#so she just closed herself off from trying out motherhood a second time

[artssslut2]

Tashi and Art as Parents: Head cons (pt.1)

- Tashi and Art got married pretty young almost as soon as Art went pro after graduation.

- Tashi mild of felt lost. She was coaching Art and she loved him but felt like it wasn’t enough of a purpose for her.

- So she decided they should have a baby. Maybe motherhood could be her new focus other than coaching.

- She knew Art would say yes. He had been talking about having a baby since they had been engaged. He definitely has a breeding kink too.

- Since they were both in really good shape and so young, Tashi got pregnant on the first try basically. Art was so happy, it almost made Tashi nervous that he would focus on the baby more than tennis.

- Tashi was excited and read almost every baby/pregnancy book that she could find. She dedicated herself to being a perfect mother. She worked out ate right took vitamins. Her first and second trimester were fairly easy. Although she felt weird, she felt like she shouldn’t be a mother. Sometimes she would talk to Art about it but she wasn’t good at sharing her feelings.

- Tashi knew Art would be an amazing father, with all his free time which was not much he set up the nursery (with Tashi telling him exactly what to do) went to parenting classes with Tashi and read books as well. He was naturally a caregiver, Tashi was not.

- Throughout her pregnancy she coached Art and travelled with him. Towards the end Art practically begged her not too. He wanted her to stay home a relax but she refused.

- Tashi’s third trimester was a lot harder than the first two. She had been small her whole life up until this point. Now she felt enormous, she became quite clumsy due to her rapid change in size. Art thought it was adorable, but Tashi didn’t. She would always run into things or bump stuff off the counter with her belly.

- Tashi never complained about anything. Especially pain, she didn’t want to seem vulnerable. But all the sudden she had pain everywhere, in her back, her legs, her ankles, her hips. Art could tell she was in pain. It was hard for him to navigate the changes she was going through and how to support her when she was so closed off.

- Art would show his love through acts of service because that is what she liked the best. When he knew she was struggling he would make dinner, run her a bath, or clean the house. He would rub her feet, she didn’t ask him to he just would and she never refused it.

- “Just relax, I got it all. You don’t have to worry about anything” he would say to her when he knew she was stressed. Even though she never admitted it Art could calm her down almost all the time. She really loved him, he was her safe space.

- When Tashi was almost 39 weeks pregnant Art had a challenger. It was about an hour away from where they lived. Tashi had planned to go, but Art put his foot down for the first time during her pregnancy. She had been up all night, the baby had been kicking her ribs, she was having Braxton hicks contractions and she could give birth at any minute. There was no way Art would let her go.

- When Tashi went into labor she was as cool as a cucumber. Art on the other hand was a wreck. Tashi was the one calming him down. However Tashi started getting nervous when they arrived at the hospital. Tashi was in the bed in a hospital gown and Art was pacing back and fourth rambling about being scared. Tashi couldn’t take it anymore

- “Art.” She spoke calmly, he continued pacing, “Art!” She said with her voice cracking starting to cry. Art immediately rushed to her and turned off his emotions. “What if I can’t do it?” She cried “what if I’m not a good mom? I’m not kind or caring I can’t cook-“ Art interrupted her. He smiled lightly because she was finally opening up to him

- He reassured her easily. Telling her how she was the most caring kind person she just showed it in different ways. He told her that she takes care of him ever day and he wouldn’t get anything done without her. That made her laugh. “Tashi you have done everything you could to help our daughter already, you read all those books, went to classes, took care of your health. You’re gonna be an amazing mom I know it.” He smiled kissing her head, she smiled too.

- After that Art had calmed down and focused more on Tashi. He would get her ice chips, hold her hand, dap her head with a wet towel. It was the one time he felt like he could take care of her.

- It was an easy delivery because of how much preparation Tashi had done with her body during her pregnancy. Art was so proud of her.

- They didn’t have a name for her when she was born. They had such crazy busy lives that they never got to talk about it, it slipped their minds.

- Art was sitting in the hospital bwd next to Tashi looking down at the little girl who was a spitting image of Tashi.

- “We should name her Lily.” Art suggested

“Why?” Tashi asked looking at her husband curiously

“I don’t know, it’s cute and she’s cute. We have those Lily of the valleys all around our house too. She would like it.” He said smiling at his baby, Tashi petted the baby’s dark curls.

“Okay.” She said simply,

“Really?” Art asked surprised that she agreed so easily, that was a rare occurrence .

- “I like Lily.” Tashi nodded

[witchthewriter]

𝑴𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒆  

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄.

Paid story for @yourwinchesterbros. Word Count: 2k Warnings: swears

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

Two weeks had gone by, and you weren’t sure where you stood with Jax.

   He had offered Skeeter two weeks’ worth of pay so you could take some time off; something that you knew nothing about. Skeeter had portrayed it as “keeping his employees mentally stable.” But you could smell something was off about it. Especially since it was paid time off, something that had never happened with your boss before.

    It took practically an intervention with Tig, Happy and Chibs to get you to stay at home. To make sure the trauma didn’t dig itself deeper into your psyche.

 That first week had been awful. In order to move forward you had to process what had happened. Your mental fortitude was strong, your past made it so. But still, this was what Jax was talking about. The horrors that could happen at any moment. 

  You did have help though. Barely left alone, Happy was stationed outside your door during night, taking you to your shifts and escorting you come. During the day Tig would come by and see if everything was alright. And if the other’s had time, they would pop in as well.

 Jax had come by a few times. Not for long, and not with many words either. You had no idea what to say to each other. That passion you had for one another still felt hot between you.

 It was in that second week that you had made up your mind.

This was it; this was going to be your life. The Club. And you knew you had to tell Jax, let him know your decision in person. For some reason, it felt right. 

                                                          - ✦ -

The weather was warmer than usual this morning as you got out of your car and walked into Teller Morrow mechanics. You weren’t completely sure Jax would be there, but it wouldn’t be a wasted journey; your car could always use a looking to.

   You had just gotten out of your car when you saw them.

Wendy, with her long beautiful blonde hair, wearing heeled boots and tight jeans. She looked like every man’s dream. In each hand she held one of Jax’s sons. Blonde hair and tanned skin, they were taking after their father. There was a pang in your chest. And a thought popped up in your mind – motherhood. It was an outlandish notion, but your mind had found its way there anyhow.

  Could you be a stepmother? If … by any sort of chance, you and Jax got together. Would you be able to step into that role; as mother?

(Play Nancy From Now On by Father John Misty)

Your thoughts were ripped from your brain by a heartbreaking sight. Jax held Wendy close. It was an intimate embrace, and you knew about their history, but when he pulled back and kissed her cheek... It felt like a punch to the gut. Closeness to another woman shouldn’t affect you like this. He was... well, he was your boss! For god sake you weren’t supposed to be feeling like this.

 But escaping was too late now, Gemma had been watching you from the office window and as soon as you made a move to leave, she called you over.

    Shit. You thought, trying not to let your emotions show on your face.

“I don’t think we’ve been introduced,” she called from underneath the large Teller Morrow sign. You stood in the carpark; feeling like a deer in headlights.

  And yet, you never ran from a fight, a confrontation or in this case … the devil herself.

Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you slammed the door behind you and walked over to Gemma.

                                                       - ✦ -

All you heard were boots on gravel, even as Jax greeted you. Something in you wanted to curse him out, to growl hatred words at him; jealousy was an ugly thing. But you also felt like he didn’t really do anything wrong. But looking at them together, when you had all these confusing feelings … it hurt more than it should.

 You smiled down at each of Jax’s boys. Their innocent eyes looking up at you with curiosity and intimidation. 

   Wendy waved goodbye just as you reached them. You could have sworn she flicked her hair behind her shoulder and swayed her hips as she walked away. 

 Trying to focus on something else, you crouched down, and offered your hand to both boys. 

“Well hi!” You said cheerfully, letting them know you weren’t someone to fear.

Thomas just hid behind Jax’s leg, clinging to his father’s hand. Abel on the other hand, gladly accepted yours and proudly said his name.

  “Woah,” you let your features and words turn somewhat animated, “what a cool name!”

Abel laughed and his eyes lit up. He leaned from side to side and giggled whenever your eyes met. 

   “Great, now I think he’s falling for you,” Jax remarked as he looked down at his star-struck son. You didn’t even look up at Jax.

Thomas peaked from a pant leg but once he saw you looking back, he quickly moved out of sight once again.

  “You must be the infamous Zoe__ …” Gemma trailed off, waiting for you to fill in your last name.

Smiling you replied, “just Zoe, mostly go by Zo.” You extended your hand and Gemma shook it. You could feel the cold metal of her wedding ring, and the light indentation of her nails.

                                                         - ✦ -

Gemma led the boys over to the play equipment, within minutes there were shrieks of laughter and “higher! Higher grandma!” As Gemma pushed each boy on the swing set.

Jax’s hands were in his pockets, and when he looked at you, there was something like hope in his eyes.

Moving a hand to rub behind his neck, he said “You wanna stay a while? I got some free time.”

  You hesitated, completely forgetting why you were actually here, “Uh – I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”

“Why is that?” His eyebrows furrowed together.

    “I don’t think Wendy would be too happy about it.”

“Wendy? The hell has she got to do with this?”

    You sighed and looked for any other place than him. Any other place than those eyes, because they felt like some place you hadn’t felt in a while. Those eyes felt like home.

 “Hey,” Jax reached for your hand, and you nearly let him take it. But a familiar voice rang out through the carpark.

Turning your attention to it, you found Tig, who came out of the mechanics with a dirty rag over his shoulder.

  “Well look what the cat dragged in,” the playfulness in his voice lightened the air that surrounded you and Jax.

When you replied, your voice changed; light-heartedness had found its way back in. Or maybe you were just a damn good actress.

  “Hey Tig, can you uh, look at my car for me?”

With an enthusiastic nod, he realised too late that he had interrupted something serious. If you were a mind reader, you would hear, ‘Fuck you Tig, and fuck your big mouth, dumbass!’ But all you got was a lopsided grin and a man eager to get away from Jax. It was as if  Hades himself was sat on a child’s plastic chair, staring at both of you from afar.

As you walked over to your car, Tig mumbled, “the fuck you say to him?”

 Without glancing at him, you pulled your keys from your pocket and handed them over, “not much.”

Jumping in the driver’s seat, you stood back and watched as Tig parked your car in the empty slot inside. You slowly walked over, basking in the Californian sun. The pavement seemed to radiant even more heat, because you found yourself walking over to the shade.

   “Ugh, Zo-“ Tig called out.

You walked over, not looking over at Jax, whose eyes bored into you. For a moment he swore you were Tara. Your long brown hair with that red undertone, the way you dressed, except for the all black clothing. It was just a glimpse of a memory, one that wasn’t hard to remember.  

 Reaching Tig, you asked what the damage was.  

     “All I can say is, it’s gonna take a few days.”  

“Perfect,” you replied, eyes nearly rolling into the back of your head.

                                                           - ✦ -

There had been many offers to drive you back home, but ultimately Jax won out. You didn’t think he would’ve wanted to be anywhere near you right now, but for some reason…that wasn’t the case. And you still needed to tell him your decision.

  Gemma took the boys back to Jax’s place, where they’d be waiting for him to get home. They waved by to their dad from the swing set, their happiness a godsend since Tara passed.

Getting on the back of Jax’s Harley felt completely natural. Flinging a leg over, clipping on the helmet and hugging his waist all felt so normal. Although, you couldn’t stop the blush that you grew on your cheeks. Especially when Chibs winked at you as Jax reversed.

The ride had felt too short. You wanted it to go on and on, and as cliché as it sounds; you wanted to ride off into the sunset. It happened, didn’t it? Two people were able to fall in love and leave all their worries behind? Well, that’s what the fairytales told you. And surely they weren’t all lies?

 But your house was nearing; behind slanted trees, there was a stone pathway that ascended towards your door. You thought Jax was just going to wait until you reached the front door and drive off, but the second he killed the engine, you knew he was coming in.

 You left the front door open and turned on the kettle, knowing this was going to be … more than an odd conversation. Plus, you needed something to do with your hands.

As if he lived there too, Jax walked straight in and closed the door behind him.

   “Coffee or tea?” You called from the kitchen, trying to find the teabags.

“Uh, neither,” he said from the loungeroom, not knowing if he should sit down.

      “Beer then?”

“That, I’ll take.”

 You opened your fridge and took out two bottles, popped them and handed one to Jax. You could hear one of your dogs scratching at the back door, and you knew exactly which it was.

   Before sitting down, you went over and slid open the back door. Jango burst in like a rocket, his tail wagging back and forth. Angus, your Doberman, was much more graceful. The pair followed you back into the loungeroom, where Jax had taken a seat on the far corner.

    “So…” you said, sitting down. Both dogs were at your feet, waiting to be invited onto the couch.

“So-“ Jax said and took a swig of his drink. You did the same, and knew you were going to have to speak first.

   “I’m in. I’m fully in.” You said almost as an outburst.

Well, an outburst it was, because Jax was taken back.

   “The Club, I mean. I’m fully aware of the risks and I want to be involved.”

He nodded slowly, eyes closing for split second before shaking his head. “I knew you would.”

You weren’t 100% sure what his reaction was going to be. Your stomach was churning as you watched him take another big gulp. Would he get angry? Just get up and walk out?

 Without warning, he got up from his seat and placed his bottle on the nearest counter. You knew words were forming, there was something he needed to say. But he couldn’t find the right way to say it. Putting one hand in his pocket, and flaring his nose, he finally got the words out. 

  “…Why, were you upset with me and Wendy?”

You blanched, not thinking this was going to be his response. 

 “I-,” your mind went through so many different options of what could be said, but you were already looking into those eyes. You were looking at home.

  “I was jealous.”

He took a moment to process it. To know that his feelings weren’t unrequited.

 And somehow you were both standing now; he was looking in your eyes just as intently.

The movement towards one another was easy, and when Jax extended his hand, you accepted it.

 You moved closer, and his lips were inches from touching your own. Inches away from feeling the physical contact of the Prince of Death.

 His other hand stroked the hair from your face, and he dropped his eyes to look at your lips. Heart racing, he shook his head and stepped back. 

  “I’ve lost too much; I don’t know if I can do that again.”

