#so the babies are Fred and Xavier

[theres-one-nine-letter-word]

Headcannon: Vanessa Doofensmirtz reuses her dad's songs to Perry as lullabies for her kids. (Sorry for the bad quality, there's an image description under the cut)

Image description: blurry picture of an older Vanessa Doofensmirtz standing over a crib containing two babies. Her hair is in a ponytail, and she is wearing trousers, ankle boots and a t-shirt. There is text around her with the words to the Phineas and Ferb songs goody two shoes brother, surrounded by musical notes.

[xstarrgirllx]

mystery solved

xavier thorpe x outcast fem!reader

summary: bianca is having a halloween party in the quad and you and your friends go as the scooby gang.

warnings: best friends to lovers, throat fucking, p in v (no condom), reverse cowgirl, groping, hair pulling kink, hand kink, size kink, squirting, name calling; baby, bunny, & slut, not proof read, most likely misspelling.

writers note: i’m not good at smut so it kinda sucks but i got inspired by a tiktok

—-

becoming friends with xavier was the best thing you could’ve ever done. he was everything you could ever want in a best friend and more. you’ve two known each other for only 5 and a half years but it feels like longer. you grown up together. you went through puberty together. through all the hard times. you stuck together through whatever and it would always be that way.

and tonight was the night. halloween. what everyone has been waiting for. mostly because bianca has been raving about how fun the party is going to be. and partly because of the fact that it was the girls time to wear something sexy and the boys time to openly ogle at them.

you were really excited because this year you, xavier, yoko, ajax and enid were all gonna be the scooby gang. you were velma, xavier was shaggy, wednesday was scooby, enid was daphne and ajax was fred. enid had to beg wednesday to be scooby because her costume was a onesie and had color.

after 2 days of begging and puppy dog eyes from enid, wednesday eventually gave in. how could she not. she was in love with her. they were perfect for each other. you wish you had something like that. every guy that’s ever liked you just wanted to get in your pants. you kinda gave up on trying to find someone. if it was meant to be, he would come to you.

you were putting on your orange thigh high socks when xavier comes in. “heyy, you ready?” “almost” you respond. “like my outfit?” you ask teasingly. your red pleated mini skirt and tight orange long sleeve shirt showing off your curves in the best way possible. “it’s very revealing.” “ but it’s cute, don’t ya think?” he stalks closer to you and holds you close to him “of course bunny.” you loved that nickname.

he said he called you that because of how little you are compared to him. but you knew he liked it. xavier always found a way to tease you about how short you are but if you think about it you really aren’t that short. he’s just massive. you would be lying if you said that that didn’t make you hot though.

and the fact that you two were always touching didn’t help. you knew he was handsome. anyone who had eyes knew he was handsome. you didn’t necessarily like that others found him attractive too but it’s not like you could do much. you were just best friends.

he sways you both side to side. “xaviii we gotta go. we’re gonna be late.” “okay okay, hurry up.” you rush to put your red mary janes on and grab xavier’s hand running out of the door. “this is going to be the best party ever.” “yeah” he slowly replies looking you up and down. having to stop himself from palming his growing erection.

you guys met the rest of the scooby gang on your way to the quad. enid smirks “oh velma i think you dropped your glasses.” the blonde hits your glasses on the ground. “careful, i don’t want them to break.” you bend down to pick up, unknowingly in front of xavier. he eyes your bent form for a little too long. neither of you noticing the looks between the others.

they all knew somehow, someway you two would get together. enid could see how you look at the tall boy. admiring him. she knew of your ‘not so secret’ secret affections for the boy behind you. “come on, let’s party!” ajax yells as you put your glasses back on and walk into the loud room.

you’re all welcomed with hundreds of students dancing. yoko and divina were by the drinks, of course making her famous mojitos. bianca was flirting with some guy in our grade and kent was dirty dancing with a vamp.

you make your way to yoko and divina. “heyy how are you guys?” “great” they both answer. “how about you y/n/n?” “good but i could be better. if only i had one of the best mojito in my hand right now.” you hint. “coming right up.” yoko chuckles.

a boy with dark black hair and suit on joins you. josh. “hey y/n, would you like to accompany me to a dance?” “uh no thanks.” you turn away disgusted by his attempts. “you sure?” he grabs at your wrist. “yeah i’m sure.” you rip your arm away from his tight grip and make your way back to xavier.

he was sitting down on the ledge of the water fountain. “hi shaggy” you run your hand through his hair. “hi velma” he pulls you on his lap and you put your hand around his shoulders.

a new song starts to play and you start to move to the beat. smiling, laughing, talking, drinking. you were tipsy but you were having fun. you hadn’t left xavier’s lap. though he had to calm you down before you feel him rock hard against you.

just the idea of your clothed heat moving up and down his cock made his mind go wild. he places his hands on your waist. you don’t notice and he tights his grip on your skirt, accidentally making it rise. you look back at him catching his gaze as he stares at the skin of your ass. “you okay?” that’s when you realize that there’s something hard under you.

xavier quickly let’s go of your hips and acts like he wasn’t looking, but you knew. maybe it was the alcohol or the loud music making your heart race but you put his hands back on your skirt and slowly lift it up. giving him a better view without letting anyone else see. you twist around and kiss him. he immediately kissed back, tightening his grip.

you start grinding against him making him even harder if that was possible. you pull away and start kissing his neck. he whimpers but low enough for only you to hear. “we shouldn’t be doing this.” “you’re right” you agree but you don’t stop your actions. after marking him with a few purple bruises you begin palming his erection with your hands.

“i want you” you truthfully let out. “but-“ you cut xavier off and kiss him again. continuing to palm him, you unbutton his tan cargos. looking around to make sure no one was looking at you two before pulling his cock out. at least you thought no one was looking but did it really matter. everyone was drunk and most likely wouldn’t remember.

but this is something you want to remember. “bunny…” you move your small hands up and down his shaft making xavier groan. he bites your bottom lip causing you moan into his mouth. “fuck” he throws his head back. you turn back around and rub him against your clothed pussy.

“god you feel so good. gonna be so tight” he moves your panties to the side and grinds against you bare. his top hitting your clit with each push. you couldn’t stop whimpering. you didn’t even care that you were in public now.

xavier lifts your hips up right above his and slams you down on cock. before you could scream, he places a hand on your mouth and turns your head to look you in the eyes. “don’t want anyone to know what we’re doing right?” he lets go the second you nod.

he starts to snap his hips against yours. feeling him deeper. “be quiet.” he tells you firmly. you start to feel desperate. you want more. you need more. this wasn’t enough. you suddenly get up off of him and tuck him away before grabbing his hand.

“what are you doing?” “finding a better spot shaggy.” you inform him and run to the closest bathroom. locking the door behind you. he pulls himself back out and bends you over again. “you don’t know how long i’ve been waiting to fuck this cunt.” “then do it.. please” “aww my little bunny” he gropes your ass.

impatiently you push back against him. xavier wanted to take his time with you but was just as needy as you. groaning as he pushes back into you. “i love this pussy” you smile at the compliment and start fucking your self on him. “yeah just like that.”

“you’re so big” he wasn’t your first but damn was he the biggest. you have never seen anything bigger than 6 inches and he seemed like 8. he takes hold of your hair and pulls you back against him. bucking his hips up into yours. your eyes roll as you hear the slapping of your skin. his balls hitting your clit perfectly.

you moan and can’t help but clench around him. “such a tight pussy. all mine.” “yeah yeah all yours.. xavii” you start to lose yourself in the pleasure. he fastens his pace and you begin to see stars. “fuckk i’m gonna-“ the tall boy cuts you off now “i know baby. do it. cum around my cock.” it was too much. you couldn’t handle this much.

you black out for a few mins as xavier fucks into you, trying to find his own release. “oh bunny, you squirted on me.” he tells you, watching through the mirror as you come back to reality. the over stimulation was becoming painful good. you start to feel another pit in your stomach. building faster and faster by the second. next thing you know you’re squirting all over xavier once again.

“god just making a mess all over my cock. aww is it too much for you baby?” he pouts and feigns sympathy. “xavi-“ your eyebrows furrow. “just one more time baby. you can do it for me.” “wanna swallow” you moan out. “fuck, you’re such a slut for me. gonna swallow every last drop like a good girl, huh?” he asks you roughly slapping your ass.

he hits you a few more times due to you being too caught up in pleasure to answer. “answer me.” “yes! yes i’ll be a good g-girl” “good. now kneel.” you gain enough strength to pull yourself off xavier and on your knees. you start to kitten lick at him but that wasn’t enough. “come on baby. you can do better than that.”

you slowly lower your head on his cock. you moan at the taste of yourself. “is my bunny to dumb to suck me like a good girl?” you shake your head while he’s still inside you. but he knew you were lying. “hm lemme show you how good girls take it.” he takes your hair in his hand once again and starts to ravishly fuck into your throat.

you feel his cock twitch in your mouth meaning he was close. your breath gets caught and you start to gag. saliva running down your chin and onto your shirt. xavier didn’t care though. at least not right now. right now was his time. he was giving you what you want. your nose hits his pelvis and he cums down your throat. “fuckk bunny. did so good for me. took it so well.”

he pulls you off his cock and rubs your cheek with his thumb. watching as you slowly blink your eyes at him. “so pretty.” you weakly smile at him. he helps you up and cleans you with a hand towel. “thank you” you finally say as you regain your strength. “of course bunny.” he kisses you passionately. you kiss back hugging his waist.

xavier let’s go. hugging you tightly and kisses your head. “i love you xavi” you tell him. “i wanna be with you” he looks down at you, shocked. he eventually grins. “i love you too bunny. and i’d love to be with you.” you kiss once more. after attempting to look like nothing had happened, you both walk out of the bathroom. holding hands and blushing.

“oh look who it is.” ajax says with his arms crossed. “mystery solved.” wednesday joins in with enid by her side. “oh uh hey guys. what’s up.” you nervously ask. “nothing much, you?” enid shares a knowing look with you. “nothing.” “oh really? then why were you in the bathroom together?” ajax asks already knowing the answer.

“just fighting some ghosts, ya know” shaggy tells the gang. “oh yeah i bet.” ajax squints. you all laugh and return back to the party.

the end

—-

[honey-minded-hivemind]

The 🌊H2-Oh No🐠 AU has some fun dynamics, in my opinion. You have Reader, Kurt, Kitty, Todd, and Evan as the teens who end up in the moon pool, and honestly, I think they'd be a pretty chaotic friend group. You have fun-loving, food-obsessed Kurt who likes to make people smile, you have super-smart and sassy Kitty who is knowledgeable about different fish types, you have chill, laid-back Todd who is good at swimming, you have cheeky yet protective Evan who is good at surfing, and then you have Reader, who's a bit closed-off, but offers sound advice and helps keep everyone's ducks in a row...

This doesn't even begin to go into the adults and other teens dynamics, as you have old friends/possible mates? Magneto and Xavier, both who have their own pods... Best friends and co-parents Storm, Beast, Wolverine, and Xavier... Sabretooth as Wolverine's older brother who wants him to join his pod... Mystique and Magneto and Sabretooth weird friendship/co-parents situation... Then you have best friends Scott and Jean, plus Rogue, who becomes their third member and makes them a trio... You have Gambit, Pyro, and Colossus as older friends/guppies who try to babysit the younger teens... You have Pietro and Wanda being twins, who gladly drag Lance and Fred into their weird friendship...

Reader and their friends have to keep up with the attempts to either separate them or to capture them, all while hiding amongst humans and trying not to let anyone die or get eaten. It doesn't help when the adults realize they're not even 20 years old (which is 2 year old for mers/sirens), and they up their efforts to sway the others to join them. When the full moon comes around, Reader is left as the last teen standing, because the others were either forced to look at the moonlight or ended up in the moon pool, so they're all in their baby siren/mer instincts and starting to see the adults and other teens as podmates/caretakers/hatchmates... Reader doesn't want to fall prey to the moonlight or the siren/mer part of them that begs for care and love and safety... But it gets harder and harder to fight it... It doesn't help when the adults try to force them to look as well, nudging them and coaxing at them to open their eyes, to relax and let themself be cared for...

All in all, this will be fun...

[altoace]

I love X-Men Evo, and I have hundreds of incorrect quotes saved. I love all of these dumb teens (as well as Logan and Ororo) very much.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Scott: No, I’ll tell you what the problem is! The problem is—

Lance: {holds his breath and covers his ears}

Scott: Great, that’s just what your brain needs. Less oxygen.

— — — — —

Pietro: Isn’t it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they’re annoying?

Pietro: Imagine if people did that to other people? I would’ve been dead years ago!

— — — — —

Rogue: Behold, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

— — — — —

Kurt, during training: Hey, who wants to see an impression of my mother?

Scott: Kurt, no.

*Kurt teleports out of the room*

Scott: KURT, NO!

— — — — —

Scott: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Kurt: Plane tickets?

Evan: Concert tickets?

Kitty: Prostitution?

Scott, eyes closed, holding his shades: Glasses.

— — — — —

Lance: {walks in}

Todd and Fred: {making horse noises at each other}

Lance: {walks out}

— — — — —

Tabitha: Every now and then, I like to do as I’m told just to confuse people.

— — — — —

Kitty: {running away from mutants working for Magneto while on the phone}

Scott: Where are you?!

Kitty: I don’t know! You tell me!

Scott: Any sort of notable sign or something?!

Kitty: Umm…staircase!

Scott:

Scott: Anything else? Like a room name?! Any item that’s unique?!

Kitty: Fire extinguisher!

Rogue, muttering under her breath: She’s gonna die…

— — — — —

Kurt: When life gives you lemons—

Rogue: Squeeze them in people’s eyes.

— — — — —

Evan: Someday, in the distant future, people will once again be capable of hearing the phrase “what is love” without also feeling the primal urge to respond with “baby don’t hurt me”.

Kitty: So at that point, people will say “baby don’t hurt me”…no more?

— — — — —

Wanda: Can you pass the pepper?

Todd: What’s the ~magic word~?

*Wanda begins chanting*

Pietro, panicking: JUST TAKE IT OH MY GOD

— — — — —

Xavier: I admit, I was wrong to give up on you all so quickly.

The Brotherhood: Good.

Xavier: However—

The Brotherhood: No, no however. Just be wrong. Just live in your wrongness and be wrong and get used to it.

— — — — —

Lance: Where’s the yogurt? I thought you went to the store?

Pietro: {incoherent mumbling}

Lance: Huh?

Pietro: IT WAS ON THE TOP SHELF

Lance:

Pietro: I COULDN’T REACH IT

— — — — —

*at the zoo*

Lance: So, what are they in for?

Kitty: This isn’t prison.

Lance: So they can leave?

Kitty: Well, no but—

Lance, pointing at a penguin: I bet that one killed somebody.

— — — — —

Xavier: Do you know why I chose you as my first student?

Scott: I assumed you lost a bet.

— — — — —

Scott: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Evan: “Best smile”.

Kurt: “Nicest personality”.

Kitty: “Most likely to start a bar fight”.

Rogue: “Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one”.

— — — — —

Jean: Evan, if we get out of this alive, I will kill you.

Evan: So what’s my incentive to live?

— — — — —

Kurt: Are you a morning person or an evening person?

Scott: If I’m lucky, I get a good few minutes in during the middle of the day.

— — — — —

Scott: Sorry I’m late. I broke down on my way here.

Rogue: Is your car okay?

Scott: Car?

Rogue:

The X-Men:

— — — — —

Lance: Mystique is gonna try and have you killed.

Scott: I can’t say that surprises me.

— — — — —

Kurt, about Tabitha: I don’t know what she’s planning, but I can tell you two things. We won’t like it, and it won’t be legal.

— — — — —

Pietro: Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?

