#some could be invested and a great deal can also be donated
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[ID: Tags reading: "1) take the one time payment 2) invest most of it 3) earn MORE than $1000 a day for the rest of your life. Getting annual returns over 3.65% would not be hard." end ID]
Explain your reasoning plzzz
#ok so I voted the 10mil one and basically its bc money now is more valuable than money later#I dont think its a bad choice to choose 1k every day at all I think both choices are valid#I would rather have the lump sum#set aside a large portion for retirement [comma] some for general savings [comma] and then ration the rest out over a period of time#some could be invested and a great deal can also be donated#my biggest issue with the 1k per day is that as money inflates over time 1k may be a lot less than it is now#if Im given 10mil Right Now then I can put it in places/accounts that will make up for the inflation#and I'll be given a really big and nice safety net of savings to do what I need with that I won't have to worry about#taking risks to do things like find a good job or not work 40 hours per week every week forever#but to reiterate there are also pros to the 1k per day option but ultimately you can't predict the future and inflation and stuff
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Emily Guilmette, Nonprofit Organization Metrics
A nonprofit organization that I think is incredible is St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Founded by Danny Thomas in 1962, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital is a 501 nonprofit medical corporation and a pediatric treatment and research facility that focuses on severe diseases (such as leukemia and other cancers) in children and is located in Memphis Tennessee. When looking at the vanity metrics of some of their social media sites (vanity metrics is an analytic item that can be measured but is not a signifier of real return on investment such as followers) I checked two of their social media sites which were Instagram and TikTok. When evaluating the vanity metrics of these sites, both the platforms had a high following status (Instagram with 577k followers and TikTok with 668.4k followers) and each post on each site had a lot of interactions. One video posted to TikTok had 29.8M views and another had around 7M views. These videos also had around 100K likes as well, however few comments. As for the interactions on Instagram, there were many likes and comments of the posts as well and I noticed that the organization is regularly active on TikTok, but especially Instagram since they have 3,777 posts posted to their page. Just from that information alone, the organization is doing an excellent job with using their social media platform to get there point, mission, and information across to the world and it is evident that people have received their information just by the interactions on the social media sites. However, I do think that on their TikTok page they could make it so people can comment on their videos, some people may have really good ideas and want to say something nice to the children and workers of the organization and I think that would be a nice touch. I also think that their TikTok page should have a link to their organization up there too, but their Instagram page does at least have a link. When it comes to the behavioral metrics (measures the different ways users interact with the app) on the social media sites of this organization, specifically the impact action, St. Jude has 106K subscribers on YouTube and has 422.6K followers on Twitter (X). The reason I chose to evaluate this specific behavioral metric is because I wanted to know how many people they were able to reach out to because without a big following it would be hard to get their point across. As for the channel metrics of their social media sites, their YouTube channel has URL links up so people can donate to their organization right from the social media platform and their Instagram page is the same way too. The reason I choose to investigate this is because I think it is extremely important to have the link up to make it not only easier for the organization but for the people donating. If that was not the case some people might get frustrated and lose the motivation to donate unfortunately because we live in a society where things need to be fast and efficient. I think the sites will gain value from this feature, making the whole donation process easier. Finally, one advanced metric that the organization uses on their social media platforms is tone. The organization really sets the tone on their sites. They let people know how serious the issues these children are dealing with are and let you know how much they care about the children and make sure the organization runs and works properly for the children and their families. I wanted to investigate this because without the right tone of these posts you might send the wrong message and lose people’s attention and want to donate. It is important for the organization to get their point across correctly. Overall, I think St. Jude’s Research Hospital for Children is an incredible organization with a great purpose and after research the metrics of their social media platforms, they show to be doing a good job of getting their point across to help these children and their families by using these platforms.
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How do you get rid of a car that won't start: 6 ways you can do it
A non-starting car disposal can be a challenge, yet a necessary process requires careful consideration to get maximum benefits. When dealing with extensive repair costs or maximizing returns, you should understand the available options to get rid of. So, just how do you get rid of a car that won’t start? Just a few ideas: Contact local mechanics and repair shops to see if they're interested in buying it for parts. You can also contact the dealer for an assessment or explore selling individual components. If all else fails, consider selling it at an auction house. Here, we'll discuss the options available for getting rid of a car that won't start. So, let's say goodbye to your non-starting car by continuing to read.
How Do You Get Rid of a Car That Won't Start: Discover the 6 Ways
A car that won't start is an issue. It could be a mechanical or electrical failure that requires costly repairs or simply due to aging. However, you have several options to get rid of your car that won't start. - Contact local mechanics and repair shops - Get in touch with the dealer assessment - Explore selling individual components - Check Trade-In Options - Car Wrecker - Donate Your Vehicle To Charity 01. Contact Local Mechanics and Repair Shops To contact local mechanics and repair shops, call them and inquire if they'd like to buy your non-starting car for parts. Provide them with the repair estimates you obtained earlier to give them an idea of the potential costs of fixing the vehicle. When contacting the shops, be prepared to provide details about your car's make, model, and condition. Explain that you're looking to sell the vehicle without modifying it, and ask if they'd be willing to make an offer. Some shops may find value in salvaging components from your car, making it a potential win-win situation. 02. Get in touch with the Dealer Assessment
Contact new and used car dealerships in your area to get the dealer assessment for your non-starting car. Start by researching local dealerships and their contact information. You can find this information online or in phone directories. Reach out to each dealership and explain your situation. Schedule an appointment for them to assess your car. The dealership will examine your vehicle's value and potential for parts salvage during the assessment. Dealerships may be interested in specific parts of your vehicle, even if they can't resell it. Ask dealerships about salvageable components and potential value so you can decide accordingly. This assessment will help guide your next steps in removing your non-starting car. 03. Explore Selling Individual Components
Another option for getting rid of a non-starting car is to consider selling its components. This can be a lucrative choice, especially if you have an older or luxury model. Your first step should be to identify the valuable parts of your car. Look for components like the engine, transmission, and electronics, often in high demand. Next, look for online forums and listings that allow you to sell components directly. You may also be able to find a local buyer who is interested in the parts. Prepare to negotiate on price, as buyers often try to get a discount for buying individual pieces instead of an entire car. Be sure to accurately describe the condition of the parts and provide clear photos. Remember, this process may take time, but it can maximize the overall return on your investment. 04: Check Trade-In Options
You can trade in your old car for a newer model through a car dealership or an online service. This can be a great option if you want to upgrade but don’t have the cash to purchase the new vehicle outright. Before committing to this option, be sure to research what type of trade-in value your old car will fetch. It’s also important to factor in additional costs like taxes and fees that may come with the new vehicle purchase. Remember that you can't get a reasonable trade-in amount if no one is willing to buy it. You can always turn to selling it privately. 05. Car Wrecker
If you have explored selling individual components of your non-starting car, the next way is to consider a car wrecker. Locate a nearby auction house and inquire about a managed sale for your vehicle. Provide accurate details about the car, including its make, model, year, and any known issues. Adding a reserve price allows you to set a minimum selling price. The auction house will then proceed with the auction, marketing your car to potential buyers. Once your car is sold, you can collect the proceeds from the auction. The auction house handles all the paperwork and logistics for you. 06. Donate Your Vehicle To Charity
Getting rid of a car that won't start by donation has several rewards. One you may not even think of, is self-satisfaction. By removing an eye-sore from your property is removing a reminder of a failed project or just improving the looks of your property. You can look at it as a positive step to moving forward. There are also tax credits you can receive for donating vehicles and such. But the best part is that your donation goes towards great causes. There are many donations of vehicle programs that help kids, homeless people, veterans and so much more. Click here to learn more about Donating Your Car.
When it's not worth fixing a car that won't start?
Assess the overall condition of your vehicle. If your car is old and has a high mileage, it's more likely that additional problems will arise. Next, calculate the cost of repairs. If the repair costs are close to or exceed the value of your car, it's not financially wise to continue fixing it. Also, consider the safety aspect. If your car has significant mechanical issues that can compromise your safety, it's time to let go.
Is it possible to donate my non-starting car to a charity?
Donating your non-starting car to a charity is a viable option. While it may seem counterintuitive, many charities are willing to accept non-starting vehicles as donations. If the charity agrees to accept your non-starting car, they'll typically arrange for a towing service to pick it up from your location.
Can I sell a non-starting car with outstanding loans or liens?
If you have outstanding loans or liens on your non-starting car, you must contact your lender to discuss your options before selling it. Your lender will inform you of the amount you owe on the loan or lien. This will help you understand the financial implications of selling the car.
Get the Most Value from Your Non-Starting Car
As you can see, if you find yourself with a car that won't start and is not worth the cost of fixing, a few options are available. Each option comes with its own set of considerations, from selling valuable components to donating to a charitable cause. The key lies in understanding the circumstances surrounding the non-starting vehicle and choosing the method that aligns with practical and personal priorities. In regards to junk car removal companies or figuring out which parts are worth selling, research and planning are key to making the most out of any situation. Ultimately, there are ways to move on from your non-starting car and find a solution that suits your needs. Ryan David Read the full article
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Top 13 Benefits of Hiring a Professional Junk Removal Company
Do you have a lot of junk you need to dispose of? It's not necessary to wait until spring to start cleaning! The urge to clear out clutter can happen at any time of the year. And when you're ready to do it to clean, here's the reason you should engage an expert.
There are many advantages of hiring junk removal companies
1. Time-saving
Professionally-run junk removal service like 1-800-GOTJUNK is a great option. clean up your messy space or cluttered office storage room you have more time with your family, friends, and important business clients. Instead of scheduling a dumpster rental and trying to determine fees and permits, junk removal services are a simple phone one call away. You won't need to go through the hassle or time in organizing logistics. Certain junk removal firms provide same-day service!
2. Save money
When you reduce your time, you also save money. For business owners in industries like property management, real estate, and home construction, hiring an expert junk removal service is expensive, but you'll make money by investing your time into your business.
3. Trust a professional to assist you.
There are many plywood-sided trucks that offer junk removal at a discounted price. It's impossible to get peace of mind when you are dealing with your house or business.
4. Space is yours once more
More space often enables big dreams. Baby nursery? Guest room? Car in garage just for a moment? Hobby room? That's enough.
5. Declutter
Clutter in the home or business saps energy. Clean, uncluttered living spaces and workspaces promote harmony and positive flow of energy.
6. Reduce environmental footprint
Make sure you inquire about recycling before you employ junk removal marketing. You can recycle almost everything nowadays and it's good for your health to know that your junk won’t end up in the trash. It's worth calling a professional to help you visualize how much effort and time it would take to properly dispose off the junk.
7. Donate to a charity
Furniture for offices and homes, including large household furniture as well as appliances and electronic devices can be donated to charities. Knowing that your items will get another purpose can make it easier to get rid of it.
8. Reduce safety hazards
The risk of junk-induced injury has actually made newspaper headlines. This is a serious problem. If you're noticing that unneeded items are blocking your hallways, or garden clutter transforms a peaceful walk through the backyard into a gruelling obstacle course It's time to clear out the junk! Also, when you work on a site, debris that is scattered can be a safety hazard.
9. Keep up the good work!
First impressions are crucial to homeowners with visiting guests. They're essential for the business owner inviting customers into the office. You can make junk an obstruction, and therefore eliminate it!
10. Peace of mind
Ultimately, professional junk removal can give you peace of mind. Just point your finger and magically the junk is gone, space is returned with no effort on your part. Take a look at the 9 reasons to engage a professional junk removal company each of them contributes to the restoration of peace of mind.
11. Save yourself from injury
Many large items such as pianos and pool tables, require teamwork to remove because of their weight. Attempting to haul certain items without help from an expert could increase your chances of injury. Some items also require expertise to disassemble before being in a position to take them out of your home. Therefore, it is recommended to leave this task an expert junk hauler!
12. Ready to handle emergencies
Junk removal firms can manage cleanup after disasters like extreme weather, fires, and flooding. Junk removal companies can handle the cleanup of debris quickly and safely.
13. Capable of managing large-scale projects
It is impossible to handle certain types of work by yourself, such as large-scale renovations for businesses or foreclosures. Commercial jobs of a large size can be handled effortlessly by junk removal companies with more trucks, equipment, and manpower.
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I have been beckoned and I have answered!
I third the investments angle. Now what to invest in is the question. Donations and charity are still on the table, but they don’t really turn a profit. People who get handouts typically don’t appreciate what they get. Great for reputations sake though. Maybe some tax breaks too.
And I like the triple identities bit @lar-mx. To be Jaune is to suffer and adding more onto the pile by giving him yet another reputation to deal with. Well, deal with after he’s told this third angle exists because he’s to busy and dense to realize it himself. What’s the moniker you were thinking of for this one? Golden Bear? And that could be a good separation of his identities. The Knight works in person and the other works behind the scenes. Something to counter LaCroix. One who basks in the limelight with shallow virtue signaling for his vanity vs one who supports everyone from the shadows and refuses to even give his name. A politician who doublespeaks and cares about his own pockets vs. a ‘crook’ who’s unapologetically sassy and sarcastic but does more to help Vale than most politicians do. Heck people might even appreciate his snark. At least they know he’s being upfront with them vs. the usual false smiles and word games of the elite. (He probably doesn’t have the mental energy to play those game with people with his Hunts.) Oftentimes the sole difference between a hero and villain is perception. If we go that route that is.
I’d go for a company that makes things like Tower Gardens. (My mom knows someone in this business that I can send ya the link to if you’re interested in one of these. I can attest personally to the quality and quantity of food they produce) Big cities are known for their food deserts after all, especially those with high crime rates. Having local fresh food farms would decrease the need for imports, lowering prices while increasing the supply. The local restaurants can have a cheaper and better source to improve their menus, further adding to the economies. Fresh food is also more nutritious, improving local health ergo quality of life. And if that organization can reach to Vacuo, an arid environment not suited to normal farming, then even more for everyone.
Heck those farms can also be a form of juvenile justice for the normal punks. Make them do something worthwhile while they’re ‘serving time’.
One my mom suggested was buying an old building and renting out the spaces for artists. Low rent for those struggling, and updating it could also put those with construction experience in for work. If Bear has any people like that, I’m sure they’ll appreciate doing some more constructive work than just criminal jobs. Lower Jaune’s cost hiring out too. It puts activities inside an otherwise abandoned building, encouraging growth in that area and more businesses as well. Nobody likes seeing an empty building. Occupied buildings also deter more unsavory activities, raising the quality of the neighborhood. It could also bolster his reputation as ‘someone who cares for the little guy. Who respects and encourages the arts in all their forms.’ The Great War was fought over free expression, and by extension freedom, in the first place. There could also be a group dedicated to fulfilling the original goal of the Great War, working to suppress freedom from the shadows since brute force failed last time. Yet another headache for Jaune, and potentially also for Cinder since she’s after world domination as well.
Jaune can also make a good impression on the local artisans and blue collar guys. He’s not perturbed by them being dirty, saying something like ‘I don’t trust a man who’s afraid to get his hands dirty’ or something along those lines. It’s a little thing to him, being the Shadow Knight and all what’s a bit of grime or stains, but to normies who’re expecting someone with ‘money’ to despise the regular Joe to actually respect them is a huge thing. How many times have we been burned by big faceless companies in real life? Or talked down to by some ‘educated’ office jokey with no sense of the real world? Respecting the normal people creates a circle effect where people start talking him up and pushing their friends to buy from him.
He can also help fund some groups looking into other means of… something. Jacques and Watts are economic powerhouses and have a stranglehold on their areas of business. Something to try and crack that chokehold, give them a thorn in their side. Monopolies lead to stagnation after all.
Although Jaune could use some of that money to fund his Shadow Watch, what could be considered a militia, that he has yet to find out about. I’m sure River would be most appreciative. Giving them some safe houses to meet and resupply for their hunts. They can deal with the small fry, culling issues before they grow, while the more experienced and better equipped team go after the bigger fish. After Jaune’s eventual passing the Shadow Watch can continue in his stead. Further drive up his enigmatic reputation.
Elf and Dwarf allies are fine, any other fantasy race friends are, but not now. With the lack of magic in Remnant they’d have to be in another dimension. Which leads to requiring the Webway and a dependable navigation device to traverse. It’s too early to trust Fey Neo that much. She’s just as likely to lead them to a raiding party as she is to a smithy right now. Unless this is where we get introduced to Jessica or a Tinkerbell fairy to help out? I think the gang need to learn to work together, get stronger, and deal with Roman before we start galavanting to other realms.
But for getting dwarf allies, how about a mix of aid and revenge. Jaune helps the dwarf in question get his revenge? Like an Inigo Montoya situation? So it turns into a mix of debt and respect.
For a laugh have Jaune rescue the guy by having them swim away from danger, however dwarves can’t swim usually so Jaune has to dump him in a barrel and float him away that way.
“If you let me drown I’m gonna kill ya!”
Elves can befriended by simply being decent people. Humans might be a rarity in the magic world, so they could see humans as fragile. Ya know, despite five of them with magic and one Batman. Then again if we’re going with Tolkien like Elves then they’re superior to humans in both magic and martial prowess, not to mention immortal and leagues wiser, so it makes sense. However the human drive to persevere despite the impossible is a trait Elves are a little short on, so they can earn the Elves respect that way.
Since Jaune has Crocea, how about his Shield or that scar hiding charm? Or how about some kinda back harness to allow him to carry more weapons? Something to allow him to basically throw whatever he was using on his back and grab whatever he needs next without having to struggle with properly sheathing it. Great for when he’s on the move. Do you think Jaune can get a refund on some of his Xiong gear now that he has better armor?
Another Magical Girl Discusion thread?
I summon thous, writers of the apocalypse.
@noneatnonedotcom @lonesilverw0lf @lar-mx
I couldn't find the old thread, and it was getting pretty long, so I made a new one.
So, what should Jaune do with his money? He's got capital from the Xiongs, but it's dirty money, how would he use it? Anonymous donation? Investing in local business? Help start a local militia?
Also, now that he's gotten his +3 platemail and a ring of luck (Which is just a bonus to AC), what should be his next gear that he should get that would be appropriate?
Also, what would you'll think about Jaune finding a dwarf smith to maintain his gear? He's probably save one and it's owes him a life-debt. It'd be a fun contrast if the girls got elf servants somehow.
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TLDR, because of preexisting biases and subtleties in story telling methods, c!Philza was set up to fail from the start. Whichever direction he took his character, a big chunk of the fandom was going to hate him. Props to Philza for choosing an interesting path and getting himself there as gracefully as possible. I’ll use everyone’s names to refer to the content creators unless specified otherwise. If you feel like I overlook or misinterpret anything please give your opinion in the tags, comments, or wherever else you like!
My first thought is with how he came into the story. c!Philza is the only character on the SMP to have plot points and head canons set in stone by other people before the creator even got to develop their storyline. He was set up as a paragon hero dad who would just solve all the problems in the story. To live up to that role he would need to protect every member of the SBI (and whoever else the fandom decided) from any form of conflict. That’s like if Gandalf flew with the eagles to destroy the Ring as soon as Bilbo found it in the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings just never happens. Sure, great, Frodo isn’t psychologically tortured by the Ring for three books, but where is our story?
That argument is only looking at the extreme end of the spectrum. A less extreme argument is that even if he isn't perfect, Philza should have tried a little harder to protect “his kids.” What does that phrase mean? c!Wilbur? He was dead, and there have been a lot of posts on whether c!Phil had to kill him, but from a creator point of view, Wilbur wrote that in. Philza could only decide how he was going to work with it. Philza had his character struggle with how to deal with those emotions and guilt over whether what he did was right. He tried to figure out what had broken his son so terribly and when he found the source he tried to stop a tragedy like that from ever occurring again. He still isn’t over it, but he has taken steps towards trying to make things right as he understands things. Tommy didn’t even know people thought Phil was his dad until either Tubbo or a donation brought it up weeks after November 16th. Philza has said before that as far as he’s aware, his only canonical son is c!Wilbur.
My only complaint about c!Philza is that some of his motivation feels cherry picked to end up on the same side as Techno. Can you blame Philza, though? Techno is the person Philza knows best on the server aside from Wilbur (who wasn’t actively in the plot at that point), and they love working together. I think we underappreciate Philza’s story telling skills in getting from point A to point B, and I think a lot of people missed how he got there.
Philza’s story telling is very subtle compared to what we’re used to on the SMP. Tommy will tell us every stream that his current motivation is to get his disks back or to build a hotel. Techno will give us soliloquies about his current feelings and speeches on why c!Techno thinks he’s right. Philza does some of these things, but he also frequently uses little aside comments and builds things up gradually enough that if you’re not paying attention you miss things. In addition a lot of the details are cleared up by questions in his donations, and most people who dislike his character probably don’t watch his whole streams. This leads to confusion about what c!Philza wants and why he does things that ends with people concluding that he’s just a bad person or a poorly written character.
The last point I want to make is the amount of hate he gets in comparison to characters with similar values (namely c!Techno). Because of the story telling differences even people who don’t agree with c!Techno have an easier time understanding his reasoning and are less predisposed to hate him. Techno also explains when certain head canons don’t line up with his character and is very assertive when fandom needs to stay separate to make the story work. There are more people ready to defend Techno because his fanbase is bigger. c!Philza comes with a more complicated backstory, and he’s an easier target for anyone who is upset at the destruction of L’manburg or that he didn’t come in and fix everything like they wanted him to.
Philza was given a difficult foundation to build his character off of, and c!Philza isn’t perfect but he shouldn’t be. The nuance is what makes him and his story interesting. If you dislike the character for his flaws, I’m glad you’re able to be invested in the story and I hope you continue to enjoy it! But there’s a line between analysis and bashing, and I think people could cross it a little less often.
#zablr am I doing it right?#I love character discourse#I wish Phiza got more of it instead of the two same bashing posts repeated#can we get more cc!philza love please#philza#technoblade#not tagging tommy#I'm sure they're tired of these complaints#but that doesn't make the complaints less valid or important#dream smp#analysis#dream smp analysis#long post#discourse#meta#I didn't even get into treating his character as more than a dad#some people only know phil through other sbi content and it shows#mt's words
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a/n: I’ve been reminiscing on a lot of cheesy romcoms and one of my favorite tropes are “dates that aren’t officially dates but basically are dates.” we love a good yearning. that said, here are some #unofficialofficialdates that the boys use to spend time with you!
tw: mentions of drugs
❥ ┋ ❝ bucci gang & what excuses they use to get closer to you!
bruno bucciarati.
Bucciarati gets closer to you by having you assist him at “fundraisers.”
Passione holds a handful of events throughout the year. elaborate parties with expensive champagne, mindless chatter, and some very high-profile attendees. people will join to officialize deals, buy drugs, and of course, donate to keep Passione thriving.
