#to it in this case like wanting to have an idol bf and it doesn’t necessarily have to be him in my mind i guess it could be basically anyon

[lunimy]

why is a kpop idol making me for real question if i’m aro

[onlyswan]

summary: in which the sweet ache of yearning metamorphoses into the art of intimacy and knowing.

idol!jk x reader, est. relationship / fluffy fluff, a dash of angst, explicit content (minors dni!!) / word count: 10.5k

warnings/content: divided into seven parts. it’s like a timeline hehe <3 ; mainly in jk’s pov!! ; underaged drinking (oc is 18 in that part but the legal age of drinking in sk is 19 so!) ; mention of almost? n*des (neither sent by our mcs) ; making out ; thigh grinding ; brief or*l (f. rec + allusions to m. rec) ; mention and allusion to s*x [yesyes it’s the first time] [oc may or may not cry a little too…] ; they have a ‘what if i die before you?’ discourse lmao

playlist! restless - bibi ; lily of the valley - daniel ; who do you love - the black skirts ; intro (end of the world) - ariana grande ; snow - josh makazo

> in which masterlist!

note: look at my gorjus ethereal bf !!!! anyway… hi, i’m back ^_^ here’s my not so little offering to those who’s been missing the iw couple <3 as always i’d love to hear your thoughts :") come chat!!

—

I. THE FALLING

“just stay the night.” you blurt out, turning to jungkook to express your worry. “i can’t let you leave right now. it’s not safe.”

his wide eyes scan the headline of the news once more.

heavy snowfall, road accident, several injured… versus staying the night at the apartment of not quite his friend, not quite his lover, for the first time.

he can’t deny that he favors the latter over the former with an explicable feeling rendering him breathless. still, he can’t allow his enthusiasm to cloud his better judgement. he knows he’s still somewhat of a stranger to you. he doesn’t want to overstay his welcome or make you feel uncomfortable in your own space.

“are you sure you’re comfortable with it?”

“sure. should i be worried?“

“no! uhm, i just thought not everyone would be comfortable to have a person they’re not very close with to sleep over.”

you chuckle, lightly bumping your shoulder against his. “chill. i have bigger things to be scared of than the guy who just cried with me while watching an anime movie.”

oh… he thought you were too absorbed in wiping your own tears to notice him crying too.

he slumps back on the sofa with a sigh. “i see. i guess we’re left with no choice then.”

“i have an extra toothbrush!”

—

jungkook doesn’t quite understand people’s obsession with his eyes, but getting enamored by the innocence that yours seem to glisten with, he wonders if he is experiencing the same case.

“can you see if this fits you?”

you stand before him with a stack of neatly folded clothes, unraveling a pair of gray sweatpants to hold up infront of him.

“i think… there’s a string? oh, there’s none.”

he chuckles. “you forgot?”

“well, it’s not mine. my ex never came back for his clothes.“ you huff with a roll of your eyes, muttering a silent his loss into the air. “i’ve washed it though! don’t worry! it’s just- you know- sleeping in denim pants is uncomfortable.”

does that mean you still wear the clothes of your exes? this pisses him off for some unknown reason. he would much rather sleep uncomfortably than wear their clothes.

you kindly smile, pushing the black knitted sweater against his chest. “but this is mine. it’s really warm and comfortable!”

but on another note, you’re too sweet and thoughtful. how could he ever say no?

—

the sweatpants is a little loose around his waist. your sweater, however, feels incredibly soft against his skin. as he walks back into the living room, he pulls down his sweater paws and runs his hands across its sleeves. if he had to describe the feeling it evokes, he would say it is very much similar to rolling around on freshly washed and dried bedsheets.

“it’s nice, right?”

he whips his head around upon hearing the sound of your voice. for a quick second, you caress his arm with the back of your hand, and even with the barrier separating your skin from his, the casual touch causes his breath to hitch.

“i finished cleaning the room. i set up a comforter on the floor so you can take the bed.”

“is that so? thank you!”

he zooms past you. you’re left standing alone, blinking in confusion. he is more than happy to welcome himself into your bedroom… so he can slyly steal the bed you prepared for yourself. he slides under the covers, makes himself all cozy with his hands resting on the back of his head as if it’s not a raging winter and he’s lying under the summer sun.

“and what do we have here?”

jungkook cracks one eye open. there you are leaning against the doorframe with your arms crossed. you raise your eyebrows at him, demanding an answer.

“what?” he smiles childishly. “you’re the one doing me a favor. i’m not going to let you sleep on the floor.”

“how polite. suit yourself, sir.” you shake your head in amusement, smiling.

you enter the room, flicking the lightswitch off and locking the door at the speed of light. without thinking, probably; muscle memory formed by your routine. he is the only thing not a part of it. yet.

“goodnight, jungkook.”

“goodnight.”

he still sees you moving around in the dark. you crouch down beside him and he feels the extra pillow he’s partially crushing under his weight be jerked away all of a sudden.

“i need this one. sorry.” you whisper-shout apologetically. “goodnight! sweet dreams!”

—

jungkook sighs, tired of mindlessly scrolling through social media. his eyes flutter shut as he allows his phone to collapse on his chest. he is yet to even figure out if going to work later would be possible because of the blocked roads. he has gotten enough earful about not heading straight to the dorm and he cannot risk any more. because then, he would have to see less of you.

he sneakily opens his eyes, craning his head to the side to steal a glance of you, but he finds that you’ve already fallen asleep on your textbook and he’s unable to look away again. bathed in the warm light of the lampshade on your bedside, he has never seen you more peaceful. he learns with hard evidence that you’re a side sleeper, curled up underneath the blanket and cutely snuggled against the pillow you took from him.

he doesn’t know how long he’s been admiring you, but he knows he doesn’t want you to think of him as a creep. you stir in your sleep and his hand swiftly flies to his phone. pretending to be absorbed in reading the first tweet he comes across, he tries taking another subtle glimpse of you.

it’s as if he’s been caught and punished.

he flinches.

your textbook collides with the floor, landing only inches next to his pillow. he begins sweating. he could’ve easily gotten a concussion at best, death at worst.

he sits up with his elbows anchoring him, poking around to investigate the cause of the fall. admittedly, he’s a little sad to see your back now facing him.

“shit, what am i doing?” he roughly rubs his face to knock some sense back into him.

he needs to get some sleep. yeah, that’s it. nothing more.

he picks up your textbook, taking it upon himself to bring it over to your desk. on his way back, he also decides to to turn off the lampshade.

his finger freezes on the button, however. he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip to silence the giggle that threatens to escape him— so fucking endeared to discover that you’ve kicked off your blanket and rolled over to your other side along with the pillow, your thigh carelessly slumped over it.

he tucks himself back into bed, heart feeling all warm and fuzzy.

“so, so adorable.”

the words escape him without thought; the smile on his face ever-present even as he drifts off to dreamland.

—

II. ALLOW ME TO LINGER BY THE DOOR

“hey, it’s getting late. shouldn’t you be heading home by now?”

you sit beside jungkook on the sofa after a phone call, and his round eyes grow twice their size when you steal the iced tea from his grasp, nonchalant as your lips wrap around the same red straw his have been only seconds ago.

he awkwardly clears his throat, perhaps to mask his loud heartbeat. “is your friend okay?”

“oh, she’ll be fine. it’s her fault so i can’t do much for her this time.” you shrug, picking up your chopsticks as you eye the last dumpling in the bowl. “still hate that guy, though.”

“the one you think is lying about being rich?”

“i don’t know much about real ones, but i’m pretty sure i’ve seen enough fake diamonds!”

that seems to hits the right spot to elevate your mood. you hum happily as you chew, collapsing on the cushions and looking straight ahead at the television screen.

“sorry about that. you must be bored and tired by now.”

“about that…” jungkook swallows his nervousness. he rests his arm on top of the sofa, just to act cool. he’s so close to you yet still so distant. “i’m dead tired from filming today. i’ve been up since four in the morning. would it be too much trouble if i spend the night again?”

“i should be the one asking you that. why do you like this trashy place way more than i do?” you shake your head, wiping your mouth with a paper napkin. “i’ll go fix up so you can rest then. you’re lucky minji didn’t claim the bed first.”

fuck, he was supposed to get kicked out?

“wait! do you need a change of clothes?”

“there’s no need!” he replies a little too quickly. if he has to wear the clothes of another one of your exes, he might end up on the news for setting himself on fire. “i have extras in my backpack i didn’t got to wear today.”

“oh, okay.” you flash him a smile before disappearing into the bedroom.

yeah, how convenient.

he exhales through his mouth.

when did he start lying? his mother would be very disappointed in him. but on the other hand, his father would explode in boisterous laughter and pat him on the back. nevermind… that just makes it worse.

“guess i’m going to hell!” he shrugs, wearing a smile that is rather too jubilant.

he grabs his backpack on the floor and heads to the bathroom; your home is another home away from home.

—

jungkook is exhausted from dance practice. he must’ve exerted himself too hard again without realizing it. for the third time this week, he’s attaching pain relief patches to his neck and shoulders, shirt pulled to the side as to expose the area. normally, he’d just take it off without care, but he’s in a different setting. while he’s pretty confident with the current condition of his body, it would be rude to strip out of nowhere. and you make him nervous. would he fluster you or would you fluster him? he’s not prepared to find out yet.

“are you okay?”

his movements from below capture your attention amidst catching up to the events in your group chats.

“i’m okay, just a little sore. don’t worry!” he waves off your concern with a scrunch of his nose. “i also fell asleep in the car earlier so…”

“i can give you a massage. if you want.”

“no, it’s fine.” even though the offer sounds extremely tempting, especially coming from you. “i know you’re tired too.”

“hm, your loss. i’m kind of an expert at it.”

he squints his eyes at you. “really?”

“you don’t believe me?”

you sit up on the bed with an offended gasp, and he laughs at how you quite literally rose up to the challenge.

“we do have actual experts come in and take care of us too, you know that?”

“excuse you, i’m an actual expert! i have more than a decade of experience!”

he isn’t surprised to witness you climb down immediately afterwards, sitting behind him with your hands already on his shoulders.

“hmm, my dad worked at construction sites. my mom had a desk job. this- this was my job.” your fingers begin pressing down as if you’re assessing him, touching the bare skin of his still exposed shoulder. “got paid with extra allowance. making money was easy back then.”

“you’re so adorab- ah, ah, ah-” his sentence is cut short by his own self when you apply pressure on a big knot, gently massaging it in small circles to loosen the tightly wound muscle fibers. “fuck, it hurts… yeah, that’s good. don’t stop.”

he hears you snort, feels your forehead collapse on his back as vibrant giggles rack your body. a blush of red creeps up to his cheeks and he’s thankful that you can’t see his face.

he laughs along, belly aching. “okay, okay- i heard it! i should keep my mouth shut!”

“no no no, i won’t laugh anymore!”

“you’re still doing it right now!”

“i’ll stop!” you sniffle, laughed to the point of tears. you squeeze his shoulders. “just relax! you’re so tense here, see? no wonder it hurts.”

there’s no denying that his body is pushed to its limits everyday; he has grown accustomed of this kind of lifestyle and he doesn’t complain. you’re making him want to do it all the time, though. if it means getting pampered like this? hell yeah.

“it hurts here too. over- over here-” he reaches a hand to his back, patting the area that has been bothering him all day. “this part. will you make it go away, please?”

“here? your shoulder blade?”

“yes!”

“okay. tell me if i should go gentler or harder. i don’t want to hurt you.”

it’s his turn to snort. he shortly learns that was not a smart move.

“ah, ah, ah-” you pull at his ear and this time he moans in pain. “oh, come on! you gave that one away!”

“shut up! you’re not allowed to laugh too!”

—

he tries not to create more embarrassing sounds. at some point he begun to busy himself with his phone, but to no avail, there are occasional moans and grunts he can’t bite down because you weren’t lying about being a pretty damn good masseur. and then he does it on purpose once, just to hear you laugh again, because his being already feels a million times lighter and you show no signs of exhaustion or boredom.

“you have a mole here,” you casually observe. he feels a light touch on the side of his neck and the butterflies in his stomach become untamed. “it’s sexy.”

he blushes, caught off guard by the compliment. “thank you.”

“you’re welcome.” you hum.

the minutes pass by and he is no longer faking silence, however. all he can think about now is how he wishes that he was lying down for this. how long has it been? you’ve been definitely at it for almost an hour. he yawns, eyelids fighting to stay open but failing miserably.

“hey, wipe your drool.”

he blinks. your beautiful face greets him— for a second, he’s convinced that he has begun dreaming. with a mischievous grin, you lift the collar of his shirt to wipe the corners of his lips, and in a state of near delirium, he cackles.

“seriously, thank you… i-i don’t even know what to say. i really needed that.” he sighs, carelessly rubbing his heavy eyes. “i’ll treat you to dinner tomorrow. how about that?”

“sounds good. now go to sleep.” you pat his back before rising on your feet. “your head kept on dropping and i felt bad.”

“that happens a lot.”

“well, it’s bad for your neck. keep doing it and i’ll get more free dinners.”

the unmistakable sound of a kiss that follows, it suspiciously matches with the warmth that lingers on his cheek.

“goodnight!”

“goodnight…” he only manages to mumble.

his mind has gone off to space. you tuck yourself into your bed after turning off the lampshade while jungkook feels like he just got blasted to the moon. he needs to get out of here. STAT.

“i’ll go drink some water. do you want me to get you a glass?”

“no, i’m fine.”

he makes out your figure shuffling in the dark, snuggled closely to a pillow.

he nods, which you probably didn’t even see. he steps out of the room as quietly as possible, slowly closing the door as to produce the smallest click. he pads to the kitchen still feeling light, almost like he’s walking on a path made out of clouds. he pours himself a glass of cold water from the fridge, chugs it down to the very last drop.

he licks his lips as he sets down the glass on the counter. he sighs deeply. he can still feel the outline of your lips, sticky lip balm printed on his skin. is it normal that he couldn’t be bothered to wipe it off?

“totally worth going to hell for.” he muses, unaware of the smirk that has started playing on his lips.

he briskly washes the glass at the sink, wiping it dry with a towel before deposting it back into the rack.

as expected, you’ve already fallen asleep by the time that he returns. the light from the hallway casts a glow over your face and it’s a sight that is painfully intimate in its own peculiar way.

he can’t put a name to it, but whatever this feeling is, he likes it and he wants it to last.

and so, he lingers by the door for a few seconds more.

—

III. THE YEARNING

jungkook hisses your name with yet another curse, heart so close to jumping out of his chest. when you were on the phone incoherently begging him to take you home from the club, he expected to carry out a passed out person from his car to their apartment floor, which he found no problem with aside from the possibility of having to deal with them throwing up.

instead, he is struck by an unusual combination of amusement and distress. he has been running around trying to capture you as you spend your final bursts of energy ringing strangers’ doorbells. your exhilarated laughter echoes throughout the hallways. he must confess that he was laughing along with you the first time… until it started to get a little bit out of hand.

if someone recognizes him by chance, he would be beyond fucked.

“don’t- don't do it! stop it! please!” he finally manages to seize your wrist before it can reach another, forced to wrap his arms around your torso so you won’t escape from him again. “are you crazy? it’s 3am! people are sleeping!”

“that’s the point.” you mewl, looking back to him with a childish pout underneath the hood of your coat. “why are they sleeping? it’s when the ghosts come out. does no one ever think about ghosts’ feelings? because i do! if i were a ghost, i’d be lonely and crying right now!”

oh my god, what is happening?

“so let’s invite them and everyone for more drinks!” you jump up and down, his secure hold doesn’t hold a candle to your hypernese. “jungkook, i want to drink more! more more more! buy me!”

unfortunately, he doesn’t have the time to dwell on your cuteness. he hears a door click from behind and his instincts instantaneously kick in. oh shit, you actually fucking woke someone up. he sweeps you off your feet, clasping a hand over your mouth to mute your angry protests. he turns at a corner, trapping you against the wall.

a deep and manly voice fills the silence. “hello? who’s there?”

two pairs of eyes widen, staring at each other as if they can read minds through them. he notices the unsteady rise and fall of your chest; your heart must be beating as fast as his. he has to pull down his black mask to be able to breathe.

“you’re going to be the death of me.” he grumbles with a pointed look.

when you smile, he perceives it first through the palm of his hand before it reaches your eyes. only then does he fully register the dangerously close proximity between you.

dangerous because he wants to kiss you.

dangerous because you’d dare him to do it and his self-control has been reduced to a million cracks.

“ah, this prank again! fucking teenagers!”

and the door slams shut. you both flinch.

“that guy has a fridge full of beer!”

you are vexed, voice muffled but still clearly loud. you harshly paw at his forearm to remove his hand, and your pout finally comes into view.

“no, you’ve had enough! seriously, what am i going to do with you? huh? you shouldn’t even be drinking at all.” he blows a loud breath, frustratedly running his fingers through his hair. “how did you even get in the club? fake id? you have it, don’t you?”

you rush to defend yourself. “i’m only younger by a year and i don’t look like it! as if they actually care in those places. they only want money.”

he begins to question if the bloodshot of your eyes is solely because of the alcohol or you’re also on the verge of tears.

“why? are you mad at me?”

“no, i’m not mad. should i be?”

“…i don’t know. why do you even care about things like that? you’re not my boyfriend or my parent so i don’t need to explain myself to you.” you angrily ramble, wriggling out of the tight spot he had you trapped in.

and that felt like a fucking dagger to the heart.

“you know what? i-i can do this. i can take care of myself, so go home.”

“____, don’t be like this, please. you’re drunk.”

“i’m not drunk, just tipsy! you can go home!”

he runs after you, but you shrug him off and continue walking away, perhaps a little too fast. he curses himself when he catches up to you seconds too late, witnessing you fall over to the floor with a thump and a whimper.

