#so whats going on is that lydia summoned beetlejuice for the first time since the events of the musical

[impactrueno]

Beetlejuice clearly wasn't interested in Lydia when they met, so when do you think he actually fell for her? Was he so impressed by Lydia defeating him that he developed a little crush?

i think this might be the biggest thing i've been turning around in my head since the sequel dropped. how did bro get to this point. i need to know. you weren't like this where we left off, what happened during that huge time gap????

this is where canon ends and conjecture begins, you just have to theorize and fill in the gaps yourself with whatever makes the most sense to you, which is what i've been trying to do this whole time. so please bear with me here.

i don't know how much i want share or save for my comics because i don't know how much he would actually reveal about this but whatever we ball

edit: ok so i scrolled back up to this after finishing writing this and as it turns out i have no self control and i ended up sharing everything that crossed my mind. craziest stream of consciousness i've ever written down. strap on and keep your limbs inside the ride at all times. whatever. we BALL.

let's review their first encounter from his point of view:

you're hired to scare the deetzes, right? so you do just that. excellently you might add. just when you're about to terrorize their teenage daughter, barbara banishes you and the party is over. what fucking losers right? you get the sense that adam and barbara care about this girl so you make some remark about her and it pisses them off. haha. also whoa where did this place come from? damn adam, who could've guessed he had it in him. you forget about everything else and dance your way to dante's inferno room.

after spending a respectably tasteful evening with those ladies, you're chill now. relaxing under your little sun lamp to work on your tan.

someone walks in looking for adam and barbara. don't they know they're dead?

"are you a ghost too?"

"i'm the ghost with the most, babe."

hold on a sec, who's even—

...well hey. it's the girl.

the girl who can see ghosts, and she's talking to you.

target acquired. this one's your ticket out of this hellhole.

"you look like somebody i can relate to," you tell her. relate how? doesn't matter. you're ensnaring her with your affable demeanor like you always do, make people feel like you're pals with them first and foremost. she seems like a nice girl, so this should be easy. you tell her upfront that you want to get out of there and you need her help to do so.

"i want to get in," she says.

whoa there.

what? she wants to get in? she says that in response to you saying that you wanted out. she really has no idea what it's like on the other side, huh. but shit, that kinda stops you in your tracks a bit. this girl wants to die. this young? that's not right. makes no sense.

"...why?"

she just looks at you and says nothing. jesus. ok maybe it's none of your business so let's back it up. you're losing control of the conversation and you're on a mission here. you figure if she helps you get out, you might as well talk her off that ledge or show her how shitty it is on the other side or somethin'. frankly, you can't afford to care right now. you're not entirely sure why she thinks things would be better on the side you're so desperate to get out of, but alright. doesn't matter, right now you gotta get her to summon you. so you begin your little game of charades.

after she correctly guesses your name and almost says it a third time, she recognizes you as the snake that terrorized her family. god fucking dammit. you're losing her. you're getting impatient. your affable act is over. "nah...i want to talk to barbara," she says and now she's REALLY getting on your nerves because fuck barbara, fuck adam, you're SO CLOSE to getting out and you're not gonna let this go now, go go GO GO SAY IIIIIIITTTTTTT

adam and barbara walk in because of course they do. womp womp

ok well that didn't work, but you're not gonna give up so easily. sooner or later another opportunity will come and soon you will be free.

wait why are they moving the model— where are they taking it—

ooohhhhh. business meeting. get a load of these yuppies, trying to turn winter river into a town-sized Ripley's Believe it or Not. a talking marcel marceau statue? and you thought you were a con man. no wonder the deetz girl wants to die, it's bleak as hell here too. but if you get out...you can fix that. hell, you can fix anything.

these bozos are here to see some ghosts, but the girl says they're not going to show up unless the fleshbags stop making a mockery out of the whole thing and that maybe they can all live happy together in the house. ain't that sweet.

of course no one's taking her seriously. she's a kid, what does she know, right? they'd rather listen to the most obnoxious guy in the room (besides yourself) who has no idea what the fuck he's talking about, but somehow, he's got his hands on the handbook.

the girl panics, then immediately says completely deadpan "wait, what am i even worried about, otho, you can't even change a tire" and you're surprised they didn't hear how hard you cackled at that.

despite all that, they seem to have started a séance with their old wedding clothes. bad news for the maitlands. they're about to be dead-dead. the girl cries for them to stop, and these guys are just sitting there scared shitless. you're hearing everything. you knew a new opportunity would arise, so you wait, because this is the part where people remember how good at your job you are. they always do.

she knows you can help. you're the only one who can help. so here she comes. those wedding clothes give you an idea. plan B is now in motion.

well well well.

look who came crawling back.

she asks for your help, and you're happy to oblige, under one condition of course. after all, you don't do anything for free, and she's the only one who can help you with your problem. how serendipitous.

once again, you lay it on her, straight up. you want out. and a way to do it (thanks adam and barbara for the reminder) is through marriage with a fleshbag. you need to get married. a green card marriage, if you will.

she's immediately disgusted by the idea. you don't take that personally, of course, because it doesn't matter. she's just a kid and it's not a real marriage. she just happens to be unlucky enough to be the only one around who can assist you with this, the poor girl. it's a marriage of convenience—or rather, inconvenience—and you're not planning on sticking around because you will get the hell out of there as soon as you can. so there shouldn't be a problem, right? besides, does she know how many women would kill to be in that position? she gets to brag about it to her friends, what's not to like? it's a totally even deal.

the clock is ticking and the maitlands aren't getting any younger. she agrees to the deal. you win, at last.

she already knows what to do, so you sit there patiently with a shit-eating grin on your face, awaiting the three little B words. gloating.

Beetlejuice........Beetlejuice...........Beetlejuice.

it's showtime.

this is your favorite part. you love a dramatic entrance. you decide to show the deetzes and their greedy friends the circus they so wanted to turn this town into. horrible as you are, you're also pretty damn good at calling out other people's horribleness, and you do love an ironic karmic way of dealing with someone. for example tubby here thinks he can escape, but not before you change his sleek black suit into a tacky white leisure suit. the horror! this is why you're a professional at this.

you effortlessly end the exorcism and the maitlands are saved. a little pruney right now but they'll be fine. everything is taken care of, you have fulfilled your end of the deal like you promised. only one thing left to do.

"shall we?"

there's really no need to make a whole show out of this, but you're a showman first and foremost and as a 𝒥𝓊𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝓊𝓂 you'll be damned if you're not gonna let yourself have a little fun with this. everyone looks terrified. this is why you're a professional at this.

witnesses and reverend in place, you can finally begin the ceremony. you're having fun, yes, but let's try to pick up the pace a bit, okay? the closer you get to your goal, the more impatient you get. the girl isn't finding any of this very funny at all and she protests. the maitlands butt in and are now kind of twisting your arm a bit, but you deal with them harmlessly, until they get on your last nerve so you send adam to the model and barbara to saturn. all of this after you honorably fulfilled your end of the bargain and saved the day. jesus christ, are you the only one with some integrity around here or what.

you forget the stupid ring. shit. you're pretty sure you have it on you somewhere, ever since you chopped up delores into pieces for poisoning you. you kept her ring finger as a trophy and as a reminder to never get married again, and yet here you are, but desperate times call for desperate measures. finally, you find the ring (still on her severed finger) and hastily tell your new bride-to-be that delores meant nothing to you. in case she even cares. she doesn't seem to. not even a chuckle? oh well.

almost done with the ceremony. almost there. you're holding the girl's hand with an iron grip to keep her in place as you're about to put that ring on her finger. "i now pronounce you, man and—"

a tiny car crashes against your foot and it catches on fire. you scream. a fucking sandworm crashes into the room through the ceiling. everyone screams. you scream LOUDER.

you're sent back to the afterlife waiting room.

not your first rodeo with a sandworm, but that doesn't make the experience any less shitty. the real annoying part is being in the waiting room again. this could take ages. you're number 9,998,383,750,000 and they're serving number 3 right now. you trick the guy next to you and steal his ticket (number 4) but he's not too pleased about that, so that didn't work.

a long time sitting here it is, then.

movie ends, credits roll.

for reference, that was 1988. winona ryder was 15 when they were filming in 1987 so while lydia doesn't have a confirmed age, i think we can safely assume that she was the same age as winona at the time.

36 years later, it's 2024. or 34 years later, it's 2022. we don't know the exact year because while bob's in memoriam credits scene says 2024 and all the interviews talk about how 36 years have passed in universe as well, there's this other one tiny detail.

jeremy's death passport says he died on march 11, 1999. jane butterfield says he died "23 years ago," putting the movie in 2022. they did film it in 2022 so the math is mathing correctly there. given that the in memoriam scene was more of a joke and jeremy's passport is a canon prop in the movie, i'd say 2022 is the canon year the movie is set in. (small sidenote; the passport also has the roman numerals DCLXVI which is 666. cute detail i loved it)

in the sequel, beetlejuice says lydia has been ignoring him for 30 years. i always thought that was curious because outside of this claim, they always specify how many years exactly have passed since. he doesn't say 34 or 36, he says 30. and for his degree of obsession (and the fact that he remembers exactly how many times he's watched The Exorcist) i think he would be counting even the days so i think he did really mean 30 years. so this would mean at least 4 years passed between getting sent back to the waiting room and the beginning of his stalking.

AND NOW that we established all that, we are finally getting to the answer to the question, "when and how did this all start?"

so okay, he spent a while in the waiting room. a lot of time to think. probably replaying the events at the deetzes' in his head over and over, how he got here, where he fucked up, what's he gonna do once he gets out. cursing the maitlands for ruining his plan when he was soooo fucking close. wondering what ever happened to lydia deetz.

lydia deetz, the young girl who told him she wanted to die.

...

is she alright?

i don't think he's capable of feeling guilt, but we can probably argue that he's not entirely heartless. what she said about how she wanted to "get in" must've stuck with him from the way he reacted when she dropped that bomb. she never showed up in the waiting room so he knows she didn't follow through with that. still, he used a vulnerable young girl for his own selfish gain. ironically enough, he knows exactly how that feels, because he also got tricked into marriage and got used for someone else's gain. the difference being that he dealt with that shit with an axe.

much much much to think about for mr. juice.

after years of ruminating in that waiting room, he's finally out and back to the regular day to day afterlife. definitely gets chewed out by juno, maybe forced to do community service or labor or what have you, he basically just needs to clean up his act now. this freelancing shit is becoming more trouble than it's worth anyway.

he's still wondering about lydia deetz. should he check in on her? maybe he should, he's too curious now.

at this point, lydia is now about 19-21 and in college. maybe he manages to sneak into the model one time she's back home for the holidays or something. and oh my god would you look at that, what a beautiful young woman she's grown into. she's radiant. she's happy. she's no longer that gloomy suicidal kid he met in the attic. seems like what she said about the deetzes and the maitlands sharing the house did come true after all.

that's nice. very sweet. good to know.

maybe he wonders if she remembers him and tries to get her attention somehow, give her a little scare for old times sake or whatever. for a brief moment it seems like she saw something and her expression changes, but she shrugs it off and continues on chatting with her two sets of parents. no such luck.

oh well. curiosity sated! and beetlejuice goes back home and doesn't return.

until the next time he returns.

and he keeps coming back to check in on her, telling himself he's just making sure that she hasn't killed herself or something. and he's not above admitting that with every year that passes, she keeps getting more beautiful. and to think they almost got married, huh.

he constantly tries to get her to notice him somehow, and sometimes she almost does, but ultimately he never really succeeds beyond making her do a double take. very rarely she does catch a glimpse of him. he's seen her mutter to herself that she's just seeing things and she seems a bit frightened every time this happens, but there's nothing to fear, honey, it's just good ol' beetlejuice. he won't lie, he gets a bit of a rush every time and it makes his dead heart beat faintly. he's gotten this far, he can't just stop now. in his mind, this has become their little private game of cat and mouse, where the mouse ignores the cat. but aren't they cute? he thinks they're cute. this is not creepy at all!

before he realizes, he's already learned everything about her. he knows about richard and even watched their wedding from afar like a loser. he knows she gave birth to a healthy baby girl named astrid. he knows they have a blast on halloween. halloween is lydia's favorite holiday, and his too. sometimes he can't help but see the three of them happy together and think it could've totally been him. even if he and richard are nothing alike (in fact could not be more opposite) and the circumstances of their unholy wedding were nothing short of grim and a farce. but in his mind, he's starting to convince himself otherwise.

maybe it's his jealousy speaking, but lydia doesn't seem to be that happy with richard despite everything. even though richard is like, the perfect guy. then one day his suspicions are proven correct: neither of them knows why it happened, but after having a long and emotional talk (that he watched with a bucket of popcorn) they decide to get a divorce. he pumps his fist, feeling victorious for some reason. sure he's a little sadistic at times, but why is this giving him so much glee?

the divorce is hard on lydia's kid, who was always more attached to her father, but they still spend a lot of time together. sometimes the three of them, since richard and lydia kept things amicable after the divorce. lydia tries to move on and see other people, but each relationship fails before it even starts. mostly because she keeps holding back and so fails to connect with anyone else, but also sometimes because, well, he can't help himself but to scare them away from her from time to time. it's fun. in his mind, he's just being protective of her, as a gentleman should for a lady.

