#so you can thank leslie for this one

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

since I can't give you the world

Heist!Mark x reader | Words: 1,279 | Read on AO3

After a job that goes surprisingly smoothly, Heist!Mark has a gift for his partner in crime.

Despite operating in part within a larger network of criminals, it was rare for you and your heist partner to take on jobs from others, ultimately preferring to work independently. You knew you could trust one another, and freelance work meant the two of you could determine the stakes and carefully plot every point of your plan with space for improvisation if necessary, all without being accountable to anyone. It just suited you better.

On occasion, though, you would take up jobs from higher criminal organisations that could provide you with certain tech or aid in covering your tracks, or from rich clients looking for individuals to do their dirty work.

This heist had been one of those such occasions.

A wealthy tycoon had offered a generous deposit in exchange for the two of you infiltrating the penthouse belonging to the family of a rival business. Your client claimed that the owner of the company had taken some precious jewels from him and his own family's possession in their youth, and it remained mysteriously lost for years until they later had them fashioned into a jewellery set and supposedly tried to pass them off as a family heirloom. He wanted you to steal it back, saying you could take whatever else you wanted to throw any suspicion away from himself.

There was no way you could confirm this story, and usually you wouldn't choose to involve yourselves in something so personal and petty on someone else's behalf, but in addition to the incredible sum of money the client was offering just for accepting the job, this would be a fairly simple heist, with him making all the arrangements for you to get in posed as guests to a soirée held at the target location. The only catch was that you had to figure out your own escape, but with your experience it wasn't much of an issue.

The client had provided you with instructions on where to look for the items (he had refused to disclose the source of this intel, which was probably for the best).

You and Mark were able to get into the lavish event without any problems and even had fun enjoying the party before you made your move, easily slipping away from the hubbub; you made your way to distract the guard on standby so Mark could get past unnoticed.

‘Got it!’ Mark had exclaimed in a proud half-whisper, his voice coming through the earpiece communication device tucked away out of sight behind your hair. ‘And I took some other valuables n’ stuff so it looks like a more general robbery, rather than us being after something specific.’

You kept up your conversational diversion for a couple more minutes, giving Mark the chance to sneak out of the room undetected, before thanking the guard for escorting you thus far and heading on your way.

‘Ah! I think I know where to go from here, thank you ever so much for your help,’ you said in an overly grateful tone that felt far too sweet (but worked wonders). You heard Mark scoff at the other end of the line.

As the two of you slipped out and into the night, the triumph and excitement in the air between you was palpable.

‘Oooh, nice haul!’ you said gleefully, peeking into the bag of loot while Mark drove you both back to base. Meanwhile, the jewellery set for the client sat safely in its own case.

All-in-all, it had turned out to be one of your most successful heists.

Later, you have everything laid out to total up your prizes, still somewhat giddy, like kids counting up arcade tickets to see what they can win.

‘Oh! I almost forgot, I've got something for you,’ Mark says, reaching into the pocket of his suit jacket, which lies over the chair behind him.

Your head perks up with curiosity.

He holds out his hand to you, and in it is an ornate, blue pendant in a teardrop shape, hanging from a delicate gold chain. You can't say for sure what kind of gem or crystal it is, but the cut of the azure stone catches the light in such a way that you can't quite keep your eyes off it. The bail attaching the pendant has a spiralling design embedded in the metal. Overall, it's a beautiful piece.

‘Now, I know it wasn't what we were after but while I was searching the room, I saw it and I can't put my finger on why, but it made me think of you. And it was just sitting around collecting dust, y'know? I just figured, might as well give this to someone who'll actually appreciate it.’

You take the necklace gently from his hands, examining the craftsmanship between your fingers. And you think you might see why it reminded him of you. Well, not really, more like you feel it — a vague sense of familiarity about the design that you can't place, like something from a dream or long-forgotten memory.

‘Yeah,’ he says with a grin. ‘Oh— of course, if you'd rather pool it in with the rest of the loot and get your money's worth instead, that's totally fine. I won't mind, I just thought you deserve to have something for yourself.’

‘Mark… Did you steal this, for me?’

He says it casually, but the whole notion leaves you feeling incredibly touched.

‘Mark. If you got this especially for me I'm not gonna sell it. This is really thoughtful, I love it.’

‘Aw, no problem, buddy. It's nothing.’

‘No, it's not nothing. Thank you. Really.’

‘Well… I'm glad you like it.’ He smiles and you hold each other's gaze for a moment. ‘Oh — here, let me- ’

He takes the necklace from you and after a second you realise he intends to help you put it on.

He leans closer, unclasping the chain carefully.

‘So, what's the occasion?’ you ask, conscious of how his hands brush against your skin as he moves them to close the clasp behind your neck.

‘Do I need a reason to give my friend a gift?’

‘... I guess not.’

He lingers in your space a bit longer than necessary, hands just barely resting at the curve where your neck meets your shoulders.

And maybe it's the tenderness and unspoken intimacy of this physical act, or that you're used to taking and not so much receiving, or the fact that he thought to keep this for you at all, but for whatever reason, your heart feels incredibly full.

‘It suits you.’

After that day, you wear your new accessory all the time when you're home.

You refuse to wear it out, even if you're simply going to meet with friends or the two of you are on a standard grocery run, out of fear that it'll get lost or damaged or, ironically, stolen.

Regardless, Mark can tell how much it means to you by the way he'll notice it hanging over your collar bones when you groggily traipse over to the kitchen for breakfast every morning, or how it is still around your neck when you fall asleep slumped against him in your living room by the end of the day. And whenever anyone comes over to visit, you wear it proudly, and he feels himself swell with happiness and pride in turn when your friends compliment it and you mention how ‘Mark gave it to me’.

You truly do love your gift, but what you cherish far more is the care behind the gesture, and the fact that he looks pleased whenever you wear it.

You'll have to find some way to return the favour.

[ruvviks]

we would sell anything just to buy who we're not // we kill our way to heaven

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

[unspecifiedfigure]

come on and cry me a river, i cried a river over you

[incorrectbatfam]

What does Tim say when people ask about his spleen?

Damian: I am updating my blackmail records. Tell me what happened to your spleen in its full hilarity.

Tim: I donated it to a sickly orphan.

Damian: You win this round.

———————

Tim: I have to be careful, I lost my spleen.

Carrie: How?

Tim: Aliens.

———————

Tim: I'm zero percent spleen and fifty-nine percent pizza sauce.

Helena: Zero percent spleen?

Tim: Yep. On the bright side, they named a disease after me.

———————

Luke: I've designed nanotech vitals trackers to be implanted on our spleens.

Tim: Oh, no thanks. I don't have one.

Luke: You don't have a spleen?

Tim: It wasn't paying rent so I evicted it. Lazy freeloader.

———————

Barbara: Why does your chart say you're missing a spleen?

Tim: I made a deal with the devil but I had a discount code so instead of my soul I just needed to sell a non-essential organ.

———————

Steph: What happened to your spleen? Are you okay?

Tim: I'm fine. It's taking an extended gap year.

———————

Harper: So... can I ask about your spleen?

Tim: Yeah, don't worry. I was part of a failed science experiment.

Cullen: What'd they do?

Tim: They injected me with a serum that was supposed to make me indestructible. But instead all I got were a spleen removal and chronic insomnia. And a free T-shirt.

Cullen:

Harper:

Cullen: Was it a nice shirt?

———————

Dick: What do you mean you don't have a spleen?!?

Tim: It was confiscated by airport security.

———————

Tim: Happy Pride! My spleen finally came out of the closet. And by closet I mean my body.

Kate: Diversity win.

———————

Tim and Jason: *arguing*

Jason: At least I still have my spleen!

Tim: It's genetic!

Jason: Sucks to be you.

Tim: We have the same dad. It could happen to you too.

Jason, scoffing: Whatever.

Jason, internally: Oh shit, he's right. I need to see Leslie.

———————

Tim and Bette: *sparring*

Bette: *hits Tim*

Tim: Ow. Time out. That was my spleenhole.

Bette: ...How?

Tim: It took a trip to the Titanic in a soup can with a Playstation controller.

———————

Duke: Since when did you have that scar?

Tim: Since losing my spleen last year.

Duke: How do you lose a spleen?

Tim: You forget to cherish it.

———————

Cass: ?

Tim: I digested it.

———————

Selina: You know I have to tell Bruce about this.

Tim: Okay, fine.

Tim: I had to get it removed as a kid after falling into a well of bats.

———————

Bruce: Tell me what happened to your spleen so Alfred and Leslie can give you the proper treatment.

Tim: What do you mean?

Bruce: Everyone's been telling me you don't have it.

Tim: Well, I do, so...

Bruce: Alright, I'll have a talk with them about bad taste pranks.

———————

Alfred: You can't keep the truth from me, Master Tim.

Tim: Assassins stole it.

Alfred: I wasn't born yesterday. Now what really happened?

Tim: ...

[hotvintagepoll]

Congrats to the ultimate winner of the Hot & Vintage Movie Men Tournament, Mr. Toshiro Mifune! May he live happily and well where the sun always shines, enjoying the glories of a battle hard fought.

A loving farewell to all of our previous contestants, who are now banished to the shadow realm and all its dark joys and whispered horrors—I hear there's a picnic on the village green today. If you want to remember the fallen heroes, you can find them all beneath the cut.

What happens next? I'll be taking a break of two weeks to rest from this and prep for the Hot & Vintage Ladies Tournament. I'll still be around but only minimally, posting a few last odes to the hot men before transitioning into a little early ladies content, just like I did with this last tournament. The submission form for the Hot & Vintage Ladies tournament will remain up for one more week (closing February 21st), so get your submissions in for that asap! Once the form closes, there will be one more week of break. The first round of the Hot & Vintage Ladies Tournament will be posted on February 29th, as Leap Year Day seems like a fitting allusion to leaping into these ladies' arms.

Thanks for being here! Enjoy the two weeks off, and send me some great propaganda.

In order of the last round they survived—

ROUND ONE HOTTIES:

Richard Burton

Tony Curtis

Red Skelton

Keir Dullea

Jack Lemmon

Kirk Douglas

Marcello Mastroianni

Jean-Pierre Cassel

Robert Wagner

James Garner

James Coburn

Rex Harrison

George Chakiris

Dean Martin

Sean Connery

Tab Hunter

Howard Keel

James Mason

Steve McQueen

George Peppard

Elvis Presley

Rudolph Valentino

Joseph Schildkraut

Ray Milland

Claude Rains

John Wayne

William Holden

Douglas Fairbanks Sr.

Harold Lloyd

Charlie Chaplin

John Gilbert

Ramon Novarro

Slim Thompson

John Barrymore

Edward G. Robinson

William Powell

Leslie Howard

Peter Lawford

Mel Ferrer

Joseph Cotten

Keye Luke

Ivan Mosjoukine

Spencer Tracy

Felix Bressart

Ronald Reagan (here to be dunked on)

Peter Lorre

Bob Hope

Paul Muni

Cornel Wilde

John Garfield

Cantinflas

Henry Fonda

Robert Mitchum

Van Johnson

José Ferrer

Robert Preston

Jack Benny

Fredric March

Gene Autry

Alec Guinness

Fayard Nicholas

Ray Bolger

Orson Welles

Mickey Rooney

Glenn Ford

James Cagney

ROUND TWO SWOONERS:

Dick Van Dyke

James Edwards

Sammy Davis Jr.

Alain Delon

Peter O'Toole

Robert Redford

Charlton Heston

Cesar Romero

Noble Johnson

Lex Barker

David Niven

Robert Earl Jones

Turhan Bey

Bela Lugosi

Donald O'Connor

Carman Newsome

Oscar Micheaux

Benson Fong

Clint Eastwood

Sabu Dastagir

Rex Ingram

Burt Lancaster

Paul Newman

Montgomery Clift

Fred Astaire

Boris Karloff

Gilbert Roland

Peter Cushing

Frank Sinatra

Harold Nicholas

Guy Madison

Danny Kaye

John Carradine

Ricardo Montalbán

Bing Crosby

ROUND THREE SMOKESHOWS:

Marlon Brando

Anthony Perkins

Michael Redgrave

Gary Cooper

Conrad Veidt

Ronald Colman

Rock Hudson

Basil Rathbone

Laurence Olivier

Christopher Plummer

Johnny Weismuller

Clark Gable

Fernando Lamas

Errol Flynn

Tyrone Power

Humphrey Bogart

ROUND 4 STUNGUNS:

James Dean

Cary Grant

Gregory Peck

Sessue Hayakawa

Harry Belafonte

James Stewart

Gene Kelly

Peter Falk

QUARTERFINALIST VOLCANIC TOWERS OF LUST:

Jeremy Brett

Vincent Price

James Shigeta

Buster Keaton

SEMIFINALIST SUPERMEN:

Omar Sharif

Paul Robeson

FINALIST FANTASIES:

Sidney Poitier

Toshiro Mifune

and ok, sure, here's the shadow-bracket-style winner's portrait of Toshiro Mifune.

[ew-selfish-art]

Dp x Dc AU: Jazz Fenton, after years of fixing her brother’s injuries, becomes a Doctor with an inclination towards behavioral health and psychology- In order to make the difference she wants to see in the world she joins Dr. Leslie Thompkin’s practice. 

Jazz Fenton, M.D. has spent years of her life doing research, doing the hard work and the emotional labor, and finally, finally, she’s joining a practice she can feel 100% confident in. She’s goddamn good doctor and she wants to make the biggest impact that she can. 

Dr. Thompkins (who insists that she call her Leslie as they’re colleagues now), is a kind woman, sharp as a tack and keeps her practice open at odd hours to help the most unfortunate. It took some time for them to bond and trust to be built, but now Jazz is being allotted a few night shifts here and there. 

It’s incredible. Jazz gets to spend time with the kids who come in and really talk to them (in addition to getting them antibiotics, heating pads and pokemon themed bandaids) to help equip them with a few coping skills. Her passion for psychology never disappeared after all, but the expansive knowledge of how to heal the human body has made her find a sense of fulfillment like no other.

Having proven herself and worn Leslie down, Jazz now takes up about 1/3 of all the night shifts in the month. She’s hoping to get to 50/50 by the end of the year but she’s content with what she has. Danny keeps odd hours anyway so calling him after work on her walk home can happen any time of day and he will always answer enthusiastically. 

