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clownstillwritesfanfic · 8 days ago

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Room For One More

Five x Female Reader/Klaus x Female Reader One Shot, not a Klive fic, they are just sharing one lucky lady at the same time 🤭

Words: 7192

Warnings: M/M/F, vaginal sex, anal sex, double penetration

Five and Klaus head out to the bar to celebrate their birthday. When they catch the eye of the attractive bartender, she decides to give them a very special birthday present. The only catch is they have to share.

“Please, Fivey, come on!”

“No.”

“You can’t stay cooped up forever. You’re an outside cat; you need to roam free and get in a little trouble. Besides, it’s our birthday! We need to celebrate the fact that we have miraculously survived yet another year on this planet.”

“I’m aware of the date and while it is impressive that we’re still alive and kicking, I don’t feel the need for a celebration.”

“Well, I think we should go out. You never know if we’ll make it to the next birthday or not. Besides, what are you now, two hundred?”

“You know, Klaus, that joke just keeps getting funnier and funnier.”

“I think you’re being sarcastic.”

“You think? What gave you that impression?”

Five rolls his eyes at Klaus’s heavy sigh as they stand in their shared living room, arguing. He really does not feel like going out. Especially to some place his idiot brother will probably drag him. On the other hand, he doesn’t really feel like staying home alone, either. Maybe he is an outside cat. An old, scraggly, feral cat that has seen a few things in its life and will scratch the shit out of you if you try and pet it.

“Fine. But if we’re going out, I’m choosing the place.”

Klaus claps his hands. “Yay! Whatever you say, Cinco. You know me, I just go with the flow.”

“Is anyone else coming?”

“No. The rest of our loser family was busy with their ‘significant others’, or so they said. But no worries, it will be just you and me on the town tonight, buddy. Besides, we’re the best ones.”

“You may be right about that,” Five says with a small grin.

As Five and Klaus enter the bar, their eyes have to adjust to the lighting. It’s dim and loud with music and too many conversations. The crowds of people packed in there are all yelling, trying to make themselves heard over the continuous bass of the speakers blasting out some sort of techno music.

Klaus leans in closer to Five. “When you told me you wanted to come here, I was surprised. I didn’t think it was your kind of establishment, with it being dark and full of undesirables,” he says as he eyes up the place. “I come here all the time, but I had no idea you did.”

Five nods. “The drinks are cheap and strong and I can usually be ignored, which is how I like it. And I’m used to being around undesirables.” He looks at Klaus when he says that.

Klaus is about to make a snarky comeback at his brother’s insult, but then he stops because he’s spotted someone. A big smile breaks over his face as he looks towards the bar.

“Looks like we came on the right night,” he says, still not looking at Five.

Five turns to see who Klaus is talking about. It’s the woman bartender that’s working tonight. Even from a distance Five can see how attractive she is, there’s no doubt about that. But he also knows because he’s studied her up close and she is secretly the reason he wanted to come here tonight.

Five frowns at Klaus. “Wait, you know her?”

He shrugs. “Well, I don’t know her, know her. But I’ve come here enough that we’ve chit-chatted here and there. I’ve been deciding whether or not to really turn on the charm, though. Really let her see the full power of my seduction. Make her powerless against my animal magnetism.”

Five turns his attention back towards the bar, but he’s talking to Klaus. “You’re interested in her?”

“Sure, what’s not to be interested in? Great body, nice face, she can hold a conversation.” Klaus looks at Five and sees him staring at her. “Oh, shit…you like her, too, don’t you?”

Five shoves his hands in his pockets and gives a small shrug. “So what if I do?”

“You old horn dog, I had no idea! You are just full of surprises tonight, Fivey!”

“Alright, calm down. So, I think a woman is attractive. So what?”

“So…you totally want to bang her, don’t you? Slip her the ol’ man meat? Take her to pound town?”

“God, Klaus, are you ever not disgusting?”

“Once in a while, but where’s the fun in that?” He turns to Five again and gives him a sly smile. “You didn’t say no, either.” He looks back at the girl. “However, just because you are my much older brother who can murder me in a variety of painful ways, that doesn’t mean I’m backing down.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means every man for himself, I guess.” Klaus then starts walking towards the bar, leaving Five standing in one spot. He gives a wave over his shoulder as he makes a beeline for the woman in question.

“What an asshole,” Five mutters to himself.

Then he smiles. Because Five Hargreeves has never been known to back down from a challenge and he’s not about to start now. Let the games begin.

Klaus is already perched atop a barstool, chatting up the bartender when Five makes his way up there. He squeezes through the throngs of people, most of them drunk and laughing loudly. Five thinks about blinking up there to avoid any spilled drinks on his clothes, but he doesn’t want to draw even more attention to himself. He looks out of place in his fine-tailored pants and white button-down shirt, he knows that. But he also doesn’t really give a shit.

When Five reaches the bar, he can see that Klaus and the woman are already talking and laughing together, which is irritating but not unexpected. Five has seen the way Klaus is with people. It doesn’t matter the sexual orientation or gender; everyone is drawn to him. Five, on the other hand, doesn’t exactly give out a ‘good times’ vibe. He’s pleased, though, when she flashes him a smile on seeing him.

“Well, if it isn’t Number Five. How did I get so lucky as to have not one, but two Hargreeves brothers visiting me tonight?” She gives him a wink.

Five starts to say something, but Klaus jumps in. “It took some doing, but I was able to drag the old man out tonight. It’s our birthday!”

The woman eyes Five up and down. “Is that right? Well, happy birthday, boys.” She leans forward so that her low-cut top does even less to cover her cleavage. “In that case, what can I get you?” She looks at Five directly. “Let me guess…single malt scotch. Neat.”

Five nods with a smile. “Good memory.”

“I always remember the cute ones,” she says, right before she turns her attention back to Klaus. “And for you? You’re a wild card, so I never know.”

Klaus mulls it over for a few seconds before ordering a whiskey sour and the woman walks away to get their drinks. Five turns to Klaus with a cocky smirk.

“She remembered my order. Because I’m cute.”

Klaus rolls his eyes. “Please, that’s her job. You probably think strippers like you, too.”

Five ignores him and silently adds a little mark to the tally list in his mind. He watches her work at the other end of the bar as she pours and mixes their drinks. She’s subtly rocking her hips back and forth to the beat of the music that’s playing overhead, and when she’s done, she wipes her hands on the ass of her jeans. Before she picks up the drinks to bring them over, she tosses her head back to flick some hair out of her eyes, showing off her slender neck. Five knows she’s not doing it on purpose, but he likes this little show. He quickly averts his eyes when she turns towards him.

She sets the glasses down in front of them. “Here you go, guys. On the house!” she chirps with a smile.

“You don’t have to do that,” Five protests.

Klaus has already picked his drink up. “Danke,” he quips before taking a big sip.

Five frowns at Klaus but the girl laughs. “It’s your birthday, so don’t worry about it. I insist.”

With a nod, Five lifts his glass. “Alright, if you insist. Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

Five assumes she’s going to leave and move on to the next customer, but she stays. She puts her hands in her back pockets, pushing out and accentuating her breasts. That had to have been done on purpose and Five knows she saw him staring. She smiles at him and her eyes move back and forth between him and Klaus.

“So, what else do you two have planned for the evening? Anything fun?”

Klaus shrugs and leans over the bar, closer to her. “That depends. Have anything in mind?”

Five wants to roll his eyes, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just sits there with his drink, mute. She leans in towards Klaus.

“Maybe I do,” she says deviously.

Klaus makes a little “oohh” noise and Five raises an eyebrow. He decides he needs to say something to stay relevant to the conversation.

“When do you get off?” he asks, not even thinking about how bold that question may come across.

She gives Five a sexy half-smile and leans across even closer so that she’s directly in between him and Klaus, with her tits in full view on the bar top, and talks softly to both of them. “Usually when he’s got a big dick and knows how to use it.”

Klaus starts choking on his drink, but somehow Five remains cool, despite having to subtly adjust himself in his seat. He returns her sly look, his glass halfway to his mouth.

“Good to know I’ve got a shot then, should the occasion arise,” he drawls before taking another drink.

