#sometimes I hate how masculine I am

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

My gender is weird, being genderfluid is weird, if I had a single say in this I would’ve picked something easier for me to wrap my head around

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

Sorry. I meant cis ted.  I would never baby girls transman that would be offensive.

???? yeah i mean. i kind of figured you probably meant cis ted, i was saying I got distracted on the topic of feminization kink. also i mean. yeah it CAN be offensive but i was talking about how me, as a trans man, enjoys feminization kink on a trans male/transmasc character (in this case trent, sorry) bc i project a lot😩 and it's fun specifically because of the inherent contradictory na--i mean i did explain this? didn't i? i. sorry??

[yuribalisms]

Lesbian or trans guy…. Lesbian or trans guy… lesbian or trans guy…. That is The question

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[justthoughtsandstuffblog]

Damn I meant to get on the Man Train™ to Man Town™ to go to Man Job™ today but somehow I accidentally got on the Dysphoria Train™ instead :/

[wistfulfag]

been thinking about goin by (chucky voice) genda fluid lately....

[jazzywrldastro]

✮Astro Observations - 1✮

⇱ Mars in 11th- can have a few friends and it

means that there's only a few people that can be with you be with you. You have to look for friends sometimes you can attract toxic people. get along with men.

⇱ Libra risings- make decisions based on other peoples opinions and then regret them. Sometimes they want to please other people and make those decisions and then they quickly regret it after a while.

⇱ Mercury in the 12th - attract a lot of gossipers.

People can say stuff behind their backs. People can make up things about them and it's very quiet sometimes sometimes they don't even know about it. They need to be careful what they say to whom because people can be very jealous and envious and try to pull them down. (honestly I feel bad for these people.)

⇱ Venus in 11th - people find these people

beautiful even though they don't see it subconsciously (I actually have an 11th cancer Venus and people see me is very nurturing and very beautiful and i'm like " girl bye " but i actually really am)

⇱ fire signs - impatient as hell. they won't wait for you. if you don't give them too much or you don't give them all they'll leave you. If they have a Mars and fire sign, they're quick to resent very quickly if you don't fulfill their dreams they hate you when you cancel something and sometimes have to make one decision impulsively quick. I can kinda relate lmao ����

⇱ Aquarius- they are often loners they spend time by themselves because they think it's easy. They like having their own freedom and hate when people try to take it from them.

♡ Venus or Mars in Leo- want the energy of

being in the spotlight and being seen for who they are, but in a nice way, not a negative way

✩ Your moon sign- is your safe place how you

emotionally comfort yourself. Mine is in Gemini so communication and talking basically comforts me talking when I'm upset even helps me to feel safe with air moon needs mental stimulation. Someone with a fire moon needs space. Someone with a water moon needs emotional support.

Venus is feminine energy and Mars is masculine energy (when you look at the sign of female, which is shaped f it represents the female, femininity, beauty, and love and when you I Mars it represents the beauty of a man, masculinity and power.

⇱ Gemini placements can be journalist. (I have Gemini placement and I love learning about new things in a blog.)

⇱ Taurus Venus- have good manners and (I could picture these placements as kids and listening well behaved to their parents)

⇱ Leo suns- like revealing clothes, booty shorts, camis ,bralettes and crops

⇱ Virgo suns- have tiny messes but not a lot of mess they'll be not okay with their room looking like a tornado

⇱ Libra suns/ placements like piercings ( don't matter where) ex -( I have a Libra moon friend that loves piercings and has a septum and body and lip piercings

⇱ Gemini suns-love hands they like the feeling of holding hands.

⇱ Scorpio suns - basically like Virgo ( they observe) but actually arent that mysterious ( they really arent the mysterious type )

⇱ Capricorn suns- kind of shy, dont show their personality fully until they are comfortable

⇱ Aquarius suns- will ask you anything out of the blue if it's something they learned.

ꨄ Pisces suns/ placements- will go above and beyond (the can be extreme) when pushed to that point ( oof I’m scared 😭)

[illnessfaker]

tw: black+trans death

from the_yvesdropper on instagram:

our beautiful black trans brother, 35 year old Righteous Torrence "Chevy" Hill, was murdered in Atlanta, GA this weekend.

he went by his nickname 'Chevy' he was originally from Macon, GA. he owned Evollusion, which is a black/ queer owned LGBTQ+ salon in Atlanta that provided and dedicated full service to specializing in hair, nails, barbering and makeup. growing up as young black queer boys/kids, the barbershop experience can sometimes be a tricky space to occupy, this was something that Chevy understood and wanted to cultivate a space of safety where you can also get the affirming look and style you want, and he did exactly that.

Chevy was a beloved son, brother, partner, and father.

one of his last posts that had a photo of himself said :

"if you truly know me, you know i am a humble, modest, private man, that i love my community, i have the love of God in me and will give the shirt off my back to any soul in need, also i never post pictures of myself, legaey give myself credit, that stops today, i am my legacy!"