“are you okay?! where does it hurt?!”

you shake your head profusely, but your hands gripping your ankle gives away the answers. he doesn’t press you further. without another word, he hooks an arm under your knees and the other under your back, swooping you from the floor. he stands up straight, adjusts your position slightly, and walks the path you attempted to travel alone in your intoxicated state.

perhaps he is mad. he went and abandoned his rest time when you said that you needed him, only for you to rudely send him home. he has the right to be mad, even just a little bit, despite the fact that he isn’t your boyfriend, right?

not that it matters.

you cling to his neck and it all melts away.

he glances down at you. a soft smile has replaced your frown. “oh, so now you’re happy again?”

“yes,” you tilt your head. “feels like i’m floating.”

“where’s your key?”

“huh?”

“your key-”

“oh!”

you dig out the item from the pocket of your coat. you proudly dangle it infront of his face along with the colorful keychains attached to it; the bear was gifted by yours truly from japan. he totally forgot that it existed. the last time he saw it was when he tossed it in the paper bag he gave you.

he’s not even your boyfriend. the two of you know that doesn’t make sense anymore.

—

after he sets you down on the sofa, he kneels on the floor to remove the heels from your aching feet. he gets the hang of it after unfastening the second strap. while he’s preoccupied, you strip off your coat to combat the increased temperature of your body.

“i need to pee.” you urgently kick off the heels as you rise on your feet.

jungkook looks up and forgets how to breathe. you are irresistibly gorgeous; the cherry red mid-thigh dress you’ve been hiding from him hugs your body so perfectly. he’s ensnared and thoroughly convinced that you’re aware of your power to leave men and women alike sweating and tongue-tied.

goddammit, he is mad. you were at the club looking like this among flashing lights and grinding bodies and he is not your boyfriend.

“doesn’t your ankle hurt?”

“doesn’t matter. i need to pee.”

he clicks his tongue as you limp your way towards the bathroom.

“you’re so hardheaded.”

he lifts up your arm to bring it over his shoulders; he holds your waist to assist you.

“and your heart is so soft.” you giggle, and his world stops when you hold his face… peppering his cheek with an amount of kisses he doesn’t have half the mind to count.

you said you’re not drunk, just tipsy. does that mean you genuinely like him this much and you’ll remember it when you wake up?

dear god, he hopes so.

—

jungkook is supposed to wake up in four hours. however, he’s still wide awake sitting by your pillow, mind completely blank on what he’s supposed to do now that you’re safe and sound. he can’t bring himself to leave just yet. you bump against his knee as you shuffle and squirm, eyes closed but yet to land in the confines of slumber. he can hear your rugged and frustrated breathing, can’t help but to hopelessly adore how pretty you are even with knitted eyebrows and tousled hair.

he likes you so much. he knows it hasn’t been that long since you met but the thought of losing the chance of winning you over makes him want to cry and throw a tantrum. you’re running in his mind day and night. you have permeated all his senses. you charm him with your unapologetic existence and you effortlessly captivate his ungiven affections.

when it comes to love, his passion becomes a weakness.

a whine emits from your parted lips as if you sense that something is wrong. your hands pat around the mattress— searching and searching, until they stumble upon him. you push yourself up, head landing on the pillow, and your arms, they hug him close by his waist. only then do you finally come to a still, chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

you are at peace and he is experiencing an emotional turmoil— falling in love. this is simply not fair.

the lines are becoming so blurry. he is losing control of his hands, hyperaware of what he is capable with his possession of them. he strokes your head gently, hair brushing across his palm— this is soothing to him as much as it is you.

this feels right, he thinks. he wants time to stretch from this galaxy to another.

he feels a weak tug at his sweater.

“i’m cold now,” your complaint comes out mumbled against the thick fabric.

next thing he knows you’re pulling him down by his collar, leaving him with no choice but to lie down beside you as to not crush you under his weight. where the hell did you gather the strength to do that?!

he hisses in panic. “yah! what are you doing?”

“i’m cold,” you repeat.

“____, we’re lying down on the blanket. if you can just scoot over for a seco- i’ll take it out. move-”

his attempts on communicating to you only fall on deaf ears. he zips his mouth to admit defeat.

you cling to him for warmth, and jungkook finds himself giving more than that. he volunteers his arm to be your pillow, softly cupping the back of your head as you nuzzle your face on his chest; his other arm wraps around your torso to keep you close. it is quite a tight fit on a single bed— he figures out a lame excuse for later.

now he can say for certain that you’re hearing his heartbeat, but he doesn’t seem to care anymore. he also doesn’t mind the scent of alcohol because it’s tragically losing the battle against your sweet perfume. it renders him enchanted. and the dress… that hypnotizing dress. he squeezes his eyes shut, trying to banish the sinful thoughts flooding his imagination.

he didn’t peg you to be the physically affectionate type, but seeing that you can’t sleep without hugging something, someone— he wants to be just the thing that you cherish as your safe haven. he wants this memory to be cute… and romantic. but too much heavy on the romance, you affect his body and heart in ways no one can.

he tries to will his growing erection to ebb away. it’s not an appropriate situation. he likes and respects you too much.

“my makeup…”

you said it so quietly, he almost believed he was making it up in his head.

“what was that?”

“will you- please, will you help me take off my makeup? it’s bothering me.” you make one final request at the depths of drowsiness, speech slurred and stuttered. “the wipes… the drawer behind you.”

he should’ve thought of that. he’s learning. next time, he will.

he settles into his previous position after grabbing the wipes.

“how do i help? is it okay if i d-”

he interrupts his question when he realizes that you’ve finally fallen asleep.

his sigh momentarily fills the defeaning silence of the night. the exhaustion has also begun to take a toll on him. he’s going to have to catch up on sleep during car rides and set breaks. he’s already dreading it as he’s planning around their hectic schedule.

as he wipes off your makeup as carefully as possible, he mutters into the thin air. “you owe me a massage for this.”

—

IV. HAPPINESS OUTSIDE DAYDREAMS

“you’re my boyfriend now and you don’t sleep on the floor anymore. how cute is that?” you happily think out loud, swinging your feet dangling at the edge of the bed. “but if you want to go back to our old ways… my bed is small even for me.”

“no way. are you kidding?!” he jokingly protests in an angry manner. “your bed is perfect.”

jungkook is on cloud nine. it sure does feel good to hear you sound so happy calling him your boyfriend, even more so to reap its special privileges.

“i keep forgetting to ask. which side do you prefer?”

you’re sat facing the door. “i don’t know, but i’m used to sleeping here.”

“alright. i’ll stay here.” he climbs under the covers, spreading his arms once his back hits the mattress. the smirk on his face widens. “come here, baby.”

a grunt slips past his lips when you jump into his arms without warning, eventually falling over to the side when he moves to envelope you in his embrace.

“you’re so warm.” you purr in contentment as you bury your face against his chest. “i love cuddling so much.”

“i’ve noticed,” he replies. he softly squeezes your exposed thigh after you slump your leg over his hip to maximize your comfort. “your pillow must be softer than me though.”

“no, i like you more… cuddling is proven to have health benefits, you know?”

he quirks an eyebrow. “oh really? give me examples.”

“it releases happy chemicals in the brain… it apparently also helps to lower blood pressure and heart rate, and it-” you fail to stifle a sleepy yawn, hands grasping the cloth of his shirt and forming closed fists. “…improves one’s quality of sleep.”

“i can see it’s working well for you.” he chuckles.

“is it for you?”

“mhmm, yes,” he presses his lips to your forehead. “i’m happy. there’s only happy chemicals in my brain right now.”

jungkook means it wholeheartedly and it feels strange. he doesn’t feel happy in this moment alone. this happiness is colossal and there’s not nearly enough hours in a day to take it all in. this happiness will still be here when he wakes up tomorrow, and the day after that. this happiness stays with him even when you’re not physically present. you’ve turned him into an optimistic fool but it’s not always that he experiences an attraction this strong.

he’s smitten and he can’t hide it. the people who are around him everyday sees it on his face; he doesn’t even need to say it out loud. all that corny shenanigans about romance giving you a certain type of glow is apparently true, it turns out.

“kissing is said to have the same effects, actually.”

your coyness captivates him from his thoughts.

he draws back slightly, the glint of mischief in his eyes mirroring yours. “where do you learn these things?”

“through reading and experience.” you shrug innocently. “want to test that out too?”

you’re everywhere. he can taste your lips, your tongue; your body wash floods his sense of smell with a sweet and clean scent, plus something else he can’t quite name. he can only it describe as you. your hair is tangled in his fingers and your hands… so delicate and teasing with every touch, it feels like being electrified. it still feels incredibly chilly outside but heat is radiating off his skin. he needs to peel himself off you before he loses his last shred of self-control.

“baby…” he whispers, lips only a couple inches from yours. he takes your hand in a tender hold, placing it over his racing heartbeat. “i’m not sure about this one being good for my health.”

“but it is. you just burnt some calories.” you smile, wiping the sweat that has started to form on his forehead. “should we stop?”

he feels his cheeks become more flushed, but his craving for you has overtaken his shyness. he might as well be drunk; intoxicated by you.

“no.” he refuses, conflicted and almost pained. “i can’t…”

he gets rid of the distance between your lips once more, swallowing the first obscene moan he brings out of you.

—

V. THE SPRING FLOWER IN THE EYE OF THE STORM

although you know they held affection for you, the boys you’ve attracted in your life have made one thing clear: they see you as an object of desire, and you unintentionally play the part well. if you were going to make their wet dreams come true, then you ought to derive pleasure from it as well without shame.

but with jungkook, the tables have turned. you wore the same lipstick from last time to rile him up on purpose, but instead you’re the one stuck trying to recall a time you were this putty in somebody’s hands. you’re not in control— you expect this thought would make you spiral, but it doesn’t.

you stumble inside your apartment making out with your boyfriend and you have an orange azalea tucked behind your ear. his hand is in your mess of a hair and it protects your head from the impact of the wall as your back collides with it. you don’t know if it was on purpose or not but your heart flutters nonetheless. this is sickeningly romantic and you want to drown yourself in it.

“oh, feels good.” his mouth on your neck is addictive, you imagine it would be heavenly on more vulnerable parts of you. your nails harshly dig into his shoulder as he takes his time with every lick, every nip of his teeth— eager to learn more about your body and what makes it weak at the knees.

you tug at his hair with a whisper. “jungkook…”

“mhm? yes, baby?”

you thought you’ve seen and felt enough. you know about lust, but never felt a chemistry this electrifying. there’s an emotion screaming beneath the daze in jungkook’s eyes; it’s always been there, but not this loud. you think if you trust your gut and open yourself up… you might just come to gain an understanding of it.

you bite your bottom lip, behind it a shadow of a smile. “bedroom.”

his restless hands slide down to hook around your thighs, and not long after, your legs are wrapped around his waist as he navigates your apartment blinded by the mutual refusal of your lips to disconnect. you giggle every time he bumps into something and groans. with his fear of accidentally letting you fall felt through his tight grip, you’re the one who kicks the bedroom shut. the sound couldn’t have been louder than the pounding of your heart reaching your own ears.

jungkook is gentle as he lays you down on the bed, but your lack of inhibitions reign over you. you begin unbuttoning his shirt, unconsciously grinding your heat against his thigh as you do so. it catches him by surprise, but then his strong hands find purchase on your waist, and you know he wants this as much as you do.

the kiss is broken up by a moan when his grip falls to your hips, guiding your wild movements in chasing pleasure with a tenderness and sensuality that transforms you into a feverish mess. another gush of arousal ruins your underwear worse. you kiss him again and eventually you lose count of the buttons— patience runs thin and with adrenaline rushing through your veins, you tear his shirt apart.

he hisses. “baby, shit- what did y-”

“shhh,” you place an index finger over his lips.

he chuckles raspily, shaking his head in disbelief. your giggles join him, equally amused with yourself.

it’s still for a few seconds, but you can hear each other breathe in the dark. you’ve seen him naked but his silhouette alone stirs the fuel spreading throughout your body. he’s perfect. your lips reclaim the place of your finger. your hands caress every inch of his skin, every curve of his flesh they can reach. he doesn’t make an effort to hold his noises and it turns you on more, if that is even possible at this point. his muscles continue to tense under your touches, even worse when you find his nipples to tease and play with. he’s perfect.

“it’s my turn.” he tries to say in the middle of the kiss, but you don’t hear a thing until he’s pulling away breathless and you’re whining in disappointment. “let me return the flavor please? i’ve been going crazy thinking about it. fuck, please.”

you sit up on the bed, pushing his naked chest challengingly. “what? you want to eat me out?“

he swallows, wide scandalized eyes failing to escape your keen observation. “i do.”

you watch him watch you strip off your sweater, “really…?” and then unclasp your bra, allowing its straps to provocatively slide down your shoulders.

“ye-yes, really.”

“then what’s stopping you?”

he whines out your name, interrupting himself with his craving for another kiss as he slips off your bra completely. it gets lost on the floor along with your sweater and you smirk deviously against his lips. “you’re testing me like this, huh? you’re so mean.”

you lie on your bed but you feel like you’re on top of the world. jungkook scatters kisses from your neck down to your chest, occasionally licking and biting as if he can’t help but to taste you. he uncovers another ticklish spot along your ribcage, but you bite your lip to control your giggles. instead, you touch his face to subtly guide him away from it.

he nuzzles his cheek against your palm, eyelids fluttering close as he presses a soft kiss to your wrist.

“may i?”

the shape of his lips lingers there. no one has ever kissed your wrist, nor have you ever imagined the first time to take place in bed.

your thumb strokes his cheek tenderly. the silence that follows there after concerns jungkook. he calls out your name, snapping you out of deep thought.

“may i?” he repeats himself.

he is patiently suspended over the waistband of your skirt. ever the gentleman, you half-smile.

“will you fuck me good after?”

the hand on his face sneaks down to pull up the skirt over your stomach; an even tinier piece of fabric covers the most intimate part of your body.

“whatever you want, baby, i will do it.” he promises.

you can hear the smirk in his voice, but you’re unable to form another response as his tongue laves over the lace, the warmth and wetness saturating through and stimulating your clit— once, slowly, and then over and over again.

you gasp, jolting and squirming in pleasure. he only makes it worse when he hums and you feel the vibration against you. you whine and he squeezes the soft flesh of your inner thighs in an attempt soothe you, keep you still, nuzzling his cheek as he meets your heated gaze.

“relax… is my baby always this sensitive?” he places a chaste kiss over your clit, causing your breath to hitch. “‘cause i’ve barely started.”

“jungkook,” you impatiently whine. “why’d you stop? just do it, please- need you.”

you’d wipe off that stupid smirk on his face if only you weren’t so pent up and you didn’t need his tongue.

“wow… didn’t think you’re the type to beg.” he muses, more so talking to himself. “i like it.”

hell no, you’re not.

but finally, he dives in, greedily pulling aside the flimsy material for a real taste of you. instead of a sharp remark, erotic sounds between a moan and a sob emit from your lips. your toes curl at the surge of mind-numbing ecstasy overwhelming your body. your hands fisting the sheets fly to his hair, frantically tugging like you can’t take it, but you beg and beg and beg him for more.

—

the last time you had sex was more than four months ago. you realized that you liked jungkook, and you simply didn’t want to do it with anybody else. sexual frustration combined with the romantic pining for a man that could potentially ruin your life; your youth has been nothing short of eventful.

has sex always been this good? you can’t remember. you’re drunk on pleasure even in the aftermath; you’re not sure if you’re really here or floating someplace else. as you catch your breath, jungkook soothes your body with gentle kisses and strokes of your skin, whispering sweet nothings. mostly babbling about how beautiful you are. and you feel it— feel beautiful, you mean.

you gradually open your eyes, vision adjusting to the divine view infront of you. jungkook is golden, skin still glistening with sweat under the warm glow of the lampshade. your heart skips a beat when he smiles at you.

“are you good? do you need anything? water?”

“again.”

his eyes widens. “again?“

“round two.” you giggle.

you push yourself up to reach his lips, but the kiss ends too soon for your liking.

“jungkook-” you complain.

“wait!”

you stare in bewilderment as he bends down from the edge of bed, appearing to be reaching for one of the objects discarded on the floor.

“what is it?”

“i found it!”

it’s the flower.

beaming with a hue of pure excitement, he tucks the azalea behind your ear for the second time tonight. pretty, he says it so quietly that you only understand through the movement of his lips.

he looks bewitched by you. in a different setting you’d be smug about it, but at this moment, you don’t understand. you can’t read what’s on his mind. if only you could see yourself through his eyes, even for just a moment, then maybe you’d understand why he’s dancing with fire and folding with his tower of cards.

it would be too silly and embarrassing to start crying now, right?

you swallow the lump in your throat, glassy eyes overshadowed by your boyfriend leaning in to plant a kiss on your forehead. as if that isn’t enough to entirely melt your heart, he intertwines his fingers with yours. your walls come crumbling down. in a haste to forbid your emotions from breaking free, you reach for him and slip your tongue in his mouth for a fervent kiss.

the burning tears that drip down to your temples are lost evidence you will bring to the grave.

—

“you’re not supposed to be awake.” jungkook complains as soon as he opens the door.

you only spare him a glance before returning to your task. instead of being under the sheets, you’re sat on the floor with his button-up shirt from last night laid across your lap. only several steps closer and he realizes that you’re sewing.

he exhales through his mouth in surprise, setting aside the tray of food on the bed before joining you on the floor.

“baby, what are you doing?! it’s fine. you don’t need to fix it.”

“i know, but i want to.” you reply, smiling, eyes still swollen from sleep focused on the needle and thread. “i stepped on one of the buttons so i looked for the two other.”

he’s dumbfounded watching you sew with so much care and precision. oh my god, he is in love with you. he thinks it so loud he gets terrified that he might’ve ended up speaking it out loud too.

“at least eat first!”

“wow, where did you buy ingredients so early?”

