#something she considers as fear-worthy - an end for a

[iteats]

there is often this little devil dude (i think around the height of an average human's knees or so?) depicted beside namira's likeness at shrines –– while this is likely something, someone, in particular (to expound on at a late date because i haven't decided on the particulars) i think it's also utilized as a symbol for the fact that namira breeds a particular style of worshipper; something extremely loyal to a fault. she often plays this sort of caretaker role for many of those who follow her, who are often those shunned by society (again, beggars are canonically blessed by her, as are those with disease, those disregarded by society). she is deep and consuming with her love for those who worship her. she moves mountains for them, she protects them from evildoers. this in turn calls for a special sort of relationship between her and them, one which you don't necessarily see at least as often or to the same degree with other daedra. patron saint of lost causes...

[autistichalsin]

Analysis of each character's final words in the new Dark Urge evil ending

If you are romanced to a character, you have the option, when taking the new version of the Sins of the Father ending, to kill your partner in front of the others in your party, killing them with one last kiss. They then give their last words and pass away. I love each and every one and feel they are incredible characterization moments.

So let's break these down!

Lae'zel:

I... I am glad it was you. No other blade would have sufficed.

This is something that hammers home that, Vlaakith or no, Lae'zel deeply believes in all the ideals of a Githyanki. Life is a privilege for the strong, and death is the price of weakness. Further, if romanced, Lae'zel will affectionately call you "the source of my bruises" many times. If she has to die, if she has finally found the one person stronger than herself, then she is "satisfied" that it is you- who she both loved and admired. The only one she would ever consider worthy of besting her.

Karlach:

Fuck you.

Short, simple, and to the point, just the way Karlach does everything else. She's already gone through all her stages of grief with her engine- well, almost all of them. Anger still remains. She burns hot until the end.

Wyll:

I... I forgive you.

This isn't just Wyll being a good guy. This is heartbreak, and guilt. Guilt for not saving you from Bhaal's influence when he was so sure he had. Heartbreak that after he gave his literal soul to save as many people as he could, he couldn't save you- and couldn't save others from you, either. All he sacrificed, negated in an instant by the person he loved and trusted most. Of all the characters here, Wyll (tied with Halsin) sounds the most obviously broken, and it's easy to see why, given that he is self-sacrificing to a fault.

There was a set of scenes datamined from the game, where at the Morphic Pool, the Netherbrain would have taunted the players, causing them to hallucinate things related to their fears and insecurities. Wyll's would have been a vision of himself talking about how he was never a hero, how the Blade of Frontiers was a farce all along. One can't help but think about that scene here, wondering just how much blame, bordering on self-loathing, he might feel here.

Dark Justiciar Shadowheart:

I... I'm coming to you, Lady Shar.

Another short and simple one. By becoming a Dark Justiciar, Shadowheart has fully embraced the nihilism of Shar's teachings. Why be saddened or angry at her own death when this is just what she's embraced with all her sacrifices?

(Sidenote: this does also answer a question I had, namely, what was going to happen to everyone Durge kills. Thankfully it seems they aren't actually going to be sacrificed to him as such, and will indeed end up in the realm of their deities. This makes Bhaal's plan even DUMBER, because deities in DND lore need worshippers to have enough power to exist. Killing everyone at once just guarantees that soon after Durge dies as the last person alive, so too will Bhaal fade from existence.)

Selunite Shadowheart:

I... I thought we were going to save each other...

This Shadowheart rejected everything she knew. She was scared to defy her goddess, but worked up the courage- thanks to you. She thought you would have a new life together. She believed in you. She thought she would get to return the favor, and help you turn the page on Bhaal, too.

She's not just heartbroken for herself; she's heartbroken for you, too. Heartbroken at the life you denied both her and yourself.

Gale:

You made me want to live...

From the moment the orb entered Gale's chest, he knew he was at risk of dying. Then Mystra all but marked him as a dead man walking. But despite that, he finds love with you- and for the first time thinks maybe there is a purpose for him beyond Mystra. That he isn't more useful to the world dead. More than that, he wants to live to be with you, to enjoy your company and companionship. And then you kill him, and do the one thing WORSE than what would have happened if he'd never been pulled from that rock.

It almost would have been kinder to just hack his hand off the first time you met him, though Gale may or may not agree.

Spawn Astarion:

I should have killed you when I had the chance...

The angriest, most bitter response out of all the romanced companions, a step beyond Karlach's "fuck you." This is beyond "fuck you" and even beyond "I hate you." It's "I regret every moment I spent with you." You made him believe he could have better. That he could recover from what Cazador did. You even convinced him to spare the 7,000 spawn and that he could be something better than Cazador.

And now you reveal it was all a lie. Astarion is probably thinking that you talked him out of completing the ritual solely so he'd be easier to kill right here and now. How many regrets are flashing through his mind, how many moments where he wonders if things could have been different if only he'd done this or that, even aside from killing you?

All he wanted was to live as a free person. And then the first time he thinks he has that at last, he loses it as the world ends.

Ascended Astarion:

No... no, this can't be... I can't- you can't- no...

In contrast to spawn Astarion, ascended isn't angry, because he doesn't have the clarity, the ability to process what's happening. Spawn Astarion could tell he'd been betrayed.

But Ascended? Ascended, who went through so much to become one of the most powerful beings in the world, only to STILL lose without fanfare? And by you, his own spawn who he thought he had under his control? It isn't betrayal, because he is bluescreening; he can't comprehend what happened or how or why. How could he have been killed, and by you of all people? Was all he went through killing Cazador really for nothing? How could it be when he was supposed to be the most powerful? Was power actually meaningless all along?

He doesn't say anything of substance because he can't understand what's happening here.

Halsin:

Thaniel... goodbye...

Halsin is the oldest of all the companions. He's experienced the most loss of anyone; his birth family, his fellow Druids, and, for a time, Thaniel. He has had more than enough time to contemplate his own mortality, because he's already lived multiple lifetimes.

So here, two things are happening. One, he isn't expressing anger or betrayal at his murder- because he is more than wise enough, and humble enough, to understand that there are worse things than what has been done to himself. Instead of himself, he is thinking of the world he's leaving behind that is about to fall- and most of all, of his most important person, the one who gave him a purpose, who was there when no one else was, who he failed once and only just got back. The closest thing to a child he'll ever have. In his last moments, instead of himself, Halsin is thinking of those he loves.

And second, it's an almost deliberate snubbing of Durge. He willingly walked into that kiss, knowing full well it would be the last thing he ever did. He gave you his death, he pleaded with his own god to forgive you and him both. He gave you everything he felt he owed you, and no more- no begging or sobbing. Instead, he comes as close as he ever gets to selfishness, and spends his last moments thinking about the thing that makes him the happiest- which could have been you, in another life, if you hadn't done this.

Minthara:

No... we were meant to do this together...

Heartbreak, disbelief, and betrayal. You spent so many nights planning this out. She had been cast aside by her people, her goddess, and she was going to get the last laugh. She was going to crush them personally under her heel and prove she was the best (or second best, behind you) of all of them. She's devastated she won't get to help you torture all those souls and take what she feels was owed to her. But interestingly enough... no anger. Probably because it was overshadowed by the sheer heartbreak, but also a sign that even in those moments, she still admires you for your ruthlessness.

[blvdheart]

one of his many journal entries about you

arthur morgan x fem!reader and male!reader <33

i won’t lie…i have 45 hours on the game and i’m not even past chapter 2 (っ- ‸ – ς) why progress when i can save myself the pending heartbreak and instead admire this pretty man and his journal sketches?

anyways…love all you arthur morgan kissers ♡

“my body doesn’t feel right as of late. my hands are too rough, my face is all wrinkled up, and my voice isn’t all that pleasant. if only i could sound as smooth as i write.

never been the most confident of men, but well, this body’s what i’m stuck with. used to go months on end without shaving until i realized my beard looked like bills. how embarrassing. miss grimshaw, the strong-headed woman she is, knocked some sense into me too. well…more like slapped me.

shaving makes me look more approachable, and that’s not really a good thing with my reputation. but, i did it anyway and spent a pretty penny on the barber up in valentine’s…had to pay a bit extra because of the drunken ruckus lenny and i caused there last time.

if my heart hadn’t been captured, maybe these worries of mine wouldn’t even exist.

oh, the ridiculous things love does to a man…”

꒰ fem!reader ꒱

“about as beautiful as the stars above; a woman so otherworldly that sometimes I have to look away. she shines too brightly for these tired eyes of mine. i suppose that’s for the best, ain’t it? a man like me, the walking embodiment of sin, isn’t worthy of such a loving lady.

but that doesn’t keep her away. she often asks me to recount some of my adventures, and i hesitantly do so, fearful she’ll think me a bad man. craziest thing is, she looks more worried than anything else whenever i do as told. telling me to be more careful with that honey-like voice of hers. could listen to it all day. it’s like a balm to the soul.

can’t keep myself away from her either. doesn’t matter what she’s doing, i always find myself wandering over to her. i don’t usually have trouble sleeping, i’m like some rock when it comes to it. but she’s occupied my mind too much lately, falling asleep is difficult. like right now. should be sleeping, but i’m not. just up wondering about the ifs and hows.

i’ve been saving up some money so i can go get her something real nice, maybe a pretty dangly necklace. could just steal one, but i want to prove myself to her. she deserves the best, not something that belonged to some other stranger.

god knows i’d do whatever i can to keep her safe and sound. i’d die for her. funny thing is, i considered myself to be a selfish man before breathing the same air as her.

i can say with absolute certainty that i would give up everything for a future with her.

if she’d have me.

…

now, this fool’s about to try and sketch her.

not sure if i can encapsulate her beauty onto a page, though.”

꒰ male!reader ꒱

“i fear I’m going mad. i never thought i’d feel this way about a man before. then again, pursuit of romance has never been a priority in my life. he’s one of a kind, something about him makes my palms feel all clammy.

he never leaves my head, every inch of this brain of mine is consumed with thoughts of him. his grin, the way his hat perches on his head, the stories he shares ‘round the campfire.

i’ve come across many men on all my journeys, but his handsomeness is unmatched. and he’s different. doesn’t nag me like dutch or get on my nerves like micah, but he isn’t just a brother like some of the other folks here.

i’ve been a bit too scared to drink these days. you know me, i spill my guts out and say stupid things like a damn fool when i get like that. wouldn’t know what to do if i were to sputter out how fine of a fella i think he is, or how grateful i am for him. is this only a special friendship? no, i don’t know how to describe this.

well, yes i do, actually.

love.

my fingers trembled while writing that.

some may call this spark a sin, but going down an altar with him would be a taste of heaven itself. that wish is too far-fetched though.

all i ask for is a sign. just one. maybe i’m misreading the glimmer in his eye, or the way the bastard slings his arm over my shoulder and sings after he downs some moonshine.

weird how life works, isn’t it?”

[ma1dita]

hi jo!! can i please have a ticket to here for the boos! with sylus :)))) with a ice cream and fries! happy october ;)

devil inside

[STARRING: SYLUS QIN x reader ; “I know what you did.” “Blood? Oh it’s not mine.” ] wc: 1.4k warnings: none, undercover stripper!reader, mentions of Xavier as a friend if you consider that a warning LOL, ooc!MC? if that's possible? best hunter in Linkon City but the devs play her off too ditzy for my liking so i gave her some duality and spice. but also that might just be how she is w Sylus anyway, title from inxs

monster mash-terlist

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

Maybe he’s had a few too many gin fizzes tonight.

That, or Sylus Qin has found himself completely captivated by the sight of you dancing on stage. The leader of Onychinus is rarely impressed by anything or anyone. It’s all a part of the job, after all. 

If Sylus was ever to be caught off-guard, he risks losing everything he’s worked for.

