#sometimes they cause complications that literally kill people

[angelnumber27]

I dont think some people understand how truly awful and hellish withdrawals from some psych medications are.

[daydreamerdrew]

The Incredible Hulk (1968) #253

[deadghosy]

☆BEING MATTHEO’S CHILDHOOD FRIEND TO LOVER ☆ male version||female version

COMPLETELY protective over you ever since childhood. He literally fought a kid back then because they didn’t like that you were a “girl” playing boy games with them. You were sensitive back then, so of course you cried to mattheo about it. And mattheo did something about it. He punched the kid and stole their teddy bear to give it to you.

He asks you about girl things so he can flirt and treat a girl better. You could be literally reading a romance book, and he wants to learn too. Please teach him or else he’s gonna whine about losing another girl.

“Sooooo what does a girl like for a guy like me to tap that ass…cause I got a girl on my roster..” mattheo says sliding by you in the library table you sat in. You were literally getting to the good part of where the two main characters were gonna kiss. “Why are you asking me these questions riddle…” you say with venom in your tone towards his last name. Mattheo frowned. “Actually my name from you is Matty, Matt, and matty bear. So please—”

“—Please kill yourself and never let your soul rest after.” You say getting up from the library table and walking away. Mattheo’s jaw drop as he followed you offended. He never interrupted your reading time ever.

When your period comes…he’s asking you “what the fuck that is” and “why is it hurting you” with a frown. He’s thinking he can solve it like any other with a wave of his wand…but it’s more complicated when you explained how your uterus is shredding itself and that’s all you can get out before mattheo started to gag and leave your dorm room like the overdramatic king he is.

He still loves you dearly so he got you tea and some materials you need for the rest of your week.

Sometimes when you two have a sleepover, which is just either of you two sneaking into the girls dorms or the boys. You two gossip like little girls ready to rip someone’s heart out.

Mattheo is 50/50 on you doing makeup on him. But if you really plead and want to do it. He’s gonna let you. He can’t say no to you sadly.

A guy had broken your heart once, so he broke his face in…and broke his dick. Don’t ask.

Couple of girls hated how close you were to Mattheo. He’s a handsome guy, so of course people may spread rumors around. And Mattheo doesn’t really like that, he’s going to the girl and showering her how equal rights have hands.

If you two ever argue, it leads to Mattheo apologizing first. He’s a sucker for you, he doesn’t know why. He just doesn’t want you to be mad at him.

It’s even worst when you talk to anyone else than him.

When you fully ignore him, no texting, no calling, not even talking to you in public and being by you makes him go insane. He’s smoking in the courtyard. Jaw tightened as he eyes you across. He can tell that you know he is staring. He can tell you know indeed when you shift a lot.

The way you feel his burning gaze on you, it made you feel warm. You always loved mattheo, but with him always “going after” girls…you just thought that maybe he wouldn’t love you back.

Jealousy is something mattheo has built into him. He doesn’t know why, so when a ravenclaw student tried to ask you out. He couldn’t stand it. He had to take you away. He couldn’t bare to lose you. He ushered you away from the student, taking you to an empty classroom. He couldn’t handle not being near you, he hated it the most. You are his other part.

He hates it.

“I don’t know who that guy was. But you’re mine. Okay? You’re mine, you always have been even if we both didn’t recognize it. Shit, I know I’m dumb to think to just push my feelings away from you. But I can’t help but love how you are so amazing…” he says slowly at the end. Kissing your head and closing his eyes. You smile slowly. Your heart swell with warmth, taking a deep breath in as you wrapped your arms around him too. You loved him just like how he loves you. He loves you as if you were the made the creation of his favorite food. He loved you like making new potions. He loved you like music to his ears.

He always has been a gentleman before you two dated. He made sure he opened doors for you. He made sure you were comfortable with things. He would even sacrifice his cloaks if you were cold.

He’s like a puppy in love as he just lights up seeing you.

He loves his girl very much. You are the prettiest thing he could ever ask and give for.

[checkertrains]

I WANT TO HEAR MORE ABOUT CHARLIE IN YOUR AU, she’s so interesting, please??!!

Omg I did not see the notification for this at all SO sorry for making ya wait so long 😭😭, I’m so glad you like her!! There’s a lot of stuffs I had planned for her in this au, and I am planning on making a fic for it in the future!

I could give ya some fun fact about lil Char char in this Au!

-as it has been written in the pic, she is a lot more confident and got most of her act together compare to our normal Charlie, she’s been raised without much shelter, and she does know Heaven isn’t exactly a well balanced place, but she still think it’s better to redeem people than just killing them senselessly. She is also working on a way to kill them that doesn’t erase them from existence, and instead make it so that when kill they can reincarnates and basically have a fresh start at life. She haven’t made much progress cause humans souls are complicated and dealing with them in bigger numbers is even more of a pain in the ass lol

-KOH Charlie is well trained when it comes to beating people ass, and unlike our normal Charlie, Hell doesn’t ridiculous her at every chance they get. Because she does not stand being disrespected like that and would make it known who she is (often with a little scare, she still doesn’t like to resort to violence), and also mostly cause Adam and Luci would probably skin and torture each one that does dare disrespect her (much to Charlie annoyance)

-Charlie knows Vaggie (or Agatha in this Au) is a exorcist from the beginning, and still she lend her hand and bring the injured Angel home regardless, an injured person is still a injured person after all. And it took an embarrassing amount of time for the two of them to realized they have feelings for each other lol, it all work out in the end, not without some bumps in the road of course but yeah. Charlie and Agatha is literally a match made in Hell❤️ Agatha is the brain and the thinker in the relationship, she’s a lot more cool down compare to when she was still a exorcist, Charlie is the heart and soul in the relationship, she make sure both of them don’t push themselves too far (even tho she’s a hypocrite about it sometime LMAO) and she provides the emotions sides to Agatha plans and ideas.

I’m still brainstorming a design for Agatha but hopefully I’ll be able to give her one that fit, I’m still debating on what to do for the other residents of the hotel too agh….once again I’m so happy you’re interested in my lil au 😭😭🙏🙏‼️‼️💚💚

[rubendiasthoughts]

Okay, literally one person said to post it today, and maybe like 3 people liked the post of me asking, but that's all the convincing I need, apparently 😂 It's yours 💙

Ruben Dias as a boyfriend part five - headcanon:

- Can you imagine what it would be like to watch Ruben while he's working out??! He would be wearing shorts and a tank top, or even better he would be shirtless 🤭 Sweat dripping off of him, you would just be sitting there, watching his every move. I feel like he would tease you about it - maybe he would say something along the lines of "you're drooling baby" and a smirk would appear on his face as he sees your cheeks turning red. And maybe if you are not there, he would sometimes send you little videos of him working out, similar to those he posts sometimes. He would probably say "getting stronger for you". And you would be like "well you don't have to do that for me", and then he would say " I do, cause I want to always be able to protect you".

- When you two go shopping, he always gets inside the dressing room with you, sits on the little seats that they usually have in there and he watches you try on the things you picked out, giving you his opinion on them.

- You two would probably have matching bracelets or something like that. He got them with his friends, so he definitely wants to have something like that with you.

-If you ever accidentally hurt yourself, maybe get a little cut on your finger while cooking or bump into something and get a bruise or something like that, Ruben would say "you gotta be careful, don't want my girl getting hurt" and then he would kiss it better. If it was a cut he would for sure put a bandage on for you.

