#so scared im Doing it wrong LMAO
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have been attempting taxidermy for the first time and am going to be checking on a duck wing im trying to preserve tonight.. wish me luck
#got it from a biologist taking a wing survey#so scared im Doing it wrong LMAO#also got to go kayaking today YIPPEE#personal
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Sorry ive been so inactive recently, I have a life that I needed to get back to for a bit! I am returning with a new hyperfixation (i am seven years late)
I drew me and my friend’s favorite characters in a silly artstyle!! We are going through the game together and we are almost done with Chapter Four (i am so scared) (ignore how tiny Rantaro’s head is) (i rant in the tags beware)
#Me and my buddies favs are Rantaro (mine) Shuichi Kokichi and Kaito#Maki is there to finish the trio and Angie is there because I love her#No spoilers past chapter 5 please!!#Why does Kaitos hair look like that /gen /pos#danganronpa v3#shuichi saihara#kaito momota#maki harukawa#kokichi ouma#rantaro amami#angie yonaga#drv3#drv3 killing harmony#I also gave Rantaro sandals because he deserves them 💙 gone too soon#If you see style inconsistency its because i drew kokichi and co today and the other three yesterday lol#Question why does every fem character have a skirt#Giving Tenko and Himiko pants asap it works fine with the rest of their outfits but i did give Maki leggings too#Miu is so freaky why did they write her like that (we couldnt read half of her lines without feeling utterly confused) /silly#i love Keebo sm im so scared bcs he hasnt died yet#Is it Keebo or Kiibo ive seen both#No comment on Kiyo but i feel like his story could have worked a bit better if the implications were more present#Poor guy but at the same time i dont really like him (justice for my girls Tenko and Angie)#I love Gonta sm i love his obsession with bugs he is so silly#WHY DOES SHUICHIS VOICE SOUND SO EMO IN THE ENGLISH VERSION#Dont get me wrong the va didnt do a bad job i just really like the Japanese version more it fits his vibe so much better#Rip Kaede your death scarred me bcs i had never consumed dr content before starting v3 as a joke#Tsumugi. My behated. THERE IS NO WAY SHE IS THAT BORING FOR NO REASON#Kirumi was gonna snap eventually lmao i would have too /j#Rip Ryoma your love hotel is so depressing#v3 spoilers
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we are big joel smallishbeans fans in this house
#trying to mesh these two themes together is so hard#i wanted to throw some cyberpunk stuff in his design but i had nooo idea what to do jdhdgdhn#and i dont know much about japanese culture either so im just soo scared to like. get something wrong#i hope?? this looks okay lmao??#my art#smallishbeans fanart#smallishbeans#hermitcraft fanart#hermitcraft season 10
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i am a COWARD. and a PUSSY. and PATHETIC. why don’t i SPEAK UP MORE. why am i so AFRAID. (tags for mild clarification grrhhhhh)
#this is about a certain someone who sent like four needless asks which i then privately responded to with yeah you’re right so they’d stop 😭#i ended up blocking them cuz. yeah. But like i should not have tolerated that#i did though LMAO#if you ever see me backing down and agreeing with someone who is in the wrong it’ss cuz im terrified at all times#grrhrhhjj. man why do i tolerate this junk.#tmw my anxiety ACTUALLY alters how i process stress#i back down way too much#whyyyy do i end up agreeing with needless criticism and hate because im scared of getting into fights or drama#WHYYYyy am i scared of being yelled at online#WHY!!!! am i scared of people#i get. so scared of people
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Jazzercise.