(a close friend of Chevy asked if i could share more then one photo of Chevy, since he never posted photos of himself and in recent years he got the confidence to want to share more photos and now he won't get the chance to)

Chevy, hey king, hey brother, hey angel, thank you for everything, i lové you, we lové you, i'm so sorry. there are a lot of photographers in heaven who will be able to photograph you as the glorious black trans angel that you are.

there will be a homegoing service/memorial for our brother

there aren't many details about what happened but apparently he was shot by a family member last wednesday, the 28th (at least this article was the one linked in relation to his murder.)

judging by both the IG post and the comments section he was well-loved by many people and those people have many good memories with him and nothing but good things to say. this is a comment that was left by tirajmeansgolden which was hidden by IG for some reason:

I started testosterone in February 2020. I hit this man up at the end of 2019 after numerous Google searches for an LGBT-friendly barber near me (and by near me... he was a good 35-40 minutes from the rural area I was in outside of Atlanta: but when I found out he was a trans man and that his business was the first and only LGBT hair bar, I knew it would be worth the trip). I was a dysphoric mess in his DMs one Sunday. I hated how my hair was growing out. I never had a "masculine" hairstyle before but decided one day I would buzz it all off myself, then allowed it to grow out a bit... I sent him a video and despite him being closed on Sunday, he told me to come through. I got my hair braided and he gave me my first really masculine fade. Explained the different terms. Lined me up. Was asking me about my decision to transition and provided some helpful advice + guidance. I told him how I was a therapist and he was hype and said he talked with a group of trans men and he would love for me to stop by and also give some mental health tips. So whoever said he was humble - wow, what an understatement. Such a community man! Made me feel SO comfortable because barbershops were a source of major trauma and triggers for me. They were such an integral part of my early transition (I just celebrated 4 years later week). And he was such an integral part of the Atlanta Queer community with hosting events like Queer Con. How I found so many other great resources + queer businesses/artists. May you rest in peace, Chevy. You'll be missed. You've made such a different in the lives of countless people. You definitely were living your Purpose + left a legacy behind ...

[isaacthedruid]

(spoilers for the Barbie movie)

As a trans-masc non-binary person, I saw myself in Allan. I’m a boy but not a Ken, I'm Ken-like but not quite.

Allan’s role of being awkward, unsure and a little out of his element but still trying to help the Barbies through the chaos and events caused by the Kens, is how I feel as a trans-masc person who is still trying to advocate for women and discuss the issues they face.

I don't identify as a woman anymore but I still grew up as a girl, I lived as a young woman for 14 years, and people continue to be misogynistic towards me when they think I am one-- customers will talk to my male coworkers instead of me, when I’m the person with the answers

I wasn’t expecting to see myself, in terms of gender, in the character often described as Ken’s boyfriend, though it is said in a more playful, joking way rather than any attempt at representation. I’m gay and this version of Allan is definitely queer as well. Yet, that’s a separate story which has already been written, here’s an excellent article about that. [LINK]

Allan isn’t Ken, and he isn’t Barbie either. Allan is simply Allan, an idea with both masc and femme traits. He doesn’t fit into anything specific, he just is. Allan can wear Ken’s clothes but also Barbie’s pink jumpsuit-- but when he's not doing that undercover mission with the Barbies, we only ever see him wearing his own clothes. A set of clothes worn only by him, that iconic striped outfit that is signature to the real Allan doll.

Additionally, notice the horse patch on the front of his shirt, he never changed his clothes unlike the rest of the Kens when they discovered the patriarchy and a new version of masculinity, a toxic and destructive one. Allan only added something to his clothes to “fit in” or act as if he did, but he hated what the Kens did to Barbieland. He also wasn't brainwashed and never acted upon those destructive abilities that were laid out for him. He could've just joined the Kens and broke stuff and drank copious amounts of "brewskis" but he didn't.

Allan is different and it's constantly stated, "there's only one Allan" in this world of Kens (and Barbies).

I will never be Ken nor will I ever be a Barbie again, I’m not happy in either. I’ve tried both, neither is my style (or title). I wear Ken’s clothes as well as Barbie’s, and sometimes I wear Allan’s.

But, I like Allan’s clothes best, they fit me well.

[i-have-rabies-dw]

This is what the executive order banning all gender affirming care for those under 19 is called. Oh these fucks. They hope for the deaths of so many Americans, rub their tiny little hands together praying for a bunch of trans teenagers grow so disgusted with themselves and so caged by their bodies they fucking kill themselves. I cannot describe my anger. It doesn't matter if I expected it.

Rant below

It does matter, to me, that was how long I was forced to wait in my red area, though I can't describe the depths of hell I went through, I could not describe the levels of dehumanization, to feel like a stray dog beneath every one of your peers and family members, desperate for love and acceptance by just one person to find the only way would be a noose. I could tell you how much it causes you to disconnect yourself, to view yourself as something other than human, to view human's as a violent hateful creature, breeding, spreading, and trading violence like a disease. How it would be utterly repulsive to be like them. So narrow minded, so unwilling to accept someone for such minor differences.

I didn't know what transgender meant or was until 8th grade. In 4th, I got access to the Internet for the first time, with it, I made my first representation of myself no one in my physical life could interfere with. I forget the name I went by, but I was thought to be a boy by everyone online who spoke to me. I kept it that way, even once they got to know me, it was right. In my younger years, I had no friends, never did I have a kindergarten or elementary best friend, I didn't know it was normal to sit with a group of friends until I read Harry Potter in middle school. Ha, and never did I ever have that group of friends to sit with. I was a loner to the most extreme example of that term, none of it was by choice. I even dropped out of high school and graduated in an alternative way because I couldn't stand being friend to no one, enemy to more than necessary for never speaking. Before that, at during lunch and "recess," I sat between the wall to the staff bathroom and a large paper rack that sat in the hallway, I did this until I aged out of that building. With dropping out, I did it immediately after coming out as trans and finding that suddenly, all my peers felt more justified taking licks at me. No one person respected it at the time, and I got kicked already for coming out as trans months prior and a bunch of drama because of that (mistake #1 never come out to your family first). I was an optimistic child. I was an extroverted child, excited and enthusiastic about the world. I was kind to all. Then I met the world and saw no one like me in it.

Also, another thing, a lot of transfems and transmascs have fatal rates of anorexia or restrictive eating(asides the inherent body issues that come with it), both in attempts to pass as their gender and, my speculation and projection, self punishment. I was well below 100 pounds for years, and I'm a tall guy.

