."
There's an awkward, heavy silence between you as he nods with pursed lips. There's no way this poor guy believes your delusional ass. "Bossman's gone for tonight. Seemed kinda beat."
"Oh."
Your eyes settle on the countertop as your brain tries to rationalize what kind of unresolved issues at work are causing your mental breakdown. You stand there while spacing out, barely blinking. You can't believe you imagined that. Not knowing what to do, Tae walks his fingers towards the miniature cans of Red Bull stacked on the counter. He gracefully sweeps his hand around a can and offers it to you. That breaks you from your daze.
"It kinda tastes the same." He attempts to cut the tension with an endearingly awkward, close-mouthed smile. "My treat?"
If it were Yoongi saying such a thing you might scowl and tell him that he must be delusional if he thinks they're the same. Tae is a much kinder soul. You find yourself softening at his suggestion and shake your head.
"You know I should probably lay off the energy drinks now that I think about it," you say. "Have a good night, Tae."
"Goodnight, Y/N!" he calls after you as you wander back through the door. He leans over the counter. "Oh, hey wait! Do you want me to let bossman know you were looking for him?"
"It's fine!" you shout back on autopilot. You're already sinking into a pool of your own thoughts as the door closes behind you.
It was not fine.
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Sleep does not come easy despite your exhaustion. You find yourself tossing and turning all night. When the light begins to stream through your blinds it seems to strike at the perfect angle to blind your fluttering eyes. You pull the blankets up over your head even though you know it’s of no use; you’re already awake and there’s no going back to sleep now.
You stretch out with a yawn as you sleepily shuffle from the bed to the tiny bathroom around the corner of your room. It’s easy to apply toothpaste to your toothbrush on autopilot, taking a moment to rub your knuckles against an eye before glancing up towards the mirror. How bad is the bedhead today?
The sight that greets you causes you to drop your toothbrush in the sink and stumble back out of the doorway. Your fingers grip the frame to keep you on your feet, your attention quickly drawn to the thick digits situated there. As you force yourself forward, you support yourself with one hand on the counter and bring the other up for inspection. The foreign hand trembles as you turn it back and forth while trying to catch the breath that keeps running away from you. Anxiety sinks its teeth deeper into your lungs, causing a puncture that has you gasping for air.
Calluses adorn your fingertips, accompanied by scratches and scars from moments you've never experienced. Your nails are jagged and short, devoid of the pleasing pink color you applied to them two days ago. You dread the journey your eyes threaten to make towards the mirror once again but you find that you are unable to stop them. The face staring back at you with saucer-wide eyes is none other than Min Yoongi.
Your head feels light. This face is fake. You gasp for the air you can't seem to get enough of and stumble out of the bathroom. The walls seem to wobble in place as you race towards the living room where you can feel the breeze flowing through the window you left open last night. This world is fake. Nothing is real. Air will fix this. If you could just breathe like a normal person everything would be okay.
You fall to your knees within spitting distance of the window. For all the air your body greedily sucks inward, your mind feels bereft of any. Your vision goes dark.
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Yoongi does his best to make his way up the stairs with poise, but he's almost sure it looks like a waddle more than anything. His thighs --your thighs-- are chafing from the run here and each step is a painful reminder of the irritated flesh still rubbing together beneath these sweatpants. At least one of your neighbors was kind enough to let him into the main entrance. They must have recognized the face he mysteriously woke up with. Luckily your mailbox has your last name on it and as much as you might disagree he does pay attention when you talk.
He tries to wipe the sweat from his brow as he bends down to plant his hands on his knees. Even as his breath recovers, he grows increasingly frustrated with how heavy his chest feels. He repeatedly pushes the hair from his face with a groan, wishing he had taken the scissors to it when he had the opportunity earlier. He takes off the cap atop his head, runs his fingers through his hair, and places it back on his head. Everything is too much. You need to fix this. Take it back.
The faster he tries to ascend the stairs, the more he aches. He finally gives up on looking civil when he decides there's no one else in the stairwell to judge him. After all they'll only remember you anyway so what does it matter? He rolls the sweatpants up above his knees and cups the breasts hidden beneath the oversized sweater for support as he scrambles up the last few floors.
He grimaces at the dainty pink fingernails before curling his hand into a fist and rapping his knuckles against your door. He puffs his cheeks out and expels a long breath. What could you possibly be doing? You have to be in there. He tries the handle to no avail. Are you still asleep? He quickly abandons the need for subtlety and places both palms on the door and drums loudly against it. The sound of the deadbolt unlocking tells him he shouldn't hesitate. He's through the door before you can even properly get off your knees.
Somehow you knew what would be waiting for you on the other side. The sight before you has your mind reeling. That's your body, but it's not you. Could it really be Yoongi? You did not get Freaky-Friday'd with him. There's no fucking way this is reality. You can feel yourself panicking again as you back away from the figure, falling back on your ass. You watch yourself look down at you with a look of disgust.
"What are you doing?" That's definitely your voice.
Your body takes slow steps towards you as it crosses one arm over the other. You lean back on your elbows and groan. It's a deep sound, deeper than anything that's come from your throat even on your sickest day. This isn’t happening.
"Oh my god. I'm fucking dying," you murmur while tilting your head towards the ceiling. "Everything is fake. Nothing is real. I’m going crazy. Please let me rot."
The figure bends down and leans over into your field of vision. The image of your face frowns back at you and pokes you in the chest with a pointed fingernail.
“Stop that.”
“I can’t,” you whine between heavy breaths. “I feel like I’m gonna pass out again.
“Y/N. Look at me.”
Those perfectly manicured hands reach out for your shoulders in comfort but you fall flat on your back and your arm flies up to cover your eyes.Tears sting at them as reality warbles around you again. Seeing your own face hovering above you definitely isn’t helping you feel more sane.
"I don't know what's happening," you sob.
With each breath you suck between your quivering lips, your chest aches. Suddenly that pair of hands is cupping your jaw and pushing your arm aside. You look into the eyes you are already so familiar with, but they seem far more caring than you’ve ever managed to display.
"We need to undo whatever is happening right now," he says calmly. "You don't have to like it. You don't have to tell me you're okay. But I need you to sit up and pull yourself together long enough to help me figure this out. Can you do that?"
You swallow hard and nod slowly as you take the hand offered to you. A half-smirk appears on his lips; it's strange to see yourself reflected with such warmth, especially knowing it's coming from Yoongi.
"Good. Now please go change. I can't look at those shorts anymore.”
You look down at your attire for the first time and realize how absurd Yoongi’s body looks in the clothing you wore to bed. The skimpy tank top clings to the muscular, flat chest you now possess. Worse still, you can see bits of flesh poking out against that hairy inner thigh below. You squeeze your eyes shut and pretend like you can forget what you just saw sticking out of your shorts.
You take a deep breath as your face burns with embarrassment. “Okay. Give me your pants.”
He stiffens at your demand and scoffs. “What?”
“I don’t have anything that will fit you— er, I mean, me. Us?” You gesture at your body and stare at the floor, trying to will yourself to not dissociate. “This. You can’t be comfortable either.”
There’s a sigh before he plops down on your couch with legs spread wide open. “My back hurts and my thighs rubbed together so much I don’t want to move anymore.”
You can’t help but laugh at the admission. At least he feels your pain. He looks up at you while reclining his head on the cushion behind him. You’re not hyperventilating anymore so distraction seems to be the key to keeping you relatively calm.
“Why you, of all people?” he wonders.
You roll your eyes and stomp across the room and disappear into your bedroom. “Hmph. I was about to ask you the same thing. This is bullshit.”
You come back with a handful of carefully selected clothes and strappy undergarments that you know for a fact flatter your shape. If he has to walk around in your skin the least he can do is make it look good. You pause halfway down the hall and swallow hard as it dawns on you that he’s going to have to get naked in order to change, which means he’s unavoidably going to be looking at your body without any barriers. You decide you’re going to be strong and you simply won’t think about it or acknowledge it as a possibility.
He’s busy chewing one of your nails when you reach the living room again. You hug the clothes close to your chest and storm across the room.
“Do you bite your nails?! Ew! God, no wonder yours are so jagged and gross,” you complain, thrusting the clothes into his lap.
He offers an apologetic look before glancing down at the attire you’ve supplied with raised eyebrows. He picks up the bra with one finger and grimaces at the way it dangles off his digit. He’s looking up at you with pleading eyes shortly after it falls back in his lap. It’s hard to avoid his gaze. You feel those pupils boring into your skull as you dart your eyes away to focus on the floor.
You clear your throat and muster every last bit of courage you possess. “Um… Your clothes, please?”
He inhales loudly through his nose and you watch the grey sweatpants pool around the toenails you just painted last night. You swallow hard and scramble to pick them up when they slide across the wooden floor to you. You clutch them to your chest, quickly catching the scent of your sweat and arousal on them. Maybe he hasn’t noticed? Trying to suppress the mortification growing in your chest, you purse your lips and trail your gaze back up to his face--your face. Thankfully the hoodie covers your sex and you’re hoping he hasn’t bothered taking a peek before coming here.
“Don’t… Don’t look,” you plead. So much for not acknowledging it.
He’s feeding his arm through one of the sleeves when he freezes in place and locks eyes with you. “I should tell you I woke up shirtless,” he mumbles. As if to lessen the blow of his admission, he continues with a pout, “But you can’t blame me for looking. It’s hard not to look at a pair of perfect tits that mysteriously appear in the middle of the night. What was I supposed to do?”
Perfect tits? You’d almost be flattered if it wasn’t so fucking morifying to know he’s already seen you. Your eyes screw shut and you nod. “Right.”
This is fine. This is absolutely fine.
“Hey,” he calls softly, prodding you to open your eyes. “Here.”
He keeps eye contact with you while feeding his other arm through the sleeve. Watching yourself strip without performing the act is bizarre. He holds the sweater out for you to slowly take. It eases your mind to see his gaze never wavered. Yours drops to the nude form before you and suddenly you’re criticizing every curve and flaw you can find. It’s as though you’re simply standing before a mirror and feeding your insecurity with needless scrutiny. Despite this, Yoongi remains focused on your face and the discomfort you display so openly at seeing your own form stripped bare. Almost bare. That beat-up baseball cap he wears every day now adorns your head like a crown for your mediocrity.
You spin on your heels and speedwalk down the hall. “I’ll be right back.”
It’s hard to ignore the new appendage you’ve acquired but you make sure to shut your eyes while peeling the shorts from your thighs and sliding the sweatpants up in their stead. While you rushed through the bottom half of your attire, you stop for a minute to inspect Yoongi’s bare pectorals. It’s all too easy to get lost in the sight of his body in the mirror. You subconsciously lick your lips and run your fingers across your flat, hard chest.
Your thumb circles a brown nipple and you watch with satisfaction as it grows hard at your touch. Your palms press down over your stomach, feeling the muscles hidden just below the surface of soft flesh. You grab at your hips, fingers threatening to dart below the band of your pants. Instead you suck air in through your nose and scold yourself for such weakness. You’re about to tug the sweater over your head when Yoongi silently enters and flops down on the bed face-first.
“Yoongi? Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?!” you shriek in your haste to cover up your own moment of weakness.
There’s a muffled response spoken into the mattress that you can’t quite understand.
"What?" Annoyance is a front for your embarrassment.
He turns his head to one side and sighs. "There are too many straps. Why did you pick such a difficult one?"
You definitely selected something with a lot of extra straps for a reason but you bite your lip and try to come up with an excuse that seems plausible. The truth is that you wanted to pick something sexy because you wanted him to see you as such. Does he care though? It's hard to tell. You decide the best excuse is to dismiss the question altogether.
"Stop being such a baby. I'll help you."
As he lifts his head to cringe in your direction, you're already out the door. He pounds his forehead against the mattress again and squeezes his eyes shut. There's clearly no logical explanation for this, so what is the next step to take? What should the pair of you do? Is this permanent? There has to be a way to undo whatever has happened. In order to figure that out he's trying to piece together the source of this predicament. No matter how hard he wracks his brain for answers to the puzzle, there still seems to be pieces missing.
"Get up. Come on," you huff, tugging at his arm.
The sound he makes is pitiful and whiny as he rises. It's easy enough to see where his arms are supposed to go when you've already bunched all of the material together. You step behind him and fiddle with the fit around the familiar mounds of flesh at his front. He instinctively looks down to watch how his own familiar fingers slide beneath the bra. He pries his eyes away just as quickly to find he has a much better view of the pair of you in the mirror.
There's a sight he'd never thought he'd see: both of you shirtless with his hands in your bra. It's not that he's never wanted it. It's just that he always seems to fuck it up when it comes to being social, with you in particular. Maybe it's because he likes you too much. There's never been a proper opportunity to make a move outside of work and he knows his flirting skills are abysmal. But looking at the reflection of the pair of you now fills him with equal amounts of desire and confidence.
Just as you’re about to clasp the first strap behind his neck you glance up and find yourself lost in the same reflection. An electric blush creeps up your spine and causes a tingle in your cheeks that makes you freeze like a deer caught in headlights. He hums a soft sound and makes the decision to reach back for your wrist. For a moment you’re not sure if you’re moving or if he is but you find yourself enjoying the sight of Yoongi’s thick fingers dipping below the fabric of your bra.
“Yoongi?” you ask, jaw hanging slack as the bra slips a bit further down.
“Do you feel that?” The voice is quiet as he lets you trace fingers along the soft skin. “It pinches there.”
That pinch is a familiar one but you always tell yourself that’s the price of beauty. The straps chafe. The underwire digs into your ribs. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s the sexiest-looking thing you own so comfort be damned. You watch it slide further down to reveal one of your nipples in the reflection of the mirror; it’s impossible to look away. So much for him not looking anymore. You can’t blame him because it’s impossible for you to take your eyes off it too. The sight of Yoongi’s thick fingers trailing along the side of your breast sends a surge of excitement through your veins.
