#i am thinking tboughts. that i wish to share.

[raspberryjellybrains]

I've been thinking a lot lately about identity, culture, parody, pastiche, and empathy (which I'm aware is a very broad umbrella, but bear with me.) I think a part of the reason why post-modernism doesn't resonate with younger generations as "art" is that its core conceit has become mainstream. There's still the critique of capitalist work as fetish which hasn't been taken up in the mainstream, but the overwhelm of images and ideas both industrial and organic pared down and/or magnified past the point of comprehension then replicated infinitely has become the general stew the internet is mired in. It is, by nature, the very thing depicted as perverse by earlier artists; thus, there's no edge to it anymore, simply another smooth rock wearing away at the boundaries between our selfhood and the world (if ever there was a meaningful delineation to be made.)

Further, I think the lack of self-awareness is deadly. When one takes every element of culture, regarding depth and meaning carefully, and creates something new from it (however scathing it may be towards the source material,) that is one thing; it is something entirely different to do so without care. This... loss of care in the handling of culture is a symptom of the panoptic nature of the internet. To regurgitate everything, it must first be swallowed, and before that? Ripped and shattered on the rocks of the gaze. The only way to avoid the gaze is to hide all noticeable traits until you blend in with the scenery, and to do that, you must erase every emotion, trait, or interest; you turn into a cold mask of a human, mocking your kind and taking the teeth you hardened to avoid into your mouth, becoming a new eye on the mutated tower of our own insatiable curiosity. This is a very roundabout way to refer to irony poisoning.

That poison does exactly what I outlined. It breaks the self whole, and blended with the most pernicious mechanisms of capitalism, sells the most delicate parts to the highest bidder. Pale copies of it are then disseminated as the real thing and turned into a hollow, post-modern collage of one's most sacred parts to cover the vicious nothing underneath. Pale copies of pieces of people destroyed become a collage element alongside hundreds of others for a trendy mask, long discarded in a years time.

Even the reason for this practice has become subsumed in its mimicry, rendering the perversion of post-modernism so two months ago.

[alj4890]

Misfortune's Intentions

(Liam x OC*Elisse Millan) (Drake x Riley)

A/N A couple more months have gone by. Liam and Elisse have attended many of the same events in Cordonia, gradually getting closer to one another. In this chapter, they begin the necessary steps toward a more personal relationship. Liam also has an honest conversation to the two that he once trusted the most.

@gkittylove99​ @krsnlove​ @kingliam2019​ @texaskitten30​ @hopefulmoonobject​ @yourmajesty09​ @mom2000aggie​ @ofpixelsandscribbles​

Masterlist

Chapter 3 Heart’s Honesty

The Royal Palace, Cordonia...

Liam looked up when he heard the murmur of feminine voices passing by on their way to the solarium.

Creeping towards the cracked door, he peeped out to see who it was.

He caught just a glimpse of Olivia, Riley, and Madeleine turning toward the right.

Curious yet not wishing to get caught up in conversation with any of them, he settled back in his chair and continued to review a trade proposal Elisse had given him from Amalas.

Monterisso's queen was not going to wait around on Riley's baby in making inroads toward a strong, beneficial relationship between their two countries. Since the pregnancy had been announced a couple of months back, Liam and his close knit group of friends had spent numerous events speaking to pushy foreign monarchs.

The only bright side to meeting so often, were the moments he had with Elisse. They were few and far between and much too short to satisfy him. A dance shared, a few words spoken here and there, possibly a shared smile over a private joke. All ended up making her the first person he searched for when entering into a room.

"Would you like me to bring a tray in here, your majesty or would you prefer having lunch in the dining room?"

Liam looked up at one of the footmen. "A tray, please." He called the man back. "Is there some gathering this afternoon?"

"The Queen Mother is hosting some ladies for tea in the solarium." The footman replied.

"Ah." Liam tried to focus. "Do you know who she invited?"

"I know some, sir."

Liam cocked an eyebrow, trying not to be impatient.

"Duchess Riley is the honored guest." The footman began to go through the usual name of Cordonian ladies. "Queen Isabella and Queen Amalas have also arrived."