Her eyes widen a bit and then she laughs. “Actually, I’m finished with my shift in about 30 minutes. If you two want to hang around a little while, I can join you.”

“Absolutely!” Klaus beams, much too enthusiastically in Five’s opinion. “We’ll be here!”

“Great!” she answers.

Five and Klaus watch her as she moves on to another person down the row to take their order. Klaus gives Five’s shoulder a shove.

“And you didn’t want to come out tonight. Shame on you.”

About half an hour later, Five, Klaus, and the bartender are sitting at a table against a wall. The two men were already sitting down when she came over to join them, and she chose to sit next to Klaus, which did not go unnoticed by Five. He put a mental tally mark in Klaus’s column for that one.

As the night goes on, and the drinks keep coming, the three of them loosen up more and more. Several hours later, Five has undone the top few buttons on his shirt and his hair is a little messy. He’s quick to laugh at their stupid jokes, even the ones told by Klaus. The girl brings over a tray of shots and they all slug back two of them in a row; the stinging sensation they would normally feel as they swallow barely even registering with any of them.

Five may be plastered, but he’s not oblivious. He’s been watching her intently, particularly the way she’s acting with Klaus. Right now, she’s giggling and resting her head on his shoulder. Five can’t see her hand, but he’s pretty sure it’s on Klaus’s leg. When Klaus puts an arm around her, she doesn’t move or protest. Instead, she looks right at Five and smiles.

His brain is not completely coherent, but Five knows a hint when he sees one. She’s into Klaus, not him. Which, honestly, is fine. He’s not sure what he was expecting, anyway. Klaus is fun and outgoing and everyone loves him when he turns on the charm. Even though the liquor has oiled Five up quite a bit, he knows he’s still uptight compared to his gregarious brother. After all, he’s the only person Five knows who has “accidentally” started a cult.

Five raises his glass of whatever liquid is still at the bottom of one of the glasses on the table, gesturing to Klaus across the table before slugging the contents down. He’s still not sure what was in there, but it wasn’t good. Five dutifully accepts his fate of going home alone, indulging in a little self-pleasure, and passing out.

When the blazing bar lights rudely come to life overhead and the last call is announced, they start to drag themselves out of their chairs and make their way to the door. Five doesn’t even remember what was discussed about how they were getting home, or who was going where. He really hopes she’s not coming to their place because the last thing he needs is to listen to her and Klaus go at it all night. From the way they are laughing and holding on to one another, though, Five assumes he’s not getting his wish.

When the three of them leave together, stepping outside on the curb to hail a cab, Five is only partly aware that she has her arm looped around his and not Klaus’s. She stumbles in her heels and she uses him to keep her balance, laughing and leaning her body on his. In the car on the way home, Five closes his eyes and lets his head fall back against the seat. Next to him, she and Klaus start making out, and Five runs a tired hand down his face.

“If I weren’t so goddamn drunk, I’d teleport myself right the fuck out of here,” he grumbles out loud.

That’s when he feels a hand on his thigh and he looks over to see her still kissing Klaus, but she is massaging his leg at the same time, squeezing and stroking his thigh. Five doesn’t know what to do or say. She probably doesn’t even realize she’s doing it since she’s just as wasted as he is. He tries not to be too turned on by it, but that’s a big ask, especially when her hand is moving slowly up. After a little bit he moves his leg away from her hand in order to avoid any unsolicited boner action if she keeps moving in that direction.

When they arrive at the apartment, it takes several attempts to unlock the door, since getting a key into a keyhole is nearly impossible when you’re seeing three of them. Five tries one very unsuccessful blink inside, but ends up slamming face-first into the wall about two feet in front of him. After weaving a colorful tapestry of curse words and massaging his bruised face, and Klaus and the girl stop laughing hysterically, the three of them finally make it inside.

Once inside, Five stumbles over to the large armchair in the living room, dropping heavily down and closing his eyes again. If he falls asleep here, he doesn’t care. His bed is too far away at this point. He opens his eyes a slit, just in time to see her walking towards him. She’s smiling while tugging her top over her head and throwing it to the side. Five panics and tries to get up, thinking he needs to get out of there before she and Klaus really start going at it. But Klaus is on the couch, on the other side of the room. Five blinks to clear his vision, not entirely sure he’s seeing things correctly.

In less time than he can react, she’s standing in front of him, reaching out to run a hand through his hair before climbing onto him, straddling his lap. Five hears himself moan out loud and his eyes fall shut again. He doesn’t know what is happening or if he’s dreaming or not. His arms feel heavy, but he lifts them and places his hands on her hips. They feel warm and solid and her body on top of him like this feels very, very real. Then he feels her lips on his.

Her lips are soft and she runs her tongue along the inside of his mouth. Suddenly, Five’s body seems to be waking up, and while his brain is still a foggy mess of booze, the rest of him reacts. His hands tighten on her hips and he pulls her into him, kissing her back hungrily. He runs his hands up her back, feeling her bare skin under his fingers as she grinds down on him. When she pulls away, breathing hard, Five moans pitifully and she giggles.

Five turns his head to the side and sees Klaus watching them. Then he looks back at her. “What’s going on?”

She laughs again, and so does Klaus, which Five does not appreciate. But when she pushes down onto him again, he forgets to be annoyed.

“You didn’t think I was going to leave either of you out, did you? After all, it’s both of your birthdays.”

“Our birthdays…what?” Five stutters out, still not completely understanding the situation.

“How could I pass up an opportunity to fuck not one, but two, hot and sexy superheroes? It’s a girl’s wet dream,” she says, grinning wickedly.

Five nods at what she’s saying, even though he’s barely listening as she’s pressing her groin onto his quickly awakening cock.

She leans down and kisses him, hard, shoving her tongue inside his mouth. When she pulls back again, she’s breathing heavier. “I want both of you. At the same time.”

“Wait, what?” Five is suddenly becoming a little less plastered and starting to realize what exactly is going on. This girl wants to have a threesome with him and his brother. What in the fuck?

“What in the fuck?” Five repeats, out loud this time.

She lets out a breathy laugh. “It’s ok, Five. We’re going to have a good time. I promise,” she tells him as she starts to climb off of his lap.

Five looks over at Klaus, who’s still sitting there, watching him with that stupid grin on his face. “Is this really happening?” Five asks him, just to make sure he’s not completely hallucinating all of this.

Klaus shrugs. “I’m down if you are.”

Five thinks for a second, then he looks back at her and she looks so damn hot standing there in her bra and tight jeans, waiting for a confirmation from him. He really wants to fuck this girl. He’s been thinking about it for a long time, and now here she is, ready and willing. Albeit, with one small catch. But if sharing her with Klaus means she’ll touch his dick and let him see her naked, well then, I guess that’s what he’s going to have to do.

Five jabs a finger in Klaus’s direction. “Just so we’re clear, I do not want any part of your body touching my dick, and I don’t want your dick touching any part of my body.”

Klaus makes a tutting noise and rolls his eyes. “Well, I can’t make any promises once things get going, but I will do my best. Besides, don’t knock it til you try it.”

“Jesus Christ,” Five mutters to himself, not quite believing this is really happening.

But it is happening, and Five allows himself to be pulled along by her into Klaus’s bedroom. He falls on his back onto the bed, and after she pulls her jeans off, she is on top of him again, kissing him. He’s not hesitating this time, as he pants and groans into her mouth; his hungry kisses punctuated by bites and licks. His hands are on her breasts, kneading and caressing them while running his thumbs over the small peaks of her nipples underneath her bra.

“Five…I’ve been waiting to get my hands on you,” she moans quietly against his lips.

The combination of hearing his name from her mouth and the vibration that it sends over his lips has him pushing his hips up into her in a desperate attempt to feel more of her. She doesn’t let him get his way, though, instead climbing off of him and to the side.

Five is pulled from his little fantasy of just the two of them and looks over to see Klaus watching them. He has already stripped down and is standing naked at the side of the bed. She goes to him, crawling on her knees on the bed and reaching up to kiss him. Her arms are around his shoulders and her fingers lace into his hair. Five can see that Klaus is getting hard, and he’s running his hands over her body and groping her ass. When she breaks away from him, she looks over at Five, who is just lying there staring at them.