Goosebumps form a path where your fingers have traced and Yoongi exhales a shaky breath. The sound makes you chew on your bottom lip in contemplation. Is he feeling just as turned on right now? You try to remind yourself that the mirror is a lie. He’s not touching you. You’re touching him, regardless of how it looks. You can’t let your feelings cloud your judgement. It’s so fucking hard to think straight now that you’re together like this, not just because he’s here in your room but because he’s experiencing the unique arousal of his body while trapped in yours.
“Being a girl sucks. What am I supposed to do about it?” Your fingers tremble as you force your eyes to meet his in the mirror.
The action does not go unnoticed. He smirks and quirks a brow but chooses to let it slide without commenting. “Give me something easy and comfy.”
“But—” You hesitate. Do you really need to argue about this? You can’t explain it without admitting your feelings towards him. It seems like an inopportune time, more so than usual. It’s better if you can just shut the fuck up for two seconds and work on the important task at hand: figuring out how to get back to normal.
He immediately fills the gap with an objection of his own. “Why does it matter?”
“It doesn’t,” you say in the flattest tone you can muster.
He turns around to get a better read on your body language but you’re already rummaging through your drawers. You toss a sports bra with a front-facing zipper at him while you don the sweater and slip into the bathroom to relieve yourself. It’s best to avoid situations like that again if you can.
Yoongi takes this moment to inspect the room, crinkling his nose at the several empty cans of Hot6 stacked on top of your dresser. He brings a long manicured nail to his teeth and begins working it back and forth as he slides the folding closet door open with a finger. Much to his surprise your wardrobe is filled with t-shirts that look much more comfortable than the piece you previously selected. He’s quick to trade shirts and carefully replaces the clothing on the hanger before sitting on the edge of the bed and leaning back on his elbows. Comfy. Finally. His attention is drawn to the closed bathroom door. It’s been a while. Are you okay?
“You better not be passed out in there,” he whines, making sure to sound extra annoying for you.
The attempt to conceal the concern in his tone is successful but he’s happy you’re not able to see his worried expression. If you knew how badly he wants to freak out, you might actually start hyperventilating again. He’d like to avoid that. The door swings open and you exhale deeply. You’re not about to tell him you had to wait out the boner because then he’d probably make fun of you. He watches you take a few steps forward while wedging a nail between his teeth.
“Are you biting my fucking nails again?”
“Yup.”
You’re already scrambling across the bed and by the time he moves to shuffle backwards you have his wrists pinned against your soft comforter and you’re straddling his waist. Oh god. This is too fucking hot to be doing with him while he’s in your body. Abort. Abort!
It’s now that you note he’s wearing a soft cotton t-shirt you definitely did not pick out. “Yoongi, did you—”
“These clothes are better. Did you give me the most uncomfortable things you own just to make me suffer for stealing your muffin?”
Between the sports bra and the t-shirt he’s selected the curves of your body are lost to your eyes and your heart sinks. There goes any chance you had of him thinking your body is sexy. He’s expecting a tongue lashing but you sigh instead and release your hold on him, quickly climbing off his form before you can let your body get you into trouble. You search for the laptop that you know is hidden just beneath the covers near your pillows.
“Pfft. Look, maybe we can google what happened to us and not get Freaky Friday movie reviews. You wanna see if it works?”
He offers a half smirk in response and he’s quiet only for a second before he hums a sound of distaste. It’s an accusation and you know it. He quickly scoots back towards the pillows so he can sit beside you.
You scowl as you mistype your own password. “Ugh. What?”
“I’m just wondering why you’re so mad.”
“I’m not.”
You make sure to broadcast the fact that you’re definitely not mad by repeatedly tapping the delete key in a slow, deliberate motion.
“Why does your face look like that then?” he prods while folding his hands across his lap.
“Like what? You of all people should know that your face always looks this grumpy.”
As he rests his head against the fluffy material behind him, he lazily rolls his head towards you. “Y/N.”
You dramatically throw your head back against the pillows and mirror his stare. “Yoongi.”
“What is it?”
“It doesn’t matter,” you mumble.
“It clearly does,” he says with a roll of his eyes. “We have to work together to figure this out, so some honesty might be nice.”
You open the laptop and stare at the password screen for a moment with a longing sigh. “Fine. I look gross in those,” you admit with a brief glance at his attire. “You’re making me look like an unsexy blob.”
He scoffs. “What? Is that all? You’re being ridiculous. These clothes don’t matter at all. We both know what you look like underneath them. Honestly, you could be wearing a trashbag and still be sexy.”
“To whom?” You want to laugh at how absurd his explanation sounds. “What kind of lunatic would think that?”
He blinks slowly and raises his eyebrows with a calculated clench of his jaw. “Me. For starters.”
He’s stiff as he purses his lips and crosses his arms. He stares at the login screen, waiting for you to type your password. “And any sane man or woman with a pair of eyes and a brain.”
Your mouth falls open in disbelief mid-stroke. Was that a confession? Your head might as well be full of helium with how high you’re feeling. This has to be a dream. If the insane concept of switching bodies with Yoongi isn’t enough to solidify it, those words sure are. You have to be dreaming.
Your eyes remain locked onto the fingers now resting against the keys. “Do you really think that?”
“Yes.” The response comes quicker than expected but instead of giving you time to ruminate on it, he nudges you with his elbow. “Password.”
Your shoulders lift with a deep inhale through your nose and drop back down with the subsequent forceful exhale through your lips. What are you supposed to do with that information? You feel your consciousness try to lift into the aether. If you could only make it float back into your own body, you might have the courage to say something, anything. With your mind drifting away, your fingers move of their own accord as they type in the password to your laptop.
"Whoa, what the fuck is that?"
The video you'd left open last night starts up with a preview that brings you back to reality, but not fast enough.
"D-Don't look! It's private!" you screech.
Heat pulses through the veins along the sides of your forehead. Precious seconds have already been wasted by the time you frantically scramble to close the tab. He's seen the keywords in the search bar and the nastiest bits of that particular video. You're fucking mortified.
“I mean that’s definitely a couple privates," he jokes with a laugh. "You seriously just leave your porn out like that?"
”Incognito mode, Yoongi," you sneer while pulling up a new tab. "I don’t need you or my FBI guy judging me.”
He snorts. “Oh come on, Y/N. The FBI doesn’t care about your porn preferences. And neither do I. Besides, you technically looked at it with my eyes already.”
He taps the side of your forehead gently as if you needed the reminder that you're not in your own skin and you swat him away. You quickly type the phrase “body swap” into the search bar and try to focus on the resulting web pages even though you’re distracted by the blood leaving your brain in favor of other body parts.
"Can you just… Shut up for one second?"
"Hey, I'm just saying..." He clicks his tongue thoughtfully as he scooches closer to you. "You’re into some good stuff. We might have more in common than I thought."
Butterflies erupt in your stomach at the physical contact and send a tingling electricity down your abdomen. You clear your throat and reposition the computer over your lap as you feel yourself growing harder. You stare down at the two fingers settled on the trackpad rather than the information on screen. Try as you might to remain inconspicuous, suddenly all you can think about are those thick fingers rubbing hard circles against your clit while the two of you watch porn together. Bad thought. Baaaaaad. You attempt to pass the laptop over to him as discreetly as possible while shifting your pelvis away towards the edge of the bed.
“I’m…” You flounder for an excuse to leave the room and get these racing hormones under control. “...pee.”
“What?” There's a quizzical expression branded upon his features that toes the line of disgust.
“I have to pee,” you quickly correct while tactically holding your forearm over your lap. If there is such a thing as fate, why is it torturing you like this?
“Again?”
You push the laptop towards him once more and pray that he’ll just let you go be embarrassed alone in the bathroom for five minutes. Instead he looks down at the way your forearms cross your pelvis and exudes a deep, throaty laugh that sounds foreign in the tenor of your voice. That laughter travels through your head like it’s made of hot coals.
“Wow. Got a boner, huh?”
Your cheeks are made of fire. Literal fire. They feel like they should melt straight through your skin and torch your brain yet here you are: still alive and wishing you would burn to death. God is dead. There is no mercy in this universe.
"Don't fucking laugh at me! I can't control it!"
When he laughs harder, the urge to silence him overtakes all rational thought. You reach for a lock of hair sticking out from beneath his cap and pull hard. He hisses through his teeth and you smirk, knowing what kind of response this would normally elicit from your body. Will it affect him the same, or is the sexual response guided by mental preference rather than physical? Maybe it’s both. It seems to have some effect because he’s stopped laughing.
Yoongi shivers as goosebumps riddle his arms and prickle along his chest until his nipples are threatening to poke holes through the thin fabric of the bra and t-shirt. His jaw tightens and on instinct his hand shoots up to grasp at the short black hair adorning your head in retaliation. He catches himself before he pursues the motion of yanking down. What is he doing? Can he really be so bold with you? He knows you, but not like this. Things are strange right now but if he keeps going they're bound to get stranger. If the butterflies in his stomach weren't enough to tip him off to his attraction to you, even like this, the wetness between these thighs solidifies the magnetism you hold over him.
A pitiful sound escapes your lips that hints at your disappointment. “Mmm?"
He pauses there to inspect your expression, tilting his head as though it will give him a better read. He should be able to interpret his own expression but looking at his face through your eyes doesn't seem to help at all. Because he's studied your features for so long it's hard to see what you're feeling now that he can't see them at work. His palm flattens against your scalp and he allows his fingers to wander through the thick black hair he's combed out a million times. Somehow it feels softer in your hands. Soon he finds his hand cupping the back of your neck. Labored breaths swim in the space between the pair of you, but it's hard to tell who they belong to.
"What are you doing?" you whisper as your fingers reach for the brim of his cap.
"What are you doing?" he echoes back.
Have your eyes always looked so fierce, or is it his persona breathing a dark fire into them now? You flick the cap off his head, which releases all the hair he had trapped underneath it. You push it back from his face and tangle your fingers within it.
"Pretending like this isn't just you wanting to make out with yourself to see what it's like," you answer, staring at the reflection in his eyes. "You?"
There's a smirk that grows into a full blown grin within seconds. "Trying to convince myself that it isn't insane to want to make out with myself just to see what it's like."
You scoff and drop your hands to his shoulders to give him a firm push back. "Dick."
He giggles at the way you pout and halfheartedly pushes the laptop towards the other side of the bed. The hand still on the back of your neck travels up to massage your scalp and suddenly you're putty in his palm. His other hand trails along your stubbly jaw until his fingers are nestled behind your ear. As he glances down at the tent in your pants he laughs.
"Still hard?"
"Like your nipples," you grumble.
You reach out and twist the peaks barely hidden beneath his shirt; it's an impulse you don't refuse. This time he moans.
"Oh, you liked that, hmm? I bet you're so fucking wet right now," you whisper, embracing your boldness.
You watch his eyes roll with the flutter of his lashes at your words. Both of his hands glide through your hair and he begins to flex his fingers around some strands. He alternates between releasing his gentle grip on your locks and twisting his fingers back into them. You’re making him crazy. Should he even bother trying to compose himself at this point?
“What?” you prod, pushing the limits of his endurance for such brattiness. “Aren’t you going to pull my hair, Yoongi?”
The way he glares at you causes your skin to break out in a series of goosebumps. How can you be shivering when your body was just doing its best impression of molten rock? Yoongi. That’s the answer. You whimper a pathetic sound as his knuckles curl towards your scalp. The motion brings your forehead down to meet his and your eyelids flutter closed. He focuses heavy breaths out through his nose and stares at the lips he knows are his own. They may be part of his usual physical appearance but right now they’re a part of yours.
“You’re so fucking obnoxious.”
He sucks his bottom lip through his teeth and moves towards you before he can second guess what he's about to do. His lips seem to meld with yours and your eyes pop open to be sure this is really happening. Is this really happening? You see your own nose and heavy lidded eyes peeking open just enough to roll back in pleasure.
The hands buried in your hair drop to cradle your jaw and you can feel the stubble scraping against the delicate skin of his fingers as he drags his hands slowly towards your chin. You melt into his touch and hold your breath like you'll never inhale another again. Suddenly you're kissing him back and no amount of lightheadedness can stop you.
Oh shit. This is happening. It’s not anything like your daydreams but it’s real and it feels so fucking good. It feels surreal. It feels too surreal. Maybe the lightheadedness can stop you. It's you, but it's not. Your eyes open again and you find a battle of anxiety raging in your brain. He pauses to peck the edge of your mouth when he realizes you're no longer kissing him back.
"What are you doing?" he murmurs, resting his forehead against yours. “Did I… read that wrong?”
“No! No, I’ve wanted to do that for a while. It’s just…” A laugh bubbles from your throat and you shake your head before bursting into a fit of giggles. “This is weird.”
Relief washes over his features and he smiles as he leans back to look at you. “It’s definitely unique. But I can’t say I want to stop.”
His admission fills you with a fresh wave of tingles up your spine. “Me neither. I… still want you.”
You sheepishly turn your head to the side and find the mirror lining the closet wall, looking at the image of the pair of you as if it will save you from the embarrassment of your own words.
"What? Now you're getting shy?" he teases while following you gaze to the reflection. It dawns on him that he can enjoy the view. "Or do you just want to watch?"
He moves towards your lips slowly while keeping focused on the mirror, watching your eyes lazily roll back behind your lids and revelling in the whine this pulls from you.
“Look,” he pleads in low whisper, angling your body so you can get a better view. “Look how good you look with your tongue on my neck.”