- He would definitely be the kind of boyfriend to kill spiders for you and he wouldn't be annoyed that you ask him to every time you see one. After he's done he would say "don't worry angel, I took care of it".

-I feel like he is the type to give you soft, little touches every time he passes by you. Like when you are chilling on the couch and he walks in, he leans in to give you a forhead kiss, he would playfully slap your ass when he walks by you while you are washing dishes or he would gently stroke your hair and put a lost strand of it behind your ear when he walks in and you are sitting at the table.

-When he wakes up and you are still asleep he would sometimes wrap his arms around you from behind and place a kiss on your shoulder before getting out of bed and getting ready to start his day.

- When he is away he would always try to call you before you go to bed, just to wish you sweet dreams and hear your voice. Sometimes that would get complicated because of times zones and stuff, but he would always try his best. When he is not able to call he would sent you a text though, just saying something like "wish you were here" or maybe "dream of me, sweet girl". And during the day, he would sent you little texts too, when he gets a chance. He would remind you to take good care of yourself and just check on you - asking things like " Have you eaten today? " or maybe "Slept well? " or maybe just "is my girl ok? ".

-You know the little juices he makes for himself. The good girlfriend you are, you would sometimes make them for him in the morning, he would thank you with a kiss on your cheek when you are handing it to him.

-When you are out with your friends, maybe having a girls night or something he would tell you not to call an Uber to drive you home but instead just call him and he'd come and pick you up. Because he wants to make sure you get home safe. He wouldn't even mind if it was late and he had to be up early - your safety is his priority.

-If you had a car, he would definitely check your tire pressure for you, he would take your car to the mechanics for you and all that other stuff that you need to do with your car (sorry I'm literally the worst driver and know nothing about cars, don't know why they gave me a driver's license).

-When you are out, maybe at a club or something, and there is no place left for you to sit he would pat his lap for you to sit on it. Maybe it's just me but this screams soft dom to me!! It's literally like a combination of a dominant and a golden retriever boyfriend - and that's so Ruben!!!

-Okay but can you imagine the sounds that would leave this man's mouth when you are sucking him off?? Just imagine him sitting on the couch, his head thrown back, you sitting on your knees in front of him. He would put his hand on the top of your head, pushing you down on his length from time to time. That man would be letting out the hottest groans. He would say stuff like "That's a good girl. Fuck, take me deeper baby". And when he looks down at you he would say " Look so pretty with my cock in your mouth, such a slut for me". I feel like he would love to cum on your face, seeing you covered in his cum would be so hot to him, he would probably call you his messy girl as he helps you clean up too.

You can share your thoughts on this with me if you would like to ❤

[tobiasdrake]

Do you think Anakin Skywalker's redemption balances out the evils of Darth Vader? I ask because sometimes I think about it, and it seems disproportionate to think that killing one old fuck who was harming a blood family member makes up for murdering people indiscriminately for decades. But maybe that's just cynical thinking on my end.

I have such complicated feelings about the redemption of Darth Vader. Because. Like. Star Wars and I do not get along well on a pretty fundamental level. Despite being built on a pretty simple basis of White-and-Black morality - White Hats and Black Hats with very little nuance or moral complexity between - I don't think Star Wars as it exists today really gets morality.

Here's the thing.

At the time it was written, within the scope of what Star Wars originally was, it made sense.

Star Wars was not designed to be this massive multimedia franchise with hundreds of entries and elaborate storylines starring every single character ever to appear for even five seconds. It was not made to be the story of a vast universe with no true main character.

Star Wars was made to be the story of Luke. It's a Chosen One space opera faerie tale about a young boy receiving a call to adventure, discovering great power within himself, and finding his place in the world.

Vader's redemption, as originally written, wasn't about Vader. It was Luke's catharsis; His reward for resisting the temptations offered by both Obi-Wan and the Emperor and instead choosing mercy. Luke ends his story by putting faith in his father's love for him. Vader's redemption is his reward for choosing to believe in better angels.

Strictly within the context of The Story of Luke Skywalker And Nothing Else, Vader's redemption works.

But Star Wars isn't the story of Luke Skywalker and nothing else anymore. Now it is about the vast universe of characters and ideas. This transition has resulted in a lot of friction because the original trilogy made choices that work for The Story of Luke but are not conducive to horizontal storytelling.

Like. The idea of the Jedi being gone, that Luke is the "last hope" for the Jedi because there's literally nobody left but him and Leia? Yeah. Writers have been going "NO HE DIDN'T SAY THAT YOU'RE WRONG" pretty much since the EU began. The original trilogy said no other Jedi but we want to have Jedi characters in stories we write so the original trilogy gets told to go fuck itself.

There are like eighty billion Jedi running around the Imperial Era now. Nobody actually died in the Purge 'cause not being able to write Jedi characters isn't fun.

And. Unfortunately. One of those problems is Vader. Because if he's not just Luke's cathartic reward for believing in his father's love? If we have to actually engage with this man as a "real" person within the context of a universe? Then. Uh. Yeah, he's Patient Zero for unsatisfying lightswitch redemptions.

The problem, the fundamental problem underpinning Vader's redemption, is that he doesn't change in any meaningful way.

There was a bit of that already present in the original redemption. In Empire Strikes Back, Vader wanted Luke to join him and then they'd kill the Emperor together. In Return of the Jedi, Vader joins Luke and then kills the Emperor for him. Right from the get-go, he already wanted to kill the Emperor with Luke; It's only the context surrounding the act that's different.

Within the Story of Luke, it nonetheless works because Luke receives his father's love and approval without compromising his, Luke's moral values to get it. His father kills the Emperor and dies for him, which is super meaningful from Luke's (and only Luke's) perspective.

But as the series grew, Vader's redemption became further devalued. Revenge of the Sith told us that this is a man whose road to wickedness came about when he threw away everything he loved, when he murdered the people in his court, out of a violent and desperate love for his family. For his family, he will betray his own side and slaughter those he was meant to be loyal to. That is the action that brought him to where he is today.

That. Uh. That makes it feel a lot less impactful when he suddenly betrays his own side and slaughters the Emperor for Luke. Like. I don't know how Palpatine didn't see that coming when it's just Anakin doing the thing that made him Vader in the first place.

There is a point to be made that Anakin's love for his family up to that point was possessive and violent. In jealousy and rage, he choked Padme to death. He cut off Luke's hand. This is not a man who loves his family well. But Return of the Jedi doesn't undercut that in any meaningful way. He can be violently possessive of his family and stab anyone who looks at them funny; These two things don't contradict each other.

This man butchered children and lightsaber dueled Obi-Wan because he was mad about his family. Did Palpatine really think he wasn't going to huck him down a reactor shaft for literally the exact same reason, no difference whatsoever?

But that's only the tip of the iceberg, because the developing Star Wars universe makes another significant point about Vader dying for Luke: In the grand scheme of things. Like. Who gives a shit whether or not he loves his son? Insufficiently loving his family is the least of Vader's transgressions.

As early as Attack of the Clones, we see that Anakin Skywalker is a violent fascistic monster with a propensity for genocide. The Clone Wars cartoon does a phenomenal job of portraying Anakin's gradual seduction into fascistic systems of belief.

Anakin loves the idea of keeping peace via brutal military dictatorship. He has "fun" political chats with Tarkin about the merits of a galactic police state. He's emotionally abusive and violently possessive of his secret wife. He slaughters children who've done nothing to him without hesitation, sometimes because he's pissed off at other members of their family and sometimes 'cause that's just the price of keeping peace yo.

