#so this is what’s going on in my life rn

[webslingingslasher]

ohhhh j new fear unlocked for everyone

yk how being on your period and leaking in someone’s bed isn’t ideal? esp if they aren’t ur bf? screw the bed - it got on HIM and he’s not my bf. he’s a cuddler in his sleep and pulled me in and I just saw🤠🤠🤠 nightmare. I’m building up the courage to wake him up rn lol. it’s not that deep but this is pretty horrific bc it’s only my second time staying over and we are very much Not Dating

*cleaning out my drafts - this is an old one!

there have been several times in your life when you've said 'this is the worst thing to ever happen to me.' today takes the cake and you'll never have the urge to say those words again.

period blood? a nuisance to deal with.

period blood on your partner? humbling.

period blood on your hookup? downright mortifying and coma inducing.

it'll only get worse the longer you wait. counting to ten, you take a deep breath and gently shake peter awake. he whines and swats you away, you feel terrible that you're about to ruin his sleep.

'peter, i got my period and i leaked.'

peter sucks in air, the words are registering and he's blinking awake while looking you over. 'in my bed?' you nod timidly, feeling awful about it.

'and on you.' it's a defeated whisper, you turn to the side so you don't see his reaction. you feel the blankets lift up, a two second pause before peter settles back into bed.

'i don't have anything to plug you up so you gotta figure it out.' you stare down at his face, he's going back to sleep?

'did you hear me? i leaked.'

peter sighs, he's more upset that you woke him up than being doused in your monthly. 'yeah, like a quarter's worth. it's a dot, trouble. wrap it up and come back to bed.'

'but i got it on you.'

peter huffs before picking his head up and opening an eye to look at you. 'what do you want me to say? do you want me to be mad? you're the only girl in my bed so if you wanna stain the sheets that's on you.'

you stop a smile from forming, 'are you suggesting i did this to mark my territory?'

'it wouldn't surprise me. it also explains the leg.' he tugs his comforter up to his chin while letting sleep coat over him. 'are you cauterized yet?'

'yeah, i stashed some stuff here.' peter searches around for your hand under the blanket by little taps. 'good, cuddle with me.' you almost squeak when he drags you into his side, always impressed by his casual strength.

'are you sure -' you're halfway through your question when peter takes initiative and hitches your knee over his hips. 'i refuse to answer stupid questions before eight am.'

'i'm sorry i stained your sheets.'

peter's dimple pops out when he smiles. 'bloody nice reminder you were here.' you poke it, he peeks an eye open and acts like he's about to bite your finger. 'you're proud of that one?'

'o-h i'm positive.' you gag before hiding in his side and groaning. 'you're not allowed to make dad jokes before eight am.'

'oh yeah? well you're not allowed to bleed... just kidding, trouble. you can expel your moon cycle anywhere you want, what's mine is yours.'

'wow. you're so romantic.'

'only for you.'

he says it like a joke but you think peter would be a whole lot less cool if it was with anyone else. 'thank you for not making me feel bad. you're kind of the best.'

'i know.' you narrow your eyes at him, as if he can sense it, peter nudges his hand under your shirt to splay his hand across your lower back. his warm palm eases tension you weren't aware of yet. 'i was about to say don't get a big head, but your hand feels very nice so i'll refrain.'

'want me to rub your tummy?' you lean forward to press your nose against his cheek. 'say tummy again. it's cute.'

'no.' 

you whine at his refusal, 'i'm shedding my uterus, be nice to me.' peter smiles at your pout. 'tummy.' hiding your face in his neck you let out a quiet squeal. 'i like when you're cringy with me, it makes me feel like you like me.'

you can see how fast his mind is working, he's hesitating on what he's about to say. peter decides to throw you a bone, you're still embarrassed from giving him a wake up call.

'my baby is feeling so icky, isn't she? her tummy and back hurts and she is being so brave.' you nod softly, he's spot on.

'so icky.'

'so brave.'

'say tummy again.'

peter takes a deep breath, 'you're on thin ice, trouble.'

'just one more time. please?' you plead with him and follow it up with a yawn, his hold and heat is making you drowsy. 'if you tell anyone that i asked to rub your tummy or that i said tummy this many times, you'll never hear me say tummy again, deal?'

your eyes seal shut, his warmth is going nowhere. 'deal.' 

[us3rnam3-r3dact3d]

Since I'm having a bit of a hard time with my chronic pain as the weather gets colder, have some David with disabled!Angel headcanons bc that's what I need rn lol (this is entirely self indulgent and based on myself so yeah... this one's for me y'all...)

Angel used mobility aids when their pain gets bad, and they used to take them on first dates because one, it warded off the creeps, and two, it sussed out any ableist assholes right off the bat. The day that they met David was a good pain day, though, so he didn't meet them with the context of their mobility aid. They agonized over this perfect guy who was a touch of an asshole maybe not being cool with a disabled potential partner. They were so anxious about it that they would opt not to use their aids when they needed them for a while. But when they finally used their aids around him for the first time, he didn't bat an eye.

David keeps a small pharmacy worth of over the counter pain killers on his person at nearly all times. Angel stubbornly refuses to take pain killers until they absolutely have to. David keeps a close eye on Angel's little tells (their face pinching when they walk, their pace slowing down, their temper getting shorter), and quietly places a dose of pain killer in their hand the next time they have a drink.

David is the only person Angel will complain about their pain to. They like to put up a strong front and they're determined to never seem "weak" in front of the pack or the pack's allies (that's ridiculous and nobody would ever think, let alone say that, but it sticks in Angel's head). By the time that they get home at night, they usually have a lot of pent up feelings about it. They like to dramatically whine to David, knowing that he'll never judge them.

Angel actually loves their mobility aids. They resisted getting them for a long time, and when they did, the difference in their mobility was insane. Sometimes people look at the aids like Angel's trapped by them, but they maintain that they actually do so much to make their life easier.