“early?” he scratches his head. “it’s lunch time.”

“what?!” your eyes grow twice their size. “jungkook, i’m late for work! what didn’t you wake me up?!”

“you- you we- you were tired!” he stutters defending himself.

he awkwardly catches his shirt when you throw it aside in a rush to get to the bathroom.

“baby, what about your food?!” he yells.

“wait, i forgot my towel-” you pop out from the doorframe, beaming at him breathlessly. “oh, please pack the food in my lunchbox!”

—

VI. SPEAKING TRUTHFULLY, YOU’RE THE ONE FOR ME

“i missed you.”

you giggle. “you look drunk.”

you hold jungkook’s cheeks in the palm of your hands, and he revels in the comforting warmth radiating from them.

he closes his eyes with a toothy grin. “i’m exhausted.”

“then go to sleep!”

“i don’t want to!”

he opens one eye, peeking at you.

“i came here so you won’t have to tire yourself out more going to my place.” you pout. “why do you hate resting?”

“this is me resting,” he says as a matter of fact, leaning down to give your lips a peck. “you are my rest.”

while it may be true that his body is begging for sleep, his mind is willing him to stay awake for as long as he can. he likes that he has nothing to prove here; he can simply be. you’re softly tracing his skin, forming constellations from the moles on his face, and he knows they’re created out of pure wonder and love.

“this one’s so cute!” you gush. “nobody talks about it enough.”

you place an affectionate kiss on the mole at the bridge of his nose.

“maybe because nobody has noticed it but you.”

you roll your eyes. “as if i’m the only one who spends their free time looking at your face.”

“but you’re the one who can view me in the highest quality.” he brings his face a little closer to tease you; noses almost brushing. “no one else can have me this close.”

“that’s right. or else you will never have me this close again.”

you squint your eyes at him as a threat; a frown making a permanent residence on your lips. fuck, when is he not thinking about kissing you?

“aigoo, look at you sulking!” he exclaims with a laugh.

“i’m not!”

“okay, whatever you say.” he replies in a sing-song voice.

it’s silent for a few beats as he engulfs you in his embrace. he feels like he’s being recharged, and with that comes along the overdue acknowledgement of his exhaustion. he meant it when he said that you are his rest.

“you know, i can’t help but to wonder sometimes.”

there is an undertone of hesitance in the way you spoke which is not typical of you. this prompts him to draw back a little, just enough to get a good look of your face.

“wonder about?”

“i’m not trying to put myself down or anything like that, by the way. i’m not expecting you to say the right thing or whatever either. i’m just-”

you pause, teeth nervously biting your lip. his heart aches in an instant when you avoid his eyes.

“i’m just genuinely curious? and saying what’s on my mind.”

“what is it?” he juts out his bottom lip. “you’re scaring me.”

“it’s not a big deal!”

“go on then. i’m listening.”

“i mean, i know i’m a catch, and- and i have a lot to offer, and i’m special in my own way. but you have a lot of…” you blink, trying to find the right term. “options.”

the word alone causes distaste to morph in his facial expression.

“okay, okay, i know! ugh, i don’t know how else to say it. but you have these beautiful and amazing people throwing themselves at you and sometimes i’m flabbergasted that you actively reject them for me.”

“baby, what are you even saying-”

“i’m serious. there are girls i would’ve totally gone for!”

“but they’re not you!”

he tilts your chin, smiling when at last, he recaptures your wide-eyed gaze.

“it’s really as simple as that.”

“but when we weren’t official yet-”

“i liked you from the start, if i didn’t make that obvious enough.”

you scrunch your cute nose; a smile of pure giddiness starting to form on your face. “you did… i knew.”

“i can’t believe you’re thinking about things like that. i only have eyes for you, baby. do you remember the first fight we had, huh? remember how i got drunk and cried?”

he doesn’t particularly like to relive the trauma and consequences of receiving unsolicited… almost naked… photos of an acquaintance while he’s watching a silly youtube video on his phone with his significant other. anything can be fixed in a relationship if both parties exert the effort, but trust, it is almost impossible to rebuild.

she didn’t know he was, is, in a relationship. in general, no one outside his inner circle really expects him to be in a relationship, or at least be in one that is serious or long-term. because, well, where would he find the time and energy for that kind of stuff?

but keeping you as a secret was his way of protecting you, and if you were hurting because of that, you didn’t show it.

oh, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t mad.

you needed some time to clear your head, you said. ignored his texts and phone calls; shooed him away when he begged at your front door. that issue may already been resolved, but he’s still not done proving that he’s solely committed to you.

you’re one of the most important people in his life. he loves you and he tends to get worried that you will never know much.

you gasp, hitting his chest. “when did that happen?!”

“why are you shocked…?” he narrows his eyes. “you didn’t know?”

“how would i know?”

he scratches his head in confusion. he should probably stop talking at this point and not dig his own grave, but his honesty leads him on. “…didn’t taehyungie-hyung send you a video? or did i make that up in my head?”

he immediately regrets it when the sparkle of mischief appears in your eyes.

“he’s still awake, right?”

“actually, he sleeps early nowadays!”

you wiggle out of his embrace, playfully sticking out your tongue at him. “i’ll go get the copy from him right now.”

“it was so long ago. it’s probably deleted by now!”

“wouldn’t hurt to check.”

“baby, no! it’s embarrassing!” he attempts to pull you back, but his hands barely reach you. “let’s just go to sleep, hm? didn’t you come here to put me to sleep?”

“aw, my love…”

he melts when you gingerly stroke his hair too. he will never live it down if his friends witnessed you babying him and him loving it.

“just close your eyes.”

and with your hand obstructing his vision, he sees pitch black and floating spots and flecks.

“i’ll be back in a minute! mwah!”

but despite his sense of sight being taken away, he still feels you spring off the mattress. the weight of your feet against the floor resonates along with the shout of your name as he follows you out of his bedroom.

you squeal in panic when you realize that you’re being chased. “go back to bed!”

“i won’t unless you go back with me!”

this is one of the instances in which jungkook is grateful for his gifts of athletic prowess and long limbs.

with little to no effort, he overtakes you in the race towards taehyung’s bedroom. doe eyes akin to a deer caught in the headlights, he swings the door open.

taehyung’s eyes flicker up from his phone. he’s frankly not surprised about the intrusion, not after hearing the commotion outside.

“need anything?”

“all the videos you have of him drunk!”

“hyung, no! you can’t give it!”

—

VII. THE CHOICE TO STAY

“give it to me.”

the blanket that jungkook carried from the bedroom is snatched away from his hands. it becomes unfurled and thrown over to shield your shivering vessel from the cold. without a word, he crawls on the couch and under the blanket, hugging you from behind as you catch up on your ongoing tv shows.

relief… he’s been looking forward to this all day.

the tension in his muscles, from head to toe, begin to fade away, especially as you take his hand in yours so you can give it a chaste kiss. it’s quick, but long enough for him to feel the softness of your lips. his hug tightens. he remains silent as he inhales, and exhales, slow and calm. he’s not trying to fall asleep as much as trying to shut down his brain. they say the world has stopped but from his point of view, it has erupted into chaos and he has no other choice but to watch it fall apart and to attempt to rebuild it at the same time. god knows he is doing the best he can but it feels like his best will never not be lacking.

jungkook is scared, and he is more scared knowing that everyone else is too. but for the past two years, whether you’re whole or broken, whether he’s climbing or falling— it never made a difference. you’ve always stayed.

he finds comfort in knowing that he has this constant among the ominous unknown.

his little firefly; your light won’t go out even as the world lets out its final sigh.

“my love, why are you sad?”

you flipped to your other side when another commercial break rolled in; now you’re hovering over him, curious eyes studying every inch of his face.

“is my love hurt anywhere?” you coo. “where should i kiss?”

his body shakes with quiet laughter as you pepper his face with kisses, trailing down to his jaw until you reach the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

“or do you want a massage? here? know you had a looong day.”

“really? how’d you know?”

“yeah, ‘cause you haven’t showered. you’re all stinky.”

“oh, am i?” he playfully pinches your waist, which you react to with a drawn out whine. “and yet you’re still cuddling with me.”

“so? do you need my massage therapy services or not?!”

“no. i only need my lover, please.” he pleads with droopy eyelids, emphasizing his request by tangling his limbs with yours.

he can’t hide from you like he hides from himself. you’re much more gentler with his heart than he is; unconciously, he trusts you more with it.

“you have me. what’s wrong?”

your hands anchored on the sofa are swept away as he pulls you closer, your weight crashing down on him entirely. he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your natural scent and the lavender in your body wash.

“eh, it’s just work… everything that could go wrong is going wrong. we’re trying to figure things out, but what can we do really…? there’s nothing. i- this-this whole thing is just so fucking frustrating, baby. i’m sorry.”

“it’s not just work! it’s your reason for living. of course this is frustrating and painful for you. it’s understandable to feel that way.”

he can practically hear you pouting. he is proven right when you lift your head, leaning in to give him a kiss. he smiles against your lips. he loves you so much.

“so please don’t burn yourself out trying to be okay. you have me by your side who can help you carry your burdens.”

it was scary at the beginning, but now it only feels right. it is impossible not to love you with all of his heart and soul; you deserve nothing less and more than what he can give. when you hug him, he hugs you back tighter.

“you’re my reason to live too.”

“i shouldn’t be. what if i die before you?”

“yah, don’t says things like that!” he scolds you faster than he can think, eyebrows knitted together and frown a tad deeper. “you won’t. it won’t happen.”

“i will die eventually.” you grimace.

“please don’t say such things as ‘i want you to move on and meet someone else and fall in love again and remarry.’ i don’t want to hear it!” he rambles so fast that he doesn’t even understand himself, stumbling and lisping. “i will seriously cry!”

“oh, i don’t care for things like that.”

you make yourself more comfortable; your boyfriend as your own personal bed. sleeping on top of him has been a natural occurence these days, not that he minds. you’re so soft and warm. it’s like hugging a stuffed toy to sleep. still, he’s mindful of you falling off the couch again.

“do whatever you like.” your eyes meet as you bestow him with a smile. “i’ll be dead; i won’t even know what happens next.”

“you don’t care? huh…” he huffs over the hypothetical.

the mere consideration of it feels like cheating. he knows that it technically isn’t, but he can’t imagine spending the rest of his life with someone who isn’t you. nevertheless, if he was being honest and it was the other way around, he’d probably do tell you to leave your heart open. but the topic is not the other way around and jungkook’s heart is stubbornly bound to you.

“why am i getting upset?”

“i don’t care because i’m confident.” you say candidly. “you can fall in love with someone else, but no one will ever love you the way that i do.”

ah, and here comes a side of you that he knows and loves. he swears that cupid is in the room and his heart was just hit by another one of his arrows. it feels so good to be loved so fearlessly.

“i know, so why even bother?” he arrives at a conclusion to his defense, but there’s a much better solution. “please never ever leave me so i won’t have to deal with this dilemma.”

he catches you roll your eyes before he comes face-to-face with the back of your head. your cheek rests on top of his chest; he feels it above his beating heart.

“what then? are we supposed to die together?”

he hums in thought. “it’s not a totally bad idea. we live together, so wouldn’t that make sense too?”

“wow, very shakespearean of you.”

“oh, that’s right! see? isn’t this your type of thing? let’s do it!”

“oh my god, you’re so stupid.” you hide your face behind your hand, giggling in disbelief of the sharp turn this conversation took.

jungkook loves making you laugh. for a little while, he forgets everything else. the world outside may be terrifying but you have your own in your shared apartment. you’re his reason to live too. you ignite the life in his veins. you kiss him with an appetite for passion and love and he enters heaven on earth.

“thank you.” you mumble against his lips.

“thank you?”

“for loving me, for living with me…” your voice wavers and his heart drops to his stomach. he can hold back his tears, but never when he sees yours flowing. “even when you’re tired and having a hard time.”

“you make it sound like a chore, but the truth is loving you gives me the strength to work hard everyday. you do know that, right? baby?” he strokes your hair tenderly, hoping that you receive his sincerity. “i should be the one thanking you… i should say it more often. you didn’t give up on loving me even when it was hurting you.”

“it’s all in the past… you were hurting too.” you reply in a faint whisper. “i love you.”

cupid must owe him a tremendous favor to have granted him the purest form of love a human being could have.

he plants a kiss on your forehead, noticing the rise of your shoulders. an endearing thing they occasionally do when you’re happy, shy, or flattered. it’s one of the many things he learned about you since you started living under the same roof.

he’s been learning about himself too. he tried saving you from himself but this fact is now well-established— you are the sun; it only hurts him to push you away because you’re in everything. it’s the little things that will haunt him if lost. when pieced together, they declare that you love him and he loves you.

the words i’m going home have gained more meaning and he’s excited to say them at the end of each day. he talks about his day and you talk about yours. you find out he’s the reason your lotion ran out too fast again and you chase him around the apartment until he promises to buy you the biggest bottle. you play rock-paper-scissors to figure out who will wash the dishes or receive the food from the delivery guy. you watch too many cooking videos on his phone until one of you falls asleep. most of the time it’s you. tonight, it’s still you.

he must confess that up to this day, he admires you when you sleep. you are safe and sound, and he is mended in places he did not know existed.

it’s time to sleep, he also decides.

he cocoons you in the blanket, then provides another layer of warmth which is his body. once settled, he closes his eyes, sighing in contentment. “what’s the use of our giant bed if we keep on sleeping on the couch?”

—

(?). AN ETERNAL RECORD: MY TREASURE, MY LOVE (ARCHIVED)

[DEC 25 ‘17 02:12AM]

“is it rolling?”

“yes, it’s rolling.”

you excitedly look at the film camera from the thick pile of snow on the ground, moving your arms up and down and your legs from side to side. an attempt to create a snow angel.

your giggles and the crackles of the snow are heard through the speaker.

the lens zoom in on your face.

childlike joy in the form of an everlasting smile and snowflakes on your hair.

“am i doing it?!”

“you are!”

“really?”

“really!”

“is it pretty?”

your face comes out of the frame. for a second only the white snow is seen, and then the dark brown of your coat as you skip towards the camera.

“let me watch!”

the camera shakes before it pans to the ground.

rustling of clothes and a shy, panicked voice.

“hold on- i-i’ll just fix the…”

“why?”

“huh, what do i do?” a forced laugh to mask nervousness. “i think it didn’t save-”

[baby-iloveyou]

< Masterlist >

. . . genre S smut SUG suggestive FL fluff A angst . . . reader GN genderneutral F afab M amab

Pentagon

. . . jo jinho

[S][F] Busted. - Jinho has always claimed he doesn’t like oral. But seeing you taste your own cum makes it difficult for him to keep disliking it.

. . . yang hongseok

[S,FL][F] just me and you - Whenever you and your best friend want to have a sleepover, it would always be at your place, since his place was small and would be uncomfortable for two people to stay at. He recently moved however, and to celebrate that, you are staying over at his place for the first time. But you didn’t expect it to be THAT different.

. . . yeo changgu

[FL][GN] A cover model, only for your eyes to see - Your relationship with Changgu has been nothing but lovey dovey so far, and when Changgu asks you to visit him at his Men’s Health photoshoot, you can’t say no. But this would mean you would see him shirtless for the first time, and you didn’t expect the view to affect you that much. [SUG] PART 1 [S] PART 2

. . . kang hyunggu

[S][GN] A private afterparty - Kang Hyunggu was one of the members of your project group, and he’s also one of the most loved people in your year. You’re good friends with him, and after this party you decide to hang out just a bit longer. It just isn’t a very common way of hanging out when you’re friends…

Tomorrow X Together

. . . choi yeonjun

[S,SUG][GN] Carpe Diem - Seize the day, why not have some fun with each other?

[SUG][GN] thought #1- bf!yeonjun is proud of you for passing your course, and thinks you deserve a reward

[SUG, S?][GN] thought #2 - teasing yeonjun is fun until he punishes you for it (or is that part of the fun?)

. . . choi beomgyu

[SUG][GN] Lyric prank - Beomgyu was feeling nostalgic and watched some old YouTube videos, revisited some old trends. One of them was the ‘lyric pranks’, which were a huge thing, and a joke he used to pull quite often on his friends. But since he’s now in a relationship, he knows exactly on who to pull the prank. And he knows exactly which song.

. . . kang taehyun

[S][F] goodnight, you're so tight sleep tight - after a long day, all you just wanted was to snuggle up with your boyfriend in bed and drift to sleep. he wanted something else.

Stray Kids

. . . bang chan

[S][GN] A picture for a picture - Chan is on tour with the rest of the group, and you as his significant other obviously miss him a lot. And he misses you too. He just misses you a bit more today than other days…

. . . lee minho

[S][GN] thought #1 - pathetic minho, and that on christmas…

. . . han jisung

[F][GN] i like the view right now - Late night talks made you discover that you both love stars. And Jisung knows the perfect place in his hometown to go stargazing.

. . . lee felix

[A][GN] Deep End - Sometimes, one fight can break a person entirely. And unfortunately, this was the case in your relationship.

SEVENTEEN

. . . choi seungcheol

[S][GN] thought #1 - texting one of your friends while seungcheol fucks you

. . . boo seungkwan

[SUG, S?][GN] thought #1 - just seungkwan pinning you up against a wall, choking you, and calling you his slutty toy

[S][F] you could be a hand model - sometimes you need a break from studying. and sometimes you suddenly notice that seungkwan has very nice hands. and sometimes you really want those hands to touch you.

A.C.E

. . . group

[F][GN] A.C.E comforting you when you’re afraid of failing your exams

Other groups/idols

. . . BTOB lee minhyuk

[S][GN] Whiskey - You’ve been single for a while and were looking for a casual hookup. And let there be one guy who wants to order whiskey for you.

[thedeluluverse]

Summary: While you have been working for BTS for a little over a year, you and your boyfriend Taehyung have only officially been together for two and a half months. Everything is going well until he starts tagging along to your shoots with your other clients, Stray Kids.  Are his suspicions correct or is he seeing things?