I laugh in the face of transphobes, I don't think they could survive.

My AM like monolog/vent overrrits.

Almost

Sometimes I wonder, if when I first came if I had acceptance, what would have been different with acceptance from even some of the family? The reason I came out to my family is I needed to socially transition with family and peers IRL before the doctors wanted discuss it further with me as a minor, they still didn't allow me when I was 18 and out for years so it was more than that but alas. If I didn't get kicked out, I wonder what it would have been like to start transitioning younger, to switch to a different school and have a chance at a second life not so jaded, with "my"/a family. I'm still alone, I think I might always be, I'm starting to be okay with that.

Oh, also for everyone thinking blue states are institutionally good and positive places for queers to live, welcome to rural Washington, where the concept of a butch- or even masculine women would be enough to make heads explode, least where I'm from they may as well as be Idaho legislators in terms of values.

[prettyboypistol]

TF2 Mercs x M!Reader || How the Mercs Jerk Off +18

minors dni and get blocked

ambiguous genitals for Pyro

Scout

The stereotypical setup of "makes a night of it" sometimes only to end up frantically fucking his fist 10 minutes later as he gasps out your name breathlessly.

Most of the time though his man is a horny mess. Sneaks off to jack off frequently (like 2/month).

Has jerked off in the showers before but prefers his bedroom to relieve himself.

HUUUGE on fantasies. Always talking to himself and imagining you in various ways. His favorite is imagining you blowing him.

Usually lasts a short amount of time, but can recover extremely quickly.

Pyro

Oh. My. God. This is the HORNIEST mf alive when they're lucid. Yeah, they're a little awkward about how close they get to you, but everyone shrugs it off as them being socially unaware.

You smell so amazing to them, the smell of you looks so pretty to them in their head because of their synesthesia. Has embarrassingly gotten off to the colors and feeling of your voice and smell.

Your voice is a calming purple to them with a gentle rumbling against the bottom of their mind, the sound feels a sort of comfortable chilling ironically.

They refuse to do anything outside of their safe space- hell, considering that nobody even knows if Pyro needs to jerk off-

It HAS to be: right vibes, 3 am, locked door, calming smell candles, windows shut, etc etc

Soldier

Has a love/hate relationship with jerking off, he sees it as manly and masculine to release urges, but also weak to indulge himself in base desires.

A manly man thinking of another manly man like yourself? Well technically that's twice the amount of men. At first he assumed he was jealous of your physique, but then he drempt of you on top of him right about to push your-BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEEEEEP 0600 SOLDIER TIME TO WORK

Awkward boners are his specialty, excusing himself to "go oversee the maggots" when you flex a particularily nice deadlift.

Less private than Pyro but still prefers a more private setting like in the woods, a bathroom stall, or just a spot he deemed far away enough from everyone else.

Most embarrassed about wet dreams where he can actually get off in his dreams, deeming that day "surprise laundry inspection/washing day"

Demo

He's pretty lax about jerking off to be honest, has probably drunkenly teased you about you should be careful about how often you keep your shirt off.

"Ey laddie, careful showin' those pecs around! Cannae imagine you'd like a man eyein' those tits of yours!" Of course it was a joke, you two were close like that. of course he was just teasing you.

Oh god he wanted to fuck your pecs. Unabashedly staring at your chest he imagined how nice his dick would look in-between your pecs, maybe scrunched against a tight wifebeater too oh fuck-

Reletively respectful of everyone's decentcy and only relieves himself either in his room or in the empty showers at 4 in the morning. He's probably only been caught once but never agains after that.

Cums a lot, that's why he prefers the shower wanks to quickly wash away the evidence.

Engie

This man is so fucking ashamed of touching himself to thoughts of you- much like he would be about thinking of anyone. He's got such a huge shame surrounding the whole thing but the evil voice in his head only made him strangely harder.

He imagined you wakling in on him as he whispered out your name and you shaming him as you slide up behind him as your hand wraps around his jerking him off all while telling him just how much of a pervert he is.

This man has the biggest undiscovered humiliation kink god it's so fucking pathetic (i deeply desire him)

Has jerked off in his workshop multiple times with the door deadbolted shut and a drill running to hide what he's doing.

Honestly prefers the feel of vaseline/nonsexy lube on his dick and it's a lot less suspicious to have that around.

Heavy

Doesn't often feel the need due to how high alert he is.

When Heavy is at ease he's more bearlike and chill rather than a hotblooded, horny-brained mess. When he does actually touch himself, he is extremely quiet in his bedroom and quick about the whole ordeal.

Has a nasty "habit" of thinking of you. He assumes it's because you're actually nice to him and he's not been around a woman in god knows how long. You're not womanly-like in the slightest but Heavy likes to think about his hands on your hips as he makes you whine.

Feels a stinging sense of guilt afterwards but generally shrugs the feeling off. It's not really such a bad thing if he keeps it to himself and keeps everything professional, right?

Sniper

I wrote a fic about how I generally feel Sniper jerks it here but I'll rephrase it here as a TLDR

This man is really fucking weird about jerking off to you. He HAS stolen something of yours to smell and fantasize with and if given the chance he WILL steal again.

HUGE scent kink and voyeur/creeping kink kind of like Engie in a way where he wants you to call him out on his bullshit.

Probably the most unprofessional about it. He has fondled himself as he watched you through his scope during battle and he will do it again.

Pretty quick ordeal overall to keep himself sane. He jacks off often and quickly to keep a baseline sense of sanity (pre-nut insanity is a thing and his diagnosis is terminal RIP)

Medic

Honestly I headcanon Medic not feeling a need to masturbate. His lust for you oozes out in his operations in some sort of gorey satisfaction in operations on the team. (think like, the taboo passion of physically rearranging someone's guts gets him off in a weird way.)

