#so of course there would be some kind of conflict surrounding that

[b1ueshift]

i have so many opinions on how some people are acting about the new good omens season despite never having watched and having no interest in watching it

[utenthy]

has anyone here seen richard siken’s current twitter antics

[cutielando]

conflict of interest | l.n.

synopsis: requested by anon: i recently saw a lando fanfic where the reader was a famous football player’s daughter and she was besties with maguis ex bf (joao another football player) but the story line was that she’d gone to a gp lando grew an interest in her but she rejected/dissed him because of the rumors of him and magui and i was wondering is you could do something like that!

warnings!!: a little hate towards magui (i have nothing against her and her relationship with lando in any way !!!! but it was necessary for the story to be spicier), jerk!joao (for like a split second)

my masterlist

You didn’t know what you were expecting when you got invited to attend a Formula 1 race weekend.

You knew nothing about the sport or how it worked, the only thing discussed in your household being football and your father’s career. Day in and day out, the only thing that surrounded you was football.

Even though your father had always said that he didn’t want to pressure you into liking or practicing football, he secretly wanted you to follow in his footsteps.

Imagine his internal disappointment he felt when you told him you wanted to become a model. He, of course, supported you and helped you in every way that he could have ever thought of, instead shifting his entire focus regarding football on your best friend, João. 

You and João have known each other ever since you were little children, growing up in the same neighborhood and given that he had always looked up to your father and his career. Growing up, whenever you would hang out with João at your house, him and your father never missed out on the opportunity for some early-on training and strategy talks.

That didn’t stop even when João actually became a football player. Your father and him sometimes talked more than you guys did, if you were being honest.

But you understood the shared passion that made their connection so deep.

Even with your modeling, you were keen on following your best friend’s games, always finding time and watching it wherever you were around the world. But that was not the only sport that you followed.

Formula 1 had become your guilty pleasure ever since you did a photoshoot with Charles Leclerc for a jewelry brand in Monaco. You became very good friends with him and his girlfriend, Alexandra, whom you talked to regularly.

To nobody’s surprise, a couple of weeks after the photoshoot was published, you received a formal invitation from Ferrari to the race weekend at Silverstone. The most exciting thing in your life, by far, was getting the opportunity to experience the true feeling of the race weekend from the garages.

Figuring you shouldn’t go alone, you took João with you. 

“Why do you want me to come, again?” he asked while on the place, not particularly excited to attend an event in which he didn’t really have interest in or knowledge of.

“Because you love me and I didn’t want to go to the UK by myself” you had replied, which was enough for the footballer.

After you had checked into the hotel and made your way to the track for the qualifying session of the weekend, you were amazed by the multitude of people screaming all around the paddock and reporters taking dozens of pictures of you and João.

An interviewer motioned you over for a quick interview, prompting you to halt your walk towards the garage.

“Y/N, such a nice surprise seeing you here. Not really the kind of sport we’re used to seeing you attend, is it?” the woman asked, making you smile and laugh

“I suppose not, haha. I’ve been a huge F1 fan for a while now but my schedule has made it impossible for me to attend an actual race up until now” you explained, making the woman nod.

“And who are you the guest of today?” she continued.

“Ferrari. I did a photoshoot with Charles in Monaco a couple of weeks back and we because friends, so I’m guessing he talked the Ferrari team into inviting little old me to Silverstone”

“We saw you came with João Felix, is he your partner? What can you tell us?” 

You laughed, hearing João snort from behind you.

“No, far from it. We’re best friends, we’ve known each other since we were little kids, but there is nothing else going on between us”

You answered a couple more questions before deciding it was getting late and you would miss qualifying if you spent anymore time with the woman.

João and you made small talk as you walked towards the garage, seeing Charles talking to a guy in papaya.

“Hi Charles” you greeted him once you were within earshot, the Monégasque immediately hugging you and João.

“Y/N, João, I’m so glad you could make it. This is Lando, he drives for McLaren. Lando, this is Y/N, a model and very good friend and João Felix” Charles introduced you, making you smile at the curly haired man.

Making eye contact with Lando had been one of the most intense feeling you had experienced in a long time. The intensity of his gaze and the way his eyes moved over your body had your senses tingling.

“It’s very nice to meet you” he said, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it.

You almost blushed, but a scoff from your right made you snap out of your happy bubble. João was glaring daggers into Lando’s head, which made you furrow your eyebrows as you looked at him.

He shook his head and mouthed later, making you nod.

“Well, we have to get in the cars, but I hope you have a great time” Charles said, saluting you two before departing with Lando, who smiled and winked at you as he walked back to his garage.

“No” João demanded once he saw the way your eyes were following Lando as he disappeared into his garage, giving you one last look before he was out of sight.

“I didn’t do anything” you defended yourself, scoffing once you saw the distaste with which João was looking at you. “What the hell is your problem? You don’t even know the guy and you’re acting like he killed someone”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t have to know what he’s like to know that he’s an idiot. Do you not read the news?” he asked, at which you shook your head. 

You didn’t really have the time nor the desire to read tabloids, knowing what kind of articles they tend to write.

“You know I don’t believe in anything the media writes” you explained, rolling your eyes.

“Well, I believe what videos say. And he’s been seen with Magui” your eyes widened at the mention of his ex-girlfriend.