It’s a particularly busy night before he comes in. The Red Hood. 

He was known for being an ally to Leslie, despite being on contentious terms with the Bats, but Jazz had never asked directly. Never one to turn away a patient with bullet hole wounds, she hops into action to get his wounds cleaned, sewed up and gauze wrapped. She’s handing him a sheet (an Infographic! Dani made it with her! Graphic design is her passion!) on how to care for his wounds when he first seems to recognize that she’s not Leslie. 

“No, Of course not. I’m Dr. Fenton. I can’t blame you for not remembering but I did introduce myself as you bled in the entry way. You’re Red Hood, right?” 

“Hm. Didn’t realize the practice was expanding. Where can I find-” He grumbles before pushing her hand aside from where she had still been supporting his shoulder.

“Hold on there, mister. You’re going home, you’re following this infographic and you’re going to get some sleep.” 

“Lady you don’t know-” His voice modulated ton came across antagonistically. As if he was trying to intimidate her. Ha, Jazz rolls her eyes at the inclination.

“Who I’m talking to? Who I’m dealing with? You’re hilarious. I can eat you vigilante’s hero complexes for breakfast. Tell me who I’m calling to pick you up and then you can say thank you.” Jazz snaps at him. It really had been a long night but his whole dialogue thus far is making her a bit batty. 

“Oh really Doc? You know Leslie’s tough shit, and from what I can tell you’ve got nothing on her-” 

“Trying to make me feel insufficient when I just saved your life? That’s cute. I’m sure a lifetime of abandonment by both of your parental figures gave you that. I’m also sure that you inherited this desire to prove you’re not going to be dependent on anyone who wants to help from whoever got you dressing up in tights to fight crime in the first place. Again, I’d love to talk at length about how predictable you-” 

“Bwah- wait- I’m Predictable? You’re probably some nepobaby who had parents who told her she could have the world-” But Jazz cuts him off with hysterical laughter- he couldn’t be further from the truth. Her parents loved her, but nepotism? With what, the ghosts? If anything she got that from Danny, but he doesn’t need to know about her ghostly titles. 

“You’re just some guy who came back from the dead and made his trauma everyone else’s issue. So shut it. And tell me how I’m getting you home from this clinic.” She seethes though her voice stays devastatingly level with each word. 

Speechless for a moment, he eventually relents to Jazz that he’s already called for help on the comms but it will be hours before they can come for a pick up. The sun had already come up and the night had been over for most of them before Hood had walked into trouble. She groans and the realizes the time for herself and the empty clinic around them.

“Fine. My shift just ended anyway. I’ll get you home in one piece and I swear to all the ancients that you’d better follow the directions on the infographic.” 

And that’s how Jazz ended up calling her brother while supporting the weight of a grown ass man (who no longer wanted to talk to her) on her walk home. 

The next time Red Hood appears in her clinic, he’s brought a dozen roses in addition to the cut on his neck that definitely needs to be pressurized like ASAP. Did he stop for the flowers on his way to the clinic? He’s going to pass out from blood loss! She doesn’t even like roses!

[sanguineterrain]

okay i've had this thought brewing for a while and i think you're the only writer who would do it justice!

reader meets jason again post-lazarus pit and he's amazed by how different reader is look-wise. reader was a teenager the last time they saw jason and now as an adult they've gotten a more "adult" body. reader is curvier, fleshier, no longer as lean as they were as a teen and is a bit self conscious about their body. but it drives jason wild to see his old crush all grown up into this mature body, hell he's changed a lot too. but yeah i feel like jason would be so body positive and full of praise 🩷

decided to combine this with a request i got for this prompt: 8) we share the bed because this is what we’ve done since we were kids, regardless of the adult implications now. i so agree with you anon, i think jason would be simultaneously body positive and absolutely FERAL for his old/current crush ;)

jason todd x gn!plus-sized!reader. reader used to work with the bats and is best friends with jayjay. reader is insecure and speaks poorly about their body. jason does NOT like that and desires you carnally! wahoo! suggestive content but no outright smut.

****

You haven't been in Jason's room in five years.

Alfred's kept it pretty much the same. Same books on the shelves, same Gotham Knights sweatshirt Dick gave Jason for his birthday. The curtains are the same shade of maroon, and the left one has a tear from when you played with a batarang. Jason had covered for you and was grounded for a week.

You flip through a dog-eared copy of The Three Musketeers. A few of the pages have underlining in pencil. You trace them with your finger.

The door creaks open. You look up.

Jason freezes in the threshold. His wrist is bandaged and you can see stitches on his forehead. You frown.

"Hey." You set down the book and go to him, offering your shoulder for him to lean on. "You okay?"

Jason sighs, ignoring your shoulder. "Who called you?"

"What d'you mean? We're psychically linked, Jay-Jay. I sensed that there was trouble afoot in Gotham City."

"Uh-huh. That didn't work when you tried to convince the old man I needed a puppy because you psychically divined that it knew me in a previous life."

"You and that Terrier were soulmates and I'll hear nothing of the contrary."

You take Jason's arm, despite his protests that he can make it two feet to the bed. He lays down, trying to hide how his arm twinges in pain. You frown and slip in beside him.

Jason's a lot bigger than he was the last time you shared a bed. Well. You both are. You roll over so you're facing him, squished against his side. You pull your leg up, suddenly self-conscious about everything Jason might be able to see.

Jason is warm. He's warm and big and solid and good God, you've missed him.

Your best friend is also fucking gorgeous and you really want to kiss him, but, uh. Ignoring that. You're very practiced at ignoring the urge to kiss Jason.

"Thanks for comin'."

The light is still on, casting a soft orange glow across Jason's features. He glances at you, lashes casting shadows on his cheeks. You can count all the freckles on his nose, this close.

"I'll always come when you call, Jay," you say. "Well, when Dickie calls. Said you got a concussion."

He turns his head, sighing at the ceiling. "'S not a big deal. Mild concussion. Leslie said I'll be fine in a week, but we all know that's code for two days."

"Yeah, I don't think so. You bats really are birds of a feather."

"How dare you. 'M nothing like those wackos."

"Sure, buddy. Keep lying to yourself. You brought me in all those years ago for a little normalcy."

"My mistake," Jason says.

He gets thwacked with a pillow for that. It fluffs his curls. He grins at you.

You tuck in closer, resting your chin on his shoulder. Jason turns his head so his cheek rests on the top of your head.

"You can have the bed," he says.

"Don't be a silly goose."

"'M gonna go home anyway."

You scoff. "Not like this, you're not."

"Been worse for wear."

You roll your eyes. "How are you gonna ride your bike with a hurt wrist and a concussion, genius?"

"Please, babe. The real question is how will I sneak past Alfred?"

"I'm a babe, now?"

Jason half-smiles. "Always were."

"Liar. Can you imagine me in a Batsuit again? Exactly, you can't. I simply don't have the bod for it."

"Hey." Jason reaches down and gently pinches your thigh. "Why ya doin' that?"

"Doing what?"

"Talkin' bad about yourself. Don't do that. 'Sides, it ain't true."

"Jaybird." You level him with a look. "Be serious. I know you're my best friend and you have to say that, but c'mon. I've seen the hotties you work with. Hell, I've seen Bruce and Dickie."

Jason's face twists in disgust. "Do not call my dad and brother hot."

"Okay, fine. I've seen you."

His brows rise. "What?"

"What, what?"

"Are you... callin' me..."

You snort. "Duh. Have you seen yourself? You've always been cute, Jason. If you didn't have the demeanor of a honey badger, you'd be fending off marriage proposals left and right from the Gotham public. You've always been the prettier one of us, Jay-Jay."

Jason's quiet. You keep going.

"Anyway, neon's never been my color, and it seems like that's a pretty immovable requirement these days. Like, I get Clark's trying to be seen from space but he doesn't get bloated. And the Spandex? Goodness gracious—"

"Y'really see yourself like that?"

Jason's staring at you with a wrinkled brow, mouth set.

"Like what?"

"Like you're not pretty? Like I'm too good for ya?"

You prop your head up on your arm. "You've always been too good for me, Jason Todd."

"That's just not true. And you're fuckin' beautiful, so stop sayin' that shit."

You blink. "Jay, c'mon—"

"No. It's true, so stop. You're the most beautiful person I've ever had the pleasure to know, and if anybody's gettin' proposed to, it's you."

"Jason." Your face is on fire. Why did you open your mouth? "Stop. It's fine. So I'm different; my body's changed and shit. I'm not an athletic vigilante anymore. My thighs have, like, their own zip code. It's my own fault. I didn't keep up the training and whaa—!"

In one fluid motion, Jason's rolled you onto him. Your legs straddle his waist. You catch yourself on his shoulders, then begin to scramble off, burning with embarrassment.

"Sorry, I'm heavy, you're injured—" you babble, picking up your leg.

"Will you quit?" Jason keeps your leg exactly where it is, tenderly stroking your ankle with his thumb. "Actin' like I'm made of whipped cream."

"You're concussed."

"Mildly."

"Stop, Jason. Please. You don't have to do this to-to prove a point. I get it, I won't talk bad about myself."

Bit hypocritical, considering some of the stuff you know for a fact Jason believes about himself.

But this is humiliating, your extremely attractive, crime-fighting best friend pretending that you haven't totally let yourself go all to bolster your ego.

"Nah, I don't think you get it," Jason says conversationally. His hand creeps under your shirt. You squirm. "I really, really don't think you get how fuckin' gone I am for ya."

"Huh?"

"Oh, yeah. Now, that's my fault, never sayin' anything. I was being cowardly. So lemme make it clear for ya, sweetheart."

His hand leaves your ankle and pulls your face to his. And then Jason kisses you.

"You're concussed," you whimper against his mouth. "Jason, you're—"

Jason laughs, low and sweet. He strokes the side of your face. "I could have amnesia and I wouldn't forget the fact that I've been in love with my best friend since I was fourteen."

"Are you sure you don't want me to move? I can—"

"No way. Y'know how long I've wanted you on me? Shit, I sound like a creep, thinking 'bout you like that, but—"

Jason rolls you both onto your sides. He hefts your leg over his, so you're slotted between each other. Then he kisses your neck, mouth hot and desperate. You gasp, belly swooping.

How long have you wanted this? How long did you believe you'd never feel this way about another person after Jason?

"I can promise you," Jason says, breathing hard against your skin. "You're a knockout. You knock me out. And I'll knock out anyone who says otherwise."

You huff and get a little braver, kissing Jason and returning him onto his back. He grins, sharp and hungry. He wants you. There's no doubt.

"I still think you're concussed," you murmur, letting him feel up your shirt. "But lucky for you, I have the utmost sympathy for poor, bedridden bats."

Jason hums, grunting when your teeth scrape his ear. "Oh, I've always known I was the lucky one, having you."

[libraford]

(I have permission to share this.)

Text- from Walking Distance Brewing Company

Happy Pride month! We are here another year to celebrate Pride with you! Thank you for your love and support through a difficult year of slander and harassment. Your support has not just kept us afloat but has made us thrive! Our inclusive community isn’t here just for Pride - we’re here all year. It's not always easy being inclusive in town. The library, community organizations, and yes, even Walking Distance have been targets. In this post, we're going to discuss the attacks against the library and against us. Last June, the library had a pride book display [1]. On July 3rd, (now ex) city councilmember Deb Groat wrote an email to the library at the request of the Union Faith Family Coalition [2]. In this email, she wrote: “I am deeply offended by explicitly sexual material on display in the children’s section of our library. Shame on you and your staff for pandering to any social agenda in displaying reading material to children.” [3] Later on in the email she wrote: “The library may well want to pass a levy in the future, or have input in a community TIF.” [3] On November 27, 2023 - Deb Groat was joined by city councilmember Mark Reams in voting for a TIF that would divert money away from the library for 30 years. Luckily, the extension did not pass. [4] According to Union County Faith Family Coalition’s founder, Mark Reams is a member. [2] Deb Groat and Mark Reams vote together to divert money from the library. Let’s move on to us. In June 2023, we had a drag show. On July 8th, Mark Reams’ wife, Leslie Reams posted on Facebook calling Walking Distance “Little Epstein Island” [5] joining in the same rhetoric spread by the Union County Faith Family Coalition, who nicknamed us, ���Walking Distance Grooming Co.” Additionally, on April 15th, 2024 - while on-shift at her job, Leslie Reams called us a “den of depravity bar [that] preys on children,” and called our bartenders and customers, “pedophiles” and “drunks.” Let’s be clear. Leslie Reams, the members of the Union County Faith Family Coalition, and their followers have never called law enforcement (to our knowledge) - something we would expect and want to happen if pedophilia was happening. Law enforcement has never been called, we suspect that even they know that it’s not true. We have heard many rumors, as bad as, “Walking Distance is full of pedophiles” to more innocuous rumors that hurt our reputation. Our guess is that the same people who don’t believe we’re pedophiles, but want to demonize queerness, also know their audience and are able to tone it back to do the damage they can. We saw sales dips directly following Leslie Reams’ statements. We have heard city council members echoing similar rumors. Last summer, we had around 10 citations against the owner’s house and the business from the city and council - none of these citations asked us to remedy anything (except for the one about mowing…oops), and in fact there were instances when the local officials said that we were doing everything right, but they are only reaching out to us because they had so many calls. The year prior, Walking Distance and the owner's house had 0 citations. We’ll never know exactly how much business we lost due to the slander against us. We do know, we lost a lot. Similarly, we’ll never know exactly how much the support of our community has meant. We do know, it meant a whole lot. The support has kept us afloat, and with time, it's made us thrive. We know that we have survived to see another June. And we are ready to celebrate it, in the face of the hate. There would be no pride with no hate. Looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday for drag BINGO; Saturday for drag brunch; and also visit us on Saturday during Marysville Pride. We have more Pride events this week and month, keep your eyes peeled! And even if it's not a pride related event, we are always inclusive. Oh, and there's a city council meeting next Monday, June 10th at 7PM.

[/text]

Here's some photos of the extremely offensive library display:

They haven't given a call to action yet.

So anyways, that's what's happening in a nearby town. Marysville's pride event is this weekend and if you'd like to show up for local queers its going to be a very fun time.

I'm thinking of grabbing some of my local gays and giving them our patronage, of course. Its somewhat unrealistic to ask strangers on the internet to do take a hike all the way to Ohio for drag bingo.