then richard dies. fell into a piranha infested river from the looks of it (he saw him at immigration one day, don't ask what he was doing around there, force of habit after constantly making sure lydia hasn't killed herself yet.) it's devastating for both lydia and astrid, straining their relationship even more for the next few years as they both try to cope with the loss. the shock proves to be too much for lydia, so she goes to a survivors retreat to work through her trauma, both from richard's death and "unresolved feelings."

then lydia, at her most vulnerable, meets rory.

beetlejuice was able to clock him immediately. a textbook manipulative opportunist, he himself knows the tactics very well. swoop in to "help" someone in a vulnerable position, pull the wool over their eyes and begin taking control so you can get what you want out of that person.

he wouldn't admit it, but this really irks beetlejuice. you know when you see someone who reminds you of the worst parts of yourself, so you despise them? yeah. he's been there, and he's also been him.

but rory is somehow even worse than beetlejuice. see, rory is her manager, and boy does he manage to get on his nerves. he takes her phone. he controls what medication she takes. he blames and guilt trips her about every mishap that HE causes, making himself look like her benevolent savior and making her feel like she would be lost without him, confusing her with his psychobabble. on top of all that, he's forcing her to do this hacky show called Ghost House where she "hunts ghosts" or whatever. the houses he's been helping newly-deads with in his day job as a bio-exorcist (now with a fleet of employees,) she's "hunting" those ghosts now. it's so dumb. it never works. beetlejuice doesn't even know what the hell she's doing, she's phoning it in most of the time and she knows she's become a sellout. what happened to that "strange and unusual" girl who stood up for her ghost friends when those suits wanted to profit off of them back in winter river?

he needs to bring that back. he's the only one who can.

in his mind, beetlejuice has already rewritten the events that transpired. in his mind, lydia has been his wife this entire time, it's just, y'know, one of those open long distance relationships and she doesn't always remember him, but that's okay. in his mind, they share a psychic bond that allows her to sense his presence or see him in her dreams from time to time. he's got nothing to be jealous about, because other men can't compare. no one else can match what they have.

sure, part of him knows he's lying to himself a little bit. but he's already clung to this idea; these past 30 years wouldn't make sense otherwise. he's in love with lydia deetz. this isn't insane of him to say at all. and if it is, well, you know what they say, love makes you do batshit crazy things.

it's not that complicated, no matter what they say you'll never meet another me it's not that difficult to get my head around i'll never meet another you

the end

don't trick me into writing a fanfic again

[soakedmilkgt]

Completely self indulgent gt beetlejuice drawing because if i dont do it no one will

[effloradox]

musical!beetlejuice + sfw alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

so physically affectionate, will not leave you alone (if you're okay with that!!), he's so obviously touch starved that once you're in a (tentatively named) relationship it becomes free game that he can and will be touching you at all times

cuddles are a must, will ask you any time you are alone together (and it can and sometimes does lead to more)

he also really likes giving gifts but he is terrible at it (the maitlands have told him on numerous occasions that he can’t give you body parts as gifts, it’s not really sunk in yet) but he’s trying his best!! and he’s so endearing when he gives you anything!

if you gift him anything he will boast to literally everyone he haunts for like a fortnight afterwards

he loves when you initiate the affection though!! like wow this person is choosing to do this, he didn't have extort, torture, or lie for this!! please get him some therapy

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

post-canon, lydia ends up with a chaos demon best friend and lucky you, you're going to be dragged into all the chaos that takes place! (and potentially be damage control / the voice of reason)

the deetz-maitland household has barely known peace since the two of them became best friends, and now you’re included with that, good luck!!

both of them will listen to you (sometimes) so you'll be invited to join in with scaring the shit out of the pizza delivery guy :) it's a good couples bonding activity don't question it

you're always very willing to help if it's aimed at someone who was being creepy with lydia, that's when you have to convince the two of them that they can't murder the guy that did it (even if you agree with them)

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

as mentioned before, he’s literally obsessed, can and will take every single opportunity to cuddle you

the first time you initiate it, he will turn bright pink and vanish from the room, he can’t believe someone actually wants to be near him like that

he'll get used to it quickly though!!!

will force you to sit down so he can rest his head in your lap sometimes, he absolutely loves it

he purrs if you mess with his hair!! please do it, he'll love you forever (and lydia thinks it's hilarious)

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

do not let him cook for you unsupervised!!!! he will use bleach thinking it'll enhance the flavor profile and you will end up with an early ticket to the netherworld!! please do not consume anything he made without consulting the maitlands beforehand!!!

he likes to say he's your house spouse because he stays at home most of the time <3 (you've tried pointing out that he has a job and he does nothing around the house but he always pulls you into a kiss and that always ends the conversation)

he's pretty well set up where he is right now, living between your place and the deetz-maitland house, he considers himself to be settled down right now

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

lol he would just not do that

boy has major abandonment issues and would overlook any and all red flags any parter presented (also y'know he's a demon, for him some red flags are green flags)

I think it would be intervention from someone in the Deetz-Maitland family that would actually have to initiate any kind of break up because I just don't see him doing so

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

his green card marriage to lydia does not get brought up a lot in the house (unsurprisingly) now he's been summoned and welcomed into the house, he's less set on life via marriage because hey he has a pretty good set up going on right now without being alive, why mess with a good thing and potentially ruin it y’know

would still want to marry you eventually, but isn't going to push it too much until you start bringing it up too (doesn't wanna scare you off before he can put a ring on it y'know?)

if it leads to him being alive again then that's just a bonus

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he does try to keep in mind that you're a living being and do not have the limits of a dead person but he forgets sometimes ):

will forget that you need to breathe when he's kissing you and wonder why you're trying to push him away

he can be gentle though!! when he remembers that you're flesh and bone

if you're in a bad mood he will proceed to dote on you in the same way that you dote on him

he's not all chaos, he can he soft when the situation arises for it (and only around people he trusts, he's got a reputation to maintain y'know?)

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

I keep talking about hugs but the ghost with the most just loves them so much 😭

all the physical affection all the time please babes <3

he hugs everyone in the house quite a lot (this was less endearing when he stank of rot and death but now he showers occasionally it’s a more welcome method of affection)

an easy solution initially was to spray him with room spray so at least he stank of flowers or pine

he does all kinds of hugs but the most common type is bear hugs that squeeze all the air out of your lungs

I = I Love You (How quickly would they say it? Would they say it a lot or rarely?)

he would say it pretty quickly, whether he means it initially is sort of up for debate, many members of the household think he only said it so quickly in the hope that you’d summon him (that did not work out if that was his intention)

it's a sweet moment and he will pull you into a kiss and no one will see the two of you for a few days <3

you’ll be able to tell the first time he says it and means it because his hair will turn magenta and he’ll try and laugh it off

if you say it back he will lose his ability to speak for a good few minutes (it’s one of the only times he’s ever been speechless in front of you)

he will say it constantly after that!! every person that meets him will know that you're in love after that :) very proud demon <3

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

he’s a demon and he’s quite territorial, jealousy is a big sticking point in anyone’s relationship with him

it’s not just with you, he gets jealous of people who get close to lydia and 'threaten' his position as best friend, he gets jealous of any work friends of charles’ who come round to view the house, it comes from his fear of being abandoned and you’re all working on ways to healthily navigate those feelings with him

he’s not perfect, and neither is anyone else, and it does sometimes feel like he’s not making any progress, but then you remember when he almost ripped someone’s heart out their chest because they winked at you a few months ago and how now he’d just growl loudly at them, and you realise that he is making progress with it, just slowly

he thinks it's absolutely hilarious if you got jealous over someone flirting with him though (do not let him know, you'll never hear the end of it)

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

messy af. that's it, that's how he kisses.

he will take any opportunity to dip you and kiss you in front of others, especially anyone who made the mistake of trying to make a move on you in front of the bug man

will kiss you anywhere and everywhere, he's a demon, he's not afraid to get messy

loves if you kiss his forehead or nose or somewhere more platonic, it makes him feel loved in a way that he isn't used to

cheesy kisses like on the back of your hand are a must <3

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

do not let him around children unsupervised!!!! do not do that!!!!

he will traumatise them and then no one's happy!!!!

if he says he's going to do a puppet show, do not let him proceed, it will not be a fun puppet show and it may end with your favourite book in the fire and the child in question crying

he likes being around kids cause he can fuck with them and no one believes them, just don't leave him on his own because then it will end with a kid having nightmares for the next few years...

is the kind of person to start a conversation with “hey kid, do you want to see something gross?” before pulling a severed finger from one of his many coat pockets (you search his pockets every time and never find any loose body parts, you’re not sure where he pulls them from)

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

he is absolutely not a morning person in any sense of the word

absolutely hates being woken up before noon

good luck getting out of bed to go to work, he will wrap an arm around you and will not let go until you threaten to banish him back to the netherworld

likes to lie on you when you are asleep so enjoy the human-shaped ice block resting on you (which is great in summer when it's hot but less good in winter when it's already cold)

slow and quiet mornings are needed because he will be groggy when he wakes up

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

depends if he's working or not!

if he’s not working then it’s horror movie night!

don't like horror films? you will by force if he has anything to do with it!! let's watch the Exorcist again babes, it won't be as scary now you've seen it 20 times!!

if he's at work he's all pouty before he has to go, like he's clingier than usual with all of you, whilst the puppy dog eyes are out in full force

he loves scaring people for a living, but he hates leaving you guys )): but you can't go with him to the netherworld so he just has to suck it up and gothe sooner he goes, the sooner he comes back right <3

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

he doesn’t think he’s revealed a lot about himself for the time he’s been around you but he has, it’s just been made through jokes about his trauma (I’m serious, get him a therapist)

it blows his mind when you casually say something he doesn’t think you know like how do you know that??? you actually listen to him???

he’s been so used to being invisible that he talks aloud to himself a lot so if you actually listen, you’ll probably have learned more about him then he’ll have meant for you to

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

by you and the Maitland-Deetz’s? not very easily

it’s something he’s worked on a lot since lydia summoned him back to their house, he didn’t want to risk being banished back to the netherworld again

by other people, it depends on what they do

people flirting with you or someone being mean to lydia is the quickest way to get his hair flushing red and his self-control straining

he does try, but he’s a demon, there’s only so much he can do that doesn’t go against his very nature

he’s made progress though, you’re all very proud of him

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he’s bad with dates of events, it comes with how old he is

he will try his best but he just doesn’t have the head for it

he remembers a lot of what you and lydia say to him, less so for the others

you’ve learned if you want him to do something it’s better to leave notes somewhere he’ll see them rather than just saying it cause there’s a better chance that he’ll do it (but it’s still not guaranteed)

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

first ‘I love you’s probably

it really cemented that you actually like him and wanted to be around him, it was a very emotional experience for him

he speaks about it fondly to the others (and then he goes into graphic detail about what happened afterwards and that’s when the others have to cover their ears)

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

extremely protective of the whole family and the house, all of you know if anyone ever tried to break in, he'd probably kill them

the clones are helpful for that, he can always have a clone keeping an eye on things if he's away or otherwise occupied (plus adam and barbara can't leave so there's always someone there)

he likes to spend most of his time with either you or lydia, but sometimes he does have to go to netherworld for business and that's when he starts getting antsy

his hair'll be a mix of purple and yellow before he goes and no amount of reassurance can get it to change back to green

he tries to come home as quickly as possible, and if he’s going to be away from a while he will try and insist that you stay with the Deetz-Maitlands so you’re all together

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he tries his best but dates are not gonna sink in for him, he'll try for special occasions but small things like the first time you kissed or something are just not gonna stick in his head

mentioned before but he does love giving gifts (of varying quality and safety)

he gave you a baby sandworm once, it destroyed one of the walls in your house and he wasn't allowed in your apartment until the wall was fixed

you’ve tried to get him to get approval of any gifts from Adam and Barbara since then

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

he’s not clean. at all.

even when he’s washed (which is done rarely) he still smells like he’s just been buried

you’ve taken to filling your house with scented candles and incense sticks to try and offset the smell but it doesn’t cover it completely

air freshener spray downs when he first appears are pretty common for you, you go through at least a bottle a week

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

lol have you seen this man, he’s absolutely not (apart from his hair)

it’s taken time but he will shower now!! he hates it but will do it (also if you say you’ll wash his hair he’ll only grumble rather than full-on complain about it)

is very picky about who touches his hair, says it takes him forever to get it to look like that (you've watched him stick his fingers into a plug socket to shock himself so it'll stand up so you doubt that)

you know he can wear different clothes to his suit but it's very rare that he actually does so (when you first got him to shower he did so in the suit, it was...an experience)

he likes it if you wear his suit though 👀👀😉

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

yes but also no? he's a demon, he was alive way before you were born and will be alive long after your natural death, so in that way he wouldn't because he's already been him

on the otherhand yes, he would feel incomplete, you're the first breather to ever make him feel more than lust, it does worry him what will happen when you die (but also y'know when you die you can be together forever!! won't that be fun!!)

he doesn't worry too much about what you dying will mean for your relationship, right now he's just keeping it at the back of his mind

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

animals seem to really like him oddly enough

he prefers animals on the creepier side but it’s funny watching random animals just approach him when he’s outside

he says he can understand them, though none of you know if he’s serious or if he’s joking about it

you have overheard him speaking to a pigeon as though he was mid-conversation with it when he thought no one was there but the jury’s out on it

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

the deetz-maitland household are very important to him, if you don't get on with them on a serious level it would be an issue for him

there’s accommodation of any disagreements but if either party had a serious issue with the other it would make him very anxious about a future with the partner, especially if the relationship is still fairly new

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

he sometimes starts floating when he falls asleep, so good luck if you were cuddling him!

you have woken up in the night several times to find yourself on the ceiling, no it never gets any less terrifying, yes he finds it hilarious when you frantically wake him up cause you’re terrified of falling back to the ground

can and does sleep like a dead man, he’s grumpy if he’s woken up before he’s actually done sleeping (charles once tried to get him out of bed for a house meeting on etiquette, it didn’t go well and charles won’t talk about the incident)

he falls asleep in the weirdest places sometimes, lydia has a growing collection of photos of him in increasingly weird places

[jadeluz-official]

what would you change about bj2?