The mere thought of Magui being in a relationship with anyone made you sick to your stomach, especially after what happened with João.

“Oh” was all you could say, and the conversation ended there.

You couldn’t lie and say that the new information didn’t disappoint you. Wanting to see it with your own eyes, you decided to look it up on the internet and, fair enough, there were videos and pictures of Lando and Magui driving around Monaco.

While driving around didn’t really mean anything, you felt it like a punch to your gut. Every single time you would become slightly interested in someone, something had to come in between.

Shaking the thoughts from your head and deciding you would not speak to Lando for the remainder of the weekend, you enjoyed qualifying to the most, the feeling of watching firsthand what was happening was unlike any football game you had ever attended.

It was something special.

After you had arrived back at the hotel and were left alone once João decided to hit the city, you decided on having a quiet night in with some room service and a movie. Settling into the comfy bed, you had barely put on the movie when you heard your phone go off.

Looking at the notification, your heart starts racing when you see it was a text from Lando.

lando

hi there

is this y/n?

y/n

yes?

how did you get my number?

lando

charles gave it to me😅

y/n

hahhaa lol

did you need something?

lando

yes, actually

i think we both felt something earlier today

when we were introduced

and i was wondering if you wanted to go out?

y/n

ummm

hahaha

i don't think that's a good idea

lando

why not?

did i misread the situation completely?

i tend to do that sometimes

y/n

you didn't misread anything

i felt something as well

but i don't think your girlfriend would agree to you asking me out

or even talking to me right now

lando

girlfriend?

i don't know who you're talking about, i'm not dating anyone

y/n

lando

let's not pretend people don't follow the news

you've found magui, and i wish you both happiness if you're together, but given what happened with her and joao, who's my best friend, i don't even think we should be speaking right now

lando

woah, woah, woah

slow your horses

i don't know what news you've been reading

but i'm not dating magui

she's simply a friend, we have the same friend group but that's it

i know about the situation with joao and i would never associate myself with someone like that

does joao think i'm with her?

y/n

yeah

he's the one who told me to be careful

cause he saw the photos and video and shit

lando

i can assure you

i'm not dating her and i don't have the intention to date her

y/n

i don't know

lando

please, just think about it for some time

you don't have to give me an answer right now

y/n

okay

i'll think about it and let you know

lando

thank you, thank you, thank you

Throwing your phone on the bed as far away as possible, you let your mind wonder. Was Lando telling the truth? Was he really not dating Magui?

João had seemed so sure that they were together, so sure that she had just moved on to the next celeb and sure that Lando had just fallen for it. That’s why he had been so hostile towards him and so against you even talking to him.

But you couldn’t deny the butterflies that you felt when you talked to him just now, how excited the mere thought of being with made you. You couldn’t ignore it, and frankly, you didn’t want to ignore the feeling.

You hadn’t realized how long you had been stuck in your own thoughts, not until you heard the hotel room door open and João stepped into the room.

“What were you thinking about? You were lost in thought” he said, shrugging off his jacket and falling backwards on the bed beside you.

“You’re gonna hate me if I tell you” you said, playing with your fingers.

He raised his head at that, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Hate you? I could never hate you, no matter what you would do” 

You sighed, knowing he was right. There was no way he would ever hate you, he physically couldn’t think badly of you.

But this would test that idea pretty well.

“I talked to Lando tonight” you said, not even looking at him but knowing how he was glaring at you.

“I told you to stay away from him and her” the venom dripping from his tone at the thought of Lando and Magui didn’t go unnoticed.

“Look, I know what she did to you was unforgivable, and I hate her for how much she hurt you. You know that. But I talked to Lando, and they’re not dating. She’s just a friend he has in common with the people close to him, he would never date her because of what she did to you” you explained, trying to diffuse the situation.

João sighed, shaking his head. He turned to look at you, seeing the look on your face; a look he knew all too well.

He knew he had no right telling you who you should or shouldn’t talk to. He didn’t like it when you did it to him, he had no right doing it to you. But he had just been so angry at Magui for what he had done to him, time and time again after he had forgiven her, and he lost it when he saw the man in front of him.

However, looking at you in that moment, he knew you needed this. And he didn’t want to be the one depriving you of that.

“Okay” was the only thing he said, making your head shoot up and your eyes widen.

“Okay? What does that mean, okay?” you asked cautiously.

“If you want to go out with him, you can go out with him. I have nothing against it” he said, which prompted you to squeal and jump on him to hug him, chanting thank yous in his ear. “But, if he does anything to hurt you, I’m not afraid to fight him” it made you laugh.

Without wasting a single moment, you picked up your phone again and sent Lando a message, smiling giddily.

so, about that date?

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[vivacissimx]

The puzzle piece about Rhaegar that is really interesting but unfortunately often overlooked is that he was relieved when he realized he was not TPTWP. Yes, relieved. Conflicted too which I will get into. And I believe it is obvious that when Rhaegar first read about Aegon's prophecy, he was not enthused— It seems I must be a warrior is trotted out to talk about Rhaegar's gender expression, his disconnect with capital m Masculinity that is purposely contrasted to Robert Baratheon reveling in it (indeed only making sense within the context of violence, battle, war) but there is more to the compulsion involved in the words It seems and I must than just It seems I must become an archetype. Socially becoming a fighter was already expected of him but he was not, presumably, in compliance with this expectation. The prophecy motivated him in a different way than you will be socially rewarded for acting as a man does.