— — — — —

Todd: Why are only roosters allowed to start the day screaming?

Lance: Because we live in the same house and I will murder you.

— — — — —

Scott: We can’t tell you because you’re not a member of the club.

Wanda: What club?

Rogue: The hating Magneto club.

Wanda:

Wanda: The fuck? I should be the leader of that club.

— — — — —

Kitty: Guys! Logan just fell down the stairs!

Ororo: And what did he say?

Kitty: Should I skip the swearing?

Ororo: Yes.

Kitty: Then he fell in silence.

[coopermorrow]

Who I Write For

Hi! My name is Cooper and I am hoping to be a writer one day so I thought what better way of starting off than by writing about my favorite celebrities and characters? I am in many fandoms but not all, so if you don't happen to see one of your favorite celebrities or characters on my list you can still ask me to write about them and I'll do my best!

American Horror Story:

Tate Langdon

Violet Harmon

Nora Montgomery

Lana Winters

Kit Walker

Sister Mary Eunice McKee

Queenie

Madison Montgomery

Zoe Benson

Cordelia Goode

Misty Day

Kyle Spencer (pre and post death)

Dandy Mott

Tristan Duffy

James Patrick March

Elizabeth/The Countess

Kai Anderson

Winter Anderson

Michael Langdon

Mallory

Brooke Thompson

Xavier Plympton

Montana Duke

Harry Gardner

Slashers/Horror Characters:

Michael Myers

Jason Voorhees

Billy Loomis

Stu Macher

Bubba Sawyer

Vincent Sinclair

Bo Sinclair

Lester Sinclair

Tiffany Valentine

Baby Firefly

Doomhead

Brahms Heelshire

Darry Jenner (Jeepers Creepers)

Norman Bates (Bates Motel)

Hannibal Lecter (Hannibal)

Art the Clown

BTS:

Kim Seokjin

Min Yoongi

Jung Hoseok

Kim Namjoon

Park Jimin

Kim Taehyung

Jeon Jungkook

Jackass:

Johnny Knoxville

Steve-O

Ryan Dunn

Bam Margera

Chris Pontius

Rachel Wolfson

Marvel/Avengers Characters:

Loki Laufeyson

Thor Odinson

Tony Stark

Peter Parker

Natasha Romanoff

Steve Rogers

Sam Wilson

James "Bucky" Barnes

Bruce Banner

Wanda Maximoff

IT (2017 and 2019):

Richie Tozier

Bill Denbrough

Eddie Kaspbrak

Mike Hanlon

Stanley Uris

Ben Hanscom

Beverly Marsh

Patrick Hockstetter

Henry Bowers

Reginald "Belch" Huggins

Victor Criss

What's Eating Gilbert Grape:

Gilbert Grape

Arnie Grape

Harry Potter:

Harry Potter

Ronald Weasley

Hermione Granger

Luna Lovegood

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Draco Malfoy

It's Always Sunny In Philadeplphia:

Charlie Kelly

Dennis Reynolds

Deandra "Dee" Reynolds

Ronald "Mac" McDonald

The Last Of Us (show):

Joel Miller

Ellie Williams

Wednesday:

Wednesday Addams

Morticia Addams

Xavier Thorpe

Miscellaneous:

Javier Pena

Kevin Khatchadourian

Jay (Jay and Silent bob)

Jareth the Goblin King (The Labyrinth)

Mort Rainey

Victor Van Dort

Tarrant Hightopp/The Mad Hatter (Alice In Wonderland)

Edward Scissorhands

I will not write rape, 18+ content for underage characters, or anything where the character is another species. I will not take requests containing pedophilia, ablism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, or any other form of bigotry. Comfort imagines for things such as depression, eating disorders, and anxiety are fine as long as you do not want them to be very descriptive and/or explicit. Please make formal requests through my ask as I will not take comments as formal requests. I write for multiple genders but only smut for afab people as that is the anatomy I am most understanding of. I do take "x reader" requests. I can try to write crossovers, though I'm not too experienced with them and I do write for celebrities as well.

Requests are open now so if you do decide to make one, please include the character(s) you want and at least a small description of what you would like the plot to be. Thank you! <3

[willowthegraycat]

so.. this time we've got Norm up first! he looks kinda weird but it's fine lol

then we got Biff!! so baby

and y'all remember Jerry, right? lol

here's chloe, she shares Norm's issue of looking kind weird in her cat form but whatever

next up FRED!! she's so cool

then hiromi.. she actually has several designs for the various stages of the pink dye washing out of her fur, but here's one of the first ones

Kevin! i love a good cringefail loser

Xavier... he looks like an adult here cuz i didnt size him down for a kit-sized reference but i'll do that whenever he actually appears next to other characters, lol, since he's like gretel's age

then the actual gretel!!

(and her superpowered version!!)

we've got bailey here, for your viewing, she's like one of my fav characters

then the nordle!

here we have rootkit

and leafkit! they're made up by me lol

so, here's the thing.. the next few designs I really want to show y'all but also i don't want to like spoil all the ships in my au by showing all their ship kits?? so like.. maybe i can be secretive and y'all will be left guessing or something idk let me know if any of y'all have a preference with that and really don't want to see them yet or something

@cantdanceflynn

[decadeslaterpnfrewrite]

So, this one's to Perry, Candace, and Phineas, how did you announce you were having kids to your family?

"Well," Perry began "Since it was twins, it was a bigger reveal than the others, so when we were doing the gender reveal- indoors and with balloons- instead of blue or pink it was a big 2-shaped balloon. everyone freaked out, of course, but we had no idea of their actual sexes until they were born, we wanted to keep it a surprise for ourselves." He explained

"how i told Heinz, though, was through one of those cutout buntings in the shape of a baby, i showed him the first and he was thrilled, but he almost fainted when i opened it to show two of them. He said he would've spun me around, but he didn't want to hurt the babies."

Candace looked out into the yard at Fred and Xavier, who were modifying their backyard tree into a robot "We announced Amanda's over a family dinner, but kept Fred's a secret until he was born." she explained "the joke was on us, though, cuz we had no idea we were having twins until i was having Xavier. Phineas almost screamed when he saw them"

Phineas paused in his invention wiring and looked up "Oh, we did at a family dinner too, but in a different way than Candace." he chuckled "We convinced everyone to take a group picture, which we do every year so nobody suspected anything, and i was the one to do the '1 2 3 say cheese' thing, except i said '1 2 3 isa's pregnant'! and managed to get a picture of their faces. Everything got pretty chaotic afterwards, we were only 15 after all, so our parents were pretty conflicted, but they fell in love with Ryen when he arrived."

He smiled "Candace and Ferb weren't too impressed with me, of course, but they got over it pretty quickly to be excited for us instead. Ferb literally showed up in his waistcoat-formal OWCA uniform at Ryen's birth to "make a good first impression"" he laughed "I didn't get to one up him, though, i was in hospital when Noah was born, and they were states away from Danville."

"Marti's birth, though, i showed up in a full suit with a cape to make up for not being overly dramatic at Noah's birth, Ferb loved it. His girlfriend was...well, asleep, actually"

"Thanks for the ask!"

[miraculouswolf99]

Akumatized: Valid Or Not

This is basically a list of every akumatized that has appeared so far. There will be four types of categories that they will be put into that say whether or not their reason for being akumatized was valid or not.

Categories:

1. Valid- The reason they were akumatized is completely understandable and could happen to anyone.

2. Semi-Valid- It is still understandable, but for things that are relatively normal. Like losing a contest, being rejected by a crush, or failing a test.

3. You Brought This On Yourself- Akumatized over something that was basically their fault to begin with and is not valid at all.

4. What The Hell- An akumaization that makes no sense at all and most likely not really much of a reason to be akumatized in the first place.

Season One:

Nino Lahiffe- Bubbler: Valid. Gabriel is a jerk that would not let his son's best friend throw him a birthday party.

Xavier Ramier- Mr. Pigeon: Semi-Valid. Was just trying to feed the pigeons, but had been aware that there was a rule/law against it.

Aurore Beauréal- Stormy Weather: Semi-Valid. Lost a contest, but almost had it rubbed in her face when she was told that she lost by a lot.

Alix Kubdel- Timebreaker: Valid. Had her family heirloom destroyed not even an hour after she got it because other people did not put a pocket watch in their pocket when she asked them to hold it during her race.

Théo Barbot- Copycat: Semi-Valid. Believed that the girl he had a crush on was dating someone else, but was treating the situation more that she was an object that he could take if he wanted to.

Jalil Kubdel- Pharaoh: Valid. While it is never a good idea to try and resurrect the dead, his father rejected his theory about the spell even when they were in a city of magical heroes and villains.

Alya Césaire- Lady Wifi: Semi-Valid. Was wrongly suspended because Chloe was being a brat. She may have been taking pictures of Chloe's locker, but the door was open and Chloe had accused her of breaking into it.

Nathaniel Kurtzberg- The Evillustrator: Valid. Was embarrassed by having his crush revealed by a bully and humiliated when the drawings of his crush were revealed to everyone.

Roger Raincomprix- Rogercop: Semi-Valid. Was wrongfully fired for not arresting a girl that the mayor's daughter accused of theft even without proof, but had not done any sort of investigation at all about the missing bracelet.

Lê Chiến Kim- Dark Cupid: Valid. May have been rejected by his crush but had his heart broken on Valentine's day and humiliated by the girl he had a crush on.

Mylène Haprèle- Horrificator: Semi-Valid. We all get scared and she was trying to be brave for the film, but she was also the one that purposely signed up to be the lead in a horror movie.

Armand D'Argencourt- Darkblade: Semi-Valid. Lost the mayoral election, but was also running because he thought that he should reclaim his family's lost seat of power from back in medieval times. It's been hundreds of years, man. Get over it.

Fred Haprèle- Mime: Valid. Was wrongfully fired from his job because a co-worker had sabotaged him to gain the lost job for himself.

Jean Duparc- Magician of Misfortune: What The Hell. We were never even given a reason for why he was akumatized in the first place.

Rose Lavillant- Princess Fragrance: Valid. Simply wanted to give a letter to a prince to thank him for all the charity work he does, but the letter was destroyed by a bully.

Ivan Bruel- Stoneheart: Valid. Believed that his crush rejected him while also being bullied/teased over the crush in the first place. Was also bullied over being akumatized in the first place and called a monster.

Otis Césaire- Animan: What The Hell. So, he was akumatized because a teenage boy thought that he could out-run a panther. Even for a zookeeper, is that really something to be upset about?

Simón Grimault- Simon Says: Valid. May have lost a contest, but was basically cheated out of a win because Gabriel did not even really seem like he was going to participate in the first place and he was not even given the chance to try his act.

Vincent Aza- Pixelator: You Brought This On Yourself. A creepy stalker that wants a picture of his favorite rock star and will try anything to get it. "Yicks" is all I have to say.

Jagged Stone- Guitar Villain: Valid. Was told that he had to change his look and music to the complete opposite of his own just because his manager liked a teenage pop star more than him.

Wang Cheng- Kung Food: Valid. He lost a contest, but that was only because Chloe was a brat that sabotaged him.

Max Kanté- Gamer: Semi-Valid. He lost a chance to be in a video game contest but was more upset over losing his chance because he lost to a girl.

Juleka Couffaine- Reflekta: Valid. She was trying to break her "photo curse" but lost her chance because Chloe had her locked in the bathroom so she could stand next to her crush/obsession.

Manon Chamack- Puppeteer: Valid. She is a little girl that was simply trying to win a game and did not really see why having a doll that was given to her was wrong.

Sabrina Raincomprix- Vanisher: Valid. Had a fight with her best friend and then said best friend also pretended that she was invisible because she was a brat.

Chloé Bourgeois- Antibug: You Brought This On Yourself. She was a brat that was called out for lying about being the reason for an akumaization by the hero that she admired.

Lila Rossi- Volpina: You Brought This On Yourself. She was called out for lying about being best friends with a superhero and trying to claim that she was also a hero with a fake miraculous. Karma will always come back to bite you, Liar Rossi.

Season 2:

Santa Claus- Santa Claws: Valid. Was trying to be a good samaritan, but was instead accused of kidnapping by a superhero.

Gabriel Agreste- Collector: You Brought This On Yourself. Gabriel is Hawkmoth and he akumatized himself. Need I say more.

Nadja Chamack- Prime Queen: You Brought This On Yourself. Her job may have been on the line, but she was willing to leave out information and use a picture taken out of context as her "proof" that the heroes were a couple.

Jean- Despair Bear: You Brought This On Yourself. Was trying to use humiliation to try and make a spoiled brat change her ways and was doing it in front of her class.

Kagami Tsurugi- Riposte: Valid. Thought that a single loss against a formidable opponent meant that she had lost her honor because of an over strict mother.

Gina Dupain- Befana: Semi-Valid. Had a hard time realizing that her grandaughter was growing up, but all grandparents feel that way.

Markov- Robostus: Valid. Even as a robot, he still had feelings, but was told he was just a toy and locked away like an object.

Mr. Damocles- Dark Owl: You Brought This On Yourself. If you are a high school principal with no reason or skill to become a hero, don't try and be one while exhausting the real heroes in the process because they keep having to save you.

August- Gigantitan: Valid. He's a literal baby.

André- Glaciator: Semi-Valid. Was told that the special "soulmate" ice cream that he believed in was not magical, but it was still only one girl that did not want that ice cream.

Ella and Etta Césaire- Sapotis: You Brought This On Yourself. They may be young girls, but they had repeatedly been told to go to bed and were rightfully punished for their bad behavior.

Adrien's bodyguard/The Gorilla- Gorizilla: Valid. He was just trying to do his job and was having an extra stressful day with his charge running off and disappearing with almost half of Paris looking for him.

Anarka Couffaine- Captain Hardrock: Valid. Roger was a jerk to her, telling her that her loud music could not be played during the festival instead of simply telling her to turn it down a little.

Clara Nightingale- Frightningale: Valid. Was told that she could not perform or shoot her music video in France anymore because Chloe was being a brat over not being the star in the music video.

Ondine- Syren: Semi-Valid. She believed that she was rejected by her crush, but there had actually not been any real rejected on Kim's part.

Caline Bustier- Zombizou: Semi-Valid. While she took the akuma to protect her student, the akuma was only there because she made her student believe that she was in trouble for being a victim of bullying

Philippe- Frozer: Valid. He is close to losing his business because of the lack of customers.

Audrey Bourgeois- Style Queen: You Brought This On Yourself. She is a grown woman throwing a temper tantrum because she had to sit in the second row of a fashion show.

Penny Rolling- Troublemaker: Valid. Give the woman a bloody break. She deserves it for putting up with you crazy people and a freaking crocodile every day.

Queen Bee/Chloe Bourgeois-Queen Wasp: You Brought This On Yourself. While she had been trying to impress the mother she thought would never love her, she still stole a miraculous, almost caused a train to crash, and used her powers selfishly.

Marc Anciel-Reverser: Valid. He had his notebook destroyed and confidence ruined after trying to put himself out there for the first time because of a big misunderstanding between himself, Nathaniel, and Marinette.

Nora Césaire- Anansi: Semi-Valid. She was trying to protect her sister, but was being super overprotective and did not have faith in actual superheroes.

André Bourgeois- Malediktator: Valid. He was trying to keep his family happy and together but was faced against a brat of a daughter and a controlling wife where neither respected him.

Boy- Sandboy: Semi-Valid. He was a little boy that had a frightening nightmare, but nightmares are pretty common and normal in life.

Lila Rossi- Volpina: You Brought This On Yourself. She wanted to be akumatized and gladly welcomed the chance to be a villain again.

Nathalie Sancoeur- Catalyst: You Brough This On Yourself. She was willingly akumatized. Nothing more needs to be said.