Winning is how he survives, and ensuring that keeps everything and everyone in the N-109 Zone in order. Anyone good or bad knows not to play him at his own game. Still, there’s something in the way you look at him as you spin around that pole that makes him think you could be a worthy opponent.

He shakes his head, running his hand through his silver hair, but his eyes remain transfixed on the way your hands slither up and down your body. You’re good at what you do and everyone in the establishment can see that, dollar bills flying onto the stage like confetti as you sway your hips. But he won’t let himself be shaken so easily by a woman he’s never met before.

The song ends with the club’s roaring applause as you twirl and flutter your lashes, waving cutely at men who leer at you like you’re a piece of meat. However, you’ve already made your mark on the most feared man in the establishment.

Making your way over to him and his henchmen, you lean down and offer him a smile, “You look like you might have something I need.” And once your eyes lock, Sylus can’t fathom not getting to know you. He thinks he can hear Luke choke on his spit under his mask, or maybe it’s Kieran—one of them whacks the other but that all fades into the background as his blood red eyes roam your face and then, lower. 

He’s still a man, after all.

“Eyes up here, mister. I think I just asked you a question.”

You’re a fearless one, toying with him in front of so many unfortunate souls that will never see the light of day once he blows this place up later. 

Perhaps he’ll do you a favor and warn you. A face like yours is too pretty to go up in flames. He smirks, “Is that so? Run it by me again,” he croons, index finger playing with the pendant that hangs from your neck, “You’ve got my attention, kitten.” Your smile widens, saccharine and sinister, as you repeat yourself.

“Do you have what I need?”

Oh, he knows you’re not here for him tonight. The man you were supposed to interrogate for information is being dragged out the back entrance by the blonde guy who’s been starring daggers at him since you started talking. 

“I think your associate already has him out back. Unless you mean something else, sweetie.”

Pretty little kitty, rubbing herself up against the wrong bad guy. 

It’s not your fault per se—the mission report details told you the person you were looking for would stand out; though it just so happens that Xavier found him first. Your eyes flash, straightening your posture as you spare him another smile before turning to head out the back door, “Maybe next time then. Thanks, handsome.” You’re gone in a swish of sparkles and you don’t look back at him, not even once. But Sylus does love a game, and you’ve successfully captured his interest, even if that wasn’t your original mission.

Later, on his way out, he hears the sound of metal against metal from the alleyway. Sylus watches you fight back-to-back with your partner through the crack in the emergency exit door, slashing through Wanderers with sheer power and athleticism in every strike. 

Who knew his little kitten had claws? How interesting.

“Ugh! Xay, Tobias is getting away!” you grunt, holding your sword down by your side—and Sylus dares to wonder where you pulled that out from. There are still two Herte Knaves staggering up from the ground, ready to pounce, “You need to get that briefcase!”

“I’m not leaving you here!”

Slashing a Wanderer clean through, you take a second to wipe the sweat from your brow, “I can handle this Xavier. You need to trust me, and we need to finish the mission. He won’t make it far if you use your Evol.”

Your hunter friend hesitates, before taking off, looking back at you the whole time, “Please be careful! I’ll communicate with you!” And Sylus has seen enough, he thinks, stepping out into the darkness. If he were fighting with you, it wouldn't even enter his mind to leave you alone like this. But as he raises his faintly glowing hand to pummel the last Wanderer into dust, your sword gleams in the streetlights, hacking at its weakest points until it disintegrates. You don't see him lurking in the shadows, as you collect protocores, sheathing your sword against your hip. The beeping noises on your comms link remind you to inform Xavier of your whereabouts.

"Remind me to never get on your bad side, sweetie."

You jolt, averting your eyes when you catch him at the door.

How long has he been there?

Sylus looks at you through full lashes and time stops. You don’t remember how he got so close to you, or why you let him…something pulling you to him from the depths of your core. His hand wraps delicately around the base of your neck and cheek before you even realize it, breath hitching under his caress, "Is that...."

"Blood? Oh, it's not mine," you smile as if he didn't see you single-handedly annihilate a group of Wanderers on your own, "I just got sloppy."

Your smaller hand claps around his wrist, fingers barely wrapping around his skin as you push him away and start walking. It's best to get out of here, handsome stranger be damned.

"I didn't get your name, kitten. Do you belong to someone?" he says playfully, watching your figure sashay towards the end of the street. You stop, not turning to meet his eyes. It's risky to get involved with someone while on the job, much less in the N-109 Zone.

What would the Association think?

"That's for me to know, and for you to find out."

Expensive cashmere is draped over your shoulders. You don't remember hearing his footsteps come near you at all. When you turn back towards the alley, the mysterious man is gone. Swallowing hard, you button the suit jacket to protect your modesty—who knows what other unexpected deviants might follow you home.

Mephisto caws from a nearby powerline, mechanical eyes gleaming ruby red like his master's. He makes sure you leave before the club explodes, plumes of smoke filling the night sky.

But all he can think of is you and the challenge you've presented him— a week later, Sylus has bought out an entertainment complex that you frequent in Linkon. He goes to inspect his newest business venture, making the trip out in scorching daylight and losing sleep every day that week just in case you might drop by.

What he doesn't expect to see is you standing in front of the plushie machine on your day off, eyes fixated on the stuffed animals within the glass box. You've been trying to collect the Succulent Bunny for an hour now, and he thinks even a fire wouldn't break your concentration. Sylus has tried everything—walked back and forth down the aisles, pretending to help customers nearby....he ought to stick Mephisto in there to be caught by the metal claw.

"I just need to try harder..." you mutter, the green plush slipping out of the trembling prongs. It glows red the longer you stare at it, lifting itself towards the slot, before hitting against the glass.

What?

You can feel the energy flux thrumming from inside the machine. Is there a Wanderer inside the plushie? Its new position makes it easier to capture—you can't help but scream in joy when the bells go off and the stupid thing slides into the hole.

"YES!"

You look around you frantically, hair whipping against your neck and then you see a familiar figure leaning against the doorway just like how you left him at the club. Hugging the plushie, you quickly walk towards Sylus. He watches you come towards him again with the same determination in your eyes, though the behavior you've presented in the arcade is nothing like the seductress he saw at the club. Here, you're not a hunter—just a plushie enthusiast.

"I know what you did."

"I could say the same about you, kitten. Wanna trade thoughts on it?" he smirks, looking down at your amused expression.

Two can play this game— it looks like the both of you are willing to take a gamble.

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

ma1dita's monster mash is closed for requests but ongoing for the rest of october!

[venussaidso]

Mercury Dominant Themes — 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 (part 1) 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏

It seems to be a theme in Revati where all the wealth that has been accumulated from the Uttara Bhadrapada stage is easily accessed, but the native must be deemed worthy or in alignment with this sacred wealth, and very often they are (but they have to prove it, usually). Profound, universal secrets are quietly recovered in Revati where elevating/ascension is easily achieved (whether through wealth status, spirituality, surpassing mental limitations etc.).

The 12H activates so perfectly in Revati by draining everything away to remind us of those secrets so that we 'wake up' again.

I'm going to use monetary wealth and inheritance for my observation, not spiritual, so bare with me.

Revati reminds us of the duality of privilege and hardship, which is either emphasized in this nakshatra or tends to be taken for granted (how such 12H harsh lessons will come in).

We can see how Revati is the 'nepo baby' nakshatra, but there's more to it if we extend this theme a bit more.

Revati being extremely wealthy while also being a nakshatra about humanity & community further validates it being a universal sign (Pisces).

We can look at the story; The Prince & the Pauper written by Mark Twain who is Revati Moon.

The story is about two boys, the prince and the pauper, who switch places and briefly experience each other's lives. The prince experiences the struggle of a commoner's life, and the pauper gets a taste of the responsibilities of the royal life. This makes them have a deeper understanding and even empathy for each other and others alike. Revati emphasizes the shared humanity of all of us, and that's why this nakshatra tends to use their wealth to give back to communities; going into foreign lands to help others that cannot be helped. This proves them being worthy of their wealth, which is now something that can be maintained and even elevated.

Gaining inheritance but only through challenging conditions is something that I associate with Revati. This falls into them proving themselves worthy of the given wealth or learning to put their ego down to be properly nourished.

The film The Bachelor (1999) is about a man, who is fearful of commitment, is made aware that the only way to inherit his grandfather's wealth is by finding himself a bride. The guy is literally commitment-phobic, but he must change his ways. He is played by a Revati Moon.

It's very interesting that films regarding family monetary/asset inheritance have (Mercurial) nakshatras which trine Revati. For example, the film The Descendants (2011) has a plot where the main character is considering on selling a pristine piece of land that has been passed down throughout generations in his family. The director of this film is a Jyestha Moon.

Or the film Inheritance (2020) stars an Ashlesha Moon who plays a character whose father dies, unfairly leaving her with a small inheritance of $1m compared to her brother - played by a possible Ashlesha Moon - who received $20m.

Unfortunately, she also inherits a lifetime of deception and deadly truths that her father left her to deal with. So, we can see how this trope looks on the flipped side where inheritance can be a curse. Mercury nakshatras are the last to deal with the (family) baggage that tend to be passed on from their family, and they're usually the ones to put an end to curses or cycles. Mercury nakshatras, in the general, are the last stage where all matters from the Jupiter/Saturn nakshatras are dealt with & released. In the film, the deceased father is interestingly played by a Vishakha Sun, Purva Bhadrapada Moon.

Actually, circling back to the film The Bachelor (1999), the deceased grandfather who's willing to pass his wealth to his Revati Moon grandson is actually played by a Pushya Moon, Punarvasu Ascendant. I find that Saturn nakshatras can make things challenging for Mercurial nakshatras, not wanting to let them off too easy. Giving them challenging conditions regarding inheritance. Sometimes, Jupiter/Saturn nakshatras can play a role in which they take advantage of vulnerable, Mercury nakshatra natives.

This is seen in the film Rain Man, which was literally directed by Revati Sun AND Jyestha Moon, Barry Levinson.

The film is about two brothers who reunite after the death of their father. The greedy, selfish brother played by a Pushya/or Punarvasu Moon who realizes that his father left his entire estate to his autistic savant brother who is played by an Ashlesha Sun. The Pushya/or Punarvasu Moon brother kidnaps the Ashlesha in hopes to get him to share his inheritance with him.

Now, very interesting how Mercury nakshatras can be born into wealth but it can all be drained away from recklessness, arrogance, or for a lesson for the natives. Going bankrupt, being dethroned etc. can be Revati/12H themes that make us go boundless, by taking everything away which we held onto most of our lives. It makes sense why the 12H is said to be co-ruled by Ketu. Nakshatras trining Revati can also have these themes extended to them.

The film 'Material Girls' is about two heiresses to a multi-million-dollar company who approach life very recklessly and arrogantly. One day a scandal they get involved in causes the downfall of their family reputation and they shift into a life of being penniless and homeless.

The film stars Jyestha Moon, Hilary Duff, and her sister, Haylie Duff, who has her Mars&Venus in Revati. And the movie is literally directed by Revati Moon, Martha Coolidge.

Another movie to mention is the very first Thor (2011) movie, in which the main character - an arrogant, reckless royal prince - is stripped of his powers and banished from his home. He lands on Earth, powerless and ordinary, where he learns humility and what it truly means to be a hero before reclaiming his status. The main character is played by Ashlesha Sun Chris Hemsworth, and the movie is directed by Jyestha Sun Kenneth Branagh. LMAOOO I MISTAKENLY WROTE JYESTHA MOON IN THE PIC

Now, onto Disney Princesses.

What do these three movies have in common? There's a commonality in their respective storylines. Rapunzel, Princess Aurora, and Princess Anastasia all have a period in the plots where they are not aware of their royal lineage or rightful place on the throne. It becomes a central narrative to move the stories towards these characters finally remembering who they are. 12H themes are at work again here, as 12H will strip you of your identity and create even more confusion of the Self. The 12H is also about remembering who you are again, being reminded of where you belong. These characters are so incredibly Piscean/12th house in nature that of course they can only be voiced by Revati natives!

