#someone irreplaceable
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kavehater · 3 months ago
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Every time my mum throws yet another hissy fit although I can understand she’s being stupid and I let her yap to her hearts content cause she can never quit complaining, for some reason I’m so mildly bothered that the irritation makes me angry at every other thing.
For example : the fact that so and so hasn’t responded in 51 years, fifty more people haven’t even given so much as a single darn to ask why I haven’t replied yet or use those two brain cells of theirs currently fighting for third place to realise huh, maybe she’s going through a hard time ! Maybe you know like a decent fucking human being I could leave her a little note saying she can answer whenever she feels fit enough to do so but that I care for her, and the fact that I am irate by how care and compassion is offered on a silver platter to so many yet for me I have to beg and do the most absurd and pathetic displays to achieve even the slightest speck of kindness, and if I DONT do all of that in the one in a trillion possibility of me receiving kindness for free it makes me so disgusted and afraid because why the fuck would you do that, in fact why the fuck would anyone even do that even if I gave them my whole heart and soul anyways. All I am is less than dirt by way of reason given how I have been treated, and although I’m unsure as to why I am and that I can never fully understand the reason for why I’m not worth a single thing, and why I am worthless, i understand that that’s how the world works and I ought to adapt to my role and take it because nobody will stop for me
#‘u guys have seen how fast life can be taken from you’ well I hope it comes faster bc I have been praying for the end to come#for years yet nothing#I have not only been let down by this world#but I have been let down by God so many times it’s genuinely baffling#why can’t He just kill me already#I don’t even care anymore about the method#I don’t even care if it’s the most excruciatingly painful thing#if I get ripped in half or have my organs harvested or tortured for however many days#I think I just need to go and i need to go NOW.#practically the only real consistent wish I’ve had in my life is that I am to be something important to others#someone irreplaceable#but I am not even noticed much less replaced#and how a girl could yap on about her insecurity abt her bangs and within an hour she gets heaps of comments#yet for me ? when I write odes to death every other Tuesday it’s whoopsie who gives a fuck about her I hope she dies#that’s precisely how it looks like to me#I think everyone does wish death upon me for the simple fact that nobody asks#nobody cares and nobody tries to help#actions speak louder than words and everyone’s actions are very clear to me#clearly someone throwing a pity party over themselves for fucking bangs is definitely a cause for concern yes yes ! worthy of twenty notes#within the span of a single hour 🥺🥺🥺 but of course I don’t deserve shit so that’s why nobody gaf 🙂‍↕️#dora daily#my only request is for all to be blunt and clear that I am worthless in their eyes.at least my mum reminds me often.why can’t yall do the#same. at least she is honest and not mincing her words. listen I can handle much more than anyone thinks I’m not as sensitive as everyone#makes me out to be. so freaking tell me how horrible I am tell me that I am a chore to speak to that I am a burden and weigh u all down#and that I am some infinitely unimaginable list of negative attributes and that’s all I’ll ever amount to because I would send my dearest#thanks for you being so brave and saying it to my face. rather than being a coward and a fool for hiding behind flowery words and meaningles#nothings uttered just for filler. newsflash I can read intents and in between the lines well but I am not a mind reader nor does anything#imply that I can read minds. yes I can discern intents and the smallest signals but I CANNOT read minds#why you won’t catch me hold hope that anything I make will get hype so I won’t post it on this platform and if I do I won’t tag it#and why do people always get fed up or think I’m lying or smth when I insist I’m sick like wtf. or they act like I’m lying by embodying the
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cubfan-montblanc · 1 year ago
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when she’s a 10 but she’s a control freak
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ren-144p · 17 days ago
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Love that they have so far kept Sevika steady as a character that's committed to Zaun and Zaun alone, but also clearly showed that she's not a leader. She's a wingman, meant to work within the movement and not at the head of it. When Smeech said "a bird without a wing is just a funny looking rat" but, actually, she is not a bird without a wing—she is a wing without the bird.
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seijorhi · 7 months ago
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so would oikawa not swoop in as the doting step father for the reader’s biological kids??
oh no he absolutely would. he'd coo and fuss and promise that he'll be the world's best dad to your babies, regardless of their true parentage. their bio dad might as well be a figment of your imagination because as far as your little family's concerned, he's their father.
until oikawa feels you're not holding up your end of the deal as his loving wife. then those kids he swore to you he'd treat like his own suddenly present themselves as the perfect leverage to bring his unruly wife back under heel.
