#something about it feels. dishonest to the characters almost

[the-last-dillpickle]

Im struggling with how to exactly word this, but I think something that's bugged me about trek Captain/crew-member ships is how unseriously that aspect is considered. As in, the ethics and consequences are almost always under explored and under discussed. I think it's fine to write a Spirk fic where they're happily and openly married while being Captain and First Officer. But realistically? One of them would have to transfer and that would probably be whoever is lower ranked. There might be an investigation even into how the relationship came to be. There is so much power imbalance in a relationship where one of you can order the other one onto a suicide mission. I don't care if the other is CMO and can order the captain on medical leave. The relationship wouldn't be allowed so long as one is in a position of direct authority over the other. What if they get into a fight and now there's petty interpersonal drama interfering with workload assignments? What if the partner gets preferential treat, or the opposite--treated more severely in order to prove a point about the relationship not interfering with work, or just as a straight up point of controlling the other? You can't count on people to simply be professional bcuz they might not even be consciously aware that they're treating their partner any differently. It's just something I'd like to see considered more often, especially in fics--how to keep your relationship from interfering in your work, the threat of Starfleet Command finding out, and the consequences when it does.

[vaguely-concerned]

My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)

My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content. 

AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.

I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* —  up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug. 

So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were. 

Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro 

If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.

[sparklingblu]

Limerence (ft. ILLIT Minju)

I don't even know what to call this. Somewhat of a fluff but not really a fluff either. Something that just pops into my mind.

"So he asked 'Is it better to speak or die?' "

"That's the stupidest story I have ever heard"

Minju leaves no chance for you to savour that feeling that comes after quoting something particularly clever. Or she's just being a jerk as usual.

"You are just anti-romantic"

You protest though you know she will have thought of a retort before you finish.

"There's nothing romantic about this story"

"It's a love story for christ's sake"

"Where's the 'love' ?"

You slump back in your chair, defeated. Either she's too dumb to understand your point or you are just bad at telling stories. The latter's probably more likely.

The story's not an ordinary one in the first place. It involves a knight and a princess but it ends neither with a 'happily ever after' nor a bloodbath where they both rip their hearts out. There isn't even an ending.

'Is it better to speak or die?'

The last sentence on this paper of the dusty hard covered book which has turned yellow from the years it have endured. It's a mircale how it's still intact.

You mummur the question under your breath, trying to make sense of the words. But they are still nothing more than a jumbled mess in your mind.

The funny thing is, this is not your first time reading this story. You are actually too familiar with it. The setting, the characters, the way it almost seems to tell the secret you have carefully hidden; it doesn't make sense that you are still confused what this single question everything has lead up to mean. Still, you are here, no wiser than the first time you have read this tale.

In some time immemorial in an unknown kingdom lived a princess and a knight, each a good friend to another. Perhaps because of this closeness, the knight started to feel something more than companionship to the princess. Feelings that shouldn't exist given their scoial status. The princess knew it too though she ptetends to be oblivious. Nonetheless, the knight found himself unable to express his desires - torn between the fear of losing what he currently has and the turmoil of hiding himself. So one day, when he took his usual walk with the princess through the garden, he mustered up the courage to ask one single question.

"Is it better to speak or die?"

The End.

Anyone can guess at this point that the knight meant if it's better to put his feelings into words and sacrifice their friendship or die knowing that he will never have what he wants. You wish it's that simple.

You and Minju have been stuck in the same page for an hour now, still having no idea how to progress your assignment. The task was a paper on an in depth analysis on a tale of your choice. Now you regret not choosing 'The Tortoise & The Hare".

"Why do you choose this one anyway? There are like a million other better choices"

Minju says, gesturing at the endless shelves of books that surround you on all sides. Not millions but perhaps a thousand other choices you could have made in this rectangular bank of knowledge; the local library.

Somewhere distinct, you hear a bell chimes, signaling the arrival to the later hour of the night. You glance at your watch. It's already 9 pm. A cough reasonates from the counter near the entrance, emitted by none other than the librarian. The ghastly old woman seems to be signalling that we don't have much time left.

I don't have much time left.

Minju's translucent pupils are fixed on you, still waiting for your answer. You break out of the haze.

"Because it's.."

'Relatable'. The word is 'Relatable'. But she doesn't need to know that. Never.

"Interesting I guess"

You finish, not quite daring to meet her eyes. She might see the guilt of your dishonest words in them.

"Seriously? This is interesting? Next time you think something is interesting, feel free to ask my opinion"

"Not everyone have great taste"

You mean it to be a playful jab but her face distorts to something along the line of fury and hurt. And her lips part.

No. Please don't be mad.

Please.

"Jerk"

Her words put out the flames of fear threatening to rise in your chest. There. All good. She's not mad.

You let out a sigh of relief but quickly mask it as a half formed scoff. She can't know. So you waver her attention.

"Tell me then. What's your opinion on this story apart from it being hopelessly stupid"

Her lips stretch to a soft smile. You have put her back into her comfort zone.

"It's not about love like you think. It's about cowardice"

"Enlighten me"

She crosses her arms, the pose she always takes before her rosy lips spill out a waterfall of the most beautiful syllables. It also makes her look superior. The table, which is the only thing between you two seems like a brick wall now.

"The knight doesn't say 'I love you' or anything of that sort, does he? He's scared out of his wits so he decided to go for a safer alternative. That question. It literally says 'I'm a coward who can't even properly confess' "

Is she mocking you?

Probably not. She doesn't know. She will never know.

Still....

'Is it better to spek or die?'

A coward's attempt at love; complicated and imperfect. At least he has the courage to mutter those cowardly words.

"You are not wrong but can't it be that he's just scared of losing her?"

Yes. You are referring to yourself.

But she won't know.

"He already loses her after saying these words"

"You don't know that. You don't know what the pericess's answer was. She could have accepted him"

"You don't know that either"

Now she's fighting you with your own words.

"What would you have answered if you were the princess then?"

Is that an indirect confession? An attempt to ask her opinion without facing the shame that comes after rejection? You hope not.

"I don't know...I would probably ask him to speak in English"

"Not funny at all"

Your answer makes her raise her brows in disbelief as if saying - "I know I will never not be funny to you. You are too obsessed with me not to."

But that's impossible. She doesn't know.

Has she spoken these words aloud, you would happily agree with her. But that's just momentary courage. Your tongue would be tied to knots in a hearbeat if that ever happens.

That begs the question again.

'Is it better to speak or die?'

"Whatever" she says in exasperation. "I'm not lovey dovey enough for this"

"Seriously. Just tell me what you would have said"

There. You are pushing again, desperate for that answer even if it's not directed at you. You would cling to a tiny hope if it's ever a positive one.

"I don't know. Probably tell him to speak because I don't want anyone going suicidal mode because of me"

"He will still go suicidal if you reject him after he confess"

"Why are you asking me those? Were you in such a situation before?"

You surpress a chuckle that nearly slips your tongue.

What a fool you are Minju. You can't even spot the truth that's hidden in plain sight. The truth that has gone rusty and rotten because it has been locked up for so long. Still, it's not her fault.

You have hidden it so well.

She doesn't need to know.

"Yes"

You can't believe you say the word. It's as if someone has possessed you and put those words on your tongue.

"Poor you"

And just like that, it ends.

You have expected her to push you, given her curious nature. You want her to lend you the courage to say those words you have mummur countless times in your dreams. But she just leaves you hanging there like that. Cruel.

Can't blame her though.

She doesn't know.

Another cough pierces through the invisible viel that has seperated you two from the world outside.

9:25 pm.

5 minutes away until this tedious session of back and forth ends.

Why is it that you don't want it to end?

The papers in front of you are bare as they were an hour ago. The book still turned at the same page. The question that haunts you still lies there, imprinted in black.

'Is it better to speak or die?'

Neither. Because that's a stupid question just like Minju said. It's constructed to mess with your mind. You gotta stop dwelling on it.

"Anyway-"

Chimes

That sound. It can only mean one thing.

Minju pulls her phone out of her pocket, the glow of it illuminating her angelic feature as she turns it on. Not a moment sooner, her lips hold the prettiest of smiles.

And in all the wrong ways.

"Gotta go"

Her dismissal cuts through the tense air as she hurriedly put the papers back into her bag. Is she that desperate to get away from you?

"My boyfriend's waiting for me. We have a date tonight"

You are not angry. It would be wrong. Though it's only natural to envy the one who's living your fantasy. But the faults are not in our stars.

"Alright. Goodnight"

Minju's footsteps echo on the mahogany floor as she finally escapes the torturous session you have put her though, flying away to an embrace better than yours in every way.

But it's ok.

Because she doesn't know.

She gives a quick wave to the old librarian who does nothing to reciprocate the action. That hag doesn't know how lucky she is.

"Minju"

You call before the rest of her form disppears through these creaking doors. She turns on her heels, a stray strand of hair clinging like an unifinished piece of art to her forehead. The shadows cast by the moonlight does nothing to hide her.

"Yes?"

You breath.

And utter.

"Is it better to speak or die?"

___________________________________________

Took the famous question from the movie "Call me by your name". Though I alter the story. Thanks for reading this madness.

[daipeanutsaiban]

some family headcanons (in order: van zieks, baskerville, asogi, holmes) not everyone has names yet 🫣💦

i wrote more details under the cut ⬇️ this info can also be viewed under the "tgaa oc guide" in my carrd (linked in my profile).