“Go ahead, get undressed,” she says with a smile before going back to kissing Klaus.

Five obeys, stripping off his clothes until he is completely naked. If he weren’t so drunk, he might be a little embarrassed that he was already hard as a rock, when she hadn’t done much more than kiss him. He watches her with Klaus, listening to her soft moans, until he can’t stand it anymore. There were probably rules that he was meant to be following; a certain protocol that was usually carried out as a precaution to keep things fair. But no one had told him any rules, and he wasn’t one for following them anyway. He was the one who made the rules.

Klaus has removed her bra and panties, but she is still kneeling on the bed. Five comes up behind her and jerks her away from Klaus with a hand around her middle. Kneeling behind her, he pushes his hard cock against her ass and sucks hard on the skin of her neck. She cries out as he bites down in the same sensitive spot.

“Damn, Five,” Klaus chuckles. “Not holding back, are you?”

Five doesn’t bother with a response, he just pulls her harder into him, rocking his hips forward until his cock slips between her ass cheeks. The groan that leaves him is loud and he hears her whimper as he grabs her breasts roughly, her head falling back against his shoulder. He kisses her along her jaw as her soft hair falls around his face like a curtain.

“Let me fuck you,” he growls next to her ear, and it’s not so much of a request as it is a demand.

He is desperate. He hadn’t realized how much he had wanted to touch her and kiss her until now. Just this small taste of her is driving him crazy and he wants more. He wants to bend her over and fuck her hard until she’s screaming his name.

She laughs quietly, but doesn’t answer. Instead, Klaus has worked his way onto the bed, kneeling in front of her and kissing her hard and passionately. Once again, Five is jolted out of his illusion that it’s just him and her. Klaus is close; too close, and Five starts to back off. But she arches her back into him, pushing her ass backward and reaching behind her to place a hand on the back of his neck. So, he stays and continues to rub his cock against her and kiss her shoulders as she holds onto Klaus and they devour one another.

Five doesn’t like it, and it has nothing to do with being with another naked man, or that the other naked man is his brother. He has no hang-ups about that sort of thing. But he doesn’t like to share. He considers, for a moment, blinking away and taking her with him; taking her to his room with the door locked and fucking her so good and hard that she’ll forget all about stupid Klaus. That thought fades quickly, though. For one thing, that would be a pretty caveman type thing to do, and who’s to say she would even want that. For another, he’s so drunk right now the odds of him being able to teleport his own self back to his room are pretty slim; let alone dragging another person along with him.

After another minute or so of not knowing what to do except continue to rut into her, Klaus lies down on his back and she follows, ending up on all fours directly in front of Five and leaning over Klaus’s hard dick. Five isn’t sure what this means. Has his time here ended? Is he being dismissed? But then she looks over her shoulder at him, smiling knowingly, and pushes her body backward a bit to shove her ass towards Five.

“Go ahead, do your worst,” she tells him with a smile before licking her lips.

Five doesn’t even have a response for that, because he’s so amped up and ready to fuck her, that it hardly registers that she’s lowered her head to start sucking Klaus’s dick. Five makes a quiet, gravelly noise in his throat as he tries to assess the situation. He’s never met a tight ass that he hasn’t wanted to spank, and hers is no different. After running a hand down her smooth back, he pulls back and smacks her with a loud slapping noise that has her whining as her tongue wets the underside of Klaus’s shaft.

Five’s hand continues to make contact with her round backside until it is nice and pink from his minor abuse. He doesn’t know why the sight of that makes him even more turned on, but it does, and she is obviously into it, too. He’s had enough of that, though, and now he just wants to plow her. He pushes two fingers inside of her, feeling how tight and wet she is, and it makes him moan almost as loud as she does.

“You’re just waiting to get fucked, aren’t you?” he teases.

She answers back with a muffled whine and a head nod, which is not exactly what Five would have preferred to hear since it’s due to the fact that her mouth is full of his brother’s dick. But, hey, at least it was something. He briefly considers grabbing a fistful of her hair and pulling her face right off of Klaus, but he figures that might land him a punch in the mouth from either one of them, so he lets that idea slide.

Instead, Five does his best to block out Klaus’s groans and the fact that he has to maneuver around his sprawled out legs to get at her and concentrate on fucking this girl. There hasn’t been a lot of foreplay, but maybe that’s just what happens when you have multiple people in the mix. Either way, Five is dying to slam himself inside of her, so he doesn’t wait another second before he does just that. Bottoming out completely in one hard thrust, he grabs her hips and pulls her back towards him through clenched teeth.

The impact of him ramming into her, plus yanking her backward, has her letting up off of Klaus with a high-pitched cry. She looks over her shoulder with a small smile as she continues to get railed.

“Damn, Five,” she breathes out.

“Fuck, I knew you’d feel amazing,” he grinds out, digging his fingers in harder to the flesh of her hips.

Five is faintly aware of some grumblings from Klaus, but he blocks that out, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. He probably isn’t playing fair, and hogging all the action, but he really could not care less at the moment. Her hot, tight sleeve is passing over his dick and it’s the best feeling he’s had in a long time. This is a thousand times better than his own hand and he can’t stop wanting to go at her harder and harder.

When he opens his eyes again, she’s switched to using her hand on Klaus, stroking him fast and hard as he’s on the verge of climax. Five does not really want to make eye contact with his brother while he’s unloading his jizz onto their shared date, so he focuses on her gorgeous ass, bouncing in front of him every time his hips slam against her.

“Ohhh…shit!!” Klaus yells a few seconds later.

To his annoyance, Five does look down at that moment, watching the last few drops of cum squirting out of Klaus’s cock, onto her hand and his stomach as she continues to milk him dry. The two men catch each other’s eye for half a second. Klaus grins at Five before Five turns away again.

“God dammit,” Five grumbles, his cock still buried inside of her.

Well, now that Klaus is finished for at least a little bit, he doesn’t have to share. Five stops thrusting for a minute, taking her by the hair and pulling her body up so that her back is against his chest. He holds her there with an arm around her middle. He’s relieved when he notices Klaus slink off the bed, leaving the two of them to continue their fucking uninterrupted.

“I want to be the one to make you come,” Five murmurs against her neck as he starts to leave a nice purple mark with his teeth.

She doesn’t say anything, but he hears her inhale a sharp breath, and then she takes his hand and slides it down her abdomen until it’s between her legs. She positions his fingers right where she wants them and Five takes the strong hint, beginning to press and rub them against her. As soon as he’s following her instructions, she begins moaning and moving on top of him. She’s bouncing up and down on his cock while he fingers her, and Five has to use all of his brain power to not come before she does.

Her back is arching into him and her head is thrown back so that it’s against his shoulder, as she lets out a high keen that he takes to mean he’s doing something right. She’s breathing hard and loudly, slamming back against him and her movements are becoming erratic. Five increases the pressure of his fingers and circles her clit faster. She whines and whimpers, almost crying as she writhes around on his dick.

“Oh, fuck, Five…ahhh…you really do know what you’re doing,” she moans against his neck and that just about does him in right there.

Thankfully, she’s already starting to stiffen and spasm on top of him, taking his hand and pushing it harder against herself as she comes loud and strong on top of him.

“Fffff-uuuck!!” she yells, and Five can’t hold back any longer.

As her body is starting to relax a little, he removes his hand from her, and shoves her down, forcing her onto her hands and knees again. He’s still inside of her, so he grips into her sides and starts pounding into her as hard and as fast as possible. She’s making little short cries each time she’s thrust forward with the force of it, but he keeps going. It doesn’t take long before his hips snap against her one last time and he holds her there, tight in his grasp, as he unloads inside of her.

“Fuuuuck, yeeeesss…” he groans out, his voice and body shaking behind hers.

When he lets go and pulls out, he can see his cum leaking out of her and onto Klaus’s bedsheets, which is maybe a bit disturbing but his brain is too rattled with booze and his post-orgasmic high to really think about it too hard. Five sits back on his knees, still catching his breath as the girl shimmies her way off the bed. He is suddenly feeling very exposed all alone up there and he looks up to see Klaus still in the room, standing in the corner and watching like a big fucking creep. When Klaus gives Five a thumbs up, Five exhales loudly and turns his attention back to her.

