#someone let me out i hate it here

[nebulein]

I have been so severely writer's blocked and I'd like to break out of it. Absolutely zero promises but if any of y'all got some prompts, send them my way? 🥺🙏💕

[i-might-be-a-simp]

Whenever I think about all the fucked up things in the world I can't help but say shit like "Cale would never" "Cale would have hated this" "Cale would have blown up an island after hearing that"🙏😞 our glorious king cale pls end corruption and bring world peace and once you do that i promise you can own 70% of the worlds riches i beg you just make the earth squeaky clean by killing every scumbag- WHY ARE YOU TURNING AWAY NO COME BACK DONT IGNORE ME YOU CANT WALK AWAY NOOOO I PROMISE YOU'LL GET YOUR SLACKER LIFE AFTER THIS ...REAL AND TRUE 100% NO SCAM

[lilliemadoka]

catch u on the flipside 😘✨

(cleaned up sketch under the cut because i kinda liked it a lot. please ignore the shoes i couldn't be bothered to fix them. it's all sketchy and weird just PLEASE b nice 2 me...)

[skullswithmarigolds]

Kusuo: *eating sweets, smiling*

Aren: Baby boy, baby! ♡

Kusuke: *grinning*

Aren: *hard glaring* Evil.

[statementlou]

https://www.tumblr.com/louisupdates/754934426217152513/goodbye-faith-in-the-future-world-tour-272024?source=share

did he or did he not lose fans then?

I will answer this because this anon actually brings a concrete question to the table rather than just "hurhur but you're a larrie??" (tell me you can't actually refute any of our points…). Anyway this post shows the decrease in Louis instagram followers between the screenshots taken directly after the release of Faith in the Future in Nov '22, when he changed his bio to promote that album and the tour tickets, and now, when he changed it again to mention the current release. But I'm putting that response under a cut because I'm tired of the actual POINT of all this nonsense getting lost in a sea of made up things people insist are important:

There is no rational argument you can make to say that Louis has less fans now than he did 2, 4, or 6 years ago. You don't need a spreadsheet of details you need to USE YOUR EYES! He has gone from filling theaters to filling arenas and stadiums. His second album made a higher chart position than his first album. His festival has doubled in size EVERY year of its existence. And for that matter: his insta post engagement numbers remain about the same (despite the fact that older posts should have way MORE likes due to having been there longer, even aside from follower counts.) SO WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT HIS INSTA FOLLOWER NUMBER???? Serious question: what does the word "fans" mean if these things aren't what matters? ALL of this quibbling about what he should do to make things better and people can't even see that THINGS AREN'T BAD.

Anyway to address the specific question- (con't......)

NO- HE DID NOT LOSE FANS. HE LOST SOME INSTA FOLLOWERS. THESE ARE NOT THE SAME THING. As I said above, literally what does it mean to lose fans if that number change coincides with him having higher sales, more audience members, and higher engagement than ever before? Whatever he lost ISN'T FANS. I wouldn't be surprised if a significant factor was something like a bot purge, but also yes: I'm sure a lot of casuals followed him around the time of his big album release and later unfollowed him. That's extremely normal because that's how casual engagement works, and why the definition of fan really matters. Louis and his team understand this and have referenced it repeatedly, talking about how lucky he is to have *us* specifically, to have the kind of dedicated fanbase he has, to have the KIND of fans he does who will allow him to do what HE wants. @dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram named the issue of depth vs breadth with regard to fans a long time ago, and pointed out why having DEPTH is so much more important. It's like this- artists who are on top 40 radio have more numbers on things like insta follows, and for a time on sales and tickets. But those aren't FANS- they're people with a casual interest. And as soon as that person isn't being forced in their ears 10x a day, those people lose interest and stop supporting them, stop buying stuff and unfollow, and those artists end up doing the 'opener on the jingle ball' circuit rather than their own tours. One Direction as a whole, and Louis maybe most of all or near to at this point, have something MUCH MORE VALUABLE than that- DEPTH FANS. Louis has fans who will support him even if he takes years to release music, or stops parading around with a pretend girlfriend to stay in the headlines at least once a month, or completely changes his image and genre, and that is UNHEARD OF. It's ASTONISHING and worth SO MUCH MORE. And they get that! THAT is why he always bragging about us, why industry people he works with are always so agog about us, why he will do anything for US- not for randos. He is also growing his breadth- and it's OBVIOUSLY WORKING whatever his follower counts are, but that is always going to be secondary to doing things for THE FANDOM because that is his sustainable business model. That is what keeps him onstage and reaching number one. And not coincidentally, the things they do are also working to grow that- much more valuable- commodity. So the fact that that's exactly what these chuckleheads complain about- that he does things that are just fandom facing or serving rather than everything being aimed at recruiting casual fans- does nothing but betray how completely they, unlike Louis and his team, misunderstand the actual drivers of his (actual, existing, happening) success. Luckily for Louis, he and his team rely on their own data harvesting (they do a LOT of it) and growth metrics (they're off the charts) rather than the smug assumptions of random (mostly quite new to this) fans and the few bitter people leading the complaining about everything Louis does.

