#so they just went back to ignoring it
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"Where does this game go in the timeline" is the "which pokemon is the most edible" of Zelda games
#please just stop#how is it not clear to you that nintendo does not consider an overall timeline of the series#“but Hyrule Historia” doesn't even have the same time line as the Zelda Encyclopedia that was released in the same time period#nintendo made that in an attempt to shut fans up and it just made the argument worse#so they just went back to ignoring it
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hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au
turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else
now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident
also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out
#turbo#turbotastic#fix it felix jr#80s boyfriends#hammertastic#headcanon about them exchanging their trophies isn't mine but i loved it A LOT#and “darling” is turbo making fun of how felix was calling him in 80s#this hc about “doll” and “darling” pet names also is not mine but i adore it#turbo here is a complete freak who just stays around felix most of the time even when felix has moments with calhoun#and felix is an ass who keeps secrets from everyone bc he doesn't want his dirt to come out#he's ashamed of his previous relationship with turbo and doesn't want anyone to know any details#and calhoun to just know about it#this just gets worse and worse#they also didn't actually break up and were still technically dating when turbo went gamejumping#and he's mad af at felix because he's the reason ppl in the acrade made a boogeyman out of turbo and he couldn't come back#like imagine your bf says to you what you are better than others think of you#and then behind your (presumably dead) back tells everyone that you're just an egocentric maniac#i believe turbo has other reasons why he gamejumped (besides jealousy which took place but wasn't the most important reason)#and felix is an unreliable narrator#so yeah turbo HATES his ass#(but still would-) no im not making it suggestive#anyway i hc that turbo had put A LOT of emotions in this relationship even tho he's bad at this#he tried his best with felix but they were just making each other worse#and turbo while feeling betrayed never really moved on (yes even after 25 years he's PATHETIC)#and felix is just full of regret about everything but he won't admit his mistakes in his relationship with turbo#bc “well he turned out to be a bad person so that automatically makes me in the right about everything”#but felix had made a lot of bad decisions while dating turbo and was just classically ignorant about a ton of things#sorry about this random ass essay in tags i'm done for now#wreck it ralph#wir
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putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023
#apollo don't fucking touch this one#serious post#not a shitpost#hope i forget about this post and have no reason to ever look back on it one day#fyi i'm aware that access to potable water is already a major issue in parts of the U.S. yes i know flint michigan exists#i'm saying that this issue is going to GROW unless local & federal governments work together to fix it.#so it's a matter of if we trust them to fix it. And well--do you?#what are the chances the government just denies there's a problem until the water actually turns brown#at which point it's already been common knowledge for years and people have just become resigned and that's our new normal#i'm mean come on. how many of us already believe that we're being exposed to dangerous pollutants we don't know about and can't avoid#like that's pretty much just part of being a modern consumer. accepting that companies will happily endanger your life for a few pennies#and the most you'll get is like a $50 gift card as part of a class action rebate 20 years down the line#probably the history books will look back on Flint as a warning and a harbinger that went ignored#luxury condos will advertise their built-in top-of-the-line filtration systems--live here and you can drink water straight from your tap!#watch the elite professional class putting $700 dyson water filtration systems on their wedding registry#while the rest of us figure out how to fit water delivery into our grocery budget while putting 90% of our paycheck towards rent#also eggs are $15
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And in the final stretch of time just when nobody thought they'd do it BLUES COMES IN LIKE LIGHTNING TO DELIVER THEIR YEARLY LEGALLY MANDATED HALLOWEEN DRAWING AND TAKE THEIR 3 FOLLOWERS BY STOOORMMMMM
Theyre all having a little costume party at a hideout and nobody's dead and strahm's there too and everything's fine and ok and dandy and peaceful and lively on planet earth
Also strahm being a fucking buzzkill lmfao