So I would scrap Delores and Rory altogether - or have them as just a couple that goes canon for the hell of it. I'd also maybe cut back on Charles and Delia time in BJBJ so I haven't included any of them in this mini essay.

My personal rewrite for BJ2 would be: 

[Act 1]

Introducing Astrid and Jeremy first. Lydia still willingly going to therapy and dealing with paparazzi from Ghost House, and trauma from BJ. Have Astrid and Lydia fall into family therapy with BJ where Astrid realizes, "Wait, you two know each other?" and BJ's trying to warn Astrid about Jeremy. Enter the BJ baby and they get summoned back out of the model. Astrid's all hesitant the next time she encounters Jeremy but he still offers to find Astrid's dad [+soul swap]. 

[Act 2]

This brings you to about the midway point in the film: Beetlejuice and Lydia team up. AVOID the marriage contract and only have them verbally agree to the wedding. Have Lydia start to fall for Beetlejuice when he's being funny around her. They do end up splitting up - but this time Lydia finds Jeremy before the passport stamp and tries to swipe the document. She ends up getting captured by Wolf.  

Beetlejuice hops on the train and tries to convince Astrid to get off. She has no choice but to accept help from her mom's crazy ex-fiancé. "Oh by the way, I'm gonna be your new dad." "Gross."

[Act 3]

Richard somehow distracts the guards in the crime unit, to allow Beetlejuice and Astrid to break her out of Afterlife jail, because an unauthorized ghost is walking around the immigration court. They capture Jeremy and hand Astrid the passport to get her life back. Richard tells Beetlejuice to take care of the girls before they all go through the exit door to Winter River. Beetlejuice and Lydia end up back at the chapel, and they FINALLY get fucking married. 

Okay, phew...

I know it's probably not the best rewrite, but the transition between Act 1 to Act 2 in BJBJ has WAY too much buildup with so many plots going on. It needs to cut those plots in half to smoothly transition for a linear and satisfying story. A lot of people felt dumfounded with the nightmare ending and I thought it was pretty lackluster to end that way, unless they were hoping to get enough support for a third film. 

But yeah that's kinda where I'd go with it. Maybe a little more backstory on Richard too since he only has like 3 minutes MAX screentime. Beetlejuice would need at least 25 minutes of screentime to really emphasize his "redemption" or winning Lydia over.

[beetled-juice]

Toonjuice, But Make It Horror

I love the animated beetlejuice cartoon so much! but I keep getting hit with ideas of how to translate it from a show for kids into something more along the lines of rated R horror. It would go much further than the musical in terms of the visuals (since it’s still cartoon-esque logic), but I also think it would still be hilarious to keep things like he can’t eat beetles on screen. So these are a bunch of unrelated ideas thrown together for how I would build on the established canon!

Should be kinda obvious, but this is a warning that I'll be discussing horror in its different forms. While I don't think I've described anything that needs specific warnings, I would imagine a general body horror / gore warning could apply, along with emetophobia for a very brief mention of vomiting. If there's anything that y'all think should be tagged please let me know!

Summoning:

To keep in line with how horror movies present demon summoning, I think to summon Beetlejuice you would need to do more than simply say his name. So based on the little ritual and chant Lydia does in the cartoon, I’ve created my own form of a summoning ritual!

To summon him you need to be in front of a mirror or reflective surface, and the summoning must be done in the dark. You’d also need a bowl of water, three candles, and three drops of blood.

In my mind, the summoning would go something like this:

You keep the set up in your bathroom - this gives you easy access to water and a mirror. The bowl you use is made of carved black stone, something spooky you picked up at an estate sale years prior. You use whatever candles you can get your hands on - sometimes it’s birthday candles from Walmart, other times it’s the nice beeswax ones you can get at the farmers market. You also keep matches and a small knife.

To start the summoning, you fill the bowl with the hottest water your faucet can provide and place it on the counter in front of the mirror. You place the candles in a triangle encompassing the bowl and light them. You then pick up the knife before closing the door and turning out the light. In the flickering lights of the candle, you prick your finger and bleed three drops into the water. As you watch the small ripples break across the surface, you begin the incantation.

Though I know I should be wary,

Still I venture someplace scary.

Ghostly haunting I turn loose,

Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!

With the summoning complete, you look to the mirror for your ghostly friend to appear in. Sometimes he comes right away, other times it takes him a bit to find the right mirror (”got held up in traffic like you wouldn’t believe babes, took me forever to get to ya!”). When he shows up, it’s always sudden and jarring - one moment you’re seeing your own reflection in the dim light, the next you have his glowing eyes and too-large-to-be-human grin staring back at you. He’ll then slowly climb out of the mirror, sometimes oozing out like a snake and other times using the mirror’s frame to haul himself out.

Now obviously you can’t have all of these items with you at all times! If you need to summon him right away, you could just say his name three times. This method, however, comes with a catch - what you summoned is still your Beetlejuice, but it’s not the stripey version we all know and love. You can’t explain what it is he looks like, because this version of him was not meant to be seen by the living. Your brain is simply unable to comprehend what it’s seeing, and the longer you look at him, the more serious the effects. With your first glance comes a pounding headache and ringing in the ears, then comes the bleeding from the eyes and nose, then vomiting, and eventually you’ll either pass out or it kills you.

If you have to summon him this way, keeping your eyes closed may not be enough to save you - his voice, while not quite as deadly, will still cause a lot of damage if he’s not careful. He has to make a concerted effort to speak in human language, and if he loses focus he can easily shift back into a demonic tongue that will make your vision white and your chest hurt. He also has to keep his volume in check, lest he accidentally explode the nearest windows and your ear drums (or worse: your head).

It may seem odd that knowing his name isn’t enough to summon him, but there’s a very good reason for that. Appearing in his true form when his name is spoken thrice acts like a defensive measure - to know his name is to innately hold power over him, because you now have the ability to dictate his summoning and banishing at your will. Summoning a demon is supposed to be difficult, not something you just do at a whim. He hates the idea that his freedom is subject to someone else’s will, so making the summoning as difficult as possible helps prevent most people from ever attempting it in the first place! And that worked well for him until he met a couple of breathers that he actually likes to be around. Luckily, he’s got a work-around for that (loopholes, you know he loves ‘em).

This work-around would allow you to use his name (three times in a row, spoken, unbroken) without the potentially deadly side effect of seeing him in his true form. Unfortunately, this option requires a deal - a contract, to be precise. No, you don’t have to sell your soul - it’s more of an outline of when and how it’s acceptable to summon him. For you and Lydia it’s entirely a formality, with the contract taken down to the bare bones before signing, but for some random stranger it would be approximately a mile long with lots of confusing language to essentially guarantee his continued freedom. He is a sleazy con artist at heart, and he knows how to offer a deal that only benefits him in the long run, so the fact that the contracts for his two favorite breathers are less than a page long and simply grant blanket permission to summon him whenever is a very big sign of his trust in the two of you.

Other Characters:

Now the toonjuice universe isn’t all about Beej (though he may argue otherwise) - it’s also about the colorful cast of dead people who make the neitherworld their home! I’ve included some bare bones concepts for each of them:

Poopsie:

Poopsie would be this absolute terrifying monster of a dog. He’s massive, your head only coming up to his shoulder. He has thick matted fur that looks like the colors of an oil slick, and there are definitely parts of him you shouldn't touch because chunks of fur, skin, and muscle will come off in your hands (it doesn't hurt him by any means, but it's definitely gross and a little traumatizing for you). Whenever he barks or growls it's like a sonic boom that rattles your body and knocks the wind out of you, and after the first few times Poopsie learns not to do that around you and Lydia anymore. Unfortunately Poopsie can't give you any kissies because his saliva is like an acid, so while it wouldn't hurt a dead person it would absolutely burn a breather. His breath is also noxious, and it kinda stings if he's panting too close to your skin. 

Even though this Poopsie is the embodiment of a hellhound, he's still an absolute sweetheart to you and Lydia, and he loves when the two of you play with him or give him your attention! He and Beej still have their stupid rivalry, and Doomie still tries to chase him and run him over whenever he sees him, but instead of being this tiny little furball he’s now as big as a truck. I’m also now thinking about how the episode where they have to rescue him from the pound is even funnier with this version of Poopsie, because now you have this monster dog trailing along behind the three of you in the sewers trying to escape the mean dog catcher who maybe reaches up to poopsie's chest

The Monster Across the Street:

I think he's just impossible to look at directly? His form is constantly shifting and you can't quite get a lock on what it is he looks like, like liquid shadow or the way light reflects off water. It's almost like trying to describe the center of a black hole when you can only see the event horizon. When you ask Beej about it he tells you that TMATS is supposed to take on whatever form will allow him to scare someone the easiest - not like shape-shifting, but something more primal that harks back to humanity's fear of what lies in the dark. 

He's still very annoyed with Beej, and at first he’s ready to go after his breather pals for simply hanging around the ghoul, but once he sees that Poopsie likes you and Lydia he immediately becomes very friendly and polite. He loves having the two of you over for snacks and to talk about art (preferably with Beej somewhere else), and he greatly admires how the two of you maintain your calm in and amongst the horrors of the neitherworld.

Most importantly, he still has the southern accent and the cowboy hat and boots.

I think Ginger, Prince Vince, and Jacques wouldn't need to change much - you’d just have to make them a lot less cartoon-y and really lean into the horror of how they’re Almost (but Not Quite) Normal.

Jacques:

A real skeleton with a sharpie-d on mustache is very funny but would also be very unnerving. You can obviously see space between the bones, and without the connections of things like tendons he should just be a pile on the floor. So it's not like how we use wire to string up a skeleton - you can see that parts of him are free floating, like the cracks of light visible between his vertebrae or that his fingers seem to hang in space.

I think adding in things like details about obvious areas of healed scars from broken bones could be cool, like where he broke his arm as a kid. Adding to his backstory we could say that maybe the reason he’s a skeleton in the afterlife instead of a normal ghost is because he died from massive hemorrhaging after so many of his bones were crushed in an accident. Now for the rest of eternity he’ll only be able to see the cracks and the scars; the blood stains and the unhealed calluses; the areas where the bones still don’t fit together quite right. He is truly terrifying to look at at first, but that really makes him sad - he’s an absolute sweetheart, and he hates that his appearance scares people so badly.

You’d also experience the horrific noise of bones shifting and cracking whenever he moves, and the fact that his voice seems to reverberate in the air around you instead of seeming to come from him since he obviously doesn't have lungs or vocal cords. 

Ginger:

I think Ginger can just be a spider, nothing to change with that one

She has very obvious "I'm venomous and will kill you" markings like most animals would have in the wild, but turned up to a 10. I think it would be interesting if her markings seem to change every time you see her, or if they shift and change when she dances!

I can’t tell if it’s creepier if she's the size of a Prius or if she's the size of an actual spider and can just rapidly climb up your body to sit on your shoulder to talk to you? Or, like her markings can change, maybe her shape can change too?

Prince Vince:

Honestly I think Prince Vince is hilarious as he is and I wouldn't really change much about him. He's not meant to be scary, he's pathetic and sad and I love him for that. 

I think the fact that when he's sad it rains could definitely be turned up in terms of the danger factor, like it summons lightning storms and flooding and all that

Having said that, the idea of a prince of hell who's just emo is VERY funny in the midst of this horror world. Like welcome to hell where everything is horrifying and it would probably drive you mad to stay there too long, oh and also the prince of hell is just a moody emo teenager who cries all the time. He looks exactly like what you'd expect of an emo / goth teenage boy and that's why he's perfect

[morticiankisser]

✨🪲🧃 s/i time ✨

🕯️moves to white river from her hometown since she’s always lived there her whole life. and the house she managed to buy is his first ever home. she also happens to be the deetz’ / the maitland’s.

🕯️kinda rewriting the second movie canon but I’ve always liked the idea of 🪲🧃’s punishment from after his waiting room scene that Juno just forced him to be bound to a living person’s house to learn to respect the laws of the living and dead again.

🕯️so he’s just been alone stewing in the house my s/i buys unable to leave the house under threat of being eaten by sandworms. plus since im basing this on my own experience my s/i has some paranomal abilities to sense ghosts but not see them unless they make themselves very known.