Your head lolls around just in time to see exactly that before the sensation snaps across your nerve endings. He latches on, sucking light bruises into the tender flesh. He knows where to put his tongue to have you gripping the back of his neck and arching your back up towards him. He smirks as he glances at the mirror, licking a hot stripe up to your ear where he teasingly nibbles on the lobe.
"Does it look as hot when I--when you...?" You flounder on your words in between soft pants, your eyes trained on the reflection.
He counters with a whisper, “Do you want to find out?”
“I’m… curious,” you admit, leaning your head back to give him access to more of your neck.
“You want to know how it feels,” he lazily mumbles against your neck. “Hmm. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it.”
“It’s a unique opportunity,” you say, trying to convince yourself that proposing the idea isn’t weird at all. “Maybe we just… See?”
“Right. This is a unique opportunity,” he echoes in agreement, burying his face into the crook of your neck. His voice is muffled as he sighs a heated breath against your skin. “We should take advantage of it.”
“I mean, as long as you don’t tell anyone.”
He pops his head up to look at you, his brows knotted in confusion. “Who would believe me?”
You shake your head and smirk. “I guess you’re right.”
There’s a moment where the concept of time seems to evaporate. You both stare at each other like you’re seeing your own faces for the first time, like it’s the first time you both can actually love and accept yourselves as you are. It’s easier to be gentle with someone else, but now that someone else is technically also a part of you it brings a level of clemency to your feelings regarding your appearance. You like yourself better now that you can see a part of him there.
“Will you show me how you like it?” he asks with a tilt of his head.
“If you show me, too,” you say with a gentle rock of your hips towards him.
“You first.”
Your mouth is already covering the soft expanse of his neck, dragging your teeth with just enough pressure to tease the skin. He watches you work up and down through the mirror, feeling the arousal between his legs building. As you're kissing a path back towards his mouth he takes a chance and swings his leg over your midriff so he's kneeling just above the throbbing cock hidden beneath the thin layer of gray fabric. The jeans dig a hard line into his stomach and limit the range of his spread.
"These pants are horrible," he complains.
"Take them off if you hate them so much," you agree between hungry kisses. It's impossible to keep your eyes from the mirror. He hooks his fingers beneath your sweater and begins working it upwards, stopping only to rest a palm on your chest.
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" He trails his fingers down the flat expanse until he gets to your navel, passing over the dark hair leading down into your pants. He tugs at the place where the hair begins to grow thicker and laughs when you hiss an expletive.
He quickly pulls the oversized sweater upwards. Instead of helping you out of it, he clutches the fabric with both hands as you bring your arms above your head and presses you back into the mattress. You find your bent elbows trapped in the sleeves.
“How about this?” he whispers. “Do you like this?”
“Yes.” You look down at the delicious pectorals he’s exposed, practically salivating at the sight of those pert nipples. “Yoongi, please.”
He smirks as he runs his fingers down your chest, ignoring the nipples you wish he would do something about. Lower. Lower. His hand travels behind him until suddenly your body spasms with pleasure from the practiced grip he’s placed on the cock standing at attention behind him.
“This? Does it feel good when I touch you like this?”
“Fuck! Yes. Please. Yes!”
Just as quickly as his hand pressed against your clothed erection, it’s gone, leaving you a whimpering mess. He plants a kiss beside one of your nipples, but denies it any direct contact.
"Stop teasing me," you whine. The pressure in your chest builds with every second that passes and you feel like your heart is going to burst.
He lets out a lofty sigh as he sits back on his thighs, promptly removing his t-shirt. "But you make it so easy..."
You wiggle out of the arms of the sweater and sit up to unsnap the button to his jeans. You kiss up his stomach until he’s unzipping the bra and letting you nip at the supple flesh for a moment. He discards the bra like it’s nothing before rolling over to unzip his pants. He peels them from his legs along with the soaked panties. It’s hard to not look at the mirror as he climbs over your waist. If he holds any shame for being nude in front of you, it’s not apparent in his current form. Your face, however, feels hot. Your body is exposed and he keeps looking at it, groping those breasts with his hands.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” he says quietly, admiring the reflection as he plays with his nipples between his fingers.
You want to bury your face in something to hide your embarrassment so you plant your face between his tits and begin to suck bruises into the soft flesh beside his fingers.
“Oh fuck.” The sight of his own face diving between those squishy tits is enough to make his body involuntarily flex in ways he’s never experienced before.
“How does it feel?” you murmur, slowly licking a path to one of his nipples and lightly dragging your teeth along it.
The sound he makes when he moans has you shivering all over again. He lets his head fall back for a second and then he looks at you. “Like I want you to touch me.”
Now you’re the one who smirks with confidence. “Lay back.”
He snaps the band at your waist as he rolls off of you. “These. Off.”
Manicured fingers slip down to rub some of the tension from the swollen bud between his legs as he watches you awkwardly push the pants down past the cock begging to be touched. You try to avoid looking at it. It’s hard not to feel exposed even though it’s not your body. You scramble back into the bed as quickly as you can. His laughter catches you off guard.
“You’re so shy now. Look at it. Feel it,” he urges. “Grab my cock.”
You try to be casual about your downward glance but the way you lick your lips is anything but casual. You press your thumb into the base of the cock to admire its shape from a 90 degree angle. It’s average in terms of length but your mouth waters at the sight of the bulging veins and increased girth just below the swollen tip. You don’t bother to resist the urge to grip the shaft. You drag your hand up and trace your thumb around the fleshy mauve tip. The sensation causes you to shiver. It’s so sensitive.
As you’re admiring the way it tapers towards the base, soft, thinner fingers curl around yours and begin to guide them into a slow, controlled pumping motion that sets your nerves alight.
He quirks a brow at you. “What do you think?”
“Fuck, Yoongi,” you choke out with a held breath. Greedy gasps break the small silence that follows. Has it always been so hard to speak while masturbating? It’s not like you’re terrible at dirty talk so why are you hesitating?
“Do you need me to stop?”
You fervently shake your head and follow it with a needy groan. “No. Please… Keep going.” You hope he never stops.
“Then use your words” he urges, placing his hand over yours to slow your pace to a crawl.
You whimper. It’s a pathetic sound created with his voice in his throat, yet it still somehow sounds so deliciously like you. While he finds himself attracted to your usual body, it doesn’t bother him that you’re currently assuming a different form. Looks are fleeting anyway. It’s the person inside he’s grown attached to, the caring soul he feels connected to.
He’s seen you stare at the bulletin board near the restroom and tear off the tabs of creative community activities to benefit those in need. If he wasn’t so busy managing the store all the time he would have been able to sign up for those events too. He’s seen you volunteer at the homeless shelter just around the corner. He’s seen you cradling posters for your neighbor’s missing cat— he’d even let you keep one on the door to his store until you told him they found it.
The truth is that your soul is so beautiful and full that he’d want you no matter what you looked like. If only he had the courage to say that. But it's easier to hide behind snark.
“It feels so good,” you whine. “I wish I could put my mouth all over it. Bet you’d fill me so good.”
A growl escapes with his exhale and he guides your fist up and down the girth between your legs with increased vigor. He gently leads you by the dick, pulling you closer to the bed until your knees hit the side.
“Look in the mirror, Y/N. Watch,” he whispers in a low tone, almost begging you to keep your eyes on the reflection.
You do as he says and watch in awe as a set of manicured fingers tap against your chest and trail down to the cock still nestled in your fist. They work their way beneath your palm and shoo your hand away. Even knowing that Yoongi is behind the action, the sight of your hands stroking that perfect cock sets a fire of desire coursing through your veins.
You watch in the mirror as your lips plant kisses on the dark hair beneath Yoongi’s navel. You watch as your head sinks lower and lower until soft, plush lips are skimming the tip of his dick. You watch his length slide into your mouth and immediately your knees threaten to buckle.
His hands are already reaching up to stabilize your stance even as he glides his tongue against you. The pleasure is unlike anything you’ve felt before, but having your clit sucked and teased comes close. It’s heaven. You whimper a tortured sound sitting somewhere between the boundaries of pleasure and anguish. He plays your role so well, maybe even better than you could play it. You attempt to distract yourself from the nervous tremble of your thighs by gathering bits of his hair in your hands and balling it in your fists. He gargles out a muffled moan against you.
“I look so good sucking your pretty cock,” you whisper in awe.
He leans back to swipe his tongue over the slit and then sinks back down, nose hitting the tuft of dark hair at your pelvis as you bottom out in his throat. Your grip around his hair tightens with the slight rock of your hips. You press his face against your crotch like you never want him to leave. The pair of you look so fucking hot. You’re revelling in slow, shallow thrusts deep in his throat when he makes a gagging noise you know all too well. He grips your thighs and you immediately release your hold while pulling your hips back.
“Fuck I’m so sorry!” Heat rises in your face and you want to run and hide.
He rests his palm on your waist and catches his breath, a trail of sticky precum and thick spit connecting his mouth to your cock. It involuntarily flexes and bobs up towards your stomach and then back down, which severs the path of saliva.
“Don’t be. That was hot.” He wipes his lips with the back of his hand.
“Yoongi, you didn’t have to! I mean I was curious but I—”
You’re cut off by his harsh tug on your hands. You stumble forward and meet his dark gaze. How can he make your eyes look so hungry?
“I’m a firm believer in never asking someone to do what I wouldn’t. I like to know what I’m giving, don’t you?”
“God, I wish that were me. I want to taste you so bad,” you whine, licking your lips as you spare a glance down at the glistening appendage standing at attention between your legs. “Wanna taste you dripping off my tongue.”
“You can,” he assures you in a soft voice, cupping your face with his hands.
His lips are on yours in an instant and you’re moaning against them like you’ll never get enough. The salty tang on his tongue transfers to yours as it dips into your mouth. You wish you could take him into your mouth yourself, but this is a good substitute for now.
"You taste good," you pant between kisses. "Why haven't we done this sooner?"
He pulls away to shrug, cocking his head to the side and focusing on your neck. "If you want something you have to speak up. No one can read minds and even if they could, often times people are so wrapped up in their own heads they'd never see what you think.”
"Wow, getting philosophical on me, huh? So… What? I'm just supposed to say, ‘Hey yoongi you're hot. Wanna fuck’?"
"That's a little blunt don't you think?" He laughs, allowing you to push him back onto the mattress. "Been holding that back long?"
Your heart skips a beat, heat flushing your ears. "Maybe. Would it have made a difference?”
He ponders this for a moment as he squints at the ceiling in concentration. "Mmm. I'd say you should at least buy me dinner first… "
You scoff. It’s not a no but it’s not an enthusiastic yes either. You climb onto the mattress, trying to ignore how casually he lays in your bed, completely barren before you.
He rolls onto his side and props his head up to survey your approach. You seem a little nervous so it’s easier for him to fake confidence for both your sakes. "I guess we're both guilty of not saying what we mean."
"What is it you really mean to say then?" If he’s got a juicy secret he’s been holding in, then you want to know to salvage what’s left of your pride.
"I give you shit but I like that you come into the store every day to get your muffin and your gross energy drink. I like when you come back in after just to bitch about your day and pretend like you need a snack that I never see you eat. I like when you ask me about my day, even though you know I’m shit at conversation. It makes me happy because I care about…" he hesitates when he sees your smug grin. "...”
“Yes?” you prod.
He draws a deep breath from his belly. “You. I care about you. I’ve never found an opportunity to tell you that I like you. I’m always working, keeping my store afloat, focused on the numbers and the success of my business. But I see you coming out of that building every day. I watch for you to make sure even after a year of this that you’re still coming here first. It’s crazy but you put me at ease and make me anxious at the same time. I feel like I know you, like I’ve known you all my life.”
He pauses to allow you to interject. When you don’t, he continues, “I feel it in my bones when you smile at me, when you roll your eyes at me, when you try to make me laugh... You’re so easy to fall for. I know that I’m not, but sometimes you look at me and I feel like you want to. I want you to. I wish you would come back when I’m locking up for the night so that I could see you outside of work, so I could take you out, so I could take you home. A thousand possibilities are always running through my head when it comes to you and I freeze when I think about acting on any of them. That’s what I don’t say.”
“Yoongi…” you finally whisper.
Your face scrunches up like you’re about to cry and he grimaces at you, knowing you’re definitely about to do just that.
“Don’t do that. My cheeks look so fat when you do that. Hey, are you listening? Don’t make my face look so ugly!”
His attempts to make you smile simply causes the tears to fall from your eyes. You melt into his embrace, burying your face against his neck as you sob. He places a tentative palm on the back of your head.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, planting a kiss against your hair, “if it’s just me.”
“No, I feel the same way,” you admit, turning your head to kiss his cheek. “You say you’re hard to love but how can that be true when I feel what I feel so easily? I will wait for you to close your shop and walk you home every day if you let me. I will be yours, if you let me.”
He turns your head so that he can bring his lips to yours. They taste salty again for entirely different reasons. Can you feel the way he’s trembling right now? All the relief in the world can’t assuage the ache of carrying such a burden in his chest for so long. The adrenaline is coursing through him like a wildfire, spreading until his lungs are burning with a heat he can’t quell.
“Mine, then,” he whispers, allowing the tears to stream down his cheeks freely. “Mine.”
He tangles his fingers in your hair, pulling you into a passionate kiss that threatens to steal every last bit of oxygen from your lungs. He growls into your mouth, claiming every inch inside with his tongue. He grinds his hips upwards and it’s then you remember that you’re naked and you have a dick that’s still half-hard and growing harder by the second.
You groan loudly. “Fuuuuuck. I want to fuck you so bad right now.”
He pulls back to bite his lip, the intrigue in his features apparent. “You want to try it?”
“I mean… you sucked your own dick for me. You don’t owe me anything—”
“I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. I want to try it,” he says, wriggling his hips beneath you. “Fuck. Me.”