Five watches her as she walks around the bed and goes to Klaus, where she smiles and brings his face down to kiss him. At the same time, she reaches down and caresses his cock, which Five can unfortunately see start to come to life again. When she pulls away from Klaus, she walks by Five and runs a hand over his shoulders as she passes.

“Don’t go anywhere, boys. The night’s not over yet,” she purrs as she walks out of the room, presumably to the bathroom.

Five and Klaus are silent as they stare at each other in disbelief and confusion. Klaus raises his eyebrows. “I take it that means we’re going again?” he asks.

Five shrugs. “I don’t know. You know more about this weird shit than I do.”

“That’s true, I’m no stranger to group activities. However, sharing one lady with my own brother is a first. Well, unless you count Ben, but mostly he just liked to watch from a distance. As if I didn’t know he was lurking in the shadows, the little pervert.”

Five sighs and sits on the edge of the bed. “I’m not sure I know what to do with that information.”

“Me either.”

They stare at each other again until Five speaks. “Listen, if we’re doing this again, we need to have a plan of action.”

“Oh, I like the way you think, Fivey! Yes, definitely. Now, don’t be insulted, but I’m not super keen on putting my shamma-lamma-ding-dong in the same spot you just stuck yours.”

Five raises an eyebrow. “What? You have stipulations?”

Klaus puts a hand on his chest. “Yes, I do. I have some standards if you must know. And dipping my pen in the same ink another family member has just put their pen in is a big no-no in my book.”

With a smirk, Five shoves his hair off his face. “Well, good. That works out better for me, anyway.”

Just then, the girl walked back in, and Five and Klaus both shut up. She was smiling at them, and Five immediately forgot all about Klaus again, because he couldn’t stop staring at her beautiful round tits, curvy hips, and those firm thighs that he wanted to feel clutched around his waist. His dick noticed too, and once again he was sitting there with a hard-on just from looking at her.

“So, that was fun. Should we go again?” she says with a wink in their direction.

“Funny enough, we were just discussing that,” Klaus says.

“Ooh, good. I love a man, or men, with a plan,” she answers eagerly and then crawls onto the bed again, sprawling seductively on her side. “You going to fill me in?”

Five can only take so much teasing and skirting around the issue. He likes to play around, too, but right now he just wants to fuck her again. So, even though she’s only a couple feet away from him, he uses what little working brain cells he has left to blink over to her. As soon as he’s next to her, he grabs her around the waist and pulls her on top of him as he lies on his back. His strong hands grip her ass and then her thighs as he roughly positions her the way he wants her.

“Do you still want us at the same time?” Five asks her as she tries to catch her breath from being flung around.

She nods. “Yes.”

“Then here’s how it’s going to go. You ride my cock with that tight pussy of yours and he can have your ass.”

Klaus pipes up from somewhere. “If that’s ok, of course.”

She nods again with a smile, leaning down to kiss Five, her tits pressing against his chest as she rubs herself over his erection.

Five doesn’t care what’s going to happen anymore. If Klaus wants to fuck her in the ass while she’s on top of him, he can go right ahead. But Five wants her like this. He likes feeling the weight of her body on top of him and feeling her breath against his skin as she moans into his neck. He also wants to keep kissing her. Her lips are soft against his and he wants to bite and suck at them and use his tongue to trace lines across them. And he wants to see her face when she comes.

After a few more minutes of her sliding her slick pussy up and down his dick, and sucking bruises onto his chest and shoulders, she lets him inside. Five pushes his hips up, forcing himself all the way in as she makes high-pitched mewling noises next to his ear. Klaus is behind her, and Five knows he’s getting ready to enter her, too, because he can feel her trying to adjust on top of him so that Klaus can get a good angle. He assumes there’s some application of lubricant in there somewhere, too, but he’s not really paying attention. He just wants her to ride him hard and he takes her hips in his hands and pushes her down again.

“Wait,” she moans, and Five has to control himself.

Finally, after some tortuous amount of time, Klaus slowly pushes his way into her tight asshole. Five can feel Klaus’s dick inside of her as it slides in, filling her up and making her pussy even tighter. He might not be exactly thrilled to be engaging in this type of activity with his brother, but Five has to admit it feels fucking amazing.

All three of them are moaning loudly at the feeling, but Five and Klaus let her set the pace. She eventually begins to move, thrusting her hips back and forth over both of their cocks. Klaus starts to move, too, and every time he pushes in, she moves forward over Five. A rhythm starts to develop until all three of them are getting what they want.

While she rides him, slamming down onto his dick each time she is shoved from behind, Five holds her by her waist and jerks his own hips upwards. He wants to feel like he has some control over the situation and he pulls her upper body down to him with a hand on the back of her head, his fingers fisting into her hair.

“You feel So. Fucking. Good,” he pants hoarsely before scraping his teeth over the side of her neck.

She is whining and moaning, getting louder by the second, and just those sounds alone are driving Five insane. He wants her louder and he wants to be the reason.

“Louder,” he demands, his jaw set in concentration as he focuses on her tight sleeve pulsing around him and the feeling of Klaus’s cock sliding next to his. “You can be louder, honey, come on.”

“Oh my god!” she screams, and both Five and Klaus groan. “Keep fucking me, please! Both of you…I want you both to come inside me!”

“Oh, fuck,” Klaus moans as he starts railing into her harder and faster.

The change in pace forces her to fuck Five faster, as well, and he is just about on the verge of exploding inside of her like she wants him to. He grabs her hair tighter, pulling her in for a kiss again and he loves the way she whimpers into his mouth.

“One more time, sweetheart, let me hear you scream.”

When she obeys and he hears her loud screams, that’s enough for Five. He is unloading inside of her, pushing her down while Klaus is pressed flush against her ass, lost in his own orgasm and pumping her hole full of his semen. The feeling of both of them filling her up at the same time sends her over the edge, too, and the room is full of the loud, shaking moans of all three as they clutch onto one another.

As things begin to settle and their muscles start to relax again, Klaus is the first one to move. He pulls out and moves to the side, leaving the girl still straddling Five and his dick slowly slipping out of her. She kisses him one more time, looking into his eyes and smiling, before climbing off. Five is still breathing hard and fast, but he props himself up on his elbows. Klaus has flopped onto his back next to him, and he’s already reaching over to his nightstand to grab a cigarette and a lighter. Five turns back to the girl, who is already cleaning herself up with some tissues before she starts pulling her clothes back on again.

Five is still a little drunk and he has a feeling when he fully sobers up, there are going to be some major questions to answer. But right now, he is feeling pretty fucking good and relaxed, despite the fact that he is lying naked next to his brother in his bed that has been violated and is probably covered in both of their sperm at the moment.

She hasn’t said a word to either of them yet, but after she puts her shoes on, she stands up straight and walks over to the bed.

“Well, thank you, boys. I had a lovely evening, and I hope you did too?”

Five just stares with his mouth open and Klaus laughs before taking a drag from his cigarette.

She giggles and then gives leans in to give both of them a kiss on each of their cheeks. “So, same time same place next weekend?” When she only receives a silent, shocked nod from both of them, she laughs again and turns to leave. “Good. Looking forward to it!” And then she is out of the room and they hear the door to the apartment open and click close again.

Five and Klaus are left lying in bed, naked and sweaty, with no girl in between them now. Klaus looks over at Five, placing an arm behind his head as he exhales a puff of smoke.

“So, like…are the three of us dating now?”

After blinking at his brother a few times and trying to make sense of the situation, Five grits his teeth together and points his finger in Klaus’s face. “Klaus, I swear to god, if you tell anyone about this, I will kill you. And I don’t mean a simple, quick, painless death. There will be multiple steps. And an instructional video. And possibly a hazmat crew for safe cleanup. Got it?”

Klaus nods casually. “Ten-four, Fivey. Reading you loud and clear.” He exhales another plume of smoke. “But just so I have this straight…we are dating? Because if so, I feel like we need some sort of schedule on who’s sticking it into what part, or maybe some diagrams. And if we can get that printed up ahead of time so I can—hey!”