Hell, even his desire to kill Palpatine and make his family into the official galactic monarchs gets reframed into something he's wanted since Revenge of the Sith. That wasn't even a reaction to meeting Luke; he's legit wanted to supplant Palpatine with a Skywalker Dynasty forever. And we're supposed to take it as a major act of repentance when he ultimately stabs Palpatine for Luke? This man has been trying to stab Palpatine for Luke for twenty years.

All of this context makes Vader's redemption difficult to swallow in the grand scheme of things. He lived as an unrepentant brutal fascist monster guilty of multiple acts of genocide, chomping at the bit to betray his master for the sake of his family. He died as an unrepentant brutal fascist monster guilty of multiple acts of genocide who betrayed his master for the sake of his family. And the best thing that can be said of him is that he accepted Luke's lifestyle choices in the end.

A sweet moment for Luke, yet far from an inspiring transformation of a vile man into a hero - but which nonetheless inspired a thousand unsatisfying, terrible copycats.

[lullabyes22-blog]

Sometimes I feel like one of those cats that isn’t yours but, instead of occasionally leaving mice or birds by your door, I drop a wholeass AU at your feet.

I have another one :D it’s kind of a wild ride, I do apologize in advance for the essay XD

I simply call this The Robot AU (It’s a little more complicated from robots, they’re more of a horrific combination of mechanical and flesh all stemming back from the supernova-ed remains of a dead god)

By far the strangest one is Sevika as her origins are complicated leading to a unique upbringing. She is something called a Disasembaler, but more than that she is of a phased out subtype called ‘The Constructed’ people who were built in factories instead of developing on the mycelium-like root system or being born to parents. The Constructed are most commonly made during war time or a time of high economic stress to keep up with a high demand for soldiers or workers if supply is dwindling, a key draw to them is that they are already in adult forms, with developed brains and functioning bodies and pre-existing coding, meaning they don’t have to be trained.

Sevika’s particular branch was made specifically to be killing machines as their name would suggest. They were created by Piltover to quell one of the first uprisings, the squadrons that were made were launched into the city via individual shuttles meant to both carry the person inside to their desired location and to cause as much damage to the infrastructure as possible. 

Sevika was an interesting case because her pod didn’t open and instead of self-destructing, due to faulty wiring, she instead went dormant for several melinia until one day it spat her out. Sevika never really had a childhood, she was “born” an adult, while her brain was technically fully developed she understood the world about as well as a newborn. Being seen as a boogie-man and the literal face of death she wasn’t exactly perceived well, leading to feelings of alienation and building resentment, these were later weaponized by Silco to get her on his side. 

Though Sevika was given the nickname “the dragon” due to a slight defect in her waste disposal system. Usually the waste produced takes the form of liquid that once it hits the air it turns into a colorless, odorless gas expelled along openings along various parts of the body, most of them are located along the back. However, hers invade into the ventilation chamber and have holes in them, having not not fully been processed the liquid is red. This then spills into her ventilation chamber causing her to constantly express a highly flammable gas. 

Silco is something called a “Firstborn” which comes directly from the mycelium-like structures, one of two things happens to them, they are taken to group homes or adopted into families, the former happened to him. (it's nothing really official people can basically go to "the baby spot" and pick out a child the way someone does a pastry) ironically people like this are seen as more pure as they are believed to be more closely connected with their god. After being drowned and exposed to the Pilt’s toxins the metal covering his face began to be eaten away by “red rot” or by its better known name, rust. 

He hides this with a porcelain mask, it used to be just white but he allowed Jinx to decorate it and never painted over. If you were to take it off that the rust has eaten away part of his face plate allowing for the intricate metal structures and delicate inner workings (which would usually be protected by said face plate) to be exposed. The rust has also started to spread to the inner workers leading to more and more difficulty with mauvering that side of his face. (think: chewing, smiling, blinking, and even movement of the eye itself)

If you look at his left hand you’ll notice that he’s missing his pinky finger. This is courtesy of Sevika.

Jinx is something called a Derivative. These are people who were born to parents rather than being made in a factory or coming from the “original source”. As she is younger and is the next generation she reflects a newer, sleeker design. Most notably her face is a screen able to project a typical face or can replace her expressions with emoticons. She’s upgraded herself multiple times installing weapon systems, however this altering has become something of an addiction, to the point of being akin to self mutilation.

With the need to constantly change she is almost unrecognizable from the girl she used to be, one might notice that she was trying to mimic Silco in her younger years, but is now starting to try her own aesthetics. 

It’s also not recommended for a growing person to undergo so many drastic changes such as weapon installments, leading to her having stunted growth and some internal deformities similar to Sevika’s. However instead of spitting focus fluid into her lungs she simply bleeds into them leading to the formation of crystalline structures which inhibit her breathing.

Vi (as Jinx’s sister) looks very similar to how Jinx used to look before her modifications. However, something that is to be noted is that her gauntlets are not something she can slip on and off, they are now a permanent part of her. She is still trying to figure out how to live with big ass hands.

Mel is by far the one who underwent the most change other than Jinx. She started as a war machine like her mother with heavy armor and internal weapon systems. However when she was banished she rid herself of her heavy armor for something sleeker and removed her weapon systems. This was to her mother’s disapproval but ya know…. It’s kind of the point. 

A staple of Piltover is to have over the top modifications. (think outfits from the capitol in hunger games, except permanent) whereas the people who live in Zaun can’t afford these types of changes (except if they do it themselves and if they do they tend to try to bulk-up for greater protection).

I welcome all your AUs they are like delicious treats for my brain to chew on 😭💗💗💗

Oooh this is a fascinating one - especially given all the chem-modifications and body augmentations already present in Zaun, all of which are deeply cyberpunk-dystopia.

I like the idea of Jinx's crystals inhibiting her breathing - a secondhand metaphor for the trauma that inhibits her full growth. Imagine Sevika as exuding fiery spume every moment - she would legit shimmer at a distance like a heat mirage on the highway. Also someone should draw Mel's upgraded armor I am sure it's pure gold - literally 💫

Also imagine Fortiche animating all this in Angel's Egg art style 🥺👀

[flower1622]

Even though i like to read stories where the girl is the guy's entire world (including the ones from Percabeth...just sometimes. Not much into PJO fanfics despite writing many fanfics from this fandom), i think it's kind unfair to the other characters that helped to build the heroes as they are now.

Like, for some fans and even authors:

. Lois is more important to Clark than his own mother.

. Annabeth is more important to Percy than his own mother or best friend.

. Hinata is more important to Naruto than anything else

. Padme is more important to Anakin than anything in the entire galaxy.

"If something happens to them, the heroes would turn evil"

In fanfics yes, but in real stories...complicated to say.

The reasons the heroes turned evil weren't 100% because of them.

. Clark not only lost his wife, but also his child and his city. He felt very guilty for killing the woman he loves. There are many versions of Superman, but in his situation...well, i guess his emotions are different from humans. Clark sees Lois as his favourite human because of her flaws. I used to ship them a lot, but then i saw how Lois reminded me another charater. So, i stopped consuming their stories together. But, one thing is a fact, it doesn't matter if Lois dies, the real Superman would never turn evil. He may have his dark side, but Superman is still Clark Kent. He values his morals a lot. If Lois became a villain and he had to stop her, he would. The best example of Superman losing Lois is Kingdom Come.