Liam grit his teeth at not hearing what he wanted to most. "Did Queen Amalas bring another lady with her, by chance?"

"I'm not sure, sir. Should I go inquire?"

"No." Liam muttered. "Just bring my lunch in here, please."

"At once, sir." He bowed and left the king alone.

"There you are."

Liam nearly cursed. "Drake. Join me, won't you?"

"Thanks." He sat down on the couch across from him. "Haven't seen much of you recently."

Liam held up the documents he was reading. "Kingdom business."

"Ah." Drake drummed his fingers on his pants.

Liam tried to tune him out.

"Riley's having a tea party with Regina and a few others."

"So I've heard."

"Did you know the Spy Queen has returned?"

"Yes." Liam responded. "So did Auvernal's queen."

Drake ran a hand through his hair. "So, uh, have you gotten anything out of the spy that has taken up residence nearby?"

Liam lowered the documents. "Spy? What are you talking about?"

"Your investigation with Queen Amalas’s cousin." Drake narrowed his eyes. "That is why you are spending so much time with her isn't it?"

"Lady Elisse is more of a messenger between me and Amalas." Liam bit out.

"I've never seen you make sure to share most of your dances with messengers before, much less spend anymore time than you have to."

"I am doing exactly what I promised." Liam informed him. "I am taking time to get to know her. All these new events have limited my chances to be alone with her."

"Alone with her?" Drake leaned forward. "Why are you wanting to be alone with her?"

At this moment, Liam did not want to admit to Drake that he believed he was ready to try and fall in love again. He had yet to actually have a real date with Elisse, much less kiss her. He also wasn't certain her own feelings about taking that next step.

She seems to like me, he thought. Is it more than a friend? Or am I simply fooling myself like I did with Riley?

"Li?" Drake waved a hand. "Still with me?"

Liam closed his eyes. "Yes, sorry." He cleared his throat. "If I am alone with her, then she will be more inclined to talk about things she would never feel comfortable doing at a crowded gathering."

Drake slowly nodded. "That's true. Sounds like a good plan."

A plan to test her and see if she feels as I do, Liam thought.

"Are you going to try and get her alone after the queen's tea?"

Liam's eyes widened. "Elisse is here?"

"Well, yeah." Drake tilted his head slightly. "Liam, you sure there isn't anything wr--"

"Positive." Liam excused himself. "I need to put these papers in the study. Feel free to call down to the kitchen for an extra tray for lunch."

***************

The Solarium, Royal Palace, Cordonia...

What would I do without all these pastries?

Elisse gratefully took another bite of a strawberry tart. If her mouth was full then she wouldn't be pressured to talk.

Which was a good thing considering how she felt about Lady Riley Walker.

It nearly turned her stomach at how everyone was complimenting the waitress turned duchess. There was only so much bowing and scraping for attention Elisse could stand.

Especially to someone who had hurt Liam so horribly.

It didn't take a mind reader to realize that the reason Cordonia's king was not actively courting or planning on having little princes and princesses of his own was sitting across from her, gushing about what kind of father Drake would be.

"He has already promised to take all the late night diaper changes." Riley giggled.

Elisse didn't bother to hide her eye roll, earning a slight kick from her cousin.

Amalas sent her the look that somehow conveyed the reminder that they were trying to gain favor with the woman carrying the royal heir so stop making faces at every little thing she says.

Feeling somewhat chastised for possibly letting her cousin down, Elisse averted her gaze and poured herself another cup of tea.

How much longer are we going to have to sit here?

"Bradshaw would have fainted dead away if I remotely asked him to change one of the twins diapers." Isabella's brittle smile formed with the mention of her husband and children.

Elisse's eyes narrowed somewhat as she studied Auvernal's queen. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but there was something not quite right. She cut her eyes to Amalas, wondering if she too was seeing this.

Her cousin tucked a lock of her own hair behind her right ear and gently tugged on the earlobe.

Elisse returned her attention to the conversations, satisfied with that secret signal that Amalas not only saw it but was planning on investigating it further.

"What about you?" Riley asked.

Elisse glanced up and realized that all eyes were on her.