Rena Rouge/Alya Cesair- Rena Rage: Valid. Took a negative emotions arrow for her boyfriend and had all her love put in reverse and turned into rage.

Carapace/Nino Lahiffe- Shell Shock: Valid. Just saw his superhero girlfriend be akumatized and was both losing hope and was hit by a negative emotions arrow.

Heroes' Day Villains: Valid. They all believed that one of their town heroes had been killed by the akumatized form of their other main hero. They had lost hope.

Season 3:

Lila Rossi- Chameleon: You Brought This On Yourself. She literally grabbed the akuma out of the air purposely got akumatized to try and ruin Adrien's friendships and get another shot at defeating Ladybug.

Thomas Astruc- Animaestro: What The Hell. So, he was akumatized because no one recognized him as a director of an animation movie. I did not really understand it. He was a director of an animation movie. Why would anyone recognize him if they had not seen the movie credits and know who the director was in the first place?

Rolland Dupain- Bakerix: What The Hell. I'm still confused over him. Was he akumatized because Marinette lied about who she was or was it because he was upset over modern baking techniques outshining his own? I did not get it.

Marianne Lenoir- Backwarder: Valid. She had been waiting a long time for the person that she loved, only to believe that he no longer cared for her.

Max Kanté- Gamer 2.0: Semi-Valid. He could not find a person to test out the game that he had made and was told no by a lot of people. A person can only take rejection for so long.

Tom Dupain- Weredad: Valid. He wanted to protect his daughter from heartbreak and was a victim of a lie gone way out of hand.

Luka Couffaine- Silencer: Valid. The song, look, and music that he and his friends created was stolen and his friend had been threatened when they tried to get their music back.

Kagami Tsurugi- Oni-Сhan: Valid. She might have been jealous, but that was only because Liar Rossi lied her way into her friend's home, kissed him without his permission, and claimed that the two were a couple even when he was obviously uncomfortable with her kissing him.

Sabrina Raincomprix- Miraculer: Semi-Valid. She was yelled at by her friend even though she was simply trying to help her after she fought off being akumatized.

Alya Césaire & Nino Lahiffe- Oblivio: What The Hell. They were akumatized over being caught playing a silly video game. That is a very stupid reason.

Wayhem- Party Crasher: Valid. He thought that his friend lied to him about not being able to have friends over and was then rejected at the door of his friend's house when he thought that there was a party there he could attend.

Chris Lahiffe- Christmaster: Semi-Valid. He was upset over not being able to get his presents early, but what kid wouldn't be upset over that.

Manon Chamack- Puppeteer: Semi-Valid. Wanted to play with the big kids and felt ignored by them all day. But that is pretty common for little kids to feel, especially when older siblings and their friends are involved.

Aurore Beauréal- Stormy Weather: Valid. Not only were her grades slipping, but she was also ridiculed by a bully, bullied by her saying 'once a villain always a villain.'

Ms. Mendeleiev- Kwamibuster: Semi-Valid. She was humiliated on live television when trying to prove herself as a great scientist, but she had not even bothered to look at the footage she had before going on the show.

Dormant Sentimonster- Feast: What The Hell. An akumatized sentimonster. I have officially seen it all now.

Juleka Couffaine- Reflekta/Reflectdoll: Valid. She was trying to start her dream of being a model but was basically chased out because Alya was pushing her matchmaking over her friend's dream.

Tomoe Tsurugi- Ikari Gozen: Semi-Valid. Her daughter had disobeyed her to play a game that she did not think was worth the time, but she was still an overly strict mother that was trying to control her daughter's every move.

Vivica- Desperada: Valid. She was fired for a completely ridiculous reason and her boss was quick to try and find a replacement for her.

Claudie Kanté- Startrain: Valid. She was a nervous wreck over if she was close to achieving her dream of being an astronaut while also being a worried mother about having to leave her son if she did get accepted into training.

Xavier Ramier- Mr. Pigeon: You Brought This On Yourself/What The Hell. This guy had been akumatized about 24 times. Enough said.

Future Chris Lahiffe- Timetagger: What The Hell. We are never even given a reason why he was akumatized in the first place.

Cat Noir- Cat Blanc: Valid. He had just found out that his father is the supervillain that has been terrorizing Paris for years and that the mother that disappeared has been under his house the entire time in a coma.

Alya Césaire/Rose Lavillant/Juleka Couffaine- Lady Wifi/Princess Fragrance/Reflekta: Valid. They believed that their friend had sent a horrible message to them in return for their heartfelt messages about them supporting him in his time of pain.

Nathalie Sancoeur- Catalyst: You Brought This On Yourself. She was willingly akumatized again, nothing more and nothing less.

André & Audrey Bourgeois- Heart Hunter: Semi-Valid. They had been fighting and not as in-love as they probably had been once upon a time, but they had never thought about a marriage counselor before.

Queen Bee/Chloe Bourgeois- Miracle Queen: You Brought This On Yourself. Even after being told that she will not get the bee miraculous back, she still tries getting it from Ladybug multiple times. And then she willingly works with Hawkmoth.

[bamfdaddio]

Giant-Size X-Men Abridged: 1975

The X-Men, those all-new, all-different mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(Giant-Size X-Men #1) - by Len Wein and Dave Cockrum.

“Okay, Dave, we want the new guys to look infinitely cooler than the old guys. Especially Beast. Fuck Beast.”

“Say no more.”

If you were Charles Xavier and you accidentally misplaced your team of misfit mutants (except for Beast, who has graduated to Avengerdom and isn’t even in this book), would you:

Call in a favor with the Avengers or the Fantastic Four to help you out?

Call your ex and ask him and his magnetic powers to come to your rescue?

Cut your losses and move on?

Travel the world to replace your boring wonderbread team with a bunch of spicier, kickassier mutants and forever rock the world?

The answer is obviously D. I am hyperventilating. At the end of this, I have to pick the best new character and I cannot. CANNOT.

See, we have so many options!

Option 1: A creepy adorable blue fuzzball who is hunted and persecuted for the way he looks. He also nearly gets straight up staked by an angry European mob, showing that this new iteration of the X-Men is a few shades darker than the last one. (I also feel that angry mobs happen a lot less in Europe than Marvel think they do, but hey.)

Kurt, baby? You know you can teleport yourself out of becoming a human shishkebab, right?

Option 2: A woman who is too good for you. And for me. For anyone, tbh. She can control the weather and step on me. She starts out as a goddess and it’s the accuratest.

Ororo Munroe is my religion.

Option 3: A Russian tin can man with a sweet, sweet heart. Soft boi in a hard shell.

Also featured as a very early cameo: llyana Rasputin in dashing Soviet fashion.

Option 4: An angry Canadian who has authority issues and claws.

Did you know? Wolverine was originally envisioned as an actual wolverine who was turned into a human being. I think we can all agree that this was the better option.

Option 5: An angry Native American who has authority issues and a very uninspiring power set. (Look, if your ‘super powers’ can feasibly be achieved by plenty of cardio and bringing along a well-trained labradoodle, I’m just not here for it.)

John Proudstar does tell Xavier to go suck a cactus. Ten points to Gryffindor!

This cast is rounded out by some returning faces:

An angry Japanese guy who has authority issues and fire powers.

An Irish ex-thief/also ex-cop with sonic powers.

Why is this group instantly more interesting than the OG5? Well, instead of five vaguely generic teenagers coming from sort of similar backgrounds (upstate New York, wealthy, white), we have a couple of older characters coming with wildly varying histories. Some of them even provide a proper through line for the ways mutants fit into society: Nightcrawler is hated and feared, Storm is revered, Wolverine has been recruited by the government and Colossus lives among humans, presumably hiding his powers.

But why has Charles X gathered all these mutants? Because the X-Men have vanished on this mysterious tropical island! All except for an amnesia-riddled Cyclops, who returned to the mansion to go get help! Even though he’s not sure how he escaped, exactly.

The new X-Men travel off, and in between their introductions and embarking on the plane, Sunfire threatens to leave the team about three times.

Sunfire, my man, you could've just stayed in Japan.

Important to note is that none of these mutants mesh well yet and, when they approach the island, Cyclops decides to pull a Fred and he splits up the team - precisely among the fault lines. Interestingly, none of these duos really get along: Sunfire, Wolverine and Thunderbird all have grumpy loner personalities, meaning they don’t play well with others. Sunfire manages to aggravate Kurt, who is possibly the easiest to get along with out of them all, and Wolverine, hilariously, has a really hard time with Bashee’s sonic shouting when Sean flies him down. But even Colossus and Storm, who will later end up one of the more powerful X-friendships, are unfamiliar, ill at ease in each other’s presence.

Anyway, odd shit keeps happening. The Blackbird Strato-Jet vanishes. Cyclops and Thunderbird deal with some stringly-strangly vines; Wolverine and Banshee fight with a giant crab, Colossus and Storm are threatened by a living avalanche and Sunfire and Nightcrawler get swarmed by ferocious birds. After these various altercations, each duo notices this huge temple (which wasn’t there before), almost as if some unseen force is leading them towards it.

At the temple, the new team reunites and there, they find the lost X-Men! And Angel promptly berates them for falling into this trap, because…

Who's been messing up everything? It was Krakoa all along!

Krakoa is a mutant island that feeds off of mutant energies and it released Cyclops because it thought it would bring back more mutant snacks. (Which evidently worked, seeing how Scott brought back Kurt and Piotr.)

The X-Men release the X-Men and together, they band together in awesome (and sometimes confusing) artwork to fight Krakoa.

Look, Angel's doing his best, okay?

In the end, mostly thanks to powerhouse Lorna, they launch the island INTO SPACE. And in the aftermath, Warren asks an important question:

Split into two teams/books and become instantly iconic? No? Not for another twenty years?

Best new character: Don’t make me do this.

Fine.

Okay. So, I don´t think I can judge these characters without taking into account what will happen to them in the future, so I won´t even try. While I love Wolverine and Colossus, two of my ever-favorites are Storm and Nightcrawler. Nightcrawler, because he represents the best of humanity: even though it would be so easy for him to hate mankind because of their prejudice and their hatred, he always chooses kindness, faith and optimism. Storm, because she is a queen and will become one of the most complex and well-written comic book superheroes: a goddess, a thief, a leader and one of the best female power fantasies ever.

I choose her. I always choose her.

Ugliest costume: None. I do want to note just how well the costumes are designed here: Storm’s tiara-and-cloak outfit is still iconic and Nightcrawler’s and Colossus’ looks are so good that they are still being used, decades later. Hats off to Cockrum.

What to read: This. It’s just good. The new team is leagues better than the old one and the twist that the villain is Krakoa holds up. Sure, it’s all still a little wordy and nobody ever bothers explaining what’s up with Sunfire wanting to leave every second, but it’s an excellent reboot and a milestone issue.

[polymathart]

Cassandra’s Revenge

DUET. DUET

She proposed!

I swear I thought everyone was gonna start arguing about Eugene’s age as a joke to how he was never given an age since the first movie.

Cassandra’s tower = Sauron’s tower

CASS WENT EVIL ELSA

HOLY FUCK CASS WAS SEXY AS HELL IN EVERY SHOT

SHE WAS SO HOT CRASHING THE PARTY

I thought she was gonna use Adira’s sword to slice the cake like in Beyind Corona’s Walls

I headcanon that Cass went for the cake because at first she was genuinely hungry and wanted cake. But then got disgusted by all the bitches around her

MalefiCass

BELT IT JEREMY

BELT IT EDEN

RUDDIGER IS CARIAN’S APPRENTICE

The portal scene gave me Gravity Falls ptsd

Varian started saying the incantation I legit thought his hair would glow

The ghost grinned at Cass taking varian. I thought for a second that she was gonna reveal moon varian

CASS AND THE SAD HORSE

Call me crazy but, when cass was looking through a Varian’s books, she definitely stumbled on his diary where he wrote all his feelings

BABY BOI SLEEPS WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN

WHERE THE FUCK WAS QUIRIN? DOING HIS TAXES?! JOGGING?! BRO YOU KID WAS STOLEN

Okay so: Varian drank the truth serum, right? I firmly believe that when he was singing, he was singing only the truth.

CASS CALLED VARIAN OUT. THAT HURT

VARIAN IS ONE DURABLE LITTLE BADASS

Varian explicitly accepted being the bad guy. But Cass denied being a villain.

THE KID KEPT REACHING OUT TO CASS. HE KEPT GETTING BACK UP. THE GHOST GIRL KNEW HOW MUCH HE WANTED TO HELP CASS THAT HE WOULD DO ANYTHING IE FIND THE FOURTH INCANTATION

Cass could’ve just kept varian locked in a cage but she forced him way away from her. Why? Because she didn’t want hear that he was right

RED AND ANGRY ARE SO ADORABLE

Raps why are you taking them to fight? And why aren’t you bringing help? Cap, Fred, Xavier, the Guards, Edmund.

Edmund and Fred are so stupid I love it

TEAM AWESOME IS BACK

Eugene holding Varian’s hand was so precious. He really was looking out for his little brother

AVATAR RAPS IS BACK

I feel so bad for cass. She looked genuinely shocked and confused when she lost. And she looked so lost and broken when she saw the portal

Cass is so extra. A giant tower just to one up Rapunzel. Built on her paintings. With a throne. And multiple stairways just to fuck with Lance

WHEN RAPUNZEL ALMOST GOT CRUSHED IT WAS ACTUALLY GRAPHIC. THE ROCK WAS FULLY AGAINST THE ROOF. AND IT DIDNT SHIW RAPS WAS OKAY UNTIL SHE STOOD UP

Damn cass was cute and sexy laughing at the trio flying across the tower. She gave me mad Yellow Diamond vibes

When varian said he needed a glass, I was scared raps would pull out the Cassandrium.

Aw varian has lance as his big brother now too

Pfft. Lance and Eugene have never been convicted

Damn. I can’t believe they actually one up’d Secret of the Sundrop

CASSARIAN. VARIANS SWEET LITTLE HEART CARES SO MUCH for CASS. AND SHE DIDNT WANT TO HURT HIM

Varian literally is Grunkle Ford

Yo Varian straight up grabbed Cass’ wounded hand

How did we go from Tangled Before Ever After to this

Varian visited the upside down

RUDDIGER YOU HUNGRY FOOL

Damn. Lance can hold onto the weight of a man and a horse combined

I could literally hear elements of Let Me Make You Proud and Reprise, Waiting in the Wings, and Crossing the Line during that duet

Cass touched the Smolder. Cursed

[papermoonloveslucy]

IS THERE A BABY IN THE HOUSE?

November 27, 1948

“Is There A Baby In The House?” (aka “There’s A Baby In The House”) is episode #18 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on November 27, 1948.

Synopsis ~ Liz goes over to meet the new neighbors and winds up minding a four-month old baby overnight.

Note: This episode was aired before the characters names were changed from Cugat to Cooper. It was also before Jell-O came aboard to sponsor the show and before the regular cast featured Bea Benadaret and Gale Gordon as the Atterburys.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cugat) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. “My Favorite Husband” eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cugat) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz, a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

John Hiestand (Cory Cartwright) served as the announcer for the radio show “Let George Do It” from 1946 to 1950. In 1955 he did an episode of “Our Miss Brooks” opposite Gale Gordon.

