#something unappreciated
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Underappreciated aspect of Splinter of the Mind’s Eye (by me, I’m the only one appreciating anything about Splinter of the Mind’s Eye in the year of our lord two thousand and twenty and four) is that Luke is unhesitating in stabbing a bitch. Straight up he cuts off multiple limbs and several people in half.
Luke woke up and decided that mercy was for another day and honestly I fucking love when the Jedi are unflinchingly brutal yet perfectly placid in killing.
#the inane ramblings of a madman#star wars#luke skywalker#jedi#splinter of the mind’s eye#something that goes unmentioned#is how cool it is when jedi go ham#and cut through their enemies like a hot knife through butter#something unappreciated#is luke doing this#i love luke being eepy#can you imagine the stormtroopers??#this small boy in muddy mining clothes is tearing through people without any expression#they stormed the cave expecting the fluffy locals#but the unblinking man they can’t manage to hit even when they shoot from behind him???#novels like these are added to my mental#stormtroopers talk about luke like he’s the boogie man#list
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i dont want to say this in a whiney way i mean this in a "trying to find comedy in a bummer situation" way but its kind of funny that from a social media perspective, objectively my sculpts/OOAKs, illustrative art, and plush work is strongly disliked. i have not been able to post any non-cosplay work without losing a good number of followers and they preform very poorly compared to cosplay stuff, like 900 vs 180K poorly. and again i dont want to be caught in social media games and the whole "performance as merit" thing (even though this does kind of bum me out ngl) but.....just from a comedy perspective the thought of someone being like "ug, you made a little guy? disgusting. I hate you. unfollowed." is....kind of bonkers ngl
#i appreciate the interactions they do get and i really REALLY dont want to come off as unappreciative#but this phenomenon is INSANE to witness and have to sit with#and also its like the holes audio of 'im tired of this grandpa' 'thats too damn bad' about people reacting to getting non-cosplay work#like bb girl cosplay is SO so horribly expensive compared to these other crafts#and please dear god in heaven let me do something that is uncoupled to my appearance and still have percived value and worth i beg of thee#so even if people dont want to see my non cosplay work#you gotta
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Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet
Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)
Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked
#these just sum up my personal takes at the years in question and also what i'm seeing on tumblr/other social media#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#and i actually have a lot more thoughts to share on this series#specifically relating to the cultural impact#there is SO much about the show that goes unappreciated in hindsight because of how public perception of it has soured#and i totally fell into this as well--i still regularly rewatch hbomberguy's video absolutely dismantling the series and he isn't wrong!!#but what i'm saying is that i think it's easy for us to look at a piece of media (especially one so massively popular) like sherlock...#with very black-and-white lenses. it wouldn't have become so popular if there wasn't something inherent in it that resonated with people#and that's being buried (and i totally forgot it) because 'sherlock is cringe and problematic. can't believe i liked that'#which again it IS full of issues and those are well-documented as they should be. future portrayals should not repeat those mistakes#BUT being able to impact so many people is a merit in itself. and that's only possible because of other genuinely good things about the show#yes the way they handled the relationship between john and sherlock was riddled with problems YES it was often queerbaiting#AND the way they portrayed that relationship had a deep effect on me. i saw a lot of myself in sherlock and the complex way he loved john#the nuanced feelings he had about john's marriage to mary. the part (in s4!) where john calls him inhuman for not feeling romantic love#there was genuine intention and care put into some parts of this show and it comes through in scenes like those. they impact people.#and because of this realization i'm going to (eventually) do a rewatch of the show. i'm much older and i want to see how i'll view it now#but i want to go into it--and i want everyone who engages with it still--to have an open mind and evaluate it for what it is#not what we expected it to be (secret episode anyone?) or what the cultural drift has turned it into (the tiktok of sherlock's mind palace)#but the messy problematic somewhat-heartfelt massively significant and ultimately meaningful piece of media it actually was#anyway that's my thoughts would love to hear y'all's perspectives#funny how after all this time making a sherlock post still feels like i'm poking a bees' nest lol please be kind!#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags
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just read about the 'Sukuna and Itadori is related' twist, and what kind of gay ass bullshit is this
#ze.txt#sukuita#HELLO?????#also i think it's deeply funny that the fandom's takeaway from this is 'SUKUNA IS YUUJI'S UNCLE!!!!' when that's like#perhaps the most boring and basic takeaway#like i mean. i guess? kinda? technically?#but can we talk about how fate literally bent ass backwards to make these two a perfect fit#can we talk about that instead#i'm sure kenjaku had SOMETHING to do with it but as far as my 'not up to date' ass knows the whole jin thing is happenstance#which is??? insane???#my jaw is on the floor i am blown away i have never seen something so gay go so unappreciated#the fact that they DIDN'T make out sloppy style is a crime gege you gotta deliver on that subtext man
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In the valley of the exodus / In the belly of a bowl of dust / Crows and buzzards flying low / Any way the wind blows...