Tangled (2010) — Mandy Moore voicing Rapunzel

Sleeping Beauty (1959) — Mary Costa as Aurora

Anastasia (1997) — Meg Ryan as Anastasia

Live-action version of Princess Aurora has been played by Elle Fanning; very fittingly lmao.

There's a Barbie Rapunzel movie and Rapunzel was interestingly voiced by a dominant Revati stellium.

And Rapunzel in the Shrek version was voiced by someone with two Ashlesha placements (I know, not the best example but having two repeated nakshatras make them dominant imo).

As I've mentioned, nakshatras that have the same nakshatra lord can share the same themes because they trine as a result, so they're closely connected. But Revati is the face of this post, just btw.

From what I gathered, Revati teaches humility, empathy and compassion. Revati is a nakshatra that sees humanity in all, and this trope is well embodied in the Prince and the Pauper story. Revati teaches us how class and wealth creates illusions of separation, and so the 12H takes that thing you believe 'separates' you from others so that you are reminded of the truth. Reminded, is the key word, because the truth has already been realized Uttarabhadrapada, where self-liberation and abundance is achieved. In Revati, you forget the truth that freed you in Uttarabhadrapada. So, Ketu will remind you (Pisces/12H co-ruled by Ketu) and it will hurt (the process of remembering hurts, but the aftermath is so freeing). But things can go the Disney Princess way, where you have to find your way back to yourSELF. This is how we see Revati natives losing themselves, especially in love, just to forget to remember (which is the whole point of life/humanity... EXACTLY WHY REVATI IS A UNIVERSAL NAKSHATRA).

[blacknedsoul-blog]

Montresor (and Willtresor) are the Bad Ending of White Raven III: now it is personal

Well, after realizing that I have like (check the list) two unfinished "sagas" of essays, I remembered that I had this 80% done and I told myself that maybe it was an excellent time to get on with this shit to keep kicking the archetypes and gothic tragedy essay under the rug

When I thought about this ("hey, if Montresor has so many similarities to Lenore and Annabel, where does that leave Will?"), my first thought was that the parallel would be this:

We have a charming blondie charlatan who arrives just in time to offer their "friendship" (wink, wink) to a poor individual who couldn't be hungrier for affection and validation. A deal sealed with a handshake, otherwise.

Here the parallel between Will and Lenore is drawn in that they are both rather reactive people: they don't take the initiative to do things, they react to things that happen around them. For example, Will wasn't the one who came up with the idea of putting Duke behind the wall, just as Lenore didn't come up with this whole fake rivalry scheme.

But neither of them refuse to participate, either because they think they can get away with it, or because they don't stop to think about the consequences of the things they get into. And, in general, they tend to panic when things don't go their way and immediately back off (even when that's not possible).

But this is where the parallel ends, because their personalities and approaches are completely different: Will tends to curl up in a ball and look for excuses not to get hurt, while Lenore is an extremely blunt weapon capable of taking whatever is thrown at her.

So you can imagine the look on my face when, after thinking it over, I realized that the person Will has the most in common with is not Lenore.

It's Annabel.

Because if we had a nickel for every time we saw a character in Nevermore…

Be willing to tolerate physical harm to protect an object of affection whose game has backfired.

Idealizing that object of affection to obsessive levels.

Taking harmful attitudes out of a desire to be accommodating because they think that's what that person expects of them.

And putting up with it even though it is tearing them apart inside...

We would have two nickels. It's not much, but it's interesting that it happened twice.

With that, I could up the ante and point out something else that Annabel and Will have in common: they're both invisible people. Will is someone no one gives a second glance to, while Annabel is seen more as an object or an idea than an individual (a pretty accessory in life, an unbeatable queen in death). They don't really matter to anyone.

Except for one person. One person for whom they are willing to give absolutely everything. Their lives, their physical integrity, their identity.

This creates an enormous fear of being abandoned by that person, when they have given them such an important part of their self-construction, who are they without them?

Then there is the particular way in which they both understand relationships. Annabel has openly stated that she sees social relationships as commercial exchanges. It is not known whether Will has a similar view, but in practice he behaves much like Annabel in this respect: they see themselves as important to the extent that they can be useful to their particular person. Tools to be used, rather than individuals deserving some form of appreciation, care, or even affection for simply being them.

Under that premise, it's to be expected that Montresor or Lenore will discard them the moment something more useful or better comes along, because that's what you do with tools. If some of them end up in the trash, it's because Annabel or Will have failed to remain useful, and they need to make amends for their mistakes in order to be considered worthy of a second look.

Which makes it tremendously ironic that Lenore says this to Will…

When in the midst of a panic attack, this is one of the first concerns Annabel has to express.

At this point, the difference between the two situations jumps out: Lenore cares about Annabel. Where Montresor is more than happy to use Will's complexes to keep him chained to him, Lenore is far from being comfortable with all that crap. Again, what draws the lines in the end is that there are people who have their hearts in the right place and there are people who don't.

But I think there's one thing that's a little darker: please watch Montresor's face when he realizes that the person he's choking is Will.

And watch his complete lack of reaction when Lenore pulls it out of his face.

I think the fucked up thing about the situation is that Montresor seems to care about Will. At least enough to feel a certain amount of remorse. But in a world where there are winners and losers (a perspective he shares with Annabel), where it doesn't pay to care about the losers if you're a winner, Montresor doesn't have the resources to treat Will any better. Even if he wanted to, he's too deep into toxic patterns of behavior to show him any degree of kindness, because the only way this man is able to relate is through abuse, control, and manipulation.

This is extremely fucked up when you consider that this is the fuzzy line that separates Lenore and Montresor in the roles they have within the relationship with Annabel and Will.

At the end of the day, the Willtresor is a dark reflection of the White Raven, because that's the consequence of instrumentalizing the relationship in this way: you have one party who benefits from what the other is willing to do for them -and no matter how much they care, it still relegates them to the role of tools- and another person desperately picking up crumbs of validation because they don't think they deserve any better.

[ruinaimagines]

OMG I THOUGHT THIS ACC WAS DEAD GLAD TO SEE U BACK THO!!!!!

anywho could u write some outis x reader hcs pls

Project Moon is a chronic ailment to my brain so I am always here, lingering. I will be back. Can’t promise when I’ll be back but it will be eventually.

Outis x Reader Headcanons:

This is a woman who has been through a lot, done a lot too. Not all things she may see as warranting forgiveness. She is saddled with a personal sense of responsibility to see things to the end even if it takes sacrifice. 

But she is loyal, deeply so, fiercely so. And should she place trust in you then so too will she abide by your will. She has an undeniable sense of faith for those who she believes even if some of their suggestions or ideas.. Are not the ones she would find herself making.

Outis is used with working in high-caliber strictly professional settings where everything is meticulously planned out. This makes for her sociability to be a bit difficult with those she considers inept.

She aims to impress and this no doubt extends to you. High-strung in public everything must be perfect, whatever outings you have she has organized and outlined them so you can’t even fathom a moment of concern.

She wants everything to be up to par for you which often means that people aren’t free from her scrutiny. While this might work well in a work setting, it can extend outside and to times when it’s not necessary. 

What she does comes from the genuine hope of making things more enjoyable for you but it can be a bit much. It can end up making things more stressful when she is so focused on managing the menial things and holding others to absurd standards –not even for herself, but for you.

However she will listen when you tell her to stand down. Once again it isn’t malicious just misguided. 

There is an incredibly homely and domestic quality to her that comes more naturally when it is just you two. A refuge where after the long day’s work, after all is said and done, she can return to the hearth that you offer.

You’ll find that her cooking is better than what you can find at restaurants anyway. We know from the Hell’s Chicken event that she prepares food from the heart, and there is nothing as cozy as a homecooked meal. It allows her to be more relaxed and whatnot when away from the buzz of people.

Not to say that her confrontational nature is always a bad thing. If people are treating you rudely, or you are off-put or uncomfortable by something there is not a universe where she’d sit by idly. 

If you are adverse to conflict yourself it can be incredibly difficult to speak up and let people down easily. This is not even a thought that crosses her mind. Someone is heckling you? Damn right it might lead to conflict, but there is no justification in her mind for you to be treated poorly like this. People are often dissuaded or give up once they see how undeterred she is.

She doesn’t experience anxiety when she is stepping in for you because she sees it as a reasonable action. That said, you might be a bit anxious and fear escalation. If you communicate this to her, even if she doesn’t fully understand why, she will tone it down a notch.

That doesn’t mean she will do nothing, but you can rest knowing that perhaps with a derisive comment towards them sprinkled in here or there that she will acquiesce and leave with you. 

I do believe that there is little that you could do that would stop making her love you. It is unconditional because she has done many awful things, and yet you love her still. She doesn’t believe herself to be entirely worthy of the love you give, but she will vow to return it. 

I do not think Outis would be overly affectionate in the traditional sense when it comes to in public or in front of those she knows. It’s not a case of being embarrassed by it, but more of an act of safety. A woman with a history like hers means one who has been in many situations where loved ones can be held at a point of ransom. Wouldn’t be surprised if she had quite a few enemies.

The sinners would probably think you were more of a superior than her partner, funny enough. But seeing how much more relaxed you are with her, and even physically affectionate it sort of clues them in.

Might become a point of teasing for some of the more devious sinners, but they would quickly learn not to. It’s one thing to face a lecture on their inadequacy from her, it’s entirely another to bring up her personal life. There’s a sense of immediate wrongdoing and foreboding that most would rather not experience again.

There is an unmistakable tenderness in her regard to you. Every action she does is another pledge to you. For as much as she would do for you, she greatly enjoys acts of service in return. Take her coat off her shoulders, brew her some tea, maybe even draw a relaxing bath, do what work you can for her so that she doesn’t have to worry.

Outis’ time spent with you is one she can unwind in, a seldom opportunity otherwise. To say she would be appreciative when you try to support this is an understatement. 

I’m sorry I just thought about her coming home with flowers for you and a tear came to my eye. I can see it. After trudging through the day and poor weather at last she returns with a bouquet. It’s nothing super extravagant, perhaps an assortment of hydrangea or whatever your favorite flower is.

Speaking of which, on her journey, I can see her returning to you with keepsakes that remind her of you. Most of these are picked up when she’s trailing behind the others and are stored safely in her room until she sees you next.

You can not tell me this woman doesn’t have a little locket with your picture in it. She’s viewing that thing periodically and it helps remind her why she is doing what she is doing.

Anything you give her that she can smuggle onto Mephistopheles or herself she will hold tight. Not the superstitious type, but finds your gifts to bring some kind of prosperity even if it’s logically because of a shift of mindframe.

I can’t help but think her hands would be very nice to hold, they are worn and weathered, but she has a firm grip, a grounding one. 

Overall a very devoted person though her actions might be more prominent than words. You help defuse what irritation she might have from the day and instead sink into a sense of security, and she commits to giving you that same security.

[venerawrites]

Hello dear, I'm glad you're back! I want to ask for Itachi if you don't mind, oh god he's so cute I can't stand it! I was thinking how my boy will behave when he is in love, You know, he has a lot of love for his brother and even died for him (although that was my impression🤷). What will happen if he falls in love with a girl? His public behavior, inner feelings and thoughts...

love you so much honey😘 I don't want to force you to write anything, if you don't like this, just ignore it💖

author's note: hi, lovely! I totally agree Itachi is full of love and it makes me sad to think he never had the chance to give this love to a partner! :( Thank you so much for your request - I loved writing it! Since you specified falling in love with a girl, I used she/her pronouns in the headcanons. I hope you enjoy! <3

➤ Inner thoughts/feelings

A HURRICANE of feelings!

