#someone fucking save me from all these tags

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

SKZ DRABBLE-OT8

The one where finding how you fit is a little like a puzzle-the 100,000 piece kind, not the 100 piece kind. or The twenty-seventh installment of the SKZ!Pack Prequel series

Tags: Skz, Stray Kids, Stay, SKZ!Pack, Pack!Prequel, Skz!Pack Prequel, ABO, A/B/O, Omegaverse, Series, OT8, Bang Chan, Lee Minho, Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix, Han Jisung, Kim Seungmin, Yang Jeongin, Fluff, Angst, Skz imagines, Skz scenarios, FemReader

Genre: Light Angst, Fluff

A/N: I'm back! Sorry guys, I know it's been SOOOOO Long and yall have probably forgotten/given up on me, but I had to take a little sabbatical to keep my head above water in real life. But I've been here! Stalking and reading and checking comments and reblogs and messages. I love yall! <3 Thanks for being so patient with me!

Title: Call Me Anything at All, Just Don't Call Me Yours

“Dude, your fucking beta is killing me here.” 

You glance up as Jisung joins the cafeteria table, plopping down between Changbinn and Hyunjin, clearly frustrated about something, his voice a plaintive whine.

Changbin’s brow creases in slight confusion. “My beta? What, you mean Seungmin?” 

“Who else would I be fucking talking about?” Jisung grumbles, shooting a glare in the alpha’s direction, as he rips open the packet that contains his silverware with a little more force than necessary. 

“You, technically.” Felix points out helpfully from further down the table, giving Jisung a slightly teasing grin. 

“Yeah, ha ha, I’m killing myself, real funny, Lix.” Jisung mocks back, though his tone softens a little as he addresses the omega, because that’s just the effect Felix has on everyone. 

Jisung turns back to Changbin, slapping his palms down on the table. “But seriously, he’s weird as shit. Hot and cold all the time, man. I don’t ever know where I stand with him-not really-kind of like with Minho-hyung.” 

Beside you, Minho snorts softly. “Please, you’re always on thin fucking ice with me, Han Jisung. You know that.” 

Jisung shoots Minho an annoyed look, but continues badgering Changbin. “You gotta tell me the secret to crack the code, hyung. One second, I think we’re friends, the next, the guy barely has two words to say to me.” 

Changbin gives a slight shrug. “That’s just how Seungmin is.” 

You nod in agreement. “Yeah, trust me, Sungie, Seungmin is a tough nut to crack. We’ve been friends for a long time-study partners for longer-and there’s still days I think he’d rather murder me than be sat across the table from me. He’s hard to read, he keeps his feelings close to his chest.” 

“He’s also a slow mover.” Changbin points out. “Really takes his time to think things through, all the pros and cons, before he acts.” 

Minho snorts again, not looking up from his food. “Maybe he’s deciding the cons list is longer than the pros when it comes to being packmates with you, Jisung.” 

“Plus, he’s not all that affectionate. Skinship is kind of a struggle for him.” You remark thoughtfully, an observation you’ve had the longer you’ve gotten to be around Seungmin as a packmate, and not just a library buddy. 

He really only lets Changbin touch him openly. Maybe it’s a side effect of the whole moonmate thing. 

Biology. 

Jisung takes a swig of his soda and considers for a moment, furrowing his brow. “Well, have you guys been-” He clears his throat, motioning slightly with his hands in a flapping motion toward Changbin. “-you know, intimate?” 

You clear your throat at that, interjecting, trying to save Changbin the embarrassment of answering that question. “Intimacy can be a lot of things, Jisungie, you know, like when you and I and Seungmin showered together, or when Chan scents us, or trusting someone enough to talk to them about difficult subjects-” Hyunjin leans around the beta and stares directly at Changbin now. “No, he’s asking if you’ve fucked.” 

Down the table, Chan chokes on his food, and Jeongin openly covers a cackle with a well timed cough. 

Next to you, Minho mutters beneath his breath, “Jesus Christ.” 

Changbin clears his throat hard, and you note the tips of his ears going a bright red. “Well, yeah.” He gives a shrug, as if it’s not a big deal, but the way his muscles stiffen tells you he’d rather be anywhere but here right now, talking about this.

“You don’t have to talk about this, Bin-” Chan starts softly, shooting Jisung a warning look that practically screams head alpha.

Changbin waves him off, and Chan’s hackles visibly relax a little.

“He likes you, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Changbin assures Jisung, throwing an arm around his shoulders and ruffling his hair with a large hand. “All of you. He’s just a little more cautious when it comes to showing it. With me, there’s the weird biological pull of moonmates or whatever, but with the rest of you, you just gotta be patient. But he likes you. He’s told me.” 

Jisung sighs, relaxing slightly at the alpha’s touch. “Fine. As long as there’s hope that one day we can fuck in your studio, I can live with that.” 

Changbin removes his arm so quickly from around the beta’s shoulders that it’s like he’s been burned. “Please don’t do that.” 

Jisung shoots him a wink. “No promises.” 

“Apparently he’s into degradation in bed if that makes you feel any better.” Hyunjin remarks offhandedly, picking at his salad with his fork. “You probably couldn’t handle that anyway.” 

Changbin chokes a little, glaring over Jisung’s head at the luna. “Hyun, you promised me when I told you that in confidence-” Changbin’s voice drops to a hiss. “-that you wouldn’t talk about it!” 

Hyunjin gives a slight shrug, glancing around at everyone’s stunned reactions. “What? There’s no secrets in the pack right?” 

Jisung’s jaw is on the floor. 

“He what?” 

“Oh my god.” Chan groans from down the table, fingers already kneading between his brows, staving off an oncoming headache. “This is not appropriate lunchroom conversation-” 

“Okay, okay.” You wave your hands. “You’re gonna give Chan an aneurysm. Let’s table the kink talk for a more private time and location, okay?” 

“Hah.” Jeongin snorts softly. “Table.” 

Minho elbows him hard. 

******

You’re watching Jisung practice something on his skateboard in front of the dorms-a kickflip maybe? You can’t remember what he called it-chin in hand, open textbook unread in your lap. 

“Shit.” Jisung swears as the skateboard clatters away from him once more, and he sighs, tucking it under his arm and coming to sit down beside you on the cold concrete of the steps. 

He bumps his shoulder into yours. “Why the long face?” 

You glance sidelong at him, wrinkling your nose slightly. “I don’t have a long face. I’m just thinking.” 

He arches a brow. “Okay, so what are you thinking so deeply about then?” 

You sigh, running a few fingers over the page of the textbook in your lap, considering for a brief moment. “I was thinking about Seungmin.” 

“Ah.” Jisung nods, tilting his head slightly. “What, about the fact that he’s into being called shit in bed? Because I for one did not see that coming.” 

