#so when someone posts the same shit I’m like…
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
HABITS [ curly / reader ]
when it comes to picking coworkers, curly isn’t the most dependable. but.. the same could be said about keeping his feelings in check.
tags / ex - friends with benefits to lovers(?) | bittersweet | oral sex ( fem. receiving ) | slight praise kink | porn without plot | canon-divergence | chubby coded reader | curly isn’t 100% accurate & i am sorry this is my first time writing for him | curly is lowkey a liar but it’s okay | curly is big ( based off fanart mostly but also game ) | pet names | etc. if i forgot something please alert me.
notes / it has been like.. months since i last posted on tumblr. but i am slowly getting my spark back. this has also been cross posted on archive so if you see it there do not be alarmed. my writing is rusty, so please be nice with criticisms i’m quite sensitive 😭 but please do enjoy <3
“You look like shit.” You murmured softly, eyes carrying up the man’s form. You hadn’t expected anyone to be awake at this hour, let alone outside of their quarters. But whether to your dismay or pleasure someone had joined your little excursion, that someone being your beloved Captain; Curly.
Who looked to be teetering between the land of the dead and living. Bags lined those pretty eyes, a little red— surely from strain. When was the last time he got enough sleep? Was a thought that quickly passed your mind. Regardless you decided against asking, seeing as you were positive he wouldn’t have an answer for you anyway.
The Captain— Curly, allowed the corner of his mouth to lift; a humorous sigh escaping him. “Do I? Hadn’t noticed..”
“And here I thought Mr. Handsome prided himself on his vanity and dignity.”
The man shook his head at your usual flirty remarks, glancing about your own form. He took in the makeshift wrap of blankets you held around your pajama-clad body, noticing your feet covered in slippers. Not the proper attire obviously, but reprimanding you just didn’t seem worth it at the moment.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
You shrugged, eyes shifting away to glance at a wall. “More like didn’t want to. With so much work to be done I rarely get any time to my thoughts.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing.”
“For you.. maybe. I quite enjoy my mind.”
You smiled at the soft chuckle that escaped him, taking the moment to move just a bit closer. Again, your eyes landed upon those dreaded bags; hand rising slowly to his face. You watched as his eyes focused quite quickly, clearly puzzled by your sudden attention. Regardless he didn’t move, instead allowing your palm to press against his cheek— your thumb then moving to trace a bag.
“I’m serious though. It looks like you haven’t gotten sleep in days. Is something wrong?”
A flicker.. just a slight glint, drifted through his gaze. An emotion you couldn’t quite place but didn’t like regardless. You stood silently, watching as his hand rose before your own. Gentle fingers wrapped around your wrist, dragging your hand down his cheek — the abrasion of his facial hair tickling your palm — before pulling it away from him.
“It’s nothing for you to worry about [Name].”
Curly spoke, trying to keep his voice as level as possible. But you knew him. All, too, well. The man could hold water but there were times it spilled over just a little. Even if he didn’t explicitly say it, you knew his concern was something big— something that definitely affected you.
“Captain stuff, huh?” You said slowly, hand pulling away from his own in a dejected fashion. You couldn’t help but feel that way, eyes drifting away almost stubbornly.
“I thought our relationship was above such titles.”
“[Name]—“
You shook your head, Curly clamming up in response. Times like these were exactly why you regretted taking the man up on his offer. The promise of lines not being crossed was a discussion made in the same breath, yet here you were; questioning why exactly your past relations meant little to his decision to be secretive.
But it was just relations.. right? Just sex, a way to blow off steam. People that sleep together with no love shouldn’t act like this anyway.
Your eyes finally lifted from its stubborn gaze on the wall and back to the blonde before you, attempting to seem unfazed by the intense stare he was delivering you.
You forced a smile. “I’m just messing with you, Captain. Lighten up a bit.”
Curly continued to stare before coming close, a single footstep that pressed against the metal beneath the two of you. You nearly forgot how large the male was; broad and tall, staring down at you with those bag lined.. beautiful eyes. He reached over, fingers ghosting the back of your hand for a moment before grabbing it.
This caused you to shiver, eyes widening slowly as you watched the man bring it back to its previous place; right at his cheek. He used his own appendage to assure you cupped his face.
“I know you well enough to know when you’re joking or not, [Name].” Curly spoke lowly, eyes flickering between multiple spots on your face. “Right now.. I don’t want to worry you. It’s something I’ll figure out, but I will let you know soon.. I promise.”
That’s what you hated most about Curly. Even if you were clearly worried about him, he just loved to spin it so he could worry about you. All while easing such worries with the prettiest words. a master of the tongue. In more ways than one.
The flush of warmth that broached your cheeks was hard to ignore, eyes fluttering to the ground as his gaze grew intense. You allowed your thumb to trace his skin, teeth grazing the inside of your cheek. You promised yourself you wouldn’t let such thoughts or feelings resurface. Strictly professional was your own personal mantra.
Yet here you were, holding the cheek of the man you’ve been pining for— desperately wanting to touch more.
And that you did.
Against better judgement, head clear of thinking— you pressed forward, allowing your lips to brush against his own. You felt his breath stutter, body growing still at your bold action. This allowed your eyes to rise, batting thick eyelashes at the man as you spoke:
“Then.. until then, why don’t I take your mind off of it?”
You solidified your words in a single kiss, free hand clutching your blanket that threatened to slip. You felt the hand on your own slowly fall, clearly from shock. You couldn’t blame him. This was going against everything the two of you decided on. Everything the two of you have built since being onboard of this ship.
Even so, you didn’t mind destroying it— nor did your beloved captain.