Because of his past, Itachi has always considered himself unworthy of love - both to give and receive. The idea of having romantic affection toward someone feels almost selfish and he feels he does not deserve such happiness.

But the heart wants what it wants and despite his attempts to tame his feelings, he would find himself falling deeper and harder. Every moment shared together would give a glimpse of the life he always secretly dreamed to have - one where he can be free of the guilt about his past and where he can be worthy of calling himself a husband and, one day, even a father.

I think it would definitely take a lot of patience and hard work from his partner's side to convince him to give himself the chance to be happy. Given what he went through, he would never be free of the dark thoughts and the self-doubt, but the control they have over him would lessen with time.

➤ Public behaviour

I don't think there will be a lot of changes in terms of how he acts in public, to be honest.

He will maintain his usual composed and calm demeanour, not showing any signs of attraction or affection toward the woman that managed to capture his heart. I think only people very close to him, like Kisame for example, would be able to notice subtle changes as the way his eyes soften when he looks at her or the way he instinctively tries to shield her with his body in dangerous situations.

Itachi is highly aware of how other perceive him and he knows he cannot publicly show any fondness or care toward the woman he likes, without putting her in danger. How well he keeps his distance, however, would greatly depends on the fact if she is a civilian or another ninja.

If she is a ninja and part of Akatsuki, for example, he would keep respectful distance. Like I said, other than his partner, no one else would be able to notice the small changes in his body language around her. He would treat her the way he has always been treating her and would avoid lingering too much in her presence, unless absolutely necessary (like a mission or something). Sometimes he would let his eyes linger on her a few second longer, but other than that there wouldn't be any other signs.

If she is not a ninja, but a civilian, it would be a different story. I think despite his calm and stoic nature, Itachi does have the tendency to worry too much and sometimes be even paranoid. I think his fear of his enemies somehow finding out about his feelings would end up in them using her as leverage. He would go and check on her once a month at first, but the more he got to know her, the more anxious he would get about the potential dangers. In the end he would visit her almost every week and while most of the Akatsuki would notice at this point, I think very few would actually care.

The closer he gets with his beloved, the more thoughtful gestures he would make toward her. He would to her likes and dislikes, noting every minor detail of their discussions in order to surprise them later in time. I totally see him as the type of man who would cook his partner's favourite dish from childhood that she randomly mentioned in a late night talk a few months ago.

Even when he starts a relationship with the woman that managed to charm him, it would take a loooong time for Itachi to relax and show any form of physical affection toward her. At least a few months would need to pass for him to be comfortable next to her and twice as long for him to feel comfortable to actually grab her hand in his or peck her lips. His partner would need to be very patient when it comes to physical affection, but this man is totally worth it!

[kooktrash]

Fighting heart mc has a little accident at home and needs to go to the hospital (maybe for stitches?) and jk calls her and nurse pick it up and says that she’s in hospital 😌 And of course he got panicked and rushed to the hospital and even after he saw that she’s perfectly fine he can’t help but cry because of the fear and all those ugly emotions (and he thought that something big happened to her) 😭😭 And of course he wouldn’t stop gushing over her and be her ‘yes man’

oooof I missed these two idk. jk has always been the more stressed out one so I could def see him completely losing his shit while oc is like “🤷🏽‍♀️Shit happens” he def makes a bigger deal out of it.

FIGHTING HEART

warnings: mentions of bl**d, oc cuts her leg with glass. jk gets anxiety from it. oc needed stitches 2.4K words.

You never considered yourself a handy man of any sort. You hate getting your hands dirty and you hate doing any sort of hard labor at all—it’ll mess up your manicure, but today you didn’t have much of a choice. You had just been lounging around your apartment all day with Jimin who decided he would come over and keep you company. Your boyfriend, Jungkook, has been stuck training lately because he’s got a big fight coming up and Jin has been really strict on him because of it. Even if he won’t admit it, you know he’s been stressed because if he wins, he’ll win big.

Jungkook has finally begun to really establish himself as a real boxer and right now he’s getting so many calls from just about anyone in the boxing world looking to set a match with him. He’s so close to being the lightweight champion and you know it’s been a lot of pressure on him so all you’ve wanted to do was show him your support and show him he could rely on you.

Maybe that’s why you decided to tackle this issue on your own today.

“You’re scaring me, Y/n,” Jimin said as he watched you stand on your kitchen counter trying to switch out a lightbulb, “If you fall Jungkook is going to kill me.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you turned to him with the huge, heavy lightbulb in your hands, “Stop being so negative, I’m very capable of changing a lightbulb, thank you very much.”

Jimin released a sigh, “I mean… if you say so.”

Jungkook was exhausted, his body ached everywhere and all he wanted to do was drive over to you, pull you into a bath with him and hopefully fall asleep after. Lately it feels like all he’s done is train with Hobi and right now he just wants to stop it all and go see you.

Of course he’s thankful for all the opportunities he’s been given in life but right now he just wants to be selfish and hang out with the love of his life without worrying about the newest brand deal—which right now, Calvin Klein has been blowing up Jin’s phone to sign the new and upcoming boxer as a brand ambassador. He thinks he’ll do it but only if he can get you signed on as well, it’s not like they would say no with the connections you have. Maybe he’ll talk to you about it tonight.

“Alright Kook, you wanna rest up tonight because tomorrow we’re doing it all over again,” Hoseok said to him as they walked toward their parked cars ready to end today’s session, “Are you going to see Y/n?”

“That’s the plan,” Jungkook said, already taking his phone out to call you, “I’m thinking we’ll get dinner and after that probably just lounge around.”

They said their goodbyes and once Jungkook was in the privacy of his car, he called you. Lately, he’s been so busy he almost feels guilty for not being able to see you. You’re so supportive and loving and all he wants to do is spend all his time with you but he’s finally doing something with his life and it’s all because of you so he just continues to push himself to his limits. He wants to be with someone worthy of you, no matter how many times you assure him you’ll love him no matter what.

You chose him over anyone else, even when you saw his poor living conditions with leaking roofs and broken cabinets. You stayed with him when you saw him lose control at an underground fight club. You’ve chosen him and he loves you so much that he misses you anytime he’s away.

When the call went to voicemail he couldn’t help but be confused, you told him you would just be home today so he wondered why you wouldn’t answer. Maybe you were sleeping or not around your phone, so he called you again just to be sure.

“Hello?”

Jungkook pulled the phone away from his ear, looking down at the screen to make sure he had in fact called you and not whatever guy was currently answering the phone, “Y/n?”

“Jungkook,” Jimin cleared his throat awkwardly, “Um, this is Jimin.”

He released a breath in relief, “Oh, where’s Y/n?”

“Um,” Jimin bit his lip nervously as he looked behind him. Jungkook waited for him to speak but the longer he stayed quiet the more worried he got. Why did Jimin answer your phone and why did he seem so nervous?

“Y/n can’t really answer the phone right now,” Jimin said, already imagining your overprotective boyfriend plunging his fist into Jimin’s pretty head, “She had an accident an—“

“What?” Jungkook hit the brakes hard, completely forgetting he was trying to drive out of the parking lot, “What do you mean accident? Where is she?”

“We’re at the hospital right now, they’re giving her stitches—“

“Where?” Jungkook’s voice dropped to a low octave as his blood ran cold. He barely listened to the hospital Jimin told him before he was hanging up and speeding toward you. He ran a couple red lights but he didn’t even care. He felt his anxiety begin to spike up to the point where his chest tightened painfully and it was getting hard for him to breathe.

Getting to the hospital all happened in a blur, he went straight to the E.R section and he knew that the nurse behind the counter thought he looked crazy.

He was drenched in sweat from training and his eyes were red, his hands shaky and his voice cracked when he asked what room you were in.

“She’s just finishing up surgery and she’ll be out soon, I’ll take you to where the friend is waiting,” the nurse said and he anxiously followed after her, biting his lip so hard that it bled. The elevator ride felt like an eternity and he ignored the nurse’s warning not to run as he searched for Jimin who sat outside the room with his head down.

“What happened?” Jungkook asked and there was no denying the panic in his voice. Jimin shot up out of his seat looking a little scared by the way Jungkook glared at him. Jimin bit his lip, “We were in her kitchen and Y/n was trying to change a stupid lightbulb and—“

“Ow!”

Jungkook looked to the room, the blinds were closed so he couldn’t even look in and the door was shut, “Oh my god, did she fall?”

Jimin nodded subtly, “Y/n dropped the bulb and I think it s-scared her and she ended up falling a-and, glass was everywhere a—“

“What the fuck were you doing?!” Jungkook yelled louder than he meant to and others immediately turned to him with worry. Jimin’s eyes widened at the way Jungkook grabbed at him and once Jungkook realized what he was doing, he immediately let him go, “I’m sorry, Jimin. Sorry… b-but, if something happens to Y/n…”

“I know man,” Jimin put a hand on his shoulder, “She’s just getting a few stitches and she’ll be out soon. I’m sorry.”

Jungkook sat down with his head in his hands, hiding himself as he shut his eyes trying to get his brain to shut up. He knows that you’ll be fine but he can’t help but imagine the worse. He’s been so busy lately and he told you he would switch the stupid lightbulb for you and just kept forgetting. This is all his fault. All of it.

The thought of you being hurt in even the slightest way made him sick to his stomach. You weren’t supposed to get hurt. He’s supposed to keep you safe and be there for you and he hasn’t been and he feels so fucking shitty because all he can picture right now is your fall. How bad was it? How did it happen? Jimin said there was glass everywhere…

How hurt were you?

It felt like years passed before they were finally let into the room. Jimin stood behind with guilt written all over his face as Jungkook went right to your side, immediately holding your face in his hands, “Baby, tell me you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” you said with a smile as you looked down at your leg, “Just a couple stitches, nothing too bad.”

“Six stitches and a large piece of glass in her heel,” the doctor said as he looked down at his paperwork. Jungkook was hovering over you with his forehead pressed against yours, “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” You asked brushing his sticky hair out of his face, “I’m fine.”

“She did great,” the doctor said, finally getting Jungkook’s attention, “We’re going to prescribe something for the pain and finish up some paperwork. We have a pair of crutches Y/n could use but she should be healed in about three weeks. As of right now, I’d say put as little weight on her foot as possible, it was a big fall and she’s definitely bruised up.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Jungkook said and you looked at him. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you looked down at your boyfriend who lifted your knuckles to his lips and kissed the top of them. You could see his reddened eyes and when he looked up at you it was clear he was crying, this is the second time you’ve seen your strong boyfriend cry and it broke you.

“Jimin,” you looked to your friend, “Can you give us a minute?”

The doctor took that as his cue to go get the paperwork and leave with your friend until it was just you and Jungkook. “Baby,” you called to him once you were alone and he allowed himself to fully break down against your hospital bed, “What’s wrong? Are you mad? I know you told me to wait b-but, I just wan—“

“I’m so sorry,” he cried, tears falling down his cheeks, “I’m so fucking sorry, Y/n. I keep telling you over and over again that I want to be someone you deserve and I just keep disappointing you.”

You sat up suddenly, wincing a little as you shifted your leg and Jungkook immediately looked up with fear, “Jungkook, this isn’t your fault at all. This was an accident, I was being impatient. Even Jimin told me it was a bad idea but I wanted to prove that I could do things on my own, obviously not bu—“

“Baby, you’re so strong and you don’t even know it,” Jungkook said as he sat down on the edge, careful not to take up too much room, “So strong and smart that you can do anything. I just… I should’ve just done it the first time you told me.”

“Don’t blame yourself for this,” You combed his hair back before wiping his tears away with your thumb, “And shouldn’t I be the one crying? I just got six stitches.”

Jungkook sniffled as he leaned forward and pulled you into a tight hug, “I was so scared, baby, so fucking scared that something horrible happened and I just… I just couldn’t get over the fact that I wasn’t around.”