Pairing:  idol!Taehyung x multi-group-photographerGF!Nari a.k.a. “Burning Film” couple

Rating: PG13

Genre: idol!au, mutual pining, angst, fluff, early relationship, jealousy, coworker!au, work crushes

Word Count: 1, 965

Warnings: angst, fluff, feeling insecure, slight teasing, jealousy,

Author's Note: Here is the "Burning Film" couple again! I have created an oc basically for this storyline of Tae named Nari who represents y/n! It isn't necessary to read BF first but it would help you understand what they've bee through already plus I am proud of it so if you do, let me know what you think! Also, we stan SKZ and Felix in this house so no hate, this was just an idea I've had for awhile. Enjoy!! :)

P.S.- yes I am going to go back into Burning Film and replace y/n with Nari but another time. I have work in like 6 hours so going to catch some sleep hopefully XD

The last three months have been much deserved bliss with your new boyfriend Taehyung; not only do you finally have the man of your dreams, but your work has garnered a plethora of attention earning you the title of official photographer for the kpop group Stray Kids as well! Tae is supportive of your dream but is having a hard time adjusting to you being away from him more than usual. Noticing his demeanor change every time you say you’re going to “other work”, you make a decision as you are getting ready one day.

Nari: “BAAABBEEE!!” – you shout from the bathroom as you put the finishing touches on your outfit.

Tae: rushes to you out of breath “Yes jagiya? Is everything alright?”

Nari: giggles and turns towards him “Yes silly, I didn’t scream fire or anything. Still cute though.”

Tae: kisses the top of your head “Fair enough but I just had to make sure, and you’re the cute one baby. Anyway, why did you summon me?”

Nari: blushes slightly Wellllll, I was going to see if you wanted to accompany me to the Stray Kids photoshoot today. I know it’s been rough having less free time together lately. If not I totally get if it’d be boring for you so no pres-“

Tae: interrupts you by picking you up and spinning you around “Oh I’d love to y/n that’s such a great idea!!! I’ve always wished I could see the magic behind the camera so this is perfect! I’ll meet you by the car in 5 minutes, you’re the best!”

You can’t help but chuckle at how puppy-like he could be, but it was endearing that he wanted to understand what you did for a living. In true gentleman fashion, he opens your door when you get to the SKZ location, carries your equipment inside for you, and even brings you a water and an easy snack for while you work. Halfway through the shoot, you tell the guys to take a 10-minute break so you can assess what else you need and so they can grab a snack as well.

Tae has been waiting nearby during the shoot in case you need anything, so he takes this opportunity to use the restroom and refill his water. As he returns he sees you talking with Han, Bang Chan, and Felix, which was fine until he heard Felix exclaim, “Woah Gracie, I love you for that!”. He doesn’t say anything, but he is not thrilled about the fact that he of all people has a special nickname for you. Before today he had no issues with the guy, so what changed? You and Nari will find out soon enough don’t worry!

The shoot comes to an end about a half hour later and Tae can’t help you pack up and get out of there fast enough. I mean, you can’t really blame him since y’all have been there for close to 5 hours but it’s not like he hasn’t had longer shoots. Guess time is more of a drag when you aren’t an active participant. In any case, after picking up a quick bite y’all are home bound! As soon as he puts the car in park you can tell something is different. He uncharacteristically grabs his meal and goes inside before you can even open your door. Chalking it up to him being hangry and missing Yeontan, you give a tired exhale and head inside.

As you kick off your shoes and scan the house, you don’t see Tae anywhere; you peak into the living room and his room because he likes to eat in there sometimes but still no luck. Assuming he must have something to work on after hearing him in his studio, you resign yourself to eating at the kitchen island alone with Yeontan peacefully asleep at your feet.

After eating, you shuffle to his studio door looking for some company, but your knocks are met with silence then a “C’mon Nari, can’t you tell I am busy right now? I’ll be out when I’m done, go watch TV or something aish!”. Tears pricking behind your eyes, you give a quiet “oh, okay sorry I won’t bother you anymore love…” before you walk away and curl up on the couch listening to calming lo-fi music as you try to quiet your brain. You didn’t do anything to make him upset as far as you can recall so unless something gets brought to your attention, you decide to enjoy the rest of your afternoon doodling in your notebook.

The sun has long set, and you can’t remember when you passed out on the couch exactly before you got awoken abruptly by the loud opening of Tae’s studio door and him stomping to take Yeontan on a walk. You are less in a daze when he comes back and are just looking up pleadingly at him only for him to bark out a “what?!” and in return you croak out an unconvincing “nothing” just for him to scoff at you. “Yeah sure, you’ve looked pitiful since we fucking got home. What’s the problem huh? Miss your strays?”.

You blink wide-eyed “what the hell are you talking about? You’re the one who has been in a shitty mood since a random point in the shoot. You wanna tell me what’s going on?” He sits in the big armchair near you, running his hands through his hair then gets up and paces for a good 3 minutes before sitting back down with his elbows on his knees and hands clasped; deeply sighing, he finally reveals the truth.

You sniffle, heart pounding in anticipation trying to look strong even though you were terrified you had blinked wrong or something and were about to be single. He takes a long sip of water then glares up at you, “So you wanna know what’s going on huh? Well, I don’t ‘knaur’ Gracie, what is going on?” Confusion shadows your features as you meet his eyes, “Why did you ask like that and why on earth did you call me Gracie???” He darkly chuckles and says, “Oh, is that an issue?” Nari rolls her eyes and says “Why are you laughing first of all? And it isn’t an issue per say, it just shocked me because you have never called me that once since we’ve met.”

Tae leans back in his chair manspreading trying to affirm his authority and explains, “Well, here goes and don’t you fucking interrupt me. If you somehow have questions, be a patient little cheater and wait until I’m done okay?” You nod in anticipation trying to stay strong and not react to his accusation yet. “Well, whatever name you’re going by, you are right. I haven’t been in the best mood, and it wasn’t a ‘random point’, it was when you had called for a 10-minute break. I had returned from the bathroom and saw you had relocated from our spot to near the Aussies and Han.”

You raise your hand giving him the grandest power complex to which he only tilts his head towards you beckoning you to speak. “You know I’m friends with all of them so why did seeing that turn you into a dick?”. Poking his cheek with his tongue, he clarified, “It didn’t turn me into a dick darling. I just don’t like people trying to take what is mine.” “Nobody was trying to take me you dumbass.” “Then why the shit does Felix have a special nickname for you AND said he loves you??” he slightly yelled with tears in his eyes.

As he hid his face in his hands, taking deep breaths to avoid sobbing, you were trying to process the words that just came out of his mouth. After stuttering and trying to form sentences, you explain the situation as he comes to sit next to you. Turning towards him and covering his hands with yours, you take a deep breath and bring him up to speed; “So the name thing first. Well as you know he and Bang Chan are Australian. So, them trying to say my first name just winds up in a 10-minute loop of aggressive ‘nauring’ you know? So, I decided to tell them my middle name and Bang Chan immediately fell in love with calling me ‘Gracie’ so only the Aussies call me that, for that reason only okay?” He cracks a small smile, “I guess that does make sense….. but why did he say he loved you?” You choke on air, and you ask incredulously, “Ummm when the hell did he say that?!?!”

He glances at the floor sheepish worried he misheard something now and is starting to feel like the biggest asshole to ever exist. “I dunno, I just heard him tell you ‘Woah Gracie, I love you for that!’ and just after the unexplained name thing it sent me spiraling.” You give a small smile this time and go “calm down tiger, I had just shown him a photo I had edited of him and hella fixed the lighting, so he was grateful because it was an important photo of him. That’s it I promise okay? I swear on Tannie!!”

It was his turn to go big eyed because he knew when you swore on a pet, you meant business! “Okay I believe you Nari I really do.” You breath the deepest sigh of relief ever until he interrupts with “But I do have one more question…” “Oh?” you question, “what’s up Tae?”. “Okay now don’t get mad, but are you sure there’s nothing there? I mean it seemed like there was some flirting, at least from where I stood.” “I mean I doubt he was flirting with me; he knows I am with you plus I double doubt you started a trend of fine Korean men finding me attractive.” you chuckle.

Suddenly his countenance darkened again in an instant as he backed away, “fine Korean men????” you gulp, “I mean, I didn’t mean fine fine, I just meant that I am a photographer, so I appreciate aesthetically pleasing things and people.” You say as you start to get off the couch, but he stands and pulls your hair getting you to look him in the eyes “So you aren’t attracted to him AT ALL then??” Tears form once again in your eyes as you explain yourself, yet again…”Okay so he maybe was my first SKZ bias, and you aren’t the first person to point out that he flirts with me a lot. I won’t deny that before we were together it was very nice, but I love you not him okay?”

There’s a long pause until you both sit back down, and he looks like he has seen a ghost, “wait…love me???” You chuckle, “Yes you idiot, lovingly of course!” He has tears in his eyes then asks, “Are you sure??? I mean, it has only been a few months and I know I’m taller, but my voice can’t get near his and I was an ass earlier…” “Hun, I agree you could’ve handled everything earlier better and come to me sooner and been upfront. But it doesn’t mean that you are inherently an ass okay? I don’t care that your voice isn’t just like his, I love your voice and it’s been my peace for years now.”

“Well, good points all around and I just…. I really am sorry that I freaked out so much earlier, I just love you too, so it lit a fire in my soul. I’m sincerely sorry and I’ll do better okay? I can’t lose you…”. You are both sobbing at this point and then while you pull each other into the most intense embrace, you reassure him

“You won’t”.

[neocrush]

— enhypen and you as an idol couple !

genre: fluff + established relationship

pairings: idol!enhypen x fem!idol!reader

★ heeseung

he takes LOTS of pride in you and being your bf

mentions you in almost every vlive

“engenes have you heard (your group)’s recent song? it’s really good~”

likes to sing your parts out of nowhere

like in a middle of a dance jam live and everyone is like silent

he just goes “(insert your part)” out of nowhere

plays your b-sides on voice-only lives

whenever he watches your mvs with the boys, he shuts them up during your parts

“be quiet y/n has something to say”

★ jay

always reassures you that you’re doing well

you jokingly like to introduce yourself as “enhypen’s y/n”

and he does the same - introducing himself as “(your group)’s jay”

one time you accidentally called him “jay unnie” and he’d just go “????”

pls you just got used to calling everyone around you “unnie”

calls you every night before you go to bed to make sure you’re doing well

sends you food late at night if you’re craving anything

spoils you with expensive stuff and gets you two matching stuff that probably cost a kidney

and ofc fans are going to notice lolol

★ jake

hums your songs on vlive

works out with with you (at the extremely cool hybe gym)

you take the best pictures of each other

actually very good at being discreet lol

you guys wouldn’t even try, dispatch just can’t seem to catch you

you ended up announcing on sns it by posting a polaroid of you two on a date

PLS it was so unexpected but fans supported you two sm !!!!

★ sunghoon

has either a polaroid of you two or your photocard on his phone case

clowns you for your iconic lines

calls you “park y/n” just to mess with you or make you shy

has so many of your predebut pics on his phone

shows you off to his family, esp bc yeji (his younger sister) is a fan of yours

“can i get four signed albums”

“sunghoon why do you need that much signed albums”

“one for me, one for yeji, one for my parents, and one for my grandma”

teaches you how to ice skate !! wouldn’t let go of your hand the whole time

watches netflix with you on his phone in enha’s waiting room during award shows

like you’re just laying on his chest on a couch with your full hair and makeup done

★ sunoo

unboxes your albums on vlive, hoping to get your photocard

his youtube watch history is like: “y/n aegyo compilation” “y/n being cute for 15 minutes straight” “y/n stealing our hearts for 20 minutes straight”

memorizes your fanchants

ofc has your lightstick !!!!

won’t let riki outdance him when your songs play during random dance

video calls you until you both fall asleep

won’t let the others touch the damn lightstick 😭

once you started mcing with soobin, he’d ask soobin how you are everytime he runs into him

“but isn’t she your gf”

“yes but i’d still like to know”

★ jungwon

stays up late just to talk to you

“jungwon baby you have to attend inkigayo tomorrow”

“but i want to talk to youuuu 🥺”

LOTS of pet cafe dates

looks at you with stars in his eyes during award shows

has your members’ numbers just so he could ask them if you’re doing well or getting enough rest

“pssst pssst y/n you should cover flicker”

posts photos taken by you on weverse and captions them with “by. 🤍”

★ riki

memorizes each and every one of your choreos

his browser history of full of your fancams 💀

reads “y/n x reader” fanfics when he’s bored just bc he’s curious

your fandom treasures him so much

and engenes treasure you even more

babies !!!!!! you !!!! to !!!! no !!!! end !!!!!

especially if you did a cute concept

oh god he’d MELT at your adorableness

it doesn’t matter if you’re younger or older than him, he just wants the world to know that you’re his baby and his only

[iamsuchi]

Idk why i'm telling you this but it's about @girlpl6net .So she ALWAYSSS acts like her bf is in bts...like when you tell her is your bf in idk txt or straykidz she straight up said no but never gave a valid answere about bts ...She answered a question in which she said she just had dinner with his bf in south korea ...I got in her inbox and said SOOO bts are not in korea...then...your bf is not in bts ....AND SHE DELETED THE POST WERE SHE SAID SHE HAD RAMEN WITH HER BF IN SOUTH KOREA AND DIDNT ASNWERE MY QUESTION ...I SWEAR SHE'S LYING ABOUT HER KOREAN IDOL BF AND NOW I'M QUESTIONING THE WHOLE LOA 😭😭

Ok wow. ⚠️THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG RESPONSE⚠️

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ PLEASE READ ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

First things first: YES I WELCOME ALL AND ANY QUESTIONS, COMMENTS AND/OR CORNERS. BUT PLEASE I ASK YOU GUYS NOT TO MENTION OR BRING UP ANY OTHER LOA BLOGGERS AND THEIR LIVES, ETC. THIS IS NOT A DRAMA BLOG NOR DO I HAVE TIME TO DISCUSS THE BUSINESS OF OTHERS HERE. I DON’T PART TAKE IN GOSSIP‼️‼️‼️ THIS BLOG IS SOLEY FOR THE PURPOSES OF HELPING MYSELF AS WELL AS OTHERS WITH MANIFESTING JOURNEYS. I DO NOT FOLLOW THE ABOVE BLOG MENTION SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE SECNARIO IS ABOUT. SO I WILL NOT BE COMMENTING ON THAT. I WILL NOT BE GETTING INVOLVED WITH DRAMA. I WILL NOT BE SPEAKING ABOUT THE MANIFESTING JOURNEYS OF OTHERS. AS I AM NOT THEM I CAN ONLY GIVE POINTS OF VIEW FROM MY OWN PERSPECTIVE. ‼️‼️ ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

With that being said I’ll only be addressing this anon’s issue about questioning whether the law is real or not. As always I will tell you DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH - DO NOT JUST COME ON TUMBLR AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE LOA IS AND TAKE THE WORD OF OTHER PEOPLE AS FACTS. GO TO THE MAN HIMSELF - NEVILLE GODDARD. You can find his lectures on YouTube (if requested I will make a post with the ones I’ve watched so far so others can hear it straight from the horses mouth), you can google him, you can get his books, you can look up quotes. They’re no excuses as to why you can’t go and see what he says for yourselves. Personally I found out about Neville 2 years ago and just like many people I had no idea what he was talking about my first thought was oh this is just some other religious nut case (because the lectures I watched he had a lot of references to the Bible and I’m not a religious person) but then when I decided to actually listen and pay attention to what he is saying things started to make sense for me. I’ve applied the law and it has personally worked for me, and as God of my reality I can only do what works for me. Using the law I was able to manifest getting a tattoo, I’ve manifested money, my kyphosis (look up if you don’t know what this is but it’s basically hunch back - has drastically improved), I’ve lost weight without exercising because I’m a lazy bitch🤣. So I know for me the LAW WORKS. I can only tell you based on my own personal experience it works. In the lecturers I’ve listened to Neville will tell you “test it”, “go on try it for yourself” you literally have nothing to loose but everything to gain so just try it. The Law of Assumption is basically believing that you have whatever it is that you deserve now even though your senses deny it. All it requires you to do (in my opinion - DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH) is just believe and have faith that whatever it is that you want is here it will show up. I know that for a fact because I have a whole tattoo on my wrist it showed up lol. I made a post about it but I’ll attach a picture so you can see I have my PROOF THAT IT WORKS - it’s not bullshit it works.

IT ALL COMES DOWN TO YOUR BELIEFS - IF YOU THINK THE LOA DOESN’T WORK OR IT JUST A HOAX OR WHATEVER IT WONT WORK. (See my pinned post about beliefs, faith and methods). This will happen because you’ve conditioned your mind to think it won’t work and your mind it that powerful and has no choice but to operate from the thoughts you’ve feed it (again my opinion right here). CHANGE THAT MINDSET- WORK ON YOUR SELF CONCEPT. And if you’re manifesting something and it hasn’t shown up in the 3D yet (KEY WORD HERE BEING YET) it doesn’t mean that you’re not going to get it!

