#so people just called me by my last name
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#cecilsweep and Welcome to Night Vale trending #1 in 2023
#welcome to night vale#wtnv#ive said it before but people not knowing wtnv makes me feel old#i remember the days before cecil had a canonical last name#so tumblr just gave him the jonathan sims treatment#aka called him cecil baldwin (the voice actor's name)#wtnv will always have a special place in my heart as my first fiction podcast#cecil palmer#cecilsweep#oh to be young and queer and stumble upon a funky little gay podcast about a horiffic and absurd little town#yes i am just reusing my tags from my last post#added a description#glad yall are enjoying my shitty meme#i made it while half-awake and unable to sleep because my tummy hurt :(#follow me for more shitty podcast memes#im currently going feral for malevolent#important note: girlies is gender neutral#tumblr sexyman poll
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alright buckle up it’s time for me to spread my hoshina/mina agenda
1. mina being unserious as hell with the most serious face when it comes to hoshina (taking a picture of him being upset over losing kaiju #8)
2. “could you be the one to carve the path for me?” she specifically asked him because of his swordsmanship that every elder/senior in his life had dismissed him for citing it was an end of an era. she’s the only one who believed in him after years of being put down by everybody (even his own family)
3. devotion & loyalty & trust - do i even need to say anything they make me go crazy
i can’t add anymore pics so i’ll word dump properly in another post but wow i’m bonkers abt them 😭 something something thank you for choosing me / thank you for being someone i can rely on
#i spent 1 hour from 3am last night rereading the bits i said id only do after jy exam but i was in the mood.. my head is kill in g me tho#long post#soshiro hoshina#mina ashiro#hoshimina#<- sorry i cant and don’t know their official ship name but im calling it this i will be the one to steer this sheep . ship.#running it like the navy#getting back into art just so i can make fan art.#egg boils#kaiju no.8#sorry if nobody in the tag wanted to see bisexuals#someone did a ashiro analysis and mentioned hoshina filing the empty spot kafka should’ve been in and i Agree but i also think that she’d#come to realize that they’re two different people and whilst it’s not what she’s always dreamed off/what motivated her to Even get here#i think over time she would’ve rly come to appreciate hoshina as not js a troop member or vice captain but as a person… Gah#their dynamics . So good to me they’re both so kaiju killing silly no thoughts#mina#hoshina#soshimina
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Does anyone else think it’s fascinating how nicknames develop? Like sometimes a nickname is a logical shortening of a name, sometimes it’s a different part of their name, like a last name or a middle name, and sometimes it’s completely random, manifesting out of a series of twisting inside jokes and memories that is impossible to explain and you’re just like, “Oh yeah, that’s our friend, The Ball, don’t mind him.”
#shower thoughts#well it was a shower thought that I kept thinking about#I could not for the life of me think of a random nickname for a real human I know though#so maybe this is just a product of too much media consumption#I personally only have a family nickname that’s my name shortened that most people don’t call me#so maybe that’s why I think nicknames are so interesting#all I could think of murph as a nickname versus the ball as a nickname#this probably also manifesting from rewatching 911#and being so curious about Chimney and why he’s called that#fantasy high#dimension 20#d20#riz gukgak#brian murphy#I do have a friend that does by Morple in a chat but we never call her that and also I don’t really know the story behind it#do people have friends or are the friend with a weird friend group nickname???#inquiring minds want to know#nicknames#nickname#it’s symbolic of a deep and loving and long-lasting friendship to have a weird random nickname okay?#I secretly want one
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no one would notice if i ever vanished // if bodies could sustain // this never-ending army // like blood pumping through a vein
(click for better resolution!)
:OOO hello. anyway since these are all posters i'd have in an ideal world or smth and i'd like to store the high res versions somewhere,,, here's the google drive folder for them? hehe ''
close up!