Which brings me to another point i.e. how Rhaegar perceived himself prior to reading what he read; his connection to the tragedy of his birth and the grief, the resentment, the awkward dynamics between members of his family. "Oh he was a child" yes but we're told that Rhaegar did not act like, think like, or even particularly get along with others his age. So it's safe to say he was aware of Summerhall and felt it's shadow surrounding him from a young age. And Aegon's prophecy, combined with the Ghost of High Heart's prophecy, the events of Summerhall, put this weight on his shoulders completely into context. It was not that Rhaegar desired to be TPTWP because he took to it with determination but no particular joy. Every indicator just seemed to demand he give himself over to fulfilling this role. TPTWP was coming from Aerys and Rhaella's line? Well, he was their only child. Consult Maester Aemon on the matter? Yeah kid it's you. Ancient scrolls? Dusty, but they agree. Dead ancestors? Oh wait, they died so YOU could live. Woah.

This understanding basically necessitates us looking to ASOS Daenerys who also has some knowledge of TPTWP prophecy, and thanks to the Rhaegar-Daenerys pipeline, we can imagine that Rhaegar had similar thoughts to Daenerys, such as when she asks herself: The dragon has three heads. There are two men in the world who I can trust, if I can find them. I will not be alone then. We will be three against the world, like Aegon and his sisters. Who are Rhaegar's fellow two heads? Daenerys wonders at this, telling Jorah that her brothers are dead. Well Rhaegar's brothers die too, right in front of him. Rhaella suffers miscarriage after stillbirth after crib death. She is punished for this by Aerys via isolation and presumably Rhaegar is also kept separate from her— textually we know that Rhaegar was expected to take a sister to bride, i.e. further targcest was going to be enforced by Aerys, and to Rhaegar the loss would have also been of the other two people who would have fulfilled the requirements of the prophecy. Yes that's true. However, it was also the loss of his mother.

Rhaella was 13 when she had Rhaegar so it would be ridiculous to even think that she, a child, a Queen from when Rhaegar was 3, was this grand maternal figure to him. Of course she wasn't. There was too much on her shoulders. Too much on Aerys's shoulders as well, to be any sort of father except the kind who trotted Rhaegar out as an impressive little heir from time to time. Rhaegar was Aerys's success (it's the duty of the patriarch to sire sons who will continue the line) but as Rhaegar's siblings failed to survive, that success became a dicey thing. So when Viserys was born & survived, there is a thought that Rhaegar would latch onto such a sibling. This isn't the case— in fact, Viserys is Rhaella's. She coddles him. Keeps him close. Safe from Aerys (who already has Rhaegar). Viserys tells Dany stories about Rhaegar but this is done in the sense that he does not truly know Rhaegar. Why wouldn't Rhaegar have spent more time with Viserys, if he was motivated by fulfillment of the prophecy?

Because Viserys was Rhaella's, perhaps. Rhaegar never truly got to be his mother's son. To leech Viserys away from her... there's something in that. When Rhaella warmly welcomed Rhaegar's daughter, too. Rhaella's was Aerys's wife and property, which Rhaegar knew because he was also Aerys's property. Rhaella was mother to his brother. Rhaella was a grandmother to his daughter. She was everything but the woman who raised him.

"Rhaegar was a lonely man anyway due to his depression" yes that's true. There is an asceticism to Rhaegar Targaryen. The places he enjoys are bare and stripped, places he can keep his own company: Summerhall, the place of his birth, haunted, full of magic. Dragonstone where he retreats after his marriage, a place where the last embers of Valyria's magic died. Later the Tower of Joy is in a barren desert. But he finds a beauty in these places. He writes music that pushes him back into the shared world, songs he shares with people, about people, about lovers and those who sacrificed and who he is deeply moved by— almost like he's motivating himself. People are drawn to him.

Despite his lack of connection to Rhaella and Viserys he does bond with people. Arthur Dayne, who for all we can try and complicate, apply horseshoe theory to, is meant as the juxtaposition to characters such as the Smiling Knight. Brave as brass Myles Mooton whose memory his people still call upon. Richard Lonmouth and Jon Connington, both technically vassals to Robert Baratheon, funny little irony there. Princess Elia his wife who he is fond of along with the Dornishmen she comes to court with, "particularly" Prince Lewyn of the Kingsguard, who is in Rhaegar's confidence (per AWOIAF). These bonds seem strong because not a whiff of possible disloyalty on Rhaegar's part ever reaches Aerys despite it definitely existing and Aerys actively looking for it (again per AWOIAF). Do these confidantes know about Aegon's prophecy? IDK. At least in JonCon's case the answer seems to be no. However we also know JonCon wasn't actually the closest to Rhaegar. Nonetheless, I think we can assume that outside of Arthur Myles and Richard most of these were political relationships which Rhaegar pursued and all were concerned about Aerys's instability— there is also Tywin who Rhaegar performs certain overtures towards (such as knighting Gregor, Tywin's man, at a time when the Aerys-Tywin relationship had just grown particularly sour) indicating he'd like him as an ally. This is all straying away from TPTWP but I think it's important, it shows that even imbued with purpose, Rhaegar was in a position that did not lend itself towards him being able to take much action...

