#so sorry to everyone on the ace spec that has to deal with that

[massiveladycat]

me watching another aroace character gets erased and forced into dating

[tender-emotional-music]

Hi, I love your blog!!! It's so tubular to talk to fellow Stranger Things and Byler enthusiasts and you really get the characters. I wanted to ask, when do you think Mike and Will started liking each other, when do you think they realised it, and how oblivious are they to each other's feelings? Also any opinions you have on Mike's sexuality and his feelings for El? I'm aro-spec ace and way too fixated on analysing the platonic/romantic nuances of relationships, and it would be so cool if you could break those down in Mlvn and Byler. Make the answer as long as you like, I could talk about Byler for hours! This blog is totally sweet!!! Oh, any Byler headcanons you have too, sorry for such a long ask, lmao.

Sorry, i haven’t been checking my inbox and completely missed this ask 😭

I think Will has had a crush on Mike pretty much since he can remember, but it’s around s3 that he starts to realise it, with everyone growing up and having to see Mike in a relationship. He represses it throughout the summer, and it’s in s4 that he’s consciously aware and accepts it. Will is still dealing with his own internalised homophobia though, and fully believes that Mike will never reciprocate, hence him giving away his feelings in the painting scene and essentially resigning himself to helping fix Mike and El’s relationship, since he wants them to be happy and thinks this is how that can be accomplished.

Mike is more complicated, but I do believe that he realised he was in love with Will/gay/bi/however you interpret it in the s3 finale. Just the flashing between his and Will’s faces as the van drives off, focusing on him looking back at the Byers house and hugging Karen, and also him looking like he’s having a *realisation* when El says she loves him (while kissing him in front of an open closet with “The First I love you” playing - the song which also plays when Robin comes out to Steve in the episode prior). He’s aware of it then, but I think he seriously represses it and also doesn’t think Will is gay. It’s cool to see him leaning back into his more nerdy interests and being influenced by Eddie to be more carefree in s4 though, since we see him start to shed the idea of being “normal” and conforming (which is a big theme for Karen and Nancy too. That damn Wheeler family 😭)

I’m still torn as to whether I see Mike as bi or gay. Pre-s4 i was firmly in the gay Mike Truther camp, but I can see them going either way and I think there is evidence to support either reading. S1-3 he comes off as possibly being bi, but s4 it seems like he’s been written as gay. Either way, i hope they do it justice, as it will recontextualise his actions and his relationship with El differently depending on what his sexuality actually is.

Regarding El, I do think that he and El have work to do if they want to have a proper friendship after they break up. I don’t think they’re immediately going to fall into being besties, since they don’t share a lot of interests, and we don’t actually see much of their dynamic as friends, since the romance overshadows it. Regardless, they care deeply for each other and I’d like to see them start to make up for lost time and form a friendship.

And finally for headcanons, we know Will gives art to Mike, so I imagine Mike also gives Will little stories and stuff he writes. After the stuff with Vecna is over, i love to think of them starting a comic series together, maybe taking inspiration from their own experiences with the UD and their friends. They’d probably go to the same college too, and would move to a city, but still live a relatively quiet life and maybe adopt a dog. I think Mike would also start to listen to some of Will’s music. We know he calls Should I Stay or Should I Go “that weird song” in s1 and if we take his playlist as canon he seems to personally prefer synth music to rock, but I think he’d probably listen to some of Will’s faves to feel closer to him. They’d both also love 90’s music, and we see that there’s a guitar in Mike’s room in s4 (probs Eddie’s influence) so maybe he’d try to play something for Will.

That’s all I can think of for now, but I hope this is fun to read and I answered everything well enough! Sorry for leaving it so late lol

[spidey-bie]

I didn't know I hc Hobie as a-spec until I saw everyone else writing him and I'm like ?!!! Why is he so horny!!!!!!!

I mean he's got I get it but tbh Hobie is REALLY attractive, tall, and a guitarist. I feel like he gets flirted at all the time. And he either doesn't notice or doesn't care, and if he does notice that means they're trying REALLY hard (too hard for his taste)

I mean... I could see a version of him who has one night stands (in a respectable mutual way) but even then I don't feel like he'd be very verbally vulgar or anything until alone with the person IDK Why

PLEASE tell me about your A-spec Hobie hcs cause so much as this smut is not computing for me!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO NORMAL ABOUT ASPEC HOBIE. *cough* I mean I have a lot of thoughts about this one. He never even did anything remotely flirtatious in the movie or the comics so idk where the flirty sex maniac came from. He seems more of a goofy and playful person in my eyes (like all my male friends were growing up.) But to each their own ig. I'm gonna split this in half and talk about my HCs for his Aromantic Identity first and then discuss his Asexual Identity. This has been on my mind for a while now. TW for sex mention.

Aro Headcanons

I love the way that @ministroni portrays him as feeling alterous attraction.

(In simple terms Alterous Attraction is when someone forms a deep emotional connection with a person. It borders between platonic and romantic. However it all depends on the person.)

He genuinely doesn't give a single damn about the norm regarding romantic or platonic relationships

He will kiss his friends.

Ace Headcanons

For the life of me I can't see this man shagging anyone.

I'm sorry I just can't.

However after speaking with the masses (my mutuals) I've reconsidered and have come to terms with the fact that he probably has had sex at some point but doesn't see the point in it.

Quoting @cqcophobiq he'll probably be like, "yeah it's fun but it isn't that big of a deal. Don't get society's obsession with it." And I have to admit that they're right.

(The closest thing that I can relate this to is him being Greysexual or Demisexual)

He'll probably never be the first person to ever initiate tho because it's not something that's important to him

His sexual attraction ebbs and flows. It's never consistent.

(You see what I did there 🤭)

However he's probably more likely to feel sexual attraction towards someone he's emotionally close to.

A/N: Sexuality is so fluid so it's hard to pinpoint my exact thoughts on this. I kept changing things throughout writing this post so it took me so long to come out with it. And even still I feel like there's still more here that I wanna look into here. Like why he's been hypersexualized in the fandom despite him never being shown as flirtatious. Even if you look in the comics he's never written as someone who's really interested in a romantic relationship (I'm ignoring his wife lol). But I'm not the one to write that post.

[iveneverbeenmorestressedinmylife]

Για το ask game Edgeworth και Ανδρέας

Miles Edgeworth 💅

First impression: OH I SHOULD GET INTO ACE ATTORNEY IMMEDIATELY THIS MAN IS GOING TO RUIN ME.

Impression now: I was one hundred percent correct in my assumptions. He did in fact ruin me. This man has the range honestly. He is kind. He is an asshole. He is traumatised. He has every subtype of daddy issues known to man. He is a bitchy gay queen. He is aroace-spec (to me). He is autistic. He has NO idea what to do with himself when he is not in a courtroom. He is insane. Ive seen it. I enjoy it. Amen.

Favourite moment: "thanks to you i am saddled with unnecessary.... feelings....". Everything about turnabout goodbyes. The talk with Franziska at the end of aa2. The talk with phoenix after the earthquake in aa3. I could literally never pick Just One moment sorry.

Idea for a story: ... I've brainstormed two (2) aus that involve Edgeworth with two different mutuals. The first one is the Eurovision au where vk just sends miles to represent germany in Eurovision and the second one is the ace attorney/παρά πέντε crossover me and @alalumin have been driving ourselves insane over. Out of the two, the first one is the most fleshed out but the second one i might actually sit down and write for one day. Thats about all the concrete story ideas ive had for this man so far dkskks. Everything else is just a jumble of vague angsty daydreams.

Unpopular opinion: hmmm a lot of people tend to ignore the fact that he was canonically suicidal after aa1 so i suppose that could count as an unpopular opinion? Like if he wasn't actually suicidal, the note meant that he straight up faked his death which makes him an even bigger asshole that he usually is, which in turn makes phoenix's misdirected anger and blame seem a lot more justified? Also a lot of people tend to ignore the fact that phoenix would NOT handle Edgeworth admitting that he meant the note literally well. And honestly im not really blaming anyone here. Their aa2 dynamic is sooo complex, Edgeworth hurt the people that cared about him by hurting himself and not all of them are ready to forgive him immediately and thats fine. I just wish more people would explore this whole thing instead of oversimplifying it yknow?

Favourite relationship: narumitsu obvs but honestly? The Franziska and Miles fucked up sibling relationship means the world to me, its like a really really really close second.

Favourite headcanon: does it actually count as a headcanon if its strongly supported by canon? Idk but he definitely avoids elevators as much as he can and considering that his office is in the twelfth fucking floor the man walks up a lot of flights of stairs. He must have thighs of steel skkskaka. Also i like to think that at some point after the investigation games he went to therapy and he finally (!) got some help for that unmedicated and undiagnosed canon ptsd hes been drowning in since he was nine years old. Also he got Pess because i love her. Maybe she is trained as a service dog. He would love her with all his heart and her death would kickstart a major depressive episode because god knows this man can't handle grief but in the end he could get over it. Maybe even get a second dog or learn how to deal with loss in a less self destructive way. Also i don't think he would ever be able to fully enjoy Christmas? Like sure his fathers death doesn't hurt as much anymore but i like to think that the nightmares rear their ugly head during the Christmas season. Sure, he IS doing better but some things never really go away. He can hang out at the prosecutors office or Wright anything agency Christmas parties without feeling utterly miserable but he doesn't enjoy the holidays as much as everyone else. Some people don't understand why or think thats its just another aspect of his charming personality but the people who do are sympathetic about it.

Ανδρέας Καλογήρου 🔪

First impression: γουαου ποιός είναι αυτός ο μαλάκας λολ. Ειλικρινά νομίζω την πρώτη φορά που είδα το παρά πέντε δεν με ένοιαζε πολύ σαν χαρακτήρας.