Large hands slid under your blanket, finding the small of your back. With a pull you were flush against his form, the kiss deepening. Soft lips collided in a gentle battle, that slowly became fierce as time passed. Feelings buried deep began to bubble over, creating that haze that left you breathless. You could only moan as his tongue slid across your lips, effectively parting them. There, Curly took his time to claim your mouth as his once again, coating each and every inch with his saliva.
Your hand slid from his cheek to a large shoulder, gripping him so tightly as your knees began to buckle. Any longer and you were sure you would topple over right then and there.
Desperate for air Curly reluctantly pulled away, staring at that little string that connected the two of you. Heavy breaths escaped you, causing the want developing deep in his stomach to just burn even more. His eyes lifted away from you for a moment, an inner turmoil playing behind his eyes.
He was the Captain. He didn’t have time to play hooky and hook up with an old fling. Curly had duties.. responsibilities and expectations. And yet, as his flicked back to your form; so wanton and palpable— any thought of being the revered Captain of Tulpar escaped quite quickly.
Leaving behind Curly. A man who couldn’t quite help his desires. And a man who wasn’t the best at picking his coworkers.
“Come here.” Curly spoke softly, tugging you close before leaning; slipping his hands under your legs and lifting you easily.
The butterflies in your stomach tumbled and tumbled, threatening to spill from your mouth the moment he stepped towards his room. Effortlessly, as if your body meant completely nothing. Oh how you loved whenever he showed off his strength.
The door slid open routinely, revealing the simple quarters. A bed, desk, and dresser— surely filled with underwear and extra uniforms. The air was cool, perfect yet you couldn’t help but shiver the moment the man laid you across his sheets. A breath caught in your throat as he climbed over you, a hulking mass covering your line of vision only allowing you to see him.
Curly’s hands pressed against the mattress beneath you, leaning down to steal your lips once again. His light beard brushed against your skin, a feeling that caused you to chuckle, a feeling you missed.. feeling. Your hands rose, collecting his face into your palms as you deepened the kiss. Soft smacks of passion passed throughout the room as lips tangled in a secret conversation.
A hand rose from the mattress, treading down your plump form to find the edge of your shirt. His fingers, ever so gentle, slid under the fabric to spread across the span of your warm stomach. You sighed into his mouth, reeling into his touch as it grew higher and higher— soon skimming the bottom of your breasts.
“Curly..don’t tease.” You pulled back to speak, eyes focused on his features. You couldn’t help the pulse between your thighs the moment an impish smile crossed his features.
“I’m not, just.. remembering.”
With his soft murmur Curly was lifting your shirt off your body, placing it somewhere on the bed. Lowering, his breath fanned across your warm skin, gentle kisses pressing against your neck.
You hissed, eyes pinching closed, as your hands lowered to grasp his arms. Your lips parted as a large hand soon covered one of your breasts, gently squeezing whilst his thumb brushed against your hardening nipple.
As much as you wished to beg for more you knew better than to do so. Curly wasn’t a person that rushed when it came to these things. He enjoyed taking his time, building your pleasure bit by bit so when the main event happened you were completely lost in ecstasy. And as annoying as it was to admit, you couldn’t help but love his attention to detail.
The kisses lowered to the valley of your chest, tongue gliding across the hot skin, sliding to your untouched nipple. The man mumbled against your flesh, licking and sucking; delivering such sweet attention you couldn’t help the bated breaths beginning to form.
Should you be worried? The others weren’t close but weren’t far. And you highly doubt any of them would want to be waken by your less than professional “activities”.
Unfortunately, as Curly’s other hand traveled low concern for their sleep slowly drifted away.
You whimpered softly as his hand breached your pants and panties, fingers gliding across your slick slit for a moment before using two to spread you gently. Fuck.. was the simple sigh that escaped you as his middle finger easily found your swelling bud, rubbing it into slow circles.
“Fu..fuck Curly, I’m supposed to be taking your mind off work.”
Curly lifted from your breast, nipple red and slick from his constant attention. “Oh don’t worry, you are.” The man confirmed, allowing a finger to slide lower— pressing against your entrance. With ease it was slipping in, velvety walls swallowing the thick digit greedily.
“Now all I can think about is you, your body, your reactions.. how much I missed when you’d…—“ As another finger of his slid in, the Captain curled them ever so slightly, watching intently as your lips parted wider, a breathy moan escaping your throat.
“— did that.”
His lips curled, clearly delighted. Would it be cocky to admit he loved the way you didn’t change? How he still remembered every single button to press? It was if.. you were made perfectly, just for him.
That, or Curly ruined you for every other man.
The man released your breast for a moment to tug your bottoms down, allowing him to watch his fingers appear and disappear into your wet snatch. Soft plaps escaped from between your pretty thighs, arousal trickling down his appendages and surely to your taint.
His mouth couldn’t help but water, and without thinking the man was lowering closer. Curly’s lips parted above your cunt, breath fanning across the wet heat for a moment before covering your sweet little bud. His free hand quickly came to rest on your lower stomach, only to then decide to hold you down with his forearm.
There; unable to move, his lips sucked your swollen clit, beard brushing across you so deliciously.
A swear dropped from your lips, hands flying to your mouth to cover more sounds that threatened to spill. Your legs fluttered, a warmth brewing deep in your tummy— one you haven’t felt in months. Sure, when you could you rubbed one out — unfortunately without your beloved vibrator that hadn’t made it on Tulpar with you — but this was different. A feeling you couldn’t quite replicate with your own fingers or imagination.
His fingers were just so much longer, bigger; filling and stretching you perfectly. Pushing against your warm walls, curling to press against spots you couldn’t achieve. And even as your clit began to sting at the sensitivity, the pleasure was far more overwhelming.
Tears sprung at your eyes and through a glossy gaze you were taking Curly in. His own eyes were closed, heated breaths and groans fanning against your cunt as he devoured you effortlessly. Such a fucking messy eater. And you loved it.