So I think I would just like to call attention to it- if this is happening in our area, its probably happening in yours too. If you were thinking of attending a drag show but were on the fence about it, I think you should. They're a fun time.

Being involved in the queer community can be as simple as attending a drag show. Or going to a silly queer-focused event. Or supporting a queer-owned business. Every little bit of support for your queer community counts!

[chainmail-butch]

hi I would actually be super interested in your thoughts on in what ways butch=/=masc!! I've recently been toying more with the butch label but I'm a little lost I feel. I would really appreciate it, but no pressure! thanks for your awesome blog

Okay, so I've been thinking about this ask for months.

The easiest and simplest answer is that masc is an adjective and Butch is a noun. You can identify any stranger on the street as masc, but Butch only comes with self-identification. Butch is a non-binary label that relies purely on self-identification.

That's the most widely applicable answer.

If you've studied Butch literature then you know that there are generally 4 kinds of Butches; Cis Butches, Transmasc Butches, Nonbinary Butches, and Transfem Butches. There's also the secret 5th Category of Gay Man Butches but I'm not gonna cover them.

Butch is a gender all on its own, and it is almost completely self defined. Take, for example, the life of Leslie Feinberg. She started as a cis butch and then he transitioned to a transmasc butch. Utimately, zie settled on being non-binary. Hir gender, presentation, and self understanding radically changed over the course of hir life, but zie remained butch because zie said zie was.

That's the important part.

I think one of the issues that plagues (amateur) academic studies of Butchness is the gender binary. I've seen Butch get defined as both 'Masculine Femininity' and 'Feminine Masculinity.' In my opinion, Butch is Butch and its closest cousin is masculinity.

This answer is useless to baby butches. If you're a baby and looking for answers, hit the books or the bars or the home depot. If you can't find an elder to talk to, read. Once you've read, do what feels right to you. No two butches are the same. And butchness is not tied to your sexuality. There are lesbian butches, ace butches, bisexual butches, and straight butches. It doesn't matter who you fuck, it matters who you are.

In conclusion, you know masc when you see it and if you ask someone nicely you'll find out whether they are butch or not.

[bet-on-me-13]

Dr's Assistant Danny

So, Danny has to run away from Amity after deciding to tell his parents about his powers. They acted like they accepted him, but when his back was turned they shot him with one of their Inventions and dragged him into the Lab for Study.

They think he's been taken over by a Ghost and decide to be "Surgeons" by opening him up and removing the Ghost by hand. Throughout all of this, they are just telling Danny that they are qualified doctors and can definitely do this perfectly. But they don't even use Anesthesia, and don't know the first thing about Surgery. But their delusions of being perfect Doctors have taken a hold of them, and they can't even comprehend the idea that they are doing it wrong.

After a week of "Surgeries", they mess up and forget to lock his Cell, and Danny manages to escape, hopping on a Bus headed to New Jersey.

He ends up in Gotham, hiding in an Alley to avoid Civilians and to bandage himself up. Thankfully his parents stitched him up fairly well after the last session, but he is still really hurt. And the cuffs restricting his powers don't help either.

He passes out in the Alley and wakes up in a Doctors Office. He panics, thinking that his parents found him and took him back to the Lab. Thankfully, the resident Dr rushes in to calm him down.

It's Dr Leslie Thompkins, and she really wants her patient to stop struggling thank you very much.

She manages to calm him down, and explains that she found him in the Alley, but that he was seriously injured. He was out for 4 days.

He explains what he can, that he told his parents that he had powers and that they didn't take it well. Not the Ghost thing, but he does explain that his parents could charitably be referred to as "Mad Scientists", and Dr Thompkins figures it out from there.

Since he doesn't have a place to stay, she let's him stay at her place. It's not much, but it's enough for 2 people.

After a few days, he starts helping out in the Clinic as a way to repay her.

After a few weeks, he starts taking on the bigger jobs and starts learning about medical aid

A few months in, and both Danny and Leslie realize that he has basically become her Personal Assistant. So she trains him in the legitimate way, teaching him all she can about being a Doctor and basically everything he would have learned in Medical School, which really helps with his trauma over the whole "constant unethical surgery from people who claimed to be licensed professionals" thing.

He still has those Restraining Cuffs on, they could never figure out how to take them off and they were basically unbreakable, but he was fine on his own.

And a note to add to this is that all of this is taking place in the early Years of Batman, like Years 1 and 2. So it's certainly a shock when Danny walks in for work and sees The Batman lying on a Cot.

Over the many following years, Danny gets used to his life in Gotham. He managed to contact Jazz, and his friends as well, even if they needed to keep it very secret for fear of his parents finding out.

He manages to get on friendly terms with most of the Bat Family from their many, many, many visits to the Clinic.

He never does reveal his past to them, he knows that they would never not poke their noses into it, so he tried to keep it on the down low around them. He even hid his Cuffs all these years. (He doesn't want to attract his parents attention)

But that all changed one day.

He messes up. He accidently calls Jazz outside of their scheduled safe times and his parents just so happen to be visiting her new house at the time. They pick up the call for her, and Danny, not knowing it's not Jazz on the other end, says "Hey Jazz, it's Danny. Just wanted to let you know that I'll he busy with work for a while so I won't be able to call as often".

When he gets no response, he gets concerned and asks "Jazz? You there?"

His parents immediately begin to trace the Call, but before they can get an exact location Danny wises up and hangs up. Buts it's too late, his Parents know he's in Gotham now, even if they don't know exactly where.

Danny doesn't know that they tracked him down though, but he quickly figures it out when Red Hood is rushed into the Clinic a week later after being attacked by "A big guy in an orange jumpsuit with a laser gun", who was joined by "A tiny lady in a blue jumpsuit with a baseball bat"

The Drs Fenton reached Gotham and immediately began tracking any Ecto-Signatures they could find. And Red Hood just so happened to be the closest one.

Now Danny has to find a way to deal with his parents without his powers. Since the Anti-Ecto Laws are still in effect, they aren't technically doing anything Illegal, and their Government Contracts would protect them either way.

He needs to figure out how to get rid of them. Due to the high concentration of Ectoplasm in Gotham, there are many unknowing Liminals in the City. His parents could end up attacking many innocent Civilains in search for him, maybe even subjecting them to the same things he was subjected to.

The only way he can think to do that is to give himself up.

Of course he knows Dr Leslie would disagree, but before she can stop him he sneaks out in the middle of the night, leaving a note thanking her for all that she had done for him over the years. It explains that the people who attacked Red Hood are his infamous Parents, and that they are searching for him. They could end up hurting alot of people if they stay, so he needs to nip this in the bud and is going to turn himself in to them.

She immediately takes the note to Batman.

She still vividly remembers the state she found Danny in. He still has the V-Shaped Scar on his chest from his experiences with his parents, and she'll be damned if she' going to let that happen to him again. (She kind of adopted him as her son a while ago)

She tells them everything. How she found him in the Alley, his injuries, how she nursed him back to health, his story about Meta-Hating Mad Scientist Parents, the unbreakable Cuffs he always hid, all of it.

Now it's a race to find Danny and save him from his Parents again.

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: While at a party with friends, you run into your old 'situationship' and things take a turn for the.. good.. or bad? Find out in this weeks one shot!

Inspired by Zayn - Like I Would | not a request

Summary: SMUT18+, strong language, mentions of smoking weed, alcohol consumption, cheating on partner (which you should NEVER do), secret and rough unprotected sex, oral (f rec), hair pulling, biting, scratching, teasing, just filth

Word count: 5.7 | not edited

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

"Have fun tonight." Your boyfriend, Theo, smiles, "Call me if you need a ride home."

You lean of the window, pecking his lips with yours, "I will, thank you." You smile and sit back, waving to him at your friend, Kya, backs out of the driveway.

"So." She says with a smirk as she starts to drive, "Seems to be going well, don't you think?"

You shrug, a light blush growing on your cheeks, "You can say that." You shrug, "I mean, these last few months, they've been great, but at the same ti-"

"Don't do that." She cuts you off as she shakes her head.

You look at her confused, "Don't do what?"

"Don't do what you always do. Don't look for things to escape. Theo is a great guy.." she lays her hand over her mouth, muffling her words, "Better than the last."

You laugh as you catch what she says, "Yeah, let's not talk about him." You roll your eyes, trying not to think about him, "Theo is a great guy."

"That - whatever that was.." she blows air, "Situationship.. was an absolute disaster." She tills her eyes, "If I see him, I might just punch him."

"Please. It might knock some common sense into him." You shake your head slightly, "He was just an asshole."

But he wasn't a total asshole the whole time.

You felt like there could have been more, should have been more, but he didn't want labels. He didn't want to 'settle down' as he said.

He treated you like a queen, but only when it was just the two of you.

When you confessed that you were catching feelings, mainly to try and save your feelings, which utterly failed in the end, he turned into someone you never thought he would be.

A ghost, figuratively that is.

You didn't hear from him for weeks after, but conveniently right when word got out that you were seeing Theo, you got a text from him, stating a single, ‘Hey’.

But you ignored it.

You had a good thing with Theo, but at the same time, you weren't feeling the passion, the heat, like you were with him.

You knew it was wrong, but you couldn't pinpoint the exact reason as to why you were suddenly missing him, either.

Maybe because what you and him had was secret?

Maybe because it was mainly about sex, and he was really, really good at it?

Who knows, but you needed to get him off of your mind as soon as possible, especially because you want things to progress with Theo.

"Do you think he'll be here tonight?" You look over at Kya and she shrugs, "Doubt it. He's probably leading on some other bimbo-" she looks at you, quickly following up, "Not that you were or are a bimbo, I just-"

You hold your hand up, "I understand, Ky." You laugh slightly, "But I was for falling for him. I should have known."

"We live and we learn." She parks the car, "Now let's go have some fun." She raises her brows as she pulls the keys from the ignition.

You follow her in through the gate, eyes scanning over the slow growing party.

You smile as you see some of your friends, waving as you dance next to them as you move past to make your way into the house.

"You made it!" Leslie squeals as she runs up to you and Kya, "I'm so glad you're here!"

"Thanks for the invite! We love your parties." You smile and look around. She laughs, "Thanks. I love throwing them."

"I'm going to go get a drink, y/n. You coming?" Kya taps your arm and you look at her, "Yes, please."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

A few drinks and bit of unwinding later, you're sat on the small couch in the corner with a few friends around you.

"Y/n." Leslie nudges your knee from the floor, "How's Theo?" She smirks and the others lean in to listen.

You smile, "We're good. He’s good.." You take a sip of your drink, almost spitting it back into your cup when you see him walk through the door.

"Shit." You whisper to yourself and quickly look around, composing yourself as fast as you can, "Yeah, he's taking me to dinner on Thursday for our five month anniversary."

"That's so sweet." Leslie smiles and lets out a sigh, "I remember when Chase and I first got together, that honeymoon phase never goes away when you're in love with someone you truly love being around everyday."

You kind of ignore them talking. Your focus was mainly on him. You watch as he walks over to the drink area with his friends, smiling that gorgeous smile and laughing that perfect laugh.

He was such a beautiful work of art, and knowing that you couldn't have it actually kind of hurt even more.

You snap back into reality, reminding yourself that you have Theo, and you really liked Theo.

Not as much as him - stop it.

You shake your head, looking over at Kya to try and figure out what they're talking about.

"Isn't that right, y/n?" Kya asks and you blink, "Sorry." You laugh, "What are we talking about?"

"Someone is feeling the alcohol already." She jokes with a laugh, "We were talking about that show that you recommended us. We all love it so far."

"Good Girls? Oh yes. That show is amazing. I'm sad they aren't coming out with another season, they left it with a cliffhanger and I'm still so mad about it." You laugh, taking a sip from your cup.

You finish your drink and rest your arms in your lap, "I'm going to get a drink, anyone else need one?"

"Yeah get me one please." Kya hands you her empty cup and you nod, "What were you drinking?"

"Just get me whatever you're drinking."

You nod and get up, walking over to the drink section. You pour in some liquor, more in your cup than Kya's, before adding some juice.

"Well, well, well."

You close your eyes, taking a quiet deep breath as you set the jug down onto the counter, "What do you want, Colby."

You stay facing away from him, knowing that if you look into his eyes, it'll all go downhill from there.

You tilt your head, thinking that maybe you should. Maybe now's your chance to finally give him a piece of your mind for hurting you.

"Just came to get another drink." He moves next to you and your eyes move over his hand that's rested on the counter as he pours some alcohol into his cup.

"So hey. What's up?" He turns and you look up at him. He chuckles as he takes a sip of his drink, "It's been a while, I know."

"Glad you're aware of that." You raise your brows, picking up the two cups.

"Alright.." he shrugs, ".. Talking about it really isn't my style, but I th-"

You cut him off, "No. no. I'm not.." you sigh, "I have a boyfriend now, Colby."

"I'm aware." Colby sips his drink, "How is Theo, by the way?"

"He's great, actually. I'm super happy with him." You cross your arms, cups still in hand and Colby raises his brows, "Glad to hear it."

You roll your eyes, "what do you really want Colby?" It doesn't occur to you that you already asked him that until it leaves your lips.

"I just thought I'd see what's up, but.." he walks over to you, "I'll just leave you to think about what I really want while I'm lighting up." He winks, taking a few steps away, stopping to turn, "If you still do that, you know where to find me."

"I stopped." You say loud enough for him to hear him. You turn, walking in the opposite direction, "Right when you broke my heart."

You walk back over to your group and Kya sighs, "I was about to send a search party for you. Jesus, I thought you got lost." She sips her drink, groaning as the alcohol touches her tongue, "So good."

"So what did I miss?" You lean back against the couch and look forward, immediately feeling your stomach flip when you see Colby sitting in the patio chair, directly outside of the glass door with the perfect view of you.

Fucking hell.

You pull your phone out, completely ignoring what the girls are filling you in on as you text Theo, Miss you. Wish you were here.

You rest your phone in your lap, crossing your one leg over the other, "No, I seen Janessa the other day, she definitely looked like she had a ring on her finger."

"See! I wasn't the only one!" Leslie says nudging the girl next to her, "Did it look like a big rock?"

You hold your hand out, rocking it back and forth, "Eh. It was a decent size."