“No!” You say a little too quickly, cheeks heating even despite the cool nip of the air. “No.” You repeat, a little more levelly this time. “Just-about how I relate, to what you said. I never really know how he feels about things.” 

Jisung leans back on his hands beside you, staring out at the campus for a moment. Finally, he says, “Yeah, he’s kind of a weird dude, huh? I mean, I know he’s into Changbin, but I don’t really know if he’s that into the whole idea of the pack.”

You glance sidelong at the beta sat beside you, and you note the way he bites his bottom lip, fingers drumming along the skateboard held in his lap. 

“I was kind of excited to have another beta around.” Jisung admits a little softly with a sigh, glancing down at the chipped orange paint that adorns his nails currently, courtesy of Hyunjin. “I dunno, until I moved to university, I never really spent a lot of time around others like me. And it’s nice, the dorms and the friends, but there’s something about having a potential packmate who just gets it that’s comforting, you know?” 

You nod, reaching out to put one of your gloved hands over his. “Yeah, I do. I know you’ve been through a lot, with the whole beta thing, and I was hopeful Seungmin could help you through some of the stuff you’re still dealing with.” 

Jisung gives you a slight smile, but it’s tight and doesn’t quite reach his large dark eyes. “I don’t even know if the guy likes me, noona, or if he just puts up with my company because of Changbin.” 

You sigh, glancing down at where your gloved fingers rest over Jisung’s chapped, red ones. “Well, at least he didn’t straight up tell you that he didn’t feel like that about you. That’s something.” 

Jisung snorts. “That’s because I didn’t ask like you did.” 

You swallow. “Yeah, well, I’m an idiot.” You huff out, glancing over at him and it’s your turn to give him the hint of a smile that doesn’t quite feel completely real or genuine. “I mean, I told him I loved him, and he didn’t say it back. So maybe his feelings really haven’t changed.” 

Jisung gives a slight shrug, and then knocks his shoulder into yours once more. The smell of detergent is strong in your nose, as if his beta is subconsciously trying to put out pheromones to soothe your obviously agitated alpha. 

“Hey. You said it yourself-the guy’s an enigma. We just gotta give him the time and space to figure it all out on his own.” 

You sigh, long and hard. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” 

Jisung leans his head on your shoulder, and you bury your nose into the soft knitted fabric of his beanie, breathing him in for a lingering moment. 

He squeezes your fingers. “If it’s any consolation, I said it back, remember? And it’s still true.” 

You give a little laugh at that, kissing the top of his head. “Yeah, I know. I love you too.” 

You squeeze his fingers back in return, and then nudge the round, reddened apple of his cheek with your shoulder with a slight hint of a smile. 

“Now c’mon, that kickflip of yours isn’t gonna learn itself.” 

******

“I dunno, maybe I’m pushing too hard. Putting expectations on everyone that are unrealistic.” 

Yeosang glances over at you, breaths coming in harsh little pants in the cold morning air, his hands on his hips as he walks a few loose circles around where you stretch. 

“Betas are tricky. When Mingi joined the pack, I swear to god, the hyungs almost drove themselves crazy trying to figure out what he was thinking.” 

He drops down beside you on the sidewalk, leaning over to stretch out one long arm along the line of his leg, before he switches to the other side effortlessly. 

He’s barely panting from our run, skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat in the early morning rays of weak sunlight. 

You blow out a breath, leaning your head back slightly to stare at the sky. “Jisung is losing his mind. He had this whole grand vision of what having another beta in the pack would mean, and Seungmin’s just-” You hesitate, considering for a moment, before you sigh again. “-not that.” 

Yeosang’s gaze flicks over to me, and he makes a little sound of understanding under his breath. “Mm. Yeah, when we all study together, I can tell the kid’s a little harder to read than most. Even for a beta.” He shifts, coming to his feet again as he rolls his ankles a little, then his arms and his neck, glancing down at me. “But he seems nice. And he seems to be into Changbin, so that’s a plus.” 

“That’s the thing though-” You admit, standing up too now, rolling your shoulders for a moment, before you tuck your earbuds back into your pocket. “-he likes Changbin, but does he like the rest of us?” 

Yeosang moves to stand in front of you , reaching up to push some loose strands of hair back from your jaw with a long finger, chilled from the morning air. He gives you a slight smile. “Wolves aren’t solitary creatures, babe. You know that. And with how smart Seungmin is-and how obsessed with biology-he knows that too. Just give him some time to warm up. It’s probably overwhelming, especially for a seemingly solitary guy like him.” 

You groan. “Fuck, you’re right, but do you have to be?” 

Yeosang chuckles at that, moving to bump his shoulder into yours as you turn to follow the sidewalk back toward campus and the bus stop. 

“Yes. It’s one of my many talents.” 

You arch a brow at him. “Being right?” 

Yeosang grins. “Never being wrong.” 

You roll your eyes and elbow him in the side. “They’re the same thing, idiot.” 

He laughs in response. “Trust me, they’re really not.” You walk in silence for a few moments, shoes scuffing the concrete, hands tucked into the pockets of your jackets, and then Yeosang asks, “Have you tried talking to him about all of this?” 

You scoff a little, shaking your head. “No, because what the hell am I supposed to say?” You move to walk in front of him, taking backward steps as you face him, pitching your voice into something akin to a fake version of your own. “‘Hey, Seungmin, weird question, but like, are you into us? Also, just wondering, but have your feelings changed about me? Oh, and Jisung would really like to fuck you, but he’s nervous you don’t even really like him, and by the way, Changbin totally told everyone you like to be degraded in bed.’” 

Yeosang’s eyes widen at that last part, his mouth dropping open slightly. “Wait, really?” 

You wave him off. “Yeah, well, technically Changbin told Hyunjin, who told everyone else, but that’s beside the point.” 

Yeosang whistles beneath his breath as we continue to walk. “Shit. Okay. Didn’t see that one coming, but good for him.” 

His tone is laced with slight surprise still, but mostly just open admiration and appreciation. 

You pull your phone from your pocket and glance at the time, groaning slightly. “Fuck. I have to go. I’m late for a lab and then I have a study session at the lib.” 

Yeosang arches a brow at that, a slight smirk coming to his full lips. “Oh, with you know who?” 

You stare him down, expression and voice deadpan. “No, I am not meeting Voldemort, The Dark Lord, for a study session, Sang. That’s just stupid.” 

Yeosang rolls his dark eyes, reaching out to shove you, but you dodge the halfhearted attack easily. 

“I’m talking about a certain beta.” 

“I know that.” You retort back, rolling your own eyes now. “Besides, even if Voldemort went here, he’d never be in the sciences department. Probably like arts and humanities or something.” 

“Or dance.” Yeosang points out thoughtfully. 