🕯️so obviously beetlejuice just goes absolutely nuts when he realizes a living person is cohabitating with him. scaring, touches, literally anything to get her attention. until one day he does something and she just turns around and sees him and kinda freaks out

🕯️i like to think during all that weird haunting shit bj’s doing that she also happens to get close to the deetz’ (she’s probably sensed adam and barbra but hasn’t seen them yet) especially Lydia and she’s probably told her offhand about what’s going on. so obviously since 🪲🧃 is an opportunist he tries to make a little deal with my s/i. “quid pro quo” say his name three times and he’ll get out of her hair (he’s probably also planning to marry her lets be real)

🕯️the summoning doesn’t exactly happen right away so for a while my s/I has a weird gross ghost roommate and just throughout that they kinda slowly get to know each other and bond and uh oh maybe catch feelings for each other

🕯️also also bonus as they slowly learn how to live together and get closer eventually she does summon him and he suggests the whole marrying thing to be free from his curse she agrees without even thinking about it so they are married now. (I also like to think that since he’s not bound anywhere after that he does his own thing but usually he just follows my s/i around which would lead to some funny shenanigans of him meeting the deetz’ and the maitland’s again

[c-bush]

So I have seen BeetleJuice BeetleJuice in theaters and boy was it really good. I get this movie won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but for those who were fans of the 1988 movie. I won’t give any spoilers since this came out and that would be insensitive for me to that for fans who are waiting to see this movie.

My favorite parts: BeetleJuice had a lot more screen time and development into his story. Won’t give away what happens, but if you go to see this movie you will learn more about BeetleJuice before he died. There’s also some breaking the fourth wall moments, which is one of my favorite type of acting. Similar to Deadpool, he plays to the audience and we never know what he’s going to say and when. Love the interactions between him and Lydia. While he’s still using her, he actually follows through on his deal. It shows his integrity while also being the antagonist of the film.I also love the mother/daughter development throughout the film between Lydia and Astrid. There is some strain based on the trailer alone but Lydia is trying to be a decent mother towards her when something tragic happens (won’t mention what that tragic event is due to being a major spoiler). However, we see Lydia going out of her way, becoming so far as to summon BeetleJuice in order to save her. It shows a lot of strength and bravery in her character. Despite Astrid’s and Lydia’s flaws, we see them as real people trying to cope with there struggles day in to day out.

Sandworm: Ok, I can’t help myself but the return of the sandworm was epic and was I was squealing in my seat silently as I was in a movie theater! I was so excited as I thought it was the closest we were ever going to see of the return of claymation. Personally it’s one of my top 2 favorite animation styles as it has a lot of creativity and the characters feel more intimate than other styles. Not saying other animation styles aren’t as intimate, just like Claymation. Anyway, the sandworm and the usage of it is epic as well as the Recently Deceased Book. We see the rules of the other world (death) and how the crossing overs.

So my downsides would reveal major plot points but there is one character where they manipulate the shit out of Lydia and I hated it. When BeetleJuice is a better fit for Lydia than the other guy, then it’s really bad. There is one other part that I hated but again, major plot points so won’t say that.

Anyway, that’s it for my review! If you’ve seen the movie, leave your thoughts in the comments and here will be my future movie reviews:

Which ever one you want to see first, post your vote in the poll.

Thank you for reading!

[wizisbored]

I can imagine after the wall goes down that nimona and Ballistor would be interested in visiting places, and one of the places they visit is where they run into Lydia, and Nimona can see an unsummoned Beetlejuice and is probably excited to meet someone special or weird like her. Ballistor has some reservations about it, but he'd warm up to him, once he was summoned and he could see him and Lydia explained some things.

if theyre gonna be leaving the kingdom for au purposes, im tempted to say fuck it go all the way and have them fully leave leave. nimona, ballister and ambrosius. they tried to swing it for a while, stuck around for maybe as long as a few years after it all went down, but it just wasnt working out. it's absolutely impossible for any of them to live a normal life, nimona especially - most people hail her as a hero, which is stressful in its own right, but there's also a not-insignificant number who still want 'gloreths monster' dead, and they know who she is now.

so the three of them skip town, and end up in a small town in rural conneticut. they dont plan on hiding nimona's abilities forever, but decide to lay low for a period to scope out the towns general level of weirdness-acceptance first. so they move in under the guise of a young gay couple who have gaurdianship of a teenager for unspecified reasons, and own various pets that are never seen in the same place at the same time.

it's been a while since the events of beetlejuice the musical, and beej is kinda hovering around the deetzs. lydia hasnt resummoned him and he hasnt asked her to. yet. theyre back on friendly terms, though im not sure about him and the rest of the family.

the two groups meet when charles decides to invite the new neighbours over for dinner. nimona is calling herself seventeen so she's supposedly a year or two older than lydia, and lydia thinks shes cool as shit. even though lydia isnt young enough to really trigger nimonas discomfort with small children she isnt used to interacting with kids and it takes her a bit to warm up, but lydia isnt the best at socialising with people (supposedly) her age either so they kinda fumble through it together. turns out theyve got a fair bit in common and by the end of the evening theyre getting along pretty well. goth/punk solidarity.

nimona cant neccesarily see ghosts, but she can sense them. beetlejuice isnt around for the dinner but she is far more aware of the maitlands' presence than ballister or ambrosius. she has no idea what it is, and doesnt bring it up until they're back home afterwards.

so nimona and lydia keep hanging out. a few times beetlejuice tags along, and nimona can feel him lingering around, and it feels the way a dog trying to bite a fly out of the air looks, if that makes sense. nimona stays human-shaped around lydia but there is something distinctly off about her, to lydia. maybe on some level she can sense what nimona is, but ill have to figure that out after ive considered how the magic/supernatural lore of the two medias is going to mix. she also thinks theres something odd about the various 'pets' nimona's family owns. theyre all some variation of reddish-brown, chestnut, ginger, or tan with no exception. the dog looks at least half wolf. her own cat, percy, hates theirs. she sees ballister riding a horse bareback around the edge of town sometimes, and it always feels like the horse is avoiding eye contact. and she has never seen nimona interact with any of them, or even be in the same room.

nimona finds out about the ghosts before lydia finds out about her, but it happens in quick sucession. eventually lydia is confident enough that she could ask nimona if she believes in life after death and she'd answer honestly. so she asks, and nimona - as someone who died and then got better - says yes quite confidently. so lydia pretty much spills everything, and nimona's reaction to hearing about beetlejuice is 'oh thank FUCK i can stop pretending to be human in front of you'

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

He’s not very smart.

I like to interpret half the problem being that Beetlejuice doesn’t understand how people work. He doesn’t have a good grasp of empathy. Or revenge, or human emotion at all. He tries to scam people, but falls for someone else’s scam during Creepy Old Guy. None of his plans end up working.

He’s impulsive, and gets his heart set on short sighted plans before collapsing when they fail. You’ve already covered his first plan, but all of them suck long term.

Say My Name

Stop Lydia from dying

Convince her to summon him

Profit.

This plan sort of works, but not immediately. Back to him not understanding empathy, I think it’s kinda telling that Beetlejuice immediately goes to “what kind of tasks can I offer this person” instead of playing off her emotions. A viable strategy would have also been something along the lines of “I understand how it feels to be alone, I’ve felt that forever cause I’m a spooky ghost that can’t be seen by normal human eyes. But if you just summon me, then we can make sure we’re seen tonight. Please, just give me a chance to be seen. You have the power to actually do something about it.” But that requires him to understand people’s emotions in a complicated way.

Our House Now

Take over the house

Whoooooooot yeah have fun!

This never would have gone well. Beetlejuice cannot take care of a teenager long term. Lydia always would’ve ended up with some kind of desire other than “hang out with her cool friend BJ” which Beetlejuice would’ve taken the wrong way, and ended up spiraling.

Green card Thing

Get married to Lydia

Become human

Go out on the town! Friendship! Good times!

Another terrible plan. Since Beetlejuice isn’t alive for very long, there isn’t much lore around how his powers would transfer over. If he loses his demon powers, then what’s he gonna do? He has no money, no social security, no job, no resume. He can’t function in society.

His plan is also to run away from his real issue: the relationship with his new friend. The moment things start going wrong for him, Beetlejuice makes plans to run away. He’s probably never had friendship before, ain’t that tragic?

The specifics of step one to this plan are even worse.

Good old fashioned seance

Trick Lydia into exorcising Barbara

Hold Barbara hostage for the marraige.

Get married and become alive

Go out on the town! Live the dream.

Beetlejuice probably already sees his relationship with Lydia as dead, which is why he’s willing to exploit her.

Dude is so sad. He comes up with the plan in like 5 minutes and turns to murderous rage when it doesn’t work the way he wants.

We love him for it, though.

Very random, but I got to see Beetlejuice the Musical recently and I realized Beetlejuice's original plan was always doomed to failure because it was essentially an Underpants Gnome Plot. 1) Make the Maitlands scary 2) ??? 3) Profit (A living person says his name)

Adam and Barbara could manipulate their environment. They could not make themselves seen or heard. No amount of jerky Japanese ghost walks or primal screams were going to amount to anything any living person (Lydia was an except but a poor one as Beetlejuice had no idea about her back then and also she would have loved it.) who couldn't see or hear them.

And even if they has succeeded in scaring the Deetz + Delia, how would they make them say Beetlejuice's name. How would they even communicate that? Beetlejuice keeps going in on 'Some way, somehow'. Even he doesn't know! But he's convinced giving the Deetz's the fright of their lives is the key.

And the thing is...if he's stepped away from the scaring aspect, it probably would have been so easy! Fear wouldn't work, but confusion?

Take advantage of the fact that they could touch things. Have them leave notes everywhere with Beetlejuice's name three times. Have them write it on the wall.

Let's hide their phones Screw their phones

No, BJ, USE their phones. Get your name texted out. Eventually it's going be be said, if in no other context than "Who keeps writing 'Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice' everywhere". Heck, if he's taught them possession first thing he could have them possess Charles or Delia and make them say his name. Or if it doesn't work while coerced, use the possession to ask someone else to.

Beetlejuice could totally have made the 'Get the Maitlands make the Deetzs say my name' thing work if he hadn't been married to the one methodology doomed to end in failure.

But then again, he is a very self defeating fellow.

[kael-writ]

I love Beetlejuice stories but the canon lore (for both film and musical separately) is so inconsistent (if that's the word) it bothers me when Im thinking too hard about it. Especially if you included deleted material.

I'm not gonna include the show, gotta rewatch it. I feel like the show is more loosey goosey, he's just a cartoon demon in the netherworld who can come into our world as I recall.

(CW for stuff that's in the show like suicide, parent death, and child marriage).

Beetlejuice is an expert scarer, who loves to scare, but he's mostly invisible and doesn't actually seem to get many opportunities to scare. In both the film but especially the musical.

In the musical, he needs the dead to get the living to say his name in order to be visible to the living. With the exception (as in the movie) of the strange and unusual Lydia.

In the musical he is stuck in the house, and in a demo song he's literally been there since it was a cave.

(but also is at Emily's funeral in the cemetery so...)

(... also it is a fourth wall break but he kinda knows the future, the Maitlands are gonna die)

In the movie, by contrast it says he travels and lived the Black Plague (I had a pretty good time during that!), that implies that was when he was actually alive.

In both movie and musical he calls himself a dead guy.

In the musical he also calls himself a demon straight from hell and his Mom a demon. It seems ambiguous. His mom, who is a Boss in the netherworld, is also eaten by a sand worm that "eats ghosts". Could he be half-Demon?

In the movie, btw, the realm of sandworms is referred to as "Saturn". Saturn was a god of time, and Beetlegeuse is a star (just like Beetlejuice is!), the name comes from the Arabic name for it's position in what the West calls the Orion constellation (the hand of the central one). Orion in Greek mythology was a hunter who was a pretty bad guy.

In the movie it seems Beetlegeuse has to be summoned to scare the living, and certainly he can be un-summoned. It seems like he is somehow bound to the model, when he is un-summoned he returns there until summoned.

(Again, In the musical he can't scare the living until the dead make them say his name, he's invisible. In the demo he is still able to scare people sometimes though.)

Movie Juno says he's been "sleezing around your (model) cemetery". It seems like he's chosen that place. Since he is an "illegal alien" he has come from the netherworld, but he isn't supposed to have escaped. Yet Juno doesn't even bother trying to take him back. No reason given why. Despite him having been her assistant she almost seems scared of him. She also says "and you let Beetlegeuse out, and didn't put him back."

He's actually shown in his first scene in the film as being in the dirt below the house when he sees the obituary, looking for some newly deads to trick. So it seems like he's been running this racket for a while. Juno says he caused trouble as her assistant, went out on his own, got in more trouble... aand here we are.

The nature of the afterlife is bleak and kind of mysterious. In the movie, it's run by a terrible social service department with no hint of gods or heaven/hell. Death looks different for everyone, and the Maitlands are sentenced to stay in their house for 120 years. Exorcised ghosts stay in a horrifying void.

In the musical, it's even bleaker but less mysterious. You are supposed to go to the netherworld, haunting is a fluke (like not getting your book) or rebellion. Everyone is alone in a numb void, and they wish they were still alive. There are also no gods shown, though there are references to God/Satan but no confirmation BJ knows they exist.

The marriage pact makes some sense to me as old fairytale stuff. (Like the name 3 times does. Note also the knock 3 times).

In the musical getting married to a mortal makes him come back alive, in the movie it means he can stay on Earth.

