#so that also feels y'know!

[pynkhues]

It's interesting, thinking of how Lestat's traumatic experiences influence the way he perceives and seeks love. I'm curious about your thoughts on something I've been pondering, but I don't feel like I can articulate it that well. Lestat clearly wants Louis to be attracted to him, which makes sense, presumably that's what most people want in romantic relationships. But even that feels tied up, to an extent, in all the trauma -- Magnus chose him partly for his beauty, and his looks/sexual appeal have always played a big part in how others react to him. So it feels sometimes like he thinks that's the main thing he has to offer, and that's partly why Louis not wanting to have sex much on the rat diet feels like such a rejection, like if even his body/face can't entice Louis, then he has nothing. So in the present, what would it take for Lestat to feel confident both that Louis is extremely attracted to him, AND that physical attraction/sex isn't the main reason Louis wants to be with him or the main thing he has to offer?

As I'm typing, I'm thinking that maybe this is obvious--of course most people want their partners to find them attractive AND not to feel like that's the main/only reason their partner is with them. It just somehow feels more complicated with Lestat. And I think you're already exploring this really gorgeously in your fics, actually...just by the way you show that Louis and Lestat have this insane physical connection and need for each other, but Louis keeps fighting to know Lestat on a deeper level too, and Lestat can see that. But anyway, if you had any particular thoughts in this area, I'd love to hear them.

It's definitely an interesting thing to consider, anon! Lestat's vanity is definitely a major part of his character, and while I do think it pre-dates Magnus, I agree that it's probably in part compounded by his turning. Like you said, Magnus chose him in part for his looks, and his beauty is really emphasised throughout his turning, both through Anne's prose, but also specifically through Magnus and Lestat himself.

Half of what Magnus says during his turning is about Lestat's looks, and even in the immediate aftermath, he's laid out a beautiful outfit for him to wear (red slippers and white hose and a red velvet suit worked with gold and rubies and pearls and the same Italian lace of his mother's wedding dress, which has been a fascinating detail to me since I picked it up on re-read) and Lestat spends paragraphs looking at, and admiring himself in a mirror. There's something to it that sort of feels soaked in the sense that Lestat was intended to be a kept boy, only now he has no keeper, and I suspect that's probably partially why Rolin and co have made the decision to extend it from two nights to a week.

Your ask actually brought two beats from s1 to mind - first Lestat's considerable considerables line from 1.05 when Louis' ignoring him as he searches the newspapers for Claudia, but also that tiny moment in 1.01 when he and Louis first meet and Louis makes that jab at Lestat's wardrobe that Sam lets land on Lestat's face in a way that I always love.

(And this is a sidebar, but there's an interesting thread with the clothes too in that people really do dress Lestat a lot - from the theatre troupe to Nicki giving Lestat the wolfkiller cloak, to Magnus laying out those clothes, to Louis updating his wardrobe in New Orleans, than dressing Dreamstat in his favourite suit - - it's one I think about a lot).

Both moments I think speak directly to what you're saying in that Lestat places a lot of his own value on his physicality - both in terms of his appearance and his sexuality - and so the lack of acknowledgement of either, or even a perceived slight against them, I do think is probably felt pretty deeply? It's all intrinsically tied up for him with the trauma of Magnus, yes, but I think also his freedom and ability to survive in Paris was dependent on his looks. He was beautiful enough to be on the stage, for people to want to look at him, something Nicki makes clear in the books and Armand makes clear in 2.03, and in that sense, what he looks like (and his ability to play a role that an audience wants) marks his life and his death and his rebirth in a way that probably only Armand could relate to.

So yeah, I think you're right that even beyond the natural desire to have your partner be physically attracted to you, Lestat probably needs it as a form of validation and that it probably carries a lot of weight in conversations about his self-worth. As for what it would take for him to feel confident in that? I don't know! A part of the fun with Lestat is that he's so in-the-moment that I think he'd probably pendulum between knowing exactly how much Louis wants him / is attracted to him, and being crippled by insecurity about it if, like, Louis didn't look up from his book fast enough, haha. I do think he'd probably like it when Louis dresses him though, because not to go back to that sidebar, but between those relationships (and his conviction is always that he and Magnus loved each other), I do think he probably sees that as an act of love and attraction.

And thank you for your kind words! Interestingly, the sentiment of what Lestat and Louis give each other, both sexually and otherwise, has been a thread in the cruising fic, so it was fun to get this ask and think about it a little more, haha.

[egophiliac]

like mother, like son, but less wholesome this time?

(I couldn't decide whether or not to put them together, so have them in all the different ways!)

[thespacesay]

apartment dwellers, or those with communal laundry situations.

feel free to explain your choice in the tags, especially how polite/impolite you view your choice.

