#so the sitcom bitch loves sitcoms oh i’m sure

[bawnjourno]

Rules: make a poll with five of your all-time favourite characters and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favourite.

tagged by fellow harry anderson thirster @carcarrot

tagging @footnoteinhistory @starspangledsoldiers @boasamishipper @lizmitches @asilverspring @roycohn @maelwife @churippu and the girl reading this

[f14fun]

lay all your love on me - op81 (C2)

synopsis: in which oscar piastri and a university student begging for her euro summer vacation collide in a steamy, abba-inspired romance

prose (6.1K words) ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ profile | masterlist | series index ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

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02: Love, Sweat, and Secondhand Embarrassment

"Clemmy I swear I wanted to die that entire time. Whoever I offended in an alternate universe I am so so sorry, I truly believe karma is real now," I lamented, voice weak.

Burying my head in my pillow, I could finally appreciate the cool blast of AC (well, it was a little bit of air conditioning but a little is better than nothing) I scratched my right leg that was hoisted up onto the blue duvet cover. If not for the horrible comedic timing of everything, in that moment, I might have said that I was enjoying myself.

On the other line of the phone, thousands of miles away, it was a completely different story.

"What the fuck," Clementine could barely muster out because she was laughing so hard.

"I still don't think any part of this story is funny, Clem," I roll my eyes and trail off.

"But it is! You genuinely should consider a career in stand-up comedy. If you recounted all of this in front of a paying live audience, I'm just saying it could make you a millionaire overnight," Clementine wheezed.

"Oh, shut up, bitch," I retorted, trying to suppress a smile despite my mortification.

"You know it's true though!" Her girlish giggles rang through my room. I could see her face through the screen and it looked like visible tears were streaming down her face from how funny she found this to be.

"I am completely and utterly humiliated. There is no way I can go downstairs and face everyone right now," I whined. It was true, as twenty minutes ago, mid-Facetime with Clementine, I heard the door to the foyer open and heard a lot of new noises.

New people. The neighbors. The rest of the Australians.

Crikey, mate.

There was no way I could face them. And since Oscar was probably their son (he looked way too young to be a father) he had probably already told them about the wretched and humiliating mishap.

"Seriously, Clemmy, you don’t get it," I said, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice but failing miserably. "This is not just some embarrassing story. This is my life, and I have to face these people now."

Clementine’s laughter finally started to subside, and she took a deep breath. "Okay, okay, I get it. But you have to admit, this is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of disaster. You can’t just ignore it. It’s like the universe is telling you to embrace the chaos."

I sighed, feeling a bit more grounded with her calming tone. "Yeah, well, I’m not exactly feeling the universe’s love right now. I feel like I’ve been dropped into some kind of sitcom. And what if they think I’m a total klutz? I can’t even begin to imagine how Oscar must’ve described me."

"It'll be fine. You are a pro at handling horrible situations. I mean, I can really only think that you have had more bad experiences with guys than good ones!" Clem tried to reassure me.

"Wow, thanks," I deadpanned. "Way to make a girl feel special."

Clementine's voice was full of playful sympathy. "Hey, I’m just saying, you’ve survived everything life’s thrown at you so far. Besides, look at it this way: if they’re judging you based on this one incident, they’re missing out on getting to know the amazing person you are."

"Yeah, because nothing says 'amazing' like face-planting into a pile of shampoo and knocking over a bunch of cleaning supplies," I said, sarcasm dripping from my tone.

Clementine laughed. "Exactly! And let’s be honest, if they do judge you for this, they’re definitely not worth your time. Besides, Oscar might even think you’re charming in a clumsy, endearing kind of way. You never know."

"You should really consider a career in therapy. If I lay here and close my eyes for a bit and sleep for three hours surely your advice will work," I retorted.

"Oh be so serious with me now,"

"I am! Now I can add a new skill to my LinkedIn profile," I said, trying to stifle a giggle. "How about 'Expert in Catastrophic Bathroom Mishaps: Master of Turning Shower Encounters into Slapstick Comedy'?"

Clementine burst into laughter. “That’s quite a title! It’s like you’ve got a whole new niche market for yourself.”

“Right? I’m just waiting for the endorsement from ‘The Association of Embarrassing Bathroom Incidents,’” I said, imagining a badge with that exact title. What a big, fat, fucking joke.

“Or maybe you'll become the keynote speaker for the 'International Conference on Unexpected Water-Based Accidents,’” Clementine added, her voice full of amusement.

“I’ll make sure to include a workshop on ‘How to Survive a Bathroom Collision with Dignity and Humor,’” I said with a chuckle. “And don’t forget the seminar on ‘Turning Slip-and-Fall Disasters into Networking Opportunities.’”

“A career to consider!” Clementine laughed. “And you know what? I’ll be your first fan. Just remember to keep me updated on how your new ‘disastrous bathroom mishap’ career is going.”

“I’ll make sure to do that,” I promised with a smile. “Thanks for the laugh. It’s nice to know that even in the middle of a fiasco, I can count on you to turn it into a comedy show.”

"What can I say, I will never turn down listening to a free shit show," Clementine winked at me through the camera.

"Clem! What the hell!" I waved my manicured pointed nail at her.

"Bye! Don't die from embarrassment before you come back!" She quipped, then promptly hung up.

I lay sprawled on my bed, dreading the thought of going downstairs and facing the group of new neighbors. The whole idea made me cringe. I was just about to mentally prepare myself for the awkward introductions when a sudden knock on my door jolted me upright. My heart raced as I called out lazily, “Come in.”

The door creaked open, and I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Oscar standing there. His eyebrow was raised, and he wore a cheeky grin that did nothing to ease my nerves.

"Well, well, well," he said with an amused smirk. "Looks like you’ve been having quite the chat with 'dearest Clemmy,' haven’t you?"

My face flushed beet red, and I stuttered, struggling to find my words. “W-What are you doing here?”

Oscar leaned casually against the doorframe, clearly enjoying my discomfort. “Oh, you know, just overheard you and Clemmy talking about our little mishap. I believe you mentioned something about me being ‘a charming yet infuriating Aussie who managed to turn your bathroom break into a comedy skit.’”

I blinked, stunned into silence. My mouth opened and closed, but no coherent words came out. The sheer embarrassment was overwhelming. Oscar’s casual demeanor and his cheeky grin only made things worse.

“What can I say, my name was called,” Oscar continued with a mischievous glint in his eye. “If someone keeps calling you hot, I mean, wouldn’t you be too curious to listen?”

His smirk only made my breath hitch and my fingers tremble a little more. I could feel my cheeks burning, and I struggled to come up with a response. The playful glint in his eye and his casual attitude did nothing to alleviate my embarrassment. Instead, they only made me feel more flustered.

I took a deep breath, trying to regain some semblance of composure. “W-Well, I guess I didn’t think anyone would be actually listening.”

Oscar raised an eyebrow playfully, his smirk widening. “Oh, I’m sure you didn’t. But it was too good to pass up. Especially the part where you called me a ‘human wrecking ball.’”

My face flushed a deeper shade of crimson. “Great. Just great,” I muttered, shifting uncomfortably. “I’m sure I’ve made a fantastic first impression.”

Oscar chuckled, leaning casually against the doorframe. “Look, it’s all good. I’ve seen worse first impressions. Trust me. At least you didn’t accidentally set off the fire alarm or flood the place.”

I managed a weak smile, still feeling the sting of embarrassment. “Yeah, well, I’ll try to keep any future disasters to a minimum.”

Look at me, constantly embarrassing myself in front of hot guys. This was the exact reason why I was still bitchless and socially awkward at the ripe age of twenty-one. I could navigate a spreadsheet like a pro, ace exams, and even master the perfect contour, but put me in a room with a cute guy, and I turned into a walking calamity.

I sighed internally, already dreading the inevitable teasing I’d get from Clemmy once she found out I had, yet again, failed to keep my cool around a guy. Maybe I should’ve just stayed in the bathroom and let the ground swallow me whole.

Oscar raised an eyebrow, studying me with a curious look. “You know, you seem like a completely different person right now. Way quieter, more shy… less daring.”

My face flushed with a mix of irritation and embarrassment. “That’s not true,” I snapped, crossing my arms defensively. “I’m exactly the same as I was before.”

Oscar’s grin widened, clearly enjoying the effect his words had on me. “Sure, if you say so. But the girl who almost took me down like a rugby player in the bathroom seemed a lot more fearless.”

My nose flared as I shot him a glare, feeling the fire of indignation rise within me. Who did he think he was, making assumptions about me? I’ll show him just how brave I can be, I thought, my fists clenching. If he wanted to see daring, then I’d make sure he regretted ever doubting me. The nerve of this guy! He might have been hot, but that didn’t give him the right to push my buttons like this.

Oscar gave me a lopsided grin, clearly pleased with himself. "Anyway, everyone’s heading downstairs to meet each other. Figured I’d let you know, since, you know, it’s probably not the best idea to hide out up here forever."

My stomach twisted with nerves at the thought of facing everyone after that humiliating encounter. The idea of meeting new people while still reeling from my disastrous introduction to Oscar was daunting. But there was no way I was going to let him see how nervous I actually was. I took a deep breath, nodding stiffly. "Fine, let’s get this over with."

As we walked out of the room and toward the stairs, I could feel Oscar’s presence behind me—large, imposing, and annoyingly close. My face heated up, and I silently cursed myself for blushing yet again. Why did this guy have to make everything so difficult?

It was like shooting a sitting duck. A little small talk, a smile, and baby, I was stuck. I was a grown woman, for god’s sake, not some teenager swooning over a crush. But there I was, getting flustered over a guy I barely knew. Get a grip, I told myself, trying to shake off the absurdity of the situation. This wasn’t supposed to happen—I wasn’t supposed to be this easily charmed.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, I hesitated, gripping the railing a little longer than usual. I could feel Oscar’s gaze on me, and it only made my nerves worse. Just as I was about to take the first step down, his hand brushed against mine. The contact was brief but enough to send a jolt of awareness through me. His hand was rough with calluses, moderately enveloping mine in a way that felt both comforting and disarming.

What was it about this guy that made me feel so uncharacteristically off-balance? As I tried to steady my racing thoughts, I reminded myself that I had to keep it together. After all, I wasn’t about to let some smooth-talking Aussie turn me into a lovesick fool—no matter how much my traitorous heart seemed to enjoy the challenge.

As I reached the bottom of the stairs, my eyes were drawn to two adults who were deep in conversation with my mom. Their warm, friendly demeanor and unmistakable Australian accents told me they were Oscar’s parents. They seemed just as lively and outgoing as he was, which only added to the strangeness of this entire situation.

Then, I spotted Oscar’s siblings—a trio of sisters who looked like carbon copies of him, yet each had her own distinct vibe, like different fonts of the same typeface. They were laughing and joking with each other, their bond evident in the way they effortlessly engaged in light-hearted banter. I felt a pang of envy, wishing I had siblings to share that kind of closeness with.

My daydream was abruptly shattered when Oscar’s large, warm hand clasped onto my shoulder, his fingers pressing gently but firmly against my skin. The unexpected touch sent a jolt through me, making me jump slightly as a flush of heat rushed to my cheeks. His chuckle, deep and amused, rumbled behind me, the sound wrapping around me like a teasing caress. He was standing on the step just above me, close enough that I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. His presence was unmistakably felt—broad, solid, and way too close for comfort, yet somehow not close enough.