Your eyes met his and to help him calm down, and remind him he won’t lose you, you kissed him. Jungkook kissed you back wantonly, hand in your hair and salty tears on his tongue, “I love you so much.”

The wait for the paperwork took forever and Jimin sat in the corner of the room watching you and Jungkook. He had been so exhausted from his training that when he rested his head on your chest, he fell asleep.

“You’ve got a very concerned boyfriend on your hands,” the nurse said once she returned, “I hear he caused a commotion downstairs and out in the hall just worried sick about you.”

“I’m sure he did,” you said in a whisper, brushing a finger against his cheek that had him waking up slowly, eyes hazy as he looked up at you.

“Alright, well just follow the doctor’s orders, once the numbing block wears off you’ll feel some pain because you sprained your ankle. We’ll do a follow up in about a week, how does that sound? Now I need the one she’ll be leaving with to sign these documents.

“Sounds good, we’ll be here,” Jungkook had your hand in his as he signed the paper with his free hand, there were crutches in her hands and she was motioning for you to try and sit up. Jungkook didn’t hesitate to tuck an arm under your back and the other one under your knees before he was lifting you up.

“No need for crutches?” The nurse asked, watching Jungkook pick you up with ease. Jimin took them from her with a thank you, “I guess not.”

“Babe, I can walk,” you tried telling him as he cradled you in his arms, “I’m heavy.”

“Shh, I’ve made guys bigger than you tap out with one punch,” Jungkook said as he carried you to the elevator with Jimin hot on your trails, “I think I’m capable of carrying my injured girlfriend to the car.”

When you got to the hotel you lived at, Jungkook had yet to let your feet touch the car even once. He helped you to bed using a pillow to rest your leg and making sure you were comfortable as he ran around looking for things you might need.

You giggled, “Kook, I’m not paralyzed, I can walk, just give me some time.”

“I know you’re strong babe but I really don’t want you over exerting yourself,” he said, “Just tell me what you want and I’ll go do it.”

“I still need the lightbulb fixed.”

“On it.”

Jungkook ran out to the kitchen, nearly crying again once he saw the mess on your perfectly polished marble floors. Once again he was reminded that you had probably been in a lot of pain and he wasn’t around. There was blood mixed with thin glass all over the floor and he went to your supply closet to get the cleaning supplies. If Jimin wasn’t around, what would have happened? Would you have forced yourself to stand and call an ambulance? Would you have called him or would you think he was too busy to answer?

The next morning Jungkook did not leave your side one bit. He called Hobi and told him he wouldn’t make it to training and spent his day doing everything he could for you.

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[sunnys-out]

Not a Fairy Tale Ending | Ali Krieger x Reader

A/N: Hello! Thanks for the kind messages while I have been away studying for the LSAT. Just also want to say that this is completely fiction and Ali would NEVER act this way. Again requests are closed...thanks for understanding.

From prompt list: 20. "And I… I still love you, even after all of this time".

TW: Emotional manipulation, anxiety/panic attack symptoms, NSFW alluded, no happy ending...well kind of

WC: 2420

My face remained calm as I looked towards the teleprompter and not at the newer pundit on the other side of the table. My knee quietly bounced under the table and did not stop until one of the other pundits leaned over and said “hey, you never get nervous…I get it but you got this like always”. I only nod as my attention does not waver from the teleprompter. 

God, I wish it was nerves…it was more like years and years of emotions physically manifesting themselves. Sadness in my chest, anger in my arms, fear in my legs, and finally yearning in my eyes.

The director behind the camera signals me to start.

“Welcome to Morning Footy here at CBS Sports, where you get all of your football news. If you are new here, My name is (y/n)/(l/n),  former two-time FIFA Women’s World Cup champion with the USWNT, and former midfielder for Arsenal and Wolfsburg”. 

I finish introducing my fellow pundits and then subtly take in a breath before I start, my knee beginning to bounce betraying the calmness in my voice as I begin.

“And today we are introducing our newest pundit for the month, fellow two-time FIFA Women’s World Cup champion, and recently NWSL champion, Ali Krieger” I could not feel my hands as I clapped as I looked over at Ali. The last time I had seen her in person was at my retirement game that we had with Ireland and I could not even remember when that was.

Her smile was cordial and genuine from what I could tell from across the table. 

“Ali, you’ve played with and against (Y/N) before, it must be nice to see a familiar face here huh?” the pundit beside me patted my shoulder, bringing me out of my slight daze.

“She's been an amazing player since the beginning and now a pundit! I tell you she swore up and down that she would do coaching and never be a pundit” she teased as the pundits looked at me as I just shrugged my shoulders.

“The way life works you know” I said sheepishly, my knee not bouncing any slower than it was a minute ago.

Ali continued, “Still I would love to go back and just partner up with her in training again like old times.”

A little laugh escaped me as my fists were clenched underneath the table

 “Sure you would,” I thought to myself.

______________________________________________________________

I had my first cap with the USWNT in the 2007 Algarve Cup in Portugal…fresh out of UNC and was signed by Wolfsburg. I hadn’t had any serious relationships and I was fully out. I think then I was the happiest I had ever been…then I met Ali Krieger. It was from a distance and by that I mean the passing glances and touches from when I would either get a ball from her or she would get the ball away from me. 

She was at Frankfurt and I was at Wolfsburg and we were eventually introduced by our teammates solely on the basis that we were two new Americans in Germany. I remember only bits and pieces from then but I remember that she looked at me with admiration as I already had a couple of caps with the USWNT and that was something she was aiming to do in the next year. I liked the attention that she gave me after that match because it was genuine.

I was called into camp for the Four Nations Tournament in 2008 and for the first time I was not considered a bubble player. I had proven myself worthy enough for a semi-permanent spot on the team and that was truly an honor. Ali also made it to the camp meaning I was no longer the baby of the team. 

We were all gathered around and Rampone started her usual speech before the practice and introduced the new debutants at camp. 

“Ali, you’ve played against (Y/N) before. It must be nice to see a familiar face here huh? You both can pair off since you’re familiar with each other” Rampone patted her shoulder after the talk. 

Ali nodded towards me, “Can I see if anyone else is available, I don’t want to bother (y/n)?” Rampone shook her head.

“She doesn’t bite I promise…right? (y/n) you don’t bite?” She says towards me as I take a drink from my water bottle.

I respond with a confused look towards her, “Uh….no?” and with that Rampone gently pushes Ali towards me.

I toss her her water bottle, “Rampone likes to stick the babies of the group together on the first day of camp, sorry about that” 

Ali sighs, “Nah it’s no problem…just want to get to know more people here…not that you’re not great or sorry… I’m being stupid”

I shake my head, “hey no I get it, I mean it took me a bit to get to know people, but if you can’t find another partner, I’ll still be here to take you so don’t worry”

Ali smiled at me and said thanks before leaving and pairing up with Wambach…I did wish that Wambach turned her down but it’s alright because Ali did come to me after Boxx rejected her partner offer a couple days after.

______________________________________________________________

I was always the backup for Ali, I didn’t mind it…camp was lonely at times and when she would be with me I felt less alone. I let myself be there for her when she was sad, lonely, angry at the world, but she never did so for me…I didn’t realize that until much much later.

“So, as former national teammates y’all were close right? How was (Y/N)? Any dirty secrets you can spill?” the pundit beside me joked as he elbowed me once again. I only, playfully, roll my eyes at him as Ali answers the question. 

I did not look at Ali as she said the following, my refusal to look at her could easily be interpreted as shyness or not being able to take praise.

“Oh (y/n), she was such a great player both on and off the pitch. She was always there for me especially when there was nowhere else to go. I was so glad to have been able to celebrate with her at her last game ever. She means a lot to so many people…(y/n) you mean a lot to me especially”

I did not feel my body at that moment as I slowly breathed in her words, my body now felt like I was in the middle of the ocean and I did not feel the bottom. 

______________________________________________________________

I don’t know why it always happened while we were with the USWNT…club was when I had some reprieve from Ali but I also missed her…it was such a double-edged sword. She was a drug and I was addicted to her.

We were called up for the 2011 World Cup in Germany. I remember Ali talking to me sharing that she was talking to this other footballer during the camps leading up to the World Cup. 

 I did my best to hide the jealousy I held when she spoke about the player with such admiration…I was just there to hold all her love for another…and then be there to hold the pain when caused by another…

I heard a small knock on the door of my hotel room, I looked up from my book and looked at the clock, 8:42 PM…

“Tobs? Don’t tell me you lost your key card again?” I call out but get no immediate answer.

A small recognizable “It’s me” sounded through the door. Tossing my book onto my bed and opening the door to only be engulfed in a hug by Ali was what I distinctly remember.

Her tears wetting my old UNC shirt as I immediately pulled her in, “Hey, Hey, hey…what’s wrong?” My hand gently rubbed her back as she continued sobbing into my chest. 

“She broke up with me” came out muffled as I felt her fist gripping at my old shirt leaving it wrinkled when she finally let go.

I did not say anything and just led her to sit at my bed while I stayed crouched in front of her.

“Ali, I'm so sorry, you really did not deserve that, honestly. Who in their right mind would think to do that while you're in a tournament… ” I say softly as I grab her hands and warming them in my own. 

Ali looked at me, tears streaming down her face, “I thought I meant a lot to her you know…like you have always been there for me and I thought she would too but she left me”.

My body moved on it own as I engulfed her in a hug and saying, “I will never let you go, you mean a lot to me and you will find someone who will also show that”

My memory becomes unclear because when I pulled away she had my face in her hands as she brought me into a kiss. I had dreamed of that moment for so long and it was happening. My thoughts at that moment were that she had chosen me…she chose me…

A quick call to Tobin to let me have the room for the night and everything seemed to be my fairy tale ending as soon as she kissed me again and saying “ (y/n) you mean a lot to me especially”

She would come to me the next morning before the Brazil/US match to say that she made a mistake and that she hopes that I can just forget about it and that we can still remain friends. I nodded and saw her walk off to eat with some other players while I elected to go back to my room saying I needed to call home…my eyes burned as the tears filled my eyes once I was out of sight.

We won that game…but I agree with the critics…it was my worst performance of my career…so much so that I was subbed off at the 70’ minute.

I got so much backlash from the media for my “attitude and lack of decorum” when I was seen kicking my seat before sitting down at the bench…I was frustrated, angry, and sad…not because of my poor play but because of how much Ali had affected me. 

She did not see the look I shot her when she turned away from me after patting me on the back after the game going , “Hey we all have bad games, don’t think about it too much”.

______________________________________________________________

I quickly turned away playing the shy card as best as I could.

“Nah, don’t say that…we were all like family on that team…I’m not special” I say with such a fakeness that it actually made me feel ill.

The director finally signaled the end of the segment to break for a short snack and conversation. Normally, I would stay at the table and eat my blueberry Costco muffin while chatting about the Premier League with my fellow pundits…but I wanted to leave immediately and hide in my shared dressing room…

I got up from my seat at the table and before I could get 10 steps away from the set, Ali called my name. Before, hearing her say my name would make my legs buckle beneath me but now it made me want to walk away from her faster. I didn't. It seemed that my feet were frozen to the ground. 

She caught up to me and grabbed me by that arm leading me away even before asking. 

“Can we talk privately?” 

I sigh, as I lead her to my shared dressing room and lock the door behind us. 

Words of encouragement flooded my head as I finally turned around and with as much confidence I could muster.

“What did you want to talk about?” I say as I cross the room and sit down at the nearest chair in the room.

Ali, wrung her hands, “I just wanted to talk…the whole thing with Ashlyn has been hard and it made me realize how much I missed you…how you used to always care for me and life has been busy so we never really talked much since you retired…I just wanted to see if we could possibly try this again?”

