#some times all you can do is laugh.... .jpeg

[authorhjk1]

Hi! It's my first time to use tumblr ask/post functions. I'm glad to see your ideas about colorful dress and SNSD. Here are some Seohyun in this elegant pearl dress you would love.

(181230 SNSD Seohyun at 2018 MBC Drama Awards)  https://kpopping.com/documents/02/4/800/DvryzVOUUAElz74.jpeg?v=593d1  https://kpopping.com/documents/d3/4/800/DvryzVOUYAAImie.jpeg?v=1981c  

Pearl

(Seohyun X Male Reader)

You wake up to your phone ringing. As you reach for it, you glance at the time. Why would someone call you in the middle of the night? You groan in frustration, before answering the call, still half asleep.

"C-Can you come over?"

The woman on the other side of the line sounds desperate. You hear her breath hitch.

You move the phone away from your ear to check the caller ID.

"Seohyun?"

Her answer is a long, drawn out moan.

"What is going on?"

"I can't help it."

She finally responds, her breath heavy.

"For the last five nights I watched our video to get off, but now..."

A disappointed, almost frustrated whine leaves her lips.

"Now I need the real thing again."

You hear her sigh and while she waits for your answer, you also hear her playing with herself. Her fingers seem to move in and out of her pussy, the wet sounds clearly audible when she doesn't speak.

"I was sleeping, Seohyun."

You remind her of the time, but she doesn't listen.

"Please, I'm begging you."

Another moan leaves her lips, before she can continue.

"I came home from this one award show an hour ago and since then I've been playing with myself non stop."

Her whining tone and the mental image of Seohyun getting off to you fucking her for over an hour has your cock hardening.

"I feel like I keep edging myself again and again. But I can't get off properly."

Another loud moan follows her words.

You sigh, slowly getting out of your bed. There's no way you're able to go back to sleep now.

"Send me your address."

After hanging up the phone, you get dressed and get your car keys.

You wait a good minute for her to open the door once you arrive at her place. When she finally does, you are greeted by a mix of elegance and lust. She still seems to be wearing the dress she wore to the award show. But her hair is slightly disheveled and her cheeks are red.

"Why are you still wearing this?"

You question Seohyun as you step into her apartment.

"I can't take it off by myself. An I left early because I couldn't stop thinking about this."

She reaches forward and cups your cock through your pants.

"Didn't you tell me that you aren't a very sexually active person?"

Seohyun shrugs her shoulders.

"Your cock changed that."

You would've laughed if it wasn't for her desperate look.

"Fine. But before I give you what you want, I want to feel those."

You nod towards Seohyun's beautiful mounds, which seem to look even bigger than last time.

"Of course."

She almost moans, before getting on her knees in front of you.

You watch how she looks up at you, teasingly biting her lip. Then, Seohyun pulls down her dress a little and frees her alluring tits. She quickly gets rid off your pants and underwear and leans forward. After gathering a little saliva in her mouth, she lets it dribble off her lips and onto your cock. The sudden warmth almost makes you sigh. Seohyun wraps her boobs around your length and holds them together with her hands.

"Do you like them like this?"

She knows you do. You can only nod in approval when Seohyun starts to move her upper body. Up and down she moves, your now wet cock gliding through the gap between her smooth tits.

After a couple of moments, she lets a second load of saliva fall onto your tip. Her mounds soon spread it all over your length. You can't help but rest a hand on her head, when your knees begin to buckle. You didn't expect this to feel so good.

"Damn, Seohyun."

You groan and she looks up at you with a proud smile playing around her lips. Her tits feel amazing wrapped around your cock. They're soft and smooth, making it easy for her to move along your length.

Soon, she leans down again, but instead of adding more saliva, you feel her tongue dart out to lick your tip.

"Don't."

You hiss, which makes Seohyun do it again immediately.

"You're gonna make me cum soon, if you keep this up"

You warn her, but Seohyun's smile is now mischievous.

"I don't mind. As long as you give me that pounding afterwards."

She adjusts her grip on her tits and lowers her upper body a little. Now, more of your cock appears between her tits, whenever she moves down. You watch her opening her mouth and capturing your tip with her lips.

"Damn it."

You groan, your fingers slightly digging into Seohyun's scalp. The combination of her soft mounds and her luscious lips leaves your head spinning. You should probably be used to this at this point, but you didn't expect Seohyun to be this good. Her tongue dances around your tip, while her lips move up and down, just like her boobs, which are wrapped around most of your cock.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum all over you."

Your grip on her hair tightens, which makes Seohyun lift her head off your dick again. Looking up at you, she gives you her best fuck me face, while her tits keep gliding along your length. Your breath hitches when she applies a little bit more pressure, the friction around your cock suddenly increasing.

You groan, almost in disappointment, when you finally orgasm. On instinct, you pull Seohyun's head back a little to protect her face, which just means that you cover her soft mounds and her collarbone with your cum. It looks amazing on her porcelain like skin as it glistens in the lights of her apartment.

Seohyun lets out a satisfied sigh, feeling the warmth of your semen coat her skin. Your cock between her tits is still hard and you slowly start to thrust in between them.

"How do you want me to fuck you?"

Your question makes the heat rise inside of her. The slight tingle inside her pussy urges her on to jump into action.

"First, get me out of this dress."

Moments later, Seohyun stands completely naked in front of you with her tits and collarbone still covered in your cum. You can't help but marvel at her effortless beauty. When you eventually snap out of it, you remember Seohyun's words from the interview last time.

"Take control."

With two big steps you close the distance between the two of you. Before Seohyun can say something, you push her against the wall behind her. One hand grabs her waist, the other reaches under right thigh, making her lift her leg a little.

"How bad do you want it now?"

You whisper, your lips brushing against hers as Seohyun feels your tip graze her own wet folds.

"Take me until the sun comes up."

While pulling her in, you thrust forward, sliding your cock into her tight wet cavern. Her lower lips desperately grip your cock as it goes deeper into her. Seohyun moans into your mouth, finally feeling your cock stretching her out again.

Soon after you start to fuck her into the wall behind her, her right leg wrapped around your torso, you feel her hands on your back. Her nails dig into your skin and as you make Seohyun moan your name again and again, she scratches at your back, finally releasing all that pent up lust.