Bucciarati usually goes alone, acting as a representative for his escort team. this isn’t the type of scene you’d see the others at. but up until your joining, you’ve found yourself as his sole companion.
it began as a way to familiarize yourself with mobster life. his idea, of course. although he didn’t push the idea, he’d be lying if he said he hoped you would accept. ↳ “it’s not required, but the company would be nice.”
it’s an odd affair. celebrities and politicians join and no one blinks an eye. it’s not where you’d usually find yourself on a Saturday night, with you and your partner dressed to the nines (okay, maybe not a usual scene for you; Bucciarati always had something beautiful draped onto his figure).
the hors d'oeuvres and cocktails are nice, at least. but you find yourself drawn to your conversations with Bucciarati the most.
he makes you feel welcome at every event, that you deserve to be here as much as the starlet making her grand appearance. you’re unsure that you can handle business with new clients, but the way he talks to you is so reassuring and supportive that you quickly help the gang obtain new patrons.
you can’t help but notice that his speech became more casual after the first outing. he’s a fan of crude jokes and local gossip, you find. but you also notice the hand at your hip as he guides you to every following fundraiser. if you look at him while he he does so, he’d send a the kindest grin. ↳ “see? you’re a natural. we need to work on your eye contact, though. clients respond better when they see those pretty eyes look back at them.”
that shameless flirtation came out after your fifth fundraiser. by that point, Bucciarati made less of an effort to hide his attraction toward you. all the other patrons thought you to be a couple. why not play the part? besides, he finds your embarrassment endearing. cute, even. he’s already planning ways to make this night last longer.
leone abbacchio.
Abbacchio gets closer to you by helping you get ready for your missions.
you’re typically the first choice for espionage missions. the way you slip into parties, meetings, anything without anyone noticing is impressive, to say the least. but only part of that is thanks to your own abilities. Abbacchio does a lot of the heavy lifting behind the scenes.
it started when he noticed your god awful attempt at masquerade makeup. your contouring left much to be desired. ↳ “...please don’t tell me you’re actually going out like that.”
and so began a tradition of sorts. you usually meet him at his apartment, considering that’s where all his tools are. it was awkward at first; Abbacchio isn’t the best conversationalist, but he did try to seem somewhat engaged in whatever you had to say.
with time, however, it became easier. less awkward. Abbacchio shares whatever wine (and gossip) he has at his disposal that week. you find that his humor can be quite dry once you melt through that icy exterior. and with more time, you start to notice the tiniest smiles when you pop by.
he’s also less fussy when you ask him to do your makeup. before he would roll his eyes and ask when you were next available, but now... he just says to come by that Friday night. not without some minor teasing, though you found that to be a part of his charm. (plus, the fact you were breaking through to him was exciting in itself.)
he’s incredibly gentle when he does your makeup. he always holds your chin as he dabs liquid foundation onto your face, his hand moving your head for those hard-to-reach areas. when he does your eyeshadow, you can feel that same hand cup your cheek to keep you steady. though intimate, it’s not uncomfortable.
whenever he caught you staring at him, Abbacchio would ask what you were looking at. recently, however, you’ve noticed he merely purses his lips, swallows, and looks away. ↳ “huh. would’ve never known you could look so stunning. you’re welcome.”
his rude teasing made its appearance after eight visits. it’s an awful attempt to deny his feelings. maybe you’ll back off if he’s mean enough. but the way you smile at him after every session, how you shamelessly compliment him... he can’t help himself. he has to get closer to you in any way that he can.
giorno giovanna.
Giorno gets closer to you by asking you to help him with his hair.
you’d often watch girls fawn over Giorno whenever you went on patrols with him. and it’s warranted: his chiseled cheekbones, long lashes, and defined physique had him rival the Roman statues that lined Naples. everything about him is a piece of art. including his hair.
you caught him struggling to braid his hair shortly before your next patrol. strands would be thicker than others, and in one case, you watched as his hair tie snapped between his fingers. he obviously needed help. ↳ “well, if you’re offering. be my guest.”
so you got to work. it wasn’t a big deal; part of the issue was that Giorno couldn’t see the back of his head. you separated his hair into three strands, weaved them between each other, and tied the ends of his hair into a loop. just as you’d always seen him do it.
but once you finished, Giorno was hooked. the way your fingernails dragged along his scalp, how you were so careful to not pull his hair... it was wonderful. such a small action that felt so personal to him.
he asks you to help him with his hair whenever he can. not too frequently that you’d catch on, though. and he knows you well enough to know you wouldn’t deny his request. you’re far too kind. it’s a little manipulative on his end, but he’s also aware that you wouldn’t mind.
it never feels awkward. he asks you about your day while you work. sometimes he gives you a briefing about what’s on the agenda. though it seems casual on your end, as mentioned, Giorno finds the experience quite intimate. ↳ “I don’t know what it is, but something about your touch is enough to make me feel so relaxed. ...ah, excuse me. was that too forward?”
that statement comes out after you’ve braided Giorno’s hair ten times. by that point, you’ve started to think that he doesn’t really need help with his hair. the fact that he’s started producing flowers to put in your own hair was a dead giveaway. but can you blame him? he loves seeing you blush as he tucks daisies behind your ear.
guido mista.
Mista gets closer to you by showing you his favorite quick eats.
as a long-standing resident of Naples, the gunslinger is aware of all the best restaurants in the city. from hole-in-the walls to elegant restaurants, he knows ‘em all. he has a particular soft spot for the former.
you’re the opposite of him: new to Naples and unaware of what foods await you. Mista takes it upon himself to change that. ↳ “you’ve never heard of Sorbillo and you’ve been living here for how long? ...alright, well. we’re gonna change that. you and me, Sorbillo, this Saturday.”
and thus a new tradition began. whenever you and Mista had a free Saturday night, you’d meet at whatever restaurant he recommended that week. sometimes it was seafood, other nights it was pizza, but it was always something extremely delicious (and extremely unforgettable).
he caters his choices to what you’re in the mood for. Mista’s not a picky eater by any means (so long as it’s not in fours), so he’s down for whatever you want. plus, it lets him get to know your tastes a little better.
he’s a great conversationalist. he can keep you distracted from long lines and longer food prep times. you never get the impression that he’s just making small talk, because honestly, he’s not. he genuinely wants to get to know you better. he usually asks about your life before Passione.
your weekly outings originally started as a fun hangout between two friends. but during one chilly night, Mista was quick to notice your shivering. he wasted no time in giving you his coat and hat. ↳ “hey, you don’t ever get... I dunno... bored of this, do you? I know we’ve been doing this for a while and... if you ever wanna stop, you can let me know.”
that question came up after your seventh outing. you’d never seen the gunslinger get embarrassed like this. it only comes up because Mista’s realizing how much he loves being around you. he loves when your eyes widen as you take that first bite, he loves when muse how good the food is. he needs to know where you stand before he gets too invested because honestly, he’s starting to love you as well.
narancia ghirga.
Narancia gets closer to you by asking you to help him read.
Fugo’s not the best tutor. bless him, he tries, but Narancia isn’t the best student either. the latter often spaces out while working. and when he doesn’t, he tries to distract Fugo with some meaningless chatter to end the session sooner. Fugo was quick to catch onto this.
as a result, he turned to you to tutor Narancia. it started as a joke. “if [Name] can’t do it, no one can,” he laughed. the pupil, however, was more than happy to switch tutors. ↳ “fine! [Name]’ll be a better teacher than you ever were!!”
and like that, you were Narancia’s new tutor. not that you minded. it would benefit the whole team if he could read above a primary school level. every Tuesday and Thursday, an hour before the gang’s meetings at Libeccio, you and Narancia would grab a table and go over his reading material. sometimes Fugo joins to watch Narancia’s progress, sometimes Mista to hang out and enjoy a slice of cake, but it’s normally a one-on-one lesson.
Narancia quickly realizes that he likes those lessons best. it’s much easier when the others aren’t teasing him for his inability to read words like “signorile.” plus, he likes his time alone with you. you don’t laugh. you never judge him. if he has a question, he doesn’t feel stupid to come to you about it, even outside of tutoring sessions.
he’s still distracted when he’s with you, but half the time it’s intentional, half the time it’s not. he just wants to learn more about you. he’ll take breaks between questions to ask you about yourself. Narancia usually sticks to questions regarding your hobbies and interests. lord help you if you share the same music taste because he’ll want to share all his favorite tunes with you.
lately he’s been quite diligent with his work. he’ll go a chapter ahead of what you’ve scheduled and... oh my, are those annotations? you’d never seen him smile brighter than when you praised him for his hard work. ↳ “what are we gonna do once my reading is like... really good? we’re not just gonna stop, are we?”
he asks you this after your fourth session. the question came up rather early, honestly. but Narancia was already having a lot of fun after working with you. he knew that this was going to be something worth his time. and when he saw your own smile, he knew that you were worth everything, too.
pannacotta fugo.
Fugo gets closer to you by requesting your help planning missions.
most of the gang’s missions are planned by Fugo himself. while he is a college dropout, he still spent hundreds of hours studying Italian history and law. he can be trusted to help the escort team avoid law enforcement.
but there was one job he couldn’t wrap his head around. it was a breaking-and-entering mission meant for Bucciarati and Narancia. they were supposed to cross through an Armani outlet, yet... the security was fool proof. there was no way to cleanly get through it, even with Bucciarati’s Sticky Fingers. that was when you came in and proved him wrong. ↳ “[Name], would you mind helping me with this next mission? it’s a reconnaissance job for Abbacchio.”
he started coming to you whenever he felt stuck. you’re one of the few people he trusts with a task as important as this one. besides, you’d already proved that you were more than capable to untangle tough situations.
working with you is a mixed bag, though. sure, you help Fugo resolve his questions, but you make him feel so... small. it’s not that you do it on purpose. it’s just that being smart is all that he has. it’s all he’s ever known. and here you come, making these problems seem like they were nothing.
yet he can’t get enough of you. you don’t make it seem like these things are a big deal. he loves when you place your hand on his arm and praise him when he figures it out himself. god, he hates that he can’t look you in the eye; he can only imagine how lovely you look when you’re glowing.
there’s one moment that will stick with you forever. it was an infiltration mission meant for the whole team, the eleventh job you’d worked on with him. it took hours of back-and-forth bantering, Fugo having to leave the room to go scream outside, and one of Narancia’s awful energy drinks until Fugo figured it out. and when he did, you’ll never forget how he was beaming, his fingers laced with yours as he thanked you for your help. it’s too bad it didn’t last that long, for he quickly became embarrassed and turned away. ↳ “[Name]! I have another mission to work on with you! when are you free?”
Fugo saw you as his planning partner after that occurrence. he came to you with every mission he received; after all, he needs you to make sure that there aren’t any holes. he wants to chase every high he can with you. hell, every low if you’ll let him. he wants to do everything and more with you.
#jjba#JoJo's Bizarre Adventure#bucci gang#golden wind#Giorno Giovanna#Pannacotta Fugo#Bruno Bucciarati#Narancia Ghirga#guido mista#leone abbacchio#headcanons#long post#drugs/#WHEW it took me two days to write this#I kept getting burnt out :')#it's been a hot minute since I wrote something like this#but I'm so happy w how it came out!!
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:0 could I have a beel,asmo,belphie,lucifer,mammon, satan (not including levi) and diavolo playing videogames? I thought it would be kinda funny since they're all really old- except for levi of course haha
Ohhh this should be fun!
Decided to do individual HCs for this one instead of a group thing so they wouldn’t be limited to multiplayer games.
Most of them, save for a certain prince, have been exposed to games a fair amount by proximity to Levi.
---
Lucifer:
Lucifer has a Mononoke Land account so that he’ll get the email notifications for events and can therefore keep track of Levi’s whereabouts. He’s never played the game, though, nor downloaded the app, and he has no intention of doing so.
In general, he’s not much of a gamer. The most gaming he gets done is minesweeper on Windows XP. He doesn’t have the time, and it was never something he could get into.
That isn’t to say that he owns zero games, though. His favorite genre is turn-based strategy, because he can afford to look away from them, and they make him think and plan.
He doesn’t like the hyper-realistic ones, though. Things like Civilization and Here Be Dragons are up his alley, Hearts of Iron not so much.
He doesn’t care too much about the story, but a good soundtrack is mandatory.
Also he’s an old man so the controls also have to be intuitive or he just won’t be able to play. Why is he jumping when he presses A he thought that was the attack button.
The type of player who needs to get every achievement. A completionist.
When the group gets together for the rare multiplayer night, he has no idea what he’s doing and yet still manages to do well. It’s kind of infuriating.
He won’t make alliances with anyone, no, it’s every man for himself. He also actively targets Mammon no matter what game they’re playing.
The fact that he doesn’t really get it protects his pride when Levi inevitably wipes the floor with him.
Mammon:
Mammon actually does game a little bit in his spare time, mostly with Levi. He’s got a couple consoles and is more open to different genres than Lucifer is.
He thrives in any game where the main goal is to rack up as many points or as much profit as possible. He’s undefeated in tycoons and pinball. (Tetris is an exception; he’s terrible at Tetris. Stupid spacial recognition.)
The RNG elements boil down to his insane luck, but he’s actually very smart when it comes to investments and stuff, so it’s not like he’s only using his luck to get by.
If the games have multiplayer, even better! Nothing like kicking Levi, MC and Belphie’s asses in a game of Fortune Street!
He also tends to like the action-focused games that Levi plays. Not so much into turn-based RPGs, but he enjoys stuff where the enemies spawn, like in Zelda or Rune Factory. And he’s great at button mashing in fighting games, although Levi, who actually knows how to play them, always beats him.
Mammon uses items as soon as he gets them, and is too busy rushing a boss to care about learning its patterns and strategizing.
Skips cutscenes even on his first run. Levi and Satan hate him for it.
Like mentioned before, he gets an unfair disadvantage in game nights because everyone targets him. Especially in those games with RNG, because otherwise he WILL win.
He’s banned from PTW games because he will indeed PTW.
Satan:
Satan is another one who doesn’t play too many games, and that might be for the best because he’s a nightmare to play with.
The sorest loser, and a pretty nasty winner too. He insists on the hardest difficulty and then rage quits at the slightest inconvenience.
He will play when prompted, though; he’s not above hanging out with his brothers. His favorite sorts of games are ones with a good story and/or good puzzles. His planning is more on the tactics side, as opposed to Lucifer’s strategy, so he would love Fire Emblem.
He WILL drop a game if the story isn’t holding his attention, and he’s done so in the past.
Overly cautious and hoards resources. He takes the safe route every time.
Also another completionist.
Beel would often ask Satan to help him find out which art pieces were originals and safe to buy in Animal Crossing, and Satan got a little bit interested and ended up making a resident on Beel’s cartridge so the donations could be in his name. He went on a mini-campaign to drive out the residents he didn’t like, but one of them turned out to be Beel's favorite and he felt terrible about it for weeks.
During family game nights, everyone is always torn between appeasing Satan and telling him to deal with it when he loses.
He also gets angry if he catches on to the fact that they’re letting him win, though.
Probably a genwunner.
Asmodeus:
Asmo enjoys video games. They don’t fit into his aesthetic so he’s never really tried to understand them, but he doesn’t dislike them by any means.
Gaming is becoming more mainstream though, right? That’s a whole new audience that could appreciate him. Maybe, just maybe, he can let himself be a bit of a geek.
Unsurprisingly, he’s got a penchant for games with customization options. Surprisingly, he also really enjoys FPS games. If he and Levi ever played at the same time, it would be chaos in the House of Lamentation.
As opposed to his in-your-face attitude, he likes to play sniper units.
He said he wants to tap into the gaming community, but he’s not very good at most of the games he plays so he’s too embarrassed to actually do so. He does, however, play the Sims on livestream. He does his best to make the steamiest and most dramatic scenarios happen, and he’ll hold strawpolls to let his viewers make some choices.
Asmo also plays Animal Crossing like a few other brothers, but his island is so well groomed and with just the right residents, it feels like you’re touring an uncanny dystopia and Asmo is the dictator.
When the group gets together, he usually ends up doing the worst. He’s more interested in executing perfect combos than actually dealing damage, so he’s not aggressive enough to get anything done against players like Levi and Satan.
He’s also not very good at teamwork; he starts yelling at his partner very quickly.
Beelzebub:
Beel doesn’t have a lot of “gamer” in him, but some of his brothers seem to like it so he decided to give it a go. Turns out his hands are too big, but he makes do. Kind of.
You’d expect a sports game to be the best for him, since he’s so athletic. However, it’s BECAUSE he’s so athletic that this sort of game isn’t in his library. He gets too antsy and bored tapping buttons instead of actually playing the sport.
Beel’s also not an aggressive player in any sense of the word. He feels guilty even hurting the most basic of slimes.
No, no games are better for Beel than the stress-free, casual life simulators. Animal Crossing is no surprise his favorite one right now. Satan handles the museum for him while Beel gets to do whatever he feels like in a world where the biggest threat is a wasp.
He’ll also play other low stakes games where living your life is the main goal, like Harvest Moon and Stardew Valley. His big heart can never choose who to marry in those games.
Horror is also ok for him, because while aggression is hard for him, self-defense is not.
He got the Cooking Mama app on his D.D.D. and bit the device in half, so he’s not allowed to touch that franchise anymore.
When the gang meets up, his non-aggressive side sticks around. In fighting games, he’s more likely to dodge and steer clear of the others, and in other versus games he’s so open to compromise you’d think you were on the same team.
Satan did get him his favorite resident back.
Belphegor:
Belphie probably games the second most after Levi; it’s something that keeps him entertained but doesn’t require him to move very much at all.
I actually have no idea how to describe his preferred genres, but League of Legends and Dark Souls is basically all you need to know.
League lets him socialize a bit, and it’s the game that he and Levi play together most often. As for Dark Souls, he loves the sort of game where learning your opponent’s every move and outsmarting/outmaneuvering them is the only path to victory.
I guess that would be described as “really hard action-adventure” games? He’d also like Sekiro.
He also has his own copy of Animal Crossing to visit and play with Beel, but his island is so underdeveloped you’d think he started that same week.
Belphie is the true wild card of family game nights; sometimes he sleeps through the whole thing, while other times he can take down even Levi.
He has everyone’s habits down to a T--Mammon charges in, Asmo does too much setup, Levi’s overconfident--and he knows how to counter each and every one of them.
For someone who’s so much of a cunning player, though, he also misclicks a lot.
He’s the most likely out of his brothers to make alliances. He’s also the most likely to break alliances.
If he doesn’t think he can win, he’ll choose a player and start sabotaging the game in their favor.
Diavolo:
Lord Diavolo had read about like, Mario? The little blue hedgehog guy? But he’d never owned a gaming console before. He probably thought Neopets was peak gaming.
Levi swore to fix this grievous error, and this was also a mistake, because now Diavolo keeps trying to get Lucifer to play all these hack and slash games with him.
He has legitimately told Lucifer that “if you don’t play Devil May Cry with me THIS devil may cry!”
The games need to always have something happening in them or he’ll get bored, kind of like Satan’s need for a good story, except with action.
It’s also worth mentioning that “play a game with Diavolo” actually means “sit in the same room as Diavolo while he plays.”
And oh boy… is he terrible at these games.
He just button mashes until either he dies or all the enemies die.
Never uses any of the items he gets because he’s sure he’ll need them more later on. When, Diavolo? During the staff roll?
Will bomb a door before trying the knob.
Since he’s usually only around Lucifer, who doesn’t want to get sucked into this, and Barbatos, who honestly couldn’t care less about this, he’s been left alone and free to develop these terrible gaming habits.
It’s rare that he comes to family gaming night. Legend has it that Lucifer’s piercing glare is somehow connected to the fact that his brothers always let Diavolo win.
Masterlist
#I hope this is something like what you were hoping for!#the 'gamer' order is probably most to least:#bephie mammon asmo beel satan lucifer#at least among the brothers bc diavolo is so into it but also so SO bad#obey me#obey me one master to rule them all#obey me shall we date#shall we date obey me#obey me swd#swd obey me#obey me!#obey me headcanons#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me diavolo#kokichismango
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OPEN SKY Bakugou Katsuki x Reader
“…And never, ever forget that, your dreams are the wings that’ll help you fly.”
(L/N)(Y/N) has always been forced to live according to others’ expectations. As a member of the powerful and influential (L/N) Family, she has had to live with the heavy weight of seeing others write her destiny with no choice but just obey. But when (Y/N) finally decides to risk it all to take the only opportunity to regain the control of her own life, everything ends up going horribly wrong. Surrendered and disappointed, she receives one last chance to prove to herself and to U.A, along with some unexpected help that this was not a crazy and meaningless waste of time.
Maybe this plan could work after all…
PAIRING: (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)
GENRE/WARNINGS: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Mentions of sex (nothing explicit tho), dark themes, My poor attempt of comedy, family dysfunctionality, toxic relationships, Strong language (Courtesy of King Lord Explosion Murder 💥), Manga Spoilers.
STATUS: On going
Masterlist \( ̄︶ ̄*\))
6- Have We Got a Deal?
✒A/N:
I rewrote this chapter like three times, and hopefully, now it turned out better. I read my progress again a couple of weeks ago and it was simply, not right. I hated it so much that I decided to delete it and work again on it. The essence is the same of what I planned for this chapter and although it is a bit longer now, I took the chance to get into more detail about certain things and express better about others. The conversation between Reader-chan and Kaguya may have become a bit deeper than it used to be, but I really liked the outcome and gave me more ideas for the future plot. That's all for now.
Hope you enjoy it! q(≧▽≦q)
.
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So, my dear sweet cousin, do you accept or not?
“W-Wait a minute! You can’t be serious, do you- do you understand the implications of what you’re saying?!” You said incredulously.
“Of course I do, why do you think we are here?” Kaguya said while she took another canape and bit it. She chewed slowly while you watched her attentively, the dread in your stomach growing by increments, exasperated for her to continue. She finally swallowed and took a sip of wine.
“So? Would you care to explain what on earth is actually happening, because you don’t expect me to believe that the cause of such an unprecedented change is because of some internet gossip” You said in a demanding tone.
“Of course it’s not, but if you are patient enough I’ll explain it to you with pleasure, so you better watch your tone with me, brat.” She hissed.
You puffed out your cheeks but nodded in cue for her to continue.
“Approximately three days ago grandmother convened a last-minute meeting in her abode to discuss this problem. At first, I thought she was overreacting about this whole ordeal, after all big corporates and companies are attacked and critized all the time, but after a long, long discussion, we all agreed that the situation should not be taken lightly and it needed to be addressed as soon as possible.”
“That bad it is?” You asked slightly concerned.
“Unfortunately,” Kaguya answered. “Walls covered in graffiti in Kyoto, people protesting and messing with the employees at the ER main entrance in Hosu, broken windows in Deika and thousands and thousands of emails and nasty messages in all our social media accounts. We had to hire the services of a whole publicity agency so they could deal with the problem, hardly. It has been difficult to contain, but it paid off because it hasn’t been leaked into any important newscast. Internet, the origin of the problem, has been another story, unfortunately, in these cases, it can be very difficult and unforgiving to work with; once something enters, is nearly impossible to pull it out and if you succeed there’s always a risk it would pop up anywhere when you least expect it.” Kaguya said while she rubbed her temples.