Frank Nelson (Mr. Brennan) was born on May 6, 1911 (three months before Lucille Ball) in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He started working as a radio announcer at the age of 15. He later appeared on such popular radio shows as “The Great Gildersleeve,” “Burns and Allen,” and “Fibber McGee & Molly”.  Aside from Lucille Ball, Nelson is perhaps most associated with Jack Benny and was a fifteen-year regular on his radio and television programs. His trademark was playing clerks and other working stiffs, suddenly turning to Benny with a drawn out “Yeeeeeeeeees?” Nelson appeared in 11 episodes of “I Love Lucy”, including three as quiz master Freddy Fillmore, and two as Ralph Ramsey, plus appearance on “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” - making him the only actor to play two different recurring roles on “I Love Lucy.” Nelson returned to the role of the frazzled Train Conductor for an episode of “The Lucy Show” in 1963. This marks his final appearance on a Lucille Ball sitcom. 

Mary Lansing (New Neighbor, Little Stevie’s Mother) was best known for playing Martha Clark and ten other characters in Mayberry on “The Andy Griffith Show” and “Mayberry R.F.D.”, both filmed at Desilu. Lucy lovers might remember her as the voice of weepy Cynthia in “Over The Teacups”, the Broadway play that the Ricardos and Mertzes attend in “Ethel’s Birthday” (ILL S4;E9).  She met Frank Nelson performing on radio. They married in 1933 and had two children. Lansing appeared with him frequently on the “Jack Benny Program” during the 1950s.

Hans Conried (Mr. Atterbury, George’s Boss) first co-starred with Lucille Ball in The Big Street (1942). He then appeared on “I Love Lucy” as used furniture man Dan Jenkins in “Redecorating” (ILL S2;E8) and later that same season as Percy Livermore in “Lucy Hires an English Tutor” (ILL S2;E13) – both in 1952. The following year he began an association with Disney by voicing Captain Hook in Peter Pan. On “The Lucy Show” he played Professor Gitterman in “Lucy’s Barbershop Quartet” (TLS S1;E19) and in “Lucy Plays Cleopatra” (TLS S2;E1). He was probably best known as Uncle Tonoose on “Make Room for Daddy” starring Danny Thomas, which was filmed on the Desilu lot. He joined Thomas on a season 6 episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1973. He died in 1982 at age 64.  

In a few months, the role of Mr. Atterbury will be assumed by Gale Gordon.

Jean Vander Pyl (Stevie the Baby) is best known as the voice of Wilma Flintstone for the Hanna-Barbera cartoon “The Flintstones.” Coincidentally, Wilma’s best friend was voiced by Bea Benadaret, who will later play Iris Atterbury, Liz’s best friend on “My Favorite Husband.” On radio she was heard on such programs as “The Halls of Ivy” (1950–52) and on “Father Knows Best” before it moved to TV.  She died in 1999 at age 79.

Doing baby voices was something that Vander Pyl would also do on “The Flintstones” where she did the voice of her own daughter, Pebbles. 

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Cugats this morning something new has been added. There’s a moving van in front of the house next door, but of course the new neighbors don’t interest Liz Cugat in the least!”

Liz is peering through the front window at the goings on next door using George’s binoculars.  George gets interested only when she sees fishing and hunting equipment being unloaded.  

In “New Neighbors” (ILL S1;E21) in 1952, Lucy and Ethel watch new tenants the O’Briens move in using Ricky’s binoculars. Like Liz, Lucy mistakes a bug on the lens for the new neighbor!  Unlike George, it is blonde, shapely Mrs. O’Brien who gets Ricky and Fred interested, not sporting equipment.

Cory Cartwright (John Hiestand) drops by for a rare early morning visit. He’s come by to tell George that he is to be the trustee of his mother’s club, who helps an orphan home with 130 children.  George makes Liz promise not to go next door and bother the new neighbors while he is at work. 

Liz and Katie spend two hours washing windows while spying on the movers. Liz says they moved in a lot of junk.

KATIE: “With women who know junk best, it’s Mrs. Cugat two to one!”

Katie is sarcastically paraphrasing a popular ad slogan of the 1930s and ‘40s for Lucky Strike Cigarettes: “With men who know tobacco best, it’s Luckies 2 to 1″. 

Liz wildly figures that if she doesn’t go over and visit the new neighbor she may lonely, take to brooding, become moody and despondent and turn on the gas. Liz rushes off to save her life!  

Liz visits the new neighbor (Mary Lansing), who compliments Liz on having two such industrious maids - the ones who spent the two hours cleaning the same window!  Before Liz leaves, the woman asks her to babysit with her four month old son, Stevie (Jean Vander Pyl), while she runs an errand. 

George comes home early while Liz is still watching the baby, so she tells Katie to take him into the den. George hears the baby crying and goes into the den to see for himself and demands to know who it belongs to.

LIZ: “You wouldn’t believe it’s mine, would you?” GEORGE: “No!”  LIZ: “Princess Elizabeth’s?” 

When Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II was still Princess Elizabeth, she gave birth to Prince Charles, who was born on November 14, 1948, two weeks before this broadcast. Princess Elizabeth became Queen upon the death of her father, George VI in February 1952.  Lucy Ricardo performed for her in “Lucy Meets The Queen” (ILL S5;E15) in January 1956. Naturally, the monarch remained off camera. 

Liz admits that the child belongs to their new neighbor. Just then the telephone rings and Liz leaves George with the baby to answer it.  George tries to distract the child with his pocketwatch, which Stevie promptly breaks. Liz returns to report that Stevie’s mother is delayed and they have to watch the child overnight!

~END OF ACT ONE~

A patriotic public service announcement details how the US Air Force helped a Spanish town remove a precariously tottering statue from a high building.

ANNOUNCER: “And now, let’s go back to Liz and George Cugat and see how they are getting along with the baby.” 

In the kitchen, Liz and George are trying to figure out how to feed the baby, not remembering the exact formula. They decide to feed him cereal, instead. 

LIZ: “Now which kind do you think he’ll like best? Corn Flakes or Post Toasties?  Here’s a good one: Grape-Nuts!” 

Post Toasties was a breakfast cereal made by Post Foods as the Post version of Kellogg’s popular Corn Flakes. They were discontinued as of August 2016, although Kellogg’s Corn Flakes are still going strong. Post also made Grape- Nuts, initially marketed as a natural cereal that could enhance health and vitality. It is still sold today.  

George thinks they should just feed him baby oil, but Liz correct him that baby oil is not for drinking, but for frying the cereal!  They resort to canned baby food, but think it is spoiled because it is all mushy.  They settle on milk, but can’t find the nipples, so Liz decides to cut the fingers off a rubber glove instead. 

The baby cries all night long. Liz picks him up every time he cries, but as soon as she puts him down, he cries again. 

GEORGE: “I know how to make him sleep: ‘Rock-a-bye Baby’. Wait here and I’ll go get a great big rock.” LIZ: “George!!!” 

Liz realizes that the baby can’t sleep because she didn’t burp him. After a few pats on the back, Stevie burps.

LIZ: “Isn’t that cute?” GEORGE: “Cute? When he does it it’s cute. When I do it it’s vulgar!” 

At the bank the next day, Mr. Atterbury (Hans Conried) calls a sleep-deprived George into his office. He tells George that Mr. Brennan, the man from the Orphans Home, is reluctant to make George trustee because he has no children.  Mr. Atterbury comes up with a plan. George must rush home to meet Mr. Brennan and pretend that the neighbor’s baby is his own! 

Mr. Brennan (Frank Nelson) arrives at the Cugat’s door just as George comes tearing up the walk to warn Liz of the scheme. George gets Liz into the kitchen to fill her in on the plan, but Liz has already given the baby back to his mother. George tells her to get that baby back! 

Liz dashes out the back door, tearing her dress on a branch, and stepping in a puddle.  Stevie’s mother asks her husband was was going into her house and Liz realizes that Mr. Brennan is the new neighbor and that Stevie is his son. Liz grabs the baby and rushes back home in shambles, hoping that Mr. Brennan will not notice.  

But Mr. Brennan sees a resemblance between the two babies and heads home and get his son to compare the two. Liz rush through the back door to return the baby before he can get there. On the way back Liz tears her dress on a nail, falls in a puddle and gets back just in time to find Mr. Brennan at the door without his son! 

MR. BRENNAN: “When I got home and took a good look at him I could see: they don’t look alike at all!” 

Later, Liz goes to see Mr. Brennan to tell him how wonderful her favorite husband is and Brennan gives George the job as trustee. He asks one favor, however - that they babysit Little Stevie.

GEORGE: “Not tonight!” LIZ: “No, not tonight. For the whole weekend. Goodnight, George!” 

~ END OF EPISODE ~

[animegenork]

I'm honestly curious for myself, so don't mind me as I randomly keep track of these things.

Akuma Victim - Person Who Caused It (Negative Feelings) - # of Times Akumatized

Aurore Beauréal - Paris plus jealousy of Mireille / Scarlet Moth x2 / Chloé / Gamer 2.0 - 5

Nino Lahiffe - Gabriel Agreste / Scarlet Moth / the class - 3

Jalil Kubdel - M. Kubdel / Scarlet Moth x2 / Gamer 2.0 - 4

Alya Césaire - Chloé Bourgeois / Puppeteer / Scarlet Moth / the class / Félix - 5

Alix Kubdel - Chloé (she's pretty much at fault for the watch) / Scarlet Moth / Gamer 2.0 - 3

Xavier Ramier - Roger Raincomprix / unknown / Gamer 2.0 - 3 (or a bajillion, according to canon [technical total is 26])

Nathaniel Kurtzberg - Chloé / Puppeteer / Gamer 2.0 - 3

Roger Raincomprix - André Bourgeois (Chloé indirectly) / Puppeteer / Scarlet Moth x2 / Gamer 2.0 - 5

Théo Barbot - Cat Noir's idiocy / Gamer 2.0 - 2

Kim Chiến Lê - Chloé / Scarlet Moth / Gamer 2.0 - 3

Mylène Haprèle - Chloé plus insecurity / Scarlet Moth / Gamer 2.0 - 3

Armand D'Argencourt - Press plus André / Scarlet Moth / Gamer 2.0 - 3

Fred Haprèle - Chris / Scarlet Moth x2 / Gamer 2.0 - 4

Wang Cheng - Chloé's Sabotage / Gamer 2.0 - 2

Max Kanté - Marinette Dupain-Cheng / Scarlet Moth / feeling alone because everyone is too busy to try his game (sorry bud D: ) - 3

Otis Césaire* - Kim / Scarlet Moth - 2

Sabrina Raincomprix - Chloé / Scarlet Moth / Chloé lashing out while angry at Ladybug (Hawk Moth’s machinations plus Lila) / Gamer 2.0 - 4

Chloé Bourgeois - Ladybug / Ladybug plus Cat Noir plus Audrey Bourgeois plus the press / Scarlet Moth / Gamer 2.0 / Ladybug (not on purpose) and Hawk Moth’s persuasion - 5

Manon Chamack - Marinette plus Nadja Chamack / feeling ignored by Marinette, Nino, and Alya / Gamer 2.0 - 3

Juleka Couffaine - Chloé plus Sabrina Raincomprix / her own quietness plus Marinette sorta (accidentally) / Gamer 2.0 / Félix / Scarlet Moth - 5

Jagged Stone - XY / Scarlet Moth - 2

Vincent Aza - Jagged Stone plus Penny Rolling / Gamer 2.0 - 2

Rose Lavillant - Chloé / Scarlet Moth x2 / Gamer 2.0 / Félix / Scarlet Moth again - 6

Simon Grimault - Gabriel - 1

Lila Rossi - Ladybug / Gabriel’s machinations plus general hatred toward Ladybug / willingly during Scarlet Moth incident (I assume, considering the previous one) / willingly again while mad at Ladybug and Adrien / Gamer 2.0 - 5

Ivan Bruel - Kim plus Principal Damocles PLUS Mylène (accidentally) / Scarlet Moth / Gamer 2.0 - 4 (2 in the same time period)

Santa Claus - Ladybug plus Gabriel (sorta) / Gamer 2.0 - 2

Gabriel Agreste - Gabriel (sorta Adrien too but not really) - 1

Jean the Butler - Chloé / Scarlet Moth / Gamer 2.0 - 3

Nadja Chamack - TV Studio plus Ladybug and Cat Noir / Scarlet Moth / Gamer 2.0 - 2

Gina Dupain - Marinette / Gamer 2.0 - 2

Kagami Tsurugi - Marinette plus Adrien Agreste (accidentally) / Scarlet Moth x2 / Lila / Gamer 2.0 - 5

Markov (bless his heart) - Ms. Mendeleiev plus Principal Damocles / Gamer 2.0 - 2

August - being a baby / Scarlet Moth / being a baby again lol / Gamer 2.0 - 4

Principal Damocles - Ladybug and Cat Noir (accidentally) / Gamer 2.0 / Scarlet Moth - 3

André Ice Cream Man - Marinette / Scarlet Moth / Gamer 2.0 - 3

Ella and Etta Césaire - misbehaving plus Alya Césaire / Gamer 2.0 - 2

The Gorilla, Adrien’s bodyguard - Adrien sneaking out plus Roger plus Gabriel / Scarlet Moth / Gamer 2.0 - 3

Anarka Couffaine - Roger - 1

Miss Bustier - protecting Marinette [despite targeting Chloé] / Gamer 2.0 / Scarlet Moth - 3

Ondine - Kim (WAY ACCIDENTALLY HE’S JUST SO DENSE) / Scarlet Moth - 2

Clara Nightingale - André and Chloé (mostly Chloé being petty) / Scarlet Moth / Gamer 2.0 - 3

Penny Rolling - Jagged, Marinette, Bob Roth, the camera crew (not intentionally) / Gamer 2.0 - 2

Nora Césaire - Alya, Nino, Marinette (unintentionally) / Gamer 2.0 - 2

Sandboy - horror movies (me too buddy) / Gamer 2.0 - 2

Marc Anciel - Nathaniel plus Marinette (her, very accidentally) - 1

Philippe - André B / Scarlet Moth - 2

Audrey Bourgeois - Gabriel plus Nathalie (mostly her own ego) / Scarlet Moth / Gamer 2.0 / André - 4

André Bourgeois - Chloé and Audrey / Scarlet Moth / Audrey - 3

Nathalie Sancoeur - willingly / willingly again - 2

Marianne - Ladybug (very accidentally) - 1

Tom Dupain - Cat Noir plus Marinette acting heartbroken / Gamer 2.0 - 2

Thomas Astruc (I’m still cackling over this A;SDDLJKFASLDFKJA) - everyone ignoring him and being shitty (I almost WANTED him to win ngl) - 1

Rolland Dupain - his stubbornness plus Marinette / Gamer 2.0 - 2

Luka Couffaine - Bob Roth threatening Marinette (ngl pretty romantic uwu) - 1

Vivica - Jagged / Gamer 2.0 - 2

Claudie Kanté - not Hawk Moth involved, thought she’d failed astronaut exam - 1

Ms. Mendeleiev - nobody believing in Kwamis (mostly Alec the TV host) - 1

Sentimonster Feast - wanting to eat the Miraculous - 1

Tomoe Tsurugi - Kagami disobeying her - 1

Chris Lahiffe - unknown / Marinette (accidentally) via Christmas elf story - 2

Wayhem - accidentally Adrien plus feeling left out (I guess it’s Nino then lol) - 1

Cat Noir [in different/fixed timeline] - Hawk Moth, let’s be real - 1

Villains We Don’t See

Destroyer - 1

Jean Duparc (Magician of Misfortune) - 1

*(YO SINCE WHEN WAS HE ALYA'S DAD)

------

Was not expecting Chloé and Lila to have the same tally, but here we are, 3 seasons of speedy rewatching later

[sortofcaffeinateddoodles]

This is the Flynn-Fletcher kid’s individual timelines’ from an AU I came up with in 2017. The AU focused only on the kid’s Middle School years, but after coming up with my own Phinabella Baby, I wanted to show what happened afterwards. So I suggest you read that before you look at this. Some parts might confuse you other-wise! 