Then winter breaks. Spring comes. Nobody knows it's false yet. Rhaegar's whole deal is this coming Long Night. Everyone takes, quite literally, a breath of fresh air, and the tourney of Harrenhal commences, with Rhaegar as a shadow sponsor, thinking to call an informal Great Council which will begin to deal with Aerys (step 1)(step 1 failed).

This is where matters of prophecy come back into focus. I've covered Rhaegar's various relationships, the shallowness of them, the stagnancy in Developments due to Aerys's paranoia, etc. Harrenhal is not a solitary place but it is flush with magic in a way similar to Summerhall and Dragonstone— all places where dragons have died Harrenhal is thematically the cannibal dragon let's not get into that. And this is important to Rhaegar's characterization because of how things unfold with Lyanna Stark in several ways: 1) Lyanna cries to his song. Before they formally meet Lyanna is touched by the magic and purpose and sacrifice and yes, love, of which Rhaegar sings. It speaks to her. Of course, many others likely cried too. Common occurrence, see: A song of love and doom, Jon Connington recalled, and every woman in the hall was weeping when he put down the harp. Not the men, of course. Rhaegar gender moment but I digress. 2) Rhaegar's discovery of her as the KOTLT despite Robert & Richard Lonmouth both vowing to do so, those raucous manly men, both of whom failed; Rhaegar's subsequent hiding of her identity to unknown consequence for himself if any. All he produces is her shield which is painted with a tree on it, a purposeful callback to Duncan the Tall's shield, both Lyanna and Dunk being 'false knights' yet, in their actions, true ones. Sorry I love Lyanna so much I can't resist plugging her greatest hits 3) Rhaegar winning the tourney, the only tourney he's ever won... and immediately tainting his victory by awarding it to Lyanna instead.

I bring this all up and frame it because here we see that Rhaegar is not really invested in his own victory or legacy or even really his honor. His wife Princess Elia is there and she is pregnant with his son, something he could commemorate in the same vein that Aerys "honored" Rhaegar by showcasing him at various tourneys, an ode to a future warrior king, but Rhaegar doesn't do that. It's not his victory as a Man. It's never been about his victory as a Man. It doesn't even need to be his victory.

Neither does Aegon's prophecy. Rhaegar rapidly realizes that on two fronts: second, the false spring ends. It wasn't real! Rhaegar's spring isn't the lasting one. First, though, is that Rhaegar and Elia's son Aegon is born, a difficult birth in which Elia is rendered infertile. Who does this remind you of? Oh right, Aerys with Rhaella— only Rhaegar does not go about trying to impregnate Elia again. Rhaegar becomes convinced Aegon is TPTWP— something he was already thinking, prior. Rhaegar was never so invested in himself being TPTWP that he could not be convinced otherwise. Maester Aemon: Rhaegar, I thought... the smoke was from the fire that devoured Summerhall on the day of his birth, the salt from the tears shed for those who died. He shared my belief when he was young, but later he became persuaded that it was his own son who fulfilled the prophecy, for a comet had been seen above King's Landing on the night Aegon was conceived, and Rhaegar was certain the bleeding star had to be a comet. Rhaegar agreeing "when he was young" and being "certain the bleeding star had to be a comet" all indicate that he had been looking into the possibility that TPTWP was Not Him for a while. The visits to Summerhall— maybe they were a search for proof by encasing himself in the lingering magic of the place? He still messed up the prince/princess translation presumably because baby Rhaenys never seemed to be in the conversation. (The bleeding star was in fact a comet, funnily enough, a little consolation prize for the pretty boy.) Here's what we know: in Daenerys's vision, Elia asks if Rhaegar will write Aegon a son, we can assume because he wrote their firstborn Rhaenys a song, but Rhaegar says no, he already has one. The song of ice and fire. Aegon doesn't get a song. Why? Rhaegar believes he must be a warrior.

Yet, he sings for him anyway.

Rhaegar's "it seems" and "I must" and distance from Viserys and inner conflict about Aerys and doubt about his own place in the grand scheme of things all come to fruition with Aegon's birth. Rhaegar isn't TPTWP— and it spurs him into action. A weight is off his shoulders so now he can act. As in the case of crowning Lyanna, when the purpose of a task is not to honor or elevate him, we see Rhaegar able to perform in ways he could not before.

Namely there are two veins: acting against Aerys and seeking out information of the prophecy, but Rhaegar's general direction (through the Riverlands past Harrenhal) seems to indicate that he was headed towards the Ghost of High Heart. Not Summerhall, a place of mysticism meant to soothe Rhaegar. Rather a place of pain. The Ghost of High Heart who gorged on grief at Summerhall, who only ever demands Jenny's song (which Rhaegar seems to have wrote), who sees in Arya who looks like Lyanna, who looks like Jon, death. But instead of ever making it there... Rhaegar meets Lyanna.