“This is still so weird,” you say with a giggle, your eyes rolling back into your skull when the tip of your cock glides against his clit. “Ah…”
The pair of you pause and slowly repeat the motion. You can feel how wet he is and instead of being embarrassed like you would be in his place, you find it incredibly hot.
“Do it again,” he pleads, spreading his legs further apart to allow you better access.
You look down, pressing your thumb into the base of your cock and carefully glide the tip across the folds between his legs. He hisses an expletive between his teeth when you drag it past his clit and begin rocking your hips back and forth.
“Yeah, just like that,” he whispers through frantic panting and sloppy kisses.
You feel a cramp in your thigh and pull back to nurse the ache. He whines when you slink away from his body, missing the friction on his clit already, although he’s satisfied enough when you circle one of his breasts with your tongue and take a nipple into your mouth. You press light circles into his clit with the pad of your middle finger until you can feel his legs flexing around your body like you’re not giving him enough. His fingers dive beneath yours to tease the swollen bud.
“Let me feel,” he pants. “Let me learn where to touch.”
You carefully guide his movements for a minute while treating his other nipple to the pleasures of your tongue. He seems to get the hang of stimulating himself pretty quickly so you turn your attention towards his thighs. You sink between them and begin kissing the sensitive skin beside his folds. His thighs twitch when you trace circles around his entrance with your tongue. You briefly pause to inspect your fingernails, making sure none of them are a jagged mess from the way he’s bitten them. When you’re satisfied with your inspection you peek up at him.
“You want to try my fingers first?” you ask, feeling envious that you can’t be riding three of them to the knuckle right now. “I can show you how my mouth feels too, though I doubt I’m an expert on that.”
“I don’t care about that.” He lifts his hand so he can peer down at you from between his tits. “I’ll take your mouth anywhere you want to give it.”
He watches as you flick your tongue across the sensitive, slick bundle of nerves. He bucks his hips as you clamp down and roll your tongue back and forth over it. His pretty painted nails look so good digging into your ebony hair. It’s not long until you dip a finger inside his cunt, teasing until you’re bobbing it in and out at a decent pace.
“Oh…” he says, as if he’s surprised that the experience is so pleasurable. “Shit, that’s good. Fuck. I’m gonna....”
You push another finger into him, curling the longest digit as far as you can to try and reach the g-spot you know is hiding nearby. When you finally get it he grips your shoulders and arches his pelvis off the ground like he’s committing to a new yoga routine. You recognize the stiffness in his limbs, the involuntary tremble of his thighs beside your head, the heaving of his chest and the frantic nonsense spilling out from his lips. You focus your energy on his clit, replacing your mouth with your hand since you have more confidence bringing about his climax this way.
His hips stutter and you know he’s riding the line. It’s a little bit more difficult to find that perfect rhythm when your hand isn’t in it’s normal position. The way he sucks in a breath to release his needy whines almost makes you feel guilty. It’s not like you’re trying to edge him but you’re not able to keep that pressure as consistent as you’d like.
“I’m so close,” he pants. “But I keep losing it. I’m sorry.”
You’ve been there plenty of times but you’re desperate to make him cum.
“It’s okay. Don’t be sorry. Rub it, baby. You know what feels good,” you whisper, shifting your attention to fingering his cunt. You don’t call attention to the pet name, but it feels so natural falling from your lips in this moment. You hope he doesn’t mind.
In an instant his fingers replace yours on his clit and he’s building back up. His thighs quake and his back arches off the mattress one more time and you know it’s coming. He’s about to reach his peak.
He takes a sharp inhale and where you expect the loud wails you would normally make while riding out your high, there’s quiet shuddering and softy breathy moans that linger in the air around you. He grabs your wrist with an ironclad grip as soon as he rides the last wave and his sweaty thighs fall limp around your face. You’re grinning like an idiot as he pulls you by the hair towards his lips, desperate to feel you, to taste you. His tongue is exploring every bit it can, trying to steal the essence from your mouth.
“Mmm. I want to taste that sweet pussy every day.“
“Do you… Still want me to fuck you?” You’re really trying not to sound hopeful but you can’t stop thinking about it.
He smirks and wipes the sweat from his brow. “Let me feel how well my cock fills you.”
“Do I need a condom?” you ask. “Are you clean?”
He laughs like it’s an absurd question. “That’s up to you. I haven’t had sex in four years. I’m clean. If you’re not worried, I’m not worried.”
“Four years is a long time,” you mumble, suddenly feeling pressure perform well. “I have an IUD so if you’re okay with it…”
“I wanna know how it feels.”
As soon as you line yourself up with his entrance you’re sweating like you’ve never sweated in your entire life. You don’t know what you’re doing, but you’re hoping it doesn’t suck. It doesn’t take a genius to sense your nerves. He reaches out to cup your stubbly jaw.
“We don’t have to.”
“I want to. Just… tell me if I’m hurting you,” you whisper before pressing your lips to his.
You let the tip dip inside and descend into his cunt slowly, knowing the thickest part of your dick follows the tip immediately. The stretch must be delicious. You’re distracted by how tightly his walls are clamping down on you. It’s tempting to bury yourself in his warmth as quickly as possible but you show restraint. His breath hitches as he adjusts to your girth and you freeze. Has your body ever taken someone as thick as him? You can’t recall. Probably not.
“Keep going,” he coaches, grabbing at your ass to press you further inside until you’ve bottomed out.
Your head hangs down as you try not to let the sensation overwhelm you. His lips find yours, helping you climb back down from the high. You slowly move your hips back, already missing the tight warmth hugging you. It takes a few more slow thrusts until you’re pumping into him at a relatively steady pace.
“Sorry if my rhythm isn’t good. I’ve never done this,” you manage to say between heavy breaths.
“You’re doing fine. This feels amazing. What are you talking about?”
He could be lying to make you feel better but it’s working. He puts his hands by his head to indicate he wants you to hold them. You immediately twine your fingers in his and press the back of his hands into the mattress.
“Yeah? It feels so fucking good, Yoongi.”
“It does... But I know you can fuck me harder than that, Y/N.”
You can already feel the tightness you’re holding back, a pleasurable pressure building in your pelvis that warns you of the imminent orgasm you can only stave off for so long. You can’t help but slam your hips in harder and faster at his request. The sound of balls slapping against skin fills the room and he moves his hips to meet yours. His breathing grows labored but you know he’s not about to cum again. You’ve never gotten off from penetration alone and there’s no way your sloppy performance will cause that miracle to happen now.
“There you go… Fuck. That’s it.”
“I’m gonna pull out,” you warn, feeling like you’re testing your own limits with every thrust.
“Already?” he teases, digging his pretty fingernails into your back.
“It feels… too fucking good, Yoon…” You wish you had more stamina. “Gonna cum on those pretty tits.”
“Yoon?” He chuckles, now distracted by the way his tits are bouncing with each slap of your hips.
“Just wait until I’m back in that body riding your cock. See how long you last then.”
“Is that a promise?” he questions, cupping your jaw to kiss you.
“...Yeah...”
He can feel the difference in your pace, in the shivers of your body. You’re about to cum. He turns your face towards the mirror so you can see how fucked out your reflection looks. It’s intoxicating seeing Yoongi’s body so needy and desperate.
“Look at you. You’re not gonna make it to these tits.”
“Fuck…” you bite your lip and try to slow your pace but it’s too late. The tension and pressure bursts from the head of your cock like a confetti popper on New Years. With a few, strong pumps you spill your seed into his warm cunt. “Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck! I’m cumming! I’m cummmph--”
Yoongi brings your lips back to meet his to muffle the unexpected sounds of your orgasm.
“Oh my goooood. You’re so loud,” he teases when you finally come down, but you’re too spent to refute him.
There’s another twitch in your dick and you lay there with your mouth open, trying to regain sense of your faculties. He intentionally clenches around your softening length and every muscle in your abdomen flexes.
“Too much!” you shriek, pulling out and rolling off of him in one swift motion.
You let your sweaty back hit the soft duvet, trying to recover from the sensation. He laughs, angling his legs towards the mirror. You’re about to ask what he’s doing when he spreads his legs and swipes at the cum dripping from his cunt, pushing it back inside with his fingers and releasing a soft sigh. It’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen yourself do, and you’re not even doing it.
When he’s satisfied that he’s pushed it all in, he lays down next to you. The two of you stare at the ceiling in silence for at least a minute. Is it awkward or was it just that good? You can’t tell the difference right now and it’s making you anxious. He covers your hand with his and looks over at you with a warm smile.
The anxiety-driven words come out before you can stop them. “You should pee. You don’t want a UTI and neither do I.”
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About an hour has passed in awkward silence as the two of you conduct research on what the fuck happened to you. You haven’t talked about what you both did in this bed, but the smell of sex still hangs in the air. As soon as you both put your clothes back on it was like a switch of modesty came back into play, and you feel too shy to point it out. You don’t know what to say, so you’ve just been clicking on every link you possibly can to fill the silence as he scrolls through articles on his phone nearby. It’s uncomfortable and you hate it.
“I think I have something, maybe,” you say, scrolling through the 90s looking website you’ve been exploring for the last few minutes.
Yoongi scoots closer to you and furrows his brow as he squints to read the sloppy banner at the top of the page. “The Unsolved?”
“I know what you’re thinking. Conspiracy theorists are insane, I know, but—”
You reach for the trackpad at the same time and your fingers brush, causing you to freeze mid-sentence. You stare at the keyboard for a second and chew on your lip, allowing your eyes to dart towards your periphery without moving your head. When he doesn’t say anything you clear your throat and scroll with the trackpad.
“But, look.” You point to the two embedded images triumphantly.
“Necklaces.” He cocks his head to the side and reads the text underneath aloud. “‘An Amulet of Discord is used by an Agent of Chaos to spread mischief and debauchery in the universe. It can be split into two halves to displace unsuspecting victims from their bodies. A glamour will protect the Amulet once the ritual is complete, making it impossible to see or touch. In order to reunite the victim with their body, the Agent responsible must be compelled to remove the glamour and mend the fragmented pieces into one.’”
“Last night I had one of those chincy friendship necklaces on and I definitely did not put it on. It looked a lot like the ones that weird guy tried to give us at your shop yesterday. I tried to get it off but it wouldn’t budge. Then it disappeared.”
“This sounds insane,” he muses, mulling over the information.
“Did it happen to you too?”
“I thought I saw one briefly, but… It was gone when I looked again. I thought I must be seeing things.”
“It’s gotta be it!”
Yoongi furrows his brows as you scroll back up to the navigation, not sure if he fully believes in this explanation. “What’s an Agent of Chaos anyway?”
“I guess they like… cause mayhem for fun? I don’t know, the description said something about pleasing a patron that they get their powers from.”
“Like a god?”
The thought makes him uneasy. If a god of chaos exists then surely there are more out there. If gods exist but they do nothing to balance out the cosmic injustices of the universe, are they really gods or more like demons? He feels like he’s about to have a full meltdown over something he can’t understand or control.
“Maybe. It doesn’t describe them at all. But…” You give him a reassuring smirk. “It does give instructions on how to trap an Agent. We just need a little more space and some chalk. We’ll draw him out, trap him, then make him undo his magic. What do we have to lose?”
His heart feels lighter when you look at him so softly. “Makes it sound simple when you say it like that. Also, slightly insane.”
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The website was very lax on defining the ‘discordant energy’ needed to summon the agent, so the pair of you have been improvising. Yoongi suggested moving into the store for the space you needed, but you have a feeling he’s just anxious about it being closed for the day. It’s fine. You don’t want to constantly be thinking about the sex neither of you are acknowledging right now. Yoongi is brushing his teeth after drinking a bottle of orange juice.
You grimace at him. “You really think that’s gonna do it?”
He stops mid-brush, his mouth full of foam and garbling his words. “It’s better than doing nothing. How are you helping?”
You give the sunglasses rack a slow spin. “I drew the sigil on the floor. If we’re gonna trap him we need to be ready. Were you able to find anything else?”
He clicks on your laptop a few times before hurrying into the back room. He reappears a moment later, wiping at his mouth. “That was gross.”
You watch him concentrate on the screen, trying to forget the way it felt to kiss him everywhere he would let you. It’s hard to focus on the task at hand when there’s this feeling lingering in your uneasy stomach. Are you doomed to never speak of the things that made your heart flutter?
“ A thousand possibilities are always running through my head when it comes to you and I freeze when I think about acting on any of them. That’s what I don’t say .”
You tell yourself you imagined those words, that you wished them into existence. You turn the rack of cheap sunglasses again. Even if you knew what you were looking for, you wouldn’t find it with the way your mind is wandering. You look back at Yoongi, debating whether or not you should speak up about the uncertainty in your gut.
“Keepsake!” he says excitedly, running out from behind the counter. “It says they often leave something behind so they can return to observe their work.”
His sudden movement makes you jump and loudly smack your hand against the stand in a panicked attempt to look inconspicuous. He pauses to look at you and raises an eyebrow but you’re already laser-focused on the rack again. Desperate to hide your growing embarrassment you pluck a pair of sunglasses that is strikingly similar to the ones you’d seen the man wearing that day.
As soon as you put them on you inhale sharply. “What the fuck?”
“Hmm?” Yoongi wonders. “What is it?”
“There’s something written… on the fridge.”
“What? Where?”
You lift the glasses up to be sure you can’t see the letters scrawled on the glass without them. The message disappears. Once you place them back on the bridge of your nose they practically glow, beckoning you towards them. You push past him on your way to the drinks section. “Here. It says… Now you have… specs appeal?”
Yoongi pinches the bridge of his nose. “That’s it?”
“What do you mean, ‘that’s it’? It was a solid pun.”