[minetteskvareninova]

Rhaenyra overcoming her fear of motherhood and pregnancy was such a missed opportunity! Like, imagine Rhaenyra, in her early twenties, who has just given up the hope of having normal intercourse with her husband - like, his sexuality aside (and that’s one hell of an aside), their wedding must’ve been extremely traumatic for him. There’s no way in hell Leanor was able to have regular intercourse with her, and both of them must’ve absolutely HATED it. It’s perfectly plausible that they gave up trying to conceive normally pretty early on in their marriage. Instead, Rhaenyra has some good old trauma bonding after the wedding with Harwin Strong, and then, after interacting regularly with him for a few months, is just like. Fuck it. It might as well be him.

And it happens FAST. Like, in the books, Jace was born the SAME YEAR Rhaenyra married Laenor, but even in the show she seems to have conceived within a couple of years after the wedding. So Rhaenyra understandably freaks out! Her little adventure with Daemon might’ve allowed her to put aside her fears for a while, but it of course did nothing to actually address them! She probably considers the good old moon tea, but she knows that as an heir, she can’t afford to just not have children at all. One day, she would have to face the music and give birth, no matter how much it triggers her trauma from her mother’s death. So she seeks help. She can’t turn to Alicent, not after she vouched for fucking Criston. Laena is still unmarried at this point, though Rhaenyra has probably heard that Corlys has agreed to marry her off to Daemon. Her last resort are her friends, except she doesn’t seem to have any (I headcannon that she does hang out with the women at court, but none of those are especially close to her, more like people to gossip, drink dornish red with and impress by her massive fuck you dragon), and... Rhaenys.

Like, imagine mommy Rhaenys coming to the court on her large fuck you dragon the in the last stages of her pregnancy. Imagine her being all “oh, honey, did you sleep well? what about the morning sickness?”. And at first it’s just care for her unborn grandchild, but for Rhaenyra, it’s a brief moment of having her mother back. And she starts to turn to Rhaenys for political advice, realizing she is much smarter than her father... For just a couple of months, the two are absolute besties! Rhaenys suddenly has a second daughter! Rhaenyra finally confronts her fears of motherhood and with Rhaenys’ guidance learns to love the child she is about to give birth to! It’s so beautiful... Untill her kid is born. Untill Rhaenys starts to hear the rumors. Untill she realizes the child is an absolute fucking miracle considering it was conceived so quickly after the wedding, with a father who doesn’t even like women (and was around the time of conception still mourning his lover). She doesn’t want to reject Rhaenyra to her face, but after they attend Laena’s wedding together (and boy is that a Moment for Rhaenyra, to watch her childhood friend marry her first love she’s probably not entirely over), Rhaenys returns to Driftmark and politely rejects her requests to visit her at King’s Landing, and always has an excuse why they can’t visit her and Corlys at Driftmark just yet. And if Rhaenyra doesn’t know why at first, she catches up pretty quickly. It’s the last straw that finally breaks her and makes her withdraw into herself, mining drops of happiness wherever she can - in the friendship with her husband, in her secret relationship with Harwin, and in her father. And more importantly, her son. Because she has no mum. She now IS the mum. And she can’t let her child down.

[deldeldel90]

 Isolde really shouldn't be as she is right now. 

 The two queens sat together so close yet so far because Isolde knew, as she knew a lot of things, that it'd never happen. It was a dangerous thing. A foul thing that soaked into the heart she'd believed had grown apathetic to all feelings,

 but it hadn't. It hadn't at all. It beat as loud as the banged drums that welcomed the king— her husband— back into the kingdom after being away, and it hurt as much as it did when his gaze fell and her and he, he, he—

 He was stone as cold as cemetery blocks, he was a sting of pain that made her squeeze her eyes shut, he was the man she married that she never could let go, not from choice nor from lingering infatuation, but from responsibility. 

 When she looked into his eyes now, she saw Blaine's red eyes crystal clear. Red like blood, like rage, the color of emotion, of beating hearts— the color of lungs, whose main function was to protect the body from the outside. 

 Red, red, red. It stared at her, piercing, during the rare night she could sneak into the five year old bedroom and tell him stories. 

 The other woman— The queen of the Pastel kingdom— leans against her slightly. It's a casual touch, void of any meaning or intent, but it draws Isolde's attention instantly back to her surroundings, back to how alone they both were. 

 The scent of fresh flowers, native to the Pastel kingdom, made Isolde breathe in deeply, taking in her and everything she is. 

 Lilyth didn't remind her of the sweetness of sugar that Isolde was accustomed to. She was natural, like roots growing out the earth, like the air after a heavy, sorrowful rain, like weeds in the grass and fallen, rotting trees becoming one with where it came once upon a time. 

 She was temperamental skies calming down into a lovely light blue, tired after storming for so long, growing lonely as people caged themselves indoors, scared of things they'd never seen before. She was the peace that came after war, nervous gatherings and hesitant apologies. Earnest love. Truth. 

 Lilyth waited for her husband and every once in a while, her lips would slowly turn up and she'd crack a smile, deep in thought, unaware of how strangely beautiful Isolde considered her, of how much she was going over every little thing in her head. 

 The flower the Lily is has something to do with purity, devotion— rebirth, motherhood— all the classes Isolde had to take to become a proper lady came flashing in her memory, all ties suddenly connecting to the angel sitting next to her. 

 Just being near Lilyth makes her heart act up. She doesn't get why she's so attracted to her— maybe it's her warm smile, maybe it's the delicate love she shows to the people around her, maybe it's the hinted loathing Isolde just gets, maybe the unconventional beauty she's got going for her that Isolde's never seen before. 

 There's too many 'maybes' to name and each one makes the same amount of sense as the other. 

 She doesn't know Lilyth, but she's seen her, she's watched her (within reason, Isolde's not a total creep), she's witnessed her happiness with Jack and felt a horrible yearning rise in her chest. 

 Isolde swore to herself that she wouldn't fall in love a second time— or, perhaps, fall in love like she did a many time before. She'd done so with Leland, yes, but he wasn't the only one, nor was romantic love the only kind of love. 

 Her family, her children, her past, her music— too many times she fell in deep love. Too many times that love wrapped its pretty glittery ribbons around her neck and choked her mercilessly, let her fall into cold ground, and tried to make her learn her lesson. 

 Nothing was ever worth the loss that would come after— whether it'd be taking a chance and giving a smile to the prince she thought was hers or trying to get Blaine off the weekend of his birthday. Nothing.

 The lesson never worked, no matter how much injury and conflict and ruin it'd give her, Isolde would be slaughtered by the unwilling love that enraptured her being, made her commit and give in to things she knew were stupid. Again and again and again. 

 It's a curse, she thought, sparing the woman a glance yet again, a disastrous curse befitting us common people. Us loving people. Us… us people. 

 Because everybody loves, in one way or another, for better or for worse, and love— well, it has a universal meaning, forever changing. 

 When Isolde was small, she looked at her parents and knew she liked Love quite a bit. Love is wonderful at that time, a splash of salt water that a lone otter appreciates on its own, a shy, lopsided grin as she watches her mother hold her father's hand. 

 She laughs at her friends making fun of their shitty substitute teacher with hands beside their heads and sticking at their tongues like kindergarteners. When that same teacher tries to put her in detention because she can't concentrate on the material they're all learning, Isabella and Ray both throw their books on the ground in perfect sync and get the attention away from her.

 Tears brim her eyes afterwards and she hugs them both tighter than ever. Isabella's fruity perfume is strong on the clothes that Isolde's pressed against. Ray, with his arms wrapped around her, awkwardly says how it's not a big deal. We did what anyone would do— nobody's an ass to our Izzy.

 At that moment, Isolde decides that she really loves her friends. 

 When she turns fifteen, Love is selfish and painful and burns her throat when she kisses a boy she's known for a day. It's the strong stench of liquor after a crazy night out where she wakes up laughing after a flash in memory, ignoring how it's three in the morning and she's definitely gonna get grounded. It's the scorching hot flames that make her cheeks burn red when she dreams about caressing a girl's scars. 

 Selene kisses her once at the end of the dance and backs away like she's done something awful, like she's killed someone. Guilt floods through the girl's expression, as she apologizes over and over, never giving Isolde a minute to say something— anything—

 "I'm sorry," she says and Isolde stares at her like a gaping-mouth fish. "I– I should go."

 Isolde's frizzy hair bounces as she tries to stumble after Selene, her coworker, her friend, her— her maybe-crush. 

 Her dress is tight as she runs back home, making her trip and falling and hurting herself against unforgiving concrete that splits into her pale skin. She curses the Plaid kingdom and how… advanced everything is, how she can't find a secretive, good place to cry in. 

 She hides herself in a music shop, not planning to buy anything. The crisp air seeping into her bloodied knee. 

 She, impulsive as she is, uses all the coins she's got and buys herself something pretty— something she's always wanted. 

 (And she uses the paper receipt to wipe her tears and smeared makeup.) 

 Her fingers drum against a bright-red guitar for the first time. She gives her heart to the instrument and she's not given it back. It's kept a secret, a lovely little gift at the end of the day where she can pour her soul into angry songs that make her feel alive. 

 When she grows from a teenager to just a tad bit older, Love is right and wrong and frustratingly confusing when she meets a prince who says he loves her, who calls her names that sound affectionate, who throws extravagant sweets into her arms and— well, it feels nice. 

 Even when he can't recall her favorite flower (begonias, which grow in afternoon shade and with fertile ground) and when he looks at her and she realizes how much he feels like a stranger. 

 It's still relatively innocent, she pretends that it's jitters when she feels scared at his more intense outbursts. They're still getting to know each other and Leland, though a little uncaring, disinterested, is nice enough. 

 Love at first sight makes her consider staying, before writing a letter to her father, asking for advice. 

 He never writes her back and she's left wondering what she's supposed to do now. She stays still, like prey acting dead, hoping that being queen for one of the biggest kingdoms in the world is something she can back away from. 

 The first child is what actually gets her to stay— and, it's okay then. She doesn't want Blaine to think his parents are unhappy. Leland lets Blaine sit with her for as long as they'd like when he doesn't have classes. Or music practice that goes on for hours. Or army training that Leland swears to her is just for boyish fun. 

 They sit in silence as Isolde runs her fingers through his shiny hair. His chubby face looks up at her and whispers words she barely catches. 

 "Chin up, bon-bon," she tells him, allowing herself to be playful as she pats his cheek affectionately. "Face the sky, the clouds— it's the only way you'll see what awaits you." 

 "Awaits me?" Blaine's a smart boy. He understands a lot more than one-year-olds usually do. It sorta scares Isolde because she knows Leland's smart too, that Leland's cynical, that her husband and her son have the same red eyes that face the same world. 

 She swallows painfully as she internalizes that her boy isn't the king. He will be, though, when he's older— but for now, he's one and naive and traces words with his fingers whenever he reads. 

 "I don't know what exactly but I know it's good," she admits, words flowing out directly from her heart. "I know that you're gonna be great— better than great, you're gonna be happy and and free and—" 

 "The best?" He asks. It's an innocent question yet it makes her freeze slightly, makes her tense up and think about it. 

 She doesn't remember ever answering him. She scooped him up into her arms, ruffling her queen dress, and held him close. 

 Now, as she's got three sons and a husband whose she watches more closely than is normal, Love is dangerous, a silver dagger made for killing, used for chopping bits of poison out of a twisted desire for power, a care for only one and that one only. 

 It's a driving motive and the defining reason for why people do things they normally wouldn't. It's repressed and condensed and ignored and not understood. 

 It's an unraveling theory about obsession and possession, what it means to deserve somebody else, what it means to learn to hate a bleeding heart. 

 But also, it's her son being pulled away from her on dark nights. It's hearing a tiny Fredrick whimper as he cradles his latest broken limb. It's having thoughts that nobody ever wants to hear, a brokedown melody that attracts not a single listener. 

 Compliments she can't tell. Kisses she can't give. Aching so desperately to have somebody, to let that person see who she is and accept her, wishing for a life where she could love freely, love messily, love with an open, ugly heart that's used and sloppy and imperfect— yet accepted. 

 Maybe, it dawns on her sourly, love isn't an option for people in situations like Isolde. Maybe, she feels too deeply and ruins everything for everyone. Maybe, it's her own fault for never having the strength to fight harder for love. Maybe— maybe, Isolde isn't built to love. 

 (The revelation hurts more than she expected it to.) 

 The lightest, most delicate sigh falls from the heavenly lips of the Pastel queen. Her calloused hands are pressed together firmly in her lap, her respectful posture never falling for even a second. The crown resonated on her skull like it was meant to be. 

 Not noticing Isolde in the slightest, Lilyth raised her head slightly upwards, her gloomy expression disappearing in a second, the brightest grin manifesting on her pretty face. 

 Perhaps, in another world, Isolde could fool herself into believing that smile was for her, but in this one, there was only one reason for that kind of smile, the gentle grin that didn't have to beg for glances. 

 King Jack has finally arrived, gazing at his queen with the fire of a thousand suns. Lilyth, although bashful, thrives at his attention, at the sunlight he provides with his sparkles and beams and jolts of laughter as he babbles on about something something, with Leland's name popping up every now and again. 

 Leland stands up straighter when he hears himself being brought up. It's not out of ego (at least, not this time, not with him) but out of need to be seen, to be noticed. 

 She recognized it in an instant that he wasn't listening to a word his best friend was saying— and neither was she, only taking in the presence of the other woman. 

 Isolde felt like a schoolgirl again, giddy and nervous over a particularly attractive classmate choosing to sit next to her. Noticing every glance she was blessed with, heart thumping gently as she forgot everything around her. 

 "Right, Leeloo?" Jack said, pausing his story for a moment of input that Leland would provide. The sparkles around him gleamed with anticipation. 

 Leland shook slightly, before settling himself firmly, blinking like a fool. "Oh, yes, yes," he said, offhandedly and quite clearly distracted. "Of course, Jackie!" 

 Despite her distaste for him, Isolde had to bite back a thin-lipped smile that looked more like an upturned grimace than anything else. 

 Ironically, it appeared that husband and wife of the Plaid kingdom were both utterly enamored with their Pastel counterparts.

 Lilyth lets out the softest chuckle Isolde ever heard, the skin around her mirthful eyes crinkling with joy, and her mind is gone with the wind yet again. 

 Love, a word that means millions upon millions of things to everybody that's ever existed but there's one common ground that stays the same. 