[lesbianralzarek]

tumblr in reddit terms

blogs: personal subreddits where the theme/topic is 99% of the time just “me and whatever the hell i feel like at the moment”. for reference, the most common other theme rn is “wizard roleplay that never breaks character”

reblogs: crossposts. these are crucial to maintaining tumblr’s ecosystem. due to blogs generally having fewer followers than subreddits have subscribers, this is the way that posts get seen and passed around. the vast majority of posts on a person’s blog tend to be reblogs, so if the people you follow dont reblog a whole lot, your dashboard is gonna be a ghost town. post limit (combined total of reblogs and original posts per day) is 250, so feel free to go hog wild

tags: this one is complicated. theyre a combination of flairs and Comments But Low-key. you can use them for organization and to avoid seeing content you dont want to (go to your blog, settings, account settings, content you see, and then add tags you want tumblr to warn you about before seeing it). if op tags the post #reddit (in the tags, not the body of the post), itll show up in the #reddit tag when anyone searches that tag. tags are also used for comments that dont really add anything to the post. you know how a jpeg gets kinda gross when its been through a million screenshots and has ifunny watermarks and shit? thats what adding “lmao same” as a comment does to a post. comments stay on reblogs, while tags show up in 4 places: op’s notifications, the notifs of whoever you reblogged it from, when someone clicks on the “notes” button of a post and actively looks for the tags left on it, and when people view your specific reblog of the post (like a follower would on their dashboard)

likes: upvotes but weaker. almost everyone turns off all the algorithms (settings, account settings, dashboard preferences, toggle off the first 3 options. also, make sure your dashboard is on "following" and not "for you". this is highly recommended), so leaving a like doesnt boost the post in any way. they still matter to some people. you can also use them to bookmark a post and go back to your likes later

enthusiastic and/or hyperbolic tags: reddit gold. you wanna let op know you like their art? leave something like ”#printing this out and stapling it to my forehead #op you wanna get married?” in the tags

pornbots: both reddit and tumblr have an issue with them. we block and report them on sight. they usually have hot women as their icons, no posts or reblogs, and a description like “22, brazil, nurse <3″. try to not look like that if you dont wanna get blocked by everyone you follow

blocking: you have this as well, but it seems like a bigger deal on reddit. the reason we are not twitter is because we block bitches who annoy us and move on with our day. do not feed the trolls

things we dont have:

karma: clout-chasing is The Most embarrassing thing you can possibly do on this site. we are all in this circus together and the clown who gets the most laughs is still a clown. popular users will literally deactivate sometimes because clout is a burden. no one here makes money

[literallynathandrake]

So She Lost

The 2024 election and how to make things better

We did our best folks, we voted. We canvassed and phone banked and fundraised and bullied the president into dropping out of the race. But we lost. We cannot change that, and the sooner you accept that then sooner you can begin to feel better.

Take a week, a month, till the inauguration, however long to come to terms with what happened. You're feeling grief and grief takes time to process.

But a lost election does not mean you will die.

Your life, if I had to guess, will become materially worse. If you're queer and in a red state start saving up. If you're trans get those name and gender changes in. If you're undocumented, or related to someone undocumented, get your shit gathered.

I can't guide you through everything but I can tell you now that your life is not over, and even if it will suck absolute shit, it will get better over time. You'll graduate, get a promotion, find a partner (or find some garlic bread if you're not into the whole relationship thing), see friends, watch movies, read books, watch a sunset. There will still be good things, and it is important that we appreciate these good things especially when things start to suck.

We can't make any calls on how bad the next four years will be but I can say this, fascist governments can't last forever. They're a fire that gets lit and burns itself out. Some fires are big and destroy a lot of things, sometimes they can be contained, sometimes they burn longer than you'd like.

But they do burn out, especially when people contain it and help control it.

Find local organizations that advocate for the one thing you care most about. Trans rights, abortion, Gaza, homelessness. Go to join them, work with them, and recruit for them.

If you can't find these orgs, get a friend and do it yourself. If you can't find a friend, make one. Do not ever think you are helpless, you are a member of your community and with enough work you can work to change it. Even if no one listens to you, you are there making a statement and that means that you are not silent.

As online as I am I think I'm going to wane off it. It does nothing for me, outside of wasting my time and laugh at funny jpegs. It's important that we remember that the Internet is not real life, as much as it may seem.

Also, and I don't care if you're an anarchist, socialist, communist, third worldist, neo-Trotskyite. You're a bleeding heart liberal now. Keep your social positions, but leftism can't get done now. You love Joe Biden, you loved Hillary, you were ok with Bernie. Work within this framework until it becomes politically viable to do anything else.

Sleep, we all need it, and drink water. Take your medicine if you have any. Maybe go for a walk in the morning. You're not screwed yet, make the most of it

[lilveeblog]

caregiver!willifer headcanons ♡︎

(moodboard created by @jester-jpeg !!!)

✎ you love watching how in love they are.

✎ when JJ has a tough case, the first thing she does when she comes home is snuggle into you. she’ll tickle your sides gently just to hear you giggle and realise there’s so much innocence in the world and things are okay.

✎ the entire BAU team always treats you to more toys - dinosaurs are your favourite.

✎ they are SO protective over you. JJ being in the FBI and Will being an officer, they know the insides out of how to protect you effectively.

✎ they check on you constantly. your much more of a dada’s baby with Will being home more but JJ will call every night before you go to sleep to tell you how much she loves you. When Will isn’t there with you, he’ll do the same.

✎ they love to be active and play with you! you constantly go on adventure days out to nature parks or lakes where you can let go and be your true little self!

✎ you go on the best family adventure holidays - quad biking, skiing, mountain climbing. they push you to step outside your comfort zone but comfort you too.

✎ they play with you all the time. you always rope Will into playing dress up and jj gets home from work to see princess dresses everywhere and her husband in a wig and makeup. you find it so funny.

✎ when you first became their little, it was harder for you to connect to JJ with her being away all the time and even now, it makes you nervous when she doesn’t come home for a few days.

✎ Will is always there, only ever at work half an hour away and he knows you better than anyone. But you still love JJ so much and sometimes seeing her is all you need.

✎ Will makes the best eggs and food whilst JJ gives the best cuddles and tells the funnest stories

✎ you love when they show you off to the team and let you hang around with them in your free time but- especially dinner at rossi’s as pasta is your favourite but equally you love your alone time with them

✎ the morning after JJ comes home (or any time really) , you love sneaking into their bed and wiggling between them. they’ll laugh and hold you whilst you put bluey on the TV and make them watch

✎ jj’s definitely the stricter one, making sure you’re doing your chores, homework, brushing your teeth and finishing you food whilst Will will let you off more than once when you flash your puppy eyes.

✎ they always make sure there’s some fun activities to do. JJ loves doing DIY tasks with you and letting you get your hands dirty on her days off.

✎ bath time is always your favourite. they have bubbles and bath toys and crayons so you can write on the walls! they have bath bombs and the light up ducks too. especially when your mama is home also and JJ will dance in the bathroom to your favourite music with you.

✎ being sad is hard for you because you feel it so completely but Will and JJ do everything to bring you back up again. Will will hold you, talk to you, rock you and watch films with you whilst JJ will take you on a nice walk outside to relax then treat you to donuts and a new toy.

✎ you are everything to them. everything they both do is for you. they both love you so completely.