#oh my GOD the speed i picked up to finish this in time#i was so scared i couldnt make it man anxiety got my cheeks clenched up..........#gordon went on bing searched for “horror movie doctors and randomly plucked herbert off the list#adam spends the next 30 minutes of the party hoarding lawrence to explain the lore of Evil Dead to him and its not particularly pleasant#nobody wants to sweep in to save gordon in case they get stuck in adam's quicksand of words as well tho lmfao#they just apologetically side-eye him and ignore the death stare he throws back#lashing out is a cornered dog's only line of defense after all........#latenightsundayblues art tag#saw#saw fanart#saw movies#adam faulkner stanheight#adam faulkner#adam stanheight#lawrence gordon#peter strahm#mark hoffman#amanda young#john kramer#coffinshipping#hoffstrahm#chainshipping
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maybe unpopular opinion but probably one of the least useful pieces of advice I've ever got as an auDHD person to the question of "how tf does one make friends" was to go and join clubs/groups that do hobbies I enjoy. Not only does this not actually answer the question of how to make friends (yknow, how to approach people, how to start a conversation, how to appear friendly enough that they don't immediately reject you for existing, how to actually keep them as friends later on, etc), but also the chance of me choosing to force myself into the discomfort of "making smalltalk with random strangers" is absolutely nonexistent when the alternative of engaging with a hyperfixation is not only socially acceptable but even encouraged
#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#actually adhd#neurodivergent#actually neurodivergent#one time a friend of mine took me to a knitting club#she kept telling me beforehand how nice everyone was and#i shouldn't be anxious cuz they are all nice ppl#when we got there the social anxiety got to me#so to calm myself i took out my project of the time#i then proceeded to hyperfocus on knitting for the rest of#the two hours that we spent there#ignoring everyone else and not talking whatsoever#and since they didn't approach me either i just sat there in silence#she obviously couldn't pass up the opportunity to make fun of me afterwards#needless to say i never went back there again#cuz i mean if i wanna knit i'm gonna to it in the safety of my home#i don't need the added stress of masking in front of others#i still don't know how to make friends
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physically im here but mentally im in declan's kitchen looking into his vacant eyes as he drinks coffee just because matthew said the kitchen smells like coffee in the morning
#i knew matthew wasn't dead#but those chapters still made me cry#oh god#the way declan tried so hard to ignore it#but everytime his mind went into a spiral about how Matthew's dead hes dead hes never coming back hes dead#ykw i think j might re read it just to feel something again#trc#ronan lynch#the raven cycle#adam parrish#gansey#the dreamer trilogy#blue#henry cheng#maggie stiefvater#declan lynch#matthew lynch
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playing p3r on discord vc with my gf bc its one of her favorite games and she wants to see it again, had this exchange today
#persona 3#persona 3 reload#makoto yuki#p3 makoto#yukari takeba#p3 yukari#clai's art#after i bought the 1k worth of bread and went back to the dorm and junpei complained abt weapons being expensive#like haha yeah thats so rough uh. ignore how i just spend a third of what we just had on crab bread <3#what i wouldnt give to try some crab bread......
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Scoria and Sakura are best friends! It's so cute when I see the things they do together, and it makes me so beyond happy that they both came to live with me so that they could share their lives with each other. They absolutely insist on it, and does so much good for the other.
I can't imagine how else they could have found happiness if things hadn't worked out exactly as they did. Scoria has basically been Sakura's "emotional support snake" while she worked through things from her past I'll never fully know that caused her a lot of issues with panic and fear. Sakura knows this too, and looks out for her sister, the only one she truly trusts and feels completely safe with.
The moment they wake up they both want each other to snuggle and play with. Scoria loves to be affectionate with both me and her sister who seems to have not had this earlier in her life- but Scoria is showing her how nice it is not only directly but demonstrating with me and Sakura also trying, copying what she has seen her sister do.
Sometimes when one goes to check on the other they'll join in on... I'm not even sure what they were doing. But they had a good time while taking a mandated union break from digging tunnels for the isopods.
So happy I get to share in the adventures of these two best friends! It makes me so happy to see them living their best lives together, and being beyond content snuggled together with their found family.