His suddenly wide eyed gaze meets your own, his mouth in a small ‘o.’

“Minho.” You both say together. 

Yeosang grins as you both laugh, reaching the bus stop. He bumps his shoulder into yours once more affectionately, as you separate to take different buses. 

“Good luck with your study session, babe.” He points a stern finger in your direction. “Talk to him.” 

You roll your eyes and wave him off. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll consider it. Say hi to Voldie for me when you pick up Hwa, will you?” 

Yeosang’s grin widens as he gives you a little salute. “Will do.” 

*****

“You’re staring again.” Seungmin comments without looking up from the page he’s working on, his pencil scratching rhythmically in the quiet of the library. 

You clear your throat, dropping your eyes back to your own textbook. “What? No, I’m not-” 

Seungmin sighs, shutting his notebook, and pushes his glasses up on top of his head as he angles to face you, expression unreadable. 

“All right. Out with it.” 

You’re taken off guard, glancing up at him in a slight panic, like a deer caught in headlights, eyes going wide as your mouth opens and closes a few times before you finally manage to choke out, “Out with what? I’m good. Fine even.” 

Seungmin snorts at that. “You haven’t stopped rereading that same page for the last half an hour. And I’m pretty sure you’ve been studying me more than anything else.” 

“Plus your scent is all wacked out.” He says with a slight wrinkle of his nose. “Even my limited faculties can tell that much.” 

You sigh, glancing down at the open book in your lap before you close it and set it aside, tapping your pen along the table for a brief moment as you consider how to word what you want to say. 

Finally, you get out softly, “Jisung is worried.” 

Seungmin’s brow ticks up a bit at that. “About me?” 

You give a slight shrug, not really looking at him, gaze on the pen flicking between your fingers. “I guess? He’s just worried because he doesn’t really know how you feel-” You glance at him then, and then away again. “-none of us do.” 

The eyebrow goes up another notch. “How I feel? About what?” 

You sigh, a slight sound of frustration now. “About everything? About him, about us, about the pack, about-” I throw a hand out. “-all of it.” 

You tap the pen down a little harder than necessary to punctuate the end of your sentence. “In case you haven’t noticed-” You point out in a mutter beneath your breath. “-you’re not the easiest guy to get a read on.” 

There is brief silence for a moment, and then Seungmin admits quietly, “Yeah, I know.” 

You flick your gaze up to his then, and see a hint of vulnerability in the depths of his dark eyes before he reaches up and scrubs across his face with the palm of his hand. 

“Look, (Y/N)-” He says on a sigh, and you tense up, preparing yourself for what he’s about to say next. Judging by the slight hint of burnt bitterness that now mars his orangey citrus scent, it’s probably not going to be what you want to hear.

Great, can’t wait to break the news to Jisung that the only other beta in the pack doesn’t even wanna be here. 

Seungmin smooths his palms on the table in front of him, staring at the pages of notes scrawled in his messy handwriting. “I know there are expectations. I knew that coming in. I know Jisung has expectations especially, and from what he’s told me about his past and how his parents wanted an alpha for a son, and all the struggles he went through as a beta to try and fit in, I don’t blame him. But I-” 

Seungmin gives a little shake of his head, and his gaze meets yours once more, lips pulled into the hint of a thin line. “I never went through anything like that. I was a beta, born into a family happy to be betas, and I never even thought twice about it. Never felt like I was somehow lacking, or less than, because it was all just biology. Nothing more. So I don’t really know how to-” He hesitates, seeming to struggle with his thoughts for a moment. 

“-relate.” You finish for him softly, and he gives a slight jerk of a nod. 

“Yeah.” He agrees. “But I’ve found I’ve had that problem all my life, not just with Jisung, not just with this, with everything.” He gives a tiny shake of his head, and a humorless sardonic smile curves his lips in the slightest way. “I don’t know how to relate to people. I never have. Maybe I’m missing some integral part of my own biology, because I know better than anyone that wolves are not loners, they’re pack oriented, but I’ve always always preferred to be alone. A lone wolf, I guess you’d say.” 

You study him for a moment and then you say softly, “There’s nothing wrong with that, Seungmin.” He heaves a sigh and leans back, staring up at the ceiling above us. “I guess not, but I guess, what I’m trying to say is-” He glances at you, expression going flat. “-I don’t know how to let you all in to understand me, if I don’t even understand myself.” 

Before you can second guess yourself, you reach out and cover one of his hands on the table with your own. “Hey.” When he looks at you, you give him the hint of a smile. “We’re all figuring this shit out, just the way you are.” 

He blows out a breath through his nose, almost like a sardonic sort of laugh. “Yeah? Well, you guys seem to have shit pretty figured out from my viewpoint.” 

You shake your head. “We don’t, trust me.” Your lips curve slightly as you stare at him, holding his gaze. “We’re a mess, we’re just pretty good at hiding it. Well, most of the time.” 

Seungmin stares at you for a long, silent moment. 

“I want to be what Jisung needs.” He finally admits, so softly it’s almost just a breath. “I want to be what Changbin wants. I want to be-” He blows another harsh breath out through his nose and drops your gaze. “-pack, but I’m just not sure where to begin. This is all new territory for me, and while I’m all about new discoveries in the scientific fields, my personal life is another matter entirely.” 

You give a little laugh at that, and note that he hasn’t pulled his hand back from your touch yet. 

That’s a good sign. 

“You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Just one step at a time.” You encourage softly, leaning down so you can meet his ducked gaze. “You can do that, right?” 

Seungmin sighs, but he nods anyway. “Yeah, I can do that.” 

“Good.” You sit back and blow out a breath, glancing down at your study materials spread out before you. “Now I don’t know about you, but I can’t study anymore tonight or I might go blind.” 

Seungmin nods, surprisingly, and begins to pack up his materials. 

After another brief moment of silence, he asks suddenly, “What about you?” 

You shove another handful of pens and papers into your backpack without looking up. “What about me?” 

Seungmin makes a noise that clearly signifies he thinks you’re being obtuse on purpose, and you can feel his annoyed stare burning holes in the side of your head. 

“You know, don’t you wanna know how I feel about you? Now that I’ve had some time?” 

You freeze, swallowing, and then force yourself to resume your previous activities of packing up and getting ready to leave. 

“I mean, not really. I figure you’ll tell me that when you’re ready.” 

Lies. 

You wanna know so bad it’s driving yourself and your wolf crazy. 

You busy yourself with lining up your highlighters back in their designated case, just so your antsy fingers have something to do. 

“You know-” Seungmin states suddenly, voice even, tone neutral. “For a long time, I thought I was asexual.” Your eyes jerk up in surprise to meet his own, lips parting slightly. 

“You don’t have to-” 

He waves you off, pulling his glasses off his head and carefully folding them to stow in their case as he talks. 