Impression now: κοίτα. Έχεις δει το μπλογκ μου. Ξέρεις πως νιώθω για αυτόν τον άνθρωπο. Ο Ανδρέας έχει θεματάρες. Έχει παγιδεύσει τον εαυτό του σε μια θέση στην οποία είναι ��αι θύμα και θύτης και από την οποία δεν έχει τρόπο ή ιδιαίτερη θέληση να βγει. Κατά την διάρκεια του σόου πηγαίνει από την αδιαφορία για τους ανθρώπους που σκοτώνει, στην εμμονή με το να πιάσει τους πέντε και μόνο όταν τον συλλαμβάνουν και όλα τελειώνουν συνηδειτοποιεί πόσο μάταια ήταν όλα αυτά και πόσες ζωές έχει καταστρέψει συμπεριλαμβανομένης και της δικής του. Επίσης ο άνθρωπος είναι μούναρος 😔😔.

Favourite moment: το τηλεφώνημα στον Σπύρο στο φινάλε με στοιχειώνει τα βράδια.

Idea for a story: πέρα από το ο Σπύρος επισκέπτεται τον Ανδρέα στη φυλακή fic που βρίσκεται αυτή τη στιγμή στο wip hell μου έχει καρφωθεί στο μυαλό εκείνη η ατάκα που ο Παυρινός αποκαλεί τον Νίκο πρεζόνι και το τι μπορεί να υπονοεί για το Ανδρέας/Νίκος μπακστορι. Επίσης εκείνο το όνειρο που είχα δει ότι έχει κόρη και redemption arc, angst fic για την γενική κακομεταχείριση που τρώει από τον Παυρινό, το Ανδρέας/Νίκος καφενείο au το οποίο κάποιος πρέπει να γράψει σας εκλιπαρώ και το προαναφερόμενο ace attorney/παρά πέντε crossover στο οποίο εμφανίζεται ως μάρτυρας στην δίκη της Αγγέλας. Το πόσα από αυτά θα καταλήξω όντως να γράψω ποτέ είναι πολύ αμφιλεγόμενο τβχ αλλά το γεγονός είναι ότι μου τριβελίζουν συνέχεια το μυαλό.

Unpopular opinion: δεν ξέρω είμαστε στο παρά πέντε φάντομ, είμαστε δέκα άτομα όλα κι όλα κάθε άποψη μετράει για unpopular κσκσκσ. Αλλά απλά και μόνο για να πω κάτι. Νομίζω όντως προσπάθησε να αγαπήσει τη Ζάνα. Ο γάμος τους ήταν ότι πιο hand in unlovable hand και σφάζονταν όλη μέρα αλλά προσπάθησε να φτιάξει τη ζωή του στην αρχή τουλάχιστον, εξού και ο ευτυχισμένος χετεροσεξουαλ γάμος. Στο μυαλό μου ήταν από αυτά τα ζευγάρια που έχουν ημερομηνία λήξης και το ήξεραν και οι δύο. Μετά έπεσε στα βαθιά με τις δουλειές με τον Παυρινό και πήρανε επιτέλους διαζύγιο. Επίσης δεν νομίζω ότι με τον Νίκο τα έχουνε, έχουνε. Νομίζω έχουν μια ελαφρώς fucked up relationship όπου δεν επικοινωνούν τίποτα εβερ, απλά πηδιουνται περιστασιακά on and off και μετά απλά πηγαίνουν και τα φτιάχνουν με άλλους. Τουλάχιστον στην αρχή. Τώρα αν μετά το τέλος της σειράς βγουν ποτέ από την φυλακή θέλω να πιστεύω ότι θα μπορούσαν να φτιάξουν λίγο τη ζωή τους αλλά αν δεν βγουν ποτέ. Well. Πώς νιώθεις όταν συνηδειτοποιείς ότι αγαπούσες τον καλύτερο σου φίλο χρόνια τώρα αλλά δεν έκανες ποτέ τίποτα για αυτό επειδή απλά δεν τολμούσες να αλλάξεις τίποτα στην μοναδική σταθερή σχέση που σου είχε απομείνει στη ζωή σου και ταυτόχρονα ήσουν πολύ απασχολημένος να σκοτώνεις κόσμο; Πώς νιώθεις όταν συνηδειτοποιείς ότι τώρα μπορεί να είναι πια πολύ αργά; Γενικά head full many thoughts.

Favourite relationship: Νίκος/Ανδρέας δαγκωτό.

Favourite headcanon: ναιιι δεν νομίζω ότι αυτός ο άνθρωπος είχε καλά παιδικά χρόνια. Ή καλό πατέρα. Ο Παυρινός κυριολεκτικά του πετάει πράγματα και αυτός ο καημένος σκύβει να τα πιάσει 😔 babyboy έχεις τραύμα. Η μάνα του είναι νεκρή (ναι κυριολεκτικά αναφέρεται έτσι throwaway σε ένα επεισόδιο και δεν το έχω ξεχάσει ποτέ) και επιλέγω να πιστεύω ότι την σκότωσε ο πατέρας του. Μισεί τον πατέρα του και κατά βάθος μισεί και το γεγονός ότι μεγαλώνοντας έχει γίνει σχεδόν ακριβώς σαν αυτόν. Ξεκίνησε να καπνίζει στο γυμνάσιο. Επίσης δεν πιστεύω ότι τελείωσε ποτέ το λύκειο.

[sangled]

I know this is old probably, but what was the whole thing about aspec/arospec exclusion, and how if someone used your picrews then they support it??

around 2019 (i made the picrew summer 2019, so this was probably a bit before), because i kept getting asked about my stance on ace/aro exclusivity, i spoke on it for the first time. i had no strong feelings on the topic, but admittedly i tended to agree with my friends, particularly lgbt artists of color, who shared more exclusive-leaning opinions.

so i said i didn't think being ace/aro made someone inherently lgbt, since i believed examples of ace/aro discrimination, while terrible, could be compartmentalized differently from lgbt discrimination. i wouldn't stop people from believing so and didn't aim to change people's minds because, again, this wasn't a hill i'd die on, and arguing about it on the internet felt ultimately unimportant in context of real-life lgbt movement. i was part of an lgbt club at my college, and i wasn’t going to treat an ace/aro member differently. i thought i was emphasizing neutrality and respect, though in hindsight i was callous and childish.

i had actually ended up turning a sensitive subject into a weird discursive experiment. i was inviting people to bring up counterarguments so i could try to turn it into something like a debate, though that was wholly inappropriate. i didn't really understand the issue itself, so i ended up recycling a lot of points i had seen floating around. so me hoping to explain things for broader understanding just ended up being a jumbled mess of thoughts and secondhand knowledge.

it was especially irresponsible of me because i did this on a fairly big platform, with people who obviously cared a lot more about the issue than i did. and it was shitty of me to just move on from it without addressing the damage i caused. and this isn't a call for pity because i 'didn't know better' - i had actively chosen to engage in something while preparing little research of my own. i was ~19/20 at the time, and i should've known better.

the picrew only brought it back to the public because as it got popular, people found my posts and warned others about the exclusivity, aphobia, etc. i think the worst it got was that people interpreted my apathy and ignorance for malice, as rumors spread that i was 'forced' to add in ace/aro flags to the picrew (i wasn't, i was asked and added them in like the autistic pride flag or any accessory) or that i hated people just for being ace/aro (anyone who knows me knows i don't dislike people for things they can't control). the picrew itself is just... a lot to deal with, as a result of its popularity. the a-spec discussion just added to it. the picrew itself was just a public character design project i wanted people to have fun with.

it was especially complicated because around this time i was struggling with my own relationship with the asexual spectrum, though i couldn't express it publicly without fearing it be interpreted as an easy escape from my mistakes. again, i hope this doesn't come off as a plea for sympathy. i just want to shed some light on my thought process and subsequent actions.

i've made public apologies since then, deleting the discussion posts in question since it pains me to remember how condescending i was. and since i'm bringing it up again, i'd still like to apologize now. a lot of my personal journey since then trying to be more educated and mature about the topic (as well as in general), and i'll only get better when people hold me accountable.

a lot of people won't see this post, and i'll still be inseparable from what i've said. but i hope it brings some comfort to know that i want to be better, and i don't want to repeat the same mistakes. and please don't harass on my behalf, either. i'd just encourage sharing what i believe now to clear misconceptions. i don't expect forgiveness from everyone, and i'd rather people distance themselves from me if that's the best option for their sake.

i genuinely believe ace/aro people deserve a place in the lgbt community, and that even if some people disagree, that shouldn't stop you from finding respect and acceptance in it. sorry that i had trouble saying that before, and sorry that this explanation has to be this long, haha. if you made it this far, i hope this has cleared things up.

[airiervessel]

When One Stops The Kiss To Whisper “I’m Sorry, Are You Sure You-” And They Answer By Kissing Them More with logince?

also combining this with an anon’s request of 57 and logince! // prompts are open! (list)

67. When one stops the kiss to whisper “i’m sorry, are you sure you-” and they answer by kissing them more 57. Breaking the kiss to say something, staying so close that they’re murmuring into each other’s mouths

Word Count: 2241 Pairing: Logince Content: high school au (i’m imagining them as juniors or seniors? so they’re both 17 or 18), childhood best friends, asexual logan, so much pining, healthy discussions of feelings

Logan and Roman are best friends. Logan always acts awkward around their friends who are couples, and he has an asexual pride patch on his favorite jacket, alongside the various NASA and other nerdy patches he has all over it -- many of which Roman helped him sew on. Once, a couple of years ago, during a sleepover when they were staying up late talking about everything, he told Roman that he didn’t think he could ever see himself in a committed relationship. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to do it.

Logan and Roman are best friends. Logan isn’t interested in dating. Neither of these facts stopped Roman from falling head over heels in love with him. 

He reminds himself every time he finds himself staring at Logan’s face, every time he realizes his heart is nearly beating out of his chest whenever Logan laughs. He pinches himself in the thigh when he feels Logan’s shoulder brush his, or when Logan’s hand passes over his as he reaches for a certain book or pen. He acts as normal as he can, flopping down dramatically onto the sofa next to Logan and throwing his legs over his lap like his stomach isn’t full of butterflies, and tries to ignore the way Logan’s fond eye roll and careful adjustment around Roman brings warmth to Roman’s cheeks. 

Everything Logan does makes Roman’s heart sing, and he wants nothing more than to confess his feelings because this is the one thing Logan doesn’t know about him, the one secret he’s ever kept from his best friend. 