#I was gonna add red and yellow in the back but i realized they'd never do this lmao.#Red would be too lazy and tired. and i feel yellow would join in but get distrscted then do his own thing. then duck would get mad bout it.#“YOUR DOING IT WRONG! YOU HAVE TO STRETCH AND DANCE THE WAY THEY DO IT!”#somethin around that line.#so i did the other two duck colors we've seen!. the red one and the bigger boys color.#dhmis#dhmis duck#digital art#dhmis fanart#drawing#dont hug me im shit posting#dont hug me i'm scared#dont hug me im scared
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Was doing okay holding back all of the fear re: the potential election outcome until literally this second what the fuck to my brain lmao
#wherein lmao means I'm so scared and i cant stop crying rn#no one should have to fear this. not me nor anyone else nor the ppl who have already had to flee their homes worldwide#a person shouldn't have to worry abt violence being enacted upon them bc of who they are which like#obvi isn't a new concept to myself and most ppl but i feel like the folks who'll vote Trmp don't care for it#won't affect them in theory after all so of course they don't care#Housemate and I are trying to figure out where we could go and how in case of the worst#and it's not even the first time I'll have had to leave a place bc of safety reasons (two nickles on that already in my life)#but it doesn't make it any less daunting#i just want to live my life in our little house with Housemate and the cats working my shit job and trying to enjoy whatever i can#none of this matters and im shouting into a void full of equally terrified ppl dealing with this themselves if not worse#these tags don't make sense entirely and i don't care. i have things I should be doing and I'm sitting in my room#paralysed by fear over all of this#i should distract myself but with what? at what point do i accept the distractions can only do so much?#maybe I'll just take a nap again. idk. feels weird and wrong to play a video game or nap ordo anything that isn't trying to research options#i need to stop rambling here like im hoping time will pause while i type im out again lmao
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Mfw it took me✨30+ ✨ attempts to defeat Lies of P's chapter 6 boss
#sin speaking#(hi im artblocked something chronic again and i thought a new game would be a gr8 way to refresh my brain)#(WRONG!!!! I HAVE KNOWN TRUE TERROR AND PAIN INSTEAD)#(im level 86 and still struggling am i just bad at this??? MAYBE SO)#(i am very oonga boonga oriented i am not quick enough to block parry dodge very well lmao)#(bloodbornes raw aggression playstyle was a natural fit for me but oh boy LIES OF P HAS BEEN TESTING TF OUT OF ME)#(im still having fun. most of the time. until a boss appears and i cry)#(I GOT PAST THE CHAPTER SIX BOSS THO. EVENTUALLY.)#(now i am just plain ol scared of the horror ambience in the current level. I do not do well in dark decrepit buildings LOL)#(i have complicated emotions about this game. but i will say definitively the music is incredible. divine service? ✨big favourite)#(should i draw lop fanart will that wake my brain up to draw again who knows)#(i desperately want to get back to dark thunder and altar but my brain is like just circus music rn)
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Yay !! Im gonna talk about it with my friend today !! I think this is gonna help me not go completely insane !! I love love <3
#yeah i still feel super shitty#and its gotten like progressively worse too ?#i cant eat normally. i just chew ?#and im scared to go to sleep bc that means i have to lay in the silence#so i havent been sleeping well ? (at least that means no nightmares lol)#and the shivering and head jerks havent stopped either#ive been trying to pack and do all the practical stuff im supposed to#but i end up having to stop bc? idk? i either start breathing weird or zoning out#look im not an idiot. if this was an objective psych case file id have no problem coming up with a solid idea of whats wrong#unfortunately tho im a real person and i cant exactly be objective about myselt#i also cant focus for long enough to actually properly THINK about it ya know?#but honestly this is so dramatic for no reason lmao sorry for the melodrama#i just feel so awful i need to complain a little 🙏#but talking to a friend will for sure help ! 🙏💗💗💗#yay friendship !