David won't hear a single thing about Angel's disability from any-fucking-body. If anybody makes a sideways comment, asks too invasive questions, or otherwise attempts to make Angel feel uncomfortable, he is on it. The pack moves at Angel's pace, and naturally finds alternatives to things that are less accessible to Angel like stairs. David makes sure that places like fairs, theme parks, and museums are all accessible to Angel before they go.

Anyway, there are my self-indulgent thoughts. Hope somebody else liked it!!

[bladism]

this fic may not be pregnant BUT IT DELIVERED 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ 🤸🤸

“In other words, it was a cemetery of the arrogant and the ambitious, and a perfect fit for Sunday’s current goals. After all, what better way to live a mortal’s life than to endure their struggles?”

what if i krilled myself over this line. TO BE ACHINGLY HUMAN AFTER TRYING TO BE ANYTHING BUT FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY ERUGH

“Had you not dove into the raging tide and pulled him out, he would’ve drowned for sure.”

awwwww my soggy little bird ☹️☹️

“Had you, every time you’d taken him to a local cafe or restaurant, watched and observed? Had you remembered, from the few times you’d seen him order or make a drink for himself?”

i love the use of “to be perceived is to be loved” bc it makes sense for a character who never really had that in the first place. to be more action oriented than vocaljfbfjfnfn

asthma sunday is so very real to me now… ALSO THE FLYING PART IM GOING TO RIP MY HAIR OUT EURGH i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m

THE IMAGERY IN THIS IS SO GOOD I FEEL LIKE IM THERE WATCHING THIS CHICKEN DUDE STRUGGLE AND THAT I CAN EXPERIENCE THE COLD THERE AS WELL idk maybe i’m just weird but i got chilly reading this so 😭😭

if i were more literate rn i’d provide much better speculation and comments and analysis etc etc (i swear i analyze poems on the side guys i’m not a pretentious faker TwT) but i’m tired so here are my babbles 😭😭)

━━ to walk amongst the living .

Jade's last words continue to haunt Sunday as he is cast from the heaven of Penacony and goes from a Family Head to a mere traveler. On his journey to fully understand the struggles of mortals, he ends up becoming companions with you, a fellow wanderer.

sunday x gn!reader

contains: post 2.3, written before 2.7, sunday is hinted to have asthma, sunday is trying his best but bro hasn't touched grass in years so he's struggling, hardcore yearning from sunday

word count: 3.1k

a/n: SUNDAY TRAVEL SUNDAY TRAVEL SUNDAY TRAVEL SUNDAY TRAVEL BARKSI RIYGHGUGHU if hyv doesnt give us any crumbs on what he was doing before he runs into us again. EXPLODES

taglist: @sh0jun , @themoderatelyawesomeninja , @xphantasmagoriax , @rainswept , @lucensei , @akutasoda , @naraven , @scribs-dibs , @apathicace , @flurrina , @tragedy-of-commons , @cakechase , @kiiyoooo , @moineauz

“Achoo!“

The cold was starting to get annoying.

Sunday sighed, biting back his frustration as he wiped his nose with a handkerchief and tugged his scarf to better shield his face. It was a good thing he’d decided to bundle up before leaving Penacony; otherwise, he would’ve already died of pneumonia.

The Planet of Dreams and Festivities was the very definition of a paradise. Everything, from the colors, the sounds, and the temperature was carefully maintained to never be too much or too little.

Sunday did not have such privileges here.

He didn’t remember when the last time he saw snow was. Back home, the closest he’d seen to a natural landscape was the Moment of Oasis, where tourists lounged about on the spectacular beaches - and even then, Sunday hadn’t exactly had time to indulge in such luxuries.

His nose was no doubt red from the cold, and his thighs burned from the long hike he’d decided to torture himself with. Wind battered his hood against his face, occasionally blocking his vision or smacking him. Sunday’s wings instinctively shielded him from the incoming snow that somehow made its way past his hood. He grimaced at the feeling of the ice catching and melting on his feathers, already dreading having to clean them out.

Upon reaching a somewhat flat piece of terrain, he gave himself mercy and allowed himself to stop for a break. His halo, his main weapon against frostbite, glowed gently with a heat not unlike a fireplace as he surveyed just how far he’d traveled.

Mountains upon mountains greeted his gaze, all jagged and covered with the same multi-colored snow that was the staple of this planet. He stood among fallen aurora, and down below, he spied a cluster of bright, warm lights that stood apart from the greens, blues, and purples of the snow: the cities, where he’d first arrived here.

Zastrugi was a planet infamous for its harsh conditions, rivaled only by the recently reintroduced Jarilo-VI. Even so, the people here prided themselves on their resilience, and gladly welcomed those seeking a challenge or a death-defying thrill.

In other words, it was a cemetery of the arrogant and the ambitious, and a perfect fit for Sunday’s current goals. After all, what better way to live a mortal’s life than to endure their struggles?

Sunday looked down at himself. His legs were weak, shaking and trembling from the hike, and no doubt were only kept standing due to adrenaline. His chest burned from haggard breaths, cut again and again from each frosty inhale. His head felt light. He wanted to die.

If this wasn’t suffering, he didn’t know what was.

It was invigorating.

Never before had he felt more alive, with the frost biting at his cheeks and the pain that ransacked his body. He could hear his heart beating in his ears, fighting yet strong and resilient and surviving. A soft smile graced his pale lips as his breath fogged in the air.

How strange, he mused. To find such joy in his own suffering… Was he always this twisted?

“I was wondering when you’d catch up.”

Sunday turned to see you sitting on a rock nearby, snow brushed off of stone so that you could sit without wetting your pants. One of your legs is propped up as you look out at the view, your bored expression proof enough that you’d been sitting there for a while.

You were a fellow traveler he’d met sometime on his travels. Sunday still groaned whenever he remembered your first encounter; he’d gotten swept up in a sudden storm and remembered too late that 1.) he didn’t know how to swim and 2.) his wings were not waterproof. Had you not dove into the raging tide and pulled him out, he would’ve drowned for sure.

Ever since then, you’d accompanied him on his travels - or, rather, he accompanied you on yours. Sunday, with what little he knew of the world outside of Penacony, knew not what his destination was, nor where he should head off to. Your goal was a little more simple - you wanted to see all that was beautiful in the universe.