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Movie!Tails 🤝 Nine
Getting all 😳😊 when Sonic says that he considers them a friend
#sonic the hedgehog#sontails#sonine#unbreakable bond#miles tails prower#tails the fox#sonic prime#sonic wachowski#miles nine prower#nine sonic prime#nine the fox#i just be ramblin#If you know you know#The scene with Nine gets me because Sonic is like 'Only a true friend could pull off a save like that'#and Nine STUTTERS. He's like ''Friend? We're f-friends?'' all airy like and smiling like he's not sure he can believe it#And then later Sonic's like 'Mess with my best bud and you get blasted!'#And it's like the first time Sonic's referred to Nine as a best friend of his so Nine gets this soft heartfelt smile like it was touching😭#And then the scene from Sonic movie 2 man#Tails is like 'Do you really mean that? About me being your pal?'#and he places his hand over his own heart and everything‚ smiling like the implication is just touching#and Sonic's like 'Of course‚ buddy' and Tails smiles even bigger and just hugs him#Gaaaaaaaaaah they just they just get me#I spent a lot of time in the S0riku trenches in my youth waxing poetry about Riku’s feelings and like#Nine and movie Tails' reactions to being considered friends or best friends to Sonic speaks to that part of me#(that part of me who used to wax poetry about Riku not being able to believe that Sora still considers him a best friend‚ much less anythin#else he'd want the two of them to be)#And Nine specifically‚ he wants to be someone special and irreplaceable for Sonic. So especially when Sonic calls him 'best bud'‚ I think i#allows him to believe for a moment that his dream is possible and that Sonic would choose to live in a world of their own making with him
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transmasccofee · 1 year ago
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exploding your brothers arm feels like the psychic equivalent to breaking your mother's favourite vase
this is the funniest thing I have ever hear anon ur my hero
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raspberryjellybrains · 6 days ago
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I've been thinking a lot lately about identity, culture, parody, pastiche, and empathy (which I'm aware is a very broad umbrella, but bear with me.) I think a part of the reason why post-modernism doesn't resonate with younger generations as "art" is that its core conceit has become mainstream. There's still the critique of capitalist work as fetish which hasn't been taken up in the mainstream, but the overwhelm of images and ideas both industrial and organic pared down and/or magnified past the point of comprehension then replicated infinitely has become the general stew the internet is mired in. It is, by nature, the very thing depicted as perverse by earlier artists; thus, there's no edge to it anymore, simply another smooth rock wearing away at the boundaries between our selfhood and the world (if ever there was a meaningful delineation to be made.)
Further, I think the lack of self-awareness is deadly. When one takes every element of culture, regarding depth and meaning carefully, and creates something new from it (however scathing it may be towards the source material,) that is one thing; it is something entirely different to do so without care. This... loss of care in the handling of culture is a symptom of the panoptic nature of the internet. To regurgitate everything, it must first be swallowed, and before that? Ripped and shattered on the rocks of the gaze. The only way to avoid the gaze is to hide all noticeable traits until you blend in with the scenery, and to do that, you must erase every emotion, trait, or interest; you turn into a cold mask of a human, mocking your kind and taking the teeth you hardened to avoid into your mouth, becoming a new eye on the mutated tower of our own insatiable curiosity. This is a very roundabout way to refer to irony poisoning.
That poison does exactly what I outlined. It breaks the self whole, and blended with the most pernicious mechanisms of capitalism, sells the most delicate parts to the highest bidder. Pale copies of it are then disseminated as the real thing and turned into a hollow, post-modern collage of one's most sacred parts to cover the vicious nothing underneath. Pale copies of pieces of people destroyed become a collage element alongside hundreds of others for a trendy mask, long discarded in a years time.
Even the reason for this practice has become subsumed in its mimicry, rendering the perversion of post-modernism so two months ago.
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ikram1909 · 8 months ago
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De La Muerte speaking about Gavi at the conference today ☹️
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remyfire · 7 months ago
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When the writer agonies hit.
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cakesmelons · 1 year ago
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Also bonus doodle just for u Melon ;3
(Melons edit, not part of og submission: I ran out of room in tags, BUT ty ty ty ty I loved this sm 💕💕💕💘💘💘)
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tiger-balm · 7 months ago
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I know we say this almost every day but I can't believe how much people hate mitch... even when presented with clear facts on his value they refuse to acknowledge it
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wildstar25 · 9 months ago
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thinking about that time Arsay almost let herself get whacked by a blasphemy because G'raha started talking in his exarch voice....
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isadora-b-l-e · 15 days ago
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i get evil thoughts when i drive
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quasi-normalcy · 1 year ago
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.
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mihai-florescu · 10 months ago
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I need a best friend or at least someone to obsess over-_-
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aldieb · 11 months ago
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i feel like my family dog was a good model for my response to conflict. when the other pups at the dog park tried to fight him, he would simply lie down. kind of hard to fight me if i am not fighting you back
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