This isn't to say he gets sexually aroused by his experiments, it's just that the excitement of the thrills get cross-wired in his brain. When you drop your shirt on the floor to prep for an operation his dick twitches in his pants but that's literally it.

Flirts with you on the operating table <3

The only time he's actually masturbated is for experiements. (One was if he could create life without an egg and the second was to see how much cum could a healthy man extract out of him.)

Spy

This man is so hoity-toity about getting off it's almost a pain to write. It's an actual whole night for him. It starts with a nice bath with oils more expensive than your paycheck, then a professional massage, then a calming cigarette mixed with some top-grade cannabis in either a blunt or in a nice dessert. THEN FINALLY he lays himself down onto his pretty little bed and fucks himself.

And even then Spy has a routine to jerking off to really indulge himself. He starts slow and gentle with teasing touches that go lower and lower until he's strained against the fluffy bathrobe he is cuddled in.

Imagines you riding him a lot, but if he's in the mood to bottom, he slowly fucks himself with a pretty nice vibrator as he imagines you fucking him as your dick brushed against his prostate in the most delicious of ways.

This man is convinced that every other merc assumed that he gets too many bitches to need to masturbate and he fully intends to keep that assumption alive and well.

[loozerboykisser]

pjo characters as weird and dumb things me and my friends have said

Percy: what the fuck is cockblocking like I can't block ur cock on Snapchat

-

Will: UUUUUUUGH MY ASS HURTS- ooh look a butterfly

-

Leo: I CANT FIND MY PRETTY STICKER- AW FUCK- SHIT- MY VAGINA- OOAOoOoOOooAHAHHAgh

-

Jason: I can't actually believe I just agreed with you but hey here we are

-

Reyna: why the fuck am I friends with any of you hoes

-

Piper: should I...? too late I did it

-

Will: the best way to rizz someone up is by rizzing them up *turns to friend, winks horribly* hey baby girl

-

Rachel: one sec getting my anger out *aggressively splatters paint on canvas*

-

Annabeth: sometimes I'm smart. When I'm smart, I'm smart. *awkward thumbs up and grimace*

-

Octavian: fuck the gays they should all die ... I mean I could fuck some gays

-

Hazel: I'll make you tea but not in a sweet way I'll make it so hot in burns your tongue and you can't speak for a week

-

Frank: hey guys check me out I'm a furry on drugs *WOOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF*

-

Grover: I love plants :3 specifically magic mushrooms but like

-

Leo: I mean I would totally fuck you but like respect man

-

Will: Ugh fuck my life I hate everything *coldplay starts playing* I retract the previous statement I fucking love life

-

Jason: UGH UR ALL SO DUMB but I'm in

-

Nico: if u wanna kys clap ur hands *rapidly claps hands*

-

Piper: *hypnotizes u with my beautiful blue orbs* come over to my house

-

Hazel: respectfully hope you die <3

-

Frank: I'm on acid what's it called when a ton of cats jump on each other a dog pile or a cat pile

-

Reyna: OH THANK GOD- sike I don't believe in that motherfucker hahahha

-

Annabeth: I'm so smart *holds up the one good test I got in school* see the teacher even gave me an 11/10 because I wrote my name in a cool font

-

Leo: UUUUUGGGGGHHHH IM SO HORNY- *mom walks in* oh hi mom how are you

-

Will: we can just... fuck. as friends though no homo.

-

Rachel: IF I DON'T DRAW SOMETHING IN THE NEXT FEW MINUTES I AM GOING TO MAUL SOMEONE

-

Octavian: you all suck and I hate you *silence* no wait come back

-

Someone: haha ur gay

Nico: yeah??? and ur not?? like don't knock it until you try it dick is yummy man

-

Hazel: someone just told me what smearing is and honestly I kinda wanna die *fix you by coldplay starts playing* LMAO WTF

-

Frank: you sad ass emo dog just be happy

-

Percy: I Am OnE wiTh ThE oCeAn AnD HopEfuLLy aLL oF ThE hOt MerPeOpLe In iT

-

Leo: *talking to literally nobody* hey guys!! gonna go get my top surgery! *shows up at claires*

-

Reyna: I only wanna die sometimes and that's normal right

RIGHT

-

Will: *playing guitar* haha look guys I'm fingering A minor *strums violently*

-

Jason: screw men *eyes widen* I should start taking my own advice ngl

-

Will: *listening to a playlist that Nico made him* ugh my emo ass boyfriend and his stupid music I hate him *proceeds to write his name over and over again in diary with hearts around it*

-

Nico: what if I strangle someone with a pair of earbuds

Will: please don't

-

Leo: *in demonic voice* LeAf *eats it*

-

Nico: *pulls gay flag out of pocket* omg it's u

Will: *shuffles around in pocket, finds condom* ... it's u, vanilla flavoured

-

Leo: my name's Leo

Percy: and I like jugs

Nico: I'm mentally ill

Leo: and I'm on drugs :D

-

Jason: is there anything better than pussy

Piper: I thought you where gay

Jason:

Jason: my boyfriend's trans?

-

Will: the temptation to fuck an emo boy rn is killing me

-

Leo: the masculine urge to

Leo:

Leo: I forgor

-

Will: that's good!