“No, it’s fine. I want to.” He glances to you then, a slight smile curving his lips. “I’m supposed to be pushing myself right? Opening up so you can get to know me better?” 

You swallow and give a slight nod. 

“You know, the whole lone wolf thing from before? I didn’t really ever feel the need to be involved with anyone like that. Didn’t think I needed it, felt complete without it. And then-” He sighs, and a slight flicker of annoyance crosses his pretty features. “I met Changbin.” 

“Changbin.” You breathe in slight agreement, and your lips twitch upward a little at the other alpha’s name. “Yeah, he tends to have that effect on people.” 

“Mm.” Seungmin nods in slight agreement. “So then, I thought, well, maybe it’s just biology, but maybe I don’t really want to be alone, not quite like that. But then I think-” He considers you for a long moment. “-I met you, and we became friends, and I liked your company, but then you asked me if I could ever like you like I liked Changbin.” You cringe slightly at that. “Oh god, can we just pretend that conversation never happened?” 

“No.” Seungmin responds back immediately. He arches a brow. “It made me think you know. About myself. About what I wanted. It was good for me.” 

“Glad to help.” You mumble back, your cheeks flushed slightly in an irritated sort of hot feeling blush. 

“I considered that maybe, after you asked me that, that I was just into guys.” Seungmin admits in a softer sort of voice, but still matter of factly. 

“Oh, so it’s my gender, got it.” You retort back, avoiding his gaze. 

“No.” He shakes his head at that. “I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t really care about gender, not in the long run of things. I think I’m more into people themselves, their personalities, and how they handle mine.” “Great, so it’s just my personality then.” You blurt out, throwing out your hands now. 

“No.” Seungmin repeats a little bit more firmly, sharper. “You’re not listening to me.” 

You give a little sharp laugh at that. “It’s really fucking hard to listen to you when we’ve been studying shit that turns my brain to mush for the last four hours.” 

Seungmin’s hand covers your own, and you freeze, gaze flicking to him, mouth slightly agape, words instantly dying off. 

“I-” He says firmly, taking in a sort of shaky breath, his fingers still resting a little bit awkwardly on top of your own. “-like you. You, (Y/N). I like the way you make me feel accepted, I like that you listen to my ramblings about scientific findings, I like that you don’t push me to go further than I’m comfortable, and I like that we started as friends first, and you’ve given me time and patience to explore where this could potentially go. At my own pace.” 

You stare at him for another beat and then, “I’m sorry. If what I said in the shower made you uncomfortable.” 

His lips curve slightly at that, his nose wrinkling with the hint of a smile. “It didn’t. In fact, it kind of surprised me that I liked hearing it. Just-” He blows out a breath. “-give me some time to figure out my shit okay?” 

You nod, curling your fingers around his own. “Yeah, I can do that.” 

Seungmin nods, and removing his hand from yours, begins to move to pack away the rest of his things. “Now c’mon, I promised Jisung we’d be in time to watch a movie with him.” 

You grin, standing up and slinging your backpack over your shoulder. “It’s gonna be one of those cheesy action flicks he loves, you know that right?” 

Seungmin sighs, but his voice is filled with affectionate amusement. “Yeah, I know.” He glances at you with a lift of his brow. “But anything for our boy, right?” 

You grin back at him, knocking your arm into his as you walk. “Anything for our boy.” 

As you walk down the stairs that lead out of the library, shoulder to shoulder, he slides his hand into yours. 

[yparkwrites]

MR. DETECTIVE S.JY FF

Pairing: Detective Jake x Female reader (Y/N)

Content warnings: explicit content (smut), blood, murder, killing and more to be added

Word count: 27.6k

Synopsis: Jake is a known detective, as they transfered the case to his unit of a serial killer, Y/n a police rookie will arrive to find the truth about her brother's death and unbeknownst to them, the serial killer has been with them from the start.

Publish date: January 6, 2025

Comment for tags.

NOTE: LONG WAIT IS OVER IT IS FINALLY HERE. CHAPTER 1 -9 ARE NOW OUT ON WATTPAD. TUMBLR UPDATE WILL BE ONCE A WEEK.

Son of the mob P.SH FF Completed

MR. DETECTIVE S.JY FF COMPLETED

Chapter 6 on tuesday

Chapter 7 & 8 on friday

© 2025 Y. PARK WRITES. All Rights Reserved.

tags: @strxwbloody @dreamiestay @fancypeacepersona @heeaxvhhoon @jakeswife @evjirvninvitnvrnvirivn @candypopinluv

CHAPTER 4

1

“Find me information about that Park Y/n,” Eunyeok said, entering his newly built mansion from the money he got from the drug dealings. 

“Yes sir.” His assistant said, watching him go inside his office. 

As Eunyeok went inside his office he found his brother, waiting for him. 

“Oh Lee Heeseung, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you here.” Eunyeok said, greeting his brother. 

“Leave Jay’s little sister out of it.” Heeseung said, not wasting any time.

“Why not, it’ll be fun, besides we need someone to spy again.” Eunyeok replied, pouring whiskey on his glass. 

“Not her, she’s just 21, she’s basically still a little girl.” Heeseung argued. 

“Oh baby brother, not the girl, Jake.” Eunyeok replied back, offering a glass of whiskey to Heeseung to which he declined. 

“I don’t drink whiskey, and what do you want Jake for,” Heeseung replied. 

“To spy, I can use Y/n to make him say yes,” Eunyeok responded, taking a sip of his Macallan 1926 whiskey.

“You think Jake will say yes, if you threaten him with Y/n?” Heeseung asked, confused.

“Don’t you see it? The way he looks at her, the way he’s protecting her and the way he took her as his rookie after declining offers for 3 years just because he saw her.” Eunyeok said, smirking.

“Whatever it is that you’re thinking, you’re wrong, he must’ve promised Jay something,” Heeseung argued. “And besides, how will you threaten him? He knows a lot of things, he can threaten you back.” He added. 

Eunyeok chuckled, putting down his glass of whisky on his work desk. “Heeseung, I’m the general of our department for some reasons, and how will I threaten him? I’ll put his rookie in our prosti circle and threaten to sell her to our dealers.” He replied.

“You’re fucking crazy, and ours? It’s yours, I don’t want any of your dirty money.” Heeseung argued.

“You might be forgetting something, I made you into a chief, you should be thankful.” Eunyeok said. 

“You know what, I'd rather kiss someone’s ass than be the chief of that stupid paid department, no wonder we can’t solve that serial killer case.” Heeseung argued back as he slammed the door shut, going out of his office. 