✎ Will has a picture of you in his wallet and JJ has a picture of you and Will asleep on the sofa (after waiting for her to get home from a case) as her lockscreen. you have a picture of all three of you in Iceland in front of the northern lights on your phone case.

cg! willifer x little!reader fics here <3

dont want to sleep

late night phone calls

[windsweptinred]

OK I had to do these for Corinthiel cause they're the pinnacle of crack prompts.  

who controls the netflix account and what have they dominated the suggestions with by watching 

Well, since Danny has every streaming service living rent free in his mind, it's got to be Cori. You've got to have all the modern luxuries when out doing your Lord's bidding in the Waking, including the best streaming has to offer. His watch list is full of the usual you would expect for THE nightmare paramount. A chocolate box of horrors so psychology damaging, one wonders who or what the director had to fuck to get it green lit. His suggestions however, are curiously dominated by the suspiciously twee likes of the ‘The Great British Sewing Bee’ and the ‘The Secret Life of Cats.’ He blames Ruin… Everyone knows it's not Ruin.

who snores

Daniel, oh yes, perfect little princess face Danny boy with all the grace, poise and finesse of an expert geisha… Snores like an alcoholic sailor with severe sleep apnea when he's out. That ‘unique’ laugh of Morpheus's had to go somewhere. And it chose make a new home for itself in Danny's nasal passages. Eldritch horrors live in fear of hearing it, demons tell stories of it in hushed, reverant tones. It's the most horrific sound to ever take form. Cori adores it. 

who has an embarrassing ringtone that the other calls them in public just to get to go off 

Wait, you think Cori's phone blasting ‘Pour some sugar on me’ while his phone  flashes a salacious lockscreen photo of Daniel, isn't meticulously planned? For his own delight and everyone else's discomfort? He's purposely arranged callbacks from sales companies, just so he can stand there like a smug git while a Jpeg Lord of the Dreaming flashes his sugar tits. He's done it with Constantine, Hob, the archangel Michael… That one time with Destiny. He doesn't talk about that though… 

who sleeps on the top bunk if given the chance 

If by top bunk you mean the finely sculpted pectorals of one blonde nightmare.. It's an all out war between Danny and Madison about who gets to curl up and purr themselves into oblivion. Trust me, those catfights gets naaasty! They're the closest thing the Dreaming has to bloodsports. Trauma for the eyes in a flurry of white hair. 

who plays the piano at 6 in the morning to wake up the other 

Matthew once spent a month making Mervyn hit a piano repetitively with a heavy duty chain whip to get them out of their bed chamber. Does that count? Would you want to face an enraged librarian on the warpath because their peace has been heinously disturbed? Well neither did they. It was the only way to get them to put their pants on. 

who has accidentally set something on fire by attempting to cook a birthday meal 

Well, since Cori is the accomplished male wife he is, I'm going to say with no canonical proof ( but we all know it's true) his skills in the culinary arts could make Gordon Ramsey renounce swearing in euphoria. And Daniel should be able to pull from an encyclopedic dreamer knowledge of this stuff. So… Ruin did it. How did Ruin set fire to the deep fat fryer when making a romantic icecream  sundae for his Lord and mentor in all things night terrors? Well, let me tell you, he has a particular set of skills! 

[yardsards]

there's so many posts floating around that are like "if you stop joking about wanting to kill yourself, you won't think about suicide as much!"

and. in my experience, that's just been dead false.

when i was younger, i would casually joke about my suicidal urges all the time. it made my (often equally depressed) peers laugh along and connect with me, and it made the urges feel less scary, like i could conquer them and laugh.

i stopped joking about suicide as i got older. everyone said it was harmful to do, so i quit. and i think it actually made me feel so much worse. my suicidal ideations are now a dark taboo swirling around deep within me: something that i can't show outside of serious conversations in therapists' offices or to friends preceded with "can i vent about something?". serious conversations that don't really make me feel better and often manage to make the suicidal feelings look even BIGGER and more unmanageable to me.

i wish i could joke about it like i used to, but i can't. i'm more conscientious of others' feelings and reactions to me than i used to be (which is in some ways a good thing, but in some ways leaves me constantly muting and molding myself just to be more palatable to outsiders). so i can't bring myself to risk upsetting anyone with my dark jokes anymore: no matter if it's fellow suicidal people who may be understandably hurt by the subject, or if it's just mentally healthy people clutching their pearls because i dare be mentally ill in public.

and joking about these things is a lot more taboo now that it was just a few years ago as a teenager in the late 2010s. humor was more dark and ironic overall at the time. you could post like, a deep fried jpeg of a shrimp captioned "i want to krill myself!" and there was a general understanding that like, yeah some of the feelings there might be genuine, but it's still a joke and you can join in on laughing. but now something like that would be treated more like a cry for help.

i don't really have a solution to this cuz like, yeah there were people who were negatively impacted by the ubiquity of suicide jokes back then, and it's probably not something we as a culture should bring back overall. but GOD sometimes i miss it.

[bi-bats]

Inspiration Saturday Sunday!! I was tagged by @ladytauria 💚 thank you bestieeee 💖💖💖💖💖

Okay so uh. Sorry to my jaytim ppl but this is not gonna be jaytim???

In a WILD turn of events, I sat down to write my Jaytim reverse robins fic bc I was feeling inspired about it and I wrote the first chapter. And then by the time I got to the end of it I was like oh. Oh this is actually DamiTim. And then I just. Couldn't stop writing. I definitely am still going to write the Jaytim flavored version, so no one worry about that, but apparently, this is also happening!!

So here you are, some Nightwing!Damian/Red Hood!Tim!!!! I hope you all enjoy 💖 (context to the scene: they are on the phone at a ridiculously early hour)

“I told you already, you may scold me if you like.” “Scold you? Right now I’d like to strangle you.” “I think that would be fair.” Tim laughs, a surprised, sudden noise, and Damian wants to beam. “How is your throat?” he asks, and his voice has gone gentle, softness leaking into it. “It’s fine.” Tim's voice is icing over, losing warmth. “And your wrist?” “You left a few bruises, but nothing’s broken. Full range of motion. Does it matter?” Of course, Damian wants to say. Of course it matters. “I did not mean to hurt you.” “You never mean to,” Tim mutters, and Damian isn’t entirely sure he was meant to hear it. “What are you doing right now?” “Making coffee,” Tim sighs, irate. “Do you still take it with an obscene amount of sugar?” Damian asks, trying to get him back, trying to get his brother back. He wonders how much of the rest of his life will be spent trying to get his brother back. “No, I drink it black.” That knowledge settles painfully under his left rib. “You used to take it with so much sugar that I was concerned.” Tim scoffs. “And you still won’t touch the stuff, I’m sure? Only fine teas for the prince?” Damian squeezes his eyes shut. “I have… developed a taste for coffee.” “I bet your blend costs five thousand dollars a bean.” “I don’t think it even costs five cents a bean.” “Oh? Where do you source it?” “The bodega.” Tim snorts. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just trying to picture Damian Wayne walking into a bodega with a sword strapped to his back, digging through his pockets for enough change to afford his morning cup.” A smile curls across Damian’s lip, against his will. He is powerless to prevent it. “The owner is Egyptian. It can be nice to have a conversation in Arabic, every once in a while.” There’s a pause before Tim answers him.