➡️ See my post here for more info on that. For a quick note just look at this quote here:

“Oɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜɪs sᴇᴇᴅ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɪᴍᴀɢ��ɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜᴘʀᴏᴏᴛ ɪᴛ ʙʏ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴀɴxɪᴏᴜs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ɪᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴀᴄᴄᴏᴍᴘʟɪsʜᴇᴅ. Eᴀᴄʜ sᴇᴇᴅ ʜᴀs ɪᴛs ᴏᴡɴ ᴀᴘᴘᴏɪɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ. Sᴏᴍᴇ sᴇᴇᴅs ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ғᴇᴡ ᴅᴀʏs; ᴏᴛʜᴇʀs ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ʟᴏɴɢᴇʀ. Fᴇᴇʟ ᴄᴏɴғɪᴅᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ.” – Nᴇᴠɪʟʟᴇ Gᴏᴅᴅᴀʀᴅ

This is one of my favorite quotes by Neville as it gives me so much hope and confidence within myself that it will come! I normally like to keep what I’m manifesting privately but I’m order to show you have strong my beliefs and faith is in myself as God and the loa, I’ll tell you this. I am currently in the process of manifesting moving to another country, I’m yet to see this materialize in the 3D as yet but thanks to this quote (every now and again I’ll turn to it when I’m feeling down or unmotivated for a little hope) as well as everyday I’d say to myself out loud or in my mind “I am now living in my desired country legally right now” and then I go on with my day because I have faith in myself as god I know that the 3D has to conform - every seed has its appointed time! I say that affirmation especially when I’m not in the feeling of the wishful filled because I refuse to give up. I’ve manifested before and I know I can do it again. They are no big or small desires all desires are equal so I know it’s only a matter of time before my desire is materialized into the 3D.

Final point: I can say all this and more, you can read success stories, you can even hear it From Neville himself but if you personally don’t believe it, it won’t work. As for success stories it’s up to you whether you want to believe it or not. I would say to use success stories as inspiration that the law works. Nothing is impossible. When you start to question and doubt in my opinion it’s like your questioning and doubting yourself and your abilities. Believe in yourself, that whatever it is that you want you can and already have it. As God you are limitless nothing stops you from getting what it is you want unless you decide that you’re going to allow something to stop you from.

DO NOT LET ANOTHER PERSON INFULENCE YOUR BELIEFS LIKE THAT AND CAUSE YOU TO DOUBT THE LOA AND ESPECIALLY YOURSELF LIFE THAT! BECAUSE YOU’RE ALLOWING SOMEONE ELSE’S STORY/PERSONAL EXPERIENCE/ETC TO GET YOU WORKED UP YOU ARE GIVING AWAY YOUR POWER TO EXTERNAL AN SOURCE OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF! THERE IS NO OTHER GOD BUT YOU WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR REALITY, SO YOU SHOULD NOT LET SOMEONE INFLUENCE YOU LIKE THAT AND THIS IS WHY DOING YOUR OWN RESEARCH IS IMPORTANT‼️ DO NOT COME ON TUMBLR AND/OR OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA AND LET NO ONE DICTATE ANYTHING TO YOU‼️‼️

[kalliyen]

Headcanon #2

Summary: You sneak a love note into in their stuff and they find it

Pairing: Enhypen (separately) x Gender Neutral Reader

Warnings: Mentions of food but other than that not much

Genre: A cup of fluff, a tablespoon of fluff, a teaspoon of fluff and a big pool of fluff

Word and Emoji Count: 1,313 (that’s a lot)

Disclaimer: In no way is this work of fiction to condone dating these boys this is merely again, a work of fiction I made up

Xiao-nim’s note: This was proofread my lovelies! Hope you enjoy! 💕

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

꧂Lee Heeseung 🦌꧂

❃ You woke up in the middle of the night right next to Heeseung cuddling you

❃ You tried to go back to sleep but you couldn’t so you decided to slip out of Heeseung’s arms very carefully

❃ When you successfully slipped out of his arms you looked around and saw your pens 🖊 and papers 📝 you were using before you and Heeseung cuddled

❃ You had the brilliant idea of writing him a cute little note

❃ So there you were sitting on your desk and writing multiple cute little notes and one special letter for him for at least an hour

❃ He wakes up at like 7 am with you not being beside him which makes him a bit sad and confused 🤔

❃ You might not be there but he saw a little note on your pillow saying “Good Morning Hee! Sorry I’m sot here I’m at the grocery store buying more food cause you have nothing here,,,,,enjoy these little notes in the meantime! Expect them were you least expect them 😉”

❃ That certainly brought a smile to his face

❃ You might not be here but at least he has something of you

❃ Sighing lovingly, he gets out of bed with a big smile on his face looking forward to more of these sweet little notes you made for him 💕💕💕🥰🥰

꧂ Park Jay/Jongseong 🦅꧂

❃ You were soo bored 😶😶😶😶

❃ And you came up with a brilliant idea of writing cute little notes

❃ Jay was asking what you were doing and you tried to hide the fact that you were making love notes for him

❃ When he’s preoccupied doing something you stick one of the cute notes on the back of his phone and in his bag he uses for work

❃ plz 😫✊ he won’t and can’t stop smiling when he sees it

❃ Jungwon prolly asks him why he’s smiling like an idiot

❃ And lovestruck Jongseong doesn’t even hear his leader

❃ Repays you by spoiling you with kithes and cuddles 🥰

❃ He just loves you sm ok⁉️

꧂ Sim Jake/Jaeyun 🦮꧂

❃ You were scrolling through TikTok that day and found a video that spiked your interest

❃ So you decided to try it on your cute puppy bf

❃ And when he came home that night and saw you doing something he was all up in your face and askin u what u were doing

❃ You don’t tell him and he lets it go

❃ For now 🌝

❃ Guess who had the biggest smile on his face the next day when he sees the outcome of what you were hiding from him~~

❃ Spoils you with hugs and kithes as a thank you pt. 2

꧂ Park Sunghoon🐧 ꧂

❃ You missed him sm

❃ He was out practicing for the whole day and you were here, In his room desperately missing him

❃ You racked your brain thinking of something to do to subside the feeling of missing your man

❃ And when you couldn’t think of anything, you decided to grab your phone and scroll through Pinterest to get some sort of idea

❃ This particular post caught your eye and you decided to try it

❃ At first while you were doing it you felt a little cheesy but hey, you miss your boyfriend and you wanted to do something for him

❃ You’ve been making the cute little anecdotes for him for about an hour and 30 mins when you decide it’s time to put it on his stuff around the house

❃ Sunghoon was in for a shock when he sees a note on the door when he came home from practice that day

❃ He gets ready for bed and tucks himself in bed beside you and gives you a sweet peck on your head and mumbles a small ‘thank you baby’ with the softest smile on his face.

꧂ Kim Sun-oo 🦊꧂

❃ It was your 6 month anniversary with Sunoo and you wanted to do something sweet for him since he always did sweet things for you.

❃ You couldn’t really buy much while being an unemployed teenager

❃ So you came up with a sweet plan for your sweet partner

❃ 6 months of dating might not be a big deal for everyone but for you it was

❃ You jumped to your plan making the cute little notes and put them all around the house making a trail for him to follow when he gets home from the office

❃ He came home that afternoon holding various takeout orders in his arms while calling for you

❃ He put down the bags and was perplexed on why you weren’t answering him

❃ When he saw a note on the table saying “Welcome home sweetie! Follow these trail of notes and see your present at the end waiting for you 😘”

❃ So Sunoo followed said trail of notes and was seemingly surprised at what he saw at the end

❃ Though it wasn’t much he was taken aback and mouth agape

❃ Cause there you were looking all prim and pretty/handsome while sitting on a chair waiting for him in the backyard with a picnic blanket set out and all kinds of food on the blanket

❃ Sunno neared you and tackled you to the grass smothering you in kisses and smooches all over your face

❃ That certainly was a 6 month anniversary you would remember for the rest of your relationship. 🥰💕

꧂ Yang Jungwon 🐈 ꧂

❃ You’ve noticed that you’re normally curious and teasing boyfriend was now quiet and rarely smiled

❃ You asked him what was wrong and he just shrugged and said “nothing much, don’t worry about me Y/N”

❃ Now you definitely knew something was wrong because he didn’t call you Love

❃ You narrowed it down that he was so stressed and constantly practicing to the point he wasn’t eating or taking care of himself anymore

❃ And of course you were very crossed with this, because even he had a hectic idol life he still had to take care of himslef

❃ So when you were left alone in your shared apartment with Jungwon you decide to do something for him

❃ You made a full course meal yourself and made cute little notes saying ‘you can do it!’ and ‘I’m so proud of you Wonie!💕’ and stuff like that

❃ He was literally about to combust when he read those notes while he was eating the food you made for him (which was delicious btw)

❃ ‘How did I manage to be so lucky to snag an amazing and wonderful s/o like them?’ Jungwon thought to himself

❃ Now Jungwon knew, while he was with you he could get through any problem or any situation.

꧂ Nishimura Riki🐆 ꧂

❃ Similar to Jungwon’s case, Riki hasn’t been taking care of himself in exchange for more time to practice.

❃ You noticed he was not smiling his beautiful boxy smile that much anymore and looked quite pale

❃ And of course you were not happy with this

❃ You wanted to scold him when he got home but he looked so tired and immediately collapsed on the bed hugging you

❃ You couldn’t do anything much about it so you just let it slide for now and him have his well deserved rest

❃ You woke up earlier than your Puma-looking boyfriend and decided to give him a big breakfast even if he wasn’t one to eat much

❃ You also made him a Bento Box 🍱 for lunch and stuck a cute little note at the lid

❃ Riki was very thankful to you for doing this for him.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Xiao-nim’s note: Hello Everyone! I hope you readers enjoyed this, it took me a while to finish. Also I might have gotten carried away while writing this that’s why there is so many words 😫🕶🤏 I was in a good mood to write

[wherethehellismysupersuit]

EP- 15 review

*slowly drags myself out of the gutter to pen a review*

Sorry bout that. I’m just sad that this is all gonna end tomorrow. So, uh, i’m not sure how much comedic relief i can give here, but i certainly will try.

We start off with knowing a crucial bit of info; Yurim was the one who told Yijin to portray her in a harsh light. I had an inkling, cause they never really elaborated on that scene in EP-14 and Yijin is the type of person who would cry after stepping on an ant by accident. Heedo, being the superwoman she is, comforts him and helps him get rid of the graffiti on the wall.

And then like till the last 10 minutes, it’s just Baek Yijin being a proud malewife. He makes fun of the reporter for not having a dating life. Switches departments cause he knows he can’t be impartial in sports. Takes heedo on a cliffside date on new years. gets drunk with her and cuddles (maybe the conception of minchae? jkjk i’m a clown). Both of them even lose sleep just to spend time together....sigh. This just makes me feel lonely lmao-

I like the fact that jaekyung likes yijin. Both of them congratulating each other and being proud of their respective daughter/gff was wholesome. But the dinner scene did make me nervous.

Now we focus of Yurim and Heedo. We see them settling down into their separate lives easily, until it’s not. Yurim feels the need to guard herself. Heedo feels the need to grasp onto the bits of Yurim that are growing distant by the day. This situation is further exacerbated by the PRESS (the analyser spits, looking disgusted). We love to pit talented women against women, don’t we. Yurim’s words are taken out of context, whether the translator intentionally twisted them or not idk. Heedo’s backing is mainly of salty fans who feel personally wronged by Yurim and pin all their hope on her. This is sadly the case in today’s world, where we see people who are famous as idols, rather than humans who have  the tendency to fuck up every once in a while.

Heedo refuses to see Yurim before the Madrid match. I firmly believe that it’s because  (in the wise words of a drunk Yijin) she doesn’t want to waver. Seeing her before the match would probably make her feel like she’s battling a friend, and not a competitor.

I was on the edge of my seat the entire time they fenced. Coach Yang was me and i was her. I jumped at each attack, even though i knew the outcome. My allergies acted up when everyone was hugging and crying. (Also Seungwan’s mum calling Heedo her loach baby was vv cute. Jiwoong being a supportive bf and literally  flying to Russia? My man u literally have no life plans except to be yurim’s trophyhusband and it shows lmao)

Heedo seems to be one of the lucky souls that's bagged herself two soulmates. Both can be platonic and romantic. i’m able to imagine a future with Yurim and Heedo as gfs and Yijin their poster boy and vice versa.

I’m sorry, and no hate to the actress, but Adult!Heedo never fails to make my bp shoot up. whY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SAY MYSTERIOUSLY SAD THINGS? LIKE HOW LIFE AND TIME IS FLUID AND IMPERMANENT? I DON”T NEED TO HEAR THAT I’M TRYING TO FIND AN ESCAPE FROM MY WORLD GODDAMNIT-

Anyways, i don’t believe it’s a coincidence that the last diary is missing.

Now we get to the tragic part of the ep. 9/11.

Considered one of the worst disasters the world has ever witnessed, leading to the death and injury of millions, Yijin is immediately called into New York the day before their vacation. (I saw some ppl being hopeful about them laughing with suitcases....absolute clowns y’all are lmao...it’s me. i’m the clown.)

The constant death and grief can really grate on a person. before long Yijin has grown sallow. His skin is yellow, drawn and he rarely smiles unless he’s talking to Heedo. Dark circles are evident and he restarts smoking and taking pills to sleep. Heedo watches each of his broadcasts religiously, but she knows she’s growing distant from him. She’s far away from the grief he’s constantly seeing.

The preview- you know what? i’m not even gonna talk about it. nope. never occurred.

This episode, although honeymooney till the last few secs, had a consistently heavy undertone. So now i’m sad.

PS Kim taeri please sign onto a new drama/movie asap i’ll miss ur face-

signed,

your resident sadanalyser.

[ohnobjyx]

I clicked on that link of xz supporting his friend and it looks like people were using that to say he's gay (not like b/jyx ppl I don't think but ppl who hate him) and then ppl saying no he's straight cause that's what his friend wrote, am I right?

Hi, anon! Sorry it took me soooo long to answer it. For those who have forgotten what anon is talking about, it was one of my reblogs (which I can’t seem to find rn), that included this link to XZ supporting a friend of his who had come out of the closet. 

Short answer: your interpretation of the article wasn’t that wrong, but I’m not sure if you’ve got the correct sequence of the story, so here it is my answer.

Disclaimer: fake fake fake, ofc.

For those who don’t know Chinese, let me explain a bit first. The OP from the link is asking: is XZ straight?

The most liked answer is talking about a reply gg left on a friend’s post in 2011, back when he was still a university student (but the screenshot is from after gg had debuted, so his username had the X-9 part).

A friend of gg had posted about his new bf, effectively coming out with it.Gg appeared in the comments section:

Gg: Aiyo!! please explain

Friend: buf, seeing you appearing so suddenly, I feel a death aura from you~

Gg: Haha... you didn’t tell me even though you got a partner, congratulations! hehe

Friend: Maybe I can bring him next time we hang out and introduce him to you, haha, thank cute xiao-jie’s congratulations~ I just didn’t dare to tell you~

Gg: You didn’t dare to tell me... why? haha

Friend: (blurred out text) ... straight, you aren’t gay~

Gg: (embarrased/sad face 囧).... aren’t we friends.... if we are, I’d congratulate you...

The text that accompanies the photo says: because XZ is straight, his gay friend didn’t dare to come out of the closet to him, and xz answered: we’re friends, I’d congratulate you.

There are more screenshots accompanying that one:

A classmate saying in 2013: more than 180 cm tall, knows how to wear fashionably, sings beautifully, can take good photos, no saving for me. What’s more important, he’s not gay

A reply to a post asking whether gg’d been outed: what! his direct classmate (gay) vouched for him and told me himself that he was straight!

It also includes a photoshopped post of gg using “gay slang”, that was later proved by fans that it was photoshop and that gg never posted those words.

So the photo and the other rumours were being spread by haters and antis, saying that gg was gay in a not-good way. Please remember that there is a difference between believing that someone must be lgbt, and a whole another thing to say that someone has an “abnormal sexual orientation”. The tone is important!

This is very complicated in an upsetting way. The “proof” attached by this user replying to whether gg is gay was trying to prove that gg is not gay, just supportive of lgbt, because they believe that being gay is bad. So, anon, you’ve encountered well-meaning fans trying to defend their idol from rumours they believe will damage their image (there’s no need to say that they’re probably solo fans, I think).

In summary:

A user asked “is XZ gay?”

The most liked reply (673 likes) says that he must be straight since his gay friends said he is. This user also clears up some rumours about gg using lgbt slang in a public post, which is definitely false.

I think this reply was probably written by a xfx (gg’s solo fans), though the post was quite homophobic. They probably had well-meaning intentions, like “I’m defending his name and his reputation!” but whether it was actually beneficial is very debatable.

Once again, I don’t think it would be good for them if bjyx started to say “they’re gay” publicly (the use of their names is prohibited in the supertopic for a reason!) but to deny it so vehemently isn’t exactly helpful for them in the long run, imo. This doesn’t apply in this case, obviously, because the writer felt that saying that gg was gay is an offense.

A little bonus (pure speculation!):

Please notice that I’ve highlighted that there was a part of the friend’s reply that was blurred out, precisely in the part in which the friend says “you seemed straight, you aren’t gay” part.

This conversation is very old and gg’s posts aren’t visible if they’re older than 6 months, so we can only rely on screenshots for these things. The name of his friend is blurred out for obvious reasons, but for some reason, a part of his friend reply is also blurred out.

Why is it blurred out? It may be completely unconsequential and unimportant, just a editing mistake, but I can’t help but think that if a part of the text was blurred out by solo fans, there might be something they don’t want others to see. What does it say? Maybe we’ll never find out. 

Bonus nº2:

Btw, gg has a very brave friend, who dared to come out when the things weren’t looking so good for those who dared to be different. Cheering for gg’s friend from here!

Bonus nº3:

A lot of the replies were affirming that he must be straight, since he had a girlfriend before, while he was studying at the university. And I’m like.... bisexuality? Discovering your sexuality after having a romantic partner? There are a couple options out there, but they are just... refusing to see them? I must admit that this is quite confusing, especially this phrase from one of the replies: “he had a girlfriend, he can’t be bisexual!”

Bonus nº4:

For those who might be disheartened by that xfx (and I feel very tired just by reading so much homophobia, since most of the replies had a very harsh tone), here I have the last sentence of a reply by another solo fan (at least they didn’t give the vibe of being a bxg, and they spent a long post talking about gg’s qualities), even though they said at first “he must be straight...”:

“... If there’s any possibility of you not being straight, I want you to not be afraid of letting us fans down, you have to chase bravely for your own happiness! I’ll be guarding you from here! As we agreed, protecting each other, feeling proud for each other!”