Even if that meant climbing to the tops of unreasonably steep mountains or camping out in unbearingly hot deserts.

Thankfully, you weren’t opposed to his offer (begging) to join you - on the contrary, you were thankful that he had been the one to say it because in your words, you didn’t know if he would survive if you left him alone by his lonesome.

He still didn’t know what to make of that. For his own pride, he chose to ignore it for the time being.

“Were you waiting long?” he asked, gloved fingers holding the edge of his hood as to keep both it and the snow out of his face. You shook your head, your own hooded cloak flapping in the wind as you looked back out at the view.

“Not as long as I might’ve in the past,” you joked lightly. Sunday breathed a laugh.

Back when he’d first walked alongside you, he’d fought a long and hard battle with his own stamina. It was embarrassing when he thought back on it, how many times he’d have to ask you to stop for a break or even had to be carried by you to the nearest rest stop. Sometimes he wondered why you kept him around, but of course, he never asked.

But he’d grown stronger and more resilient since then, at least, he hoped he did - if not for you, then for his pride.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Your voice was rather wistful as you spoke, a little breathless and hushed, yet clear in the crisp, scarce air. “What do you think? Was it worth it?”

“I’m not so sure,” Sunday tried for a joke of his own - although, he wasn’t all joking. No matter how much he traveled, he could never get used to the feeling of his own breath scraping against his lungs as he heaved for air.

You, intuitive as ever, sighed knowingly. “Sit down. You look as if you’re going to pass out.”

Brushing aside some snow on the rock, you shifted over to make room for him. Gratefully, Sunday fought demons in order to stop his trembling legs from collapsing in from under him as he lowered himself onto the rock. That would’ve been mortifying.

His breath fogged in the air as he sighed, thankful for some rest. Around him, the snowfall was gentle and slow, and as the moonlight from Zastrugi’s two moons caught on each individual flake, ribbons of light came and passed like wisps of smoke.

An echoing click of metal caught his attention. He looked to his side and was greeted with a cloud of steam warming his face. In your hand was a small metal thermos that held what he assumed is either tea or hot water. You gestured for him to take it.

“Drink; you need to warm up before we continue. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you died of hypothermia.”

Sunday breathed his gratitude as he took the thermos. Your fingers brushed slightly, but with the cold, he registered it only after it was gone, and by then it was too late to respond. Still, his heart skipped regardless, and he turned away before he dwaddled too long, thankful for the cold that had already reddened his cheeks.

He blew gently on the liquid within, and took small, carefuly sips as to not burn his tongue (it’d happened before, and it was humiliating). He was delightfully surprised with the subtle floral tastes of white tea, his favorite. It was obvious that it had been sweetened, and the honey added was just enough so that it satisfied his cravings.

But, as Sunday drank away, the tea warming him from the inside, he never told you he liked white tea specifically, nor did he ever tell you how much sugar he preferred. How did you know?

Had you, every time you’d taken him to a local cafe or restaurant, watched and observed? Had you remembered, from the few times you’d seen him order or make a drink for himself?

His hold on the thermos faltered as fire rushed to his cheeks. In his chest, under all those layers of cloth and cloaks, a dance unfolded, his heart tip-tapping away, a steady rhythm that was both nerve-wrecking and comforting.

Sunday inhaled deeply, wings fluttering ever-so slightly, and pushed his thoughts away to focus on the tea, nearly burning his tongue in the process. You only raised a brow before returning your sight to the distant city. A comfortable silence enveloped the two of you.

As Sunday gazed down upon the scene, a sharp ache in his sides and a stiffness in his legs, he wondered - was this how Robin felt, when she performed from that grand stage of hers. Sure, the aurora couldn’t compare to the lightshow that accompanied his sister’s concerts, but still - there must be some similarities. Here, at the top of this world, he felt light, as if nothing could ever touch him.

“O chosen one, who dared to exceed his bounds. Sever your wings, descend to the mortal realm, and walk their lands. See what this world is truly like.”

Lady Bonajade’s words rang in his head. Instantly a scowl twisted his features.

He’d never liked the IPC, and he wasn’t going to start now - especially not with a snake like her. He could still hear her taunting voice, that indifferent condescention presented as good-natured pity dampening his mood. There wasn’t much that could truly anger him, but it only seemed natural that it was yet another IPC Stoneheart that managed the feat.

But still, she had been right… much to his chagrin. As much as he hated to admit it, he had flown too high from the people he wished to protect. Even the Astral Express - whom he respected far more than Jade - had made it clear: Know your people before you decide what was right for them.

“What’s on your mind?”

Sunday flinched. You peered at him from behind your hood, face gentle yet your brows were furrowed ever so slightly.

“Ah, I apologize.” He lowered the thermos to his lap. “I was… thinking.”

“I know,” you replied. Shifting slightly so that you could lean back on your hands, you stretched your legs out into the snow. “You do that a lot.”

With a kick, you sent the snow flying into an arch off the cliffside, creating another ripple in the aurora.

“Thinking too much in a place like this… seems like a waste, doesn’t it? Try and take a break from your brain, and just- see. Look at where you are.”

Sunday raised an abdominal wing to block the multi-colored snow from falling into his thermos. Shaking the snow off the twilight feathers, he sighed, staring into what remains of the tea.

You clicked your tongue. Snow crunched, and cloth shuffled, before the cap of the thermos blocked his view. Screwing it closed, you took the thermos from him, a twinge of annoyance tugging at Sunday as he mourned the last bits of tea still left in there.

Before Sunday could complain, however, you beat him to it.

“Don’t give me that look,” you teased lightly. “We’re almost to the top - you can finish your tea there.”

The beginnings of a pout tugged his lip, but with a reluctant sigh, Sunday abided. Pushing off of his knees, he brushed himself off.

“Very well,” he relented, but not without fixing you with a flat stare first. If you saw it, you didn’t say anything, for you had already begun your trek to the mountain’s peak.

The higher you climbed, the harsher the snow became. No matter how beautiful something was, Sunday found that he didn’t care if it was pelting him in the face with as much punch as a bullet. His hood became his shield, and he hurried to keep in pace with you.