They promised, once, at Logan’s ninth birthday party, never to keep secrets from each other again. Roman had helped Logan’s parents and brother plan a surprise party for him, and he had been so excited to see Logan’s face, to see his reaction when he walked in his house after school to find everyone gathered there, ready to celebrate with him. But Logan had been scared by the noise and the number of people and had run off to their treehouse in a panic, and Roman had followed him and helped calm him down from his first-ever panic attack. 

After, when Logan was sniffling into Roman’s shoulder, he asked Roman to always warn him about parties in the future. “I can act surprised,” he whispers, his voice thick from the tears. “But you know I need to prepare to spend time around a bunch of people.” 

Roman had pulled back and offered his pinky, his expression serious. “I promise to never keep a secret from you again, Logan,” he said, and Logan smiled and hooked their pinkies together. 

“I promise too,” he replied, his expression so trusting and open, even after Roman’s surprise had hurt him so much. 

Thinking about that exchange now makes Roman roll onto his back in his bed with a dramatic groan, covering his face with a pillow. Guilt burns in his stomach -- they’d promised never to keep secrets from each other, and here he is, two months after realizing he has romantic feelings for Logan, and he’s kept it to himself. He hasn’t told anyone, not his parents, not his other friends, not even his cat. The first person to learn important things about Roman has always been Logan, and it makes the guilt boiling in his gut even worse to think about sharing this secret with anyone besides his best friend. 

He rolls onto his side, tugging the pillow down off his face and frowning at his stuffed Winnie the Pooh on the other side of his bed. He has to tell Logan. He can’t keep going like this -- the guilt is already eating him up inside. It rises like bile along with the butterflies that appear every time he looks at Logan, the confession burning at the back of his throat before he clamps down and swallows it back. 

Roman is terrified of ruining what they have, of losing his best friend. But he can’t keep breaking their promise, either. 

---------

His resolution to confess to Logan turns out to be much easier said than done, as so many things are. He comes close several times over the next week, when they’re at lunch in their favorite spot in the courtyard, when they’re hanging out in Logan’s room studying, when they’re leaving math class and Logan laughs at something Roman says. Several times a day, the words burn his mouth, but his tongue feels like it’s glued to the roof of his mouth, and his vocal chords feel as though they’re tied into knots in his throat, and he can never say it. 

It’s Friday evening, over a week after Roman’s decision to come clean about his feelings, and still he hasn’t done it. He and Logan are in his bedroom, Logan reading a chapter in their history textbook aloud as Roman works on his current cross-stitching project. He focuses on the needle in his hands, on poking it through the fabric over and over again, the mostly-mindless work with his hands and eyes helping him process the information Logan’s lovely voice is reading. 

Logan stops, apparently having come to the end of the section, and Roman smiles even as he doesn’t look away from his stitching. “Alexander the Great sounds pretty awesome,” he says. “He actually listened to his men when they said they were ready to go home. That’s a pretty good leader, if you ask me.”

Logan usually argues with him on points like this, usually brings up some horrible thing the person did or the stupid way they died to counter Roman’s point, but he’s silent this time. Roman knows he’s not entirely right, knows Logan must have some kind of argument to make, so he looks up, turning his head to look at his best friend, tilting his head to the side in concern. “What’s up, Sir Nerds-a-Lot? You don’t usually let me admire historical figures without bringing up their flaws. Is anything wrong?”

Logan opens his mouth, then closes it, his eyebrows furrowed. Roman lowers his stitching to the bed and turns to face him fully, really concerned now. It’s rare that Logan is at a complete loss for words, and Roman is already running through the events of the afternoon, trying to find something that could have upset Logan. 

“Specs? Are you-” he begins, but he’s cut off by a mouth on his -- by Logan’s mouth on his. Logan is kissing him.

Roman is so shocked he can’t even respond, his eyes wide open as his hands flutter uncertain over Logan’s shoulders. He can see one of Logan’s eyes squeezed shut, and just when Roman is about to melt into the kiss, Logan pulls away, already rambling. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that without asking, I-” but Roman cuts him off as well, taking Logan’s face gingerly in his hands and capturing his lips in another kiss. 

And oh, is it amazing. He always wondered if the books were exaggerating when they described fireworks, but it really is like fireworks are going off in his chest, like bright spots of color are dancing behind his eyelids, like he’s never done and will never do anything as wonderful and amazing as kiss Logan Sanders. Logan’s arms wrap around his neck, his hands wrapping into Roman’s hair, and he hums into the kiss, feeling Logan shudder in response. 

He finally pulls back slightly, though hardly puts any space between them, his lips still brushing Logan’s as he whispers into the small space between them. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time now,” he breathes, and his stomach does a flip when Logan chuckles quietly in response. He presses another kiss to Logan’s lips, and the other returns it for a moment before pulling back, further this time, and stroking his hand through Roman’s hair as he meets his eyes. 

“Why didn’t you?” He asks, his expression open and so clearly happy that Roman has to look away, his eyes drifting to the side as something that feels suspiciously like shame crawls up his back, settling on his shoulders like a lead weight. 

Logan’s thumb traces back and forth over his cheekbone, though, and he brings one of his own hands up to cover Logan’s closing his eyes and smiling slightly at the sensation. “I thought….you have the ace pin. You told me that one time that you didn’t think you could ever be in a relationship. I thought you weren’t interested.” He turns his head slightly, pressing a feather-light kiss to Logan’s palm before opening his eyes, his lips still brushing Logan’s skin as he continues. “I didn’t want to ruin anything. I didn’t want to lose you.” 

Now it’s Logan’s turn to look away, looking sheepish. “When I said that….” he clears his throat, and Roman squeezes his shoulder where his free hand is resting on it. Logan looks back at him and smiles, seeming encouraged. “I didn’t mean that I did not want a relationship. I have, in fact, wanted one very badly for several years. With you, specifically.” 

Roman lets out a gasp at that, tightening his grip on Logan’s hand. “Lo…” he breathes, amazed that Logan’s felt that way about him for so long. 

(Then again, Logan has always been a genius, has always picked up on things faster than Roman, or anyone else, for that matter.)

Logan strokes his thumb over Roman’s cheekbone again, looking amazed that he’s being allowed to do it. “When I said that, I was actually speaking of my belief of my own inability to properly perform in a relationship. Being in a relationship with someone...it requires a great deal of emotional intelligence, which we both know that I do not possess. And…” he trails off again, looking away and pulling his hands away from Roman, who ardently wishes he would do anything but that. 

“And as you said, I am asexual. I would be….unable to. Perform. In that capacity. If we were to date.” Logan looks at his lap, clasping his hands together there and looking as if he’s about to cry. 

“Logan,” Roman chokes out, leaning forward and taking Logan’s face in his hands once again, tilting it up gently and stroking it with his thumbs as Logan just did for him. “Logan, I-” his voice breaks, and he leans his forehead against Logan’s, feeling the other’s hands resting lightly on his waist as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to sift through the roiling emotions in his chest. 

After a moment, he opens his eyes to meet Logan’s, one of his hands moving to brush his hair back, cradling his head as he leans back slightly, just enough so he doesn’t have to go cross-eyed to maintain eye contact. 

“I love you,” he says finally, his voice and heart barreling forward even as his mind struggles to catch up, as usual. “I love you just as you are, and all that you are. I would never-” his voice breaks again here, and he shakes his head, stroking Logan’s hair back again. “I would never make you do anything, anything, that you’re not comfortable with,” he finishes in a whisper. “I would love to be with you in any way that you’ll have me, whether it’s as a best friend, or a boyfriend, or a partner, or...or if you want to--to never see me again, that’s okay too,” his voice cracks once again, and this time tears spill out of his eyes and down his cheeks. 

Logan’s hands fly up to wipe them away, and his head is already shaking in Roman’s gentle grip. “No, no, no, I--of course I want to see you again, you idiot, you’re my...you’re my Roman.”

Roman can’t help but laugh wetly at that, and Logan surges up to kiss him again, and they fall silent for a few moments. When they pull back, Logan resumes wiping at Roman’s face, his expression soft. “I love you too,” he whispers. “And I’m yours. In any way you’ll have me.” 

Roman laughs and kisses him again, pecking him three, four, five times on the lips, then all over his face, drawing giggles out of Logan as Roman moved down to blow a raspberry on his neck. 

Later, they’ll order a pizza for dinner, and sit on Roman’s bed eating it and talking about everything they’ve always talked about, and everything they’ve never talked about. They’ll discuss their own boundaries, and who they want to tell about the relationship, and who’s going to plan their first date. Roman will joke about celebrating anniversaries weekly, and will immediately resolve to do it when he sees how the idea makes Logan blush. 

Later, Roman’s parents will come home and find Logan there much later than usual, and they’ll see how the two of them smile at each other and know that they finally worked things out. 

Later, they’ll fall asleep with Big Hero 6 playing in the background, snuggled close together under Roman’s comforter. 

But that’s all for later. For now they laugh, and kiss, and tickle each other, and bask in the glow of the new step of their relationship. 

Logan and Roman are best friends. They both spent a long time believing their feelings for each other are unrequited, that saying something would ruin their relationship forever. They were both wrong.

[fanfic-corner]

Under 10,000 Words

16/12/20 - I can never figure out what my favourite length of fic is, but I think it depends on my mood. Sometimes I want a huge, 200,000 word journey, and sometimes I just want a quick drabble. Anyway, here are some fics which are all between 2,000 and 10,000 words, organised by the word count.

Sleep Deprivation by Honey_Honey on AO3. (2,313 words).

Tags: Cute, First Kiss.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: The one where killing monsters leaves Dean without a week of sleep, and Cas has to deal with the consequences.

Notes: This was so fluffy and cute and I can totally imagine Dean overthinking everything while Sam just finds the whole situation hilarious.

That One Time Sam Winchester Googled Something Weird and It Had Pretty Awesome Results by quitepossiblyjanuary on AO3. (2,587 words).

Tags: Romantic Fluff, First Kiss, Stars, Humor, Courtship, Short & Sweet.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: In which Sam Googles something and his curiosity doesn’t kill the cat. Or him. Or anyone. It’s a pretty awesome feeling.

Notes: This was so adorable! Gabe was so sweet, and his mind reading skills made me laugh.

What Can’t Be Seen by destieldrabblesdaily on AO3. (2,639 words).