Personal head-cannon age wise at the start of the show.

Candace-16 years old

Ferb-11 years old

Phineas-10 years old

It’s pretty long just FYI and kind-of confusing. 

Candace Flynn Timeline

Graduates High-School.(18-yrs)

Graduates College.(26-yrs)

Marries Jeremy Johnson.(30-yrs)

Amanda is Born.(31-yrs)

Xavier and Fred are Born [Fraternal Twins].(34-yrs)

Quits Job at Law Firm and Opens a Music Studio with Jeremy.(37-yrs)

{Relationship} (LITERALLY THE WAY THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS DEPICTED IN THE SHOW IS HOW I THOUGHT ALL RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD BE GROWING UP.)

Candace has always been high-strung, but luckily for her Jeremy had just the right amount of a laid back attitude. The two balance each other out through-out their college years. Candace would be on top of her studies, arranging study dates every week in exchange for regular (no busting) dates with Jeremy. While Jeremy would force Candace out of her comfort zone, now that Stacy was across the country studying Fashion.

The two had a pretty healthy relationship. Giving one another space when upset, neither being uncomfortable being honest with the other and most importantly. Never finding the other’s obsessions or habits off putting. Both were pretty accepting of the other.

(I played around with their kids age gap. Nothing in the show was ever set in stone I dont’ think so its free real estate)

Ferb Fletcher Timeline

7th Grade. (13-yrs)

Last year in Business School. (21-yrs)

Date’s Vanessa Doofenshmirtz and has a Bad Break-Up. (25-yrs)

Helps Phineas with his Business. (26-27 yrs)

Become’s COO. (29-yrs)

Gets Back Together with Vanessa. (32-yrs)

{Relationship} When Ferb Graduates college, a mutual friend of Vanessa and him set the two up on a blind date. The two hit it off pretty quickly; and because of their shared history of adventures during the summer 15 years ago, the two fall into relationship statues head-first, Figuring it fate. 

Sadly they were mistaken. Both being at different points in their life, with Ferb hoping to start a business of some sort, and Vanessa still wanting to see the world. Neither really stopped or made time for the other. Vanessa being the more experienced (relationship wise) decided to call it quits.

Ferb didn’t realize how effected he was by this. Throwing himself into his work helping Phineas run his new business. Phineas had also broken up with Isabella right after he started helping. Then when Phineas began slipping in his work, Ferb did what he always did when the two were growing up. 

He added more to his plate so his little-brother wouldn’t be overwhelmed. But then when Phineas and Isabella got back together and then were busy with Zamir, he added even more to his plate. It wasn’t until he got sick and refused to go home, did Phineas put him on temporary leave. 

This causes a slight rift between the two. Linda manages to nib that in the butt though, deciding enough is enough. Linda manages to help Ferb see that he’s still hurting about Vanessa and never gave himself the time grieve the break-up.

After some time off of work, and a couple months of therpy, Ferb goes back to work with Phineas. At 32 years old, Ferb and Vanessa(38 yrs) get back together. 

Phineas Flynn Timeline

Get’s GED Early and Becomes Doofenshmirtz’ Intern. (12-yrs)

3rd Year in College. (20-yrs)

Start’s His Business in Invention and Innovation. (24-25 yrs)

Breaks Up with Isabella. (25-yrs)

Zamir is Born. (28-yrs)

Marries Isabella. (31-yrs)

{Relationship} Isabella(25 yrs) moves to France after getting a job offer as a reporter. She mostly applied for the job as a joke, figuring no-one in France would higher a straight out of college Journalist. But was completely shocked and excited for the offer, accepting it immediately. She was given a month to prepare for the long move.

After telling Phineas, she was shocked by his anxiousness of it. At first the young man only seems worried about the distance, which Isabella points out that he could just make a smaller-scale version of the portal to Mars. But that just manage to upset Phineas even more, though he never explains why he’s upset.

Isabella starts to come up with her own assumptions as to why he’s upset. And she has no choice but to come up with reasons why! He won’t explain why he’s unhappy. Isabella begins to think that Phineas doesn't trust her, which puts a strain in their relationship. 

The weekend before she’s supposed to leave, the two get into a big argument after Isabella accuses Phineas of being distrustful for no reason. Phineas agrees with her reasoning like a moron, and Isabella moves to France without saying goodbye, Phineas doesn’t chase after her like he did at the end of summer seven years ago. 

When Isabella comes back a year later, Phineas admits why he was so upset before she left. He somehow got the idea in his head that he was holding Isabella back again. And he didn’t want to be the reason she didn’t go further in her career. After talking some sense into his thick skull, Isabella and Phineas get back together. But now with the promise to be open and honest with their doubts and worries. 

A year after getting back together, their son Zamir is born. But both are too nervous to just jump right into marriage after they just got back together. When Zamir is three years old, is when the two finally decide to tie the knot. 

The age gap between their kids.

Amanda-15 years old

Xaiver- 12 years old

Fred- 12 years old

Zamir- 12 years

            CONGRATS!! YOU READ ALL THAT CRAP.

I’m open to questions and I’ll be opening my anon box.

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

Another self-indulgent fan-fic, this time with Blob and Pyro drinking, fighting, talking, and bonding over bullying a teenager.

This was an attempt to give Blob a little more depth beyond just the crass asshole of the Brotherhood, and show that he’s got some feelings, too.  I also wanted to deal with some stuff with Pyro that Marauders hasn’t really gotten into, especially his death and relationship with the rest of the Brotherhood.  There’s also some discussion of Pyro/Avalanche.  I will forever headcanon original Pyro as a closeted gay man, who had a kind of undefined friends with benefits thing going on with Avalanche (I don’t care how many fantasy Jean Greys he kisses in Marauders), and who still feels uncomfortable being open about it, even if attitudes have changed somewhat. 

Warnings for - Very nasty language, some body-shaming from Pyro, some discussion of homophobia.  Blob says some things that maybe aren’t quite homophobic, but kind of insensitive.  Behind a read-more, because it wound up being long.

Pyro was absolutely not nervous when he knocked on the door of the small habitat building nestled just at the edge of the Krakoan jungle.  It was a nice spot, with one window offering a view of the beach, but the trees providing a bit of protection from tropical storms.  There was a little garden plot to one side, so neatly and delicately arranged that he wondered if the man he was there to see had a tidier room-mate.

He wasn’t nervous.  And he hadn’t been putting this off, he’d just been busy. He’d fallen in with a whole new team, after all, who had accepted him with a surprising amount of tolerance, and he was spending most of his time having high-seas adventures.  Not much time on Krakoa itself, to drop in on an old….friend? Acquaintance?  Former team-mate who could snap his spine in half if he happened to be in a foul mood?  Pyro wasn’t sure exactly where he stood with any of them now.  But he wasn’t nervous.  Sod that.

The door swung open, the view inside immediately blocked by the massive fleshy mountain that was Frederick J. Dukes, the immovable object.

“Hey Fred.  I brought booze.”  Pyro held up the wine bottle like a peace offering between them.  It was entirely possible he was about to get his face bashed in, or possibly smother to death under Blob’s sizable buttocks.  And sure, he’d get resurrected, but he wasn’t keen to go through all that unpleasantness.

“Aww, hey matchstick!  Get in here!”  Blob grinned and swung an arm around him, practically clobbering him forward into the living room.  “Where ya been?”

“Um….dead, mostly.  Yah know,” Pyro quipped, not willing to admit to the relief that was flooding into his chest.  Because he hadn’t been nervous.  He had just been…curious….to see where he stood with the mutants who had been his team-mates for years.  Just wanted to catch up and see how they were.

(To see if they all hated him.)

“Haw, haw, yeah, don’t I know it. You shoulda seen Avalanche cryin’ into his beer over that,” Blob guffawed, pulling him in close and hugging him against his side.  Pyro could smell body odor and coconut oil.

“He cried, huh?”  He murmured, his mouth muffled against pillowy flesh.

“Blubbered like a damn baby.” Fred released him so that he could step back and gasp air.  

“What’d you do to your face, man? You going emo on me, now?  C’mon, buck up.  You only died the one time.  Not like those X-Men, they got a whole revolving door thing going.”

“It’s not emo,” Pyro protested, running his hand over the skull tattoo covering most of his face.  “It’s ‘cause I’m a pirate.  I’m runnin’ round with the Marauders.  We’re wrecking ships and stealing supplies, it’s a blast.”

Blob scoffed.  “You’re running around with X-Men, matchstick.  You’re basically an X-Man, now.”

“The hell I am!”  Now Pyro really felt insulted.  “I’m not wearing an X anywhere.  We’re the Marauders, not the X-Marauders or whatever.  We’re pirates, doin’ pirate things!  Like fighting the military and helping mutant kids get to Krakoa – “ Except that wasn’t exactly what pirates did, was it?  That was more of a hero-type deal.  “-and sinking ships –“ and delivering medicine to people that needed it around that globe, but Pyro wasn’t going to mention that.  Even if it did give him a bit of a warm glow in his chest to be helping the sick and desperate.  He knew what it was like to be sick and desperate.

“Everyone on that ship is a goody-two shoes X-Man!” Blob sneered.  “Storm, that phasing girl, Ice-nerd.”

“Bishop’s pretty cool,” Pyro felt the need to interject.  The man could fight, and he respected that.  He was also extremely good looking, something Pyro tried to not notice.  

“Still an X-Man.  You’re one a them now.  I shoulda expected it after the way you died.”  Blob stepped back from him, shaking his head.  And oh, there it was.  

It didn’t seem quite fair.  Pyro couldn’t even remember what he’d done. What he’d been thinking at the time.

“I mean….does it really matter?” He tried.  “We’re all one big happy mutant family on Krakoa now.  Xavier and Magneto getting all chummy.  Seems like the X-Men and the Brotherhood don’t even exist anymore.”

“Seems ta me like there’s a bunch of X-Teams and no Brotherhood.  They split up all us nasty “bad” mutants and stuck them on teams with the wussy good guys ta keep us in line.  Except when they need their dirty work done, then they’ll send out those of us with criminal records.  I dunno who’s really running the show on Krakoa, but it ain’t the Brotherhood.” Blob slumped down on his sofa, but gestured to Pyro to sit in one of the chairs.  At least he wasn’t being thrown out.  

“Guess you might be right there,” he mused, tossing himself down sideways across the chair, both legs hanging over one arm.  The X-Men were in an awful lot of positions of power, even with the attempts to balance the Council.  And they seemed to dominate most of the island’s strike teams.

“I guess there are more of them than there are of us.”              

“Guess running a school for mutant kids is better recruitment strategy than a creepy dude in a metal helmet that’ll throw his own people under the bus in a heartbeat.  Did I ever tell ya about how he chucked an explosive at me?  And that was back he was tryin’ to recruit me!”

“Many times, Freddie,” Pyro was a little relieved that the conversation was meandering away from his own status – X-Man, Brotherhood member, Krakoan or whatever the hell he now was.  He wasn’t sure himself.  

“Wine?”  He held out the bottle again.  Blob swiped it and held it up between two fingers with another guffaw.

“What is this, matchstick, booze for ants?  That ain’t gonna be thimbleful for me.”  

“Oh, but this is a very special bottle, Freddie.”  Pyro took the bottle back.  “Have ya got a bucket?  I’m gonna be like Christ with the loaves and fishes here.”

“Doncha mean water into wine? That was one of the miracles, right?” Blob came back with a massive stew pot.

“Yeah, but there’s no water involved here.  Watch and marvel!”  He upended the bottle with a dramatic flourish.  Moments later, Blob’s mouth dropped open as the stew pot was half-way filled, and the bottle showed no signs of emptying.

“Ain’t that a hell of a trick. What’s the deal, Aussie?  Some kind of mystical Outback dream-time thing?”

“Nah, just a bribe from a wizard. Bottomless bottle.  Never runs out.”  Technically, Dr. Strange had offered the gift as a gesture to the entire island.  But technically didn’t matter, because Strange had given the bottle directly to him, which meant it was basically his.  He certainly wasn’t going to hand it over to the Council to use in their fancy-pants secret meetings.  Better to keep it among the people, right?  Pyro was willing to share.  A bit.  

“Well, tell Harry Potter thanks. That’s one hell of a gift.”

“Who?”

“C’mon, don’t fuck with me.  You haven’t been dead that long.”  

“True,” Pyro grinned.  But being dead was certainly a convenient excuse for bowing out of whatever must-see pop culture phenomenon he was supposed to be familiar with.  “Sorry mate, I was dead at the time,” usually shut people up.

Blob took the full bucket, downed half in one gulp, and held it out again for more.  Pyro took a moment to fill his own glass to the brim before pouring again.

“Damn, that’s good stuff. Usually bulk wine is pretty crappy.” Fred licked his lips in appreciation.

“I wouldn’t know the difference,” Pyro shrugged.  He’d gotten invited to a few fancy parties, way back in the day when he was journalist/writer St. John Allerdyce and “Pyro” didn’t exist.  But it hadn’t exactly refined his palate.   He’d rather have a full goon bag to himself than a dainty little glass of something aged and expensive.  

“Well, we can’t all be sophisticated gourmets,” Blob said airily, swirling the wine around and giving it a sniff. “French grapes, I’d say.  Black currant, acai, cherry, and just a hint of chocolate.  Probably a ’78 or ’79.”  He proceeded to down half the stew-pot again.

“Freddie me lad, you are absolutely full of shit.”  Pyro obligingly poured a refill.  Maybe he should get some kind of stand for the bottle, or he’d be doing this all night.

“I aim to be full of wine, so keep pouring, toothpick,” Blob laughed.  They lapsed into a moment of comfortable silence while Pyro finally had a chance to drain his own glass.

“So how’s it feel to be back in the land of the living?” Blob ventured.  “Ya know they cured that Virus just a few months after you croaked. Ain’t that a kick in the teeth?”

“I wasn’t gonna last a few months at that point.  I wasn’t gonna last even a few days, so…whatever.”  Pyro shrugged.  He still couldn’t remember the moment of his death, but he remembered some of the time leading up to it, feeling incredibly frail, and wondering every night if he would wake up in the morning.  Is it gonna be tonight?  Today? Will I just drop dead trying to walk down the street?  Even if some miracle cure had appeared, he suspected he would have been too far gone at that point.  

“It’s just good to be healthy again,” he added.  And wasn’t that the truth.  Just walking around, breathing the ocean air freely and without pain had been heavenly. He’d made it a point to get laid the first time the Marauders spent the night in Taipei – hadn’t seen any of that action for months before his death.  He didn’t want to touch anyone after the diagnosis (he was a selfish bastard, but not so selfish as to potentially spread the disease), and pretty soon pain and fatigue had meant his cock was the furthest thing from his mind.

“Yeah, I bet.  Ya made a real spectacular flame-out at the end, there,” Blob said, and there was something left hanging in the air at the end of that sentence.  What Pyro might have called a “pregnant  pause,” in one of his novels.  He gulped down another large swallow of wine.

“Yeah that was….I dunno.  I dunno what I was thinking, exactly.”  He hadn’t been able to believe it when Mystique showed him the headlines.  Sure he’d tried to help her save her shitty racist spawn Graydon Creed (a spectacular failure, thanks to X-Factor), but it had still been him playing Follow the Leader, trusting Mystique to know the right thing to do.  Apparently he’d made that final decision completely on his own – turning on his comrades to save the man they’d once tried to assassinate.  He didn’t like to look at the articles – all splashed with that one famous picture of Kelly cradling his dead body.  It made him feel sick to look at it.

Blob just grunted in response, and the silence became uncomfortable.  Pyro sighed.