With an aggravated growl and a serious need to take a shower, Five immediately blinks away, leaving Klaus mid-sentence and with an extremely bewildered expression on his face.

Many thanks to my bestie and fanfic partner in crime @kaybreezy3000 for helping me out with this one!

#lord almighty

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clownstillwritesfanfic · 9 days ago

Text

Another great fic from a lovely mutual 😃👍

Bottoms Up ~ A Five / Klaus / Female reader insert

(6571 words, Rated Mature for adult conversations and Explicit Sexual Content)

Anonymous asked:

This is an unusual request but I really love the way you write Klaus with Five. So can you do the two brothers having a conversation at a bar? About all things including the women there including the discussion of the type of women they want and what they want to do. Five is a lot more drunk that Klaus here and hasn't the chance to be with someone yet so it's all just hypothetical for him.

Warnings and Tags: explicit sexual content, siblings/bros relationship, sadness and longing, self-doubt, complexities of Five's age situation and issues with intimacy, kink discussion, humor, brotherly love and comradery, lack of sexual experience, intoxication, life/sex advice from Klaus the guru, like always with me-some tags left off to keep the story interesting as you read it 😉

~~~~Bottoms Up~~~~

Reveling in his warm, tingling buzz, everything around Five was becoming one muted haze. He could feel his anxiety almost entirely slipping away. Sure that nothing was going to get in the way of him achieving a blissful level of intoxication, in a couple more shots he wouldn’t even care if someone came up and punched him in the face.

“Of all the gin joints in the world…” Klaus said, slapping his hands down on top of Five’s slumped shoulders.

Five all out whimpered, his head thumping against the counter. “Can’t I ever get a moment’s peace?”

“You know what they say,” Klaus chuckled, “no rest for the wicked and you and I are pretty wicked awesome.” He picked up Five’s empty glass, taking a seat beside him at the bar. “What number are you on?”

Peeking out from under his folded arms, Five held up a hand. “Three.” Pulling his brows together, he took inventory of his fingers, then flicked up another.

“Oh, boy,” Klaus chuckled. “Do we need to call Luther to carry you home, little man?”

“Fuck off,” Five grumbled. He rolled his face to better glare at his brother. “Shouldn’t you be annoying someone else or in Allison’s basement sewing yourself a onesie made of bubble wrap?”

Flagging the male behind the bar, Klaus made a pouty face. “No,” he solemnly corrected. “Since our powers came back like a magical reverse fart in the wind, and dad and all his other alien conspirators got taken out by their botched Cleanse thing, I’ve moved out of my padded bunker in our sister’s basement. Ben and I are roommates again and it’s good old fun-loving immortal Klaus and it’s time to party. Speaking of which…”

Klaus held up Five’s empty to the bartender as he laid out a fresh napkin in front of him. “What will it be?” the fairer haired male asked him.

“Bottle of your finest-cheapest vodka for me, please,” Klaus politely answered, “and another of whatever this adorable little shit rat was having before I came in to turn his frown upside down.” Sneaking a hand around Five’s back, he started ruffling his hair.

Straightening like he’d been struck by lightning, Five slapped his hand away, which only made Klaus ferociously claw back at him like he was a gigantic man-sized cat dressed in a feather trimmed coat and skin tight pleather pants.

“I hate you,” Five growled at him.

Klaus hissed in return, before looking back at the waiting bartender, batting his charcoal lined eyelashes.

“Do you throw out creepers because this weirdo is creeping on me,” Five interjected, momentarily pulling the bartender's attention his way again.

“He’s just kidding. My brother totally wants to hang out with me,” Klaus assured.

“I’d rather be wearing a sweater made of ants then hangout with you,” Five snipped back as he started to push himself out of his chair. “It’s been fun, but this family reunion is over.”

Before the tips of his dress shoes could even touch the floor, Klaus straddled Five with his long legs, locking his feet on the lower rungs of his chair. Just as fast, under the edge of the bar, Five’s clenched hands filled with a whirling blue aura.

“Ahhhhh, come on,” Klaus whined, conjuring puppy dog eyes that put the pups on the ASPCA commercials to shame. “Don’t blink out on me, man! I’m lonely and I know you are too.”

Staring blankly, Five said nothing, but his power sizzled out, leaving his hands tensed and clammy as he fell back on his stool.

“I thought we could do the brother bonding trip, big ball of twine thing again,” Klaus hopefully furthered. “You know, without the road trip part, or the angry Amish mob chasing me part. This time with more of us getting trashed and you nailing the girl’s vocals in ‘I’ve Had the Time of My Life,’ while I show off my dirty dancing skills.” He looked to the bartender who had yet to get his order. “Do you guys have karaoke here?”

“Not tonight but the DJ starts soon,” he replied, studying the brothers with a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “If you tip him enough, he might play something that will allow you to make assholes of yourselves.”

“Not happening,” Five snapped. “I’m not dancing with you, Klaus.”

He leaned back, rolling his eyes. “You always say that, and you always end up on the dance floor grooving out like Fred Astaire and serenading us like Sinatra.”

“I have never done that,” Five argued.

“Sure,” Klaus taunted, then openly mouthed ‘he’s totally done that,’ towards the bartender.

“I will punch you in the throat,” Five threatened.

“Promises, promises,” Klaus chuckled.

Scrutinizingly eyeing the brothers for a moment more but finding himself thoroughly charmed enough to ignore Five’s glazed eyes and the rules about serving entire bottles of liquor to individual patrons, the mixologist reached down, selecting the finest rail Vodka, placing it on the bar with a clean glass.

“Danke,” Klaus chirped, giving the server a flirty wink that was returned with a full smile of equal flirtiness.

“Christ,” Five murmured as he ran his hands back through his hair, one particularly unruly strand falling back in his eyes just as fast as he defeatedly dropped his hands in his lap. Digging in his pants pocket, he pulled out several large bills, tossing them on the bar. “Scotch and keep it coming,” he tiredly sighed.

“If you vomit on my floor, you’re cleaning it up,” the bartender countered.

“Deal,” Five agreed.

Triumphant, Klaus unhooked his boots from the rungs of Five’s chair. “I can tell you want to stab me in the eye with your cocktail straw and you can if it makes you feel better,” he offered.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” Five huffed as he picked up his fresh shot off the bar, tipping the amber liquid back in one gulp. Slumping over, he placed his elbows back on the bar. “My days of psychopathically wreaking havoc on mankind are over. Now, I just want…”

Five looked up, becoming lost in the vacant reflection looking back at him in the mirrors behind the bar.

“Work good?” Klaus gently asked, trying to pull Five back from whatever bad place his mind had taken him.

“Wonderful,” Five flatly replied, then went back to staring at his empty glass.

“It’s funny…” Klaus noted after a second or two.

Five looked his way, confused. “What is?”

“Getting to start over again,” he answered. “Dad is gone, the world isn’t ending, but here we are.” He smiled sadly. “You’d think not being able to die would be liberating, but it also makes it harder to find reason to live. Add in that the past won’t stop haunting you and this shit isn’t easy.”

Five nodded his head in understanding. They’d all seen Klaus spiral out of control, lacking any motivation, numbing himself to the point he might as well not be alive anyway.

A sudden wave of heartbreak shimmered in Klaus’s eyes. “We need to focus on something outside ourselves and put all our heart into that. Dave told me that, and he wasn’t wrong. If we can reframe all the things that tried to break us and make life about the bigger picture, then maybe we won’t feel so alone, or worthless.” He paused, pointedly looking at Five. “Kind of like you feel right now, man.”

“All I have done is make my life about everyone else!” Five defensively fumed, only now realizing this conversation was about him, not Klaus.

“I know,” Klaus calmly agreed. “That’s the problem. You never should have had to do the things you did for us. I am so sorry we weren’t there for you too. We all love you and only want to see you happy for once.”

The line between Five’s brows deepened. After a whole minute of silence he said, “I don’t know how to be happy. I don’t think I ever did.”

Reaching over, Klaus placed a hand on his back, only getting the slightest flinch from Five in return when he kept it there. “I think happiness starts with showing yourself some forgiveness and putting your needs first for a change.”

Swirling the clear liquid in his bottle, Klaus’s frown turned up a little, but his eyes remained fixed on his beverage.

“If you open yourself to being loved, the reasons to push forward will just fall into place,” he added. “Or that’s what I try to tell myself every day.” Tipping his head back, he drained his vodka down to an inch past the shiny blue label. “I miss Dave,” he breathed, his wetted lips lingering against the bottle for a moment before he took another long swallow.