“Internet is a huge source of news and information for thousands of people nowadays, even millions, fake or not, and also the main responsible that this situation slipped out of control faster.”
You contemplated your next words as you soaked in all the information you just were provided with, so you could express your ideas and queries as clear as possible. “Okay…but why is everybody so angry about our current family situation? I get it’s messed up, but why go as far as vandalize privite property and nag about it on social media?” You asked slightly hesitant.
“As an institution, we had always presented and preserved ourselves as a family, working to, and for the Japanese families generation after generation, no matter where we went, we always went together, always radiating the image of a happy, healthy, and unified family. Throughout the time several members of our family had made multiple presentations in public inspiring kindness and charisma, earning the trust and love of the people, which is impressive considering the heavily hero centered world we live in. Now that there are strong rumors putting all of these apparent facts into question, some people feel mocked, disappointed, and cheated… besides other things.” Kaguya mumbled.
“Sorry I could not listen the last part Kaguya.” You said puzzled.
“Don’t worry, I was just talking to myself, the important thing is that the problem is been solved, millions will be invested but is necessary. We have already started a huge ad campaign, a lot of important heroes will be involved so we can reassure and remind people why we have been their number one choice during over a century, that we still the same and will always remain the same, that we do not change, we improve.”
“I see, but you haven’t explained what does this have to do with me going to U.A-”
“As I told you she decided to make exceptions, due to the unusual situation we are going through right now we need unusual solutions as well and as part of our ad campaign and for the sake of our image she decided that two fortunate souls would have the chance to pursue a carrier of their choice, you know to placate the masses.”
“ Of course, a different series of factors would be taken into account when examining the option chosen and its potential benefits for the interests of the company, if these results are not satisfactory, the other alternatives will be analyzed to find a more suitable one and the aforementioned process will be repeated. Once we find satisfactory results, grandmother will proceed to revise everything once more and give her approval or deny it.”
“So, what you’re telling me is that we are doing the same thing but with more options? And they are going to evaluate if we can actually perform well in these new career options?” You asked unimpressed at your grandmas’ unwillingness to let the leash lose a bit even in a situation like this.
“Exactly right, it’s a change but there are still rules nonetheless.” Kaguya affirmed as she refilled her cup again. “Don’t get me wrong, she is really mad, just the thought of sacrifice two pawns in one single move is driving her crazy”
“Which selection system will be used in this case?” You asked.
“Nominations. As you already know there are two potential candidates, besides you of course.”
“Two? But there’s other three-”
“Aya has already been selected by grandmother herself, he’ll be enrolled into U.A next year via recommendation, everything is ready and processed the only thing left is to break the news on him.”
You grimaced, anxious, and preoccupied to see your already thin chances narrow even more. Your cousin, Aya was a famous vlogger and influencer with a strongly settled fanbase in and out of Japan. His videos generally focus on his daily life, trips to cool and exotic destinations, and the typical ‘eat this’, ‘do that’ challenges that always went around the internet.
He also participated in different campaigns to raise funds for different charitable causes and was a fervent advocator of animal rights and the environment, even donating millions from his own pocket. He always did his best to involve the name of the (L/N) Group, allowing them to organize, participate and sponsor some of these events helping bust their image as a caritative, conscious, and woke organization.
The bastard overflew with kindness and charisma and knew how to surround himself with the right people to manage his channel properly, although no relatable for the regular mid-class YouTube user, you had to admit that his videos were fun, entertaining, interesting, and sometimes, informative, that was the reason they were always flooded with millions of views, comments, likes and overall the crushing success he was experiencing every time he uploaded a new one.
He’s rich, famous, handsome, and had an appealing personality, add hero to that list and you’ll get the recipe to success. It wouldn't surprise you at all if he reached the top 10 of the HBC in a year just out of sheer popularity. His quirk is also fitted for a hero, he’ll need some serious training, but nothing that money and elite PT could not manage.
“How am I supposed to compete with that?” You whispered with your head down watching how your knuckles turned whiter as your hands crinkled your uniform skirt.
“Don’t trouble yourself with what you’re not supposed to, Aya is not competition, not anymore, instead try to focus on the actual competition, and may I add that you got a really big chance with my brother out of the picture. Kaguya smirked at you confidently.
“You think so?” You asked doubtfully.
“Believe me (Y/N), my sister is really smart and competent, but has the charm and social skills of a cardboard box, and Himeko, well… we could resume all her virtues, abilities and skills to shopping, makeup, gossip, selfies, social media, being pretty and an absolute headache. Grandmother got big plans for her after she graduates though, so I’ll take her out of the picture as well.”
“Big plans?” You said arching your eyebrow.
“Let’s say that, right now, we have a great, juicy, and very convenient deal that is in negociation right now and she is a vital piece to close it successfully. Don’t worry, your curiosity will be satiated soon enough.”
“What worries me is that I think I got a grasp of what you’re talking about.”
“Aw. Come on, businesses are businesses (Y/N), C’est la vie.” She said as she shrugged uninterested.
“Yeah, because is not you.” You grumbled.
“Excuse me?”
“I said, why don’t you continue.”
“You are right, where we were? Oh, right.”
‘Was she really just dismissing the topic like that?!’
“Tell me (Y/N), do you think that I would have brought you here and propose this plan to you if I didn’t have an ace up my sleeve? Please. There are some important and positive points that can grant us success if we exploit them properly, but we must play our cards wisely, unfortunately, that’ll have to wait until we are completely alone.” Confused your arched your eyebrow, until your ears were met with the sound of the wheels of a certain golden cart rapidly approaching.
“Hello again ladies, let me take this off,” Hiro said while he took the almost empty canape plate along the rest of the dishes. “Is there anything else you would like? Would you like another beverage (L/N)-sama?” Hiro said looking at your semi voided glass.
“Y-Yes please”
“Alright!” With the swift and skill of years of experience, Hiro served your plates, removed the shiny silver food covers, refilled both water cups and Kaguya’s wine cup as well in less than a minute. “Please enjoy, if there’s anything else you would like I’ll be happy to assist you! I’ll be back in a minute with your drink miss.”
You spent the next couple of minutes in total silence waiting for your drink in order to continue your conversation privately and interruption-free. Just as said, Hiro returned instants later with the promised drink and finally left you two to converse calmly.
“Well, now that the coast is clear, let me fill you up with what you have to know and do in order to obtain a favorable outcome for both of us.” Kaguya began as she sliced a bite of quail breast.
“So, this is my plan…”
.
.
Now with your dinner night already finished, you were now heading to your house. This ride was as quiet as the one to the restaurant, but without the suffocating weight of uncertainty. Your head was filled now with the echoes of your conversation with Kaguya, debating, analyzing, considering, comprehending every single word of it.
“You seem troubled, you are doubtful, aren’t you?” Said Kaguya interrupting your thoughts.
“I’m more scared than anything if this doesn’t work-”
“It will, you already know what to do, just focus on that. I’ll keep in contact with you anyway, in case of emergencies or any last-minute matter.” She then proceeded to rummage in her purse and took out a brand-new phone, it was one of those not so high-quality flip phones that you can get for a really low price, probably a disposable one.
“I already put my phone number in it, so we can communicate without issue. This phone is a really basic one, so it has no internet access but you have unlimited calls and texts. Just make sure to keep it hidden from your mother or that blabbermouth maid of yours.”
“Yes, I’ll find a place.”
“Perfect, remember, the announce dinner will be this Saturday, surely your mom would tell you, everybody will be there, they must at least.”
Another twenty minutes passed before you were at the main door of your lavish home. Silently, you excited the car after Soichiro opened the door for you and you headed to the front door.
“We’ll keep in contact, until then, (Y/N).” Kaguya said softly, once she finished Soichiro shut the door, bowed his head, and wished you a good evening. He straightened up his posture and proceeded to hop in the car again. Quietly you observed the car get farther and farther until it disappeared. You stayed there in silence, while the nightly wind swayed your hair delicately. The sound of the door opening distracted you, then, you turned around to be met with the gentle smile of Nobu-san.
“Okaerinasai, (Y/N)-sama, how was your dinner with Kaguya-sama?”
“Pretty…unexpected.” You looked everywhere, making sure that nobody else was listening to your conversation. “I’ll fill you out on the details later” You whispered and Nobu-san nodded knowingly. “I see, your bath is ready (Y/N)-sama. Please take your time and relax, it’s been a long night after all,” He got slightly closer to you and cupped his hand around his mouth, and whispered. “I’m pretty sure you’ll make good use of this time to ponder any thought that is troubling your mind.” He distanced from you, crossed his arms behind his back, and gave you a gentle closed-eye smile. “Would you like a cup of tea after your bath?”
You smiled at him fondly.
“(F/T/F), please.”
.
.
You’ve been lying if you said that you could actually sleep the night before. Your head could not stop to reproduce in a loop your conversation with Kaguya the night before, like a broken record you couldn’t escape from. Before you noticed, the outrageous melody of your alarm resounded in the spaciousness of your room. You groaned in protest, unwillingly getting up to start your day.
Dressed and ready, you took your bag and went downstairs to have breakfast. Before you could finish hopping down the stairs you caught a glimpse of your mother sitting at the head chair, like always with your father by her side, she was holding her morning coffee while she read some emails on her laptop.
As always she looked stunning in her soft pink and golden outfit, she crossed her legs, put down her cup and started typing in her laptop.
You straighten your posture the best you could and approached the table with delicate steps. “Good morning mother, good morning dad”
“Good morning dear, how did you sleep?” Said your mother without taking her eyes off the screen in a somewhat flat tone as her fingers tapped nimbly over the keyboard. “Pretty well, and yourself?” You said while you took a seat at the innecesarily expansive dinning table.
“Not so well sadly, there’s been some… issues I had to take care of.” She hissed a bit irritated as she rubbed her temples.
“I-I see, hopefully, you’ll have a better day today, mother.”
“I doubt it, unluckily, but thank you for your words, darling. Now hurry up or you’ll be late.”
“Yes, mother.”
“You should have some fresh fruit honey; the mangos are delicious!” Said the cheerful voice of your father. You smiled fondly at him while he reciprocated with a smile of his own. “I’ll do then, thank you for your suggestion dad.” You answered while one of the maids served you a portion of fresh mixed fruit in a bowl and Nobu-san poured tea in your cup.
“(Y/N)” Spoke your mom.
“Yes, mother?”
“Your grandmother had organized a family dinner this Saturday that we must assist, of course, I expect nothing less of you than be on your best behavior, also is imperative that you choose your outfit today so I can determine if it’s appropriate for the occasion. If you need to go shopping just tell Sasaki, I activated your debit card again just this time.” She said authoritatively.
“Yes mother, I’ll do it today after class.” You said as you topped your fruit with some honey, yougurt and granola.
“Splendid, now if you excuse me, I have to go now, Haru, hurry up or we’ll be late”
“Yes, cara mia” Your father beamed. Your mother then rose from her chair took her handbag and draped her coat over her shoulders. Your father then finished his coffee as soon as he could and went behind her. “Have a good day princess!” Exclaimed you dad. “Thank you, you too!” You answered while you saw them get escorted by an army of bodyguards.
Soon enough the door was closed and you were left alone. “(Y/N)-sama I advise you to hurry as well, school starts in thirty minutes” Said the familiar voice of Nobu-san. “What!? Oh, I’m going to be late! Ok, I got this! I’ll brush my teeth and I’ll be ready-please ask Sasaki-san to start the car! I will be there in a minute!” You stuttered while climbing up stairs.
“Sure thing, Ojou-sama,” He said with an amused smile.
.
.
“Thank you again for joining me for shopping Momo”
“Oh, it’s no trouble at all, I’ll also take the chance to buy some new accessories as well,” Beamed your ravenette friend. It was the end of the school day and you had asked Momo to help you choose new accessories to complement a dress you already had.
“But to be honest I never imagine that your mom would lose her grip on you so soon even if it’s temporary, what surprised me more was what Kaguya-san told you yesterday,” She whispered trying to no let your conversation be known by Sasaki-san although the automated partition window was up as a precautionary measure. “Are you sure you can trust her?” She said concerned.
“I still don’t know, suddenly everything became so complicated, I mean her plan is good and has a high probability to work, and right now I don’t have a better option, I don’t even have any options, to begin with!” You groaned, confused.
“What’s still bugging me is why is she helping you in the first place? I can’t help but find it suspicious no matter how much I think about it. Did you ask her something about it?”
“I did, but she went into this mysterious and enigmatic mode and just said something like ‘You’ll know soon enough’ It would be easier to pinch a glass than get something out of her.” You said with a tone of frustration.
“I guess that the only thing we can do now is to wait and see,” Sighed Momo while she shrugged her shoulders. “By the way, what are we going to do first?” She said more animatedly.
“Let’s start with the shoes and then maybe a new jewelry set, a new clutch as well would be good. What you think?”
“I think is a splendid idea!” Momo exclaimed.
.
.
.
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Holiday Hot Pot
S:Final Fantasy XIV No plot or purpose. Just one man, his friends, family, his overwhelming grief and their very late Starlight. [mentioned non-WoL OCxThancred] 5754 words [ More FFXIV Content ]
“You look like shit.”
Moth’ir was missing his characteristic shades so all four occupants could clearly see the viera’s tactless comment send his eyes rolling. Five if the infant in his arms wasn’t soundly asleep. His comeback was snappy as always. “Thanks, kid. Thought I’d take a page from your book for a change.”
The Burn’s reaction was immediate. His rage coiled in his arms as he quickly changed stance. Ever one to turn to violence before reason. His voice rose as he started “,Why are you always-”
The rest was swallowed by a mitten plopped against his mouth. His smaller─but no less dangerous─companion shot him a long suffering look. Keeping The Burn’s temper under control was like trying to keep a lit match from igniting firedamp in a coal mine. Most folks had no hope but to abandon the mission to begin with. Ibuki was the sole exception. Though she could give him a good and proper dressing-down, it didn’t take much besides a sigh and disappointed look to upend his rampage before it started.
The anger didn’t go away, it just receded, but it allowed the pale and dark scaled auri to turn their attention back to their long missing friend. The three gathered around him with varying levels of interest. Leaving Havhen to flail helplessly as their presence was quickly forgotten in that of Moth’ir’s. Whom was obviously the more respected between the two when it came to their present company.
“You’ve been gone for months without word! We were really worried!” Ibuki stated, nearly whining with the intensity of her sincerity.
“We would have come sooner but there were a lot of things to take care of,” the Xaela man spoke apologetically. “There were so many festivals and trying to keep the bar staffed with so many people wanting days off and of course the Basement-”
Ibuki elbowed her much taller compatriot and cut his further worrying off by enthusing “,but Bukidai has dealt with all of it marvelously well so you don’t need to worry.”
“Oh?” Moth’ir looked at the Xaela with an appraising look. Though, paired with an easy grin, it was unlikely he was being serious. “Food baskets?”
“All delivered as of yesterday,” Bukidai, who was serious, assured him. “Thanks to our volunteers.”
“Volunteers is it? Did Mr. Auberdine show up?” Moth’ir asked and chuckled lightly when he saw Bukidai’s surprise.
“Ah, yes. Though we had to ask him to leave-”
“Because he was trying to convince everyone that volunteers deserved two baskets for their trouble.” Moth’ir interrupted, leaving Bukidai startled once again. “Did that every year. A few others too. Reason why I started delivering them my own damn self if I’m honest.”
“Every year?” Bukidai’s horror was indication enough that Mr. Auberdine had thrown one of his characteristic fits before he allowed himself to be let go.
“Grew up as a wealthy merchant’s son and then his family landed themselves in dire straights with bad investments,” Moth’ir shrugged. He was sympathetic but the sympathy was for Booker, not the man. “He’s remarkably less worse than he was but he’s never quite gotten over the idea he deserves more than everyone else.”
Bukidai sighed and shook his head. “Regardless, I think we can make do with our other volunteers if they want to pitch in again.”
“If you say so,” Moth’ir said dubiously. Bukidai held unto hope for dear life but Moth’ir had been divested of that a long long time ago. “Take care with old U’leh. Greying Miqo’te lady, very unassuming. She likes to troll through some of the donated items in Spring and Autumn for cakes to raffle off at her little charity parties.”
“She raffles off donated cakes?” Bukidai was aghast then pulled himself off the topic for another. “Spring is an awful long time away. Aren’t you coming back?”
“If you need to break out, we’ve got you,” Ibuki rose her sweater’s sleeve so she might flex her otherwise deceptively pudgy arm. Havhen─who had been watching their interaction with keen interest and was not familiar with Ibuki’s playful personality─shot Moth’ir an alarmed look over her shoulder.
“Contrary to whatever belief you might have, I am here of my own free will,” Moth’ir stated firm enough that they knew he meant it. He had certainly come of his own accord anyway. Staying was less than thrilling since he didn’t much care for the sole physician in this strange hospital. Divulging why was far more personal than he was comfortable sharing but he did add a “More or less.”
“More or less?” The Burn attention had been momentarily bought by the possibility of fighting.
Moth’ir gave him a stern look “,I’m staying.”
It was the right thing to do. More than that, it was where Thancred had left him. Left them. The four of them descended into an awkward silence. None of whom seemed particularly thrilled with the prospect.
Ibuki, hopping from one foot to the next, tried her best to break the quiet. “Is the baby yours? Bukidai said you left because you were feeling sick and had suspected but we didn’t know for sure.”
“Ibuki!” Bukidai chastised her.
Moth’ir gave him a solid kick to the shin. Which might have actually hurt had he been wearing anything but his slippers. He gasped and proclaimed with played up scandalization “What a gossip!”
Havhen was likely the only one of them who noticed the slight hissing. Something which indicated an actual irritation from Moth’ir he hid by dramatizing it.
“Is it a boy or girl?” Ibuki asked before throwing her arms up and blithely gesturing “,you know, for now.”
It was a joke that three of them understood better than the other two. Though she wasn’t aware of Havhen’s case. She had quite nearly forgotten they were there at all. Which was more or less in their favor as they were busy taking mental notes. Specifically on Moth’ir’s face after Ibuki asked her question. Moth’ir had settled into fatherhood like a round peg in a square hole. He’d fallen in but the corners weren’t right. Fairly typical of new parents but he’d taken his ineptitude as immediate failure and the guilt had landed him here in Havhen’s care. He’d only just been able to acknowledge his daughter directly at all.
Moth’ir visibly braced himself before muttering “,it’s uh... she.”
“She’s so cute! Can I hold her?” Ibuki thrust her arms out exuberantly. Either not noticing the stumble or too polite to point it out. Moth’ir handed her over mayhaps a bit too eagerly but the fact he’d been carrying her without needing to was progress. Havhen made a note of it.
Holding a baby was something Ibuki had enough experience in that she hadn’t needed coaching. Utterly doting, she looked fairly natural cooing down at the fussy bundle who had begun to stir due to the commotion and movement. Moth’ir struggled not to look miserable watching the pair, ears flattened against his head. Grief that went unnoticed now that all attention was on the baby.
“What’s her name?” Bukidai asked pleasantly.
“Doesn’t have one.” Moth’ir said flatly. Bukidai looked to him with confusion but Moth’ir waved him off and continued. “Her dad thought I should name her but I’ve been preoccupied and just... haven’t.”
Havhen distinctly remembered the white haired hyur had mentioned he’d wanted Moth’ir to name her because it might help them bond. And something about having already named two girls but that hadn’t been meant for Havhen’s ears. The concern of Moth’ir’s friends weren’t at all alleviated by the explanation but Bukidai had enough sense to recognize Moth’ir’s agitation. He simply nodded and smiled, if a bit awkwardly. “I’m sure it will come to you soon.”
Moth’ir brushed him off, glanced over at the window and the dwindling light outside. Whatever he’d wanted to see there caused him to sigh. He postulated “,You three didn’t really have a plan once you got here, did you?”
Said three exchanged glances that said they hadn’t and then all four heads turned to Havhen. The physician shook their head and crossed their arms in front of them. “Absolutely, not! This is a mental care facility! Not an inn!”
“It’s not like you’ve got any other patients and there’s not exactly a line waiting,” Moth’ir stated sternly.
“Nevertheless there are professional standards I have to adhere to,” Haven pushed back with just as much authority.
“It’s a madhouse,” Moth’ir exclaimed incredulously “,You’re already a joke and a half!”
“Not a madhouse!” Haven corrected him with a great deal of passion. “Those facilities garner their reputation by focusing on containment and are as like to cause as much─if not more─damage to their patients had they just left them alone. This facility is for study and treatment with the intent of rehabilitation.”
Havhen was a generally genial person but this was a subject they were particularly staunch on. Moth’ir, on the other hand, was just normally stubborn and exceedingly opinionated. Where the standoff would go was any one’s guess but it wasn’t likely to be clean. With that in mind, Ibuki interjected “,that’s actually quite fascinating! I’d love to get an interview with you on the subject for an article. Mor Dhona isn’t that far from Ul’dah, I’m sure some of my readers would love to know more.”
“You’re a reporter?” Havhen asked, scrutinizing the pastel garbed auri woman closer. “Publicity would be nice but your ilk are so fond of twisting things on their head for greater attention.”
“Well, you’re in luck because miss Bunji is far more partial toward fluff pieces,” Bukidai noted with a fair bit of amusement.
“Oh! I’m so tired of writing hard hitting news! Everyone is so wary of talking to me now but I don’t mean to find bad things! I’m just very good at tripping into them,” her sudden outburst sounded surprisingly sincere considering it’s absurdity. It had also upset the baby who she quickly went about soothing. “Oh! I’m so sorry, dear thing. It’s okay! Nothing’s wrong! You’re not running a money laundering business out of here are you?”
The last question was aimed at Havhen who simply held their hands up defensively. “If I was I wouldn’t be struggling to make rent.”
“You’d be surprised,” Ibuki sighed as she gently rocked the baby back to complacency.
Havhen considered the three newcomers and nodded approvingly. “Alright. You can stay for a short while.”
There was a short lived celebratory movement before Havhen added: “Under the condition you do chores around the building and submit yourselves for an interview of my own.”
Moth’ir balked. “Nevermind, everyone can go sleep outside.”
Havhen crossed his arms and said firmly “,if she’s going to write about my organization she might as well get the best understanding of what I’m trying to do.”
“I think we can handle some housework and questions,” Bukidai offered, trying to hearten Moth’ir whose grimace only deepened in return.
Moth’ir threw his hands up and shook his head but went to his next order of business “,Regardless, your kitchen stock is atrocious. Scribbles, go out and see what food stuffs you can pick up for tonight. It’s Starlight and almost sundown so don’t expect a lot.”
“You can count on me!” Ibuki chirped despite his sentiment and snapped off a salute unfamiliar to Havhen.
“You,” he pointed at The Burn “,there’s some weird creatures out of town. Ask around the adventurers, see what all is edible and how, kill it and bring the proper bits back.”