Why god why couldnt Musical Beetlejuice propose to marry Delia or even one of the dudes? Possibly because Lydia "can see him" in a way others can't, or because Delia is engaged, or maybe he just didn't really think about it. Or maybe for the same reason a real man would marry a kid, because he knows he can easily manipulate her (as he has). It's "a green card thing" and "strictly business" but acknowledged as fucked up in a way that is meant to keep Mr. Juice at least a little potentially still sympathetic as we need him to be in the realm of a musical character like him. I think the way they handled it works, personally. The song "Creepy Old Guy" really works for me because it makes me feel, well, seen. It does suck to grow up being leered at from puberty and a lot of people don't acknowledge that. I like that it mocks the presumed mentality of creepy old guys who think girls are "secretly just shy". And it all turns into a trick on him, I just think it works surprisingly well for a really difficult tightrope act there. Helps that the show asks the audience to not worry too much about analyzing if something is problematic, "I know you're woke but you can take a joke". Sometimes it's ok to be like, "yea some of the jokes are problematic but Beetlejuice isnt supposed to be a good guy who is PC." So all that, ok But STILL. It's kinda a plothole that no one considers he could marry someone who isnt lydia and is an adult, like Delia (or again in 2023 one of the guys). It's not like they don't depart from the source material, but in the movie Delia and Charles are married.

Why did Delia keep the wedding clothes for over 3 months? That seems inconsistent with her character and behavior of finding them "ugh" (love the noise she makes) and tossing everything.

It also seems dissonant to me why movie Lydia is a gothy teen who likes the boring old house.

Were the musical Maitlands locked in the attic by BJ later or choosing to stay there?

I think I would prefer a beetlejuice who isnt trapped in a house for centuries unable to be seen, I like the idea of him having more power.

How did he gain and lose power over his undeath, anyway, especially the movie one? Being able to scare so well and physically effect people and yet having to be stubborn?

Random Thoughts:

- I ship Musical Adam and BJ and that's a problematic ship bc BJ is just sexually harassing and assaulting Adam, which is supposed to make it less bad that he does it to Babs I guess? I frankly did laugh about his behavior in this regard, and I acknowledge some people would be rightfully upset about it, I get like that with those jokes too, not sure why it works for me and Im not a paragon of virtue.

- Honestly part of why villains like BJ are compelling is because we all can have a bit of villain in us, as BJ tells the Maitlands. Im kinda a huge goody two shoes but Ive also been drawn to Bad Boys and shit.

- Musical BJ (lol BJ tho) is a story about toxic relationships. He's so lonely and needy and he will hurt anyone who rejects him even a little. And when people like me have been in toxic relationships, we liked and loved that person. Fantasies are not always virtuous or portraying smart decisions, often they're not. I don't actually think murder is good, but I like action movies and violent video games. It has to be done the right way for me, but I can enjoy the character of Beetlejuice the way I can enjoy the Always Sunny gang when in real life they would be condemned.

- Beetle has not been laid in 600 years. That means he got laid after his death.

- BJ being a civil servant implies suicide. There were some early drafts specifying this, but it's unknown in the film.

- I really love the "power of names" theme a lot.

- There's something about the jokes - a lot of them could be called "not funny" in both the sense that they're cliche/cheesy/corny, lowbrow, and also often offensive but I, we, enjoy it so much. I think it has a lot to do with the delivery.

- the larger than life cartoony clownishness of it, which made it such a natural for both a kid's show (with obvious changes needed) and musical, is just so delightful to me. The very hammy performances, chef's kiss. And BJ breaking the fourth wall in the musical is awesome and provides awesome audience interaction which is so great in theater.

- the teenagerness of Lydia, especially in the musical, is great. It's great that she can be "I was an asshole - no, you were a teenager" as the demo says. Scaring people with a demon, for example.

- the anti-suicide messages get me every time as someone who had chronic suicide ideation and attempts for decades. Death doesn't make it any easier. No, you'll just be dead. It might not have reached me at the time because I just wanted to end the pain and not exist but in retrospect Im nodding along and tearing up.

- The addition of the Dead Mom in the musical is great and genuinely made me cry. I like movie Lydia as a mostly dark comedy (imo) character but musical Lydia is so emotionally compelling.

- I am a movie Delia apologist, her art is good and she's a fun decent person.

I could probably go on but dude this is soooo long. Id also interested to see what others found inconsistent or confusing or whatever. And other thoughts and stuff you disagree with respectfully.

[obsessive-ego]

Trust me baby♡

Part 2

Part 1

Nsft musical Beetlejuice x reader

They/them pronouns are used, reader has a vigina

You weren't mad at him exactly, just embarrassed and more then a little annoyed.

Recently you had spent the night at the deetzlands after an evening of babysitting, in all honesty you were there to watch Beetlejuice rather then Lydia, mostly to make sure the house stays in one peice.

But that night Beetlejuice, lack there of a better word, tricked you, into proving you and him are in fact an item and have been "knocking hips" for a while.

Beetlejuice had begged you into sleeping in his 'room' where he convinced you to fuck since no one can hear the two of you in the basement, he lied, through the vents of the house Delia and Charles herd everything, you've never felt so embarrassed in your entire life, you wanted the floor to open up and swallow you whole. But Beetlejuice? He was proud of what he did, gloating about how he's not a liar this time, and how the house owes him an apology.

...

Returning home after that awful morning you wanted nothing more than to crawl in bed and dissappear, never wanting to think about this again. Before you could even get your shoes off your phone buzzes, pulling it from your pocket you seem what's up

A text from Beetlejuice

"Summon me" was all it read, right to the point, you honestly didn't want to, you were still upset with him, it's not like he's in the netherworld he can stay with the deetz alittle longer, kind of like a punishment

Your phone buzzes again

"Say my name!" It read

You frown, the ghost had no patience.

Finally removing your shoes and coat and flop down on the couch, laying on your back, your phone continues to buzz, you groan knowing full well beej was not going to stop.

Not bothering to check his latest text you simply say his name, 3 times, and quickly.

In a puff of green smoke he was there, floating in front of you

"Honey I'm home♡" he coos making his way over to you "making a fella wait, aren't you a cheeky thing♡ but I'll let it slide babes, since you're just waiting for me to jump ya on the couch" her purs loosening his tie, his hair shifting from green to magenta

"No" you say flatly

"Daddy needs a- wait, no?" He stops in his tracks and you sit up

"You lied to me"

"Come on sweets, it was for a good reason" Beetlejuice joins you on the couch, slinging an arm around your shoulder

"I know you're a proud guy, but what we do in the bedroom-"

"Or on the floor, on the table, against the wall-oof"

You elbow him in the gut "Lawrence I'm not joking, what we do, is our business, can you promise me that at least?" You pleaded

Beetlejuice stares at you first a moment before snorting out a laugh "alright babes, ya twisted my arm, no more bragging" he pulls you into a tight side hug, and you sigh in relief, you didn't think he'd agree so quickly, you thought he'd whine or beg or something, but maybe he's finally growing as a person or demon

...

The evening was spent the regular way, bad horror movies and jokes, when it was finally time to turn in Beetlejuice vanished from the living room, you didn't really question it, making it to your room you see where he went.

Beetlejuice was laying on your bed, completely naked, his hair, moss and mold glowing a mix of soft pink and magenta

"Come to daddy sweet stuff♡" he motioned for you to come closer, your body went ridged for a second before moving on its own towards the ghoul.

"Beej-"

"Mmm?" He hums eyeing you up and down

"I don't want to have sex tonight" you say flatly, you were still a little sore about yesterday

"I-" he bites his lip, beetlejuice was hoping you'd be over his little 'mistake' and be ready to fool around again "well- if ya change your mind in the middle of the night you know it doesn't take much to get me up, or wake me" he snorts, and with a snap of his fingers a pair a black and white stripped boxers appear to cover his junk.

You crawl in bed next to him, beetlejuice was hesitant to pull you close until you nuzzled into his chest, with that he wraps his arms around you and tangles his legs with yours.

"Night sweet stuff"

"Goodnight bee" you yawn

...

The following morning you head to work, giving beej, to his disappointment, a rather quick goodbye kiss.

In all honesty the demon would rather you be furious with him than this toned down level of affection, it took months to get you in his pocket and now, it's like he's back to square one. Green fades from the demon's hair only to be replaced by purple, he grumbles to himself about how this whole thing was his fault as he lays on the floor. Normally during this time Beetlejuice would be off scaring your neighbors or digging around you stuff for a quick lust filled fix, but not today, he felt too bad, the ghoul wasn't used to feeling things for others, let alone feeling bad for his own actions, he didn't know what to do with himself other then just lay there and mope.

Hours pass with your demon doing nothing but laying on the floor, at this point his tie, and suit now matched the deep purple of his hair, but his moping was finally cut when his phone started buzzing. In a flash the ghoul sits up and eagerly begins digging through his jacket, pulling out the phone and seeing your name, it was a text

"Hey, Charles called me asking to watch Lydia again tonight, I'll be heading there after work, I'll summon you when I get there" it read

This was perfect, the purple quickly left Beetlejuice's form in favour of an electric green, practically glowing with excitement.

There's no way you'll continue holding back from him after the two of you have a good time together, he and Lydia can scare the piss out of some stupid breathers, that'll make you laugh, and you'll forget all about his little 'mistake', you'll be swapping spit and knocking hips with him in no time.

"Cant wait <3" he types back, beetlejuice only had this gadget for a few days and he's already getting the hang of it, after hours of Lydia teaching him how to text, and the kid nearly losing her temper with him, the ghoul now considered himself a pro.

...

The evening at the deetz went as well as Beetlejuice planned, Lydia played right into his hand, not that it took much convincing for the opportunity to scare some breathers. Better take put drivers and mailman, beetlejuice had you laughing so hard no sound was coming out, it was perfect, he was practically glowing, you'll be back in his pants in no time.

As the night goes on Lydia bids the two of you goodnight and heads up stairs to her room, with the kid gone beej takes the opportunity to 'seduce' you.

The two of you are sitting on the couch watching nothing really notable, beetlejuice slides in close to you slinging an arm around your shoulder

"So now that the kid is in bed, how's bout the babysitter sits on my baby maker?" He purrs leaning into your face

You snort out a laugh and give his a playful shove

"Don't be gross bee"

"Come on sweet stuff, you love my baby batter♡" he jokes pulling you into an embrace and pushing you down on the couch

"Knock it off Beej" you laugh as the ghoul continues with the gross names for his dick and cum

"Come on sweets, I just want to bury my meat in your penis fly trap♡" he coos as he lifts your legs around his waist

You were pinned beneath him on the couch, his hands on your thighs and your legs around his waist

"I missed this babes♡" he whispers

"Beej it's been 2 days"

"Time works different when you're dead" he shrugs

"Well I'm sorry, but after last time, we're not-"

"I know, I know, a line was crossed, ect ect" he waves off

"Yeah..." you yawn

"Aw babes, am i boring you?" Beetlejuice snickers

"I've been up since 6am, Mr I don't have a job"

"That's not a no" he chuckles grinding his hips against yours

You suppress a moan, and shove him off

"I think I'm gonna head to bed" you yawn again

The ghouls eyes light up and in a flash he's pulling you off the couch and leading you to his 'room' in the basement

"After you baby cakes" the ghoul opens the basement door and gestures you to enter, you give him an odd look before heading door stairs.

"I hate to see you go, but man, do I love to watch you leave" he whispers to himself, his eyes fixated on your bum as you walk down into the basement. Beetlejuice waited for you to be out of sight before he removed his tie and hung it on the outside of the basement door, closing it behind him as he followed you.

...

His room was just as the two of you left it, the same mattress on the floor, the same blankets and pillows haphazardly tossed about, the same Christmas lights hung around the bed for 'mood lighting' its only been 2 days, why would anything be different?

"Make yourself comfortable" Beetlejuice's gravely voice blows through you ears and a shiver runs up your spine

Said demon had already made himself 'at home' as he lays on the bed infront of you in nothing but a pair of boxers motioning you to come hither.

You chuckle "I forgot my pajamas upstairs-"

"You don't need em♡"

You pause for a second, thrown off by his response, normally Beetlejuice would magic them on you

"Not tonight" you say simply as you begin to head back up the stairs

"NO! I mean, noooo, I got ya covered" and with a snap of his fingers your clothes were replaced with an over sized tee shirt and a pair of loose fitting boxers

You make your way to the bed and lay down next to beej.

The both of you getting under the covers and getting cozy, beetlejuice spared no time pulling you into him, your legs tagged with his, your head resting on his soft chest, and his hands resting on your back.

This was nice, as sore as you were for beej broadcasting your sex life to others, you didn't like being mad at him, and pulling back on the physical affection as punishment was becoming a tad depressing for you, you've grown too accustomed to his touch.

This softness was short lived

"Knock it off bee" you grumble as you feel the ghoul cup and squeeze your bum

"Come on sweets♡" he purrs pulling you close "I promise to be quite, Chuck and Delia aren't even home-"

"Fool me once"

"We can just do hand stuff?" He pushes

"Not tonight"

"Come on babes, how bout some tonsil hockey at least?" He whines, beetlejuice was desperate for your physical touch, it's been too long since the two of you been intimate in bed together and he was at his wits end, the ghoul had become so used to your warm affection it was like a drug to him.

"Okay, just kissing" you sigh pulling yourself up to the ghoul's face

Beetlejuice wasted no time cupping the back of your head and slamming his lips into yours, pushing his tongue into your mouth.