Another reply I liked:

“What age is it, is important whether he’s gay? In Taiwan same sex marriage has even been legalized, must our thinking remain so stubborn and traditional? Don’t fans like him because he’s a role model, a talented person? As long as he remains in this industry and keeps his heart, isn’t it enough? And I’d like to add another thing, must love be limited by gender? Whether he’s straight isn’t important, for me, as long as there are aspects I like of him, I’ll enjoy him”

And this:

Whether he is or not doesn’t matter, as long as he’s happy

[yeongwvnhi]

Being in a Poly-Relationship with them

—

Pairing - (Non-Idol) Oneus x genderneutral reader

Genre - fluff, crack (kinda?), suggestive

Warnings - polygamous relationship....?

Taglist - @twancingyunhoe

Word count - idk since it's bulletpoints, but maybe between 1 to 1.5k?

》><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><《

I feel like it would be a very nice thing like,, they're all very caring and so wholesome

I'm not too sure if the relationship goes like everyone dates everyone or just everyone dates you,, I think that's up to your own view

So I'll just divide it by these two criteria

Everyone dates everyone:

So I think they would've been dating before you came into the picture

Let's say you met one of them in any way you can think of which isn't awkward I guess? Like met at a bookstore or something and looking for a book but it's on a shelf you can't reach

From there on it just goes like the boys do their thing and you just kinda befriend the guy you met for a while (aka texting yano?)

So when he decides to introduce you to his boyfriends

You got along well with each and every one of them

Which is great!

Because we wouldn't want any fights

Anyways,, you get along well with everyone and casually get their numbers/social media, whatever does the trick

And after some time, when you're all comfortable around each other and built trust, they drop the bomb on you

Of course you don't judge them because judging others for a different lifestyle is a dick move

They're pleasantly surprised when you don't mind them dating each other or find it weird

It just makes them like you even more!

I believe that at first it would take you a while to get used to them now openly showing affection towards each other in your presence

But you gradually get used to it and think it's so adorable just seeing them being so open and living their best lives

Depending on your age I think you'd be a tad bit closer to the hyung line or the maknae line, but that's not necessarily the case of course

I'm pretty sure either Youngjo or Dongju would bring it up to the others if they also start to like you more than just a friend and to offer you to join their polygroup

Because these two just have the biggest hearts pls 😭😭😭

So if the others also like you

I'm pretty sure Seoho would be the one to bring it up to you

Why? Because he's the most smart witted one😹 he just knows what to say

So you realize you also like them all romantically, you decide to give it a shot

Because practice over theory, right?

At first it doesn't feel very different to you since they decide to take it slow and not overwhelm you

But I'm pretty sure that won't stop the oldest and the youngest from always showing you some type of affection

For Youngjo it could be subtle touches on the arms, back or shoulders

Or always looking out for you like,, "Did you eat?" Or "How was your day?" Because he's just so caring

Dongju would probably give you random hugs because he babie

He might also be the first one to check up on you if he notices you're behaving differently than usual

The others would not be as physical just yet, especially Geonhak and Seoho because they're not much of a fan of physical contact in the first place

Hwanwoong could be the next one to slowly initiate more stuff with you (after Youngjo & Dongju) because he's always excited and full of energy

So he needs to let it out somehow and he does it while just fooling around with you,, for example just jumping around while holding onto your hands

Or joining you on the couch and sitting close to you or just lay in your lap

So let's say you've been dating for like a few months now

You're comfortable around them all

You get 6 good night and 6 good morning kisses every day

I think you'd also be staying over at their place a lot and for longer periods of time

So you have a lot of your stuff there

And I imagine that you're taking turns in sharing the bed with everyone & one day you'll sleep alone

For fairness reasons

Of course they also don't mind if you would want to sleep alone for longer

Imagine having a movie night with the guys

And you're sitting between Woong and Dongju

Dongju would just be chill and cuddle you

But Woong is a little shit

He might probably do something to rile you up

When you tell him to cut it out he'll just look at you all smug

"What do you mean? I'm not doing anything"

So you scoff and try to ignore him, instead scooting closer to Dongju

This could go the same way if you'd be sitting between Youngjo and Seoho

Or Keonhee and Geonhak

I'll leave it up to your imagination to who's doing what 😗

So everyday situations!

Before y'all go about your day (aka work or other stuff) I think you'd all have a nice breakfast even though it might be short

Then you'd get your smooches~

And whoever has the most time to spare would take you to work/uni (whatever it is ur doing)

Then he'd gib u more kithes 🥺

So throughout the day you'd probably receive the occasional messages in your groupchat with the guys

Maybe one, a few or all of them are gonna pick you up after work/etc

Sadly no smooches just yet since you're all outside

But at home you'll give them all their deserved kithes

And about days off/weekends

It would be all so chill

Whoever wakes up first does their morning routine and then starts preparing breakfast or lunch depending on the time 😗

Better always be on guard because you could walk in on someone making out ANY time 😳

This concludes the 1st part😭👍🏻

Everyone just dates you:

Honestly? Idk where to start shbdhg

It could probably start out with you already dating one of the guys

And your boyfie perfectly well knows that his 5 friends very much want you too

And who are you to lie? You think they're all just AMAZING

Amazingly hot and amazingly wholesome

So assuming your original bf doesn't mind sharing at all

And the others don't mind either

You all go to have a talk and decide that they'll date you

But not each other because they don't like each other like that

Tho you wouldn't mind if they would do

Anyways,,

It's a little similar to the one thing above

✨6 good morning and 6 good night kisses✨

Prepare for very clingy boyfriends

Even tho Seoho and Geonhak aren't too big on skinship... they will drop everything just to have you in their arms

Or you hugging them

You might want to try and give everyone the same amount of love or else you gotta deal with a pouty big babie

Honestly they all just want to love you in any possible way

I will not explain further,, that is all up to your imagination 🍆

Brace yourself because I feel like Woong, Keonhee and Youngjo are always tryna make out ngl

Whereas Seoho, Geonhak and Dongju are probably more of cuddlers or soft kisses kinda guys

But don't misunderstand... everyone would love to have a good ol makeout session w u 😳

Idk where im going with this anymore 😭👍🏻

But basically the everyday situations and free days situations from the 1st scenario would be v similar in this one too

I wrote a lot up there, but yano... there's always space for more ✨imagination✨

[nanasarea]

Park Jisung as your idol bf

Genre: fluff

Pairing: jisung x idol!reader

Requested

Word count:1757 (dear lord, the longest in the idol bf series damn...) 

a/n: this is more of a jisung as your bf in general, not so much the idol aspect sorry. Also yes, i ended up writing about jisung having a baby, sue me, I’m in jisung hours now! also do i even need to say it’s not proofread at this point?

Haechan /  Yuta / Mark / Jeno / Jaemin / Chenle / Renjun / Jaehyun

you were in the same dance class when you were younger

so you were friends way before either of your debuts

like when you knew each other when he was an smrookie

and of course, both of you being talented dancers

you were both training under companies at a rather young age

and it isn’t easy being a trainee regardless of your age

but because you were both still in school

and so young

you knew you should stick together

let’s say you had chemistry homework

but you also had vocal lessons

i’m not saying he would help you

because he wouldn’t

but he would be there to motivate you 

and study his own school work 

so you weren’t alone

it’s safe to say you were each other’s motivation when it came to school

he would also insist on his mom picking you up from school and driving you to the company when your mom couldn’t

same would go reversed

not that either of your moms minded

they found it adorable

and they shipped you both anyway so

that means him and his family coming over for dinner 

and you and yours going to theirs for dinner

and your moms would document all of your childhood memories

they would bond over it

since you didn’t have time to make any friends in school, 

you both valued your friendship a lot

he ended up debuting before you

and you teased him a lot

until he “taught” you how to ride a hoverboard

and you ended up falling in the first 4 seconds

then he would tease you

and you’d now understand how hard his dances really were

you met most of his members when they were smrookies

but you didn’t know renjun and chenle that well

so whenever you could, 

you would hang out with each other

and become very close

which is why they were all so supportive when you ran into their dorms and yelled that you were debuting 

you end up having a little celebration

when you actually did debut, 

they were so hyped

especially jisung

he streamed your mv so many times

he knew every detail of every scene in the mv

which was adorable

the fans knew you were childhood friends so they absolutely loved your interactions

which meant your company/companies being like 

WE COULD MAKE MONEY FROM THAT

so they make sure you have a collab stage 

like really early in your debut

and it was kinda awkward

but because you knew each other beforehand

you felt completely fine

at this point, your moms were betting on when you’d start dating

to which you would both just blush and tell them to stop

you end up going on so many variety shows together

mainly dance specials

and everyone finds you too adorable

like everyone ships it

but they’re kinda lowkey about it because they don’t want to make you uncomfortable 

not the case of his members tho

or yours

you can’t tell me jaemin’s hiatus wasn’t just him laying in bed, resting and planning your wedding

you can’t

taeyong ends up asking him why he hasn’t asked you out yet

he just blushes

it wasn’t until you were both a bit older

and you were at an award ceremony

where everyone was complimenting you

like your dress, makeup, hair, etc

that he realized he liked you

seeing you like that and realizing he needs to stop looking at you as his little childhood friend

and start looking at you as an adult

or somewhat of an adult

he can never look at you as an adult

because he would always have the image of you

with 6 empty chocolate milks around you

and a gummy worm hanging from your mouth

as you tried your best to color the coloring book correctly

but hey, you were always going to have the imagine of him

hanging from monkey bars

after he finished his 5th scoop of ice cream 

and laughing because he overheard someone say a fart joke

ANYWAY

he starts seeing you as an adult

kinda

and he gets slightly jealous when everyone compliments you

so after that, he goes to taeyong and jaehyun

and asks for dating advice

jaehyun just yells 

“wooooo! you should know my usual boba order by now, right, lee?”

These fuckers bet on how long it would take for jisung to realize his feelings 

and jaehyun would regrets only asking for a free boba when he won

but he’s way too happy about winning to care

it ends with half of 127 and half of dreamies giving advice, 

the other halves teasing

and wayv cooing on the phone as they were in china at the time

it takes him like 5 months till he confesses

he’s a nervous baby let him be

and when he does get the courage, 

he takes you to an amusement park

you don’t go on any of the rides

because he’s scared

but you do play the games and eat food

you even watch the fireworks

which is when he finally holds your hand for the first time

you did a lot of skinship before

like when you were friends

but it wasn’t like this 

it was cute

he was so nervous

your palms were both sweaty from nervousness

but neither of you cared

you were just happy to enjoy the moment

 that got cheesy

he even walked you to your dorm 

like to right in front of your door

which is when he hesitantly gave you a kiss on the cheek 

but you wanted a real kiss so you gave him a proper kiss

and he ended up almost tripping on his way to the elevator

where he smiled to himself

and tried to calm himself down

so the members wouldn’t see him like this

but they did

they teased him

and just yelled with him

“our baby had his first kiss!” -jaemin

“life is going way too fast! weren’t you like 3 years old yesterday?!”- jeno

“how come he’s 2 years younger and already getting more action than me?!” -renjun

the others find out 

and tease him

mostly they just congratulate him tho

“wooo! our baby is becoming a man!” -taeyong

“doyoung, hold me, i’m emotional!” -johnny 

“when’s the wedding?” -taeil

“wedding? i always cry at weddings...” -jungwoo

“no weddings! yet!” -kun

“yeah! he’s not getting married before me!” -jaehyun

they might have gone a bit overboard

but can you blame them 

it’s their baby we’re talking abt

they still see him as the little toddler from when he was on mickey mouse club

also you end up not telling your parents right away

and they keep match making

so you end up being like

“Mom, we’re already dating, you can stop”

cue both of your moms get excited

like they’re already talking about being the best grandmas

and having the cutest grandchildren

even tho you’ve only been together for 2 months

something tells me he’d be the type to want to have matching everything

phone cases

(probably anna and kristoff ones)

then profile pictures

jewelry

clothing

anything and everything

he’d find it so cute

speaking of matching profile pics

the fans would realize what was going on 

when you would match your pfps

so your company/companies were like

yes, they’re dating, no one is surprised...anyway 127 comeback 

your dating announcement is like super chill

mainly because everyone was waiting for it 

also i feel like he’d always be playing with your hair 

and fixing it

like all the time

a single hair out of place?

we can’t have that!

his hands are in your hair already

would text you for advice while filming chenji’s this and that

and would always make something for you too

“chenle’s turned out more aesthetic but mine is made with love, so mine is better my default.” 

also it wouldn’t matter if you’re older than him, the same age, younger than him

doesn’t matter

would want to hear you call him oppa

but immediately get shy after

also he’s an aquarius

so if you end up getting really random texts during the day

like during your schedules

don’t be surprised

like he’s already maknae on top

so he will rebel to like some of the things you say

“jisung! we need to get back to filming in 3 minutes!”

“but weeee!” -jisung going down the slide for the 5th time 

cries when you joke about leaving him there

speaking of crying, 

we all know he’s emotional

and cries easily

so he just runs to you whenever he wants to cry

and just placed his head on your shoulder

to hide his facial expression

but it’s okay

you’ve already seen everything from the random snaps you get every day

he might not know how to comfort you at first

but he will learn

and he’s pretty mature for his age 

so he would take comforting you very seriously

he’s a really good listener 

so he would love to just hear you vent to him

it would kinda boost his ego a bit too

like he’s the one who you’re venting to

yknow what i mean?

but also he protects you very well

you get scared of a spider 

he goes all manly mode 

and gets rid of it for you

doesn’t like to admit it, 

but he thinks about you a lot

and your future

like once you two grow out of your idol lives 

and into a more adult life

where you get married

and have kids

kids who tease their uncles (aka nct members)

because THE maknae on top was their teacher after all

speaking of weddings

his older brother got married

and obviously you were his date

and everyone kept looking at you two

asking when it was your turn

your mom said “hopefully soon”

“mom, we don’t have time, we have busy schedules”

“but one day...”

time jump to when the news breaks about your engagement 

and everyone is crying

they watched you both grow up and now you’re getting married??

what???

the announcement was everywhere

also you don’t announce anything about a child

one day, you just both post a picture of your daughter

with a caption like

“she’s so cute, i knew my genes were good.”

or something like that

and everyone goes wild

nation’s babies having a baby?

legend says chenle’s screaming caused 2 earthquakes that day

to sum it up: nation’s babies turned nation’s it couple because jisung is the best boyfriend you could ever have asked for 

.....i might have gone way more invested than i thought i was going to. Do i regret it tho? hell no. Am i emotional now because I pictured adult Jisung with a baby? hell yes.

tag list: @soleilchannie​

[luckysevenwrites]

Make This Work

You and Yoongi have broken up and even though you two are no longer together you can’t help but still have feelings for one another. The thing is though is love enough or are you two just not meant to be?

This is just the first part I will be posting the second half within the next few weeks!

You watched as Yoongi stood with the rest of his members listening to them talk. He held his glass of champagne in his hand, other hand in his pants pocket. Every once in a while, he would nod his head at something one of the members said. He looked good and you were glad. The last time you had seen him he had dark circles under his eyes and was living off ramen. Now, he looked healthy and you were glad to see that he was smiling. It was not his beautiful gummy smile but a soft upturn of his lips.

           “Do you want me to go and spill my drink on him,” your best friend questions as she comes to stand next to you and glares at Yoongi.

           You figured if she could have figured out how to make lasers shoot out of her eyes or how to kill a person with one look Yoongi would be on the receiving end.

           “I’m good, thanks for the offer though,” you tell as you turn away from Yoongi and focus on your friend.

           “I don’t know how you can be so calm. You are a much bigger person than I am. If my ex was in the same room as me looking like nothing was wrong, I would lose my mind.”

           Maybe she was right maybe, you should be mad at Yoongi and want to spill your drink on him. OR to go over there and make a scene by screaming at him and calling him every horrible name you can think of. He was the one who broke up with you, not the other way around. Which meant you had every right to be angry at him. But, try as you might you couldn’t bring yourself to hate Yoongi. When he had ended things with you it hurt of course, you loved him and wanted to be with him. It still hurt that part you weren’t going to lie about. The thing was though you didn’t want him to be unhappy and if you made him unhappy then he shouldn’t stay with you. Just because he made you happy and you loved him didn’t mean he had to feel the same way.

           You wished that he did that he was crazy in love with you and the idea of not being with you drove him crazy but, that wasn’t the case and you weren’t going to make him stay with you. You loved him and wanted him to be happy, so you let him go. Even though it hurt, and you missed him all the time, you still let him go and you did not have any ill will towards him. Your friends of course thought you were crazy for not wanting to kill him or for not curling up into a ball and refusing to leave your bed. That wasn’t you though instead you kept it all inside and went on living.

           “He’s looking at you,” Kaylee looks over your shoulder and gives her best glare yet.

           “Kaylee it’s fine. We ended on good terms just leave it at that.”

           “Say’s you, you say your fine but I’m your best friend and I know when you’re hurting. Even though you are going around acting fine and living your life. I know that you still love him and not being with him hurts you.”

           “You’re right it does hurt but it’s because I love him and want the best for him that I don’t hate him. And I would really like it if you stopped trying to kill him with your death glare.”

           “Fine,” Kaylee huffs, “but I hate him and I’m going to hate him enough for the two of us.”

           “If that is what will make you happy go for it,” You tell her before downing the last of you drink.

           “Be back I need a refill.”

           You don’t wait for her to reply and start to weave your way through the crowd to the bar. You push your way through people and soon find yourself pushed between Johnny and Taeyong. The two smile down at you and move to give you some room.

           “Y/n,” Johnny smiles, “we were wondering if you would be here. Which group are you working with this time?”