. Anakin was a slave, he was taken to become a jedi very young, away from his mother. He had to repress many feelings due to jedi codes. He was always a little insecure. So, when his mother died it caused a big trauma on him and he didn't want the same thing to happen to his wife. Padme only became his anchor because he felt excluded and lonely due to his insecures that were never worked during the story. If Padme tried to convince him to talk to Obi Wan or something like that, maybe the story would have a different ending for the couple. Padme was smart and couldn't see that her husband was suffering and needed emotional help? I guess even ashoka could be a better help for Anakin than any other character. They kinda created a bond between them. I don't consume star war stuffs that much either.

. Naruto lost his control when Pain stabbed Hinata because he was already feeling many bad emotions after everything that happened. To Naruto, what really matters is the village, even when its people were horrible to him. He always had other priorities outside Hinata. Naruto is that person that cares about everyone equally. From i could see, no one is more important than the other for him...maybe only Sasuke. Serious. That man wants to spend more time with his best friend than any other person, even his own family. So, yeah. If Hinata died or even became a villain, Naruto would move on or would defeat her. If Naruto is able to fight Sasuke to protect the village, Hinata is not out of the question either.

. This one is based on comments that i saw on internet.

I may not be a big fan of this couple anymore, but i still read some stories with dark percy. But, in canon, i know that the real Percy wouldn't turn evil because of a girl. The real one would value his family and friends more than anything. He literally would be a second version of Naruto. Everything Percy did or does for Annabeth, he would do for anyone else. He was willing to risk his life for others. He would get pretty mad if something happened to his family and friends. Percy will always have Grover to remind him of who he is...of the person Sally would be proud of. Sally is able to risk everything for him, even stay with a horrible man for years only to protect her son. She's been with Percy during his entire life. Then, he meets a girl and BANG! She becomes the most important thing to him? I don't get it. "But, Sally is a human and Grover a satyr." I know, i understand. More reason for them to be important to Percy because together, they complete each other. They bring different perspectives. Even though Percy needs someone from the demigod life like Nico, Clarisse, Jason, Frank, Hazel, Leo, Connor, Thalia and many others (including Annabeth, but not only her) because they would help him with the side he has more difficulties to understand, he also needs to be reminded of his human side (Sally, Elle, Paul, Rachel) and that there aren't only demigods and humans (Dionysus, Hera, Grover, Apollo...). He needs all the diversity he can get to have a better understanding of his life...and mature with all the knowledge learned during his journey as a hero, as a human, as a friend, as a boyfriend and as a brother.

Even Goku has other people outside his family to keep him grounded. So, it's not only about romantic relationships. It's about the bonds the characters have with others that can determinate his future maybe.

Example: If Percy didn't have Sally or Grover, he could have turned out like Luke.

If Naruto didn't have his few friends, Iruka and that guy from the restaurant (i forgot many things), he would have turned out like Obito.

If Goku didn't hit his head or didn't have his friends with him, he could have been evil.

If Clark was created by evil people or didn't have his family, maybe he would have turned out a little different.

If Anakin didn't have his mother, maybe he would have turned to the dark side faster or maybe he would have commited ☠... who knows?🤔

[ask-spooky-manor]

Toby Character Headcanons

So I was tagged with a list of questions for me to answer that I reblogged, and while none of them were sent in my inbox, I still wanted to answer some cause they were really interesting.

Trigger Warning: I do talk about how abuse has affected Toby and how it has left some long lasting scars mentally and emotionally speaking. Not all of the headcanons are like that though, just be cautious. Nothing too in detail but can be uncomfortable

Clothing style

Toby’s style is like mixing grunge with cottagecore (goblincore is what it’s usually called). He likes his knitted sweaters and earthy tones, but at the same time he enjoyes ripped jeans and chunky black boots that can basically double as a weapon.

Eating Habits

Toby has a massive appetite. You will always catch him with a snack in his hands or complaining that he’s hungry despite having eaten a full meal not ten minutes ago. He just really likes food, and people in the house know to give him an extra serving for dinner

Hobbies

Music is more of a passion so tinkering around and making little gadgets is probably his number one hobby. He mainly likes to make things that blow up. Other general hobbies he has are cooking, hiking, uhhhh arson, and drawing

Fighting Style

He’s fully aware that he’s not the strongest or fastest or even has the most endurance, but Toby is extremely clever and crafty. He thinks way outside of the box and relies heavily on all of his odd little gadgets and inventions to surprise an enemy like smoke bombs, traps, loud fire crackers, you name it. He is an unpredictable fighter because you’ll never know what he has up his sleeves, and the surprise is something he will very much use against you. Not to mention that when he’s stuck in a sticky situation, he’s really good at coming up with on the spot plans that will get him out of trouble.

Ways he says I love you

Well, he will just say it. Toby won’t shy away from using the L word on anyone he even mildly likes. Though another way he shows it is through encouraging his loved ones to take care of themselves. He will make sure you eat properly, sleep well, take your meds, etc. Also hugs, Toby is a hugger.

Introvert or Extrovert

Extrovert, which surprised him when he realized it. Toby thought he was introverted for the longest time when in reality he was just dealing with a lot of nasty people who made him feel unsafe. Being alone felt safer, but at the same time it made him miserable because he naturally gains more energy with good people around. Ending up in the manor was the best thing to happen to him because now he has buddies he can spend time with like all the time.

Religious or Non-religious?

Complicated as fuck. He was raised Christian only to kind of despise organized religions as a whole. He would say he’s an atheist if he didn’t live with a literal moon god (Ben), so now he just has a beef with gods in general (Except Ben, they’re chill). Basically he thinks about how if these beings really are all powerful, all kind, all forgiving and omniscient and good then why the fuck did none of them help him? Why did it reach a point where he killed his own father? Why was he never saved? Basically, the idea of there being a higher power gets him in a bitter mood. Best to avoid the subject altogether.

Something he could never forgive.

Toby is generally a forgiving person but the one thing he could never forgive is when someone takes advantage of the kindness he is willing to give. Classmates did it in school as a way to bully him, and his dad would sometimes guilt trip favors out of him (usually to sneak him more beer, which will end up biting Toby in the ass when facing his drunk dad later on). Just the general act of trying to manipulate Toby, knowing they can toy with the heart he wears on his sleeve, is enough for him to want that person dead.

Something that scares him.

For the small, irrational fear; Toby is afraid of the dark. It’s just a childhood fear that he never really got over. It’s fine if he’s with someone but being alone in the dark will put him in fight or flight mode. For the bigger existential shit: dreads the idea of everyone secretly hating him. His own father and peers have created this idea in Toby’s mind that there is nothing good about him. That his own existence is nothing but a burden on others, so there’s always this fear that his friends and even his own boyfriend don’t actually like him and that it’s all a front. He knows that realistically that’s not true, but it’s hard fighting against a toxic mindset that was pushed into his brain at such a young age.

Did he grow up too fast?

No, thankfully. It was Lyra who had to grow up too fast. Connie did her best, she really did, but there have been a lot of times where it was Lyra who had to care for Toby. Especially after really bad nights where their dad thought having one more bottle wouldn’t be a problem. Toby was unlucky enough to have been surrounded by people that were cruel to him, but thanks to Lyra and his mom he at least was able to be a kid from time to time.

[boo-trekking]

Romulan Wedding Traditions: a headcanon ramble

I’m back again with a half baked Romulan take. I think they’re weddings probably still has some similarities to the Koon-ut-kal-if-fee. Except instead of duking it out on the hot sands of a dessert planet with the champion picked by your fiancé, it’s a little more complicated.