2

It’s 3am yet Jake’s mind is still alive. He tossed and turned, but sleepiness is just not taking over him. Jake sighed, facing Y/n’s side. Smiling as he saw her sleeping peacefully, mouth a little open, soft snores coming out of it. Removing strands of her hair from her face, he observed her sleep peacefully. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save your brother.” Jake whispered silently, making sure he didn't wake her up. “I told him I’ll protect you once he accepts the job.” He added. “I should’ve told him I’ll pay for it, instead of assuring him I’ll protect you.” Jake sighed, pulling Y/n closer towards him. “You know, when you were like 5 years old, I saw you cry because Jay isn’t going to the same school as you and to make you stop crying he told you he’s getting you a plushie.” Jake said quietly. “After senior highschool, I thought we were going in the same university, but instead he wanted to take care of you, his little princess, I moved out, far from him and years later we met again, and he told me that you get sick easily, he needed money for your school, and later he told me you’re really sick and needed money for your surgery and I told him to take the job, I wished I never told him that, I felt like I failed as his trainer, I let him take the dangerous job and I wished I didn’t, I wished I told him I’ll cover the surgery and be with you.” Jake recalled. 

Jake put his arms around her and pulled her closer to his chest to hug her. “I’m sorry,” Jake whispered, apologizing, kissing the crown of her head as he remembered how much Jay had cared for her. Soon tiredness took over him and he fell asleep, hugging her tightly. 

3

Jake woke up early in the morning as he heard his alarm ringing, looking beside him, Y/n’s in the same position as last night. Turning off his alarm, he tried removing Y/n’s arms around his waist, making Y/n groan in her sleep as she kept mumbling something. Jake listened to her carefully as he tried putting his ear near her, it broke him as he heard her clearly. 

“Jay, don’t leave.” Y/n mumbled. 

“Hey little one, wake up.” Jake said, shaking her to wake her up. But she just kept mumbling for Jay not to leave her. Jake controlled his tears that’s threatening to fall, he stayed like that until he heard her snoring softly again. 

Getting up from the bed, he grabbed clothes from his closet before going inside the bathroom. 

Y/n woke up, hearing the shower running from the bathroom. Sitting up. She dreamt of Jay again, covering her face with her hands as she tried not to cry. She stayed in that position until the bathroom door lock clicked, and Jake came out of the shower. 

“Goodmorning, little one.” Jake greeted, smiling at her.

“Goodmorning,” Y/n said, getting up from the bed, to grab her towel. And as she’s about to grab her clothes, she glances at Jake’s shirt from the closet. 

“You can take any of my shirts, if that makes you feel comfortable and come to the kitchen right after you freshen up I have to ask you something.” Jake said, ruffling her hair before coming out of the room.

Jake went to the kitchen and saw Sunghoon making breakfast. 

“Who told you to move around?” Jake asked. 

“Goodmorning to you too, I’m making breakfast, your fridge is full.” Sunghoon replied, smiling.

“Take a seat, I’ll do it, you’re in pain.” Jake told him.

“No, I’m not in - ouch, what the fuck was that for!” Sunghoon retorted, looking at Jake with wide eyes.

“See you’re in pain, now sit your ass down before I poke it harder.” Jake warned Sunghoon.

“It’s been awhile since I saw your fridge full and there’s a lot of apple juice.” Sunghoon said, taking a seat as he drank his coffee.

“Yeah, Y/n insisted.” Jake replied. 

“Have you thought about what I told you last night?” Sunghoon asked. 

“What did you tell him last night?” Y/n asked as she came out of the room, drying her hair.

“Oh maybe you can drive or maybe you want a place for yourself.” Sunghoon replied, looking at Jake teasingly.

“I can drive, but a place for myself? No thank you.” Y/n replied. 

“Great, you can take my Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG,” Sunghoon responded, taking another sip of his coffee. 

“I don’t think that’s a great idea.” Jake said, interrupting the two as he handed Y/n a glass of her apple juice. 

“That’s actually a great idea.” Y/n said, nodding her head.

“See she likes it,” Sunghoon said, still teasing Jake.

“The car is way too big for her.” Jake said.

“Are you saying I’m small?” Y/n asked, glaring at Jake.

“No, it’s just that,” Jake replied, trying to think of an excuse.

Sunghoon chuckled. “Don’t worry Jake it’s not my car, it was actually Jay’s,” he said, saying the last sentence as quietly as possible. 

“Then I want it.” Y/n said, looking at Jake.

“Fine, just don’t drive recklessly.” Jake replied.

“Thank you thank you thank you!” Y/n exclaimed happily as she jumped on Jake hugging him happily. 

“You know I’m still here,” Sunghoon said, reminding them that he’s also there.

4

As Jake leaves for work, Sunghoon takes Y/n with him, so she can take Jay’s car.

“What happened to you last night?” Y/n asked, breaking the ice between her and Sunghoon.

“Nothing, I got into a fight,” Sunghoon replied, focusing his eyes on the road.

“Doesn’t seem like a fight if you got a big cut on your stomach,” Y/n affirmed, looking at Sunghoon who’s only focused on driving.

“It’s really just a fight.” Sunghoon argued. 

“What was it that you dropped?” Y/n asked, making Sunghoon divert his attention to her.

“What?” Sunghoon asked, confused.

“Last night, I heard it, before I closed the office door.” Y/n informed him. 

“It’s nothing,” Sunghoon replied. 

“Jake said, you’ll get it back.” Y/n argued. 

Sunghoon didn’t reply or argue any further as he continued driving. 

Arriving at his place, the gate opened automatically. 

“You’re rich.” Y/n said.

“I’m not, my father is.” Sunghoon asserted. 

“But it’s your place.” Y/n argued.

“Yeah, but I don’t stay here, not anymore. Too big to live alone here.” Sunghoon said.

Sunghoon guided Y/n inside. It’s a big mansion, marble tiles, white and gray tone walls, leather sofa and family portraits could be seen. 

“I can see myself living here.” Y/n said, smiling brightly.

“I would’ve offered you this place, but I know Jake isn’t gonna let it happen.” Sunghoon responded, looking at her.

“Why not?” Y/n asked. 

“Cause you put yourself in Lee’s radar, now follow me.” Sunghoon told her, walking towards the car garage with Y/n following behind him.

“Who is Lee?” Y/n asked.

“It’s better you know less, don’t dig your grave deeper than it already is, Jake will do anything to protect you, if he has to catch a bullet for you, he’ll do it no hesitation, I don’t want to lose my friend so you better stop asking about him, just focus on the case.” Sunghoon told her.

As they reached the car garage, there’s a lot of car models, ferrari, BMW, Toyota, Honda, Ford, Jeep, Chevrolet, Tesla, Porsche and more, including her brother’s Mercedes-Benz. 

“Where did you get all this?” Y/n asked.

“They’re not mine, it’s my deceased father’s cars, he got it from his drug dealings, he’s an ass, dirty money, that’s why I don’t like this place, the only reason I stayed here was because of your brother, he stayed here during the time he had to take that dangerous job.” Sunghoon responded, looking at her.