#adamandi#vincent aurelius lin#i'm back with the posters! or smth! idk!!#i'm maybe just a bit obsessed with vincent. such a Character.#where can i run is sustaining me single-handedly through this exam season (<- has cried thrice in the last two days; alas; but moving on)#my stress response was that in a fit of apathy i shut myself down from academia and stopped to paint this#six hours total? on this funky little thing! had to push myself to finish the magnifying glass but!! looks so cool. i'm impressed with my e#fun fact: all the shades are hand-coloured. aka everything is digitally hand painted hooray!! i havent painted for a long time (ish)#smth about this musical makes me want to paint. it's very lovely that way#it's also a miracle i haven't gotten carpal tunnel or any wrist injuries so far... i'm a lucky person! hooray#i had so many thoughts to ramble about and now i don't recall any of them.#-! about this piece: inspired specifically by that one line that i doodled in the margins of a math practice last night#the diagonal slant was very. thinky. the rendering and angle were kinda contradictory to do but it's fineeee (draft was diff. pov)#i liked the red abstraction. and the way that people (misc) gave same vibes as red blood cells.#green for vincent because contrasting colour!! considered a spotlight that was more obv bc. again theatre lighting is so cool. but that was#a bit too literal? i think. so just fun little highlights. no one look at the accuracy of anything here though.. shadows do Not do this#also like hehehe lin. forest. forest of people. i really liked thinking about that. hehehe#i didn't know the font to use!! or quote!! so i slapped on the name of the musical and called it a day... the blank one is in the google-#-folder if you want to add your own stuff :') also also i wasn't sure about cropping at all. so again high res in google drive link#which is under the keep-reading sign! kind of a choose your own adventure because i'm lazy :3#ajhshdhfhfhfhf i think i've been fuelled by the tags under each post so far. so intensely. so very nice.#also when the cast or creators drop fun facts... serotonin right there.. they're all so nice waaagh it's so cool that they like my stuff ><#<laughs> really grateful that the whole fandom's so sweet <3 thank you for your support TvT#alright!! off to mess about with chemistry. jiayou me.#oh yes. a post script about the cropping crisis: i wasn't sure how small i wanted to make him. in proportion to the crowd. so if you see it#on mobile ig it's tiny and on laptop it kind of makes sense ...
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post canon/future teru... single mother with no children idk
#that or he first meets reigen in on the subway - isnt recognized - blurts “reigen!” and when he gets his feelings hurt hes like uh yeah im#a past costumer and ur massages sucked thats how i remember u and then the next chance meeting reigen is desperate to not have customers#with bad experiences that hes like heres my business card call me for half off next visit i totally remember u now customer i will not name#totally didnt forget and teru who feels guilty cuz he only lashed out for feeling rejection or any emotion for the first time in years the#last time they met is like uhhhm u dont have to do that i was just saying stuff but reigen is already Committed so teru is like ok... but h#throws out the card when he gets to his apartment cuz seeing people from his past is making him feel strange and he doesnt have the time fo#that shit he has a job now! and his neighbors gf - a superstitious lady - finds it and is like FATE! so reigen is called cuz teru keeps#opening the door to his home while invisible to avoid conversation with this guy who hurt his feelings once and yeah more stuff#anyways#mob psycho 100#teruki hanazawa#reigen arataka#metukikart#mp100
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hc that chuuya gets unbelievably pissed whenever an ada member calls him by his first name due to respect principles, only to find out it was because dazai told everyone 'chuuya' was his last name just to fuck with him
#and its canon bc I say so#chuuya: its so fucked nobody at your stupid agency respects me!#dazai: damn thats so wild no clue why they do that :///#i just think its so funny how chuuya SHOULD be one of the characters called by his last name by most people#ESPECIALLY the ada#but just#nobody does#LMFAOFHSDJKFH#idk makes my giggle#lea.txt#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#chuuya nakahara#bungou stray dogs chuuya#bungo stray dogs chuuya#bsd dazai#bungo stray dogs dazai#bungou stray dogs dazai#osamu dazai#skk#soukoku#bsd skk#bsd soukoku
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Windy at my house + power flickering = no comm work = quick laptop doodle
#my characters#i genuinely hoped the wind would die down but like ??? nah?#and the last time we lost power without an actual storm it WAS bc of wind#and so i just get so panicked over please dont fry my tablet with a power surge#if it calms down by tonight i really wanna work on art since i spent almost all day yesterday struggling with a pose and i finally#think i thought of something that could work and then (gestures to the wind) fuck me#also in regards to these two you have seen me drawing deacon a lot recently and i only drew armya once so far#she is a devoted follower to fulj which is really rare since fulj no longer has a large following nor a temple#so when fulj finds her its comforting and reassuring and she adores armya a lot#however the fact that fulj relentlessly teases deacon and calls him names is like..... ok wait would you really be mean to me if it wasnt#for her ? like would you still pick on me? :c and shes like lol yeah dude absolutely#deacon is just constantly dunked on by the lightning group and hes so sad because he wanted to be friends :c#but also the guy wouldnt really recognize the followers if it wasnt for the traces of lady fulj#so if they would wander into the city without having been possessed recently he probably wouldnt even cast a glance their way#nothing personal he just straight up doesnt decipher looks fast at all#he could think they look familiar but then not know why ESPECIALLY if they wear something he's not used to them in#like if armya showed up in something other than her loose white jacket he would not be able to go AH YES ARMYA immediately#he identifies people by hair or clothing details so it kinda messes him up if people remove whatever identifying trait they have#long hair getting a hair cut? suddenly a whole new person#and armya knows this very well since he never looked her way unless fulj was possessing her or trailing her#so she does like to tease him as just. we are both in servitude to a deity and same rank but like. bro youre too easy to mock#(fulj agrees)
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what the fuck does fer mean I keep seeing everyone on this blog and it's confusing me at first I thought it was a spelling mistake but no it just it haunts me.