 Us loving people, Isolde thought for the final time as she lost herself in her loud surroundings, in her own yearning, we're all cursed. 

[sleuthy-scientist]

A Mother's Love Part III

Elizabeth read the words her daughter had carefully written to her. She had to re-read it three times, finding it difficult to digest and get through the contents in its entirety.

Frustrated, she could feel a migraine coming on from the tension and stress of her emotions. There was no mistaking the tears welling in her eyes, for anything other than hurt, sadness, and guilt.

Their relationship had always been strained, but she never thought it would get to this point. Where her daughter lost her patience and cut ties with her. She never considered it would come to this.

Finding out she was going to be a grandmother, yet it was short lived and bittersweet excitement. Because, Emily was pregnant with a child, she might never be allowed to meet. And reading the painstaking words, she couldn't blame Emily for her position.

Elizabeth wondered if she hadn't had her assistant turn Emily away in her attempts to visit, if this letter would still have been delivered today. Or if she had bothered to take a second to make time for her, Emily would have informed her of her impending motherhood in person.

A part of her was glad Emily hadn't been present when she learned the news of her grandchild. Elizabeth knew she would likely have made some snide remark about Aaron, Emily's work, or unmarried status. Starting yet another fight between them, a fight, she now knew Emily foresaw. One Elizabeth knew she had already avertently lost.

Although they had never been close, Elizabeth never doubted Emily's love for her. Her daughter was a kind, generous, niave, and carefree soul. Even when she was rambunctious or rebellious, she was never intentionally malicious. Elizabeth knew as hurt and betrayed as she felt, her daughter likely was equally as devastated, if not more so.

Emily didn't have the capacity to hold grudges, she had always been too forgiving for her own good. Elizabeth had always worried her naive belief in trying to find the good in others, would only ever disappoint her. Elizabeth knew she was a hypocrite on this matter, only further proving what little she knew of her daughter right.

She took it for granted that she would always have Emily's love in her life. Her daughter had been the one thing in her life that was permanent, she had never thought she could lose her.

And while her daughter wasn't living the life she wanted for her, Elizabeth knew Emily could take care of herself. She had proven her intelligence and independence from an early age. She had never seemed to need her before. And now she truly realised how little she did, and she felt she neither wanted or needed to make an effort.

But Elizabeth realized there was no point in lying to herself any longer. She knew Emily was right, that she always put work first. Unlike her daughter, she had always needed recognition, fueled by the praises of the public.

Emily had typically been the opposite, hating being the center of attention, having all eyes focused on her. Elizabeth knew her daughter acted out for the attention and love she craved. The things as her mother she had withheld not fully realising the damage and effects she caused.

She wanted to scoff and brush it off, like what she had written was fiction and utterly ridiculous. But, Elizabeth knew Emily hadn't lied in her letter. It was a tough pill to swallow now, knowing just how much she had hurt her daughter.

Elizabeth had foolishly thought her job was everything, that it would keep her busy and give her life fulfillment until she died. But she could smell the blood in the water, knowing she was becoming irrelevant in the political sphere. It had been that way for awhile, as he just hadn't wanted to admit it, even to herself.

One day soon, she would outlive her usefulness and eventually be replaced. It pained her, because for so long it was the only thing she could control, the only thing that made sense to her. It gave her a rush and made her feel alive, when she felt she was failing at everything else.

And now it may have cost her the only relationship she had, that had ever consisted of unconditional love. A love Emily had bestowed on her, so selflessly, one that she hadn't even made an effort to try and return. One she might be too late to even try to repair.

Regardless, Elizabeth knew she must accept her blame and responsibility in the matter, if she had any hope of fixing things. Even if she didn't know why Emily couldn't find a life without so much danger. Why she couldn't understand the choices that lead her daughter down such a thankless path.

She knew Emily wasn't asking anything impossible from her, that what she wanted was reasonable. Elizabeth just didn't know how to get past the barrier in between them. How to even begin to broach the subject after receiving this letter. Emily had left the ball in her court, Elizabeth knew she had to be the one to reach out this time and make an effort.

She had missed out on so much of her daughter's life and had nothing to really show for it. She wanted to do better and see her grandchild grow up. Well grandchildren, Elizabeth knew for Emily's sake she would need to include Jack in that category.

That, she had to learn to accept the choices and life, her daughter made for herself. Knowing Emily may never forgive her, because she had never been the kind of parent a child deserved. But, Elizabeth knew now, she both wanted and needed Emily in her life.

And while she had never taken the time to see her daughter in a maternal setting, she had no doubt Emily was already a much better parent then she ever had. That Jack and however many other children they had, Emily would love them all equally.

It already amazed her, how seamlessly her daughter accepted a child that wasn't her own. The lengths she was willing to go, only further showing how fiercely she protected him and his father. The way they constantly sought out her affection, which she gave so openly and freely. The comfort and happiness she felt in their presence alone, in turn, was obvious.

Elizabeth wondered if her and Emily had ever had a fraction of the bond her daughter shared with Jack. How long had she failed her, been too blinded by her lust for power and greed, succeeding in a man's world. Had she permanently lost the one good thing, that she had no right to take credit for?

Her daughter had always had this innate kindness about her. When she was young she could charm anyone with a sweet smile and a few words. But her favourite thing had been picking and collecting flowers to give to people.

She could recall when Emily was little and went around picking and collecting flowers to give people. Even then she was always thinking of others, trying to find some way to connect and welcome them.

Other dignitaries used to think it was the most adorable little diplomatic gesture, often citing Elizabeth for her wonderful parenting raising such a kind soul. She could recall smiling back at them, knowing her daughter had a bright future in politics, following in her footsteps.

She had once asked Emily why she did it, sure she would get some ridiculous response like "flowers are pretty mommy ". But her daughter surprised her saying "It's scary being somewhere new, far away from home. I want them to have something bright and happy to see everything is ok."

At the time, she thought it was a rather peculiar thing for her six year old to say. Now it saddened her, Emily had always been wise beyond her years, with such a sensitive side. Her selflessness and loyalty, knew no bounds.

Yet now, Elizabeth couldn't remember why or even when her daughter stopped doing that sentimental gesture for others. Or what other parts of her daughter she missed, barrly watching her grow up from afar.

It pained her to look back now and see as successful of a career as she had, to know what a failure as a parent she had been. Knowing she couldn't right the wrongs of her past. Wrongs, that may have permanently altered any future relationship she hoped to have with her daughter or grandchildren.

How many times had she put her own priorities above Emily, knowing she was young and resilient, took everything in stride. That her child was getting rewarding experiences and the best education afforded to her. Telling herself she was only setting Emily up for the future, opening every door in daughter's path for her.

Thinking her lazy, and ungrateful for squandering all she had been given. Knowing she had been wrong to even think that. Being able to see first hand, the difference Emily made in her job. The way she helped people, those so scared and alone, get justice for themselves and their loved ones.

That while it wasn't glamourous and what she dreamed for her daughter, Emily had done it all on her own. Elizabeth was left wishing, she had taken an interest, tried to understand, had shown her child even an ounce of love. So that she knew how proud she made her mother.

Knowing her not so little girl surrounded herself with death and darkness, day in and day out, yet still managed to find a pocket of happiness to hold onto. Elizabeth was glad as cruel and evil a world Emily lived in, that she never let it harden her. That she never closed herself off to the possibilities and real connections she made of her own choice and merit.

Now all she was thinking was what right did she have to stake a claim in her daughter's happiness and life. Especially when she had been so absent and distant for the majority of the of thrty four years Emily had been alive.

[deathsbestgirl]

scully + ghosts

is…emily trying to reach out to scully? it’s melissa’s voice but. the second call scully gets (on her cellphone that time) she was dreaming of the time she accidentally killed her bunny because bill was threatening to kill it & cook it, after she found it, she sees emily sitting on the stairs watching her.

emily looks like melissa. and then she gets the picture of emily from the detective & goes back to bill’s to compare it to pictures of melissa

so like. idk in my head it’s because of their connection. they just have a deeply rooted connection, the scully women. they have psychic abilities, and scully specifically has a connection to the dead (another reason for her ending up in pathology?) and melissa can hear melissa — melissa was the one encouraging scully to find out what happened to her when she was abducted. she *knew* there was something really important. the whole idea has always terrified scully, because she ~knew too but it was too much to face. and she doesn’t until she’s forced to. the cancer. then after her remission, emily shows up months later.

and this episode isn’t funny at all, but there’s still some humor in scully stumbling on a case when she’s on vacation.)l

when she calls mulder in the middle of dinner but can’t bring herself to talk because it’s too much & she has no idea what’s happening and she hasn’t had to lean on him like that since her cancer

scully telling maggie about emily, thinking emily is melissa’s daughter — and to scully that makes so much sense because how was she hearing melissa’s voice on the phone

there’s something here about ghosts & technology. later langley uses mulder’s phone to reach out from the beyond

maggie sharing her experience of her husband after he died — dreams, phone calls. “we’re still connected to them, dana, even after they’re gone”

oh god, the memory of christmas + the crosses. seeing herself as maggie.

(the way i didn’t mean to write about this episode)

the conspiracy with the clinic & the drugs — the framing of the husband. but why was he so on board with the experiment?

emily grabbing scully’s necklace & scully taking it off to put it on emily — god it’s so hard to watch scully with emily. she’s softer than ever. has it occurred to her yet that emily could be hers? that dream…and god it feels like emily recognized the necklace. she can feel the connection to scully. (remembering the only other time scully didn’t wear her necklace was when she lost it being abducted by duane barry, abducted, and mulder kept it safe for her — *wore it* to keep her close. only two people have had the honor)

god bill is such a jerk. i can see how he cares, but he’s such a jerk. the bad psychoanalyzing the scully’s are doing to her — maggie’s though has the string of belief, that they’re connected, the dead don’t simply leave them.

now mr. sim signs a confession?? but she catches on cuz she’s not gonna fall for something so easy — looks like a setup, walks like a setup. and then she sees the two men who were watching before & they find mr. sim dead.

why does bill think scully would make this up to have a child & a chance at motherhood? it’s so dismissive of scully as a person. a severe oversimplification.

scully opening up to this woman about her emotional distance — her fear of death & dying…and yet she became a pathologist & joined the fbi.

(the dark lighting in this episode is ridiculous. it doesn’t make sense why she has a meeting with this woman in extremely dim lighting is weird.)

this memory with melissa is fucking beautiful. the comfort melissa tries to give scully about joining the fbi, not following the typical medicine path. reminding her of what’s important (and honestly why it matters to scully).

i love that scully’s connection to melissa is so strong. scully has had two perfect opposites in her life. melissa & mulder. and it forged a connection that surpasses even death (any insurmountable distance — “i had the strength of your beliefs,” how scully had dreams of mulder’s abduction experience, seeing his spirit when he was drifting off) these memories are still so clear for scully and it’s beautiful & painful & incredible.

(going right into emily because i have to)

i wish we got to see scully call mulder. he shows up and immediately she introduces him to emily. mulder quickly noticing scully’s necklace around emily’s neck. and gods, i love this man & the way he is with children. his empathy shines through more than ever. the way he recognizes their innocence, pain & struggle and does exactly what will help them, make them comfortable with him. so he’s goofy with her and doesn’t put pressure on her to interact more than she’s comfortable with. and the layer of ~emily is scully’s daughter~ (however it came to be)

mulder&scully’s honesty with each other is one of the most powerful aspects of their relationship. they never want to see the other hurt, but not at the expense of the truth because that’s what is most important to both of them. to them, truth is the foundation of true loyalty & love & care. this dedication to the truth forged their trust within in their partnership and has carried through to every facet & phase of their relationship — it’s why diana fowley caused so much turmoil when she was around. she couldn’t change their foundation or relationship, but she could get into mulder’s head, manipulate him when he’s vulnerable, taking advantage of his quest & desires and it scared scully in a very different way. the way he behaved made her think his trust shifted, that he would believe a lie if it aligned with his goals/confirmed what he *wanted* to believe, that he seemed to doubt her in a way she never experienced from him before (even early in their partnership, and i’m sorry but she fought for every bit of trust she’s earned from him and it seems to her that fowley didn’t have to do a damn thing to earn his trust & doesn’t deserve it at all)

anyway. all that to say, mulder telling scully about emily’s mother of record, a false record. he’s worried about how emily came to be, who made it happen & why. mulder doesn’t want scully in the line of fire (again).

“i’ve considered that, but i’ve also considered that there’s only one right thing to do.”

“why didn’t you call me sooner”

“because i couldn’t believe it. but i need you now to be a witness on my behalf in this hearing.”

“i should have declined, if i never want to see you hurt or harmed in any way.”

“then why are you here?”

“because i know something that i haven’t said, that they’ll use against you to jeopardize your custody of emily. no matter how much you love this little girl, she’s a miracle that was never meant to be scully.”

he’s afraid of what pursuing this avenue with emily will do to her. he fears what it means for scully, for emily, the conspiracy they stumbled into. but he will always do what she asks of him. and what he says in this hearing for her — scully looks in pain & turmoil the entire time.

“…the fact remains that ms. scully is the mother of this child.”

“not in any legal definition.”

“well if you can show me a legal precedent for this case, i’d like to see it. dana has known for quite some time that she can’t bear children. she hasn’t known why. now, however that happened, the fact that she can adopt this child — her own flesh and blood — is something i don’t feel i have the right to question, and i don’t believe anybody has the right to stand in the way of.”

seeing scully’s reaction to his words is A LOT. first she seems close to falling apart, listening to them talk about her abduction & the consequences of it and then the conviction mulder speaks with about her right to adopt emily & how he believes it is what’s right, after cautioning her against it — speechless, quite honestly. mulder’s empathy & compassion for scully in this is outstanding. he wants to protect her, but not at the cost of what she wants, or honesty & truth, or of hurting their partnership/relationship. the way they help each other face the harsh truths of their lives is fucking beautiful.

“why didn’t you tell me mulder?”

“i never expected this. i thought i was protecting you.”

“why would they do this to me?”

“i only know that genetic experiments were being done, that children were being created.”

“children being created for who?”