Because unlike him, who specialized in Imaginary and Quantum manipulation, you were a master of fire. Your footprints lasted longer than his for the mere fact that you seemed to melt through the snow, and as long as Sunday kept close to you, he wouldn’t be at risk into becoming a popsicle.

But that was easier said than done. Again, you were far more traveled than he was, and as such you moved at a much faster pace despite the melting snow’s attempts at slowing you down. Sunday was already dreading the next morning - he’d have to do a full-body stretch for at least half an hour after this was all done if he wanted his legs to be functionable tomorrow.

Every now and then, you would glance back at him, as if making sure he hadn’t been swept up in an avalanche - which, if it weren’t unfortunately a valid concern, would’ve damaged his already ruined ego. And each time, Sunday would meet your gaze, and offer the tiniest of smiles before returning to his suffering.

By the time you had reached the summit, Sunday was well about to pass out. The air was thinner up here, making it hard to breathe, and his exhaustion did not make things easier. But he had done it, and surprisingly, he had kept in pace with you.

He breathed as much as he could, swallowing what little oxygen he could grasp from the top of the world. A wheeze or two ripped through his lungs. Wordlessly, you pressed his inhaler into his hand, a pat on his back to congratulate him. Sunday nodded his thanks.

Once his medication had done its magic and he no longer had to focus on the struggles of breathing properly, he realized that the world had gone silent. Snow no longer pelted at his face, and the aurora had gone dark.

And then he swept his gaze, and saw the clouds below him. Somehow, without noticing, he’d passed through them, and entered an entirely different plane of Zastrugi. Here, there was nothing but sky, and the stars - real, actual stars, not the false ones created by the snow, danced in nebulae above him.

And there was you, your cloak flapping in the wind as you gazed up at the cosmos. With so little light, he could only see your silhouette, but he has the impression that your back is turned towards him.

You are silent, as you always are when you see new sights. In moments like these, it was as if your breath had been stolen, and it is all you could do to absorb the picturesque scene before you, engraving it into your mind to store for all eternity.

Once, Sunday had expected you to take photos of your journeys, as a memento. But you never did. No, rather, you would stand there, memorizing every little detail, and then return to your temporary home to paint it instead.

And he swore, those paintings were almost always more magnificent than the places they were based on.

Sunday took one last look towards the everlasting cosmos before coming up to your side. Rather than the sky, the image he drank in was you. Your expression was soft, yet awe-struck, much like a child seeing the world for the first time. There was always a sort of melancholy in your eyes, but also a love for everything that he could drown in if you allowed him to.

You loved the world, and it was that love that he adored.

You turned to him, noticing his gaze, and for a moment, it was if time itself had stopped. His breath caught in his throat, and words died on his tongue. All he could do was look into your star-speckled gaze, all the colors of the universe casting their light onto the two of you.

What expression was he wearing, he wondered? A smile, or perhaps… something else?

But then you raised your hand, brushing it against his cheek ever so slightly, and all of those thoughts disappeared.

A smile wove onto your lips. “You had some snow left on you.”

Sunday tried not to miss your hand as it left him. His fingers trace what you had left, his gaze becoming lidded.

“Ah,” he breathed.

The corner of yours eyes crinkle, and you turned to the cliffside. Leaning over slightly, you peered over the edge, the clouds obscuring the true height of the fall. Sunday blinked.

“What are you planning…” he sighed, crossing his arms. You chuckled, turning slightly to meet his eyes.

“One way or another, we have to get down,” you pointed out. Sunday’s expression fell flat.

“Don’t even think about it.”

Your feet toed the edge, sending rocks and snow tumbling down. “You said you wanted to experience life as a mortal to the fullest, didn’t you?”

“I wasn’t aware that included throwing oneself off a mountain.”

You shook your head, a grin surfacing. “You’re no fun, Sunday. Don’t you have those wings of yours? What do you have to worry about?”

Sunday’s answer was immediate. “You.”

“How sweet of you,” you commented as he came to besides you. “Well, then, you’ll just have to catch me, won’t you?”

Sunday squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose. “[Name], I swear upon all that is good in this world-”

He opened his eyes. You were already gone.

Sunday swore.

Midnight unfolded behind his back, clashing with his white cloak. Without so much as a second thought, he dove into the clouds headfirst, shooting through the sky like a meteor as he searched for you.

The second the fog of the clouds leave, however, he was thrust into a world of color. He fell alongside the snow, and unlike when he was on the mountain itself, he became a part of the aurora. The colors nearly blinded him, if not for the fact that he had his sights set on one thing - your falling figure, so close yet so far.

He tucked his wings as to fall faster. The second he reached you, he grabbed you, arms locking around your waist and pulling you into him, where it was safe.

“You’re a fool,” he scolded as your chest met his. You laughed, throwing your head back to return to the aurora.

“And yet, you saved me all the less.”

Sunday rolled his eyes as your legs wrapped around his waist. His wings returned to their full wingspan, catching the wind and ensuring that your fall didn’t end in a tragedy. He swerved and turned and glided, dodging peaks and keeping his sights on the city.

And all the same, you laughed, nothing short of pure glee in your voice.

And he sighed, fondness squeezing him regardless.

Yes, you were a fool.

But you were a fool he couldn’t help but love.

reblogs w comments are appreciated !!

[hyperions-light]

I think I have to talk about the ending of the game in little pieces because it makes me too craaazy

Like I’ve watched it four times or something and it lights up my brain like a fucking fireworks display

(I’m talking about the solavellan one so Solas haters bail rn)

but one of the things that I loved was the The place I’m going is terrible/it won’t be terrible with you exchange

and like im happy to know they aren’t literally stuck in hell, thank you Trick

but to me it wouldn’t have mattered if they were because it’s about the “I’d go anywhere with you” of it all

I am thinking about the inquisitor standing alone on balconies when the celebration is over, I am thinking about her having to leave everything behind and then being LEFT

and I’m thinking about “I will always follow where you go,” but it’s finally about HIM. finally he is not giving up all his principles and his life and his dreams for Mythal, finally someone thinks HE is worth following— not Fen’Harel, not because of the myth of what he’s done, but in spite of it. Finally SOLAS is something somebody wants for no other reason than love. There is no power to be gained, there is no Wisdom to be sought. He is not needed, he is wanted.