#cute#pets#snakes#friends#animals#I think Sakura tried copying Scoria and didn't quite get the full memo#So she went down the front bark and Scoria went down the back which leads into diggy dirt#And Sakura was like#“I followed friend into bark but where is friend???”#Meanwhile Scoria was probably oblivious her little sister was trying to find her & she may was well have her front half going into a portal#Eventually they found each other fully#And were very clear they prefer their home far more than this enclosure they helped build tunnels for#I'm glad to know they like their home#While I do want to make it more aesthetically pleasing#the current focus was filling it with things they enjoy#Specifically things they have a lot of fun playing with or on#I want their home to be the place they feel safe but also enjoy being in#not a prison#a bedroom#I think they like their enclosure but they sometimes don't want to go in it because they also really enjoy spending time with me#Scoria really does#but also communicates effectively when she is sleepy from playing and needs to rest#as much as they love each other when they go to sleep for the night they sleep alone#even with the option to stay near each other#I think this is nature rather than something I taught them by separating them into their own enclosures after play time#which makes me wonder if humans classified them as solitary just because they don't want room mates#like plenty of people i know choose to live alone but that doesn't mean they are introverts/solitary#I wonder if wild hoggies sleep alone (not counting brumation) and their social lives outside their den was completely ignored#Like I bet they live in a neighborhood or kingdom or whatever you want to call it#The fact they can communicate“I'm friendly let's be nice to each other”indicates a species that regularly comes into contact with each other
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yuusha didn’t have anything else to wear so💥
#girl stop looking at me like that#the way i draw yuusha’s braid so inconsistently#anyways uhhhhh#unintentional sequel to my jamil art this morning???#or honestly this can be considered a totally separate incident#make up your own conclusions i guess because i dont know myself 😔#i just wanted to draw her in jamil’s sweater 😔💪#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst art#twisted wonderland#twst#twst yuu#twst yuusona#(💜) yuusha#-✦—]#also-#it’s daylight savings here#which means our clock went back one hour#im eepy but cant eep#but also it may be because i steeped my tea for longer than i shouldve#my heart is. palpitating#(and the coffee this morning prob also contributed uhhhhh)#this is all jade’s fault#i’m FINE yall can ignore this fjdndjsj#lil lore update by me
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instead of nightmare approaching horror to recruit him for the gang i think it would be cooler if he talked to undyne about it. because she would not hesitate TWICE to ship horror off to fuck knows where in the multiverse
like booo booo boring horror would never cooperate and agree to join nightmare without him doing some extra work that he cant be bothered 2 do bc its doesn't benefit him enough 4 the effort put in. AND THAT METHOD DOESN'T EVEN GIVE HIM MORE NEGATIVITY!!!!! nonono the king deserves a show :3 so he goes to undyne who's the craziest of everyone in horrortale and yk yk does some stupid mind manipulation. maybe in exchange for horror he makes up some bullshit lie about how he could save alphys (is she even alive atp) or the rest of the underground and provide them food (like the same deal that nightmare WOULD offer horror) and undynes like 70x more fucked up than horror so of course she's accept in a heartbeat. shes the queen!!!! shes supposed to provide for her subjects (even tho shes kinda. erm. making them all suffer)!!!! and all it would take was a sacrifice of the guy she lowkey doesn't like??? undyne has more reason to accept a deal like that from nm than horror ever would. and it wouldnt be the first time she sacrificed horror anyways lol
idk she sends royal guards out to snatch up horror in the middle of the day (nightmare told her to make it dramatic and tense :3) (all of snowdin would probably follow in concern because OMG WHERE IS SANS GOING????) and then yeah. just like that horrors gone! nightmare probably didn't even give him a chance to say bye to paps. undyne never ends up getting the food nightmare promised because hes a bitchass like that (and papyrus probably ends up taking up the full leader role of food provider for snowdin (if undyne even lets snowdin stay out of her control) good luck for him!)