First off Romulus is described to be “a lush, humid world abundant with vegetation and large bodies of water”

So I’m thinking swamps and jungles (a Romulan on a fan boat makes my brain go brrrrrrr), where it’s easy to hide and challenging to hunt.

So on your wedding day no matter what your fiancé will present you with a challenge and that challenge is to hunt someone that they’ve picked but you don’t know who, and you bring them back to the specifications of your fiancé. So if they want them alive, you might just tie them up, but if they want them dead you might have to bring back their head or something. A real challenge is when they say dead or alive.

And then the trick of it is that the person they choose is someone you could really want dead, but you know your fiancé wants alive, like for example the fiancé’s ex. Do you show your fiancé how brutal you are by bringing back the head of the one who may have stood in your way, or do you hog tie the son of a bitch and pout about it? Either way it sets the tone for the marriage.

Also it’s not really guaranteed that you’d bring them back alive if asked, because traditionally you are meant to kill the one your fiancée picks, but more modern sentiments have made way for change.

So if your fiancé sends you after her father and asks that he not die, you only really have to bring him back. If you’re polite, you’ll say that he slipped and drowned and you weren’t able to revive him and everyone will look the other way at the strangulation marks on his neck. Or if you really are cruel you will bring him back and shoot him dead in front of your fiancé. And either way you are getting married.

The only way to get out of a marriage is to not bring back the one the fiancé picked. So let’s say you have the entire 25 hour cycle of the day to get this person. You could decide just to camp out, or miss your shot and if you can avoid finding the person and comeback empty handed then no marriage.

Or on the fiancé’s end they could request someone too hard to get/someone that doesn’t exist. I like to think it used to be in fashion to request someone who was dead. Until some dude who was really in love with his fiancé decided to say fuck it and broke in the family crypt and carefully exhumed and carried his fiancé great grandmother to the ceremony. Everyone’s horrified and a little grossed out (because the ggma had been dead long enough for decomposition to start), but the fiancé is laughing so hard.

Because she actually did want her great grandmother there, they were very close. She didn’t want to marry this guy cause she just didn’t want to get married yet, she was nervous. But here’s this guy who is lovingly cradling her ggma in his arms. He literally brought the only person who would’ve soothed her into this. And she gladly married him, and they immediately bring the ggma back, and then the trend falls out of fashion cause ew wtf.

It’s also a big deal to be the one the fiancé picks. I would call it an honor but you could possibly die so. It’s considered a big social faux pas to refuse to be the one hunted out right but there are ways to get out of it if you feel like you might die. Some people take on an extra stint of military service (not that it’s voluntary, but maybe they’ll be taking on a tour they could’ve sat out of idk), some others claim they are trying for a child (this is really popular among single women who are suspected to be a lover to the one who hunts, real tongue and cheek shit), but sometimes the only thing that will work is to change your name.

The way picking works is you have to present the persons name. Because there is so much secrecy in Romulan culture, names are really tricky, so maybe the name given is just your common name and you decide to be a stickler and insist on the full four names in order for you to be the hunted. Or maybe you go to your family and ask to change your name there as to throw off the picker.

But it is a little awkward if the picker is your brother and you know he wants you dead so that when your father dies he will be head of the house instead of you, the oldest. And you know his fiancé would kill you even if your brother said they didn’t have to, because the fiancé is the youngest in their family and they have twelve siblings to get through before it’s their turn. So helping their fiancé become head of their family is just a smart move. Lucky for you your dad saw this years ago and already changed your family name, but waited until your brother already picked your full old name so now he has to pick someone else. He’ll pick the father out of spite, but the fiancé won’t kill him. After all, your dad used to be his commanding officer, it wouldn’t feel right.

It’s the hunted’s duty to make the hunt difficult, even if they know they’ll live at the end of it. So they’ll set traps and sneak around. I like to think that Romulan’s have houses similar to Klingons, and those houses have their own variations on the traditional ceremony. So maybe the hunted must hide in a particular place based on their house tradition, or they must throw the hunter off with a certain system.

I can imagine a house who often picks children to be hunted, that way it doubles as a test for the child’s skills. So maybe the fiancé very sweetly gives her little sister a present and asks her to be the hunted. And this 13 year old kid is absolutely STOKED to give her brother in law hell. So not only does she hide, but she starts counter hunting him. And he DIDN’T PLAN FOR THAT. So right when he’s looking at the barrel of a Romulan cross bow, beaten and bloodied by a kid who still sleeps with a night light, he’s fully accepted he’ll be the first in history to be killed and brought back. She looks at him and says something like “When you marry my sister…may I live in your house? I…don’t want to be without her.” And he says yes without hesitation because his fiancé already asked if it was okay, and he’s grown up knowing the little sister too and knows that it’s not the best for her at home (without much detail, Romulan secrets you know), and this kid just drops the crossbow and starts crying because she was really worried she was gonna lose her sister! And so he lightly bounds her hands, they make it back to the ceremony. Folks are congratulating her for giving him hell but snickering at the number this tween did to that guys face! All in all it works out, they are married and the sister moves in with them, and when it’s her turn to marry she kindly asks her niece…who has been trained from birth to return the favor.

Overall I feel that Romulans are just so complex and secretive, that a freaky (affectionate) marriage challenge feels right up their alley. They aren’t governed by logic, but by secrecy and deadly hide and seek feels right.

[ungodly-amounts-of-godly-trauma]

wotw round 1

propaganda under the cut!

anders:

So for context as to Why This Has Happened, he does happen to be an incredibly controversial character because of bad writing and that time he blew up a catholic church (complicated), so a lot of fans, even fans who otherwise wouldnt do so, of him swung HARD in the other direction of "he has basically no flaws at all" which is. Not True. Even if you agree with the blowing up a church thing. He is RUDE and MEAN and HAS BOUNDARY ISSUES. also he js very much the epitome of Extremely White activist and doesnt know how to communicate unless he is arguing (he is not good at arguing and he does not like doing it. these conflicting traits cause exactly the amount of problems you think it would).

Now are these various issues he has generally due to "forcibly imprisoned in a cult", "a year of solitary confinement", and "hes mentally ill and his writer is incredibly ableist"? Yeah for sure. But that doesnt mean the solution is to scrub every flaw he has away or pretend like they dont matter or blame it on the (very cool and sweet) guy possessing him (willingly) its SO uninteresting. And then if you try to talk about these flaws you get people excitedly talking about how they always without fail kill the passively suicidal man and how his romance is inherently abusive to the pc or some shit. Im DYING out here

link:

I know this is like really minor but it bugs me SO much. Ok so. At the beginning of the game, Link gets woken up by Zelda. She calls him a sleepyhead. Later in the game, she references that he would oversleep sometimes. Some of the other npcs do this also. Fandom decided that this was one of his only personality traits, being a sleepy little soft guy who loves his girlfriend soooo much (ok, he does love her a lot, but that's not the point).

This just makes me so upset because he. is. not. sleepy.

Oversleeping doesn't make you sleepy! Many fics portray him as someone that's very soft and gentle and kind and can fall asleep anymore!

At the very most, he's tired. He pushed himself hard during his quest, losing sleep. Afterwards, he would probably go back to a regular sleep schedule and sleep fine (barring nightmares). This is a very different thing than sleepy!