“for who? for what? i don’t know.”

she was stunned by the way he spoke for her & defended her rights, but at the same time so hurt he never told her all of this about the experiments & what he learned while she was sick. a truth he shielded her from — something they so rarely if ever do (because truth is the foundation of everything for them) — trying to protect her, to shield her from this truth. it shakes her. i think this is one of his bigger mistakes with her, but at the same time, i don’t know how you could ever tell someone you love about what they unknowingly went through. and in the case of her abduction, she has always shied away from it. not remembering & knowing was terrifying, but learning why she doesn’t remember is part of her finding out what happened to her. she wasn’t prepared for this now, she wasn’t prepared for it during her cancer. these events forced her hand and she still fought it when faced with someone who remembered (penny northern). both of their hands have been forced here, and what easily could have ruined their partnership & trust if they were anyone else, this eventually makes them stronger & closer.

it’s *extremely* interesting that scully gets another call, in mulder’s presence, but there’s no voice, no one speaks. and when mulder gets the call traced to where emily is, they go running and find her with a bad fever. (so again, was it emily reaching out but now that scully is aware of her, she doesn’t need melissa to do the talking?) mulder picking emily up, cradling her against him, holding her head & finding the bump on her neck.

watching mulder fight for scully & emily is my favorite. he isn’t really a violent man, but he doesn’t hesitate to beat the shit out of calderon for refusing to help. and when he follows him, we see alien bounty hunters? and that he’s one of them…surprise, surprise.

“mommy said no more tests” — and that’s why they killed her. emily doesn’t like the tests, and she was suffering. her mom didn’t want to keep putting her through that. she wanted her to have peace for whatever life she had left. her dad wanted her to keep getting the treatment, i assume he didn’t want to give up. and then they needed someone to take the fall, he was perfect for it.

mulder’s ability to put together pieces when there are still so many holes he can’t fill — who else could do this? whoever created emily probably still needs her, they want her alive to continue whatever they’re *really* doing. “for different reasons”

he finds anna fugazzi…a 71 year old woman. he learns all of these women are in hormones & have all had children, after an age that’s typical…

scully fighting for emily — i love moms on a warpath to save/protect their children. i love that we get to see scully like this. the depth of her love is unlike any other.

mulder finds scully’s name wherever anna figazzi is, and an incubated fetus?? in green liquid. god i hate this. poor scully, poor mulder always rising things that will ultimately cause scully pain. but he also has what could treat emily?

scully has made up her mind though. she’s accepted the truth of emily’s ~creation~ and she doesn’t want to make her suffer anymore either, let her be a test subject, let her life be about fulfilling the agenda of cruel men. scully wants to love her and let her have peace. the difficult choices she’s had to make as a mother for emily are too much for anyone.

mulder is there for her, always. however he can be, however she lets him

“who are the men who would create a life whose only hope is to die?”

“i don’t know. but that you found her…and you had a chance to love her, maybe she was meant for that, too.”

“she found me.”

“so you could save her.”

the way mulder can’t look as she opens the casket. it’s too painful for him, he’s afraid of what she’ll find. but he turns back to see her pick up her necklace. the only thing emily could leave scully with to help her through this. mulder & her faith.

[makinghomehere]

Motherhood

May 4, 2023

Part 4

Today was hard. Baby has fought every nap, has slept maybe 40 minutes since he woke up this morning at 6 am. I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m feeling frustrated. Honestly i could burst into tears right this second about everything that feels like it’s going wrong. I feel like I’m backed into a corner. Like i have no time for myself. I’ve bearly ate, I’m covered in multiple bodily liquids. I haven’t showered. I’m home alone, with the baby. Every. Day. he’s having a hard time. So am i. “These are the moments you’ll miss” i say to myself. I close my eyes and pretend I’m 80, and he’s got a family of his own and only calls sometimes. I cry. I legit started bawling. It hurts that I’m so frustrated. It hurts that i can’t soothe him and make him comfortable. It hurts that i don’t feel human anymore, I’m only a mom. I want to find myself outside of him. I want us to coexist. But he would crawl back inside of me if he could, and that would be ok. I try to not beat myself up. Everyday can’t be perfect. Everyday can’t be easy. My head pounds from the crying, both his and mine, my emotions go from rage to sadness to grief all at once. I miss my own mom. She wasn’t perfect but she just was. She was her own person first, and maybe that was her downfall. But i respect her need to be herself. I’m sad she never got to see me as a mom, though in these moments I’m glad she hasn’t. I can’t imagine calling her and asking for advice, because she would laugh and say “how do you think mothers have done it since the begining of time?.. sacrifice”

I’m sacrificing all of myself. For him and for the better of our family. I don’t get to work and escape for hours on end. I can’t even use the toilet alone without childcare figured out. I can’t make myself a meal without a baby on my hip. I can’t go to bed when I’m tired without rocking him to sleep first. I’m tired of sacrificing and it’s only been 6 months. Please tell me it gets easier to disregard yourself. To forget your own feelings. Tell me it gets easier to prioritize everyone else.

I’ve always been a people pleaser. I’ve always cared deeply for others and put them ahead of myself. But when you grow a baby inside of you and you raise this baby, 24/7 with no days off, you learn of a new kind of love. A new kind of sacrifice. A new kind of self loathing. A new form of jealousy. A new ache for something different.

I tell myself that this isn’t the season for my home to be perfectly clean. It isn’t the season to pamper myself and go to the gym. Or the hair salon. Or the bar. This is the season of love. Of caring for others. Of self sacrifice. This is the season of learning. I tell myself it gets easier. But i can’t tell if I’m hopeful or naive.

love always,

With tears,

xoxo liv xoxo

[anxious2dsimp]

Haikyuu Dads celebrating Mother's Day | Osamu, Iwaizumi, & Kuroo

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Pairings: Osamu x Reader, Iwaizumi x reader, Kuroo x Reader.

Flavor: Fluffy af bby ☁️

Reader: Female Mother!Reader

Format: Drabbles (1.1k words total)

Warnings: None, just fluffy mom (y/n) enjoying her lovely family.

A/N: Mother's Day just really sent me into a Haikyuu dads brainrot and these scenarios have been stuck in my head all day. Enjoy!

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Osamu

You tried to stifle your giggles as you sat at your home’s dining room table, the sound of childish bickering and hushed laughter coming from behind the closed kitchen door. “I’ll take the plates, you take the flowers,” the voice of one of your little boys demanded. “Nuh, uh! S’ my turn to take the food, I pwomise I won’t dwop it,” the youngest of the two boys replied while you could hear your husband’s quiet snorts in the background. Your face of surprise was ready when the door swung open a few seconds later to reveal your two sons holding onto either side of a plate, your husband standing behind them keeping an eye on them and the food so it got soundly to where you sat. Osamu and you exchanged a soft smile at the sight of your two boys working together with a concentrated pout that reminded you of their father’s as they slowly brought the food over. Heart-shaped onigiris of your favorite flavor plated with sesame seeds forming a smiley face were placed in front of you, the oldest smiling proudly as he boasted about how they made them themselves. You ruffled their hair and congratulated both boys who beamed at your comment on how they were greater cooks than their father. The cook in question sharing a knowing grin with you, both aware that in reality, he had made all the bases while the kids ensembled the shapes. “Happy Mother’s Day!” The two kids hugged you tightly in your chair, climbing onto you as you hug them back, feeling your heart swell with pride at what your husband and you had created. “Happy Mother’s Day,” Osamu said as he walked over to you, his lazy smirk paired with eyes full of love as his rough hand lifted your chin to capture your lips in a kiss. “Eww get a woom!” the youngest one exclaimed, as the older one made gagging sounds, you and your husband breaking apart to share a surprised look as you both chuckled, trying to figure out where the little boy learned that, probably uncle Atsumu. That Sunday at home, as you shared lunch with your three favorite people in the world to celebrate, all you felt was warmth.

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Iwaizumi

Your eyes fluttered open at the feeling of your husband’s side of the bed being empty like it usually was early in the mornings, when he went for his run or cooked a healthy breakfast. He had kept this up even since the birth of your little girl, making it a bonding moment between them as he brought her energetic self along. Hajime knew how much effort it took to keep up with work and motherhood along with so many other things, so he loved sharing time with her daughter with the added bonus of it giving you a well-deserved rest. The sound of the bedroom door opening woke you from the gentle slumber you didn’t realize took over you to see your shirtless husband with your 8-month-old daughter babbling happily on one arm, both bathed in the warm sunlight of that beautiful Friday morning. Looking at where your daughter was reaching for before her familiar olive eyes landed on you, you were surprised to find a tray with a fruit smoothie and an omelet along with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. An amused smile appeared on your lips as you raised an eyebrow at Hajime as a form of a silent question. “Happy Mother’s Day,” he said, his voice still groggy and laced with sleep mindfully soft as to not to disturb the peace and quiet that enveloped the three of you like a spell, a love-sick smile on his face. “It’s today? Aww, thank you Haji,” you said wholeheartedly, the idea of this being the first of many years to come celebrating Mother’s Day making you teary-eyed as your husband put down the tray beside you. Giving you a peck, he hummed happily as he delicately took your daughter’s hands and waved them as he exclaimed in his baby talk voice; “happy first Mother’s Day mom, dad thought we should make it memorable.” You giggled at your husband’s antics, which nobody would guess considering his tough exterior. You and your daughter were and would always be his soft spot.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Kuroo

A huff escaped your lips at the weight of two small bodies landing on top of you on the couch, they had managed to sneak up on you as you were immersed in your laptop propped up in the table in front of you. You and your husband had taken that Tuesday afternoon off to celebrate Mother’s Day, Tetsurou going to pick up your daughter and son from school as you headed home and wait for them there. Between huffs and breathy laughs, the two kids wished you a happy Mother’s Day for a second time that day, and you managed to thank them before you felt a much heavier body pile on top of you three. “Daaad!” The eldest son groaned playfully as he tried to push of your husband who was carefully putting down part of his body weight on all of you. “You’re heavy,” your little girl whined between giggles as she tried to shield herself in your grasp. “Am I heavy or are you three just weak?” You could hear Kuroo’s knowledgeable smirk in his voice, the same one you fell in love with, as you scoffed dramatically in response. “We’re stronger than you Mr. Know-it-all,” you said in a sing-song voice as you started pushing your husband off of you, him only allowing you to when his two kids joined him. Once you had all calmed down you hugged your children and thanked them for the colorful cards and macaroni frames they put all their efforts into making at school. “My turn,” your husband exclaimed with his mouth full as he placed down his slice of cake and plopped down next to you, pulling out a small bag from behind the couch. Inside was a necklace locket, that you opened to reveal a picture of the four of you. “Tetsu, it’s beautiful, thank you,” you said as you hugged him tightly, yet you both knew you weren’t just thanking him for the thoughtful gift, but also for the wonderful life that you had created together. “No, thank you,” he replied, his tone genuine and filled with love as your kids pouted. You spent the rest of the afternoon spending quality time as a family and reassuring your two kids that their gifts were better than their father’s, who cheered them up with his “infamous” science puns, as he liked to say.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Pls I'm too soft for this😭 hmu with your thoughts and requests! <3

[sequinsmile-x]

Exhaustion

Part of the Full House series

Words: 3.4k

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy and non-graphic descriptions of a traumatic birth

Read on A03 or under the cut

Let me know what you think!

There was something wrong with her. That was the only thought that was circling around her brain on repeat. Emily was exhausted. Bone deep exhaustion that she had never experienced before, not during all her years working at the BAU, or those early days with Ian Doyle when she thought she would be caught out any second. Even when she’d had Ivy, those endless early days of motherhood with her first ever baby, she hadn’t felt like this.

Aaon kept telling her it was normal, that a new baby combined with just how traumatic Audrey’s birth had been would make her recovery drawn out. That on top of that Ivy, who had always typically been a Daddy’s Girl, was suddenly obsessed with Emily, the jealousy of having a new sibling who took so much of her mother’s attention making her cling to her. Tears and tantrums ran high whenever Emily was out of her sight, all but glued to her side at every waking hour.

She knew he was right. She had been there too when the doctor explained that it would take her weeks, potentially months, to completely recover from the birth. It had only been three weeks, still so recent that she sometimes caught Aaron looking at her like she might disappear, like he might lose her.

Emily knows he almost did.

Knowing all of that didn’t help. It didn’t stop the feeling of shame that would crawl up her spine at the frustration she would feel at never having a second alone, despite her own hesitance to ever let the girls or Jack out of her sight. She knew her own anxieties were born out of having her baby ripped off her chest only seconds after she had been placed there, things getting hazier by the second.

She felt over touched. Every nerve on edge whenever tiny hands reached out for her skin. And she was so angry at herself for it.

There was something wrong with her,

Aaron had been hesitant to go back to work, his understanding of how she felt despite her never putting it into words as clear as ever. Emily had encouraged him, knowing that they would have to go back to normal as soon as they could. When he immediately got sent away on a case, one he was now finally on the way back home from a week later, she almost regretted it.

It had been a long week. Audrey had barely been sleeping and was cluster feeding throughout the night, and Ivy wanted to be with her at every possible second. Jack was a saint, helping Emily where he could in distracting Ivy and playing with his sister. He’d even brought Emily a cup of tea at one point a couple days ago when she must have looked particularly drained. He hadn’t done it since, spooked by the way she had almost immediately burst into tears despite her assurances that it was a lovely thing to do.

Jessica had popped round the day before, sympathy on her face and a casserole in hand. Emily knew that Aaron had asked her to check in, and she was grateful for it. Jack was with Jessica today, the boy excited to spend an evening with his aunt. She had offered to take Ivy too, but the way the little girl had gripped Emily’s shirt at the suggestion had made her decline, knowing ultimately it would be worse for everyone if she had accepted.

“Mama.”

Emily turns to look at Ivy. The toddler was sitting next to her on the couch as Audrey slept in the bouncer chair just to the left of them. It was the only place she could get the baby to drift off for any period of time during the day.

“Yes, sweetheart?” She smiles at her daughter, discreetly checking the clock on the wall behind her. Aaron would be home soon, and she was almost more excited to have someone, anyone, else here with the girls than she was to see him.

“Snowman?”

Emily has to stop herself from sighing. Frozen was Ivy’s favourite movie and she had already lost track of how many times she had watched it in the last week.

“Are you sure? We could watch something else.” Emily tries to reason, her usual rule of limiting screen time very much out of the window. She knows it was fruitless when Ivy furrows her brow at her in a way Aaron always insisted was all her.

Ivy shakes her head, her dark brown and unruly curls moving as she did. “Snowman.”