Holmes

Mycroft: he’s 7 years older than his brother in the ACD canon, but I wanted him to be around the same age as Klint and Lady Baskerville. He and Sherlock are 7 and 15 respectively here. I wanted his hair to be dark and over his eyes so it’d match his cynical attitude that things are about to go bad at any time. Also, it’s a nice contrast to Sherlock’s lightly toasted color, so you could say he got “burnt”. Mycroft usually wears gloves, both because he dislikes touching things directly and because he has a tendency to be dishonest (a classic character design trope - though it’s probably less obvious in a game where almost every character of the upper social classes will wear gloves due to the setting). Mycroft predominantly wears green (next to yellow on the color wheel). Despite his avoidant and anxious behaviours, he has a sharp tongue, and rarely addresses people by their proper title. For someone who wants to avoid trouble, he doesn’t try really hard to fit in due to being a contrarian in that aspect... he’s a genius, but he’s an idiot too (lol).

Sherlock: The most important thing is that he’s recognizable without being dressed identically to his adult self, because he hasn’t come into his own yet (and it would just make no sense). He’s wearing rather nice clothes since the Holmes family belongs to the gentry class, but my friend suggested that his clothes would be dirty often since he’s crawling around trying to “solve cases” all the time, and I really love that idea. His mother is probably despairing about it. Sherlock takes himself very seriously at this age, but of course he says ridiculous things all the time.

Father (unnamed): I wanted the brothers to have a point of reference or inspiration for their creativity with inventions and general resourcefulness, so he’s a toymaker who specializes in automata. Mycroft learned from him for some time until he eventually surpassed him due to his inherent genius, but Sherlock lost interest quickly despite also showing talent. Their father is a friendly man whose work usually keeps busy, and he’s on good terms with his wife. I’m undecided on whether the toy shop should be connected to their house or not.

Mother (unnamed): I really wanted her to look like her youngest son without being an exact replica of him, with a simple and uncomplicated design. She’s a housewife with no other occupation officially, but she’s adept at sewing and often takes on requests from friends and neighbours. She also makes clothes for her husband’s creations, as well as for her children. Will dress up Mycroft and Sherlock in dresses on occasion, sometimes to get back at them for causing trouble and sometimes just to try out designs. Sherlock doesn’t mind it, and neither does Mycroft though he’s annoyed at the “punishment” since it’s usually his brother who ropes him into trouble. Their mother is constantly fatigued by their antics, so I feel a little bad for her (their father is more easygoing, so he doesn’t get as stressed out by their sons). Her relationship with her oldest son was complicated for some time due to his tendency to withdraw from the world, but her youngest helped her understand that his brother does love her in his own ways.

Van Zieks

I tried my best to incorporate angel motifs in their design to reflect Barok’s “fallen angel” motif later in life, hence why his and Klint’s father has white hair for example. The feather lace on their mother’s sleeves was a last minute addition; I think I’ll revisit their designs again soon. Klint wears his hair the same as he does as an adult to keep him recognizable, but I think it’d be funny if when he was very young it was parted on the side and he hated it or something.

Claes: Their father’s name. It’s Dutch and pronounced “Klaus”, but I keep pronouncing it wrong (a little bit on purpose because I like the sound of it spelled out). He has a constant poker face, but he’s actually the most affectionate parent in this entire lineup..! He’s meant to be smiling in the drawing, but a stranger wouldn’t be able to tell. I love characters whose personality subverts our expectations we’d usually have based on their appearance, so he looks and acts very seriously but would rather spend time at home with his family and hates going to work (lol). Also fond of cute, small, and typically “feminine” things, but he keeps that part of him a secret since it’d be frowned upon for a man in this era, especially within the upper class which is all about appearance (his wife is aware of it, though). Maybe that’s why he dotes on his kids so much? He’s very corny as well and has plenty of nicknames for his wife and children, which Klint hated at this age. I also wanted Claes to be the same height as Stronghart, with an imposing build and expression, so that the next authority figure in the brothers’ lives following his death would “fill” the gap he left. But that didn’t end so well, did it...

Evana: Their mother’s name. Similarly to Claes, her personality is meant to subvert her elegant appearance. She’s a complete airhead and once got lost in her own house. Evana is nonetheless stricter than her husband towards her children and puts a lot of emphasis on what is or isn’t proper. She’s in tune with trends and gossip as is expected of a lady in her position, and might come across as superficial to some, but she is very loving. When young Lady Baskerville would visit, she and her future mother-in-law would get along tremendously well (to Klint’s annoyance as he also wanted to spend time with his fiancee but couldn’t relate to most of their conversations). Evana had the most religious faith among the van Zieks, and would encourage virtue, integrity, and nobility of character above all else in her children.

Barok and Klint: Two well-behaved, beloved children. Barok is of course the little darling after all; I think Klint was probably the more rebellious one but became very serious after their parents’ death with all the responsibilities now on his shoulders. That was probably a very lonely period for Barok, until his brother cheered up again.

Baskerville

Primrose (Lady Baskerville): In flower language, her name means “I can’t live without you”. I didn't know this at the time I named her, but it fits the story very well, so thank you to my friend who taught me this! Primrose’s outlook is very unconventional for the era and especially at her young age, but she’s grown disillusioned with her lot in life as well as men following her mother’s death. I wanted her to be the only one in the family to be a redhead to reflect how she’s not fitting the mould with her assertive and brash personality, and how she feels "out of place". Her father dresses her in very impractical, often white dresses to assert his control over her as a form of “love”; to thwart her tendency to sneak out of the house without permission and participate in unladylike activities.

Her and Klint become codependent on each other following his own parents’ passing and promise to marry each other even though Lord Baskerville is set on finding his daughter a suitor with a more stable future.

The woman is her stepmother, and the others are her father and her half-brother. Since I’m working on a project involving all of them, I don’t want to reveal too much about them yet. All I can say is that it’s not a happy home, and no one in particularly close to each other (except the twins, maybe)...

Asogi

Genshin: I imagined he used to be short and got his growth spurt late (shown at around 12 years old here). Genshin looks a lot like Kazuma due to his eyes and nose, but thankfully he has a distinctive hairstyle already. I'd like to think he grows out his hair at around fifteen. The scarf's pattern is meant to evoke snake scales! Sorry for how lazily I drew Karuma here, haha. As for his personality, he has a poker face but I like to think he can be quite mischievous, though not towards his immediate family as the repercussions would be non-negligible. His brother in law, Hiroki, however, is the perfect person to prank since he's both kind and naive. I also imagine it's tradition for every (male) Asogi to dedicate their life to training, though he’d have a bamboo sword instead of Karuma at this age, probably... I wonder how Genshin discovered the hilt trick? If he was a kid or teenager, maybe he hid snacks inside (lol).

Miwa: Genshin’s older sister. She wears men’s clothes most of the time. Being their father’s legitimate child, she was going to inherit the clan despite being a woman until Genshin showed up. With Genshin having the “luck” to resemble his father, as well as being male, their father decided to make him the heir instead. Miwa resents Genshin for taking this chance from her, despite knowing deep down that he is not personally at fault. Still, she is outwardly bitter and dismissive of him, and spites his efforts to become closer to his sister. Miwa is both vain and arrogant while also following a rigid moral code. She distrusts men, most likely due to her father’s treatment, but she also respects her father greatly as a warrior. Miwa displays surprising gentleness towards children and women, namely Genshin’s girlfriend and later wife Yukari. Her abrasive personality mellows out when she becomes a mother herself, but she was unable to repair her relationship with her brother before his death. Since that’s very sad, in modern AUs I like to depict them on better terms.

Hiroki: Miwa’s husband through arranged marriage. Hails from a family of performers; his specialty is traditional dance but he’s skilled in rakugo as well. I wanted a character with a sensitive side, who is in touch with his emotions, to contrast the serious and tense atmosphere of the Asogi clan. Thanks to that side of him, Hiroki gets along well with Yukari who has a similar easygoing and “refreshing” personality. However, Hiroki’s sensitivity creates problems since Miwa is confused by a man exhibiting such behaviours (he’s the type to be moved by beautiful scenery and cry over small animals). Hiroki believes everyone can do good and that most people act from goodness, but for this reason he’s easily tricked- namely by Genshin. Despite amusing himself at his expense (since Genshin is quite clever), Genshin enjoys Hiroki’s company since he’s a very mellow person and doesn’t bring up dreadful topics like inheritance and power and such. Hiroki is surprisingly well-built under his clothes, and his weapon of choice is a naginata. I guess Syoma wanted his son-in-law to be strong..?

Syoma: The central figure in the Asogi household. Still alive during the events of TGAA. A very serious man who accords a lot of importance to honor and tradition to the point it’s stifling. Distant from his children, though Miwa claims Genshin is the favorite. The kind of father to make his children compete to “make them grow”, even though one of them is almost an adult and the other is barely a teenager. Although Genshin was conceived after his late wife’s passing, Syoma sees Genshin as a reminder of his dishonourable actions (mainly due to Genshin’s mother being a prostitute), and thus avoids him despite placing the onus of inheritance upon him. All of that results in a house Genshin doesn’t want to stay in- and contributes to his reasons to go study abroad. In his own twisted way, Syoma loves his children, but he was never meant to be a father, or at least does not know how to parent without a wife’s help (tradition and patriarchy is very much a theme for the whole clan lol). I honestly struggle to write him because the things he says can be very hurtful, especially towards his daughter-in-law. His character is a lot more comedic/nicer in modern AU (think pseudo yakuza with mother hen personality), but so is everyone’s. (it’s very sitcom-like, haha)

Thanks for reading if you made it this far!! This post could be even longer but I decided to spare everyone💗 have a bonus papazieks and children doodle for your time👼💗

[raconteur-wanpi]

Rereading Syrup village and I forgot what a huge part of Usopp's character is about being shamed and put down for the very things he's proud about. Things he has no control over, like class or who his family is. Being ostracized for these things even, and doubling down on said pride almost as a coping mechanism. And he has evey right to.