I’m thinking about the piano room and his letter to her before the ritual, I am thinking about the tombstone that said ‘dying alone’

I’m thinking about togetherness as the ultimate reward, as the consolation. I will go and seek atonement/not alone

and lavellan doesn’t deserve a hell, but she would choose it for him

what display of love is more monumental than I will forsake that which I have earned because it is not as important to me as you

It’s so beautiful, it’s so tragic and mythic and lovely

[viktormaru]

arcane season 2 spoilers

figured out the main thing pissing me off abt arcane viktor rn is that jayce dictates his lore when before they just parallaled each other jayce decides if viktor lives or dies, how to "fix" him, what the right choice is and then jayce gets to be sad abt it

that and making it that the spark for viktor to return to zaun to help his ppl was actually going fucking completely bonkers on void murder gel instead of... you know... empathy

and the void magic instead of the techmaturgy of course of course

(copied that from my twitter but adding more)

i think viktor was very cool bcs he was sooooo moved by empathy my man was hurting so bad from seeing ppl suffer but life kept fucking hurting him again and again, his epifany of the Glorious Evolution seems like was born from Desperation. It was the only logical solution in his eyes, the only explanation to how cruel people could be and how to stop it. We know hes not right, but he believes it very much so and is trying to prove it, albeit clearly its been going... not perfect, one might say.

Now the whole "i looked into the void now I have visions and do what the magic gel says" plot is.... so lame in comparison, even though they tried to keep his empathy thing. It doesnt hit the same. He just looks like hes delusional, like he decided to be a savior on a whim

anyway rant over for now im sick and dont feel great so I felt like yapping

[gowns]

the economy in los angeles rn is kinda um.... unprecedented levels of what da hell...

i initially wanted to be a filmmaker, playwright, actor, writer. i was just fascinated by film and theatre and knew that people made a living doing art -- i mean, my dad's a musician, so i personally knew people making a living doing art. but i was particularly drawn to storytelling and performance mediums.

so, i'm going to focus on film here: it's always been difficult to find work in hollywood, but there was still kind of a method of getting work. there are tons of studios and production companies. let's say out of 100 hopefuls, like 60-70 of them could find consistent work in one way or another. a lot of people end up in post production, smaller crew work, whatever, but they're grateful to be working in film in any way that they can while they (usually) nurse their secret dreams of funding and screening their own projects. and let's say like, 10 out of 100 of these people end up making short films for festivals (that are usually bids to make larger features), and 1 out of 100 could make a whole feature (i'm just pulling out random vibe-based statistics, i'm just typing up something quick here and don't want to look up / don't know if it's possible to see stats based on "dreams")

well the thing is, that hollywood is imploding. i know a lot of people who work in production and post-production. you live gig-to-gig. usually it's like, several weeks or maybe months of intense work on a project, then you're done, and floating free in a kind of nerve-wracking way, and then you get another gig, and then you're booked again. very feast or famine.

but lately it's just.... famine??? i keep seeing EXPERIENCED film industry people posting that they're looking for a job, any kind of job, and they have so much skills, but there's nothing.

like what i'm trying to say is... nothing is being greenlit. there are very very few new projects being made, in film or tv. it's going all the way back. some people say it's because of covid and production halting, other people say it's because of strikes, other people say it's all AI, other people say it's because of tiktok and how "anyone can make a video." and it's all of the above, combined with increasing costs of living -- it's not enough to just make a few thousand from a film gig and coast on that for the rest of the year, because your entire MONTHLY RENT is a few thousand dollars.

--

back in february 2020, i made a joke to a group of film production people, gesturing at posters for movies that looked terrible to me -- "god, they just keep making movies, and they all suck. i think what hollywood needs is a sabbatical. like, everyone should just stop making movies. there are already so many movies. we don't need anymore!" and there was a laugh then a sort of awkward silence, and i could sense a monkey paw curling just out of sight. and i quickly added "oh right, but like, there should still be movies of course, ha ha. like, you guys should still have work."

--

i think about this a lot.

like, film as a medium, film as a place in our culture, hollywood as the nexus of storytelling with a budget and many skilled hands.

it feels so present and eternal to me. but it's so new as a medium, and also predicated on so many factors. and a lot of those factors are like a crumbling cliff!

was it ever sustainable?

--

i sometimes envision my life with all these possible paths, and how i somehow picked this one random path (freelance photography), thinking that the other paths would still be open to me. "of course, anyone can do anything at any point in their life! :)" <- ever the sunny optimist.

but as i get older, and the economy gets worse, and the industry continues to implode -- and boy, if you think film is suffering, let's not even get into theatre or publishing -- i'm like wow. actually, all those other paths have gnarled dead trees and tumbleweeds. no matter how much i "dream" about XYZ, we're at a point in history where those things might not be viable anymore.

and then, outside of film as a medium, there's also the empire that we live in, the basis of all this material wealth that has been able to fund big-budget movies. and i love the things that can be done with hundreds of people and expensive cameras. but is that kind of storytelling going to continue to be feasible...?

and i get kinda freaked out because there's THOUSANDS of people here in california working in the film industry. and if they all lose their jobs....?

and if everyone i know loses their jobs...?

ummmmmmmm

like i said every day i wake up and see another "please for the love of god i need a job i have 4000 skills and no one is hiring" post and i just start sweating and going .... "what is happening..."

[sleepymccoy]

Okay so something happened in the trekdom (is that a term anyone has ever used)

I think spirk got canonised?? Or something?? And I assume that as my certified Trekkie Mutual you feel some kinda way about this. you’re a Spones shipper but still how we doing?