#em draws stuff#oc time again hehe#the cavern saints#the hearth: isaiah de la croix#time for day 4 of#bweirdOCtober#a guy so unappreciated that jon and I had to rack our brains to come up with a full infographic's worth of info#guy who continues having a job and doing that job while his boyfriend is out getting turned into a metaphor down the mine#surely the binding himself to routine in order to help with the One Million Difficulties is not becoming something he can't stop relying on#surely one more cup of tea never hurt anyone [visibly jittering]#oh yeah. caption lyrics from anais mitchell's 'any way the wind blows'. not the hadestown version altho' that's not Not relevant
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@ bojan cvjetićanin pleeease please please have a sudden new romantics phase and adopt elements of the fashion
#i mostly mean the sleeves#everytime he wears something w slightly puffy sleeves or a bit of ruffles it looks sooo good on him#a waistcoat wouldn’t go unappreciated tho#sorry jure i’m back to bojan posting#bojan cvjetićanin#joker out#i became a highway man a source of pain and tears (the pain being that i want to look like him)
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when people act interested and want to talk to me and they start ignoring me after I send a couple messages 😊
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🖤 (from desmond!!)
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive (when necessary in order to protect her as her sworn sword) / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now (the Pain of being married & being a queen & wanting to be a good role model for your children & ur sworn sword is a kingsguard) / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours; specify. || ALWAYS ACCEPTING.
#answered.#sevynhells#oh g-d what if i kms#dynamic; helaena & desmond.#she's c.aed- & d.emi so like. her falling in love w/ & especially wanting to be sexually intimate w/ sb is. Very hard for her to do#SHES LIKE!!!!! SO CAREFREE YET SO RESTRAINED AROUND HIM. LIKE. THAT MAN IS HER ROCK.#like ...... he & vaenna are the first people she calls for after aegon right after b&c happened#like. she HATES how he blames himself bc literally none of this was ever his fault#like. he left his homeland in dorne in the tor to SERVE AS A KINGSGUARD BUT EVEN MORE THAN THAT TO SERVE /HER/#he devoted himself to her in a way she's never seen w/ her father towards alicent. she NEVER feels unwanted or unappreciated around him EVE#he laughs at her her jokes even when she missed the punchline or gets it wrong. he never makes her feel like a madwoman like so many ppl do#like even if he doesn't understand she never once felt like he was ever judging her. that man will track her down like a BLOODHOUND#like i genuinely believe that helaena prayed CONSTANTLY for someone like him to come around & the gods gave her him#i genuinely wouldnt be surprised bc of how close they are that aegon would've noticed that & been like jealous about it bc he's possessive#but like. she represses these desires bc like. she's MARRIED & she's the QUEEN & she has children she wants to be a good role model for#& not to mention during helaena's entire marriage to aegon she was still loyal to him despite everything bc she wants her children spared#she literally wears gold after sunfyre & has a golden sun wedding ring & so when b&c happens that's just. taken away from her.#& then there's Also her dynamic w/ vaenna her childhood best friend & her whole conflicted sapphic feelings surrounding her#& honestly she feels ashamed for having those desires at all & not to mention he's a kingsguard member so if they did anything he could DIE#& like. she cares about him & i'd say loves him & she doesnt want him to get hurt. so like its. extremely difficult for her#so yeah helaena is. Very Conflicted around him but she genuinely loves & desires that man w/ all her heart.#if anything its probably more likely in a post dance survival au that she'd Say Something About It#but like. there's definitely subtle hints thrown here & there that she tries Not to let show but you can cut thru that tension like a KNIFE#iTS SO HEARTBREAKING MAN
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I'm a little hurt by some of my irl friends and have two courses of actions, but which will both have similar outcomes
Basically, I have three creative irl friends. Every time they share their writings with me (be it fics, poems, stories or creative non fic), I ALWAYS read it as soon as I'm able and give feedback + healthy amount of gushing.
But whenever I write something I am proud of and I share it with them, none of them acknowledge it. Its like they don't see the link you know. And its fine because I just say "I wrote a thing" and give a link. I'm explicitly asking for feedback or validation. I can't be upset because they're not mind readers
But sometimes I explicitly DO ask them "hey did you see what I wrote?" "Hey, what do you think of this?" And i get half assed responses at best. "Oh its good" "uh ill read it when I get home *never hears about it again*". And that's a little more frustrating.