The things Kuro says about him are so cruel. And if nobody's gonna say it I will; there's really racist undertones to Kuro's words as well. And maybe it's not meant to be the actual in-universe reading, but it's easy to read into it at the very least symbolically. Like damn this guy sucks. I've said it before, but he really is the cruel, dishonest liar opposed to Usopp as the kind story-crafter. Usopp tells Kaya stories to make her feel better, Kuro tells her lies to control her. And because Kuro seems ashamed to be a failure and a pirate himself, he projects this onto Usopp, who is used to getting treated that way. Seeing him stand up for himself like this is something I miss so dearly.

"I'm only speaking the truth". What a piece of shit. He really is the wolf in sheep's clothing that the boy cried about.

[picturejasper20]

Winn aren't exactly a character that i would consider ¨deep¨ nor as interesting as other recurrent characters in A New Wish However, one aspect that find interesting about them is that they prefer having genuine friends who like them for who they are as person than because of their popularity.

We see this in the hotel episode- Winn finds Dev annoying because they know that he mainly wants them to come to his party because they are the popular kid. Dev is interested in getting attention because of the status he has from his family and it is frustrated when this doesn't work out for him.

In contrast Hazel values Winn for who they are and she isn't that interested in their popularity, at least when she comes around half of the episode. She was so occupied with the hotel that she didn't pay attention to how Jasmine and Winn wanted to just play a game with her. Winn almost leave the hotel, implying this has happened to them before. They probably have had kids faking being their friend to become popular.

This also makes me wonder if Winn and Dev used to be friends before the series but Winn got tired of how Dev was treating others and decided to not hang out with him any longer. I'm not sure if that's the case but it would be interesting if the series took that route, adding an interesting aspect to both Winn and Dev's characters.

In short, Winn acts as a bit of a foil for Dev's character and it is implied that other kids usually get interested in being their friends because they are the ¨popular kid¨, something that Winn don't like since it feels dishonest for them.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for writing erotic (/kinky) stories as a man?

(To start with I want to clarify that my content is only ever about characters that are grown adults. It's also exclusively either heterosexual or lesbian in subject - if I was only writing mlm porn I wouldn't ask this lol.)

I (29m) have always really been into erotic fiction ever since I was a teenager, I always liked it better than visual porn. These last few years, I have started reading almost exclusively stories written by women (cis and trans; preferably lighthearted or femdom stories, not that 50 Shades of Grey stuff) and taking notes. For one thing, I found female authors generally tend write erotic stories I find enganging, and I know male authors tend to have a more... distorted vision of female sexuality (more "what would male readers find sexy to see" than "what might those female characters find pleasurable"), making those stories less "authentic"?

Now that I am writing my own content I make a conscious effort to try and base my writing on things I have seen my favorite lady authors do with their texts (perspectives, descriptions, what they prioritize, how they talk about men and women, what scenarios they think are sexy etc). I even did that thing where I use a "gender guessing" software I found on the internet to see if my writing is "feminine" enough, adjusting my writing to get better scores (I know that is deeply flawed but I am grasping at straws; it seems to work at least to some degree because I also checked it with texts written by several different genuine female authors; it's at least better than trusting my own judgment, I do not want any person I personally know to proofread me on this either, and if I asked my online readers that would sortof make it moot).

My question is, however - is it dishonest (I don't claim to be a woman online, but I do not reveal my gender either)? Would you feel "betrayed" if you learned an erotic story you liked had been written by a man? And generally speaking, am I doing something I have no right doing at all, as a straight man?

What are these acronyms?

[zaceouiswriting]

Fairy Prince - Hearts of Leviathans - Ch.46

Character: Sky x male reader, Riven x male reader, Brandon x male reader, (OC) Callisto x male reader

Universe: Somewhere in Winx Club/Saga

Warnings: A bit steamy, brutality, a little gore

Author's note: This will be the last chapter for this year. I plan to write smaller things for the rest of the year and maybe the beginning of next year, but I will be back with another chapter early in January anyway.

(Callisto)

(Brandon)

Awakened, I stretch happily, my body lighter than it has been in a long time, the bright sun dancing in my eyes. I feel so warm, so much better, that for a moment, I even think I have died, finally joyfully jumping across the endless meadows of the Leviathans. But no. A glance to the side is enough to realize that I am still firmly in the world of the living. Right next to me in my bed lies a peacefully sleeping Callisto, his face even more relaxed than when awake. I haven't seen him so colorful in weeks since we returned to the Academy, but now, in the light glow of the morning sun, he looks almost divine, like one of the champions of the great Leviathans.

When I see him like this, I can't help myself. I lean towards him, grab a few strands of hair, carefully brush them away from his graceful face, and gently touch his cheek. Feeling his soft, warm skin under my fingertips, a shiver runs down my spine; my heart beats so hard that my whole face turns red while my eyes are fixed on his full, reddish lips. Should I? I mean, he's fast asleep; he'd never know, right?

While pondering whether I should steal a kiss from him or not, I'm suddenly torn from my thoughts when I feel our noses touch. My eyes widen involuntarily. Despite my head's reluctance, my heart and body seem aligned. Even though I know my first love is gone, I still fear Callisto might just be a replacement for him. It all would be easier if he would just do something my first love would never even consider; maybe then I could see the truth behind my feelings and hope that only love for Callisto would remain.

And yet, I want nothing more than to steal a kiss from him. Just one. That would be enough to sort out my feelings, at least for a while. But could I really be so selfish? Should I even do this while he's sleeping? It feels dishonest that I wouldn't do it when he's awake, but only when he's asleep. It feels wrong, like I'm doing something disgusting, maybe even perverted, just like the rumors suggest. Perhaps I'm a pervert, but only for him, his beautiful face, and those hazel eyes whose depth can make me swoon.

Suddenly, something interrupts my concentration. Did someone speak? Just as I'm about to turn my head away, I hear it again.

"Do it!" the voice commands, quiet, sleepy, and deep. Another shiver runs down my spine as I immediately recognize this stupidly attractive voice. My gaze darts back up to Callisto's eyes, only to be confronted by his hazel orbs. We are still close, but neither of us is moving away. "You coward," he murmurs agonizingly slowly, followed by his trademark grin that made me fall in love with him in the first place. I can only shake my head as I suddenly realize how easy I am. It's almost pathetic.

All my resolve dissolves as I feel his large hand at my side, tightening its grip around my waist. It's not small; I've trained my whole life, after all, but this man is just so monstrous. 

By the Leviathans, send me strength, for if you do not, I cannot promise to act rationally instead of instinctively. A pit forms in my stomach, and a feeling of longing reawakens that I haven't felt since the wild times I shared with my first love before his premature death.

As I see his grin widening, I suddenly feel a draft of air around me. Before I know it, I'm lying on my back, staring straight into those same hazel eyes, filled to the brim with lust so unbridled that I don't think even the crystal clear seas would be big enough to empty it. Callisto comes eerily close, his playful face now serious.

“Don’t make such a vulnerable face; otherwise, I can’t promise you that I can hold back any longer!”

Those huskily spoken words excite my whole body. Not only do I feel desirable, but I also wish I could let him do what he wants with me, what he seems to have always wanted.

But I need more time, maybe some new environments without him, to clear my head. When I think about it further, though, I already know that it would hurt me too much to be away from him, despite his indecent thoughts and obvious desperate attempts.

Staring into his eyes, I can see he wants an answer, and I know what he wishes to hear. If I could be honest with him, I would agree to do it here and now, even though we are in a dorm, and our noise would disturb the others, since Callisto seems big in all his measures, like the naughty teenagers we really are, even if we both pretend we aren't. In noble or royal families, you have to grow up faster because you often have to be prepared to take your parents' place if something suddenly happens to them.

“Please,” Callisto suddenly begs so fervently that it shocks me.

When I return from my thoughts, his face has changed again, and he now looks as desperate as his voice sounds. I almost feel sorry for him, but feeling sorry for him wouldn't help either of us.

I move my hand over his rock-hard abs and see his desperate look return to the previous cheeky gaze. But suddenly, he starts to blush. Slowly, he comes closer, our lips almost touching, but at the last moment, I wrap my legs around his thighs. The next second, I put my hand around his neck and saw his cheeky grin. I could only wonder what was going on in his cheeky head, but I had already pushed him before he could say or do anything. His eyes widen in incomprehension. And before he could say anything, I had already switched our positions and was now straddling him. I'm sitting on top of him, with my knees next to his waist, staring down at him, grinning triumphantly.

Callisto's stunned look and slightly open mouth soon give way to his trademark grin, but what really throws me off is when he suddenly flexes his biceps, which almost makes my mouth water. But he doesn't stop there: He moves his arms up and then puts his hands behind his head, wiggling a little, only to lie back down again, grinning even wider.

I tilt my head to the side, trying to figure out what he's talking about since he hasn't said anything. He must have noticed because his eyes soften slightly, but his smug grin doesn't change.

“If you want to be on top, you can,” he murmurs, quite pleased with himself, “but I hope you are prepared to ride for a long time because I have stamina for days!”

Although his husky, deep voice turns me on, I don't understand what he's trying to say, but I have to admit that our situation is starting to feel strange.

"Fuck no!" another voice suddenly shouts at us. I almost fall off the bed, but Callisto catches me just in time. With my hands on those muscular pecs, my head snaps to the side, and I'm confronted with an angry Vinok. "Isn't it enough that you two make everyone suffer by flirting like idiots, and now you want us to watch you fuck right in front of our eyes?"

Even more confused than before, I feel dizzy. When I turn back to Callisto to ask him about Vinok's unfounded assumptions, all I see are his crimson cheeks and his averted gaze. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. I hadn't even thought about our almost intimate relationship anymore because I thought I had already put an end to it by turning us around! But when I look down at us, I find that Callisto is not only wearing hardly anything—just his underwear—but it is bulging to the extreme.