Leslie sighs, "All that money and he couldn't afford a decent ring." She scoffs, "I swear if I don't have a big diamond on my hand when the time comes." She laughs, "Kidding. Kidding."

You laugh slightly, running a hand through your hair as your eyes move up to look at Colby again. His eyes are glued on you as he slowly brings the blunt to his lips, inhaling the smoke as he pulls it away.

You want to look away, but this obnoxiously strong hold he - still - has on you, won't allow it.

He tilts his head back, slowly allowing the smoke to leave his lips.

Your phone vibrates in your lap and you tear your eyes away to look down at it. You smile slightly as you read over Theo's text, Miss you too, baby. How's the party going?

You tap the screen, it's alright, just sitting with some friends, nothing too exciting.

You set your phone down, taking a drink. Kya moves in close to you, "I don't.." she clears her throat, lowing her voice to a whisper, "I don't mean to alarm you, but he's here."

"Who?" You play dumb.

She tilts her head, eyes moving in the direction of Colby, "Mr. Situationship." She mumbles through gritted teeth.

"Shut up." You act surprised, "Where?"

"Patio. Smoking with Sam and the others." She lays a hand on your knee, "Are you okay? Do you want to move? Leave? Whatever you want to do."

You lay your hand on hers, "Ky. I'm fine. Promise."

"If you say so." She mumbles moving away. Her attention is quickly taken away by the song that's playing, "Oh I love this song. Come on. Let's dance."

She finishes her drink, looking at you to finish yours. You down your drink, setting it down before standing up.

You couldn't lie, you were feeling pretty good and there was only one person you really wanted to be around right now - And it wasn't the person answering your texts.

Kya takes your hand, lifting them up as she moves her body to the song with a laugh, "I feel so.. happy right now."

"That's the alcohol, my love." You smirk and dance with her, laughing as she dances back to back with you.

Your eyes move to find Colby, who is still sitting on the patio, only this time, his view is blocked by the wall.

You turn away, dancing with Leslie.

For a few songs, you complete forgot about what you were feeling. You felt happy, free, like you can finally breathe for once.

You walk over to the couch, plopping down as you laugh, "I didn't know how much I needed this."

"You deserve it. You've been working hard these last few weeks, you need time to just relax, or take a few shots and party it up." Kya laughs and you sigh, "Is that you saying you want to take shots?"

"Yes!" She laughs, "Come on!"

You get up, following her to the counter. She sits out a few solo cups, only pouring a little bit of liquid in each before looking around to call over Leslie and the other girls.

You knew you were being watched.

You knew that what you wanted to do wasn't good.

But you wanted to get back at him, show him what he lost. Even though your little black dress does a lot, you still wanted to add to it.

"Here's to those who wish us well, all the rest can go to hell." Kya laughs and you all clink the plastic cups together before downing the shots.

"I know I'm working my way to being drunk because that didn't taste as bad as it usually does." Leslie laughs setting her cup down, "Hit us again, Ky."

Your eyes move from the cups, up across the living room scattered with people. But your eyes know who they're looking for, and they find him almost instantly.

Colby's sitting in the chair, calf rested on his other knee. He taps his cup on the arm rest, tilting his head, knowingly getting under your skin.

"It's cold hearted." You mouth to him subtly, hoping he'd pick it up.

And he did, because he mouths back, "what's cold hearted?"

You raise your finger off of the cup Kya gives you, directing it to him, "You."

You turn your attention back to the girls, sighing as you laugh at Leslie gives the cheers this time. You take your shot, closing your eyes as you breathe out, "You picked the strongest liquor?"

"Why not." Kya laughs and wraps her hand around your wrist, "Let's dance again."

"I have to go to the bathroom, but I'll find you after." You sit your cup down, watching as they push their way through the crowd to get to the center of the dance floor.

You laugh, shaking your head as you look around to find the bathroom. You frown, not knowing where they were so you walk up to a random person, "Excuse me.. do you know where the bathroom is?"

The girl smiles and nods, "Yeah, there's one down here, right over there." She points, "..and then there's another one upstairs, second or third door on the right I think."

You smile, "Thank you!"

She gives you another smile before you walk to the bathroom that's downstairs. You knock and there's a girls voice on the other side, "Give me a second."

You could hear giggling, from here and someone else. You sigh, knowing that it won't just be a minute. You turn around, making your way to the staircase.

You walk up, turning to the right and silently counting the doors in your head, "Please be open." You mumble as you bring your hand up to knock.

Before your knuckles can make contact, the door swings open and to your shock, Colby is standing there with a smirk on his face, "So we meet again. Nice."

"If I can just pee in peace, please. That would be nice." You cross your arms, nervous to make eye contact. Colby walks out, motioning to you that the bathroom is all yours.

"Can we talk when you're done?"

You stop closing the door and you look up at him, "Why?" He stares at you, "Because I have some things I want to say."

"Mm. I'll think about it." You close the door, locking it as soon as it latches shut. You rest your hands on the sink looking at yourself in the mirror.

"What am I doing?" You mouth weakly to yourself.

Seeing Colby again, has opening up a new feeling.

Or, reigniting past feelings.

You sit down to pee, mind racing as to what Colby wanted to talk about. You knew you couldn't be alone with him, that's just an ingredient to the disaster recipe.

As you stand up, moving over to wash your hands. As you stare at the water running over your hands, you smirk slightly as your mind starts to replay the last time you and Colby had sex.

You gasp quietly - Theo. You dry your hands, pulling out your phone to see texts from him.

That sounds exciting.

You alright?

I might fall asleep, but just call me if you need a ride home or not. I'll wake up. I promise.

Your slightly drunken heart sinks a little as you tap the screen, Sorry babe, I was dancing with Kya and Leslie. I'll call you when we're ready to leave.

You drop your phone back into your bag and give yourself one last look before opening the door.

Colby is still there, leaning up against the wall. He looks up at you and smiles.

You roll your eyes, "You're so fucking persistent."

"You weren't saying that a few months ago." He smirks and you shake your head, "Colby.." you pause, trying not to let your newly old feelings take over, "I have a boyfriend."

"I know, you've said that already.." He pushes himself off the wall and walks over, "A few times actually."

You shake your head, "It's late.. I need to go."

"Can we just- listen. I'm wired right now, and I just need - look, I know it's late, but I saw your face and got inspired t-"

"Inspired?" You laugh cutting him short, "What does that even mean?"

"Inspired to tell you how I really feel."

"About what?" You chew on the inside of your lip as you look up at him. He moves his finger back and forth from you to him and you nod slowly, "Right, right. But where was this when I told you I how I felt?"

"I wasn't.. I wasn't ready for something serious." He admits.

"You mean, you didn't want to be-" you put air quotes, "- tied down."

He looks at you, moving closer, "Look.. I-"

"Colby." You take a deep breath, batting his rising hand away from your face, "I can't.. do this."

"Do what, y/n?" He asks, tilting his head as he crosses his arms, "Come back to me?"

"I'm past that." You mumble, "I can't just.. I have a boyfriend, Colby."

"You keep saying." He nods, "I'm not asking to fuck. I'm asking to just talk to you. Let you know that seeing your face tonight completely changed how I- well, how I thought I felt about you."

You feel your heart thump in your chest as you don't know what to say. Your eyes search the floor as you sigh, "I have a boyfriend, I let what we had in the past go."

He purses his lips, "Did you?" He chuckles, "Because what you did down there..." he shrugs, "To me, that looked like you wanted my attention."

"I'm just having fun with my friends." You lie with a shrug, "Thats all."

"Well then.." he drops his hands, stepping back as he motions down the hall, "I guess you're good to go, then."

"Mm, like I said. Cold hearted." You go to walk away but he grabs your arm, pulling you back. You scoff and look up at him, pulling your arm away from him, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Look. Y/n. This is probably going to sound wrong, but just give me one minute .. I promise it won't last long."

You stare up at him, silently giving him a minute to talk.

He slowly moves his body closer to yours, "if we can't go back, you know, to the day that I just-"

"Ghosted me?" You ask raising your brows and he nods, "I just thought you'd like to know something."

You look up and back to him. You should just walk away. Go find Kya and call Theo, but it's like you're frozen in time.

Nothing matters right now but listening to what Colby has to say.

"What?" You slowly look up at him and a smirk toys with his lips, "I just thought you'd like to know that he won't touch you like I would."

You snap your head back, "what?"

He nods, backing you up slowly into the wall, hands on either side of your head, "He won't love you like I would."

"Does he know your body? Because I don't think he truly does." Colby's finger gently drags down over your collar bone and you close your eyes at the touch.

"He doesn't know your body, he don't do you right." He chuckles quietly as he tilts your chin up to force you to look at him, "He won't, he can't."

"You don't know him, Colby." You snap, "You know nothing about him."

Colby's eyes scan over your face, "I just know that he won't love you like I would." His thumb rubs over your bottom lip, smudging your lipstick slightly, "It's okay to want me."

"I ca-"

"Cause I want you." He cuts you off, "I know you've been thinking it over.. you can't lie about that. I know the way it ended wasn't the best, but when we were together, in bed or watching a movie.. it was good. So fucking good."

You tilt your head away, "But I'm through, Colby. I'm through with it. From what it seemed, you didn't want to give me what Theo wanted to. A possible future, public appearances. Fuck, Colby."

You lay your palms on your forehead, "Just. Stop. Stop waiting my time. Stop messing with my fucking head." You move your hands, looking up at him, "That's what I mean when I said you were cold hearted. You have no idea what you do to me."

You duck under his arm, walking towards the steps as you try and fix your smudged lipstick when you suddenly stop.

Your mind racing a mile a minute as you try not to give in to the bad things you know you shouldn't do.

"He won't touch you like I would."

"He won't love you like I would."

"He doesn't know your body, he don't do you right."

"I just know that he won't love you like I would."

You turn around, marching towards him, "where was this three, four months ago when I confessed my love for you? What's was all of this when I was ready to give everything to you?" You're standing so close to him you can smell the liquor on his breath, "Huh!?"

"I-I wasn't ready then."

"But you're ready now? Or ready when you seen that I was done being someone you can booty call at two am when you're lonely and want to get your dick wet. I see."

He stands there, looking down at you as you continue, "all of this.. he won't do this he can't do that like you could, what the fuck. What the actual fuck Colby."

"It's the truth." He shrugs, "I don't know what you want me to say. I'm not lying about it." His hand brushes up your arm and your heads both snap to the stairs as you hear people coming up laughing.

He quickly pushes you against a door, opening it as he pushes you into it.

You stand there, watching as he closes it quickly and quietly, flipping the lock on the knob, "Does he know how much you like to be worshiped?"

You clench your jaw.

"Does he know about the little spot on your neck that you just absolutely love when his tongue runs over it?" He steps closer to you, "does he know that two fingers slipping slowly in and out of that pussy teases the ever loving shit out of you, but you love it so much you can't help but to just endure it?"

He walks over to you, "Does he know how much you love to be bent over, being fucked from behind as you get told how much of a good girl you are for taking him?"

He walks up, tilting your head up to look at him, "Does he know your coffee order? French vanilla with two cream, three sugar?"

You can feel your heart beating faster as your eyes begin to burn - colby did pay attention to you.

"Or what about the movie you can never get sick of? Does he watch that with you every time you come over just to see you smile and hear that beautiful laugh?"

"Do you want me to keep going?" He licks his lips, eyes bouncing between yours, "Tell me to stop, and I'll stop."

You say nothing, curious as to what else he has to say.

"Does he know what little things turn you on?" His hand slides down, slowly squeezing the front of your neck, "Does he know what you don't like?"

He tilts his head, "Your silence tells me that everything I need to know."

"What do you know exactly?" You ask quietly, eyes moving to look at him.

"Exactly what I said." He walks you back wards a few steps and you knees buckle as they hit the edge of the bed, "He don't touch you like I did. Know your body like I do. He doesn't love you like I did, like I do."

You sit down, Colby's hand still on your neck, "Like I said. Tell me to stop and I will." He leans in, slowly closing the space between you.

You rest your fingertips on his cheek, your breathing is rapid, "Colby.." Your voice is quiet, "I-I.."

You so badly want to say no, but you feel like you physically cant, "How do I know you're not just saying these things."

He doesn't say anything for a few moments, his hand releases from your neck as he moves down to kneel in between your knees, "Why would I remember everything about you, the way you liked to be touch, a simple coffee order.. if I wasn't going to try and get you back?"

"All the months, the days that went by Colby.. I just.." you tilt your head back, the burn in your eyes returning.

"I- I loved you, Colby." You look at him, your hand moving to lay on the front of his neck. He tilts his head back, still maintaining eye contact with you as you squeeze slightly, "Why did you make me fall in love with you if you were just going to leave me?"

He places his hands on your cheeks, cupping your face, "I was scared. I was scared to open up completely to someone. The more time I spent with you, the more I let my fear get the best of me."

"You could have just told me that." You shake your head, "I don't.. I don't understand what made it so hard for you to-"

"I don't know either, okay." He says cutting you off, "But I'm telling you now. Right here." He pulls you in, his lips brushing against yours, "Right now."

You close your eyes, "But Theo.."

"Screw him, he doesn't know anything about you." Colby shakes his head, "But I know you."

You knew he was right.

You also knew that he knew what you wanted to do.

"Our situationship ended in a disaster, Colby." You laugh slightly as you look at him, "Maybe not for you. And then the whole, what was it, oh.." you roll your eyes, "yeah, the whole hey message right when it got out I was with Theo."

"I hated seeing you with someone else."

"Why?" Your eyes meet his and he rubs his thumb over your cheek, "Because I wanted you to be with me, you're made for me."

His words have an effect on you, and not the I'm lying just to get into your pants effect, but the so this is love effect.

"Do you want me to stop?" Colby asks quietly as he lays his hands on your thighs.

You lay your hands on his, "Are you going to ghost me again?"

"Never." He shakes his head, rubbing his fingers over your skin, "Never again."

You cup his cheeks as you spread your legs open slowly, "Prove it."

He's quick to act, pushing your dress up to lay around your hips as you lay back. You bring your legs up and his grips your thigh, using his other hand pull your panties to the side.

He leans in, pushing his tongue into you with a groan.

You gasp, eyes rolling back as you place a hand on his head. Your leg goes over his shoulder, pulling him closer.

You missed how good he made you feel, more importantly, you missed him.

"Colby." You moan out quietly as you look down at him. He locks eyes with yours, staring up at you as his tongue moves in and out.

