elizabethplaid

[elizabethplaid]

Pride and Prejudice 2005 ☼ dir. Joe Wright

[elizabethplaid]

HELLO??

[elizabethplaid]

Yup, you sent me the dress in 2019, when you also sent the butterfly collar and new bird girls, Swansea and Sparrow. I had styled the dress as a skirt on Magpie, hiding it under this red shirt.

You might have also sent those white lace tights. There were many extra bits included, which weren't documented or shared at the time. Another example was those lace-up pants that you experimented with. They fit my (headless at the time) Antoinette, but I never took more than this one pose. Photos under a cut, because this is already a long post:

Done with her face for the moment. I tried to mimic vintage Barbie eye paint with the turquoise.

I am very happy with her lips. Not thrilled with the eye glare or the lumpy whites, but the whites at least aren’t all my fault; her vinyl is lumpy.

I’m actually pretty surprised that I like the eyebrows on the first try! I used some Schwabinchen dolls for reference and some of them have that great arched brow so I went for it. What a face.

[elizabethplaid]

early morning notes - nov 4, 2024

Both phone-friend and streamer-friend were busy this weekend, so I spent my time napping and playing on my phone. (And taking photos of Wampus, which have been popular.) I sent them both well-wishes, but I didn't want to bother them. Both needed the break from their daily routines. Also, I was the one to suggest canceling this week's call, out of respect.

Thursday (Halloween, Oct 31st) was my dental appointment and some shopping, which left me very fatigued, both physically and mentally. Friday through now, my sense of touch has been hyper-aroused, but it's less scary than what happened at the end of August. (At least I didn't break my chakra, like I feared last time.)

I "took matters into my own hands" on Friday, but the sensations have persisted. I've been hesitant to say anything, as there's really nothing to be done. It's fun to whine when it's amusing, but it feels embarrassing and frustrating this time. I'm tired; I want to sleep; I don't want to be aroused. I'm too tired to do anything about it.

Sunday (Nov 3) was Friends-giving with Neighbors-S+J. I didn't go, because I'm so wonked, but dad brought home dessert. I was an impulsive fool and ate it right away, though it was close to midnight. I was most of the way through the cheesecake when I realized it'd been on the counter for a few hours. Ah, that pesky food safety. I stopped eating it and threw the rest away. (Cookies and chocolate pieces were saved and set in the fridge, as those are usually more stable.)

My impulsiveness also kept me from making a "proper" meal for myself. In the morning, I'll have something with more food groups, but emotions are clinging to that cheesecake and not sitting well with me. (Not nauseated, just some regret mixed with other weird things.) I'm near the end of my cycle, so that's my excuse for my current condition, at least partly.

I've taken my meds this morning, though I think I was late to take them yesterday (closer to noon). I was going to finish tasks for a game-event on my phone, but fatigue has eroded away my interest. There are some echoes of a dream that are lingering (kissing a hand, fairy bread), along with reading the symbolism from another recent dream, bothering my thoughts. Again, fatigue makes me want to ignore them.

I'm trying to search my memories for answers to my current situation. I've talked about this with my counselor and phone-friend. I've developed strategies before. I just can't think right now. It wasn't actions; it was attitudes, how to regard things and not get discouraged.

She also asked how I felt about the portraits from that dream, the one that's still bugging me. The symbolism site I read said it was "how you want to be seen by others", and that's true, but the details about the artist made it weird. I noted contrasts with other dreams of similar themes. Need to write down those imagery-symbols, so I can report back later.

The part about grout in dentures paralleled my dental cleaning, as well. It bothers me that it was a prediction, in a sense. The only other predictive dream I've had was related to my assault. And that anniversary is later this month, so I'm trying to keep my brain from revisiting those unhappy places.

There were also some story scenarios I envisioned as I went through that endorphin crash. I wrote about it but saved it as a draft, as it felt too painful to let anyone else see. I just had counseling the day before dental, so it's another week+ before we talk again. If I'm not feeling better by Tuesday, I'll ask for an earlier appointment.

I know there are bad feelings bubbling closer to the surface right now. They're buried under a layer of numbness, at the moment, which is also preventing me from thinking much. I appreciate how my brain is unconsciously/subconsciously? protecting me.

Still working through how much I allow myself to lean on others. This pain isn't new; there's nothing to be done by either me or them. So why bother sharing it? Maybe I'm using that as a cover-up for shame, too. Vulnerability is embarrassing, after all. Guess the mental health stuff is pretty heavy if I'm wrestling with philosophical stuff about deserving to be cared for. But it's also not easy to undo a lifetime of bad lessons, so I must be patient and kind with myself. I think I'll take a nap.

[elizabethplaid]

Do people know about the long term sponsorship MBMBAM used to have with Extreme Restraints (like several months of weekly ads) where they’d have to talk about various sex toys and once had to talk about them in a completely PG-13 way for candlenights. Do PEOPLE NOT KNOW that Extreme Restraints sent the McElboys an anonymous list of all the weird shit people bought with their coupon code.