Anyway. Next point. Soft and gentle. He is a kind person, he's on a time sensitive quest and he'll stop to help a mother find her lost child, help a demon become human, find a LOT of lost things, all sorts of stuff like that, but he is not soft and gentle. At the very beginning of the game, he tells the bully "nice hair" (it's kinda ridiculous). Many of his answers are short and blunt. He says "not that guy" when he has to enlist the help of someone he doesn't like. He broke a chandelier for the equivalent of five dollars. He eavesdropped on a private argument-- like literally if you walk by the house at the right time control is taken from the player and he'll walk towards and listen to it. He tells a guy that his elder is dead just for shits and giggles (he's not).

Anyway. Fandom, of course, remembers none of this. He's the peacemaker, he's the soft and gentle one, he falls asleep whenever possible-- he is none of these things! The only thing they get right is that he loves Zelda!

I just want the fics where he's properly snarky and rude and tired (of this bullshit), is that too much to ask?

[touchstoneaf]

I'm reading summaries and transcripts, and once in a while forcing myself to watch episodes of anything after season 3 of Smallville (solely so that I can rewrite them in a way that's much more coherent (and CLexy, but that goes w/o saying))... and my GOD, they are so dumb sometimes. Poor Michael. having to convincingly say shit like "your girlfriend was possessed by the ghost of a witch" with a straight face! (Side note what the actual fuck is the plot in this season? Season 4 is insane and I don't even want to talk about it.) Yes the show has always been a little goofy and has some storylines that are questionable... but they are really pushing it now.

Also one of the main strengths of the show is the chemistry between Michael and Tom, and yet they have full episodes where they don't even interact, and it's just like, *what* are you doing?! And then to top it off, each summary just gets more and more ridiculous and complicated as the seasons goes on, and I'm just like oh thank god I have simplified it in fanfiction! They are no damn witches (because let me not even get started on how witches are portrayed in most TV shows!), there are no spirits floating around trying to possess people (just because you have Kryptonite around does not mean you get to hand-wave literally anything at all. Why in the hell would a Kryptonite nodule or some dust cause ghosts to exist? It affects *living cells* with *radiation*. I don't even understand why they would make a decision like that. They really must have been desperate for stories already, and we're not even halfway through the show yet).

I'm not going to even get started on my main gripes with the show that have existed from the beginning, like turning Superman into a self-serving, abusive, selfish liar who lies, or the fact that their main "villain" was created out of victim-blaming and abuse and then everybody's just gleefully happy for Lex be treated like shit for no fucking reason whatsoever, while his Literally Evil father is turned into some kind of pseudo "good" guy. Cuz yeah, abusers should be redeemable. but their victims should end up alone and tortured and treated like shit by everybody around them. That totally makes sense. I won't get started, I really won't, because I will be here all day. Or the fact that nobody seems to have figured out that Clark is a meta at the very least, when he does all kinds of weird shit all the time. These people are smart. Chloe and Lex especially are not fucking stupid by any stretch. It just simply would not have taken them four or more years to realize that he could easily one of the mutants in town. Nobody would be shocked in the slightest; but they play it like they're just too stupid to figure it out, and it's terrible because Clark is the worst liar in the universe.

Also, somebody who's not yet Superman is not going to be fighting beings like Doomsday when they're still like 20. It's just not going to happen. I'm not even getting started on creepy stuff like how they're totally sexualizing someone who's playing a minor because she is their eye candy on the show. Lana and Kristin deserved better! The female lead who basically existed to further the two guys' storylines for like three seasons finally gets her own story... but it's about being possessed by an ancient witch or some shit? They are actually sexualizing her near death experience, like some kind of creepy PG snuff film (who actually made the decision of trying to make Lana being slowly suffocated a weird sexy vibe?! So fucking problematic I don't even know where to start). And then the male lead's other love interest is summarily killed by their cardboard cutout villain of the week with his lack of character development, simply so that she can't get in the way of Supes' future storyline, because she was literally created only to be a roadblock to his future goals, masquerading as something to keep him from actually being lonely to death. All she did wrong was to wish she could free of stigma about Mental Health... then shortly afterward, when she was essentially killed about it, he turns around and is fine again because he gets a football scholarship. What the fuck?! (Yes, I'm looking at you, Pariah).

I can't even with this show sometimes. I'm so glad I quit when I did. I tend to forget how insane and Incredibly questionable a lot of it is until I have to watch something of it in order to rewrite it. But I guess that's why there's fanfic in the first place!

[fruit-sauce]

My swag and totally normal q!BBH headcanons

I need to talk about my thoughts and headcanons about q!BBH, ESPECIALLY after the lore drops of him being like. a manifestation of c!bbh as well as the fact he “arrived” in 9600 BCE??? I need to say my thoughts- NOW. (also for the fact i wanna draw these out, some of them feel kinda specific and/or complicated)

warning, its a lot:

First and foremost, he’s the Grim Reaper. That’s just a canon fact, but! I still like to remember the name “The Saints of Games” and input that into his lore. 

Basically, he started off as angel, just like q!Philza, but (after some deals and not so good things) he turned into a demon. Design wise, he can go between looking like an angel, demon, or just a guy, but that’s mostly for funsies for me lol

As a demon, he quickly became high ranking, eventually working under the goddess of death herself as “the grim reaper.” this is where he meets phil, since now they’re technically co-workers.

He used to only care for guiding spirits and souls in the underworld, but soon discovered that something was wrong. Souls were going missing, sometimes going past him multiple times. This caused him to venture to the overworld (And cause whatever he did in 9600 BCE???)

The cause of his problems was Foolish! :D Seeing as foolish is a literal totem, I like the idea of him being some type of god/demi god that causes rebirth/keep people from dying/etc. This starts their rivalry that we still see now.

As a general, not every iteration of BBH, Phil, Forever, etc. is the same, they all come from different universes and timelines, but can come together and retain the memories as they move forward. This idea came from the fact qBBH wants “a skeppy” not even his skeppy, just A skeppy. Skeppy is not a deity, so, in every universe, he has to meet bbh over and over again, there are infinite skeppys, but only 1 bbh, and bbh knows that. There is a Skeppy in the QSMP universe that’s been with bbh for years now and has some remembrance of other timelines, the “main” skeppy, if you will (mostly eggpire stuff cause i love the eggpire (something i’ll, idk, make a comic about or something one day))

On the island itself, there’s something up with it that, when they woke up on the trains, BBH, Foolish, and Phil were simply drained of their abilities and magic. They still had some, but no where near enough to leave the island or contact anyone. That being said, BBH gets his energy from souls, something he doesn’t like to do with living beings. He also just naturally takes energy from people, so he plays the bit of the grim reaper that wants people to stay hydrated and takes care of all the eggs because if everyone is happy and healthy, he doesn’t have to worry about accidentally killing them!

There are some that resist him tho: Foolish and Phil, obviously, but also Dapper, Cheyenne, and Leo! The eggs seem to take in the dna of their parents somewhat so these 3 also get that pass... Also Missa, Slime, and Rubius..

Speaking of Rubius, BBH and him I feel like HAVE to have some backstory, they’ve totally met before, both are literally angels/demons. 

Back to Foolish, as much as they poke at one another, they do trust each other a lot, when they were in that dungeon where Foolish almost died, in my head, BBH was basically pulling Foolish out of the way of the Vindicators, digging his claws into Foolish, who then used his totem body to keep BBH from dying (when BBH spent 2 totems trying to pick him up) the third totem was a normal totem tho, him saying “You’re making me eat totems” was literal, he held it in his mouth and broke thru it to use it....

that’s not how they’re supposed to be use i just think it’d look cool...