“Ok. Snowman.” She grabs the remote and turns on the tv, not even remembering the last time they had a different DVD in the player.

They get part way through, Emily plotting the death of Olaf in her head as she watches, before Audrey starts to gristle. Emily reaches down to get her, wincing at the sudden movement, still healing from giving birth, as she unbuckles her and pulls her into her arms.

“You’re ok, baby.” She whispers, kissing the top of Audreys head, her dark hair matching her sisters. The newborn almost immediately starts rooting at Emily’s chest and she adjusts her shirt so she can start to feed her.

As soon as Audrey is in her arms Ivy is up against her, standing on the couch as she tries to get as close to Emily as possible.

“Ivy, Mommy just needs a bit of room ok?” She smiles at her eldest daughter, trying to maintain the gentle approach she had always taken with her. “I can cuddle you after I’ve fed her.”

“No.” Ivy says, leaning into her side. “My Mama.”

She has to stop herself from flinching as Ivy’s little hand tangles in her hair.

There was something wrong with her. _______________________

He doesn’t think he has ever been so excited to get home. He had spoken to Emily as often as possible, quick phone calls and texts exchanged to check in on his family. The moment Penelope had told him that they had a case on his first day back after Audrey’s birth his heart had dropped to his stomach.

Emily was more than capable of looking after the kids alone, he knew that, but he was worried about her. He had been worried about her since the second he was left alone in a room holding his minutes old little girl as his wife was rushed away, an emergency taking over what should have been a joyous moment. He could tell something was off, that some part of her was doubting her abilities, but she wouldn’t talk about it, smiling wryly at him whenever he told her how fantastic a mother she was.

As Aaron walks into the living room he sees his wife sitting on the couch. Their three week old in her arms as she feeds her, their 3 year old standing on the couch cushion pressed up against Emily’s side, her tiny hand wrapped in her mother’s hair as she watches her baby sister eat.

Frozen, Ivy’s favourite movie, is playing on the TV, and Aaron winces as the song about summer floats around the room, making him briefly wonder to himself if the murder of a animated snowman would be considered justifable homicide, given that their toddler demanded they watch it on repeat.

Then Emily looks up and catches his eye, exhaustion rolling off of her in waves, and he pushes any other thoughts to the back of his head.

“Hi sweetheart.”

Her response is a trembling smile, and before she can speak Ivy turns, a wide smile on her face as she looks at him.

“Daddy!”

She doesn’t run to him like she would have only weeks ago, instead staying next to Emily. He scoops her up anyway, kissing the side of his daughter's head repeatedly as she giggles.

“Daddy, stop.”

He does, laughing as he leans down to kiss the top of Emily’s head. He frowns as she flinches, readjusting Audrey as she finishes eating.

“How are my girls?” He asks, settling Ivy on his hip. “I missed you.”

“Missed, Daddy.” Ivy says, eyes focused back on the tv.

‘Oh, Frozen. Mommy’s favourite.” Aaron says, any laugh from his own joke dying in his throat when he sees the very real glare Emily throws his way as she stands with Audrey against her chest, gently rubbing the little girl's back to burp her.

“I’m going to go change her.” She says, attempting to throw him a smile before she heads upstairs.

“Mommy seems grumpy.” Aaron says turning to Ivy, bouncing the little girl slightly to make her laugh, the concern on her own face too much for him to bear.

“Drey cry lots.” Ivy explains, her expression serious.

Aaron nods and kisses his daughter's forehead, settling her back down on the couch. “You stay here ok? I’ll be back in a minute.”

He heads upstairs, following the sound of his wife’s gentle words to their baby to their bedroom.

“Em?”

She turns to look at him briefly, tears shining in her eyes that set him on edge immediately, before she looks back at Audrey in her arms, the baby settling down. Emily flinches when he touches her shoulder, pulling herself away from him and the movement makes Audrey cry again, any progress Emily had made her to calm down gone in a second.

“Damn it.”

“Sweetheart?”

“I’m ok.” She says, sounding anything but. “I just need five minutes where someone isn’t touching me.” Emily says, desperation laced through her voice. He stops himself from walking towards her, from pulling her into his arms and providing the comfort he is itching to give her. “I’m either feeding Audrey, or Ivy is clinging to me like she’ll never see me again. I love them more than I can possibly explain but...” A sob escapes her and she wipes her cheeks. “I am so tired, Aaron. I just need five minutes.”

For a second Aaron isn’t sure what to do. His fingers twitch at his sides, his natural instinct to reach out for her almost overwhelming. Emily and Audrey both crying the only sound in the room.

“Pass her over.” He says eventually, hands reaching out towards her.

“Aaron-”

He smiles at her in an attempt to reassure her. “Come on, sweetheart. You need a break.”

“I can look after my own children.” She says, accusation in her voice.

“I know you can, love.” He steps towards her, careful not to reach out for her like he so desperately wanted to. “But you need some time to yourself, you need to get some rest.”

She nods, albeit reluctantly, passing the baby over as she does, kissing the top of her head as she lets go.

“You only just got home.” She says, wiping tears from her face now that her hands were free. “I didn’t even say hi.”

Aaron holds Audrey to his chest, smiling at his wife. “That’s ok. We’ll be downstairs.” He walks out the room, gently closing the door behind him. He looks at his youngest curled up on his chest and kisses the side of her head. “Let's go see what your sister is up to.” _______________________

When Ivy suggests putting Frozen back on almost as soon as it is finished he manages to distract her. He asks her what they could do instead with only a limited amount of time left before bedtime. Her eyes light up immediately, running off to the room that used to be their den but was now a playroom. The sound of her dragging her dress up box, almost entirely stocked by Penelope, into the living room wakes up Audrey. He picks her up from her bouncer before she can cry loudly enough to disturb Emily, hoping he could give her as much time as possible.

Ivy already has her Elsa wig on, and Aaron already knows where this is going when she pulls out the Anna wig.

“Daddy Anna.”

“I think my head is a bit big.”

Ivy, not put off by her father’s logic, places the wig on top of his head anyway before grabbing some reindeer antlers he had never seen before from the box. She goes to place them on Audrey’s head. He stops her, unable to suppress a smile when she frowns. Emily’s frown.

“Sweetie, no. Audrey can’t be Sven.”

“Drey play.”

“She’s too little.” He says, putting the antlers back down. “But we can play. Just you and me.”

She has Emily’s smile too. _________________

Emily wakes up, rubbing her eyes as she looks at the clock on the nightstand, seeing she’d had about an hour's sleep. That, combined with the time to herself and the quick shower she had managed to fit in had calmed her nerves somewhat. Nowhere near all the way repaired, but enough to settle her back down.

As she sits up in bed she feels an all too familiar ache in her breasts, a sign that Audrey would need feeding again soon, and she runs her hands over her face before she gets up in search of her family.

She can hear laughter floating up the stairs, her husbands mixed in with Ivy’s, her precious giggle warming Emily’s heart as much as it did the very first time she heard it. She pads down the stairs quietly, the socks she had stolen from Aaron dulling the sound of her footsteps. Love blooms in her chest, spreading through her body at the sight that greets her.

Aaron is sitting with a childs wig on his head, one she knows Penelope bought Ivy when she offhandedly mentioned one day how much her daughter loved Frozen. It looks absurd. Tiny in comparison to his size. His sleeves are rolled up and his tie is off, the top couple of buttons of his shirt undone and she can see his jacket folded over the armchair.

She observes him for a moment as he sits patiently listening to Ivy mostly babble to herself, interest in whatever she was saying all over his face. He had Audrey against his chest, the baby looking impossibly tiny up against him, only one hand securing her to him. He was a little thicker now than he was when they first got together, something Derek gently teased him for and called his ‘dad bod’.

Emily loved it and told him frequently. She loved that his embrace engulfed her. That it made her feel safe and secure whenever she was in his arms. She knows he does the same for their children. Has watched as he has soothed nightmares and scraped knees with the calming presence only their family are truly privy to.

She smiles as Ivy passes him a stuffed animal, a dog that she was obsessed with, that had reindeer antlers secured to its head. It’s almost bigger than Audrey, and as Emily watches him with a baby and a stuffed dog in his arms, their toddler excitedly talking at him, she doesn’t think she has ever loved him more. _______________________

They settle Ivy into her bed, both knowing she will likely make it into theirs at some point in the night, and eat dinner together.

Aaron has a quick shower as Emily feeds and rocks Audrey to sleep. She had just laid her into the bassinet on her side of the bed when the door to their ensuite opened, her husband making his way out already dressed in his pajamas. Emily yawns as she climbs into bed, him quickly following. He keeps his distance from her, space between them that they don’t usually allow and she smiles tiredly at him, her words from earlier clearly still on his mind.

“Are you ok, sweetheart?” He asks, his concern for her clear.

“I’m ok, I promise.” She reaches out for his hand, linking their fingers between them. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

He squeezes her hand. “Em, you have nothing to apologise for.”

“I just…” She trails off, shaking her head at herself as tears fill her eyes. “I just don’t want you to think I don’t love them. That I don’t want this.”

“Baby, of course I don’t think that.” He says, his other hand cupping her cheek, thumbing away the tears that have escaped. “I know you love them. I’ve never doubted that for a single second.”

“I’m just so tired, Aaron.”

He finally pulls her into his arms, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding when she relaxes into his embrace, her face tucked into his neck.

“You’re being hard on yourself, my love.” He kisses the side of her head. “You had a baby 3 weeks ago. You almost died having her, remember?”

“I know.” She says, sniffing. “I know that. I was there.”

“Then give yourself a break.” He pulls back to tuck some hair behind her ear. He wants to say so much more, to assure her how good a mother she is, how much all of their kids love her, but he knows now isn’t the time. Knows her well enough to know she will assume he is simply just saying it. “We should get some sleep.” He kisses her softly. “She’ll be awake soon enough demanding your attention.” He says, tilting his head towards the bassinet.

They settle down, her facing the bassinet with her back to him. Aaron wraps his arm around her, pulling her closer so her back is pressed against his chest.

“You make a good Anna.” She quips as the image of him earlier with Ivy making her smile and it makes him laugh.

“Ivy gets more and more like you every day.” He says, pressing his lips to her temple. “I just hope she uses her attitude to run a company or something, and not a gang in prison.”

Emily reaches behind her to smack his shoulder in mock offence. “That’s rude.” She sniffs. “She’d run an excellent gang.”

She can feel herself falling asleep, the ever present exhaustion taking over.

“Em?”

She hums her response, turning her head just enough for his lips to land on her cheek.

“If you could kill Olaf how would you do it?”

She laughs. “I love you so much.”

The last thing she hears before she drifts off is him how much he loves her, how much he loves their family. _______________________

When she wakes the bed is empty, as is the bassinet and she immediately panics, fear lancing through her as she sits up quickly. She shakes off the lightheadedness caused by her sudden movement and takes a deep breath, logic taking over as she calms herself.

Emily pulls a robe on and walks downstairs, the light from the living room illuminating the hallway. She smiles when she sees Aaron sitting and holding Audrey in the crook of his arm, a bottle she had pumped earlier in the day in his hand as he fed her.

“Did I not get an invite to this party?” She asks quietly, not wanting to wake up Ivy upstairs.

Aaron turns to her and grins before looking back down at the baby. “Is Mommy allowed to join us?”

Audrey makes a small noise that makes them laugh and Emily walks over to join them on the couch.

“You could have woken me up.” She says, leaning forward to stroke a finger over Audrey’s dark hair.

“I know.” He leans forward to kiss her head. “You needed the sleep.” She opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by a door opening upstairs, and the sound of little feet down the hallway and stairs.

Emily groans slightly. “It’s like she has a radar for where I am.”

Aaron only has time to laugh in reply for Ivy is downstairs, climbing onto the couch with them and into Emily’s lap.

“What are you doing up, little miss?” Emily says, tapping the toddler on the nose, making her giggle. “You should be sleeping.”

“Snowman?”

Emily shakes her head. “No, Ivy. It’s too late to watch it now.” She pauses, and bites her lip as she suppresses a smirk. “Daddy said he’d watch it with you tomorrow though.”

The look Aaron throws at her over their daughter's head makes her laugh, and for the first time in over a week, probably since Audrey was born if she was honest with herself, she knows everything is going to be just fine.

[newtonsheffield]

Do you have and head cannons or drabbles of Anthony helping Benedict when he learns Sophie is pregnant before the wedding? And the Bridgerton boys just being Dads 🥰

Ahh okay we have Dadthony whom we know and love, now introducing Benedad and ladies, aren’t we thrilled to have him?!

Anthony had turned to his very smug looking wife halfway through his brother's wedding reception and said are you going to tell me what you're so smug about tonight? Kate. had scoffed and waved him off but he'd persisted as he watched Kate's eyes track Benedict and his new wife Sophie across the dance floor. The fourth time he'd asked her she'd tutted loudly pulled him in close and said For Fuck’s sake Anthony, Sophie’s obviously pregnant. Anthony’s head and shot towards his new sister in law who was radiating happiness as she spoke with Hyacinth, Benedict watching proudly behind her, his hand resting just so on her waist so that it curled protectively onto her still flat stomach. Anthony recognised it immediately for what it was. He’d done it twice himself when he and Kate were glowing with the secret pride of impending parenthood. He wasn’t even aware of leaving Kate, his feet propelling him forward, and before he knew it he had his brother wrapped in a tight embrace whispering Congratulations Ben, Dad would be so proud of you. When he pulled back, Benedict turned towards Sophie who looked a little bewildered and pulled her in as well whispering Thank you for making him so happy. Hyacinth tutted calling out Kate can you come and get your lunatic please?

Benedict had been near frantic ever since Sophie had told him she was pregnant. Sophie had been a staunchly independent person her entire life out of necessity and she had found it a little difficult at times, to accept his help when offered. And Benedict wanted to help, desperately wanted to take every burden from her shoulders so that she’d never have to struggle with anything again. He’d had it been there for her in her early life so he would be here now. He would be the father she had longed for herself as a child, for their children. This would be the life she had always dreamed. Unfortunately for Ben, it seemed that Sophie was completely unencumbered by pregnancy. He shouldn’t have been surprised, she was the most nurturing person he knew, of course motherhood suited her down to the ground. She had none of the morning sickness that had plagued Daphne and Kate, nothing. She just radiated happiness and warmth like a beacon. But that didn’t stop him from hovering anxiously around her, Nervously asking if she was sure she could manage work for today? Would she like him to pick her up from work, the underground wasn’t safe. Eventually it seemed he had run aground of even Sophie’s endless patience Ben, Honey, I need you to calm down. She said in her even, measured voice that always set him instantly at ease. He’d sighed I just worry about you Soph, and the little bean. She’d smiled softly and said I know, and I love you for it, but honestly you’re driving me a little insane. Which was the closest thing to critical his kind wife could likely manage Kate said Anthony was taking the boys to the park today, why don’t you go with them?