Tags: Soulmate AU, author!Cas, Strangers to Lovers, First Kiss.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Written for this prompt: Soulmate AU where you first see color after eye contact: Cas is a famous best selling author and he’s promoting his book, so he’s talking to a crowd of people and suddenly his world is in color, and a lot of his fans pretend to be his soulmate. A Cinderella type situation ensues.

Notes: This was really cute and such a sweet and funny idea.

The Tea is Decaf by mnwood on AO3. (3,673 words).

Tags: POV Castiel, Fluff, Sign Language, Castiel in the Bunker, Canon Compliant, Sharing Clothes, Asexual Castiel, Gentle Dean, Non-Explicit Sex, Domestic, Established Relationship.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Based on this text post from thebloggerbloggerfun: “Listen, imagine Eileen sneaking out of Sam’s room at night to go to the bathroom or something and steps out into the hallway in one of Sam’s shirts only to see Cas trying to quietly leave Dean’s room while wearing one of Dean’s shirts and they both just stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before trying to muffle quiet laughter and now they have a late night club where they talk about life and gossip about the Winchesters in sign language"And this anon I received: "what if Eileen and Cas discover there are some things Sam and Dean both do in bed because Dean jokingly gave Sam pointers when they were younger and Sam took the advice”.

Notes: This has to be one of my favourite fics of all time, even though the first time I read it I hadn’t even met Eileen yet! I’m still so pissed off that she wasn’t in the finale (unless we’re counting Blurry Wife?).

surely heaven wants for you by cenotaphy on AO3. (3,782 words). 

Tags: Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Heaven, Coda, Post-Finale, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Dean, Outdoor Sex.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Cas doesn't come to him. Dean can't really argue with that, given the circumstances. In all the history of balls in courts, he thinks there might never have been a ball as thoroughly in a court as this one is in his. He drives for what feels like a long time but might just be a single sunny afternoon, or maybe years (time's funny here, Bobby had said), just enjoying the music, the shifting landscape outside his window, the hum and creak of the engine. Finally the forest opens up and the road narrows down in a way that he's fairly certain wouldn't typically happen on any kind of earthly interstate, and he glides the car to a halt at the edge of a lake.

Notes: This was so beautiful and such a interesting exploration of Dean’s feelings!

a quick salt and burn by xylodemon on AO3. (4,609 words).

Tags: Episode Related, Cemeteries, Case Fic.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: "Fuck," Dean mutters, wincing as pain throbs in his shoulder and neck. After the ghost chucked him into the hedge, he hit the ground like ton of bricks and clipped an exposed tree root so old it was practically petrified. "So much for a quick salt and burn."

Notes: This is adorable and hilarious, so a double win.

Funny Bone by PallasPerilous on AO3. (4,933 words).

Tags: Fluff and Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Skeletons, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Alternate Universe - No Angels, Canon Divergence, Mild Gore.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: It wasn’t even a particularly creepy skeleton; it was in kind of a “just chillin’” pose on the floor. One ankle was still locked up in a heavy iron cuff, at the end of a short chain leading back to the wall. Snoresville, as dead stuff goes; Dean’s seen worse at Disneyland. It was the skeleton’s comment about Dean’s ass that really livened things up.

Notes: This has to have been one of the funniest fics I have ever read, but oh boy did I feel bad for poor Cas.

Grace by july_19th_club on AO3. (5,164 words).

Tags: Fix-It, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Resurrection, Reciprocated Confession.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: A man dies. What happens next will shock you. [script]

Notes: This was written beautifully, and now I really want to see this filmed! So much better than the ending we got.

(un)conventional by imogenbynight on AO3. (6,100 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe, mechanic!Dean, Writer!Castiel, Conventions, Fluff.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Spec Lit Con--Speckly Con, to it’s regular attendees--is an annual weekend-long event held in Chicago, dedicated to science fiction, fantasy and otherwise speculative literature. This year Dean's favorite author, C.J. Novak, is appearing as a panelist. Naturally, he shells out the cash for an all access pass.

Notes: This was so adorable that I nearly screamed in the corridor outside my computer science lesson. Plus, the writing was absolutely gorgeous! I miss conventions :(

La Vie A Plus by K_K_TiBal on AO3. (6,260 words)

Tags: Punk Castiel, Asexual Castiel, College/Uni AU, Roommates, oh my god they were roommates, College Student Dean, College Student Castiel, Pining, First Kiss, Misunderstandings, Art Student Castiel, Love Confessions, Gabriel is a Little Shit, Tattooed Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester is hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with his best friend and roommate, Castiel. Castiel - with his blue hair, and his tattoos, and his artwork, and his perfect everything. Dean never stood a chance, really. It only sucks because, as far as Dean can tell, Castiel is definitely not interested. But love, much like art, has a way of being unpredictable. Even if you think you know where you’re going with it.

Notes: The angst is strong in this one! Again, I feel like many aces have had this conversation or that fear that people (allos, especially) may not want to be with them.

Event Horizon by Winglesss on AO3. (6,442 words).

Tags: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Dean, Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Past Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Texting, Sharing a Bed, Happy Ending, Veteran Dean, Doctor Dean, Writer Castiel, Strangers.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Castiel couldn't have helped his sister. That's why being offered a chance to help somebody else dealing with suicidal thoughts he took it without hesitation. When he gets the first text from someone who needs his help, nothing goes as he expected.

Notes: I don’t know if that kind of suicide prevention scheme exists, but this fic is very sweet.

I Think That’s Mine by palominopup on AO3. (6,804 words).

Tags: Fluff, AU, Reporter!Dean, Writer!Cas.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: A mix up at the Atlanta Airport places Dean Winchester's laptop in someone else's possession. A series of calls and texts bring two men together.

Notes: This was so cute, Cas was so sweet, and Dean was an icon.

Nothing Equals the Splendor by RurouniHime on AO3. (7,865 words).

Tags: Fix-It, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief, Explicit Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Declarations of Love, Canon Compliant, Minor Injuries.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Maybe it’s the cynic in him. The hunter, always under the surface of any quietude he ever found. Or maybe it’s just that he has always had trouble with blind faith. But after a while (a blink? A decade? A century?), Dean raises his eyebrows, looks around, and says—

“Uh. No.”

It’s so close. Just so slightly imperfect. And maybe, he analyzes, maybe that’s the final knell of this bell called contentment. Dean’s experience with happiness has always been that last rise in the road, right before it turns. Right before fate comes barreling around the corner head on. He turns in his spot on the bridge, and suddenly Sam is like a cellophane film through which he can see the light streaming, and the taste of cheap beer on his tongue is much, much older a memory than it should be.

“Oh, you’re good,” he says, and means it.

Notes: What a great idea, and written so well! I always thought the show could have done so much more with djinns, but never mind.

In the House of the Rising Bun by imissmaeberry on AO3. (9,046 words).

Tags: Bakery and Coffee Shop, Baker Dean, Barista Sam, College Campus, Poet Castiel, Mutual Pining, Daddy Issues, Background Sam/Jess, Past Balthazar/Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester only has three rules concerning the cafe he and his brother Sam own, “House of the Rising Bun”.

1. Any and all opportunities to make a pun will be taken. 2. Free regular coffee with your student ID (If you want some of that fancy nonsense you gotta pay, sorry kids). 3. Anyone and everyone is always welcome.

Between Dean running the shop full-time and Sam helping out whenever he isn’t in class, there really isn’t a whole lot of time for romance for either of them. But that all changes when they gain a new regular - some writer from London - who may or may not have the bluest eyes Dean’s ever seen.

Notes: First of all, the puns were amazing and I am willing to fight people on that. Secondly, that was so sweet and funny I am afraid I might have to disappear under mysterious circumstances and open my own cafe…

I hope you enjoy these! I haven’t read any new fics for this list and even then there were way too many to put on one list, so expect a sequel at some point in the future!

[dr-who-said-lgbtq-rights]

i, a fan of superwholock, dissect and give my opinion on the individual shows

idk i thought this would be fun and i currently have 4-5 hours to kill soooo

let’s start with

doctor who

(only new who. i have not seen the older stuff :( )

k. so. i have been a fan of this since i was pretty young. honestly i think i was a little too young to be watching it when my mom first showed me it but that’s beside the point. basically: i really like dr who

this is probably the best show out of superwholock, both in my opinion and in general. however... i am going to be nitpicky bc why not

1. the canon. 

(yes the example is abt a dr who episode)

in short, the canon is comprised of a) retcons and b) contradictions. im not an avid follower of canon with any media but good god nobody can keep up with dr who canon

(i am blaming moffat bc i hate him and i think a lot of it is his fault anyway)

2. representation

honestly, the representation isn’t bad. however, i would describe it less as “good” and more as “a good starting point.”

for example, there is quite a bit of queer rep, POC rep, and a lot of characters are women. however, while this is nice, the show could still use a lot more rep, and the rep it has currently should probably be improved upon (for example: jack harkness is NOT straight, but he falls under the “multi-spec person wants to screw everyone” stereotype (i have not seen torchwood so this may be amended in that i just needed an example off the top of my head)).

3. story

some people yearn for romance. i yearn for the days when the doc would take their companion to some party, flirt with a tree, the companion almost dies while britney spears is playing in the background, etc. etc.

basically, the story starts out nice. just a bunch of goofing off, maybe a “big deal” thing here and there. life was fun.

then, the story changes. (this happened specifically from eleven onward, so yeah you can bet your ass im blaming moffat ‘cuz it’s his fault) things gradually became less fun. conspiracies ran amok; just when you thought it was over, turns out there’s an even bigger part of this plan that what you just defeated. the doc actually started caring about the timeline (what happened to time being wibbly wobbly?) sure, there are still fun episodes where the doc and the companion(s) go out for funsies but it’s just not the same as it was. 