The Burn grinned and smacked his fists together. “I can do that.”
“As long as you can ask politely and don’t pick a fight,” Ibuki said to him as more of a warning than anything else.
“You’re with me in the kitchen,” Moth’ir nodded toward Bukidai “,let’s prep and you can see if you have any more ideas about what we have on hand than I.”
“And me?” Havhen pointed at themself.
“You’re on baby duty.” Moth’ir gestured dramatically toward his daughter, still in Ibuki’s arms who passed her off to them.
“Alright kids, we have a short amount of time and very little to work with. Let’s move,” Moth’ir gestured and his people went to do as they were asked.
Havhen and the child watched them all scatter. Before today Moth’ir had been antagonistic and withdrawn around them. This commanding man and the willingness of his peers to follow his direction was bemusing. Both attitudes were entirely alien from the way he had been with his beau. At least when he didn’t think Havhen was looking. Assuming different personae to suit different groups was normal enough but, when all was said and done, some of Moth’ir’s faces would likely have to die to save the host.
“It should be an interesting night for us, I think.” They cooed gently to the nameless girl.
--------------------------------------------------------
Havhen had hoped they might be able to observe something that would give them clarity on Moth’ir in the process of the night. What they happened to see was utter chaos. Babies need care and Moth’ir’s child was particularly fussy without any seeming need to be. A fact even her wet nurse had noted. Then there was the utter mess that Moth’ir and Bukidai were making in their kitchen. Which was adequate enough by Havhen’s standards but not theirs.
The Burn returned first. A bit bloodied for his trouble. He’d gotten a handful of strange looking material he all swore was good for eating in a variety of ways. Havhen had some doubts but Moth’ir took him at his word.
“Who did you piss off?” Moth’ir asked passively after getting a proper look at the viera’s nose.
“Some weird frogs, some newts, wriggly things, you know,” The Burn gestured toward his assorted meats as if the question in itself was inane.
“I said: who,” Moth’ir reiterated, pointedly.
The Burn crossed his arms and stood defiantly. Which unraveled under Moth’ir’s steely gaze and he finally yelled “,it was some roegadyn, okay? Didn’t like the way I asked and wouldn’t listen so he started punching. He was asking for it.”
Moth’ir shrugged and shook his head. He wasn’t exactly pleased but the disappointment didn’t stick. He said to The Burn “,Thanks for the bits, kid. Since you’re here, try and keep that one out of our hair.”
Moth’ir gestured toward Havhen, saying to them: “And you? Good luck.”
It was a particularly perplexing series of statements that cleared itself up over the course of a brief conversation. Havhen came to the conclusion that The Burn would make a good case study if he’d allow it. Alas, it was unlikely that The Burn would avail himself to their care so Havhen was forced to deal with him on a social level. Which was an exceedingly unpleasant task. He was combative, sullen, and downright rude without any self awareness. A hungry malboro would have made better company.
Luckily, Ibuki returned not too long after. If her strength had been in question, it was not now as she managed to juggle a notable number of boxes. Of which she was more hampered by the awkwardice of their distribution than their weight.
“What did you do? Buy the whole market?” Bukidai exclaimed as he started offloading her parcels.
“There’s a lot more in the market than food, you know,” Ibuki retorted. “I just got things that they said were edible and looked good.”
“Is that a whole dodo?” Moth’ir asked as he eyeballed what she’d brought in.
“Yup! The man said I could have it cheap because it’s Starlight,” she said as she divested herself of her last package. Arms free, Ibuki turned to Havhen and stretched them out to them “,let me see the baby!”
They could hardly deny her after she asked so passionately.
“More likely that the seller misjudged his buyer’s needs and wanted to offload it quickly,” Moth’ir commented looking the bird over. He’d found little wrong with it all the same.
“Oh! Oh!” She hopped back around to face him after having secured the baby in her arms “,I was thinking maybe a hot pot would be good?” Ibuki’s suggestion sounded more like the favorite child pleading a favor of an otherwise stern parent.
“I think I saw a burner for one,” Bukidai added with a questioning note. Indirectly asking why Havhen would have one to begin with.
“I’m quite particular towards hot pot dishes, myself,” Havhen explained “,I should have noodles too.”
Ibuki looked enthused for all of a second before she schooled herself back and asked “,like, spaghetti?”
Havhen gave her a sympathetic look and patted her and the shoulder “,I’m not sure I’ve had pasta in a hot pot. Personally, I’m preferential toward glass noodles but I have udon too.”
This suitably reignited Ibuki’s excitement. She nearly launched herself at Havhen, might have had it not been for the babe, asking “,you have a lot of stuff from Othard here, actually. Have you gone to Kugane?”
Havhen suspected the woman might be a tad homesick but unfortunately had to shake their head. “Not myself. The matrons of my clan told me stories of Yanxia from when we’d travel before the Garlean occupation. I believe it’s a short boat ride between?”
Moth’ir audibly hissed. A thing so uncharacteristic that it completely silenced the room a second and then was immediately moved on from. Moth’ir’s friends assuming it had been unintentional; like a sneeze. They hadn’t been told that Havhen had just happened to be Moth’ir’s long lost sibling. That their clan had once been his. At least, before they’d left him to die as a small child. But Havhen did.
They gave him an apologetic look. Divulging details about their clan hadn’t been their intent. It was an act which Moth’ir had very clearly expressed wanting nothing to do with. Their conciliation did little to quell the absolute rage that Moth’ir was having trouble keeping from his face. Cooking did though.
Havhen and Ibuki settled into chatting idly about Othard while the babe slept in her arms. The Burn─whose chaotic nature had been hard contained just moments before─sat calmly watching Ibuki. A man who was seeing his girlfriend in a domestic light for the first time and wasn’t sure what to think. Havhen rather thought he looked awed. The dining table they sat at and the kitchen were hardly separated. Only a partition that covered perhaps half the room from view. With The Burn preoccupied, he could hardly stop Havhen from observing Moth’ir.
Havhen had thought Bukidai might be in charge of the hot pot, seeing a Xaela would surely know more of the concept than a Eorzean born miqo’te. He was no doubt talented but it was to Moth’ir’s beck and call that he scurried. Ibuki mentioned to them that the pair had come to Kugane some time ago and that’s when Moth’ir had picked up some new techniques. Havhen was fairly impressed that anyone could simply “pick up” traditional methods from one trip but there was a great deal they did not know about Moth’ir.
Ibuki and his hyur “friend” had both spoken about Moth’ir’s prowess as a craftsman. The man had asked him to make a dress for their child and what he produced was of a higher quality than Havhen had expected. The act of putting the dress on the baby had helped Moth’ir acknowledge her and he’d since made several articles of it’s ilk. They had encouraged it because it seemed to be a source of catharsis for him. In the kitchen, Moth’ir seemed just as at home as he did with a sewing needle. Though these two fields were not the limits of his capabilities, Ibuki confirmed they were two specialties of his many interests.
He also seemed to be cooking more or less as a stress relief at the moment. As evidenced by the increasing number of plates Bukidai was producing.
“This is actually pretty early for us.”
It was a lovely little spread. Maybe more geared toward ten people than five. Ibuki had gotten her hot pot. Her eyes glittered despite the fact some of the ingredients used were… questionable in texture. It did look appetizing despite knowing where some of it had come from.
“Do you usually make so much food too?” Havhen eyed the spread and glanced to Bukidai.
“Uh…” Bukidai sheepishly responded, rubbing the back of his neck and then taking a moment to remove his neck tie as he’d suddenly become cognizant of it. “Yes and no? Traditionally, we cook a lot more but we also share with the neighborhood.”
“They do that at the end of every moon but Starlight is supposed to be special,” The Burn noted dully.
“Must be profitable in Ul’dah,” Havhen suggested without having any real clue.
“Oh, it’s all free though.” Ibuki commented cheerily.
“Who knew you were such a philanthropist?” Havhen remarked, turning around only to find Moth’ir missing. They stepped into the kitchen and found him sitting behind the partition. His head between his knees and both hands resting on the back of his neck.
“Gimme a moment.” He’d murmured, completely devoid of any venom he’d usually summon. He could only turn with a facsimile of it when Havhen sat beside him but the comment he’d expected to have to beat off never came. They simply sat there quietly.
Bukidai pretended to busy himself with the spread once again. Shooing Moth’ir’s clockwork toy off the table. He remarked “,that thing has a mind of it’s own.” A statement that started Ibuki and The Burn on a discussion on whether it had been set to follow the babe─since it was never far away from her─or if it was actually possessed. For that matter, where was the other one? None of the three had seen that one in a while. They only made indirect mentions of the man whose countenance both automatons shared. Neither Ibuki or The Burn knew what his relation was to Moth’ir though they’d seen him from time to time. Only Bukidai had any clue.
Bukidai who much preferred this to impeding on Moth’ir’s privacy any more than he already had.
They sat like that for a long time. The three younger ones chatting amicably amongst themselves while the miqo’te siblings sat out of view. After a bit, Moth’ir had gathered himself enough to pull himself to a more relaxed position. Havhen gave him a moment before risking a quiet remark “,they sound like family.”
Moth’ir only hmm’d at first. When he managed to speak, his voice was quiet too but the lack of force was from the palpable exhaustion that colored the tone. The kind of exhaustion unrelated to sleep. He replied “,Maybe they are. Ul’dah is a long way from the Steppes, Hingashi and wherever the hell The Burn fell out of.”
“Ul’dah is a long way from the Twelveswood too,” Havhen said gently as they could “,but you seem keener to keep your distance.”
“So many questions,” Moth’ir spat but even this indignation lacked fire.
“When one cannot find answers they are often left with nothing but questions,” Havhen replied pleasantly enough. It still pissed Moth’ir off.
The Burn was yelling about something but Ibuki and Bukidai were laughing. At his worst there was a request he calm down because he was disturbing the baby. Words which were also choked with laughter.
Moth’ir let them hang there. Content to sit and listen and not at all up to acknowledging what was a valid statement. He was supposed to be getting better after all but sometimes Havhen and their questions made him want to disappear into the swamp.
“If you don’t celebrate on Starlight, what do you do?” Havhen asked him, trying another angle.
Moth’ir sighed with his whole body. He tried to say “stuff” but all he managed was a weak roll of his wrist.
“You and your man must have some traditions?” Havhen offered.
Moth’ir snorted. The idea of Thancred being any one person’s was cute to him. Even after the hyur had confessed all those things to him before he’d left. Before Moth’ir had had the ability to say it back. Words that he so desperately wanted to say back. They pooled in the back of his throat and begged to be released so Moth’ir did something uncharacteristic of him and spoke about him. If just to speak of him at all. “Thancred’s not usually home when the holidays come around. ‘Specially not these last couple years but when he is it’s just a drink and then sleeping in.”
“Festive,” Havhen said with a chuckle.
Admittedly it didn’t sound like much but it had meaning for him. Maybe Thancred too. A tradition started nearly a decade ago. A rare occasion when Thancred hadn’t had any luck with any fair maiden despite his “silver tongue.” Too inebriated to make it to his lodgings but just sober enough to crash against the backdoor of Moth’ir’s home and workplace. Thancred almost looked dignified sitting there, looking like a misplaced gift from Nymeia’s Saint after Moth’ir’s very long and miserable day.
Thancred somehow talked him into one single drink for the occasion despite Moth’ir’s distaste for alcohol. So they might be on equal footing or some line of the sort. Though Moth’ir wasn’t anywhere near as intoxicated by the time he’d managed to dump Thancred in his bed. Then they’d passed out in a sleep near as deep as death itself. An act remarkable for the both of them.
All their important moments seemed to be in that bed. Very few─if any─had a thing to do with Thancred’s typical salacious activities. It was another sort of intimacy only available to them in the privacy and relative safety of Moth’ir’s room. Honestly and vulnerability that they’d not allowed themselves anywhere else. And yet...
“I didn’t realize you lived together.”
Moth’ir rolled a hand dismissively again. “Some of his stuff is at my place but I don’t think he lives anywhere anymore.”
“Too busy doing what he does.” Havhen said with some meaning. Near everyone who paid attention to the daily happenings around them had some conception of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn even if they didn’t know each member. Savior’s of the realm and at their center the indomitable Warriors of Light.
But Thancred was quite faliable. It was one of his charms.
“I don’t want to go back.” Moth’ir said so quietly Havhen almost didn’t hear him.
Havhen lightly bumped his shoulder against Moth’ir’s. “His life is largely here in Mor Dhona now, isn’t it?”
Moth’ir crossed his arms over his knees and pressed his eyes there to shut out the pressure from behind his eyes. He’d had some conception of Thancred’s work but it was something alien and distant. He imagined it was much the same for Thancred and Moth’ir’s work outside the Tavern. They’d known each other in a way that no one else did─that no one was supposed to─but they’d lived separate lives save where they let it intertwine. A special and private part of themselves tailor made for each other. It had worked. Might have continued to work but then Thancred had taken him from this hospital to the Rising Stones.
He’d met the women who’d given Thancred a shave and a haircut and found he’d liked them both despite that. Hadn’t recognized the man with the sun and stars before he spoke because he’d been missing the goggles and shroud he’d seen him in before. Lightly roasted Thancred with a Seeker woman with whom he shared new material to his friend’s chagrin. One of them would tell him if anything happened to Thancred while he was on the field. Thancred had assured him of such before he’d left.
And he’d liked that. He liked the idea that he’d be one of the first to know. He liked that Thancred had shown him context to the part of his life that had been a thin outline. But Moth’ir could never go back to waiting and wondering and subtext and half told stories they were too tired to finish telling because living it had been too much. He liked knowing and he liked being here and he knew he could never ever go back to that room. It’s privacy and false safety be damned.
He’d fooled himself into thinking he’d feel differently once he returned and started to go around the usual rounds but here he was. The same comedy routine fit like a glove but it was a glove that weighed as much as a buffalo and he was so tired. More than that: “They don’t need me,” Moth’ir said, choking back something that might have been a sob. Though he didn’t know why or what he was feeling exactly.
“It’s gonna get co~ld,” Ibuki’s voice came from beyond the partition.
Bukidai’s voice came after, raised suspiciously “,alright! alright! But make sure you don’t eat everything!” His added emphasis that the couple had had a habit of scarfing down an absurd amount of food returned to a normal pitch but the reaction to it was no less raucous.
Havhen shook their head in agreement and said “,Maybe once, but they do seem to have themselves covered now.”
“Wish I did,” Moth’ir breathed. Drawing himself up and closing his eyes, trying to center himself once more.
It was quiet between them again. The only sound coming from Ibuki singing over what was assumedly a well done meal. But Moth’ir broke the silence by turning to them and stating “,I never wanted children.”
Havhen cocked an eyebrow at him but let him continue on his own without prompting. So Moth’ir continued. “I did when I decided to keep her but I never wanted children. I don’t know how to do this and I don’t… how do we do this? I don’t know how to name kids.”
Havhen considered the distance Moth’ir had kept himself from his family and friends. They considered that he carried internalized feelings of guilt as if his abandonment was due to his own fault. The way he shied away from his daughter and the way he tormented himself for having done so. They wondered if “I never wanted” simply meant he hadn’t thought he should as if he was not worthy.
Moth’ir could simply have been asking for their opinion but the emphasis on “we” seemed like more. They did not know if he meant as keepers or as a clan. They weren’t sure if offering their typical naming conventions would be much use to him. Havhen offered a smile and said “,Oh, I’m not sure it’s all very complicated. You just pick something you think sounds nice or has meaning to you.”
Moth’ir sighed, clearly unsatisfied by that answer. Answers to a question that wasn’t the one he wanted to ask would never be sufficient.
“I think picking a name of someone important to you is suitable as well. As a tribute of sorts,” Havhen tried again despite the futility.
Moth’ir’s eyes stared upward as he considered various people whom he’d had some attachment to. It was an ordeal when one specifically kept people at arms length with few exceptions. “Can’t just name her Menphina, can I?”
“I mean,” Havhen shrugged and said flippantly “,your fellow Eorzeans might find that blasphemous but it’s your daughter.” They received a gentle elbow to the ribs for their trouble.
“Moth.”
“After your mother?” Havhen asked.
Moth’ir eyed him warily. Karga clan was very distinctly something that was his and his alone. It was never far from his mind that Havhen had only ever had their gods forsaken clan. He did not know what they saw when they thought of him and his siblings and his mother together. They all had meant the world and more to him and he misliked the idea of someone belittling that.
Havhen continued to smile at him warmly as he tried to assure him “,I think it’s a lovely name. And, from what your brother has told me, a woman deserving of such dedication.”
Moth’ir only knew that Moth’wo had trusted Havhen with the health of his brother. He’d not had a clue said brother and they were related by blood. How close the two actually were was a mystery to him. He hadn’t even ventured to ask so he had no choice but to accept the comment at face value. Or at least he had no energy to grill them about it.
Eased somewhat he turned his attention inward. He reiterated the name Moth in a whisper. More for himself than Havhen’s benefit. Making it real. Making her real. He closed his eyes and used it as a point to center himself.
Havhen ventured to tap his shoulder to grab his attention before holding their arm out, hopefully offering a hug. Moth’ir regarded them irritably but leaned his shoulder against theirs and allowed himself to be pulled closer. Havhen lightly pressed his head against Moth’ir’s and so they sat. Silent while idly listening to the other three while their minds were elsewhere. For their part, Havhen was busy committing the moment to memory. A small victory for them that may mean nothing but a memento of their brother when he left them for good but that in itself would be enough.
“Hey, you think she can eat some of this meat?” The Burn’s voice asked from beyond the partition.
Moth’ir snapped to, breaking Havhen’s precious moment. On his feet and away in a second. “You feed that baby anything and I swear I’ll kill you with my bare hands.”
Havhen let themself linger for a moment. Wrapped their arms around their knees and listening to the new argument. Havhen had been walking with Moth’ir’s ghost for over a decade. They’d been convinced of his death by their mother and it haunted them. But then he’d returned alive; so very much alive. That life had been a messy and painful one. Whether he cared to know or not, Havhen’s had been much the same. The mystery of what laid before them could very much be more of the same but that wasn’t the important part. That they were alive is what gave those lives meaning. Nothing more, nothing less. Which is why they allowed themselves a moment to linger and not a moment more.
A life must be lived.
And there was a hot pot they needed to get to before it was gone.
#My Writing#heirsofdiscord#Final Fantasy XIV#Moth'ir Karga (FF)#Thancred is technically here but also is he?
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anyways @ THE ANON THAT ASKED ABOUT THE GREG RUCKA PODCAST TRANSCRIPT: i did it
Long Ass Post under cut
(literally not kidding there’s an hour long podcast worth of transcript under this cut)
Mimi: Hi I'm Mimi Chan, welcome to culture chat, thanks for joining the conversation. Hi everyone, happy Friday. You might want to watch The Old Guard movie on Netflix before listening today. You can also read my film review to get hyped up for viewing – which is linked here.
Greg Rucka and Leandro Fernández‘s The Old Guard comic has been adapted to film that is available for viewing on Netflix. As the writer of both the comic and screenplay, Greg brings insights on the movie and the decisions behind some of the deviations from the comic.
For fans of the comic, have no fear, the characters and story follow pretty closely to the original. I am fortunate that I developed a friendship with Greg during our weekly conversations and felt comfortable asking candid questions about the adaptation.
Greg shares insights about the film that prompts a discussion on how the film speaks to the crisis our country is currently in amidst the covid19 pandemic and the lack of accountability from our government.
The Old Guard, directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, is available on Netflix now starring an amazing cast including: Charlize Theron and Chiwetel Ejiofor.
For those that don’t already know: Greg Rucka is a New York Times bestselling author of hundreds of comics and nearly two dozen novels. He has written for film, television, and video games. His career has included critically acclaimed and Eisner-winning work in both the creator-owned and work-for-hire arenas.
I’m loving these conversations and hope you are too. If you are, please rate my podcast on your platform of choice.
Finally, if you would like to support with a donation, you can become a patron of the show by visiting my website or Patreon.com. For comments or suggestions, please email me at [email protected] or reach out on social media @sifumimichan. Now on with the show!
[the phonecall starts]
Mimi: Hello, hello, Greg Rucka!
Greg: How you doing, Mimi?
Mimi: Great since last week, um, I'm great also because I got to watch The Old Guard!
Greg: [BIG GASP] You did?
Mimi: I did, I did! Apparently I qualify as a real journalist to Netflix. [laughs]
Greg: [also laughs] Right, you sent the media inquiry and they said ‘sure’!
Mimi: I said, ‘you know, what? It would be great if I actually saw this before talking to Greg, and then I could really have a conversation.’ And I was like, ‘wait, why don't I just check if I can?’ And then naturally--
Greg: Lo and behold!
Mimi: Yeah, if you ask, uh, you know,? That’s when things get done.
Greg: [finishing her 'if you ask' thought] --you shall receive, yeah.
Mimi: That's right, that's right.
Greg: It's interesting to me because I know that for some people... you know, they had no problem getting access...
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: And then, you know, the friends and family screenings were a freaking nightmare to arrange.
Mimi: Oh really?
Greg: And they were like 'oh no you can only give it to only like seven people'
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: And it's like 'oh hey dudes calm down' but, you know, uh, it won't matter come midnight tonight--
Mimi: That's right!
Greg: --Everyone's gonna have access!
Mimi: That's right. so I was so excited to be able to watch it and, um, man-- I almost feel bad talking to you right now because I feel like you must be really kind of exhausted from talking about the film --as much as you love it! I just I can only imagine that it's been hour after hour after hour of inquiry, so I feel a little guilty.
Greg: There has been a lot of talking about the movie, yes. There has not been a lot of talking about the movie with you, however, so that that does distinguish it.
Mimi: Ah, you are too kind to me, too kind to me. So, first of all-- and you're gonna have to sit here and just take it -- I'm just so unbelievably excited for you and a huge congratulations-- I mean-- I already knew from the trailer, that it was going to be a quality and just an intense and well-written film, because you wrote it. But, upon watching it --you know, of course, you know, Oscar [her bf or husband maybe?] got to jump into my media pass. He was privy!
Greg: I was gonna say, did you say 'you can't come in here while I watch it', you know?
Mimi: I mean, you know-- he's not gonna tell anyone. But we were, we were completely enamored. We were super super excited, and it wasn't just an action film, you know. I think beyond that, what you and Gina brought to it was just-- the strength of the characters, which is something you and I have discussed so much, and how that is what drives a story, and so beyond it being a good movie I just really feel like you were able to tell the story that you conveyed-- not only in the comic, but, you know, come to life. And so I'm, I was, I'm just so excited for you.
Greg: And I'm delighted to hear it
Mimi: I have been reading reviews-- I wrote my own little review-- you know, since I got the access and all, I felt like obligated but, um, obviously, I'm not the only one with this opinion. You must feel-- I guess validated is the wrong word, because I think, you know where you stand with your work, but it must feel really good being your first screenplay.