I slowly raise my gaze again and meet Callisto's mischievous eyes. We stare at each other for a moment. But it is only when his mischievous, shining eyes take on an apologetic expression that I really comprehend what is happening. Immediately, I feel my pulse increase, and my hands sweat profusely, only for Callisto to moan. Fucking moan! It quickly reminds me that my hands are still on his pectoral muscles, and I may have clenched them due to shock.

More screams and panicked whispers come from across the room, but as Daniel and Vinok make their way out, I realize that if I let them go, Callisto will take full advantage of the empty space and somehow get me to fool around with him.

I squeal at the mere thought of Callisto's hard body hovering over mine while he... no, don't even think about it! Feeling myself getting aroused, my eyes widen in horror; I quickly jump up from his body and try to get away from him, only to fall. Just a second later, I find myself hanging humiliated from the edge of the bed, with my foot caught in the blanket.

"Help," I say sheepishly, feeling like an idiot. My question for help is met with silence. I can't see anyone, but then, out of nowhere, laughter breaks out, just a little at first, until I can swear I hear at least two of those three idiots rolling on the floor. "Very mature," I continue to mutter, fed up with all three of them.

A large hand finally helps me back onto the bed and gently frees my foot, but even in Callisto's sharp features, I recognize a broad smile and a sincere desire to join in the laughter. Although I show an annoyed face, I'm inwardly grateful that he at least has the decency to keep his mouth shut.

Callisto even makes room for me by shuffling to the edge of the bed, giving me a chance to calm down, but I just want to fall into a hole and never come out. I hide my face behind my hands; I still can't believe this happened before others, even if they are our friends. It still feels so wrong.

As I lie there hiding, something pokes into my side; I try to find it, but as my fingertips touch its soft surface, my brows furrow in utter confusion. My heart skips a beat as I grab it and pull it out from under me.

"Who made this?" My voice shakes as I speak, as I desperately try to keep my composure. However, when no one answers me, I turn to Callisto, who I assume made it. "Did you make this little guy?" Until this moment, I really tried to hold back my emotions, but I couldn't anymore. Tears pool in the corners of my eyes. Although I somehow can still hold back tears, it all goes to shit as I take another look at the little animal.

Unable to hold back my gratitude any longer, I lunge forward, throw my arms around his neck, and nestle my head into his neck.

"Thank you!" I almost shout in his ear, but I don't care; I can't hold back anymore. Before I know it, my tears are flowing; I'm just too happy. "You must really like me for that; after all, almost nobody knows the Bogglewiks." After mentioning this silly name, I have to pause so as not to giggle because of it. "I know their name sounds stupid, but that's what the animals were like; they could barely survive, but they died out a long time ago, and despite it, somehow you managed to make an almost perfect replica!" As I cry like a baby, Callisto has to turn around to hold me upright and gently push me onto his lap. "You have no idea how much this means to me!"

I can only stare at the little animal, unable to believe he went through so much trouble to make me feel better. As I feel the stuffed animal up and down, my body suddenly freezes. My screams stop. I release Callisto's neck from my arms and stand up from his lap without saying another word. The cold floor sends a shiver up my feet. Silently, I grab some clothes and leave the room. At least I hear Daniel calling after me, but I don't care. I quickly wash myself in the communal shower and put on my new clothes, but when I return to my room, the others still sit around.

"What are you doing?" I ask, quite annoyed. "Are you coming or not?" The others seem stunned, but why shouldn't they? I've slept far too much over the last few weeks, and this sudden change would confuse everyone.

"What's wrong?" Daniel asks from the side. I turn my gaze to him; I see uncertainty in his eyes. But before I answer, I turn back to Callisto.

"I don't know where you got the gems for the plushie's eyes, but I need to talk to someone about this, so get up, shower, and then come to the landing pad!" I grab my backpack and quickly make my way back to the door. "And bring someone who can fly a hawk; even though I hate flying like that, we need to be quick!"

Without giving them a chance to say a single word, I storm out and run through the halls, hoping not to run into anyone who could ruin my mood again. But that's life. Something always has to happen.

Out of nowhere, a hand appears in the corner of my eye. Not wanting to be caught by anyone, I spin around and summon a stone spear. As soon as I stop, I plant my right foot heavily on the ground, encasing it in stone, and thrust the spear forward with all my strength. The other person narrowly avoids being impaled by the sharp point of my weapon by taking a step back.

To my shock, the teacher from my last visit is standing right before me. His long black hair makes him look almost like an undead monster from old stories, but his eyes are more like those of a snake; maybe he's both.

“What do you want?” I hiss and don’t put down my weapon because I don’t trust this man.

The man scoffs at me. He probably thinks I'm a moody child, but I don't really care. Why should I? This man creeps me out.

“You shouldn’t be running through the halls,” he finally says with a crooked grin and a fearless look, as if he knows I won’t use my weapon.

He was right about that, at least. I immediately make all the stones disappear again and walk away.

Just one step. I can only take one step before I feel a heavy hand on my back and am pushed into the other hallway from which the professor came, where he hurls me against a wall. Before the man can even say anything, I catch a glimpse of a tattoo on the base of his arm, one that an intriguing magical web should cover but, for some reason, has broken free of its bonds. It seemingly confirms my suspicions about the jewels in the plushie, but I'm still not completely sure.

"Another try?" I ask, my voice clearly mocking. "I wonder what your Grand Master will say when even a high-ranking one like you is killed by a child!"

But suddenly, I feel a sharp pain in my side. When I look down, I see blood seeping out, staining my clothes. But the man obviously doesn't like my reaction because he presses my head harder against the stone wall.

"Cry for me, little boy, beg for your parents as you die!" he whispers, clearly enjoying the moment of power he has. What a pathetic little man.

However, I must admit that the blade hurts a lot more than it should since metal is part of my magic. Yet it fails me miserably as if there is something that can keep my magic in check.

His head is suddenly much closer to me, next to mine, perhaps to see my facial reactions, but I have none. A strong, minty smell overwhelms my nostrils, but only briefly. And in the next moment, he is gone. I crumble against the wall, wondering what happened, only to hear a familiar voice not too far away.

"You damned old bastard!" He screams, angrier than I ever thought I'd hear him. "How dare you touch him, huh? Did you think you'd get away with touching one of your students?“

Between his words, all I hear is the cracking of bones—a sound I know all too well. He must have left his weapon in his dorm room. However, I can't really concentrate on it because there's still a damn blade stuck in my stomach.

Breathing heavily, I move my hand behind my back, grab the knife's handle, and pull it out. For a second, I see nothing but stars and wake up on the floor, but the weapon is still in my deadly grip. Awake and strengthened by sheer will, I look at the dagger, only to become absolutely certain that the teacher is just another of the black hand.

“Hey, hey, be careful!” Brandon’s worried voice, right after he has beaten the professor to a pulp, is almost disturbing. But his concern grows when he realizes what really happened. “I’m going to fucking kill him!” he screams, watching me bleed.

I can barely manage to grab his hand just in time before he can rush back to the teacher. I smile weakly at him and shake my head gently. 

"You already killed him." 

I nod towards the man on the ground. Brandon's head snaps in the same direction. The teacher's head is completely shattered, and his brain oozes out the side. Not even one of the Leviathans can do anything for him now.

While Brandon stands there in shock, I use the moment to close my wound with a layer of stone.

"Help me up," I tell him, but he doesn't react. "Brandon!" I say louder, but still no reaction. "Pull yourself together!" I finally scream.

In an instant, Brandon is looking at me blankly, just like the day I took my first life. He holds up my other hand, takes it, and helps me up. I know that there is only one way to help him. Carefully, I lead him to the body and tell him to twist his right arm. But he hesitates, so I try to do it myself, only to exaggerate the pain I feel and groan loudly. He quickly pulls me back up and does it himself instead, just as I wanted. Once the teacher's wrist is exposed, we can see the tattoo even more clearly.

"He was an assassin sent by the Black Hand to right their worst mistake," I explain.

“What's that?” Brandon asks, his eyes a little clearer now.

Putting a hand on his cheek, I gift him another smile. "Killing me," I whisper softly. "They tried for a long time, but this time, without you, they would have finally gotten what they always wanted."

Finally, some life returns to his eyes, but he lowers his head and plays with my hand. It will take a while for him to regain his bearings. But we don't have time right now.

"Now help me to the landing pad; I still have more to do."

I see that he wishes to say something, but I cover his mouth with my other hand, which I only then realize is covered in some of my blood. 

"Sorry, I couldn't clean my hand before," I apologize quickly. But Brandon seems unaffected; he even licks the blood off his lips. He doesn't say another word but simply leads me outside without letting go of my hand, which is starting to feel warm. But at some point, he suddenly lifts me up. Has he seen my pain getting worse? I thought I hid it pretty well. I can't help but blush against his chest as he carries me out.

[Masterlist]

[arcane-ish]

Imagine .... CaitVi aaaaaaangst

So Arcane loves all these parallels and mirrorings, right? And lots of people think that the Caitlyn and Vi kiss happened as a way from Caitlyn to assure Vi but it was also a bit dishonest because the underlying promise is a lie, because Caitlyn turns around on Vi right after.

Now, I'm a card carrying member of "Caitlyn has way more sexual and romantic experience than Vi".

Imagine... what if Caitlyn and Vi having sex for the first time happened as Vi seducing Caitlyn to get into Piltover for some mission. Like to save Jinx or retrieve something super important and absolutely vital.

Could you picture how fucking heartbreaking and angsty that would be? Like structurally that would almost feel as punishment for Cait.

And on a character level, it would fuck Vi up so much. To do something that she always wanted to do, but she's doing it for the wrong reasons. And it's Vi who is very straight shootery and not super into being deceptive with the people she cares about. And now imagine if it was really her first time period (and that after such a long time of being hurt in prison) and not just her first time with Cait.