“Where’s his car?” Y/n asked.

“It’s that one,” Sunghoon informed her, pointing at the Mercedes-Benz. 

Y/n went near it, touching the car, she never remembered getting in this car, not even once, she never saw him drive it. 

“I know Jake will get mad at me for this, but I can give you the last files Jay worked with, if you’re really curious about it, and Jay left a lot of his clothes here, do you want it?” Sunghoon asked, approaching her. 

“I want all of it,” Y/n responded, as she continued to look at the car. 

“Just tell me if you want a place to yourself, I can get it, I can get the keys to your brother’s house.” Sunghoon said, making Y/n divert her attention to him.

“He doesn’t own a house,” Y/n said.

“He does, the keys are in his drawer. I can get it for you, and give you the directions, just tell me.” Sunghoon replied.

“I want everything that my brother used to own.” Y/n stated, looking at his eyes.

CHAPTER 5

1

Jake arrived at their department and everyone greeted him with a smile and he did the same thing. 

“Good morning Mr. Sim, is Y/n not coming?” Jungwon said, greeting Jake.

“Don’t be so formal, you can call me Jake, and Y/n might not come today.” Jake responded, smiling at him. A smile they haven’t seen in 3 years.

“Oh why?” Jungwon asked.

“She just has to work on something,” Jake responded. “Anyways I have a meeting to attend, if you’ll excuse me.” He added, before going inside the meeting office.

As soon as he entered he was greeted with Eunyeok’s smug grin, a smug grin he wished he could snatch away from his face.

“Ms. Y/n isn’t here today,” Eunyeok said, looking around.

“She’s not coming, I gave her work to do.” Jake responded, coldly. 

“Yeah, what type of work?” Eunyeok asked.

“That’s none of your business, now can we get to the meeting? I have important work to do after this.” Jake said, irritated. 

“Okay, so a new dead body was found this morning, at a park, and we have a weapon.” Eunyeok said, chuckling. “That serial killer finally made a mistake, Heeseung, send this to the lab,” Eunyeok said as he handed the weapon to Heeseung. 

“So where are we?” Eunyeok asked, as the meeting continued about the serial killer. “So any questions?” Eunyeok asked before ending their meeting. 

“So Y/n was right, wasn’t she,” Jake said, looking at him. 

Eunyeok chuckled, and said, “So?” 

“Apologize,” Jake said, standing up from his seat to take his leave.

2

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” Jungwon asked, seeing Y/n entering their department building. 

“Oh, I just forgot some stuff and I have to print documents,” Y/n responded.

“Y/n?” Jake asked, surprised to see Y/n.

“Hey, I have to grab my laptop and I have to print out some documents.” Y/n said, before she gets interrogated by him.

“Oh Ms. Y/n you’re here!” Eunyeok exclaimed as he saw her after coming out of the meeting office. “You were right! You’re as brilliant as your brother, why don’t you come with me and we can have a talk,” Eunyeok added. 

Y/n smiled, that soon turned into a glare, “Why? So you can get me killed or so you can put me in your prosti circle?” She asserted, approaching him slowly. His smile faded. “Don’t fucking play with me you dirty general, I’m not a weak girl, so how about instead of sending someone to tail me around, work on your case and maybe you can solve the serial killer case.” She added, Jake holding her back. 

“You know nothing you cunt,” Eunyeok said, glaring at her.

“I know a lot, that’s why your assistant is in the hospital for trying to break inside Sunghoon’s mansion.” Y/n said, shaking Jake’s grip on her arms before leaving them there speechless. 

Jake followed Y/n, “Y/N!” Jake called out. Stopping and turning around, she faced him, “I’ll make sure Sunghoon gets back what’s his.” Y/n said only loud enough for him to hear. 

Y/n left Jake speechless, as he stood there frozen. His fist clenched, what did Sunghoon tell her? 

Y/n drove back to Sunghoon’s mansion as soon as she got what she needed. Entering the mansion she saw Sunghoon cleaning the mess from earlier. 

“What are you doing here?” Sunghoon asked, confused as to why she’s back there and how she remembered the directions.

Y/n threw the evidence in front of him, the evidence she stole from their department lab. Sunghoon’s eyes widened, looking at her shock.

“I don’t know what you’re up to, but whatever it is, stop it, that’s the thing you dropped.” Y/n said, turning around to take her leave. 

Y/n started the car engine as she started driving again, towards her brother’s house. 

3

Jake stormed inside Sunghoon’s place, slamming the door open and slamming it close, startling Sunghoon who’s still cleaning the mess. 

“What the fuck happened?” Sunghoon asked, shocked to see a very mad Jake.

Jake grabbed Sunghoon by his collar and asked, “what the fuck did you tell Y/n?”

“Calm the fuck down, I didn’t tell her anything,” Sunghoon replied to Jake calmly, as he tried removing his tight grip on his collar.

“She fucking knows about Lee, more than she’s supposed to know.” Jake argued, finally letting him go.

“What?” Sunghoon asked.

“She knows about him, more than she’s supposed to, she knows everything.” Jake said.

“She was here, she knows about what happened the other night,” Sunghoon informed Jake.

“She was the one who opened the door, of course she knows about it,” Jake replied.

“No, she knows about my knife, she fucking stole it from the lab,” Sunghoon said, Jake looking at him with wide eyes.

“What do you mean?” Jake asked.

Sunghoon showed Jake the evidence Y/n had stolen from the lab, a pocket knife inside a plastic bag. 

“Goddamit, now where is she,” Jake said, ruffling his hair in frustration. 

“She’s on her way to Jay’s house,” Sunghoon replied.

“Jay doesn’t own a house,” Jake replied, looking at Sunghoon confused.

“He does, it’s somewhere far here, inside a garden, he left me the keys, and I gave it to her,” Sunghoon informed him.

Jake sighed, massaging his temple. 

“This is why she doesn’t need a car,” Jake said. “Now tell me about the assistant,” Jake said.

“Oh, Lee’s assistant, he's in the hospital, Y/n broke both his arms and maybe his nose,” Sunghoon said calmly.

“Say what now?” Jake asked him with wide eyes.

“Yeah, she almost killed him, she’s a tough one, like Jay,” Sunghoon claimed.

4

Lee slammed his office door open, seeing a file on his desk, he went to get it and read it. 

“Goddammit!” Lee exclaimed as he threw the file on the floor.

“Park Y/n who the fuck are you?” Lee asked himself, as he poured himself some whiskey. 

“Sir,” 

“What the fuck happened to you?” Eunyeok asked his assistant, seeing him all bruised with broken arms.

“That little girl did it,” his assistant informed him, as Eunyeok looked at him with wide eyes.