“All right, you want me to say it? I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for turning on you guys.  I can’t say I’m sorry for protecting Kelly.  I guess I thought it was the right thing to do at the time, and I’ll stand by that.  But I’m sorry for going against you guys.  And especially for killing Post.”  Blob snorted, but held the stewpot out for more wine.

“You were gettin’ real soft near the end there, toothpick.  Can’t completely blame ya, I guess.  You were starin’ death right in the face, and Legacy was probably eating away at your brain. Avalanche said you seemed half-delirious near the end, whenever he went to see ya.”  

“Maybe I was.”  Time had gotten fuzzy back then – long patches of confused dream-like haze, punctuated by sharp, painful clarity.  Dominic would be there one moment and gone the next, conversations evaporating mid-sentence.  He’d lay down for a moment in the morning and wake up in the evening two days later.

“It was just all starting to seem a bit pointless, ya know?”  He continued after another swig of wine.  “All that violence….well, I won’t deny it was fun.  I don’t need an excuse to start a fight.  But it was also for a cause, right?  And things just kept getting worse no matter what we did.  I guess I just thought….if I could change the guy’s mind, maybe things would be different.”  

“Well, ya did change his mind, I’ll give you that.  Too bad he got himself killed right after that,” Fred smirked.  

“Yeah.  That’s the real kick in the teeth.  More than dying before the cure, really.  Bloody pointless.”  Pyro poured again.  

“I reckon everyone was pissed at me, yeah?”  At least the wine was giving him the courage to ask certain questions.

“Heh, yer lucky you croaked when ya did, really.”  Blob grinned. It was not a nice grin.  “I woulda snapped you in half for Post, invalid or no. Lady Mastermind wasn’t real pleased, either.  But you ain’t really here to ask about how I felt, are ya?  You wanna know whether yer boyfriend is pissed at ya.”  

Pyro was suddenly sitting up very straight, tension running up and down his spine.

“The fuck did you say?” he snapped.

“Oh, come off it, man.  Don’t act like I’m stupid!  I know you had this whole ‘don’t ask, don’t tell thing’ going on back in the day, but I figured it out.  We all did.”

“I don’t know what you’re blathering on about, mate,” Pyro said, each word coldly annunciated.  The tension from his spine was spooling tight in his mid-section.  “You’ve been watching too many soap operas.”        

“You’re the one that watches that crap, matchstick.  I gotta listen to you talk about ‘Home and Away’ every time you get smashed.  But don’t change the fucking subject.”  

“What subject?  Some made-up bullshit you imagined in your head?” Pyro’s hands were clenched tight around the glass.  Some logical part of his mind wondered why he was even making a fuss about this.  Times had changed a great deal in the years that he’d been floating in a void of nonexistence.  Iceman was openly gay, Mystique referred to Destiny as her wife, and no one batted an eye.

But still.  When Pyro was growing up, you didn’t say it.  You didn’t dare say it, because it would it ruin you, at best, and possibly get you killed, at worst.  It had been something he’d kept locked up tight in his chest, even when he was boldly and proudly “coming out” as a mutant.  And what he’d shared with Dominic over the years, secret little intimate moments slipped under the surface of their public friendship, had always rested on a foundation of silence.  They didn’t talk about what they did.  Didn’t even really acknowledge it to each other or try to define it.  It was their own special, private thing, and it was meant to remain unspoken.  

And now, here was Fred J. Dukes putting his fat, clumsy, grubby hands all over it, like a toddler smearing chocolate on a cashmere sweater.

“Quit bein’ so stubborn about it,” Blob continued.  “Ya think I’m stupid, that I couldn’t figure it out?  You guys were always slipping off together, locking your door.  Fuck man, I heard you two dumbshits in the shower together a couple of times when we were doing that Freedom Force thing.  My room was right next door, you know.  Haw!”  His laughter was an ugly sound.

“What, were you getting off on it?” Pyro snarled.  “Were you alone in your room jerking it to us, you fat fuck?  Probably the only action you ever see, ain’t it?  Assuming you can even find your dick.”  He paused, suddenly wishing he could hook the words back into his mouth, because he’d basically just admitted to it, hadn’t he? But he didn’t think he could stop now if he tried, with the anger burning in his chest, a familiar, almost comforting heat.  

“No, I was just sick of you both lying about it.  Pretending it wasn’t happening, and making the rest of us pretend, too!  Acting like we’re all idiots!”  Blob was on his feet now, red-faced.  

“Well, you never made that very hard, did ya, Freddie?”  

“Ya know what?”  And Blob had suddenly grabbed him by the shoulder with one meaty hand.  “I’m tired of your bullshit!”  Then Pyro found himself flung across the room, smashing into the wall and knocking crockery down to shatter on the floor.  Maybe he was going to get his spine snapped after all – but the way he felt at the moment he didn’t much care.  

“You always act so superior, like you’re sooooo much smarter than me.  What, just ‘cause you wrote some crappy books to help lonely women get their panties all moist?! ”

“At least I know how to write. Least I can get a woman wet,” Pyro quipped, while trying to climb to his feet.  Hell, Blob had just handed him that one, hadn’t he?  There was a blur at the edge of his vision, and suddenly Blob had grabbed the front of his shirt and tossed him again.

“You ain’t smarter than me!” Pyro could hear Blob bellowing through the ringing in his ears.  “You and Avalanche always acted like you were better than ol’ Fred Dukes, gangin’ up on me all the time.  Well, I danced on both of your graves, didn’t I?  I’m glad you died like you did.  Mr. Smart Fancy-pants, wasting away to nothing.  It was funny!”  Blob was towering over him, fists clenched.  Pyro raised his wrist and sent a jet of flame up at the man, mentally intensifying it enough to hurt as he darted for the door.  

“Augh!  Pyro, you asshole,” Blob roared, slapping at the flames on his clothing. They’d keep right on burning if Pyro wanted them to, and he had half a mind to let them.  Why not have a pig roast right there on the beach?  But in another moment he shook his head and let the fire gutter out.  Perhaps a mistake, as Fred charged out through the door.  

“Don’t think you’re getting away, you skinny little fucker.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Freddie, just getting myself a little more room,” Pyro said through clenched teeth.  “Go ahead and come at me if ya wanna get burned again.”  

Apparently Blob did wanna get burned again, because he ran at Pyro, arm raised to swing.  Pyro shot out another blast of fire at Dukes as he dove out of his path.  Blob tried to duck, but it was hard dodge fire that Pyro could mentally send wherever he pleased.  That was one advantage he’d always enjoyed over the fire-producing mutants.  This time it singed Blob’s eyebrows and licked at his shoulders.  Blob howled.

“Cut that shit out!”

“What, so you can hit me again? Ya know, this is why no one likes you, Blob!  You’re always flying off the handle.  Gotta turn everything into some big fight.  I was tryin’ ta be friendly, coming here- “

“Bullshit!  You didn’t come here for me, you came here for news.  You wanted to know if your boyfriend hated ya after what you did.  You only came to me because I’m the only one here who was with the group when it all went down.  The only one let alive, anyway.”  

“I came to you ‘cause I wanted to drink with ya, Blob.  And you started acting like a dick, like ya always do!” Pyro protested, although he couldn’t quite suppress a guilty twinge.  Blob wasn’t entirely wrong…and if Avalanche was alive again, it probably would have taken him even longer to get around to visiting Dukes.  

“You’re the one who started getting all hot under the collar when I was just tryin’ ta talk to ya!  But I ain’t surprised, I know where I rate!  None of you assholes give a shit about me!”  Blob charged again.  Pyro sent more fire swirling towards him.

“You wanna keep getting singed, Freddie, I could do this all da – oof!”  Pyro grunted as Blob ran right through the fire and slammed into him, shoulder first, knocking him back into the well-tended vegetable garden.    

“Pyro, you jerk, I worked on that for weeks!”

“Ya knocked me right into it, ya stupid wanker!”  Pyro jumped to his feet, brushing ruined squash and pumpkin off his uniform.  “I’ve been pulling punches, but if you come at me again, I will absolutely barbeque you, you fat piece of shit.  Then you can wait in line for resurrection behind all the people that actually deserve to be alive and breathing right now!”

“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Me gone, and you all alone with your precious Dominic and your new X-Men friends.  I know you wouldn’t miss me.  Nobody would!  Ya know I tried to kill myself, back when I lost my powers?  And who was there for me?  No one, that’s who!”  

“….ya tried to kill yourself?” Pyro paused for a moment. Dropping his guard was a mistake, as Blob charged again and belly-slammed him several feet away.  It might have done some damage if he hit a tree, but luckily he just rolled on the soft sand.  

“Freddie, wait, what’s this about – “

“It was a fucking nightmare.  I had huge folds of skin hanging off my body. I looked like….like melted wax or something.  Couldn’t go out.  Couldn’t look at myself in the mirror.  It hurt just to move.  I tried…tried to cut my own throat, and I couldn’t even get through the skin.  And none of the Brotherhood lifted a goddamn finger to help me!  You had Dominic holdin’ your hand and cryin’ over ya, ya think anyone spared a thought for me?!”

Pyro clambered to his feet, feeling uncomfortable.  Angry Blob he was used to.  People called Pyro a hothead (and maybe it was just a little bit true), but anger seemed to constantly run under the surface with Fred, coloring every interaction – snide remarks during briefings, playful banter quickly turning into explosive outbursts, laughter that always had a cruel undertone, always at someone else’s expense.  But this was new.  Fred’s voice was shaky, threatening to crack.

“Freddie, are ya serious?  Look mate, I didn’t know.  I was – “ Dead, he was about to say.  But they were interrupted as a sudden telekinetic force lifted Pyro off his feet, leaving him flailing uselessly in the air.

“The fuck?”  Blob slurred.  Something was tugging at him, a psychic force attempting to lift him skyward. Attempting, and failing, as he remained solidly on the ground.  

“Haw!  Who’s tryin’ ta lift me?” he laughed, digging his feet into the sand for good measure.  “Ya must be really stupid, whoever you are!”

The pressure around Blob increased, and the sand at his feet flattened as Blob pushed  down with his personal gravity field.  

“Keep tryin’, Chuckles!  That tickles!” Blob yelled.  

“Hey, whoever you are?  You wanna put me the hell down?”  Pyro called out, from a good six feet in the air.  “Unless you wanna see me blow chunks all over this beautiful beach.”  He’d been tipped partially upside-down, which was really not helping his drunken nausea.  

“All right, that’s enough, lad. We’re just here to break it up, and it’s broken up.”  Banshee stepped out of the jungle, accompanied by a scowling boy with pink hair that Pyro didn’t recognize.

“Aww, are you the one tryin’ ta lift me off the ground?” Blob cooed nastily.  “That’s cute.  Nice effort, kiddo, but ya obviously didn’t do your homework.  Nothing moves the Blob!”  

“I could telekinetically hurl you into the sun, you simple-minded tub of lard,” the boy snapped.  “I’m only holding back because of Krakoan rules. But by all means, feel free to try my patience.”

“Try my patience?”  Pyro repeated incredulously.  “Hey Freddie, this kid thinks he’s Magneto or something.  Simmer down, junior.”  Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to be mocking the mutant who was telekinetically holding him suspended in the air, but booze had ruined Pyro’s already less-than-stellar decision making skills.

“It’s Kid Omega,” the boy corrected, and whatever he wanted to say next was drowned out by Pyro and Blob’s obnoxious, jeering laughter.

“Kid Omega, you’ve gotta be bloody kidding me!  That’s so adorable!”  Pyro stopped laughing as the boy bounced him up and down in the air a few times. “Seriously, ya don’t wanna do that. I’m gonna – “ he interrupted himself by spewing wine and stomach fluids all over the ground below him.

“Gross, dude,” Blob said casually.

“Listen, we’re here because you boys are causing a public disturbance,” Banshee said, hands on his hips.  “Remember, you’re expected to follow certain rules and keep the peace if you wanna stay on Krakoa.  Pyro, I thought you might be better than this since you joined Kate’s crew, but I guess you’re still just as dumb and violent as always.  I don’t think Storm’ll be pleased to hear about this.”

“Aww, c’mon mate, “ Pyro sputtered, still trying to spit the taste of bile and sour grapes out of his mouth.  The wine wasn’t nearly as good coming back up, and his stomach was roiling.  “It was just a little scuffle that got outta hand. We weren’t hurting anyone.  ‘Cept each other.”

“Oooooh, you’re in trouble now, Pyro! Banshee’s gonna tell on you,” Blob drawled.  “Then they might kick you out of their little heroes club.”  

“Piss off, Freddie.”   Pyro would never, ever admit to that particular fear, buried deep under a shit-ton of apathy and forced bravado.  He honestly kind of liked the Marauder crew, despite having tangled with most of them in the past (although in some respects, he really liked them more because of that.)  He knew he had the reputation of being the loose cannon of the group, given how frequently he was reminded not to kill (as if Sabretooth’s horrific fate wasn’t enough of a deterrent), but he was following all their bloody rules, wasn’t he?  He wasn’t keen on getting thrown out.  He’d go stir crazy on the island without a way to burn off all his energy with “a bit of the old ultraviolence.”  

“Don’t think you’re off the hook either, Blob,” Banshee said sternly.

“Awww, whattaya gonna do?  Use Lady Mastermind to force me to be a good boy?” This apparently struck a nerve, as Banshee blanched for a moment.  He’d have to ask Blob about that later.

“Maybe we should, if that’s what it takes for morons like you to behave yourselves,” said the kid snidely.  “No wonder the cause of mutant rights never got anywhere before if it was championed by you two losers.”

“Hey, I ain’t gonna listen to any lip from some brat that hasn’t even grown pubes yet,” Blob snarled.  “I was out busting my ass for mutant rights while you were getting conceived behind a bowling alley at 3 AM!”

Pyro was about to chime in with something equally nasty, when suddenly his entire world shifted.  The beach disappeared, and he was floating with the vastness of space stretched out before him.  Stars and planets that he had never seen, that he couldn’t even conceive of, glittered in impossible colors against the darkness, and it would have been extremely cool, if not for two unfortunate facts.  One – he couldn’t breathe, and his lungs spasmed and choked in a horribly familiar way when he tried.  Two – it was cold.  It soaked through his skin, into his bones, seeming to devour him from the inside.

And then, just as suddenly, he was back on the island, still shivering in the tropical heat, taking deep breaths of the moist air scented with the ocean, the faint perfume of nearby flowers, and the strong scent of sour wine.  He’d been dropped onto the sand, and was lying in his own vomit.  Well, he’d always said it wasn’t a good night if you didn’t puke on yourself at some point.

“Whoa, that was a hell of a thing,” Blob stammered, still shaking as Pyro sat up.

“All right, boyo, that’s enough. I’m not sure what you did, but I’m sure they deserved it,” Banshee said briskly, putting a hand on Kid Omega’s shoulder.

“I made a universe in my own mind, you know.  And I can put people there anytime.  So don’t piss me off,” the boy said, staring daggers at Blob.  

“Yeah, yeah, nice tricks, pink hair,” Blob waved his hand dismissively, quickly recovered from the ordeal.  “I used to work with a guy who can do illusions. You’re nothing I ain’t seen before.”

“I’m Omega level!”  the boy snapped, as Banshee just shook his head.

“i’M oMeGa LeVeL!” Blob mocked, and Pyro couldn’t stop himself from snickering.  

“Forget it, lad, they’re not worth it. They’re just drunk and stupid. Very, very stupid, “ Banshee said.  “I’m giving you idiots your one warning, got it?  If I have to come back out here, you’re gonna spend the night in the drunk tank – which is NOT built for comfort – and spend all day doin’ community service tomorrow.  There’s bathrooms to be cleaned, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, message received. We’ll be good,” Pyro said.  He almost wanted to apologize, it was right on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t bring himself to say the words in front of that posturing little brat.  Banshee he could respect, but not this pissant half his age that thought he was the next Big Thing for mutantkind.  There was always one of them running around.  