“How do you take your coffee?” he asks in Arabic. “Black,” Damian responds in Arabic, feeling that same feeling he always gets when he gets to rest his English. Like collapsing onto his bed after an especially long day, remembering that his comforter and sheets and pillows were waiting for him. “I didn’t know you missed speaking Arabic.” “I never knew you spoke Arabic.” “Yes, you did,” Tim snaps, abruptly switching back to English. “You knew.” “…not when I would have had an occasion to use it.” “An occasion, are you kidding me? Any time you wanted. Any time you wanted to walk into the manor and say anything to me, you know I would have listened. I would have done anything for you, don’t you get that?” Damian sighs at himself. Why is he even doing this? Every time he thinks he finds an opening, Tim slams the door on his fingers. “Yes, I do." “You are infuriating to talk to, you know that?” “Yes,” Damian answers. “Why are you staying on the phone with me?” ��Because you—” Tim groans at himself, and Damian feels like an intruder. “You always make me want more than I can have.” Before Damian can think of an answer to that, Tim has hung up.

No-pressure tagging @yasmindifference, @jpeg-dot-jpeg, @chipmunkery, and @cheetahleopard!!!

[reddeliciousauce]

✈ - an eye-opening memory

Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you are SEVEN years old.

It's another day. Funnily enough, it's one of the few where you aren't constantly getting your ass handed to you in the Houston heat.

Dirk usually took these opportunities to scrounge up food for the house. That was always pretty cool of him. He seemed way better at being a self-sufficient coolguy than you. You suspect he shares his bounty with you to shove it in your face. Well, one day, YOU'LL be the cooler of the two.

As for you, you know what they say. Or rather, what you say solely to yourself for whatever reason: your room's your sanctuary. Basically all that you can take care of, you can do in your room, so there's not even a reason to come out half the time. Unless, of course, you're interested in testing your FRANKLY SHIT ability to not set off traps and get smothered with PLUSH ASS. You'll save that for when you have to piss, thank you very much.

Days like these are for feeding crows, making tunes, and updating your LATE GRANDPA'S WEBCOMIC.

Sweet Bro And Hella Jeff. Truly the greatest inheritance of your short life. The moment you turned six, your BRO shoved you in front of Dirk's computer and schooled you on your legacy of irony and post-surrealism. You enjoyed the movies and web series you were spoonfed by both of your bros growing up, so you were more than happy to take the metaphorical hammer of Thor—or in this case, CAR of DUNKASS—to carry on the single best series ever created.

You pored over the ancient texts, artifacted the shittiest of jpegs, smelted the dankest of panels. Basically, if your grandfather was GOD, you're JESUS FUNKING CHRIST.

You started posting pages a few months after your task was given. And so you've worked, for nearly two years now, at that.

It's something you're pretty proud of, all things considered. It's fun to have something to connect you with your departed g-pa. You wonder if he would be proud if he took a peek at it now. The internet sure has gone nuts over it, so you're basically a natural, right?

Rule one of Striderdom: don't get distracted.

You clearly forgot it. Headphones on, dappling your MSPaint canvas while jamming to some tunes. You basically left yourself wide open.

Doesn't stop you from startling when your door, which you thought you locked, is suddenly as gaping as the asscheeks of a certain jar freak.

You shove your headphones down to your shoulders, face-to-face with Lil' Cal, hanging off your Bro's shoulder. He's right next to you.

You nearly expect a call to arms, but your eyes flick to what he's got. Bunch of letters and packages.

Your mouth asks what all this shit's for. He says it's for you.

Oh. Oh, shit. For real? What the fuck?

Your excitement was too obvious. Lil' Cal's jaw unhinges, clacking about in a silent laugh. Euch.

And just like that, they're both gone. As quick as they came.

...huh!

You fidget a bit with the mail on your desk. YOUR mail. You never got mail before... time to take a look.

Fanmail. SBaHJ fanmail? Yes, SBaHJ fanmail!

Fanart, little trinkets, even a Geromy plush that you don't hate all that much, honestly.

Letters suggesting new strips. Calls for another movie. Compliments on the new work!

Though no bounty is without its curses. Parts of this selection are obviously hate mail.

'New shit sucks. Just kill em off at this point.' Weird.

'Never reading this again! Hella Jeff's favorite color is obviously red, not purple. You clearly don't know what you're doing.' Wait, seriously?

'If the stairs come back I'm killing myself' Huh?!

'We should totally meet up! I'm eight years old too!' One year off! Kind of weird!

'Why haven't you made a statement for or agaibst the Alternian Empire like legitimately you disgust me.' Oh come on...

...wait, is that his address?

You stare at this blatant display of parasociality and, frankly, don't know how to feel. You don't think your lungs are working right.

The price of fame is steep indeed...

[captmickey]

So, Escape is... definitely a game, and not exactly the best in the series. But, do you have a favorite moment? Be it a little joke dialogue or from a cutscene. I think mine's when you try to use the grog on anything except the actual solution and Guybrush just goes "No! My grog!", or with gameplay when I picked up the manhole cover and just ran off to the next screen still.h holding it, that was really funny to me for some reason.

Escape is.... yeah. It's definitely a game. And one that I can (and have) ranted about. In a condense nutshell, as part of the Monkey Island series, it's most definitely the weakest, there's no tip toeing around it. As a stand alone? It probably wouldn't be nearly as atrocious but I will never forgive the over abundance of pop culture media and the depiction of your newly wed wife.

Like I said, it's a rant I can go on if prompted (and have on stream).

But, with all that said, yeah, I do actually have a favorite moment. A few of them, actually!

Like I said, the game isn't the strongest and definitely the worst/weakest in the series, but there are moments and jokes that do genuinely get a laugh out of me.

1- The Guybrush and LeChuck puppets. I love those puppets. Anytime those two appear I'm always giggling, especially so during the part where you actively try to get the general (whose name eludes me right now and I'm too lazy to look up) to fire at you.

2- Guybrush being (RIGHTFULLY) allowed to be an absolute public menace. Such as him bullying Marco Polo, his absolute done-ness of Herman and Jojo, and how he was towards LeChuck (and Ozzie) before the absolutely terrible detestable portion of EMI that is the titular island itself.

3- Throwing the dart at the player and at the JPEG balloon. Every single time this makes me laugh.

Bonus this particular moment with Guybrush and the match. I liked this moment enough to make a gifset and also because this was one out of maybe three times in ALL OF ESCAPE that Guybrush and Elaine were on the same page, he made that joke and she DIDN'T disagree with him.