“I miss Dolores,” Five said, his voice hardly above a whisper as he raised his freshly poured shot to Klaus’s bottle.

Glass clinked to glass.

Lost in his pain filled memories, Five lowered his chin, clearing the smoky flavored burn from his tightened throat. “Just the sensation of her cool, unyielding hand in mine as I forced her to touch me made me feel like I wasn’t staring into an endless abyss. She saved me from being alone even though being with her made me more alone than ever,” he acknowledged. “It’s pathetic.”

He looked up, his eyes struggling to focus as he looked towards the dance floor.

“I am so fucked up that I am not capable of moving on from that kind of dysfunction. One-sided desire and endless desperation are all I’ll ever know. That’s all I’ll ever know when it comes to love.”

“Don’t say that,” Klaus argued. “It can’t be that bad.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“There are plenty of women or men in here that would gladly take you home and let you show them a good time, even if it was for only a one night stand meant to put an end to your doom and gloom lonely jerk off sessions. You’re a catch.”

“Some catch.” Five’s face twisted with disgust. “I’m a geriatric college kid that used to bone a mannequin and I still find the idea of doing that appealing because it’s easier than letting anyone see who I really am,” he bitterly retorted, his blood alcohol level blowing out his mental filter, along with his usual poker face of indifference.

Klaus perked up. “Hey! You just reminded me. How’s that blow up doll I got for Christmas holding up?”

Five dropped his head in his hands, rubbing his temples, wordlessly indicating his rubber lady was no match for the intensity of his sexual antics.

“It’s okay that you like to play rough in the sack,” Klaus soothed. “There are better made rubber chicks and real chicks that are into that.”

“Is it okay, Klaus?” Five snapped, looking back at him, unable to focus properly but doing his damnedest to make it seem like he could. “Real women fall for guys who’ve eaten more bugs than their bug zapper and want to treat them like fuck dolls with no feelings?”

Trying to get in his face, his pointer finger in the air, ready to highlight his next point about how messed up his brain was, Five clumsily wobbled in his chair, bonking it into the barstool behind him.

Almost getting knocked off your seat while waiting for your drink, you glanced over your shoulder, cautiously taking in the people next to you who were having a very loud, very weird conversation.

“We both know there’s more to you than spirited biting and violent humping,” Klaus dismissed with a lazy wave of his hand. “You’re a big softy who’s into all that lovey-dovey romance stuff. Don’t even deny it. We’ve all seen how sweet you were with Dolores. Your setback is because you aren’t a one-night stand kind of man and that’s not a bad thing. You just need to find the right girl from the start and Voilà, problems solved. You get to play house again and be the domineering lover boy you like to be,” Klaus teased him, giving his arm a playful nudge.

On that note, Five’s hand flung up, signaling the bartender for another.

“So, you’re worried about getting too freaky on someone,” Klaus pondered, stroking his chin as he considered what he figured was Five’s biggest problem.

Unable to get the bartender's attention due to the masses of people pushed in next to the bar, Five cursed angrily then turned back to Klaus. “Getting freaky with me doesn’t even get close to the darkness level on this one. If I brought someone home and tied them to my headboard and did all the fucked-up things I have going on in my head to them, when I finally let them go, they’d go straight to the authorities, and from then on you’d be having these nice little visits with me while I’m tucked away in a padded room.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Klaus giggled. “As your older brother, I can attest that chicks dig older perverted guys. Your kinky nature is not a reason for you to be locked up.”

“No shit! There are plenty of other reasons for that! I’m a monster created by a space time continuum agency I founded and a diabolic alien dad! The way I think compared to normal people is so demented you could start a new branch of psychotherapy based on it! And you are not my older brother! I am over 26 years older than you!”

Hearing all of that, you looked over again, your eyebrows raised to the roof, but what the dark-haired stranger next to you said next was what really did you in.

“Perverted is not how you’d explain how much I want to fuck a quivering pussy that’s not battery operated!” he blurted. “I want to pin a girl to my bed and fuck her in every way I can think of, going at it so hard it hurts to even take myself in hand and paint her abused tits with my come as she lays there too delirious to even squirm anymore or make another moan of complaint.”

“Abused tits, you say?” Klaus questioned, like this was a totally normal conversation they were having, but you could see a flicker of mischief in the crinkle of his eyes, proving he had noticed you were listening and he was deliberately keeping his brother riled up for your benefit.

“Fuck yeah. I am going to tear her up. I’m going to suck on those perky points of pink pleasure and grope and grind my teeth on them until I make her come just from that!” Five momentarily came to his senses, cringing at his own loud declaration of wanton filth, but that only added to Klaus’s look of excitement and your inability to walk away.

Rolling his tongue obnoxiously, Klaus started taking inventory, sure to grace you with his silly smile for a second longer than necessary before he said, “I’d be happy to have some of that kind of dirty-dirty tittie abuse with that cutie right there…”

He winked at you, then looked to the bartender before Five could turn to see who he’d been looking at.

“And I’d take some abuse from that smooth operator…” He pointed the neck of his bottle at your server. “Getting railed from behind by him is definitely in my future.”

Noticeably uncomfortable, Five groaned, knees widening a little more as he pulled at the black fabric covering his crotch. Snatching up the shot the bartender just placed in front of him before he accidentally stirred himself up even more, he swiveled his chair around, watching the erotic movement of bodies gyrating under the mood lights flashing to the beat over the dance floor, about a million thoughts racing through his head and way too much blood racing between his legs. “What am I supposed to do now?” he asked himself. “God, I’m an idiot.”

Klaus shrugged and turned to join him. “Do the usual,” he answered, even though he wasn’t asking him what he should do about his life. “Pick someone. Let them keep your bed warm, tied to it if they are into that, then punch out a few little Fives if that’s your mutual thing.”

Five coughed as the ethanol made its way down his throat.

Klaus smiled. “Don’t worry, man. What you just said is enough to cream all the panties in this place. Talk like that can get you places. Awesome erotically wonderful places.”

Five rolled his eyes. “I am damaged goods and nobody wants the load of fuck-up I have to offer.”

“That is not true. You just need to put yourself out there and the rest will fall into place,” Klaus said, reiterating his point from earlier as he threw his arm around him.

Shoving him off, due to his lesser weight and how shit faced he was, Five ended up rotating around on his barstool again, accidentally bumping his knee into yours.

As if it was only now dawning on him that someone could be sitting there, his mouth opened but not another dirty wonderful thing came out as he stared at the blue and purples lights flashing across your face.

“Ohhhhh, excuse us, my lady!” Klaus exclaimed, like he didn’t know you’d been there almost the whole time that his brother had been drunkenly spilling his heart and extremely graphic sexual frustrations.

“No problem,” you shyly replied, poking your ice cubes with your straw as you looked back down, giving the dazed and very cute crazy person next to you a break.

So tipsy that he was functioning on instinct alone at this point, knocking back another shot of whiskey he discovered was waiting for him, Five’s eyes rolled back as he watched the flash of colorful lasers dancing across the bar’s high ceiling. “You know, Klaus, it's not necessary to have this conversation. I’m fine,” he said, sliding his empty away.

Reaching for the pen the bartender left lying next to someone else’s bill, Klaus started tapping it on the counter to the beat of the music. “As the founder of Destiny's Children, I have helped countless lost souls find true inner peace,” he defended.

Five let out a full belly laugh. “What? Through organized orgies?”

“Well yeah… mostly, but—"

“You don't get it,” Five interrupted. “It isn't just the sex. It's definitely that… but it isn't just that. I want to know what it’s like to feel my lips against the warmth of real skin. I want to be kissed back and not just pretend it’s happening. I want to bury my face in sweet smelling hair and press my hands against someone else’s as I wrap my body around them like a vine possessing a tree. I want that person to want the same thing with me! Yeah, I’m lonely. My life is terrible but I’m fine! I have done the worst things a person can do and here I am unhappy, and I deserve every second of it.”

“Oh, Five,” Klaus breathed. He set his bottle down on the bar.