As the pleasure brewed, forming into a band bound to snap you allowed a hand to lower to his hair, fluffy blonde locks sliding through the gaps of your fingers as you clung to him. Your legs shook, body arching off the bed as your other hand held your mouth so harshly you were sure there were scratches on your cheek.
“Fuck..!” Slammed against your palm in a muffled cry, body clenching as you came undone. You heard an all too familiar groan of pure delight as Curly gently lapped you up, withdrawing his fingers but refusing to remove his arm.
Whimpers of overstimulation did nothing to him, the man continuing to clean you up until he was satisfied. And when he finally was, he rose, the bottom half of his face coated with your mess.
Your hand lowered from your mouth, soft pants escaping. “I hate you.”
“Do you?” Curly was quick to answer, moving his arm to instead grasp your thighs. He lifted you a bit, pulling your bottom closer to him. Once you nodded the man chuckled, thumbs gliding across the marks that were painted across your hips.
“I don’t believe that. Not one bit.”
You opened your mouth to retaliate, but was left silently searching for snarky banter as you watched the captain’s hands move towards his slacks. There, his thumbs caught the waist band of his bottoms, tugging them down to reveal that sharp v-line and much more. Curly was a large man, everywhere. His length was thick, a round tip— bulging red with an angry vein traveling down his pale shaft.
You wondered if a pillow would be better than your hands at this point.
“Thought you were gonna say something..”
Curly teased, pulling his bottoms down the rest of the way and tossing them with your pile of clothes. He could only chuckle as you shook your head, crawling over your form to hover a breath’s away from you.
“Good.”
The man was smart to capture your lips as the moment you felt his length prod and push, you couldn’t help the little cry escaping you— perfectly muffled by his own mouth.
The stretch burned, burned so damn good you could have came again just from that. Curly was a gentleman of course, pushing in slowly, allowing you to grow accustomed to his size after so many months.
About halfway you were pulling away from his lips, head pressed against the pillow beneath you as sharp pants escaped you. Curly’s hand brushed your hip whilst the other cradled your face.
“That’s good.. breathe, you can take it all— can’t you?” His voice was sweet, soothing as his hips continued to push— plunging deep inside of you.
Your eyes were struggling to stay open, pretty groans falling from your tongue, easing into a sigh the moment you felt his hips stop; now fully seated within you. The feeling was mildly uncomfortable, even with his loving preparation, but you could make do.
You have before.
Curly leaned down, pressing his lips to your face, peppering them across his skin. Your forehead, under your eye, your nose, lips, and chin— everywhere he could reach. Attempting to soothe you even more.
Your hands rose gliding under his shirt to instead press against his broad, muscular back. Your finger tips traced little shapes across his skin, soon curling to allow your nails to scrape the moment he moved his hips.
Curly began to pull them back slowly, allowing only the tip inside before pushing forward. A single motion that caused the both of you to shudder, pleasure quickly brewing once more.
Soon enough with little restraint, Curly started a gentle pace. Back and forth, a hand on your waist whilst the other kept him upright. His length pressed into you deeply, pushing against a spongy spot that caused stars to invade your vision.
Your eyes were screwed shut, mouth lax as whimpers of passion escaped you sharply. Your nails dug and dragged into his back, an ache forming in your hips as his simple thrust became drills.
Curly couldn’t help himself at this point. He’s been holding back for far too long. Every interaction, every playful banter, every secret exchange of the eyes— played within in his mind. The man was smart enough to acknowledge how stupid he was. Playing with yours and his feelings, pretending your past didn’t matter; that coworkers were a status that you could achieve.
But no. He was fooling himself. There’s no way in hell, especially after this, was the man going to be able to go back to just being coworkers.
“Curly.. fuck, fuck— they’re gonna hear—!” You cried, legs shaky and wrapped tight around his waist. In the midst of his haze had suddenly increased his speed, ferocity; placing nearly his entire weight behind each thrust. Your eyes were rolling back at this point, nearly lost to the pleasure if it wasn’t for the sudden banging of the bed against the wall.
That fear of being discovered nearly killed your high.
Fortunately, Curly heeded your concerns, his hand lifting from the bed to instead grip the metal railing. You nearly gushed on the spot, watching his eyebrows pressed close, focusing so intently on your pleasure. His grip on your hip nearly mirrored the bed, refusing to release you. Every thrust you took, pushing you deep into the mattress as your breath threatened to leave.
“Mi..missed you.. I missed you so much.” Curly huffed, pants escaping his open mouth as his thrusts never faltered. The wet sounds of skin on skin filled the room, a steady rhythm to accompany his thrusts.
You tugged him closer by his back, shoving your face into his neck with your mouth directly against his ear. You wished to reply, expressing you felt the same exact way— even more. But of course you were left to only moan and gasp, his name coming out in struggled cries that only stirred him up even more.
Moments of your intense passion continued until your peaks grew closer, the two of you struggling even harder to keep your voices level. Maybe you two truly didn’t give a damn who heard.
“Curly!—“ His lips were colliding with yours in moments, sealing the deal as you came undone for the second time that night. You gushed around him, coating his dick with your thick essence— trickling to his sheets.
The man, releasing a final groan right into your mouth, pushing deep; releasing inside of you. Filling you to the brim.
The captain’s hips slowly settled, yet his lips continued to cover your own; moving slowly and lovingly. Curly released the bed frame to instead cup your face, cool fingers an ease to your hot skin.
Soon enough the two of you pulled away, a soft groan escaping you as the man slowly slid out of you. You tried to ignore the rather unpleasant feeling of his release slowly trickling out of you, instead focusing on the man above you— who was currently smiling.
Your swollen lips flattened into a pout, hands rising from his back to instead rising to his face.