His fingers lingered on my shoulder, almost as if he was testing my reaction, and I could feel the warmth radiating from his touch, seeping into my skin. The space between us seemed to shrink with every passing second, and I could barely concentrate on anything but the weight of his hand and the steady beat of my heart hammering in my chest.

Oscar leaned in slightly, his voice low and smooth as honey. “Jumpier than I thought,” he drawled, his tone dripping with playful mischief. “Didn’t take you for the shy type. Especially not after our little bathroom tango.” His grin widened, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a way that was both infuriating and ridiculously charming.

My pulse quickened at the way he was looking at me—those eyes sparkling with amusement, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. I swallowed hard, my mind racing to come up with a retort, but all I could focus on was how his hand, still resting on my shoulder, felt both protective and possessive. The air between us crackled with a tension that was impossible to ignore, and I had to remind myself to breathe.

I could quite literally cut the sexual tension with the dullest fucking butterknife in the world.

I tried to muster a sharp retort, something that would wipe that smug grin off his face, but my brain was too busy short-circuiting to cooperate. All I could manage was a stuttered, “I-I’m not shy! You just—caught me off guard, that’s all.” The words tumbled out, weak and unconvincing, and I mentally cringed at how feeble they sounded.

Oscar’s grin only grew, clearly enjoying my flustered state. He leaned in a little closer, his gaze locked on mine with a playful intensity that made my heart skip a beat. “Off guard, huh?” he murmured, his voice dipping lower. “So, you’re saying if I hadn’t surprised you, you’d be able to keep up?”

I opened my mouth to respond, determined to regain some semblance of dignity, but nothing clever came out. Instead, I just stood there, caught between wanting to pull away from his teasing and feeling inexplicably drawn to his warmth. His hand slid from my shoulder, and the absence of his touch left a surprising chill in its wake.

Realizing that my window for a comeback was closing, I finally managed to sputter, “Y-Yeah, exactly.” I immediately cursed myself for sounding so pathetic. Not exactly the sharp comeback I was hoping for. His smirk deepened, and I could tell he wasn’t buying it for a second.

“Sure, whatever you say,” Oscar replied, his tone still dripping with amusement. He straightened up, giving me a quick wink before stepping down to the next stair. The playful glint in his eyes told me he knew exactly how much he was getting under my skin, and he was loving every second of it.

As he moved past me, I finally found my voice—too little, too late—and muttered under my breath, “Cocky bastard.” But it was quiet enough that I hoped he didn’t hear it. To my dismay, Oscar paused, turning back with a raised eyebrow and an even wider grin.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that,” he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Care to repeat it?”

My cheeks flamed as I quickly shook my head. “Nope, nothing. Let’s just… go meet everyone.”

Oscar’s grin didn’t falter as he took a step closer, still looming above me. “You know,” he began, his voice casual but with that familiar teasing edge, “I’ve already met everyone else. Your mom, too. And I’ve gotta say, you two seem like complete opposites.”

I blinked up at him, caught off guard again. “Opposites?”

He nodded, leaning against the wall with that effortless ease he seemed to have perfected. “Yep. Your mom’s all smiles and warm welcomes. You, on the other hand… well, you’ve got this whole ‘ready to throw punches’ vibe going on.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to gauge whether he was being serious or just messing with me again. “I do not have a ‘ready to throw punches’ vibe.”

Oscar’s lips twitched like he was holding back a laugh. “Oh, you totally do. But don’t worry,” he added with a playful smirk, “it’s kind of endearing. Keeps things interesting.”

I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. “Glad to know I’m so entertaining for you.”

He shrugged, unfazed. “Hey, I’m just saying, opposites attract, right? Besides, your mom already likes me. You could take a few notes.”

His comment sent a fresh wave of warmth to my cheeks, both from irritation and something I couldn’t quite place. “I don’t need notes from you,” I shot back, though my voice lacked its usual bite.

Oscar just chuckled, giving me one last teasing wink before turning to head down the stairs. “Whatever you say, mate. Just try not to tackle anyone else while you’re at it.”

"Well well well, what do we have here?" A girl with short hair and a devious grin matching Oscar's grinned at me as well entered the kitchen. Shimmering her hands like "jazz hands", she rolled her eyes and rested her chin in the palm of her hand.

I turned to face the new arrival, immediately recognizing her as one of Oscar’s sisters—one of the three siblings who seemed to share his penchant for mischief. Her cropped hair and sharp, playful eyes made her look like she’d just stepped out of a rom-com where she was the resident troublemaker, always stirring the pot and having a laugh at everyone else’s expense.

“Hey, party people,” she said, her voice dripping with a teasing lilt. She shot me a grin that was almost a mirror image of Oscar’s, mischievous and knowing, like she was in on some inside joke I hadn’t been let in on yet. I could feel the same heat from before creeping up my neck. Why did it feel like these siblings were reading me like an open book?

“Looks like someone’s already made a grand entrance,” she continued, flicking her eyes between me and Oscar with an amused smirk. “Oscar’s been talking about you nonstop since we got here. Said something about a ‘bathroom fiasco’ that deserves an award?”

I shot a glare at Oscar, who was leaning casually against the counter, looking far too pleased with himself. “Did he now?” I said, trying to keep my voice steady despite the mortification clawing at me.

The girl laughed, light and musical, but with an edge that told me she was fully enjoying every bit of this. “Oh yeah, he’s been filling us in. But don’t worry, we’re used to his tall tales. I’m Hattie, by the way,” she added, extending a hand with exaggerated enthusiasm as if we were meeting on the set of a game show rather than in my kitchen.

I hesitated for a beat before shaking her hand, trying to muster a smile that didn’t look too forced. “Nice to meet you, Hattie. I’m—”

“Oh, I know who you are,” she interrupted, her grin widening. “You’re the girl who almost took out my brother. Honestly, I’m impressed. No one’s ever managed to knock him off his game quite like that.”

I glanced at Oscar, who was watching the exchange with an infuriatingly smug look on his face. Maisie’s comment hung in the air, both a compliment and a lighthearted jab. I couldn’t help but feel like I was once again the butt of some inside joke between the siblings.

“Yeah, well, it’s a special talent of mine,” I said, trying to sound casual but feeling like every word was being scrutinized. “Guess I just have that effect.”

Hattie laughed, the sound bright and unapologetically amused. “Oh, I like you already. But hey, if you’re gonna hang out with us, you better be ready for a little friendly chaos. And maybe a few more unexpected collisions.”

Oscar gave a soft snort of laughter, and I could feel his eyes still on me, assessing, teasing, and—annoyingly—almost impressed. I tried to ignore the butterflies that seemed to be staging a full-on rebellion in my stomach. Clearly, this family thrived on playful torment, and I had somehow found myself right in the middle of it.

“Don’t worry,” I said, straightening up and forcing a confident smile. “I think I can handle whatever you guys throw at me.”

Hattie's eyes sparkled with mischief, and she gave me a mock salute. “That’s the spirit. Welcome to the chaos, mate.”

Oscar chuckled again, giving me that damn wink before pushing off from the counter. “Oh, she’s ready for it. Trust me, she’s already made quite the impression.”

The other two girls strolled in, each with their own distinct energy that filled the room. One had a fierce, confident look, dark hair tied up in a messy bun, and a leather jacket that screamed ‘cooler-than-you’ vibes. The youngest, a curly-haired, bright-eyed whirlwind, practically bounced into the kitchen, her infectious smile lighting up the space.

“So,” I said, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the sudden influx of new faces. “I’ve met Oscar, obviously, and… Hattie, right?” I glanced at the girl who had first greeted me, who nodded with a playful smile. “But I’m afraid I haven’t gotten your names yet,” I continued, pointing between the other two sisters.

The girl with the leather jacket gave me a wry grin, leaning casually against the counter. “I’m Edie,” she said, her voice dripping with casual confidence. “The cooler, smarter middle child.”

Mae, the youngest, immediately chimed in, rolling her eyes at her sister. “And I’m Mae, the fun one,” she said with a giggle, her curls bouncing as she hopped up onto a stool. “Edie’s just mad she wasn’t born with my charm.”

Edie snorted, pretending to be offended. “Please, you’re like a tiny tornado of chaos. But yeah, I guess she’s not wrong,” she added, shooting me a smirk. “Mae’s got a way of making everything a little… livelier.”

I couldn’t help but smile at their playful back-and-forth. “Nice to officially meet you all. And thanks for the heads-up on your brother’s antics,” I said, glancing at Oscar, who was watching the exchange with an amused glint in his eye.

“Oh, trust me,” Hattie added, her grin widening as she nudged Oscar with her elbow. “We’ve got years of experience keeping this one in line. You’re welcome to join the effort.”

Oscar threw his hands up in mock surrender. “Wow, ganging up on me already? This is why I never bring girls home,” he joked, though there was a hint of genuine warmth in his voice, like he was more than used to—and secretly enjoyed—their teasing.

Mae leaned forward, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Just wait till we start telling you all the embarrassing stories. Oscar’s got quite a few, and we’ve got no problem spilling the tea.”

Oscar smirked, shifting his weight just enough to close the distance between us, his presence suddenly feeling a lot closer, a lot warmer. He leaned in with a casual ease, his movements smooth and unhurried, as if he had all the time in the world to make me squirm. His voice dropped into a playful, low tone, rich and velvety, each word dripping with deliberate charm. “Oh, don’t worry about them,” he murmured, his gaze locked onto mine with an intensity that made my heart skip a beat. “I’d much rather hear your stories. You’re far more interesting than anything they could say about me.”

The way he looked at me was like I was the only person in the room, his eyes lingering on mine with a bold, flirtatious glint that sent a shiver down my spine. His grin was maddeningly confident, a little crooked, and devastatingly irresistible—the kind of smile that made it clear he knew exactly what he was doing. It was teasing, suggestive, and far too charming for its own good, like he was daring me to blush, daring me to react.

I felt the heat creeping up my neck, a slow burn that spread across my cheeks, making my skin prickle with the sudden awareness of how close he was. My mind scrambled for something clever to say, but his flirtatious tone, the way his eyes roved over my face as if he was reading every reaction, left me tongue-tied. It was like he was peeling back layers with just a look, searching for the part of me that he could fluster with a few well-placed words and that infuriating smile.

I tried to steady my breath, but his proximity was overwhelming. I could catch the faint scent of his cologne—fresh, with a hint of something spicy—and the subtle shift of his body as he leaned closer sent my senses into overdrive. Every nerve seemed to hum in response to his nearness, and I could feel my face burning hotter, betraying me with every second that I failed to look away.

Edie made a gagging noise, rolling her eyes dramatically. “Ew, Oscar, seriously? Can you not flirt for like five seconds? It’s embarrassing.”

Mae giggled, giving Oscar a playful shove. “Yeah, gross. No one wants to see that. Save it for when we’re not around, Romeo.”

Hattie snorted, shaking her head as she watched Oscar with a mix of amusement and exasperation. “He’s always like this. Thinks he’s Mr. Smooth. Don’t let him get to you.”

But Oscar only chuckled, clearly unfazed by his sisters’ teasing. He turned back to me, his grin widening as he caught sight of my flushed cheeks. “Aww, look at that,” he said, his voice soft and teasing. “Did I make you blush? How cute.”

I quickly tried to hide my face, mortification bubbling up as I realized there was no escaping the heat radiating from my cheeks. “N-No, you didn’t,” I stammered, though the pink tint on my face said otherwise.

Oscar’s smirk deepened, and he leaned in just a little closer, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re not very good at hiding it, you know. It’s kind of endearing.”