And then they disappear. There are the Rhaegarwars to consider so I'm just going to say that, at the least, Lyanna did not want to marry Robert though society dictated that she must, and in removing her, she was removed from this. From there she came to be in Dorne in a place that was desolate desert, but similar to Summerhall, which was also abandoned, held something of magic in that it was near where Those Who Sing The Song of the Earth had split the Arm of Dorne. We can say a lot more about this but that's not the point of the post. I have explained Rhaegar as a person disconnected from his mother, later a person who in several manners refuses to act as Aerys did towards Rhaella, indicating that disconnect troubled him — Rhaegar's limited amount of close relationships with people he admired and the deep loyalty shown to him, presumably for a reason — Rhaegar's willingness to interrogate himself & his assumptions about the world.

So when I say Rhaegar was relieved what I mean is that upon suspecting and, to his mind, confirming that he was not the fulfillment of Aegon's prophecy, Rhaegar became proactive in ways he had yearned for but not been able to before. The Rhaegar that died with Lyanna's name as his last word was not a Rhaegar who died thinking the world was doomed without him. I think the Rhaegar that died on the Trident was a Rhaegar who had escaped the shadow of fate only to meet it, face to face.

[clare-875]

Everything to Me (Kuroo x Reader)

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Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader Summary: You feel like a nobody next to him, he proves you wrong Warnings: hurt/comfort, some bullying Note: The above image does NOT belong to me [Haikyuu Masterlist]

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Kuroo knows something is wrong the instant your bubbly demeanour diminishes, leaving an unnatural silence in the air. He sees it in the way you avert your gaze, how you keep your head low, how you quietly vanish from your usual spot by his side. Most of all, he sees it in the depths of your eyes; the conflict, the wavering of your usual certainty. You can't help it. You, so usually confident and proud to stand by his side despite the jealousy of girls who look enviously, have dug yourself into a hole you see no way out of. The more you try to convince yourself you're okay, that you deserve the love he so willingly gives you, the more you find the echoes of your mind convincing you otherwise. Maybe it was in the flickers of low voices that surround you when you pass dimly lit hallways. "Look at her, she doesn't deserve him." Maybe it's in the way they nitpick, eyes clouded by their disdain. "She isn't even that pretty" Maybe it's their voices coated with sweetness as they try to snatch away his gaze. "Kuroo-san, please can you help me with this."

Maybe it's in the depths of your own mind, playing games with you and prompting your own demise. But how could you not? He, so smart and witty, quick to offer help and retorts during class. He, the Captain of Nekoma's volleyball team, fit and form captivating all who look long enough; and they always do. He and his caressable hair, unkempt but soft and tempting. He who gathers compliments, admirers and popularity all the same. He who stands next to you; but what about you? What could you offer? You could give yourself credit; you were smart and not unpretty, but you also felt so extraordinarily ordinary. Next to him, you would not stand out, sometimes you would feel so far away as girls you thought of as prettier, smarter, and more popular seek his attention, their sharp gaze on you. The worst was when they would not look at you at all; when they would speak as if you weren't even present, like you weren't even worth their sympathy. Kuroo was kind and loyal, he would push them away gently, would speak of his indifference to them politely, so much so they would act as though he had complimented them instead. You wondered if it was because he pitied you; forgotten in their shadows.

Now it was all you could think about, and you wonder if you would ever break free of the chain of thoughts you had tied yourself to. It kept going on and on, and it wouldn't cease. You felt the fear creep up on you next. What if he realised... What if he left? So, you separated yourself from his presence, hoped that time would end the suffering, and if it didn't you hoped it would at least dull the blow of his inevitable leave. But you should know better. This is Kuroo Testuro, your boyfriend, someone who knew you more than anyone would, and he would notice your actions; the struggle etched in your eyes. It had been a few days and you had hoped he did not realise your abrupt absences but of course he did. You found yourself cornered, as he refused you leave the empty classroom the both of you were in.

"You've been avoiding me." You expected his anger, his swift dismissal but all you hear is worry as you refuse to meet his eyes. "Did- did I do something wrong?" You freeze at that, the slight tremble in his voice, the anxiety muddled within his words. You look up shaking your head quickly, not wanting him to doubt himself when he is so perfect to you. However, you realise it's a mistake as you see his face clearly; you see his pain. He seems more tired than usual, the soft skin under his eyes slightly bruised with lack of sleep. He seems tense as though he is bracing for something; like he's bracing for the worst. He observes the shake of your head and you see his brows furrow in confusion, eyes sharp but gaze gentle as he takes a tentative step towards you. "Then what's wrong, why have you been acting so distant?" Your head rings and pounds with his words but they muffle under the weight of all the other voices stuck chanting in your head.

"Why does he stay with her?"

"He'd be better off with me."

"I bet he just pities her"

"She's nothing"

You can't help it as hot tears pour down your face, and you feel the warmth reach your cheeks. You feel it all, the pain of holding in all the thoughts that rake your mind, all the embarrassment and torture. It comes out as you try and fail to stop a sob creeping up your throat. Kuroo's eyes widen instantly at your rare and blatant show of utter pain; of sadness. He moves as swiftly as your cries come and you feel his strong arms embrace you gently but securely. You feel yourself lose the strength within yourself as you grasp desperately at his shirt, body shaking at the weight of your gasps and cries. Through it all he is silent and patient, he doesn't mind the way your tears now seep onto his skin or the way you allow yourself to be vulnerable. If anything he is thankful you allow him to hold you. If anything he is angry. Who did this to you? Who made you feel this way? Many moments pass by when you are finally able to collect yourself and you gently release yourself from his embrace taking in a shaky breath.