I think that would be peak angst, without even anybody having to die for it and it would absolutely ruin both of them emotionally. Like Caitlyn rejected Vi with the accusation that she was wrong about Vi, but I feel like that was a kind of bullshit thing to say in that situation.

Now imagine a scenario where that was actually true and Caitlyn genuinely got the wool pulled over her head by Vi. I genuinely think that would fuck her up a lot too rather than just make her vengeful for being wrong.

[quotergirl19]

A little commentary on fighting with friends in Bridgerton.

Season 2:

Eloise finds out that her friend Penelope is Whistledown; she’s heartbroken and furious and confronts her. Penelope tearfully admits the truth and her reasoning, confessing to Eloise that she has been hiding this secret but she was also sincerely trying to protect her. Eloise is not ready to forgive her, it’s too big a revelation; she’s disgusted, angry and unforgiving. Penelope reacts badly to Eloise’s cruelty by accusing her of being jealous of her accomplishment because Lady Whistledown is an undeniable success and Penelope has actually done something remarkable while Eloise is all talk. In response, Eloise ends their friendship. Months pass and it still pains them both visibly. They both clearly feel the loss and struggle with it.

Season 3:

Cressida publicly declares herself to be Whistledown. Eloise reminds her that Whistledown wrote about her ruinously (even though Eloise secretly knows that Cressida is only impersonating Whistledown and trying to claim what is actually Penelope’s life’s work as the anonymous columnist). Cressida has no excuse or rationale, she instead tries to dismiss what happened to Eloise and entice her to write the column with her. Eloise has no interest in associating with someone so dishonest and cruel, who would claim someone else’s hard work and accomplishments. She is disgusted, angry and unforgiving. Cressida nastily responds almost exactly the way Penelope did, accusing Eloise of being jealous of the success of Whistledown because all Eloise does is talk. This time Eloise confesses that she is jealous of Whistledown because she is an undeniable success. The difference here is that Cressida hasn’t actually accomplished anything so Eloise pretends to congratulate her on her hard earned success and ends their soured and short lived friendship. Cressida regrets turning on Eloise. Eloise recognizes that Cressida has some redeeming qualities but has no interest in rekindling that fickle friendship.

I genuinely appreciate these extremely similar situations and conversations and the way they highlight the differences between these two friendships. One is long standing and developed over time. The hurt over losing a close relationship is felt deeply by both Eloise and Penelope but because there’s so many years of love and trust between them, that this one big secret is enough to leave a scar but ultimately not enough to erase the bond between them. That is what makes forgiveness possible.

But the friendship between Eloise and Cressida is new. It lacks the sort of trust needed to withstand distrust and dishonesty. So when Cressida claims responsibility for Whistledown’s slander, and Eloise knows Cressida is lying to her, we as viewers know there’s little to no chance for reconciliation between them. The sad part is that Cressida is genuinely in need of a true and loyal friend but her home life and experiences have taught her that she needs to look out for herself. Cressida’s lack of honesty and openness hinders any potential growth and trust between her and Eloise so her deceitful actions and hurtful words end up being the final nail in the coffin of what had potential to be a very important relationship for Cressida specifically. Eloise has a supportive family and a genuine friendship with someone who has grown as a person and who wants to do better. Understandably, Eloise has no desire to rekindle that friendship, making their rift more likely to never mend.

It’s good storytelling and well executed example of true friendship versus fair weather friendships or friendships of convenience. All together I really appreciated Cressida’s character development this season and hope she does end up with her own HEA, even if we never see it.

[ludwigoat909]

(Alittle disclaimer that what I'm about to say is absolutely not directed towards anyone in particular, it is just something I saw a lot of times)

This is something I've noticed a while ago but never really dared to talk about this. But while the milgram fandom has been known to have a lot of cases where they would woobify characters or victimize them to make them more sympathetic. There's also this other side of the spectrum that I don't see anyone mentioned where people feel the need to have the characters be completely and utterly terrible people simply because a part of us tend to find these more palatable.

If this sounds like this is about Muu. It is not. Ironically, the reason Muu had so much hate is because of the way she herself was very much victimized at first, only to have "betrayed" her audience once her crying had stopped and became more comfortable to be who she truly was.

An exemple would be how there's this theory that the reason Yuno got into milgram wasn't because of abortion but because killed a man. While I don't have anything against the theory itself... I can't help but think that origins and reasons for why a lot of people choose to believe it is.... very strange. To me, it seems the reason this theory feels more like a cope out for people who simply hate the idea that her crime is just simply abortion. As if abortion is what makes her character less intresting. And I just find it so weird.

Another exemple of this is Mikoto. Mikoto went from this extremely popular character with so many theories to just "oh yeah he exist" and it sounds like I'm exagerating considering how he is still one of the most beloved characters in the series with an absurd amount of fanart but... when it comes to analysis it's just... good lord

It seemed like the moment Mikoto was confirmed to be a system, the interest for him amongst theorists just dropped dead. Back then, when we weren't too sure if he had DID or not, Mikoto was extremely popular character amongst theorists because of how cryptic his case and character were. Yet when he got confirmed to be a system, people completely gave up on him and really just chose to boil down his character to "shitty did murder trope" and never pushed far beyound (in fact, even before milgram confirmed it, people were still very against the theory that he was in fact a system, never mind how a lot of the people that pushed the theory were also system themselves). They ended up his case "boring" because he turned out to be just ""the good one"" who is being wrongfully blamed and then claimed that the only way he would be interesting is to ngl this is genuinely frustrating to watch. Especially when these are the same people who say they prefer John way more yet fail to even make analysis on him as well. It's almost like Mikoto had the opposite situation as Muu's were while Muu became more hated for not being as innocent as she was protrayed in her mv, in Mikoto's case case he became less loved because he turned out to be a lot more sympathetic then he was in his mv.

This is coming from someone who actually do believe Mikoto was the true murderer here and not John. Mikoto has never been "more boring". A lot of previous analysis of his character from t1 are still very much applicable to this day. He is still the man broken by Japanese collectivism. He is still very much the guy who feel like he needs to fit in to the point of breaking. Still the guy who was very dishonest about his true feelings. What y'all can't stand is that he is also not that oh so much more "intresting" silly funny guy who goes "hehe what do you mean a murderer you're so cruel warden-kun you wouldn't want too piss me off do you cause I could beat you with this bat! Not that I would actually do anything like that lololol *threatnening glare*", and never has been.

[hazardouslesbian]

another interesting piece to the dichotomy between Clark and Lex is they both have their issues with letting people get close to them due to their own respective traumas, but it manifests in different, almost opposite ways, which imo ends up being their downfall

Lex obviously has this air of “I’m a Luthor, I’m secretive, I won’t let anyone close to me” that he’s developed from a combination of lionel’s fucked up parenting, and a life of keeping secrets to protect the people he cares about, but actually looking at his actions the idea that he’s secretive and closed off or whatever starts to feel like a facade. In practice (especially with Clark) Lex is so desperate for connection that he lets his walls down almost every chance he gets. Like if I recall correctly in the show he really doesn’t shy away from talking about his childhood trauma whenever Clark asks. Plus Lex is pretty honest throughout the show, especially to Clark. There’s several moments from the start where other characters THINK Lex is lying, but in the beginning it’s almost always Lex being scapegoated.

And I think the idea that he’s a closed off person that’s hard to reach isn’t just something he tries to present to the world, I think it’s also a lie lex tells himself to convince himself he has any sense of power over who he chooses to let in, because in a community where he IS constantly the scapegoat choosing to let people in and connect to them opens him up too way too much opportunity for disappointment and heart break, so he has to convince himself he’s able to stay disconnected and keep people at arm’s length, but in reality I really don’t think he’s that capable of keeping people out? Like if someone genuinely wants to connect with him I don’t think he has the power to stop himself from letting that happen at LEAST in the early seasons of the show

Clark on the other hand feels like the kind of guy who should be an open book, and in a lot of ways he is! he’s earnest and kind and can make friends with just about anybody, including the widely distrusted Lex Luthor, but he’s got a secret that he’s been told his whole life he has to guard at all costs for the sake of his survival. And his fears of ending up on a lab table tortured and experimented on are reasonable so you can’t really fault him for being dishonest with everyone. But Clark clearly doesn’t want to be this secretive aloof guy, he’s lonely and displaced, the sole survivor of a world he never knew. He’s similarly desperate to be this trustworthy, friendly guy, with deep relationships with the people in his life. So he tries to compromise and instead lets people in just enough for it to feel devastating when they put together that he’s undeniably lying to them.

It nearly ruins every one of Clark’s relationships at some point in the show, but ultimately his other relationships survive it, his relationship with Lex can’t

the real reason they’re “doomed by the narrative” is Lex is so desperate to connect with Clark, and Clark is incapable of ever fully letting that happen, even though he wanted to!! and in the same way Lex tries to be okay with their “incomplete” relationship because he wants to be understanding and doesn’t want to ruin his relationship with Clark but in the end he can’t do it either!!