if horror had a nickel for everytime he got forced to be a sacrifice he'd have 2 nickels. which is actually 2 too much in his eye HES PISSED!!!!!! rightfully so become man ☹️ taken away from his world without even a choice or a reason (to his knowledge) or anything to benefit him??? and now hes STUCK in this disney movie castle with two freaks who look like him (what the FUCK) and then the most annoying THING he's ever had the misfortune of getting kidnapped by. he is in misery. it sucks. he IS infact bitter. if he ever came back to horrortale (which he literally would never get to without dying or losing his stolen eye) he would 500% commit anarchy and finally get rid of undynes annoying ass ‼️‼️
#horror gets to join killer in the forcefully kidnapped into the gang group#would horror lose hope of ever getting back to horrortale???? yeah probably :3#unlike dust he doesn't have dt so he would NAUGHT be that persistent#dust would die trying getting back to dusttale. horror would just want to die after not being able to get back#unlike dust (debatable) or killer (he's done all he can do to help his world and wants to move on) horror still has attatchments in his au#i KNOW the constant thought that snowdin is starving without him HAUNTS him like a plaugue#im like 80% sure horrortale would not survive without horror. it would implode without horror to keep undyne somewhat in check#NOOOO because like what if it was after Aliza manages to help all of horrortale???? like undyne#like she manages to get through the undyne somehow and everything seems to be going up slowly#horror FOR ONCE has hope for everyone again and then nightmare comes in and undoes ALLLL of aliza's progress!!!!!!#THE HOPE GETTING RIPPED AWAY FROM HORROR AFTER SEEING THINGS RECOVERING WOULD DESTROY HIM (maybe idk)#can just imagine killer having to be on suicide watch for horror bc nm can tell he's in a bad mood bc of that hope#killer doesnt have to be on suicide watch for dust bc he wont let himself die if his human still exists but horror?????#horror would not have the same will that dust and killer do. he tries to jump off buildings every mission#horror leaning off a ledge and killer's just holding onto his hood like man stop it this is wasteful and pointless#why does he keep trying to kill himself and have to make killer deal with this. cant horror just like get the fuck over it and do his job#anyways dust and horror exchanging stories about their aus and reminiscing about things before it all went bad#horror gets pissy anytime dust makes an offhand comment tying his story about the genos#dust completely ignores him when horror mentions something about the famine and how it fucked everything up#they rather just take this moment to pretend everything is alright in their memories#in that moment its almost like looking into a mirror. ok triglycercule getting a bit TOO poetic there#horrordust seeing sans in eachother only when they talk about their pasts and making it a way to deal with all thats changed#tricule hc#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#nightmare's gang
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Hyunjin and Felix’s interactive dance moves in Chk Chk Boom ✩ 5 // ∞ [ music bank 2024 ✮✮ ]
#hyunlix#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#lee felix#felix#stray kids#skz#mine*#hyunlix: mine#hyunlix: chkchkboom#bystay#WOOO WE BACK AGAIN#I COULDNT GIF THEIR LAST PERFORMANCE I WAS SO SAD ABOUT IT#ALSO#lets just ignore that these gifs are from 2 different videos with different qualities ok? ok thank you#LETS FOCUS ON OTHER THINGS LIKE FELIX LIL TAIL#also i love how they performed chkchk boom 3 times with the headmics then just went back to handmics again ajkshdkjasd#except felix he still holding onto it
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Does anyone have ever written a fic about Jason realizing that Bruce made the Red Robin's suit for him??? The fact that Jason canonically knows that, but it's making me crazy how it's never addressed.
For the people who don't know, in Countdown to Final Crisis (2007), Jason goes to an alternative Earth where Bruce killed the Joker after Jason died. Once he believes Jason to really be Jason, he presents to him the Red Robin's suit, explaining it's a suit he made for when Jason would be older and have grown out of Robin. And they go fight crime together, as Batman and Red Robin, father and son, until Bruce is killed in front of Jason. There's more to it (Bruce has given up on his morals, but also the whole batfam and JL has given up on him), however none of this is ever used again (a shame, really).
It's not explicitly told if Tim first Red Robin's suit was also made by Bruce for Jason, and the third Robin found it. And there are no other explanation given.
So, is there any fic out there about this??? Either Jason who did go to the alternative universe and thought "it was another Bruce, mine didn't do it" until he saw Tim as Red Robin ("time to beat my lil brother for stealing my shit" the second act), either Jason who never went to this alternative universe but learns that the suit was originally for him?
Because, Jason's whole thing is that he wants signs that Bruce cared about him, and a suit, for his son when he gets older? The man spent his free time making a suit for his 15 years old son for when he would fight crime in college! It was so early for him to already be working on that, it shows the love Bruce had for his boy.