Nico: like me in bed

*silence*

-

Leo: smash or pass Ryan Gosling

Nico: SMASH

Will: PASS

Solangelo: *glares at each other*

-

Nico: omg stop with that song

Will: but

Will: but you can take me hot to go :(

-

Annabeth: yeah

Percy: yeah

Annabeth: *in funny voice* yeah

Percy *hentai moan* yEEEAAAaaH

-

Leo: *pointing at Nico* EEEEEEWWWW AN EMOOOOOO EWWW

-

Jason: never ever look up what an eyesha erotica lyric means

Reyna:

Reyna: oh you poor soul *pats back*

-

Nico: I can't breathe

Will: just

Will: breathe air

Nico: I breathe drugs

-

Piper: I'm gonna go play basketball

Leo: haha play with my balls

Jason: already do

Leo: *chokes on air*

well that's all sorry for the torture, thanks to @localcosplaymushroom, @crowwolf8, @justagremlinoncaffeine, and @secret-mewtwo for all of the funny convos that went into this

[creatingblackcharacters]

100% real genuine question:

Should relationships be different in fiction with Black characters? I have always heard to treat characters as people first and then whatever (race, sexuality, gender, disability, etc etc) second.

But reading that post about antiblackness in fandom one of the quotes said that the relationships were written as if they were white, which confused me.

Is it just saying that there were some moments that seemed inaccurate or racist because one of the characters was Black (like running fingers through hair, to name a minor one) or is there more?

Is it about how it reads to us because of the racist history irl?

I have several original stories containing Black characters and I've always tried to go out of my way to make them feel fully fleshed out and if I'm even slightly worried about one character feeling stereotypical, I try to fix it (and sometimes just add more characters that defy that stereotype. Like, one of my characters is a Black woman and as I developed her I decided she was a lesbian and leaned butch. After that I added feminine Black women, including lesbians, as well as nonBlack butches because I know the masculinization of Black people is a huge issue. Even though, this character is literally the only "masculine" Black woman, but not the first Black woman, I had written at the time, lol. )

I am probably overthinking and overexplaining. But now I am rethinking all of the relationships I have in my stories with Black characters in them. Diversity is really important to me and I hate to imagine myself contributing to racist views of Black characters...

(forgive me if I come across as a Whining White Woman™ I'm autistic so I genuinely want to know if I'm doing it wrong)

Well, if you haven't read my syllabus, I would highly suggest doing so! Because I could not possibly tell you everything you've potentially done based off of this ask 😅 but you might find some things that will help you narrow your scope in your own stories, and better your writing for the future.

When we say things like "they were written like a white person", it usually means that it's clear within the story that the character's Blackness, and therefore how they and their actions would be perceived both within and outside of the story, were not considered by the author. It's clear that the character was written to be white- which is what most people consider as the default- and then just made "Black" to fill in a box. I can tell when a character's Blackness matters to their identity, versus when I'm just reading a story with someone's blorbo with a bucket of brown paint.

Do you have Black readers? Black peers? Have you ever had any feedback about those characters- do you think perhaps asking a Black beta reader or sensitivity reader might assuage your concerns? You could always put up your fics on your page and ask directly! Be open to that feedback, though.

[cowboyjen68]

Hi!!

I just wanted to ask some advice from one butch to another.

I recently got my dream job of being a warden on a nature reserve (and i love it!), while interacting with people there I get called a young man very often (i am 18 lol) and it gives me euphoria to know im masculine enough to even pass as a man. I've also had some volunteers ask if I was a man or not (despite my feminine name).

But recently I got called a "lady" outside while out with my mother. It drove me INSANE I cried alot.

Don't get me wrong I do identify as a woman but I hate being seen as a lady.

I've even thought about using he/him pronouns recently and changing my name but i'm too scared to as most people won't understand bc im still a lesbian.

Is this strange?

ps love u and ur blog lots xx

This is an easy answer because I was 18 once and looked enough like a teenage boy that I got "hey sport" and "hey young man" all the time, especially when in my work clothes. I worked for The Mayor's Youth Corp in Iowa City in the summers of my 15th and 16th year. Mom and Dad let me get a work permit AND bought me a used Datsun Pickup so I could drive myself the 20 miles there and back each day.

I was a volunteer with the Corp of Engineers youth from 14 to 16 and Dad knew I was super excited about this job. Mom was not thrilled that I wanted to cut my hair but my "grand mullet" was really hot under the hard hat in the summer heat of Iowa. (in the 1980's boys and girls had the short in front long and permed in back look) We compromised and I cut the sides really short. (photo of my me at 16 in my uniform for reference)

Using "he" would never have occurred to me because "EWWW Boys". This is not to say, however, that I hated being mistaken for a boy, on the contrary, it felt good. When someone thought I was a young man it meant they treated me as such. They didn't talk down to me, I knew they assumed I was capable and willing to get dirty. I knew unconsiously that along with the mistaken identity came many perks. This was nothing I analyzed but little girls see very early on the difference in treatment they recieve from their brothers, male cousins and neighborhood boys. This difference leads us to become negotiators to control our circumstances and not entittled to treatment based on our skills and actual personalies.

When an adult recognized me as a boy, even for a second at first glance, I knew I didn't have to prove myself. They, for an instant, assigned to me words like "strong, capable, demanding etc". No negotations required.

When someone realized I was a girl they literally had a change in their face. They smiled at me, softened their voice. When I was called "young lady" or "Miss" it always seemed to be backed my the worst assumptions (in my mind anyway). Lady is steeped in all kinds of traits I didnt want assigned to me. "quiet, weak, likes to dress pretty"OR "motherly, submissive, meek" Nothing good in my teen brain, that is for sure. Lady felt so OLD, so married to a man and reliant on him for survival, so polyster pants and ugly flats and scratchy blouses with a flower imprint. NONE of these things are inherent to being a woman or even socially forced on us but that is not how things work sometimes. Words that describe people get stereotypes and myths and traits attached to them all the time. Woman and girl are no different.

I can tell you, the best feeling in the world when I was in that job was when my supervisor, who damn well knew I was a young woman, trusted me with all the same tasks as the boys. Who valued my opinions and abilities equally to the young men. He took time to teach me what I didn't know, just like with them and didn't assume I couldn't or didn't want to learn things on the job. He didn't shame ANYONE for not being strong enough or for getting tired or needing a break.