I could practically feel my cheeks getting even more red, if that was even possible. His sisters snickered behind us, enjoying the show as much as they enjoyed tormenting him.

Mae nudged Hattie, whispering loud enough for everyone to hear, “He’s really laying it on thick, huh? Someone needs to put a leash on this one.”

Hattie snickered and turned to me, giving me an exaggeratedly sympathetic look. “Don’t worry, he does this to everyone. It’s part of his ‘charm offensive.’ Just don’t let him get away with it too easily.”

“Yeah, make him work for it,” Edie added with a laugh. “And don’t let that blush fool you. He’s got enough of an ego without you feeding it.”

Oscar just shrugged, clearly unbothered by his sisters’ ribbing. He kept his eyes on me, his smile softening just slightly. “They’re just jealous because they know I’m right. You really are something else.”

I rolled my eyes, trying to fight the smile that was creeping onto my face despite my best efforts. “You’re impossible,” I muttered, crossing my arms in an attempt to compose myself.

Oscar leaned back, finally giving me a bit of space but not without one last wink. “Impossible’s my specialty,” he said, the playful challenge hanging in the air.

Hattie clapped her hands together, breaking the charged silence that had wrapped around us. “Alright, lovebirds, let’s change the scene before this kitchen gets any steamier,” she said with a sly grin, glancing between Oscar and me. “What do you say we all head out to the pool? It’s hot as hell today, and I could use a swim.”

Mae’s eyes lit up at the suggestion, and she bounced on her toes with excitement. “Yes, please! I’ve been dying to jump in all morning. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Edie shrugged, pushing off the counter. “Sounds like a plan. Beats sitting around here watching Oscar make a fool of himself,” she said, shooting her brother a pointed look that he brushed off with a careless smirk.

I hesitated, caught off guard by the sudden change in plans. The thought of the pool—cool water, bright sun, and lounging with these new, vibrant personalities—was tempting, but my mind immediately jumped to what that would mean: changing into a bikini, being under the sun's scrutiny, and, worse, the idea of Oscar’s eyes on me again, but this time with even less to hide behind.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I said, trying to sound casual, though my heart was starting to race for an entirely different reason now. “Just give me a minute to get changed.”

As I slipped back into my room, I rummaged through my suitcase, finding the bright bikini I had packed on a whim but hadn’t quite planned on wearing in front of a whole audience of strangers. It was a pretty number—a little more revealing than I was used to—but suddenly, the idea of wearing it around Oscar felt daunting. My insecurities bubbled up: the nagging thoughts of whether my stomach was flat enough, if my thighs looked alright, or if the faint stretch marks I tried so hard to ignore would be too noticeable under the bright afternoon sun.

I took a deep breath, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I tugged at the fabric, trying to adjust it in a way that made me feel more comfortable, but the nerves wouldn’t settle. I could already imagine Oscar’s eyes lingering on me, his playful smirk turning into something more appraising, and the thought sent a rush of heat to my cheeks. God, why was I letting this get to me? It was just a pool. Just a bikini. Just Oscar. But the more I tried to rationalize, the more those little fears crept in, whispering doubts that made my stomach churn.

I was so lost in my own thoughts, adjusting and readjusting the strings and trying to silence the negative self-talk, that I nearly jumped out of my skin when a sudden knock rattled my door. My heart leaped into my throat, and I spun around, my breath catching as I called out, “W-Who is it?”

“It’s me,” came Oscar’s familiar voice, muffled but still clear enough to send a jolt of nerves through me. “Just checking to see if you’re alright in there. You’ve been quiet, and, well, didn’t want you chickening out on us.”

His tone was light, but there was something softer in it, something that caught me off guard. It wasn’t the usual teasing or the cocky one-liners I’d grown accustomed to in the short time I’d known him. This felt… genuine. A flicker of concern threaded through his words, almost like he actually cared if I was okay. My cheeks flushed anew, this time from the unexpected warmth of his attention rather than embarrassment.

I sat on the edge of the bed, my fingers fidgeting with the hem of my cover-up as I tried to piece together my swirling thoughts. Was this the same Oscar who had been smirking at me in the kitchen, flirting shamelessly in front of his sisters? The same Oscar who seemed to relish every moment he made me blush or stumble over my words? It was strange, almost disarming, to hear him like this—concerned, attentive, with none of his usual bravado.

My heart fluttered at the thought. What if there was more to him than just the cheeky guy who lived for teasing? I couldn’t help but feel a small, unexpected tug in my chest, an urge to believe that this side of him was real and not just some act. But then, just as quickly, my rational side kicked in, reminding me that I’d known Oscar for all of three hours, most of which had been spent flustered and caught up in his whirlwind of charm.

Was I reading too much into this? Was I letting my own insecurities and wishful thinking color my perception of him? It was hard not to, especially when he swung so easily between flirty and sincere, keeping me constantly off-balance. I barely knew this guy, yet here I was, letting my mind wander into dangerous territory, imagining depth and sincerity that might not even be there.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to steady my thoughts. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions—didn’t want to let a few kind words make me think I’d seen some hidden side of him. But it was hard not to feel flustered when his voice had softened like that, when he’d taken the time to check on me instead of just joking about how long I was taking.

The knock on my door, the concern in his tone—it all felt so different from the playful Oscar who’d swaggered into my life just a few hours ago. Maybe it was nothing, just a moment of decency, a brief glimpse of something real behind the jokes and teasing. Or maybe I was just overthinking, desperate to see something more in him because he’d managed to get under my skin in a way I wasn’t quite prepared for.

I sighed, feeling my cheeks heat up once more as the realization hit me—I was blushing again, and not just from embarrassment this time. There was something about Oscar, something that made me want to believe he was more than the carefree charmer he projected. But whether that was true or just wishful thinking, I couldn’t be sure. Not yet.

“I-I’m fine!” I called back, trying to steady my voice, but it came out shaky, betraying the mix of anxiety and embarrassment that had settled in my chest. “Just… getting ready.”

There was a pause on the other side of the door, long enough that I thought he might have walked away. But then, Oscar’s voice cut through again, softer this time, and with a teasing edge. “You sure? I promise no one’s gonna judge you out there. Least of all me.”

The reassurance felt sincere, but I couldn’t help the way my mind raced with all the what-ifs. What if he did look? What if I didn’t look good enough? What if this stupid bikini made me feel more exposed than I could handle? I glanced at myself one last time in the mirror, trying to summon the confidence that I usually wore so easily, but right now felt like it was hiding somewhere I couldn’t reach.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I finally managed, forcing a smile I hoped he couldn’t hear through the door. “Just... give me a sec. I’ll be right out.”

“Take your time,” Oscar said, his voice fading as he finally moved away from the door. “But don’t take too long. You don’t wanna miss the fun.”

As his footsteps retreated, I let out a shaky breath, trying to collect myself. I ran a hand through my hair, giving myself one last pep talk before heading out. It was just a pool day, I reminded myself. Just a stupid pool day with some new people and a guy who was way too good at making me blush. And maybe, just maybe, it would be fun—if I could get out of my own head long enough to let it be.

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────────────

taglist! @mingyusbigrighttoe @theblueblub @demandealalune @linnygirl09

[t0ast-ghost]

HIIII Episode 10 (Dagger Of The Mind) time! I made it to ten! Now only… one.. seven… twenty… seventy four episodes to go!

Here’s the review:

- remember kids; when trying to beam something down to a penal colony they have to remove their shields first

- that is a whole ass man.. HOW DID YOU MISS THAT WHOLE ASS MAN

- no but seriously even airports can check for human tissue like- I forgot this was made in the 60s I’m stupid stfu t0ast

- “more like a resort colony” my ass, Kirk

- BONES!!! He just kinda stands on the bridge (for no reason) and stares at what’s happening (at Jim)

- wow two redshirts dead in five minutes

- okay Bones walks over to Spock FOR NO REASON and I’m pretty sure he just wants to bicker

- my name is WHAT my name is WHO my name CHICKACHICKA Van Gelder

- why would destroying one control panel kill the ship?!? Design flaw imo

- “that doesn’t ring true” what are you a truth detector? I thought he was a doctor

- I love Bones “going against” Kirk (he’s smiling the whole damn time) and Spock backing him up

- “oh yeah I’m sending down Dr. Noel” REVEAL SHES A WOMAN OH MY GOD

- why’d he need to bring Spock down to the transporter room? Emotional support? He’d miss his boyfriend?

- Lethe? Isn’t that the river of uhhh- ummm ugmmm… I forgor

- I like whatever was happening with the light in Lethe’s eyes

- awwwe Spock and Bones working together

- STOP CUTTING OFF DR. NOEL

- WHY WOULD YOU STAY THERE OVERNIGHT?!? Kirk would NOT survive a horror movie. He’d be first to die (comment down below)

- McCoy is like “Our boyfriend could be in danger, use your damn mind magic”

- OHHH OKAY I SEE WHY VULANS MEDITATE. The words he speaks to Van Gelder are a lot like being lead through meditation

- I LOBE THIS SCENE! The dialogue from Van Gelder, the movements and prompts from Spock, MCCOYS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

- Kirk catapulting into danger right after they TOLD HIM NOT TO

- “and now she’s gone” “helen” I thought he was gonna shout or smt so when he just said “helen” it got me

- you know how this would be so much more tragic? If (canonically) Kirk was dating someone else aboard the ship *cough* you know *cough cough* and then the evil doctor implanted the idea he was in love with Dr. Noel and then him having to deal with the idea of loving both her and the other… anyway

- “Kirk to enterprise.. ughhkghjkk”

- He is literally the worst.. girlfailure

- people are too good at hiding in plain sight

- KIRK NOT AFRAID TO PUNCH A BITCH

- she- she just killed a guy.. good for her

- THE FUCKIN- the sitcom ass look Spock gives Jim like “oh really dr Adams did this”

- MCCOY!!! yeah he’s around. HE’S DEAD JIM MOME- oh no “he’s dead, captain” goddamnit Bones

- “can you imagine the mind emptied by that thing. Without even a tormentor” was a line most definitely meant for Spock and Bones but Dr.Noel saying “I understand” reminds me that she is indeed there not just observing but participating

- Bones just causally leaning against the back of his chair

- does he know? Does he even know that most medical officers don’t normally lean like that against your chair?

- OMG I SAW A POST ABOUT THE “it’s hard to believe a man could die of loneliness” “not when he’s sat in that room” AND THEN KIRK LOOKS OVER TO SPOCK AND SMILES

- he’s so surrounded by loved ones bro is beaming

Anyway all in all a good tenth episode!

I made a master list of all my Star Trek tos thought posts :D

[writerscafehub]

𝙸𝙽𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙳𝚄𝙲𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙰𝚈: @the-iceni-bitch

ೀ ㅤ۫ ㅤ۪ㅤ۫ ㅤ ♡ ㅤ . 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄:

From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

Oh god, a 3.5? I will admit that it’s very hard for me not to downplay myself, it’s what I’m best at. I will say that I have gotten much better as a writer since I took it back up.

2. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

I think probably my dialogue. I find myself able to sink into relationship dynamics quite easily and am able to show a character’s personality through their conversation with other characters rather than just describing it.

3. Are there any writers that inspire you?

Well, I have to give credit where credit is due as @stargazingfangirl18 is the whole reason I started writing fanfic. Other fanfic authors I find myself drawing inspired from would be @angrythingstarlight, @boxofbonesfic, @slothspaghettiwrites, @onsunnyside, and @howdoyousleep3. For my non-fanfic writing I draw a lot of inspiration for Ursula LeGuin, George R.R. Martin, Robert Jordan, and Tolkien of course.

4. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

Definitely In the Pines. It’s so different from anything else I’ve ever written and I honestly love it. It’s so haunting and I’m very proud of the prose.

5. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write and which do you find most difficult to write?

Easiest is absolutely the quadrouple - my Ransom/reader/Ari/Jake kinda polycule that’s part of my No Love Like Your Love AU. I also find it really easy to write for Natasha and her peach from that same AU. Most difficult? Oof, off the top of my head Mike Weiss, he’s just kinda depressing.

6. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

Again, the quadrouple. They’re my comfort characters for a reason. I also just love writing about people in relationships, about them being in love and working through tough times but coming out better for it. I love when two (or more) people are just completely open and honest with each other and do their best to make each other better.

7. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about!

Fic wise all the upcoming stuff for the NLLYL verse, and there’s a lot. But I am most excited about my novel! It has so many characters that I love so much. It delves into stuff I’ve never written before but that I found surprisingly intriguing. And of course, there’s a ton of bangable characters. Blorbos for everyone.

8. First fandom you ever wrote for?

The Chris Evans fandom. I can’t help it, I want to fuck so many of that man’s characters. 

9. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

Omegaverse for sure. Specifically knotting and scent. I just want a giant, masculine smelling animal of a man to fuck me and then have his cock locked inside me for an hour. And the snuggly vibes of nesting and just having a bunch of soft and comforting things around you that smell like someone you love feeds the marshmallow romantic inside me.

10. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

Look, every time I say I’m never going to write for something I end up writing it. But I can hopefully say that scat will never happen.

11. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

Probably the one where Deadpool is stuck in a self-insert fanfic. It breaks the fourth wall and it’s short but it’s weird as fuck.

12. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

Ari and Jake. They’re so soft and sweet and perfect and I am never going to let anything bad happen to them ever.

13. Do you listen to anything while you write?

With my ADHD I have to. It’s usually just the tv though. I’ll put some sitcom I’ve watched a million times on in the background.

14. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

This is kinda tough! I love creating AUs but I feel like those are more a bunch of one shots that just happen to be for the same couples in the same setting. But I also really love the actual series I’ve done. So I’m going to say multi-chapter.

15. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

Constantly! I mean, if I daydream about it I typically add it to my WIPs which is why I have so many. It’s usually just about my characters being happy and living their best lives in some way.

16. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Not yet! I will say I’m a little bit intimidated still about writing for a male reader but after my first foray into it I feel much more comfortable.

17. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I can’t think of a specific one but I’ve gotten a few from people who have told me my fics provide a little bright spot for them and I always enjoy hearing that! There was also an ask I got where someone told me they recommend and discuss my writing more than they do real authors and that felt pretty good.

18. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

This goes back to what I mentioned before but definitely writing for a male reader. The reason I wanted to do it was part curiosity to see if I could do it and part desire to write for an audience I hadn’t had a chance to connect with. It turned out really well and aside from some cliche accusations of fetishization I had a lot of positive engagement.

19. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

Fluff, always fluff. If I do the angst I end up living in it for days and I hate it. (I say this while hosting a giant angst ask a thon on my blog)

20. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

For my fics, aside from my reader characters who in spite of being inserts are basically OCs, there’s the second generation of my NLLYL core group. All the kids are so cute and when they grow up there’s a lot of fun to be had, new romances and I could just go on and on about them. For my novel, oh my god you guys. There’s the Viking pirate sealord, the feminist icon, the super hot himbo best friend, the tiny and fiery lady of the lakes, the sexy villain, the spoiled but handsome prince. And that’s not even all of them.

21. If you could enter the universe of any one of your fics, which would it be and why?

Would it surprise anyone if I said the NLLYL verse? Because that’s the one. It’s like my security blanket.

22. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

Just that I have zero control over where my muse goes. If you’re craving the next installment in a series or an AU I am also craving it, but I’m also not going to force my muse to go somewhere and put something out that isn’t up to my standards.

23. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

“The cold wind whipped through your nightgown and tangled it around your limbs as you stared at the sky in rapture, bathed in the silvery light of the moon like some kind of goddess.” - In The Pines

24. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I just love the community I’ve been able to cultivate in the fic writing community. Not just the members of this server but so many readers who leave thoughtful and sweet comments that always make my day. 

[crazy56u]

Whelp, I just woke up, and (without naming names) I just saw a reaction that I am 100% taking with a grain of salt.

Let’s take a look.

Okay, if they’re bringing up the chip subplot now after it supposedly got resolved, that’s not a good sign.

Also, Ben got fucked out of saving Hannah’s husband. And having seen the synopses for the last two episodes of the season [sidenote, NBC, ya gonna fucking announce a renewal or… …?], long story short, oof.

And we’re at a funeral reading in 1953, and Ben may or may not be the maid.

Okay, no offense, that vase looks like shit.

“Is this a joke?” I know, right?!

Oh, so Daddy was too busy being Indiana Jones to remember how money worked.

“To my fearless Dina-” “It’s Dean.” …misspelling, or deadnaming? Is this a trans plot?

A ship in a bottle, I don’t know if they make those anymore.

And it goes smash. …revealing a map; okay, Ben won this will reading.

Addison, why the fuck do you continue to have the shittiest timing

“Hey, I know we’re supposed to be working, and Ben just leapt in, but you wanna ditch this episode?”

Okay, legitimately, I couldn’t tell if Ian was wearing glasses or not.

“I planned a wedding once. That led to me burying a not-dead man’s belongings in the park; the cops are still nagging me to dig that shit up.”

Yeah, remember, you have jobs?

“Are you sure I’m not rushing you?” You want to get married a day or so after proposing. What do you think?

Like, not to make a controversial statement, but Ross Gellar at least had the foresight to wait a few months.

“Do not wait to live your life. Otherwise, time travel will fuck you over.”

And the horrible vase is dead.

San Patricio… Quick Google search gave me this little number, so my interest is peaked…

…okay, I don’t think Wikipedia mentioned cursed jewels, so fuck me, I guess.

Okay, wait, I just realized: is Sarah played by Veronica from Riverdale?

How much longer until they realize the Accelerator isn’t doing shit, and it’s Ben?

I agree: Family bullshit is less enticing than being Indiana Jones. But unfortunately, it’s this show, so you should already know the punchline.

“[Dean] is the key to all this.” Like how Horace was the key to Halloween Havoc.

I love the Kramer entrance Ben just pulled.

Teamwork makes the dream work, and maybe Veronica can stop bitching.

I love how Will Man is intentionally withholding the lore unless it’s for dramatic moments.

Okay, quick math time; 40 mill in 1953 would be about… almost half a fucking billion in 2024, so…

This looks less like Mexico and more like The Darjeeling Limited.

Who sings opera while biking?

Yes, that’s right, make Addison bring up the wedding now of all places…

“Hey, I know you’re talking to ghosts, but check out the map!”

Well, given how the priest killed for those jewels, blood probably did get on them, so he wasn’t wrong…

That wasn’t “fashion advice”, that was “we’re going on a treasure hunt, don’t overload the fucking suitcase” advice, Veronica.

“Okay, maybe let’s stop deadnaming and let’s get crunk.”

[Okay, how have I not noticed the producer is named “Meg Fister” until now?]

Yes, Jenn, Ian does want to do their job, that’s not a shock.

“Look, if we’re still pretending 2023- now 2024- is supposed to be 2026, then Addison and Tom can get married. That’s the law.”

[I will fucking laugh if my long standing theory pays out, and Ben undoes the time skip.]

“Hey, Rachel, I just said a sitcom line-” “Ian, we are fucked, they remembered the chip subplot.” “I thought we finished that!”

…is Tom a puppet?

And, in a rather appropriate cutaway, we go to the bar.

A bar is not a place to yell, pleas calm down.

“Nadia, where did you learn Spanish?” “From a person who speaks Spanish.”

I don’t like how the bartender is immediately in the know.

And that satchel is going to get taken in 5… 4… 3…

Ben, with that type of scratch, you can change all their fucking lives.

“And what are we doing?” Not looking after a satchel?

Why does their dad look like Santa?

And it’s now a race.

Ben, he was clearly lying about not believing the treasure was real.

Sarah, you don’t just get to decide to abandon the episode after fucking everything up.

“I have a very good memory, and I’m friends with a ghost.”

Sarah, if you hadn’t left the satchel, this wouldn’t be as bad, stop denying fault.

Meanwhile, back in Subplot 2.

Look, Ian, if it makes you feel any better, given how next week involves a leap into the 1980s, dealer’s odds Ben accidentally erases Gideon from the show.

Meanwhile, back to the treasure; this is a packed week for everyone, isn’t it…

Well, this is Indiana Jones coded, so one of you had to do the snake line…

“Well, I am not climbing down that.” Okay, die then.

Okay, you won’t drown, but if you slip, you will break something. Small miracles.

So the jewels are a metaphor- okay, if the plot twist is that the dad hid the jewels back home, due to “home being the real treasure,” I will piss blood.

“Some say it was Saint Patrick. Some say it was Santa.”

Okay, I thought that was gonna be a zombie.

Either bartender wanted to cover his tracks, or bartender is under those rocks.

“Is there another option?” Get to fucking digging.

Sarah, legitimately, stop being a bitch.

God is getting angry now, that’s how much we’re approaching the Family Bullshit Event Horizon.

Okay, that’s peak comedic timing. “THE ROCK’S FAKE! :D”

Dad’s pun fetish, I swear to God.

Stephen King had once again gotten his grubby mitts into an episode of Quantum Leap.

They found the prop wall.

That was not fucking funny, that got me.

…well, I mean, to be fair, the key to all great comedy is misdirection… 🥁

And of course.

[I choose to split this up now.]

[andrewisdoing]

Things Are Happening: 8/15/23

I promised I would write more so, here I am playing catch up.

I have to confess, life really feels like it’s moving. I had a very important interview for a position I’ve been aching for and it went extremely well. I know I probably shouldn’t put this online for the world to see but I’m bursting with excitement. If this all works out, some dreams could come to fruition after all this time, particularly, the big one, moving to NYC.

All this time, people close to me have tried to deter my desire to live there because of rent, rodents and really out-of-it folks but I STILL really want to live there. Perhaps not in Manhattan but in Brooklyn or Queens, where the city is right there but not hovering overhead all the time…even though, I occasionally would love to feel that rush of Manhattan overhead.

People really don’t understand how much NYC means to me. I visited in 2017 and I can still feel that summer/autumn feeling. How the city smelled and how it felt so fresh and new. It felt like the world was opening up to me. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t overcome with feelings of anxiety and fear but once that subsided, I heard the heartbeat of the city and took heed. I didn’t see everything but the things that I needed to see, I did.

New York City is my heart. People say that it’s this shit-hole but the city fostered so many important movements that made our country progress. It allowed artists and weirdos to thrive and survive. Hell, New York provided us with STUDIO 54 and HIP HOP! Think about that! It means so many different things to so many different people but for me, it means being constantly surrounded by history and while, sure, gentrification and unaffordable housing problems are very real (this is sadly still Merica’ after all), it’s probably the one place I feel I can be understood and whole; allowing myself to discover more about myself and where I can go. I know I can change and evolve here at home and I can be ME, mostly anywhere, but nowhere is quite like New York.

I sound like a dreamer, I know, and for the New Yorkers who read this, understand that I’m well aware of a few things:

New York is NOT like it was in the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s or 90’s.

New York is NOT like FRIENDS, LIVING SINGLE, SEX AND THE CITY or any other (amazing sitcom).