#jason todd#red hood#batman#red robin#bruce wayne#tim drake#dc comics#my ramblings#me: I want the batfam to acknowledge Tim stole Bruce's gift to Jason behind everyone's back#Bruce probably worked on the suit because he didn’t want things to go like it did with Dick#one of Bruce’s love language is making a suit for you#It's a crime how dc never uses that time Jason went to a world his father killed for him#it was not a happy world Bruce was not a great guy and he was so alone#but Jason ignored that because his father cares! right?#but like is it really the same man than the father you love Jason? is it?#or is it just a monster wearing your dad's skin?
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Kiss Kiss 😘
#käärijä#häärijä#khäärijä#digital art#welcome back to another episode of:#things i'd never thought i'd draw lol#anyway i saw some people hoping jere and häärijä would post a photo of them kissing on onlyfans for valentines day#well they didn't#so i just went and drew it lmao#this ended up more detailed than i originally intended it to be#and it was honestly a bit weird to draw this at first ngl lol#(also i didn't really use references so if something looks weird please ignore it haha)
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“Mike said his life started the day he found El in the woods, which was technically the following night. What he said had nothing to do with offending Will because he went missing the day before.”
#byler#ignore the logistics of it#mike’s brain thinks of Nov 6th as the day Will went missing aka the day his life stopped#he met El after a whole day of worrying about will#its the day they had to see etched on will’s tombstone#Nov 7th is just an extension of him finding out and doing everything to get him back#nov 7th evening is a whole 24 hrs later#so yes not the same day#but it doesn’t make it any less incriminating#it’s not that Mike didn’t exist until he found el#it’s that it stopped that day#and then started again when he got hope will was alive#so many lines in mike’s monologue felt like lies mixed with a dose of truth#friends don’t lie co-founder and his loopholes 🙄#I think it’s interesting also that we never really get Mike and Will talking about his time in the UD#the one time they do it’s brief and mostly about uncovering what’s happening to Will in that moment in s2#but like we never see them talk outright about what happened or how the party all coped#so the prospects of him finding out how Mike truly felt back then…#in a scene where mike explains the ‘i feel like my life started-‘ line to Will#(and even more importantly the audience who has to buy into this)#that could be quite something…
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Abuse, Silence, And Why Kevin Can Fuck Himself
I recently finished watching Kevin Can Fuck Himself on Netflix, and, aside from being the most brutally honest portrayal of domestic abuse I have ever seen, I discovered a beautifully written examination of narrative as power and silence as abuse and how this manifests in our larger culture.
Without going into too much detail, the show is filmed in two distinct styles that are interleaved throughout each episode to tell a cohesive story. Allison and Kevin’s relationship as seen by the rest of the world is told through a multi-cam, laugh-track sitcom that depicts a very typical “goofy husband, shrewish wife” mainstream comedy. Allison’s life through her own eyes is told through a single-cam drama/thriller about Allison planning to murder Kevin to escape his abuse.
It’s an absolute masterclass in screenwriting, but more than that, every episode explores the difference between truth, fact, and reality, and how none of these things are quite as much or as little as story. But while the process of transforming the chaotic and plotless reality of life into a story is as involuntary and essential as breathing, misogyny and the degradation of women is just as ubiquitous in our society, and a story that exists at the expense of another person’s lived reality is a refutation of their humanity.
It's also just a great show for anyone who likes to engage with history (or reality TV or true crime or “real life stories” in general), because while we have to tell ourselves stories about her own lives, we have to tell ourselves stories about other people as well. Eternal silence is narrative death, and the perpetual silence of an unspoken narrative is often the last death we can visit on someone whose story we’d rather ignore.
I also pulled up some books – Lolita and Disgrace – that dealt with similar themes, but from the perspective of the abuser. And what strikes me the most is that, across three beautifully written stories about narrative and silence within a culture that normalizes abuse, Allison, who began her story within a state of narrative death, was the only point-of-view character who had any chance of surviving.
One of the main themes of Kevin is that a compelling story is often a story that reinforces what we already believe or like to believe, and while the story may be factual and true it often also exists at the expense of someone's lived reality. The exact same series of events can be a silly joke or a harrowing tale of abuse depending on the lens through which we view it, but historically we've only been willing to see the multicam, laugh track, sitcom perspective on unbalanced relationships.