4. morals

morals are good. basically:

you can have a dark past but still have a bright future, and

be kind

bonus 5. cowardice

at least one of the doctors played by one of the male actors should have worn a dress. there were plenty of opportunities but noooooo there’s a gender binary or something (like,,, they’re an alien????? if gender on gallifrey is the same as gender on earth i am going to fly to britain and drop kick some writers)

OVERALL

needs work, but p good and enjoyable.

~~~

now it’s time for 

sherlock

just. um. ohhh boy. basically

but i am going to do my best

1. representation

eugh. representation was baaaad in this. like, i think the only POC in the entire show that had any significance were the Chinese gang members and that is like,,, incredibly poor rep. i think the innkeepers in thob were gay but that’s as far as queer rep goes. there were a few women, i would die for all of them, we need more women. also the “im a high functioning sociopath” line makes me cringe everytime

basically this show had shit representation

2. john

okee he’s a great character right??? the common sense of the operation right??? wrong

he cheated on mary??? and we don’t address it like,,, at all??? it made me so fucking mad. 

(again fuck you moffat and gatiss probably had something to do with it too so im mad at him as well)

3. sherlock

classic “let’s make him a bitch” mistake. needs the stick surgically removed from his ass

4. story

story’s actually not that bad. it’s not like, great or anything but i enjoy it

bonus 5. ending

i just want to address it. i think the ending was p good and yall tjlc-ers are just upset that they didn’t bang or anything. they’re literally living in the same [two-room] flat??? and they’re raising rosie???? TOGETHER???? like what more do you want

anyway sherlock’s ace soooo

OVERALL

eh. needs LOTS of work. i love mrs hudson tho, she’s beautiful

~~~

and finally

supernatural

ohohoh. boooyyyy.

(plz forgive me this is so shitty but i threw it together in like,,, a minute)

1. story

aight so the first five seasons? p good. not much to say there

the other ten? the skill level of the writing went wayyyyyy down but i still enjoyed it

2. representation

this show is notorious for bad rep and for good reason. kevin, our beloved prophet and the only recurring asian-american character? dead. charlie, so nerdy and fun and also a lesbian? dead. castiel, the angel who was totally gay? dead. basically: if you find yourself in spn and you are not a straight white man, etc etc, you are going to a) die or b) die but in a worse way

3. mythology/treatment of religions

okay so. a while back i had a wicca/witchcraft hyperfixation which was closely followed by a general pagan religions hyperfixation, so i know some stuff here and there abt religions.

and good golly does this show make me MAD

why is christianity the central and most powerful religion? (i know why, it’s a rhetorical question) why do you demonize the other religions?? (again it’s rhetorical)

one thing that really annoys me is when they say something is a “pagan god.” like,,, do you know how many gods that contains??? if you didn’t know, a religion is considered pagan if it isn’t under the abrahamic religions umbrella. what are the abrahamic religions, you ask? well, they are christianity, judaism, and islam. literally every other religion ever is a pagan religion. so, when they say “it’s a pagan god,” i cry.

back to demonizing... they literally made a greek muse eat someone. my greek mythology phase ended a long time ago and i didn’t really get into the muses but i am p sure they didn’t eat people. also the fact that it makes hoodoo look dark and stuff when it’s actually more abt peace and healing... i bet ten dollars it’s because hoodoo was created by enslaved african americans

there are so many examples of this show disrespecting religions... i just can’t

4. general notes

(for you himym fans: *saluting* general notes) (sorry i couldn’t resist)

-the filler episodes/episodes where random shit happened were the best

-the finale memes are *chef’s kiss*

-god there’s so much abt this show that i can’t even choose bc my brain is overloading

-am i glad amara wasn’t ganked at the end of s11? yes. am i happy about the dean/amara kiss? gods no

-john winchester 🤝 steven moffat: getting a spot on my “fuck you” list

OVERALL

there is just. so much improvement needed. however if there is an absolute shit show with likeable characters i tend to gravitate to it

~~~

and for funsies let’s talk abt superwholock as a whole

-honestly im a sucker for crossover fandoms. if you scroll far enough on my blog you may find my rotbtd fanart. 

-it’s honestly just a fun idea

-there’s a lot of ways you could make it happen and all of them are fun

-great opportunities for rarepairs so rare no crackshipper has thought of it

~~~

aight that’s it. thank you for reading! if you have any questions abt my opinions abt other aspects of the shows just ask, i like talking abt this

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Hello! I just want to talk about some ace things here, because I don't really have anyone who I trust like I trust you and your page... I'do be glad if you (and maybe your followers too) said some words of support. 💜 It's been many years since I suspect myself as ace-aspec. I passed by kind of many things while doing that, confidence, pauses in my self-discovery, insecurity, fear... fear still is something that I feel, in many ways. · 1/4 ⛅

I have fear of being wrong about myself, even if I am already kind of "accustomed" with the idea of maybe being ace. "What if I'm wrong? What if I'm just like everyone else [I suspect myself as gray-ace to strict ace; I can identify just as asexual even if I'm in the gray area?]? How can I have sure about it? [I would be really glad if you give me some tips about it if you could...]". · 2/4 ⛅

I also have fear of coming out, for my friends and for my family too (what if they think this isn't a real thing? Even I am insecure about it sometimes, and I feel ashamed about it, sorry, it's just really difficult seeing so much aphobia on internet and etc)... and specially for my family... I don't have to be out, right? I feel that I have to, I kind of want to, but at the sampe time I don't want to be explicitly out. I also have fear of coming out in therapy. · 3/4 ⛅

If I'm really ace, I want to express my "acenness", through social media, personally, but... in theory is ok, I want to, but practice is always more difficult. Deal with people is difficult. Sorry for so many things in one question, really, I keep too many things inside and, as I said, don't have many people that I really trust when the topic is asexuality. Even now, thank you. 💜 · 4/4 ⛅

For worrying that you’re wrong about being ace, first of all know it’s a common feeling. Defining an absence is hard because it’s hard to really know. I actually have a comic for you on this, it’s an analogy between having a turtle pond and being asexual that a lot of ace people find helpful. But it can be very hard to know for sure, and that’s OK. It’s OK to not be 100%, you can still keep using the label. And chances are you are using the right label for you, but even on the off-chance you do realise that another label works better for you, that’s OK too. And you haven’t done anything wrong. But don’t be afraid of the label over some doubts. Especially if it’s one you like that you feel works well for you.

For being gray-ace and identifying as asexual, that is absolutely fine. Asexual has two meanings, and one is that it’s synonymous with ace-spec. And anyone who ace-spectrum can also identify as just asexual if they want. And gray-ace people sometimes feel like asexual just describes them better, or describes more how they want to be described to other people, even if they’re technically gray-ace and that’s absolutely fine too.

You don’t have to tell your family ever if you don’t want to. You don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to. We come out for ourselves if we want to, We don’t actually owe it to anybody. And we especially aren’t obligated to come out to people we don’t trust or aren’t sure how they’ll react. 

Basically your identity is yours and you get to choose who you want to share it with and how much. If you want to you can also come out to some people or just one person. So if you know someone who is particularly open minded and accepting you can tell them and only them. Or if meet someone who is also ace you can tell them. Or you can join a community or chat for aces and only be out to them. But yeah it’s all your choice and what feels comfortable for you and what you feel ready for. 

Same goes for friends, you only have to tell them if you want to. And it doesn’t make you a bad friend if you don’t to or if you don’t want to know because you don’t feel ready yet. You get to choose who you share this with. 

You can also come out at any time. It’s OK if you don’t feel ready now but want to come out in the future. There’s no timeline on these things and you can choose to come out whenever you want. 

Coming out in therapy is tricky because asexuality is still pathologized in medical communities. Technically your therapist isn’t supposed to if you actively identify as asexual, but in practice it doesn’t necessarily work that way. I would only recommend coming out if you’re in a position to be able to change therapists if you have to. But also if you don’t feel like you need to talk to them about your asexuality, and being ace isn’t related to why you’re seeing them, it’s fine to not bother.

Same for being out online, you can totally do that. But it’s OK if you’re not ready for it yet. Maybe it might be easier to start with just joining ace groups where you can lurk or participate without a lot of risk. But that’s up to you.

All the best, and take care!

[callonpeevesie]

In this essay I will analyse and hopefully debunk some popular arguments exclusionists use to claim that aspecs are not part of the LGBTQ+ community. Because I want to. (And because I need to clarify my stance regarding it to myself as well as to others.)

1. 'Aces are not oppressed.' This is probably the argument I have seen most.

According to this logic, the community is for the winners of the Oppression Olympics, right? So how about, say, gay, bi or trans people who have supportive parents or communities? Are they not part of the community then? Also, what about aspecs who are erased and ignored and made to feel broken? Yes, aphobia exists, don't even try to deny it. How oppressed is oppressed enough to be LGBTQ+?

I've seen an argument that since aspec are 'not oppressed', including them in the LGBTQ+ community is harmful to people who are 'actually oppressed'. I'm sorry, but I don't see how that works. First of all, 'oppressed' and 'not oppressed' are not completely black and white concepts, like I said above. Second of all, it's not like aspecs are denying the fact that others are oppressed, or taking away attention from them. The community is very diverse and includes people with varied experiences. Everyone is supposed to celebrate their identities and protest against oppressive societal norms, and everyone can coexist in that. In fact, everyone is supposed to be together in that, not against each other.

According to Wikipedia:

LGBT activists and sociologists see LGBT community-building as a counterbalance to heterosexism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, sexualism, and conformist pressures that exist in the larger society.

Heteronormativity is harmful to everyone who is not heterosexual, including asexuals. And I'm pretty sure amatonormativity counts as conformist.

2. 'It's LGBT, so it's just for lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders.'

It's true that the movement was exclusively focused on lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders in the beginning, hence the original initialism. But since then many other sexual, romantic and gender identities have received light (like pansexual, intersex, asexual, genderqueer etc). And hence many variants of the term are now used, like, LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning and other spectrums), LGBTQIA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual), LGBTTQQIAAP (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual, ally, pansexual) etc.

I believe all of these terms have been criticised in some way or other. But many spectrums of identities are recognised now, so no, it's not exclusively lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders. There is probably no one initialsm everyone agrees on, and there is no clear-cut rule as to who is LGBTQ+ and who is not.

In short, if you say the community is literally exclusively for lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders, you are not only excluding aspecs, but also all m-specs and all non-binary gender identities, which is kind of a big deal.

3. 'Asexuality is not a real sexuality.'