No one talks about the long period of time when the McElboys were sponsored by a sex toy/bdsm online store and put their hearts and souls into those ads and I’m afraid it’s because people don’t know about it

[elizabethplaid]

She left me again. She looks so scruffy.

Wampus in a living room lap - Nov 2, 2024

Spending the afternoon in the living room again today, sitting in a different spot than usual. This is the second time she has crawled into my lap since I came in here. (She needed a break by herself, in the recliner, at one point.)

Earlier, I was giving scritchies with my left hand, which was also holding up my phone. Got tired of my game long after she left. After pulling up tumblr, she returned.

Purrhaps she wanted more adoration from her fans? I'm very happy to see people enjoying her cup noodles picture from yesterday.

[elizabethplaid]

Wampus in a living room lap - Nov 2, 2024

Spending the afternoon in the living room again today, sitting in a different spot than usual. This is the second time she has crawled into my lap since I came in here. (She needed a break by herself, in the recliner, at one point.)

Earlier, I was giving scritchies with my left hand, which was also holding up my phone. Got tired of my game long after she left. After pulling up tumblr, she returned.

Purrhaps she wanted more adoration from her fans? I'm very happy to see people enjoying her cup noodles picture from yesterday.

[elizabethplaid]

Hand kissing is sacred, high romance and I think we need to revive it

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If you’re pining you need to stop and pick a different tree. You know, spruce it up a little

[elizabethplaid]

Madeline After Prayer, 1868 by Daniel Maclise (Irish, 1806–1870)

[elizabethplaid]

Found this on the auction site of thriftstores in Flanders. Wonder if the picture is upside down to make it less NSFW?

what the fuck

[elizabethplaid]

The other important thing I've learned from the horny side of tumblr is how sexy hands tattoos can be. It's made me consider getting tiny ones on my fingers, even just little dots. Plus, there's that one knitter who marked quarter-inch intervals, to help measure heel flaps when knitting socks.

I could never decide on another design and placement after my first one. I've got plenty of ideas, but the placement is more tricky to me.

[elizabethplaid]

Like, I'm very careful about not showing nip, but it's still clear that my shoulders are bare. And some of the pics with my hair down are so gorgeous. I really felt like a painter's muse; hashtag goals.

Considering the interest from the dress pics I posted back in April, bare shoulders would def drive up the notes.

People who are more open about sharing images of their bodies online have my respect. I've learned to admire my body more after seeing pictures from others; I'm very grateful to not feel alone, that I can see my own beauty mirrored on others. But I also see strangers' comments and some more crude sides, along with mentions of harassment.

After the April pics, I had one very polite interaction with someone, where he sent photos as well. I accepted some but not all, and he was very nice. We never talked again after, but I know he was an exceptional example. Really, so polite; I had to tell a few friends how nice he was.

Idk why this is sticking in my head, to the point I want to talk publicly about it. My skin is too sensitive, and I can't ignore the weight of my clothes today, ugh.

I got a couple new followers, and I worried that I accidentally posted some "artsy" self-portraits.

I try so hard not to be horny on main.

[elizabethplaid]

I got a couple new followers, and I worried that I accidentally posted some "artsy" self-portraits.

I try so hard not to be horny on main.

[elizabethplaid]

Wampus is miffed at my lack of brand loyalty

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physically? im here, but mentally im in a renaissance painting wearing a silk dress and looking wistfully into the distance

[elizabethplaid]

MTV boombox Lego set by Brickcraft

I got this set back in June, but I didn't photograph it until now. It's such a cute set and relatively simple. The MTV logo-piece (a sticker) opens up to reveal a pink "mix tape" inside.

In 1-6 scale, it'd be a very old-school style of boombox, and the cassette would be VHS-sized. For 1-4 scale, it's something more modest. (Zuru Mini Brands shoebox for size reference.)

On the back, the "antenna" adjusts up and down. It pops off easily, so I almost wish it had been attached at the top of the boombox. That would help it lay flat, too.

The front panel is made of 3 clear horizontal pieces, rather than a single one. The gray parts on the inside of the door have hinges to connect to the body of the boombox.

I like the detail of the chunky switches. Or are they buttons? One is positioned to look like it's pressed down, as if the tape is playing.

The speakers on the front are black dish-shapes. They might pop off if pressed the wrong way, but the set is pretty solid over-all. Only the antenna has been finicky for me.

Inside, you can see the details of the "tape". The white bobbins feel loose, like they spin in place. Tiny sticker on the front says "MTV mix tape". On the inside of the cassette space, there aren't any spindles to keep the tape in place. The front door doesn't snap shut, so there's a chance the tape could fall out by accident.

I always remember boomboxes being silver or black, but I really like the blue-and-green color scheme. Add in the pink tape, and I'm a smitten kitten. Def aimed towards modern color schemes, but it also reminds me of the bright colors Nickelodeon used in the 1990s (ie my childhood).

Lastly, I thought someone might be curious about the Halloween bat socks I had on my headphones yesterday, so I took a pic of the tag. It was a set of 3 socks, found at Goodwill during my fall-2021 trip to NH. The set also came with a gray-yellow-black striped pair and a solid black pair.