“Don’t smile at me, Captain.”
Curly chuckled, hands sliding under you to lift whilst he sat up. Pulling you onto his lap, the man cradled your waist, thumbs brushing across your skin.
“It’s habit at this point, my love.”
You couldn’t help your own smile, arms wrapping around his neck, leaning to give him a small peck.
“Mhm..” You only hummed, eyes closing in a blissful manner as his forehead pressed against your own.
“No matter what, I’ll always be here to support. You know that, right?”
“I know, [Name]. I know.”
#black fanfic writer#black fanfiction#black tumblr#black!reader#x reader#black reader#chubby reader#poc writer#mouthwashing#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#curly x reader#curly x reader smut#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x you#curly x you#curly x you smut
139 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some of yall have GOT to stop paraphrasing my posts 😭😭 it’s quite obvious and you’re lucky I’m not confrontational UGH
#there’s a reblog button did you know?#I’ve had to block some folk bc of this#it’s so annoying#it’s obvious because no one reaches the way I do 💀#so when someone posts the same shit I’m like…#logging off
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
WOE, NEXT SUMMER DESIGNS FOR SOME OF THE GRAVITY FALLS KIDS, GO!
Click for Quality!
Pt 1/2/?
#I’ll post the next batch when I finish the grunkles#I don’t like my first attempt so I need to redo them#aria draws#digital art#digital drawing#fanart#these designs may or may not be used in an AU I might post about… and whenever I post about curly I’ll use these designs too#the AU and curly aren’t related but they take place at the same time#just in separate universes#why am I rambling half of y’all don’t give a shit bout curly 💀#gravity falls#gf#gravity falls fanart#gf fanart#dipper and mabel#mabel and dipper#dipper pines#mabel pines#gideon gleeful#pacifica northwest#robbie valentino#wendy corduroy#also yes I know Robbie isn’t canonically ginger he’s canonically brunette but someone in a discord server I’m in suggested it and I love it#sue me!
682 notes
·
View notes
Text
A thing about trying to plot out QS canon-divergence fixit where the marriage is averted is that the obvious solution to “she was already pregnant before they knew the truth” is, well, end the pregnancy. The wider world doesn’t seem to know that she’d conceived prior to marriage, so can’t be more than a month or so along as of the wedding for it to be plausible. People have been inducing abortion in dire circumstances despite physical risk and moral stigma throughout history. QS has magic at her disposal and the means to remove herself from society unnoticed during the recovery period, and even if it’s taboo, is it more taboo than incest?
#tfw when the text’s misogyny results in everyone operating on post-Roe Texas logic#*post-Dobbs rather#like come on JGY grew up in a brothel he would know how shit gets done#I can only see him not suggesting it if he’d witnessed someone dying from attempting to give themselves an abortion#and his panic brain was like ‘it would be Just Like That and she would DIE HORRIBLY so we must marry!’#and even then it doesn’t explain why QS’s parents wouldn’t suggest it!#or (more distressingly yet still plausibly) pulling a Hoster Tully and forcing it#don’t mind me I woke up in the middle of the night and started pondering and now I’m grumpy#bc it’s like you either have to go FULL divergence where she and JGY never hook up at all#or you don’t give her the information until she’s already in the marriage and her options are much more limited#bc if she finds out at the same time JGY does possible outcomes either feel like a PSA about the importance of abortion access#or (if she marries someone else or otherwise sticks it out) GOP glurge about how keeping a pregnancy is always fine and good in the end#miscarriage cw#just in case
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
I genuinely did not notice at first but they swapped his eyes around? I know it’s concept art but I’m curious on why
#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#shadow milk cookie#not tagging pv because he doesn’t matter here#the rest of his design seems the same so either this was late in development or he just always looked like that#he looks soooo good in that lighting. in game he’s a bit… he looks like someone threw various shades of blue paint on him.#and the vibe he gives off… I fear the fandom might see him as only the manic jester type when he’s more like a coy snake waiting to strike#don’t ask me what that means I’m tired and hardly even thing about the shit I post anyway
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
maybe i’m just feeling really sad and stuff right now (i am, at least when this is queued, but that’s not the point) but i really REALLY wanna write something that just. makes someone sob. like yeah i joke that “i can never write happy stuff if it’s not upsetting it’s not mine sorry” but i feel like i never nail the raw emotion. i feel like i either lean too much or not enough into the “cliches” for it to work right. i wanna write something that just hits in the chest so hard so naturally, like i’m reading you perfectly at your worst. i want the sob to be genuine. and i wanna make it worth it. does that make sense??? idk. i know i’m still a “beginner” (haven’t been dedicated to writing poetry for even a year yet tbh; it was a hobby until my first class last semester) but like. this is my ultimate goal tbh. if i write something that resonates so strongly with someone that they cry and/or carry it for the rest of their life in a way that either hurts or haunts or relieves or maybe all of the above, then i guess i was a good poet.