[ethtyn]

etho's limlife #5 pov liveblog

oh good. bdubs is just. here.

not the boogeyman. so my initial supposition was incorrect [squints]

uhmmm the group screenie moment with bdubs halfway up a ladder to look shorter 😭 goodbye.

"i'm washed up at pvp, i don't know the answers to these questions anymore" WAAAAAAH

"the BITES lawncare service" HELP LOL

this post

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE BAD BOYS. WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN ALL OF THIS.

"if they ask me why we did it, i have no clue, to be honest (laughs)" GHGNFNF. (from between gritted teeth, affectionately) i can't stand you.

SCREAM i am dying at Etho crouching in the water elevator listening to jimmy monologue to his commenters. "wait, where are you??" PLEASE.

...shrieker in the TIES base. 🫵🏻 Cleo.

"why does everybody call me a traitor?!" "you put a shrieker in our base!" "(laughs) oh, yeah, Mom told me to do that." SEE. CLEO.

"i love it when we're pranked by people who don't know how things work" pfffft damn tango go off

obsessed w Etho apparently immediately sniffing out the bad boys in TIES' base. "this is just embarrassing at this point" to hysterical laughter from the BBs. j'adore.

"Jimmy. you're a BAD BOY." "i'm a very bad boy." 🥴🥴🥴

tell me the bad boys are not wearing priest skins. like i'm sure they're supposed to look like regular suits but THEY LOOK LIKE PRIESTS i'm. this is. hm

deviation for. this post

"i would be here all the time if it was allowed!" "you're allowed. you could be a Clocker." IMMEDIATELY LOOKS AT BDUBS. "i could, couldn't i" in the softest voice. i am ripping up my pillow with my teeth.

SORRY. BDUBS PLACING TNT AND CLEO AND SCAR JUMPING AWAY WHILE ETHO'S JUST LIKE "this is nice 😌". IM CLAWING AT MY OWN FACE.

"i especially like that Cleo's been quiet. that's my favourite part of this whole supper." first of all it's dinner not supper you Canadian fuck (/aff), SECONDABLE you are. really going hard on the "not afraid of Cleo anymore" exposure therapy today sir. i love it keep going

KIDS DO YOU WANT TO GO PLAY CATCH RIGHT NOW. SITS DOWN AND WATCHES INTENTLY. HI ANON I AM THINKING OF YOUR OUT OF CONTEXT SPOILERS RN.

fucking JCNCKFNCKDNCKF. insults Cleo, fails to find the button to the iron door, gets slapped for his troubles. I AM EATING SO GOOD RN

bro i. my mouth is open. jaw is flapping. this is some roleplay all right. also i love being right, there are TNT minecarts involved which means this is going to end Horribly.

IM SCREAMING. I WATCHED THAT BACK LIKE FIVE TIMES. there are literal tears in my eyes that was funnier than i possibly could ever have anticipated. AND ALSO BOTH OF THEM DIED IM FUCKING CACKLING.

i feel like i can HEAR Etho wondering if he'll need to edit out Scar's "banging" comment LMFAO

aaddhdnckfkg Joel's "ETHO?! disgusting" after Scar tattled on him in chat HELLO?

??????????? Scar crits him like. at least twice when they go back inside and Etho's just. so blasé about it. "he's going through his angsty teenage phase, i should leave" and Scar LETS HIM. the dynamics here are confusing me. i need to watch Scar's video. (i will confess to not keeping up with the Clockers since the first couple of episodes since Bdubs isn't uploading 😔)

Grian's "WHAT?!" after Etho admitted he didn't know why he blew up the bridge made me go into a coughing fit i laughed so hard. don't smoke, kids /srs

"i still have your sword, so if you ever need something from me—" sicko ha ha yessss dot jpeg. GIVE ME GRITHOOOOOO

bdubs crouching in a corner pointing a crossbow at Etho with his shield up and Etho is Still having a casual conversation. WHAT ARE THE DYNAMICS HERE?!

sorry, are you telling me. that Scott heard Etho say "uhhhh....yep" LIKE THAT in response to his question about whether that spot was how you access the farm loot and STILL WENT DOWN THERE? i'm also shocked that Martyn wasn't like "what do you mean, "tell them""

GODDAMMIT. who triggered it. i wanted to see that dynamic shift so bad.

KCNCMFMFM he is SO BAD at lying. it was a good decision to interrogate Jimmy first to confirm the Mean Gills' findings bc i don't think that man can tell when someone is lying to him Ever.

the unconvincing "whaaaat"s when Etho then goes to Joel & Grian 😭😭😭😭😭😭

OH GOD THAT FISHING ROD SNAG SCARED ME TOO. their little giggles 😭

NOT THE RED HOT PANTS, SKIZZ

uhm. episode conclusion: Etho is the Disneyland Dad™.

[lemonadesoda]

11, 12 16, 19 for your guys! (i just saw the Charater ask post) (‘jackdaw)

Hi jack my head has been empty this whole time i am finally trying to answer these. you also asked some hard questions lol

11. If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

i realize the heart of this question is actually really "what would make them seem ooc?" For Lemel, it would be not appreciating a dad-joke, calling Tevane "Tevane" in any situation less serious than life-or-death, using (derogatory) toward Tev, and not wanting to touch the potentially dangerous new thing. For Tev, it would be not defaulting to formal speech/generally using slang unironically (he mostly uses slang in situations where he can butcher it on purpose to make everyone mad), not picking up after himself or anyone else, literally any form of solo dancing, being very opinionated (when sober).

12. What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

i can't be specific man, that's too specific. Lemel likes dad jokes, as mentioned, as well as similarly goofy pranks like updog. You can usually get Tev by saying something absurd and unexpected (not the same thing as blurting out completely random irrelevant things). The literal only specific example I can think of is a scene where he's having a fairly serious discussion with Lemel but they abruptly make a related innuendo and he corpses instantly. I will not get more specific than this. Also he only busts out laughing like that for good friends, the exact same joke told by like a coworker or smth would just irritate him.

16. What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

Lemel grew up arguing with their older sister. And their teachers. And their classmates. And their mom. They will argue with anyone, for fun even, so you can only imagine what it's like in their imagination. Brennan Lee Mulligan I Will Die On Any Hill dot jpeg. Don't they get tired? Debatable. Extremely debatable. Ranges from critical reviewers on their research to annoying people in the comment section to imaginary Snatcher and Moonjumper about leaving Tevane alone.

Tevane's internal arguments mostly are with himself tbh. It's most frequently Tevane vs Depression Tevane, ngl.

19. What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they’ve been avoiding?

Depends on the reason for avoidance. If it's an avoidance situation like with Tevane in chapter 14 where they're trying to cut ties on purpose, they just are super fucking awkward while trying to pretend they don't care. If they're avoiding someone because they fucking hate that person, idk man, they will probably start a fight bc they were avoiding that person to stop themself from starting a fight. Lemel's not really an avoidant person per se because if they know there's a problem with someone, they either want to continue having that problem (i.e. they hate you) or they want to stop having the problem (i.e. they like you) and actually can get kind of annoying about trying to figure out how to solve the problem if the other person wants to keep avoiding it. If they are behaving avoidantly, they are in denial about having a problem at all, which I feel is a different nuance.