I'm sure someone's used trekdom! It makes sense as a word regardless

I appreciate the Trekkie certification lol

Yeah dude, look. Most of the fandom is big into spirk so like people enjoying that romance is par for the course! I got nothing against spirk, it's just a bit of a boring dynamic so I don't really spend time on it. Too healthy for my tastes. Spones is way more juicy, it's got the tension and the sort of different world views that you see in good omens, so it's fun!

To be clear tho, spirk is as canon as it's ever been. Strong subtext, but in the way that a homophobe could watch it and say well they're just good friends. Nothing has changed in that sense, it's just another bit of footage doing more of the same. It's less gay than a lot of the original series, but it's new and shiny so on a surface level i get the excitement

Shatner, who plays Kirk, has done this as a non canon short film. It's apparently considered as canon as the novels? Which is like, not much. Most people don't engage. I haven't really looked into that, im not gonna watch it cos it kind of pisses me off

The thing that really fucks my goat about it is that the guy who plays Spock died a while ago, and didn't get along with the guy who plays Kirk. But the guy who plays Kirk has funded and produced and managed this whole thing to be about his character and his importance, regardless of the wishes of the original Spock actor. Including literally doing someone up in prosthetics to look more like Nimoy. Not just Spock generally, but specifically Nimoy's Spock. Nimoy was involved in star trek films in his late life, and he didn't choose to do this when he was alive. Only after his death has Shatner forced this to happen

That's what's leaving a really bad taste in my mouth. And I feel like people are either not accepting Nimoy's death and are happy to see him puppeted by someone he disliked, which makes me pity them. I work in aged care so I know I'm more comfortable with death than the average, but like. This is a bit fucking dark, no? It's maudlin, let him rest in peace for fucks sake.

That, or they don't mind the manipulation of his image if it tickles their ship, which makes me dislike them. And I don't think I'll really get over that any time soon, it's so disrespectful. And those are both negative feelings, so I'm kind of generally not pleased about my dash rn

I'm trying to take an angle of being about McCoy cos he doesn't feature in the short and that feels wrong. Spock-centric stuff is feeling a little tainted right now, but I'm sure that'll pass. Fanart is different to this kind of image stealing, but it's still weird for me rn. And as much as I love Kirk, I can't remove him from Shatner and his megalomania right now. I hope that'll pass, but I don't think Shatner's gonna stop here so. Hm.

Besides I like McCoy and he's not complicated by all this so I'm just continuing to play in my little sandbox

It's a weird time for trekdom. There's a bit of a rift, and not down shipping lines. I'm seeing a lot of posts working through their complicated feeling around the disrespect inherent in stealing Nimoy's face for Shatner. And I'm seeing other people celebrate the disrespect cos their ship held hands and that makes it worth it.

I'm hoping people overwhelmingly calm down a bit in a week, get a bit embarassed about how pleased they were over something so gross, and it just sort of goes away. Then we can all go back to having a go at Shatner for his constant sexism and homophobia

At least it's not fucking AI tho!

[trypo-p]

WE HIT 500 FOLLOWERS!

(we hit it quite a while ago actually!)

I cannot thank you enough, you’ve all been nothing but kind to me :,)

I’ve been drawing my entire life, and as of this year I finally started posting my art online :D I’m so glad that not only do people like my art, but it makes people happy ^^ I wouldn’t be where I am now without any of you, and I thank you all SO MUCH!!! (I’m hugging all 574 of you rn, yes ALL of you it’s a HUGE hug pile)

Now, what some of you have been waiting for… I’ve been hyping this up for the past few weeks, maybe even months, so now I’m here to proudly present to you…

MY COMMISSIONS ARE FINALLY OPEN!

I’ve never really done commissions before other than for some in person friends, so I’m going to be opening my commissions through Artistree and see how it works out!

As of now there will only be a limited amount of slots open, but that may change in the future!!!

And hey, maybe I'll add more commission options in the future too! (comics, doodles, reference sheets, etc)

YOU CAN FIND MY COMMISSIONS HERE!!!

(p.s, you don’t need an artistree account to commission me! Just thought I’d give you a heads up in case that became a concern! The website takes Paypal and I think Venmo works too??)

I’ll be adding my commission info to my pinned post so it’s easier to access, and I’ll update my bio depending on if my commissions are open or closed!!

Again, just want to give a HUGE thank you to everyone who made it possible for me to come this far! You guys have been amazing, and I truly love all of you so much <3

(I’d appreciate if you guys would reblog this post, not a lot of people see my non-tf2 related posts)

[dreamsy990]

rough sketches for designs of all the pt for the wof au! (also more akechi and better joker here)

thoughts + closeups under the cut

i tried to give proper justification for all the pt to have their codenames here which for a handful of them meant their names are just. shortened versions of something else. so crow is short for crow poison. aka false garlic. its a type of flower :3. i mean theororetically crow would be a valid name but hes a rainwing here and it didnt seem like a very fitting name with that in mind? but theres a couple rainwings named after flowers i think. hes a rainwing for obvious reasons i think. id like to think hed have a very light color palette that shifts to this when he gives up trying to hide who he is. youuu can see that lighter palette in the art i linked earlier.

fox! which is short for snowfox. yes i know snowfox is a real canon name but yknow what else is canon? icewings have a big list of names they go down. so his name is snowfox. i dont have anything else to say here. like ofc hes an icewing hes YUSUKE. id like to think he left the ice kingdom to go to jade mountain (bc is it a wof au without jade mountain) to "broaden his horizons as an artist". which would be how he meets the other guys

skull! is it his real name? hes not telling! i am the least happy with his design tbh.