or smthn idk
#idk my ‘making it’ has never been grand to me#even when i wanted to write stories my goal was always ‘if one person enjoys it then it’s good enough for me’#like. i don’t know if i want my work to outlive me in a grand way. i just want it to resonate#i want it to make the average probably queer probably isolated probably traumatized kid to feel so seen#if i can sincerely impact somebody with any of my work in any way that just haunts them in any emotion then. i guess my work was good enough#you know????#idk i’m still feeling emotional rn but like there’s a sentiment i’m trying to say but i can’t seem to say it right#if i can’t do that in my own tags how am i supposed to do it in a poem (/hj) 😭#like. like when i heard we’ll never have sex for the first time!! it was everything i’ve ever felt about my aceness!!#and yeah it’s an ace anthem to me and it’s beautiful but it still makes me cry yknow!!#because it’s beautiful yet sad to me (as someone who can never make that relationship stick) at the same time!!!#i want my shit to hit like that!!!#grace being kinda serious for once#text post#personal#poetry
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I alluded to this in tags awhile ago but like. IK continuity doesn’t work this way and when things shifted from kooky and silly 40s stuff with psas scattered to like dark brooding whatever we’re supposed to take it as like either time passing with some hand waving to personalities or ‘it was always like this for them trust’ but thinking about dick specifically going from holy galloping grasshoppers Batman to dealing with Bruce in spyral and shit is so so so sad I can’t articulate it well rn but like everyone kinda agrees the shift happened after two face and jason but like no dick saw it all he saw it while it happened he saw Bruce taking tim to baseball games and then gaslighting him at 16 he saw the man who’d take care of a random baby on the fly threaten to send his youngest son back to the league he saw the man who helped usher in a new era of young heroes treat Steph like shit he saw the man who inspired hope for a future in civilians heroes and enemies alike take advantage of cass’ suicidal thoughts and separation from her own humanity he saw everything and he just has to. Deal. To everyone else this is just Bruce and ppl like Tim and cass justify it to an extent bc they love him and get exasperated and when Dick is angry but how couldn’t Dick be angry? That’s his dad and he’s being so fucking mean and idk I’m rambling
#i promise this is better thought out on the daily Im so so tired rn autocorrect is saving me#and It’s like the lighthearted era of the 40s smacking someone across the face into shit like throwing him into Jason’s memorial#like It’s not even whiplash bc it’s always happened it’s just. aaruhdsjak#and this is why I hate the entire thing where Bruce does nothing and it’s ALL terrible writing like#they had Superman doing corporal punishment bro idk#and not saying that’s good or necessary today I’m just saying unfortunately for Bruce Stans literally everyone is shaped by his behavior#It’s why they’re so fucked to eachother too#like the reason perfect dad bruce who’s only issue is miscommunication is annoying bc u#sets up every following issue tk ve of the same vein#he and Jason DONT have genuine morality clashes that usually end up violent and beLetha#near lethal bc they’re both secure in their own righteousness#It’s ‘they need to talk and Jason needs to call alfie and gl#go to Sunday brunch and Bruce needs to be okay with killing the really really bad ppl :(‘#like no bro sorry they’re not as wishy washy as u 🙄#that’s a joke#Im not saying bruxe should hit his kids I’m just saying when he does it’s not automatically the writer doesn’t know him#they might know him all too well actually#also it’s just the way it’s framed for me sorry I think Conflict is interesting#so bruce growing up (at 60 lmao) and dick just having to deal with it is sooo#like idk IK dc is trying to happy family Damian and Bruce rn but to me Bruce DID get somewhat better but Damian can’t ades#address tough shit without feeling luke he’s dragging it and rlly he should be grateful they’re turning a blind eye tk his mistakes so he#goes along with it#pretend the soulless ‘i hate you bc I’m insecure and secretly think ur my favorite Drake!’ is actually#‘i know the role I need to play in order to keep things smooth and if u#i talk to any of you genuinely I’ll explode and also you’ll hate me and also I think I’ll hate you I think I already do so’#that’s my coping#and thats for me personally like this entire post Is how I personally like to see it#i like happy go lucky batfam in microdoses except WFA y will not be forgiven for what u did to Duke#also for the og post I have a whole thing about how Bruce’s attempt to separate the man and the mask causes him to do crazy shit to his kids#but diff time THATS just how I get my middle between incorrect quotes bruce and dudebro bruce tbh
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m sure someone on here has said this before, but i think cis tiktok really took “feminine in a masculine way” and ran with it without realizing that the appeal of being feminine in a masculine way to genderqueer people, especially afab genderqueer people, isn’t just looking hot or whatever. it’s specifically the discordance of being perceived as masculine and performing femininity.
Like, you see cis women on tiktok with the caption “trying to be feminine in a masculine way!” and then they’ll wear these super femmey suits with their hair back and like. that’s cool i guess? i’m glad you feel confident. but the angst that genderqueer people feel over wanting to be feminine in a masculine way is derived from how this feeling almost seems like an impossible goal. like, femininity is standard for women, so when people perceive you as a woman and you dress feminine there’s no perceived deviance at all. you’re just dressing and acting like how a woman should, according to the audience of people who see you on the street. The part you feel that you lack when you say ‘in a masculine way’ is the part where your femininity gets to be nonstandard.
there’s almost a kind of grossness to when cis men in particular do femininity. it ranges at times from “haha ironic comedy, isn’t it so WEIRD and WACKY when men wear skirts???” gross to something almost demonic (like how men wearing makeup were treated at the height of the satanic panic). there’s like, falseness. like the femininity is separate from you somehow, as a facade, and that there’s some kind of clash between the femininity and the person underneath. and i’m not saying those are good things- the opposite, it’s really, really bad that we treat gender deviance this way. but the longing for this experience as an afab genderqueer person is the longing to exist in a role that is non-normative without sacrificing the things we love about femininity, and to be able to be feminine without having that related back to some quintessential nature of your gender as determined by broader society. I honestly feel like Natalie Wynn described this really well when she said that for her, as a woman, there’s no “de-dragging” where the womanhood falls away from her and she ceases to be feminine in a way that a drag queen might after a performance is over. I think what genderqueer people want when they want to be feminine in a masculine way is to have that ability, to have their femininity be a costume that they can take off at will.