Similarly, if Tevane is avoiding someone because he hates them, it's like the other person doesn't fucking exist, the man does not need a phone to ghost you. If it's guilty avoidance like with Hat Kid, then he'll cowgirl up and deal with the situation, so honestly, you're more likely to get a heart to heart with him with this tactic.

[krokaxe]

Sliding in for Chris/Jen OC Relationship asks. Hopefully we both survive getting hunted by our barbies for the crime of discussing their feelings out in the open. 3 • What is their love language? 32 • Can they communicate private thoughts whilst in company? If so, how? 67 • Have they ever done it anywhere questionable? 81 • Did they have a meet cute? Or was it a train wreck? (This is just me flashbanging you with all the AUs at once tbh) Bonus question because LMAO: 98 • Who would burn the world down for who?

• OC Relationship Asks •

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

WHAT IS THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE?

I'd say acts of service primarily. They're very in sync orientation wise, albeit that aligns with spending time together in that parallel way they gravitate to. Their physical affection is more private and discreet as we know.

CAN THEY COMMUNICATE THOUGHTS WHILST IN COMPANY? IF SO, HOW?

It's that silent Look they give each other. But even that isn't necessary; Chris and Jen have a fundamental, seamless understanding of the other. In any situation where company is around, the thoughts of their partner is as present as their own. Their shit talking sessions are unmatched.

HAVE THEY EVER DONE IT ANYWHERE QUESTIONABLE?

Smoking dot jpeg. You'd think these two would have some decorum but they just absolutely do not. I think of the stair well, then of the TPE building. Evidence room. Rouvsi Estate rooms on montage. The l— [ GUNSHOT ]

DID THEY HAVE A MEET CUTE? OR WAS IT A TRAIN WRECK?

Consider me blinded by the flash bang LMAO. Chris and Jen don't really do meet cutes by everybody else's standards. Does stalking somebody of interest count? Maybe. Ictus barbies exploding us for our cardinal sins as I say: the hallway.

BONUS ROUND: WHO WOULD BURN THE WORLD DOWN FOR WHO?

I am. Laughing. Jen would burn the world down for Chris given the Themes and Motifs— but Chris would seize the reigns. Take an empire, perhaps.

[blewthecandleout]

I do think it's kinda funny that I did an entire master's degree in illustration and paid like what. 10 grand on being taught how to draw by some of the world's best illustrators only for me to be like... yeah not for me and just continue to do my taylor swift drawings but better.

[fallmutual]

hlvrai live action official cast!! (big long transcript under the cut)

[Start Transcript:

Holly: gamer212000 in chat asks, “Half-Life 2 VR But The AI Is Self Aware when?” Uh, didn’t’cha hear? They announced they were doing that in 2027.

Wayne: We’re doing the first one again.

Mike: We got actors this time.

Wayne: Yeah, we paid some actors. (laughs)

Holly: Yeah, we’re hiring, uh…uh…

Wayne: That’s actually a great idea for a bit.

Holly: Donald Glover.

Wayne: We’ve joked about doing like, let’s just do a stream where we do Half-Life VR again, like we just— We, we like, transcribe everything we said into a script, and we like, re-perform it, uh, and see how that goes. But let’s just pay some people that aren’t us to be in it, and see how that goes.

Mike: Live theater adaptation.

Wayne: We’re GOING HOME!

Holly: I wish that I knew— I wish that I knew anyone famous enough that would be down to do that.

Wayne (reading chat): “That sounds awful”? Yeah it does, and you would watch it.

Mike: (laughs)

Wayne: All of you would watch it.

Holly: (laughs)

Wayne: I don’t even need to ask you, I know you would. (laughs)

Wayne (reading chat): Yuri Lowenthal? Aw, man. That’d be awesome.

Mike: It’d be fucked up. As Gordon?? (laughs)

Mike (cut off): —yeah.

Holly: Who’s the guy who voices everyone in Dota 2?

Holly: Nolan North! Nolan North.

Wayne: Nolan North, yeah.

Holly: Nolan North will play, uh, Bubby.

Wayne: (laughs)

Mike: (laughs)



Holly: Uh, and…and Jennifer Hale will play Dr. Coomer.

Holly: We should get Lance Reddick to play Benrey.

Scorpy: (laughs) I’m seeing a lot of people say Adam Sandler.

Mike: (laughing) As Benny???

Wayne: (laughs)

Holly: No nononononono no. No no no. No! We just said—

Wayne: No, they’re just saying Adam.

Holly: —Lance Reddick is Benny.

Mike: Lance Reddick is Benny.

Holly: Adam Sandler would be like, I dunno, the VOX or something.

Wayne (imitating Reddick): Gordon, I require passports.

Holly (imitating Reddick): Mr. Freeman, I’m going to need to see your passport.

Wayne (imitating): Mr. Freeman, I’m going to need at least 200 Crucible Coins immediately.

Holly (imitating): Gordon, come home with me tonight and we’ll play Heavenly Sword.

Wayne: (laughs)

Baaulp: I want Gilbert Gottfried as Tommy.

Holly & Scorpy: (laugh)

Mike: Your call.

Holly (imitating Gottfried): I got a desk drawer full of Tic Tacs!

Wayne: (laughs)

Holly: (laughs)



Wayne (imitating Reddick): Gordon, you need to stop playing Gambit right now.

Holly: (wheezing laughter)

Wayne (imitating Todd Haberkorn): Howdy, sistah, we can use ropes!

Holly: Fuuuck.

Wayne: We get Todd Haberkorn.

Holly: Which famous actor would we pay to play Sunkist? The dog. The JPEG of a dog.

Baaulp: Vin Diesel.

Wayne: Yeah, we get Vin Diesel to play with the Wowozela.

Scorpy: (vocalizing)



Mike: Vin Diesel’s already in it, he appears!

Holly: Right, yeah, in the credits we straight-up have real Vin Diesel.

Wayne: We need someone to play Vin Diesel. We need another celebrity to play Vin Diesel.

Baaulp: He’s got— He’s gonna use all that Groot— He’s gonna— He’s got all that Groot experience.

Holly: Okay, so, we get Vin Diesel to play the dog, and we get Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to play Vin Diesel.

Mike: Okay.

Scorpy: That works.

Holly: (laughs)

Wayne: Where is my dog?

Mike: I’m googling “G-Man Half-Life movie” to see what the people think.

Holly: Uh, Don— Donald Glover.

Wayne: Usually my dog would be pissing in this field…

Scorpy: I want— I want Steve Harvey somewhere.

Holly: Steve Harvey can play…the, the marine guy, the soldier guy.