MY NAME IS FERNANDO
#IM SORRY BUT THIS IS SO FUNNY HAWJHADJM#fernando miguel ángel#thats my two names btw#people tend to just call me fer tho because thats shorter and faster! :]#ALSO CALRIFYING. BUT MIGUEL ÁNGEL IS NOT MY SURNAME. THATS JUST MY SECOND NAME BECAUSE IM PERUVIAN AND WE NORMALLY HAVE MORE THAN ONE NAME#(clarifying because once i got told by someone that they thought my last names were miguel ángel. thats just my second name)#ask
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i'm a little kid, and so are you don't you go and grow up before i do
#rain world#rw hunter#hunter rw#rw survivor#survivor rw#rw monk#monk rw#rw honeystickfam#lyrics from turning out by ajr#telling myself im allowed to like this family#telling myself that im allowed to find comfort in them#telling myself that im allowed to give them a name to refer to them by#and that its not problematic to give them a name even though names are usually reserved for ships#i had a MASSIVE anxiety spike regarding just wanting to call them as a family honeystick#since it got mistaken for a ship#theyre the honeystick family and i love them and i hope people are okay with them having a name#think of it like a last name#hunter honeystick survivor honeystick monk honeystick#the name is honestly more for me and my interpretation of them but honestly itd make me feel so much better seeing other people use it too#anyway tag ramble over
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ughhh I need to stop having mental breakdowns over little things.
#vent in tags#chat sesh with iris#vent#tw vent#I feel like everyone hates me and even you all hope I die and nobody likes my ships bc everyone thinks I’m not good enough for my f/os#and the worst part is that none of it is unfounded!!!#none of my friends are talking to me AT ALL anymore even when I start conversations#(including in text)#while they actively talk to other people WHERE I CAN SEE IT!!!#only one of my friends is and all they do is send me anti bs and go ‘omggg these people are so weird!!!’ about like anyone who ships with-#certain characters (including ones that I SHIP WITH!!! which is why I don’t talk about it other than here)#people are like ‘omggg… I hate it when men like these characters. you don’t get them and they’d never love you.’ about my f/os#which triggers dysphoria and self loathing and fear about my ships#tw suicidal ideation#<- somewhat#I don’t like anything about myself and I don’t deserve anything that I have#man. I don’t even want to be here anymore#also I have severe mental illness that has caused a lack of possibility for happiness that lasts longer than fleeting moments#I have not spoken (like aloud) to anyone other than my parents since THE THIRD!!!#I’m going to ask my psychiatrist for testosterone on Wednesday but idek if I’m gonna make it until then#probably I will because I’m too depressed to gather the energy to do it#also she might even say no or not be able to prescribe it#and this isn’t even why I’m the most upset rn but I REALLY need a win#also my mom was like ‘you haven’t given me another name so I’ll just keep calling you the name I gave you 😊😊😊.’ instead of. idk. asking me?#tw suicide#okay yeah the tag is fully warranted now#I like know how I’d do it and everything#I also had a panic attack because I couldn’t find my quilt hashtag just autism things!!!#not takeover#obviously
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I keep thinking of how I want to taxonomize Siffrin and Loop bc it feels significant to me that Loop and Siffrin both have inherently diverged from the same Traveler Mold they came from. But because I am like a 7 year old I keep sagely nodding to myself going "ah yes... just like mega mewtwo"