Don't let the assumptions of others force you into another box of conformity. You don't need a boys name or to use any pronouns you don't feel connected to just to please others. In fact, none of that effort will change perceptions of those around you. I can promise that one day being called Lady will just be another word that you can hear and know it does not change your personality or your interests or control the hope you have for your future. What does waste a lot of time and energy is trying to adjust things in your life to fit incorrect or snap assumptions about you as a person. You can never control the thoughts of those around you but what you can do is stop worrying about it and enjoy YOU.

You have a job you love and are sure to thrive in. You are solid in your sexuality and love of women, you are in a unique position to possibly change the perceptions of others when they think of "young women". Your interactions with the public are sure to effect the assumpions of at least some people when they think of young women and their roles in our society.

Congratulations on your new career and I bet you rock that uniform.

[nayatarot777]

What Blessings Are Coming To You Within The Next 3 Months? {Patreon Exclusive}

• Pile One •

Hi Pile One, welcome to your reading!

The first blessing that I’m seeing is that your intuition is going to be almost tethered to you. You might feel like your intuition comes and goes - or at least your ability to connect to your intuition, since your intuition is always there - but sometimes you might feel like you are being blocked from tapping in to it. However, one of your blessings over the next three months is that you are going to experience your ability to tap into your intuition in a very consistent way. Your intuition is almost going to feel bound to you. Like you can’t get rid of it. Like it can’t go anywhere. Like you can’t be blocked from tapping into it anymore. And this is going to give you the opportunity to use your intuition to protect - not only yourself - but also other people. I’m seeing your intuition even scaring off energies in the spiritual realm as well as energies within other people who don’t have your best interest in mind. I’m seeing that the people who this scares off may be frightened by how it seems like you’ve all of a sudden been able to see through them by this point. For others of you, I’m seeing that you may be meeting new people who your intuition warns you against. The strength of your intuition and how they feel you’re able to see who they truly are and their true intentions will scare them off, because it seems to them like the secrets and the things that they would much rather hide are clearly being perceived by you.

Your next blessing is that whoever has been persecuting you, vilifying you, and sending a bunch of hating energy your way is going to experience a complete reversal in the direction of their negative energy. Whoever has been sending this persecution your way is going to be experiencing it for themselves. You may have done a return to sender for the witches out there or the magicians or the people who have discovered the ability to manipulate energy. Whichever way you do your return to senders, it is going to work and it is going to hit this person intensely. All these people. As I’m even seeing a group. It’s almost like they wanted to burn you at the stake (figuratively speaking), but there’s going to be a complete transformation in the direction of the energy. Whatever energy they’re sending your way is going to come back onto them. This is even hitting the bystanders. The people who have enabled this person or group who have been vilifying you. The same people who stood by and just watched and didn’t say anything and didn’t step in. It’s going to hit them too.

Another blessing is that you are going to experience some type of virility. A viral moment that you have manifested because you stepped into the magician energy and understood that you had all of the tools to create and manifest whatever it is that you wanted to. You’ve been using your resources around you to create a stable foundation. You’ve been using your natural skills and abilities and for this, you are going to experience huge popularity. Maybe even fame. This fame could be related to messages that you give out or advice or counselling. Or the way that you empower people in someway. I am even seeing that you may be given the opportunity to sign a contract. Or this is you being in the position to give other people contracts in order to work for you. If you’re the one being given a contract, this is being given by someone who has a lot of leadership energy. A lot of masculine energy. They have a lot of abundance and it’s almost like they own their own kingdom figuratively and they see your potential. They see your skill. They see the magic in what you create or what you do and they wanna add you into their empire. This person could come across as quite intimidating in a way. There is a lot of Aries energy that this person has. This definitely could be a masculine. There’s also something about tapping into your intuition with this person because working for them will require you to give something of yourself. To sacrifice something of yourself and I don’t feel like this is a negative energy because this is about your blessings - however, just make sure that you know exactly what you’re getting into so that you can be prepared for whatever the work is that you’d need to do for this person.

Patreon

YouTube

• Pile Two •

Hi Pile Two, welcome to your reading.

The first blessing that I’m seeing for you guys is protection around your financial stability. Protection around your career, your job, your business, and maybe even your family since the 10 of Pentacles is out here. If you are worried about an elderly person - specifically an elderly woman - then she is also protected in terms of her health. Her health will be stable. This could also be protection around an inheritance from an elderly person or an elderly woman. So if you are worrying about an inheritance possibly being taken from you unfairly, then don’t worry. That inheritance or windfall of money will be yours and it will give you a lot of financial stability and blessings. Your finances are growing quite quickly. I’m seeing multiple streams of income, and together, they will create a very stable income for you. I’m also seeing a scenario for someone in which an elderly woman is trying to deceive or lie or take from your family for financial reasons and you are protected from this elderly woman. She has quite a cold and callous energy. She may even come across as evil within her mindset and the things that she is willing to do, but you don’t need to worry because you and your family and your families’ assets and money are protected from her.

The next blessing is an amplification in true, genuine love between you and another person. For most of you, I am seeing a romantic relationship but this could definitely be a best friend or someone who is just very close to you. It could even be a family member, but the communication of love between you and this other person is definitely going to increase. And again, I’m seeing your connection with this person being very protected. The protection around this connection with this person is actually getting stronger. You are vibrating alongside this person at a very high frequency. You are both individuals who have high frequency within your energetic field. Both of you can tap into pure, genuine love for yourselves as well as each other, so lower frequencies and lower vibrations really can’t affect you and your connection with this person. If this amplification of love isn’t with another person, then I’m also seeing that this is just an amplification of love towards yourself regarding the way that you talk to yourself. As well as how you talk about yourself to other people, and even the way that you think about yourself. There is more alignment within yourself over these next three months because of the fact that you have increased your self love. You are treating yourself and feeling about yourself the same way that you would a partner who you love, so just take which message resonates - whether this love is about you and the connection to yourself or you and another person.