Kate had opened the door with a sigh 30 minutes later, Sophie said she was sending you out of the house. A little smirk growing on her lips. Seconds later Benedict felt something knock into his legs with a screech of Uncle Ben! Benedict knelt and lifted Edmund from the ground tossing his up in the air to his delight. Anthony came down the stairs, Miles resting on his hip, saying in a mock whisper Here’s Uncle Ben Miles, Auntie Sophie’s kicked him out for being such a pest. Benedict rolled his eyes at his brother, as Kate said I’m not sure what you’re laughing about Anthony, you were so unbearable it’s a miracle our children have a father. Benedict felt a little smug as Anthony’s face dropped into a scowl. 45 minutes later he and Anthony were strolling through Hyde park, Edmund on a bicycle, the handle of which held firmly in Anthony’s hand as the pedals swung unused, Miles strapped to his front in a baby carrier. Benedict watched his brother happily, his heart glad. I’m really happy for you, Ant. You’re so happy with your family it’s just nice to see. Anthony had grinned broadly, looking more carefree than Ben had ever seen him and said, shrugging I feel like this is what I was meant to do. Be there for Kate, look after our Kids. It makes me so unbelievably happy. But really though, don’t listen to Sophie, you hover as much as you like! That’s what we Dad’s do. Hover in case we’re needed. And without even looking down, Anthony’s hand shot out and caught Miles’ dropped toy.

Benedict had very nervously strapped his month old son Charlie into his car seat that first Saturday morning. Sophie had been absolutely exhausted, trying to care for their son, even with Benedict’s flexible work schedule. And she’d said Why don’t you take Charlie out, Honey? Like an unsaid plea. Benedict had nodded though he’d bit his lip, anxiety gnawing in his stomach, what if he did something wrong? What if something happened. But he’d called Anthony who’d been more than willing to join him. They strode through the park with renewed purpose, chatting happily, Charlie strapped to his front and suddenly all of his worries floated away. Anthony cleared his throat and said a little gruffly, We might have a few more member’s of our little club soon. Benedict had looked up questioningly and Anthony had said, with a blinding grin Kate’s pregnant. Benedict’s heart had leapt with happiness for his brother who couldn’t have looked any prouder if he tried. Benedict looked up and said Are we still pretending we don’t know Lucy’s pregnant? Anthony sighed, Yes but Greg should be joining us soon so fingers crossed he spills the beans.

This got really long! My bad!

[kkeidawrites]

That Night

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Loki x African!goddess reader

I see that there is not a lot of Loki x reader stories which I think is weird, so I decided to write a couple of my own. And nobody is gone stop me either. So enjoy this first chapter to an upcoming mini series!

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A party was perhaps always being held in Asgard. Whether it was Thor returning home, another battle won, or Hell they had a party just because. It was quite a bore with the constant partying and the people that would attend made things even more boring.

The dancers would shake their hips the same way and the dishes the servants would serve were always be the same. Nothing was new. Nothing peaked my interest.

The whispers about me never ceased, being the adopted son of Odin, the infamous Loki, God of Mischief, still chasing his father’s tailcoats for the throne. Loki, the forgotten son. The son with no legacy. Bah, it was all the same. I should turn everyone here in the hall into gremlins.

I sat on a plush sofa, pretty much on my own, since nobody would want to sit by the trickster Loki. It’s fine, not like I had that many friends anyway.

A jester preformed a trick making the crowds express gasps of excitement and claps rang out in the hall. I rolled my eyes, I will never understand how people can be so interested in this.

I did not want to attend this worthless banquet in the first place, but my mother bless her soul, is a very persuasive woman and I unfortunately fall for it every time. Now, here I was, dressed in green almost black robes and armor that had some pieces of gold imbedded into it.

Swirling the wine in my cup, the familiar sound of heels clacking against the polished marbled floor made my eyes look up.

The black dress reminded me of the stars in the galaxy, it caressed her dark skin and hugged all the curves on her figure. Her hair coily and I bet if I had the chance to touch it it would be as soft as a lamb’s wool. It covered the side of her face and I didn’t have the chance to get a good look at her, but, just from how she carried herself, I knew she had to be beautiful. Probably for the best I didn’t see what she looked like, who would turn their interests on the God of Mischief? She held her head up high as if she were the queen of Asgard herself.

As she walked into the banquet hall, her pace was quick as she approached my mother who was standing with her normal group of nobles and who in turn brought the beauty in a warm embrace. She smiled in greeting to the woman as she spoke to my mother. The way they spoke made it seem like they have known each other for years.

Taking a swig of my wine, I averted my eyes elsewhere. She was probably another noble that was only here to attend the banquet then return to wherever she had came from to brag about her time on Asgard. There were many of Gods and Goddesses who took advantage of our kingdom to try and take over. I scoffed at the thought, every time that someone would try and take Asgard would only return to their realm in pieces, how others think so little of Asgard when we indeed are the best.

The clacking of heels broke me from my thoughts and my mother calling my name made me look up to see both my mother and the mysterious woman. Damnit, I hated being right, she wasn’t just beautiful, she was gorgeous. A vision. I gulped at how beautiful she was and I saw my mother flick her wrist up to tell me to stand up and present myself. I stood up from the couch fixing the front of my robes.

I looked her over, shamelessly and my eyes lingered on her chest until my mother cleared her throat to avert my eyes to hers. She tilted her head towards the woman and I cleared my throat, placing a hand on my chest to bow my head in greeting.

“Good evening mother, as always you are the most beautiful in all of Asgard.” I say. My mother waves away my compliment, bashful of my words and puts a hand on the woman’s arm.

“This is Mawu, she is the Goddess of the night, of joy, and of motherhood as well as the ruler of Midgard’s wisdom and knowledge. You have met her mother, Nana Buluku a couple of times.” Frigga says.

I roll my eyes at that. I had met that woman thousands of years ago, I cannot remember what she looked like. The beauty, Mawu, looks me over then raises an eyebrow at me.

“He is your son?” She turns to mother.

“Yes, my youngest,” Frigga says with pride in her voice and I can’t help but, give a small smile.

“Mm, he is tiny.” She looks me over one more time.

“Need to eat something, these fruits and cheeses are not enough to help him grow.” She states and I became baffled at her declaration making my mother laugh and I frowned in annoyance. What is it with women and wanting their men big and muscled? I am plenty strong with my lean figure.

“Allow me to take him back to my realm and he will return with a stronger body,” Mawu tells mother. Frigga waves her hand in my direction.

“I tell him to eat more but, he only nibbles on the food we offer him.” She sighs and I roll my eyes once more, taking a large sip of my wine then using my magic to make my cup disappear.

“Mother, did you bring your friend over here just to spite me?” I asked her, putting my hands behind my back and a clench in my jaw.

“No, of course not, my love,” she smiles and then moved Mawu closer to my person. The woman took a few steps away from me.

“I wanted you two,” Frigga points between us as she continues, “to get to know each other better.” She says making both of our heads turn to look at one another in shock then back to Frigga’s grinning face.

“You cannot be serious.” I say as Mawu crosses her arms.

“Quite serious my son, Mawu will be staying here for a couple of weeks as her mother has asked me to oh, how do the midgardians phrase it? Ah, yes “get her ass out of the house”. And so, she will be staying in the royal quarters for the time being and I want the two of you,” she points between us again. “To get to know each other better. Have a pleasant evening.” Frigga finishes and turns to return back to her group of allies. Mawu scoffs in disbelief and leaves my side to leave through where she came in.

Subconsciously, I followed after her, her heels clicking quickly against the floor, she was clearly upset. She wasn’t the only one upset. Get to know me better? Just what is mother planning? And why was I following her?

Mawu’s POV

I had stopped in the middle of the long hallways of Odin’s castle and turned my head to an open door where a balcony was located. I laid my hands on the balustrade and looked at the cotten candy skyline, as it slowly turned to night. Here on Asgard was hard to tell if it was night or not, they had no moon to go off of and the stars that were apparent determined different coordinates.

I sighed and leaned my arms against the balustrade leaning my head on my wrists. A couple weeks of being in this realm will be challenging. I’m not used to taking such long breaks like this, I just hoped that the Earth will still be there for me when I return.

I was set up. Mother told me that it had been a while since I last been to Asgard, to see Lady Frigga especially and she thought that a visit would be nice. How easily I was tricked by her and Lady Frigga. Don’t get me wrong I loved Lady Frigga as a second mother, but, the thought of having to trick me into staying here for a long duration of time really unsettled me.

Sighing once more, I closed my eyes as I felt the wind blow into my face. The breeze blowing against my hair that resembled a cloud. Using my powers, I conjured up a small ball of light that allowed me to see the children of Earth. It was a particular group of children that I had been watching over for a while. Perhaps from their great grandparents up until the new generation, I think I’ve lost count.

I watched as all the children played and the adults that I once looked after when they were children tended to their own brood. I smiled sadly. These children were my children. Even if I didn’t birth them, they were mine. A child, a little boy named Abioye, smiled and I felt my bottom lip quiver.

Swiping away the image, I felt a few tears rush down my cheeks. Quickly wiping them away, I took a deep breath and then looked down at my shoes. They were beautiful but, so constricting, I pulled them off my feet and stretched my toes, sighing in bliss.

“Lady Mawu,” I looked up to see a male guard bowing before me. I straightened my back to address him.

“Yes,”

“Your quarters are ready for you.” He says. Nodding, I allowed him to lead me to my room. Peaking a look over my shoulder, I noticed a familiar pair of green eyes watching me. With a ‘hmph’ I turned my eyes forward and continued to follow the guard.

With Loki

That insufferable woman dare turn her nose up at me?! I scoffed in disbelief and used my powers to return to my mother in the banquet hall. Kissing her goodnight, I walked out another exit to my chambers.

Once I arrived at my room, I noticed the guard that guided the Goddess to her quarters and stretched my neck to see that he was leaving from the room right next to mine.

“You there!” I halt the guard as he immediately stopped and bowed to me.

“Did you just lead that moon Goddess into the room next to mines?” I ask.

“Yes, your majesty, it was specific instructions that your mother gave.” He says and I groan out in annoyance.

“Your majesty?”

“Begone. I have no more use of you.” I spat and the guard bows again, quickly leaving my sight.

Looking towards the closed door, I put my hands on my hips and nodded my head then entered my room with a slam to the doors.

Plopping down onto my bed, I placed my hands behind my head and sighed deeply. Mother was making things so difficult. What purpose did she need to give me someone to...bond with? I have managed to be on my own before what’s different now?

Sniff, sniff

Sob, whimper

I heard soft crying from the wall behind me and I got up from my bed and moved to the nearest wall, placing an ear towards it, to hear indeed crying on the other side.

I don’t know what it was but, her crying made my heart break a bit. Sighing, I removed myself from the wall and plopped back down onto my bed. Her sobs were slowly growing louder and I gritted my teeth.

Waving my hand, I allowed a small bunny to appear in my palm and allowed it to phase through the wall, I waited in anticipation of the small...I guess I will call it a gift.

With Mawu

She had changed into her silk nightgown and immediately her tears returned.

The sobs continued to fall from her lips as she laid across the large bed. Why she was crying? Unfortunately, Mawu has separation anxiety and the thought that she can’t be close to her ‘children’ broke her heart. Sniffling, she raised her head from the cradle of her arms and jumped when she saw a black lump sitting in front of her.

The large floppy ears twitched slightly as the pink nose sniffed. Sitting up, she got a closer look at the small being and she realized that it was indeed a black rabbit.

“Hello, there,” she coos as she reached a hand out to the rabbit. The cotton tailed furry snuggled into her awaiting hand and Mawu giggled at the feel of it’s nose.

“Where did you come from?” She asks as she picks up the rabbit and holds it in her lap. She scratched under its chin and felt the thump of the rabbits right foot popping her thigh in delight.

“I think I’ll call you, Irawo.” She tells the rabbit who thumps its right foot again in delight.

Giggling again, Mawu allowed the rabbit to play around on her bed and then caressed its head, liking the soft fur.

With Loki

The God of Mischief allowed a small grin to appear on his lips as he listened to the Moon Goddess’s giggles.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

######################{##{#{##{#{#{##

End of Ch.1

Ch. 2⬅️

Ch. 3⬅️

What is up with tumblr and other places where Loki doesn’t have a lot of fanfics? I don’t understand he just as fine as Thor. But, anyway, I hope you guys like this first chapter to this mini story I’m hooking y’all up with! I love me some Loki so be sure to expect more of him and a black reader as well! Thank you all for reading and be sure to like, comment and reblog!

[sopafa]

Paraplegic Douxie! P3

Previous part / Next one

Douxie started drowning.

It was past lunchtime and Archie was alone in the room without a soul around to do something. He familiar was down asleep when he felt it, the body on where he was resting started moving and some gags were produced by his human troat. Archibald woke immediately, and the horror surrounded him when he saw Douxie, with his eyes still closed drowning in front of your eyes.

Some muscular spams moved his abdomen, and the tube inside his mouth made difficult his breathing. Archie didn't think it twice and punched the bottom of the wall to call for assistance, the dragon did everything to stay calm while his familiar couldn't breathe, and with some tears in his eyes, he screamed with all the force of his longs to Barbara, hoping that she could do something.

It was a matter of seconds for a couple of doctors to rush into the room, that Archie barely had time to hide behind the door.

On the nurse halfway, Barbara was talking with her son and the trollhunters team about the situation. It has been four days, and yet the wizard hadn't woke. That's when he heard the commotion and turned around to see her partners running into Douxie's room. Jim saw the color drown from his mother's face and before giving him time to react, she was already running to the Wizard's habitation.

"Oh, no..." Was everything that Jim said.