“What do you mean a 21 yr old did this to you? Are you fucking lying to me!? She’s a fucking tiny girl! How will she do that to you!?” Eunyeok yelled, throwing his glass of whiskey on the floor. “And what the fuck are those files!? There’s nothing!” Eunyeok yelled. 

“Sir, there’s nothing to find about Y/n, that’s all, she was in highschool and she joined the academy after her brother’s death,” His assistant replied to him. “It looks like Jay had left her something that we don’t know, that’s why she knows a lot,” his assistant added. 

“That could be something, but how is she as strong as Jay,” Eunyeok said. 

5

Y/n arrived at the place. It's a medium sized house in the middle of a garden. 

She unlocked the door, it’s a cozy home. Looking around she remembered about the time her brother asked her about her dream home.

“Princess, what's your dream home?” Jay asked as he cuddled Y/n closer to him.

“Hmmm, I want a cozy home.” Y/n replied enthusiastically, making Jay chuckled at her cute behavior. 

“Cozy home?” Jay asked, looking at her.

“Yeah, you know, not so big, but not small either, and the walls should be gray, the tiles blue, the couch beige and then there should be a nice kitchen, nice bedrooms, then on the walls family portraits, then I want a bathtub in the bathroom.” Y/n described, smiling at her brother.

Looking around the house, her tears pooling in her eyes as she realized that it’s the same description she gave her brother. 

Her tears streamed down her cheeks like a river as she saw a picture of him and her, taking the frame in her hands, she put it close to her chest as she sobbed, she remembers everything.

“It’s 8pm and your brother is still not here?” Her friend asked her.

“He must be busy,” Y/n replied sadly.

Y/n waited for her brother to come, it’s her 18th birthday. 12am when there’s a knock on her door. Y/n opened it happily, just to see Jake.

“Jake? Where’s Jay?” Y/n asked.

“Can I come in?” Jake asked, and Y/n nodded, letting Jake in.

“It’s my 18th birthday, but Jay is still not here, he told me he’ll be home by 6pm but he’s still not here,” Y/n uttered quietly.

“Happy birthday,” Jake greeted, smiling at her.

“It’s 12am,” Y/n said. “Where’s Jay though? Is he parking the car?” Y/n asked.

“Something happened during work,” Jake informed her, and she just looked at him, waiting for him to tell her what happened. “Jay was shot, during work,” Jake blurted out.

“But he’s fine right?” Y/n asked, it happened before, Jay survived during that time.

“Y/n, he was shot multiple times,” Jake said.

“Yeah, but he’s fine right?” Y/n asked, tears pooling in her eyes.

“I’m sorry Y/n, we rushed him to the hospital, but he didn’t make it, he’s gone.” Jake announced.

Tears streamed down her face, shaking her head, mumbling no’s. 

“Jay, I’m sorry,” Y/n said, hugging the frame closer to her chest as she continued to sob. 

“It’s not your fault, little one.” Jake said, hugging her from behind as he looked at Sunghoon.

“I’m gonna make them all pay for what they did,” Y/n stated. 

[mercymermaid]

to all of you complaining about the matpat/markiplier ten hour makeout scene

what, would you rather have the springtrap/matpat mpreg in that level of graphic detail? fucking sickos.

although that WOULD confirm my charlie theory-

[johnslittlespoon]

Buck + Bucky Timeline Info

For fic writers or just curious readers!

Referencing different archives and articles, I've done my best to compile John and Gale's Air Force timeline pre–England, because I feel like a lot of it gets muddied and sometimes we wanna write pre–MOTA canon events lol. Hope it comes in handy!

They meet (on or around) March 29, 1940 and become Flying Cadets at Randolph Field in Texas until August 30, 1940.

Still Flying Cadets, they move to Kelly Field in San Antonio, Texas from September 9, 1940 to November 14, 1940.

Both promoted to 2nd Lieutenant Air Corp Reserve on Nov 15, 1940. A bit unsure on the events before their next promotion, because Gale seems to have gone to Barksdale Army Air Field in LA in March of 1941 for advanced flying school, but haven't found anything on whether John went too; I'm assuming he did.

Both promoted to 1st Lieutenant, Air Corp on April 25, 1942. Not clear on whether this took place in LA or back in Texas or elsewhere.

Became instructors for the 29th Bombardment Group at McDill Air Force Field in Tampa, Florida on May 25, 1942.

Promoted to Captain and transferred to Gowan Field, Boise Idaho, but possibly at different times? All I can find is that by October they were both for sure there, but Gale was promoted to Captain on July 28, 1942 and transferred then, and John was promoted to Captain in August of 1942, but it doesn't specify when he transferred.

At Gowan Field in October of 1942, Gale was promoted to Commanding Officer for the 350th Bomb Squadron/100th Bomb Group, and John was promoted to Operations Officer for the 100th Bomb Group.

Transferred to Walla Walla Army Air Field in Washington in November of 1942.

Transferred to Wendover Army Air Field in Utah in December of 1942.

Both promoted to Majors in Sioux City, Iowa in January of 1943.

Transferred to Kearny, Nebraska (assuming to Kearney Air Force Base) in February of 1943. Cue P1 of MOTA!

In May of 1943, John traveled with an advance party to Podington, England to prepare the base for the 100th Bomb Group. On May 27 1943, Gale (with the 100th) left for Bangor, Maine. From there, he flew out across the Atlantic and arrived at Thorpe Abbotts on June 9 1943. And we know what happens from then on. :-)

If any of this is incorrect or you have extra information to add to the timeline, please let me know!! I wouldn't be surprised if I've missed things, but this is how their flight school/pre–England timeline went to the best of my knowledge. Hopefully this is helpful for some other writers too! I can throw together a timeline for their missions/events during MOTA as well if that's something anyone's interested in; it's easy enough to find mission dates in comparison to finding these pre–100th dates, but it might be nice to have them all in one place. x

[angelnumber27]

I dont think some people understand how truly awful and hellish withdrawals from some psych medications are.

[memento-morri-writes]

This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.

Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.” 

(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)

[eddiemunsonsmum]

Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.

*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*

No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.

[melancholic-pigeon]

Alright, this is my last comment on the issue, for real this time.

@nerdykeppie is staffed by unprofessional, rude, cruel people who double down on their entitlement to be unprofessional, rude and cruel in public to their former customers.

You should know the sorts of people you're giving money to if you patronize them. The founder is liable to misread your words, lash out at you in anger over something he misunderstood, and generally behave like a tantruming child even if you go out of your way to be polite and give him the benefit of the doubt when he lashes out at you over his own poor reading comprehension.