New York is NOT for the faint of heart.

New York IS a place for go-getters, dreamers and busy-ass folks. No bullshit.

New York IS a place for fast paced people who move, move, move.

New York IS a place to thrive and “make the city your bitch” … whatever that means.

Oh and it IS a place where you know a majority of folks are broke so, that’s reassuring for my broke ass.

I truly hope everything goes well with this opportunity because one of my dreams will be realized and that would be the coolest thing to witness. I feel so out of body just dreaming about it.

Here’s to dreaming BIG.

[shrekgogurt]

15 questions | 15 tags

thanks for the tags @asocialpessimist @theearlgreymage @johnwgrey @artsyunderstudy @nausikaaa

1. Are you named after anyone?

My great-grandma!

2. When was the last time you cried?

A few days ago while watching Season 3 of Derry Girls.

3. Do you have kids?

No. I still consider myself a baby adult.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Only if it’s incredibly outlandish.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I’m not sure. Probably height?

6. What’s your eye color?

(to absolutely be that bitch with blue eyes…) I always just say blue for documents but idk they might be grey???? is blue hazel a thing???? you tell me.

7. Scary movie or happy endings?

Not scary movies. Endings don’t have to be happy though.

8. Any special talents?

Define special talent. I have talents but I’m not sure any of them are terribly special. I’ve been told I’m good at providing a space for people to be their goofiest self. Does that count?

9. Where were you born?

Hospital.

10. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, listening to music, making playlists, chatting with friends, the occasional video game, singing, dicking around on my guitar/ukulele, watching sitcoms, going down Wikipedia holes, trivia, painting my nails, curating outfits, makeup when I’m in the mood, filming/editing videos and oooooof a recent development is following sports (cringe). Uh oh. Turns out I have a lot of hobbies. Remember when there was that video going around of that guy saying “women don’t have hobbies” I was like—bitch what do you mean??? Then what have I been doing all this time????

11. Do you have any pets?

Not personally (everyone else in my family does so I’m a proud dog aunt, sister, cousin, etc.) but when I can afford a dog myself (tragically allergic to cats) I’ll be insufferable about it.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I never learned how to run correctly, but I used to do competitive dance and then switched to theatre in high school.

13. How tall are you?

5’5

14. Favorite subject at school?

English, History, Choir & Religion

15. Dream job?

Something that gives me enough money to live but doesn’t suck my soul. I would love to have a lot of little odds and ends since I get bored quickly but that lifestyle doesn’t get you health insurance… (fucking United States bullshit)

@fatalfangirl @giishu @hushed-chorus @ileadacharmedlife @larkral @onepintobean @palimpsessed @martsonmars @raenestee @yellobb @cutestkilla @thewholelemon @thewriterxj @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[solomonish]

What Your Favorite Nowdateable Says About You

haha hey, bringing this post back by popular demand (i think? popular demand in my own brain for sure) so i hope u enjoy uwu

warning again for the same type of humor in the last one! these are all things i’d say about myself or my friends dw - warning for simeon’s though, he has a (christian) church mention once  (aside from the whole him being an angel thing...you get it)

demon bros here!

Diavolo

you picked him out in the intro and then experienced a severe sadness when you realized he didn’t have an intimacy system attached to him

you frequently use the “hey king you dropped this” meme (and common variations)

you are the most prone to needing the joke explained to you/laughing without getting it because everybody else is

remember what i said about beel and himbos? same thing applies, only this time it fits the character (more)!

you can’t remember the last time you referred to a (male) political figure without calling them “daddy” 

you have a small group of friends and/or are an only child

“having a boyfriend is like having a dog right? i just have to love him, feed him and walk him yeah?”

last to know the hottest gossip

Barbatos

you’re into Twisted Wonderland

you’re one of those people who only likes side characters, except you take it too far

you do all the work in the group projects

you look like you’ve got your life together, but really you are this close to losing your shit. “your fingers are touching.” you bet they are

you’re scary good at “predicting the future” i.e. learning from your past mistakes and figuring out how a situation is going to play out. it’s like you have espn or something

if there’s a “popular girl” clique or something similar in media you’re routing for the underdog sidekick every time

you’re v e r y independent (probably as a coping mechanism lbr)

you text using (mostly) proper grammar

Solomon

you’re the reason group chats become cursed and implode

you used to trick kids your age into eating paper saying “it tastes like chicken”

deep time: your biggest fear is that none of your relationships are permanent and your friends will all leave you behind one day

not so deep time: you laugh at the kinfecat image every time, no exceptions

[sighs wistfully] oh to live in a 90s sitcom in which i live with my roommates who i am close friends with and i am the character who is the driving force behind 90% of the show’s wacky shenanigans

voted most likely to ghost your friends for a month and start a new group message with an “i lived bitch” moment

you get a scar and you hope it stays so you can tell the story over and over again

you’re kind of into e-boys, but just like a little

Simeon

you’re the friend that isn’t opposed to listening to your friends talk about underage drinking and general tomfoolery, but participating wasn’t exactly your idea of a fun friday night

most likely to have participated in a youth group

you’re either a theater kid, choir kid or band kid (in order of likeliness) and if you tell me you’re not, you’re also a liar

the embodiment of “good kids are just the kids that don’t get caught :)” (or “if i’m good and responsible now they’ll be more likely to let me off the hook later”)

you were/would be involved in as many honor societies and community service clubs as you could be

you were/are a bit of a teacher’s pet

you would never ever use it against them but by god do you have all kinds of dirt on your friends. but don’t worry you’d never use it against them. but you could :) but you would never! but. still. it could happen. but it won’t :)

instead of using emojis you still use :) :o 8) and so on

Luke

you have friends who show affection with that “gently bullies you” mindset and you’re too soft to tell them it actually kinda hurts

you are the mom friend

you stress bake

you have a lot of love but are afraid to show it in fear of coming across as Too Much

you have a vanilla scented candle

your love language is picking up your friends and holding them so gently

the type to always be told “you’re so cute when you’re angry :)”

always underestimated and ready to throw hands about it

[spencers-renaissance]

I'll (Never) Know What It's Like Not to Love You

Summary: Spencer finds his old journals in the attic, and he and Derek reminisce on the days they used to pine for one another. Luckily, those days are over, and they have forever ahead of them.

Tags: tooth-rotting domestic fluff, past mutual pining, past hurt!spencer, cuddling & snuggling, late canon

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1.3k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Happy Bonus Fic Thursday!!! This was written on a whim after listening to "When I'm Older" by Ashe on repeat one morning. I think it's cute though and I do love to give these two a happy ending <3

Spencer has just turned thirty-nine when he finds the journal. It’s only November, but he’d ventured into the attic to dig out the Christmas decorations while Derek was out running errands — he can’t complain about it if he’s not here — and he’d stumbled across boxes full of stuff from Spencer’s old apartment that he took with him when he moved into the house Derek renovated for them.

He finds trinkets and books he’d almost forgotten about, old letters that he never sent, the small remnants he has left of his childhood, and he spends almost an hour sifting through the boxes as he sits on the floor of the loft, barely registering the frigid air around him.

Eventually, he stumbles on the box full of his old journals, and his heart stops at the sight of them. They’re a random assortment of hardback and paperback, colourful and plain, too many different fabrics to count, and they document every day of his life from his first day at university up until around 2009. After he got together with Derek, his life had grown too full and busy to chronicle each and every day, and he switched to only journaling through the really significant moments of his life.

He lifts them out of the box, fingering the spines tenderly as he holds them with the reverence he feels they deserve, until he comes across a fat, purple, leather journal. Jan-June 2004, it says on the spine in Spencer’s neatest print. His stomach tumbles as he remembers what’s written on these pages, and — his world suddenly zeroing into the book in his hands — he opens it.

23rd April 2004

We didn’t have a case today. Derek brought me coffee and ate breakfast with me in the break room and, even though I was smiling the whole time, it hurt so badly. I don’t think I’ll ever not be in love with him. Certainly not when he’s this close to me; not when he looks at me like he did when I knocked the stapler off the desk today; not when he places his hand on my hip and calls me ‘pretty boy’.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I think that the most I can hope for is that in thirty years I don’t still feel like this. Maybe when I’m older, I’ll finally know what it’s like not to love him.

Spencer’s heart clenches as all the emotions he’d felt when writing that entry rush back. Almost all the pages from 2003-2006 are filled with his lamentations about his feelings for Derek. He’d documented other things too at times, if a case was particularly interesting he’d write down his thoughts and observations, and he’d written about the trip he’d taken in 2005 to go and see Diana after the Fisher King case.

Largely, though, he wrote about the way Derek’s eyes looked in the sunshine, the difference in his first and last smile of the day, the gentleness in every strong and powerful muscle of his body. He wrote about the way his heart broke each day at the sight of him, how he would cry at night when the knowledge he’d never know how it felt to be wrapped up in his arms hurt too badly. He wrote about the men he slept with in a vain attempt to forget him.

As soon as the rush of emotions subsides a little, a smile crosses his lips. Tears shine in his eyes as he thinks about how wrong this Spencer was.

He is older now. He wrote these journal entries in his twenties, and now he’s fast approaching being double the age he was then, and still, he has no idea what it’s like not to love Derek Morgan. The only difference is that the hurt it used to bring has been replaced with a kind of joy Spencer never could have expected he would experience.

It’s not something painful he wishes he could forget anymore; it’s the very root of everything so wonderful about his life, and where 2004 Spencer Reid wished he could cut himself open and gut out all the love he held for Derek Morgan, modern day Spencer Reid only wants it to replicate, duplicate, overtake his body until it’s more himself than he could ever be.

⭐️

“I found something interesting earlier,” he tells Derek later.

Their empty pasta bowls are discarded on the coffee table as they sit cuddled up on the sofa and the TV is muted, playing Spencer’s favourite sitcoms across the screen, the sound of the November rain coming down outside filling the room. The Christmas decorations are still in the attic, but the journals are tucked under their bed upstairs.

“What’s that, baby?” He turns his head slightly to see Spencer’s face resting against his shoulder, tightening his grip on his waist, pulling him closer into his warmth.

Spencer looks up to meet Derek’s eyes, and he can’t help but immediately smile. They’re still the same shade of delectable honey brown, still the same ones that melt him every time he meets his gaze, but they’re a little more lined these days. Spencer always tells Derek that age looks good on him, and he means it. He looks older, wiser, safer, and Spencer still wants to melt into his embrace every moment of the day.

“I found the journals I wrote in when I first joined the BAU.”

Derek chuckles lowly, bringing a hand to Spencer’s curls. “Those must have been a good read.”

“They were.”

“What cases did you write about?”

“Not many,” Spencer admits, sliding down the sofa until he can rest against Derek’s chest more comfortably. “I mostly wrote about you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. When I was young and in love and it hurt so badly because I thought I would never have you, the only thing that I held onto was that maybe when I was older, I wouldn’t still be in love with you. And it’s sort of funny, because I’m older now, and if anything, I’m only more in love with you.”

“Oh, baby,” Derek sighs. “We really were a mess back then, huh?”

Spencer laughs. “That’s one way to put it.”

“Penelope was my journal when you first joined,” Derek recalls, tracing his fingertips over the exposed skin on Spencer’s waist where his t-shirt’s ridden up. “I would go into her office at least three times a day when we were home complaining about how much I liked you. And she’d get even more calls if we were on a case.”

“Wait, is that where you used to go when we shared a room? You always used to wander out of the room at random hours making phone calls. I thought it was weird.”