“If I was with a real woman…” Five’s fingers tensed in his lap, balling into fists, “I wouldn’t even be able to handle it. I’d either do something horrible or humiliate myself and neither are acceptable options, and you know what? It’s fine because people like me don’t deserve second chances. I’m only still here because all I’m good at is running away from problems and surviving and hurting people.”

“I get that you are scared but you have nothing to be embarrassed about,” Klaus insisted, finally seeing through Five’s rumination of self-deprecating thoughts.

“I’m not embarrassed!” Five sharply shot back at him.

“Five,” Klaus said, unfazed, his smile full of love. “I know you will figure this out. There is a girl out there who's willing to match you in anything you throw at her. Women are much stronger than us, and this special somebody is going to love every second of her life with you and love you because you are a good person who loves more deeply than anyone I've ever known.”

Klaus pushed out his chair, stretching his arms above his head as he eyed the dance floor. Looking down at Five, he said, “Step one is putting yourself out there. Step two is spanking some hot ass instead of your dick.”

Giving Five’s hair another ruffle, he sauntered off, already letting the music flow through him with fluid movements of his body swaying through the crowd.

Five looked down at the bar, sliding his unused napkin closer, he picked up Klaus’s discarded pen.

Gliding his hand along, thinking about how Klaus didn’t get it and never would, but also hardly thinking straight at all, he wrote:

Wanna Fuck?

Like he was kid creating a note to pass in class, he added two boxes to check the reply to his ill-thought-out question, the options in his drunken stupor fittingly saying either:

yes or yes, Sir

Shaking his head at the stupidity of all of this, he laughed at himself. He dropped the pen and turned to the dance floor, trying to find Klaus but could only make out the silhouettes of strangers swaying in the purple haze.

“I’m not dancing with that dipshit,” he mumbled as he started to get up to leave.

Stopping short, he remembered his money but in reaching for it he noticed the small blue check mark that was now filling in the ‘yes, Sir’ box on his napkin.

Eyelids rapidly blinking to clear his vision didn’t make it disappear. His head slowly turned your way as he used his feet to twist him around on his chair. His eyes opened humorously wide when he saw you holding the pen.

Biting back your nerves with your teeth studding your bottom lip you waited for him to say something, but he didn’t seem able to.

Curiously drawn in by his speechless bewilderment as you were by the wild things he’d been confessing, your smile broke free.

“Hi,” you said, introducing yourself as you offered him your hand.

Hesitant at first, Five just stared at your formal extension of civility like he’d never seen such a thing but when his skin touched yours, that was it. He felt a zing of warmth under his skin, tickling up his spine, heating him until his ears burned.

Despite his mortification, he started to smile too.

Just then Klaus came up behind you, first taking in his brother’s smitten expression, then he looked down at the napkin sitting between you.

Taking one of the fifties off the pile of money sitting on the bar, he said. “Well, I guess that about wraps it up. My job is done here. Way to go, Five! Cab is on me, you horny kids!” “That’s my money,” Five said, looking at him with a boozy smirk that was so infectiously charming it made your heart skip a beat.

“Mine, yours, whatever.” Hand coming in hot from behind, Klaus gave Five’s butt a loud smack! “Have your fun, just don’t pop her this time,” he warned, but he was unable to maintain his look of authority when Five’s stunned expression turned into a grumpy looking scowl and you started laughing. “And I’m off to perform other miracles,” he announced, strutting off to join the bartender who was finishing his shift.

“She’s a keeper all the way, lil bro!” Klaus called out, giving Five a final thumbs up to go along with his goofy grin.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but something about Klaus’s inability to give up on him and the kind hearted look in your eyes, had Five’s defenses coming down like a missile detonating inside his brain, silencing the incessant voice inside him that was always telling him not to let anyone inside.

“How much did you hear?” he asked once you were alone again, knowing now that his brother had at least something to do with this peculiar turn of events.

“Enough,” you said, your smile warming even more. “You have some interesting fantasies. Are you a science fiction writer working out characterization or something?”

His questioning eyes moved from yours to the napkin and back again, his fingers uncertainly tapping the edge of the bar. “No. Not a writer. Some of what you heard was purely my imagination, and some of it was sadly very real, mostly the parts about me being way older than I look and me falling in love with a mannequin while being the last person alive on Earth.”

You blew a loose strand of hair out of your face then twirled the pen towards his note then laughed. “My taste in guys sucks, I guess, because I am apparently attracted to stark raving mad, man children.”

“I have superpowers too, so there’s that,” he casually added, tucking his hands in his pants pockets as he rocked back on his heels.

“Ah-huh…”

He didn’t look a day older than 19 with his cute, dimpled cheek, boyishly innocent looks, and that sexy lean build accentuated by his fitted waistcoat.

“How old are you again?” you asked.

Five raised his eyebrows as if preparing to lie but his penetrating gaze never left yours and somehow you were sure he wasn’t going to. “Physically… around 20-21,” he replied, then glanced at the new girl behind the bar, sitting up a little straighter, trying not to look so young or drunk. “Mentally…” he looked back at you, “closer to 67.”

You started giggling. “And… I apparently have daddy issues, and I need to get out of here.”

His soft eyes filled with disappointment.

Five nodded, looking away. “Right.”

“I meant with you,” you clarified.

He looked back. “Yeah? You weren’t messing with me with the—” He picked up his note like you’d forgotten what you’d checked off.

“No. I am not messing with you, but I plan to,” you said.

He looked like your words had caught him totally off-guard and unprepared. He started fidgeting.

Five looked so lost, but not more than a short cab ride later, he was no less excited about bringing you home with him, but also no less sober. For all his talk of abusing and sucking tits, he never tried to make a move on you other than allowing himself a few feather soft kisses that made his lower lip tremble against yours.

“In 65 years, you really have never done this with anyone other than this lovely Dolores of yours?” you breathlessly asked as he walked you backwards towards the door of his apartment, all the while placing a line of wet kisses along the side of your neck.

“Never,” he breathed, flinging his door open before he kicked it closed.

Lifting you off your feet, he stumbled from your added weight and you laughed, clinging to him even tighter as he moved through his small living space, entering his dimly lit bedroom.

Laying you out on his bed, Five crawled over you, his soft hair dangling in his face as he looked down at you with dark, glassy eyes. “I’m really drunk,” he said, giving you a sheepish smile filled with unnecessary guilt.

“I know.” You brushed his hair back, pulling his face to yours.

Five’s tongue darted in your mouth. Hands planted at your sides, he eased his body down, over yours. He made a throaty noise of distress before breaking away again, sitting up. “We don’t have to do this.”

“I know that too,” you sweetly informed him.

“I would be happy just to kiss you a little longer?” he quietly whispered.

Taking him by the tie, you easily maneuvered him into the position you had just been in, his body giving in to your slightest demand, but once there, he looked up at you worriedly searching for direction.

Positioning yourself between his legs, you said, “We are definitely not done kissing.”

“Okay,” he choked out when you lowered your body over his, kissing the edge of his jaw, then moved your lips along the curve of his throat, blanketing him with such an unexpected level of affection he was already panting from it.

As you worked to unbutton his vest and then his shirt, Five carefully let his hands touch you, smoothing them up and down your sides.

“That feels so good,” he gasped, moving one of his hands from your back into your hair as you fully straddled him, trailing your fingertip along his throat, then down the silky necktie leading to his navel.

Feeling him wriggling anxiously, you decided to tease him more directly.

Shifting back beside him, you made sure he was holding your eye when you started to unzip his pants. Working the fine wool fabric aside, you applied a few gentle kisses along the length of cotton covering the hard flesh trying to spring out of his black briefs.

“Do you want me to stop?” you asked, taking note of how distraught Five looked when you took hold of him, lying his thick stiff cock against his firm belly, leaving your hand over it.

“Fuck no!” he groaned as you came back up closer again, watching his eyes flutter closed. He buried his face against your neck. “Please don’t stop,” he begged as he reached for the bunched-up fabric of your skirt, helplessly rocking himself upwards, trying to fuck into your hand.