anyways all this to say that i don’t think cosplaying as modcloth-workwear girlboss is going to help me achieve my gender euphoria goal of old church ladies sneering at me in derision every time i wear a dress. although honestly that is a great idea for a drag queen character
#this is an extremely funny post for me to make as someone who has denied the non-binary accusations for as long as i have#like girl you are not fooling anyone with the she before the they in your pronouns. be real#oc#non-binary#genderqueer#feminine in a masculine way#obviously i don’t speak for all genderqueer people#but like. i’d love for femininity to be something i can take off when i’m not longer in the mood for it#and not something that people view as being ‘inherently attached to my essence as a woman’ or whatever#i don’t have an essence of a woman. i have like. a poorly functioning intestinal tract#the thing that is inside of me is slimy organs. please stop ascribing gender onto my nasty weird little body#there’s honestly something so alluring about giovanni pota he’s spiky pink mullet and stubble and black nail polish#like. the image of a skirt that doesn’t fit quite right on you because your hips and waist are about the same circumference. so it’s like#mismatched???#and then the idea of wearing eyeliner but having like. stubble and acne#UGH. and like. dresses that have built in cups but you don’t have a bust? to fill it out???? auughhhh i wish i didn’t have a massive rack#like my body is SO traditionally feminine in figure i have such an hourglass silhouette and like the long legs and shit#and like. i feel like i look great maybe 40-45% of the time#i love filling out a fit and flare dress when i’m going out to hang out with lesbians and feeling very sexy in that context#but i don’t want that to be permanent yknow. there’s a restriction there that i despise#giovanni potage. idk why that corrected to pota he#considering potage is a word. fuck autocorrect
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
“we are bound by the same sins” is such a raw fucking line and i cannot remember who said it but it’s just so fucking good
#it’s 1:15 am and i am sobbing over this line#it’s the religious trauma#i’m breaking my rule of posting past like 9 pm 🏃♀️#the quote hits so different when ur a closeted queer kid in the rural south#with friends who are also closeted queer kids in the rural south#i swear i walk into my school’s gsa club meetings and i can just feel the solidarity of ‘the same sins bind us’#we might be different we might hate each other we might wish we never met in the first place but that all be damned the same sins bind us#the feeling when u see someone u hate A Lot going through it bc of transphobia and u just have to forget ur hatred and help em#it’s so weird bc like. now i’m the gsa vice prez. i’m one of the ppl that dozens of queer kids in a rural southern town look to.#that’s. holy shit.#ah i’m ranting in the tags again#it’s ok i can have some emotional vulnerability. as a treat.#i don’t get gushy often might as well let it be over a sick quote#sorry for dumping all this in the tags. lmao.#i don’t think anyone will see this tho (or actually read all of these tags) so that’s good ig#idk. i’m tired. good night.#uh oh clo’s talking again
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
i mean it’s just kinda crazy cause. and forgive me if i sound somewhat spoiled here but. this trip im doing to take more credits and get experience and make connections etc is obviously expensive and i talked abt it with my parents. a lot before trying to do it. and somehow my dad didn’t understand that yk we would have to pay for it. ??? and is putting me in this spot of ‘figuring out what we’re gonna do about it’ and it’s like dude. i mean i’m going i paid for my fucking flights you know i’m. regardless i’ll be there. and i make $10/hr i have not been able to work consistently and when you don’t have thousands and thousands of dollars just sitting there accumulating more interest it doesn’t fucking last. like what exactly do you want me to say? i’ll drain all my accounts and give what little i have to you? tldr my main point here is the only way this man truly shows any kind of affection is through money and since he fucked me up im glad to take advantage of that lol like why wouldn’t i. so to have it thrown back in my face is just um an awful feeling. like im not even worth this to you. this is just too much. it truly does feel like someone put a number on love and im just not up there
#it’s not like we ever took trips or vacations or had super nice things or even. you know. like fucking furniture#and to be clear even when he does help me out with stuff it’s held over my head so it’s truly not even a good way of showing. love.#if you want to say that. like of course i’m grateful that i haven’t had to struggle to make ends meet in the way many people do because i#have his money and i’m not trying to pretend i don’t but like. i’ve also had fucking anxiety attacks thinking about spending money and#basically how much i would owe him for my whole life. like how do i buy myself out of obligation here.#and i never could rn i don’t have Money money#but he truly pulls the same shit he does on my mom like ‘well where does it all go???’#dad. i don’t have piles of money sitting around. oh i made 2000 at my summer job? wowzers incredible that goes so fucking fast#when i’ve had to pay to break my lease and something else for school and bills and groceries#and yeah ok let’s not pretend i don’t sometimes go out with people. and everything’s so expensive now. but even so i have a heart attack#any time i spend more than like 20 dollars so. i usually don’t.#it’s just sooo… 😵💫 like. damn yeah i do wish i had parents that just Took Care of things and i didn’t have to worry. but it’s like. i do ta#money from him and then i’m just expected to grovel forever and ever#which is why i do need to be more financially independent from him i literally can’t wait for that day i need to make actual money at some#point but i am just not someone who can work full time and go to school and the only way i qualify for my scholarships is if i go full time#and graduate on time so. here we are 👍#abby talks#aaaaand post. lmfao
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Someone I follow is occasionally complaining about house prices in the US and at first I was like: yeah I know you can’t get anything below 300k anymore much less in cities where 500k+ is more the norm. But. They dropped some prices and apparently they were talking about 200k houses???? Like where do you find those I’m begging