He leans back, "I missed you so much." He moves up next to you, lying on his side as he leans down to kiss you.

His hand moves down your body as he gently rubs two fingers up and down your slit before slowly pushing them in.

You gasp, gripping the sheets of the random bed under you, "I missed you." Your hand goes to his cheek as his fingers move slow, doing what you love.

"What did you miss?" He presses a kiss to your forehead, "Hmm."

"You." Your breath shutters as he pushes his fingers in as far as they'll go, "Everything."

"Like what, darlin'?" Colby watches you, biting his lip as you roll your hips against his hand. You moan quietly, "all the ways.. you make me feel good."

"If you come back to me, I can do it everyday." He leans down, kissing down your neck, "Any time you want."

Your lips part as his tongue runs over the specific spot he mentioned, earning a gasp from you.

He smirks, "See, I know you."

He pulls his fingers out, bringing them up to your lips. You part them, eyes on his as your tongue swirls around them.

"You're so beautiful." He bites his lip, "Tasting yourself off my fingers."

You smile, tilting your head back. He grips your chin, leaning down to kiss you before standing up to shrug off his jean jacket.

You sit up, pulling the straps of your dress down your shoulders, "what are you layering up for winter or something?"

He chuckles, "I came here for one thing, and it wasn't to party." He winks as he pulls off his crew neck, "..so I wasn't really worried about dressing for it."

Your eyes scan over his bare torso, "What did you come here for?"

He chuckles, tilting his head as he slips his fingers into the band of his matching sweats, "I think you know."

"Do I?" You tease and he steps out of them, walking over to you. He leans down, moving his body over yours as you lay back, "Why don't I just show you."

Your lips part as the tip of his cock pushes up against you, "Don't be gentle."

"That was my next question." He smirks as he rests his arm under your knee, holding your leg up as he slides his cock into you.

Your brows furrow as your nails dig into his shoulder, "Fuck, fuck." You clench around him, earning a groan from his lips, "Fuck, I've missed how you feel around me."

He leans down, connecting his lips to yours as he slowly pulls out. He thrusts back in, quickly picking up a punishing pace.

He kisses down your neck, moaning into it as your nails drag up his back, "Colby.." you whimper, wrapping your other leg around his waist, "Fuck, fuck."

Colby bites your neck, sucking in a mark that you most likely find until later.

"You're made for me." He groans lowly, "You belong with me."

"I belong with you." You moan out as you lay your hand on his cheek, "I love you. I've always loved you."

His lips meet yours as his arm drops your leg, his hand moving to wrap around your neck, "You've always been such a good little slut for me."

You moan at his words, "always you."

He leans up, hands gripping your hips as he thrusts, "Fuck, fuck. Roll over for me." He pulls out and you push yourself over, moving your hips up.

"That's my girl." His hands run over your ass, sliding up to grip your hips as he moves behind you. He lines himself up, thrusting into you slowly as he leans down.

His lips plant kisses on your shoulder and across your upper back to the other, "I'm never letting you go again."

You grip the blanket, pulling as he pushes his cock into you. You whimper, pushing your hips back, "You feel so good."

Colby slides his hand up your back, making a pony tail of your hair take with his hand.

Your mouth opens, eyes rolling back as he pulls your head back more, "such a good girl." He starts to thrust, slow and hard, "Taking my cock so well again."

You moan, squeezing his cock as he brings you close to orgasm, "Close.. s-so close."

"Go on baby, show me how good I make you feel." Colby's voice is low, "Let me hear those pretty sounds."

A string of moans leaves by our lips as he pounds into you, guiding you through your high. His hand slips around, tightening around your neck, "that's it, baby."

He nips your ear, "So fucking good." He rests his forehead against your head, "You're gonna make me cum."

He leans up, bringing a hand down to smack on your ass. He runs his thumb over the forming red hand print, "Fuck, fuck."

He thrusts grow sloppy, quickly slowly down as you feel him twitch inside of you. 

It's quiet, all but the sound of heavy breathing.

Colby finds something to clean up with, walking over to gently wipe you off, "Are you okay?" He helps you sit up and you smile, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I didn't mean with us.. I mean.." he purses his lips and your eyes go wide, "Oh fuck, Theo."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Thank you for reading! As always, let me know how you liked it!

Love you all! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[mandy-asimp]

Late night dancing

Agatha Harkness x fem! Reader (she/her)

Warnings: swearing, touchiness, kissing, the media being shit, reassurance, fluff, angst, it's a happy ending

Summary: reader is a gamer and plays among us because that's what I was feeling and is dating Agatha who is a big CEO but their relationship is exposed one night.

"Ok an Y/n? What did you see?" Rea's voice chimed over everyone.

It was a classic Friday night stream. A group of friends playing round after round of games while drinking. Something Y/n had found herself doing a lot more ever since her streaming account picked up.

She sat up in her chair, "ok I was in electrical doing wires, and I left Jack in there. I run out and run past Leslie as she goes into electrical. I was like 'maybe she'll kill' so I waited for a few seconds before running back up. And not only did the vent close, Jack's body was right there!" She explained what happened in the few minutes. "Now, I'm not saying I saw her...but it's very obvious."

The group lightly laughed, "so Leslie? If not we come back for Y/n?" Felix had a smile in his words.

"Uh, it is not me. So you don't have to come back for me, thank you very much!" She put in her vote happily.

The night continued on and it was full of laughter. With headphones on she didn't hear the door open. "No! No! I don't wanna die!" She shouted while running to the button, Toast on her tail. She clicked the button before he could catch her. "It's Toast! He's been chasing me after double backing!" She cried out. Screaming when a hand placed on her shoulder.

The group laughed and tried to talk to her but her mic seemed to have been muted. All her stream saw was the body of someone and her talking to them. She smiled warmly before agreeing to something and unmuting.

"Sorry! But yeah it's totally Toast. If not you can come back for me." She locked in her vote once again.

"Are you ok over there?" Lily laughed, referring to the ear piercing scream.

She let out her own chuckle, " yeah just got scared was all. Also this is my last round. So trust me cause I'm right and it would be a good way to end my stream."

Everyone agreed it was valid and voted him off. Winning the game once more before she signed off. There was some protest, even with her live chat, but she did have to go. A wide smile on her face as she ran into the living room. Hoping the couch and right into her girlfriend's lap.

"Hello honey!" She beamed from ear to ear. "How was your day today?" She was quick to grow eager to hear all about what the other was up to.

Agatha groaned, "people are so dumb sometimes. Honestly, all they're doing is sorting files and working in an office. It's not that hard." She rubbed her temples.

Agatha was the CEO of some big tech company. She always had to deal with the other men in the industry who didn't take her serious. Yet, her company was the leading one and thriving.

"It's actually just infuriating to think, that just because I have a pair of boobs and a vagina, they don't take me half as serious. I'm mean, I figured we'd be past all this by now." She complained, each word making her headache even more heavy.

Y/n hummed in thought, "what if I taught you a game? One where your amazing boobs and vagina have nothing to do with it?" She offered, getting a look of confusion in return. "Come, we game!"

That night, Agatha was taught how to play among us and was surprisingly good at it. Her lying skills being a bit concerning to the younger but she knew it was all fun in games. Literally. Along with, Agatha struggled to lie to her, the ravenette didn't know why but one look and she was spilling the truth.

A few months had passed and it was a Christmas special. Everyone was on and ready to play. "Welcome stream! Welcome everybody! Happy holidays to those who celebrate, happy Friday to those who don't. Today we're back with another among us!" She greeted. Taking a few minutes to greet everyone and talk a little bit. Smiling at the questions about the mystery person.

She joined the group of other players and the conversations just flowed.

"So before we start, Y/n?" Leslie pulled the attention to the friend. A hum being her acknowledgment. "Got a secret lover you're hiding?"

The blush the chat pointed out was undeniable. She leaned closer to her mic with a wide smile, "maybe." Was all she said before the round started.

While she was running around talking to herself, the door opened once again. Her head snapped back and she grew excited at the sight of her girlfriend. Quickly, she placed her character by the emergency button and jumped from her seat. Going as far as turning off her camera to smother Agatha with kisses.

"Well someone missed me?" She teased, hands holding her waist as she enjoyed the feeling of love. "I was only gone for a few weeks?"

"Oh a few weeks too long!" She spoke through kisses. Not aware her mic was still on. "How was your trip, babes?"

Agatha grimaced at the nickname, "you know I hate when you use babes. You use that term so freely with friends. But it was good I guess. The hotel room was lavish. Work is boring to talk about? What about you?"

"Y/n!" Leslie's voice was heard through the headphones. "Is that your maybe?!"

Her eyes grew big as she slowly touched the mic. "Ummm....maybe." She spun from the hold and ran back towards the gaming display.

Agatha noted how it was purple all the time. She knew it wasn't the girls favorite color, but hers instead. She always wanted to ask about it but chose not to. Instead she followed over and stood behind the chair.

Y/n turned the camera back on and the chat went wild at the body in the background. Begging for a face reveal. "I missed the conversation, so I'm going to skip this round." And the votes skipped and the game went on.

"Y/n! What's her name? We all heard her." Leslie followed her around, the proximity chat giving them the chance to still talk. "I'm also going to be honest, my chat is saying she's in the room with you! And they saw her standing behind you?"

She laughed at the absurdity. "Yes she's behind me. I'm training her to play games so she can play with me. Especially since I got her to take a week break for the holidays. Busy woman."

Leslie squealed with excitement, "you should let her finish this round with us and you do all the voicing." She proposed knowing the others would notice the sudden behavior change.

Y/n turned to look at Agatha, an innocent smile spread from ear to ear. "I'll turn off the camera and you'll play?" Was all she had to say before Agatha was situating in the chair.

That's when she realized how comfortable it really was. What she didn't expect was her girlfriend to get handsy while she played. The way she kept talking as if she was the one playing.

She had gone a little quiet as her lips slowly moved against the skin of her neck. The emergency meeting interrupting them. A body had been found.

"So I found this body in electrical, and the lights were out but I can for sure clear Jack and Abe," Rea had began the discussion. "We were all moving as one so it was very unlikely they did it."

There was a silence before Toast spoke up. "Y/n where are you?" He began his interrogation.

"I was on the right side near shields. I had come down from Nav." The lie flowed easily as her hands kept roaming over Agatha's collarbones. Her nail scratching just lightly. "The last person I had seen was Leslie near the trash."

"That was a while ago though like the start of the round. I say we just skip this one we still have enough people." She had concluded. The group agreeing with her.

And as more rounds went on, Y/n got more lost in touching Agatha. Leaving hickies on her neck as she tried to keep her focus. Her blue eyes search for the mute button, eager to let a moan out but not wanting the world to hear. Even if the idea of it turned her on a bit. To fuck her girlfriend hard as the stream listened to her moan and pant out her name. She found the mute button finally.

"You're making this harder than it needs to be..." she hummed out. Eyes still trained to the screen as the character ran around. Just then, Jacks character ran by and she had hit the kill button. Winning the game without realizing.

Y/n unmuted quickly, "a killer in the night!" She cheered. She made herself comfortable in Agatha lap as she so easily switched back to the innocent gamer. "Another win for the compilation. One more round?"

A collections of agreements were thrown before the game started once again. It was a silent round this time. It was a mode that Y/n had brought up that was nearly impossible to win for anyone. Everyone was on mute and could only type one thing and had to hope everyone understood.

What she hadn't planned, was Agatha getting her revenge. Her wised hands moved better than hers did. They knew how to touch her and how to work her up without doing much. She sighed at the pressure applied to her chest, desperate suddenly for the round to end.

Blessed when she ran into the imposter and met her fate. She typed a quick goodbye in chat and her stream abruptly ended. Her headset flew from her head and she turned in Agatha's lap. Hands holding her cheeks as the kiss was full of passion. How she missed her girlfriend!

"I've missed you Aggie..." she sounded more sad than relieved however. It caught Agatha's attention instantly. And they both pulled back and stared at each other. "You missed our six years." Was all she managed before getting up.

She was right. Agatha was so busy with work conferences she had missed it and hardly even sent a text. "Oh angel....I'm so sorry. The meetings just, they distracted me from what's important. You know I never would...let me make it up to you."

"How about a late night? Like we used to? Where we'd just be bundled up and roam the city at night?" There was this big glimmer in her eyes. Begging to go out and relive a night of pure carelessness.

Ever since Agatha had become the CEO, she's had to been a lot more discrete about her public appearances. The cameras waited for her scandal so she would finally fall. The industry was out for her all because of how powerful she was. How powerful her company was. So when she lost the fight in her head, she agreed and began to change into something more comfortable.

Y/n was close behind her the entire time. Her arms wrapped around her waist as she picked out her clothes, head resting against her shoulder. Watching her hands grab the jeans that hugged her so nicely and her old college sweatshirt. But the younger moved quick, grabbing jeans of her own and the sweatshirt before running to the room to begin changing. She loved being in the others clothes, it made her feel more at ease.

"You know if someone saw you in that they'd think you're smart." Agatha had teased coming out the closet. She had already changed and was in just a simple purple hoodie. "Think you're a prodigy."

"I am?" Y/n spun around, finishing up applying lip gloss. Her smile being all the confidence she needed. "I may not be as smart as you are Ms. CEO but I thrive in other categories."

The woman hummed as she came closer, hands slipping under the fabric to hold her bare waist. Feeling the new set of beads that adored her. Curiously, she lifted to look at them. Her brows furrowed as she couldn't read out the letters. She crouched, holding her hips to stable her as she squinted. The purple beads went around and in the middle were her initials. It shocked her as she looked for the clasp to take them off, failing to find it.

"Aren't they beautiful? I had it custom made and permanently attached." She explained quietly, a finger slipping under Agatha chin and forcing her to look up. "Do you like them?"

There wasn't a verbal response as the brunette placed a kiss to the letters and came back up. Kissing her like the night depended on it. "Absolutely adorable. It suits you well. But those aren't your initials?"

"No they are not. But one day, it'll be close enough. Now I was told there was a night out? It's not going to happen in this apartment." She folded her arms over her chest. It earned her a chuckle before she was being pushed towards the door.

That night was perfect. The two walked down streets and took everything in while laughing. Being caught in the snow made it all the better as they would dance down the emptier streets, humming tunes of their own. They had found a hot chocolate stand and could resist as they kept walking around. Their night lasted till the sun began to peak back up. Both absolutely exhausted but it was well worth it.