She got closer to me and I immediately stood up which caused her to reach out to grab my hands.

I found myself back in that hotel room, back to teary eyed Ali Krieger begging for my comfort…knowing that I’d crumble and give in…

“Stop” my voice firm as I moved my hands away from her…

I step back and tried to keep my voice from cracking as she looked at me confused,

“Ali…I can’t…I don’t want to do this again…I was never your first choice always a back up until you found someone…” She steps forward trying to interrupt me and grabbing my hands again but I move away.

“Ali…no” my voice finally breaks…

“I loved you Ali…since we first met…And I… I still love you, even after all of this time but I can’t do this anymore”. 

She remains frozen as I continue, “You can’t just come to me after your heart is shattered expecting me to be there for you…expecting me to just give in and kiss you and so you can have a temporary happily ever after…this is not a fairy tale ending Ali…I don’t want to do this again”.

I grab something in the room to give reason to me being in here and get to the door, “I’m not changing my mind…I deserve to get the same love that I gave you for years…it just will never be with you…I’ll see you back at the table”.

Ali stayed behind…she returned minutes later…we never spoke about it or to each other again…the cordial smiles and banters on the camera that month would be the last time I ever spoke to Ali Krieger…and, for a moment, after her time as a pundit ended I felt that same feeling of freedom when I left UNC…before meeting Ali…and no one outside of us two, the public, my fellow pundits, the fans were none the wiser. 

Well until I told my, now, wife about it…because she became the true fairy tale ending to my story as we kissed at the altar and that’s all that really matters now.

[sakashq]

Too Late. 𐙚 kenan yildiz x fem!oc

🪬 summary. In which Isabel has never experienced love and doesn’t know what to expect of it. Once she’s shown it, she doesn’t know what to do.

🪬 face claim. this story is based on a work i had published on wattpad but have since unpublished. qlorify IS me guys i’m not stealing💔. she was a black woman in the book so i still fully see her as one here, but imagine isa as you please.

🪬 yap! I hate my ex. but i also miss him. so this is my current feelings for him written as someone else for someone else🤗. to my favorite divas who unfortunately have to go through this weird ass break up with me! @ar4ujos @hrts4havertz @planetpedri @halfwayhearted 🩵

Isabel was not one to love. She just wanted to feel loved. She hadn’t yet met someone that was worthy of her love, past situations failing on the guy’s end. Love was such a strange concept for Isabel, the girl never being shot by one of Cupid’s arrows. Sometimes she felt like she wasn’t worthy of an arrow, watching everyone around her except her fall in love with their forever.

It wasn’t like there was something wrong with Isabel. She was beautiful—talented, too. Would do anything to make someone feel the way she wanted to feel, even if love was too strong and too terrifying for her.

She considered it ‘like-like’, more than liking someone, but not as much as loving them. Loving someone felt too scary, as she knew if she grew attached she wouldn’t be able to let go. And Isa wasn’t one to take no for an answer.

That’s why she couldn’t love. She’d get too attached and lose herself in that person. Who knows, if they were really worthy of her love, she’d destroy herself for them. It was like a lose/lose situation; if Isa loved, she’d lose herself. If she didn’t, she’d lose that person.

Well, this was all before him.

Someway somehow, Kenan had something different to him. He wasn’t like the other guys who wanted Isa. Personality wise, sure, but still. Something was off.

She didn’t know it at the time, but he was starting to develop feelings. They’d seen each other several times by this point, even going as far as texting everyday. He was doing what Isabel feared the most; falling in love.

He didn’t know it at the time, but Kenan was not falling in love with Isa. He fully thought he was, the idea of being with her being something he constantly thought about and highly considered. She was beautiful—talented, too. There was nothing he couldn’t like about her. Her flaws seemed like ghosts, being there but not seen. Maybe had he caught it he would’ve realized she was falling in love.

This scared Isa. She had never fallen in love with anyone. What made Kenan so different?

This scared Kenan. He had tried love a few times and desperately wanted it with Isabel, so why couldn’t he? There was something wrong with him, something so irrevocably wrong that he begun to hate himself for it.

He didn’t know it at the time, but he was scared of love with Isa.

She didn’t know it at the time, but she was scared of not loving Kenan.

He came to her door with flowers, as he had done once every week to convince himself that he really did love her. She answered as she always did, a bright smile on her face and her heart beating out of her chest.

“Hi,” she continued to smile, her stomach feeling like it was trying to crawl it’s way up to her heart.

“Hi,” he repeated back to her, a smile on his face. Why couldn’t he love her as she did him?

“Come in.”

He did as she said, putting the bouquet in their designated vase. “What’d you do today?” He inquired, hoping that conversation would plant a seed in him that would blossom into love for the girl.

“Nothing much. You?” She responded, sitting down at her counter. He sat next to her, their chairs facing each other.

“Bought your flowers.” They both chuckled. One with love, the other with anxiety.

“They’re beautiful, per usual. Thank you, Kenan.” She couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He was so handome, she didn’t know if she could stop loving him.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was so pretty, why couldn’t he love her?

They hung out for a while, soon moving to the couch. He had his arm around her, she had her head on his shoulder.

“Kenan,” she spoke softly.

“Hmm?” He replied, taking his eyes off the movie in front of him and looking at her.

Her eyes met his and she melted into him. “I’m scared.”

“Why?” His voice was filled with genuine concern. Why didn’t see feel safe with him? Was this his fault? What did he do wrong?

“I… I’ve never loved someone the way I love you. And it scares me.”

He tensed up and froze. What? She loved him? No, no, no, this couldn’t be. She couldn’t love him. He couldn’t even love her! How could someone afraid of love make an exception for someone who didn’t feel the same?

“I’m sorry, that was way too forward,” Isabel frowned, moving out of his arms. “I didn’t mean…”

“Hey,” he held onto her, using his hand to guide her head to look at him. “It’s okay. I feel the same way.” That was a lie. He didn’t even know what he wanted.

Her face lit up, her brown eyes shining brightly against the TV glow. “Really?”

He smiled at her seeing her excitement, wishing he could share it with her. “Of course.” He kissed her gently, their soft lips connecting. This wasn’t the first time they’d done this.

“What does this mean now?” Isa asked after a few moments.

“What?” He knew what she was asking. He just didn’t know what to say.

“I mean… you love me, I love you. What’s that mean for us?” She questioned.

He had to ask her the question now, if he didn’t he’d seem like an asshole. He already told her that he’s in love with her, might as well right? “We… Can I be your boyfriend?”

It was already set in motion; it was too late. Kenan was now stuck.

[tremordusk]

Episode 5 Theory: Agatha's Trial is not what it seems (Part 4)

They took the time to bury Sharon… so why didn’t we see Alice’s burial? 

Alice is alive because this is Lilia’s vision of Agatha’s trial that has been warped by Teen’s subconscious insecurities. 

Here’s why:

Ali Ahn is credited for 8 episodes on IMDb.

Alice showed up episode 2 and there is a total of nine episodes so that means she’s in 2-9. 

The lyrics of Alice’s mother’s song: 

“Wherever it may bend, I’ll see you at the end.” 

Is sung by Alice during her trial and could potentially be foreshadowing that Alice is waiting at the end of road or will be waiting at the end of the road (because it’s Lilia’s vision) for her coven. 

Agatha looking at the power she “stole” at the end of the trial:

Agatha’s glancing at the power she drained from Alice and after a moment it fades to dust in her hands— I don’t recall that happening in Wandavision. 

Rio’s lack of appearance

Doesn’t help that there’s a change in the music that sounds sinister as if Death is coming to collect — and Rio was laughing when Death was mentioned. 

The image above is Rio eyeing the body. This also supposedly confirms Alice's death.

If Teen is subconsciously affecting Lilia’s vision of Agatha’s trial then this is him drawing conclusions that Rio could be literal death -> which is something he wants to avoid (but why?). It’s mentioned as one of the rules of the board, “don’t talk about death”. 

Upon returning to the road Rio is nowhere to be seen especially as Teen reveals himself and tries to drown Agatha and co. 

^ could be explained that she stayed behind to reap and properly bury Alice, but I just said Alice is alive… so this either is where Lilia’s vision becomes foggy and Teen’s insecurities go completely rampant or:

The opposite that Teen is consciously aware of warping Lilia’s vision of Agatha’s trial. 

There’s been theories that he’s working with Mephisto (and Mephisto was mentioned in this show)…either he could be working with Mephisto and/or Rio could be too. 

I had two ideas about this:

He’s not fully alive due to the whole Westview incident and therefore is afraid subconsciously/consciously of Rio collecting him. 

I don’t have much evidence besides the Knight of Wands to support this: https://science.howstuffworks.com/science-vs-myth/extrasensory-perceptions/knight-of-wands.htm#:~:text=In%20its%20upright%20position%2C%20the,to%20finish%20what%20we%20start.

Upright meaning could be Alice while reversed is warning about Teen.

Lilia calls out this card when Alice steps in to save Agatha. That’s why I mention her here. 

Upright meaning: represents a surge of energy, daring adventures, and self assured confidence. It signifies the completion of tasks and the fulfillment of goals. In short urging us to finish what we start. The knight ushers in the spirit of the hero, brave and rebellious and moves towards positive changes with an open mind and free spirit. 

^ could mean the trial is only beginning or that Alice’s purpose was complete but Alice is alive so it could mean the detour or that Alice proved (will prove) herself worthy of getting to the end of the road if she continues her self growth. 

Reverse meaning: warns against arrogance, lack of self discipline and recklessness, fear and lack of enthusiasm or ambition. The Knight advises caution and encourages us to think before we act, and to avoid rushing in without considering the consequences.

^this is representing Teen and his current condition of consciously/subconsciously being hasty or allowing his own fears and ambitions cost him what he wants from the road and the coven. And supposedly if he isn’t fully alive being represented by the Knight of wands shows he’s yet to become a “real boy” (Pinocchio reference XD) 

All this warning of what IS to come because remember I said this is Lilia’s VISION of Agatha’s trial that has been WARPED by Teen. 

OR: He and Rio both work for Mephisto but both are under different orders and Teen doesn’t want Rio to out him to the coven. 

Reasons for this one? (still Lilia's Vision)

Episode 4: Rio isn’t trying to hide anything, she’s blunt and opened up about Agatha being her scar -> She's a wild card.

Rio knows Teen isn’t Agatha’s son (THIS we have confirmation)

^ who’s to say that Rio most likely knows his identity (or that he's not Agatha's son) and could tell on him at any time? 

That would ruin his current relationship with Agatha if he hasn’t already. 

Better to dispose of Agatha through a vision while Rio isn't looking ;)

Conclusion: 

To close up one more thing: Teen’s mind bringing in the Salem Seven is a normal process of the brain organizing and processing information -> dreams/visions are kooky sometimes. That would also explain Jen’s sudden increase in hostility, everyone going along with punishing Agatha, how the other’s react differently to Alice’s passing versus Sharon’s. Also, the lack of element and moon phase and no change in the aspect ratio.

Alice is alive 

Teen is avoiding Rio

Lilia is having a messed up vision of the future.

(Lilia’s vision) Agatha’s trial got hijacked by Teen’s insecurities. 

Episode 5 is Agatha’s trial but it’s Lilia’s vision of the future BUT it is warped because of Teen having been in a high stress/extreme blood loss state 

Sorry for the super long theory but I just thought of it >•<

Part 4 of 4

Previous:

[gotstabbedbyapen]

Okay so I gotta ask after reading the reply to your marriage hcs - what are the trials you envision Apollo having to go on to restore Hyacinthus to life? :0c

Funny enough, the Hyapollo resurrection trials is a major plotline in my two-years-into-the-making Hyapollo fic series :D So if I'm gonna talk about the envision/headcanons, I'll have to spill part of my WIP.

But for you, Ginger, I'll reveal just a wee bit of what I'm working on - but not too much!