#I know I know the experience is not the same#we have a higher minimum wage and probably the quality of houses is better#not to mention the difference between dollar and euro#although 200k in dollars is only 184k in euros#so I guess that doesn’t explain shit#also aren’t taxes lower in the US?#the highest tax bracket is 37…#I pay 42 I think…#imagine only pay 10 percent of your income to taxes#someone who earns 100k a year apparently only pays 18% taxes#what is so expensive in the US then that everyone is complaining always?#because the thing they have instead of VAT is nowhere above 13.5%#fyi in the Netherlands we have 9% for food and 21% for other things#but I don’t think all us Americans are complaining about nothing when they talk about money so I’m genuinely curious where their money goes#i made an original post#like there’s an apartment on sale behind my room for almost 600k#I stand by the fact that that’s a ridiculous price and hey it hasn’t been sold yet it has been months#but like that does illustrate stuff#I do not even live in a big city#anyway I’m confused#economics#anyway so to recap my genuine question is: where does the money go
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know I talk a lot about how fandom doesn’t realize how fucking bigoted it is in every aspect bc they get turned on by gay men and go by sock and that means they’re progressive but it hit me when someone with a viktor pfp is in the comments getting gassed up (ha. You’ll see in a second) by other braindead bitches for saying piltover gassing (get it) the streets is not bad and is actually appropriate to do in order to find one person. Like how the fuck do you watch arcane and agree with the enforcers. How is the propoganda working for you when you’re looking at EVERY angle. I will sound insane if I connect this to common viewpoints on stuff irl and I do have enough tact not to do this however I will say it’s less surprise and more. Watching another dominoe fall after it wobbled for a few minutes. What the fuck
#it be two stupid ass bitches telling eachother exactlyyy or whatever#and like#I promise it’s gonna become a topic of convo in tiktok in like a month and I’m gonna come on here vindicated and pissed#but the second you realize the ppl around you are also in fandom and the attitude they take into their escapism is not so different from#their attitudes irl the patterns pattern guys#like if you ignore speak over and tone police black ppl and fandom ik what ur doing at that little rally u posted a pic of u attending#if you think black characters need to prove why they should exist in the same space as ur white faves#when u infantilize white characters and take their best moments and even traits (traits which are often actually from said black characters)#I know what the fuck you are#that’s disjointed as fuck but I promise u bro it’s like#anyways my point is#I was not surprised by the ‘Batman wouldn’t care who u voted for’ shit#same ppl arguing that Batman is actually a leftist king get all their comic info from a 40 yr old white woman that has 3 Duke posts on her#whole page says steph was too annoying to care about at 14 uses cass as a live in therapist for her faves and calls Damian feral#like idk man. maybe think#Uhm that’s all disjointed as fuck but it makes sense#or it will soon#Idk but like ppl are so mad at the keep politics out of booktok ppl and yeah#but do you know that’s what u sound like when u say there’s no racism in WFA or make up literal charts to prove why there’s more than enough#poc in batfam and Damián should actually be pale bc yadda yadda#do you know that you don’t start existing in a void when you put the book down and hop on Twitter#it’s also the way they didn’t even have to convince you of anything#oh back to arcane#Like they didn’t make an effort to show the enforcers were good or whatever#they literally just slapped a woman who’s been a little sad and immediately turned to bigotry on it#like ur making arguments and excuses FOR them that don’t exist#It’s like they didn’t even have to convince you they didn’t have to try just put someone you like as the figurehead and u start agreeing#with and defending pure ev-oooooohhhhh#LMAO THATS ALL SORRU
0 notes
Text
-
#ok sorry for all these posts but i’m trying to take my own advice and not just keep everything in rn#tw that i’ll tag separately at the end but: mental health bipolar addiction vague mentions of sui attempts and just general negativity sorry#hearing that he struggled with manic/low episodes too on top of addiction (etc) is just so fucking. !!!!!!!!!#as someone with bipolar 2 and a recovering addict this just keeps hitting harder and harder and i think about all the times i was manic#and was lucky enough to get help that kept me here on this earth#and it’s so fucking upsetting that even all the money in the world can only get you so far w these things. our world is not set up to help#its set up to make these struggles even harder than they already are and just. fuck#i won’t lie it makes me scared knowing that grief often triggers some sort of episode for me too and now i’m at my parents place w all these#photos of my dad on the walls and i’m in the same rooms that i fell in love w 1d in#i’m so fucking sick of people dying for basically the same fucking shit#most of my friends who OD’d or took their lives also had bipolar and addiction and i’m just like#what is it even gonna take for things to change#dealing w the inevitability of death is one thing but all these young ppl going thru their own versions of the same shit and nothing changes#it gets harder and harder each year and i can only hope that nobody else ik including myself won’t suffer the same fate here#but how am i supposed to hold onto that hope when it just. keeps. happening#i feel so weird making this post publicly bc ik it’s pessimistic and negative but my heart fucking hurts for so many reasons#and i wish i was home rn. i’m honestly tempted to just go back tomorrow like how tf am i supposed to deal w this and keep it to myself#rraahhhhhhhhhHHHHHHH#i can’t stop crying haha#rowyn rambles#tw mental health#tw sui ideation#tw addiction#tw death#tw overdose
1 note
·
View note
Text
Every time my mum throws yet another hissy fit although I can understand she’s being stupid and I let her yap to her hearts content cause she can never quit complaining, for some reason I’m so mildly bothered that the irritation makes me angry at every other thing.