[kibblemode]

I know like nothing about any of ur ocs or works so, could you sum up telling me about whichever you want so I can ask more questions in person? Please feel free to make the ask as long as possible!

stares autistically...YAYU..galaxy quest is my Main ocverse bc its almost 11 yrs old now and its just been a default in my mind since i was 11-12ish but capitalist creepshow is a close 2nd with how fleshed out it is...my oc carrd has some good info character wise but its lacking on worldbuilding + plot stuff bc im insanely character focused and suck at that shit badly LOL, also the plot/episode page and number of seasons on gq's page is outdated bc i recently like completely redid the plot and havent updated it yet 😭 anyway u can have existing gq lore. sorry if this is weirdly worded and hard to understand im at work rn 😢 i also have a couple scattered tumblr posts on random important bits of lore/character stuff ill get them later. oh ya and toyhouse if u want to see whos who or whatever. a couple side characters havent been redesigned yet but ill get there eventually lol

gq is like. a 90s-2000s CN styled adult cartoon (i always sum it up as if futurama and chowder were 1 cartoon. BIG BIG influences from chowder especially with the voice acting my goddd )..its Planned to have 5 seasons, it used to be 4 but with the new plot i had to add one to fit it in without Completely starting over on every single season lol, also perhaps 1 semi canon movie and a small side series for a bunch of silly mostly canon fillers i couldnt fit into the show itself.

so like i said im bad at having a consistent plot, also words are hard for me so ur getting a Very shitty bastardized version of what i Do have.

Basically it takes place mostly on 2 planets, earth and alkaliba(i hate this name i made it up when i was like 15ish, i just cant think of something better rn😔) its initially in 2009, but actually this is like a Different 2009. bc basically there was a mass extinction like several hundred million years ago and everything just kinda started over but like only Slightly different (sounds stupid af out loud but just trust me ok) alkaliba had existed for a Very long time the next galaxy over and it just so happens that the planet is dying and all their natural resources are fucked. so melody (lenarrs mom) set up an agreement with alkaliba that they could borror resources from earth. (melody is thousands of years old, but thats a secret lol) also melody was from another dimension Also a very powerful sorcerer and kept most of her spells and whatnot in her journal But its written in her native dimensions language which nobody on earth (except lenarr) can read. anyway she used her magic to connect the 2 planets using a series of portals called stargates (again. subject to change, also they connect to a Lot of other planets besides just earth but whatever) that allowed ppl to easily travel between the 2. bc of this alkaliba Kinda "colonized" (FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD) earth? and that was normal for a few thousand years.

anyway for s1 jump ahead to where canon starts (2009) tix is sent to earth by meredith (queen of alkaliba, tix is her son but u dont know that until later in s1 when they actually Go to alkaliba) to pretty much track lenarr down and convince him to use his powers he inherented from melody (lenarr is not aware of this at all) to pretty much save alkaliba (BIG SPOILER. THIS IS SOMEWHAT DISHONEST. sure lenarr could Choose to save alkaliba but that would result in the destruction of earth or it could be vice versa. it cant be both BUT youll see) so he find lenarr Completely by coincidence after lenarr offers to help him bc tix has never seen snow or ice in his life and is having Difficulty. anyway this is ridiculous that i havent figured this out after 10+ years but tix does Something to convince lenarr to go with him, bc obviously lenarr would be very hesitant to. a bunch of shit happens u know the drill 1st episode shit to establish everything. i could type out a full episode 1 plot but i don't particularly want to rn😢

s2-3 is just mostly playing toys w my characters and tix teaching lenarr how to use his powers (s1 finale is when lenarr starts to Get it but u know) also s2 is noodles villain arc and s3 has eugene in it which is so fun bc i really really like noodle and eugene is funny. OH AND THE MAIN VILLAINS. hydro is the Main antagonist but he has 5 other idek what to call them. henchmen????? that either work for him (griff, dimentia, derric) Or are loyal to him bc he practically saved their life (grem and pixie, also dimentia a little? its complicated) and while Yes hydro IS a villain and he IS evil, hes actually just trying to save earth bc in his mind alkaliba is actually like the typical alien invasion thing u see in movies (not exactly whats happening but it Is possible u could see it that way) he just goes abt it in the weirdest most fucked up way possible. also BIG plotpoint worth mentioning, grem and tix were dating for at least 3000+ years before tix left him for his (now deceased) wife, which grem is Extremely bitter abt. so hes obviously loyal to hydro bc hydro helped him escape his abusive father BUT hes also doing it for himself to get back at tix. (important note tix Was the asshole in that situation 100%, grem is actually right to be upset a little but probably not That much) anyway once lenarr tix and zach(forgot to mention zach is tixs best friend who tix brings along bc hes smart and good at strategizing, also bc tix is GAYYYYYY) get to alkaliba finally it is literally impossible to conceal the fact that tix is a prince there. and bc lenarr doesnt know the Real reason why hes there he doesnt think much of it, in fact he finds it weird that tix wouldnt tell him that.

jumping allll the way to s4 when the Actual shit goes down. this is where shit gets less in depth bc its Extremely new..this is when lenarr learns that hes being used to basically doom earth, u know. his home planet. (considering having either hydro or grem tell him, not in a nice way either) obviously he gets really upset abt this, Especially bc its been at least a couple years since canon started and zach and tix are basically like family to him at this point. he probably runs off idk. i need to think abt it more bc i JUST made this up but im considering recycling an OLDD concept from like early highschool gq where lenarr gets to visit melody in her home dimension. also forgot to mention. melody and lenarrs older brother ruben both committed suicide when lenarr was younger. melody only did it to go back to her home dimension, but ruben did it bc he got rlly depressed after melody died ÷(

anyway lenarr gets to see melody, its very sweet ÷) he talks to her abt his problem abd she gives him some kinda cryptic advice bc Plot. this changes lenarr basically, at this point hes mastered melodys spellbook and Now he can create his own spells or whatever. SO. he comes up with a way to make it so NEITHER planet gets destroyed somehow. this works bc lenarr is actually like twice as powrful as melody at his full potential. after this the main villains would most likely have their redemption arcs somehow i havent thought up What exactly happens yet. and for s5 its basically just me wrapping things up and playing with my toys freely...theres still active plot happening thats very relevant to the story obviously but its a liiiiitle less high stakes and thats all i got in regards to the main plot bc if i sat here and typed a detailed explanation of my fun fillers id be here for years

SOME GENERAL TRIVIA FUN FACTS DEVELOPMENT SHIT 4 FUNSIES TOO.

originally gq was Not supposed to be a cartoon nor was it an ocverse. it was a fucking spm fan spinoff i made up bc i was autistic af and 12. grem was my first ever oc that was Not a fursona and he was actually terrible like as a person. i mean hes kinda terrible now but not as bad

griffs name was changed a few years after i made him. it used to be falcon (STUPID AF BUT I WAS 12. REMEMBER THIS.) also i thought itd be funny for his name to be griff bc youd think its short for griffon but no its short for grifford. also texs and tiabia names were changed too. tiabis name was janette and she was actually originally an adult but i thought itd be better if she was 7

like 99.999% of my original designs and concept art + silly little comics of my villains bc it was just them when it was still a mario thing is lost media forever bc my mom accidentally threw it all away when we moved to a new house i miss it every dayyyy id do Anything to see it again..... the Only original stuff i have is from highschool and i fucking hate my artstyle then so its sad af...its just lenarrs finalized design (which actually barely changed since then) and MAYBE if i looked hard enough thru my old computers i could find zachs original design too? idk i dont feel like looking

speaking of the spm thing. dimentia was supposed to be dimentios little sister which is why shes named that (original i know) but i decided to take the name a different direction after it became its own thing

grem went through the most design changes by a huge margin, but imo derrics few redesigns were the most insane and drastic. pixie went through One change and it got reversed a couple years later LOL

some Stupid reasons behind design changes were 1. hydro used to have 4 heads, hence the dumbass wordplay on "hydra" but i got so fucking fed up with drawing them every time + i kept forgetting to so i just made him a regular dragon. and 2. griff has his mask bc i literally just kept getting mad trying to draw his face right. thats literally it. thats the only reason.

fun fact noodle was probably my least favorite oc before i redesigned him. i hated him SO FUCKING MUCH especiallyafter i came up with his villain arc. now hes my favorite toy and i lovie

HUGE props to my bff @/killer12345blog. hes literally my cowriter and theres a couple characters of his in the main canon that play a HUGE part (eugene, daffodil, and louise) also eugene was actually a joke character and i HATED HIM (AS PART OF THE BIT) but i randomly got really attached to him now hes the villain for s3😇

gq was actually RECENTLY renamed. it used to be H.I.D.E. dont ask me what it means or what it stands for idfkkkkk i thought itd come to me eventually but it didnt so i changed it bc w/o a meaning it was just dumb af

tix was originally very very small. like around pixies size. also gq was still a video game for a bit but it was like its own Thing by then. tix was intended to be the tutorial character kinda like tippi

also im going to go ahead and say this LMAO. the original alkaliban designs were Heavily inspired by homestuck bc thats what i liked back then. ive tried soooo hard to make it not as obvious but i feel like itll always be so so obvious 😭

im actually kinda considering having gq be 3d animated instead of 2d, stylistically if that were the case itd look kinda like. idk. do u remember that moomins cartoon they made a few years ago. like that. but i seriously doubt ill end up making it 3d anyway

i fucking hate musicals usually but my GOD are there a couple showtunes i want in there. jfc. i have a dedicated yt playlist of songs i want in gq Or relate heavily to certain characters/events. hi. speaking of i like to think gq would have a very 80s cartoon soundtrack like the one in labyrinth or something similar

tix and zach were originally Much younger. tix was like 19 or 20 and zach was 17 iirc? i changed that bc 1. dumb and 2. i wanted tix and zach to be in love i didnt quite like the age gap it was a little iffy

the origin of lenarrs name is kinda silly. i was having trouble coming up w a fitting name and one day after school we drove past a sign for lennar homes or whatever the companys called and i went AHAAAAAAAH!☝️🤑

i think noodle was originally brazillian, idr why that changed..also tex was japanese iirc

tix is like Billions of years old probably. its intentionally left unclear and vague but also IDEFK.

im probably forgetting LOADS of important shit but whatever....u get the idea + ive been typing for like 2 hours in between work shit

[adamnablelittledevil]

hellooo I just saw your post about you agreeing more with vampire chronicles book opinions before you read them vs now, and because I’m messy: what kind of opinions/takes do you mean? care to spill the tea (if you feel like it)?👀👀😂

Hey. 😅 So keep in mind that I have read 8/13 TVC books + Pandora and am currently on Blackwood Farm. Opinions might change later on. This also will contain some spoilers...