Greg: I-- wow. um. Hm. I -- so Netflix sends, um, an email like on average once a day, sometimes it's been twice a day, with sort of like 'here's the press round up'!
Mimi: Yeah
Greg: And so I’ve woken up the last couple days to 'here are the reviews!' and I immediately delete. Right? Because I don't want to see them, um... and that's just me, right. That’s just me trying to negotiate how I feel about... reviews and my relationship with them. And, it isn't the most mature way to deal with them, I am the first to admit, um, but I-- for better or worse, I'm in a place where I feel like, well if I invest in a review --that is a positive review-- the amount of work... um... the amount of work required to do the due diligence on the reviewer and also on then, say, negative reviews is such that I just-- I'm not going-- I can't devote it.
Mimi: Right, mm-hm, yeah, it's a rabbit hole.
Greg: So some of the reviews-- and all that said, some of this stuff is getting to me anyway, right, I mean, I got-- you know people text me and 'oh look here's a review' and it is gratifying as hell. Uh... at the end of the day --and I learned this with my novels pretty early on, is that at the end of the day, you know, a great review is wonderful, and it'll make you feel good about yourself, and maybe it'll sell more books... but at a certain point in -- and you know this-- you've experienced this... as you make the thing, and then at a certain point it goes into the world and all you can do is be like... you know, ‘are you wearing clean underwear and hopefully you'll find a safe home’ [<-- he’s talking like he's the story's mother with that statement]. You know, hopefully-- hopefully there will-- there are people out there that will embrace. So the extension of that is that... Netflix reaches something like 130 million plus households around the world. alright, Um, I'm pretty sure out of a theoretical 130 million people who might see the movie, uh, you know -- I would be surprised if, you know, 30 percent of them didn't-- you know-- couldn't stand it. I wouldn't-- I wouldn't be surprised. Right? There are going to be people who are going to see it and it's not going to be their thing.
Mimi: Yeah
Greg: they're not-- it's not going to speak to them-- they're not going to like the choices that we made-- that they're going to be offended, or just bored or whatever. And... Can’t do anything about it!
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: All I can do is stand beside the work that we've created and say I am proud of what we did here, and I feel that we, um, we honored the source material, and --I believe -- in many ways improved on it.
Mimi: Yeah and that's something I definitely want to get into. I mean my take was obviously-- I'm a fan of your comics, so I know the comic, I know the story, and the immediate thing as a comic book quote unquote fan is like: you're comparing, right, you're comparing the story, you're comparing the characters-- and, you know, when I wrote my little review I thought about what I could say, you know, I could I could criticize action, I could talk about this... but I really feel -- and this maybe, it's because you and I have been talking for like 11 or 12 weeks straight now, it's literally like... the perfect story at a time when we need it most. I think there's strong women, there's a diverse cast, and ass kicking to greedy individuals of the world is exactly what we need right now!
Greg: Like oh yeah, there's some lovely wish fulfillment. Yes, you know, it's like 'oh, you know, rich selfish pharma asshole? Yeah oh no you got an axe in your head! Too bad!'
Mimi: I know! I was like, ‘so Greg, so Greg!’ and-- you know, we've talked about this before like now that I'm reading your novels and your prose, it's, it's I hear you speaking to me in my head even though usually it's an audio book-- and so even watching the film Oscar and I immediately were like 'I wonder what pharma did to piss him off recently' and, you know, so it's just it's so great--
Greg: Exist!
Mimi: -- to be able to kind of watch it-- [laughing] Exist, right right. So, um, so let's talk about--
Greg [gearing himself up]: Let's talk about insulin prices maybe, uh, you know, I mean. Doesn’t take much--
Mimi: Yeah and you and I discussed this, uh, previously as well that you do feel that at the end of the day you wrote a better story, and I already put a disclaimer at the top of this podcast that yeah--
[Both at once] total spoiler alerts big spoiler alerts!
Mimi: --but there's no way I'm not going to talk to you about it! Which is, um, you know, the ending obviously is so, uh, different than what was laid out in the comic. One is, uh, Andy is still bleeding! What the hell! [laughs] so that's the first thing. But my big takeaway and the thing I loved, and I think that was probably a decision by both you and Gina, um, was Nile really becoming kind of the heroine and finding herself in her own, but also really the one to bring everyone back to what was purposeful and what was meaningful-- finding that why, you know, and I think that was a really really powerful choice and I actually really enjoyed that choice. So I was wondering, um, you know, for you of course knowing the story already, and then going 'okay here I am going to adapt' it like at what point did you realize like-- that was something that needed to change?
Greg: Well, um, I mean if people have been listening to interviews some of this is going to sound a little repetitious. I will say that, you know, the first draft of the screenplay I did with, uh, Matt Grimm(?) as sort of my producer in quotes, at Skydance and when we finished it-- or when I finished it-- and he had given me all the notes and I’d done revisions, and we put it in front of Don Granger(?) at Skydance-- and Granger came back with three notes. And I have dealt with a lot of Hollywood types and in the main-- most of their notes are crap. And Granger has yet to give me a note that wasn't spot dead on. And the biggest of the three was, um, you know, he said-- I really like-- it's really good-- he says ‘Nile has no impact whatsoever on this plot. Um, if you remove her the story changes, but the plot doesn't’. And I sat there and I went-- you know, bewildered -- and I sort of looked at the source material and I was like 'you are absolutely correct. You are absolutely 100% correct'. So the big thing that happened between the first draft and the second draft was that I thought of the second draft as-- this is the Nile draft-- like the first draft had been the Andy story. And then the second draft was me going, ‘okay you have the Andy story, now what is the Nile story? Really really take a look at that and figure out how to bone it up’. So and I honestly think that in large part it was the execution of that, uh, was one of the things that Gina responded to so strongly when she was given the screenplay. And then when Gina came aboard, there was just consistent work in fine-tuning not just Andy and Nile but everybody else's stories throughout the work. But it was, um, it was absolutely, you know, I mean-- it was-- it was-- it was malice of forethought. It was-- it was 'Nile has to be able to shoulder this and we need to serve her well'
Mimi: Yeah and--
Greg: Andy was never the question, it really was: can we do right for Nile?
Mimi: Yeah no and that really definitely shines through. And I think there's that says so much about you as a writer, as a screenwriter, as a storyteller, because there are a lot of people, um, that would not be able to have that humility in writing and maybe take that feedback and criticism. because, you know, this was not like you adapted someone else's comic, like this was already your comic, you know, so they're basically giving you notes on what's already your story-- and did you find that aspect of it, uh, challenging or was it just kind of second nature-- because I know you as a person, so I know that you would take criticism well, if it is well meant and if it was constructive. but at the same time when you're in it though, and you've put so much work into those drafts-- it's not like 'oh let me just write this' and it takes five minutes, you know? You put so much into it. So how's that process for you?
Greg: You know, it was not-- it wasn't as difficult as some people seem to think it might have been. And maybe it's simply that I'm at an age where I'm able to look at my work with some degree of objectivity and I, long ago, past the point of believing that, uh... that that the work can't be improved. and I went into the process eyes very wide open, you know, I think one of the reasons Skydance was willing to let me write the drafts was because I made it clear up front that I understood... The movie was not the comic. It needed to be a different thing, and one of the things that they were adamant about were the things that I kept. Now, I had a conversation with Granger once where I said 'I'm kind of surprised nobody ever came to me and said ‘you got to get rid of that armored car sequence' and he looked at me and he said 'if that hadn't been in there I would have wanted to know why, and I would have made you put it back. That’s one of the things that we bought' for instance. So I think, you know, if there was anything to recommend me, it was that I entered the process... fully aware that this had to be a different animal.
Mimi: Yeah, yeah.
Greg: And that was liberating. And there are certain things-- for instance, you know, um, in the comic book there's the sequence in the Paris safe house on the stairs in the apartment. And when Charlize came on one of the first notes was 'we're gonna have to change that sequence'. Because in recent memory Charlize Theron has done a pretty intense action sequence--
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: --coming down the stairs in an apartment.
Mimi: Atomic Blonde, yeah
Greg: You got it! And it was like oh that-- that's a gimme. And the result of that was the discovery of Goussainville right, which is this real town 30 minutes outside of Paris that is a ghost town; it's been a ghost town since the early 1970s.
Mimi: Wow, yeah it was a beautiful location
Greg: Yeah and-- and the place is real, and they didn't shoot in Goussainville. They shot-- they shot that at the same place where they shot the medieval castle flashbacks.
Mimi: Okay.
Greg: That's all the same estate.
Mimi: Nice, nice.
Greg: It's about an hour outside of London. Which gives you an idea of the magic--
Mimi: Of the magic of movies yeah! And do you feel like maybe because your experience as a comic book collaborator... like you have to collaborate. I’ve learned about this a lot more as I’ve spoken to so many creators -- like you and Michael for instance-- on Lazarus, like the way you collaborate, it's not 'I write you draw, period' like-- you-- there's a lot of back and forth, a lot of questioning of your decisions and-- ‘arguing’ may be the wrong term, but, you know, there is a lot of, uh, collaboration in terms of Michael giving you feedback and vice versa, and not feeling like 'oh you're stepping in my territory'. Do you feel like that is probably something that maybe even conditioned you for the screenwriting process?
Greg: I think so. If -- I mean-- I don't wanna-- I don't wanna pat myself on the back over much. But I do think that I am, um, I think I'm certainly a willing collaborator if not always a good collaborator on projects. Um, that if the people I am working with... want to engage that collaboration, I tend to respond to it very well. Um, and I think that's something that absolutely was learned through comics. And I can think, you know, immediately of Gotham Central which doesn't exist if Ed Brubaker(?) and I don't learn how to work together with Michael Lark(?) very quickly and very adeptly--which to this day, is one of my favorite collaborations in comics ever. I don't think you get to work, like, 52 for DC, um, if you don't learn how to collaborate, and to collaborate well.
Mimi: Exactly.
Greg: Which isn't always which isn't always saying 'yes and' sometimes you have to put your foot down and say 'no but'
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: Um, and there were plenty of arguments to be had, you know, in the process of this. Um, but most of those arguments frankly didn't occur until really late in the stage, and they were always focused to the same end. It was never-- that-- there was never an argument about, um-- there was never an argument about intent. there was always an argument about 'what's the best way to do it' right, 'what's the best way to execute' and, you know, I lost as many of those as I won, and... In the end... it seems to have all worked out, because, you know-- it is by no means a flawless motion picture. But I think it absolutely is a successful film. I think it does, it does, it tells its story well, it is moving, it is exciting, it is fun, it has a heart to it...and it leaves you with some questions! And they're not just plot questions-- that-- it leaves you with some stuff that if you are inclined to think about, there's a lot there's a lot to unpack.
Mimi: Absolutely. Yeah. I mean... the question, of course, that whole immortality-- like some people immediately will be like 'of course I’d want to be immortal' I'm like 'but would you want to watch everyone you know die?' and then 'all right would you be alone' and, you know, of course Booker's-- you know, um-- punishment, have you, of being alone quote unquote for a hundred years... I mean a hundred years, you know, you think-- that's a long time.
Greg: Right.
Mimi: And so, uh, I do have to ask though what's up with Andy! Like --you're-- you left us in such a --in such a state! Oscar’s like 'you have to ask Greg what's going on with Andy' or do we not-- we cannot go there?
Greg: Look, the film has a very obviously-- very obvious 'in case of sequel break glass' scene. Right, I mean-- and that's how I've been referring to it. The 'emergency sequel' button is right there. And all they have to do is go 'beep' and you have your entree into another story. Um, the question about Andy really is whether or not the immortality is the thing that matters, right. Where she is left at the end of the film, I think, asks some really cool questions about who this woman gets to be moving forward. Um, and should we be able to do a sequel, you bet your ass we're going to interrogate the hell out of that. Um, but... one of the things that I particularly like about the movie-- and I say this with the, you know, 'in case in case of sequel break glass' proviso, is that the movie doesn't need a sequel. The movie has an ending, it is a complete work. It does not say, uh, 'unless there is a second story this story doesn't have merit or value or mean anything'.
Mimi: Right.
Greg: It stands absolutely on its own.
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: Um, should there be an Old Guard 2, then I suspect an Old Guard 2 is gonna be arguably contingent on making an Old Guard 3. That, once you enter into a second part you are actually saying 'we are we are talking about, uh, a collection, we're we're talking about a completion here' and that movement in that structure is in act 1 and act 2 and act 3. But as it stands now as you walk away from it-- all right, so maybe Andy's gonna die. You know, maybe the next day she crosses the street she's hit by a truck.
Mimi: I'm gonna guess no on that!
Greg: But maybe. Or maybe, maybe she gets to go for 50 years, you know, and die of old age. Finally.
Mimi: Right, um, and I liked what she said, when there was that realization point by others that, you know, she was possibly losing her mortality and she said 'it doesn't matter, we go in the same way, and we come out the same way, as we always did' so nothing changes.
Greg: ‘This changes nothing’
Mimi: ‘This changes nothing’. And that really resonated with me because you kind of go ‘okay it's not about the immortality or the magic or the fighting or any of that', you know, it's like, who she is and what her purpose is has been-- you know, it was just I thought it was really--
Greg: Well and I think thematically right, um-- hold on a second sorry-- um, I think, um, thematically that that is the crucial thing right? Um, it is an issue of -- okay at the end of the day... you can strip away the whole immortality of this movie and it's still saying the same thing. And it is saying that how you live your life matters. And the decisions you make, and the choices you make, and the ways you... choose to help people, matter. And they matter beyond an accounting you will ever be privileged to see. And the... obvious and I suppose easy, um, analogy for that right now is the act of wearing a mask in public.
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: Your decision to wear a mask in public may save the life of somebody literally on the other side of the world.
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: And that may be the person who will cure cancer, I mean, to draw it really big.
Mimi: Yeah yeah that's the ripple effect.
Greg: Right yeah, we don't know the value of the life. And I’ve talked about this as well but, you know, if you use the good place, um, term of moral desert--
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: --if you're trying to live your life in search of moral desert then-- you-- that's a fine reason to do good things, but it is a flawed motivation. That the motivation needs to be 'we do the best we can and we try to help others because that is what we should do'. And what the film is able to say 'is these people have been around long enough that it is possible to see it'
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: But that isn't the reason you do it, right. And Andy says --and I think this is important she says that to Booker-- you do it on faith. You know, she says to Booker, 'have a little faith, Book'. Um, that she has come through all of this with this reaffirmation, that there is that... there is a worthiness to the effort itself. That we engage in the struggle for the sake of the struggle. And I can't think of anything frankly more resonant in July of 2020 than that right now. We are living in a time, in a place that is genuinely the worst it has ever been in modern history. I mean it genuinely is.
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: We're looking at this-- this makes the start of World War II look like a fucking picnic. The crises that the world is facing and the bad actors who are attempting to keep it going, who are actively fighting attempts to fix it, uh, is staggering. We are facing a banality of evil at this moment that is incomprehensible, if you really start to think about it. And it is on every fucking level, you know, it's it is from foreign students we're going to kick out of the country--
Mimi: I know that's infuriating.
Greg: The only reason to do that is to kill higher education, at a time when higher education is its most vulnerable. It’s the only reason to do it.
Mimi: Yeah, it's all insidious
Greg: That is-- that is a-- that is a direct, direct attack on the intellect of the country. It is it is an attack trying to make the United States dumber, because the stupider we get the easier we are for these fucking fascists to control. Right, we have-- we are at war with Russia, but we have the GOP and the president refusing to admit it, because they work for Russia.
Mimi: Yeah yeah.
Greg: Right, but we are at war with Russia right now. All right, there's no question. We have a president who is actively promoting a white supremacist agenda, because he wants a race war, because he wants a civil war, because that way he won't have to lose the election and he won't have to leave, because if he leaves he's going to get raped to death when he goes to prison.
Mimi: Tell me how you really feel, Greg!
Greg: We are-- we are literally at a staggering crisis.
Mimi: Yeah yeah no, and when you're explaining all of those things about the film that was exactly what I was thinking was, well and that is why it's so frustrating when something as simple as, I hear people say ‘well I don't believe I should have to wear a mask' that's why it's so infuriating-- [they talk over each other a little]
Greg: --selfish thing to do
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: It is a staggering selfishness. I-- [mocking] 'oh it's hard for me to breathe wearing a face mask' it's like, 'you're the same guy who won't wear a condom because it doesn't feel good!’ you know, and it's like-- and-- I’ve got no tolerance for that, I literally have no tolerance. You know, you can't do-- it's funny, you're asking ER people to do it 24 hours a day.
Mimi: Exactly
Greg: They seem to manage it!
Mimi: Have you seen, uh, Jon Stewart lately, he's been doing a lot of interviews and there was this one where he's like 'yeah, I mean what happened to wearing a mask as like a sign of a medical professional? So the next time you go to surgery you're to tell your surgeon 'don't you dare wear a mask, get that liberal shit away from me, because I'm an American, I don't need your mask--'
Greg: '--I don't need you I’ll take those dreams(?)--'
Mimi: Yeah yeah
Greg: It's bullshit, it's selfish bullshit, and it's propaganda.
Mimi: Yeah right.
Greg: And it comes down from, you know, it comes down from, you know, the hissy fiddler in chief.
Mimi: Yeah. Lack of leadership.
Greg: Exactly.
Mimi: I'm living in it in Florida, too. Let me tell you that that trickle down is no joke, here.
Greg: I hate to tell you, Mimi, but [sarcastic] thank you, Florida. You know. Florida: the reason why the rest of the country can't have nice things.
Mimi: I know! Florida wins, every time it's so embarrassing!
Greg: I would be, I would consider moving [if he lived in Florida], simply because I would be infuriated.
Mimi: I know and, you know, I thought about it in 2016, but then I thought ‘I will stay and fight!’ because of you! You’re the one that wrote at the end of Lazarus to stay and fight, and now it's your fault that I'm staying! [Both laughing]
Greg: But see and here's the thing, right-- we can, we can rag on Florida, easy target, the fact of the matter is there are plenty of Floridians who are wearing masks and looking around and being like 'what the hell is the matter with you guys'.
Mimi: Yes! So we're trying! We’re trying!
Greg: And this is the other thing the vast number of people who are trying to do right, the people who do have empathy, the people who do care, we outnumber these guys! But the problem in being in a situation where we're all in it together is it doesn't take many people who say 'I'm not in it with you' to fuck it up for everybody else. That’s the problem. And then that is tied to the fact that those of us who do look at one another with empathy are resistant to-- for instance, taking a baseball bat to the people who are ruining for the rest of us. And this is one of the things frankly that we need to get over. We need to get to a place where it is not-- it is not tolerated. We need to get to a place where-- and the starkest example is this, you know, if you're going to pull out that racist bullshit somebody needs to hit you. There was a time when racists were scared and the reason they were scared was because they got punched in the mouth. And we stopped punching Nazis in the mouth!
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: we've stopped punching Nazis in the mouth! And we have spent way too long right now trying to reason with people when they are working from a place that defies reason. If you start your argument with 'you don't have a right to exist'. I'm not going to convince you! I have no obligation to convince you! None! None whatsoever! You look me in the eye and you say 'because you're Jewish you should die,' I get to say, 'guess what, here's the baseball bat'. That does not engage me. I will engage you about policy decisions.
Mimi: Mm-hmm yeah.
Greg: You know, Mark is fond of saying-- I remember he said 'I missed the days when I used to be able to argue with my republican friends about policy'.
Mimi: Yeah yeah I know.
Greg: You can't do that anymore, now it's about ideology and it's not even valid ideology. It is a demonstrably invalid ideology and we know it.
Mimi: Yeah yeah yeah the moral compass has been completely destroyed.
Greg: And we know how that happened and we know why that happened.
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: And we all know that Mark Zuckerberg is not doing anything to fix it, because Mark Zuckerberg is a chicken shit.
Mimi: Oh you mean 'Mark Zuckerberg, comma, the known pedophile'? Who doesn't believe in checking facts?
Greg: Yeah. I'm talking about Mark Zuckerberg, who was recently seen having sex with dead goats.
Mimi: [laughs] That one, okay got it. [laughs again, pause] so, uh……... The Old Guard... I'm just kidding!
Greg: No, but, okay but to bring it back around, I think that... look, there's one of the things that I love about the movie, and I think Gina and especially Charlize's performance, carries is the melancholy of it. But to end the movie on this note that Nile brings. This grace note that is, I think, it's not a call to arms, but it is an affirmation of what we can do. It doesn't matter, it literally is-- take away their immortality, the message is the same. and I'll take that message right now, man, without hesitation.
Mimi: Yeah it's true, she made the choice to get into the fight and to, you know, back up her team, her new family basically is what it is and, um, I would be amiss if I didn't talk about my unbelievable love for Nicky! [pause] and Joe! I, oh my god, [fangirling intensifies] so I loved it as much in the comic, but seeing it on screen... There was just something very magical for me, especially, you know, the scene in the truck and Joe does his 'my boyfriend' speech. you know, I-- oh my gosh. I think I rewound and rewatched that part because it was just so beautiful and so perfectly executed and, um-- that relationship to me, is just that's what I need right now. Like I need to believe in love, and I need to see, um, the happy parts of the film.
Greg: Marwan killed that, but I gotta tell you, one of my favorite moments is the moment when they're in the lab and, uh, and Nicky being like, 'much as I like watching you sleep...' and just the warmth between them on that and, you know, 'I’ve been thinking about Malta' and 'which time in Malta' and--
[both, very cutely] 'Ah that time in Malta!'
Greg: Yeah and I just, you know, Luca and Marwan. I look-- the casting on the movie is superlative. I just --I cannot imagine how they could have cast better. But the genuine friendship between Luca and Marwan, behind the scenes. They were, you know, they were going out and drinking at night, and Leandro has a photo of the two of them, uh, between setups outside of the soundstage at Shepparton, and they're kicking a soccer ball back and forth! They just, you know, they just loved each other as people.
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: You know what I mean? They were tight.
Mimi: Yeah yeah it translates! It really, it really translates on film. Like it's, you know, obviously maybe they're not like in love and like this couple, but you could see there's this chemistry, and they're friends, and there's a love for one another and, um, oh gosh it really translates. And so yeah-- I oh-- I just want to take Nicky home with me.
Greg: There is a shot-- it's one of the last--it's the last, I think, solo shot on Luca and it's the moment when he's looking at the sociogram, and he's just got his head cocked to the side... and it is... it's one of those things that you can only do in film, right, because it's --literally the camera, he is looking past the camera at this thing that the audience isn't seeing, and all it is him looking at it, and it's not like his he's doing facial calisthenics or anything.
Mimi: Right yeah
Greg: And I look at that shot and I just adore him-- and I can't even tell you-- I don't know if he was acting. It looks like acting to me!
Mimi: Right yeah Luca did such a spot on--
Greg: But that look in that moment. And me-- I just go-- like oh my god. He is so good.
Mimi: Yeah yeah.
Greg: He is so good.