For example : the fact that so and so hasn’t responded in 51 years, fifty more people haven’t even given so much as a single darn to ask why I haven’t replied yet or use those two brain cells of theirs currently fighting for third place to realise huh, maybe she’s going through a hard time ! Maybe you know like a decent fucking human being I could leave her a little note saying she can answer whenever she feels fit enough to do so but that I care for her, and the fact that I am irate by how care and compassion is offered on a silver platter to so many yet for me I have to beg and do the most absurd and pathetic displays to achieve even the slightest speck of kindness, and if I DONT do all of that in the one in a trillion possibility of me receiving kindness for free it makes me so disgusted and afraid because why the fuck would you do that, in fact why the fuck would anyone even do that even if I gave them my whole heart and soul anyways. All I am is less than dirt by way of reason given how I have been treated, and although I’m unsure as to why I am and that I can never fully understand the reason for why I’m not worth a single thing, and why I am worthless, i understand that that’s how the world works and I ought to adapt to my role and take it because nobody will stop for me
#‘u guys have seen how fast life can be taken from you’ well I hope it comes faster bc I have been praying for the end to come#for years yet nothing#I have not only been let down by this world#but I have been let down by God so many times it’s genuinely baffling#why can’t He just kill me already#I don’t even care anymore about the method#I don’t even care if it’s the most excruciatingly painful thing#if I get ripped in half or have my organs harvested or tortured for however many days#I think I just need to go and i need to go NOW.#practically the only real consistent wish I’ve had in my life is that I am to be something important to others#someone irreplaceable#but I am not even noticed much less replaced#and how a girl could yap on about her insecurity abt her bangs and within an hour she gets heaps of comments#yet for me ? when I write odes to death every other Tuesday it’s whoopsie who gives a fuck about her I hope she dies#that’s precisely how it looks like to me#I think everyone does wish death upon me for the simple fact that nobody asks#nobody cares and nobody tries to help#actions speak louder than words and everyone’s actions are very clear to me#clearly someone throwing a pity party over themselves for fucking bangs is definitely a cause for concern yes yes ! worthy of twenty notes#within the span of a single hour 🥺🥺🥺 but of course I don’t deserve shit so that’s why nobody gaf 🙂↕️#dora daily#my only request is for all to be blunt and clear that I am worthless in their eyes.at least my mum reminds me often.why can’t yall do the#same. at least she is honest and not mincing her words. listen I can handle much more than anyone thinks I’m not as sensitive as everyone#makes me out to be. so freaking tell me how horrible I am tell me that I am a chore to speak to that I am a burden and weigh u all down#and that I am some infinitely unimaginable list of negative attributes and that’s all I’ll ever amount to because I would send my dearest#thanks for you being so brave and saying it to my face. rather than being a coward and a fool for hiding behind flowery words and meaningles#nothings uttered just for filler. newsflash I can read intents and in between the lines well but I am not a mind reader nor does anything#imply that I can read minds. yes I can discern intents and the smallest signals but I CANNOT read minds#why you won’t catch me hold hope that anything I make will get hype so I won’t post it on this platform and if I do I won’t tag it#and why do people always get fed up or think I’m lying or smth when I insist I’m sick like wtf. or they act like I’m lying by embodying the
1 note
·
View note
Text
why is a kpop idol making me for real question if i’m aro
#🌙.txt#im so weird about him#anyway i’m gonna rant about my identity this post was an excuse for that#it has always annoyed me when people say that i just haven’t found the right person i could like#clearly if i had a crush on this guy i would still identify as aro bc i have never felt like that and probably won’t again#and if i like him it doesn’t really deny i’m still aro cuz i cannot imagine myself having a partner bc i just don’t like anyone#whenever i imagine having a partner i ended up thinking of said partner as more like an object instead of a person#bc i just don’t like the idea of kissing someone and having sex or having to be someone’s support or anything like that#i can’t comfort people and k don’t want to i don’t want that burden even with friends#it makes me uncomfortable and i dont plan on improving that sort of myself#at the end of the day being aro is simply not experiencing romantic feelings the same as the rest of the world#and i’ve never felt like that for anyone irl and won’t bc the more i know a person the less instreasted i am on them#and in this case with the idol i wouldn’t really call it being in love with him#bc i don’t think it is#for me it feels more like jealousy ig#i would love to be able to sing and dance and be on variety shows and have a group of people that seems close and shit like that#but bc i know i wouldn’t /actually/ have that life i ended thinking of being in that life through imagining myself as having a connection#to it in this case like wanting to have an idol bf and it doesn’t necessarily have to be him in my mind i guess it could be basically anyon#but i latched onto him bc i think he’s really beautiful and i would love to look like that but i would never be able to#my posts about loving him at the end of the day are kinda jokey bc that’s not what i feel for him it’s just weird complicated feelings#but the short way i can describe it i think is being in love
0 notes
Text
Full disclosure I do not care if someone copies me. I quite literally do not give a shit. Maybe it’s just because I’m 28 and getting mad about someone “copying” you is high school shit, maybe it’s genuinely not a big deal, I don’t know. I could run into someone who’s wearing the same thing, head to toe, that I am and I would neither notice nor care
#this post brought to you by my friend…. apologising for buying the same model of fitbit that i have?????????#like excuse me but what in the goddamn hell are you talking about#we are BOTH 28 years old. we have not just been beamed back to secondary school#even if we had; i doubt i would’ve given a shit THEN??#it’s a fucking fitbit. it’s not like you’ve tried to xerox my entire style. and even if you did i would not care#frankly if someone walked into this room wearing the exact same thing i’m wearing (grey cardigan bought at tesco ten years ago; dark blue#long sleeved t-shirt; fitbit; light grey sweatpants from the university i was at during 3rd year; brown socks; grey slippers)#my first thought would not be ‘omg they’ve copied me!’ it would be ‘they look comfortable’. or maybe ‘honestly they could do better’#maybe this is just because i got bullied for accidentally copying someone in secondary school (read: there were about 3 shops near us that#sold supplies; and they had very little in the way of choice so i COMPLETELY COINCIDENTALLY bought the same ballet shoes; pencil case#and tote bag that she already had)#but i get kind of violent when people either apologise for copying someone’s style/haircut/etc; or get mad that someone has done that#to them. like half the time it’s literally not intentional#i mean i can see it getting to be way too much but like#I DON’T CARE IF YOU OWN THE SAME FITBIT AS ME. in fact buy it#good christ i wish i’d bought this thing before i went through two terrible offbrand smartwatches that beeped at me while i was trying#to sleep and had ugly ass interfaces#personal
1 note
·
View note