"[y/n]," Kuroo mutters after he allows you to compose yourself. His hand is sure on yours as his other gently lifts your face to his. "Please," his voice is almost desperate as he looks at you, "tell me what's wrong. Did someone do something?" You look to him, the way he wants nothing more than to ease you of the burdens you have allowed yourself to drown in. You feel guilt build as you force your reply through your throat. "I'm sorry," you mutter much to his confusion. Why would you apologise? "I just... haven't been feeling great about myself lately. I think... I think they were right, I'm not enough, I'm not smart enough or pretty enough. You deserve so much better, I- I'm nothing compared to you-" Before you can continue Kuroo tightens his grip on your hand, forcing your eyes on him once more as you look up surprised at the rage that now fills his face, but it takes you a while to understand that the anger isn't directed to you. But himself. How could he not have shown you just how worthy you are of his love; just how much you mean to him?

"[y/n]," he shakes his head at your words, eyes remorseful and stern. "You- you don't know just how much you mean to me. You're so beautiful, you're so kind, you're so smart, you always listen to my science puns and always laugh. You remember my favourite foods, can list out every dislike I have, can name every movie I've watched, every place I've visited. You always come to my games and are always my loudest supporter. [y/n]... you're everything to me." Your eyes widen at his proclamations of adoration for you, heart pounding as he looks so earnestly at you. "When you started avoiding me, I thought you wanted to break up or something, do you know how horrible this week has been without you?" His tone is more gentle now, more teasing and light as it has always been.

"I'm sorry to say, but you're stuck with me, besides you’re the only one who actually laughs at my science jokes." He grins as you smile slightly at his words, feeling silly all of a sudden, feeling the weight lift off you and your lungs able to breathe again. His gaze then becomes more sure and serious as he pulls you closer to his side, kissing the top of your head. "I'm sorry I didn't realise sooner," he muttered against your skin, and you looked up to him heart warm at his words as you allow yourself to take in a breath and shake your head. "Thank you, Tetsu." He grins at your nickname pulling you closer and glad to have you back by his side. "Don't ever avoid me again, understand? And you're gonna tell me who "they" are." He says looking at you, as your eyes widen at his words. Nevertheless, the next time you even heard an utterance of an insult when you passed, Kuroo was right behind you proclaiming loudly how much he, "hates girls that gossip," and how much he adores his beautiful girlfriend. Needless to say, they never bothered you again, and Kuroo never gave them a minute of his time, forever and always devoted to you.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

any thoughts on lilias parenting style?

I’ve long held the belief that Lilia is not the “best” or “perfect” parent in TWST, but I love that he’s so imperfect yet is willing to learn and grow from his failures and shortcomings. It’s really commendable how far he has come, especially considering that he used to be much gruffer and made claims like he never wants a child or he’s not suited to be a father and is repulsed by the very idea of it.

It’s sad to think about how, for the longest time, Lilia believed he was incapable of loving others—both receiving love and giving it in a parental capacity. He says as much to Meleanor before what could be her last stand. Bro has so much love to give 😭 and it’s so fascinating to see book 7 focus on that love between parent and child, blood be damned.

Of course Silver is the quintessential child we all think of whenever Lilia’s parenting is brought up. Silver says it must have been tough for Lilia to raise him as a single parent and with limited knowledge of human children—but Lilia still did it, and out of the kindness of his heart, for an infant who was essentially a complete stranger. However, as far back as the human-fae conflict of Briar Country, Lilia was literally throwing his life and reputation on the line for his “children”. He protected Malleus’s egg with his own body. He provided the magic that would shave off several hundred years from his lifespan to ensure that his prince hatched. He allowed himself to be chased out of the capital city but still made the time to be there for Malleus, as well as shielded Silver from the ugly truth. In modern day, we also see Lilia him imparting sage wisdom onto his boys and making efforts to help them with their own downfalls: advising Malleus on the differences between fae and humans, asking the other first years to watch over Sebek, inviting Malleus to events, reminding Sebek to be kind to his human peers, etc. Above all else, Lilia promotes understanding, and wishes for a world where all the races can live together. He leaves Silver with the same sentiments, and in him, Lilia’s legacy of love can live on.

As I said briefly mentioned before, Lilia isn’t perfect. He’s putting his own life in danger and taking the emotional brunt of the events of the past for them. He hides the circumstances surrounding Malleus’s birth, the truth behind Silver’s origins, and many other details pertaining to the warring period. In modern day, Lilia is quick to make an exit when the dark carriage comes for him, trying to save his boys the agony of a prolonged good-bye. There are also just general parenting failures under his belt: feeding babies milk through a cup (you’re supposed to use a fitted nipple, otherwise the baby could choke), not being concerned when Silver is missing + expecting him to come back on his own, general emotional insensitivity and unawareness (him laughing when Silver realized their ear shapes are different and they’re not actually blood-related), leaving Silver unsupervised in their forest cottage while he goes off to travel, taking his pranks and mischief too far (thus causing trouble for Silver, such as Endless Halloween Night), his… cooking… etc. He does manage to mend some of those issues (like having the Zigvolts help watch Silver or letting slightly older Silver housesit with the animals), but other issues like the milk in a cup persist. Additionally, Lilia can be inconsistent with his emotional awareness, as he does not realize his Halloween mischief would worry Silver as much as it did. At the same time, Lilia is overall more in tune with his son’s feelings (he’s one of the few who can read the notoriously stoic Silver’s emotions flawlessly). However, Lilia still prioritizes keeping his childrens’ eyes away from the truth and instead is shouldering the pain for them. We find ourselves circling back around to all the sacrifices Lilia has made for Malleus, Silver, and yes, even Sebek—and I’ll bet that Lilia is willing to go the distance and do more.