... I need to make an animatic about that...

[readreactrant]

Hi...Do you know what anime you'll watch this season?

My top 3 fav this season are :

- Tadaima, Okaeri (wholesome BL, also one of my comfort read)

-Black Butler : Public School Arc (yes the ship is problematic but you cannot deny the shipper when you watch it. I'm not shipping SebasCiel but I'm not anti too. Their canon relationship is complicated but great story)

-Wind Breaker (bucchigiri but way better and loveable mc)

Hope you'll like them.....

Hey hey ( ◜‿◝ )♡, Literally following all of these already.

Black Butler was definitely a must, since the announcement dropped sometime last year I've been unable to keep it out of my mind. It's understandable not everyone will ship them but I personally have missed Sebaciel shenanigans so much and seeing favorite characters like Soma (although with less melanin than I remember lol what =_=) in the recent episode just made me so happy.

As for Tadaima Okaeri, I was looking forward to it for a long time, so far I'm not disappointed and it's definitely so fucking cute. All I'm saying is...if any country needs to push baby making propaganda they should go for this instead of the trashy het stuff, I don't make the rules.

I have almost no thoughts on Wind Breaker. It's definitely an upgrade but after the disappointment that was Bucchigiri, I've began to keep my expectations for Delinquent shows low (Tokyo revengers and IWGP are yet to be topped for me). It's not bad but do feel like it's lacking substance in some areas and trying too hard. The main character isn't a bitch tho so I know there's hope for it yet.

To me this year's winter season had way more exciting stuff but there are a number of other anime I'd love to recommend for this spring.

Karasu wa aruji wa Erabanai (The Raven does not choose it's Master) Is almost like the apothecary diaries, but with magic, and without the herbs and medicine...but it has the court politics so yay (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ taking place in a world where people can turn into three legged ravens called Yatagurasu, Yukiya after causing some trouble for his family is taken to serve the most special of specials crown prince who is to become the next Kin'u after picking a bride from the four daughters of the clan heads sent to him. So basically every gay historical romance Wattpad story lol. Unfortunately this isn't a bl and though you can probably tell the prince will get married in future episodes, from these three eps, I think it establishes the focus will be on him and Yukiya, which, I couldn't ask for more.

Another Recommendation is Kaijuu no. 8, I have no words (in a good way). Just spacial forces slaying gigantic monsters while the main character suddenly becomes one of those monsters and has to still join the special force that at some point will kill him if they find out, or if they have found out they realize he's different from other monsters and can help them win the war for humanity *aot flashbacks ಥ‿ಥ* What I'm trying to say is that... it's good. I think it's funny with characters that have to potential to reel you in. I've been told the manga is pretty average tho but we'll see.

Touken Ranbu Kai is...something, I don't watch anime just for pretty boys but even if I didn't like the plot of this one I'd stick with it just for the guys. Beautiful character designs, the lore feels very fresh and intriguing and as well. There's a lot of philosophical topics I think the show has potential to dive into and I'm excited to see where we go moving forward from the three eps out currently.

Last but not least, there's Sentai Daishikkaku (Go Go Loser Ranger) I really don't want to spoil anything but let me just say, it's a brilliant subversion of the Power Rangers narrative. The sound track is fun while also hitting hard, and the characters definitely leave you wanting to know more about them and the world they're in. Definitely give it a try, I don't think you'll regret it.

Got a bit carried away with this one hahah, welp that's all my recs for now. Aside from my shipping stuff I'll probably talk about any of these every now and then, my top three right now tho are definitely Black Butler, Sentai Daishikkaku and Karasu wa aruji wa Erabanai. Anon has amazing taste but I'm a very big action and supernatural fan at heart so I'm based.

Depending on how disappointing or exciting things get along the line this list might change but unfortunately my feelings don't help the state of my FAL ranking so yeah wish me luck (〒﹏〒)

Feel free to leave YOUR current top 3 for this season in the comments, or if you joined FAL like me or just what you think of any of these of you're already watching them (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[chocolatecake47]

Rayla is like: 

Watched her parents leave “I watched you leave"/"Stood there and watched you walk away, from everything we had”, - them being gone/missing for most of her childhood (“but when will you be back?”) “Skies grew darker, currents swept you out again, and you were just gone and gone, gone and gone”- Their ghosting/outcasting “Cause I honestly believed in you/Holdin’ on, the days drag on" - Her trauma and stigma around her parents betrayal slowly isolating her from everyone “My friends from home don’t know what to say”

Coming on a mission of vengeance and murder at only 15 years old and choosing to change the narrative (“My heart for Xadia!/Say the word and I’ll go back into that tower with you!”) “People look at me like I'm a monster"/"I brought a knife to a gunfight"/"when I fought you used to tell me I was brave” - Fighting her father for people she doesn’t know just because its the right thing “they strike to kill and you know I will"/"you had to kill me but it killed you just the same” - Getting ghosted herself and literally being able to travel all over the world and go anymore but not the place she grew up in “And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home” - Believing in her core that she’s not good enough even though she did the right thing, believing everyone is right to be disappointed in her (“they’re right to reject me! I’m never good enough and I never will be!”) “I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting"/"They used to cheer when they saw my face, now I fear I have fallen from grace”  - Truly believing that her pain is irrelevant “I know my pain is such an imposition” because she thinks she doesn’t matter “Always taking up too much space or time”, - Expresses surprise over being loved because no one has ever been so open about it or loved her in her hardest darkest moments “starry eyes sparking up my darkest night"/"Rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky, and he feels like home” - Thinking she has to defend her parents honor and die because of their supposed failure (“All of this happened because my parents ran away, so I have to stay and defend the dragon queen”) “Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me”/“Remember how I said I’d die for you?”- Thinking it is her job to save everyone without letting anyone be there for her but it always ends up being more complicated “Never a clean break, no one here to save me”

The war finally over, everyone thinking things were finally ‘calming down’ but she was distracted, stressed, looking for closure, her mind kept reeling until her body finally did as well “Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke”, - Waking up from nightmares with the reality of 3 of her parents being dead crashing over her and holding strong to that sacrificing mentality ("They said that, sometimes, we make sacrifices so that the ones we love don’t have to. It’s part of protecting them”) “I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke, and all of my heroes died all alone, help me hold on to you”, Waking from horrible nightmares that Viren has done something to Callum which results in her leaving before he can leave her “I wake up screaming from dreaming, one day I’ll watch as your leaving, and life will loose all its meaning, for the last time”, Desperately wanting her logic to be understood ("Please Callum, this is about who I am") "You say, “I don’t understand,” and I say, “I know you don’t” - Had such a fear the world would divide them it tore at her inside until she couldn’t bear it “I loved you in spite of, deep fears that the world would divide us” - Leaving without telling him  (“Don’t follow me, and don’t look for me {I have to go}.”) “Left Cornelia Street before you even knew I was gone” - Her self-sabotaging brain thinking that despite the love the last two weeks have given her she still wasn’t deserving of good things, and she had to leave because thats what they (meaning her family) did (“But I can’t let you stop me, Callum. No matter how much I want to. I wish I could say that we will see each other again, but I don’t know if we will.”) “Don’t pretend its such a mystery, think about the place where you first met me”, - Believing she’s a burden and her parents aren’t Callum’s problem to deal with/she’s not Callum’s problem to deal with anymore (“from doing what I know I have to do. Leaving.”) “I’m not your problem anymore”, - desperately hoping that he doesn’t hate her even though she’s hurt him, because she thinks she’s doing the right thing by building an illusion to protect him (“Please don’t hate me when that illusion fades, Callum.”)“Never wanted you to hate me” - desperately hoping he’ll still trust her and want her after “Will you forgive my soul when you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?” - Searching everywhere for any trace of Viren, any trace of what happened to her parents to make the wound stop bleeding “Trace the evidence, make it make some sense, why the wound is still bleeding” - the thought of Callum being something that got her through her hardest times alone “And when I was shipwrecked, I thought of you/When it was real enough, to get me through" - the idea of coming home to Callum & Ezran being the only thing keeping her going “And I just want to run to you, And every time I don’t, I almost do”,