Scorpy: You’ve been a bad, bad, bad, bad boy.

Mike, Wayne, & Holly: (laugh)

End Transcript]

[dishesoap]

games i love and u should play, in no particular order:

chrono trigger

an old jrpg from the 90s, chrono trigger is a fantasy/sci-fi game about time travel, magic, and robots, with a fun plot, good gameplay, incredible characters, and one of the best soundtracks ever written.

youll find chrono trigger on best video game lists for a reason. its old, but its great. in fact, chrono trigger was the start and the inspiration for a lot of both jrpg mechanics and other games themselves.

ct is just one of those games You Should Play if you like video games. the base plot doesnt take forever - estimates are at about 20 hours, but you can speed through way faster - or, take the time to get over 10 endings, finish side quests, and have fun.

the beginners guide:

you know the Stanley Parable? this is the same creator.

the beginners guide is a short, introspective game i think everyone who creates content should play. its narrative, a man walking and talking you through short strange little games that his friend coda made. its about the process of creation, the reason, the rewards. the setbacks.

this is one of those games i had to sit quietly for a little bit after playing and feel some stuff. i try and replay it now and then, just cuz.

hatoful boyfriend:

okay. yes. i see all my friends groaning. youre about to as well. but hear me out.

hatoful boyfriend is a japanese dating sim with a twist.

you are a high school age human girl.

you go to a school for birds.

also, you live in a cave.

hatoful boyfriend is one of those games you think is a joke parody - and youre right, mostly, except if you stick with it long enough you stop laughing at the silly photorealistic bird jpegs. usually this is because youre either screaming or crying, but hey.

get through all the base routes and youll unlock the True Arc, which happens to be a murder mystery - and also explains what the fuck is up with the birds. and the human.

just. yes, the bird dating game (and its sequel, holiday star) has a plot. it has a lot of plot twists. some of em youll see coming. some of them you most certainly wont. listen, if you can barrel through the weirdness of it, its a fun, wild ride, and it has what is probably my favorite video game protagonist of all time.

(you, the player character, have base stats of 1 wisdom, 5 charisma, and 800 vitality. you run around screaming things like "MY HUNTER GATHERER BLOOD BOILS" before drop kicking your classmates, your heart is the size of the sun, and you wrestle buffalo for fun. this does not even begin to describe hiyoko's strangeness.)

undertale:

youre reading this on tumblr.

you know what undertale is.

just ignore the fans and the fandom and youll have a good time.

breath of the wild:

you probably know this one too. one of the more recent legend of zelda games, botw is an open world jrpg about a young hero waking up in the wild with no memories, but a huge responsibility.

listen. listen. i dont like games with fighting mechanics that require me to respond quickly. i am slow and bad at games. i also dont like games that are easy to get lost in, bc i am very easily lost, and botw has a HUGE open map. but this is probably one of my top three favorite games ever.

botw has it all - and all of it is amazing and unforgettable. characters, plot, gameplay, music, scenery, heartbreak, comedy-

this is another game you could blow through pretty quickly, or you could do what i did and finish every single sidequest and shrine and upgrade every piece of armor and then track down all 900 korok seeds. its up to you.

night in the woods:

indie side scroller/point and click about a 20 year old coming home from college to her hometown, a dying ex-mining backwater place called possum springs.

nitw is a mystery game, but its also about friendship, mental illness, the supernatural, and the slow, steady, inexorable decline of poor towns and the people in them as jobs disappear and the world crumbles.

its also really, really funny.

nitw also has two little side games - longest night and lost constellation - that are good!

stardew valley:

this is just a cute little farming sim. its well made. its fun. its addicting.

inherit a farm from ur grandfather as he dies on a fucked up bed, then escape to it from your menial soul-sucking office job to grow parsnips, raise cows, pet dogs, be gay, fall in love, make jam, fall down mineshafts, hit slime with swords, and buy probably-not irradiated sprinklers from a blob man in the sewers.

i have too many hours in this game.

pokemon mystery dungeon: explorers of sky

i am very tired of pokemon main games. i have been for years. i firmly advocate that the side games are where its at - and pmd:eos is The Best pokemon side game.

you are an amnesiac human-turned pokemon alongside your best friend, as you join an adventurers guild to explore new lands as well as rescue pokemon in need. but somethings going very wrong in the world, and you might just be connected to it all.

explorers of sky is like, the final version with more stuff, but time/darkness are both versions as well.

even when the plot twists are pretty foreseeable (this is a game written for kids, its pokemon) theyre still really good. i remember being a kid as my sister and i played this together and we both sobbed our little hearts out.

the soundtrack is phenomenal, and the gameplay is fun. its just a good game, yall!

off:

off is a french rpg with a free english translation available for download.

off is weird. you, the batter, are on a mission to purify the world. you travel through the zones of the world, defeating spirits and learning more and more about the strange, anxious drone-like inhabitants, the intimidating guardians, and the weird little side characters you meet - and, eventually, the strange child at the heart of it all.

off is slightly spooky, with a plot that that takes a bit to unravel, but its definitely worth it.

monster prom/camp:

a very lgbt+ friendly series, monster prom is a single or multiplayer american dating sim that really digs into the whole monster schtick. you pick your avatar from a list of monstrous choices, and then increase your stats in hope of being cool, charming, smart, etc enough to pick the right dialogue option and woo your intended monster beau.

monster prom is crass and heartfelt, with numerous wild and wacky endings. play it in a group, play it alone, but its funny and sweet either way.

summon an eldritch deity to watch naruto with you, aid your demon boyfriend in his quest to punch the sun, learn the meaning of life with a computer, get really high on illegal and dangerous substances with a ghost, and so much more.

inside:

spooky little puzzle side scroller/platformer

you are a little boy and you are trying to go somewhere. the world is grey and is trying to kill you.

something is very wrong.

[calpalirwin]

Dinner Games

Summary: During dinner with the Avengers, you and Bucky find a way to keep things interesting

Word Count: 1.5k

Content: use of sex toys, edging, female orgasm, sex in public places

And away, and away we go!

__

“No,” you heard Bucky say. “No. Absolutely not.”

You turned in confusion, expecting to find him on the phone, but instead he was staring at you with his arms crossed. “Something wrong?” you asked slowly.

“Yeah. We’re going to be late because you have to change.”

“Why do I have to change? What’s wrong with how I’m dressed now?”

His eyes roamed your body, stopping at the hem of your skirt, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “Look, doll. We have two options here. We can be a little late because you’re going to change. Or, we don’t go to dinner at all.”

“Oh?” you said, cocking an eyebrow and walking over to him. “So you’re saying you can’t control yourself, is that it?” Your voice dropped to a sultry taunt as you ran your fingertips up the front of his shirt.

“It’s not that I can’t, doll. It’s that I don’t want to.”

“Care to make this interesting, then?” you asked, an idea coming to you.