ORACLE!! her real name is beetle but she likes to go by oracle instead. i struggled a bit on what tribe to make her actually. originally i wanted her to be either part or fully rainwing? because i thought her using her camoflauge to hide from people in crowded places could be fun. but eventually i decided i not to do that. i dont think theres any hybrids in this cast actually? might actually change my mind on that to make noir half leafwing but shh. anyways i think a bug is fitting for her. so she gets to be a hivewing. no abilities for her shes just a little guy

JOKER!! i think it would be fun if joker IS his real name but people think its an alias. his design was easy as shit. ofc hes a nightwing ofc hes got big red stars on his wings hes JOKER. not pictured is morgana also! mona is jokers """pet""" scavenger who speaks dragon. congrats mona you finally get to be human! too bad its in the dragon au. anyways might post a morgana drawing whenever i clean up his design

violet! (named after the violet copper butterfly). her sisters name and the name she uses for a while is rose (named after the common rose butterfly). i ALSO kinda considered her being a rainwing (literally changing herself to look more like her sister) but decided silkwing was a better choice,,,,, im really happy with her design ok

PANTHER!! that is her actual name btw. MY FIRST THOUGHT FOR THIS AU WAS SKYWING ANN I WOULD KILL MYSELF IF SHE WAS ANYTHING ELSE,,,, ik skywings cant have blue eyes unless theyre firescales or sky but shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i wanted to,,,,,, canon is what i want it to be.

queen is short for queenfish! she was a bit of an afterthought sorry </3. but shes a seawing! good for her <3

AND NOIIIRRRR!! i wanted her to be a mudwing as soon as i thought about it for more than a second. design wise i dont have much to say but i think storywise it might be cool if she was an only child and her father (in an incrdible rare move for a mudwing) was actually a present figure in her life. leading her to be kinda isolated from her peers and giving her a big reason to be very attached to him. idk its just thoughts rn. i dont have a clear story in mind yet. anyways those are my dragon thieves i hope you liked them

[such-a-downer]

And thus, they had fireworks.

Though many have thought that the barbecue party has officially closed, the latest chapter threw in an extra punch. But not in a way that leaves a good taste (to me at least).

Just joking, it's not as long as I wanted it to be. My productivity is very crippled rn.

Indigestion

Sakura is thanked by Umemiya once more for the help but we immediately see him wear wrinkles on his face. He feels as though he still have conflicting feelings about it. In his thoughts, he sways the spotlight towards Roppo Ichiza and Shishitoren for being the ones doing the grind. But it doesn't change the fact that it was him who asked for help in the first place. Even Umemiya himself admits his shortcoming on this.

A Gap That He's Missing

Aside from his indigestion of other people's gratitude (it's practically his chronic bug), Sakura broods over being called "amazing" by Umemiya. To him, it doesn't sit right. Afterall, Umemiya pulled off what he couldn't.

It would probably help Sakura to come into terms with it once he understands what he's missing on: the difference between Umemiya's fight with Takiishi and his fight with Endo.

Umemiya's "I'm winning this"

Sakura who has shut himself away from other people most of his life, wonders if he can be like Umemiya. The obvious answer is no. At least, not so early on. He witnessed the power of Umemiya's resolve. But it seems as though he is yet to understand the tough process for that resolve to be so strong.

Umemiya's resolve is very deep-rooted and has been richly cultivated through the years, a whole experience that is still long ways to go for Sakura.

And this is Umemiya against Takiishi here. These two got history. With no clear winner, the ordeal was dragged on and on until Takiishi's departure. Their fight is simply them picking up where they left off– a settlement. Well, Takiishi's plainly just fixated on fighting Umemiya, savoring the moment. To Umemiya, he just needs to win against Takiishi. It's pretty much simple and straighforward, it is indeed "selfish". By that, I mean the fight just centers around them.

Furthermore, unlike us readers, Sakura doesn't know what's going on Umemiya's head. He sees the sudden exchange between Umemiya and Takiishi but does not fully understand the sentiments behind their words.

Sakura does not know this eureka moment of Umemiya. Perhaps if it's known to him, he wouldn't be so down and glum for not going for the win during his fight with Endo. It would have given him better understanding of the difference between his actions and Umemiya's.

Sakura's "I don't have to win"

On the other hand, Sakura's fight with Endo is quite a mess. Their battle goes beyond just winning against the other. To Sakura, it's a "now or never" gamble but to Endo, it's a matter of mind games. Endo is so good with his words, a manipulative opponent who was so close to breaking Sakura. Had Hiiragi and others did not get to the scene on time, who knows what would have become of Sakura.

Sakura clearly sees Endo as undeniably, the stronger fighter. This causes Sakura to fight with the determination to "drag Endo down with him", to stop Endo from dealing any more damage to Furin.

In spite of Endo's overwhelming strength, Sakura was able to best him out. And that, has something to do with Endo's internal realization.

If Endo was a typical bad guy, he would have ended Sakura long ago, no hesitation. But he is a crazy nut in extremes. He wants Sakura to cross over to his side and for that, Endo was ready to break Sakura. Undoubtedly, he is very capable of that.

Endo wants Sakura (I'm not pertaining to yaoi tones). But he knows can never bend Sakura to his will. Yet he longs for the euphoric sensation that Sakura gives him (again, NOT pertaining to yaoi tones wtf). Endo wants it very much that he let himself be taken down before he knew it.

But since Sakura is oblivious of the effect he has on others, he is still confused after asking Endo about it. Winning is not always based on physical strength. Sakura is yet to fully grasp the idea.

Keeping Him Well-Grounded

With Kaji's help, Sakura was able to get past through his doubts and fear of rejection. In turn, his classmates slapped him with the fact that he is accepted and cherished despite the flaws. Furin has become Sakura's place where he can belong to. As someone who has always been shunned, it is only a natural instinct for Sakura to do what he can just to protect it. Even if it means risking by putting himself on the line.

Sakura is indeed impressive for his growth in such a short time. But at the same time, worrying, as Hiragi said. Someone in the wbk server that Sakura might turn aggressive because of his want to protect his friends and possibly get worse injury. I agree and can see the high chances of it happening. I also have a bad premonition that Sakura's about to fall into a bad relapse in the future, and temporarily put up his pre-Furin persona again.

Right now, it's important for Sakura to realize what his recklessness is doing to him. He needs to understand that self-sacrifice does not guarantee a fix-all solution. He needs to realize how much his presence means to his friends in order to keep himself grounded and not act recklessly.

With firm grounding, Sakura can grow strong, even surpass Umemiya if he wishes so and face whatever comes his way without being blown away.