Earlier today I needed to put together a portfolio, and asked my two best friends to please read through it, because it was important and I needed their input on (1) thing, and I needed it *before the end of the day*. It was three pages of easy reading. Its not like I was asking for concrit or editing or something time consuming.
One of them skimmed it and gave me feedback. The other one is adhd and forgot. Said she'd read it later when I reminded her. When I reminded her again, she said she forgot and had made plans, can she do it in the morning?
And normally I'd say that's fine! Because I don't expect immediacy from my friends online, esp for favours. But I had a deadline, and this was the third time this particular friend has done this. There's only so many times I want to poke someone to read my shit before I start feeling like I'm bragging/attention seeker/being entitled and demanding. So I just went and asked someone else.
I know I'm valid to feel hurt about this, and frustrated. I also know that my friends don't mean to make me feel like this, or forget. I know they want to support me. But I'm also tired of getting burned so I'm just going to fucking stop trying to share my writing with them because instead of validation I'm getting pain.
My two options are either a) telling my friends that actually their silence and forgetfulness hurt me or b) just lettint it go
Either way, I'm not reaching out again. B) seems like the option less likely to hurt my friends/make them feel bad, so I'm leaning to that. If the roles were reversed, I'd rather option A), because when people tell me these things I do genuinely try to do better in the future, and I know my friends would feel the same. But I've also lost faith in their ability to do so in this area. Idk what I should do
#vent post#eg the adhd friend mentioned how she felt lonely and abandoned when people were constantly cancelling plans with her#and never trying to make them#so I've been making an effort to MAKE time to go out whenever she invites me#even tho often I'm happy at home (introvert)#anyway this is coincidentally the reason I dont talk about my interests irl#unless it's something ik the other person is also interested in#because im fucking tired of talking to someone who looks like they couldnt care less about what I'm interested in#im just sad and so tired of feeling like I have little to contribute to conversation and the world besides#being kind and helping people and trying my best to listen to them and at the very least engage in THEIR interests when they go on tangents#i dont even know how to infodump about my interests anymore unless its linguistics#gah im feeling sad and unappreciated now god i need to fucking get over myself#i expect too much from people i think. i guess i need to spend more time practicing being my own cheerleader#im also tired of people not realizing im not okay#and not checking up on me#when I am clearly not acting like myself#when i feel like shit and I trust you i wont put effort into pretending into seeming cheerful and happy and okay#esp over text#i dont know. i dont know what I shoule expect. they're not mind readers#if even i cant get things right who am I to expect other people to notice shit
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Truly something special when the burnout and the depression join forces as the adderall wears off.
#personal#mental health#late nyte hospital lyfe#truly stupid that if im crying about work its not because of the horrible things ive seen its because im overworked#and unappreciated#im aware this probably says something about me as a person and i dont care#someone has to work in the ED#anyway! back to being both burdensome and unlovable
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Stargazers' Hill writing while at one of my jobs :)
Clocked in, doing two jobs at once just days before surgery.
#Unlucky and unappreciated but not lazy or unskilled#Anyone who thinks otherwise get off my timeline and take all my problems as your own please and thanks#I love writing but it's impossible to squeeze it in these days except at work#I need a place to live last night after work was so goddamn stressful#If I wanted people yelling over something petty like not finding a lid fast enough I could've stayed with my parents#And at least still had my fucking dog#I miss that goof with all my heart and he'll die before I see him again since he's already 10 and has tons of health issues#Big dogs live short lives to begin with
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i hate when my family has dinner at other peoples places because they almost always make food i just don't like and i feel bad for not eating :')
#i really tried but it's just SO not my thing#and everyone else is talking about how good it is#so it's clearly just me#but this always happensss#i'll just get something when i get home but i don't want to seem unappreciative
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literally how is ray toro so underrated
have you SEEN him
#with your actual eyes#hell even with your ears#ray unappreciators need to get SOMETHING checked because. i swear to god#HAVE YOU SEEN THAT MAN#mcr#my chemical romance#ray toro
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"Do good recklessly" y'all won't even skim the recap of the show your friend's been raving about for weeks or months just so you could do the bare minimum of understanding them & keeping them company. What "good" and what "recklessly" are you even talking about here
#saw that stupid post again & got something to say#bc i always try to do that for people even when it bugs the shit out of me#but my freak goes unmatched unappreciated & unloved every step of the way#i'm not asking for much!! one hour with my bullshit a week just one!!!!!#ugh. yuck#personal
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#being unappreciated has to be one of the worst feelings#contemplating doing something bad#and i feel like i don’t have anyone to talk me out of it#personal#Spotify
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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