His tongue was long and cold and very eager to push around your mouth, you muffle out soft sound as his hands find a home on your bum.

You pull away gasping for air, you push off beej, now straddling him, you flinch at the familiar bump grinding against your ass

"Lawrence, I said just kissing tonight"

"I know♡" he purrs, hus hands  now moving to your arms, gently rubbing up and down

You knew that tone, in a flash Beetlejuice had  switch places with you, him now pinning you to the mattress

"Bee-" you sputter surprised

Beetlejuice doesn't respond, instead his gives your lips a quick peck before slipping beneath the covers and heading south

"No" you groan, if the two of you were home this would have been welcomed, but you weren't, and you were too self conscious to play this game again

You reach in after him and grab a fist full of his hair, giving it a light tug

He moans in response

You tug again, alittle harder this time

He moans again

A third time you pull and the noise that follows wasn't something you could describe, pulling the contents of your hand into view you see you have pulled off the demon's scalp, magneta hair, skin, his equivalent to blood,  you flinch at the sight, for a moment forgetting he's dead,

"Beetlejuice I know you think you're being funny but- ah♡" your words were cut in your throat as Beetlejuice had reach his goal, you quickly slap a hand over your mouth to muffled the sounds as the demon shoved his tongue in your most sensitive area

I guess this still counts as kissing

"Bee" you whine through your fingers

"You need to be quiet, remember♡?" His voice rings clearly through your ears

Beetlejuice eagerly lapped at your pussy, his long cold tongue explored your vagina, while his nose clumsily bumped against your clituris.

"You taste so good babes" he growls, his voice was clear as a bell even though his mouth was busy

"Lawrence♡" You sigh through your hands

Beetlejuice slowly removes his tongue from your opening, you whine in protest, but in a split second you nearly shriek out, his mouth had moved to your vaginal entrance and was now licking and sucking on your clituris, the man could play you like a fiddle.

As you lay there, toes curling, one hand grabbing at the sheets, the other over your mouth muffling your moans, Beej's hand emerges from the covers to grab his scalp you took from him moments earlier, grabbing said scalp, it retracting back beneath the blankets, out of sight.

Beetlejuice's tongue swirled around the clit, while two fingers inger probes your entrance, the demon could tell you were almost at your limit by the way your hips bucked and how your legs twitched. Please with his doings he decided to push his luck

"You close?" He teased, removing his mouth from you and stopping his touch

"Yes" you whisper

"Are you still upset?♡"

"No" you whine desperate to finish

"When we get home can we-"

"Yes, whatever you want, please just-" you cry, you had a rough day, and honestly this was too good to leave undone

"Whoa babes♡ I'll hold ya to it" Beetlejuice chuckles before diving back in and sucking your clit and teasing your entrance

A muffled whine and a rough bucking from your hips, not to mention a mouth full of your juices, was enough to signal, you finished.

Beetlejuice crawled back up out of the covers, his hair slowly fading from magenta back to a mix of pink and green, he gives you a smug grin.

You take a second to come back from your sexual high, after a few deep breaths you Address him

"What about you?" You breath out

Such a simple question nearly got the demon's heart pumping

"Don't ya be fretting bout little ol me, you can thank me later♡" he winks giving you a little nudge before pulling you in his arms, you rest your head on his chest

"Night babes"

"Good night Lawrence... if tomorrow I go upstairs and anyone in the house herd us, I'm banishing you for a week" you mumble before dozing off

Beetlejuice chuckles "trust me babes, not this time"

[subukunojess]

Beetlejuice

I forgot which meme for this was, so I’m going to have to make an educated guess:

Beetlejuice:

First impression- As a character? Well it depends. Most likely, the first version of Beej I ever saw was the film version. Since I was young at the time, I kind of had vague memories, but I felt about him “sorta cool and funny but a creep” Since the dvd I had at the time came with at least one episode of the BeetleJuice cartoon, I liked Cartoon BJ a lot more.

Impression now- The musical version has really inspired me and made me appreciate him more. The creativity on display gives me inspiration for some of my work and it gives me hope that there might be something new and interesting with him in the future.

Favorite moment- Out of all three main media, a tie between him getting summoned by Lydia in the musical and That Beautiful Sound. Just how demonic and creative and crazy something could be in an instant fascinates me!

Idea for a story- I have a few stories already as wips. Some are Beej and Lydia friendship oneshots, world building pieces with demons, AUs, and Emily Deetz content

Unpopular opinion- I don’t think I have any unpopular opinion per say? Maybe that I do not want a sequel and would prefer a series reboot that’s good please?

Favorite relationship- I’m mainly a Beetlands fan and a Beetlejuice/OC fan, but in certain AUs, I also like BJ/Emily or BJ/Charles/Emily. Again, not in canon, but it’s nice to see sometimes

Favorite headcanon- One of the headcanons that I certainly notice with who I talk with, I like the idea of Beetlejuice being a semi-aware himbo if it makes sense? Like even though he has his flaws and moments, there are times where he just “knows” someone’s likes/what they need, etc. and either does something indirectly or he just doesn’t react and accepts it for what it is. Now if it directly involves him, that’s a different story.

[musical-shit-show]

Two Sides: Chapter 5

Previous Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4)

Characters: Musical!Beetlejuice, Female!OC, Lydia Deetz, Barbara Maitland, Adam Maitland

Warnings: anxiety, awkward attempts at flirting, panic attacks, cursing, a little bit of angst if you squint

Word Count: 1,930

Author’s Note: Been on a writing kick so I figured I’d post Chapter 5! Not much to say about this chapter, just some good old fashioned character development a.k.a. Beej being a pissbaby and Cassandra being an anxiety factory. Please check out my Masterlist here and my About Me page. Enjoy!

Chapter 5

Both Cassandra and Beetlejuice called after the dark-haired girl, but she had already shut the door with a forceful yank. Causing mischief was something Lydia had perfected from spending a lot of time with Beetlejuice, and while she didn’t want to admit it, she was sort of glad her roommate had brought him back. Life without her undead companion was almost getting too normal for her liking.

She knew that this day was already turning out to be a lot to handle for Cassandra, but Lydia tried not to beat herself up about how everyone had been introduced. Nothing ever went according to plan in the Deetz/Maitland household, so it was just as well that the day had already erupted into total chaos. Still, Lydia hoped that her roommate would roll with the punches and make it through the weekend relativity unscathed.

After Lydia shut the door, Beetlejuice’s demeanor changed almost instantly. He leaned casually on the end of Cassandra’s wooden bed frame, his eyes scanning her, an impish glint in his eye. His green hair was now mixed with pale yellow and light pink colorations.

“So....does your hair always do that…?” Cassandra asked awkwardly, attempting to make some semblance of a conversation. The air in the room was still unbelievably tense, even after Lydia had properly introduced the two of them. A smug look flashed across the demon’s face.

“My hair’s sorta like a mood ring,” he said matter-of-factly, picking at the dead skin around his fingernails, “This shade of yellow means that I’m curious about ya. Pretty cool, huh?” He secretly wanted to impress her, and he thought the nonchalant act would do just the trick.

“And what does pink mean?” Cassandra asked, enthralled by the swirl of hues that now adorned his head.

“That I think you’re hot, babes,” he said, raising an eyebrow. He gave her another once over as Cassandra held back an uncomfortable laugh, taken aback at how forward he was.

“Oh, I’m sure you say that to all the girls you manhandle after they unwittingly unleash you into the mortal realm,” she said casually, doing her best to hide her discomfort with him. She did not take getting hit on well by living men, let alone men that had been dead for probably decades. Beetlejuice raised his eyebrows, wrongly suspecting that she was flirting back.

“What, are ya talking about that kiss?” he said innocently, his stocky frame inching closer to her, “Look, new girl, that was just a gesture of appreciation. You should be flattered.” Cassandra rolled her eyes, frustrated with the demon’s lack of self-awareness.

“Okay, first off, my name is Cassandra,” she said childishly, “Second, I’m not flattered by you fucking with me. The last hour of my life has been insane, and I really don’t need your help making it any crazier.” Beetlejuice felt the venom in her tone, but soldiered on until she cracked. Breathers like her always did, and he knew she was just putting on a front to seem tougher than she really was.

“Listen, babes, you gotta relax a little. Take a walk on the undead side,” he purred, “Why don’t I show ya—?” He stopped her pacing and grabbed her waist. Cassandra let out a small yelp of anger, pushing him away and plopping onto the bed. The comforter was now decidedly dirtier since the demon had laid on it, but she didn’t care. Hot tears of infuriation filled her eyes.

“Look, the last thing I want to do is get down and dirty with some dead guy that just appeared in my room and has been messing with me from the second I got here,” she said, in a quiet but sharp tone, “So please, for the love of all that is good and decent, could you, just, leave?” Instantly the pink and yellow swirls in his hair were mixed with a deep red and blue. Beetlejuice stared angrily at the floor, not used to being shot down so pointedly. This kind of rejection brought up emotions he wasn’t quite keen on revisiting, but he was too prideful to admit he had gone too far.

“Fine,” he muttered, not bothering to make eye contact with the already irked woman, “You’re not my type anyways, sweetheart. Guess I didn’t know Lydia had such a stuck up, goody-two-shoes breather for a roommate. See ya around, new girl.” With that he vanished from the room, a tiny *pop* emanating from the spot where he stood.

Cassandra let out another angry cry, overwhelmed with the day’s events. She understood where Lydia coming from, leaving the two of them together to get better acquainted. After all she was right: Cassandra was the one that stupidly summoned him. But it clearly didn’t occur to her that Beetlejuice would go back to his old self faster than lightning, making Cassandra incredibly uneasy in the process. A few moments later, a soft knock on the door broke her out of her emotional spiraling.

“Cassandra? It’s Barbara,” the blonde woman said softly, a tiny crack between the door and its frame forming, “Everything okay?” Cassandra quickly wiped away a small tear and cleared her throat.

“Uh, yeah, yeah everything is fine,” she said unconvincingly. Barbara took that as an invitation to open up the door fully and enter the guest room, Adam following quietly behind her. “I just, uh, met another dead person in this house. The guy who looks homeless and smells like a sewer.”

“Beetlejuice,” the couple deadpanned in tandem. Adam groaned in slight frustration, rubbing the back of his neck at the thought of the raucous demon back in his former home.

“Of course, of course he would be back here,” he said as Barbara rubbed his shoulders, attempting to relax him, “After we had just cleaned up from his last mess...did Lydia summon him?” Adam’s expression softened when he saw the guilt on Cassandra’s face. She had just met these people and had now accidentally freed an entity they clearly didn’t have much fondness for.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—” Cassandra let a few frustrated tears fall from her eyes, not able to even look up at the couple. Barbara sat down next to her on the bed, placing her hand on top of Cassandra’s. The living woman felt no sensation of being touched, but appreciated the gesture of comfort.

“It’s okay, honey,” Barbara said genuinely, her kind face illuminating the gloomy air in the room, “We aren’t upset with you, right Adam?” The woman nudged her husband quite forcefully, catching him slightly off-guard.

“No, no of course not,” Adam added, chuckling slightly, “It’s just, Beetlejuice can sometimes be...well, a handful.”

“Really?” Cassandra sniffed, drying her tears, “I hadn’t noticed.” The three of them cracked small smiles, slightly easing the disquieting air that hung in the room, “Is he always such a dick?” Barbara and Adam looked at each other, silently confirming the living woman’s question. Cassandra sighed. Not two hours into being in this house, and she had met three dead people and had already pissed off the most irritating of them all.

The Maitlands were at least acting civil towards her, even treating her with kindness. But there was something about Beetlejuice that made Cassandra’s temperature rise. The condescending smirk, the overzealous grabbiness, the complete unawareness of social cues...it all added up to a huge pain in the ass that she was going to have to deal with for the entire weekend.

‘You have to be nice,’ Cassandra thought, ‘For Lydia. He’s best friends with Lydia, and you need to be nice. Just for the weekend. And then you’ll never have to see that creep again.’ “Try and stick it out, just for a few days,” Barbara said sweetly, “He really isn’t that bad when you get to know him.” Adam smiled unconvincingly, doing nothing to quell Cassandra’s discomfort.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right,” she said, smiling as genuinely as she could muster, “I still have a little more settling in to do, but I’ll see you guys downstairs soon, okay?” The two ghosts nodded and disappeared in a flash, leaving the living woman alone once again. Cassandra closed her eyes yet again, finding it easier to process the events that had transpired since she had entered the house. She just had to accept that this was what Lydia’s world was like, even though she had no idea it existed.

She couldn’t blame Lydia for not telling her all these years, but she was still shocked to know that her best friend and roommate had successfully kept this from her for so long. A wave of emotions crashed down on her: hurt, anger, confusion, curiosity, excitement even. How was she supposed to make it through the rest of this trip without feeling like a mental patient? She felt a tightness in her chest, a telltale sign her anxiety had taken hold of her psyche.

Beetlejuice materialized in the room only seconds after the Maitlands vanished, watching her intently. Now he was intentionally making his presence unknown so he could further survey the damage without causing another scene. His hair was now a swirl of purple and red, creating a sea of maroon locks that adorned his head. He watched as Cassandra steadied her breathing and closed her eyes, attempting to gain her composure. She let a few stress-induced tears escape from her eyes but quickly brushed them away, as she shook her head and moved to unzip her duffel bag. Beetlejuice felt a twinge of guilt, a blue streak reappearing in his hair. He hadn’t met anyone new since he infiltrated the Maitlands’ home all those years ago, and the prospect of fresh meat to torment was too difficult to pass up. He feared he had gone too far, but those thoughts were replaced by annoyance and disdain.