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So i heard that the orv movie is real
#im excited for the movie dont get me wrong but like#yeah these are just my thoughts on the matter#im happy that even more people will see it but like#yeah#god i literally took the screenshot so i didnt have to type about it all over again wHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF GKJFFJF#but yeahhhhh#its been a while since ive read it so its a p good time to catch up#orv#omniscient reader#omniscient reader viewpoint#theres also like-- this really good twitter posts that puts my thoughts into better words#thats basically just-- the movie has little to no chance of upholding expectations and that the story and meaning of the og work could get#muddled and misinterpreted like many failed movie adaptations#and ive also been out of the fandom so long that what i say and my own thoughts doesnt even really matter in the larger scale of things#but like#as a person who really deeply cares about this piece of work#or at least-- cares for it but had a much deeper love and appreciation for it a long time ago#im scared for the movie-- both for selfish reasons and 'righteous' reasons#righteous being 'please dear lord dont fuck it up- dont ruin this beautiful complicated story that apparently i never even got halfway thru#ill link the twitter post in an rb lmao
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it works out well that i draw late at night bc when i commit art crimes then i can post it when the dash is dead bc everyones asleep so nobody (or less ppl) sees it,, i get to scuttle around the place and then hide in the morning
#this is half joking#mostly joking. maybe.#i am very silly but very anxious and it's not a good mix LMAO#im always terrified im going to say smth wrong but !! we stay silly !!!#i think the thing abt less ppl immediately perceiving me is why i prefer this account over my main original account now fjfkdl#on my main first tumblr account i have ... over 1k potential ppl who can see whatever I post and thats so scary fnfkdl#over here i have like 50 and thats still a little scary but soooo much better than the other number fhfjdll#im just a lil guy !!!! a very scared little man DBHDKSL#I KEEP NOTICING I KEYSMASH SO MUCH. im trying to do it less bc i use it like punctuation these days wtf 😭#i think Guz would tease me mercilessly abt it LMAO (i wouldn't mind it though)#dandy.cmd
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i designed your periaktois. im making your props. im designing your poster. im designing your promotional postcard thingies. just make a new role for me bro assistant prop master is hardly scratching the surface
#ive hardly worked on props bc set and publicity keep stealing my services LMAO#don't get me wrong i LOVE the resident artist vibe but like. im so much more than assistant prop master#also they should pay me for this just saying. literally offering amateur graphic design services AND im paying $60 to be in this show#im like a multipurpose tool of tech theatre i can do basically anything (sound scares me tho)#pigeon coos
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lmao not the 69th post on CYBR being that last rb
#Am I allowed to send hate to my son. I don’t know I don’t care I might#Idk I’m tired and Im too scared to ask people to do things so I just do it myself lmao#I’ve done it b4z….on the old blog. He would do stupid shit and id be like “stupid fucking idiot wtf is wrong with you. Bastard”
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my last dentist place sucks so I'm going to the dental school bc its covered by insurance and ngl being in this massive room with rows of white stalls listening to the sounds of dozens of drills is a little freaky
#good thing im not already scared of dentists. even so im a little nervous#also my student dentist texted me and got thr time wrong and was all jumpy. girl I get it but confidence is key#also they sent me to the wrong floor initially lmao#as long as they can do something abt this tooth pain idc. the last place was useless#cor.txt
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i want to share my silly little masato and aoki drawing i made on paper but im terrified of sharing my art to strangers bcz its not that good and im afraid ill get ultimately slandered LMAO
when youre scared of being criticized for a drawing but still want to share it its best to do what i do and throw it on the internet and then dodge the website for the rest of the day :)
#snap chats#over time you just. stop giving a shit and post and proceed LMAO BUT tbf ive been doing this for years so easier said than done#but i mean lifes too short to care about what other people say right#if you really wanna share something just share it#there's a thing in psychology known as the imaginary audience and it's when we're harsher on our image for no real reason#like of course we want to impress our peers and yk. be cool to them#but at the same time and as a result we heavily criticize everything we do if it's not 'perfect'#honestly a phrase that's saved me a lot is 'if theres no problem theres no worry'#like if theres nothing wrong going right now dont act as though youre in the thick of it yk#idk i cant make you post what you want but i guess over the years i get sad seeing people say they wanna share something#but ultimately get scared of doing it even though i know they can make something phenomenal#and yk. i just wanna see that and i wanna see people be enthusiastic about things they love#thats why i do art anyway- its because i get to be enthusiastic and share my passion with people#idk im rambling and this is preachy#tl;dr share it motherfucker 🔫 thats the tone we're all used to from me LMAO