“Yeah, we wouldn’t wanna keep junior here up past his bedtime,” Blob added.  “He’s obviously already cranky.”

“Shut it, or I’ll let him put your minds through a telepathic blender,” Banshee snapped, but he grabbed the boy by the arm, and walked off into the jungle.  There was a quiet moment, while Pyro staggered none too steadily around, gathering up the wine bottle and their respective glasses (or pots), then collapsed against Blob’s side.  He needed something to wash the taste of stomach acid out of his mouth.  And besides, throwing up meant he was entitled to more – it was like hitting the reset button on intoxication, right?  He could feel Blob quivering against him, and realized after a moment that the man was shaking with laughter.

“Can….can you believe that little twerp,” Blob gasped.  “Strutting around with his boots and leather jacket like he’s hot shit.  Oooo, look at me, I’m Kid Omega!”

“I think pink hair is a substitute for having a personality!”  Pyro chimed in.  “Probably jerks off to…..I dunno, what are kids into these days?  Is it still Harry Potter?  NSYNC?”

“Fortnite?  I think?”  

“What the fuck is Fortnite?” Blob shrugged in response.

“Christ, Freddie, we really are over the hill.”  Pyro shook his head and filled Blob’s stew-pot to the brim.  

“Well, you ain’t.  You missed some years an’ I’m pretty sure they brought you back younger.  You’re missing some lines there.”  

“Missing scars, too.”  Pyro stretched his arms out in front of him, as if he could see through the spandex.  Underneath, they were disturbingly smooth, no trace of the marks life had left on him.  Like Blob’s skin, which was almost impossible to pierce.  But he probably had scars hidden somewhere.  

“Hey, Freddie.”

“Yeah, string bean?”

“About that whole….suicide thing. What you said earlier.  You wanna talk about it?”  Blob shifted against him.

“Nah, it…it wasn’t really such a big thing.  Just went through a rough patch, is all.  You know me, I can bounce back from anything.  That’s why I made it so long.  I was kicking up shit way back in the day, and I’m still kicking now.  No need to resurrect the Blob,” he finished proudly.

“Yeah, you got me there.  Me, and a lot of others.”

“Too many.”  Blob shook his head.  “I been waiting forever for Unus to come back, but seems like he’s low on the list. Most of us are.  Same old story.”

“Yeah.”  Pyro had asked Mystique when Avalanche’s turn would come, but she couldn’t give him a clear answer – given that Destiny hadn’t been resurrected yet, it seemed like she didn’t have a huge amount of power over those decisions, despite her position on the Council.  Would former terrorist criminals come before or after the millions of mutants that had died at Genosha?  Meanwhile other Council members’ family and friends got pushed to the front of the line, and Magneto couldn’t be bothered to stand up for people like Avalanche and Unus and the old Mastermind – but he’d still brought back several of his Acolytes (even Fabian Cortez, who, according to what Frezny had told him over a couple of drinks, was the absolute worst.)  Of course Magneto would bring back fanatics that worshiped the ground he walked on.  He couldn’t completely quiet the fear that lingered in the back of his mind – that this whole thing would eventually fall apart, before certain people came back.  

“I guess I was lucky to be a guinea pig after all, otherwise I’d probably be at the back of the line somewhere.”

“Fuck it, man, it’s all political. They just bring back their people, or the ones they think’ll be useful.  I’m lucky I ain’t croaked,” Blob sighed.

“They’d bring ya back, Freddie. You’re one of a kind.  Look, mate, I’m sorry about what I said.  That no one likes ya.  It’s not true.  I like ya. Toad likes ya.  Dom liked ya, even though you picked fights all the time.  I’m glad you’re here and not dead.”  Pyro wasn’t sure why he was being so generous after some of the crap that Fred had said, but to hell with it.  He was probably feeling soft ‘cause of the whole “suicide” thing.  And when it came down to it, he didn’t have that many friends – and his very closest one was still dead.  May as well appreciate the ones that weren’t six feet under.

“Only picked fights ‘cause you guys were always looking down on me, acting like your powers were so much better,” Blob grumbled.

“We only did that because you were always throwing your weight around, pretendin’  you were too good to follow Mystique’s orders, bein’ nasty to everyone – “  Pyro abruptly stopped, biting his tongue. This wasn’t where he wanted this conversation to go, and he was still just sober enough to remember Banshee’s threat if another fight broke out.  He sighed deeply, then poured Fred another generous serving of wine.

“Fuck, Fred, let’s not do this. We’ve been through some shit together, yeah?  We all acted like dicks sometimes back in the day, but it doesn’t really matter now. I’m sorry I said you were a fat piece of shit.”          

“Well, I kinda am, ain’t I?”

“If you’re a fat piece of shit, I’m a skinny piece of shit.  None of us are exactly saints in the Brotherhood.”

“You’re a saint.  It’s right in your name.”  Blob poked at him clumsily.

“Yeah, real ironic, that.  Gran wanted a good Christian name so I’d be good Christian lad.  Buckley’s chance of that.”  

“You get real Aussie when you’re drunk, ya know that.  Can’t barely understand ya.”  Blob was starting to slur now, having gone through the equivalent of several vats of wine at this point.   “But hey man, I’m sorry I said that I was glad you died.  I mean, I was glad right when it happened.  I was mad at you ‘cause of Post.  But it was a shitty way to go, wasting away like that.  You didn’t deserve that.  Gettin’ eaten up inside by your own power.  I remember when that happened to Unus.  He…he died right in my arms, man.”  Blob’s voice sounded shaky again.  Pyro reached up and patted his side – somewhere below the armpit, since he couldn’t reach huge man’s shoulder.  

“Sorry, Freddie.  I’m sure Unus didn’t deserve that, either.”  Pyro had never met the force-field wielding mutant, but he’d heard stories when Blob was feeling especially drunk and sentimental. But he didn’t think he’d ever seen this kind of raw vulnerability from Fred J Dukes before.  He’d blame the wine – stupid wizard probably cursed it with a sadness spell or something.  Get the mutants to drop their guard by making them all soppy.

“He sure as hell didn’t.”  Blob actually reached up and rubbed his forearm over his eyes, and Pryo diplomatically pretended not to notice. “I miss him, man.  He was a real stand-up guy, you know, for a criminal piece of garbage, and he didn’t let anyone push him around.  Don’t think I’ve ever clicked with anyone like him.  And now they’re danglin’ this resurrection thing in front of us, and who knows if they’ll ever get around to him?  Must be worse for you, with Dominic, right man?”

“I sure as fuck miss him,” Pyro admitted, downing another glass.  “He’s my best mate.”  

“Hey look, man, what I said earlier, I wasn’t tryin’ ta –“

“Freddie, I really don’t wanna talk about it.”  Pyro abruptly found himself pinned as Blob swung an arm down around him, holding him pressed against his side.  “What the hell, Freddie, are you tryin’ ta flirt, now?”

“No man, just listen.  Listen, listen man, shhh, listen,” Blob said in what he probably thought was a soothing whisper, while Pyro pushed uselessly against him.  “I don’t wanna start another fight, but I got stuff I wanna say.  I wasn’t tryin’ ta be a jerk before, okay?  When I brought it up.  I just wanted to say that, you know….we knew.  We ain’t that dumb, and you guys weren’t that slick.  We figured out you were – “

“Don’t say it, okay?”  Pyro snapped.

“Fine, but dude.  Listen.  We don’t care.  That’s the important thing here.  I mean, we probably cared a little back in the day.  I admit I made some pretty shitty jokes, but, you know, times were different.  I mean, ‘homo’ was the worst thing you could be back when I was growin’ up.  Until mutants started becoming a thing, of course.”

“Yeah, same here,” Pyro muttered. Apparently this conversation was happening whether he liked it or not.  He downed more wine to try to stop his insides from twisting up.

“But everything’s like, different now. Most people don’t give a shit anymore. Including most of us in the Brotherhood. I mean, it was stupid to ever care in the first place.  We’re already a group of outcast criminals, and we’re gonna judge you guys for wanting to bang each other?  It’s cool if you don’t wanna make out in public or get married or anything, but you don’t haveta sneak around anymore.  I’m cool with it, Toad’s cool with it.  I think ‘Tazia had you figured for gay even before Avalanche came back.  ‘Cause you weren’t drooling over her like Toad an me.”

“She was a perceptive one.”  Pyro wondered for a moment whatever had happened to Eileen.  She had been close-mouthed about her past – and Pyro could respect that – but extremely intelligent, and fun to talk to.

“The point is, it’s a brave new world and all that.  Dudes are marrying each other, chicks are marrying each other.  There’s a whole show starring drag queens that’s run for like, 10 years or something.  It’s all mainstream now.  I mean, I still don’t get it.  Making out with another dude sounds gross to me.  But I ain’t got no problem with other people doing it.”

“That’s real decent of you, Fred,” Pyro said, and he wasn’t totally sure if he was being sarcastic.  This was a surprisingly heartfelt comment coming from Dukes.  “You spend a lot of time writin’ that speech up?”

“I’m tryin’ ta be nice here, okay, matchstick?  And I’m just sick of you pretendin’ ta be straight, an’ me havin’ to pretend I don’t know.”  He trailed off, and gulped down his pot of wine, finally releasing Pyro from his grip.

“Fair ‘nuff,” Pryo conceded. Even though actually dragging all this out into the open felt horribly uncomfortable.  Exposed.  “Don’t expect me to do some big ‘coming out,’ thing or wear a rainbow or any of that crap, though.  I’m not into that.  My private life is my private life, right?  I’ll just….stop trying so hard to hide it, you know?”  

He’d already started to relax his guard a little in front of the Marauders, even picking up a guy at one of the bars that Iceman always dragged them to – although he’d waited until Storm and Bishop had left for the night, and Kate and Iceman seemed too drunk to notice. Iceman seemed to think Pyro was straight, as he’d asked him, with a mix of nervousness and defiance, if he “minded” the first night they went to a gay bar.  That probably would have been the time to say it, if Pyro was a little braver, but instead he’d just shrugged and said, “No worries,” like a good tolerant fellow.  Of course they wouldn’t care.  For all he knew, maybe none of them were straight.  He’d seen Kate give sideways glances to girls, Storm and Calisto seemed to have some chemistry between them, Bishop never seemed to mind men hitting on him at clubs.  But still. A literal lifetime ago, he’d been afraid of getting his teeth kicked in, or worse.  Things were different now, but actually coming out and saying it….it was not so much baring his chest, more like stripping completely naked and handing the other person a knife.  

“Hey, fine.  Do what ya want.  But I’m still gonna make fun of you and Dom if you get all lovey-dovey in front of us.  Not because it’s gay, just because I hate that hearts and flowers crap.”  

“I would expect nothing less, Blobbo.” Pryo took another long drink of wine, refilled his glass and downed it again, until the tension eased out of his spine.   

He supposed it had been stupid to assume that no one noticed.  Everyone living in close quarters, both in Brotherhood safehouses and government facilities (not to mention prison).  They’d all known.  Had they gossiped about him?  Laughed behind his back?  Been disgusted?  

But then, Toad and Phantazia had both hovered over him protectively in the first stages of his illness, when they were all on Empyrean’s private island together.  Toad had even talked about how glad he was that Avalanche could be “there for him,” and wow, there was probably a coded message that Pyro had been too dense at the time to pick up on.  Mystique was certainly not one to judge, and she’d figured him out ages ago. And if Fred Dukes, of all people, was accepting, then…well, it was probably okay, wasn’t it?

“Hey, matchstick.”

“Yeah, Freddie?”

“You and Dom.  Who tops?  Be honest, ‘cause I got money riding on this.”

“Shit, Freddie, I gotta be way drunker for this conversation.”  And he poured again.  The bottle continued to oblige.  

  When he opened his eyes a crack, the sun pierced right through to stab into his brain.  Pyro groaned and squeezed his eyes shut again, bringing one arm up clumsily to better block out the light.  He felt like utter shit, and that realization caused a sharp spike of alarm in his chest.

Sick.  I’m sick again.  

Or maybe he’d always been sick. Because it was all too good to be true, wasn’t it?  Dying like a hero, coming back to life on this magical island where mutants from all sides of the political divide were having nonstop raves and orgies, getting to sail around and play pirate with the X-Men, who accepted him as a team-mate without question.  How could that possibly be real?  Wasn’t it more likely that this was all just the fever dream of a dying man, still lingering comatose in a hospital somewhere?

Except Pyro realized in a moment that he was lying on sand, with ocean waves creating a comforting rhythm just at the edge of his hearing.  And the pain he was feeling wasn’t quite the same as what the Legacy Virus had done to him. His head was pounding like a drum, he ached all over, and he was fairly certain he wouldn’t get through the morning without barfing at least once – but he could breathe without pain.  He sucked in a deep, cool breath and slowly let it out again.  No coughing, no burning in his lungs, no constricting weight on his chest.  

This wasn’t Legacy, it was a very familiar kind of suffering.  One he’d inflicted on himself many times before.

“Heya, toothpick!”  Blob’s voice boomed cheerfully in his ear.  “Had a little too much last night, huh?”

“Uggghhhhh…..fuck off, Fred,” Pyro mumbled, trying to roll away from the sound of his voice.  Moving made his stomach flip-flop, and he stopped for a moment.

“Haw, haw, ya shouldna tried to keep with me, ya scrawny little light-weight,” Blob guffawed, but he didn’t sound as mean as usual.  Pyro feel something cool being pressed against his face.

“Here man, drink this and come back to life.”  He opened his eyes again, wincing, and accepted the water bottle that Blob was holding out to him.  

“Probably gonna take a few of these, Fred,” Pyro said, carefully sitting up, pausing for a moment to swallow saliva and wait for his stomach to hopefully quiet itself.  Then he began sipping the water cautiously.

“You’ll probably need a couple of these, too,” Blob offered, slipping him some aspirin.  

“Thanks, mate, right neighborly of ya. You’re in a good mood this mornin’ aint ya?”  He swallowed the aspirin and gulped down more water.

“Well, I actually was smart enough to drink water last night, so I didn’t totally wreck myself.  Plus I never get hit too hard with hang-overs. Got all this extra body mass cushioning me.”  He laughed again, slapping at his belly.  “Besides, it was hilarious watching you last night.  You were trashed, man.”

“Well, I had good company, didn’t I?” Pyro looked around, squinting in the bright morning light.  He’d wound up sleeping sprawled out on the sand at the edge of the jungle, just a few feet away from Blob’s hut, thankfully some distance away from the puddle of vomit he’d left the previous night.  He remembered that part clearly – the fight, the encounter with Banshee and that little pink-haired shit acting as Krakoa’s rent-a-cops, some of the heartfelt conversation that had followed.  And then, the night dissolved into a dream-like haze.  Well, they weren’t locked up in the drunk tank, so they must not have gotten in any more trouble.

“Least I know how to handle my liquor,” Blob chuckled.  “You wanna shower, toothpick?  You smell like something Wolverine rolled in.”  Pyro grimaced as he realized that the sour aroma of dried puke and smashed pumpkin was wafting up around him.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”  

He spent a good twenty minutes in the shower, using Blob’s surprisingly luxurious bath products, then gave his uniform a thorough scrubbing, and fire-dried it.  He’d get a clean one from the Marauder later, but he didn’t feel like sitting around smelling like garbage in the meantime.  

Vague images kept floating up out of the haze while he washed, little snippets of memories dissolved in wine.  

…..Blob putting the stew pot over his head and fastening a curtain around his shoulders, staggering around shouting, “To me, my Brotherhood!  Throw yourself under the bus for mutant rights!  I’m a self-important jackass and I don’t actually care about any of you, my loyal soldiers!” while Pyro rolled around in the sand laughing hysterically…….