So, there are many takes that I disagree with or even agree, but still believe things are way more layered so reducing it to a one-line sentence feels almost dishonest. But here are some:

P.S. I'm not trying to be mean, but whoever disagrees, please just ignore or block me if you want. I don't want this to become a discussion or debate. My only intention here is to answer a mutual, that's all.

I don't think Armand is this stereotyped one-dimensional classical villain. Sure, he's done awful things, but it's important to know the context. He was kidnapped, taken from his family, raped, traumatized to the point he had amnesia and prayed for God to let him die, had a weird grooming relationship with Marius, was attacked, kidnapped by the Roman Coven, saw many of his friends from Marius's palazzo (some were only 7) be killed in front of him, had their ashes thrown at him, was tortured, starved, then they threw his best friend for him to eat and at that point he was so dehumanized that he had dissociated and couldn't fully process what was going and who that was, was fully brainwashed... No wonder Armand was such a dark character, he's been brutalized and brainwashed from such an early age, then turned at 17 as an attempt to save his life (because someone got rejected and tried to murder him), is stuck in puberty which is already a hard time for people who live in privilege and comfort, now imagine how that is for someone that has been traumatized left and right for centuries, even when he was still human? And he's also highly autistic and BPD-coded, so to have all of that exacerbated once you become a vampire, it is no surprise he became a monster at some point (and I haven't even listed everything because this is already long enough). Still, I think he is Anne's most complex character so far and the one with most reasons to explain his actions. And yet he also has the best development, the journey he goes through on TVA is amazing. I've never seen a character grow that much.

Lestat doesn't "fall in love with everybody". Look, I get it's annoying to have Anne making him make out or have sex with basically everyone he meets, but that's just another proof of how he's terrified of being alone. He was abused by his family, even Gabrielle that was the best out of them, neglected him. Loneliness has always been his biggest fear even as a human. And he also isn't the best at separating romantic, platonic and familial love. That's why I believe he has so many "lovers". I get it's exhausting to have that happening on so many books, we could've had three cases and that would've been clear enough... But even with this satured trope, to say he "falls in love with everyone" feels reductive. It's way bigger than that.

That's also how I mostly feel about him and Gabrielle, I don't see it as something romantic or even that sexy, for me it was mostly his need to have someone. At that time, he was completely alone and then he turned Gabrielle and that was the only company he had. Same goes to her. And the whole time there were moments they referred to each other as mother and son... They basically tried to be each other's lover, parent/child, friend, ally etc and it obviously didn't work because you can't have one person playing all the roles in your life.

This isn't exactly something I disagree with, but I think it might be possible that Lestat behaves as a rape victim trying to recreate his trauma sometimes and that maybe another reason for him to 'offer' his body so much in insecurity. Because he was kept illiterate for so long, I'm not sure he considers his personality compelling enough to attract people.

That said, I don't see Nicki and Louis as the only people he had/has romantic feelings for either.

I don't find Gabrielle to be such a bad mother, or at least I don't consider it a bad thing, because it seems like she never wanted to be one to begin with. She did what she could with the reality she was forced into.

And Lestat also had his needs as a child because he didn't ask to be born... I see them both as victims of frustrating circumstances.

Marius is only happy when people agree with him, whenever someone shows a sign of personality he gets irritated, so I don't see this great, noble person he is supposed to be at all. And I'm yet to see him do something truly relevant. Maharet and Mekare are way more relevant, for example. So far he's unnecessary to me.

I don't think Armand is using the Spell Gift as much as people do. I don't even believe he's trying to seduce people without his powers. He is just that handsome and characters are obsessed with him. On TVA, his spirit leaves his body for a moment and he is literally surprised that he is actually as pretty as people say because he genuinely never understood their reactions to him? That's not a seductive person lmao, c'mon. He is just existing most of the time and people drool over Armand even when he's not around and just in their thoughts. The closest he does is masking his autism.

Lestat is the protagonist, yes, but mostly because he is the recurring narrator while others only appear once. On TVL, Part V and Part VII of the book are more about Armand and Marius (respectively) than Lestat, TQOTD had a bunch of characters for us to consider Lestat (the only) lead and for me Akasha and the twins played way bigger roles than him, Memnoch is mostly the devil having a monologue and Lestat just listening, on TVA, Merrick and Blood and Gold he doesn't have a POV and barely/doesn't appear at all, as far as I've been he doesn't have a POV on IWTV and Blackwood Farm either... Before reading the books I expected everything was mostly about him, but it's way more balanced than I'd anticipated.

Lestat wanting Gabrielle to present herself more feminine is more about still wanting her to look like his mother and gender envy than bigotry. But I don't have a problem with other gender nonconforming people seeing it that way either, because we're not a monolith. If some took it that way, it's completely valid and people need to respect that.

However, that's a shit situation for both sides and I wish Anne had fixed it. So far she hasn't and from what I've heard nothing changes in future books either.

The Devil's Minion chapter was really cool and that's not exactly disagreement, but I had the impression that would've stuck and it... didn't. I knew they break up at some point, but Armand barely talking about Daniel on TVA and the few times he did making the whole thing feel so doomed surprised me? Someone told me their endgame was more ambiguous than something crystal clear and now I'm confused?

I don't consider Dora an actual love interest for Lestat. I wouldn't even classify Gretchen as that and he actually slept with her.

David was awful on Merrick, yes, but on TTOBT he was basically the only one Lestat could count on?

Louis was a dick on that book. But so was Lestat so idk.

I don't get the whole "Lestat would never hurt Louis" thing because Lestat did attack other people he loves and burned Louis's house once? He raped a woman? He turned a close friend into a vampire against his will? I've read more than half of TVC and find it possible that he could explode and take it out on Louis tbh.

Nothing sexy about Akasha and Lestat, really. But she was cool for the role she played on the book.

Again, not exactly disagreement, but there are way other cool characters, relationships of all kinds and even interesting topics regarding Louis, Lestat, Armand and Daniel than just loustat and armandiel. It would be nice to see more posts about them too sometimes.

I don't see these books as a love story at all.

I don't even consider Anne Rice to be good at writing romantic moments, actually. When there's indeed good stuff, it feels more of a happy accident than anything.

The iconic backstage kiss was so random? That thing is way overrated. Loustat peaked at that quote of having eternity to nurture their love on TVL.

Anne is throwing some polyamorous subtext for (at least) two books now.

I find it funny when people are okay with a lot of problematic stuff and are like "they're all monsters, get over it!", but draw the line on polyamory, really?

I had to divide these in two because of character limit. :p

I actually find it way more realistic and interesting to have vampires who are above gender, sexuality, laws, religion, every social norm, including monogamy.

I also consider it totally possible for people who live forever to actually fall in love with more than individual as you get to know and understand them better, as well as going through key moments of their lives together? I believe that at some point the things would get too blurry and fluid.

I also don't think exclusivity = superiority, so.

And so far Anne doesn't seem to prioritize anything. When characters list their loved ones, the order of the names change. They refer to people they were/are romantically involved as lover, companion, friend. She plays with the idea of a love that can't be classified and transcends definition sometimes. I never got the impression that it was always character A and B, be that any pairing. And every time she tried to do something more traditional it wasn't as compelling tbh. That's why I believe that her best stuff in that area are happy accidents, when she's just following the vibes rather than trying to check a box. And the best comes from lines than actual kisses.

Drinking each other's blood isn't always something 'sexual'? They do it to heal, gain power, even as a greeting sometimes? It really depends on the situation.

Even with everything, there are stuff that Armand did out of his own choice, not because "Marius taught him", but based on his own values. When he was human or a fresh vampire, he was way more rebellious and he eventually got more submissive because of his traumas or as a way to survive.

Morals do matter in this world. Anne's vampires do forgive easier than on the show, sometimes way too easy, but some do hold grudges. The only difference is that their idea of morals is not the same of humans. They're vampires, so it involves the particularities of their supernatural existence.

Some stuff are crystal clear and Anne confirms it with every single word, but many things are open to interpretation. Sometimes people's own opinions get passed around as the ultimate truth, when they're guess is as good as everybody else's. And that's the same for this post, really. Nobody's opinion is superior and that includes my own. They're different, but equally valid and I believe the fandom would benefit from adopting this approach instead of immediately dismissing an opposite take.

Nobody needs to read those books because God knows they can be problematic (and no, you don't need stuff like plantation owners on book about vampires), but if you want to know the lore, you should read the books. Reading wikia pages and asking mutuals don't give you the full picture. Take me as an example, now that I'm reading them myself, my thoughts diverge a lot of the times. Sometimes, even posting photos of pages plural doesn't provide you enough context. You need to see it for yourself. You can still stick to the show, since it exists as its own thing. But if want to know the lore, you need to get all the information and form your very own conclusions.

/lh/nm

[utilitycaster]

One of my least favorite types of post in fandom, particularly for actual play, is the "why isn't everyone dropping everything to focus on my blorbo's mental state," and I wanted to talk about why.

The most obvious surface reason, of course, is that unless you are watching something with a very clear single protagonist and that is the character you're talking about, and the story is explicitly about people helping them heal, this is simply not a thing that's likely to happen in most works. It doesn't mean you can't want it; but that want is best explored and expressed through transformative works rather than trying to get the "let's watch blorbo carefully work through every trauma they have" blood from of the narrative stone. (I'll admit my own interest in such works is very limited, but that shouldn't stop you.)