[lazylittledragon]

do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great

i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually

[nicandragon]

if youre still taking requests, i would love to see something where laios is wooing kabru or maybe laios and kabru working together post-canon :)

Shit's rough ...have Kabru finally getting the shoujo moment he deserves <3

Also my friend said that Kabru looks like he's reacting to a marriage proposal instead of a flirt so I doodled them crying about it as well

[saltpepperbeard]

hugs ed hugs ed hugs ed hugs ed hug—

[softerhaze]

arden aged up 🥺

and IMMEDIATELY started getting on my nerves??

don't worry guys, paloma's gonna keep him in his (spare) place

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Inquisition: I spend three hours in the Hinterlands fighting bears for their leather to make new armor and weapons for my companions while tracking down every landmark for the Saga of Tyrdda Bright-Axe, Avvar-Mother. My party is Blackwall, Vivienne, and Cole. I'm exhausted. I think to myself, "I miss my man." With one last bear, I finally have enough materials.

I go back to Skyhold, but the armor/weapons and the war table missions can wait. I rush into Cullen's office. I press him for updates, and he asks me if he should be worried about the cake Sera gave him [he should], and I tell him he needs to take a break.

I take in the view as I wait for him. He arrives, and in front of all the Inquisition scouts, soldiers, and the Maker Himself, we kiss. I am content, I am satisfied. Can't wait to do it again.

Veilguard: I spend what feels like three hours fighting that damn forgotten one dragon in Necropolis that I'm clearly under-leveled for but keep trying to kill out of spite. Taash and Emmrich are in my party. I'm exhausted. I think to myself, "I miss my man." We finally kill the dragon, and as we leave, Taash and Emmrich bicker about something that I'm tuning out.

I go back to the Lighthouse. Companions have quests for me, but they can wait. I rush up the stairs and break into a sprint as I burst through the doors, dart across the courtyard to the dining hall. I find Lucanis in his pantry. He's sitting on his bed with a cup of coffee in hand.

As I approach, he lifts his head to look deeply into my eyes, and he says to me:

"I think we're getting low on onions again."

Tears well up as I realize there's no affection to be had. I leave the pantry, leave the dining hall, and go hug Assan for the 2547th time.

I didn't think it was possible to feel so touch-starved while playing a dragon age game, and yet, here I am.

[deoidesign]

One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)

We all start somewhere!

[perpetual-fng]

a very rendered roach

[averycutesalamander]

i have extremely neutral opinions about SMAUs (social media AUs) but i just thought about what Boothill's role would be in one and im kind of losing my mind about it.

his account handle is @.silvergunshura and he literally only posts clumsy nature photos and occasional pics of his gun. a handful of videos that are just the sound of the wilds. never puts any captions or tags on his posts. extremely long unacknowledged absences with no schedule. double-digit amount of followers at an absolute maximum. absolutely no interaction with his audience. or anyone else on the platform actually. quite frankly he doesn't pay any attention to his following in the slightest. bro simply cannot be bothered. for all he cares he is sending these photos to the void and there are no other users on the platform.

and then he posts one (1) video of him at the shooting range nailing bullseyes left and right like it's nothing. barely half of his body is in frame and most of his face is covered by his hair. someone with a decent following shares it and his entire fucking profile EXPLODES because people will NOT stop talking about how hot he is and it kinda snowballs from there. people go through his entire backlog only to find ZERO other posts with his face or body in them. the best they get is little snippets of his arms. people are frothing at the fucking mouth trying to figure out who he is and nobody knows because he literally hasn't said a single word in his entire posting history. people make theory posts, which obviously gets more people invested in this new mystery. his comments are filled with people speculating about who he is and what the fuck he's doing. someone posts a massive spreadsheet detailing all of the identifiable locations in his posts, and they're literally all over the galaxy. immediately afterwards they're cancelled for some vague allegations about them being a shady intelligentsia guild member guilty of multiple human rights violations and everybody completely forgets about the spreadsheet.

Boothill posts a single blurry photo of his hand feeding a chipmunk and people lose their goddamn minds. he follows this up an hour later with a photo of the same chipmunk sitting on his shoulder that is somehow even blurrier than the last and it briefly trends on the front page. a week later he uploads a video of him playing a harmonica by a campfire, once again barely in frame, lit only by the flickering fire. people brighten the video in a desperate attempt to get a better look at his face, but there's nothing identifiable. someone posts a slightly unhinged video examining the tiniest pixels in every screencap of him that they can find, claiming that he's definitely a halovian because of some extremely blurry details, and you technically can't deny it as a possibility because there are no clear shots of where his halo or wings would be. naturally this severely divides fans, and several other theories about his species pop up over the course of a few days. many people are called morons from all sides.

the REAL drama comes when he posts a picture where he's holding what looks suspiciously like an extremely precious meteorite-formed gem that was stolen during a private IPC auction two weeks ago. this post is also notable because it's the first time he's used a caption and it's literally just "lol". naturally people quickly connects the dots and realize that he's BOOTHILL, that crazy motherfucker with the vendetta against the IPC, and why the fuck is he posting nature photos and videos of him feeding birds and shit. silvergunshura fans are instantly divided by discourse about whether or not it's ethical to be a fan. "silvergun fans dni" and "silvergun antis dni" become staples in the bios of people invested in the drama. a bunch of fans start using his substitute swears, and whether or not this is ironic is extremely debatable. the business of cyborg modifications has a moderate boom. anti-IPC sentiments have a notable increase, but now the people doing serious exposés and earnest discussion about the humanitarian crimes of the IPC that are concealed from the public are constantly called simps. there's a brief stint with a handful of Boothill copycat crimes that are all solved within the week.