The pair of you look towards the sound of the stranger’s voice. Instead of forming words you exclaim a sound of surprise. He looks confused.
“You’re going to need to speak clearly. I’m not sure I understand your language.”
“You! You did this!” you shriek, taking a step forward.
“I’m not sure what you mean,” the man says with a puff of his cheeks. He stuffs his hands in his pockets. “It’s not nice to accuse people of things. Have I done anything? Are you sure you’re not dreaming?”
A haze of golden dust spreads across the room like twinkling stars. As you blink and rub at your eyes you yawn and feel a sudden urge to lay down.
“Mmm. I am sleepy…” you admit as you sink to your knees.
Yoongi looks down at you like you’ve grown two heads. “Y/N, what are you doing?”
You laugh and lazily grapple with his leg. “Come lay down. Please? It’s made out of feathers.”
Yoongi watches you close your eyes. Suddenly your body falls limp at his feet. He crouches down to cradle your face in his hands, your name an urgent plea on his lips. “Y/N. Y/N wake up.” He pinches your cheek but you don’t respond.
“She wants this to be a dream. Don’t you?” The man takes a few casual steps forward.
“No, I don’t,” Yoongi growls. The threat sounds odd coming from this body, tone too meek to pass for intimidating. He glares at the man after reluctantly tearing his eyes from your sleeping form. It may be his body on the floor there, but you’re trapped inside it. “Wake her up.”
“She’s tired!”
Yoongi rises to his feet and shields your unconscious form as the man creeps closer. “Don’t take another step. You’re going to regret it.”
“Threatening me? Hah… You’re pretty bold, considering you’re not really in a bargaining position. Spunky! I’ll give you that. Say, I’m curious. What do you think I am anyway? I’ve got a bet going and I know I’m gonna win because I’m right, but I need proof. So if you wouldn’t mind speaking into this...”
Out of his pocket comes a microphone. He holds it out like he’s giving the most intense interview of his life as he awaits Yoongi’s response.
“You’re… Some kind of trickster.”
The man sucks his teeth and shoves the microphone back in his pocket. “That’s not exactly what I had in mind. So much for my bet… Come on. Don’t you think I look more like a god?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you work for one,” Yoongi muses, “but you sure aren’t one.”
“Wooooow….” The man sighs in disbelief. “The disrespect! At least you’re honest. I can appreciate that. I— ”
The stranger’s body seizes up as he takes another step forward. ”Ow!” His body convulses for a second before he regains his faculties. He looks down to find the sigil scrawled in chalk around his feet. Try as he might to scrape the markings off with his heel, his shoes are unable to scuff the powder. He furrows his brows and throws his hands in the air.
“Really? Are you kidding me? An integrity prison? Where did you learn this?”
Holy fucking shit. It worked, Yoongi thinks. He’s never been more relieved in his life.
“Wake her up,” he repeats calmly.
“I was gonna,” the man pouts, slumping into a cross-legged sit. “But now I really don’t want to. Would it kill you to have manners? Look at this. You’ve put me in a difficult little pickle here.” He reaches behind his back and pulls out a jar full of dill pickles. He fishes one out and takes a loud, crunchy bite. “I was just having a little fun and now I’m stuck here, doomed to this ugly little space.”
Yoongi crosses his arms, quickly losing patience. “Stop being dramatic.”
The man glowers at him and crunches on the last bit of the pickle with slow, loud chewing.
Yoongi lets out an exasperated sigh. “Please, stop being dramatic.”
With a surprised nod, the man gulps down the pickle and hops to his feet. “Well, you said please, at least. Was that really such a big... dill?”
Right as Yoongi groans, the man snaps his fingers and flexes his pointers into finger-guns. You immediately yawn and sit up.
“What happened?” you mumble.
Yoongi offers you a hand and you take it, rising to unsteady feet. He wraps a hand around your waist to support your weight. “You took a nap but you didn’t miss much. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you murmur, the haze lifting from your sleepy eyelids. You gasp as your eyes focus on the man trapped between the center aisles. “Huh! We got him!”
“Yeah, yeah. Time to celebrate. You trapped me. Good job.” The sarcasm in his tone is evident, accompanied by a roll of his eyes. Confetti falls from above your heads, showering the pair of you in glitter and shiny streamers with the flick of his wrist. “Now let me out.”
You’re blown away by the bizarre moment, springing forward and out of Yoongi’s grasp. “Magic? Then, are you really… a god?”
The man pats his pockets frantically. “Finally! Someone with a sense for my greatness! Ugh! I should have been recording. Damn! Where’s my microphone?”
“Gods don’t get trapped with chalk,” Yoongi says, folding his arms and tapping his toe impatiently. “This guy is an underling. Hey! Don’t get too close!”
Your mouth hangs agape in awe as you approach the man. Scrutiny must be new for him because he seems stunned. That wide-eyed expression is erased quickly enough when he strikes a heroic pose, planting his hands on his hips and puffing his chest out. His pecs and shoulders seem to inflate when he inhales, causing them to swell into well-defined muscles.
“Oh.” You blink a few times, entranced by the sudden transformation. You reach your hand out as if to touch the meaty bicep practically bulging from his sleeve. “Who… What... are you, really?”
“Y/N!” Yoongi’s hands enclose around your waist, pulling you back into him just as your hand is about to break the barrier.
The man’s muscles deflate with his held breath as he bursts into a fit of squeaky laughter. “Oh! I almost had you!” He wheezes a squeaky sound through his inhale that you can only guess is laughter. He clears his throat. “My name is Jin. Matchmaker…” He holds up two matches in his hands and sets them alight with a flick of his wrist.
“Lover...” He winks and the matches disappear. In their stead are two roses. He tosses them at the two of you but when you go to catch yours it disintegrates.
Yoongi catches the disappointment on your face and thrusts the flower towards you, hoping it will restore the shine to your eyes. You give him a big, cheesy smile as you dust glitter from his hair.
“Ah… And! Balancing agent…” He stands on one foot as a seesaw appears to lift him into the air. He jumps down triumphantly with a bow. “At your service.”
You clap enthusiastically until you look over at Yoongi, who looks less than amused. You then nudge him with your elbow until he gives a solitary clap.
“What’s a balancing agent?” Yoongi asks dryly.
“We restore balance to the world. Things that are too uniform need a little chaos. Things that are too chaotic need to be put back into line. In our down time we like to have fun in our own ways. Me? I like to set people up.”
“So you’re not an Agent of Chaos?” you ask, disappointed that the conspiracy theorist page that led you to this point isn’t exactly the fountain of knowledge you had hoped for. There’s so much you don’t know.
Jin looks at you, clearly confused. “I mean some people call me Cupid, but I guess you can call me that. Has a nice ring to it. My powers are more inclined for chaos.”
“Cupid?”
“What? I’m a romantic. I can see the strings of fate! Also I may have a penchant for mischief, but that’s neither here—” He points at his feet. “Nor there!” He points at the shelf beside you which causes a bag of chips to burst, sending its contents everywhere.
“Hey!” Yoongi yells. “Are you going to pay for those?”
“Yoongi…”
“What?”
You can tell he’s irritated but clearly this guy can do a lot more than pop a bag of chips from across the room. You don’t want to fall on the bad side of his magic but you don’t exactly trust Yoongi’s mouth to keep you in Jin’s good graces.
“Stop being rude,” you whisper through clenched teeth.
He scoffs and answers you in a hushed tone. “How am I rude? He’s making a mess!”
“Then we’ll ask him to unmake it.” Your irritation heightens the volume of your voice to the point where it’s barely a whisper anymore.
“He’s playing with us. I’m through asking.”
“Yoongi.”
“Y/N.”
Jin laughs. “See, this is what I mean. Fate is practically screaming for me to help you. Chaos is just an added bonus for this boring town.”
You both look at him and ask in unison, “What?”
He points to the both of you. “Look.”
As you turn back to face Yoongi you’re shocked to see a pale blue orb glowing above his head. “Huh? What’s that?” You reach out to touch it but your hand passes through it without any change.
“You have one too,” he mumbles, squinting at the way a thin line seems to stem from it. Then he sees another. And another. It looks like a shiny, glittering web that splinters into a thousand different directions. His brows furrow as he inspects the tiny threads. “Do you see them?”
Your gaze follows his pointer and suddenly you can see the branching strands too, not just yours, but his as well. It’s beautiful. It’s overwhelming. It’s terrifying. Seeing the trepidation written on your face he silently beckons your attention to his finger, which is pointing to a thread that is golden instead of a pale blue hue. It’s the only one of its kind in the intricate glittering lattice between the two of you. You follow his pointer as it traces the path that stems from your orb until it gets closer to his and then you take over, finishing the path with your finger to the point where his orb engulfs the line.
“What is it?” you wonder aloud.
“A string of fate,” Jin answers with a wistful sigh. “It’s always exciting to see one, isn’t it? It means you’re soulmates.”
“Hah. Bullshit,” Yoongi responds, waving the air with his hands as if to disrupt the strings. They remain intact. “You just like causing mischief.”
Jin puffs his cheeks and scowls. “I can lie about a lot of things, but the strings aren’t one of them,” he huffs. “Why would I need to do that? What’s more unpredictable than true love slapping you in the face?”
He makes a motion with his fingers and sweeps them towards Yoongi.The compulsion rises and you’re powerless to stop it. Your hand moves of its own accord and lightly slaps Yoongi across the face. He looks betrayed as he rubs his cheek.
“I’m sorry! It wasn’t me!”
The tingle in your arm causes it to move back towards him in a gentle swoop. Your wrist is limp as it smacks into his chin and rubs back and forth as if to comfort him. Jin bursts into a fit of laughter as he breaks the compulsion.
Yoongi lets out an exasperated sigh, stomping up towards the circle around the stranger. “Just change us back and you can go on causing problems elsewhere.”
“I can’t,” Jin answers simply, crossing his arms. “The charm will break only under specific conditions.”
“And those are?”
Jin shrugs with his bottom lip protruding as he frowns. “It’s different for everyone.”
“Of course it is.” Yoongi sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, pacing back towards you.
“There are some things you can try. Staples of the trade.” Jin notes some dirt beneath his fingernails and begins cleaning them. “Number one. Have you tried talking about your feelings?”
Yoongi’s gaze settles on yours and it’s like you can feel your heart stop. Say something. You open your mouth to speak but the words won’t come so you snap your jaw shut and stare at the glitter on the floor.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Yoongi says as he folds his arms across his chest, trying to not get distracted by the breasts he inadvertently touches. He decides to drop his hands to his hips instead.
Jin rolls his eyes. “Okaaaay... Number two is filling the chaos meter. Go crazy. Do the unexpected.”
“I don’t know what we’d do,” Yoongi admits, pacing around the circle.
“What if we kissed?” The voice is soft and sweet.
He turns to face you, a combination platter of surprise and confusion. “But we did.”
“Reeeeally?”
Jin’s laughter makes him feel like a fool. He was convinced you said it, despite knowing your voice is not your own right now. How stupid could he be, walking right into that? He squeezes his eyes shut a moment and then focuses his attention on the captive.
While Yoongi is distracted you’re working a pack of mentos out of their packaging. You kneel down and twist the cap off one of the liters of cola placed on the endcap you. The hiss of the carbonation makes Yoongi shift attention.
Your name on his lips is half a warning, half a question loaded with uncertainty. You open another bottle beside it before he can get close enough and drop mentos into each. The liquid erupts into two fizzy fountains that reach the ceiling and spill back down to the floor. Yoongi takes off his hat and grips his hair like he wants to tear it out.
“What are you doing?”
“Filling the meter?” you answer meekly with a shug, stepping back from the puddle on the floor.
Jin roars with laughter. “Oh man. There is no meter, but that was delightful.”
Yoongi grumbles and goes back to the counter, grabbing the laptop and sinking down behind it to hide from the pandemonium of this situation.
“You’re the worst,” you mutter as you pass Jin. You quickly sit next to Yoongi on the floor.
“It was a joke!” Jin calls. “Come on, don’t leave me alone here.”
“I’m sorry,” you apologize as his fingers rapidly tap the keys. “I’m trying to help.”
“I know.”
“What are you looking for?” you whisper.
Yoongi listens for a minute to the grumbling of the man trapped in the circle nearby. “How to trick a trickster. I have a feeling we need him to undo it but he won’t come out and say it.”
You sigh and press your chin against his shoulder. “I’m tired.”
He looks over and tips his head down to nuzzle his cheek against you. “I know.”
“Huh?” Your vision diverts to a shiny blue can beside him. “Are you serious?”
“Hmm? Oh yeah.” He picks it up and quickly downs the last sip, the Hot6 Logo shining back at you in mockery. “I found it earlier and needed a pick-me-up.”
“Did you find more?”
“Nope. Just the one.”
“But…” you pout. “I wanted it.”
He holds the empty can out to you. “It’s grown on me.”
“I’m about to die without the sweet taste,” you whine, shaking the can to make sure there’s nothing left.
“You’re so obnoxious.”
He rolls his eyes and cups your jaw, leaning in to press his lips against yours. You don’t protest when he dips his tongue past your lips to rub against yours. You can taste remnants of the drink on his tongue. If Hot6 wasn’t your favorite drink before this, it is now.
“Better?”
“Maybe. Still not sweet enough.” You giggle.
He takes the opportunity to kiss you again, crushing your mouth against his in a deeper kiss. You’re practically melting into him as his tongue glides against yours, moving in a rhythm that you now crave. It’s so easy to forget everything else, where you are, what’s happened to you. He moves to straddle your lap, grinding down intentionally as he grips the back of your neck. He knows you’re half-hard already and fuck if he doesn’t just want to have you again. You’re the only thing that feels real right now.