====

The intubation was the worst thing that Douxie had ever experienced. He couldn't breathe, his head was spinning, and his body felt dizzy, his eyelids felt like he had a pair of weights dangling from, and then nausea.

Luckily, some good soul removed the tube from his trachea, so he was able to breathe again. The bad part is that his body had tried to expulse the tube by himself, so the accumulation of gags did their work and, before he even knew it, he was already cover in vomit.

His body retched making his abdomen hurt, but Douxie had no strength to even move his face to avoid slop more liquid over him. A pair of hands ran fast to his face to clean him right away. Douxie made his major effort to look at them, but he was so tired, that a simple hum was the only he achieved babble before starting throwing up again.

He felt miserable, he didn't want that anybody saw him like this. He felt shame, he had probably stained the person next to him with his body fluids and he wasn't even able to look at them in the eyes.

"It's okay- it's okay." A soft voice said just on his side. It was comforting and calm.

A wet towel was gently pressed on his face and began to wipe him, while more relaxing comments were spoken by that calming voice. He tried to look again, it took him a couple of minutes, and an insane amount of will, to finally open his eyes, but after a few fail tries, he finally succeeded. That hair and that eyes could only belong to one person.

Ms. Lake, he tried to pronounce, but the only thing that came out of him was a groan.

As he expected, the bedsheets and part of Ms. Lake's uniform were covered in puke, but the doctor didn't seem to care, she was still looking at him with that warm smile.

"How are you feeling?" Barbara removed some hair from his face. "You had a long surgery, and it looks that the anesthesia didn't make you feel very well".

"'R-" The wizard tried to call for his familiar.

"He's okay. He's in here, like the rest."

Douxie fought to not close his eyes.

Maybe he was exhausted, maybe it was the drugs, but he could not keep himself awake for more time.

Once the doctors were out of the room, and only the Trollhunter's mother and the familiar were in, they share a warm smile in silence. The beeps of the monitors and the numbers on the screen showed that Douxie was stable, and his heart race was normal.

"He is going to be fine." Barbara said petting the cat.

He is going to be fine.

====

"Douxie's body was rejecting the intubation" Barb explained to the team a couple of hours later.

"That's something bad?" Toby was afraid to ask, but nobody else had the courage to.

Instead of bad news, a smile grown on the woman's lips before she started talking again.

"Actually, it's completely the opposite, Tobias. When the body rejects the help of the breathing tube, is because it can do it alone, so the tube isn't helping anymore, and it's treated as an intruder. We kept the tube to compensate for the right lung collapse, Douxie's lungs needed help doing their work, but it seems that they are doing better know"

"So, he is fine now?" Steve questioned with hope.

Barbara shook his head "He is better, but he still needs time".

====

When Douxie woke up for the second time, two days after, the analgesics were almost done. The sheets of the bed, as his gown, had been changed, at least, and his low groans captured the attention of both medics that were talking in the room.

Barbara rushed to his side and took his hand. With her motherhood aura, she looked at him and asked:

"How are you feeling?".

It took a moment for to Douxie realize where he was, and still, he tried to sit up. A big mistake, because of the moment he moved, his chest ached like hell. With a low groan, he put a hand to the place that hurt while Barbara helped him to lie down.

"Easy," She said before he tried to straighten again. "You have 3 broken ribs and had a collapsed lung. You really scared the guys out there" The second doctor -a male that Douxie didn't even care to read his name- stayed on his place a few steps of the door.

Hisirdoux didn't even try to move anymore. Instead, he sighed and asked how the rest was doing. Barbara rolled her eyes before telling him "They are fine, they had already received medical assistance, no one else is hurt... bad hurt" she corrected herself, and told him that he has been asleep for almost six days.

Douxie did not know how to react.

On a hand, it was not the first time he slept for days after a fight. On the other, it was the first time that that happened to him after meeting the Guardians of Arcadia, and he hasn't had the opportunity to tell them that fact.

Douxie disconnected himself for a moment, thinking about that. Should he told the rest that it didn't matter and was a collateral effect of using a lot of his magic? Or- wait, had he used a lot of magic on the battle? He didn't remember.

Hisirdoux sank deeper into his thoughts before he realized it. It was something simple, almost imperceptible, but he tried to accommodate under the sheets. The problem was that he couldn't.

He looked at his feet.

Barbara notices that and removed her hand from Douxie's. The redhaired ma'am looked concerned to her companion, both medics shared a serious look. But Douxie didn't even realize it.

The wizard was still looking at the blanket, there was something off.

He tried to move his fingers, but nothing.

His feet, same.

Slowly the color of his face faded, and his breathing started cracking.

His hands became fists.

"Douxie..." Barbaria tried to start.

"I- I don't" Jim's mother's heartbreak with the boy's voice. "I don't feel my legs"

Hisirdoux looked at Barbara with fear and terror in his eyes, she could see his body shaking and his voice hung by a thread.

Barbara didn't knew how to told him. She was supposed to be the one that told him the truth, but at that moment, she couldn't do it. She tried to act professional, and serious, but she couldn't because in front of her eyes there were nothing more than a poor scared child with no family, holding his sobs and asking her for help, because he couldn't feel his legs.

"Hisirdoux" Dr. Velazques approached the bed. "You suffered a very complicated accident. You fell for over 100 feets, to a car's hood. On the impact, you broke 3 ribs that occasionated the lung collapse. Also, you have some other injuries caused by the same fall, like a twisted wrist, a slight concussion, and a fracture on your spinal discs."

"A fracture? So it is not broken?" Velazques nodded, a sigh of relief was expulsed by Douxie's mouth.

"Unfortunately-" The blue-haired man looked at the doctor again. "A fracture on that zone causes irremediable damage to the nervous system. Your spinal cord was compromised, and we had to make surgery to stabilize it."

"It is fine now, right?"

"After we embed metallic bars to your spine. Yeah."

"But, why I can't feel my-"

Barbara took Douxie's hand.

"I do not think that you are understanding. Hisirdoux, we can't fix the damage to the nervous system. Your legs, hips, everything from the L5-down is paralyzed. The fall had caused you something that we call Paraplegia"

"What?-" He squeezed her hand.

"Douxie-"

"Even with rehabilitation, there is no guarantee that you would be able to walk after". Hisirdoux's heart broke.

The wizard would never walk again.

[hiccstrxd]

Heaven is you

This was an idea i had for Rayla's birthday and the outline seemed too wholesome to not do it lol. It has family feels and rayllum being soft as always. Read it on ao3.

Summary: Rayla always remembers her past birthdays with fondness. But this one in particular has brought her an abundant amount of joy, filling her heart with the purest of loves.

Or a recollection of Rayla’s birthdays through the years.

i.

Rayla always remembers her past birthdays with fondness.

She recalls being four and waking up to her mum’s soft voice in her ear, a happy birthday, my love being lovingly murmured in the air. She would pretend that she was asleep, cracking one eye open from time to time and doing her best to contain in her laughter as her mother would start to rub her hair soothingly to wake her up. But she would burst into a fit of giggles before her mum could say anything else — even though Rayla is pretty sure she saw past her flimsy excuse of a stoic facade — and her mother would start to laugh alongside her, tickling her belly and asking her when has her little moonbeam gotten this sneaky.

She hadn’t, obviously.

She’d scoop her in her arms and they would go downstairs where her dad would be cooking her favorite breakfast — he’d always go all out when it was her birthday. And he’d see them still laughing as they approached, he’d see them — his two favorite people ever — and he’d come up to them, lifting her in his arms and making her laugh, telling her that today she chose what they would do because today was all hers. Because he’d move earth and sky for his tiny warrior.

And she remembers the glimmer in her mum’s eyes, her father’s beaming smile, her own expression mirroring theirs; she remembers feeling loved, safe, and content.

ii.

Rayla recalls being eleven and coming back after nearly an entire day of training to a cake on the dining table, a sole candle lit on its center, and a neatly folded paper resting beside it. It was rather late, her whole body ached as the practice had been a vigorous one, but upon seeing the homemade gateau she no longer felt the ever consuming exhaustion. No, she felt lighter, more at ease.

Ethari had been sporting the warmest of smiles, his eyes showing every bit of love towards his foster daughter who they had come to care for as their own. Runaan had walked over to where his husband was and stood right next to him, somehow matching his emotion almost instantly — he had been sort of tense before leaving the meadow — and they had wished her the happiest of birthdays, holding her tightly in their embrace, muttering words of comfort and pride and love.

She remembers thinking that there was still a void in her heart as the aftermath of her parents’ absence, but being there surrounded by her two guardians that loved her an abundant amount and whom she loved as much in return, that showed her day after day their support and their care was enough to bring her solace.

She had felt love all the same.

And she always looked forward to reading her parents’ letter at the end of the end. The words were like a warm hug from afar. She became misty-eyed and held the letter close to her heart for hours as if she was keeping her parents in a safe place near her heart.

iii.

She recalls being sixteen and sitting alone in the Xadian forest. She had been wounded and restless, tired and alone. Everywhere and everything hurt, but ironically she had felt numb from head to toe. Somewhere in the back of her mind she vaguely remembered what that day was supposed to be.

And the bittersweet afterthought made matters worse because then the pang in her chest was just a little too hard to ignore.

Rayla had felt cold and empty, being alone with her thoughts was as harmful as it sounded and the unbecoming urge to cry was getting hard to suppress. But she ended up shedding tears, letting them fall freely as they have been welling up and contained in since much too long ago.

It was her birthday, and she had tried to forget it, making herself not feel, perhaps then the pain would subdue.

It hadn’t.

iv.

It was her birthday and she couldn’t get the royal physician’s words out of her head. They were spinning, echoing, repeating themselves. And she felt equal amounts of excitement and trepidation all at once.

Congratulations Your Highness, you’re with child.

They have been trying, of course, they have, so the news shouldn’t be such a surprise to hear that their efforts had actually turned out fructiferous. But they have, and she didn’t know how to assimilate them without cutting the appointment short and leaving a very confused physician behind, one who was patiently waiting for a reaction out of her.

Because she was excited and elated and so beyond happy that it was taking a lot of willpower to remain seated and not run off to find Callum.

“Your Highness? Is everything all right?”

She blinked, “Of course.” Rayla offered them a smile. How could it not be, honestly?

And after a couple of recommendations and how they’d like to see her in the span of a few weeks — after all, the babe was still a halfling and the pregnancy was to be monitored constantly for that matter — they bid her goodbye with another well-meaning congratulation on the way.

Rayla couldn’t help the fast pace in which she was walking nor the beaming smile from breaking out.

“Oh, there you are! I’ve been looking nonstop for you. What did the physician say?” She heard Callum’s voice round the corner; the worried tone of her husband of three years was enough to make her smile deepened because he was just the sweetest person ever and she just knows that he’s going to be the best father out there.

And the mere thought was enough to make her heart burst with adoration.

He took a couple of steps forward and placed one hand on her cheek, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth, “Are you all right?”

“I’m pregnant.”

The words left her mouth before she had time to catch herself, before she had any time to dwell on how to tell him, but after they were out, she knows that there was no better way, no better time. Because seeing those expressive, loving eyes widen in realization, going through every emotion in the span of a second, how his hand stilled its movement on her cheek and how she heard his breath catch in his throat was as heartwarming as if she’d had outlined a grander plan in advance to break the big news to him.

“Really?” He whispered, barely audible.

She hummed.

“You are pregnant?”

She hummed again.

“There’ll be a tiny, perfect mix of the both of us in a couple of months?”

Rayla nodded unable to keep the grin off her face, her arms coming upwards to lace them loosely around his neck and raising herself on her tiptoes to breath small kisses across his cheek — damn those two inches he had gained on her. Their chests were pressed together, and she felt the deep rumble in his chest that soon turned into a peal of boisterous laughter that surely could be heard through the entire hallway. The sound was too contagious to not let out one of her own.

His arms came to encircle her waist, engulfing her in a tight hug, both of them shaking with laughter and happiness and pure delight.

“We’re having a baby.”

“We are.”

They pulled back slightly, faces inches away from each other’s, noses brushing against one another, breaths mingling in their shared space. She wanted to capture this blissful moment in a picture.

And then his lips slowly curved into a smug grin.

“Don’t.” Rayla raised a single brow, looking pointedly at him because she knew where his mind had headed in a matter of seconds. And because she also remembers rather vividly exactly what he had thought about — it had been a very nice anniversary gift, after all. It had carried the promise of fervent love, a burning passion, and a couple’s desire of at last starting a family.

He let out an amused laugh, “I didn’t even say anything!”

“You didn’t have to, I practically saw you thinking about it!” She rolled her eyes playfully and crossed her arms over her chest, letting out a huff in faux disbelief at her husband’s antics. They locked gazes, grass green meeting amethyst violet, a glimmer in both of them. They couldn’t help the small laugh thereafter.

His eyes softened as the laughter ceased, pulling her closer by the waist and planting one tender kiss on the lips, feeling all the love conveyed in such a small action and trying to reciprocate as much as she was receiving.

“I love you.” She said lovingly when they parted, her hands coming up to cup his jaw in a light grasp.

He brought one hand to his lips, kissing the underside softly, “I adore you.”

Rayla knows that it wouldn’t be easy, parenting — motherhood— never was as the rising self-doubts, the exhaustion of both mind and body, the anxiety of diving into the unknown, and all the possible mistakes that were bound to be made. But, she thinks, as long as they have each other — and everyone else who has been there for that matter — this baby would be raised with abundant love and affection. She'd make sure of it.

It was superfluous to say that this birthday by far had brought her one of her greatest joys. A surprise that couldn’t be topped by any other.

[primasveraas-writing]

As Family Does - SWR

In snippets, Hera experiences the ups and downs of motherhood, and all the wonderful relationships her son has with family near and so very far away.

WORD COUNT: 2206

XXX

Kanan

A sharp, desperate cry, and Hera’s world changed forever.

Jacen Syndulla was a testament to his parents’ strength long before he came into the world. He emerged bloodied, during battle and war, but the galaxy suddenly recentered itself around this tiny, helpless being.

Hera should have been used to this kind of change by now- in less than a year, her whole life had been broken and reformed in more ways than she could count.

And yet- so much of it was good, Hera thought, as the squirming baby was placed on her chest. This love she felt was so familiar, after carrying her son for 9 months, after loving his father, after being family and foster mother to Ezra and Sabine. She felt it in every cell of her body, so much that it was hard to breathe.