Mimi: So let's talk a little bit about being on set because I know that you, uh, of course it's Stump Town but you weren't as involved in it the way that you were with this film being the screenwriter... um, you know, what was just kind of some memorable moments for you or what challenging moments even?
Greg: Challenging moments? Okay, um, this is gonna get me in trouble. I’ll tell you-- so I’ll tell you a couple of my favorite stories. Um, challenging was-- there were a lot of night shoots. And it was roughly, you know, I mean we're talking on the ninth, and I think I got back from England almost a year ago tomorrow, right. And I had been in England for about four or five weeks working on the film. And, a lot of those were night shoots on location. And that meant that you would, you know, end up going out during the day and you would have to wait until full dark in England, in summer. So there was literally shooting on the shortest night of the year, you had three and a half hours of darkness in which to shoot. And it gets a little bit of a grind.
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: You know, you're out there, and you're tired, and it is late, and it is cold, and there are only so many, you know, Americanos you can get from craft services (?) [laughs] yeah, um, and that was... that was exhausting. Um, I will tell you the best day I had.
Mimi: Yes.
Greg: Um, and this is going to piss people off, if they ever hear this and they won't so. Um, Mark Evans is this wonderful wonderful man, who was the producer on the movie. He was the guy on the ground. And when I arrived there had been, um, I mean-- so the long and the short of it is this: I got fired from the project in January of 2019. They brought in another writer for about six to eight weeks, they fired that writer. They brought in another writer, uh, and at that point Gina was re-engaging me. And then I ended up, by the time I was back out there, I was rehired on the production. But in that interim of like two and a half, three months, there had been different scenes and variations on the script. And so when I arrived the draft was this Frankenstein thing that was some of my original stuff, and some of the stuff Gina had done, and some of the stuff the last writer had done, and then the stuff that I had been doing throughout May and into June before I got there. And we ended up, um, on this day and it was super hot, and it's the sequence when they are filming-- it's the sequence outside of Andy's mine. And it was the arrival at the mine and then it's the scene with Andy and Nile outside of the mine. And those were shot at a quarry, um, in or near... I want to say Sussex.
Mimi: Okay.
Greg: So it's about an hour and a half outside of London and it is already scorching hot as we're headed out there. And we all know it's going to be all day, because we're going to have to, um, set everything up to then shoot dusk as dawn, right?
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: So I'm staying at this hotel and they have a driver, you know, the driver was assigned to me and I forget his name-- he was lovely, it was this great guy, and these guys are all interesting anyway, like the set drivers-- there's a whole discussion to be had about these guys. This guy is terrific, and we're driving down and we're talking, because I like talking to these guys, and, you know, I'm not going to be able to write in the car because I'll throw up everywhere. And he tells me that, oh yeah, you know, his parents moved down here and this and that, and I knew going out that day that Mark and I were going to spend the day in a trailer trying to compile everything into one collective draft. And I already wasn't looking forward to that, because I’d be like 'I'm gonna be in a goddamn trailer all day doing that. I don't wanna...’ [grumbles]. But I said to him 'wait a minute you're from around here?' he says 'oh yeah, you know.'[pause] '...you know, any good pubs?' and he says, 'uh, I do, yeah, there's a great old pub I can think of' and I say 'okay'. So we get to the location, and we are in the middle of nowhere because it's a FUCKING quarry.
Mimi: Right.
Greg: And base camp where they put the trailers is literally a mile from where they're shooting.
Mimi: Okay
Greg: Right because you have to go up this hill and up these little roads to the quarry. It’s an old quarry. and I get there, and nobody's around, and one of the assistants says 'oh Mark's over there' and I go okay and I go to Mark's trailer and I knock on the door, and I open the door, and he's sitting there. And it's not glamorous. Understand these are not the movies star trailers, these are not airstream trailers, these are absolutely no frills-- like there-is-a-bathroom-and- two- tables trailers, right? There's nothing sexy about them. This is not--I know what people think of when they go oh 'you're in a [noises]'. No! This trailer-- I mean Charlize may have had a glorious trailer--
Mimi: Right, this was not Charlize's trailer
Greg: Yeah Kiki might have, you know, I don't know--
Mimi: This is more like a middle school trailer.
Greg: Exactly. The example is this is the kind of trailer that they bring to the elementary school when they've run out of classrooms, right
Mimi: Right.
Greg: Right and so Mark's sitting there. And he's-- and the thing about Mark is he's got so much energy, and he says 'Rucka!' and I say 'Mark! ...let's go to a pub.' and he goes '...can we do that?' and I say 'do we have to be here today to do this? There a reason you have to be here, in this trailer, to do this work?' and he goes '...let's go to a pub!'. So we find the driver, and I say to him-- I think his name was Steve-- and I say 'Steve, can you take us to that pub?' and he says 'yeah!'. So we get in the car-- and we drive, and it takes about 20 minutes, and about 15 minutes into the drive Evans is looking at me like 'this is not go-- I thought it was nearby'. And, you know, its like-- it is nearby, but these are little narrow roads --
Mimi: Right right.
Greg: --the driver had to orient... and we finally get to this place-- this beautiful old pub up on top of this hill--
Mimi: Wow.
Greg: --in Sussex, on the hottest day of the year so far, underneath these trees, at these benches-- and this is an old pub, like they closed at like two and didn't open again until five and we got there at like 1:30. So we got there, we get lunch, we get a plate, and we sit out there and we work until like 5:30-6. And about halfway into this Mark's like 'we're gonna get in so much trouble for doing this'. It’s my favorite day on this set right now. literally lo and behold by about the time five o'clock, six o'clock, rolls around he's starting to get calls from his assistant being like 'they want to know where you are'.
Mimi: Right. [jokingly] 'We’re working offset!'
Greg: And we did! We got it all compiled and then we drove back to location and-- we were there when they did the actual shooting and everything. But that was, and will probably be to the end of my days, one of my most favorite film experiences, which is the part of making the movie where we got to go 'we get to go do this now'
Mimi: Yeah yeah.
Greg: You know, and that was, it was a treat. I loved it.
Mimi: I love that, yeah. And it's so great because you needed some creativity. Like a trailer just doesn't do it, so I thought that made it a lot of sense. How much fun, though, because I often hear that when people are filming in different places, you don't get to explore in the way that you would like to. So it's nice that you kind of were able to take a mini break. A one day break.
Greg: But it really was --and I do kind of mean it-- was a present.
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: I have photos from time on set, and there's a shot... the house that was used for Merrick’s apartment, is called the jura house, and it's apparently owned by some Russian oligarch, and it's a very shi-shi, fancy, you know, 800-architectural-awards house.
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: And I have a photo of Evans and me-- I think Leo took it --and we're literally sitting on the floor, in the basement, which is where all the monitors were set up, as they're filming upstairs... backs to the wall, each of us with our laptops on our knees, each of us using these, uh, rifle bags that have been doubled and tripled over as pillows. And that's the experience on The Old Guard. It’s literally [?? I’m not sure what he said, ‘doing our best’ maybe ??] and, um, yeah, so yeah. It is a remarkable-- and you know this, you made a movie-- it's a remarkable amount of hard work. You come out of the experience going-- and I’ve said this before-- once you are involved in the making of a movie, you can never walk away going 'god how do they manage to make such a bad movie?' The question is always 'how did they manage to make a movie?'
Mimi: Yeah.
Greg: The mere act of forcing this kind of bizarre storytelling into creation... is it's staggering. It defies any realm of logic... the precision required, the commitment required, the attention required, to create something that's going to exist on somebody's eyeballs for a second or two or three. Shot by shot. You know, um, it's insane.
Mimi: Yeah it is, yeah and there's so many moving parts, you know, and you're such a huge part of this one and so I'm so excited to see how well it came together. and it-- from what you could see, because you were saying 'oh, you know, everybody was close on set they were playing soccer and all these things' and it's like, you can see that it's a film that has, you know, cohesion. like it's very well put together, like you could feel that everything was in its place, like I could see you got along with Gina, I could see that, you know, you could see each part was where it needed to be, because seeing sets that fall apart-- and you-- it isn't a question of how movies fall apart and they don't, you know, go from one process to another, there's no, um, you know, synergy between the people working. But it really really did come together and I'm super super excited for you, and excited for the sequel! My my only thing--
Greg: Potential! [sequel]
Mimi: Potential! Oh I think I think that, uh, viewers are going to want more. like I said, it's a film that we do need right now and I think it's a refreshing, uh, type of thing where we can kind of just take a moment away and be lost in a film. I think that's a gift, because I find that that doesn't happen as often as I'd like it to these days! Uh, but, um, but yeah the casting, everything was beautiful, and I'm so happy for you, as a writer but also as a filmmaker now. My only quarry, my only disappointment is I was not around to, um --especially since there could be a sequel-- to at least audition for Qynh because I know there's some awesome sword work that could be coming in the future! And I'm so like-- but I'm super excited because Veronica, you know, the little we did get to see of her, she did a fabulous job! But I was like 'man I would have liked to throw my hat in for that one'. [laughs]
Greg: Gotta talk to your agent!
Mimi: I know!
Greg: I didn't have anything to do with casting!
Mimi: I know, I know, I know. No, but it's super exciting to see kind of that how it all comes together. Especially reading it, right, because of course like I said, I've read the rest of the comic. I know the new one just dropped!
Greg: Yeah, issue five will be out next week.
Mimi: That's very exciting! So yes so, uh, listeners go ahead and grab that! Get the whole thing though, so you could see it from beginning to end! Because, uh, it does kind of complement seeing the movie, you know, it complements it. You get that backstory, you kind of get the feeling for the characters in a different way, and like you said they're different mediums. Um, but both really amazing stories, and a lot of fun to, um, to be a part of. And to experience so super exciting [they both make weird excited noises] so, uh, hopefully we'll talk again next week, I know you have been going crazy with all these interviews but, um, everybody go and watch The Old Guard right now! Because it is available, you can turn on your Netflix and you don't have to wait, it's right there!
Greg: Right there!
Mimi: Right there for you!
Greg: In fact you won't even have to search for it!
Mimi: No, it's gonna be number one!
Greg: It's gonna shove it in your face!
Mimi: Yeah it'll be recommended for you, and, um, I also, uh, you know, as a filmmaker. I know that you guys don't need as big of a push because it's Netflix and all but, you know, give it a little rating! Go on to imdb and give it some love. Um, because why not? [laughs] Alright Greg, I don't want to take up much more of your time, I think you need to unwind and enjoy this. Congratulations on your film and, uh, we're super excited for it!
Greg: Thank you Mimi!
Mimi: That's all for today's episode! Thanks for listening to culture chat and hope you enjoyed the conversation.
#it was completely random whether i included the 'um's tbh#also warning greg goes on a Political Rant in the middle so if that kind of thing bothers you: there it is
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Batfam x Game Of Thrones AU
under the cut bc it’s long lol
HOUSE WAYNE:
An ancient house, which is held in high esteem both in the royal court and by commoners. Although House Wayne no longer holds a great deal of land (the border cuts through the Kingswood, just south of King’s Landing), they still act as lords over a large stretch of coastline in the south. The ports here allowed House Wayne to build their fortune, cementing their status as a high house.
In recent years, the Waynes have maintained and built their wealth through a combination of loans and investments. Often, they loan money to the Crown or the Iron Bank, and they control much of the trade of silks and spices from Essos.
The Waynes are known to be a proud family, and very honourable, similar to the Starks in the North (for example, there are almost never rumours of bastards). They are known to treat the common people on their land well, and are well-bred and well-liked at court - however, the family is also somewhat reclusive, and little is known about their business.
Furthermore, in contrast with many of the great houses of Westeros, the Waynes tend not to have many children. This may be because of their isolated nature, or perhaps due to a lack of ambition - many lords of this house will only have one or two sons in their lifetime.
Good relationships with the majority of houses in Westeros, as well as connections across the Narrow Sea, but their main allies include the Tyrells and the Tullys. House Wayne also commands some bannermen, including House Kyle.
Traditionally, the Wayne’s colours are silver, grey, and deep blue - these are the colours of their armour and banner (a silver moon, partially obscured by a stormcloud).
House words: we are the night.
BRUCE WAYNE (THE BAT):
Bruce Wayne is the only child of Lord Thomas Wayne, and his parents were killed in front of him by bandits as a boy, while the family was travelling to King’s Landing.
Following his parents’ death, a young Bruce was sent to foster with the Starks in Winterfell - here, he began to train harder than ever in swordplay, archery, and riding. Soon, Lord Stark allowed Bruce out with Winterfell’s guard to hunt down bandits roaming the land: even as a boy, Bruce was a natural leader, and often convinced his fellow soldiers to use non-lethal force. This sat well with Lord Stark, who encouraged Bruce to continue his training after leaving the North.
Bruce returned to his own lands aged eleven, ready to become Lord Wayne and take command of the lands back from the family steward, Alfred Pennyworth. Although Bruce took well to managing the estate, the lands were not large or particularly difficult to run, and so he soon left again to train. Command of his lands was once again left to Alfred.
Over the next few years, Bruce trained in a variety of styles, often fostering with other houses. Wherever he went, he would always sit in on council meetings about criminals and traitors, and took a particular interest in their punishments. He quickly built a reputation for being strong-willed and passionate, but very much against sentencing men to death: many lords took his advice to send criminals to the Wall.
By the time he officially took the title of Lord Wayne aged 17, Bruce had trained with the Dornish, the men of the Night’s Watch, Braavosi sellswords, the Kingsguard, and a khalasar of Dothraki. He also returned with a new master-of-arms, Lucius Fox, who came from Qohor and had the knowledge to rework Valyrian Steel.
As Lord Wayne, Bruce is an excellent leader, even if he rarely deals directly with his subjects. He ensures the safety of his people, and commissions a new port on the coastline - he is also renowned for charitable donations, and opens the castle gates to commoners during winter.
Very well-liked amongst the other houses, and in the royal court; lords and ladies pity him for his parents’ death, and find him perhaps a little boyish, but Bruce is undeniably charismatic. He builds a playboy reputation in his later teens - brothels always make more money when he visits King's Landing, and he refuses to even discusses betrothals - but this is as a cover for his true intentions.
With the help of an enthusiastic Lucius Fox, and an exasperated Alfred, Bruce takes up the identity of the Bat, a mysterious vigilante in a black cowl and cape who roams the south on a black stallion. At first, the Bat is dismissed as a low-born playing at being a knight, but people soon begin to take notice when a notorious group of bandits is found, disarmed and tied up, outside the gates of King’s Landing.
The Bat never kills his victims, and always leaves clear instructions that they should either be thrown into jail, or sent to the Night’s Watch. Other lords will generally respect his wishes - after all, this vigilante is saving them a lot of work and trouble, and it’s easy enough to send a few bandits North.
Single-handedly rebuilds the Night’s Watch, halves petty crime in the South, and does it all without anyone other than his steward and Lucius Fox knowing his identity.
He doesn’t know why people started calling him the Bat, but he assumes it’s because of the black cape, which can look like wings in the night. He had a special cowl, with pointed ears, designed so he could play into the role. Also, people often assume that the Bat is one of the Whents, as their coat of arms is a bat. Bruce finds this hilarious.
As Bruce ages and his children begin to take over his work, Bruce begins to relax into the role of Lord Wayne more. He even begins to discuss the potential of marriage. Currently, he’s courting Selina Kyle, an only child who took over leadership of her house after her father died under mysterious circumstances. He also is taking the opportunity to travel more, since he can trust Dick and Tim to run the lands in his absences.
DICK GRAYSON (NIGHTWING):
Originally from Pentos, Richard Grayson (called Dick by his family members) was born into a large and successful circus - when he was young, the circus travelled across the Narrow Sea to Westeros, where he grew up performing in King’s Landing and Highgarden.
It was at one of these performances where his parents died. The Lannisters were implicated in the murder, after the circus accumulated unpaid debts to them, but nothing was ever proved. Young Dick was comforted at the scene by Lord Wayne, and later taken in as his ward.
An incredibly skilled acrobat, and, as Bruce soon found, a natural at fighting, Dick thrived as a ward of a great house. He missed his parents greatly, and vowed to hunt down the hired thugs who killed them (as well as all other criminals), but he also grew to love Bruce Wayne as a father.
Became Robin - a vigilante dressed in a signature red cape - aged 12. He would have done so sooner, if Bruce had allowed it, but he’s incredibly eager and loves the role. He incorporated fighting styles from Essos, as well as his acrobatic skills, into his fighting, which made him incredibly difficult to predict during sword fighting. He preferred a one-handed longsword, but he was equally as likely to use a staff.
The people of the royal court loved him. Dick quickly learned how to navigate high society, and as a naturally friendly and charming person, also learned how to make people like him. This was necessary, given people’s tendency to dismiss him as a lowborn foreigner, and after a few years of lessons, Dick managed to wrap half the lords and ladies of kings landing around his little finger.
Officially adopted and given the Wayne name in his late teens, as a result of Bruce’s long-term efforts to convince the King to allow it. However, Dick chooses to pass over the line of succession, and hates when people call him a lord. He can often be found playing with local children, teaching them somersaults or learning songs from them.
As a foreigner, he wasn’t permitted to officially join the Kingsguard, but he did spend a brief stint as Commander of the City Watch in King’s Landing. It was after Jason’s death and during a time of identity crisis for him. He enjoyed the role, but felt that he couldn’t overcome the corruption within the City Watch.
Became Nightwing after this time, and currently uses this identity. Nightwing wears black and blue leather armour, and fights with a distinctive staff inspired by his ancestors in the East. Nightwing roams the South, sometimes venturing as far North as the Neck - he has a talent for sniffing out assassins and hired thugs - but always returns to Wayne lands.
When he isn’t covering his lengthy absences as training, Richard Grayson-Wayne spends most of his time with his family in Gotham. He’s particularly good at teaching the others the finer points of high society (people always wonder why he rejected the chance to become Lord Wayne) and is deeply protective over his family. Dick also travels across the Narrow Sea on his father’s trading ships often, as he misses Essos.
If Dick doesn’t receive at least 3 proposals per week, it’s a slow week. Every woman (and half the men) south of the Wall have fallen in love with him. However, Dick has no particular interest in marrying or creating heirs, and he’s currently focusing on eradicating crime, where he can, as his own person.
JASON TODD (THE RED HOOD):
A low-born boy, Bruce found a young Jason trying to steal his black stallion in the stormlands. Although Bruce was of course frustrated, he saw potential in Jason, and followed the boy back to his home at the local village. Here, Bruce saw that Jason had no future, other than the likely path of being forced into joining a local gang of thugs.
Bruce returned to the stormlands the next week, as Lord Wayne, and pretended that he was searching for a new stablehand. Jason jumped at the opportunity to leave his village, and took full advantage of Gotham’s master-at-arms and armoury. He could often be found in the dead of night, hacking at training dummies with a greatsword he was too young to lift - soon, Bruce intervened and began to train Jason himself.
Jason built a close relationship with Bruce, who allowed him to become Robin after two years of intense training (and the realisation that Jason was going to get into fights either way), and Dick, who accepted the younger boy as his brother after a frosty first impression. He would never have admitted it, but in his first few years with House Wayne, Jason craved their approval and did everything he could to fit in.
Although officially the stableboy, Jason was treat as a ward, and was eventually adopted in a similar manner to Dick. Jason pretended not to care, and Bruce kept it a quiet affair, but it meant more to Jason than he could manage to put into words.
Did well as Robin - beyond a few thugs ending up with severely damaged ribs - but, upon finding out that his birth mother was actually a prostitute from the Vale, decided to take a temporary break in order to track her down. With Bruce’s blessing and House Wayne’s money, Jason left Gotham and travelled for months, eventually finding his mother in Volantis. It was here that she sold him out to the Joker, a sadistic man whose origins were unknown, and Jason was killed in an explosion of wildfire.
Resurrected by Talia Al’Ghul, an ex-Red Priestess who once knew Bruce Wayne and had followed Jason’s journey in Volantis. Jason experienced a temporary madness from this resurrection, however, and ended up leaving the city to train with a Dothraki horde for some time - these were the only people who could manage his newfound strength and lust for violence. After this, Jason took up the mantle of Red Hood (a red cowl, with silver-plate armour) and worked as a mercenary in Essos.
Upon finding out that Bruce Wayne hadn’t avenged his murder, Jason returned to Westeros as Red Hood, now an extremist vigilante who killed the Bat’s targets and left them waiting to greet the Bat. This behaviour continued for years, until Dick managed to track Jason down and talk him down.
Now, Jason works more closely with his family. He still kills the worst of criminals - rapists, serial killers, etc. - but takes great measures to hide this from them. He fights with a silver greatsword, and is feared by bandits across the kingdoms. Jason is also the most likely of his family to venture into the North, and has even travelled beyond the Wall.
His absence from Westeros was easily explained away by House Wayne - Jason never appeared much at court as a child, so his disappearance was hardly noted - and Jason has taken somewhat more of an active role in the house since his return. He takes the title of lord, but passes over succession and still feels a little uncomfortable dealing with other lords, and instead keeps mostly to studying and dealing with the affairs of the Wayne’s land.
Builds a reputation as being harsh, but fair. No one even bothers to ask for a betrothal. They know what the answer will be. Even if his identity as the Red Hood is a secret, Jason Todd-Wayne still carries a greatsword with him at almost all times, and he intimidates even the mightiest of lords.
TIMOTHY DRAKE (RED ROBIN):
Tim was born into a noble house, distantly descended from the Targaryens (hence the name, Drake). However, he was part of a branch of the main family, and therefore was not expected to inherit all the lands and titles. Instead, Tim spent much of his childhood studying at the Citadel, and had the potential to become a great maester.
However, he had been transfixed with Richard Grayson since attending one of his performances as a very young boy, and seeing Bruce Wayne comfort Dick after his parents’ death. After following their exploits for many years, and reading Citadel reports on the Bat and Nightwing, Tim deduced their true identities. When Jason Todd was killed, Tim travelled to Gotham and confronted Bruce and Dick.
He was accepted as the new Robin at the urging of Alfred and Dick. Tim gave the role of Robin a new meaning - although he was a skilled fighter and trained just as hard as Bruce and Dick, Tim was particularly good at following clues and setting clever traps for his targets. Many of his victims were lured into easy crimes, for example robbing a lonely woman on the side of the road, but were disarmed and subdued before they even realised they had been tricked.
Tim chose to fight with a staff, similar to one he once saw Dick using (he never quite gets over his admiration of Dick Grayson). He was physically very small until his late teens (where he experienced a much-anticipated growth spurt) and preferred to avoid physical confrontations where possible.
Disguised his time in Gotham as fostering with the Waynes. This is common amongst the sons of great houses, and when his parents died, Tim was officially taken in as a ward of House Wayne. Tim was not close with his parents at the time of their death (he resented them for essentially abandoning him as a child) and he saw the Waynes as his true family.
As he grew older, Tim took more of an active role in the House affairs: having grown up as part of a great house, he was a natural at diplomacy, and had a talent for manipulating lords and ladies without them being any the wiser. He single-handedly doubled the Wayne’s exports in the course of two years. Similarly, Tim was an expert at court, and therefore was often chosen to escort Bruce to King’s Landing (Dick was a little too over-friendly, and Jason was impossible).