"I'm sorry." She stammered. "Did you ask me something?"

"Can you picture your husband changing diapers?" Riley prodded.

"I'm not married." Elisse forced a pleasant smile. "It's difficult enough imagining him doing so when I don't even know what he looks like."

"Oh!" Riley glared over at Madeleine. "I'm sorry. I was told you were married."

Madeleine chuckled softly. "Perhaps if you read the reports I give you, you wouldn't make a mistake like that."

Riley ignored her and focused once more on Elisse. She was determined to find out more about this woman who seemed to always find a way to be near Liam.

"Enough baby talk." She decided. "Let's talk romance."

"Zeke is taking me to Switzerland next week." Penelope shyly said. "A trip for just the two of us."

Kiara laughed. "He is so excited about it. It is all he talks of whenever one of us asks him something." She smiled at Penelope's blush. "Très romantique, non?"

"Very." Hana sighed. "You two are so sweet together."

"Anyone else have that special someone?" Riley asked. "Or needs a little help from Cupid to get them to act right?"

Olivia shook her head. "By Cupid, you mean you."

"I do." The duchess replied. "I know all about stubborn men trying their hardest to keep from being with the perfect person for them."

Elisse sat up a little straighter. "Is that how you and his grace got together?" She did her best to make her question sound like polite curiosity. "Did you have to convince him to be with you?"

Amalas stilled. She had been the one to tell Elisse all of what happened during Liam and Madeleine's engagement tour.

Riley had a dreamy expression on her face. "Drake Walker put up quite the fight. It took all my I had to get him to be with me."

"When did you realize he was worth it?" Elisse asked while turning in her chair so that Amalas couldn't kick her again. "Most would have focused on someone who seemed interested."

Olivia snorted in agreement. "I will never understand how you could choose Walker over Liam."

Riley's smile turned tender. "What can I say? He was a complete marshmallow whenever we were alone. I saw past his snark and knew he had to be mine."

"I think it's terribly romantic." Hana added. "He has shown over and over that you are the most important person in his life."

While Hana and Riley went through the list of things that made Drake perfect, Elisse tbought of Liam's actions in each scenario.

"He took a bullet for her." Hana explained to the visitors.

"I will begrudgingly give him credit for that." Olivia grumbled. "That and for helping take Anton down."

Elisse mentally countered that with Liam coming and facing Anton and his minions alone to rescue the couple.

"He sounds like he will be a protective father." Amalas interjected before they continued to extol his virtues. "One that knows the value of family."

Issabella narrowed her eyes at her. "I agree. Which is why I would love to have him as father-in-law to one of my," she took a gulp of tea, "darling twins."

While the two queens tried to sway Riley toward choosing their children, Liam stepped into the sunroom.

Regina looked up and smiled. "Liam dear, would you care to join us for a cup of tea?"

He shook his head. "Thank you, but I came in here for something else." His charming smile flashed to the ladies. "I do hate to interrupt, but I need to speak to Lady Elisse a moment."

She set her teacup down. "Yes, of course, your majesty."

When Liam noticed the curious looks, he explained that he needed her to clarify one of the requests in the document she had given him.

"Perhaps you need Queen Amalas too." Isabella smirked. "Since she is Monterisso's ruler. Plus, I'm certian Duchess Riley would enjoy hearing something other than Prince Josip's darling ways."

Amalas kept her cool and did not rise to the bait. "I would be more than happy to." She winked at her cousin. "But Elisse was such a help to me as I drafted it that she knows it as well as I do."

"We will only be a moment." Liam promised, setting Elisse's hand in the bend of his arm.

Riley, Olivia, and Hana all shared a knowing look.

Regina noticed their exchange and cleared her throat.

"Would anyone care for more tea?"

**************

Once they were out of earshot of the solarium, Elisse spoke up.

"What problem did you come across in the trade agreement?"

Liam's cheeks flushed. "Actually, I haven't seen any problem."

"Oh." She attempted to not let her imagination get away from her. "Then why did you take me away from the tea?"

Liam rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not--that is--I" he chuckled softly while turning to face her. "I guess I simply wanted to see you."