In my fic series, Hyacinthus and Polyboea are the ones going through the trials to prove themselves worthy of resurrection. But Apollo will try his best aiding his lover while Artemis, plus Athena and Aphrodite, aids her huntress.

(But the resurrection trial arc is later down the line. The Spartan siblings will first have to stay in the Underworld for a couple of years and suffer for character development because Hades and Persephone need time to consider the big decision)

Anyways, Persephone - who has ulterior motive for helping them that will be explored in the series - will be the one giving Hyacinthus and Polyboea the challenges and overseeing their process.

Here are the general frame of how the trials look like:

First trial: Test of skill

Hyacinthus and Polyboea are in different sections of the Underworld (Hya in Elysium and Poly in Asphodel), so they'll have to do the first trial alone. Hyacinthus' task is covering all of his personal Blessed Isle in hyacinth flowers, while Polyboea's is to capture the souls of all the animals that she had hunted before.

While these trials look simple, Hyacinthus and Polyboea will have to do them with their BARE HANDS and zero equipment. Not only that, they will also have callbacks of their fears and mistakes in life, all will come back to bite them and crumble them in their daily breakdowns ( ˘▽˘)っ

Second trial: Lost and found

After completing their respective first tasks and gain some character development points, Hyacinthus and Polyboea will be allowed to leave Elysium/Asphodel to search for each other in the Underworld. Barefoot. On their own. With zero guidance.

And like the first trial, they're gonna have even more trauma! This time they will be reminded of the good times they once had in life and how they had lost everything when they were so close to achieving their dreams. Fun!

Third trial: Escape the Underworld

When Hyacinthus and Polyboea have found each other, they will have to find the deck where Charon's boat stops by to catch a ride leaving the Underworld. Of course, it's not gonna be an easy end for them.

Just know that somethings happened and Hyacinthus is trapped again, but he then follows the playing of Apollo's lyre to a way out of the Underworld.

[thehypnone]

Sundown: Chapter 13

WC: 1,7K

Relationship: SwissAlps

Tags: AU; Cowboy!Swiss x Barmaid!Mountain, Transfeminine Mountain, Blood, Injury, Flashbacks/Retrospection, Near Death Experience, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Fluff

“Funny! I doubt anyone would wanna put up with the little ol' me.” “You're not so bad,” Sunshine admits and pulls another chuckle out of Swiss with it. “Why, that is high praise indeed, dear sister!”

Playlist here. / Chapter 1 here or on AO3.

Read chapter 13 under the cut or on AO3.

“Swiss!” Mounty yells, throwing herself on her knees next to him, patting his cheeks and begging him to wake up. Rain and Dewdrop look at them with confusion and worry as Phantom jumps into action. “Swiss, stay with me, please, wake up!”

The medic is silent as they check his vitals. Mounty can’t take that, “Tommy, what’s wrong with him!?”

“Dunno yet,” they mumble. He’s breathing and his heart is still beating, but it’s weak. “It’s not his head, that’s just a scratch. Help me undress him.”

Mounty obliges, all but tearing Swiss’ bloodied clothes off of him. Now that she thinks about it, there was no way of knowing if at least some of all that blood was his own or not. Tears well up in her eyes, she can’t breathe; if she thought she was scared before, she’s paralyzed with fear now.

Phantom peels Swiss’ wet shirt away to reveal a deep laceration, nearly a stab wound, through half of his stomach. Mounty gasps and puts a hand against her mouth, now sobbing in earnest and shaking.

“Shit,” the medic mutters and similar expressions can be heard from Dewdrop and Rain, the latter turning to hide against the other’s neck as he holds him.

“Can you fix him?” Dewdrop asks, whispering. Mounty hears it anyway and looks up at Phantom with pleading eyes, needing to hear the answer; needing it to be a confident yes.

“That’s a lot of blood and it’s so deep, I don’t…I don't know,” they admit instead.

“Swiss! Don't be mean,” Sunshine pouts, but it’s obvious she can barely hold back her laugh.

“Sorry, sis, it's just a little silly to me!” Swiss, on the other hand, doesn’t even try to get rid of the bright grin on his face. “Why would you be planning it all now, you've never even had a boyfriend.”

“Because when it's time I want it to be perfect!” she exclaims. Her brother found her with a small journal, sketching something that turned out to be Sunshine’s dream wedding venue.

“You do realize any guy would have to pass my super secret and scary are-you-worthy-of-my-little-sister test first, right?” Swiss teases, though both of them know it’s not entirely a joke. He’ll be the last to ever let his little sister’s heart be broken by a man.

“Shut up!” the girl finally laughs fully. “You ain't gonna scare my future boyfriends, I want to have a husband before I'm eighty!”

“I absolutely will scare your future boyfriends and you might get a husband before you're eighty. If you pick the right guys, that is.”

“Idiot,” Sunshine grumbles under her breath, huffing and glancing back down at her notebook. “Don't you ever think about how you want your wedding to look like?”

“Eh, I don't know, Sunny,” Swiss sighs and sits down next to her with his legs crossed. “I don't think I'm a marriage kinda dude.”

His sister hums, “You'll change your mind when you find the right one.”

“Funny! I doubt anyone would wanna put up with the little ol' me.”

“You're not so bad,” Sunshine admits and pulls another chuckle out of Swiss with it. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and brings her closer. She squirms but giggles as he ruffles her already unruly hair.

“Why, that is high praise indeed, dear sister!” the man laughs. They’re quiet for a bit, when it dies down, both enjoying their little moment.

“But you would invite me,” Sunshine interrupts it after a while, “right?”

“What?”

“To your wedding?” she clarifies.

“I could consider it.”

“Swiss!” his sister wriggles out of his hold and playfully punches him in the chest.

“Oh, fine! Yes, I would invite you, and knowing you you'd somehow end up a bridesmaid.”

“Or a best…woman. I could be your best woman!” Sunshine cheers, clapping at her cleverness.

Swiss shakes his head but there’s so much fondness in it. “Sure, sure.” 

“‘Tis settled.” The girl nods with a face of a fancy businessman that has just made a billion dollar deal.

Swiss furrows his brows in somewhat of a challenging expression. “Only if you bring every man you wanna date for an interrogation with me beforehand.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

First thing that Swiss notices is how dry his mouth is. He breathes heavily through his nose and feels pain radiating from his middle as his chest rises. He’s slow to come to full realization of himself, each sense waking up and tuning in to his surroundings separately.

Finally, Swiss opens his eyes. They’re sticky and his vision is blurry, but he can see.

He can see his girl.

He clears his throat before rasping with his voice gravelly from unuse, “Hi, Momo.”

The vague shape of Mounty raises a hand and suddenly it’s on his cheek, slapping him across the face with all the barmaid’s might. The additional pain that blooms because of it makes him sober up in a second.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again!” Mounty scolds him; well deserved.

He's not dead, then.

“Not planning to,” he admits and lets out a chuckle that hurts him all over. “Ow…”

The next thing he knows it’s the barmaid’s lips on his own chapped ones as Mounty kisses the breath out of him. She doesn’t pull away for what feels like a small eternity and he couldn’t be more grateful. He can’t really grasp—and he doesn’t want to, anyway—the events of the previous day, but the relief of being there safe with his girl could still just about make him cry.

It indeed is a while before they really part and it’s only because they’re interrupted by Phantom accompanied by a man that looks familiar, but Swiss is sure is a stranger.

“I'm Aether, Phantom's brother,” he introduces himself and the feeling of familiarity suddenly makes sense. “The two of us patched you up. Literally, you’ve got a bunch of stitches in ya, so no moving around for now.”

“Ah, heard a lot about you,” Swiss grunts with a nod, indeed feeling the sore skin around his wound being pulled by the stitches, “And a simple thank you ain’t enough for saving me, but…well, thank you.”

“No worries,” Aether smiles kindly. He’s got the same cunning, yet kind, glint in his eyes that Phantom does and the cowboy thinks he’d like getting to know him. “I’m just glad I was here to help, you got Phantom scared shitless.”

“Yeah, you’re a fucking madman, you know that?” Phantom throws their arms up. They do look rather agitated, even though they had time to calm down since the initial incident. Apparently it’s been nearly twenty-four hours. “I have no idea how you’re alive right now, do you understand me, Swiss?”

“Sorry…” Swiss grumbles. He really does feel guilty, he was behaving like a feral animal and scared them all more than it was necessary. Not that he could’ve really helped it when Mounty was in danger, though.

“Okay, now, kid, give him a break,” Aether pats his sibling’s shoulder, “he’s got his punishment for scaring you all.”

Swiss nods and  Aether insists on leaving him and Mounty alone (after informing that the former should heal nicely provided he rests properly, and that the latter’s sprained ankle should be forgotten about in less than a week) and Phantom ultimately obliges, but not before cursing the cowboy’s madness once more. Everyone agrees that they do have a point.

Rain and Dewdrop pop in for a moment after them, bearing gifts in form of warm dinner and booze—apparently approved by Aether the doctor. They also curse Swiss’ madness before leaving, naturally.

Once they’re really alone again, Mounty heaves out a tired sigh and lays down with her head on Swiss’ chest. Neither of them falls asleep nor closes their eyes, but the minutes—or hours—they spend like that are the most restful either of them had in what feels like ages.

Mounty is the first to move again, of course. Swiss won’t admit it out loud—at least not seriously—but he’s in a lot of pain; his biggest wound isn’t the only one. She leans over him and pressed their lips together again—and the kiss gets more heated with every second; they both need the closeness.

The barmaid is gentle when she throws a leg over his lap and raises on her knees to straddle him. She descends slowly and carefully so as not to jostle the wounded man too much as she sits on the top of his thighs.

Swiss instinctively raises his arms to touch her but pauses, hanging his hands in the air between the two of them.

“In the barn, did you–” he mutters, but can’t bring himself to spit the question out fully as he stares at his hands. They're clean now, but the cowboy can't wipe the image of them all bloodied from his mind.

So much blood on his hands and yet the barmaid places her own delicate ones over his and brings them to her hips.

“I ain't seen nothing, cowboy,” Mounty tells him; calmly, softly—knowing what is going through his head, “all I know is that you saved me. You saved me, Swiss. Alright?”

He wishes it were so easy to overlook what he’s done, but for the time being it’s fine. He’s fine and so he nods and gives himself up to his girl in entirety once again.

Mounty takes her hands off of Swiss’ and reaches for his hat that’s resting on the windowsill. She puts it on her own head and the cowboy knows exactly what she’s trying to say. She brings her elegant fingers to the buttons of her shirt and starts popping them open. Swiss can't tear his eyes away from the growing bit of exposed skin as his cock begins to chub up in his pants.

“I'm gonna ride you tonight, cowboy,” Mounty whispers and finally opens her shirt to reveal her gorgeous tits, “and you're going to just lie still and take it like a champ. We don't want to pop your stitches, do we?”

“Boobies…” he sighs as he lets go of the barmaid’s hips to make grabby hands at Mounty’s chest, his mind cleared of everything but her tits now.

“Yeah, you're gonna watch ‘em bounce and forget about everything else, darling, aren't you?”

Swiss drools a little as he nods.

.

.

.

.

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edit: about the cowboy hat thing

[radioactivesweet]

Can I request beezlebub with a goddess!reader who’s just the nicest and kindest god ever. Like she’s all soft and warm. Make it very fluffy please.

