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i hav to clock in ten minutes from now :(

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what the world looks like after a big cup of lemonade

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went grocery shopping earlier and encountered a group of 5 or 6 tweenage kids, one of which had a helmet on for some reason, who read my shirt out loud (says "nobody knows I'm a werewolf" on it) and went YOOO ME TOO and high-fived me and then another kid went WELL I'M A FAGGOT and then I went to say "ditto" and give him a thumbs up but I accidentally muscle memory flipped him off and then as we were walking away the same kid (presumably) yelled I LIKE TO FUCK MEN so. overall pretty good interaction I'd say

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I've been doing a lot of thinking about my family and how I was treated as a child, and honestly, my father has never seemed more amazing in my eyes.

I used to love Luigi(Mario's brother) when I was little. Like, he was my favorite character ever, and I had multiple plushies of him. Didn't give a fuck about Mario, vaguely tolerated Peach, but I loved Luigi.

On my first day of kindergarten, my dad gave me the number for his work phone and said it was Luigi's phone number. "If anything happens at school, call Luigi."And not even twenty minutes into my first day, I was having a panic attack. So I went down to the principal's office and called "Luigi."

Now, at the time, my father was in a meeting with his manager and his supervisor, along with most of his coworkers. And when I called, he picked up before he even left the room.

And he put on a very awful Italian accent and said, "Itsa me, Luigi! Whatsa the matter?"In front of his boss and coworkers. Without telling them what was going on. So they were absolutely bewildered, and he carried on like they didn't even exist. He only explained what was happening after I had calmed down and hung up, to which most of them responded with "Aww, cute."

I continued to call him whenever I got upset at school, and eventually his coworkers got in on it. I distinctly remember one of them impersonating Toad. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just thought it might make you smile :)

this is so delightful I love your Luigi dad

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*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?

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luxuries of buying my own things

-toothpaste with fluoride

-milk that's been pasturized

-watermelon scented hand soap

downsides

-money :(

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it’s difficult to be a dom with anarchist leanings.

my sub will be like “i have to tell you something… i broke a rule. i’ll accept whatever punishment you see fit.” and i’m like. rise up comrade you have nothing to lose but your padded restraints. no doms no masters. oh you want me to spank you. yeah i can do that.

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The left image as a rug and the right image as a ceiling poster

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being OCpilled is so fucking mortifying honestly. like oh... yeah..... heres my guy. i invented him. i can't think about anything else except for him this week. but he isn't cool or anything. he actually sucks. im just ill.

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the best thing about tumblr is that you can watch a show and then you come here and someone has made a gifset of it and you can put it on your blog like a sticker in a journal

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see this scar right here? That's from when my own pet cigarette turned on me and bit me as a child. my father had to put it down in the shed with an ash tray

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I’m at the doctor office and this baby keeps yelling “I want donow” (mcdonalds) and the big brother (I assume) said “all the mcdonalds burnt down, there’s no more mcdonalds”

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it sucks that the backrooms and by extent liminal spaces turned out the way they did in popular culture. i love dreamy places not because they're full of Scary Screatures or whatever but because they're fun and interesting and cool and a perfect place for a girl like me to lay her eggs

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whichever ad exec at Geico came up with the phrasing "up to 15% or more" needs some kind of award for concocting one of the most meaningless strings of words in the English language. all it guarantees is that the number is either lower or higher than 15%, inclusive. up to 15%... or more. a bladeless knife with no handle.

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there was a great study a few years that went into the whole "ppl online are bigger jerks than irl cuz theres a virtual wall and no repercussions" and the researchers were expecting to see that be the case but it turns out that people who were really angry or argumentative online were also found to just be assholes in person and people who were pretty patient and nice online were found to be patient and nice in real person as well

and it just debunked that whole cynical idea that people will naturally be mean if theres no punishment for it

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(posting performatively for mutual #1) my thing about the dracula found footage microgenre is that i honestly just don’t think it does enough to utilize the obvious themes of marginalization in the age of social media (posting performatively for mutual #2) everyone has at least one oc who no doubles kins komaeda (posting performatively for mutual #3) Welcome back to spider-man infertility thursday (posting performatively for mutual #4) This week I’ve been setting up a gallery page on my neocities with better load times and i really like how it’s coming along! (off the cuff) I think deep fried spamton would taste like grandma’s ashes

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"One must imagine syphilis happy" is not what i was trying to write google, thanks.