In my opinion, the lack of attraction is as important as attraction itself. But whether asexuality is a sexual orientation or not is debatable, so I'm not going into that. I'll just say this: there is currently no universally accepted answer to that question, and 'asexuality is not a sexuality' is an opinion, not an objective statement.

Another thing: some people say aces, aros, greys and demis don't exist or are not real identities or something, which is so untrue, offensive and ridiculous that I won't waste my energy arguing against it.

The LGBTQ+ community is not just for sexualities either. There are gender identities too. The community has included at least transgenders for ages, so 'for sexualities' is not and never was the definition of LGBTQ+.

4. 'Aspecs are LGBTQ+ if they are not hetero.'

You mean non-het aspecs will be welcome in the community as long as long as they join you in excluding het aspecs? Sorry, not happening. Besides, saying aspecs are LGBTQ+ if they are not hetero is just another way of just saying that aspecs are not LGBTQ+ in themselves, i.e. excluding aspecs without any proper reasoning.

5. Other arguments

Recently I saw a reply in a post that said something like 'aspecs can be hetero so they are not LGBTQ+.' What does that even mean? 'Can be hetero'? That's like saying bisexuals can be attracted to the opposite gender so they are not LGBTQ+ (and some people legit say that too). Or like saying genderfluid people can be male or female so they are not LGBTQ+.

Another reasoning I remember seeing is that aspecs are capable of hiding their identities, so they don't need pride. That's kind of the point, why should we have to hide our identities in the first place? If we have to hide our identity to be accepted, that means society does not accept us, and that doesn't comply with the 'aces are not oppressed' logic. So maybe rethink your reasonings a bit, exclusionists?

Phew. That's about all I can think of right now. I can't believe I bothered to write all this, but I did. In conclusion, the LGBTQ+ community is very diverse and supposedly accepting with many communities within itself, and you don't get to dictate who is LGBTQ+ and who is not. I'm not sure if anyone is even going to read this, but if they do, just to be clear, I'm not going to argue with anyone. K bye.

[acesapphic]

I love your blog!! I’ve been following it forever it feels like and its such a nice place to go to when I’m feeling overwhelmed by hatred from ace discourse/people being mean to sapphics. I just wanna ask, how do you cope with being demi and bi? And if you know of how to deal with being ace/sapphic in any other ways that’d be helpful too bc I’m ace and sapphic but it’s so hard to feel like I’m *really* into girls bc I feel like a phony bc I don’t want sex?? Like I love women but don’t want sex

I'm sorry my dumb inbox never shows me asks! I'm so glad my blog is a safe place for you, that's what I created it for. 💜

I'm not sure what you mean by "coping", so I'll just ramble. For me, being demi and bi is something I go back and forth on, and has been a journey over the last few years. I didn't know I was demi until I got together with my partner, and even exploration with him was a long process. Thankfully, he's also a-spec and was more than understanding about me. Honestly, I don't know if I would have been able to approach any kind of physical relationship without a partner like that. So discovering I resonated with the demisexual label after a while was a surprise. Having feelings and desires I'd never had before was honestly a little frightening, and still takes getting used to. But on the other hand, these feelings extend to noone else and the general idea of sex in media or conversation still has a foreign feel to me. And so I took the demisexual label.

As for being bi, I accepted that earlier, before I got together with my partner. However, it also is an ongoing journey and I've had to face some internalized homophobia over the years. My partner even points it out sometimes, such as when I made a joke about 'dont worry, I'm not gay' and he said, startled, 'yes you are??' so, yeah, that's a whole knot that might take a while. But I'm so much better than I used to be, thanks to my supportive partner, online community, and lots of self reflection.

I know exactly what you're talking about, Anon! I also felt this way. Despite having what I now recognize as crushes on SO many female friends, I always brushed this off because of my lack of sexual desire towards them. Until I had a revelation that it didn't actually mean anything. I didn't want to sleep with men either, so why was it such a big deal not to want to sleep with the beautiful girl I liked? The idea of the split attraction model also helped me, though I know it's not useful for everyone. To be able to say " I want to date/hug/ be close to/ love them" without having that imply "and kiss/have sex with them" was incredibly liberating for me. Because before that, I believed those were all one big bundle, when really they are separate things you are ALLOWED to have separate feelings about.

Following blogs and reading media about ace experiences, and sapphic experiences, was also very helpful to me. I believe that I needed to normalize what I was feeling. Reading love stories between women helped me recognize I was not gross or bad for liking them. I read stories from other aces and started to believe I was not some freak or broken, but rather simply a person with different experiences who was not at all alone in feeling that way.

As for feeling like you're " a phony and not really into girls unless you want sex with them", I'd like you to reflect on what that statement implies. Do you believe that sex is the defining characteristic of what makes a relationship work, as I once did? It's not true, dear. Liking a girl means you like a girl! So, what does liking a girl mean to YOU? Do you want to take her on a date? Hold hands? Dance? Kiss? Tell secrets? Spend lots of time together? Something else? You're not a phony, Anon, but perfectly valid, whatever your answers are.

One of the best things my partner ever told me was basically "There aren't any rules. We will define what our relationship is, and what we do in it." I encourage you to claim this idea too. You can find someone who likes you, and build a relationship you both like with them.

I'm always here to talk to, even if my inbox is dumb. I'll also freely answer dms too. 💜

[xxprettyboyfrontmanxx]

The Umbrella Academy as things I've seen or heard this exam season.

Luther: *just a snapchat of him coming out of the sports centre, getting into the back of Allison's car (where Bring Me To Life by Evanescence is playing ) screaming the whole time. Stops when in Allison's car, 'are you okay Lu?'starts screaming again*

Diego: *in reply to 'who cares about how well we do in these exams?'* My mum, and therefore, by extension, me. *all his friends laugh* Yeah, keep laughing, but you won't have to see her face as she starts to think she's failed as a mother and the 'it's okay, these tests don't matter in the long run'. It's sad, dude, I don't like it!

Allison: I love our English Lit spec, whatever the question is, you can always spin it one way to be like 'fuck men, they're evil, especially Leonard, he's a wanker...sorry, did I say Leonard? I meant Torvald - silly me!' *Insert Vanya's face looking like she's had to deal with the subtle hints to drop her boyfriend*

Klaus: *not getting any last minute revision done, playing a full blown game of poker outside the exam room one a Soviet flag with actual money being gambled, whole exam class is gathered around watching tense game, the one bit of vaguely relative to the exam is:* You know the peak of perfection is symmetry, did Dr Frankenstien have to examine testicles to get the two of them exactly the same? No man has two perfect balls, there's always one runt -- trust me, I've sucked a few in my lifetime. *and even that was to throw everyone else off during the game*

Five: I don't need a calculator, I have the grid method!

Ben: *Snapchat of a table in the exam waiting room, having just come out. Song lyrics: "and all the while we'll know we're fucked and not getting unfucked soon" from Bear by The Antlers in the caption. At face value? Not much to do with the exam. Apart from the fact it's obviously about how badly he did in the exam. Has never sworn a day in his life, so it came as a surprise.*

Vanya: *Makes a Tik Tok of her in the school bathroom to Michael In The Bathroom - specifically the bit 'I wish I'd stayed at home in bed' to 'wish I was never born'*

Cha Cha: *aces exams and doesn't even care*

Hazel: *that one kid that hears one of the exam rules eg something about taking food into the exam but is too pussy to try it out.

[queerchristianaffirmations]

I have been questioning my sexuality basically for few years now because I'm greysexual (lesbian) and very rarely feel actual attraction. Like I know I wanna be with women but I very rarely get that butterfly-feeling. This makes me afraid that I'm faking it. It hasn't happened in a while and I'm afraid God has "changed" me but I just don't accept it. I love being a lesbian and I wanna be a lesbian. The label feels like home but I'm just afraid. For the first time ever I live in a city where (1)

I could actually go to pride. I have never been able to go and I wanted to go so so badly. I've been planning for months that I'm gonna go and now... I have work that day. I asked if I could take that day off but I guess it wasn't ok. I'm angry and sad and I feel terrible. I was so excited. And now I'm also afraid. I fear that this is God telling me that I shouldn't have lesbian pride. That I'm wrong. That this is a sign that I'm actually just a straight girl refusing to let go of this phase (2)

alright step one stop considering that things might be signs. that’s some grade a bullshit we were all ingrained with and it is deeply unhealthy. like, saying this as someone who deals with religious anxiety and ocd tendencies, nip that shit in the bud because it’s not safe as a mindset. 

step two- you’re not faking. i know this is tough, so considerably tough that the majority of sapphic women struggle with it, but you gotta learn to trust yourself. tip: women who are faking it don’t wonder if they are. if you’re worried that u might not be a lesbian despite knowing that u love and wanna be with women and feeling at home in the identity of lesbian, it’s internalized homophobia, buddy. i’m sorry you couldn’t go to pride. we’ll be praying that next year you’ll be able to. 

also. . . . tbh very rarely feeling actual attraction shouldn’t discount you from being a lesbian. for one thing, the ace spec does in fact exist, in fact, literally everyone experiences attraction differently, and we don’t all experience it with the same frequency. u don’t need to be 24/7 falling in love with every woman u meet in a subway at 9 am on a tuesday morning to be sapphic, even if we often act as if that’s a common thing.

anyway, i hope that helped u, we’re praying for u anon!! love you!!!!! have a great day!

[thewoildis-yaerster]

Abusus Non Tollit Usum

Chapter One: The First Day

Description: Davey reunites with a familiar face and meets said face's friends.

Warnings: Swearing, deadnaming, pronoun misusage, mentions of homophobia, mentions of transphobia, mentions of racism. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

David gripped a piece of paper in two hands. He could hardly read it from how badly his hands were shaking, but he really didn’t need to read it again; he had already read over it many times since he received it in the mail a few weeks back. He folded the sweat-drenched paper to the best of his ability and shoved it into his pocket as he got out of his large van. It was a hand-me-down, sure, but he loved that thing to death. He fumbled with his keys and locked the doors nearly five times before he was satisfied. He wiped his hands off on his pants, then reached in his pocket for the same piece of paper. He unfolded it and sighed as he stared at the large building ahead. He was a sophomore; why did he need to be put in public school this late in life? Also, why did he have to be put in a good three weeks after the school year had already started? He hesitantly started walking towards the building, repeating all of the information on the paper to himself in a low whisper.