Derek laughs at that, and Spencer likes the way it makes his chest rumble underneath him. “That’s exactly what was going on, genius.”

“When she and Emily come this weekend I’m gonna get her to tell those stories,” Spencer teases.

“Let her,” Derek laughs, “I’m not embarrassed. The whole world can know I was and still am madly in love with my pretty boy, I don’t care.”

Spencer’s heart warms at that, and he marvels at Derek’s ability to still make him soft and mushy after all these years. He sits up properly, shifting up the sofa until he’s straddling Derek’s hips, cradling his face. “I love you so much,” he whispers, leaning in to press his lips against Derek’s.

“I love you more.”

“I’m pretty sure that reading even a single entry of one of those journals could convince you otherwise.”

“Oh, I will absolutely be reading those journals, baby, do not get it twisted.”

Spencer smiles, sliding off his hips to curl up next to him again, resting his head on his shoulder. “You’ve made me so happy, Derek,” he murmurs, connecting his right hand with Derek’s left.

“And nothing makes me happier than hearing that,” Derek murmurs back, caressing Spencer’s thumb with his own. “I’m gonna continue making you happy for the rest of our lives, you know that?”

Spencer sighs, content and warm and loved. “Yeah. I do.”

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @enbyspencer @reidology @i-like-buttons @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @moreidstrobed

[theliterateape]

We Killed Jason Todd

By Matt Markman

In 1988 my friends and I killed a kid.

He was just a boy really. We had help it wasn’t just me and my pals. there were adults involved, lots of them. I mean we were young we were just thirteen and really couldn’t comprehend the ramification of our actions, the adults knew what they were doing. I’m painting it to sound way more sinister than it was, and in today’s society, wouldn’t trend on Twitter but maybe in the ’80s, it was probably considered quite ominous.

To set your mind at ease, it was Jason Todd. You know, Batman's sidekick, The Boy Wonder, Robin—well, the second Robin anyways. And I helped kill him.

I was big into comic books but my favorite was, The Dark Knight, The Caped Crusader, The Batman… He donned the best costume, he had all the money and was the most intelligent of all the superheroes. That last trait right there, the fact that he was considered a superhero and he had no actual super powers made him cooler than the other side of the pillow. You know how The Big Bang Theory has convinced the world it’s an Emmy-winning sitcom worth watching? I think it’s the fact that Batman was someone any one of us could actually be. Sure we needed to start with a base coat of genius followed by a splash of handsome billionaire playboy then train overseas in martial arts for several years, but if you had those things you, too, could be a vigilante. You ask me today and I'd stand by the fact that Batman would beat Superman in a fight, say ten out of ten times. This is not debatable because super beings from another planet are not real.

My favorite thing about Batman, though, is his ability to balance out good and evil. He spawned one of the greatest comic book villains and fictional characters ever created, The Joker. They have tried and tried again but in my opinion never got close to the Clown Prince of Crime—maybe Negan from The Walking Dead, he's pretty ruthless. The Joker is what would happen if a stand-up comedian became a criminal mastermind, so basically the plot of the 2019 film Joker.

My love for Joker made sense because growing up I was always more into the bad guys than the good guys. Watching and playing with G.I.Joe, I was always on the side of Cobra Commander, the twins Tomax and Xamot, and Zartan because they were always more glamorous and eye-catching than the boring ass Joes. Just once, I’d like that “knowing is half the battle” part at the end of the cartoon to have been Storm Shadow giving us kids a tip on how to fuck up Shipwreck and his stupid Parrot. Megatron, Skeletor, Shredder, Mumm-ra…

The list goes on, but the antagonists always resonated with me. they had a much better and more intriguing agenda than the good guys did. I know that wasn't the purpose, we were supposed to cheer on the good guys, like the idea of saving the world and all, but the mayhem… It’s like Alfred Pennyworth said, “Some men just want to watch the world burn.” It’s odd because the bad guys in my life were real, the bullies and I didn't like them at all. They tormented me daily unprovoked because I was short and had big ears. Perhaps my love for the dark side stemmed for my desire to be on that side because in real life there was no Superman swooping in to rescue me from the clutches of Lex Luthor. 

There were two sides, and good had a lack of champions looking out for the weaker, smaller good guys. The bad guys in my neighborhood, well, they were real and never really foiled and more importantly, they always got the girl in the end. Fuck the good guys!

My admiration for evildoers achieving their agenda was tested in 1988, Batman was running a four-part series called A Death in the Family. It was your typical Batman arc. Somehow, The Joker was going to get the upper hand on The World’s Greatest Detective only to be bested in the end by Batman. But this time, the third comic decided to do something nobody had never seen in the industry. The writers were going to give the fans the opportunity to decide where they were going to go with the story, only it was an option between two different roads, one quite unconventional. Apparently a few years earlier, one of the writers, Dennis O'Neil, had seen a sketch they did on SNL where Eddie Murphy held up a Lobster—Larry the Lobster—and was asking viewers to decide whether Larry was boiled and eaten or was to be set free. The choices were offered in the form of two phone numbers both costing fifty cents a call. One number was a vote for him to be freed and the other number was a vote for Larry to be murdered, smothered in butter, and devoured by Axel Foley. Ultimately, after nearly 500,000 calls, the people voted for Larry the lovable lobster to be pardoned with a 12,000 call margin. The popularity of this bit intrigued O'Neil and A few years later he decided to implement it in his Death in The Family storyline.

In the third book, The Joker had taken Batman's sidekick, the Boy Wonder, hostage. He’d beaten him bloody with a crowbar leaving a cliffhanger to be wrapped up in the fourth book. The last page of the comic was full page and at the top read in true ’80s Do the Right Thing fashion: “Robin will die because The Joker wants revenge, but you can prevent it with a telephone call!” They even phrased it to steer you down the hero’s path, like you can literally be Batman with one phone call. Underneath the imploring verbiage were two numbers, dial one number; The Joker fails and Robin lives, Batman would once somehow saves the day. However, call this other number and The Joker succeeds and Robin dies. Gruesomely.

Wow! They were going to let the fans decide the fate of Robin, really this was one of my earliest introductions to a reality voting competition type show. In my opinion, it was a bad idea. Robin was always the worst. Go back and read through an adventure or two involving Jason Todd and tell me he wasn't always whiney and bellyaching. He was never going to be iconic or cool like Bruce Wayne or even his predecessor Dick Grayson—the first Robin. See, Dick got pissed off, decided he was tired of being in Batman's shadow, ditched the Robin costume, threw on a black blue and gold costume, moved to another city and became Nightwing. Dick was a go getter, ambitious. Grayson’s Robin was a winner, Todd's Robin was an irritating little bitch; he was not an innocent lobster.

I went to my mother and asked if I could make a call that was going to cost just fifty cents and I would pay her back or she could just take it out of my allowance. She wanted to know what it was for and mostly wanted to confirm it wasn't for an adult sex line, which costs more than fifty cents a minute, but that’s a different story. It was nothing as tawdry as phontercourse, I just wanted to help murder an annoying teenage sidekick. My mother response was “Oh, yeah, that’s fine.”

I think after it was exposed that it wasn't phone sex anything else I said went in one ear and out the other, surely she didn't think I was actually voting for a plucky comic book sidepiece to be murdered by The Joker. So that’s what I did. I cast my vote along with a majority of DC comic book fans that shared my detest for the boy wonder. Ten thousand votes were recorded with a narrow margin going to Robin dying. I think the writers never suspected that fans would go that route.

O’Neal himself voted for Robin’s stay of execution. A man of his word, Batman issue #429 was released and Robin was killed by The Joker in an explosion and we were to blame for it. Sad to say but you give a bunch of comic book nerds the power I think it would go bad every time. That day we were all proud to be The Joker's henchmen. I felt like a soldier at the end of Star Wars cheering madly while The Joker received his metal shouting, “I helped that happen!”

So many shows these days embrace our fascination with the anti-hero with the success of The Sopranos, The Shield, Breaking Bad, hell Narcos had me rooting for Pablo Escobar—Pablo fucking Escobar. I wouldn't say I was a bad person growing up. Quite the contrary, I was a shy nerd with no power to do anything but pick my books up after they were smacked to the ground. What I’m saying is don't give me the power to make important life or death decisions with your franchise because myself and the other dorks will have the bodies of Orko, Snarf, and Jimmy Olson lying in a shallow grave, just tell me what number to dial… or text.

Matt started performing standup comedy in 2004 in Las Vegas and is now a regular at every major comedy club on the Las Vegas strip. He released his first comedy album in 2016 titled Uncut available on iTunes. More about Matt and his upcoming appearances can be found on MattMarkman.com.

[whatthehelliswrongwithme]

Voltron Part 33

I’ve decided to remain with the “2 episodes per post”-format. So here are episodes 5+6 of season 7! Enjoy! :

Look at em! They’re all in their PJs!

Except for Shiro... Why the fuck are you in your armor?

Is everyone in this universe a tech-genius? Or how else did Krolia just do that battle-simulation?

“Keith, you’re out.” “WhAt??” Love that line-delivery

Awwww. “Kosmo’s Delivery Service” cute (I’ll still call him space wolf)

Keith, how do you want a wolf to tell you it’s name?

Or can *all* space animals just magically talk?

Are we really supposed to believe that this sitcom is the first time, they picked up some random unimportant signal?

Come on. Pidge totally accidentaly saw aliens sexting each other 

Was Kolivan the Boss Kitty? God, I’m really terrible with names

Hunk and Sailor Moon continue bouncing off of each other really well

I just noticed this, but did they seriously not take Stone Cold Bitch with them?

Random Ruins Survivor kinda reminds me of Furry. (I just really miss her! Okay?!)

Sailor Moon, don’t be rude. Also, the entire fucking universe speaks english. Your made up excuses won’t cut it

If each blade is connected to it’s users life-force, then each one must be a unique copy. Whoever does these, must have some seriously ~high prices~ on their etsy-store

Exposition time!!!!!!

Soooo all the Blades of Marmora are dead? Wow! If we had spend more time with them, I’d sure care more about that...

Plot Twist! Random Ruins Survivor is actually a plague-doctor intern!

(And I guess, he's got nothing to do with Furry...)

Space wolf’s teleportation powers are really doing some heavy lifting this episode

Soooooo does this mean, that space witch is pulling her own thing now?

Oh my god. I can’t take this fight seriously. Allura just did a super hero- landing pose and I’m supposed to take this fight seriously?!?

I feel like the camera should show Sailor Moon’s reaction, upon hearing that her colony is gone? You know? Maybe she shouldn't just be barely visible in the background!

Bye Krolia! You seemed pretty cool

.-•-°-•-.-•-°-•-.-•-°-•-.-~☆

Hunk, you puns are almost as bad as the jokes I make

Shiro outright saying that his concienceness got tranplantent into a dead clone of himself was weird. Kinda makes it seem like they body-harvested “Shiro”/Jiro/Kuron, which is a weird thing to do be done by the heroes of the story.

And it probably isn’t even vegan

How long has Allura been a paladin? Probably longer than Shiro was, right?

Honey, don’t blame yourself for not being able to recharge

Shiro feels much less like a core-member of the 5-man-band and more like a mentor-figure now

I don’t know why, but I thought, that they would do a body-switch episode with this energy-blast-thingy they got hit by

You know? Just another "random hijinks-episode" ?

They’re floating apart in space. Great.