Another one of your blessings is a secret, and I feel like this isn’t necessarily a secret to you, but it is a secret that you will be holding. In terms of you working and collaborating on a project with other people. If this is a secret to you, then I’m seeing that there are people collaborating behind-the-scenes, and again, these people are collaborating as a way of protecting you. You might not even realise this consciously, but for some of you, there may be people who are working together to protect you from someone or something. The blessing is that you are going to be able to collaborate with people who are a very protective group of people. You could even be in some type of hidden or secret group and I feel like you’re going to learn a lot from this group of people. I’m seeing a lot of studying. A lot of taking notes. Whether this is literally or mentally. This group is going to be teaching you a lot of practical advice. They could be giving you valuable information on how to structure something for the sake of your financial or practical stability. This could have something to do with metaphysics and manifestation, but I’m definitely seeing that your blessing is learning from a feminine energy who has a lot of knowledge alongside other people. And all of you will be learning very valuable information on how to reprogram your mind or your life. I’m seeing a bunch of code - programming code - in my mind, so I feel like this is the energy of learning how to manipulate energy. How to see through what most people would call “the matrix” or the illusions and how to reprogram the matrix for the sake of your own benefit, stability, and comfortability. This is hidden knowledge that you guys are learning and this is a big blessing, so please value it and make sure to take notes and study what you need to in order to put this into practice.

Patreon

YouTube

• Pile Three •

Hi Pile Three! Welcome to your reading about your blessings over the next three months.

So the first thing that I’m seeing is that any blockages that have prevented you from showing up as your authentic self and expressing your authentic identity is being removed. I’m seeing that you’ve had a history of being attacked by other people for your authentic nature. However, part of this blessing is realising that there is a lot of knowledge to be acquired about yourself through your authenticity. I’m also seeing that you could be connecting with a group of people. I’m hearing up to 2 people who are also authentic in their nature and somehow teach you how to step into your authenticity too. Or you may have given up on expressing your authenticity because it seemed to be the root cause of a lot of pain and conflict that you had to experience, however I feel like you are going to be intuitively seeing the value and the worth of your authentic nature. You could also be teaching other people about authenticity. You could be the one helping someone else who has been so beaten down for their true self, and this could be another way that you find value in your authentic energy - by helping others.

Another part of your blessing is also the wisdom that you are gaining. And I feel like this wisdom about yourself is something that you will have to defend, but you are prepared to do so. And I’m seeing two very loyal people again - these could even be spirit guides who are helping you to defend your knowledge about self and your knowledge about authenticity. This blessing contains a lot of self empowerment and standing up for yourself. Defending yourself and having support in the process. Your creativity is also a huge part of your blessings. You’ve been crafting something, and again I’m seeing two energies here in this card about creativity. These two energies are being depicted as the silhouette of two crows, so I feel like these are two spirit guides that are protecting your creations. Perhaps 2 people who have passed over? Your creations are somehow bringing balance and justice into your life, and I’m hearing that you are relaying messages from the divine and channelling what you’re intuitively picking up on within your creative process. Whatever it is that you create, it is something that is futuristic. It’s something that might not be entirely popular now but I am seeing that the energy that you have been putting into this creation is coming back to you in the form of monetary value, mainly. Whatever you’re creating, you are making from the heart. Your heart space is being channelled into this and it makes sense because your intuition is definitely connected to your heart. Again, I’m seeing that what you’re creating is bringing through wisdom to help other people step into their authentic nature, and as a result, your good karma will come your way within the next three months. All of the energy that you are putting into your creations is coming back to you mainly in the form of status or money - or both.

I am also seeing that another blessing could be your leadership when it comes to being the protector of other people. Perhaps up to 2 other people in particular. I feel like you are not just defending yourself. You are also defending other people who have been hurt in the past, as well as teaching them how to value themselves and their authentic selves.

Patreon

YouTube

[caintooth]

From a transmasc who loves transfems more than I hate transmisogyny: If you are AFAB you should not be calling yourself transfem, a transwoman, or a transgirl.

Let me start this by saying that I agree, obviously, that our society needs to stop caring about AGAB. Ideally, we should not be assigned AFAB or AMAB to begin with, and we should all be able to use the language we feel suits us best. If you are both trans and a woman, it does seem like it makes sense to call yourself a transwoman, doesn’t it? Even if you were AFAB?

But let’s have nuance, please. Let’s start by acknowledging this: a world in which our AGABs have no impact on our social roles / perceptions / interactions is NOT a world we live in yet. No matter how badly we may want to simply be feminine and masculine and androgynous and outside of connection to a binary system and AGABs entirely, we have NOT achieved that sort of liberation. To pretend we have- to act as if your AGAB has no impact on the way you are perceived and treated- is an extremely privileged game of imagination.

The most common argument I have seen from AFABs using transfem / transwoman language for themselves is that they are someone who is both, by all definitions, transgender and a woman. This may be because they previously transitioned into manhood or transmasculinity, and did not identify as a woman or as feminine at all during that time, but now, for whatever reason, have started identifying as a woman / feminine again. Or they may be a person who identifies with any variation of non-binary woman, bigender, genderfluid, genderqueer, demigirl, etc. Any identity which is either “I used to not be a woman, but am a woman now,” or “I am a woman, and another gender or lack thereof, too.”