Yet, by the eight o'clock news, Agatha Harkness was all over. Her lover and her dancing down the road as the so easily figured out who Y/n was. A big CEO and a streamer spotted through the downtown area.

"I just think it's a little absurd, is this a grown woman having a mid-life crisis? Trying to find some joy in the youth of today?" The voice of the news man woke Agatha up.

Her eyes took a moment to register what was on the tv, and once she did her heart felt stuck. The world was ready to take her down for this so easily. Her phone had been blowing up. That's when she realized Y/n sitting at the end of the bed, eyes trained to the screen.

"God...they're assholes. How could they be so quick to assume such bullshit." Her voice was weak and Agatha knew there were tears on her cheeks without even seeing.

"Hun..." she sat up herself now. A hand reaching out to reassure her.

"I mean is she taking advantage of this young lady? She's hardly through life and this woman has trapped her." He kept going and Agatha's hand flew back to her.

Those words did it. They stabbed at both their hearts and Y/n had to look back to Agatha. Her jaw was clenched as she tried to fight the sob in her throat.

It wasn't even a second thought before the streamer was rushing out the room to her computer. Starting a stream as she paced back and forth in the room. Hands running through her bed head and trying to make it less messy.

Within seconds over ten thousand people were logged on to watch. The comments being a mix of insults and majority defending her. She sat at the desk as the tears still fell from her eyes.

The word gold digger repeated in the chat. "That's sick. Actually sick and twisted. You all don't even know half of the story. You saw a few pictures of me and her dancing and so suddenly I'm the gold digger? Did you know I've known her before she had everything? Did you know at a time we both were living paycheck to paycheck together?" The comments had gone still almost.

"You so quickly took and painted her as a woman going through a mid-life crisis, and is taking advantage, ruining my future, when in reality she has been nothing but the sweetest, most caring woman I've ever met. She has done nothing but worked her ass off for everything she owns. I have worked my ass off for everything I own. So do not think for a second I am with her for her money because in the end I don't need it to survive." She couldn't help how easily she spoke. Not stuttering through the tears, but firmly addressing the now millions of viewers.

"So maybe before you jump to every wrong accusation you can possibly think of, you should really just consider the fact love comes in all forms. And that woman who you all bashed for no reason, is the love of my life and always will be. I will love her until I quite literally die. And it is all by my own choice it always has been. Because I'd be a fool to let that woman go. I support her everyday, I have always been her biggest supporter, and I will always be her biggest supporter." She concluded, giving it one moment to see if anyone in the chat would say anything. But it was nothing but support now.

She wiped her tears with shaky hands before ending the stream. It was just her at the computer now. Along with the flooding of tears.

Agatha heard the cries and came around, immediately pulling her from the chair and into the hold. Burying her head into her chest as they swayed slightly. "It's ok angel.....we're gonna be ok."

"They're wrong," she managed to get out. "They're so so wrong!" She pulled back to stare up at her girlfriend. "You know they're wrong right? I don't care about..about any money. I never have I love you because you're you!" She was sobbing uncontrollably, she felt like she was spiraling.

Agatha cooed her back against her chest. "I know. I would never think that of you ever, and you know that." She was going to find whoever got the pictures and make sure they never hold a camera again. How could a world say such cruel things about someone like Y/n? She hugged her tighter.

"How are you able to just accept what they say?" Y/n mumbled into the chest.

"The world has been looking for something to rag on me for years. It just wasn't right that they were going to use you. Your love is not a weapon. Neither is mine." Agatha brushed throwing her hair soothingly. "Why don't we have a lazy day hmm? We'll start with a bath, then we'll have brunch and go from there?"

A small ok was sounded out. And that's exactly what they did. They spent the day in only each other's presence and away from the media. It was them and only them.

Just how it's always been.

[matchalovertrait]

We can't act totally reckless here! This is a risky mission for a pair of amateurs. They needed to consult highly-trained and experienced professionals. Luckily, THE iconic duo from the S.I.M.S. Agency took time out of their schedule to share their wisdom. Yay!!!!! Thank you so much @ruthplaysthesims for letting me borrow Carlos and Tyson! 💞💞💞 Look at them!!!

One phone call later...

DULCE: I’m confused. You know actual real-life secret agents???

ANTONIO: Yes, but you have to promise to not tell anybody. Not one soul. Except for Cosi.

DULCE: I do promise!!! But how do you know them? Aren’t they supposed to be... well, secret?

ANTONIO: A while back, I assisted them with some legal matters. They said they “owe me one,” so I am redeeming that help now.

CARLOS: Hey, what’s up?

TYSON: It’s been a minute, man!

CARLOS: This is the client sworn to secrecy, right?

DULCE: YES!!!! Obviously I’ve never heard of you two before, but I’m still very much a huge fan!!! I won’t say anything.

ANTONIO: I would’ve preferred you did this mission for us since it’s a dire situation, but I know you are very busy.

TYSON: We could tell it was urgent from the phone call earlier. That Leslie Caruso guy sounds repulsive. You sure you don’t want us to swoop in and take care of him?

CARLOS: He’s joking...

TYSON: Am I?

ANTONIO: We’re sure. All I’m asking for is advice. We need to go to the party in disguise and retrieve the notebook.

TYSON: That’s a good start with the disguises.

CARLOS: When you arrive at the scene, you’re not “Antonio” or “Dulce” anymore. You must fully embrace your new identities.

TYSON: Confidence will take you far. If you act with assurance, people will believe it.

ANTONIO: You got that? Daniela told me about your last attempt at disguising yourself at the coffee shop.

DULCE: Shhhh! I’m learning here.

CARLOS: Furthermore, keep your story simple if you run into anybody. Don’t overexplain.

TYSON: That can make you look suspicious immediately. Also, try to “speak their language.” Mirror them if you can.

ANTONIO: Keep that in mind too, Ms. Alegría.

DULCE: What if we get stuck and don’t know what to say?

CARLOS: Earpieces. Maybe get another person involved in this mission. Again, don’t tell them about us, please.

DULCE: Understood! Any last tips?

TYSON: Hmm...

TYSON: If things go wrong, don’t hesitate to abandon the mission. Leave the notebook and stay safe. If you do retrieve the notebook, don’t stick around. Head straight to the exit and don’t look back.

CARLOS: And work together as a team. You have to rely on and trust each other wholeheartedly. An unsteady team can easily jeopardize the mission.

DULCE: Thank you! These are the things they don’t cover in the spy movies!

TYSON: We’re happy to help.

CARLOS: Good luck.

TYSON: Let us know if you need anything else.

ANTONIO: We appreciate it immensely.

DULCE: Bye!!!

DULCE: [Whispers] I love you guys.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Dirty Work 23

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bullying, familial discord/abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You start a new gig and find one of your clients to be hard to please.

Characters: Loki

Note: what up my slutty butties!

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You help Leslie bring out the plates. You set one before Mr. Laufeyson as Leslie puts one down before an empty chair. You can hear your dad muttering at his puzzle. Your boss is unfazed as he smugly sits waiting.

"Offer him something to drink while I get your father," Leslie lowers her voice, turning her back to your guest, "I know you didn't have a mother around but have some common courtesy."

You flinch, injured by her unnecessary remark. Sometimes she says things that sting, just like your father. You suppose that's why they get along so well. She sidesteps you and enters the front room, announcing her presence gaily as she calls your father's name.

"Mr. Laufeyson," you face him sheepishly, "would you like something to drink?"

"I suppose you haven't any cabernet," he snorts. You clamp your lip tightly in humiliation. "I am driving so I suppose it wouldn't matter, you have water, yes? It will suffice."

"Yes, Mr. Laufeyson," you answer and spin away, fleeing to the kitchen behind the shield of the simple task.

You take a glass from the cupboard, checking to make sure it's clear and clean, and fill it from the filtered jug in the fridge. You return to the dining room as Leslie helps your father in. He bats her hand off his arm and grunts as he drops into an empty chair across from Mr. Laufeyson. You put the water in front of your boss and peek over at your dad.

"Dad, do you want something--"

"No," he barks as he snatches his fork, poking at the seasoned turnip, "what is this shit?" He sniffs, "smells like garbage."

You sit and balance at the edge of your chair, not paying any mind to the food before you.

"Charlies, don't be rude," Leslie claims a seat of her own, "Loki's mother was so kind to send this over to us."

"I don't know her," your father growls.

"Can't complain for free food, can we?" Leslie girds gently and sends a smile to Laufeyson, "it's been a tough day for him. The humidity really bothers him."

"Would you be quiet?" Your father snaps, "I can speak for myself and I'm just damn fi--"

Your father breaks out into another storm of coughs. He hits the table and braces it, his fork clattering as he struggles to catch his breath. Mr. Laufeyson sits placidly, picking up his knife and fork, and cutting into the pork loin.

"My, you do sound rather terrible," he says as he pokes a morsel of meat in the air on the tines. 

"He'll be fine, he just needs to catch his breath," Leslie assures.

"Mm, have you thought of an air purifier? It might do this place some good?" Laufeyson suggests with a curl of his lip, biting into the pork.

"Mr. Fucking Fancy Pants," your dad slaps his own chest as he finds his voice, "what do you know? You ain't some doctor walking in here telling me how to breathe."

"I have several degrees so I could claim the title, I suppose," Laufeyson taunts, "I always thought it a bit pompous, however."

"Ah, go off and buy another set of tits," your father snarls.

"You are such a loving father, aren't you?" Laufeyson goads.

"Good enough to know yours never smacked you hard enough," your dad retorts.

Silence. You look at Leslie as she peers between the men, a frigid smile frozen on her face. You bat your lashes as you teeter and grip the table.

Your dad takes his fork again and scoops up a soft chunk of turnip. He puts it in his mouth, making a face as he tastes it then gags and spits it out. It flies across the table onto Laufeyson's plate. Your brows rise as Leslie's expression mirrors your shock.

"Tastes like garbage too. That mother of yours must be just as much a disappointment to your father as you," your dad chortles at his own insult, hacking into another fit.

Mr. Laufeyson sets his fork down. He sighs and slides his plate away. He stares down your father as he sets his back straight.

"As much as you are to your daughter, I'm sure."

"Mr. Laufeyson," you squeak.

"Get--" your father coughs and chokes, fighting to get to his feet, his stomach hitting the table and rattling the dishes, "the fuck--" cough -- "out of my house."

"Is that what you call this place?" Laufeyson remains seated, glancing around derisively.

Leslie gasps, "sir, now you are too much, we welcomed you in--"

"I wasn't aware your job included nursing his bruised ego," Laufeyson shoots in her direction, "don't remind me of etiquette. I brought you all more than the scraps you have in the back of that dingy fridge. Of course, you wouldn't have the taste or sense to know good food."

"I said GET OUT!" Your father hollers so hard he sways, his voice scratching at its peak.

"Dad," you stand up, "Mr. Laufeyson, please, you need to go--"

"Take your own advice," he stands and scoffs in your father's direction.

"Stop, please, he's my dad--"

"Oh yes, I've heard it before," Laufeyson sneers, "and I heard you beg him just the same before he--"

"No!" You exclaim, "no, leave. Now. Please--"

"You needn't convince me further," Mr. Laufeyson strides around the table, "Chuck," he stops next to your father as he puffs, grasping the chair for support, "try not to choke on your own vitriol."

He pats your dad arm, causing him to recoil and fall onto the chair. Leslie rushes over to him as you stand dumbfounded. You hoped the day wouldn't get worse and yet, you can't say you didn't expect it. Even so, it hits you like a car at full speed and knocks the wind out of you. You don't know what to do.

"Have a good night," Mr. Laufeyson says at the door, "however pleasant it could ever be in a rat-infested hole like this." He looks at you, "thank you for this lovely dinner."

He turns and struts out. You shake your head as adrenaline courses through you, burning around your lungs and hammering in your chest. You look over at your father as he continues to cough violently.

"Dad..." you try to go to him.

"Haven't you done enough?" Leslie snaps as she lashes you with a glare. You wince and stumble back.

"I didn't--"

"He's right about you, isn't he?" She snarls, "you're just an ungrateful brat."

"No--"

"Go!" Your father forces through his choking gasp, "you little bitch!"

Your lip trembles as the room spins. You twirl away without a second thought, horrified and humiliated. You run out into the hallway and barrel up the stairs, sobbing by the time you get to the top step. Mr. Laufeyson has ruined everything. Your job, your family, and your entire life.

You thought you had nothing before, how wrong you were.

✨

 You cry yourself to sleep, just like many nights before. Your head swirls with rippled visions of angry eyes and shadowy figures. You drown in the thick unconscious, nearly suffocated with terror as you're paralysed against the virulent nightmares.

You wake only as a crash splinters your sleep. You sit up, heaving for air as you see a dark figure eerily similar to the one in your dreams. You blink until you can, the light of the hallway glowing in the limn your father's portly figure.

He drags out the next drawer from your dresser and dumps it over the pile mounded on the floor. He staggers as he drops the plywood and kicks it aside. He leans on the handle of his oxygen tank as you reach for your lamp.

"Dad? What are you--"

He struggles to reach for the bottle by his feet. He lifts it and wobbles as he untwists the cap. He overturns the bottle of bleach onto the heap of clothes, kicking them around as the stringent chemical spills out. You watch as he ruins the layers of new clothing and cry out as you bounce to the foot of the bed.

"What are you doing!?" You shriek.

"Whore's clothes," he tosses the bottle on top, "you... bring your pimp in here like the slut you are--"

"Dad," you whimper but have no words. He's not so far off after all. You look down at the clothes and the pale stains of the bleach patching across the fabric, "dad, I'm sorry. I tried-- I was only--"

"I don't care," he grits, "I'm done with you. You been..." he takes a deep breath, clasping his chest, "mooching off me for thirty years. You sucked the life outta me--" he gasps again, "look what you done to me," he tugs at the tube that trails down his chest, "this is your fault. You killed me just like you did your mother."

"No, no, no," you touch your cheeks as they burns and your tears fall free, "please, don't say that."

It's another nightmare. It has to be. You're still sleeping. This can't be real.

"Dad," you stand and reach for him, "don't be mad--"

He hits you. Not hard, he can't. He's too weak. You flinch and back away, cowering as you cradle your head. He looks around, his head bobbling and grabs the hardcover book from atop your dresser.