‘Who does this breather think she is?’ he thought angrily, stewing in the corner of the room, still eyeing Cassandra as she methodically placed her clothes in an empty dresser, ‘Since when did Lydia get a new best friend? And how could that best friend possibly be a bigger mess than I am?!’

In all of his years as a bio-exorcist, Beetlejuice had never been turned down by a human so abruptly. Well, other than Lydia of course, but that was a different situation entirely. When it came to consenting adult breathers, Beetlejuice had them on their backs in no time. At their core, he knew that they loved the idea of breaking the rules, and getting pleasured by a demon was about the most sinful thing imaginable.

But this one? This trembling, crying, self-conscious mess that stood before him? She had made it very clear she wanted nothing to do with him, try as he might to be as friendly as he possibly could with her, though his definition of friendly was certainly more abrasive and forward than the average person’s, living or dead.

And the thought that this was the person Lydia was now spending all of her time with and not goofing off with him? Well, that only damaged Beetlejuice’s bruised ego even more. What made her so goddamn special?

Beetlejuice could feel himself growing more and more contemptuous towards Cassandra, but decided to at least attempt to be civil towards her, for Lydia’s sake. He was her best friend after all, and he wasn’t going to let this annoying breather change that over the course of one weekend.

Of course, that didn’t mean he couldn’t have a little fun when Lyds wasn’t around...

~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! Please like/comment/reblog and feel free to drop an ask for any requests/feedback! 

[petalsonfacesnovinesthough]

The joke that works... when you think about it

So, who here knows the joke about "Say My Name" from "Beetlejuice: The Musical! The Musical! The Musical!"? The one where Beej should start a suicide hotline, because he manages to talk Lydia out of throwing herself off the roof? That one. Well, I'm about to possibly ruin/make it better, by explaining it!

Let's start with the context before the song. Lydia Deetz feels like she's invisible to the world. She's been grieving the death of her mother, yet her dad, Charles, has been pushing her to move on in a snap, to the point of not letting Lydia even mention her. Plus, she just found out her dad just proposed to the life coach he hired to help Lydia move on, Delia. Feeling even more powerless than before, she writes up a suicide note and heads up to the roof of her house, preparing to impale herself on the birdbath. Well, she wasn't alone on the roof, because Betelgeuse was up there, feeling invisible too. After he comments on her suicide note, much like with The Maitlands, it turns out Lydia can see him. Thus, he asks that she say his name, transitioning into the song.

At first, he tries to give himself as an alternate solution. Nothing will really change if she dies, so why doesn't she summon him and let him deal with her dad. Lydia declines, stating she doesn't even know Betelgeuse's name, so how could she say it? After a real game of charades, not what happened in the film, we get the second part of the song, where Lydia takes hold of the melody, stating "You could probably help, but I still feel the only way to stop my dad is to die", faking BJ out 3 times until she states that yes, she wants to join Adam, Barbara, and her mom, but she's not crazy enough to free the demon she met on her roof.

Cue the Maitlands, who came up to the roof to make sure Lydia's alright, seeing as they were there when Lydia said she was better off dead. Recognizing the Ghost with The Most, they almost immediately move to get Lydia away from him. Then, he possesses them, which probably works since he's a demon, and the Maitlands used to be alive. After their little "show" BJ fully presents the concept of possession and states how every ghost can do it; no teaching required.

Then, Lydia gives Betelgeuse a hard fall, seeing as he gave a bit too much information. After all, if any ghost can possess people, why bother with him when the Maitlands can do it too. Thus, we lead into the final part of the song. Lydia's plans of suicide have been thrown away, her now fully on track to ruin her dad's dinner party. And, even after this song, she doesn't go back to it. When Maxie ends up investing in the house because it's haunted, Lydia's last-ditch effort isn't to threaten suicide again; it's to summon Betelgeuse to deal with everyone. And she doesn't try killing herself the rest of the show.

I mean, technically, her impromptu trip to The Netherworld might count, but she didn't stay there, so I'm not counting it.

TL;DR, People joke about Betegeuse talking Lydia out of suicide. They're more right than they think.

[la5t-res0rt]

Wanted to ask about beetlelyds, sorry, I thought it was technically cannon? Like in the old comics after the show ended she grew up and married him. Sorry I’m an old school fan and have no idea why this whole thing is such a big deal. Wasn’t the actor like 20 too? I’m sorry if I sound very dumb. I’m not used to this new tumblr.

youre fine you are one hundred percent allowed to especially when you do it civilly as you have done here

first of all the biggest issue faced in the whole what is and is not canon debate is the fact that there are three (four if you count the limited comics run) publicized iterations of my media

i will go over each very briefly just kidding this is going to a long answer so i will spare the dashboard with a readmore

there is the movie which im sure you dont need me to explain the plot since youre an old school fan but basically the climax is that yes beetlejuice does go for the marriage angle in exchange for stopping the exorcism of adam and barbara and his motive for this is so that he can cause as much chaos as he wants on the mortal coil but his plan is thwarted when barbara rides a sandworm into the house which promptly eats beetlejuice sending him to bureaucratic death limbo

the end of the movie features the deetz and the maitlands happily living together with lydia havign a new appreciation for her situation and beetlejuice gets his head made real small which is very funny haha 

so no in the movie they are not canon editors note the actress who played lydia winona ryder was a teenager while filming the movie she turned 17 the year it released 

the next is the cartoon which i will admit has the most grounds for being considered canon but in the end the show is about a middle schooler and her best friend who is a ghost which in itself is a pretty iffy gray area sort of thing but for a childrens cartoon to work a friendship is better than the obvious enemy status they held in the movie

anyway in the cartoon they are potrayed to be very close friends with lydia being the person beetlejuice cares about the most and honestly if you were to watch it with no prior knowledge of the media and if you ignored their massive and obvious age difference than yeah you probably would read it as a romantic relationship 

however lydia is a middle schooler and that is simply immoral

there have been writers for the cartoon who have been credited to say that a relationship is what they were trying to invoke but for obvious reasons they couldnt exactly move forward with that angle with them establishing that lydia is a child in middle school and a fully grown adult man dating a child who is in middle school is immoral and also illegal in the united states and in canada 

this isnt a good argument for whether or not something is canon and i will tell you why with one simple name and that is luke weber

if you dont know who luke weber is he was a storyboard artist on the cartoon steven universe he is known for making a lot of self ship artwork of him and the character pearl

he worked on the show isnt his material canon no of course it isnt it wasnt put in the actual publication and also if memory serves he was eventually asked to leave the project after he drew art of the shows creator giving him permission to date pearl and calling them her otp and a lot of fans hated this because the most generally accepted interpretation of pearls character is that she is sapphic so a lot of people took issue however that again is just a widely perceived headcanon it is never stated what her actual sexuality is no one in that show is because it isnt a show about that its about wait im getting off topic sorry

what im saying is what can truly be considered canon is what you see on the screen and with the cartoon they are definitely the most friendly with each other and that is why so many people in the beetlebabe shipping community take so much stock in the cartoon because it is the easiest to read the relationship between the mas romantic although that is not what the show actually provides in black and white terms

interpretation does not equal canon and in this case no matter what anyone says the fact remains that in the cartoon itself they are friends good friends yes but friends all the same

it is definitely not a show about a grown man grooming an adult and if it were you definitely shouldn’t be stanning it the extreme because grooming a minor is wrong and it is apparently a problem in the fandom

anyway if the cartoon and the movie are both products of their time and there was more leniency on content bear in mind this was the same era as notorious animation powerhouse and known predator john k who was a showrunner on ren and stimpy and he maintained a relationship with a teenager which was an open secret that nobody really took issue with because in that time being a woman in the animation industry was tricky business and your career could be ended easily if you rejected advances luckily time has moved forward and the animation industry although still full of problems of a similar nature at least people are getting called out and punished for it

you can look more into that yourself its really upsetting though

as for comics i havent been able to find good scans of them and im not willing to purchase them but in my search i never found anything about the two of them ever being married in the cartoon again because she is a child i did find a cover where he appears to be getting married and hes asking lydia to get him out of it but im not sure where the comic actually goes all i know is she is standing off to the side shrugging and looking like she doesnt really care

anyway that brings us to the musical which is set in the modern day 

in the original libretto lydia is described as thirteen but since they got an actress who was older in the updated librettos she is listed as 15 and the story is pretty similar to the movie the young girl befriends ghosts and they try to scare her family out etc etc

the major difference between the film and the musical are that lydia and beetlejuice are more like friends like in the cartoon 

she summons him to help scare after the maitlands attempt doesnt really work so he shows up and they have fun terrorizing people together however she drops him for the opportunity to perhaps get her mom back but when no one will help she goes back to beetlejuice who tricks her into almost exorcising barbara

she agrees to marry him in order to stop the exorcism and he only wants to get married so he can be alive again and cause problems on the mortal coil like in the movie in the musical he states several times its a green card thing whihc obviously doesnt make it okay but still

anyway lydia tricks him and runs off into the underworld before the wedding can happen blah blah blah she goes back blah blah and she agrees to go through with the wedding to save her friends and family with a plan to make him go away for good

theres a very tongue and cheek song called creepy old guy which points out how wrong the whole thing is but everyone is going along with it in a very comedic matter and it includes the line 

i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright

basically saying yeah this is very very wrong anyway they do get married and beeltjeuice is alive for like 6 seconds before lydia stabs him to death with bad art and he dies thus nullifying the marriage because death do you part etc

so in the musical no at the end of the show they are not canon because he is dead their marriage is nullified and they go their separate ways

anyway sorry about that i just need to make it very clear that these three properties are all very distinct from each other and basically all three are indeed canon since they are publicized material and arguing the validity of which one is pointless editors note all actresses who played with the exception of dana steingold were minors for the majority of their runs as lydia with sophia ann caruso the originator of the role turning 18 during the run and dana being in her late twenties presley ryan however was a minor the whole time and still is one

tldr no they aren’t canon but to the credit of some people in this fandom their interpretation isnt too far of a stretch thanks to the era and some of the writers wishing to imply a relationship between an adult and a child

i also need to address how this is all a big deal and i suggest you take a peak through my discourse tag and check out @leedia‘s blog to see some of the more harmful things done by beetlebabe shippers

the beetlejuice fandom is home to many minors after the musical came out since musical fandom is vast and the ages of its members varies and normalizing pedophilia is harmful to them not to mention the people who have been effected by sexual harassment at the hands of adults

both sides have victims of csa but one side continues to perpetuate the cycle by showing time and time again that this behavior is normal and easily romanticized in the name of coping and literally anyone who has ever been to a good and credible therapist could tell you that posting cp even if it is simulated cp isnt a really good way to cope and you can get mad at me for saying that its totally fine but and im going to remove my character veil here for just a second as a csa survivor myself i think its harmful to not only myself but many others ok the veil is back down

tldr again there is a lot of bullying and harassment going on with both sides having their own issues but there is one side whos issues run a bit deeper in my humble opinion 

thank you for your question it allowed me to talk a lot you are welcome to discuss further with me in dms if you wish i honestly recommend giving the musical a listen because it is very fun and despite what some people say its very clever and if you get a chance to see a boot of it its visually stunning

one last note that i couldnt really fit in here but a large portion of the beetlebabes shipping community ignore the musical because it openly condemns the idea of beeltejuice and lydia having a relationship and a lot of the antis take issue with much of the writing and characterizations of the cartoon just a note that i think is important since were talking about canon

[demonwifey]

Lost Time

Hey guys, so this is my first story being put up on my Beetlejuice blog. It’s waaayyy longer than what I expected to write but I hope you guys enjoy it either way! I actually got this prompt from  @scrawl-your-heart-out 

Prompt: “Have you ever kissed anyone?” “No” They kissed them. “Well,” they said smiling, “Now you have”

word count: 3,335

Warnings: Cursing 

Hope you guys enjoy!

It was another Saturday night at Y/N’s apartment. Her friends made plans to go out earlier in the week but everything inevitably got cancelled after her best friend came down with a bad case of the stomach flu. Y/N called her friend and asked if she needed her to come over. 

“No, just stay home. The last thing I want is to give it to you guys and then we all are sick.” Which was immediately followed by the sound of her vomiting harshly through the phone speaker. With that, Y/N cringed at the noise but knew there was no point in trying to argue. 

Despite the turn of events, Y/N wouldn’t be alone. For the past few months she found her apartment to be accompanied by the striped-suit-wearing demon named Beetlejuice. Even though she hoped for her friend’s better health, a small part of her was happy that she was free for the night. And she knew the dead man would be excited as well. Especially when they used to hang out almost on a regular basis. The self-proclaimed “Ghost with the Most” came into her life after she met Delia and Charles Deetz at her college’s job fair.

***

Charles was there working at a booth with the business department and giving info to students about his real estate work. It didn’t really interest Y/N too much as she was studying graphic design but she couldn’t help but notice the crystal shaped necklace hanging around Delia’s neck while she stood next to Charles while passing out pamphlets. Y/N of course walked up to the booth to compliment the red-haired woman and ask where she got it from. To which she later found herself stuck in an almost 30 minute conversation with Delia about charms, crystals, random positivity quotes, and something about her guru named Otho. 