“What do you have in mind?”

~~~

You were stopped at a red light about a block from the restaurant when a small buzz went through your core. “Bucky!” you hissed, shifting one leg over the other. “This isn’t playing fair. You’re supposed to wait until we get there.”

The corner of his mouth was pulled into a smirk, and he let out a chuckle, as the buzzing stopped. “Had to make sure the remote worked. And that it’s not loud,” he explained with faux innocence.

“You’re a menace,” you retorted, uncrossing your legs.

“This was your idea,” he reminded you. “And I’d work on your poker face.”

~~~

You almost thought Bucky had forgotten about your little toy as he lost himself in conversation with Sam and Steve at dinner, and taking cheap shots at Peter and Tony. And you yourself almost forgot as you focused your attention on your own conversations with other members of the team, growing unaware of the restless circles you were drawing on Bucky’s thigh.

You’d made it through appetizers before a vibration pulsed, causing you to gasp as you took a drink, your hand tightening on Bucky. “You good, Y/N?” Steve asked, his eyebrows pulled together in concern.

“Yep, all good,” you forced a smile, before shooting a look at Bucky. “Seriously?!” you hissed at him, barely moving your lips as the vibrations continued. “Not when I’m trying to drink something. Not cool.”

“You’re the one who started it,” he whispered back, looking down at his lap.

Your eyes followed his, noting the small death grip you had on his cock. “Oops?” you offered up innocently, shrugging your shoulders and moving your hand off to rest more squarely on his thigh, genuinely unaware your hand had traveled up that far.

“Yeah, oops,” Bucky replied mockingly, and the vibrations got kicked up a notch.

“I didn’t know!” you said, loudly, fingers gripping into his thigh. “That story. I didn’t know that story,” you quickly tried to recover. “That’s um… that’s a new one.”

There were stifled coughs, raised eyebrows, and shrugs at your outburst before conversations resumed naturally, and the vibrations went back to a slow, steady beat. “Poker face,” Bucky taunted.

It was sheer stubbornness that kept your face neutral and your body relaxed, despite each pulse of the vibrator making you grow wetter. But as your high crept closer, you felt your face begin to warm as you tried to keep control. “B-Bucky,” you breathed, trying to get his attention, fingernails digging into his thigh as you reached for your water glass, hoping the cold water would soothe you.

He turned his head to press a kiss to your cheek, using the chance to coo “Gonna cum? Right here at dinner in front of all our friends?” in your ear.

You could have slapped the sadistic smirk off his face as you nodded, not trusting yourself to speak as your moan rumbled low in your throat. 

“Naughty girl,” he tsked, masking his words to you with another kiss.

The vibrations came to a complete stop, and the breath you’d been holding came out in an angry huff. He could at least have the decency of letting you finish. You busied yourself with draining your water glass, shooting daggers at your boyfriend all the while.

“More water, miss?” a waiter asked as main dishes were passed around.

“Yes, please,” you nodded, and drinking half of the refill in one gulp.

You thought that Bucky had had his fun, watching you squirm and try to keep composure. You thought you’d make it through the rest of dinner, the exhilaration enough to tide you both over until you were home. But it was clear Bucky wasn’t quite finished with his game, as you felt his hand slide up your skirt, a finger pushing your panties out of his way before sliding through your folds, humming his delight in how soaked his finger became. “Bucky,” you choked out when that same finger started to draw circles on your clit. “Could you pass the salt?”

“Course, doll,” he grinned, handing you the salt shaker.

“Thank you,” you replied, gritting your teeth, his finger slow and torturous against your clit.

The sound of everyone enjoying their food was enough to mask your moan when the slow vibrations started up again. “Good food,” you commented, easing out another moan. “Wish there was more.”

Bucky took the hint, the vibrations coming faster, the pulsing stronger, and his finger still drawing the slow and torturous circles on your clit. “Really enjoying your food there, doll?” Bucky teased you.

“Mhm,” you nodded frantically, forcing yourself to take another bite. “So good.”

Stealthily, Bucky switched the vibrator on the highest setting, and it took every ounce of willpower you had to not lose it. Bucky felt the tremor beginning in your legs, and watched as beads of sweat started to roll down your flushed face. Even your neck was covered in a blush as your orgasm built.

As to not draw too much attention, Bucky guided your head to his shoulder, metal fingertips cool against your heated skin. “Cum quietly,” he murmured so only you could hear him. “That’s it, good girl,” he coaxed you through your orgasm, as you squeezed your eyes shut tight in his shoulder, your own fingers death gripping any part of him you could find as you let out a long low whimper. “Very good girl,” he praised, a soft kiss finding its way to your temple, as he removed his hand from your clit, smoothing your skirt back into place. Then, loudly he went “Doll, you feeling okay?”

You shook your head, making your moan sound as pitiful as you could. “Think I ate too fast,” you said, pulling away from his shoulder to look at him.

“Jesus, Y/N, you look like you’re either going to faint,” Steve started.

“Or blow chunks,” Tony finished.

“Oh, sweetie, you should go home and get some rest,” Natasha told you.

“Yeah, honestly Barnes, what were you thinking dragging her out when she’s clearly sick?” Tony scolded Bucky.

“Honestly, it’s probably nothing guys,” you tried to defuse. “The food was so good, I probably just ate too fast. Nothing a little rest won’t fix.”

“Mmm, yeah,” Peter spoke up. “I used to eat so fast I’d get stomach aches all the time. But now? I can eat as fast as I want and nothing happens. Hey, Y/N, maybe I can find that spider and have it bite you, too! Then you won’t get sick when you eat!”

You laughed at the youngest Avengers enthusiasm. “I’ll pass for now, Pete, but thanks. I’ll keep that in mind next time I eat my way into a stomach ache. Bucky? Can we go?”

“Yeah, course, doll.”

Quickly you said your goodbyes, before letting Bucky usher you out of the restaurant, both of you letting out a loud laugh once you were safely in the parking lot. “You!” you kept laughing, doubling over and pointing a finger at Bucky. “You’re an asshole!”

“How am I the asshole? This was your idea!” he reminded you, as he helped you into the car.

“You only edge me during punishments and that wasn’t a punishment, Bucky.”

He pulled a face, his fingers drumming against the hood of the car as he thought through the evening. “Oh! Shit, doll, I didn’t realize how close you were the first time. I’m sorry.” His eyes were wide and apologetic as they looked down at you.

“It’s okay,” you told him, smiling up at him. “That was fun. Just wish I could get you back.”

“Oh… believe me. You got me back.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. So can we go home before I rip through my jeans? I don’t think they can grow much tighter.”

“Or…” you suggested, hooking a finger through his belt loop to tug him closer to you. “We could fuck here in the car.”

“God, I love you, doll,” he growled, leaning down to press a hungry kiss to your lips, one of his hands pulling on the lever of your seat to recline it, the only sound being your giggles and the car door pulling shut as he climbed on top of you.

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Tag List

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