But even when that is the stated purpose, that's just not the sort of story I'm drawn to. It feels too artificial and dishonest to the human experience, and leaves a strange taste in my mouth. I think it derives from a set of intertwined fantasies this represents, and they are admittedly a very seductive pair of lies.

One is the idea that there will come a time, amid seemingly insurmountable external challenges, when everything can pause and during that magical lull all will be resolved. It's the "this weekend I'll get my life together" fallacy. The truth is that this stoppage almost never happens, and in the cases when it does it is rarely a gentle hold, but rather a screeching involuntary halt. The fix is often not enough to truly fix, but rather just enough to get one moving again before being thrust back into the unceasing world. It's magical thinking, of a magic that even fantasy worlds (perhaps especially heroic fantasy worlds, where all the stakes are impossibly heightened) cannot provide: that the world will stop turning long enough for a complete fix, and that a complete fix is even possible or attainable, and that it will not require any ongoing work to maintain once the world has started up again.

The second is the fantasy of being understood without effort: that this quiet period will come without you needing to speak up and say "stop". That your walls will be broken with no contribution from within; that someone else will do all the work and love you despite that. And why not? As anyone who has dealt with any sort of mental health issue knows, it is exhausting. Wouldn't it be nice if someone else just...knew exactly where to place the leverage to pop you out of that rut as you sat unmoving?

It would be! It's also not going to happen.

I am, despite what I say, not against projecting on characters. That's what characters are for. I'm just not particularly interested in seeing characters who get what I sometimes want and know pretty much no one can have. I want to watch characters experience what I might, and succeed, but I do need the struggle to be as real for them as it is for me. I want the character to be in the same hole and know how to get out because they've been here before, not turn to me and shrug and say "honestly, everything went great for me - you're on your own, pal" and levitate out.

There's much more to it too - I love character dynamics, and so the idea of everyone else fading to flat grayscale tools to help one character is uniquely unappetizing. I also find a lot of the discussions surrounding this sort of premise believe that this magical fixing also occurs without anyone ever saying anything even remotely challenging to the person being helped. It really is just essentially reduced to a flavorless hand waving a magic wand over the character in question, which makes for a very short and bad story.

There are other fantasies too, all tied up in this, and all both understandable to have and tedious to watch, most notably the ideas that suffering is purification and that the blorbo who needs help is eternally blameless and never complicit in either their own pain and their actions towards others; and that give and take (and on a meta level, focus within a story) are easily and meaningfully quantifiable and are required to be kept in some cosmic balance (usually one rather heavily tilted towards a fan's favorite character) for a story to be good.

The question ultimately needs to not be "when will everything stop and center and therapize and fix the character I most relate to" but rather "will this character's traumas and issues and past be explored in any meaningful way during the narrative, or, if they are not, will the fact that they are not explored carry its own weight." Ironically, the stop/fix/magic wand wave away fantasy does away with any possibility of meaningful exploration, and that's really why I can't fucking stand it.

[revclver-jesus]

How do you feel when people say that Takaya is just using Jin and Chidori?

{{ You mean like that one hot take that drove me up the wall? lmao I am going to give you the full blown dissertation here i go-- let's call this essay

The Most Commonly Misunderstood Thing About Takaya's Character: or Why Team Strega Is Not Literally A Cult lol

When people say that Takaya is just 'using" Jin and Chidori, what they're implying in most contexts is that Takaya is incapable of forming attachments and his motivations are fairly shallow-- essentially Takaya is not a complex villain and should be dismissed as purely selfishly motivated and malicious. He's a "simple" villain.

Now I realize....... that I might be biased as that girly that's written him on a dedicated blog for multiple years now, but purely objectively speaking, removing all my own headcanons, using only the information provided to use in canon? It's just thoroughly false, tbh!

First I'll go into why he isn't purely selfishly motivated and then I'll explain his relationship with Strega because I can prove the motivation with just Reload as an example, let alone the novel. Takaya, in Reload especially but even in the original game, I would argue has a full blown character arc off screen. At the start of the game he does appear to be more selfish, he has no real motivation and is just living out the last of his life doing underhanded assassin work-- nothing's really challenging him. But as the story progresses, Takaya begins to express a meaningful ideology-- he develops a greater concern for the world around him and expresses a full blown motivation. He says, in protest to the choices of the protagonist in one of his social events, and I quote: " Choosing to turn a blind eye towards your own power, to the grief of the fallen, to the unchosen and the unloved." Its clear he is not talking about himself here, as he mentions grief for the fallen. Takaya is expressing that he feels grief for something-- he is sorry about something that has happened to someone else, and it bothers him enough to nearly scream about it.

I think, often times, people dismiss what Takaya says as insincere almost automatically without any indication that he doesn't mean the words he's saying besides perhaps being vain and dishonest in other scenes, but these social event scenes are clearly meant to be interpreted as him being unusually earnest. By the end, Takaya is not just trying to keep his own power, but, as he says " this is not just my will but the will of all people. " which all culminates into Takaya's final character arc moment, where, in his final boss, he says the line " I will throw away my pride! " before using an evoker instead of trying to summon without help, implying that he is finally sacrificing his ego to better fight for what he believes in. If he was fighting for a positive cause, this would be a heroic moment, but it is still concrete evidence that his motivation is no longer meant to be seen as purely selfish. He is now fighting for " the will of all people ". He cares about the " the fallen, the unchosen and the unloved."

So what about Jin and Chidori? To put it simply, Takaya is not some puppet master that breaks them down emotionally and treats them like tools. They're his friends, and he happens to have a leader's personality, so they follow him, much like the protagonist he is designed to mirror. Its a lot easier to guess how he feels about them when you don't assume the worst and look at all his canon interactions with them. And even easier to tell if you can manage to read any english translated pages of their strega-focused novel ( which we can assume is fairly canon since Reload references it with the child turned into a large shadow ).

In the novel, as far as I've seen ( its only partially translated ), team Strega is extremely informal and lighthearted around each other. There is no sign that they fear Takaya, as they are willing to tease each other and disagree. The opening scenes of the book quickly establish a sort of family-like dynamic, with Takaya having an older brother-like role. He teases Chidori ( in a bit of heavy handed foreshadowing ) that she will understand why people fall in love when she's older-- of which Chidori sort of says gross and "as if" and rolls her eyes at him. Jin, being the narrator perspective, shows no sign of intimidation when around Takaya, something that would bleed through into their every interaction-- especially the establishing scene introducing the cast-- if that were the case. I feel, even if the novel is not canon, the writer would be instructed not to write Takaya so friendly if he was meant to be a heartless manipulator regardless.

In the game, the most manipulative thing he ever does to either is when Chidori is pulled back into Strega. Takaya tells her that there is nowhere else she can go and reminds her that death is not to be feared in a way that sounds like he's repeated this mantra often enough he knows she can guess it. This seems spooky, but the tension is immediately alleviated by the flippant and kind of sassy way that Chidori assures them she remembers Takaya's advice. This is not how you talk to your cult leader and this is not a cult, this is something closer to a gang or a club-- at worst, a coven of witches ( considering their team name is "witch" in italian.). They simply have an in-group and out-group sort of mentality, a shared since of identity, and a shared view of the world to go with it, which is to be expected when you've been openly shunned and mocked by the average person ( as seen at the start of the first scene with Shinji ) But this scene, when compared to all their mundane and lighthearted interactions, doesn't imply anything more severe than the leader of your misfit club reminding you why we don't hang out with the normies. You're "one of us" and a level of loyalty and commitment is expected when you otherwise always act as a group.

Yes, he is very cold and indifferent to the sight of his team members getting hurt-- or hurting themselves, for that matter, but the reason for this is obvious. In Reload, Takaya plainly expresses that he is feeling attachment ( for the protag at the moment ) but is avoiding his own capability for attachment intentionally. That scene was meant to establish that he can feel attachment, that he isn't as cold as he pretends to be, to encourage the viewer to see him with a little more nuance. What causes a man to force himself to be colder than he really is? What can cause an avoidance toward emotional attachment? Maybe...... watching 100 children die after being orphaned and stolen away to live underground for years? lmao

And so, when Takaya watches Chidori do self harm or literally sacrifice her life, for one-- he's not going to parent her, they don't have that kind of relationship, and he would be a hypocrite if he tried to encourage her not to do what she wants to to her dying body-- and two, of course he doesn't mind if Chidori dies, he's expecting that to happen anyways. His one greatest gift is his uncanny ability to accept death and the death of others. Mourning you openly is not how he expresses emotion. Especially when he sincerely believes death is a blessing. Its just the way she died that he's a little annoyed by. ( And why shouldn't he be honestly-- the girl threw her life away on the first nice guy she met at the mall just to make his work harder from his perspective, lmao ) BUT. In the comic version of that scene, Takaya does let himself be cut across the chest purely because he hesitated to shoot when he saw Chidori's spirit protecting Junpei. So... that might imply something.

However, if there is any greater evidence against any who claim that Takaya does not care about Jin especially... Takaya's final words, in multiple renditions of the story including the movies and Reload, are to say that he wishes Jin was with him as he died. If there is anyone that Takaya cared for, at least one single character in the entire game, it is above all Jin Shirato.

In the movies its very obvious, with the sad closeup shot of him looking beaten and washed up as he wishes Jin could be here to see it all end with him. I have the scene as an icon ! Look at how emotional the framing is !

So yeah, that's how I feel, it just drives me crazy when people remember Takaya as just Some Asshole lmao-- he IS an asshole! But he's no Chairman Ikutsuki, he has a lot of complexity to him beyond being the guy who killed Shinji, and not everything he does is black and white. There is highly plausible reason to believe Takaya cared for both of them in his own way, but the ever loyal, best friend, Jin Shirato, especially so. }}