He pulls down the zipper of the hoodie you’ve given him to allow access to his neck. It’s not until he allows you to latch onto the sensitive flesh there, with his hands buried in your hair, that he notices the security mirror. You’re so hot. He wants to be in you so badly but he’ll settle for you being in him right now.
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Suddenly he notices the other person in the mirror. Jin is sitting cross-legged on the floor in his invisible prison, resting his chin on a hand as he stares back through the reflection with eyebrows raised. Yoongi quickly clears his throat and climbs off of you. You blink in confusion at the disruption until he points at the mirror and then you cast your gaze at the floor.
“We should take care of this.” He runs his fingers through his hair to compose himself before placing the cap back on his head and focusing his attention back on the computer.
“Wow, you almost went there with me watching. That would have done it for sure,” Jin says, breaking into a grin.
“Come on!” you shriek, popping up from behind the counter. “Please, just change us back.”
“I told you. I can’t,” he repeats firmly. “I actually don’t lie as often as you seem to think I do. Maybe you should try having sex. They say the soul leaves your body for an instant when you reach the finish line, you know. It can’t hurt. Ohhhh wait a minute...”
He jumps to his feet after watching the guilt flash across your face. Your eyes seem to dart around him, but never land close enough to his. Blood rushes through your ears, drowning out all the sounds that aren’t your heartbeat.
He smiles wickedly. “Oh my god, you already did. I mean, I get it. Who wouldn’t be curious? It’s only human to wonder. Oh, to be human… Seriously, have you tried talking about your feelings?”
You turn towards Yoongi and crouch back on the floor, disappearing from Jin’s view. He steps on his tiptoes to try and see around the counter before settling back on the security mirror. You can’t help but focus on his nosiness.
“Yoongi. I... Look. Can we go in the back? I need to talk to you. Privately.”
Jin clicks his tongue and sighs as the pair of you cross the store and slip into the door that reads ‘EMPLOYEES ONLY.’ You breathe a sigh of relief when Yoongi locks the heavy door behind you. He bites at his nails--your nails as he waits for you to say whatever you need to. You take his hands into yours.
“Things are weird right now and not just because of this,” you hold up his hands in yours. “Are you regretting everything now?”
He smirks and gives you a small laugh. He slinks away to rub the back of his neck. “I don’t regret anything. I mean what I said. I care about you. I just… I get embarrassed, I guess.”
He’s embarrassed? You didn’t think he was capable with how blunt he normally is. “Sorry,” you mumble. “I’m insecure. Sexy, right?”
Time seems to slow as he draws near. There’s a lighthearted laugh on his lips before they meet yours. It feels like the first time all over again. Butterflies erupt in your stomach and you throw your arms around his neck, desperate to get closer even though you’re already pressed up against each other. You lean into him as you gasp in his hot breaths between kisses. To counteract the weight you’ve pressed against him, he pushes you backwards. Your arms fly back to catch yourself as you stumble but you knock into a freestanding shelving unit. Cans of soup clatter to the floor and roll off in various directions as Yoongi steadies the rack to keep it from falling.
He sighs, dropping his forehead to your shoulder in defeat. “We should focus.”
You whimper and will yourself to move the pair of you away from the wire rack. You run your fingers through your hair and attempt to compose yourself. Everything feels like a dream. It’s hard to think with him consuming the majority of your thoughts. You clear your throat, hoping your mind will also clear with the action.
“Hey,” he says, fingers on the latch. He pauses to lock eyes with you. “It might have seemed like the heat of the moment, but I really mean what I said. So tell me you’ll stick around after this is done?”
You run up and lace your fingers in his free hand before giving it a firm squeeze. “Promise.”
As he opens the door Jin jumps like you’ve startled him with your presence. “Whoa, I thought maybe you’d murdered one another. I heard a loud bang.” His gaze drops to your entwined hands. “What? Did you finally embrace destiny?”
“Destiny. No destiny. It doesn’t matter,” Yoongi says calmly as he squeezes your hand. “This could all be a dream. But we’re here now. We care about each other in this moment. That’s real. That matters.”
Jin does a slow clap while grinning from ear-to-ear. “Wow! It usually takes people a few days, maybe a week!” He looks at his wrist as though he’s wearing an invisible watch. “It’s been, what, a day? You did good.”
“Does that mean you’re going to help us now?” You perk up immediately.
“I mean I think you’ve helped yourselves. You look happy. You’re comfortable, right? Can’t you just let me go and keep existing like this?”
When he’s met with silence he sighs. “Ahh, well there is one more thing you can do, I guess. Have you tried checking your pockets?”
His suggestion is met with eyerolls from the both of you. While nonsensical, the unexpected has become a staple of your current state of existence and you feel you owe it to yourself to at least entertain the possibility. Your fingers slip into your pocket and explore the ridges of the hard object nestled against the fabric. Excitement courses through you as you pull your half of the locket from the confines of your sweatpants. Dumbfounded, Yoongi sticks a finger into his tight jeans and fishes the other half of the necklace out of his pocket.
“Hah, I can’t believe you didn’t even look,” Jin says with a laugh. “Now put them on, place the pieces together and say ‘Me Hoy Nimoy.’”
You exchange a skeptical look with Yoongi but you both comply and blurt the phrase soon after linking the pieces of the necklace together. You hold your breath, waiting for something spectacular to happen but disappointment soon floods your lungs. Just as you’re about to speak up, Jin clicks his tongue.
“Ah, close your eyes. It won’t work if you’re watching.”
Yoongi grumbles. “You’re fucking with us.”
“Hey, some magic is shy. Follow the rules. Do you think I’m just making this all up?” he pouts.
Your answer comes in unison with Yoongi’s: “Yes.”
Jin looks hurt as he clutches a hand over his heart and staggers backwards. “Woooooow. Well, just do one more thing then. ”
A devilish grin soon replaces the expression and his squeaky laughter fills up the store. He points at the pair of you with both fingers and wags his fingers in circles. You feel compelled to turn in place. Yoongi matches the uneasiness in your gut with the panic in his eyes. You both spin in circles away from one another. Once. Twice. Three times. Just as you’re about to complain about the nausea churning fresh waves in your belly, Jin waves his hands inwards.
You’re lifted into the air. The toes of your sneakers leave behind squeaky skidmarks of rubber on the tile as the pair of you are dragged forward. Jin cocks his head to one side and examines you with an expression of stone. For a split second you’re terrified but then he breaks into a grin and snaps his fingers. His thumbs and index fingers form the shape of a heart as he holds them out and you drop to the floor.
Yoongi reaches out for your shoulder. There’s a soft tremble to his fingers as he pulls you close to him. When you look upon his visage you can already see his jaw transforming, a thin stubble growing in along its perimeter. Every time you close your eyes to blink more of his face has morphed back into his own. You look down at your own fingers and watch as the nails narrow and elongate. A glossy pink hue returns to them but the polish looks slightly less finished with the way Yoongi has gnawed on the edges all day.
Suddenly Yoongi is frantically scrambling to his feet, kicking off his shoes and working the zipper down on his jeans. Everything is quickly growing far too tight. The hoodie you’d given him just barely covers his crotch as he stands up straight. He looks over at you with a relieved sigh and cups your jaw.
“You good?” he asks, rubbing the pad of his thumb across your chin. It takes all of your self-control to keep from licking it as it grazes your lip.
You nod, eyes falling to the necklace dangling over his sweatshirt. As soon as you reach out to yank it off, the trinket disappears in a puff of purple smoke with a clap of Jin’s hands. He holds them in place like a silent prayer just below his chin, a strained smile staining his face just above his fingers.
“So, here’s the thing. I’m gonna need you to hold up your end of the deal.”
“Fix my store first. Clean up this mess you’ve caused,” Yoongi says while taking a step in front of you.
Jin’s bottom lip protrudes into a pout as he eyes the puddle of cola on the floor. “I didn’t do that,” he complains under his breath.
It’s incredible how close he came to freedom, incredible and frustrating. His magic may not be able to touch or alter the circle, but you almost freed him with your ignorance. If the liquid had run close enough to seep into the chalk, he would be somewhere far more sunny and beachy right now. He’s earned a vacation for this milestone of success.
“Fiiiine,” he concedes.
With a snap of his fingers the store is spotless once more. While Yoongi inspects the area of the tile floor previously coated in cola and glitter, you glide your foot over the circle of chalk and break the seal that binds Jin to his current location.
“Finally…” he sighs, side-stepping out from the invisible barrier. “You’re welcome, by the way. Invite me to the wedding, okay? Don’t forget the little people who helped you on the way. As for me... I’ve got a date with the pearly beaches of Accord.”
He swirls his wrist in the air and the pair of ugly red mirrored sunglasses appear on his nose just in time for him to adjust them. He lowers the specs to give you a wink before snapping his fingers. Before you can even call out for him to wait, he’s gone in a puff of purple smoke that quickly dissipates. You’re left in stunned silence to contemplate your existence.
What are you supposed to make of everything?
As you stand there on the cusp of a mental breakdown, soft, velvety petals brush against your cheek to steal your attention. The scent of the flower overtakes your senses as Yoongi uses it to tickle your nose. You find him smiling back at you, almost like he’s too shy to speak, but then he does.
“Weird day huh? Can I have my pants back?”
You hum thoughtfully, making sure the shutters of the shop are still shielding you both from the outside world. “Would you mind if I wanted to get back in them later?”
He snorts, holding back a laugh. “Been waiting to use that all day?”
“No, I just thought of it right now. Aren’t I impressive?” you say, wiggling your eyebrows at him. You shimmy out of the sweatpants and leave them pooled on the floor, doing your best to walk past him with grace and seduction.
“So impressive.”
He offers an amused laugh when you bend over to pick up the garments he was so quick to discard when his transformation reverted. You spare a glance behind you to see if he’s looking at the way you so blatantly flaunt your ass. He’s in the middle of dragging his bottom lip through his teeth when your eyes steal his attention.
“Something wrong?” A wicked grin belies your innocent tone.
He exhales a long breath and shakes his head, turning his attention to pulling his pants up. “Impressive isn’t the word. You’re obnoxious.”
“Isn’t that your way of saying you wanna make out?”
He’s quiet as he takes off the remainder of your clothes to reveal a muscular chest riddled with goosebumps. It’s hard to hide how your grin spreads wider as he approaches with them in hand. You’ve had dreams like this: he’s shirtless, asking you to take off your clothes so he can fuck you in his store. Right here with your tits against the cold glass of the fridge. It would be a dirty secret only the two of you would know and you’d think about it every time you’d come in for your energy drink.
You slowly lift the hoodie from your own body, trying to appear as alluring as possible. You make sure to arch your back as your breasts briefly catch in the fabric and then drop against your ribs, completely exposed to the chilly air. Much to your dismay he’s quick to spin away from you and mutters a “thanks” instead of naughtier offers.
He’s aware you might mistake it for rejection, but he’s hoping you don’t see the way his fingers tremble. It’s incredible how scared he feels being back in his own skin. The intimacy of your connection left a void behind that’s quickly filling with disquiet. He feels incomplete without a piece of you with him, lost in the vast emptiness of himself. How can he feel such need for you? His chest aches with the possibility that he won’t ever feel whole again. The bravery that possessed him while piloting your body has waned. Now that normalcy is somewhat restored, he has the chance to start processing the events of the day. A part of him begins to embrace the panic he’d previously pushed down and his confession replays in his mind as though he’s just spoken it.
It was a bold move, especially given the situation. It could have ended horribly. He puffs out his cheeks and holds his breath, trying to remind himself that it didn’t. It’s okay to let go of the anxiety over it, but he still feels so uncertain. Even turned away from you and fully clothed, he’s never felt more exposed and vulnerable. He tries to hide the burning of his ears by running his fingers through his hair and shielding them with his arms. He has to bring himself back or else you’ll be talking him down from a panic attack and he doesn’t want you to see him like that.
Stupid. Stop throwing yourself at him. You struggle to put on the tight clothing as quickly as possible. Tears threaten to fall as you awkwardly wiggle your jeans back and forth up your thighs and over the swell of your ass. You make sure to swipe at the corners of your eyes before clearing your throat to signify you’re fully changed. He spins to face you but everything he means to say gets lost on the way to his mouth. He freezes, overwhelmed by how beautiful you are even in this shitty lighting, and how thankful he is to be able to see you through his own eyes.
His heart pounds at the confines of his chest like it needs to burst from within. There’s a small burst of adrenaline that plumes from the explosion of butterflies in his stomach. It fills him with the courage he needs to close the distance between you with a kiss, the kind of kiss he’s been dreaming of giving you for months. Right here in this store.
He loves how eager you are to reciprocate when he tangles his fingers in your hair. He holds you there like you’re about to melt away in a puff of smoke. Your lips are so soft, so sweet, so warm pressing against his. His tongue rolls over yours, desperate to keep tasting and feeling more. You grasp behind his neck and dig your fingernails into his shoulder as he deepens the kiss. When you roll your hips towards him as a subtle test for determining his hardness, you can feel him smile against your lips.
“Not in the store.” He gives you one more chaste kiss and pulls back just enough to allow you both to breathe. He adjusts one of the boxes on the nearby shelves. “You already drive me crazy. If we do it here I’m going to be thinking about it every time I’m stocking shelves.”
“Yoongi…” you whine. “Please tell me you’re keeping it closed for the day.”
He sighs as he plucks his phone from the counter to check the time. “Might as well.”
“Can I walk you home?” You chew on your lip as you wait for his response. What you wouldn’t give to spend the night with him.
Unable to hide the smirk playing at the corners of his mouth, he nods his head towards the exit. “Why would we waste our time?”
Your heart sinks into your butt, thinking this must be it. He changed his mind after all. He hates you. There’s no doubt about it now. All you can manage is a squeaky, “Hmm?”