Elisse doubted that anyone could be more adorable than Liam was in this moment.

She smiled and lowered her eyes. "Would it be too forward to say that I had hoped to causally bump into you while here for the tea party?"

"Definitely. Much too forward." He responded in a serious tone.

Her head jerked up and she saw the humor in his eyes.

She playfully pushed him away. "That certainly cured me of ever doing so again."

He laughed out loud, took her hand, and pulled her along with him.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"To my study to look over the documents."

"But I thought you said there wasn't a problem."

Liam opened the door for her. "There isn't. But one must have their alibis in order, m'lady."

"What am I to do with you?" She teased once he shut the door.

Liam allowed his heated gaze to settle on her. Her question sparked his imagination. There were several things he would love for her to do with him.

"Is this where you spend most of your day?" She asked, exploring his bookshelves.

"For the most part."

Her eyes cut over to him. His casual stance as he leaned against the door was one she was noticing happened whenever they were near one another. His image he maintained to the rest of the world was one of proper, ram rod posture. There was rarely any softening or relaxed muscles.

Except with me, she thought.

Still highly curious and a touch nervous, Elisse sat down on a small couch.

"The Queen Mother told us about the ball you're hosting. How are the preparations going?"

Liam shrugged on his way to sit near her. "They must be going well. No one has come to me with any problems yet."

She turned towards him. "Is it for a special reason?"

You mean other than wanting a night where I can easily steal you away?

Liam kept that response to himself. "I suppose it is. Now that Lady Riley has gotten over most of the morning sickness, we can host a ball in honor of the royal heir."

Elisse was unable to control her facial expression. "I see."

Liam's eyebrows drew together. He had noticed that same irritated expression appear whenever the viscountess heard that particular name. "Elisse, do you not care for Riley?"

Her lips parted, ready to admit how she truly felt about the one that had hurt him, only to close shut. She knew she needed to be more diplomatic for Amalas’s sake.

She turned away from him and shook her head. "She seems pleasant."

Elisse was surprised she didn't choke on that word.

"Pleasant?" Liam's lips began to curve.

"Yes." She pointedly looked out the window, knowing he was amused at her answer.

If I look at him, it will all be over, she thought. She had to fight to keep her smile from appearing as he slid closer to her.

"You find Lady Riley pleasant?" He propped his elbow on the back of the couch and rested his head on his hand. "I don't think I have ever heard such a mild compliment toward her before."

Elisse was unable to resist and turned back toward him. He quirked an eyebrow in silent question when she simply stared at his face.

All she could think about was how generous he had been. Allowing Riley to live here to be near Drake. Giving her a title and a castle. Hosting their wedding. Standing as best man. Fighting to save their lives with little regard to his own safety. And now to naming their child as his heir.

Kindness barely scratchs the surface, she thought.

"Elisse?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you thinking so hard about?"

Without pausing to consider if she would end up embarrassed by her answer, she said exactly what was on her mind.

"You."

Liam didn't think any other answer could possibly top that one.

He slid his hand over hers. "I think of you often."

"You do?"

"No." He grinned at her frown. "It is more than often. You are rarely if ever far from my mind."

Her warm smile returned. "I suppose I am the same way."

Liam drummed up the courage to ask her out. "Elisse, would you--"

"Liam, I wanted to--" Riley's eyes widened at the pair on the couch. "Sorry. Drake told me he had seen you come in here. I didn't know you were still reviewing..."she noticed there wasn't one scrap of paper between them, "trade documents."

"We cleared that matter up quickly." Liam kept a hold on Elisse's hand. "Is there anything you need, Riley?"

"Yes, um, the ball. What exactly did you have planned?"

"Is there anything other than dancing, drinks, and food that Cordonians do at balls?" Elisse teased.

Liam chuckled. "Other than taking a moment to obsess over our apples, not really."

Riley narrowed her eyes. Their little jokes and touches were more serious than she thought.

"I wanted to come in and offer my help, if needed." She muttered.

"Thank you, but everything is under control."

Riley hesitated a moment. "Liam, Drake and I were hoping to speak with you," she glanced at Elisse, "privately."

