#something mafia???

[thelostpretzel]

Stelle angst im begging 😭😭😭🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️

I will bark/jk

speaking about barking-

[spacedace]

Yall someone on reddit made a list of reverse writing tropes as prompts and I'm losing my damn mind over them:

I want to write something for each and every one of these. I already have ideas for some of them holy shit I love these 🤣

[hinata-boke]

they would get along i think

[souvenir116]

Get yourself a man that can do both <3

+

[thenorwalkagent]

Mafia, but make it corporate

[blue-jos10]

‘wow dr minyard how are you so calm and patient even with the insane ones?’

‘i’ve had practice.’

[nomsfaultau]

Dark sbi where Tommy accidentally kidnaps Philza, not knowing he’s a crime lord. And he swears it was an accident! He just, you know, panicked. Tommy and Tubbo were just minding their own business slapping graffiti on a building (practicing their art skills, you see) when a cop started screeching at them, apparently not an appreciator of the fine arts. And since Mrs. Innit would KILL him if he got arrested, Tommy panics and takes a hostage, shouting at the cop not to take a step further or he’ll kill the random civilian he’s ducked behind so he can’t get shot.

Meanwhile Philza isn’t entirely paying attention, and realizes there’s suddenly a small child sheltering behind him from a cop. He gives the cop the nastiest look imaginable, which causes them to back off enough that Tommy thinks his plan is working. Once the negotiations start Philza is baffled by who would have the gall to kidnap him, and so poorly at that. Frankly it’s an umbrage to face the work of an amateur.

Well, till the abductor asks his name. “…do you not know who I am.?”

Tommy squints at the guy. His suit looks kinda fancy? Is it better or worse for him if he managed to randomly capture some Wall Street schmuck? “Hell no,” he hisses. “And I don’t care. I’m a dangerous guy alright? You don’t know what I’ll do to you.”

Philza’s laugh causes the cop to advance, wagering the situation isn’t intense. But because Tubbo’s ‘Yes And’ game is a force to be reckoned with, he casually pulls out a nerf gun (painted to look real for a prank on Ranboo) and trains it on the cop. Philza is positively delighted as he realizes just how amateur his abductors are. Oh this will be a riot to watch.

With more bluffing than Tommy knew he had in him, promising the hostage 20 bucks if he pretended to go along with it, the pure manic chaos bleeding from Tubbo’s eyes and ample gun waving, and creative use of spray paint in the eyes of the chasing cops, Tommy and Tubbo somehow manage to book it. For some reason the hostage keeps up with them instead of escaping. Huh. Can you develop Stockholm syndrome that fast? Tommy would ask, but he’s panting from sprinting. And as they live in an unjust world, hostage guy isn’t even breaking a sweat despite the three piece suit.

“You’re not going to get far on foot,” Philza murmurs. As corrupt and useless as the cops are for most things in this city, he doesn’t imagine there’d actually be that much fuss over a random man being kidnapped, but he wonders what they’ll do if spooked a little more. It’s been amusing thus far. The boys bicker, then elect to force him to drive as neither have licenses. They don’t ask him to drive to their homes, instead some secondary location. Smart, albeit Philza will definitely know both addresses within the hour.

While Tommy is busy ‘threatening’ Philza about the consequences of not getting them there, Tubbo just leans over from a bag of chips he’s munching on and offers them to Phil. Tommy rounds on him, less for showing exploitable kindness to the hostage and more for eating the Doritos that were meant to be his. Philza almost chides them for revealing each other’s names, but decides it might just be easier to hand them notes at the end of this. So far they aren’t getting a passing grade in abduction. But he has to admit it’s far more entertaining than the ‘business’ meeting he was planning to attend.