I'm done getting into this. No, Spider is not ~required~ to be professional on his (public) personal blog which is closely tied to his business. I just think it's extremely stupid to double down on his "right" to be unprofessional on his public blog when he owns a business that is clearly tied to said public blog, because it reflects very poorly on both his personal character and his business. I think it is hilariously foolish and an extremely poor decision to openly advertise and defend your founder's unprofessionalism, which speaks of general lack of professionalism and poor judgment throughout the whole business, not just from Spider (though his lack of good judgment and public unprofessionalism is the most obvious).

So. Best of luck in the people involved resolving whatever problem in their lives that they're taking out on me, and beware interacting with them in any way because they will absolutely be rude as shit to you and then smear you in public and private for (/checks hand) apologizing for a miscommunication because you didn't mean what they incorrectly interpreted you to mean.

I can't fucking believe they still think they're in the right here and *I* am the one who needs to be ~asked not to contact them again~. You answered me THREE TIMES *after* I had blocked you because you cannot let go of the fact that you were wrong about a stupid fucking plastic pumpkin and the fact that I went OUT OF MY WAY to give you the benefit of the doubt.

(two of those three asks were frantic apologies because I genuinely felt terrible, and they were both met with meanness and scorn and snide insults about my communication failures.

Lol. Me. I'm the one who is failing to communicate and has poor reading comprehension because you misunderstood me and started lashing out like I personally strangled all of your pets for having the filthy nerve to apologize and try to clear it up.

Yeah. I'm the villain here. Sure, Jan.)

I'm done now, but enjoy having your unprofessional, cruel, immature nonsense publicly exposed. I stand by my actions (the ones I actually took in real life, not the fake pretend ones you made up because you misunderstood what I wrote) and I look forward to you experiencing the natural consequences of your own.

Don't give money to childish jerks.

[oflgtfol]

i was talking to my therapist last week about how i'm kinda excited but also equally apprehensive about starting grad school this fall because yes, i so so desperately needed a gap year otherwise i think i literally would have killed myself and/or had a breakdown big enough to land me in the hospital, and even beyond that i just needed to figure out a more concrete plan of what i'm going to do with my life in general -- while all of that is true, and i'm glad i took the gap year for it, i'm also apprehensive because i genuinely feel like an entirely different person than i was even at this exact point in time last year, nevermind anything earlier than that. it's only been a single year of me being out of school but my life has changed so dramatically, mostly for the better, and my whole personality has flipped on its head, it's just going to be so fucking weird going back to the same school, the same campus, potentially seeing my old friends around. augh

[none-tadashi-left-hiro]

I literally don’t know how to talk about and process this without sounding like some sort of weird incel but maybe that’s what’s going on

[moe-broey]

Man. I do love when the character is Scared and fucking MAD ABOUT IT. Going from crying and cowering to snapping and biting the MOMENT a hand is extended to them. Trying to help them or otherwise just work with them somehow and the entire fucking time they're kicking and screaming and complaining and being disparaging and stuck up and just kind of a brat about it. ASSUME HARMFUL INTENT BY DEFAULT, get THEM before they GET YOU‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ And NEVER trust a helping hand ESPECIALLY when it feeds you.

[twopoppies]

.

[lixbf]

ive been playing so much hades 2 atp i feel like the first Big early access patch is gonna legit change my life....

[averlym]

a word to the wise sometimes the only true rest is looking beyond what you thought was success

so true! adamandi is full of wise advice such as this, including: "and you'll never feel better if you - fucking die- you stupid ass!"

[helianskies]

ugly maths.

i hate maths, right. i don't usually like numbers, and if i do like numbers it's gotta be an 8 or a 48 and nothing else.

thing is, i've recently caught myself doing maths again. ugly maths. the kind of maths that, really, i've been trying to avoid as much as possible because, well, it's ugly!

you... wanna see?

okay, fine... but don't say i didn't warn you!

ugly, see? look at all those numbers! not a 48 in sight!

huh? what's that? you don't see what i'm on about? oh... oh! hang on, lemme just—

better? yes? no? no? okay, what if i—

mmh, yes. ugly numbers. see it now? can you see why they're ugly?

here, i can make it worse.

these numbers are ugly. the maths they make me do is ugly.

now i'll level with you: the worst ones by far are the yellow numbers. the maths they make me do it the ugliest.

why ugly?

because it makes me ugly.

those numbers turn me into not only a suddenly number-obsessed fool, but a fool who also cannot understand these numbers and what they mean and why i feel like they reflect on me and my ability.

87, 75.

the thoughts are as follows:

• the orange numbers are big, so why are you being ugly about the yellow ones? you should be happy with what you have. so many nice big numbers! not everyone receives that.

• is it that there are two different audiences for these two different fics? perhaps. they are quite different works, with different appeals, and different themes. maybe you are reading too much into it.

• why are you obsessing over numbers anyway? you don't like maths! you left maths behind when you were 16, put it down!

okay, okay, fine! i'll put the maths down. right here, in fact!:

that 87 was an 83 at the start of the year. the 6161 it is attached to was a 5453.

4, 708.

ugly maths.

the 75 is a nice number. in fact, compared to 87, it is beautiful, radiant, enchanting. at the start of the year, 75 was 48. wow. now that is one sexy number!

27.

mmmm.

6161, 1061.

5100.

87, 75.

12.

mmmm.

you know, my most favourite comment left recently on a fic of mine was 2 characters long: :(

it made me :)

well, actually, it made me >:) because it was left in response, presumably, to one of the key scenes in a new chapter which left the exact impression on someone that i hoped it would.

they must be the only one who reacted like that, though.

1.

have i mentioned that that 87 and 75 include author responses?

i won't try to do more maths, there. it might not end well for me. the maths is making me tired enough as it is, and i have an early start tomorrow.

oh! but, that being said, i have another set of ugly numbers to show you, so keep 87 and 75 in mind.

ready?

838, 245.

(want a hint? the green numbers!)

838, 87. 245, 75.

9.6, 3.3.

ugly maths. it's ugly again, see? i don't like it. i'm seeing numbers within numbers within numbers, and i can't seem to stop!

the numbers make me ask new questions:

• why is it not good enough?

• people seem to engage more with one fic over the other, so shouldn't you prioritise?

• is all this maths this really good for you?

no, it isn't.

i want to avoid ugly maths. ugly maths makes me want to tear my hair out. it makes me want to start from scratch. it makes me want to grab someone and scream. it makes me want to cry and press a button that has tempted me many times before when the numbers become too ugly to bear.

ugly maths turn me into an ugly person.

ugly maths make me obsessive, paranoid, anxious, regretful, vindictive, spiteful, alone.

i hate maths. i hate numbers, just like, it feels, the numbers hate me.

[cuteniarose]

Incorrect quotes generator shenanigans featuring the OCs @katkastrofa and I fucking SPEDRAN creating over the past two days, part 3, because I realised I had enough screenshotted to make another full post :)