Liam sighed softly. "I'll join you and Drake in the west drawing room in a moment."

"Okay." She couldn't think of a reason to stick around and see what was going to happen between him and the viscountess.

Once she shut the door, Elisse focused on Liam. "I suppose I should find Amalas."

"Not yet, please." He lowered his eyss to her hand in his. "Lady Elisse," he cleared his throat, "I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me one night."

"Of course. I know we should to discuss the terms--"

"Not for work." He quickly interrupted. "I'm asking you for a date."

Elisse wondered if he could hear her heart pounding. "I would love to."

Liam released the breath he had been holding. "Then I will call you this evening and we will discuss the details."

She stood up, suddenly more nervous than she had been. "I look forward to it."

Liam lifted her hand to his lips. "So do I."

***********

"Drake, they were definitely not talking about trade deals." Riley paced back and forth. "He was holding her hand!"

"Take it easy." He placed his hands on her shoulders. "You know stress isn't good for you and the baby."

"What if Liam starts insisting that we sign an arranged marriage between our baby and Queen Amalas's son?" She cradled her small belly. "What will we do then?"

"We'll fix this." Drake reassured her. "Aren't you the one to point out how we always find a way to defeat those that come at us?"

She slowly nodded.

"Then don't worry." He pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. "We got this, Brooks."

The couple looked up when Liam came into the room.

“You wished to speak to me.” He sat down in one of the chairs.

“Liam,” Drake began, “what were you speaking to Elisse about?”

“We were discussing dinner plans this week.”

"Dinner plans? You have a date with Elisse?" Riley asked.

"Yes." Liam didn't bother to hide his smile. "We've had dinner and lunches together numerous times, but..." His voice held a hint of the true happiness he felt. "It has always been work related. I thought it was time for us to be together for no other reason than because we want to."

"But she's the Spy queen's cousin!" Riley exclaimed.

Liam quirked an eyebrow at her. "I know who her family members are."

Riley motioned to Drake to say something.

He cleared his throat. "Li, you know we only want to see you happy." He shifted under Liam's piercing gaze. "But we don't know if we can trust Amalas or anyone associated with her."

"I know I can." Liam's tone held a warning to not push him on this. "Elisse has never brought up the subject of your child marrying Amalas's son."

"She is probably waiting until you get more comfortable around her." Riley grumbled. "Seems like something a secret agent would do. Seduce the target into agreeing--"

Liam's hand slammed down on the end table next to him, causing the couple to jump in surprise.

"That's enough!" He snapped. His kingly authority reverberated within the formal drawing room. "I won't hear another word against Elisse." His blue eyes sparked with fury. "What proof do you have?"

"None." Riley stepped back from his glare. "Liam, you're so trusting that anyone can take advantage of your kindness."

"Yes," his soft tone scared them even more than his shouting. "I can see where you would both think that, given that I trusted you."

"Liam, what are you talking about?" Riley asked.

"I'm talking about the fact that nearly three years ago I trusted you with my heart." His eyes went from one to the other. "I laid it at your feet, Riley, and asked Drake to guard you while I tried to help uncover this conspiracy against you." He folded his arms. "If anyone shouldn't be trusted in this kingdom at the moment, it would be the two who betrayed me in the worst possible way."

Tear slipped down Riley's cheeks. "Liam, I...I thought you understood." She swallowed. "You stood there as Drake's best man at our wedding. You named our child your heir."

"Just because I understood, forgave you, and accepted it; that does not necessarily mean that I have forgotten." He replied. “I still trust you, but I have become more cautious in doing so.”

"Liam," Drake's voice cracked with regret. "I'm sorry. I had no idea you still felt--"

"I don't." Liam interrupted. "I haven't for a while now." His stance relaxed with his next words. “Since meeting Elisse, I have realized that I am able to move on from the past.”

He thought of the excitement he felt just in anticipating seeing her again. That desire to touch her. Finally feel what her lips against his. Seeing her smile. Holding her close.

He focused again on two people he still considered his best friends. "Regardless of what her cousin does, Elisse is innocent. She is the woman I intend on knowing on a personal level. You either support me in that and treat her with every bit of friendship and courtesy she deserves or you can return to Valtoria until you are able to do so."