people unsuccessfully try to hunt down any other potential socials to no avail, but this does spawn a massive wave of fake accounts on a million different platforms, which obviously successfully baits a ton of people. the drama gets even spicier when the moderators shut down his account. one of the mods gets doxxed by an outraged fan. even more fake accounts pop up. Boothill comes back less than a week later as @.silvercowboy244 like nothing happened. his returning post is a crooked picture of a sorta weird looking tree, and he's pointing toward the top left of the frame. the caption is just "bird?" and nobody can figure out what the FUCK that's supposed to mean, because there's no bird visible in the picture, nor is there a bird nest in the tree. conspiracy theories and decoders are immediately chomping at the bit trying to figure out if it has some kind of secret meaning.

tons of people try to use his posts to pinpoint his location for clout or the bounty money or to find him in person and beg him to let them give him head, but he never posts them exactly when they're taken, and nobody can figure out what the fuck logic he's using to pick his next destination. there's an IPC investigation. his accounts keep getting banned but he keeps coming back like a cockroach. dedicated fan archives are made to preserve all of his shitty photos. he never acknowledges any of the drama.

if you're fortunate enough to know Boothill personally and you ask him about all of that weird shit with his socials, he just shrugs and says, "yep, i keep gettin' locked out. can't remember passwords for shirt." if you ask him what he thinks of all the drama surrounding his online presence, he gives you the most bewildered expression you've ever seen on his face. "what the fork are you yappin' about?? what do you mean i got "band" ?? disk horse??? docksing???? i think you've got a few screws loose buddy" and he promptly forgets about the entire ordeal and goes back to posting blurry nature pictures like literally nothing happened.

edit: here's part two-ish lol

[somegrumpynerd]

Actually it turns out I had more thoughts about that post that I forgot about lol

Would Nightmare actually give up his boys? Yes and no

If it was just a black and white situation of they're miserable, they don't wanna be here, they have somewhere better to be, then yes. He would leave them out to wherever they needed to be despite his own feelings and very quickly realise afterwards just how much he'd gotten used to the noise and company. I think he would get a little clingy with Dream about it, which I'm sure Dream would find very weird after everything but not unwelcome, he did miss his brother after all.

(If he couldn't attach himself to Dream's side for whatever reason, I think he might just sit in his castle and go insane. Or maybe he'd just spend all day at Ccino's trying really hard to project that he just likes the atmosphere and isn't lonely as hell)

But the thing is, most of them don't have somewhere better to be. Horror has his au, and Nightmare would keep up the supply of food even if Horror said he wanted to quit at this point, so he would understandably let him return home. Killer, Dust and Cross effectively don't have aus anymore though, and they tend to get into self-destructive habits when they're left to their own devices. (Obviously bringing Color and Epic into the mix to make sure Killer and Cross are taken care of eases matters, but Dust doesn't really have any friends outside their group he could go stay with - that Nightmare knows about at least).

The flipside of this is that his boys may not necessarily want to be given up. I think if Nightmare got really in his head about this he could easily end up convinced this is the right thing to do without ever asking them if it's what they want, with potentially terrible results. He's established such a pattern of always returning to find Killer when they get seperated, that if he never showed up Killer might just keep sitting there and waiting for him greyfriar's bobby style, refusing to leave because he's certain his boss is coming back.

[hood-ex]

"Love" and "proud" and "family" come up so frequently in bat comics now. Bleh. Bring back something I can relate to like emotional constipation and repression.

[wolves-in-the-world]

the thing about eliot spencer as a character, right. the thing about him.

(and as always your mileage may vary on my analyses so if we disagree that's cool actually)

is that he is in fact a somewhat emotionally constipated idiot who is occasionally sensitive about his perceived masculinity and gets defensive about emotional intimacy around other men (largely hardison, who's much more comfortable expressing affection and embracing a softer kind of masculinity), but eliot displays enough emotional awareness and sensitivity and respect for women etc etc that anyone who's been subjected to that era of television will put on rose-tinted glasses without even looking twice.

(and he is, don't get me wrong, incredibly emotionally aware for a professionally punchy guy with enough trauma to sink the titanic. it still startles me to see.)

on top of which we have the layers and the accessories and the excellent hair with the secret braids and the way he barely has an ego and he's good with kids and protective of his team without taking it too far, and some of us never stood a fucking chance.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Detectives at the Disco (Elysium)

[juney-blues]

i think gamers dismissed the notion of keeping score in non-arcadey titles too easily i think. some games are a lot funner if you try to play them with score in mind