Not knowing what to say, not knowing how to turn up empty-handed after two years, not knowing what to do to make things better, but only knowing that she is falling apart and is goddamn trying her best and she needs him (“All day I’ve, I mean, all week really, I’ve been so nervous and kind of edge-frazzled, you know?”) “And maybe I don’t quite know what to say, but I’m here in your doorway; I just wanted you to know that this is me trying”/“Standing in front of you saying, “I’m sorry for that night”, - The part of her brain that is mean to her thinking its justified if Callum doesn’t want to be with her anymore after what she’s done “So if the chain is on your door I understand” but deep down her heart wants him to say that it wasn’t her fault and everything will be okay and they will be best friends again and that he understands her twisted logic and forgives her for it “Tell me that you’re still mine, tell me that we’ll be just fine, even when I loose my mind/tell me that its not my fault, tell me that I’m all you want, even when I break your heart” - knowing that she has a lot of trust to rebuild with a lot of people “There are so many lines that I’ve crossed unforgiven” -resulting to wait forever, offering to put his heart back together, and promising to never leave again, “I want you for worse or for better, I would wait for ever and ever, broke your heart, I’ll put it back together” because he is the best thing that ever happened to her and the best thing thats ever been hers even if she is realizing it and admitting to it a little late (“the best thing I ever had: you”) “You are the best thing thats ever been mine”.

Long story short the world screwed her over and over and over again. She was the prey so much she quickly had to become the archer in order to survive.

PS. I didn’t want to tag every song cuz then it gets launched into a whole different side of Tumblr, but if you’re wondering where I pulled lyrics from they are all listed under the cut in (hopefully) chronological order (even though I did repeat songs a couple times but not lyrics!)

Haunted 

This Love

White horse

Your on your own kid

Castles Crumbling

Call it what you want

Mad woman

My tears ricochet (this song is so Rayla/Runaan-coded omg)

You’re loosing me

Tolerate it

Long story short

Ours 

False God

Breathe

Daylight

The Archer (this song is also so Rayla-coded)

Anti-Hero

Dancing with our hands tied

Cornelia Street

Getaway Car

Exile

Hits different 

Evermore 

I almost do (Rayllum-coded for sure)

This is me trying

Back to December (this is the most Rayllum-coded song I've ever heard)

Afterglow (i pulled the whole bridge from here basically)

How you get the girl

Mine

[fredbydawn]

You think Jigsaw was pro life?

This is a very interesting question that I find myself thinking about very often. Putting under a read more, cuz this is gonna be a long ass ramble

Full disclosure, I am pro-choice and have had an abortion, so my takes are obviously going to be influenced by that

I think about this a lot cuz there’s the popular question of “would you survive a Saw trap?” and my smart ass response has usually been “I don’t have to worry about it cuz I haven’t done anything worth putting me in a trap” but then I remember that I did in fact have an abortion so I gotta be on my toes 👀 cuz that lil puppet could be anywhere

There is a line when John has Cecil in the knife chair where he says he’s doing this because Cecil accidentally injured Jill and caused her to miscarry. But he words this as Cecil “killing an innocent child” (or something to that effect, I don’t have the exact words in front of me) and I think he doesn’t even mention Jill. Seeing the life of an unborn child as more important the health and safety of his literal wife seems very pro-life to me. That being said, I’m not totally sure whether or not John would put someone in a trap for having an abortion, nor am I sure he would stop a trap if he found out the person in it was pregnant (and therefore place the life of the fetus on the same or greater level than the pregnant person).

Like John’s philosophy is so interesting to me particularly because of how hypocritical he can be sometimes. Cause like his whole thing is “value your life” not necessarily to value life itself, and to prove that you value your life his tests will sometimes require you to harm or even kill another person, who sometimes hasn’t even done anything particularly heinous (i.e. Lawrence being tasked with killing Adam (who I fully believe was not intended to survive), or Zepp being tasked to kill Allison and her young daughter Diana (who fully didn’t do anything). So in that way I could see John potentially seeing someone getting an abortion as a way for them to take control of their life, particularly if they were pregnant by sexual assault.

But then again, John seems to have very little sympathy for people doing “bad” things due to the circumstances they find themselves in. I think there’s a conversation between him and Amanda in X where’s she’s basically like “hey, man, maybe these people are doing these things that they know are wrong and feel bad about because they have no other way to make money and survive?” and John’s just like “nah, miss me with that gay shit” so idk 🤷🏻‍♂️

There’s also a whole thing about how some of the larger games almost operate on a Silent Hill kinda level, where you’re facing the guilt that you have surrounding an event (such as Jeff’s game from III) and you’re made to confront the ways you’ve been punishing yourself. So while it feels almost like going down a supernatural route where we believe that John somehow has a way to assess how much something weighs on your psyche, I feel like if someone didn’t feel guilty about getting an abortion (which, most people don’t obvs) then they wouldn’t be put in a trap.

In general, I feel like the politics of the Jigsaw killer(s) is a rich and complicated vein of character interpretation. In the beginning there’s definitely a conservative vibe, people being put into traps because they’re sex workers, drug addicts, mentally ill, etc. But when we get to VI it starts to get a bit more capital l Liberal with corrupt insurance company employees being put in traps. But even still, like I said, preserving your life is considered the sign of success and there are very few traps where sacrificing yourself for another person is even an explicit option, let alone considered the “right choice.” So there’s that to think about, I guess.

Long an short of it, in my opinion;

John: still on the fence on whether he’d put someone in a trap for having an abortion, but might stop the test if he found out they were pregnant, especially if they wanted to keep it

Amanda: she strikes me as pro-choice-ish around the beginning of her apprenticeship, but just generally anti-life towards the end, probably wouldn’t put someone in a trap for having an abortion, but would not stop the test if the person in it was pregnant, whether they wanted to keep it or not

Hoffman: as much as he is my thick waifu, he’s also an incredibly corrupt cop so he’s probably leaning conservative, he might put someone in a trap for having an abortion (although there’s a whole nother conversation to be had on how much Hoffman actually believes in John’s philosophy, so he just might not care enough idk), but he would not stop the test if a person in it was pregnant

Lawrence: he’s a doctor, he’s intelligent, so he wouldn’t put someone in a trap for having an abortion, but I feel like he would stop the trap if the person in it was pregnant but only if they wanted to keep it since family is probably a soft spot for him

Logan: thinking about the Jigsaw movie gives me such a fucking headache so I don’t wanna think about it too much, but he did participate in the US invasion of the Middle East and works with the police, so yeah probably conservative and pro-life

Schenk: tbh probably the most left leaning of the apprentices (although technically he’s not an official John Approved™ apprentice, but whatever) so he might be pro-choice, but honestly idk

But that’s just my 2 cents :)🏖