(Techno, meanwhile, hasn’t heard from Philza and is going BALLISTIC trying to figure out who kidnapped him. From the police report Phil just kinda went along with it, and looked terrified after a private exchange with the abductor, which has to mean the threat is ungodly to convince the Angel of Death to submit. Techno’s about to have a panic attack imagining the unthinkable horrors happening to his best friend, and is only holding it off by doing atrocities about it. This is the THIRD secret criminal organization he’s ripped apart in the last two hours and PHILZA ISNT HERE EITHER!?)

Philza has decided he likes his kidnappers. They’re not experienced in the slightest, but they make up for it with bravado, determination, and a certain lack of rationality that is necessary in the line of business Philza is in. Yes. They’ll do nicely if given a little guidance.

It’s half an hour before either of them notice Philza is driving aimlessly and they don’t recognize the city around them at all. “Hm? Next time I don’t recommend you give the hostage control of the vehicle. I could have immediately driven to the police station.”

Tommy frowns, almost more nervous at the implication the obvious blackmail would go unused. “…why didn’t you?”

“There’s no love lost between the cops and I. And even more importantly, you amuse me. I like your…potential.” He grins at the soft click of Tommy covertly trying the handle and finding the car doors locked. “Getting out at this speed is almost always fatal, Tommy.”

Tubbo lifts the muzzle of the fake gun towards him. “Let us go right. now.”

Philza leans over, ruffling Tubbo’s hair. The teen gulps at the glimpse of the holster Philza’s jacket was hiding, sharing a wide eyed look with Tommy. “I’m not exactly scared of foam bullets, mate.” He chuckles lowly at the tension freezing both of them. “Relax. You’ll be home by dinner. After you went through all the effort of kidnapping me to avoid trouble with your parents, I don’t intend to ruin it. I like you two; you have spunk I don’t see often. After all, it takes a lot of guts to kidnap the leader of the Syndicate.”

[fosliie]

It is time to actually explain that one vague Sam and Max au! Calling it

Take me out Noir au

first off, you have to know, this au is essentially a hypothetical fanfic Sam and Max write together with their “totally not me” ocs. I feel like they’d be the kinda guys to write self fulfilling fanficfion (they’re terrible at it)

The gist is that it is a gritty noir detective drama starring Samantha and Maxine, their fem counterparts. It’s the same vibes as a noir detective pulp fiction novel in the 1950’s, so VIOLENCE!! DRAMA!! TENSION!!!

With a disheveled detective and her ex-partner turned performer/singer (with connections to the mafia..?), they often cross paths and usually end up fighting, reminiscing longingly, or a mixture of the both

[bishy437]

im so srory

[thewrittenpodcast]

Harley: is the mafia like... a real thing

Peter: what

Harley: like is it real

Peter: when I tell you i fought a mob boss called Kingpin what did you think I meant?

Peter: a fictional character?

Harley: maybe

Peter:

Peter: harley the mafia is real

Harley: can I meet them

Peter: nO-

[avengerdaisy]

Emma Swan and Killian Jones in OUAT, 3x22 There's No Place Like Home

[non-binary-star-system]

Sweet Jesus, now the asexual tag is spammed by bots advertising supplements and other shit

I'M SO MAD

TUMBLR DO SOMETHING

[aipurjopa]

are you okay with it ending like this?

[thepiratearcinhamlet]

Dazai: let's make a new strategy called "GOODBYE" where you shoot me several times in non lethal areas, and then pretend to shoot me in the head, but use your gravity powers to slow the speed of the bullet so it stops right when it touches my skull so I can dramatically pretend to die, but I'm not actually dead. :3

Chuuya:

Dazai:

Chuuya: hell yeah

[oobbbear]

Everytime there’s a fic having either sun or moon drive I can only imagine them in one of these

[kalpeavaris]

Jessa but Tessa survived the Gala & grew up to be a hitwoman, working with J to hunt down Cyn & the Solver with Tessa freeing J from the Solvers control

I made this doodle out of boredom and now I kinda wanna do something with it.

also LEGS. Because I like the new design I had in mind for the DDs legs on the female models B) (dw they'll get clothes i'm just too lazy to draw them in rn)