……Pyro splashing into the waves, yelling back at Blob, “I’m gonna do it, you’ll see!  I’m gonna fight one a’ them sharks with my bare hands, then fry up it for dinner!  We’re gonna have a barbeque right on the beach, yeah.”  Blob was bellowing laughter while pulling him back with one hand, so that he was helplessly flailing around, swimming in place. “C’mon mate, I can do it!  Aussies aren’t scared of sharks!  We’ll kick the shit out of any animal!”  “C’mon dumbass, this won’t be nearly so funny if you drown,” and then he was being hauled back up onto the beach……

…..then he was draped across the stomach of a maudlin Blob, who wasn’t even bothering to hide the tears that dripped down his cheeks.  “It’s just….what am I if I’m not the Blob, right?  You’ve got those stupid books, but what have I got?  I mean, I’m nothing without my powers.  I tried to make it work back then, I really did.  Got my own reality show, got real popular in Japan, but it just wasn’t enough.  I was miserable not bein’ the Blob.”  Pyro was patting at Blob’s stomach, almost kneading it like a cat, in what he probably had thought was a comforting manner at the time, muttering encouraging nonsense,” Nah, Freddie, c’mon mate, you’ve got lots to offer, you got a big heart and a big personality……”  

….then the two of them were chucking the last of Blob’s squash and pumpkins at the trees.  For some reason they were both singing “Highway to the Danger Zone” at the top of their lungs……

Pyro just sighed and tried to blink it all away.  It wasn’t actually the worst drunk memories he had.  At least neither of them had gotten naked.  He hoped.  

“Hey man, you took your sweet time. You jerking off in there?”  Blob said as he emerged, piling eggs and bacon onto a plate and passing it to him.  Luckily his stomach had settled a great deal by then.

“Nah, I wouldn’t be so crass, Freddy. I only jerk off in my own shower.”

“Guess it’s not as much fun without Avalanche, huh?”  And Blob actually winked at him.

Pyro opened his mouth to snap back at Dukes, to tell him to shut up and mind his own damn business.  Then closed it again, because he couldn’t actually detect any malice in the other man’s tone.  Not needling him, just…playful joking, in Blob’s own crass way.  

Instead, he just shrugged and grinned. “Guess so.  Thanks heaps for the food, Freddie.  And the bloody aspirin, I really needed that.”

“Well, what can I say, I know my manners.  I’m a hospitable guy,” Blob chuckled, sitting down to his own breakfast.  “Besides, it’s the least I can do after what you gave me.”

Pyro paused with the fork mid-way up to his mouth, thinking back.  What had he given him, besides a whole fuckton of wine?  

“’Fraid I don’t quite remember what you’re referring to there,” he said cautiously.  Had he promised his services or something?  Given up some of the booty he’d stashed from raids with the Marauders? (He didn’t feel at all bad about that, as the captain herself was actively encouraging them to take as much booze and money as they pleased.)  

“The wine.”  Blob jerked a thumb over to the shelf on the wall, where the bottle sat surrounded by little ornaments, as if occupying a place of honor.

“Oh yeah, well I’m always glad to share – “

“No man, the whole bottle.  You gave me the bottle.”  

Pyro’s fork slipped out of his hand. Fuck.  Fuck!  He hadn’t. Surely he hadn’t been so stupid as to give up a priceless treasure like that, just because ol’ Blob had gotten a little weepy last night.  Surely not.

“Oh hell, I didn’t really, did I?”

“You did!  You insisted.”

And much as he wanted to deny it, there was a memory creeping back into his mind.  Himself, holding the bottle up to Fred with a grandiose air, waxing poetic about how he would be Krakoa’s Dionysus, Life of the Party, Keeper of the Mysteries, and the other mutants would frolic around him like the Maenads. Christ, he really was a pretentious sot when he got drunk, wasn’t he?  (But hey, he couldn’t help that he’d gone through a pretty heavy Greek mythology phase as a kid.  It was just so interesting!)

“I….guess I might remember something like that,” he conceded hesitantly.  “But that doesn’t count, does it?  You can’t hold me to that!  I was trashed out of my mind!”

“Not so trashed that you couldn’t blather on about a bunch of Classical bullshit!”   Blob declared.  “It was damned funny.  And if you think I’m givin’ this bottle back to you, you’ve got another thing coming.” His tone stayed light, but a sharp gleam in his eye suggested the promise of another fight.

“C’mon Freddie, you’ve gotta be kidding me!”

“Look man, I thought this might happen. So I got video evidence.  I got a message from Drunk Pyro to Sober Pyro.” He held out his cell phone.        

“Fuuuuuck,” Pyro moaned, not even wanting to see.  He took a side glance at the bottle, so inviting out in the open.  He should just grab it and run.  Instead, he heard the sound of his own voice, slurred with wine, Australian accent even thicker than usual so that he was running his words against the backs of one another.  

“I, St. John Allerdyce,” the figure on the video stopped to belch, “bein’ of sound mind an’ body, do hereby bequeath this bottle of never-endin’ wine to Frederick J. Dukes, the Blob, forever an’ ever, no take backs!  Be’cause…..’cause….he’s my good mate, an’ he needs somethin’ for himself, an’ I’m fulla good will tonight.”  The figure was bleary-eyed and staggering, but at least he seemed to be happy, judging by the wide grin stretching his face.  

“Fuckin’ hell, Drunk Pyro,” Sober Pyro groaned, laying his head in his hands.  That bastard had gotten him into more scrapes than he could count.

“But!”  Drunk Pyro continued on the video.  “There’s….conditions.  One….no….two! Two…two conditions.”  He swayed for a moment, seeming to look up at the stars before pulling himself back together.  “Condition the first!  You gotta share the wine, Freddie.  Share it like, like I’ve been…been sharing it.  Bring it to all the parties.  Pour for….for eeeeveryone.”  He made a sweeping gesture and nearly fell over.  “Condition the two!  You gotta….gotta give me special access, right?  I get ta come over and drink as much as I want, any time I want, yeah?  No matter what!”  

“I accept your conditions,” came Blob’s voice from behind the camera.  Drunk Pyro grinned again.    

“Then I now pronounce you man and bottle!”  He crowed, holding it aloft.  “You may kiss the …wait, no, don’t put your mouth directly on it.  Everyone’s gotta drink that.”  

“Now make it official by singing Waltzing Matilda.  That’s Australia’s national anthem, right?”  Blob’s voice suggested on the video.

“No, it isn’t, “ said Sober Pyro.

“Yes, mate, you’re exactly right!” exclaimed Drunk Pyro.  He made it through one off-key verse and chorus before fumbling the words and collapsing to his knees, laughing.

“Hey man, thanks for this,” said Blob’s voice on the video, as a hand reached out to take the bottle from Drunk Pyro. And Blob actually sounded a bit sincere. “I really appreciate it, ya doing something like this for me.”

“Well, you’re my special mate, right?  We’ve been through loads together.  And I feel sooo wonderful tonight.  I’m fulla…..fulla love for everybody!”  Drunk Pyro spread his arms out to the stars.  “The world is so bloody beautiful, yeah?”

“Who do you love, Pyro?”  Blob asked from behind the camera.

“Everybody!  All the little mutants, and even the humans, too!  The ones that aren’t too shitty, anyway.”

“Who do you really love?”  Blob asked pointedly.

For a moment, Drunk Pyro looked up at the camera in confusion, then he lit up with the nicest smile Pyro had seen on his own face in a long time.  It wasn’t cruel or sarcastic, not sloppy drunk or wild with adrenaline.  It was the kind of genuine, soft smile he’d described in many novels over the years.

“I love Dominic!” Pyro exclaimed, hugging arms around himself and slumping down against the sand.  “I love Dom.”  

“Oy, you fucker!”  The video switched off abruptly as Sober Pyro made a grab at the cell-phone in Blob’s hand.  “How dare you, how fucking dare you pull that shit!  Fucking shit-cunt!”  

“Hey man, chill out!  You gave me the bottle fair and square!”  Blob held the phone over his head, while Pyro began trying to clamber up him.

“Forget the bottle, I don’t care!  Why would you make me say that!  On video, for fucks sake?  You lookin’ to blackmail me?”  

“No man, no!”  Blob plucked Pyro off with his other hand, and deposited him back in his chair.  “That’s not what that was about!  I ain’t gonna show it to anyone.  Here, look, I’m deleting it.  Geez.”  Blob pushed a couple of buttons in his phone.  

“You were tryin’ to make me say it, though, weren’t you?  Why would you want me to say that?!”  Pyro glowered at him over the table.

“I dunno man, I was loaded, too! I just….thought it would be nice, I guess.  I thought maybe….maybe you’d feel a little better if you said it.”  Blob looked confused, and again oddly vulnerable.  Not mocking or mean.    

“You thought I’d feel better?  Seriously?”  Pyro gave a breathless laugh.

“I mean….yeah, man.  It’s like what we talked about last night.  You’re so uptight about this shit, but no one cares anymore.”  

“Fucking hell, Fred,” Pyro sighed, putting his head in his hands again. Fucking Blob.  Fucking Drunk Pyro, spewing everything out into the open.  

But….it probably had felt kind of good to say it in the moment, hadn’t it?  All open like that?  He couldn’t deny, Drunk Pyro had looked beatifically happy when he said those words, his eyes soft and gentle.  Perfect for a scene in a romance, even if he was absolutely humiliated to see that expression on his own face.  He supposed there was no sense in denying it.  He’d said it, after all.

“Don’t spread it around about Dom, okay?  I mean, I know what I am.  I’ve known for a long time, and I guess I don’t mind people knowing, now that we’re all enlightened these days.  But I think Dom’s still working some things out.  Or at least he was.”

“Yeah, sure, man, my lips are sealed,” Blob agreed.  “So, are we cool?”  

“You deleted that video, right?”  

“Yep.”

“And you’re gonna give me free wine whenever I want, just like you promised, yeah?”

“Of course!  I’m a generous fellow, and I don’t go back on an agreement!”  Blob pressed a hand against his chest, proudly.

“Then, yeah. Freddie.  We’re cool.” 

Notes: Apologies to poor Quentin Quire, he didn’t deserve the crap Blob and Pyro were throwing at him.  I have nothing against the character, he just seemed like the kind of arrogant young hot-shot mutant that Pyro and Blob would have no respect for (even if he could absolutely destroy them).

[exoversxl]

cc facts while this is my permanent account now i guess? xD (more under the cut)

There are approximately 1500+ countries on Arda (Earth). The entirety of the Earth is protected by the EMCU, centered in The Benevolent and Blessed Confederacy of Missouri, in the Former United States Region. The Exoversal Major Crimes Unit is lead by Trippz Grissom, who came from the Unity Hearts Multiversal Cluster. The Crossover Chaos Exoverse was formed from a parental dispute between Xedra Colmare, and her then-husband Xalgoth. Their dispute was so explosive, that it destroyed Exoverse Zero, and started the First Exoverse. The couple had 3 sons, and 1 daughter that they were fighting over. Bone, the oldest, Venom, the second oldest, Ice, the second youngest, and the only daughter, and then the baby of the children, Qhkarus Colmare, who later reincarnated into Puggsy (Fangface). Fanboy (Fanboy and Chum Chum) is in the Adventurer's Club (Mission: Magic!) due to being in a relationship with the leader, Kim Yu. He loves her to pieces, and they are due to marry within a few weeks as of this writing.

Fred Jones and Daphne Blake (Scooby Doo) ended up together, and ended up having kids. Velma is an eternal bachelor, and Shaggy ended up with Makoto of Jupiter, also known as Sailor Jupiter. (This was inspired by ScoobMoonBusters) Fangs (Fangface) is gay, and ended up with a skateboarder by the name of Ken Hunter. They were both famous in the 2000s for their skateboarding, so they are considered a power couple. Winston Zeddemore ended up retiring from the Ghostbusters, and is now married to Queen Ti'yah Clarke of the Desert Nekonian peoples. He is also a Monster Hunter, and is good friends with Black Panther and the people of Wakanda. Nagisa Misumi and Honoka Yukishiro (Futari Wa Pretty Cure) are married. They still have their Precure powers in this universe, and Nagisa is a high ranking commander in the Japanese Defense Force. She is semi-retired from it, though, but can still be called in if there's a situation. Honoka works at S.H.I.E.L.D as a scientist, alongside Velma Dinkley, Tom Van Beuren (Van Beuren Tom and Jerry), also of the Antiknyghtz!, and many others. Eugene Meltsner (Adventures in Odyssey) is an alien, his blood originating from the planet Bagklock. He is of the Ixfay tribe, and is a Bagklockian Skypiean. His real name is Yuija Malznar, and he is of blood related to the previous royal family. He cannot step foot on Bagklock due to that fact, and has lived on the planet of Avalon most of his life. Milkweed (Fanboy and Chum Chum), Hogwarts and Sakurazami (Magic School from Mahou Tsukai Pretty Cure) are part of the same school system. Hikaru Hoshina (Star Twinkle Pretty Cure) went here in Crossover Chaos after graduating her canon school. This is where she met Gastoon Lagaffe (formerly Bow Lagaffe), and Kyle Bloodsworth-Tomason. They currently share an apartment together. Shantae is in a relationship with Vinnie Malaproper (Mission: Magic!). Because of this, she is semi-retired from protecting Sequin Land, which is situated in the Caribbean in this universe. If shit goes down, though, she will go there and save the day. Vinnie often comes along when this happens. The Lylat System (Star Fox) is a dead galaxy. It is currently being mined by the Byakkan Empire, a black comedy parody of KallyPanaStudio's Jellielandia. John Avery Whittaker (Adventures in Odyssey) is a retired Green Lantern. He used to fight alongside Hal Jordan back in the day, and retired during the Blackest Night Crisis. Beatrix (Gaston) Lagaffe is a Grey Jedi. She used to be a true Jedi, but then lost her mind, becoming what she is now. She is also a Grendel, a space werewolf species, is queen of them, and is also a trans woman. Gaston, her name in original canon, is instead her deadname. British Columbia, a capitalist country originally part of Canada, and Alberta, a communist country also originally part of Canada, constantly butt heads over a lot of stupid stuff. The rest of the 1500+ countries in the world think they're idiots. In the ancient past, an ancestor of Housemaster (Arfenhouse) came to Earth from space and landed in Ancient Ireland. His spaceship looked like a toaster, and he even called it such. Hence, why the country of Ulster is named such, and why toasters are named toasters. Wreck-it Ralph and Fix-it Felix are the mail carriers for Muncie, the Democratic Protectorate of Indiana. They have rubbed shoulders with Garfield and Jon Arbuckle, by the way, and are aware of Garfield's heritage from the Stars and Stripes Supergalaxy, and his ties to the Biker Brethren of the planet of Washington. They find it super ridiculous. Sailor Moon and Goku are married, and rule the Moon Kingdom together, due to the fact that Tuxedo Mask and Chichi died heroically in the Exoversal War. Chibiusa in the Crossover Chaos universe's father is Goku, hence she has a pink Saiyan tail. The universe of Ni No Kuni is one of many "parallel universes" in Crossover Chaos, and Swaine Pendragon, who in this universe is a Naga, comes from that universe. Parallel Universes and Alternate Universes are different things. Parallels are universes where there are different people existing then the main verse. Alternates are where the same people exist as the main verse, but are under different circumstances then the main verse. Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters is in the same school system as U.A. High School (My Hero Academia) and the Splitsboro Sidekick Academy (Sidekick), among others. The Time Knife (The Good Place) is on Pluto, in the Time Palace. It is watched 24/7 by guards that are trained from birth to protect it.