He nears you as you shrink down, stunned into helplessnness. He grips the book with both hands and swings it at you. The first strikes doesn't wake you. It's real. 

He hits you, over and over, the sharp corner jabbing into your cheek and chin, then the side thumping across your shoulder and against your side. He keeps on until he can't.

He drops the book and coughs, bending over as he slips to one knee. You watch him, tears streaming into your hands as you babble like a child. 

"Daddy," you murmur.

"You get out or I'll call... the goddamn... police," he braces the oxygen tank and forces himself up. "This isn't your home no more." He limps and drags the tank to the door, "it never was.”

✨

You don't know what to do. You can barely stop crying long enough to think. The heavy bags weigh down your steps as you wander mindlessly to the corner and stop, the reality of the moment crashing down like thunder.

You drop the duffle bag and sit on it, letting your work bag hit the pavement by your feet. The sun has barely come up as you sit in the dim hue of dawn. Where do you go?

You feel yourself sinking. Your lungs are reading to shrivel and your head is going to cave in. You're lost. You have no home, you have no father, you have nothing... well, you still have a job.

You cry a little longer, until you hear the first sign of life from across the street. You get up as a man comes of a house. He doesn't notice you as you hitch up your work bag and grab the duffle from the sidewalk. You just need somewhere for a night or two. Let dad cool off and you'll apologise. It will be okay.

You walk down to the main road and catch the first bus. You have no direction, no destination. You get off as you see the marquee of the Holiday Inn. You've never stayed in a hotel, hopefully they have room for you. It seems like no one does.

You shuffle inside, tired and worn out. There's a woman behind the front desk, sitting on a chair so you can only see the top of your head. You hobble over under the weigh of your bags and wait for her to notice you. When she doesn't, you tap the bell on the counter.

"Eh?" She stands up, almost tipping over, "sorry," she yawns, "didn't hear you come in."

"Mm," you hum and chew your lips, "that's okay. Erm..."

"Do you have a reservation? Bit early... or late, to be checking in."

"No, uh, I don't," you lower your eyes, "do you have anything available?"

"Sure we do," she answers chipperly. You look at her name tag; Mindy. "I got a few singles clean and ready."

"Okay, that's good," you answer, "how much?"

"Hundred and twenty for tonight. Credit on file or three hundred cash deposit."

"Oh," you try not show your surprise, "okay, I er, think I have enough but I don't have a credit card."

"Now worries, there's an ATM," she points across the lobby.

"Thank, can I leave my bags here for a second?"

"Sure, sweetie," she turns to the computer and clicks around.

You cross to the machine and dig out your debit card. You slide it into the slot and push the firm metal buttons. Your stomach plummets as you punch in the custom amount for withdrawal. You were saving that for the mortgage and Leslie. You hit Yes and the machine whirs, spitting out a stack of bills and a receipt.

You return to the counter and hand it over. Mindy asks for your name and phone number. You give her your info, growing more weary by the moment.

"Here are your keys," she hands over a tiny paper folio, "checkout is 11am tomorrow."

"Thanks."

"Wifi info is in there, along with information about breakfast. Coffee in the room and a kettle. Oh, and microwave."

You thank her one last time and collect your bags once more. You go to the elevator and check the folio for your room number. You hit floor six and wait for the box to rise. You step off, following the wall plaques to the matching door. It's yours, just for a little bit.

You swipe the card several times before it unlocks, struggling to make it register. You push your duffle inside with your feet and put your work bag beside it as the door shuts on its own. The room is small, the walls are pasted in faded wallpapers and the bed is made with sheets that remind you of another decade.

You put the keys on the table against the wall and drag yourself to the bed. You don't really have any time to nap, you just need to get off your feet for a little.

Your restlessness doesn't let you sit long. You wear some of your old clothes, of the few pieces you salvaged from the ruin. You check yourself in the mirror. You don't bother with the makeup. Mr. Laufeyson will be disappointed either way. Besides, you shouldn't care so much what he thinks. You're just his house manager after all. You're there to do a job.

If only believing it would make it true.

You find a route that goes towards his neighbourhood. It lets you off a few blocks away and you take your time. You almost don't have a choice as your body is achy from your father's attach, new bruises rising tenderly to the surface.

You're early despite the fractured night. As you pass the cafe, you slow and glance through the window. Just one more quiet moment before you face the inevitable.

You push inside and see the same woman as last time. You give the same order as you doubt she even recognises you. She hovers her finger over the touch screen of her till, "we have a special, a rose tea latte, if you're interested."

"Oh?" You scrunch up your lips, you've never been good at saying no. "Sure, I'll try that."

You got the change to pay and frown. You shouldn't be spending what's left on a tea. You should be smarter. Maybe if you were, you wouldn't be such a loser.

You sit and stare at the pink foam. You don't know if you can do this but what other choice do you have? You could just disappear but for how long? You'll run out of money. As hard as it was to get this job, you don't think a new one would be any easier when you have one reference. A reference who you don't expect a shining review from.

You sip carefully. It's delicious. You drop your forehead into your hand as hot tears brim your eyes. You fight to constrain them, nearly quaking with the effort. Your eyes are swollen enough as it is.

You continue to drink, keeping your head down, and finish before you resign yourself to fate. To face Mr. Laufeyson. You can do this, not because you're strong, but because you have to.

[nctsplug02]

i also want you to write for mrs suh and johnny (just like mrs jeong and jaehyun) 🥹🥹🥹

Misses Suh? j.suh

GENRE: fluff, smut, dilf and milf parents, halloween night!

WARNINGS: milf and dilf parents, young children are mentioned in this story (several month old-17 year olds), drinking, fluffy scenes, slight angst scene but not really, kissing, flirting, groping, oral sex (M receiving), sexual commenting, car sex, rough sex, riding in the backseat.

WARNING 2.0: chenle being the absolute cutest in the world.

DING DONG!

“trick or treaters already?” you wipe your hands on the ripped paper towel. “it’s only six?” you look away from the oven clock.

you grab the bucket of candy off the dinner table and walk to the front door only to see your husband has beat you to it.

“come on in, leslie!” a girl with her hair in short braids, a metal head brace on, her thick brown boots on, and books in her arms walk in.

“thanks, mister suh!” she comes in and quickly takes off her boots, neatly setting them aside.

“hey leslie, i thought you were a trick or treater!” you hold the big pumpkin bucket on your hip. “misses suh, you look so good!” she squeals.

you giggle and place a hand on your chest. “oh, thank you, honey.”

you and johnny were dressed as the joker and his ROD, harley quinn.

“now are you sure you don’t want to go trick or treating with your friends?” you pick at your nails while johnny joins your side.

johnny hugs your waist. “you can back out, just say the word.” johnny says with a nod.

leslie shakes her head firmly. “no ma’am and no sir. my friends are going with their families and i think i’m old enough to the point where i don’t need to go trick or treating anymore.”

“is that so?” leslie nods with a giggle and a snort ending it. “yes ma’am.”

“well, i’m gonna get my wallet so i can pay you now. just so i don’t forget.” you wink at the fourteen year old before leaving to the kitchen.

“don’t feel so bad, baby.” your husband follows you. “i can’t but help feel that way. i feel like we’re holding her back from living her childhood life.” you frown and unzip your wallet.

johnny bear hugs you, his chin on your shoulder. “she offered to watch our little min jung on halloween so, we aren’t doing anything wrong.”

“leaving a minor home alone with another minor?” you zip up your wallet after grabbing a fresh crisp $100 bill.

“she lives next door and her parents are home.”

you pause and laugh. “you just have an answer for everything, huh?” johnny hums, lightly grazing his red lips on your neck. “maybe.”

“no no, we start at my neighborhood then we start moving to the left.” haechan says coming down the stairs with his friends.

“hi haechan!” haechan flinches and jumps back. “leslie… how the hell did you get inside my house?”

leslie blinks and smiles. “oh, you don’t know? i’m babysitting your brother!” she giggles and ends off with a snort.

“yeah…okay, just don’t go in my room again.” leslie squeezes her books and nods.

a nudge pushes haechan forward. “uh…yeah, excuse us.” the group of boys squeeze past leslie who follows with her head.

“mom! dad! we’re going trick or treating, now!” haechan shouts with his hand on the door handle.

you usher to the front door. “already? it’s only six.” you frown and return with the cash fisted in your hand. “yeah, mom. we wanna go early so we can get the good king size candy bars. we’ll be back before ten, see ya—!”

“nuh-uh, uh, uh.” you shake your head while putting your hands on your hip. “lemme get a quick picture of you boys first.”

the seven of them line up, three of them squatting for the second photo.

“just one more,” you take a few more shots before haechan begins to whine. “no more, mom! we gotta go!” you glare at him and tsk. “donghyuck suh.”

haechan sighs and poses for the picture. “you boys look amazing!” you giggle at their costumes.

haechan as micheal jackson. (didn’t want to comply in the family halloween costume).

mark as spider-man. (with a big hole in the middle of the mask because haechan cut his breathing source too big).

renjun as a fox. (teased for being a furry).

chenle as jigsaw.

jaemin as a male harley quinn. (he refused to wear the booty shorts/skirt).

jeno as the joker.

lastly, the baby of the group; jisung who’s dressed as a white sheet cut out ghost. (he was lied to by the group that they were gonna go as white sheet ghosts).

“looks like we have ourselves some copycats.” johnny says, eating a kitkat. “it was unplanned!” jeno whines with jaemin agreeing.

“uh huh, sure. now, have fun trick or treating and be safe.” the boys who’s are kneeling stand back up and follow haechan who opens the front door and ushers them out.

“haechan,” you call out for the boy who halts and turns back to you. “what time should you be home?”

“ten.” you nod with a hum. “that’s right. any later than ten— i’m eating all your king size candy bars.”

haechan whines and is taken into your arms. “i love you, be safe.” you plant a kiss on his cheek. “you’re getting too tall.”

haechan was four inches taller than you but he still towered over you.

“i love you too, mom. don’t party too much, you’re getting old.” you scoff and shoo him out the house. “be safe, boys! i love you all.” you shout out the door before shutting it.

you turn to see johnny with leslie and the seven month old in her lap.

“looks like someone’s awake from their nap.” you walk over to the group and join johnny on the floor. “hey little mister, you’re gonna stay with our good neighbor, leslie.” you wipe min jungs’ drool off his cheek.

min jung coos and reaches out his arms to you. the three of you aw as you take him into your arms.

“now leslie, dear. i’ve left some instructions on the fridge. i also wrote emergency numbers—including my number and mister suhs.”

leslie nods. “yes ma’am. i’m sure we won’t be needing to use those emergency numbers! i’ve got it all under control. i took several baby classes so i’m pretty sure i know what i’m doing.”

you nod with a sigh. “alright,” you look at your husband who looks back at you. “you ready to head out?” he nods with a frown.

“okay, we’re gonna head out now. did you need anything before we leave?” leslie looks around and shakes her head. “no ma’am.”

“okay then, here he is. we have a whole bunch of snacks for you if you get hungry—and some backup bags of candy for the trick or treaters if we run out. i’m just gonna grab my bag then we’re gonna leave.” leslie nods and takes min jung back into her arms.

johnny stands and helps you up off the ground. “your bag.” he holds your bag up after helping you off the ground. “oh, thank you. i thought i left it in the kitchen.”

“nope.” johnny pats your hip and guides you to the front door where he watches you put on your boots.

“i’m gonna go start the car first so it warms up for you.” you nod and feel your heart flutter, for you.

johnny leaves the moment you finish lacing your boots. you give one more glance to leslie who makes the sleepy seven month old giggle.

“you sure you’ll be okay, leslie?” she looks back with a confused sound. “oh, yeah! we’ll be just fine, won’t we, min jung-ie?” she lifts the chunky boy up and makes him wave.

“okay then. i’ll see you later tonight. but if i don’t make it back before 10, leave baby with haechan.” leslie nods. “okay,” you extend, holding onto the door handle. “i’m going now. goodnight!”

when you shut the front door after you step out, you let out a deep breath.

it was the first time in months since you’d be leaving your son behind with a babysitter. it was always hard when leaving them even for a few minutes.

haechan was the hardest. since he was always attached to you, whenever you had to leave for work he would chase you out to the drive way whenever you tried leaving. some days you’d cave and stay with him until he eventually grew out of it.

you make your way to the car and johnny is standing by the passenger side with his phone to his ear. “—just make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. be back by ten and be safe.”

johnny hangs up and smiles when seeing you. “hey puddin’.” johnny opens the passenger side. “hey joker, who was that on the phone?”

“just my brother.” you climb into the passenger side. “mark?” johnny nods, watching you seatbelt yourself on. “i was just telling him that since he’s the oldest, don’t let them screw around too much.”

“it’s halloween and they’re teenagers. let’s just hope we don’t need to bail any of them out of jail tonight.”

johnny laughs. “if anyone’s going to jail tonight, it’s you. you’re too sexy to be walking around like this, baby.” you roll your eyes as johnny shuts the door and jogs to the driver side.

the two of you take off after johnny seatbelts himself in.

“cheers!” you squeal as you clink your long shot glass with the group of girls.

“nononono,” you whine when your shot glass is gently pulled away from you. “that’s too many shots tonight. especially for you since you’re a light weight.”

you pout and cross your arms. “i’m barely drunk! i’m like 2/4ths drunk.” you slur a bit. “sounds drunk to me.”

“please,” you scoff. “i’ve only had two cans and three shots.”

“yeah and those two cans took you an hour and a half to finish them.” johnny sets down the shot glass. “your point?”

johnny puts his hands on his hips—typical dad pose.

“it’s time for us to go home.” you whine and the girls join you. “we were supposed to be home two hours ago but you insisted we stay a few more minutes.”

“it’s halloween, john! loosen up!” taeils wife says while holding up a shot glass to you. “for real, johnny! don’t worry, dude—you’ll make it home in time to fuck your hot wife.”

you giggle with the girls at johnnys face and wrap your arms under his.

“i wanna fuck my hot wife when she isn’t heavily intoxicated.” johnny says, grabbing your ass under your skirt and then moving his hands up to your waist.

you whine once more and push yourself off johnny. “fine,” you fix his purple blazer with a pout. “we can go home since you’re that horny.”

johnny laughs, “sure, baby.”

johnny drags you to the car and buckles you in with reassurance and kisses. he settles himself in and drives off.