While Delia was talking Y/N happened to glance down at the pamphlet she didn’t even realize she had been handed. She looked at the picture of the house on the front and spoke. 

“Wait, this is your house? Isn’t this the house everyone swears up and down is haunted?” To which both Delia and Charles stiffened in their places. 

After exchanging information with Delia, she basically convinced Y/N to buy more and more crystals like her, she found herself hanging out at the Deetz's more than she would’ve thought. Especially after being introduced to Charles’ daughter Lydia. At age 23, Y/N would’ve never thought she had so much in common with a 15 year old. They both enjoyed the same music and shared an interest in photography.

Of course when Charles and Delia caught on to their bonding, they eventually asked Y/N to ‘babysit’ Lydia here and there. Lydia definitely would have protested had she not had so much in common with the other girl. So the two of them didn’t really count it as babysitting, and more of just hanging out. 

Of course when the pair started hanging out an introduction to the green haired dead man wasn’t far behind. One night while Lydia and Y/N were sharing photos and designs with each other, the next thing to be heard was a loud “WHAT THE FUUUUCK” coming from the kitchen. All she wanted was a simple snack and now she was standing in front of a random man as he was swallowing a whole box of cereal. The man dropped the box at her screaming and stared at her in shock. Before Y/N could say anything else, Lydia ran in right behind her trying to babble up any explanation she could. For a moment everything grew silent and the green haired stranger stared into Y/N’s eyes and a dopey lovesick grin grew onto his face as he spoke. 

“Hi.”

After that night Y/N and Beetlejuice started to hang out on the regular. Once Lydia explained the demon’s presence and how to summon him, the college girl would often summon him without thinking about it. Mr. Ghost with the Most was an odd but fun presence to be around. Whether it was him telling her stories about the Netherworld or showing her the different things he could do with his powers, Y/N found herself all too intrigued. 

Thankfully at this point it was summer break so the two of them had time to hang out without any of Y/N’s school distractions. Y/N would call and Beetlejuice was there before she could even blink. Of course with all the time they were spending together, feelings began to arise of both parts. 

Of course Y/N tried to not let it get the best of her. Especially when Beetlejuice seemed like the biggest flirt of the universe. He’s been alive for how many centuries? Why wouldn’t he be the one to fool around with anything dead or alive? And why would a man that’s been alive for so long want to deal with someone so inexperienced, like herself? These were all questions Y/N would ask herself whenever she thought heavily into her feelings about Beetlejuice. And all of those questions were about to be answered.

***

While they had so much time to spend over summer break, unfortunately it had ended before they knew it. With the fall semester here, Y/N was back busy with classes and didn’t have much time for Beetlejuice. It had been a while since the pair hung out for a full day. Beetlejuice’s time with her only seemed to be shrunk down to weekends, if even that at times. Having to hear him go on and on about how much he missed her company or seeing the extremely ecstatic face he made when she walked in the door pulled at her heart strings.

Y/N was currently getting the living room ready for her and Beej to hang out. She lined up all of his favorite scary movies from her Netflix account. She of course had to make around 4 bags of popcorn because Beej tended to eat more than she did. He would always scarfing down a whole bowl before she could even get one kettle. She moved her coffee table aside and set up multiple blankets and pillows on the floor. 

Everything was perfect. Now all Y/N needed to do was call the dead man. She sat down on the couch to stay out of the way, whenever she called he always seemed to pop up in any location. And she learned her lesson after one incident where she called and the demon pop-up right next to her and tripped on top of her. Of course Beetlejuice wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t make a crude sexual joke with a smirk on his face. To which Y/N’s whole face turned red and she shoved him away. 

“Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice.” Y/N said loud enough through the whole apartment. The air shifted and a puff of green smoke surrounded her. The young woman coughed and swatted her hands around to clear the smoke away. Y/N looked up with a smile on her face but it quickly changed to a confused frown. She didn’t even see Beetlejuice. She looked around for a second only to see him lying on the blankets she’d just placed out. He propped himself up on one arm, legs crossed, and... was that a dead rose in between his teeth? That’s when Beetlejuice spoke.

“‘Sup, dollface? Finally ditched the losers to get some sweet lovin’ from the B-man I see.” He mumbled through the rose before spitting it out. Y/N rolled her eyes before laughing at the man. 

“Oh my god. Okay first, my friends aren’t losers. Second, no I didn’t call you to get ‘some sweet lovin’.” Y/N said in between giggles to which Beej’s eyebrows furrowed together. He sat himself up.

“You’ve got to be kidding, babes. No one sets up the floor like this unless they’re about to have a good ol’ all night fu-”

“Shut up, Beej. Jesus.” Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose trying to hide the faint blush. “I called you here because Gabby got sick and we all had to cancel our plans. So I figured the two of us could have a movie night.” She fiddled with her fingers. Beetlejuice’s already golden eyes light up even more. He quickly crawled towards her and grabbed the sides of her thighs. The young woman jumped at the sudden contact. 

“You mean it, babes? We get to hang out all night?” 

Y/N tried her best to respond but was still taken aback by his gesture. Sure, she was already used to his cold hands; Beej was always affectionate with her. He would always grab her into a giant bear hug or lay his arms around her while they watched TV on the couch. And don’t even mention the times he would lift her chin with his finger like he was going to kiss her while they talked. But the fact that he was gripping her bare thighs so tightly was sending her embarrassment into overdrive. Y/N shook her head slightly to try and push away the lewd thoughts she was having. 

“Y-yeah, Beej. I-I mean we never hang out anymore. We should take the opportunity while we can.” Y/N moved her hands over his to move them away as she stood up. She ignored the look of disappointment on his face. “What do ya’ say?” 

The dead man smirked “I say, FUCK YEAH!”

***

The rest of the night consisted of laughs, mostly Beej’s, through Y/N’s apartment. Even though the movies picked were some of the world’s top classic horror films, Beetlejuicce saw them as comedies. The pair sat on the blanket nest with Beej’s head resting on Y/N’s lap and his striped jacket around her shoulders. 

“Why does he keep trying to help her? If she keeps falling just leave her dumbass there!” Beej screamed at the TV with clear frustration in his voice. His anger only made Y/N laugh.

“Jeez Beej, harsh much? Maybe she’s the love of his life.” The young woman spoke while grabbing some popcorn. The both made a conscious decision to use his stomach as a table to hold the bowl. Beetlejuice scoffed.

“Give me a break, babes. Someone that stupid couldn’t possibly be the love of someone’s life.” He followed her action and grabbed some popcorn as well; crunching the popcorn loudly as to show more of his anger.

“Oh come on, there’s someone out there for everyone. Even if they do fall at the worst times.” Y/N laughed as he girl on screen screeched in horror as the murderer ran towards her. 

“Yeah whatever. Thankfully no one’s found you yet and I get to keep you to myself, sweets.” Beetlejuice spoke as he cuddled himself up more against her. She only rolled her eyes. 

“Plan on it staying that way too.” Beetlejuice looked up from his spot. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Y/N stopped chewing her popcorn for a second. 

“Uh...nothing Beej. It was just a joke. Look, the girl fell again!” She tried to cover up by fake laughing and pointing at the TV. Beej wouldn’t budge though. He sat up next to her and looked with a small amount of seriousness. 

“No, what’s supposed to mean, babes? You don’t think there’s some other breather out there for you?” Beetlejuice made sure she knew he wasn’t planning to drop the subject. Y/N began playing with the hem of her pajama shorts. 

“I-I. I mean kinda. At least not right now.” She mumbled not looking at him. The demon scrunched his face in confusion. 

“Why not? Look at you, Y/N! Not only are you a total babe, you’re super smart. You’re funny. You make the best waffles ever. You’re crazy creative-”.

“And I’ve never been in a relationship.” Y/N said harshly. She flinched at her own tone once she saw the look on Beetlejuice’s face. There was a beat of silence before Beej spoke again. 

“...What?” He asked silently. Y/N stood up off the floor, letting his jacket floor behind her. The demon watched it plop to the floor and then looked back up at her as she walked around the couch. “Come on, babes. You’re just kidding.” 

“No, I’m not. I’ve never been in a relationship, Beej. I’m 23 going on 24 and I still have yet to date anybody.” She looked down at him and all he did was cock his head to the side and listen. 

“I mean I’ve gone on dates but they never led anywhere. They’re usually just some guys my friends set me up with that aren’t that interested anyway. They always expect me to be like a clone of my friends. All giggly, and cutesy, and sexy, and flirty and...-and just not me! Ever since high school no guy has ever looked my way unless they were looking at the person standing next to me. I don’t turn heads. I don’t get people looking at me wherever I go. And it’s not even their fault, it’s also mine. I don’t go anywhere unless my friends drag me out. I stay home and do my own thing by myself. It just is what it is, Beej. Sometimes some people are just meant to stay alone.” As Y/N ended her rant she felt a small amount of tears build up in her eyes. 

Y/N had always felt lonely until Beej came along. Even with her friends and family she always felt alone. Of course she felt bad about it. She wanted companionship, someone to talk to. Someone who was a friend and a lover. Someone she could talk to about anything and everything. And she thought she would never find that. So when Y/N came to that conclusion, she left it alone. Until a certain dead man came into her life. 

The young woman didn’t realize she had been pacing back and forth behind the couch until Beetlejuice walked in front of her. She was determined not to let him see her tears but when she looked into his golden eyes she saw a mix of concern, sternness, sympathy, and worry. After that, her tears made small streaks down her cheeks. 

“Just forget it, Beej. It wasn’t even that serious. Look, we've missed the ending.” She slightly whimpered, looking at the TV to see the credits rolling. While wiping the tears on her hoodie sleeve she went to move around him but he stood in front of her. Beetlejuice still didn’t speak and that only made her worry more. What was he going to say? What was he thinking? Y/N froze when the demon grabbed her face and wiped the remaining tears with the pads of his thumbs. His eyes softened as he looked into hers. 

“Just one question, babes.” He spoke softly, almost like a whisper. At this point, Y/N was sure blush was covering her entire face. “If you’ve never been in a relationship, have you ever kissed anyone?” 

The question caught her off guard. Of course she never kissed anyone though. She got close around 3rd grade during recess when a boy pulled her towards the swing and tried to kiss her. Only to be stopped when all of his friends caught them and started making fun of them.

“No. Never.” Y/N answered quietly while looking down to the floor. She wasn’t sure what embarrassed her more, the question or the answer. Surely Beej was going to make another joke causing her to be even more embarrassed. Before she could say anything else, the man moved her face towards her and placed his lips on top of hers. 

Y/N hated the cliches of sappy romance movies and novels. Despite all of the same tropes she’d see, she finally agreed on one thing. Her first kiss was like fireworks. She felt like she was on cloud nine. While she didn’t necessarily know what to do, she was determined to figure it out. Y/N leaned into Beej’s lips with a relieved sigh, and much to her embarrassment, a light moan. She prayed to every and God there was that Beej didn’t notice it. But oh, he noticed. 

The sound encouraged him to move one hand from her cheek to around her waist. Y/N nuzzled her cheek more into his hand and moved her own hands to his chest. All Y/N could do was let Beetlejuice take control. He deepened the kiss by pulling her closer and pushing his lips more onto hers. She had to push herself up on her toes to reach him even more. 

But before Y/N could move her hands up further to his neck, he pulled his head back, ending the kiss abruptly. All Y/N could do was let out a slight whine while Beetlejuice chuckled in response.

“Well, now you have.” Beetlejuice said while smiling down at her. It took Y/N a second but she then realized what he meant. All she could do was giggle and hide her face in his chest. Beetlejuice laughed with her and wrapped his arms around her tightly. 

“Let me tell you, babes. I’ve been waiting for so long to do that.” The demon spoke softly as he placed his chin on top of her head. There was a beat of silence before Y/N moved her head back and looked at him with her eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” Beej looked down at her sweetly before it turned to slight fear. Y/N moved out of his arms and inched forward causing him to back up. You mean to tell me, you liked me this entire time and never said anything?” Her voice rising. He threw his hands up. 

“I-I figured you needed time. I know it can be overwhelming having this much man cake to yourself, doll.” He backed himself around the couch and plopped down back to the floor. Y/N stood over him with her hands on her hips. 

“Beetlejuice, I’m over here hiding my feelings and thinking there could be nothing between us...ugh! Do you realize how much sooner we could’ve done that?” She said in mock with a little bit real anger in their voice. Beej sat up, crossed his legs, and smirked at her. 

“Hiding your feelings, you say?” Beej inched forward and Y/N rolled her eyes. 

“Ugh, yes. I-I’ve liked you for the longest, Beej. I just never said anything. But you felt the same so I’m not the only one at fault!” She yelled and turned her head to the side to look away from him. She could feel Beetlejuie staring at her. 

“Y/N.” He spoke softly from the floor. She still didn’t move or look back. She heard him moving towards her and she finally looked down. He sat on his knees in front of her and moved his hands slowly up her thighs. This time she didn’t move. She only stared into his eyes like he had her in a trance. The demon man gazed at her with a more mischievous grin on his face. 

“Let’s make up for lost time.”

Hope you guys enjoyed!