#do u understand me. do u understand my vision#they're both siffrins they are just two pathways of how the same one guy develops through their experiences in timeloops#that are the same in basic structure but different in how they affected them#so like siffrin and loop are distinct people. but they're also just branches of preloops siffrin. much like mega mewtwo x and y are distinc#but they are also mewtwo#<-(said like this is somehow profound and not stupid)#liek do you guys get me... i think loop and siffrin are very much in sync#to the point where as seen in canon it's pretty easy for loop to divine what siffrin's thinking down to the phrasing#it's really striking how much loop talks and siffrin fullass does not reply but loop keeps on rollin just fine#but fundamentally they don't think the exact same way when it comes to bigger things#like how loop never fully accepts the idea of talking to the king as something reasonable to do#or how act 4 siffrin is in their own damn world while loop is left going. Stardust what the hell are you on (morose edition)#i think it's fun to find the gaps between them#i've always thought it would be fun. in a postcanon timeskip scenario#for loop to be. flatly worse at reading siffrin than they expect to be. because siffrin has been healing and trying to get better#while loop has been becoming steadily bitter as they tried and failed to cut the rope on their own attachments as some kind of last measure#of self defense against the pain of paving over their old relationship with the party with a new name new role new personality new stardust#to exist alongsides#likewise i think it's fun if siffrin overextends his new understanding of loop as being another self and the feeling of recognition for loo#is simultaneously comforting and Tremendously grating coming from Fucking Stardust#especially if siffrin just assumes shit wrong cuz for as much as hes the only guy who can relate 2 being trapped in a timeloop for months i#was not exactly the same now was it.#isat spoilers#Sorry this is a lot of thinking outloud on a post where i call loop and siffrin mega mewtwo x and y
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there's this one american accent that for some reason really bothers me and i don't know how to describe it other than that it's very enunciate-y and feels particularly rhotic
#when i meet ppl in life who talk like that i'm like huh.#when i see people in tv shows who talk like that i'm like. this is making it really hard to be believable for me for some reason#i am american i probably have an american accent idk what you'd call my accent specifically#but this particular accent (which i can also not specifically name) just feels. strange. like it's fake. like it's Super White American.#idk idk idk!!!#bluebird.txt#maybe that's why it's weird i haven't been around a whole lot of White Americans in real life like. until last year#but even then there's only a few people i've met who speak like this and it's jsut SO STRANGE!!!!!!!
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how are you a holocaust survivor if you're POC?
I'm not a Holocaust survivor I'm 25?
I'm gonna guess you mean descended from Holocaust survivors & victims. In which case it's really sad that you think this way firstly? POC and non Jewish people did in fact die during the holocaust and many were targeted for not fitting the Nazis' idea of the "superior Aryan race".
From The Holocaust Encyclopedia: "When Adolf Hitler and the Nazis came to power in 1933, there were several thousand Black people living in Germany. The Nazi regime discriminated against them because the Nazis viewed Black people as racially inferior. During the Nazi era (1933–1945), the Nazis used racial laws and policies to restrict the economic and social opportunities of Black people in Germany. They also harassed, imprisoned, sterilized, and murdered an unknown number of Black people."
Also contrary to what some believe, and this may sound farfetched and I hope you're sitting down but bear with me- some people are actually more than one race. Some people are POC and white. We call this being biracial. Or in grade school, being an "Oreo". A mutt if they really want to dehumanize you
But while my relatives weren't targeted for their skin color as they were white, many people were. Black Germans and other POC did exist, were murdered and traumatized, and have passed down that generational trauma. Just as other persecuted populations even if it was much less it was no less a part of the genocide and ethnic cleansing.