I actually wonder if Lilia’s “I’ll shoulder everything for you” parenting originates in part from him overcompensating for the love he never received as a child. He was an orphan taken in as a ward for his country, shunned by the Briar Valley senators for being some filthy bat with no proper lineage to speak of. He didn’t get the girl he crushed on and instead lost her and his best friend (still MIA) to the war. He was banished from the capital and loathed for his mere existence. He had things thrown at him and was chased out of cities. Lilia has experienced so much hatred and vitriol that I would not fault him if he turned bitter and sent that same hate and vitriol back. That would be the easy thing to do. But… he has also experienced great kindness and acceptance along his travels. Strangers inviting him into their homes. People telling him about their lives. Offerings of food and a warm bed. It is through these experiences that Lilia is shown an alternative: a world of love, not war. Then, upon seeing these children in need of guidance, he sees a younger version of himself in them—lonely (Malleus, isolated in his castle), lost (Silver, without his parents), confused (Sebek, about his half fae/half human identity). He knows what could become of them if he lets hate envelop their hearts. And Lilia doesn’t want what he suffered through to befall them, nor a future where the same vitriol is perpetuated. So… he throws himself into ensuring these boys have a guiding star, someone who champions empathy and cooperation between all races, at the cost of himself.

It’s fascinating to consider that Silver (the one who was most closely raised by Lilia) reflects his father’s teachings but also Lilia’s self-sacrificial behavior, even though Silver isn’t fully aware of what Lilia gave to raise him. Silver consciously believes that he hadn’t done enough to “pay back” his dad (similar to how Lilia may have taken Malleus under his wing to “pay back” his debt of Maleficia taking him as an orphan in and not being there for Meleanor in her final battle). To compensate, Silver keeps pushing himself to do things like suppress his own sadness at Lilia’s farewell party, taking physical blows for Lilia, and even believing that he isn’t worthy of Lilia’s love. I guess the sayings “like father, like son” and “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” are applicable here.

Anyway! Lilia as a father (whether literally or figuratively) will never not be interesting to me.

[cassiebones]

Character Analysis: Rio Vidal

(because Aubrey Plaza currently has a chokehold on my psyche)

It hasn't been confirmed on the show, but we all know that Rio is Death, correct? They're not even being subtle about it, so I'm gonna take it from that angle.

Okay, so Rio is ageless. She prefers to take the form of Aubrey Plaza because Aubrey is a hot motherfucker. Agreed? Okay.

I have no idea when she would have come into existence, only because I have no idea the nature of Death in this universe. Is she one of many deaths? She must be, because people die all over and she has enough free time to build this hate/love relationship with Agatha, whom she finds the second the Darkhold stops hiding her.

I think she may specifically be Death for witches. She ferries magical humans to the other side, and has done since magic was first invented.

She was never a child, never a newborn. She was fully grown and cognizant from her inception, born knowing what her job was for her entire life. She existed in ancient times, seen by many mortals as different gods/goddesses. She took the shapes they'd already imagined her to have. She was Anubis, Hades, Shinigami, Osiris, Hecate, Charon...whom were all different entities, but she took their forms to bring comfort to the recently departed.

I feel like Rio had a lot of empathy for the first thousand or so years of doing this job. She listened to life stories as she ferried magical beings to their next journeys. She learned about society, about expectations, about why one might choose not to stay on the mortal coil, or why one might be taken from it by force.

She comforted the ones reticent to leave their physical bodies. She held the hands of too many young witches, taken too soon because of the fear that surrounded them. That's who she had the most empathy for: young, misunderstood witches.

Her empathy fades as humanity progresses. Witches are still persecuted, but many of them get on her nerves. They think so highly of themselves. They think they Death owes them something, that they deserve a second chance at life.

Nobody gets a second chance at life.

And while it's her job, she starts to kind of resent it. The spirits that won't leave piss her off. They disturb the living as often as they can and Rio gets blamed for it. This is why she hates ghosts.

But there's nothing she can do.

And then she meets Agatha. Agatha who is young and powerful and so scared when they first meet. Agatha, who has just caused the deaths of her entire coven. Agatha, who didn't mean to cause so much destruction; she just needs to be properly taught.

So Rio teaches her. I think they would have this kind of relationship where Rio fosters Agatha's talents, where she takes Agatha to places where she can be as destructive with her magic as she wants and nobody will judge or demonize her. And every time Agatha masters a spell or gives Rio that super proud smile, Rio falls a little more in love with her.

She revitalizes Rio's love for her job. And it's not like it's Agatha's fault that other witches keep attacking her. And it's not like she can truly control that siphoning thing every time it happens. It just is what it is.