Became Red Robin in his late teens, around the same age that Dick became Nightwing, and currently uses this identity. Red Robin still works closely with Batman, but he enjoys the freedom to experiment with his methods. He also regularly visits the King’s Landing dungeons, to interrogate prisoners and learn more about their minds.
He still spends at least a month of each year at the Citadel; he is hailed as one of the brightest minds in Westeros, but he doesn’t care for flattery or fame. Tim is purely focused on research, and bettering the Kingdoms as much as he can. If that means studying agriculture so he can ensure the people on Wayne lands will have enough to eat in winter, so be it. If it means taking on the identity of Red Robin and hunting down human traffickers, so be it.
Arguably the most dedicated vigilante in the entire family. Trains harder than anyone to make up for his smaller frame, reads and plans all night, and never gives himself enough time to recover from injuries. Bruce has a constant headache from worrying about his ward.
Tim is never officially adopted - his House name is too valuable to give up - but is generally referred to as one of the Wayne children. He is seen as a great potential marriage by many other houses, but always manages to slip away from meetings about betrothals at the last second. Some in Gotham suspect he has a secret lover (no one knows who, but it’s Kon Kent).
DAMIAN AL’GHUL-WAYNE (ROBIN):
Born to Talia Al’Ghul, who seduced Bruce during one of his visits to Essos to discuss trade. Talia used her powers as a Red Priestess to ensure that Damian would be genetically ‘perfect’, and she originally intended to induct her son into Ra’s Al’Ghul’s League Of Assassins - however, she later had a change of heart and sent Damian to Westeros for his own protection.
Damian, considered a bastard in Westeros, was given the surname Storm. Although raised by Bruce and treated just as well as a true-born son, Damian struggled greatly with this perceived rejection, and often fought with his adoptive brothers: he tried to elevate his position by justifying himself as the only ‘blood son’ of Bruce Wayne.
Thanks to Talia’s intervention, Damian was aware of the Wayne’s vigilante identities from as early as he could remember, and therefore he fought hard to become Robin as soon as he landed in Westeros. This caused initial tension between him and Tim, but the two reconciled as Damian grew and began to understand the importance of the role of Robin.
Became Robin within two months of coming to Gotham - Damian had spent much of his life training under Ra’s Al’Ghul, and he was arguably the most skilled Robin of all. He chose to fight with a simple curved sword, but was not opposed to using daggers and was equally comfortable with a broad range of weapons.
At first, Damian was very violent, and even struck out on his own and attempted to kill a particularly troublesome bandit leader in the Westerlands. The rest of the family never really directly addressed this, but gently continued to steer Damian away from his intensity. It was very difficult for him to learn to be merciful, but as he grows, he’s beginning to become more compassionate and less of a brat.
Thanks to Bruce’s high status and close relationship with the King, Damian was recently legitimised, and therefore is the heir to House Wayne’s lands and trades. As a result, he tries to take a decently active role in family affairs, even if they bore him with their ‘mundanity’ at times - Damian admits that he has a lot to learn from Tim in this regard.
Struggles with diplomacy. He’s already making a name for himself as a harsh lord: he doesn’t take kindly to people who rely too heavily on help from the Waynes, and often argues with other lords who try to take advantage of his family. It falls to Dick to apologise on Damian’s behalf. However. Damian is fiercely protective of the commoners living on Wayne lands - no one really knows why, but Dick suspects it’s because Damian believes he can protect them and better their lives.
Damian is one of the only high lords in Westeros who believes in the Lord of Light. He’s seen the Lord of Light’s power first-hand, through his mother’s powers and his grandfather’s Lazarus Pits, and he openly rejects the Old Gods or the Seven. This causes some tensions with older families, but people in Gotham are beginning to come around to the religion of the Lord Of Light, and this is further cementing Damian’s position as the future Lord Wayne.
Currently, Damian has no desire to stop being Robin. He’s still young, and has a lot to learn; plus, he appreciates the good he can do working with his father. Although he’d never admit it, the time he spends with Bruce in their vigilante identities is among his most treasured memories.
Accepts that he will be expected to marry one day, for the good of the family. Damian has a strong sense of duty. Betrothals are often discussed, but Bruce and Dick are strangely reluctant to allow their baby boy to marry just yet.
EXTRAS:
Stephanie Brown - a low-born girl living in Gotham, whose father was running a low-level crime ring at the docks. Steph, with a strong sense of morals, took on the identity of Spoiler to defeat her father: this caught the attention of Tim Drake and Bruce Wayne. After some time, Steph managed to convince them to allow her to be Robin - Tim revealed their identities to her during a short-lived secret romance - and this led to her near death at the hands of Black Mask. Now, Steph operates again as Spoiler. She can often be found in House Wayne’s castle, posing as a serving girl or handmaiden, causing general havoc and training with Damian or Tim.
Barbara Gordon - Barbara is the daughter of Jim Gordon, who once served as Commander of the City Watch in King’s Landing. She grew up with a close relationship to Bruce, and when she deduced his identity as The Bat, she decided to take up the mantle of Batgirl. After a fight went south and left her crippled, Barbara used her connections at the citadel to get a wheelchair designed, and she now works as Oracle. She has many connections across Westeros and Essos - both through her father’s work, and her own - and uses these informants to keep the rest of the family up-to-speed on crime.
Cassandra Cain - Cass was born into the Faceless Assassins, and was raised to be a perfect killing machine: illiterate, mostly mute, and trained to read emotions precisely. However, this skill caused her to become extremely emotive, and she fled the Faceless Assassins after making her first (and only) kill. Bruce Wayne found her in his ports, stowed away on a ship, and decided to take her in as his own. Cass currently fights crime with her brothers and sister, but prefers to stay in Gotham painting or drawing. She’s known to be soft-spoken around strangers, but comes out of her shell around her family.
Duke Thomas - Duke and his family emigrated from the Summer Isles, in order to avoid piracy and raids for new Unsullied soldiers, when he was very young. The family came to Gotham due to its reputation for being relatively welcoming - Duke grew up idolising Robin, and later joined and led the informal We Are Robin movement: a group of low-born boys, trying to clean up their villages and create better lives for themselves. Duke experienced an awakening of his meta powers in his early teens, and sought out Lord Wayne for advice, knowing he had travelled and likely encountered similar powers. Duke now works with the Waynes to control and hone his powers, and has a close relationship with Jason in particular.
#what the fuck am i even talking about#this needed to get out of my head somehow#my sincerest apologies#dc#dcu#batman#batfam#game of thrones#got#asoif#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#timothy drake#red robin#damian al ghul#damian wayne#robin#duke thomas#signal#steph brown#stephanie brown#spoiler#batgirl#barbara gordon#oracle#cass cain
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And for my second fluff alphabet, I'd love Morinozuka Takeshi from Ouran Highschool Host Club, please. 💙🌹
Honestly expected this; I know how much you adore Mori LOL. Can’t blame you. He’s gorgeous. Enjoy!
Fluff Alphabet- Takashi Morinozuka
A- Activities: How do they spend their time with their s/o?
Takashi’s a movie buff, specifically for martial arts movies. One of his favorite things to do is snuggle up with his s/o for a night of binging his favorites or having an outing to the movie theater to see the latest release. In particular, he likes to comment on the battle choreography and whether it’s realistic or not. Takashi gets really pumped about this topic and talks way more than usual, and the way his eyes light up and cheeks flush is particularly adorable.
Takashi also likes to go play with animals at animal shelters with his s/o. It makes him really sad that he can’t take all of them home, but he knows how important socialization is for them, so it’s a weekly thing for him and his s/o to go spend some time with them. If his s/o is into activism, he’s totally down for organizing and attending promotions and events for the shelter! This boy wants to see all those animals get a good home!
Although these are the things Takashi himself enjoys, he’s so down-to-earth that he’ll enjoy anything his s/o wants to do. It doesn’t take much convincing to get him to do pretty much whatever; as long as he can see his s/o smile, that’s plenty enough for him.
B- Body: What does this character appreciate about their s/o? What part of their body are they most proud of, and in reverse, what body part are they ashamed of and how do they respond to their s/o gushing over it?
Takashi loves his s/o’s hands. He loves to hold them and press little kisses over their knuckles or palms or the tops of their hands, rub little circles into the skin, whatever. It’s just such a meaningful thing to him! Takashi also loves his partner’s smile. He will do anything, including make a complete fool of himself, to see them smile. It has the power to light up his day.
Takashi’s not really the type to think about his body. He just really doesn’t care, but he does get a certain satisfaction from his physique. He’s a very healthy and fit guy thanks to kendo and karate. In the same vein, he really doesn’t have any issues with his self-esteem, body-wise. Honestly, he’ll get flustered no matter what his partner compliments about him. Compliments of any kind from his s/o embarrass him easily, and it’s totally adorable.
C- Cuddles: Is this character a cuddler? What is their favorite way to cuddle?
Not the cuddliest of the hosts, but my mans still won’t deny a snuggling. Takashi’s favorite way to cuddle is to have his s/o seated between his long legs, laid back against his chest with his arms around their waist. It really gives a lot of options- propping his chin on their crown of their head, running his hands over their arms or sides, and plenty of areas to drop little kisses. When they’re watching movies, he likes to lay behind his s/o on the couch. Takashi’s so easygoing, though, that he’ll cuddle whatever way. He’s just happy to get snuggles from his s/o!
D- Dreams: How do they picture their future with their s/o?
Believe it or not, Takashi isn’t that much of a forward-thinking guy; he very much takes it day by day, the perfect epitome of “go with the flow.” Still, after a while, Takashi muses on the idea of a future with his s/o. Mostly simple visions of a house in the suburbs in a good school district, white picket fence and cute little flowerbeds kind of life. He fancies having children eventually, a couple, maybe a girl and a boy to have the best of both worlds. They’ll have nice successful careers. Rather than spending all their money on some great big grandiose manor, live a little modestly and invest to have something to pass on to his children and maybe donate to charity when they pass on. Takashi just wants a nice simple life with a good partner, nothing fancy at all.
E- Equivalence: Is this character the dominant force in the relationship, are they passive, or is the relationship more or less even?
Takashi may be easygoing, but he isn’t a pushover, as we see numerous times with his best friend Mitsukuni. The relationship will most definitely be an even split, because as much as he wants it to be a smooth ride, he won’t allow his partner to make all the decisions and basically carry the relationship. He knows that dating it a mutual, give-and-take kind of thing. It’s for this reason that a relationship with Takashi is actually pretty stellar, because there is a lot of communication and compromise.
F- Fights: How does this character respond to arguments with their s/o? What would they fight about, and who would cave and apologize first?
Takashi does not like confrontation. He’ll speak his mind, but once it delves into actual arguing and fighting, he shuts down. This can actually make it kind of frustrating, because the man just won’t talk for a good hour or so. He’s already apologizing, repeating “I’m sorry” and “I don’t know what to do,” and after a point it’s a little heartbreaking. Once his s/o calms down and it able to rationalize better, he’ll open back up and real discussion can occur. Takashi just doesn’t respond well to raised voices and conflict, so his s/o will have to be mindful of that.
G- Gratitude: How does this character show their s/o that they are grateful?
In true Host Club fashion, Takashi gets his s/o their favorite flowers- a single one for small, everyday gratitude and nice colorful bouquets for the big, meaningful stuff. Takashi isn’t the best with words so the accompanying message will be a pretty simple “I’m lucky to have you” or “I’m grateful you’re with me,” but his bluntness has a charm of its own.
H- Honeymoon: If this character had a honeymoon with their s/o, where would they go?
Takashi would love to go somewhere with distinct culture, like the Mediterranean or South America. Honestly, just taking a two-week jaunt around Europe to see major cultural landmarks is the ideal trip for him. However, if his s/o has their heart set on a tropical island getaway, Takashi will oblige; they have the entire rest of their lives to travel, after all, and certainly have the means to do so.
I- Insecurity: What is this character insecure about? How do they deal with their insecurities with their s/o?
Takashi sometimes finds himself wondering if he’s too boring because he’s so down-to-earth. He doesn’t think on it a terrible amount, because he isn’t the type to stress about these things, but once in a blue moon he’ll ask his s/o if they think he’s dull. Takashi will feel a lot better when his s/o basically laughs in his face and tells him that he isn’t dull at all, and that will be that. Takashi has a lot of trust in his s/o to tell him the truth and trust in their relationship, so it’s not something he dwells on for long.
J- Jealousy: Is this character the jealous type? How do they deal with being jealous?
As I just said, Takashi has a lot of trust in his s/o and the relationship. He is not the jealous type, at all. He gets no sneaking suspicions if his s/o is spending a lot of time with someone else, and completely ignores any lingering looks his s/o gets. He knows his partner loves him and that’s all that matters. His s/o would literally have to openly flirting and kissing on someone else for him to get even slightly jealous, but by then a hard boundary has been crossed and Takashi’s little heart is broken. Don’t do that to this boy; he is literally so soft and trusting.
K- Kiss: What does the character want their first kiss to be like with their s/o? How does it end up happening?
Again, Takashi is a go-with-the-flow kind of guy, so he basically figures that the first kiss will happen when it happens. The first kiss will likely be after the second or third date while he’s escorting his s/o up their driveway and they linger by the front door to say their farewells… And the mood will just strike him and he’ll give them a sweet, chaste kiss. Just your good ol’ typical first kiss kind of business, but no less riveting!
L- Love Confession: How does this character first profess their love to their s/o?
Takashi’s blunt and going to say what’s on his mind, so once he gets the feeling that he’s in love, he’s going to come right out and say it. Of course, he has the presence of mind to do so in the appropriate situation. He’ll likely set up a nice date with his s/o to set the mood right and give him time to work out exactly what he wants to say, because Takashi isn’t flowery with his words. However, when the time comes to it he’s just gonna bluntly stare at his s/o and tell them he loves them. Could be intimidating and make his s/o gush a little, but hey, that’s how he feels!
M- Marriage: How does this character view marriage? What is their ideal wedding like?
Takashi of course wants to marry someday. It’s a thing people do and an appropriate step in a relationship. Why wouldn’t he? Takashi doesn’t really care about what kind of wedding it is; he’ll let his s/o decide, because even though it’s a day for the both of them, they’ll likely be more into the particulars than he is. As long as all his friends and family are in attendance, he doesn’t much care.
N- Nicknames: What does this character like to call their s/o?
Given he referred to Mitsukuni as “Honey” for almost their entire lives, it’s weird to him to call his s/o that. Takashi actually sticks to calling his s/o by their name most of the time, but ever so often a “dear,” “beautiful,” “angel,” or “gorgeous” will slip out.
O- On Cloud Nine: What is this character like when they’re in love? Is it obvious to others, or are they good at hiding it?
Takashi is the king of being stoic and stone-faced, so of course no one notices when he’s in love. The signs are exceptionally subtle, and only someone with acute observation skills like Haruhi can notice- lingering gazes, slightly closer proximity, an increased number of instances of helpful behavior. There is not even a hint of a blush or nervous fidgeting on Takashi’s part. It’s quite masterful, even though he’s totally unaware that he’s even doing it. For a while, the other guys don’t even believe Haruhi saying he’s in love with somebody until she publicly asks him without his s/o around and he’s just like “LOL Yeah, why’s it a big deal?” Instant KO for everyone in the room.
P- PDA: Does this character like PDA? If so, what kinds of things do they do in public to show off their s/o?
Takashi isn’t the type to initiate much PDA, but he doesn’t care if his s/o touches him in public all the time. If they slide their hand in his, he won’t let go or pull away and may even intertwine their fingers; if they go in for a kiss he’ll turn his head to reciprocate; if they hug him randomly he’ll immediately throw their arms around him. It’s funny because he’ll just react and won’t even break the conversation he’s having or alter concentration on whatever he’s doing. It’s a skill he’s acquired from Mitsukuni randomly throwing himself at him for years.
Q- Quirks: What random traits or quirks does this character have that positively affect the relationship?
Because Takashi speaks what’s on his mind, surprise compliments or flirts are common. He can fluster his s/o so easily by just randomly saying something sweet because it occurred to him, and he won’t even get why they’re embarrassed because he just thinks it’s nice to compliment them when he feels like it. Truly amazing.
R- Romance: Is this character a hopeless romantic, or a bit on the low-key side? Are they cliché when it comes to romantic gestures, or can they get a little bit creative?
Takashi is definitely the most low-key of all the hosts when it comes to romanticism. Takashi likes to keep things simple- typical outings, typical gifts, the like. Still, Takashi can get a little creative if he notices his s/o likes certain things and will tailor his gestures to such. The man is very observant and pick up on the tiniest of things.
S- Secrets: Are there any secrets they hide from their s/o? If so, how do they deal with it when those secrets finally come out?
Takashi is an open book, mostly because he has no secrets to keep nor any care to keep them. He’ll answer anything his s/o asks him matter-of-factly and truthfully, because there’s just not any point in lying or embellishing in his eyes.
T- Thrill: Does this character prefer routine in their relationship, or do they like to shake things up every once in a while?
Takashi is more spontaneous than routine mostly because he just does what he wants when he feels like it. Definitely expect random calls of, “Hey, I’m at your door, let’s go do this” or a package that reads “I bought this because it made me think of you.” Also, there is no routine knowing a bunch of rich goofballs, and since he’s dragged into the ridiculousness his s/o is too. Still, he likes the idea of one routine thing, so he has weekly things planned like movie nights or the shelter visits, just to keep things from being too chaotic.
U- Understanding: Is this character level-headed and empathetic toward their partner, or do they sometimes have trouble figuring them out, which leads to some butting heads?
Takashi is hyper-observant and therefore knows his s/o extremely well. His temperament also affords a degree of understanding and empathy. If anything, his s/o will have trouble figuring him out, just because he’s so flighty and quiet. Because he’s relatively open to talking about things, though, there’s no butting heads because he’s just gonna answer any inquiries. The epitome of chill, this guy.
V- Value: How does this character value their relationship with their s/o? How does it hold in comparison to their goals, ambitions, etc.?
Takashi isn’t necessarily passionate about anything except for maybe his friends, so his relationship pretty much is the most important thing in his life. Sure, doing well in college and getting a good career are important to him, but not nearly as crucial as loving his s/o! It’s just something he feels the need to do well with and invest in, so he’s a bit more excited about it than most things in his life.
W- Wild Card: Any random fluff headcanon that does not fall within the other categories!
Piggy back rides! Takashi loves to give them, after all the ones he gave Mitsuki. Definitely a bonus for s/o’s that are smaller than him, because all they have to do is take off running towards his back and he’s already squatting down so they can vault up on his back.
X- XOXO: How does this character show affection?
Takashi mostly shows his affection through gifts and acts of service- he’s not poetic with words and he’s not the touchiest person, so these are the ideal ways he can express himself. He’s always doing little random things for his s/o to help them out, like little chores or errands or pretty much anything they ask. He’ll drop everything to attend to a problem of theirs. Again, gifts are very much a thing for Takashi. Chocolates, jewelry, clothes, that thing his s/o has been talking about for three days but won’t buy- the whole nine yards.
Y- Yearning: How does this character deal with time apart with their s/o?
Takashi understand distance is an inevitable part of relationships and is able to rationalize it pretty well. He keeps regular communication if he can, but if that isn’t an option, he’s more or less able to busy himself with other things to keep from thinking about it too much. If it drags on for a long time he may get a little blue, but talking it out with one of his friends and getting it off his chest does a hard reset on him. King of long-distance right here; he’s in it for the long haul and is gonna make it work no matter what.
Z- Zeal: Is this character willing to great lengths for their relationship? If so, how far, and how long does it take to get to this point?
As I mentioned, a relationship is something Takashi invests himself in, and honestly it’s like that pretty early on. It’s just something he gets zealous about, while most things in his life don’t get him to react that way. Takashi is going to do everything he can to make it work out, compromise and communicate.
#ohshc#takashi morinozuka#morinozuka takashi#ohshc mori#ohshc takashi#ouran high school host club#ohshc takashi morinozuka#ohshc morinozuka takashi#ohshc headcanons#ouran high school host club headcanons#headcanons#fluff alphabet
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What to do after death; Vampirism
Preface -
I feel the name says it all.
But, I will elaborate anyhow.
I don’t intend on becoming a Vampire, at all. It’s a raw deal and one-way passage into a hell of my own making.
I suspect should I actively pursue becoming a Vampire I will lose my soul to damnation. Vampire’s are often the results of the foulest of magic and consorting with satanic entities with depraved offerings or just as often the results of those black souled individuals who find happiness in the torment of others. If I am not planning on becoming a Vampire, why I am I making this list?
Easy, it pays to be prepared. Just because I don’t seek undeath doesn’t protect me from being turned against my will. I am of the belief, once you have become a Vampire against your will you die and lose your soul, leaving a husk behind. A husk that has all your memories, personality, and desires, but none of the restraint, humanity or compassion. A sociopath with supernatural powers and a need for life essence of others to maintain my own parasitic existence.
I am making the list to give myself direction after death so as to prevent as much suffering as I can, and if possible, try and help humanity grow.
I can only hope my husk listens to my will.
My family is well armed otherwise, they will do what must be done, as I would do for them.
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The List
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Step One - Leave home, let’s not take any chances hurting my loved ones, or former loved ones, I owe them that much.
a) Construct a note though, tell them all how much they meant to me and why I am leaving, be through and leave nothing out, but don’t tell them where I am headed. Leave the code-word I have with our elder brother so he understands and tell him he’s free to what I leave behind.
b) Make a pack, get one of our knives in there and get a gun. Get some blankets so I can cover-up during the day, actually many blankets and some stones so that they’ll be weighted down. This is a temporary solution however.
c) Empty my bank account as much as possible. Cash and coin will be more beneficial if I’m going off the grid.
d) Leave town.
Step Two - Head north and head to a bigger city
a) Buy a sleeping bag and tent at the closest opportunity.
b) Keep an ear to the ground, find out who can go missing and people would be thankful that their gone. Pick my targets carefully, never more than one person at a time and always when their not expecting it, I’m a predator I should act like it. I might have supernatural powers, but I can’t be prepared for everything and people will know my weakness if I get found out.
c) Aim for the scum of the earth, get rid of them, but not until I have conclusive evidence. But, when I do have it, it’s feeding time, make sure to take their valuables, will need it for future plans.
d) Do that for about a month and move on, can’t stay anywhere for too long. But, before we leave buy a couple books on architecture, vampires, morals and ethics, stone-working, physics, building ect. We’re going to need it.
e) Find out if I can sustain our-self off animal blood.