The alchemical process of turning a series of disjoint facts and experiences into a narrative creates something new and compelling, and erases much of what previously existed. In this way, it’s entirely irreversible. We spin our experiences into a very thin thread, a story we can tell ourselves that elicits something within us, something we need in order to live with the complex, uncertain, and unsatisfying reality of life. In think in many ways the thing we elicit in ourselves is truth. But truth is both more and less than fact, often more a reflection of our own beliefs and desires than the events of our lives. And in telling that truth we may never stray from the facts, but we almost by definition cannot give voice to another person’s reality.
There's a scene in season 2 of Kevin when Allison is hit by a door – a la the classic excuse – because of Kevin’s carelessness. And while he absolutely did not hit her, the way it's written is such an incredible allegory for how Kevin has curated their story and curated their friends' and family’s perceptions of their story such that even if she tells everyone the exact, unvarnished truth of what's happening to her and begs for help, they will only be capable of seeing the laugh-track, sitcom, “Kevin is a harmless goofball and his wife is a total shrew” perspective on the events of their lives.
As so often happens with abuse, their friends and family saw Allison being hurt because of Kevin. But the alchemy of creating a narrative around Kevin and Allison is irreversible, and the series of events they witness can only be spun together to a joke, an accident, a silly, childish mistake. Allison’s reality, Allison’s pain and fear, is completely elided. Like a lost sound in the middle of a sentence, her experience goes silent, and their larger understanding of her relationship never has to change. And you feel so acutely how Allison lives her entire life in that silence.
Storytelling is human, it’s essential, there’s no other way to engage with our own lives. And it’s not lying. It’s never lying to tell the truth. But it doesn’t reflect every reality, either, because another person’s reality can’t be reflected within our own narrative, because that’s what it means to be another person. To spin two different threads.
And because narrative is the essential process by which we understand our reality, denying someone their own narrative, or denying that this narrative be heard, is inherently abusive. To allow someone a voice is to give them humanity, and to suppress it is to strip that humanity away.
Disgrace, by J.M. Coetzee, follows the story of a professor, David, who rapes a student and then fails to protect his daughter, Lucy, from being raped by intruders in their home. He destroys his daughter’s life – not through failing to protect her, but through twisting her rape into a story about why the rape of his student wasn’t wrong. The main theme of the book is generally considered to be exploitation, but Coetzee doesn’t deal with the exploitation of the rape. That’s too direct, too immediate, too easy for the reader to understand as misogynistic and wrong. Rather, Coetzee delves into “the innocuous-seeming use of another person to fill one's gentler emotional needs” (Ruden).
The rape is how we understand David as a fundamentally exploitative person, a person who denies others their humanity by converting them into a vessel for his own desires, who erases their voice in order to speak through them and give himself the things he needs. And that’s how we recognize that the way he absorbs and claims the stories of his daughter and his student is another kind of violation of their humanity. Another way of turning women into vessels for men’s pain and fear and need.
What’s fascinating is that David's student finds her voice – files a complaint against him – and is eventually able to continue with her life. The woman he raped is less damaged by him than his own daughter, because she was the woman he couldn’t permanently silence.
In Lolita, another brilliant novel about abuse, dehumanization, and storytelling, Humbert turns to the reader at the end and says, “Imagine us, reader, for we don’t really exist if you don’t.”
It’s not that Humbert knew he was fictional, but that he knew everyone was fictional. Believed the entire world only truly existed in his own mind, because anything beyond that was irrelevant to his needs. He coped with the collapse of his ability to dehumanize Dolores (who he called Lolita) by demanding that his voice be resurrected. Demanding immortality. Demanding his narrative exist in another person’s world, and thereby be given the existence and humanity that Allison and Dolores and Lucy and David’s student were denied.
Pushing his needs, finally, onto the reader, because we are the only person he has left, and a person like him can only exist through the use of another. In that way, Humbert was powerless. In that way, Kevin and David were powerless, too.
In Disgrace, David’s dream is to write an opera, and at the end of the book he realizes he’ll never finish his magnum opus. He’ll never be able to terminate the process of converting himself, his world, into a story. But he does learn to decenter himself in that narrative. And it’s when he loses all fear of death, and any conception of the self, that he gains the ability to give dogs – who he generally equates to women – a voice within his opera, his life’s work.