Hope you'll like it^^ It's probably not that fluffy sorry <;/3

It contains spoilers for Beelzebub's backstoy btw

Beelzebub knew better than getting involved with others - he already knew how everything would end. The same vicious cycle of getting close to someone, growing to love them and eventually be the cause of their departure. Not being able to break that chain, he decided to close his heart to others, not letting anyone reach him. Then you approached him, while looking for something he couldn't recall anymore, and it made him feel like those old times when he had friends to rely on - even though they didn't last. Your fateful encounter reminded him of those days, those he spent running through Eden with Lucifer, Azazel and Samael, devoid of worries, playing and being mischievous together; or those spent with Lilith, looking for Satan and a way to avenge their friends. Those days he thought would never end but that ended up breaking his heart beyond repair. You were just as sunny and pleasant as they were - welcoming him as a friend despite his attempts at keeping you distant. No matter how hard he tried to push you away, you didn't care about the rumours surrounding him nor his rude behaviour. The same way his old friends insisted on getting to know him, without any fear or considering the consequences. Beelzebub missed that feeling of being cared about - he had found some comfort in Hades, whom he greatly admired, but it was a different sensation. After a while of you vistiing him in his lab over and over again, asking him questions about his research, being interested in him and in whatever he was doing without being too intrusive... Beelzebub actually started getting used to your presence. Always smiling to him out of all people, telling jokes he didn't laugh about to light up the mood, gifting him him items and books that made you think of him and that you thought could help him, bringing him food and much more. You were always so considerate to him, but he knew he couldn't let his guard down or you'd be his next involuntary victim. Was he willing to risk everything again? Would it be worthy? He was going to be selfish and let you get close to him - someone loving him was something he would never stop craving. Maybe, this time, things could be different and he could be happy too.

[ijustliketoreadstuff]

The weight of Kagami's emotions.

At the end of "Protection", after Kagami realizes she had made a terrible mistake by misjudging Marinette, believing Lila's lie that her friend was secretly a liar and manipulator, she breaks down, blaming herself for being so weak as to allow her own emotions get the better of her again and cloud her judgment. 

Kagami has always had a very strong reaction to discovering any mistake she made was the result of her failing to set aside her own emotions, especially considering those emotions have been used by Monarch to akumatize her, but this is expected on account of just who she is.

( In “Protection”, Lila explains Kagami has enormous pressure to be perfect and sees any emotion as a weakness)

Having lived a very isolated life where her only sole purpose was to uphold her family name, by being the perfect daughter, did eventually make Kagami realize she didn't know anything about how to socialize with other people, let alone about the relationships that surrounded the friendships everyone had. Even though Kagami might not have known how to make friends, she was determined to learn how.

(In "Ikari Gozen", Kagami tries to learn how to be friendlier to improve her social skills and make a friend, starting with Marinette)

Back in "Ikari Gozen", when Kagami decided to try and befriend Marinette during the friendship day competition, she was not aware that Marinette had misunderstood her and viewed her as a cold diabolical person who was dedicated to carrying out any secret scheme if it meant she could get Adrien to fall in love with her(more here).

Fortunately, Marinette was quick to realize her mistake and wasted no time in trying to make up for her actions, determined to accept Kagami's friendship with open arms and show her they can be friends, a moment that Kagami likely thought about later on when she became Ryuko for the first time, a time when Marinette/Ladybug and the viewers got a chance to see Kagami open up a little about her fear of failure .

(In "Ikari Gozen", Kagami was happy to see Marinette's determination to accept their new friendship as she spoke to her mother to cover for her. Marinette might not have been an image of perfection, but she proved to Kagami that she was a good person nonetheless.)

On the surface, Kagami appeared to be seemingly perfect to anyone who met her, but for her to maintain that sense of perfection was not only hard, it was nerve wracking as any sense of failure was seen as a disgrace by her family. "There are no second chances in my family", these are some of the core beliefs Kagami's family has lived by, and this we see all throughout the series affect Kagami again and again as she willingly accepted any failure that crossed her path.

(In "Ikari Gozen", Kagami did not blame Marinette for feeling disappointed in being paired with her for the friendship day competition. Instead, Kagami believed it was her own fault for not being worthy enough of such a friendship to begin with.)

(In "Ikari Gozen", Kagami's immediate response in failing to follow Ladybug's plan and stopping her akumatized mother on her own, was to quickly deem herself unworthy, someone who was not good enough to work alongside the heroes, and because of this, she did not hesitate to try and renounce the dragon miraculous.)

However, Ladybug told Kagami making mistakes are no reason to stop fighting, she always had the choice to try again, she only needed to be willing to take that chance. This was not only good advice for Kagami to hear, it was something she had taken a little more to heart that day she met Marinette for the Friendship Day competition. Ladybug's words might have been a complete contrast to what her family was taught to believe, but after watching Marinette's determination to give their new friendship a second chance, it was enough for Kagami to tell herself that maybe she could give into the thought of second chances for herself.

And yet, despite Ladybug's words of wisdom and Marinette's heartfelt attempts to be there for Kagami as a true friend, that feeling to be the perfect person, never left Kagami.

(In "Perfection", Kagami explains she has always had this overwhelming feeling to be the perfect person.)

To the Tsurugi's, nothing was more important than perfection. If they couldn't be perfect, then they were nothing. Kagami understood she knew very little about friendships, she didn't know how to act around other people, but it did not sway her from doing everything she could to try and be that perfect friend to the few she had.

 But no matter what she did, be it reach out to her friends during their time of need or make room during her busy schedule to attend group gatherings, she could never shake that fear of potentially disappointing her friends if she didn't do more to be the perfect best friend.

Unlike other moments where she saw a challenge with a victory at the end of the line, maintaining a friendship was one thing Kagami could not understand if she was doing right, because unlike every other challenge she faced, her friendships were not a battle to be won, they were bonds she had to learn how to nurture and understand, and since she didn’t know if her actions were producing the results they should, that feeling of not being good enough remained the same.

(In "Perfection", Kagami was unsure if she was doing what a friend should do, but was happy to hear Marinette tell her she did help her and she has always been a good friend.)

Of course, friends like Marinette were there to help consul her about just what it means to be a good friend, but for someone like Kagami, who still knew so little about friendships, the possibility that some friendships were toxic, had yet to cross her mind, leaving her to accept advice from someone like Lila who intended to use her against others. Sure, Kagami had her own history with Lila, but after her experience with Marinette during the friendship day competition, what reason did she have to not give a second chance to those who were willing to listen and be kind to her. If the love between friends can be multiplied rather than divided just like Marinette said, then to Kagami, Lila was just another friend who would be added to that love, never knowing that the love Lila had for her was fake.

(Kagami had a strong dislike for Lila back in "Oni-chan" for being so close to Adrien. Although Kagami did eventually view her as a friend in "Perfection", she has not yet realized that her friendship with Lila would be the first toxic relationship she experienced, something she had never experienced and is unable to see now due to having a positive view of Lila that overshadowed any possibility that she is toxic and intended to use her to hurt Marinette.)

Kagami is currently content with the friendships she has and the new friendships she made near the end of "Perfection", but to have had that chance to experience such friendships away from her family and draw wisdom from them, did eventually reveal the cruel reality of her families toxic views and the unhappiness she ignored for much of it all.

Kagami rarely talks about her own feelings if she thinks it could cause trouble for others. In "Protection" alone, Kagami chose not to tell Marinette and Adrien about the pain she felt from watching the two of them live out a romance she once felt certain she was destined to have, with Adrien(more here). And if things ever came down to talking to her mother, well, she rarely talks about her feelings to her mother, and after the events of "Ikari Gozen" and “Protection”, we can see why. Tomoe does not approve of the decisions Kagami makes when she is guided by her emotions, regardless of the good intentions her daughter had.

Back in "Perfection", Kagami was happy to see everyone be so understanding of each other and dedicated to coming together to solve a problem. She was also happy to see Adrien working so hard to make his emotions clear to better deal with them, but knowing the struggles Kagami has had in sorting and expressing her own emotions, odds are, these were all things she wished would occur more in her life, but can't. After all, emotions are cast aside and looked down upon in her family, rather than shared and understood.

Emotions are viewed as a source of great weakness to the Tsurugi family, and if Kagami refused to accept this, her mother was more than willing to attempt to force her to uphold their families ways. If Kagami still had feelings for Adrien, then Tomoe saw no reason for Kagami to just cast aside her feelings of friendship and cut the bond Marinette and Adrien shared, all so Kagami could take Adrien back.

To Tomoe, Kagami was never meant to have a say on how she felt if things were already decided for her. Anytime Kagami did attempt to express her feelings on a matter, her mother never hesitated to belittle her for it. Kagami's choice was whatever her mother's demands were, and unbeknownst to Kagami, her entire life had already been decided, from the kind of person she should be, to who she would spend the rest of her life with.

(In "Protection, Tomoe rejects Kagami's reasoning to not take Adrien back, believing that Kagami's feelings on the matters of being devoted to her friends is ridiculous and must end it if it prevents her from taking what she wants. )

When Kagami dated Adrien in the past, Tomoe and Gabriel were aware of their romance, but were not aware of the breakup they quickly faced in "Lies", until "Protection". Needless to say, they were not happy with the news. Gabriel and Tomoe decided long ago that Kagami and Adrien were never meant to have a say on the matters of who they chose to love, they had to marry each other because the two of them were supposed to be perfect for one another, a plan that obviously backfired the more Kagami and Adrien lived out their own lives.

Kagami knew Adrien loved Marinette, and for them, she was willing to keep her pain hidden so as to not cause them any hurt, but being pulled back and forth between abiding by her mothers demands and remaining a loyal friend, left her desperate to talk to a friend who was willing to listen to her woes, and the only one she could turn too to trust, who would not be involved with both Marinette and Adrien, was Lila, who sadly was quick to use Kagami's pain as an advantage to ruin Marinette (more here). To hear her mother tell her to take back Adrien was one thing, but to hear her so-called “best friend” tell her the same thing, was on a whole other level.

Near the end of "Protection", after Lila's lies about Marinette were cleared (more here), Kagami blamed herself for failing to push away the emotions she believed would only cause trouble. Despite her mistakes, Marinette and Adrien know Kagami could not be that perfect person for them, no one can, they have all made their share of mistakes every day of their lives and Kagami was no different. They appreciated Kagami's efforts to be a good friend, but they also cared for her and her well being, and what they wished most for Kagami was for her to not push away her emotions, but to instead acknowledge and learn from them.

( Marinette gave Kagami the words her own mother would never dare say herself, let alone accept, which was that emotions don't have to be a weakness. If you are willing to face your own emotions and understand what they are telling you, they can be turned into a strength.)

It was important for Kagami to know that Marinette and Adrien loved her just the way she is. Kagami may be strong willed, but she is still very innocent, she may seem perfect, but she is still very flawed just like everyone else, and just like everyone else, she didn’t have to feel ashamed for simply having emotions. The Tsurugi legacy, and Tomoe, taught Kagami to view her emotions as a weakness, but if being friends with Marinette and Adrien has taught Kagami anything, it's that sometimes it's good to listen to advice from the friends who love and cherish you.

The moment Kagami realized her friends saw no shame in her simply trying to tell them how she felt as best she could, was the moment Kagami admitted what she felt all along, but tried so hard to hide, which was that watching the love her two friends had for each other, hurt.

Marinette and Adrien might have felt compelled to apologized to Kagami for their love causing her so much pain, but Kagami knew it was not their fault, they did nothing wrong by choosing to love each other and she now knows it was not wrong to feel the way she did either, to speak out about those feeling rather than bottle them all up. But for her to simply let go of a past love and a future she thought she was meant to have, all in an instant, was not something she could easily do so long as she was constantly reminded of what she had and what could have been, she understood that she had to move on, but it had to be done with time.

To follow her mother's advice to take back Adrien, regardless of the pain it would cause her friends, was out of the question, and to look past the lies Lila told was not to be easily forgotten. Kagami may be a Tsurugi, but the things that her family were willing to do, and the emotions they were willing to sacrifice, all to obtain the victory they wanted, no longer felt right, and neither did giving up on any friendships she felt were meaningful and genuine, including Lila's, who's friendship will take Kagami time to realize was never real.