He rests his palm on the handle of the door and he presses his lips into a thin line, looking wide eyed. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him look so adorably hopeful and embarrassed at the same time. “You live closer.”
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The comforter at your back is soft and cool to the touch as you scramble to settle yourself against the pillows. Yoongi wastes no time wiggling off his sweatpants and climbing over you. The sound of your panting mingles with his as he hovers above you with his lips parted, trying to catch his breath. If the hurried ascent up the stairs wasn’t enough to have him gasping for air, the makeout session just inside your front door definitely has him devoid of oxygen. This still feels like a dream, but it’s one he doesn’t ever want to wake up from.
"How do you want it?" he whispers. He glides a finger up your thigh and lightly traces circles around your labia.
Your mind travels back to your earlier experience of coming undone and suddenly your stomach is doing flips.
"Just like this," you answer. "I want to feel you just like this. Do you remember where to touch?"
He nods, skimming his parted lips over yours while he places his finger over the hood of your clit. "Like this, right?"
"More pressure," you plead, working your hips in circles to coach his movements.
He does as you instruct and clamps his mouth over yours in a futile attempt to find relief for the aching need to be inside of you. He grinds himself against your side, his cock rubbing against your soft, heated skin as he tries to remember the exact motions needed to elicit enough pleasure to make you cum. He doesn't have to wait long until frenzied, weak moans are vibrating against his mouth so he turns his attention to your neck. He wants to hear how fucked out you are. He wants to hear how badly you want to cum. He wants to feel you pulse around his fingers.
As he plunges a thick finger deep into your cunt, a pathetic, desperate sound escapes you. "Oh, fuck."
"Feel good?" he mumbles into the hollow space between your neck and shoulder.
"Please. Please. Please. Please," you whimper incoherently, bucking your hips to meet each thrust of his finger. You can feel his cock rutting against your side and all you can do is imagine that he's pumping it into you instead of his fingers. "Oh fuck, Yoongi."
His lips twitch into a smile as he feels you tighten around his finger. He kisses your neck and sinks a second finger carefully inside you. You allow your head to fall against the pillow and bite your lip to try to contain the drawn out needy groan already helplessly spilling out of you. So close. Your back arches off the mattress and he wishes he wasn't so concentrated on the motions of his hands right now because he would absolutely love to be tonguing your perfect tits.
He pants against your skin and looks at them longingly. Maybe he can manage it? He's determined to use what he's learned about your body to help you cum, but not yet. You can't help but whine at the loss as he repositions himself, which breaks the sightline you had on your orgasm.
"Yoooongi... I was close..." You whimper when he abandons your cunt entirely to press your tits together. His mouth is hot as it clamps down on your nipple, giving the peak a hard suck before dragging it through his teeth.
"I know. Wanna make you cum with my tongue," he murmurs into the supple flesh.
He swipes his fingers along your cunt and swirls the wetness over your clit before bringing it to his mouth. You can already see how they glisten in the low light of your bedroom. The low moan that rumbles its way from his throat has you rocking your hips up against his pelvis as he settles between your legs. Your silent grinding isn't enough of a confirmation. He wants to hear you say it.
"Can I go down on you?" He blurts the shameless question while alternating between kissing both of your breasts and only pauses to meet your eyes.
You want to feel him everywhere but mostly you want his mouth on yours while he’s balls deep inside you. You don’t even care if you cum because being with him like this feels good. Being with him fills your heart with giddy hope and your stomach with butterflies. Being with him is enough. You want to tell him that but instead you nod and whimper out a pathetic “please.”
He wastes no time dipping his head down between your thighs to press the flat of his tongue against your clit. A low growl escapes with his exhale before he puckers his lips to kiss the soft skin and breathe in the heavy scent of your arousal. You’d be embarrassed if his tongue didn’t feel so magical. It glides against you so effortlessly, bringing pleasure with every quick flick against you.
Your hands dive into his hair and you start rolling your hips to grind his face harder against you. He doesn't seem to mind though. In fact he seems to embrace the motion, wrapping his arms around your thighs and pulling you in as closely as possible. If you weren't so preoccupied with the orgasm building just below the surface of the place where his tongue keeps hitting then you might worry that he's suffocating himself. Right now all you can focus on is the pleasure threatening to break you open and leave you spilling a million curses into the air around you.
"Yoongi. Fuck. I'm close," you warn, as if the frantic way you've twirled his hair around each of your fingers isn't enough to tip him off. Do you really think he can't feel the shaking of your thighs in this moment?
He hums a sound like he doesn't hear you, but he doesn't let up at all. He keeps his pace steady for you as you approach your end once again. Your nails scratch against his scalp but he doesn't mind. He actually really likes the way you're losing your mind over the simple things he's doing with his tongue right now. He can't even begin to imagine the pretty sounds that might spew from your lips with practiced effort but he knows he can't wait to hear them.
Suddenly your hand flies up to pound the wall behind you and you announce the wave of pleasure coursing through your clit through the use of a loud string of expletives. He can feel the way your flesh pulses beneath his tongue and he revels in it. You ride his face so well. You can ride it for as long as you want as often as you want. He wants to tell you that but he also wants you to ride out your high for as long as it lasts, so he lets you buck your hips and raise your cunt off the bed. He lets you thrash around through the sensitivity until you're finally pushing his face off with both hands.
"Good? Do you need more?" he verifies, rising from between your legs to deliver a messy, wet kiss to your lips. He smirks through it, knowing he really doesn't need to ask at all to know the answer.
"Cheeky fuck," you murmur, not bothering to even attempt to hide your matching grin against him. "I need it."
"What do you need?" His fingers trail a soft line down your side, reminding you that his teasing nature is simply a front for his caring heart.
"I need you inside me." Your breathing is spotty as you pepper kisses along his jaw. "Like this. I want you to feel me the way I felt you."
It doesn't take long until you're tasting yourself on his lips again. He shifts slightly and you know he's lining himself up with your entrance when you feel the swollen tip of his fat cock nudging at your hole. He's slow to thrust into you. In fact he stills, only giving you shallow, teasing thrusts. He favors letting you wiggle down just a little bit to coax him in. He smiles against your lips and pushes in further, giving you that stretch you were hoping for.
When you suck in a sharp breath he pulls out, but as soon as you whine in protest, he's already carefully moving to slide it back in. The slow stretch has your jaw dropping open and he takes the opportunity to bite on your lower lip. You take the bait and feed him hungry kisses until he’s completely buried inside of your tight cunt. He takes a moment to growl a low sound that has you clenching around him.
“So tight,” he whispers, pausing to curl an arm beneath your head.
He presses the back of your hand against the mattress as he twines his fingers with yours. He drives himself deeper into you with each slow thrust and it feels like he still can’t get close enough. So you raise your other arm above you and angle it until you’re linking your fingers with the ones beneath your head. You kiss his cheek and savor the intimate moment.
When he lazily sinks into your cunt again you crack a smile. “Can't you fuck me harder than that?"
"Mmm." He lifts his head and seems to accept your challenge. His hips pull out slowly and suddenly slam back into you. This sets a new fervent pace that has you squeezing both of his hands. "What do you think? Is this better?"
You do little to actually answer his question and instead offer a slew of swears and moans each time his balls slap against your ass. "Shit. Fuck, fuck fuck. Yoongi..."
"What kind of answer is that?" he asks innocently.
"God, your cock..."
"Mhm," he prods.
"Feels so good, Yoon."
He chuckles. "Yoon... Cute."
"I'll show you cute," you huff.
"Oh?"
You release his hands in favor of pressing your palms against his chest. He pulls out and before you can miss the way he fills you, you're flipping him down on the mattress. You swing a leg over his pelvis and straddle him. It takes you a moment to properly position yourself. You give his length a few pumps in your hand before lining it up with your entrance.
"Careful," he warns, planting his hands on your thighs. "Don't wear yourself out."
You sink down quicker than you probably should. You're eager to make him cum faster than he did for you. The wetness in your core seeps down in translucent trails down your inner thighs. Your own brand of lubricant seems to be enough to keep the stretch pleasurable. Yoongi bites his lip as he gazes down at the way you're bouncing on his cock. You know how good it feels for him, especially with how hard your pussy is squeezing him.
"Don't worry about me."
The sensory overload building in your gut coated with the memory of the unique experience. It mixes with the high threatening to burn its way from your core. You take a deep breath and exhale loudly before you continue. You revel in a slow descent, memorizing every kind of way the stroke makes you feel. Then you begin to quickly draw him in and out of your cunt. The obscene sounds of wet, rapid slapping fill the room.
After a few minutes you've finally got a good rhythm down. Despite the cramp throbbing down your obliques, he's hitting that sweet spot inside you at just the right angle. If you didn't know any better you'd think you're about to cum again. You steady yourself on his chest and trail your hand to his stomach to maintain your balance. Trying to keep the unrealistic pace you'd previously set for yourself is proving difficult, but you swear you're feeling like maybe you're about to crest into the biggest climax of your life. Then again, it could certainly be the biggest letdown now that you're aware of it. Your orgasms have left you for less.
Yoongi knots his eyebrows together in concentration and he reaches down to rub circles against your clit. His fingers are clumsy and new to this angle but they're feather light. He can see in your face that you're chasing some great new high and he just wants to help you achieve it without overdoing it. He knows how shy your cunt is about giving you orgasms so he really wants to do it right. Is this right? He figures you'll tell him if it isn't.
You moan weakly in response. Suddenly, you know it's coming. You can feel it building every time his hips slap up to meet yours. "Oh my fuck."
His abdominal muscles flex beneath your palm and he forces his breaths through his nose as he struggles to keep himself composed. Your cunt is squeezing him so tightly that he knows he's on the brink of his own release but he's determined to help you feel as good as you make him feel.
"That's it. Cum for me again." He tries to coax it with those strong pleas, but his voice is broken with an inhale sharp enough to cut his words.
Both of your thighs are coated in slick sweat. You don't think you've ever felt so fucking wet in your life. He glistens just as much in the dim light so you know between the two of you there's a puddle of sweat soaking your sheets. It's easy to forget how gross or embarrassing it is when the tip of his cock rubs against your g-spot so well. Right now the only thing that matters is getting relief for this pressure building behind your clit.
Despite the shakiness of his fingers, he's able to coax it out of you. Your trembling thighs feel like an earthquake that's finally reached its peak tremor and you find yourself crying out and bouncing to the rhythm of your spasming cunt. You chant your praises and curses in the same breath. His name is a drawn out breathy expression of gratitude and bliss. As soon as you slump forward to kiss him he takes your hands in his own and frantically pumps himself up into you. He can still feel the involuntary flex of your cunt even after you've clearly expended every ounce of your energy reaching and literally riding out your second orgasm.
"Can I cum inside?" he asks between frantic breaths.
"Well, you're not gonna make it to these tits," you tease with a smirk. You may be spent but you'll always have the energy to give him shit. "Do it."
"So fuckin hot," he mumbles against your lips.
The muffled grunts expelled against your mouth and the slow, deliberate snap of his hips leave you in a state of surreal euphoria. He squeezes your hands in his along with his release to let you know this is real. You're here with him. When he comes down from his high he kisses you gently one more time and pulls back to look at you. You take the break in physical connection to roll off of him and stretch out your aching calves and let the air from the fan cool your skin. The tingling in your legs tells you not to get up right now, as much as the fear of a UTI screams at you to do the contrary. Instead you turn your head towards Yoongi and he smiles at you. Sleep threatens to take you when he begins to stroke your hair.
"If you'd have told me last week I'd feel this close to someone, I'd have laughed at you," he starts in a quiet voice, "but I feel really close to you. I'm glad this insanity happened to us."
"Me too." You can't help but smile back. "I don't want to go to sleep because I'm afraid you'll be gone when I wake up. What if this is a dream?"
"Then I'll find you when I wake up. You'd better find me too."
"What if we forget?"
He grabs your hand and runs his thumb over your knuckles. "I won't forget."
"Promise?"
"Mhm." He closes his eyes, clearly every bit as exhausted as you are. He's quiet for a minute and you think maybe he's already fallen asleep until he peeks out from under his eyelids. "... I think you need glasses."
"What?"
"I was just thinking. I felt like I was squinting all the time when I was you. Maybe that's why it took you so long to see how I felt." He shows off a big, toothy grin.
"Wow that guy really rubbed off on you, huh?"
You smack him in the face with a pillow when you get up.
╭⋟────────────────────────╮
╰────────────────────────⋞╯
The muffin and can of Hot6 sit on the counter, guarded by Yoongi's forearm.
"Wow, you already have my stuff ready? Is this the kind of perk I get for dating the owner?" you wonder.
He rolls his eyes. "Not yours until you pay for it."
"You're so sweet, not eating my muffin this time."
He drags his lip through his teeth and tries to hold back a devilish smirk. "I've found better things to eat, don't you think?"
Your heart thumps against your chest and you do your best to remind yourself that offering to suck his dick behind the counter is not what you should be doing in this situation. But you want it so bad. He watches your internal struggle with raised eyebrows and a smug smile. He slides the energy drink towards you.
"Here. This is on me today. You look a little thirsty."
Your shoulders raise and then deflate with your sigh. "Do you even want me to come back later?"
"What? It's free for you. You should be happy."
"And the muffin? What do I owe for that?"
He mimics your dramatic sigh and places it before you. "It's crazy. Your boyfriend offered to pay for that too."
"He's so generous." You shake your head but it can't keep the grin from your face. "Lots of free stuff today."
"It's a... special for today only. So don't get used to it or anything. But there is one more thing we're having a sale on, if you're interested."
"Hmm?"
"Free of charge, for you only." He taps his lips with both pointers, looking impossibly cute. His charm is devastating, really.