“My guide is Frances Sullivan. My first period is debate. Second is geometry, third is genetics, fourth is government, then lunch, fifth is gothic studies, sixth is Latin I, and seventh is my free period. Frances Sullivan. Debate, geometry, genetics, government, lunch, gothic, Latin, free. Frances, debate, geometry, genetics, government, lunch, gothic, Latin, free. Alright. I think I’ve got it.”

David hung his head down and hunched his shoulders as he power-walked past his fellow students. He pulled one of the large doors open and slipped inside, taking an almost immediate right into the office. The woman working the office desk turned around in her chair to look at him.

“Hi, uh, I’m new.”

“Ah! Well, welcome to Pearst. May I see your schedule?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He handed it to her over the counter. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise and a smile spread across her face as she took the paper from him.

“Polite, huh? We could use more of you around here.” David simply chuckled in response and took the chance to glance around the office. There were multiple rooms, including one for the principal. He hoped he’d never have to go in there. “I presume you’ve already read this. Once the bell has rung, I’ll call Miss Sullivan in here and she can do her duties. Speaking of, she might be able to learn a thing or two from you.” She handed the schedule back to him and gestured for him to sit down in one of the chairs in the front of the office. He had no idea what she meant by that, but he guessed he would find out soon enough. She had commented on how they could use more polite students, so maybe that’s what she meant. What if this Frances was a troublemaker? He didn’t want to get into trouble on his first day of school. What if Frances was a total jerk? What if Frances ditched him at the beginning of the tour and just went on with her own business? What if-

“Sweetheart?” It was the woman.

“Y-Yes, ma’am? I’m sorry. I zoned out.” David replied, wiping his sweaty hands on his pants again.

“It’s alright. I was just telling you that Miss Sullivan is on her way.”

“Ah, okay. Thank you, ma’am.”

“You’re welcome.”

Almost ten seconds later, another entrance to the office flew open and a student slid into the office. David thought the entrance was only for teachers, but it was apparent that this student either didn’t know that or did and chose to ignore it.

“Ms. Hannah! It’s always nice to see you in the morning.”

“How are you, Miss Sullivan?”

“It’s Mister, now, Ms. Hannah. Mister Jack Kelly.”

David’s head shot up so quickly his neck popped.

“Alright, Mister Kelly. Miss Margaret Jacobs is right in there.” The woman, Ms. Hannah, gestured to David. He grimaced when he heard his dead name. Jack looked over at David and his eyes nearly popped out of his skull.

“…Davey?” He walked over to him.

“Jack.” The corners of David’s mouth twitched up into a smile. They stood there and stared at each other until they both went in for a hug at the same time.

“I’ve missed you, Dave.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Jack.”

The two had kept in contact over the summer, but they didn’t see each other again until that moment.

“How’ve you been doing?” Jack pulled away after giving David a tight squeeze.

“Pretty well. Better than the last time we saw each other. How about you?”

“That’s good! People are still dic- mean, but you can’t exactly stop them. All you can do is not let them bother you.”

“Kids, I hate to break up this adorable little reunion, but you two need to get going.” Ms. Hannah said sweetly.

“Right! Okay, so, you’re basically stuck with me all day. I have the entire day off to make sure you know where your classes are and where all you need to go. Let me see your schedule.” David handed his schedule to Jack, who creased his eyebrows and whistled as he read over it. “Molecular Genetics and Genomics? Advanced American Government? Gothic Studies? Latin? Jesus, Davey. You’ve got quite the classes here. Hey, why didn’t you take photography?” Jack led him out of the office and they made their way down the vacant hallway.

“Photography is just something I do for fun. It takes the fun out of it if you’re told what you have to do and when to do it.”

“Fair enough. Alright, let’s roll. I think I know people in just about all of your classes. Debate…Smalls! Smalls is in debate!”

“Smalls?”

“She’s great. You’ll love her. Anywho, Elmer is in geometry. Well, kind of. He might as well be teaching geometry this year. He’s already blasted through all of the math programs this school has, so he gets to help out this year. The teacher teaches the lessons, then he walks around and helps anyone who needs it. He also tutors after school. The kid’s a math whiz. Specs is in genetics. Just look for a kid with glasses.”

“A lot of people wear glasses, Jack.”

“Yeah, I’ll just point him out to you. He doesn’t really like science in general, but damn is he into genetics. Kid Blink is in government.”

“Why’re they called Kid Blink?”

“He only has one eye.”

“O-Oh.”

“Katherine is in Gothic studies. Her nickname is Ace, but we rarely use it. Hot Shot is in Latin. They’re…a handful.”

“Are they bad?”

“No, they’re just…difficult to deal with, I guess. They came over from Brooklyn with Spot Conlon and they’re both just alike, except where Spot has a temper, Hot Shot isn’t very social. They’ll talk to you if they need to, but other than that, I wouldn’t count on it.” They reached the door to the debate classroom and Jack finished his explanation.

“Wait. What about the free period?”

���Well, you seem to have it the same period as me and all of my friends, so I’ll keep that a secret until the time comes,” Jack smirked and winked, then opened the classroom door.

***

“So, are you enjoying your classes so far, Dave?” Jack questioned as they walked to whatever he had planned for their free period.

“The classes, yeah. The people in them, not so much. I’m just used to a quieter setting. I’m sure I’ll get used to it. Your friends are pretty cool, though.” David had thoroughly enjoyed the heated debate he witnessed between Smalls and another student over whether video games are bad for children or not. He quickly found out that geometry was much easier with Elmer showing him how to do it since the way the teacher taught them was a huge backward-ass way that even Elmer admittedly hardly understood. Funnily enough, Specs was literally the only person in genetics that wore glasses, so David had no trouble figuring out who he was. Kid Blink was an entire mess and a half. He knew his facts, but he was the class clown. David had to hold back laughter every time the teacher called on him because she thought he wasn’t paying attention and he gave her the answer, plus some. Lunch was quiet and peaceful since he decided to stay in the library and just talk to Jack. David had taken a liking to Katherine the minute she whacked someone in the back of the head with her copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray because they wouldn’t shut up and let the teacher talk. Of course, the Latin teacher had instructed Hot Shot to help David get caught up. Jack was right. Hot Shot wasn’t rude whatsoever, but they only talked to David when they had to.

“Good! Okay, so here’s the plan for our free period. You can quite literally do anything. Hell, some people even go home. However, we have a little club we run. We make the school newspaper. The school has a website, but it’s never updated, so we’ve become the main source for school news. I want you to come in, hang with us, and see if you like it. If you don’t, I won’t pressure you. Sound good?”

When they stopped in front of the door to the basement, Jack rummaged around in his backpack as he spoke and finally pulled out a newsboy cap. He adjusted it on his head and pushed open the door.

“Yeah, sounds good. Is…Is it in the basement?” David coughed a little from the amount of dust around them.

“Nah, but three of our members are. Their sixth period is garage band, and there aren’t any bells down here. Their teacher might as well be another student. She gets too into it and forgets to watch the time, but no one snitches. I’m always the one to come down here and tell everyone that it’s time to switch classes. I honestly don’t know what they do on the days I’m out.” Jack chuckled, seemingly not bothered by the dust.

“Ah,” David responded.

They made their way to the end of the corridor and Jack forced the heavy door open. The large room honestly looked like a concert venue. There were no chairs, so students either sat on the floor or stood close to the stage that took up half the room. Empty soda cans littered the floor, and various instruments were either hung up on the wall or propped up against it. Four students were onstage performing “Bad Reputation” by Joan Jett. The girl singing was dressed head to toe in black, except for her light pink leather jacket. Her guitar matched the jacket, as well as her microphone. The person next to her was dressed in a white hoodie, ripped black jeans, red converse, and a snapback they wore backward. They were also playing a guitar. The person on her other side was dressed in a white dress shirt, a black miniskirt, fishnet stockings, black combat boots, and they had purple hair that was styled in an undercut. They played a mean tambourine. The person playing the drums was wearing heavy black eyeliner, very worn out and ripped up blue jeans, black converse, and they were shirtless. They also had a tattoo on their chest of the symbol of St. Jimmy from American Idiot.

When the girl noticed Jack, she stopped playing, and her band followed suit. “Time to leave?” She questioned.

Jack nodded in response. Almost everyone groaned or sighed and went to grab their things. They all trudged out of the classroom, but the singer, guitarist, and drummer stayed with Jack and David, while the others left.

“Ooo, Jackaboy, who’s the cutie? He your boyfriend?” The drummer teased with a smirk.

“This is Davey. We met over the summer, but now he goes to school here. And, no, he is not my boyfriend.” Jack slung an arm around David’s shoulders.

“Damn. And here I thought you finally had some dick in your life.”

“Hey, not everyone sucks dick in their free time like you do, Racetrack.” The girl poked the drummer, Racetrack, in the ribs with her elbow.

“I do not suck dick in my free time.” Racetrack replied, thumping the girl on the forehead.

“Duh, Sniper. Sucking dick is why he doesn’t have free time.” The guitarist laughed and threw a shirt at Racetrack.

“Alright, alright. Calm down, you three. Like I said, this is Davey. David Jacobs, technically, but I call him Davey. Davey, this is Albert, Racetrack, and Sniper.” Jack pointed to each of them as he said their names.

Racetrack put on the shirt Albert gave him, then crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, Davey, welcome to the most homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc. school in the entirety of Manhattan. If no one’s told you yet, it isn’t very safe here for people…like us. And, if you’re one of us, buckle the fuck up. These are going to be an interesting two years.”

“Jesus, Race,” Sniper whispered.

“What? Might as well tell him now instead of throwing him to the dogs and letting him see for himself.”

“Race, you can traumatize Jack’s boyfriend on the way to the room. If Jack doesn’t show, Spot will decide to take over, and no one likes when that happens.” Albert started to walk down the corridor to the stairs.

“I like when that happens.” Race followed Albert, and the other three came with.

“That’s because you’re dating him.” Sniper reached over and thumped Race’s forehead like he did to her earlier.

“You’ve got me there.”