           Johnny questions, you had been the photographer for the last album and loved working with the group. You had started off small but now were one of the most sought-after photographers when it came to doing photo shoots or concert shots of kpop idols. It was how you and Yoongi had first met. You did one of his very first photoshoots. It was a new experience for the both of you and you ended up bonding over both being new to the business.

           “I’ve been working with Ateez. They are a fun group. You better watch out Johnny they might be more photogenic then you are,” you tease.

           “Impossible, no one is as photogenic as me, tell her Taeyong,” Johnny demands and the two of you just laugh at him.

           Your drink is placed in front of you and you quickly reach out for it and take a sip. You hear Johnny being called and before he leaves he gives your arm a squeeze leaving you and Taeyong along. He studies you for a few moments and you start to squirm. He continues to watch you and you bug your eyes out at him.

           “What!” you exclaim.

           “Just wondering how you’re doing,” Taeyong shrugs.

           “I’m fine I really wish everyone would stop asking me how I’m doing,” you grumble and take another drink. You should slow down with the way you’re downing drinks you’re going to be drunk in no time.

           “Y/n I like to think that after the many times that we’ve worked together we’ve become friends and that means that I’m allowed to be worried about you,” Taeyong gives you a look that says you need to just accept that he is going to be concerned about you and there is nothing you can do about it.

           “Well, I’m fine.”

           “Alright good. Just so you know I get it,” you looked over at Taeyong questioning what he meant. He got what?

           “I get how annoying it can be with everyone asking if you’re okay. I get what it’s like to break up with someone and to still love them and not hate them. To want them to be happy even if they aren’t with you. And I get hurting but also being fine at the same time.”

           You were not expecting that out of Taeyong. For as long as you knew him you didn’t even know that he was in a relationship with someone or that, that someone had broken up with him. Which in your mind was crazy because why would you break up with Taeyong he was one of the best people you knew and anyone who was dating him would be lucky. You also didn’t expect for him to understand what it was like to love someone and still be hurt by them.

           “I don’t know what to say,” you answer honestly.

           “You don’t have to say anything. Just know that I get it. Yoongi’s not a bad guy and just because you two didn’t work out doesn’t mean you have to now hate him. It’s okay to still care about him,” Taeyong finishes the last of his drink, then gives you a small smile, “If I was a betting man, I would bet that Yoongi still loves you too. It just might be that love isn’t enough or that you two need to grow into who you are more before you can be together.”

           With that Taeyong leaves you with your drink and his words. You ponder over what Taeyong has said. Could it be that love isn’t enough to make a relationship work or could it be that the two of you need to grow more and find out who you are as individuals before you can be an us.  Either way Taeyong’s words make you feel better and not like you’re a fool for still loving Yoongi.

           You wonder through the room looking for your y/bf/n and hoping that she’s not hiding in the shadows plotting revenge on Yoongi. You find her chatting with a group of other make up artist and join them. You enjoy talking with them and laugh about some experiences you shared together. Y/bf/n soon tells you that she is taking off, she never was a night owl and you walk her to her car then rejoin the party with the promise of calling her tomorrow to get together.

           It isn’t until later in the night when the event is dying down that you are approached by Yoongi. You were talking with a member from a soon to be rookie group and were excited that you would be getting to work with them from the start of their career. It is while talking to them that you notice the rookie’s eyes going wide and he looks at the person behind you. When you turn around you see Yoongi standing close behind you, he’s shifting side to side and you remember that he probably think you hate him and is nervous to talk to you.

           “Hi Yoongi,” you smile at him hoping he understand that things are good, “how has your evening been?”

           “Good Y/n, I was wondering if I could steal you away for a few minutes.”

           “Sure, excuse me,” you turn to the rookie then back to Yoongi and follow him out of the event room and to the balcony. Once outside you close your eyes take a deep breathe, enjoying the cool, crisp, air. When you open your eyes and turn to face Yoongi you almost jump. He’s watching you with those soft eyes that he used to give you all the time when you did something, he thought was cute.

           “What?” You question.

           “Nothing just forgot how cute you can be sometimes,” Yoongi smiles.

           “Right, anyway what did you want to talk about?”

           “I just wanted to see how you were doing. I know that we both agreed on the breakup but…I just…I just…” Yoongi struggles to find the words that he wants to say. He doesn’t know how to tell you everything that he is feeling. He sometimes doesn’t even know what he is feeling.

           “I just wanted to make sure that you were okay and know that I didn’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want you to hate me. Because I don’t hate you, not even close and it would kill me to know that you hate me and that you’re hurting and it’s all because of me.”

           Yoongi continues to ramble on and you know that you should stop him but this is the most that you have ever heard him speak about his feelings that your in shock and just let him keep going. It isn’t until he starts to repeat himself that you finally stop him.

           “Yoongi I don’t hate you,” you blurt causing him to stop his ranting, “I don’t think I could ever hate you. Am I hurting yes, because I care about you but I’m okay and I don’t hate you.”

           It’s like the weight of the world is lifted off of Yoongi’s shoulders. He let’s out a deep breathe and his whole body relaxes. He moves towards you and before you have time to register what’s happening you’re in his arms and he’s pulling you tight into him.

           “Thank god you don’t hate me,” He whispers, you wrap your arms around him and squeeze him tight as well.

           “You don’t hate me either do you?”

           “No, I’ll never hate you,” Yoongi firmly states. For a few moments, the two of you just hold tightly onto one another. Yoongi is the one who breaks the hold first, he pulls back from you just enough so you can see his face.

           “Why didn’t we work out?” The hurt in his eyes makes your heart clench. You wish you had the answer, wish you knew how to make this all better.

           “I don’t know Yoongs. I wish I had the answers, but I don’t,” You whisper.

           “I loved you, I still love you. You need to know that it wasn’t that I didn’t love you,” Yoongi runs his thumb over the apple of your cheek. His eyes tracking the movement of this thumb before he looks into your eyes.

           “I loved you too. Still do. But a friend of mine said that sometimes love isn’t enough to make a relationship work.”

           Yoongi’s grip on you tightens for a moment, his jaw tightens, and you think that he’s going to walk away from you. That you said the wrong thing and made him upset. Your body tightens in his hold waiting for him to walk away from you. He doesn’t, instead his grip loosens, and he nods his head in agreement.

           “Relationships are more than just love. Do you think that means that we are just never going to work?”

           “I don’t know I was also told that sometimes you have to grow as your own person before you can start a relationship. Maybe we need to figure out who we are before we can make us work.”

           “I can agree with that. But, where does that leave us?”

           It was a good question. Where does that leave the two of you. Are you the couple that loves each other but just isn’t ever going to work? Or are you that couple that needs to be apart and find themselves, and then can finally come back together and be stronger than they were before. You wanted to be the couple that would make it. But, you just weren’t sure if that was who you two were.

           “I don’t know. What should we do?” Yoongi sighs and reaches down for your hands and entwines your fingers together. He brings them up between the two of you and kisses your hand.

           “As much as it kills me to stay this, I think we need to stay broken up. We should take time to figure out who we are and see if a relationship with one another is still something that we want. If we want this, we’ll find a way to make it work and what we had wasn’t working. Neither of us were happy.”

           “Okay,” you agree even though you don’t like it, “how are we going to do this. Check in ever week with status updates.

           “No,” Yoongi’s lips twitch and you smile back at him. “We need to actually stay away from one another and if one or the other realizes that they want to get back together or thinks that we won’t ever work we have to be honest and tell each other.”

           “What you’re saying is that we will both go on living our lives and if it happens, it happens and if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.”

           “Yeah I guess that’s what I’m saying,” Yoongi gives a humorless laugh.

           “This sucks.”

           “It does,” Yoongi agrees.

           “Yoongi,” you both turn towards Jungkook who when he sees the two of you stops in his tracks, “sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

           “It’s fine Jungkook,” you assure him as you gently pull away from Yoongi, “take care of yourself Yoongi.”

           “You too y/n.”

           With that you walk away from Yoongi not knowing what the future holds for the two of you. Before you can go inside and possibly never see him again, you turn around and call out to him. Yoongi turns completely towards you, while Jungkook gives you a side glance but tries to make it looks like he’s not paying attention to you.

           “I want to you know that no matter how this ends I don’t regret any of it and I’ll always love you.”

           Yoongi moves towards you quickly, you heard Jungkook call out to him but are only focused on Yoongi. Who waste no time in pulling to up against him again and attaching his lips to yours. You melt into him and wrap your arms around his neck. The two of you pour everything into the kiss and when you break apart your both breathing heavy.

           “I’ll always love you too.”

           Yoongi gently lets you go and opens the door for you. He turns you towards the door and guides you inside. You look over your shoulder at him and he gives you a small smile. You wish it was his gummy smile but know that that smile you’ll only ever get again if he’s truly happy and you hope that you’ll see that smile soon.

**

           “Hyung,” Jungook moves towards Yoongi watching him, as he watches you weave your way through the crowd. Jungkook was worried about his Hyung, Yoongi didn’t like to show a lot of people his true feelings, and with what just happened he didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing.

           “I’m fine Jungkook. You don’t need to worry about me,” Yoongi tells the maknae refusing to stop watching you until you disappear out of sight and he has no choice but to accept that he can no longer see you.

           “What happened between the two of you just now?”

           Yoongi didn’t even know where to start. When he first approached you, his only concern was making sure that you were okay and that you didn’t hate him. But then you had smiled at him and acted like everything was okay. You were being your cute self and he didn’t know if you were just faking it or if it was real. Then the next thing he knew he was spilling his guts to you and then you were in his arms. He missed having you in his arms, he didn’t realize just how much he missed you until he had you in his arms again.

           Then you had started talking about how maybe you two would never work out or maybe you two just needed some time to grow as your own person. He knew that what you were saying made sense while you two loved each other right now you were not good for one another. He was constantly locking himself in his studio and you were busy building your career as a photographer. You barely ever saw one another and that turned into you fighting. And he hated fighting with you. Then you had suggested one day that you break up. He hated having that memory of hearing those words come out of your mouth.

           “Yoongi we need to talk,” You were standing in his office. His back was turned to you and he was more focused on his work then what you were saying. Maybe if he was paying more attention to you he would have noticed the pain in your voice.

           “Just give me a moment.”

           “No,” you demanded, “we need to talk now.”

           Sighing he had turned around in his chair to face you. It was then he noticed how uncomfortable you looked and how you were avoiding looking directly at him. Instead you were looking slightly off to the side.

           “Y/n,” Yoongi had started.

           “This isn’t working, we’re not working. We never see each other and when we do see each other we fight. I can’t keep going on like this Yoongi. I think it would be best if we broke up.”

           Yoongi didn’t know what to say. He knew that things weren’t good between the two of you. You had been fighting more and spending less time with one another. He had just figured you two were going through a stressful time and everything would work itself out. You though felt differently and wanted to end things.

           “You want to break up,” Yoongi confirmed.

           “I don’t want to break up,” your voice cracked, it was then that you finally looked at him and he knew that you were barely keeping it together.

           “But, I don’t want our relationship to keep going the way it is. I don’t want to accept that I may not see or hear from you for weeks. I don’t want to keep fighting and then come to hate you one day. We need to admit that we’re not working and end this now before we really hurt one another.”

           Yoongi didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to break up with you but, you were also right. You two would go weeks without seeing one another. He rarely called or texted you and then when you were together you were fighting. You didn’t have a healthy relationship and it would lead to the two of you hating each other. And he didn’t want that as much as Yoongi didn’t want to he agreed with you, you two should break up.

           “Okay, Y/n we should break up,” Yoongi looked right into your eyes and he hoped that you saw how much it was hurting him to say those words. He hoped that you knew that he was hurting just as much you are.

           “Alright. I guess we’re done then.”

           “I guess we are.”

           The two of you just stood there looking at one another. Neither of you knowing what to do now that it was over. Yoongi wanted to pull you into a hug and tell you that everything was going to be okay but, he knew that he no longer had that right and he was probably the last person that you wanted to comfort you.

           “Good bye Yoongi,” you suddenly blurted then hurried out of his studio before he even had a chance to reply.

           “We talked and agreed to see if we have a shot at making this work or not,” Yoongi finally answered Jungkook while shaking off the memory.

           “Does that mean that you’re back together?”

           “No, we’re not back together. We just aren’t saying that we’ll never work out. We’re going to go on living our lives and if it happens it happens.”

           “But, you love Y/n and have been miserable without her. Why wouldn’t you tell her that you want to get back together with her?”

           Jungkook didn’t get it. Yoongi was crazy about you. Ever since the two of you broke up Yoongi had been locking himself away more in his studio and wasn’t smiling as much as he use to. Jungkook had hoped that with you being here tonight the two of you would realize how much you missed each other and would get back together.

           “I do love her and I wasn’t a good boyfriend to her. Jungkookie I have some changes I need to make in myself before I can be with Y/n. We deserve to have the best of each other, and we were not giving that to one another before. Now, we have a chance to fix that and I’m going to do it.”

           “So you are going to get Y/n back!” Jungkook couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face. Yoongi returned the smile.

           “I’m not giving up on us. Come on Kook let’s go home.”

           Jungkook watched his Hyung head back inside towards the rest of their members. Jungkook hoped that the two of you would be able to make it work this time, and that Yoongi would haven’t to go much longer without you in his life. Maybe it was the romantic side of him coming out but, Jungkook had a feeling that the two of you were made for one another.

[junkyuholic]

can u mayhaps do a yedam as your bf post

yes i may!! also sorry for the long wait but thank you for requesting <3

feel like I got really carried away with this considering how long I made it, and I still had so much more to add 😭😭😭anyways enjoy!!!

Yedam As Your Boyfriend

he’s vvv shy at first

before dating you were literally an angel to him

he still thinks of you as an angel when you two start dating

only difference is that his gf/bf is an angel!!

he really adores you 🥺

he’s so shy at first that he actually struggles to keep eye contact with you

he just thinks you’re too perfect

ugh listen he just really adores you

once you two get comfortable with each other:

he won’t stop talking

but in a good way!!

he tells you about his day without missing any detail

and he expects the same from you!!

full of laughs

really listening to you sing

even if your not good at it

makes you two duet at karoake

would make the both of you memorise song lyrics so you two can make a cover of it

and he’ll listen to those covers whenever he misses you 🥺🥺🥺🥺

he absolutely loves it when you two rap

mino x bobby songs are his favourite to rap with you

he always records the two of you whether you’re rapping/singing just for fun or not

and when you ask him why he tells you they’re memories <333

takes pictures of you when you’re not looking

has a whole album dedicated to you

his whole drive is literally filled with songs and pictures and videos of you smh

loves putting those cute filters on when taking selfies together

COUPLE ITEMS

ok so with Yedam it wouldn’t be full on

but like it would be discrete but not too driscrete you get me ????

like matching phone cases, jewellery, hats and shoes!

he’ll definitely buy you 827;837472929 of them

ESPECIALLY when he goes on tour

y’all would have matching key chains uwu

your dates would consist of you two in isolated areas

where there’s not many people around

so no restaurants or theme parks

but lots of picnics and walking on the beach uwu

sorry but....

STUDY DATES

ok he’s literally Einstein as a kpop idol 😭

y’all are gnna study together

so if you’re failing in any subjects

don’t worry!!! Yedam will help you!!!

even if you don’t ask him too

the second he finds out your falling behind in any classes he will do his best to help you

mans is literally ranked no.1 in his own school

he

will

help

you

you’ll get those good grades ok!!

so you know how he has those plush key chains on his bag ????

would be a switch when cuddling

would be the big spoon and the little spoon

doesn’t really mind he just wants whatever makes you happy

but i kinda feel like he leans a little towards the big spoon side ????

is it just me ???

but like on days where he’s upset he has to be the little spoon

he just likes the feeling of you having your arms wrapped around him when he’s upset

brings him comfort and lets him be reassured that he has someone

I feel like he’s somewhat obsessed with your hair

he looked at it once while he was the big spoon and was like ‘you got really soft hair’

loves running his through it

he probably wants to style your hair too

but he’s too shy to ask :(

so when he stares at your hair vvv intensely

don’t say anything

just hand him the brush ok.

Yedam gets at 10/10 for being a good boyfriend !!

can somebody plz request a part 2

[skullsandwineglasses]

Yang Zi and Deng Lun

So I’ve been having a hard time trying to move on from Ashes of Love, and what I’ve been curious about is the lack of IRL interactions between Yang Zi and Deng Lun despite them being long-time collaborators, if not friends. They both participated in a lot of variety shows, just never together.

They’ve only appeared together publicly on 5 occasions (or at least 5 that I’ve seen): on Happy Camp in 2013 to promote Flowers in Fog, at 2 award shows, at an event to promote Ode to Joy 2 (though their interactions were minimal to none), and at a 2018 Oppo event. 

I’ve been wondering why they didn’t do any promo events for AOL, or why they never sang a duet together on stage. 

I then did some digging (using my limited literacy in Chinese) and came across the infamous instagram incident in September 2018 just after AOL finished airing, which caused fan wars that have persisted til this day. People are questioning how genuine their “friendship” really is, and their fans apparently hate each other, which makes it hard for them to even be in the same room together without being mercilessly harassed online. 

The incident didn’t seem to leave any hard feelings between them though, since they seemed to be friendly and cordial enough at the Weibo awards in early 2019 (with Deng Lun even coming up to Yang Zi’s seat to playfully flip her dress to get her attention and then sit next to her), and they spoke fondly of each other in separate interviews later that year too, but their fans can’t seem to let the incident go. And being two of the biggest stars in China, the longevity of their fame depends on them being able to read the room, which in this case is their respective fanbases. 

This also makes me believe that we’re not going to see them in another drama together any time soon. I’d love to be proven wrong about this, but based on the circumstances, I don’t know if they’d think that another collaboration is a good career move for them. 