Whatever. Just duct tape the lions together

Lance. You’re not making the situation better

They’re stuck alone together in space. Which means, either improv-therapy or they’re gonna get into a huge fight

Or maybe both

These space light-thingys are totally Irrlichter (Translate is offering me:  "will-o’-the-wisp", but I don’t know if thats correct)

Why are they so tired? Can’t they take turns sleeping?

Suprise! Keith is the first one to become crazy

Lance is worried bout Keith. cute. Klance

Okay. It’s version 2. They’re all at each other’s throats

Sweeties, that’s not gonna be the earth

Hunk! good! for! you! for! staying! sane!

Why does it take, the cinnamon-roll being willing to sacrifice themself, for the team to work again?

Oh look. It’s a Plance

Awwww. Look at em being excited about home

(Everything will have turned shit? Won’t it?)

[disisphlebotinum]

Meryem - Episode 4

You know how some people edit before they post? We don't do that. We will never do that. Merry Typos, Folks.

We left off with me trying to pretend that Darin and Douchebag don’t exist and the show giving me the middle finger.

Is Husband dreaming? Because that sunlight is too damn bright to make be believe it. Oh yeah he dreaming, and it hurts. The way it bounces between Meryem and the old chick is like so much. This poor ass dude.

I don’t believe Darin really called anyone.

Why do we always have to make Ayca cry? I mean have yall seen her smile? It’s life changing. Give me a show of that.

Lol, Darin lying to the police.

How the fuck was there a wedding dress already?! They got engaged and she like died the next day or something. This is basically just torture-Meryem-porn and I don’t like it.

I feel like Meryem and the cop chick could be buddies if they would just talk.

Shit, I’m going to learn the brother’s name this episode and then I’ll learn the Cop’s name next episode.

Do Darin and Douchebag hook up by the end of this or are they wasting my time existing?

Of course Husband is already saying Meryem’s name in his sleep.

Every second spent with me not beating Douchebag’s face in for trying to convince Meryem that she could ruin anything is a second wasted. Please just let me rip the mustache off his face! It probably won’t hurt that much. The adhesive can’t be that strong.

Savas not believe Darin’s lies makes me happy. A small gift in this shitshow.

Meryem asking Douchebag real questions makes me very happy.

NO BABA!

Douchebag telling Darin’s secret to Meryem. Alright. I guess he had his purpose. He can go now.

I’m almost a half hour into this episode and no one has let me see Guclu yet. What’s up with that?

I’m glad Douchebag’s mom knows he is trash.

Finally! I get to Guclu’s face!

Guclu and the cop want to bang so bad.

Meryem’s dad being helpless is making me feel helpless.

The way I have no problem with Meryem protecting Savas but want to set fires over her protecting Douchebag. We’re not going to unpack that.

The Cop and Meryem need to be having conversations!

Why do people keep calling the Douchebag?

I don’t understand why the dude cop person is helping Douchebag.

Ayca is beautiful and very good at her job. I need to see something other than her crying!

Husband has a plan! Confident Savas kind of scares me though. Like, the dude is so sure and then something is going to spontaneously catch fire again.

Can we please get Meryem a real friend?

Wait… is this my first bit of real queerdom in my Turkish programming? Because that chick was checking out Meryem. And I am all for it.

I wonder if this chick will end up feeling guilty enough to just tell Meryem that she has been boning her boyfriend.

I don’t t think that will happen anymore. I wish it would have.

I love a little sister who says don’t marry a bitch to make our father happy.

It is really hard for me to believe that Savas’s parents were every together in any way shape or form. They seem like they are from different planets.

I just want Meryem to have one real friend! Maybe Guclu can be Meryem’s friend.

Mentally I am kicking Douchebag in the stomach over and over again.

He has such a husband face when he looks at her already! How am I supposed to handle him just KNOWING she is innocent and fighting even her on the matter?!

Lets play the Dis gets to smash out a Douchebag’s teeth challenge!

Is it going to be physically possible to cope with them being into each other? I mean, she’s scared like 90% of the time and their chemistry is already trying to kill me.

Then they bring me back to Baba and Douchebag as a way to punish me for ever having interest in this show in the first place.

I feel like Guclu and Batu from Ada Masali would be great in a sitcom together.

I need better for Meryem’s father. I’m not going to get it. And I hate the world.

Just let Guclu bang the cop! Please just put us all out of our misery.

LET ME MARRY GUCLU THOUGH

THE MAN IS SMART! ALWAYS ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS! LET ME AT HIM!

Guclu is a man who deserves to get blown.

Guclu knowing Darin is lying. And I like how he doesn’t support Savas knowing Darin is in love with him and not setting boundaries. I actually really don’t like that about Savas, because now he is willfully hurting her and being a dipshit about it. Even if I don’t like the bitch, I don’t appreciate people fucking with each other’s emotions as if it’s a normal thing to do. Guclu might be the perfect man.

Douchebag pretending like he is in love with Meryem is giving me literally stomach pain. It is so gross.

I really hate that Meryem thinks she has even a hint at a friend.

I don’t feel bad for Beliz. I mean I do because people make irrational decisions for love, but she knew this dude was in a relationship no matter what lie he keeps telling. The fact that he didn’t immediately break up with Meryem for her means he never will. She basically let him set up her own heartbreak.

Is that Savas’s mom with Meryem? If not that lady looks like her.

Darin and Douchebag will be in love at some point or they are a waste of characters.

Set Douchebag’s mustache on fire challenge!

Husband straight up having premonitions of his future. KILL ME!

Guclu narrating his stalking of Meryem like it was a soccer match was the most adorable greatest thing a dizi has ever given me.

The amount of times I have stabbed Douchebag in my head is concerning.

I actually have nothing but pity for Darin right now. So much so that I forgot for a second that she kicked a woman out in the middle of the road while it was raining.

Husband vs. Douchebag. Please tell me it gets violent!

[wormstacheangel]

What are the best episodes with Castiel to watch?

Hello! Sorry, this took me a while to answer but here you go! If I miss some it’s cause I don’t remember anything or I was just Bleh about it.

Castiel Epiosdes

4x01 ICONIC 

4x16 ICONIC

4x20 Jimmy is important to Cas and I love him. 

4x22 ICONIC Greenroom. Cas picks a side aka Dean.

5x03 Cas and Dean being friends! Gay panic is real my friends. 

5x04 THE END. “It's the end, baby. “

5x13 “Sam is my friend.” 

5x14 Cupid (He made a cameo video it was cute) and Cas eating raw meat off the floor.

5x16 “You son of a bitch! I believed in-” OWW

5x17 Drunk Cas.

5x18 At this point he’s just done with everything. So he just carves, YES CARVES, an angel banishing sigil into his own chest. He does not hesitate.

Season 6 is good for Cas because the whole time he’s apart of a civil war and is just a terrible liar.

6x06 I am trying not to make this list about Destiel but the scene where Cas pours Dean’s drink. 

6x10 Pizza Man.

6x19 Baby in a trenchcoat aka leader of the heaven rebellion but sure Dean. He’s just cute. 

6x20 ICONIC 

6x21& 22 Both show that Cas is slowly realizing that he is not in control. 

7x01 The whole episode is wild but Cas just going to heaven and saying I’m Daddy now really takes the cake. (not the actual words he used.)

7x02 Cas’s death #3?

7x17 MISHA -- OH um, I mean CAS to the rescue lol

7x21 His cute little laugh! Honey!Cas has my heart and soul. Bonus Destiel: “ When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!” RIP Hester Queen

7x23 “Cursed or not.” Also his little smile when he asks for the plan ahh!

aka all episodes in s7 with Cas in it is worth watching.

Okay, I’ll try to control myself now but watch all of s8 cause its beautiful.

8x02 We see Dean’s POV to the purgatory portal scene. Also, hear Cas’s reason for leaving Dean.

8x07 We see Cas’s POV of the purgatory pov scene. Also, learn how Cas escapes purgatory. 

8x08 “I’m gonna be a hunter.” He’s so CUTE!

8x10 Cas needs a hug. Please.

8x17 ICONIC. “what broke the connection?” AHH

8x21 Badass Castiel

8x22 & 23 Castiel wants to do good. He wants to help but he just puts his trust in the wrong people. It hurts me so much. Look he’s just a small child and he is dealing with a lot right now. 

Season 9 Cas looks good. Like fanservice time father of two!

9x01 First look at human Cas!

9x03 I can’t watch this ending again. It’ll make me spiral. But it’s a good human Cas and destiel episode. Also, fuck April. She gross. 

9x06 ICONIC BLESSED jilted lover. 

9x09 He looks good.

9x10 “I prefer the word trusting. Less dumb. Less ass.” They are both dumbasses.

9x11 Sam & Cas chaotic vibes

9x14 Cas storyline with the angels starts or at least makes it more clear idk

9x18 Gabriel! Also, “Damn it, Dean!” and Cas accepts his role as a leader. The angels are dumb. 

9x22 Sam & Cas dream team lol Also, Cas picks Dean over heaven again.

9x23  “--and for what again? Oh, that's right -- to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Well, guess what. He's dead, too.”

10x01 Cas draped across the bed like a victorian lady waiting for her husband to come back from the war

10x03 You know that scene where he’s lying on the floor bloody and dying and the Crowley saves him. And then Cas glows and heals with grace and he’s glaring up at Crowley? You know that scene. Yeah. Bonus: I’m gay and bloody Hannah is also hot. Small tip: Ignore the creepy/gross Hannah and Cas set up the writers are trying to do. They are siblings. 

10x09 Claire! That’s his daughter!

10x10 Claire and Cas make me cry.

10x14 Deleted scene of “Maybe he’s your boyfriend.” 

10x17 Sam & Cas! They are best friends, you guys!

10x18 Charlie and Cas meet! AND THEY ARE ALL HAPPY AND I CRY

10x20 Claire! Cas get’s her a birthday present, grumpy cat stuffy, and she keeps it! And I cry. And she saves him. And she cares about him. 

okay 10x21 cause of Charlie and Cas but also fuck this episode. Charlie deserved better. 

10x22 ICONIC gosh damn it. I-

10x23 Just for backstory for Cas in s11. Our poor boy can't catch a break. 

I worked on this for two hours now Nonny and I don’t even care. I miss Cas.

Season 11 hurts my damn soul because of Cas. I won’t include Casifer, though it was A LOT of fun to watch him.

11x01 “Dean, did it work?” I wanna hold this poor sad madly in love man. 

11x02 I can’t handle the torture. He looks so sad.

11x03 Bless you director, Jensen Ross Ackles.

11x04 Okay, not a lot of Cas but I love this episode. 

11x06 They don’t talk about his trauma but they show us a little when he tries to leave the bunker. And I cried. Once again. Let. Me. Hold. Him. 

11x10 Ambriel glad you are dead cause you were SO rude. Also, Amara girly, queen, I love you but apologize. Stop being mean to Castiel.

11x22 Cas get’s to talk and that’s nice

11x23 “I can go with you.” Sir, you just came back from being possessed by THEE satan and now you are ready to die by your future husband's side. You need therapy. 

Okay, I stopped watching live after season 11 because of the way they treated Cas so these next seasons I binged watched ( a couple of times) but wasn’t apart of the fandom so it feels like I didn’t fully grasp them. But here we go!

12x01 Cas meets his mother-in-law. Also the little, “Dean!” when he hugs him. 

12x02 Cas and Mick :)

12x03 Agent Beyonce and Zee lol Cas and Crowley and should have had a sitcom 

12x08 Cas gets a text (angel radio) that he’s gonna be a Dad and it looks like when Alice had a vision of the Volturi in Breaking Dawn Part 2 lol

12x09 Let me hug Cas! He’s sad over his family being gone. Also, Mary, I love you but I don’t forgive anybody for being mean to Cas. All the Winchesters are on thin fucking ice with me. 