***

“You ready, Davey?” Jack questioned, his hand on the handle of the door to the club room.

“I, uh…yeah.” David nodded.

Jack threw open the door and let the other four in the room first, then he closed the door back. The entire room smelled like ink and paper, one of David’s favorite smells. He could get used to that after a long day of "hell" (school).

“Finally. I was just about to take over.” A small boy with very very large arms huffed from his computer chair. David took a quick sweep of the room and noted that there had to have been twenty students in there, if not more.

“Blame your boyfriend, Spot. He decided to give Davey here the ‘welcome to Hell’ talk.” Jack threw up his hands and wiggled his fingers dramatically.

Sniper and Albert went to their respective seats, while Race walked over to Spot and sat in his lap. Before anything else could be said, Jack clapped his hands together and started up the club meeting.

“Alright, so, first order of business: new kid. This is my pal, Davey. He just came here today and he’s here to figure out if he wants to join us or not. Please, no one scare him away. I know he already knows some of you, but let’s go around and introduce ourselves. Crutch, you can start us off.”

“Hi, I’m Crutchie! He/him.”

“You know me. Racetrack Higgins. He/him.”

“You also know me. Albert DaSilva. He/him or they/them.”

“I’m Romeo. He/him.”

“Henry. He/him.”

“Specs. He/him.”

“Elmer. He/him right now.”

“JoJo. He/him.”

“Katherine. She/her.”

“Finch. They/them.”

“Mush. Also they/them.”

“Kid Blink. He/him.”

“Tommy Boy. He/him.”

“Buttons. She/her at the moment.”

“Spot. He/him.”

“Sniper. She/her.”

“Mike. He/him.”

“Ike. They/them.”

“Smalls. She/her.”

“Hot Shot. They/ them.”

After they all introduced themselves, they all looked at David expectantly.

“Oh, uh, David. He/him.” He gave an awkward wave to everyone, then turned to Jack, who was then leaning backward in a computer chair, which is something you should never do.

“Next step. We have this little tradition, of sorts, when there’s a new member. You don’t have to do it, but the new person just shares their story with the rest of the group. A form of bonding or whatever.”

“I-I, uh…sure. Why not?”

[intersex-ionality]

@queenofthecommunistcannibals reblogged your post and added:

Again, I agree with you almost entirely. And I get a personal disdain for everybody just doing the rainbow but different.  And I know the ace and labrys flag are totally different BUT Terfs will not let it be that way.

Believe me.

They love finding reasons to blame aces. And then all their little Kool Aid drinkers will come into MY BLOG and tell me how aces stole purple and thus hate lesbians and should all die.  Like no joke. This is the shit we deal with.  Like no one would mistake them for the same flag, but their are Terfs and their little Mouseketers who will not share THE MOON or the goddess Artemis with aces. Literally the whole ass moon and a virgin goddess.  Remember the soap discourse?  When a young queer soap maker put Artemis on the aspec soap?  And Terfs and lesbian exclusionists attacked the shit out of them?  I don’t think you are considering the lengths they will go to attack us. For anything.

And I do understand how people might not be all in when not everyone is Reclaiming the flag.  I can see why a trans lesbian might not be eager to stand below a flag still used by Terfs who want her dead.

I don’t want Terfs to have anything. But I also understand people having a knee jerk response to that flag.

It is a great flag but if it were The Lesbian Flag I firmly believe it would lead to more trouble.

So, first off, sorry for moving us to a new thread. That post is very long and has quite a few images at this point.

I try not to bring up my own identities in these kinds of discussions. I feel that it weakens my points, and if I can’t make them without needing to lean on my own identity as “proof” then I need to do better, rhetorically. That said, I’m aromantic. I run a few a-spec support blogs on the side. I know the shape and bredth of ace discourse on this website, and I have seen it evolve since its start in late 2011 to now, as a manifestation of radical feminist ideology.

So, for that reason, I feel more or less confident--albeit only speculatively--that fighting radical feminist indoctrination of lesbians by denying TERFs the right to keep stealing queer iconography would help disempower them from spreading their shit-tier ideology elsewhere.

All of their politics reinforce each other.

I have a horse in that race. And I still stand by my conclusions. And you are right to stand by yours as well. Your logic is sound. Your conclusion makes perfect sense. We both have the same set of premises, and we’ve both decided to prioritize different things.

That’s fine. It’s not like queer folx are a hive mind!

And really, in the end?

I don’t care if people ultimately settle on the 4 stripe sapphic flag, or on the labrys, or on anything at all. Well, I mean, my flag design enthusiast soul cares, but my queer activist brain is not fussed with the specifics, ultimately, of which flags gets the gold.

What I care about is recognizing that this entire fight over flags is a ploy to weaken solidarity between lesbians and the rest of the queer coalition, and radicalize lesbians into a reactionary, regressive force that can be used to attack anyone who is not part of that force. The obvious target is trans women, but asexual people too, bi people too, hell, lesbians that don’t adequately perform to separatist and sexual purity ideals even!

At this point, I think I let myself get too caught up in the old Special Interest Autism Brain Cookies, and lost track of my ultimate point as an activist.

It’s not about which flag wins.

It’s about making sure TERFs fucking lose.

[aroworlds]

Aroace here. A place I’m on has an ace community but the aro community there is pretty much nonexistent so I stay on the ace side. It’s really frustrating to be there at times because so many alloro aces are completely clueless about aros, and I’m constantly having to correct people. Like people are always getting squish and qp wrong and making it into an ace thing. Someone said qp meant a relationship without sex. Someone said that the reason there are so many aroaces is because aces- 1/2

-default to aromantic because apparently it’s easier than dating as an ace and of course the Ace doesn’t mean aromantic! We still can feel love like any human! I see it so often I don’t even say anything anymore. It still hurts. It doesn’t feel right to go around correcting everyone because it’s rare that anyone is an actual arophobe they’re just uninformed. I think the big problem is just ignorance. (And a part of it is an unwillingness to in any way be associated with aros)     

At this point in time, anon, I believe that anyone who says “we can still love” deserves a lifetime of stepping barefoot on Lego bricks. It’s aromisia and amatonormativity from alloromantics; it’s ableism from other aro-spec folks. I would love everyone to take that phrase, toss it into the fire and move on to actual, substantial conversations on how to respect and support other human beings. It doesn’t matter whether someone loves, because no human being deserves to endure aromisia/acemisia.

“We can still love”, be it referring to romantic or non-romantic love, carries one hell of an implication that in the (actual or perceived) absence of love, the behaviours of aromisia/acemisia are acceptable. That people need to proclaim their ability to love just to be respected and safe. No, no, no. Let us please consign this phrase to the bonfire and talk instead about how aromisia/acemisia are never acceptable, irrespective of the target’s ability to love.

Seriously, let me say this one again in header type:

It doesn’t matter whether someone loves, because no human being deserves to endure aromisia/acemisia.

(Sorry, anon. My hate for this phrase is immense. I can never just let it be.)

I’m really sorry that you’re having to deal with the awfulness you’ve described, anon. I hope you know that it is absolutely okay to conserve your energy, and you are not required to constantly play activist, especially when you know that your words are going to be ignored. I look talkative here, but my offline world is one where I’m ignored outright at best and activism is often quite dangerous for me. You are not doing aro-specs harm by saving your words for when you know they’ll be heard. You are not doing aro-specs harm by looking after yourself first and foremost. Not saying anything doesn’t feel right or good, I know, but that’s not a situation made by us, and it’s extremely unfair that we are the ones having to expend time and energy and spoons in response to a problem not of our making–often just to go dismissed and ignored.

It’s rather perfect that you discuss and describe the problem as ignorance, because I was thinking yesterday that it’d be a really good thing if multi-moderator ace-spec community blogs made a point of bringing on aro-ace mods who are connected with the aro-spec community. It would be the easiest to way to combat aro erasure, aromisia and amatonormativity, as well as a way of showing good faith to the aro-spec community in terms of making change. Most importantly, it’ll give aro-aces a much-needed and authoritative platform to speak on the subject of being aro-ace in ace-spec spaces.

I know there’s a heap of aro-aces who are engaged in aro-spec community discussions in varying ways. There’s a heap of aro-aces who are informed, passionate and willing to put in the effort to build a more inclusive ace-spec and a-spec community. There’s a heap of aro-aces already speaking with eloquence about aro-spec erasure. There’s a heap of aro-aces who see the challenges facing allo-aros, will listen to allo-aros talking about their experiences of erasure and then signal-boost their conversations on aro erasure in ace-spec spaces.

If the problem is trying to speak over the divide between aro-spec and ace-spec community spaces, aro-aces who are engaged with the aro-spec community while moderating ace-spec community spaces will bridge that divide.

I keep coming back to this idea that ace-spec community blogs don’t realise that having an aro-ace mod isn’t enough to combat aro erasure and amatonormativity if that mod isn’t equally engaged with the aro-spec community as the ace-spec one. Having an aro-ace mod isn’t enough if that mod considers “aro” an afterthought and “ace” the primary identity or if that mod doesn’t follow common aro-spec conversations. I’ve seen plenty of aro-aces engage in, promote or support acts of aro erasure, and how can they not, when they are not connected to the aro-spec community? How can they change if there is nobody in ace-spec spaces to teach them?

I keep coming back to this idea that in ace-spec community spaces, the people who are most heard on the subject of aromanticism are aro-aces not connected to the aro-spec community, because aro-aces who are engaged in the aro-spec community are pushed away from ace-spec spaces.

If you’re a multi-moderator ace-spec community blog, and you see this post–please, put out a call for an aro-ace mod connected with the aro-spec community. It won’t be comfortable to have this mod correct and challenge you, but if you care about building better ace-spec and a-spec spaces, it is necessary. This is also the easiest way to begin to regain the trust of alienated aro-aces, and if the conversations here mean anything, this is something ace-spec spaces must prioritise.

There’s only so much we aro-specs can do on this side. We can explain and educate. We can emphasise with and validate our own. But we need someone from the other side to offer a hand, and a real, tangible way of doing this is for ace-spec blogs to bring in aro-ace mods from the aro-spec community.

If we want a solution to the problems this anon (and many other aro-aces) describes, here’s a step ace-spec community blogs can and should take.