Step Three - Rinse and Repeat. Go from city to city in our state till I’ve cleaned out what I can. Hopefully I’ll have a duffel-bag of money and valuables, along with those books.
a) Study those books. Find out what kind of vampire I am, make sure I learn about building castles.
b) Take some time to practice building.
c) Practice hunting; Hunt some animals to drink their blood if that helps, practice skinning and chopping up the parts. Donate the meat if I can, or leave at a poor home, they probably won’t be able to afford throwing it away.
d) Learn about interior decoration.
e) Get some better guns, drop off the gun we borrowed from our family along with a chunk of changes, leave them another note that we’re doing fine.
Step Four - Time to move. By the time I’ve hit this step I should have hit all the large towns, which depending we’re counting above or below ten thousand as a big town could take us from anywhere three years to around four if I cut off at nine thousand in population for a big town. It’s hard to say how much money I’ll have at this point, but It must be at least ten thousand dollars at a minimum if I’ve spent all my time eating, murdering, and robbing scum of the earth at least once a month for three to four years.
a) Head north. I need to get to Detroit. That place is so crime ridden no will notice a vampire. If there already vampires there leave, go find another crime-ridden hell-hole. I assume vampires get stronger, or at least craftier with age, I am not fucking with any old monsters.
b) On the way there repeat the Step three on any big cities on the way there, cover my tracks.
c) Make sure to pawn off what I can. Invest in urban camo and a bullet-resistant vest.
d) Keep practicing stone masonry, and improve my gun skills. I don’t need to chase anyone down if they can run, plus I can suck the blood from the wounds, it’ll be like a water fountain.
e) Read that book on physics and other science books, I am playing the long game, look into magic too. Nothing is better than magic or science than knowing the rules to both. Don’t fuck with demon’s though.
Step Five - Settle down for a while and then move again, once I get to my crime-ridden hellhole of my choice take some time to start eliminating the seedy elements. If not, start going for the low hanging fruit, I can’t help everybody, but I can help somebody.
a) Find some random kid and become their guardian, a great way to kill time probably.
ai.) By guardian, I don’t mean parent, I’m talking more guardian spirit. A vampire rasing a child is a recipe for disaster.
aii.) Don’t get too attached though, after their in a good place leave. I’m not doing it for good, I’m doing it to maintain a little humanity.
b) By now I should have enough to fund a new identity and since I now live in a corrupt hell-hole it should be easy to enter the system. If I don’t have enough money, then attain it. Don’t try and intimidate anybody just yet me, I don’t have enough influence yet and it’ll just end up screwing me over.
c) Buy an actually house, fake a life for about ten years, then move to another corrupt hell-hole. Start saving valuable, no, start a war found, we’re going to need it.
Step Six - Start prepping for the End. Humanity has conflict in it’s blood, it’s only a matter of time before we go nuclear. Use the funds we have to buy some land in the mountains. Use the stone masonry skills and architect skills I’ve attained over the last several decades to build a fortified castle with space age materials.
a) Create a underground vault for my mortals.
b) Install anti-air defenses, install ground defences, booby-trap my land.
c) Creating a sustainable area for farming if possible, if not work on making sustainable green houses.
d) Start preserving all of human history, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Movies, games, books, porn, all of it. It needs to be preserves. Put it all in the vault. Record all the science, by hand if neccasary.
e) Start stealing relics so that they can be preserved by me. I am definitely going Trazyn the Infinite.
f) Start recruiting people for my cause, screen each and every one.
g) Put my room at the top of the mountain with as long stair case as possible, If these fuckers want to kill me while I sleep I want them to have leg cramps while they do it. Also put booby trap my coffin room.
Step Seven - Rebuilding Society or keep playing the waiting game. If the world has torn itself apart, I will then do what I feel is the best choice. Create bio-augmented techno-knights, or not.
a) Hopefully decades of research on physics, matter, and engineering will allow me to create powered armor knights, but if not, just keep researching.
b) Make a secret castle deeper into the mountains no one else can reach without significant resources, or supernatural abilities. Start moving my lab, my vault, my copies of human history and media, plus my stored blood there.
c) When I finally succeed leave my first castle to my servants and teach them what I have to offer, leave them the blue prints for becoming techno-knights and leave. I no longer have a place among men or their future, I will merely safeguard the past and record it.
d) Go to my new castle and spend eternity studies reality and building more castles.
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Afterword: The probability of me becoming a vampire is close to zero, and the idea of my soul-less husk following is these steps is even less, but should it work it will have been worth it.
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Why the WHO Is a Corrupt, Unhealthy Organization
Story at-a-glance “TrustWHO,” a documentary film produced by Lilian Franck, reveals the clandestine influences that are controlling the World Health Organization, to the peril of public health Bill Gates is WHO’s No. 1 funder, contributing more to WHO’s $4.84 billion biennial budget than any member-state government Pharmaceutical companies previously influenced WHO’s 2009 pandemic declaration; experts later called swine flu a “false pandemic” that was driven by Big Pharma, which then cashed in on the health scare WHO has strong allegiance to China, and its investigation into COVID-19’s origin was a “fake” investigation from the start Even prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, WHO released a statement that it had been in discussions with Facebook to “ensure people can access authoritative information on vaccines and reduce the spread of inaccuracies” WHO’s history clearly illustrates its allegiance to Big Pharma and other industries, including downplaying the health effects caused by the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster and collaborating with opioid giant Purdue Given the strong and ongoing evidence that WHO is heavily conflicted and controlled by industry, its usefulness as a guardian of public health needs to be seriously reevaluated
“TrustWHO,” a documentary film produced by Lilian Franck, reveals the clandestine influences that are controlling the World Health Organization (WHO) — and that have been since the very beginning. Founded in 1948 by 61 member states whose contributions initially financed the organization, WHO was quickly infiltrated by industry.From Big Tobacco to the nuclear industry and pharmaceuticals, industry has historically dictated WHO’s global agenda and continues to do so in the present day, putting profits and power ahead of public health.1Bill Gates Is WHO’s No. 1 Funder In April 2020, Donald Trump suspended U.S. funding to WHO while the administration conducted a review into its “role in severely mismanaging and covering up the spread of the coronavirus.”2 This clearly propelled the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation into the WHO’s No.1 funder slot. Upon election, President Joe Biden reversed the Trump administration decision, restoring U.S. funding to WHO.3However, Bill Gates is still the No. 1 funder, contributing more to WHO’s $4.84 billion biennial budget4 than any member-state government. As revealed in a preview copy I received of “Vax-Unvax,”5 Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s new book, which will be released in November 2021, “Gates has used his money strategically to infect the international aid agencies with his distorted self-serving priorities. The U.S. historically has been the largest direct donor to WHO.”However, Bill Gates contributes to WHO via multiple avenues, including the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation as well as GAVI, which was founded by the Gates Foundation in partnership with WHO, the World Bank and various vaccine manufacturers. As of 2018, the cumulative contributions from the Gates Foundation and GAVI made Gates the unofficial top sponsor of the WHO, even before the Trump administration’s 2020 move to cut all his support to the organization. And in fact, Gates gives so much that Politico wrote a highly-critical article6 about his undue financial influence over the WHO’s operations in 2017, which Politico said was causing the agency to spend:“… a disproportionate amount of its resources on projects with the measurable outcomes Gates prefers … His sway has NGOs and academics worried. Some health advocates fear that because the Gates Foundation’s money comes from investments in big business, it could serve as a Trojan horse for corporate interests to undermine WHO’s role in setting standards and shaping health policies.”Plus, Gates “also routes funding to WHO through SAGE [Strategic Advisory Group of Experts] and UNICEF and Rotary International bringing his total contributions to over $1 billion,” Kennedy explains in the book, adding that these tax-deductible donations give Gates both leverage and control over international health policy, “which he largely directs to serve the profit interest of his pharma partners.”As noted in the featured film, when it was founded, WHO could decide how to distribute its contributions. Now, 70% of its budget is tied to specific projects, countries or regions, which are dictated by the funders.7 As such, Gates’ priorities are the backbone of WHO, and it wasn’t a coincidence when he said of WHO, “Our priorities, are your priorities.”8“Gates’ vaccine obsession has diverted WHO’s giving from poverty alleviation, nutrition, and clean water to make vaccine uptake its preeminent public health metric. And Gates is not afraid to throw his weight around,” according to Kennedy’s book. “… The sheer magnitude of his foundation’s financial contributions has made Bill Gates an unofficial — albeit unelected — leader of the WHO.” Pharma & WHO Cashing Checks in Previous Pandemics During the 2009 H1N1 (swine flu) pandemic, secret agreements were made between Germany, Great Britain, Italy and France with the pharmaceutical industry before the H1N1 pandemic began, which stated that they would purchase H1N1 flu vaccinations — but only if a pandemic level 6 was declared by WHO.The “TrustWHO” documentary shows how, six weeks before the pandemic was
declared, no one at WHO was worried about the virus, but the media was nonetheless exaggerating the dangers. Then, in the month leading up to the 2009 H1N1 pandemic, WHO changed the official definition of pandemic, removing the severity and high mortality criteria and leaving the definition of a pandemic as "a worldwide epidemic of a disease."9This switch in definition allowed WHO to declare swine flu a pandemic after only 144 people had died from the infection worldwide. In 2010, Dr. Wolfgang Wodarg, then head of health at the Council of Europe, accused pharmaceutical companies of influencing WHO’s pandemic declaration, calling swine flu a “false pandemic” that was driven by Big Pharma, which cashed in on the health scare.10According to Wodarg, the swine flu pandemic was “one of the greatest medicine scandals of the century.”11 In the investigation into WHO and Big Pharma’s falsification of a pandemic, an inquiry stated:12“… in order to promote their patented drugs and vaccines against flu, pharmaceutical companies influenced scientists and official agencies responsible for public health standards to alarm governments worldwide and make them squander tight health resources for inefficient vaccines strategies, and needlessly expose millions of healthy people to the risk of an unknown amount of side effects of insufficiently tested vaccines.”While governments ended up with stockpiles of vaccines they would never use, many of those who received the H1N1 swine flu vaccine suffered from adverse effects including Guillian-Barre syndrome, narcolepsy, cataplexy and other forms of brain damage.1
The Origins Cover-Up
WHO’s investigation into COVID-19’s origin was also a “fake” investigation from the start. China was allowed to hand pick the members of the WHO’s investigative team, which included Peter Daszak, Ph.D., who has close professional ties to the Wuhan Institute of Virology (WIV).
The inclusion of Dazsak on this team virtually guaranteed the dismissal of the lab-origin theory, and in February 2021, WHO cleared WIV and two other biosafety level 4 laboratories in Wuhan, China, of wrongdoing, saying these labs had nothing to do with the COVID-19 outbreak.14
Only after backlash, including an open letter signed by 26 scientists demanding a full and unrestricted forensic investigation into the pandemic’s origins,15 did WHO enter damage control mode, with Director General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus and 13 other world leaders joining the U.S. government in expressing “frustration with the level of access China granted an international mission to Wuhan.”16
A couple of noteworthy points — Gates handpicked Ghebreyesus as WHO’s director general, not because of his qualifications — Tedros has no medical degree and a background that includes accusations of human rights violations — but due to this loyalty to Gates, again according to Kennedy’s book.
Further, WHO’s allegiance to China was secured years earlier, when China secured WHO votes to ensure its candidates would become director-general. A Sunday Times investigation also revealed that WHO’s independence was severely compromised and its close ties to China allowed COVID-19 to spread in the early days of the pandemic while obfuscating the investigation into its origins. According to the Sunday Times:17
“The WHO leadership prioritized China’s economic interests over halting the spread of the virus when Covid-19 first emerged. China exerted ultimate control over the WHO investigation into the origins of Covid-19, appointing its chosen experts and negotiating a backroom deal to water down the mandate.”
WHO’s China Ties Played ‘Decisive Role’ in Pandemic
On January 28, 2020, four weeks after Taiwan had alerted WHO that a mysterious respiratory illness was spreading in China, WHO had not yet taken action and continued to praise China.
Tedros even praised China for their transparency and said the Chinese president had “shown ‘rare leadership’ and deserved ‘gratitude and respect’ for acting to contain the outbreak at the epicenter,” the Sunday Times reported. “These ‘extraordinary steps’ had prevented further spread of the virus, and this was why, he said, there were only ‘a few cases of human-to-human transmission outside China, which we are monitoring very closely.’”18
Speaking with the Sunday Times, professor Richard Ebright of Rutgers University’s Waksman Institute of Microbiology in New Jersey, said it was this close connection that ultimately steered the course of the pandemic:19
“Not only did it have a role; it has had a decisive role. It was the only motivation. There was no scientific or medical or policy justification for the stance that the WHO took in January and February 2020. That was entirely premised on maintaining satisfactory ties to the Chinese government.
So at every step of the way, the WHO promoted the position that was sought by the Chinese government … the WHO actively resisted and obstructed efforts by other nations to implement effective border controls that could have limited the spread or even contained the spread of the outbreak.
It is impossible for me to believe that the officials in Geneva, who were making those statements, believed those statements accorded with the facts that were available to them at the time the statements were made. It’s hard not to see that the direct origin of that is the support of the Chinese government for Tedros’s election as director-general …
This was a remarkably high return on [China’s] investment with the relatively small sums that were invested in supporting his election. It paid off on a grand scale for the Chinese government.”
WHO Corruption Runs Deep
Even prior to the pandemic, WHO had released a statement that it had been in discussions with Facebook to “ensure people can access authoritative information on vaccines and reduce the spread of inaccuracies.”20 At WHO’s first Global Vaccination Summit, held in Brussels in September 2019, Jason Hirsch, Facebook’s public policy manager, alluded to the censorship and media manipulation that was to come:21
“The first thing that we are doing is reducing the distribution of misinformation about vaccinations and the second thing that we are doing is increasing exposure to credible, authoritative content on vaccinations.”
Rather than putting public health first, such as pushing for safety studies into vaccination, WHO’s history clearly illustrates its allegiance to Big Pharma and other industries. WHO, for instance, has downplayed the health effects caused by the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster, stating that only 50 deaths were directly caused by the incident and “a total of up to 4,000 people could eventually die of radiation exposure” from the disaster.22
WHO signed an agreement with the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA), which is “promoting peaceful use of atomic energy,” in 1959, making it subordinate to the agency in relation to ionizing radiation.
WHO’s response to the Fukushima radiation disaster in 2011 was also criticized, with evidence of a high-level coverup.23 WHO once again downplayed the risks, stating “the predicted risks are low and no observable increases in cancer rates above baseline rates are anticipated.”24
WHO also received more than $1.6 million from opioid giant Purdue from 1999 to 2010 and used industry-supported opioid data to incorporate into its official pro-opioid guidelines. According to the Alliance of Human Research Protection, WHO’s collaboration with Purdue led to expanded opioid use and global addiction.25
Due to its acceptance of private money, a review in the Journal of Integrative Medicine & Therapy went so far as to say the corruption of WHO is the “biggest threat to the world’s public health of our time,” particularly as it relates to WHO’s drug recommendations — including its “list of essential medicines” — which it believes is biased and not reliable.26
Given the strong and ongoing evidence that WHO is heavily conflicted and controlled by industry, its usefulness as a guardian of public health needs to be seriously reevaluated.
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Livestream the summer solstice: my big survival plan for English Heritage
The charity is set to lose as much as £70 million this year, but its chairman, Princess Anne’s husband, Tim Laurence, won’t be beaten, he tells Richard Morrison of The Times.
Watching the sun rise at Stonehenge on the summer solstice, seeing those ancient stones perfectly aligned to the first rays of dawn; that has to be one of the world’s most magical heritage experiences. In any normal year more than 20,000 people, not all of them card-carrying druids, would gather to see it.
There’s nothing normal, though, about this year. On June 21 the 4,500-year-old monument will be deserted — by government decree. Instead, English Heritage (EH) will live-stream sunrise at Stonehenge. In the words of Tim Laurence, EH’s chairman, it will be a “self-isolating solstice”. And he’s doing his best to put a brave face on it. “For once the stones will be totally peaceful,” he says. “And nobody has to get up at 3am and get very cold.”
True, but if any one event symbolised how much coronavirus has wrecked Britain’s cultural calendar, this “self-isolating solstice” is surely it. That must be particularly painful for Laurence. Just turned 65, he had a highly successful career in the Royal Navy, where he ended up as a vice-admiral. And by the royal family’s eventful standards he enjoys a remarkably untroubled private life as Princess Anne’s husband. He took on EH in 2015 with instructions from government to wean it off public subsidy (which is being tapered down from £15.6 million a year in 2016 to nothing by 2023) and turn it into a self-supporting charity. And until two months ago he seemed to be steering his sprawling new ship very well.
“We’d had five terrific years,” he says. “We now have over a million members. Last year we had 6.4 million visits to our 420-odd sites. And from starting off in a negative financial position when we took the charity on, we had built up a financial reserve. So we were able to invest in some brilliant projects. We spent £3.6 million restoring Iron Bridge in Shropshire, which now looks fantastic and is secure for another century — despite all the terrible flooding on the Severn — and £5 million to build the new bridge to Tintagel Castle in Cornwall, which provides a much better visitor experience.”
Then the pandemic struck. Along with every other heritage organisation, EH closed all its staffed properties on March 19 (though 200 free-to-roam landscapes remained open). “We have to put this into perspective,” Laurence says. “Our problems are very significant, but as nothing compared to the challenge facing the health and care sectors.” Nevertheless, the result of what Laurence calls “putting everything into mothballs” has been, he admits, “a very serious loss of income”. He won’t put a figure on it, claiming with reason that the situation is too fluid, but even if all of EH’s recovery plans go well the charity seems set to lose between £50 million and £70 million this year. And if coronavirus refuses to be subdued, the outcome could be far worse.
In the context of the £200 million loss apparently run up by the National Trust in the past two months, EH’s problems might seem minor. Unlike the National Trust, however, EH doesn’t have £1.3 billion of reserves stashed away for a rainy day.
It didn’t help that lockdown started just before Easter, the precise moment when many heritage attractions traditionally open for the summer. EH has lost not only millions of paying visitors, but also the revenue they generate in its shops and tearooms. Laurence also decided to offer a three-month extension of subscriptions to the million-plus supporters, who are paying £63 a year for individual membership, or £109 a year for a family. “We wanted to thank them for staying with us,” he explains, “and to recognise that they aren’t getting as much value as normal out of their membership.” Probably a necessary public-relations move, especially in view of the reported mass exodus of members from the National Trust, but it put another big dent in EH’s revenues.
Those members haven’t been entirely deprived of EH’s services. Like many cultural organisations, EH has had a big surge in online visitors during lockdown. “Things like Victorian cookery lessons from Audley End [near Saffron Walden in Essex] or dance lessons for VE Day are getting massive attention this year,” Laurence says. So, he hopes, will an 80th-anniversary online commemoration of Dunkirk, designed to retell the story of the evacuation via a daily Twitter feed. That will provide a virtual experience for the thousands who would otherwise have visited Dover Castle, one of EH’s most popular sites, from where D-Day was masterminded.
Yet even the most vivid online experience can’t compensate for the visceral excitement of a physical visit to a dramatic historic site such as ghostly Witley Court in Worcestershire or the gaunt remains of Whitby Abbey. What if EH couldn’t reopen this year? Will there be another extension of membership? “I’d like to think that won’t happen,” Laurence replies. “We have a tentative date for reopening from government, and all our focus now is on getting things going again, rather than fearing the worst.”
That tentative date is July 4, but EH will take things slowly. “Our plan is to open a relatively small number of our staffed sites then, focusing on those that have lots of outdoor space,” Laurence says. “Stonehenge, for instance. The key is making sure that people feel safe, and we are putting in a huge amount of work — in close conjunction with other heritage bodies — to devise procedures to keep staff and visitors totally protected.”
One-way systems for visitors and PPE for staff? “Yes, and limiting visitor numbers, probably by having pre-booked time slots,” Laurence says. “I know it’s a bit of a bore for people, but I think visitors will appreciate the certainty of knowing they can get in. Then it’s about enabling social distancing to be maintained, and very high standards of hygiene wherever people have to touch things.”
Laurence won’t put a date on when a second wave of reopenings might happen. “The thing about the government’s guidance that I am most in tune with is the step-by-step approach,” he says. “We have to see what works and change it if it doesn’t.”
Is he convinced, though, that the public is ready to come back? Recent research suggests a high degree of fear about returning to any cultural activity. “Not everyone thinks the same way,” Laurence says. “What’s clear is that visiting places where there’s a degree of freedom and open air will be much more attractive than enclosed spaces at first. Of course we have a lot of enclosed spaces as well, so we have to find ways of overturning people’s reluctance to enter them.”
Even if people do flock back, however, EH is still left with an enormous black hole in its finances. The government is advancing funds that EH would be due to receive later this year, and there are discussions about bringing forward next year’s grant as well. These, however, are small sums (£8.8 million next year) compared with a possible £70 million loss. Will Laurence be asking for an additional bailout?
“It seems likely that we will be operating under [social distancing] limitations through the whole of this year and possibly next,” he says. “In that case, inevitably, our visitor income will be reduced. If we can’t get the income, we won’t be able to do all the conservation work and projects we’ve put on hold for the moment. Therefore we will have to ask government for more support.”
And an extra two or three years to be added on to EH’s planned transition from quango to independent trust? “That is also a discussion we need to have,” he says.
Could philanthropy help EH through its troubles? In the past five years Laurence has had some success at attracting private money, notably bagging a £2.5 million donation from Julia and Hans Rausing to help to build the Tintagel bridge. The trouble is that, as Laurence points out, “almost everyone who has got money to spare at the moment is thinking first about supporting health charities and care homes”. The Rausings’ recent decision to give nearly £20 million to charities tackling the pandemic is an obvious case in point. Nevertheless, if EH is to get back on track as an independent charity, it needs those big donors on board as well as the subscriptions of its million members.
Laurence spent his final navy years in charge of the Defence Estate, responsible for nearly 2,000 historically important buildings and monuments, so he was well aware of the challenges of conserving old buildings before joining EH. Even so, he admits he was a “slightly strange choice” to be its chairman. “I’m not an academic, not a historian, not an archaeologist,” he says. “Yet in some ways I represent a lot of our members. I’m a fascinated amateur. I absolutely love the history of this country. I love the sites we look after, and the story each tells.”
Tells to whom, though? The biggest challenge facing the whole heritage sector is arguably an urgent need to widen its demographic appeal. Can Laurence, in many ways the ultimate establishment insider, relate to that? Can he recognise that EH, like the National Trust, has an image problem? The perception that it’s a club for white middle-class people?
“There’s an element of truth in that,” he admits. “We are putting a great deal of effort into appealing more to — I hate using these categories — BAME [black and minority ethnic] people, who represent something like 14 per cent of the UK’s population. We have made a very strong statement by recruiting two outstanding representatives of those communities to our trustee board: David Olusoga [the historian] and Kunle Olulode [director of Voice4Change England]. They are helping our gradual transition towards being more appealing to non-white people. The important point is that we reflect not just the bricks-and-mortar history of England, but waves of immigration into this country over thousands of years. We have a story to tell to everybody.”
EH’s online output can be accessed through english-heritage.org.uk
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