12x10 ICONIC destiel. Cas in a female vessel. 

12x12 ICONIC “I love you. I love all of you.” 

12x19 Worried husband Dean. Excited soon-to-be father Cas.

12x23 Cas dies (again) from child birth.

Watch the first few episodes of season 13 for the famous widower arc cause wtf they gave us THAT. Also, I don’t care for the other world storyline so I pushed that out of my head. 

13x04 Cas annoying a cosmic entity. Fun fact! I dislike the trenchcoat cause it looked so stiff and the color was off idk didn’t look great but Cas looked beautiful when he looks up at the sun! Ah!

13x05 IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN

13x06 ICONIC BROKEBACKNATURAL Also, Jack and Cas meet and I cried damn it. “I missed you.” That’s his son!

13x07 Cas doesn’t put anybody or anything above his baby boy

13x12 Cas has the dumbest husband but at least Cas stabs lucifer. Bet Misha felt good

13x14 Badass Cas. He’s a top. lol 

13x16 ICONIC Cas looks...great. Like, watch it. I would do anything for cartoon!cas

13x19Just cause Cas faced someone who tortured him and it’s made to seem like he should get over it and it pisses me off. But Naomi is so cool so idk I like her but would fight her

13x22 Otherworld Cas is there and Cas just kills himself. He needs therapy. 

13x23 Cas’s face when Dean says yes. Also, family hunting trip yay

14x01 Dadstiel! Also, Cas looks good. 

14x03 Dadstiel.

14x07 Dadstiel. “Losing a son feels different.” And I cry. 

14x08 “because I love you Jack. And Sam and Dean--they love you.” THEY DO LOVE HIM AHHHH! Also, Empty deal is made as an excuse for the writers to do something with Cas later. 

I just realized season 14 is just Cas trying desperately to keep his family together. He’s trying to take care of them and he has the right words to say to everyone but not much happens besides him wanting to be a family man. 

14x14 gay on gay violence lol Also another family hunting trip! 

14x15 Fav episode! I just love Sam & Cas’s dumb chaotic energy in this ahaha! They are best friends damn it!

14x18 Cas is trying desperately to keep his family together and he feels responsible for Mary

14x19 Cas should have been allowed to kick Sam and Dean’s dumb flat asses for locking his baby boy in a box. 

14x20 AHHH

Divorce arc! All of s15 is great! Except you know...19&20 but we ignore that in this house. 

15x03 ICONIC but I will never watch it again

15x06 dude, they really be broken up. Cas kicks ass by himself and he’s fishing and he’s so cute. 

15x09 ICONIC Let him talk, Castiel!

15x11 Cas is THEE best Dad and let’s Jack eat hearts

15x13 Just for the family.

15x15 :(

15x17 Cas working to keep his baby boy

15x18 :( I mean at least he’s out but :(

Okay, this took me all day and I had fun! Nobody is gonna read it but who cares cause I just spent my day thinking of Cas when I had a pretty shit day so thanks, Nonnie! 

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

Episode 2 reaction

Glad to see I still have the onion gun, even if Sam is using it on Max.

Judging from her show on the TV Myra reminds me of my conservative great aunt

Omfg they kept Brady Culture's hair

I had Sam interact with a bent parking meter and apparently Max destroyed their old car?

"Psst! It's me, Bosco." A true master of disguise.

"Sam, what language is he speaking." "I'm not sure, but I think it may be... English." "(Gasps)"

I like that the bathroom in Bosco's has a Max on the door. He's his own gender.

Nakey rat stole the shaving cream and drove off in a toy car!? His friend is shooting at us with a gun that's almost as tall as him.

OK so we're not giving Bosco back his shaving cream???

Sybil is a magazine publisher now?

Aw, she's happy to see the boys ♡

"The alien love triangle times"

I really appreciate her... style of decor.

She was a Vatican spokesperson?!

"--although I support you as a friend--" they friends ♡

Dr. Phil is an alien now I guess 👽

"Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder how you'll CRASH AND BURN"

"We're highly untrained police officers."

"I feel so invalidated!"

Aw, Max wants to be a sitcom star. Baby you already the 🌟 of my heart.

Lol of course Old Yellow would be a horror movie for Sam

"Yes, boy, that is so me!" Trans rights 💛

Ooh that's why we kept the whip cream, so Sam can go Cugo

Shoot your bf with an onion so he can become a celebrity

How did he fit his anti brainwash helmet under his hat!?

CHICKEN IN A VEST CHICKEN IN A VEST

I know it's prop poop but no chicken NO!

No Max, don't fanboy over the obvious cult leader!

Oh God, Hugh's voice creeps me tf out.

"That's unspeakably depraved!" Max, honey, what were you thinking about?

Myra's whole issue with "can I, may you" gave me flashbacks of a bitch of a teacher I had in elementary school.

"You're seriously deficient alright."

Oh no the soda poppers are back!!!

Max and Sam are wearing chef hats ♡

Omg poor Sam had to count all the food stamps...

Whizzer the way you eat is disgusting!

Oh God all the ketchup on his face look like blood

Yeah... Myra reminds me a LOT of my conservative great aunt.

Burn that teddy bear! ...or skin it like a furby

Max can talk to Myra about Sam ♡

He's so proud he that he can crack Sam up ♡

Yay the bear is dead! (And the audience is free too I guess)

Aw, they're going to go cook lunch together. I'm sure it won't cause any offscreen hijinks, after which hilarity ensues.

[lifesucksheres20bucks]

Thoughts I had for episode 4 of WandaVision

***SPOILERS***

- the ep title is so smart oof

- Omg WERE SEEING THE DUSTING (blip if you will)

- I’m so happy were seeing how this happened bc we never did in Endgame

- The chaos of billions of people coming back must of been crazy

- Omg they don’t remember anything they don’t realize what happened

- Oh no :((( Maria died

- Rip queen you were a badass

- I have so many questions about the blip lol like the chaos

- God the opening marvel credits are such a source of comfort for me

- Finally seeing SWORD in all its glory

- Lmao monica is like i will go back to work with no issue at all

- CAPTAIN Monica Rambeau bitches

- So 3 weeks post blip (Endgame) hmm

- Looks like wanda wasted no time to create her reality

- Maria built SWORD :’)

- TERRESTRIAL MISSIONS ONLY???? what was monica doing before????

- Captain :’)

- No offense but why would Wanda choose to settle down in NEW JERSEY

- Jimmy woo!!

- HE DID THE CARD TRICK HE WANTED TO KNOW FROM ANT-MAN :’)

- So a missing person no one has ever heard of

- Wait, Westview doesnt exist????

- Hmm

- I’m not sure if it actually doesn’t exist or something is weird

- Jimmy claims the town doesnt want anyone to go in hmm

- So drone chopper uh

- I’m guessing the drones become the helicopter we see afterwards

- Maybe dont touch the energy field? Monica: no✨

- DARCY

- I LOVE YOU

- I MISSED YOU

- DOCTOR LEWIS YES BISHHHH

- god i missed her wittiness

- CMBR sexy science terms im going to forget the meaning of

- Lmao they just happened to have that old technology lying around to see the broadcast

- Ahhhhh, here we have our beekeeper pre beekeeper

- Jimmy ily

- Everyone should listen to jimmy

- Jimmy just wants friends :’)

- THEY REALLY GAVE US THE “WHAT ARE YOU WEARING” AGAIN HUH

- OKAY DARCY we get it, vision is dead :(

- The director guy is getting on my nerves

- Why u so rude

- “The universe created a sitcom starring two avengers” — i love that

- SOMEONE GET HER A FREAKING COFFEE

- Darcy is all of us watching Wandavision

- So everyone is a real person

- The only one they didn’t identify is agnes hmmmmm (i mean i know all the theories lol this makes sense)

- Darcy and jimmy! The duo i didnt know i needed

- So yeah the drones become toys but we still dont know why its in colour

- Monica has a speaking part now lmao im loving this

- The radio scene is a bit different from Swords Pov. Like it jumps but in ep 2 we see wanda looking at the radio and zoning out hmmm

- So Dr. Darcy is the reason they know so much lmao shes the only valuable one thank you

- Lol skipping rope

- ✨no✨

- Darcy and jimmy are just binge watching some Wandavision so relatable

- Omg so everyone is like lets not mention ultron

- Omg it legit just completely skipped the yeeting

- WHOS CENSURING THE BROADCAST??? AGNES??? MEPHISTO??

- Ugh im so happy we got to see wanda and monicas interaction before monica got kicked out

- Wanda seemed surprised of herself

- Uh

- DEAD VISION

- DEAR GOD

- SO its clearly wanda making this reality like this is a fantasy brought to life

- Yes thank you monica for confirming

- Vision seems uh worried

- This is so meta watching a tv show about them being in a tv show while they are also watch tv lol

SOOO i feel like we got so much info yet nothing lol

Like the wanda vision story didnt continue but im really happy we got to see SWORDS pov. (Even tho most of the info just confirmed our theories lol)

So happy to see jimmy and DOCTOR Darcy again!

Ugh this was such a good ep definitely a more typical mcu one!

Loved all the callbacks And im very excited for next friday!

[rocinawanda]

WandaVision - 1x08

SPOILERS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

HOLY SHITTTTTT I HAVE WANTED THIS FOR 6 YEARS AND THEY GAVE IT TO ME IN AN ENTIRE EPISODE. blessed. I am genuinely speechless. Best episode of the season, I cried like 5 times I love Wanda so much let’s go.

Travelling back through Wanda’s past and all the trauma she has faced, I knew we would get to it but I am still vibrating with excitement it was great. All the way back to her parents death in Sokovia and the unexploded Stark bomb (OHMYGOD), it was all displayed exactly how I imagined it after watching Age of Ultron in 2015 and I am losing my mind. The callback and reveals of Baby Witch Wanda and the connection to sitcoms was everything.

Approaching it through the act of Agatha wanting to know who the hell Wanda is and how she has so much power is great and I have to mention the beginning in Salem and seeing Agatha’s background, yep. She is a stone-cold Witch with a capital W. But if she doesn’t get away from Billy and Tommy I swear, she better let them go.

That just reminded me that I spent most of this episode yelling ‘AHH’ and ‘THEY SAID THE THING’ because “Scarlet Witch”, “Where Are My Children?”, I may have yelled a little too loud.

Before I get sidetracked focusing solely on Wanda I have to say Hayward you BITCH you LIAR. Wanda didn’t steal Vision’s body (that scene was so sad when she couldn’t feel him oh my god I’m gonna cry again), he just wanted to power Vision’s body up again with Wanda’s magic but this version does not look right there is nothing of the original Vision in this blue zombie body.

Back to my baby girl Wanda. This episode was so sad I cried so much, I grieve for her. She has been through so much. I love that they showed her in Strucker’s experiments in HYDRA and her connection to the Mind stone. She literally saw what she would become! It was beautiful! Showing Wanda and Vision in the Avengers compound after Pietro died to Wanda grieving looking at the house in Westview she and Vision were going to share. Break my heart Marvel, go on.

But WOAH Wanda’s power. It just burst out of her grief and she literally manifested Vision out of her own being and her connection to the Mind stone as well as creating the Hex around Westview. Insanity. I love her. Best episode of WandaVision for me for obvious reasons, this I will be re-watching over and over to make sure I didn’t miss any hidden details.