He cracks a smile and you feel yours grow impossibly wider. You lean over the counter and give him a sweet kiss.
"How long does this offer last?"
"As long as you want."
"Forever."
"Forever, it is." He gives you one more quick peck. "I've gotta mop the floor and you're gonna be late for work."
"Ugh. Wanna trade?"
He purses his lips and gives your hand a little squeeze. "Not a chance."
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polyadvice · 3 years ago
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I realized I'm polyamorous, but my partner is not okay with it, and I feel awful
Hey, I recently discovered that I am poly, and my partner and I talked about it. They came to the conclusion a few days ago that they can't handle a poly relationship at the moment due to personal reasons, and they don't know if they'll ever be comfortable with it.
I don't expect a solution, but do you have any advice? The exchange left me with a pit in my chest. I don't want them in a situation that they aren’t 100% okay with, I don't want to leave them ever, I love them so so much, but I also don't want to be stuck with this feeling forever.
I write about this topic on my FAQ here.
Essentially, this is a deeply human problem. Life is full of choices, and making those choices often requires us to let go of other options. This agony is well captured in Sylvia Plath’s metaphor of the fig tree. Taking a job in a big city with lots of community and nightlife means we can’t also live on a sprawling alpaca farm. Staying home and getting a good night’s rest means we’ll miss out on the concert our friends go to, and going to the concert means missing out on a good night’s rest.
I don’t mean to be glib - this is a painful situation! - but it’s not unique to polyamory and monogamy, and it’s not even unique to relationships. In your heart, you probably already know how to make choices and commit to them and let go of regret and resentment over what could have been, because you’ve been practicing it all your life.
If you want to stay with this person, you will have to make some sacrifices. You know that indefinite monogamy is a condition of this relationship. Sometimes we don’t get everything we want, and that sucks. You can be disappointed that life isn’t perfect, and you are free to grieve your lack of opportunity to try out a polyamorous relationship. But don’t let that regret or resentment fester. Remind yourself that this was something you chose freely, and that it’s worth it to you in order to stay in the relationship.
Imagine that your partner was severely allergic to cats, and being with them meant you could never have a pet cat. You might feel bummed out about this, and you might even feel a pang of longing when you visit a friend with a cat, but if you’ve decided that you’re willing to forgo cat ownership in order to date this person, that’s just the choice you gotta live with. Waking up every morning and being upset that you can’t have a cat, or constantly ruminating on your cat-less life, isn’t going to be healthy or fair.
You may discover that it’s just too much for you to give up, and that you really do feel that you need to try out polyamory, or own a cat, in order to be happy and fulfilled. In that case, you’ll still need to make a sacrifice to get what you want - you’ll need to leave that relationship. Which will also be a painful loss, and it will also feel awful, but it will be necessary in order to pursue the life you want.
Ultimately, only you can decide what sacrifices you are willing to make. Only you can choose which fig to reach out and pluck, and which others to let fall to the ground uneaten. The fact that we have to choose is often aggravating and painful, and no one likes facing a tough choice, but it’s necessary and entirely survivable.
I am sorry that you’ve found yourself in a situation where you can’t get everything you want, and that you feel a “pit” in your chest. Try to give it time, know that you are fully able to cope with disappointment, and then do what you need to do to live your best life in this flawed, complicated reality.
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unholyplumpprincess · 3 years ago
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Donna Beneviento Headcanons
Gonna be doing all the Lords and Ladies! Alcina Dimitrescu and Karl Heisenberg done!
!Minors and ageless blogs dni, this is an adult work!
Warnings: R18+/NSFT below the cut, SFW above the cut, reader is gn and ambiguous, mentions of somno and consensual drugging
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• Angie serves almost like a best friend to her, so in sync that her thoughts are Angie’s. Though most people think that Angie is a projection of Donna’s voice, it’s more like her most internal thoughts without any social guidelines hindering her. Making Angie say things like when seeing someone’s cleavage. “Woah get a load of THOSE honkers.” while Donna herself would obviously Not say that aloud.
• After her parents passed, due to the trauma of it all Donna completely locked herself away- save for traveling to the other Lords’ and Ladies’ estates when needed. Agoraphobia prevents her from going pretty much anywhere else, but she did used to visit the local farmer who sheared sheep and alpacas and spun their own yarn and fabrics. And the local farmer that sold leathers.
• Donna is very anxious and quiet, non-verbal and finding it difficult to find her voice. Angie normally fills any silences that may happen, but even then sometimes she says things that have Donna scrambling to cover her mouth and shake her head, furiously blushing beneath her veil all the while.
• Donna enjoys all arts and crafts- not just doll making or sewing. But she likes knitting, coloring, painting, drawing, gardening, and even writing poetry. As far as knitting, sometimes she catches herself making baby clothes and smiling down at them. They normally end up being altered to fit a doll, but during Rose’s brief stay with her she had been delighted that some of the clothes she had made fit her. It also made it Incredibly hard for her to let her go until Mother Miranda snapped at her.
• As a lover, Donna is so gentle and giving. She speaks with her body and her hands, or Angie being her voice when she is unable. Normally Angie is more blunt than she ever would be, but if her partner finds Angie enjoyable then well, Donna’s hooked.
• Donna has spent so long alone that she’s mastered cooking. Being able to cook FOR someone is a dream come true! But that means she does a lot more baking and cooking, tending to watch you while fussing with her own fingers and clearly anxious about your reaction. You can always feel her beaming in the room when you compliment or say you especially like something.
• Donna’s love languages are physical affection and gift giving, emphasis on gift giving. She wants to make you clothes, buy you them, cook for you, feed you, sit with you, spend time with you. If you like your alone time- you may need to tell her that. She also likes her own solitude, but sometimes she forgets because she likes your presence so much.
• PET NAMES PET NAMES PET NAMES!!! Though Donna would much prefer to call you things in her native tongue and things like ‘My love’ ‘My treasure’ ‘My darling’, Angie tends to use...well...vulgar language. So your most used ones from her are ‘Hot stuff’ ‘Sweet face’ ‘Sugar tits’ and ‘Toots’.
• Despite modern technology, Donna prefers older technology. Including keeping her father’s old record player and records that she constantly plays through the house to keep noise around.
• Due to her mutation, Donna’s ability to secrete a mist that causes deep hallucinations and things like that can also cause other things. But Donna has used this against you in a good way, because when you’re in your ‘dream’ state, she can project herself to you and remove her veil and talk to you. She tells you in those catatonic states about how it’s easier because that isn’t ‘really’ her to her.
!NSFT under cut here!
• Remember what I said about her mist and how she uses it on you? Yeah. She’s also able to finally touch you in that state. And oh, oh is her mouth filthy sometimes when she’s like that. It’s her world, hers to manipulate and shift- and she uses it to her advantage to make herself more confident. Where her lips and teeth can press to you and she can murmur in your ear how long she’s waited to taste you. How she might do it when you sleep tonight and do not stir-
• In real life, Donna does not meet your eye when you are free of that state in the mornings. But you know she’s watching you, watching you rub phantom marks that do not lay on your skin despite you knowing you’d felt her touch there. But you enjoy the way she squeaks when you look at her with a coy little look and a smirk on your lips as if asking her if that’s really how she wanted to play.
• Donna also is...very talented sexually. But not from experience. She has hundreds to thousands of books in her house and a majority of them in her bedroom. A lot are on things like botanicals, foraging, dollmaking, etc. But a lot are of things like sex positions, basic sex ed, to downright raunchy and kinky things and safety behind them. You’re just basically her test dummy for all the things she’s been waiting to do.
• Talented, talented, talented hands. She can make you come undone from them alone. Very soft hands with light callouses on her fingertips and her knuckles scarred over from all her wood working and sewing. Her nails are always trimmed short, something you could simply pass as her needing short nails to work. But now? Now you know better.
• Her top kinks are: Somno, consensual drugging, breeding kink, and shibari. Somno comes from her desire to touch you, but her fear of you seeing her. Plus she just likes how...peaceful you look. Consensual drugging- same thing, but she also feels a sense of power behind it. Breeding is due to her wanting a family, ofc, and shibari is her liking artistic things. And seeing you in such a state, my, she might combust.
• She’s a huge service top. She just wants to please you and make you beg for it. She also enjoys when you’re dreaming with her, and she’s able to slink her fingers into you and brush your lips together and steal every breath and gasp you make as she raspily praises you.
• Be careful of this shy girl. She can only hold herself back so long before she must mark you and claim you as her own.
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pop-goes-the-sneasel · 3 years ago
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Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Arceus?
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Arceus!!!! The Original One!
Arceus is a pretty big deal. According to legends – or at least the legends of Sinnoh – Arceus is responsible for the creation of the entire pokemon world, and potentially the entire universe. Mythology was a heavy theme of the Sinnoh games, as was the continual conceptual power creep of Legendary pokemon. The version mascots of Diamond and Pearl – Dialga and Palkia – respectively represent time and space with reality-warping powers to match. Arceus, in turn, is essentially the ultimate culmination of this power creep – an almighty creator god hatched in a void before the universe existed. Again, just according to legend.
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That said, the only creation-y thing Arceus was ever shown to do was manifest an egg containing Dialga, Palkia, or Giratina in HGSS as part of a special event. This is probably the means it created the universe with – it just made Dialga and Palkia then they did all the actual creative stuff. This event was also accompanied by a very surreal cutscene featuring real-life photographs of space, landscapes, cities, and even blood cells, along with some arcane symbols. Frankly the sheer insanity of this cutscene is probably the strongest argument for Arceus being a legitimate godlike being. There has never been anything quite as jarringly strange in this franchise before or since.
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Another question Arceus raises is how many are there, exactly? Legendary and Mythical pokemon are both established as incredibly rare, but not even the human-modified Mewtwo and Genesect are treated as truly one-of-a-kind. As such, I highly doubt Arceus has just one sole member of its species. The dex entries make reference to how it shaped the universe with its “1,000 arms”, which is obviously a peculiar statement given Arceus has no visible arms at all. My theory is that the term “arm” is being used metaphorically here – the universe was actually created by 1,000 different individual Arceus. Assuming it did create the universe, I mean. And of course, that might not be an exact number.
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Anyway, as a Mythical pokemon, Arceus historically isn’t available through normal means, instead being distributed through special real-world events. Notably, it was one of several Mythical and Legendary pokemon of the era intended to be obtained through capture, with Arceus spawning in a special location atop Mt. Coronet known as the Hall of Origin. The Hall of Origin would be accessed using the Azure Flute (or Heaven Flute, in Japan) – an item distributed by the associated event. Unfortunately, though, the Azure Flute event never actually materialized, apparently because Game Freak believed it would be “too confusing” for players to use. Instead, Arceus was just given to the player directly without any special fanfare, and this became the norm for almost all Mythical pokemon thereafter. Still, the Azure Flute and Hall of Origin maintained a certain mystique, especially due to their lack of official use.
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To represent Arceus’s omnipotent nature, it has an ability known as Multitype. Multitype allows Arceus to change its type based on what elemental Plate it holds, with one Plate for every type besides Normal (Arceus’s default type). The Plates bear engravings describing their legend, each supposedly being a shard of the universe left over from its creation. Each different type yields a slightly different appearance, usually changing the yellow components of Arceus’s design and sometimes the gray parts as well, generally corresponding to the main thematic color of each type. Dragon is a notable exception, as rather than using the usual color of indigo, Dragon Arceus uses a dark green and purple. Arceus also bears a signature move known as Judgement, which changes its type to match Arceus’s current form.
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While the other forms are sometimes more aesthetically interesting, it’s the Normal-type Arceus that really best-captures the intended vibes of the pokemon. The yellow and white combo gives off a certain “holy” appearance. Paired with the moves “Judgement” and “Punishment”, Arceus seems to particularly allude to Abrahamic conceptions of God, though thankfully it does so in a decidedly unique way. Although the basic silhouette of Arceus is a rather “normal” animal, perhaps most resembling an alpaca, but its specific features remarkably uncanny. Its legs end in footless points, its stomach is oddly engorged, and its body is covered in peculiar points and knobs. Its face is also wholly unnatural, with no clearly defined features beyond its colorful eyes and green circles below them that almost evoke another pair of eyes. The ring around its body seems intended to represent a halo, but does so in a way I’ve never seen on anything else. Arceus definitely feels “godly”, whether it’s truly a god or not.
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Appropriate for a god, Arceus has a history of breaking some established conventions of the TCG as well. Its original appearance in the eponymous Arceus set had an Arceus card corresponding to every type in the TCG, with a special Arceus-specific ruling that you can have as many Arceus cards in your deck as you want, rather than being limited to four. These cards weren’t actually that great, though. It wasn’t til relatively recently that Arceus got a card truly appropriate for a deity: a Tag Team card alongside Dialga and Palkia. Their GX attack, Altered Creation GX, allows them to do more damage to your opponent for the rest of the game in addition to taking an additional prize card for every pokemon you knock out. This is anunprecedented degree of power, and the ADP archetype has become a format-shaping force.
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Arceus’s shiny is kinda mediocre. It replaces the white with a creamy yellow, clashing horribly with the yellow accents of its Normal form and generally being kinda hit-or-miss with the other forms. Shown here is the shiny variant of Arceus’s Fairy form, which I chose to showcase because the Fairy form isn’t shown above and because it’s probably my favorite of the bunch. It actually looks pretty alright with the yellow body, thankfully.
Overall, Arceus really isn’t my personal style, but I don’t dislike it. I don’t think the franchise really needed an all-powerful creator god, but I do think Arceus is a pretty cool one. Hopefully Legends: Arceus does something cool with it.
The number of footprints Arceus's 1,000 arms leave in the sand/10
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