With that, Liam left the couple with jaws dropped.

**************

Pier at Cordonia’s Capital a few nights later...

"Elisse?" Liam called out when he finally reached The Semblance sailboat.

She popped up from the galley. "Liam?"

His smile formed when she came over.

She climbed up the side, held onto the various ropes, and leaned forward. "Ready to come aboard?"

"You know, I'm not exactly fond of boats." He admitted. "One too many bad experiences."

Her smile turned tender. "I know. That's why we aren't going sailing." She tilted her head to where she had a table set. "I just wanted a spot where I could have you to myself."

Liam grabbed the same ropes and pulled himself until he was face to face with her. His lips curved at her slight intake of breath. "I could be on board with that."

She rolled her eyes playfully while groaning. Gripping his blazer she tugged him onto the boat. "Only you are cute enough to get away with that awful pun."

"I try." He teased.

She slipped her arm around him. "I hope you like what I prepared." Her eyes darted around as if she was worried someone would overhear. "Felix has been trying his hardest to teach me how to cook."

"Elisse, you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble." Liam tucked her long dark hair over her shoulder. "Just having a moment with you away from court and our duties is enough for me."

"Liam," she slid her arms up his chest, "I have a confession."

He placed his hands on her waist. "Oh?"

"Years ago, Amalas began a file on you." Her eyes darted to his lips before lifting once more to his crystal clear blue eyes. "And I read it."

Liam grimaced. "It sounds like you're about to say something I'm not going to like."

Her tender smile caused him to pause in pulling away.

"On the contrary," she stepped closer to him, "everything I read, I liked." Her dark brown eyes held his. "That's why I hope you like everything I've done."

Unable to resist the temptation any longer, Liam captured her lips in a heated kiss.

Her fingers tangled in his hair as he continued the sweet exchange.

Their eyes met as they began to part, only for them both to rush forward in a more passionate kiss.

"Liam." She said in a breathless voice when his lips brushed her cheek. "I've been waiting on you to do that for months now."

He chuckled, cuddling her close. "You have no idea how often I wanted to shove everything off my desk and yank you on it."

Her eyes twinkled. "I might have had similar thoughts."

He thought his face was in danger of being set in a permanent goofy grin.

A breeze brought their attention back to the carefully set table.

"I don't want to let your dinner go to waste." He murmured, kissing her neck.

"It probably tasted horrible anyway." She smiled at hearing his laughter. "I would like to get a second date out of this. My dinner might have sent you running as far away from me as you can."

"It wouldn't." He pressed his forehead against hers. "I have no intention of running away from you, Elisse."

Her smile took his breath away. With a slight joyful squeal, she kissed him once more.

"Would you like to lay here and watch the stars appear?" She motioned toward another section of the boat she had piled with an air mattress, blankets, and pillows. A bucket with chilled champagne was on hand with two glasses.

"Love to." He let her go, watching as she retrieved some strawberries and set them nearby their pallet.

He popped the champagne and filled their glasses.

"What should we toast to?" He asked.

"To the longest waited first date ever." She tapped her glass against his. "And how happy I am to finally be here with you."

Liam held her gaze as he downed his glass. He set it to the side and pulled her back in his arms. "Nowhere near as happy as I am."

****************

A few ships over, Olivia lowered her binoculars. 

“The date seems to be going well.” She whispered.

“Do you think she can be trusted?” Hana asked. 

“There’s only one way to know for sure.” Olivia passed the binoculars to her accomplice. “We need to dig up all we can on the viscountess and queen from Monterisso as well as everything I can on Auvernal’s monarchs.”

“If Liam falls in love with her,” Hana took a deep breath, “it will hurt him horribly if we discover she is using him.”

“He’s already been through so much.” Olivia murmured. “I don’t want to be the one to deliver news like that to him.”

“But we promised Riley we would investigate Elisse.” Hana shifted. “Do you think she is wrong about suspecting her?”

“I--” For the first time, Olivia doubted they needed to spy on Elisse. “I honestly don’t know.”