Palm sliding over him again, thumb and forefinger making a ring around him, you were only just able to touch them together again. Thick veins hotly ran the length of Five's silky soft cock skin, below that, the heaviness of his tight sack was delicately soft and dry. Biting his lip, after you started touching him there too, you could tell that he was trying so hard not to react to your naughty explorations.

It was clear that though he wanted you to lead him in this, he was having a very hard time letting it happen.

Caressing his thighs with your other hand, pushing them further apart, you hopped between his legs and came down on him.

Five’s left hand was on the back of your head in a heartbeat, his voice dropping low with strain as your soothing fingers moved over his most vulnerable parts.

“Oh-fffff,” he groaned, throwing his head back into his pillows when you started kissing him in the center of the ribs while grasping his cock.

His breathing was coming quicker from just that, your own body stirring in response to his frantic noises.

Sucking and kissing, licking along his torso, Five threaded his fingers through your hair, kneading appreciatively against your scalp, but his hand went still when your mouth tickled below his navel, his anticipation causing his stomach muscles to quiver.

You only had to turn your head to expose his cock to your kisses, your heart was thumping so hard it hurt, a cruel mixture of excitement and nerves, your breaths were coming as close and as short as his.

Turning, the tip of him was at your lips. Above you, Five let out a moan like nothing you’d ever heard before, as you started to steadily kiss him there too.

Adding in a few languid strokes, gently pumping your hand up and down his shaft, and it sounded like you were killing him.

The head of his cock felt like satin on your lips, and the smallest touch of your mouth to it made him gasp. His nails were suddenly digging into your scalp. He was beyond words, that much you could tell.

Steering your mouth along his length, you didn’t stop until your face was buried in him. Five smelled like something you had no name for, but the scent of the dark tuft of hair at the base of his cock was enough to bring a fresh coating of wetness to the inside of your already moist panties.

Empowered by his reactions, every dainty teasing kiss you placed on Five’s delicious cock caused him to let out sharp exhalations, accompanied by legs twitches, and beautifully whimpered moans.

Working your tongue over him in hot little flashes, gently sucking, you let the steady stroke of your lower lip glide along the underside of his shaft.

Writhing with the heels of his feet digging into his mattress, he cried out at the first touch of your tongue, moving over him, tasting the saltiness of fluid dripping out of him.

“Stop, stop, stop,” he whispered, urgently trying to move your face away from his cock before he started emptying his seed, which to his dismay, was already spurting out onto his stomach in thick white streaks.

Face twisted up while he panted through clenched teeth, as you looked up at him in shock, Five’s hand shook mid-air, hovering over his dick. While thinking about grasping it himself to give in to a few final jerks, even without that, his hips fucking nothing but air, he managed to produce even more copious evidence of his climatic release.

“I- I’m sorry,” you said, blown away by how he looked over what you’d just done to him, and how easily you did it.

He shook his head, laughing through gritted teeth, his eyes tightly shut. “So am I.”

He swallowed rapidly, several times. In the throes of passion, Five looked like he’d just been tortured but loved it. He was showing a face he normally hid away and it was the most exquisite thing you’d ever witnessed.

Watching him become totally still, his tongue flicking across his lips, between shallow breaths, you were smiling so much it hurt.

He came, from just a few kisses, just from having you down there. All it took was a few touches.

“That was the hottest thing I have ever seen,” you said, placing yourself so you were kneeling beside him again.

Giving him a moment, you watched his smile grow, his body and mind still absorbed in his bliss. It was magic to see him so unburdened. So happy. All you wanted was to see this face, his eyes closed, his breathing labored, insensible to the world.

The vision of him lying there would forever be scored into your memory, vivid and perfect.

Finally able to make himself sit up, Five reached for you with urgent hands, intent on kissing you again. His sleepy kisses left you in no doubt at all about his approval. He trembled all over, his mouth clumsy but insistent.

When he reached under your skirt, you stopped him.

Five hesitated, worriedly meeting your gaze. He looked shaken, every bit as shaken as you felt.

You stroked his hair, then cupped his face between your palms and returned his kisses with something much softer and slower.

He whispered your name, and you knew that he wanted to return the pleasure you’d given him, but you also knew that he was too drunk to fully get what he should out of such a long awaited experience.

“There is no hurry,” you whispered.

He said your name again, like a question on his soft lips.

He shook his head in frustration with his lack of words.

“Hush,” you said, drawing his head to your shoulder, enjoying how he clutched at your arms for support.

There were so many things he’d said about himself at the bar. So many awful things he’d claimed he'd been through. In his eyes, he’d fallen from grace, but with a confession you were never meant to hear, both your lives would be forever changed in a very good way.

Five let go after a few minutes, stealing another uncertain glance at you that was met with nothing but tenderness and the reassurance of your smile.

His hair was a mess, and you guessed yours was no better. Swinging your legs over the side of his bed, his face fell. He was sure that you were going to leave him and laugh your whole way home over what he’d just done.

Moving to shut the curtains and click off the light, you turned back. Five was sitting there, pants still undone, his shirt wide open, blankly staring, his hands folded in his lap. Sprinting back, you crawled back to him, putting your hands on his shoulders, aching inside with something for him that had nothing to do with sex.

You’d never felt this desire before. This devotion. It wasn’t pity, but compassion, a wanting to give everything to him.

Looking uncomfortable, he said nothing as you carefully undid his tie and tossed it over the wooden rail of his headboard.

“I’m glad you invited me over,” you said.

Arranging his hair out of his eyes, tucking it back behind his ears, you waited for him to lift his face and look at you.

“Aren’t you?” you pushed.

“I appreciate your willingness to give me a try…” he said, unable to give the words the levity you knew he felt.

“I want to give you more than a try.”

“Why?” he questioned, all attempts at calm slipping away from him. Grasping at your hips, Five shook his head, before he could look away you saw a glimmer of tears in his eyes. “There are no words for what I am and why you should run the other direction as fast as possible and never look back.”

Bending until his face was level with yours, leaving no escape from your gaze, you said, “I want you. At the bar, even before you proved you weren’t delusional, I wanted you. When you showed me how you blink while we were in the alley and you accidentally fell over that trash can when you reappeared, I almost peed my pants, sure… but it was worth it to see your handsome face turn so pink and it sure made all the things you were saying seem much more believable.”

“I’m too old for you,” he argued but lacking any conviction at this point.

“I don’t care,” you shot back. “You are a beautiful mystery, Five Hargreeves and I love mysteries”

You gave him a peck on the cheek, then the lips when he started to pout, trying to get more.

You laughed as he slowly drew you against his chest, one hand splaying across your butt and the other caressing the line of your spine.

There was something remote in his piercing gaze but you weren’t at all scared of it. “You love beautifully fucked-up mysteries?” he challenged.

Kissing him again, Five leaned into it, his hand on your backside moving in a way that was no longer as innocent.

A playful little tug on the back of his hair and he let you go again.

“Lay down,” you ordered, trying to sound bossy but your laugh over his immediate obedience ruined it.

Five laid back and reached out his hand and you took it, letting him pull you in next to him.

Your fingers entwined, with the warmth of his body folded against your backside. Five kissed your neck, his words warm as he breathed you in.

The comfort and safety of his arms holding you, your eyes started to feel heavy.

Your breaths fell in pace with his.

Just before you fell asleep, you heard him whisper, “This is all I have ever wanted.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Thank you for requesting this one Anon. I know you didn't ask for a reader insert or that this one went where it did, but I couldn't help myself to give a little surprise or two. 😂 I hope I didn't go too far off the rails, and you liked it. Also, sorry for it taking longer because of my added ending. ❤️

~Special thanks to my homegirl, @badkitty3000 for always listening to me fret about my Five writing and for finding all my mistakes and making me look less silly when I post this stuff. 😄❤️ 🫂

~⭐ if anyone wants to be tagged on my stuff in the future, or removed from my tag list, let me know. 🫶

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