It’s in death that we discover our true unimportance as human beings, that we learn to let go of vanity and our conception of the self entirely. And David had degraded women so thoroughly in order to justify how he used them to meet his own emotional needs that it was only in losing all value for his own life that he could gain the ability to see them as equal voices. To actually put those voices into his own life story. It's at the cost of himself that he allows other people to truly exist, in the death of the self that he finally allows the world to exist outside of himself. It’s almost a positive character arc. Almost.
When Kevin finally loses the ability to abuse Allison, he, like many abusers, loses all desire to live. His world was built on a structure of superiority and inferiority, on beings and vessels, on the inherent value of men and the inherent meaninglessness of women’s lives. The system on which he based his entire reality has been destroyed by Allison’s declaration of the self. And, if he was a being because she was a vessel, then in losing the ability to treat her as a vessel, to fully and completely dehumanize her, he has lost his own humanity.
It may be perfectly summed up here: “Become major. Live like a hero. That's what the classics teach us. Be a main character. Otherwise, what is life for?” (Coetzee).
If you’re not to be a main character, if there indeed is no split between major and minor characters, between people and the paper dolls that populate their story, between living beings and the vessels into which they pour their need – what is life for?
Nothing. At least, not for people whose narrative must exist at the expense of another.
And that’s why I say that only a narrator like Allison could survive this kind of story. Despite beginning her story trapped in eternal silence, her reality fully elided no matter how immediate and obvious it became, Allison was the only point-of-view character of any of these three stories who didn’t establish her power through the degradation of another. Who didn’t conceptualize the world via being and vessels. Whose narrative didn’t exist, by necessity, at the expense of another person’s humanity. Whose thread could exist in a larger tapestry without destroying her sense of self.
Don’t get me wrong, she’s not generally a likable character. She’s misogynistic, cruel, selfish, jealous, desperate, afraid, and in pain. Like anyone in an abusive relationship, she’s not at her best, and she’s often pushed to do things that are ugly and disturbing because she’s simply been pushed too far.
But, for me, the power in her character is in how her last scene never felt like a final scene. Her story didn’t have to be killed, her conception of the self didn’t have to be killed, in order to reveal the brutal reality of stories twisting and intertwining without any inherently superior truth or narrative among them. Allison’s story was one of declaring herself. And that’s why it didn’t feel like it ended at the end. Instead, this felt like a beginning.
#this is probably the most egregious 'post that no one asked for' that I've ever written#but man this show HIT me y'all#and then I went back and reread parts of disgrace and that hit me too#it also made me reconsider my online presence and how I myself engage with narrative in the very small little world I'm a part of#I caught some shit a while ago and made a conscious decision to never comment on the narrative around the beatles#and to be clear I was just talking about a general narrative in society at large I wasn't bringing up anything specific or attacking people#more how larger social narratives filter into and sometimes come to define individual stories#but it was upsetting to people and I figured instead I can just try to express a compassionate perspective on the mentally ill myself#but now I wonder if I've gone too far#idk without naming any names I'm getting unblocked by people who should definitely still find my mindset intolerable to their worldview#and I don't blame them because we all have reasons for the things we believe and we're all just doing our best#but it's a canary in the coal mine#it makes me think I've become so focused on not ruffling feathers that I'm tacitly approving some disturbing beliefs#and I think I could have happily ignored that if I hadn't just watched this show#posts that no one asked for#kevin can fuck himself#kevin can f*** himself#op#longer rambles
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pérez doesn't seem to know bart's supposed to be older than fourteen any more than deodato did but spurrier is in my good books for now for the fact alone that he's aware of how important max and bart are to each other.
The Flash (2023) #7
#dc#dc comics#bart allen#impulse#max mercury#max&bart#the flash#the flash (2023)#tuesday spoilers#at this point in time with my favs (steph bart jon) i just gotta take the good stuff and ignore the bad stuff lol#bc we're never gonna get (back to) where i wish we were so why waist the energy right#also sidenote inspector pilgrim is definitely wade right#like future wade#he called gold beetle kinda family#he went back to watch himself as a baby which obviously would align him with the current time#like. right?
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