That's all. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

Sending TLC to Sakura 💕

[hevs-dreamworld]

Author hevexn:

Oh boy, do I have a hyperfixation poly relationship rn. Nazseelris, Nazo, Seelkadoom, and Iris. Basically there is going to be a massive arc where they all start getting closer, and arguably more affectionate with one another, then the drama comes right after with Iris’ family.. 👀

Characters:

Nazo: “Well, me and Seelkadoom have been dating for.. Jeez, 3 years now? Tch, you’d think we’d be married with how close we are all the time now. Our relationship is rather healthy, and we really don’t have many issues with one another. I mean, even if we didn’t get paid by G.U.N for helping them in the pandemic, I’m sure we’d still be pretty healthy. I mean, we don’t have spending habits like impulse buying large purchases often, and we usually agree on the large purchases if it’s over $100,000.” (<- got paid MILLIONS by G.U.N when he and seelkadoom helped with the pandemic in 2021 with a vaccine, but no matter where the money goes, he always still has too much money to spend-)

Seelkadoom: “yep, despite us being villains, we’re actually a pretty healthy couple! We just got lucky in all areas of life, and it’s ironic how we got so far!” -smiles-

Extra question: “for the fans, would you two ever be open to a polyamorous relationship?”

Nazo: “Ehh, it depends. If we both like the same person, then sure, but if not we’d probably talk about it and see if it’s a smart idea. I mean, our stuff is pretty sacred, we don’t want someone to disrespect that.”

Seelkadoom: “wholeheartedly agree on that. We both have certain boundaries that are not to be crossed, either by each other or by our friends and family. So while we’re not against it, we are going to be a little picky on who we choose to let in.”

—————————————————————————————————————

Iris: “Me, in a relationship? Honey, I’m the Heartbreaker of Solleanna for a reason. I’m not interested in a relationship, especially if they don’t have anything I want in particular. Men are immature, don’t take care of themselves half the time, they’re mentally weak, and emotionally fragile. I mean, have you seen how many women get murdered just because she politely said no? That should be enough evidence as to why I don’t want to be in a relationship with men. Besides, I want intelligent men, cultured, wealthy, educated, good looking, and mentally strong men. However, I have yet to meet a man that holds to all my standards. If I ever do, then you better believe I’m going to make sure he stays mine. After all, men like that don’t pop up often. Why let him go so easily? Then again, all most men are good for nowadays are for money, to have babies, and filling up jobs to keep the economy running. I mean, that’s how I feel about a lot of them. If they want to make us women feel powerless and pathetic? I’ll do it back times ten honey.” -crosses her legs and sips her wine glass.-

Iris: “hm. Nazo and seelkadoom, those cuties? They’re alright. Sweet as all hell to Amy and I when we all hang out, but I don’t think I’d ever have the heart to pursue them. They’re already together, and it’s just so cute watching them. I don’t want to ruin what they have!” (<- girl’s/gay’s girl!)

—————————————————————————————————————

Mutuals and propaganda:

@hunniegl4zed @thebreadmeower @sonic-au-collision

For kinda both creators and characters?

Creators: Are there any ships in your au that show up that you really enjoy? Or any that are very important(like mc's having relationships)

Main Character(s) of the AU's: if you're in a relationship how do you feel about it? What's your relationship like?

Question for both awesome!!

[heartpascal]

hi my beloveds. this is a heartpascal life update! and it’s a nasty one :’)

so i had to say goodbye to my dog today, which, as some of you can probably imagine, fucking sucked. me and my family r honestly devastated but i know he’s not suffering anymore and that helps (somewhat). but yeah. it’s fucking rough as hell and i am very very sad. this dog has been with me for the past 10 years of my life (which is over half of it… so a long time!) and i couldn’t have loved him any more. i’ll love him forever. and i’ll be missing him that long too.

i got no idea where i am rn so either i am going to be comfort writing at some point or am going to be on a bit of a break. i’m not sure which yet, but as soon as i know, you’ll know.

i love you all. and if you have any pets, give them some extra love for me <3

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[astrolavas]

thinking about the... potential clawthorne woodcarving mentorship.

+ bonus cuz also thinking abt how if hunter ever met dell's palisman and got reminded of flapjack, he'd probably feel bad abt making that association cuz he knows what it's like to be seen only as someone's different version (even though the bird wouldn't mind much so lol)

[violetren]

The great thing about the White Collar OT3 is that at no point does the introduction of Neal into El and Peter's everyday lives never feels like a threat to Peter and El's marriage.

Like from the moment Neal shows up at their house in episode one he and El hit it off.

Within the first 5 episodes Neal and El have figured out they have similar knowledge and interest in the finer things, they're sharing looks over how Peter talks about and will react to things, El is telling Peter to trust in Neal a little, Neal is helping make sure they have a lovely anniversary, and El is calling Neal in to mediate/help prove her point in mini arguments to make Peter do stuff.

They also work really well because while Peter, El, and Neal might all be slightly different flavours and intensities of hyper competent adrenaline junkie weirdos, all three of them are intensely loyal to "their people" so the second El and Neal recognised that they both trust Peter as someone who will always try to do the right thing and respect them they were like "oh green flag."

[jewelleria]

I know it's not how you rationalize it to yourself, but your posts about Israel/palestine come off as a support of the destruction of Gaza and ethnic cleansing of Palestinians. Insisting that it's a war (Palestine isn't allowed to have an army, and Israel cannot claim self-defence against a territory they occupy), denying that Israel is at fault, obscuring support of Palestine in general as being motivated by antisemitism - it paints a picture.

At least 30 000, probably closer to 100 000 Palestinians have been killed as of now. That is so monumentally worse than anything currently happening to Israel / zionists. So when you spend most of your energy focusing on those wrongs, or insisting that people talking about Palestine should focus on them, it comes off as brushing it off or trying to diminish its importance.

You don't have to answer, as I'll be blocking you, but I'm asking you to please consider what you're willing to support, excuse or tone down, and why. I know what it's like to be too focused on the discrimination we're facing to really take in what other groups might be going through.

hey anon, that's some great useful idiot syndrome you got there. how much college debt did you go into to earn it?