[chimerahyperfix]

You’re looking for something— no, someone, too, aren’t you?

(I can’t comprehend how you understand what’s going on, with your lifeless shell. Craft as you are.)

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[inamagicalhallucination]

my toxic trait is i get really annoyed when ppl make atsushi and akutagawa's relationship about dazai

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

Video by shesasolarbeing on Insta cause apparently unlike TikTok they don't like putting watermarks for their creators. Go check them out!

Friend sent me this and my first thought was @kianamaiart 's magical girl series. Or rather, AIKA REAL??!?1?!1

[confusedmothboy]

HI THIS IS A LONG RANT ABOUT A VERY OBVIOUS REALIZATION I CAME TO EARLIER TONIGHT DISCLAIMER I AM NOT BY ANY MEANS A JAGERIST AND THIS MIGHT NOT MAKE ANY SENSE

maybe im reading into things too much or maybe this is just common knowledge and im just really slow to find out about it but i just realized that there is some sick and twisted manipulation going on between eren and floch. like. eren really saw the one person who lost everything so abruptly and violently and was like "im gonna convince him the only way to keep his current living friends and family alive is to join my mass murder supervillian genocide plan" and holy shit i just put two and two together

OF COURSE floch's a jagerist he has arguably been through more than (most) of the main cast!!!! and eren's cause promises that he'll never have to suffer that again!!!! its so fucking obvious to me now ohhghhh my godd

OF COURSE he's gonna side with a violent plan he has no lived experience of conflict being solved with diplomacy none of these characters really have but its about how violently his worldview was flipped on its head

i cant remember if he was garrison or mp but either way the fucking whiplash of relatively cozy interior life to literally his first mission HE COMES BACK THE SOLE SURVIVOR OF (that side of the shinganshina wall) YEAH THATD FUCK SOMEONE UP

he is a bonkers good representation of radicalization as a result of trauma and i will not shut up about him

tldr: eren knew what he was doing targeting floch (and floch's probably pretty fragile mental state) into joining his genocide club

[spotsupstuff]

Cap's got a new voice claim! feat. a tiny bit of Sparrows n her's unchanged vc because 1. it's cute to hear them together and 2. I snorted. The vibes are so different

[songs: So Familiar by Jean Castel and Driving Myself Home by Rose Betts]

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[bunnihearted]

regardless of the "learn how to be alone" dravel, being lonely actually is really bad for your mental health and can be very painful :p

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[xythlia]

I kinda wanna get something off my chest before the new year that's been weighing on me heavily, and it's that some people on here are not the "spread kindness and community uwu" sweethearts they want you to believe they are.

some people on here will act absolutely repugnant when anonymous is on or when they think they can make a billion empty side blogs because the moderation for harassment here sucks ass. case in point I've personally been getting harassed since fucking august by a specific person but I keep it to myself because I know nobody gives a fuck about it and doesn't wanna see that bs all over their dash. I just block the ips and delete the asks every time but it's infuriating seeing that person pop up so many other peoples asses as this "oh I'm so kind and love everyone in my fandoms" type when I know in my guts that's such a bold faced lie.

if you genuinely think it's okay to hide behind a grey pic or a sock puppet account to send suicide bait, bully, mock, and degrade someone else you need to take a hard look at who you really are inside in the new year because you have some type of rot in you im not joking. idk it's been becoming a heavy burden dealing with this silently especially because it's about to be 2024 and part of me genuinely thinks this incredibly unwell person will continue the behavior which is seriously insane, it's hands down nuts to fixate on someone for almost five months and I can't even begin to tell you how it just wears you down consistently getting msgs like that especially when you haven't done anything to warrant that treatment. cardi b said I got condos in this bitch head well im beyond condos I'm the sole fucking real estate developer in this bitches head and I do not enjoy it.

I try so hard to be a truly positive person. I try hard to mind my own damn business and not bother anyone. I try very very hard to make my blog a nice space. I'd like to continue doing that but christ some people really make it so incredibly difficult and that contributes to the overall shitty behavior in fandoms.

anyways it's nice to let that out, for once instead of sitting here with it and feeling those little wriggles of dread every time I open the app.

if you've engaged in behavior like that towards anyone this past year though I highly recommend making a resolution of self reflection and learning some basic compassion, or at the very least taking stock of yourself and considering getting some irl help because idk what to say other than it is, in fact, not normal to treat people like that and it does not make you a good person.

[sysig]

Spoiling for a fight, spoiled for choice (Patreon)