#i was actually never called an oreo but my siblings were#the fun thing about my racial ambiguity is no one irl knows what racial slur or term to call me#anyway there were Holocaust victims that were POC and it's even more reason to compare these events.#we have to mention the holocaust by name. we have to say hitler's name. i feel if we don't we're forgetting that this has happened before#because millions did not die during the holocaust just for us to justify more ethnic cleansing. more destruction of people's land& history#we have to look at how history was rewritten and how they allowed a genocide and massive cleansing to happen#and given my background i can't wrap my head around seeing everything that i heard of the nazis and even the USSR doing#and just going “but hamas”. israel is the cause hamas is the effect. i will never be happy that innocent people died#but people are wrong to say it was because they're jewish and muslims/palestinians/arabs hate jews. furthers the us vs them#they were already being killed and there's a reason colonized ppl & BIPOC see through the propaganda#the “they kill babies and rape women and hate you for how you were born and want to take things from you!”#we are familiar with it bc this isn't the first time it's happened and we remember the result of that mentality#and how it was weaponized#when i say mention it i do not mean above the current genocide. but we know how serious the holocaust was#the scale the lasting impact the destruction the things that were uncovered so much later#there is no “aftermath” of gaza yet bc the genocide is ongoing but we've seen the aftermath of genocide before#if we ignore the parallel we are forgetting history and there's a saying about those who forget history#free palestine#palestine#gaza#free gaza
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DID NEIL GAYMEN WRITE DBD
He wrote the comics yes
#i totaly didnt have to look it up#also was spelling his last name like that intentional#what if our last names were just our sexuality and our gender?#'hi everyone im kitty pangirl'#ngl that kinda work#also why do americans pronounce 'herb' as 'urb' it dosent make sense#and im pretty sure its called macaroni cheese#but heigh ho each to there own#but exer is still pointy full stop#therea nothing you can do abt it sirius black#(thats thr only time i will call you that bc in all truth i wrote the Sirius black threat at abt 1 in the morning)#i couldnt sleep (i was thinking abt dead gay boys)#so i was doing that and reading a jegulus fanfic ofc#anyway someone called me emo yesterday?#its bc i forgot my hairclip lmao#my friend did a 'makeover' on me#in the middle of the hall right outside maths#and she tried to so my hair#and it went all over my face#so i put my glasses on#and said i was cousin it#and then people came and started laughing#it was so weird idk#then she insisted to do a messy bun#but i refused bc 1. i hate having my hair up#and 2. i dont want to look like a chav#and then she started spraying my face many times#so i was just like 'scarlett stop pls'#so she sprayed almost he whole bottke#exer is pointy
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Shoutout to the little girl in my mom’s class who asked if the saku.masu sticker on my laptop was of me and my mom. Sorry honey it is yaoi<3
#that said it’s TECHNICALLY Nero and Blanc but it’s funnier as just saku.masu#anyway. doing my field observation stuff for my education course has been going well. very silly so far👍#I’m just going with my mom because that way I don’t have to badger other people hehe<3#that said because of this the kids refuse to call me anything other than my last name with no honorific which is kinda non binary swag#yeag#LC screams
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Just remembered I have a psychiatrist appointment so early tomorrow. And I obviously dyed my hair so recently because there's green staining on my face. I don't think it's going to look great for the bipolar diagnosis, to disclose that I was feeling impulsive and wanted to get control over something, so I dyed my hair at midnight.
#i dont really like this psychiatrist but ive only seen her once so i figured i should give her one more shot#last time i saw her she adked how i liked my anxiety meds#i said i love them. theyre helpful and have no side effects since my body got used to them#and i said i explicitly didnt like ky old ones cuz of how they made me feel#she prescribed the old ones and said i should just tey taking a smaller dose. even though im on meds i like#but the bigger problem is#we went over all my previous medications. ive been on several. a lot of antidepressants especially which is really bad for bipolar#the worst antidepressant cause pericarditis (swelling around my heart) that made me go to the emergency room#we went over that. i told her everything i just told you#my bipolar leans heavily into the depression so she decided to tey another antidepressant along with my mood stabilizer#can you guess which antidepressant she prescribed? can you??#and i didnt realize it at the time because she called it the generic name so i couldnt explain she shiuldnt prescribe me that#and i meant to callher about it but it completely slipped my mind and i thought i had more time#and then suddenly my appointment is tomorrow#or the other thing she recommended was lithium. which feels like wuite an escalation#eapecially since she said it can cause irreversible damage to (maybe remembering this wrong) my kidneys#like i feel like there must be a better option. none of which are anxiety meds i dont like. an antidepressant that sent me to the hospital#or something that could cause irreversible damage. like i feel like theres a better way#i also need to talk to her about setting up an adhd assessment#i had an assessment a few years ago in which i was told im 'too smart to have adhd'#calling adhd people not smart is bullshit. you cant be too smart to have adhd. and i feel like i was just dismissed because im female#he said he wished he could score as hugh as i did on the knowledge tests#man me too. maybe then you wiuldnt be such an idiot. how did you get a license to practice. how did you pass any higher education#are you just a random guy that walked in off the street? i refuse to call him a doctor#i call him a quack or by his full name because i don't think he deserves the respect of that title#what was i talking about. oh yeah trying another assessment with an actual doctor this time#wish me luck with my appointment tomorrow bcuz she might try to kill me again#or dismiss my concerns of adhd like she dismissed my dislike for my old anxiety meds#im in hell. being mentally ill is hell a little bit#actually its not. im fine with my mental illness. im not fine with how doctors treat me because of it
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