I understand. In whatever version of this scenario, they are both transgender or have transitioned at some point, and are currently feminine or a woman. It does really sound like transfem or transwoman should be the correct language to use in this scenario!

I am non-binary, transmasc, and was indeed AFAB. I get it. I am transgender. I am not a woman, but I am also, sometimes, a woman. I am transgender and I am a woman. And I spent years of my life fighting against femininity, only to find that finally being allowed to be openly masculine has helped me embrace femininity again. It seems this is not an uncommon experience. But I am not now, and never will be, a transwoman.

Because the word transwoman has very, very specific meaning. “Meanings can change,” and “words have more than one meaning,” you say? Yes, that is true! And it should be! Change and embracing of nuance is so important to our community. And nobody should be policing the language anybody else uses.

But that being said, please. Embrace this nuance, if you are so passionate about words having it. People who were AMAB and are women have extremely different experiences than people who were AFAB and are still / are again, in whatever form for whatever reason, women or feminine.

Being a woman who was AMAB has unique culture, intersectionality, and vulnerability. Countless transwomen have asked people who were AFAB not to use the language of actual transfemininity, because it is such a different experience than being trans and feminine separately. Let me make this clear.

People who were AFAB are expected to be and rewarded for being women. If we perform womanhood in an unpalatable way, yes, we do experience misogyny. If we are also transgender, yes, we do experience transphobia. But neither of these things, even when experienced at the same time, are the same as transmisogyny, which can only be experienced by people who were AMAB.

This is because of the patriarchy. Gender Issues 101. Manhood and masculinity are seen as the ultimate power. Womanhood and femininity, as less. So, yeah, I get your confusion here. People who were AFAB, especially if they are also trans or are women or feminine in the “wrong” way, will indeed always be seen as lesser than men, for the fact of being AFAB alone! Absolutely nobody is saying that misogyny and transphobia against AFAB people are not massively violent forces in this world. Nobody is saying people who were AFAB have it “easy!”

But again, again again- people who were AMAB and are women experience a form of violence and hate very different from the kind we as AFAB people do. You know as well as I do that the patriarchy does not view women who were AMAB as actual women. It instead views them as failed men. And to those indoctrinated, that is a crime worse than womanhood. It is the ultimate insult: “They are not women. They are clearly not men, either. They are third. Other.”

AFAB people who are trans or perceived as “failed women,” no matter our actual or internal connection with femininity or womanhood, are viewed by society negatively, yes, but not as third or Other. Because, despite the wording, “failed women” are still actually viewed as women. This is because the patriarchy views people who were AFAB as inherently flawed by mere circumstance of birth. We are inherently capable of failure, because we have already failed by not being born cis men… And cis men, on the other hand, are viewed as ideal, perfect, god-like, and thus not capable of failure at all.

Let me reiterate. Due to transphobia and the rigid structure of gender within the patriarchy, when people who were AMAB declare “I am a not a man,” they are denied the status of woman. But, due to misogyny and the position of men as supreme, flawless beings within the patriarchy, when people who were AMAB respond by saying “I am a woman,” they are also denied the status of man. It is this also which is so significant. They are viewed by the patriarchy as Other in a way that people who were AFAB never will be, because we will always just be viewed as women, which is at least human.

The fact that people who are AFAB will only ever be viewed as woman is a separate issue, with separate conversation around it. Because I understand, as one of them, that we may identify with a concept of thirdness and of Otherness. We, like women who were AMAB, are not men! We feel a kinship there!

But I think I have explained well why our experience of Otherness is not the same as Otherness experienced by transwomen who were AMAB. No matter how deeply we feel third, Other, different, strange, weird? Even if this is, from the depth our soul and core of our being, not how we want to be treated? Society is still willing to view us, at the very least, no matter how much we hate it, as women. Which, like I said, is at least one way to be seen as human.

Women who were AMAB, however, are only ever treated as Other. Not even as human beings. Do you see how this is different? Do you see how this is worse?

The two questions we are trying to answer in this post are, first, why is it wrong that some people who were AFAB want to call themselves trans women or trans feminine? Which leads us to, second, why would they want to in the first place?

Transwomen who were coercively assigned male at birth are, in fact, women. They are not Other. They are not third. They are human beings and the patriarchy is wrong. I know this. The wider queer community claims to know this, too.

But we must not let our desire to affirm transwomen in their womanhood cloud our eyes to the fact that the vast majority of the world still holds extremely violent and dangerous mentality towards them.

When people who were AFAB use the language of transwoman, transfem, and transgirl for themselves, they are equating their experiences to that of AMAB people. They are, in a way, fetishizing transwomanhood. They are saying, “I have seen those called transwomen also called weird, and strange, and third, and Other. I feel that way myself, sometimes. Words like ‘genderqueer’ and ‘genderfluid’ and ‘bigender’ and ‘demigirl’ and etc., though perfectly established and expressive of my gender, do not express to others the quality of inhumanity which I feel I am a victim of. They do not express my uniqueness. But transwomen are seen as inhuman, and unique in their suffering. I am going to associate my feeling of inhumanity with their word, too. I am going to make sure this association continues, so that my pain is acknowledged, too.”

It is a violent co-opting of language. It is self-victimization. It is denial of differing axises of oppression. You are allowed to hurt, to feel Other, and denied of your humanity. But what reason do you have to equate your experience of hurt with a more marginalized group’s oppression, besides selfishness? Especially when you have been asked, repeatedly, to stop.

This behavior creates an unsafe environment for actual transwomen, who deserve community with people who acknowledge the unique experience of transfemininity! Who should be able to comfortably find other actually transfeminine people to make friends with and confide in! Who should be allowed to have their own spaces, communities, and safety nets!

Transfeminine people deserve security. Sorry for the word play, but I literally cannot imagine anything more insecure than stealing language from transwomen.