“You did it, Hera,” Zeb said, sounding rather choked up. Hera nodded, numb to the rest of the galaxy, save for her child in her arms, and realized that there were hot tears on her face. She sobbed, her whole body convulsing, and that hurt, but she didn’t care. She’d faced greater pain and been awarded less joy at the end of it all.

The baby wailed again, and Hera gasped- the boy’s eyes had flown open, revealing a clear, vibrant blue. His skin was tinted green and his features were already sharp, sure hallmarks of his mother’s identity but his eyes- they were Kanan’s eyes.

She never thought she’d see them again, and she sobbed harder. Even with the hormone changes that came with pregnancy, it had been a long time since Hera had cried this much. She felt Zeb’s hand on her shoulder and the love in the air. She cried tears of happiness, as new parents do, and tears of sorrow because Kanan wasn’t there to meet his son, nor Ezra to meet his baby brother.

But still- she knew Kanan loved her and he loved their son. She knew Ezra would too, when he came home. Their love was still with her, even if they were not.

That would be enough for now. Hera had her son and her beloved’s eyes, and the love needed to carry her through this and darker days.

Chopper

Hera knew- despite her avoidance of the fact- that Jacen couldn’t stay with her forever. She wasn’t the only one in the Rebellion with a young child, but she was the only general with a newborn. Somewhere in the galaxy, there had to be a safe place for her son, and she would find it. But for now, she kept him the best she could, even if it would only be for the first months of his life.

The fear and the exhaustion of war were heightened by bringing an infant into it. They threatened Hera in her lowest moments, but then there was Zeb, putting Jacen back to sleep in the middle of the night before she could get out of bed, or Kallus quietly filling out her rising piles of paperwork when she was too busy or too tired to do it herself.

It was okay- a new challenge, a new routine, and an ever-constant show of their resilience. She witnessed love and community in all parts of her life, from her kid pilots offering to babysit, to the Organas sharing some old baby toys and clothes. Even the most unlikely of figures rallied around her, and for that, Hera was grateful. Sometimes, she would even have time to herself.

One of these calm afternoons was spent completing mission reports while Jacen slept, which Hera boldly presumed would last long enough for her to catch up on everything she had to do. As soon as she dared to hope this, however, a mechanical whirr indicated the presence of Chopper- and serenity rarely, if ever, followed him.

Where is the new one? He asked, disregarding the fact that Hera was very clearly busy.

“The new one- you mean Jacen?”

He’s new. Her droid was very matter-of-fact about this statement.

“He’s a baby, Chop,” Hera amended, and the astromech beside her warbled in disagreement.

He has not been around very long. He has not done many things either. Therefore, he is new.

“Whatever you say.”

Chopper didn’t humor her further, only groaned in complaint, and waited for a response. Hera rolled her eyes, but obliged. “He’s down for his afternoon nap. Same as yesterday. Why?”

She received no reply, other than a broken lament that the little one took too long to recharge, then her oldest companion rolled off and out of sight. Hera sighed and turned back to her work.

Later, Hera glanced at the chrono and readied herself for her son’s cries, but the Ghost remained silent and lonely. She crept down the room towards the pilot’s quarters, the door still open so that she might reach Jacen faster. Perhaps she would find him still asleep, and she could clean or shower with the extra few minutes to herself.

She instead discovered her baby wriggling happy on his cot, Chopper looming over him. One of his mechanical arms was extended, dangling Jacen’s favorite tooka in front of him. Chopper made gentle sounds, and Jacen grinned up at him.

So Chopper had a heart, beyond the occasional moment of mercy. Hera hid her mouth with her hand, ignoring the wetness in her eyes, and watched the scene from the doorway.

Zeb

It might not have been fair to blame a baby for picking favorites before he could talk, but Hera still shook her head as Zeb passed back Jacen, who wailed the second he left the Lasat’s arms. Zeb chuckled at the reaction, scratching at the back of his neck, but shrunk instantly at Hera’s glare

“Aw, com’on,” Zeb tried while Jacen furiously kicked against Hera. “He doesn’t mean anything by it. Nobody holds a candle to ya, Hera.” He finished the statement rather ungracefully, as Hera relinquished Jacen, plopping him back in Zeb’s arms. As soon as she did, Jacen giggled, clutching at Zeb’s fur and gurgling happily, his woes entirely forgotten.

“You’d think he’d be a little more grateful to the one who feeds him,” Hera said dryly, regarding Jacen with her hands on her hips. Zeb shrugged, looking vaguely sheepish.

“I’m just softer than ya, that’s all,” Zeb assured her, snuggling Jacen against his chest. When Hera raised an eyebrow at him, he laughed in surprise.

“Lasat kits like to sleep on their parents,” he explained, “but some of us like to say that they prefer the Lasat with the longest and softest fur.”

“Well, you certainly have me beat there,” Hera conceded, and Zem hummed in agreement, rocking Jacen in his arms. He babbled cheerfully, and Zeb laughed again. “Maybe nobody holds a candle to Uncle Zeb, either,” she said, her tone hushed, and Zeb froze. “We’re both lucky to have you.”

Zeb didn’t say anything for a long moment, then he shifted Jacen to one side and slung his free arm around Hera’s shoulders. She leaned into the embrace, and Zeb pulled her closer.

“We’re family,” he said gruffly, his voice suspiciously thick. “Of course I’ll take care of you both.”

The admonition sent warmth flooding through Hera’s chest, and she sniffed. That was what she’d count on through it all- her family and their love, unfaltering.

Sabine

Each of Jacen’s milestones- his first smile and wave and babble of a word- came with the reminder that Kanan wasn’t there to witness them too. Her son had just started to lift his own head when the anniversary of his father’s death passed, and Hera realized with grief weighing on her heart that even the idea of Kanan would be unfamiliar to Jacen for the first years of his life.

Her sorrow at the fact that “Dada” wouldn’t be among Jacen’s collection of first words (which included “Mama,” “ship,” “no!” and “Chop”) was expressed to Sabine during an exhausted and teary conversation. Together, they concluded that Kanan would have made a great dad, if he didn’t collapse from the stress while doing it, and the two women held each other until the talk turned back to recollecting fond memories at laughter at what once was.

In one of the biggest shocks of Hera’s life, the grief became lighter and easier to carry. She knew it would never leave her, but at least she didn’t bear it alone.

When Jacen turned one, she declared it a happy occasion and resolved not to spend too long dwelling on those not present to celebrate with them. There were still wistful smiles and comforting hugs, but as luck would have it, she had Zeb, Alexsandr, Rex, and Sabine all with her to mark the occasion, and that was a happy blessing on its own.

Jacen destroyed the small cake Alexsandr had made for him with pudgy fists, smearing it all over his face and onesie. Hera laughed, trying not to think of the possibility of finding uneaten food in Jacen’s diaper again, and their small family celebrated, and it was good.

They exchanged presents before everyone had to return to their respective duties. Mother and son received a collection of toys and bigger clothes, and Hera was even gifted a nice bottle of wine for her to enjoy after surviving a year of motherhood.

At the end, when it was just her and Sabine sweeping crumbs off the floor of the galley, the young Mandalorian presented her a final gift. An intricately bound book, made from sketch flimsi and filled with page after page of illustrations. It told a story, in few words and in brilliant, dynamic colors, of a Jedi, a hero, on quests to make the galaxy a better place. The Jedi wielded a blue lightsaber, and although he could be grumpy, he was deeply loyal to his friends, and he always came in to save the day. His face was unmistakable, his demeanor kind and familiar.

“So Jacen can know his dad,” Sabine said, and her voice was carefully measured. “I never thought I’d illustrate a kid’s book.”

Hera had no words, so she threw her arms around Sabine instead, murmuring her thanks through her tears. Sabine accepted the hug, squeezing Hera just as tight, and they stayed that way for a long while.

Ezra

Jacen grew and grew until he no longer fit in her arms- or rather, he wiggled out of them every time Hera tried to pick him up. He started to beg to learn how to fly as the war drew to a close but it wasn’t until after the Battle of Endor that Hera felt the skies were safe enough for her son.

Sabine teased her that Jacen inherited his recklessness from both sides of the family. Hera couldn’t bring herself to disagree, but she looked around at her friends and family- Mandalorians and Lasats and spies and galactic heroes- and thought that her child’s thrill-seeking tendencies came more from his company rather than his blood.

The conclusion of the war didn’t mean the end of the fighting, but peace was at last on the horizon and her fellow rebels begun planning their lives in this new, free galaxy. Hera could be a mother full-time now, and not have to worry if each goodbye to her son would be her last.

She thought that this would mean fulfillment- and in many ways, it did. The galaxy was entering a new age, but there were too many things left behind for Hera to move on completely. Much of it, she would never get back- but for some, there remained hope of rescue.

She saw so much of Ezra in Jacen. His energy, for one, and his innocence. His optimism, too- Jacen was a happy baby and nothing short of an ebullient child. Hera and Kallus liked to joke that his smile could light up the galaxy. It was impossible, when gazing into Jacen’s blue eyes, not to see the hope and love of another boy who once looked to her as a mother. They had so much in common, these children of war, but their biggest similarity was those who loved them.

Sabine was the first one to teach her the bittersweet pride of a child leaving the nest, and she came to Hera again to tell her that she must go. Hera had fear and love and faith for her, but little surprise when Sabine promised to bring Ezra home. With a blessing and a plea to stay safe, she hugged Sabine tight and watched her set off into the galaxy again.

When evening fell, and Hera was alone again, Jacen approached his mother and snuggled into her arms. As much as she tried to protect her son, he always seemed to know when she was sad.

Hera didn’t think that she’d ever be complete without Kanan, without Ezra, without everyone she’d lost in a lifetime at war. But she was not alone, she knew- she had her son in her embrace and a family in every corner of the galaxy. That, for now, was enough, and she had hope that she would see them all again one day.

[msdanvers]

Hi!! Please can you give me some supercorp recs? I would love if you have one with kids. Thank you! Your blog and your edits are amazing!! <3<3

hi!! thank you so much!! 

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you and me by bs13 (wip, 82k words)

Kara has just had a baby, moved into her ex's apartment, and temporarily left her job; it figures that she might as well add "realizing she's not straight because of the pretty neighbor next door" to the list. 

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Take the Long Way Home by karalovesallthegirls (wip, 7k words)

What if, after shooting Lex and learning Kara's secret, Lena discovered another of her brother's projects - a half-human, half-Kryptonian? What if she did the only thing that she could, grabbed him and ran?

And what if Kara did everything in her power to try and get them back?

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to refashion the matrix of creation by seabiscuit, poiesis (wip, 44k words)

It's commonly said that too much wine can have perilous consequences, which Lena Luthor learns, but not in the way she'd anticipated.

Or, Lena takes a well-placed sip of wine and ends up In A Way.

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I love kid fics but I couldn’t think of more so I asked some friends for help: 

Real Isn't How You Are Made by PleasePassTheKangarooMate (wip, 50k words)

Season 5 re-do. Lena finds out Kara is Super Girl, but a tiny half Kryptonian makes it hard for Lena to shut Kara & the super friends out completely.

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The Fifth Wall by Black_Tea_and_Bones (109k words)

Kara goes to bed with Mon-El, and wakes up with Lena Luthor.

But it isn't Kara’s bed, and they’re not in Lena’s apartment, and that is definitely not their baby... Right?

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Mommates AU series by drfitzmonster (wip, 72k words)

Lena is disowned and disinherited by her mother, so with nowhere else to turn and a 5-month-old baby to take care of, she calls the closest person she has to a friend, Detective Maggie Sawyer, for help. Maggie arranges a place for her to stay with her girlfriend's sister, Kara.

Lena must figure out how to build a new life for herself and her daughter while trying to navigate her feelings for the kind and charming woman who is completely unlike anyone she's ever met before.

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Nothing Gold Can Stay by inkedroplets (wip, 33k words)

Unable to trust or forgive herself after reconciling with Kara, Lena intends to return to how she lived her life before coming to National City in self-imposed exile unaware of how much her life could change and what might happen when she winds back up in National City years later with a daughter in tow and runs into Kara again who looks like she hasn't aged a day.

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I Built This Home For Me, For You by lostariels (161k words)

It's been twenty-one years since Lena let Kara sit down at her table, twenty since Kara had almost died, and fourteen since the birth of their second daughter. Despite their ups and downs, they've been happier than Lena could ever have imagined, but even the scars of the past hurt sometimes, and life can't be wonderful all the time. Juggling work, marriage and motherhood hasn't been easy, and with some problems and ghosts coming back to stir things up, balancing things is harder than its ever been.

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By Sun and Candle Light by Gotta_Start_Somewhere (126k words)

Lena is raising her three-year-old daughter alone. She's moved them to Midvale where she'll teach at the community college to get a fresh start and get away from her family. Kara lives in Midvale with her sister Alex. She's trying to recover from an accident that has drastically altered her life. Alex is too preoccupied with helping Kara to see that she deserves her own happiness. Can they all help one another to find what's missing to be happy again?

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maybe be alright series by BerryliciousCheerio (wip, 23k words)

They’ve never talked about kids.

or: sometimes the heart is broken in the mending. 

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I See Who I Wanna Be (in my daughter's eyes) by littleluthor (126k words)

Lena was only 25 when she’d found out that if she wanted to have a child of her own, then she had to do it as soon as possible or she'd miss her chance forever.

She always figured she’d discuss how to have kids with her future wife when the time came, but her time was running out so she decided to take the plunge.

Ten months later, her baby girl was in her arms.

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listen closely and the stars will sing by celaenos (119k words)

Lena casts her mind around for the last time she felt this unmoored, this off-balance, by a woman, and can't come up with anything. Kara Danvers is unlike anybody that Lena has ever met; the sweetest, bubbliest person Lena’s yet to come across, and simultaneously one of the saddest, who is probably lying to everyone that she meets. It’s an impossible contradiction to wrap your head around, and Lena should probably stop hiding in this bathroom and trying.

(Or, Kara and Lena get parent-trapped into a relationship by a goofy little alien.)

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aaand if you’re not here for the kids but for the milfs, that’s valid and you should read tell me what you need, oh, you look so free by jazzfordshire (56k words). 

After marriage and kids, intimacy has gone by the wayside. But when Lena asks to try something new and intense, it sends them down a path of reconnection that leaves them stronger (and thirstier) than ever.