1. The first reason is an obvious one. Their next collaboration is unlikely to match the success of AOL. AOL is kind of like a one-hit-wonder. You usually only have that kind of runaway success once (unless you’re Yang Mi or Zhao Liying). I don’t see them being in another fantasy drama, since people would be making too many comparisons. They would have to do something different that they haven’t done before (kind of like Tang Yan and Luo Jin who have collaborated 5 times, and each time their roles and relationships were completely different). 

2. I don’t see Deng Lun repeating co-stars (besides the fact that he collaborated with YZ twice already). He’s already spending this year focusing on variety shows, which means that his next drama isn’t going to be out in a while (depending on when he even decides to take on a new project). So, his body of work is already quite limited, meaning that he probably wouldn’t want it dominated by a single co-star. He also pairs up with the biggest actresses trending at the time (e.g., Sun Yi, Dilireba, Zhao Liying, Ma Sichun, etc) so I think he’ll continue this pattern and pair up with whichever rising actress has the public favour 2 or so years from now. (Unpopular opinion: That is, if he is still in demand 2 years from now. “Fresh meat” actors usually don’t stay in the spotlight for very long. They shine hella bright, but also burnout hella fast. They’re not very sustainable tbh. Lin Gengxin was similarly in a ton of variety shows when he peaked, and now I barely hear anything about him. Their staying power is fleeting. Also, while variety shows might keep you relevant in the short term, they’re not as memorable as dramas). 

3. I also don’t know if Yang Zi would repeat co-stars. It seems like she’s aiming to have at least one hit drama a year, so I would imagine that she would be more picky about her projects. But at the same time, I feel like she would be more open than DL to have another collaboration with him (though since we aren’t them, we can never know what they think). She usually takes on several dramas a year, so I would imagine that she wouldn’t mind having a repeat collaboration since she already has enough other projects to diversify her portfolio. 

4. As much as Deng Lun says that he admires YZ and acknowledges her hand in his success, I also don’t know if he wants to depend on her to keep his career alive (I imagine that his fans probably want to crucify me for saying this, but good thing that no one reads rants on tumblr). In both of his collaborations with YZ, it transformed his career and gave him a huge boost in popularity. So he probably wants to avoid that association. Don’t get me wrong, I think he’s a good actor and has a ton of potential (way better than other “fresh meat” actors before him), but I feel like he’s currently being pigeon-holed as an “idol” actor. And with a lack of notable acting projects in the near future, it’s a little concerning). He needs to take on more challenging and meaningful roles, like slice of life dramas, or smart historical/political dramas. He needs to diversify.

5. Top Billing. Yang Zi got top billing in Ashes of Love because she was more popular at the time, was signed first, and was the one who recommended DL for the role in the first place. But now that they rival each other in popularity, I don’t know whom top billing would go to. After seeing how heated fans got when debating who should get top billing for Love Designer and next year’s The Golden Hairpin, I feel like studios and producers would be wary of casting 2 mega A-list actors. 

That isn’t to say all hope of another collaboration is lost. They were recently in a pepsi commercial together (although it doesn’t look like they shot it together), but their faces appear next to each other on advertising posters, meaning that their partnering still has marketing value. 

I love them both, and I’m just trying to pull myself out of this rabbit hole and distance myself from them by facing the music and the reality of their professional relationship in order to tear myself away from their characters in AOL. 

I could go on another rant about how Deng Lun is nothing like Xufeng, and how Yang Zi’s interaction with Deng Lun seems to be mostly on a professional level, especially when you compare it with her unfiltered interactions with her childhood BFF Zhang Yishan and her shy interactions with her ex-BF Qin Jun Jie, but that’s another controversial rant that I won’t get into here. 

Thoughts, corrections, and addition input are welcome, thanks. 

[justkpopjokes]

SVT’s Reaction to Being Outed for Dating a Guy

A/N: I’m perfectly fine with it, here you go bub!! And I hope fans of all pronouns/identities feel welcome on my blog, so if y’all want to request more pride stuff or specifically for fanboys, they/them fans, etc, then feel free to! Reaction & drabble requests are still open~

I hope you all enjoy this even if it may not be completely accurate ^^ ♡

S.Coups

Wbk he’s 100% supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, so he’s definitely aware of how Korea thinks of his relationship and doesn’t care about Korea’s opinions of him as an LGBTQ+ person. He still does a good job at hiding his relationship for his boyfriend’s sake, though.

Honestly, being the best leader he is, Cheol is the one with the situation under control... on the outside. He deals with the company and the media really well, but on the inside he’s an emotional mess because he’s worried about how his bf would react to the whole ordeal. Again, it isn’t the pride stuff he’s worried about; he cares for his boyfriend and wants him to feel safe after their relationship is exposed.

...Will smother his bf with love once they're free from the drama tho lol

Jeonghan

Jeonghan’s worried at first but he quickly gains the confidence that everything will be alright as long as he and his boyfriend maintain a healthy relationship. He’s not going to let the company tear them apart, much less “fans” and the public! He meets with the company early on to get everything sorted out and confirms his relationship (if his bf approves) so they don’t need to worry about being too secretive about it.

And after all the professional stuff? He lowkey owns it tbh. His way of dealing with the media is holding his boyfriend’s hand in public to show that “yes, we’re dating; your opinions aren’t going to change anything!” What a king.

Joshua

Because he’s from the USA, Joshua would be the most comfortable in this situation compared to the others. He's definitely worried and shocked, especially when the company says they need to talk to him about dating rumors. But his opinion is swayed by how his boyfriend feels, rather than the opinion of literally everyone else who doesn’t have a say in the relationship 🙃

If his bf doesn’t want to make the relationship super public, he understands completely; Josh will definitely want to show him off though! ;) A v caring man who probably posts the occasional selfie with his boyfriend. His mans should expect some guitar serenades too!

Jun

When the company calls him in to talk about dating rumors, he makes sure his boyfriend is with him, or at least tells his bf about how the company wants to proceed. He gets through everything while trying to be strong and not to show any doubts he has.

But c’mon, he would be the one that’s super giggly and obvious about his relationship after he’s outed. He posts funny pics with his boy on Weibo whenever they’re chilling together! (As Jun’s bf... you’re gonna have to tolerate that lmao.)

Hoshi

Honestly doesn’t really care about the company’s opinion that much. Probably posted pictures of one of the places they went on a date at and then someone got suspicious. He’s more concerned about his group members though, so he asks for their opinions and advice before even asking out his now-boyfriend. (Probably still asks for advice after he starts dating said boyfriend lol)

He’s worried about carats and Korea’s opinions, but he’s also not gonna let that stop him from loving and appreciating his boyfriend! His mindset is that they’ll get through it, and they’ll get through it together.

Wonwoo

His big brain is very aware about how he/his relationship is be viewed by the locals. Writes a statement explaining the situation if it was revealed in a really rude way (*cough* Dispatch). Ultimately he handles the media and rumors really well!

In terms of his members and boyfriend... he needs a lot of validation. He’s worried for sure, so he needs a lot of love and reassurance that he’s doing enough to keep his bf and the group safe. Hides from the media until the rumors die down or gets comfortable enough to show his relationship in public.

Woozi

Jihoon’s pretty responsible, but he knows that if he’s outed, he’s outed. He talks with the members about it since he’s worried how it will affect them and his boyfriend. (If his man is a celebrity like an actor/idol too... hoo boy he's so stressed.😢) He definitely worries that the media will harass his boyfriend or knetizens will ask him to leave the group.

Once the members and boyfriend comfort him and give him a lot of love, he’s calmed and is back to being himself! Keep his relationship mostly private, but probably writes a love song that carats just know was inspired by his boyfriend!

DK

He could care less about the company or the general public; what’s important is his bond with his boyfriend, his members, and carats (in that order). Mr. Sunshine Seokmin is emotional about the drama happening. He loves his boyfriend with all his heart and it shows, so he’s scared his bf will leave him out of fear or stress :(

He understands if his bf wants to break up and talks with him about it, but to his joy that won’t be the case!! After the stress passes, he’s still careful about how much of their relationship is shown to the public. But he’s definitely open to pda if his bf is okay with it! He’s excited to share his life an experiences with his boyfriend and to celebrate theirs too.

Mingyu

The company brought up dating rumors to him pretty quickly because of his previous ‘scandal’ and they want to prioritize his safety and avoid another once. But once he’s outed, he knows there’s no going back, so he goes with the flow and starts posting pictures of him and his boyfriend with no fear!! He either posts on his Instagram account if they ever start using their accounts again, or he lets his bf post pics wherever he wants. He’s cautious, but also, who cares?!

He tries to separate his relationship from Seventeen as much as possible, but doesn’t shy away from the idea of doing a Vlive with just him and his bf. Definitely a couple trying to show Korea that love is love and Mingyu can date whoever tf he wants!!!

The8

Minghao’s super professional about everything and cautious because of Korea’s views. But if there is a slip-up (maybe during or after a date where someone snaps a picture), the moment he sees that someone has found out about his relationship, he talks about it with his bf. The members are told right after and he makes plans to talk to the company.

His priority is his boyfriend’s privacy and safety, especially if his bf isn’t a celebrity; Minghao’s super protective and is more cautious the next time(s) they go out together. If the relationship is eventually confirmed, it’s intentional and to show that he’s living his best life and that carats should too! (Though he probably won’t say anything about his relationship other than that.)

Seungkwan

He’s fine at first since the meeting with the company went well (thanks to Seungcheol's support) and the company suggests they reveal the relationship. But right after, Seungkwan’s an emotional wreck... there are times he feels like crying because of people leaving super inconsiderate comments and other times he feels enraged because of negative comments about his boyfriend. He takes a break from social media because of this.

Once the rumors died down and carats accept his relationship, he’s gushing about his man whenever he gets the chance! Interviewers are always asking him about what it’s like to be LGBTQ+ in a kpop group, but he always redirects the conversation to be about his boyfriend and how happy they both are!! I refuse to believe Seungkwan will be anything less than an amazing, caring boyfriend despite the whole situation.

Vernon

Vernon’s another member that’s more focused on how his boyfriend feels about the situation, rather than the company/Korea/fans’ reaction. It's scary for him to be outed like that, but his family (biological & svt) is very supportive of him and his sexuality! He would ask for a lot of advice from other LGBTQ+ idols (including fellow members, if they happen to be dating a guy at the time) for how they dealt with the initial wave of drama and criticism.

Just another boy that’s chill on the outside but is gonna need a lot of love to get through it all :’) Keeps most of his relationship off of social media, but if his boyfriend wants to post something, he’s okay with that!

Dino

He’s nervous mostly about the company’s reaction and the status of his relationship. He trusts that carats will be supportive, but he’s worried that the company or bf will react badly, so he talks a lot with the group first about his relationship even before he’s outed! He also discusses everyone’s reactions with his boyfriend. He wants to handle it well to show he’s capable, especially to his younger siblings & family, so the only person to know if he’s really feeling stressed is his boyfriend and maybe the members!

After being outed, he still wants to keep his relationship private. He doesn’t stress to much if he’s caught out with his bf once or twice, but he values his privacy and will only show his bf off if they are both in a secure point in their relationship.

[sincerelyreidburke]

Questionnaire for the rat bf, if u can?

Real Touille stan hours. Thank you. Ace rights. Let’s go under the cut and do the whole damn thing!!

Here’s the questionnaire of pride asks for the crickets! Send me anything!

I’m answering this entire thing “as” Touille, so be aware of that.

1. what is your sexuality?

I’m asexual!

2. what do you identify as?

I use the term aro-ace, for the most part. Or just ace.

3. how long have you been aware of your sexuality/identity?

Okay, well, I’ve known as long as I can remember that I’m not into romance or dating. I never understood, growing up, why everyone was always asking me about girls or why there was so much romance in the media. But if you mean knowing the word for my sexuality... then not that long, actually. It was during fall of freshman year, and the upperclassmen started talking about Winter Screw, which was coming up. I kind of freaked out when I realized it was a dating thing, because I didn’t want my roommate Francis (or anyone) to pick a date for me. So I had a little panic moment, and then Bully asked me if I was asexual. I had no idea it was a thing, but it was the best epiphany. I’ve felt so much more comfortable in my own skin since I learned there were other people like me.

4. do you have any preferences?

For, like... dating? Not applicable, I guess.

5. share a positive memory about coming out!

Because I realized I was ace in front of all of SMH at team breakfast, I didn’t really have to come out to any of them. And I haven’t really come out to that many other people, because I’m not sure my parents or my mémé would think it’s a real thing, but I did have a good experience coming out to Quinn! It was, like, two weeks after I met him, and they were doing this double-date thing with him and Nando plus Ben and Gina, who he was dating at the time, and, well, anyways, Quinn thought they were excluding me? And he said, oh, Remy, do you want to come? Are you seeing anyone? And I said, oh, no, I’m asexual, actually. And it was really nice, because Quinn just smiled and said oh, that’s lovely! I love your pride flag! and we moved on. It was really validating. Also it was the first time I really came out to anybody at all.

6. how do you feel about pride month?

Ben and Nando introduced me to the concept of pride month a few months before pride month actually happened for the first time since I met them. I like pride month because I send bad memes to my friends, and also because it’s fun on social media, but... in my regular life, I don’t really get to do that much for pride. Except the summer between sophomore and junior year, Ben came up to Quebec and we went to pride. Which was really fun, actually. And also, at the end of freshman year, Quinn sewed pride patches for a bunch of people, and he gave me a little circle that’s a hybrid of the ace flag and the aro flag, so I pin it to the hat I wear when I work at my papa’s crêperie in June.

7. do you participate in pride related events? any other events?

On the night of Winter Screw freshman year, Bully brought me to this party at his friend’s apartment, and introduced me to a bunch of other ace people. Apparently, they have this top-secret ace club??? It’s not an official campus club or anything, but they just... host parties sometimes, especially on nights where dating stuff is happening on campus, like Screw and also Valentine’s Day. I don’t know if that really counts as a pride event, but it makes me happy. It’s all kinds of people, from all over the Samwell community, and it’s really cool.

8. how do you feel about lgbtqa roles in media?

I wish there were more ace ones.

9. do you feel pride in who you are?

Honestly, yeah, I do! I’ve never really been ashamed of my identity, even before I knew there was a word for it and a community of people like me. The only time I’ve been discouraged about it is thinking about how the world is so romance-oriented, but that’s not really about myself; it’s kind of just frustration with the way society is.

10. who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery?

Bully! He was the first person to say the word ‘asexual’ to me, and he and I have been really good friends the whole time we’ve been on the team together. He teaches me about ace stuff and we usually sit together on the bus. I don’t think I would even know about asexuality at all if it weren’t for him. Okay, well, maybe Ben would have taught me eventually. But still. I’m really grateful for Bully.

11. tell us about your first crush?

Hahaha, not applicable. But I can tell you about my first real squish, if you want? Bully taught me what a squish is. It’s like a friend crush, but a little different than just wanting to be friends with a person. It was Ben for me.

12. what sort of advice to have you lgbtqa teens?

Well, for ace teens, you aren’t broken and you’re whole on your own. Never compromise the way you feel for other people’s sake.

13. have you come out to friends and family?

I’m ‘out’ to all my closest friends, but not to my family. Like I said, I’m not so sure my parents would think asexuality is even a real thing. They just think I’m taking a long time to find somebody.

14. how do you feel about the term “coming out”?

(Mel talking...) Click here for Touille’s answer on this one!

15. do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of?

For me? Not exactly... not really. Aside from generating annoying comments, coming out as ace doesn’t endanger me directly in any way. I’m lucky, because I know that’s not the case for every ace person.

16. any tips on coming out?

Oh, man, I’m definitely not qualified to give coming out tips.

17. what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtqa characterization in media?

(Mel again!) Here’s Touille’s answer on this!

18. what’s your favorite parts of lgbtqa characterization in media?

When I actually see aro and ace characters. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a confirmed one, but I like projecting onto characters without a love interest. Jughead from the Archie comics? Obi-Wan Kenobi? Merida, the Scottish girl? Asexual icons, and thank you for asking.

19. what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school?

My teachers said little to nothing. I went to a French Catholic high school, and I think they ignored it on purpose.

20. do you practice safe sex with the same sex?

Haha, not applicable.

21. what’s an absolute turn off for you in people?

Also not applicable, but in friendship terms, when people don’t shut up about themselves. I can’t stand huge egos. There were a lot of them in juniors.

22. what’s an absolute turn on for you in people?

Definitely not applicable.

23. how do you feel about lgbtqa clubs/apps/websites?

I like browsing AVEN and the LGBT+ parts of Reddit. And we have the unofficial ace club on campus. Bully calls it the ‘ace gang’.

24. how do you feel about the term “queer”?

My friends use it all the time, but I don’t really say it that much. I don’t have anything against it, it’s just not something that’s really part of my vocabulary. I don’t find it harmful.

25. how does your country view the lgbtqa community?

Canada has a long way to go on some social issues, but as far as I can tell, LGBT issues are pretty okay. We have a reputation for being more liberal than the US, which I guess is true in some ways, but things aren’t exactly perfect. But LGBT Canadians are a lot luckier than LGBT people in other parts of the world.

26. favorite lgbtqa actor/actress?

I’ve been trying to think of an example of an ace celebrity, but I’m coming up short.

27. any tips for heterosexual people on how to handle lgbtqa events/news?

Just listen, honestly. And stand up for people who are being picked on or shamed.

28. what’s the most annoying question you have ever gotten?

Definitely “when are you going to find someone?” I can’t stand that question.

29. how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/identity?

As long as they’re not in the vein of, like, you know aces aren’t LGBT, right?, then I actually really enjoy getting questions about my identity. Because people in my general life don’t tend to care that much about hearing about ace experiences (except my friends, who I love), talking about it comes sparse. Thank you for asking me all these questions, by the way! I feel appreciated.

30. what is your romantic affiliation?

I’m aromantic. :)