“wanna stop at a 7/11 so we can get some snacks for the drive home?” the drive home was approximately 45 minutes, taeil just had to buy a $3M house on the north side.

“mmm no, i have alcohol in my system and we’re driving—and that’s already not a good mix. but, if you want to get something, you can and i can feed you your snack so we don’t get pulled over.”

johnny laughs, slapping his hand on your thigh and rubbing the spot with his thumb after.

“it’s okay, baby. and, you’re right; beer and driving doesn’t mix well. don’t drink and drive.”

you sigh, “i think i can actually go for something to snack on.” johnny chuckles and makes a turn, driving to the nearest 7/11 and grabbing snacks.

“you got tuna kimbap?” you sort through the bag while johnny drives out the parking lot. “i got two.” johnny holds up a quick peace sign.

“mmm and you got some chocolate mochi balls on a stick?! oouuu! you even got some sweet potato chips!” you whine and pull out the treats.

you rip open the packaging of the chocolate mochi balls and you grab a stick. you yank one of the mochis and smack on the soft chewy dough. “want one?”

johnny looks at what you have in your hand and opens his mouth while his eyes stare at the road. “ahhh,” you say while johnny inhales the last two mochi.

“oh,” you stare at the stick. “oh, i’m sorry.” johnny muffles and laughs. “it’s okay, we have two more sticks.” you place the stick back into the packaging.

you grab the bag of sweet potato chips and you rip open the bag. “mmm, these ones are so crisp!” you nod and look in the bag, finding a nice big piece and plopping it in your mouth.

“me too, me too!” johnny says ahh and munches on the stack of potato chips you placed on his tongue.

as you continue to feed your husband, you realize the mess on his lap. “babe, you’re such a messy eater.” you brush away the crumbles.

johnny smirks and grips the steering wheel. “hmm, somebody’s excited.” you giggle and lightly squeeze the outline of his angry bulge. “and what for, hm?”

“i think you know what for.” you look at his phone, the maps app was open and it was directions on how to get home.

twenty minutes until home.

“this tesla can go autopilot, right?” johnny snickers at the way you asked the question. “we just got this car last week, my love. i’m not gonna risk it yet. not just yet.”

“next week?” there’s hope in your voice. “okay, sure, baby. next week.” johnny giggles.

you bite your lip and fiddle with his belt. “sooo,” you tilt your head and tug on his belt. “no autopilot…but, you didn’t say i couldn’t give you head while you drove us home?”

“you’re absolutely right about that, baby.” johnny glances at you and smiles. “you’re so smart.”

you undo johnnys belt and his pants. he lifts his hips a bit to give you some help on removing his jeans.

“i still can’t get over how lucky i am.” johnny scoffs as you press kisses on his tip. “i know, i’m a great catch.”

you fist him with two hands and smear the oozing precum. “and your dick is amazing.” you mumble before wrapping your mouth around his tip.

“oh shit,” johnny sighs and drops his heavy hand on your head.

you whine and push his hand off.

you’re a grown women, you don’t need assistance giving head. in this moment at least. winky face, winky face.

you moan and swirl your tongue around his tip. johnny curses loudly when you fondle his balls.

johnnys long and girthy, he knows he is. he’s proudly acknowledged that his wife chokes and gags on his dick and isn’t ashamed of it. so, when you force yourself down his shaft, tears instantly spring to your eyes.

“baby,” johnny pets your head. “baby, calm down.” you lift your head and use the back of your palm to wipe your lips. “don’t force yourself, it’s okay, baby. take your time.” johnny wipes your tears and kisses your lips.

you grab him by his base and retry but this time taking your time working down his dick.

while you work with johnnys length and girth, johnny notices your pretty ass in the air, swaying left and right. so, he lifts your skirt and gives you a few harsh spanks.

with tears dripping onto johnnys thighs, you still manage to fit his cock halfway down your throat before you’re pushing yourself off and gasping for air.

“good job, baby. you’re doing so good.” johnny wipes your cheeks, smearing your makeup as he does.

“i’m sorry,” you giggle when seeing his dick all messy with your red lipstick all over it and saliva slowly dripping down the sides of it. “i got a little messy.”

you don’t even notice when johnny pulls into the driveway until he puts the car in park.

“i love it when you’re messy. it turns me on so fucking much.” johnny pulls you in for a kiss, it turns heated and sloppy quickly.

“c’mere,” johnny lifts you out from the passenger side and drops you in his lap.

“uh,” you look back at the steering wheel and at johnny. “wanna push your chair back a little? it’s kind of crowded over here.”

you and johnny laugh while johnny pushes his chair back. “butt too big?” johnny pushes you on him and spanks you harshly that a moan fills johnnys ears.

“wanna just move to the back?” johnny suggests when feeling his legs cramp. “that’s a better idea.” you laugh and crawl to the back with johnny following.

you straddle johnny when he’s seated in the middle of the backseat.

“fuck, you sound so sexy.” johnny says while rubbing your ass.

johnny pulls your skirt to the side and rubs your pussy through your thong before pulling that aside as well.

“how’re we feeling tonight? eager or wanna take our time?” johnny asks, rubbing your clit with his fingers.

“eager,” you moan.

“that’s perfect.” you gasp as johnny pushes your hip down so that your cunt swallows him.

it was only the tip and you were already tensing up. “slow?” you nod, body shaking as you attempt to adjust to johnnys size.

even after birthing two human out of your vagina, johnnys size was still hard to adjust to. a lucky women you were.

“fuck,” you softly cry out when johnny bounces your hips.

your hand quickly grabbing his wrist and squeezing it tightly. “you okay, baby?” you nod, holding your breath.

“i just have to adjust—like usual.” you chuckle and slowly drop your hips, letting out a long hiss.

johnny has his hands on your hips, guiding you and reassuring you that you’re fine and that you’re doing amazing.

after settling for a few minutes, you give johnny a kiss and stare him down. “are you ready now?” you nod and giggle.

johnny smacks your ass and lifts your hips, rolling them down and repeating. “you’re so beautiful.” johnny says.

you kiss him and sit yourself up, letting johnny bounce your hips as you undo your top. “fuck,” johnny laughs and rolls his eyes when seeing your breasts drop in his face.

johnnys hands release your hips and attach themselves to your breasts. you giggle at his reaction and begin moving your hips on your own.

you moan loudly when feeling johnny nibble on your left nipple. his thumb rubbing the other in circles and sometimes giving them little pinches and tweaks.

you roll your hips and eager chase for your orgasm. moaning out loud and pulling on your husbands long locks.

johnnys cock being tugged and hugged tightly by your walls. “have i ever told you that i love your tits?”

“our first date.”

johnny laughs and buries his face in your breasts. it was like heaven with billions of the worlds best and most comfortable pillows around him.

“fuck,” you cry out and tighten your walls and thighs.

johnny releases your breasts and hugs your waist, holding you still and fucking himself into you. your little skirt bouncing with his thrusts.

johnnys pretty moans and grunts filling up the car along with your moans as johnny fucks you through your orgasm.

your tight walls clinging onto johnnys dick as he slides into you without any worries or problems. the sound of wet and skin slapping and meeting blend with the sounds of both you and johnnys moans.

johnny was very vocal during sex—praising you for every little thing you did, moaning when he felt the littlest bit of pleasure.

and johnny would tease you for being the loudest, as if.

johnny lets out a broken grunt when slamming his hips once more before freezing and staying still. his hips pushed up into yours while he forces his load inside you.

johnny pants out loud while slowly lowering his hips and holding his fucked out wife, you, to his chest.

sweat melting down his temples and nose, his makeup running with the sweat. your pigtails all messed up and lipstick smeared all over your mouth area.

“oh, puddin’.” johnny sighs with a big grin.

johnny lifts his head. “happy halloween, baby.” he kisses the top of your head and rubs your hips.

“it’s passed halloween,” you mumble and lift your head. “it’s november, baby. that means no nut november.” johnny laughs and shakes his head. “we failed didn’t we?” you nod and kiss his jaw.

after sitting for a few more minutes, just sitting in silence and making out like teenagers in the backseat of your car.

“ready to go inside, baby?” you nod and slide yourself off johnnys lap.

you and johnny clean up a bit before sneaking inside.

“i’m gonna go start us a shower, m’kay?” johnny presses a kiss on your head before tip toeing upstairs.

you go check on min jung who’s sound asleep in his crib with a bottle and haechans favorite stuffed brown bear next to him.

you leave the room and get jump scared by a tall figure. “misses suh?” it’s a soft voice. “chenle? what’s wrong, honey?” you cup the teens face and examine him in the dark.

“i thought i heard something but it was just you, i’m sorry.” you ruffle the sleepy boys hair and guide him to haechans room where everyone is scattered everyone and all asleep.

chenle stops after taking a step into the room. “misses suh?” you hum, holding onto the door handle. “i saved you some candy bars, it’s in the kitchen for you.”

you smile, “thank you, chenle. you’re a sweetheart. now get some rest, i’m sure you’re exhausted from trick or treating.”

chenle nods and joins jisung on the floor and under the sheets.

you shut the door and join johnny, briefly explaining to him about what happened with chenle before going for another round in the shower.

that’s an amazing way to end off halloween.

AN| happy halloween, my loves! i now i’ve been inactive but i’ve been so busy on the outside of tumblr. i love and miss you guys so so much! please be careful trick or treating (if you guys still go because me and sneakylink are planning to go HAHSKSJ). also, be careful at parties! >:c

AAN| i didn’t know whether it was “jen the babysitter” or a

love you guys! 🩷

[ofmdrecaps]

09/20/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Call To Action: David Jenkins; Samba Schutte; Con O'Neill; Hugo Pierre Martin; How To Help; Other Cast & Crew Sightings: Rhys Darby; Rosie Carnahan Darby; Taika Waititi; Samba Schutte; Leslie Jones; Guz Khan; Damien Gerard; Kristian Nairn; Hugo Pierre Martin;

Well folks. It sure is wonderful to be honking loudly with you again! (Clown or Goose, however you prefer to consider it!). This morning, David Jenkins started us all off with a very specific tweet that set off a chain reaction!

= David Jenkins =

It APPEARS that David is telling us, the fans, that OFMD is "available", and that Netflix is the streaming service to woo. Now, does that mean it's just being bought and streamed? Or perhaps being picked up by a Season 3? There has been some discussion that Netflix sometimes likes to stream a cancelled show before they greenlight another season-- and well, who knows, maybe that's what OFMD is in line for!

Source: David Jenkins' Instagram

= Samba Schutte =

Then a little later in the day... Samba started us up with a new #, #supnetflix!

Source: Samba's Instagram

= Con O'Neill =

Con joined in on the sharing!

Source: Con's Instagram Stories

= Hugo Pierre Martin =

Our "one-line" friend, Hugo Pierre Martin is back at it! He's supporting OFMD in every way he can!

Source: Hugo's Twitter / 2

The fans took David and the Crew's call to action by starting up a tweet storm! Our friends over at @adoptourcrew also kept the momentum going by putting up prompts!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

Some of our crewmates reminded us, and Netflix, we had the numbers :)

Source: Florence aka single_cat_mom on Twitter!

As of the time this post was put together, the trends got up to the following! Thank you to APurplePatch on Twitter for captureing them!

Source: APurplePatch Twitter

And a little schadenfreude for today's festivities! Thank you Ashley!

Source: Ashley aka Seven_Sugars on Twitter

Well there we are-- great job today crew! Sure is feeling good in the fandom today! If we can, let's keep the momentum up through tomorrow! Are you excited about the possibility of an s3? Well, feel free to join in the manifestations from our friend @xray-vex!

Source: Xray_Vex Twitter

== How To Help ==

I can't believe I'm saying this again-- but hey! Wanna help out with the renewal (or at least selling OFMD) effort? Please consider some of the following!

Sign the Petition if you haven't already! (Change.org DOES clear out non-confirmed via email signatures every once in a while, so be sure to check your email.)

Request Our Flag Means Death on the Netflix form!

If you're interacting with social media, use these hashtags: #OurFlagMeansDeath #supnetflix #AdoptOurCrew #SaveOFMD

== Other Cast & Crew Sightings ==

= Rhys Darby =

New Bill Napier Weather Update from Rhys today on his Substack! There was even a shout out to some of our crewmembers you might recognize! Give it a listen!

Source: Rhys' Substack

= Rosie =

More Kitten Content from the Darby Household! (why yes, I will use my one movie allowed per tumblr post to add kitten content, I regret nothing).

Source: Rosie Carnahan Darby's Instagram

= Taika Waititi =

Taika's back to his "influencer" phase again!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Taika Waititi (@taikawaititi)

Source: Taika's Instagram

= Damien Gerard =

Damien's finally getting to get some relief! Congrats sir!

Source: Damien's Instagram

= Kristian Nairn =

Kristian catching up with one of his old co-stars, Issac Wright!

Source: Kristian Nairn Instagram

= Samba Schutte =

I realized I shared Samba's pics last time, but didn't say much about the new campaign! Samba's new Shop Stands campaign is benefiting the LA Regional Food Bank! First up, you can get a hoodie version of the Crew For Life T-Shirt! - Crew For Life Hoodie

Next up-- Samba is back with another cooking class! This time it's Death By Cheese! Death By Cheese Class

EVENT DATE: NOVEMBER 9 EVENT TIME: 10AM PT/1PM ET EVENT LOCATION: ONLINE

Source: Shop Stands

= Guz Khan =

New season of Man From Mobeen! Not sure if there's a date yet...but looks like Guz is sharing some pics!

Source: Guz Khan's Instagram

= Leslie Jones =

Leslie was on the Jennifer Hudson Show a couple days back!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by The Jennifer Hudson Show (@jenniferhudsonshow)

Source: Jennifer Hudson's Instagram

= Hugo Pierre Martin =

In case you haven't heard, Hugo is doing a Spotify Audio Series! Wanna check it out? Visit: Spotify

Source: Hugo's Twitter

== Articles ==

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Love Notes ==

Alright, lovelies. I have so many things to say and yet no stamina to do so. I'll try to pick up tomorrow-- I just wanted to send this your way, I hope you find the ones who make you feel like you're basking in warmth and love, like the sun.

Source: StayCloseToYourself_ Instagram