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I need one of those guides that's like how to date as an adult with the presumption the reader knows Nothing not even like first grade asking out fake crushes info
#rant#i havent dated in years and im demi so i was never good at that shit anyway since itll take months or more to get a crush#i need a guide thats like Every single tiny step like idk#1 download x app or go to y public spaces#2 try looking for ppl with Z qualities#maybe make a list of Z compatible qualities first then look#3 message people with those qualiries THESE starter topics#4 try to go on an in person date soon by asking them#(or vice versa. talk for montjs before a date to see if u can even crush potentially which was a friends tip once)#5 at the date try to do X honest things and topics#remember to smile? or hug? some flirt suggestions if you dont know how and arent gping to kiss#6 what to say upfront (like idk im demi want no kids) versus what to not bring up immediately (idk?)#ive looked up advice for like individual numbers i just listed lmao#and the AMOUNT of full on conflicting advice!!! made me so anxious i had to stop#itd be like: YES say youre looking to date seriouslt for marriage cause other person may not want it#and better to both know sooner. vetsus NO leave mystery dont scare ppl with assumptions on what you#expect before u even know them! and its like???!! well a human simply CANNOT follow both of those advices at once#and id get anxious i couldnt follow ALL advice and cpuldnt guess which was right or wrong advice so id stress.#i will say generally good advice (tho very basic is): communicate honestly and more is better than less if unsure#have fun and be yourself cause you should enjoy it and if they like u then you want them to like the real you.#and look for red flags of cruel behavior (in which case LEAVE) and just general inxompatibility#(a person could be a great Friend but if theyre poly with 3 long term lovers and ur very much Not poly u should#probably JUST be friends. or if your friend is straight and ur gay. or ur crush wants to move to alaska soon#and u never ever wanna go there. just like. not bad things. just incompatible things)#but also im a little fool in the complexities and i still NEED lists for specific steps#i havent had a crush in years god -.-
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#ok. i just need to express something that is genuinely v funny to me#i was having dinner with my family and idk my sister asked my parents who their fave kid was and they were like idk we have no fave#and my other sister heard this like: oooo r we comparing whos the favorite? and of us 3 i think she things shes the best#bc her ego is huge and shes v self involved so i was like: y do u think u r the favorite? and she said: i make the most money. im the most#successful. im the best looking. im thr fastest. i have the best social skills#and thr fact that she listed being thr fastest runner as a reason she should b thr favorite kid is extremely funny to me. like is this a#physical race lmao???? also i dont think she has thr best social skill my youngest sister has lots of friends and is a teacher for small#kids. i think her social skills r better and shes wayyyyy nicer. and i pointed out that shes an abrasive person to b around and she was#like: well yeah i dont treat my friends like i treat u guys. which is extremely true. everyone things shes so nice. but its like. if u kno#ur being horrible to us y do u do it??? like i change my behavior to avoid being made fun of by u??? u make me think the world is a worse#place bc ur point of view is so judgemental. also u r extremely bratty and entitled and i dont understand. u r the only one of us 3 like#this??? all my negative self talk sounds word for word like the things u say. and after this trip ill probably add *baby voice* whats#wrong? r u too scared? to the list. idk i really dont get her. she didnt even kno i was starting my phd in the fall. i dont think she#initiated any conversation with me this whole trip#also she makes like 60k a year routing trucks for pepsi which is fucking unhinged to me. like bro it does not sound hard at all and in the#fall ill b making a barley livable wage busting my ass as a grad student. the work to pay ratio is way unbalanced#whatever. she isn't a horrible person. she is very funny. both my sisters r tbh and no one makes me laugh like them#which just makes me sad that we dont connect. anyway. im done bitching for now. ill have positive things to say later once i get back#into the swing of things#unrelated
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