Agatha feels bad the first time it happens, too. But then she takes on Rio's logic of "well, they shouldn't have done that then," and all is well.

Agatha is alive and safe and Rio gets more bodies to ferry, more work. She actually really loves her work, especially because it means she gets to spend more time with Agatha, who just can't stop getting attacked for some reason...

There are rules to her job, of course.

First and most important rule: Death cannot kill. It is a conflict of interest. It wouldn't be very fair to give herself more bodies to ferry. Soon enough, there would be none left. In theory, at least. It's like insider trading, in a way.

Another one: Death cannot bring back life to one who has died. That is also not fair, and it's actually not even something she can do. She isn't Life; she's Death.

And: Death must ferry souls as soon as possible to the other life. Souls that linger too long become ghosts and it gets harder for them to cross over. It's considered a failure on her part when a Spirit becomes a Ghost.

She regrets ferrying Nicholas. That was her son, too. I will entertain no other theories. She loved that kid. She was just as much his mother as Agatha was. She knew how much it would hurt Agatha, but she also knew that she couldn't allow Nicky to become a ghost. It would be a torturous existence for them both. And if Agatha had her way and reanimated his body, forcing his soul to remain there, it would be so much worse.

It is her biggest regret and the only scar she has.

She doesn't have to lick wounds to heal them. That's just something she does for Agatha. Agatha either doesn't know this or doesn't fight it. I cannot even decide which one is funnier.

Rio is more than her job, though.

She is also a bottom.

Only for Agatha.

Moving on.

When Agatha uses the Darkhold to disappear, whatever beacon spell they'd had on each other since practically the beginning of their courtship is interrupted. She cannot find Agatha. She cannot even see Agatha, not even if she was two inches from her own face. Agatha makes it so they never run into each other, no matter whom she kills.

And then Wanda gets the Darkhold and it's like a fire alarm blaring in Rio's ear. She goes immediately to Agatha's side.

Yes, immediately. You know that was not a three-season delusion that Wanda put her under. "Agnes" had many, many different TV shows running through the spellbound mind. She just wasn't broken out of it until Teen got there.

Herb was so nonchalant about her little "true crime bug" that there had to have been several different medical series, soap operas, firefighter shows, other cop shows, comedies, home improvement shows, reality shows (The Real Housewives of West View?), and a mockumentary or two that came before it.

And Rio was a guest star in all of them, willing Agatha to just wake up. But Agatha didn't recognize her. She just knew that she hated her, in every single mind show. She just hated Rio Vidal.

And Rio was just in a hell of her own making, trying desperately to break Agatha out but not knowing how.

She loves this woman so much. All the threats to kill her and telling others where to find her? Foreplay. I can totally see them trolling each other as they ran around New England, pointing fingers at one another, calling out "Witch!" and snickering as the torches are lit.

Their sex breaks down houses. They have done it in a grave. Rio attempts to murder Agatha at least twice a day at their peak; it's called flirting, Jennifer.

Agatha, obviously knowing that Rio can't actually kill her (and she cannot kill Rio for obvious reasons), feels safest when she's around. Because Rio defends her. She knows the things that Agatha has done and she loves her (not in spite of them, but sort of because of them. Girl's a freak.) anyway.

And Rio hates her mother-in-law, Evanora, with a passion. She definitely has a list of people she hates from all the souls she's had to ferry. A lot of white Puritan men are on that list for their role in the Salem Witch trials. But Evanora is #1 on that list. It's on sight for that bitch.

And I think that makes Agatha soft for Rio. Because nobody has ever defended her against her mother, for her whole childhood. Nobody except Rio.

Which is why Agatha is definitely the one who proposed.

It was a mundane kind of day. Her powers had just killed another coven. Before they attacked, however, one of the witches called Agatha a "Witch-Killer" and said that her mother had always been right about her. She'd heard of how evil Agatha was as a child and this just proved it.

Rio's hands had glowed green and as she took the woman by the throat, slamming her against a tree, screaming at her, telling her about how the true evil was the woman who hated her own child so much as to plan a whole execution after abusing her for her entire childhood. How Agatha was a survivor and so much more powerful than her mother could ever hope to be. And that witches like her had to wake up to it and--then the witch blasted Agatha and it was all over.

Rio huffed as she dropped the empty husk of a body, glaring at the spirit as it floated above it.

"That was your own fault," she said. "If you had just listened to me, none of this would have happened."

The witch just glared and Rio rolled her eyes, collecting the souls of the other witches who had attacked Agatha along with this dumb with.

"I'll be right back," she promised Agatha, who was still thrumming with magic.

"Marry me!" Agatha said as Rio disappeared.

She was halfway through with the job when the words registered in her mind. She got them across in record time, returning to find Agatha on her knees, waiting for her, a purple ring of something she'd made from magic. She was smiling up at Rio, tears in her eyes.

"What did you say?" Rio asked, her heart pounding.

"Marry me," Agatha repeated, her voice tight. "Rio Vidal, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Rio dropped to her knees and tackled Agatha to the ground, raining kisses down on her while Agatha laughed.

And then they got married and lived happily for a century or two, until they had a son. I have no idea how Nicholas came to be. I have no idea why he is a Scratch rather than a Harkness or a Vidal. But I know he had two mommies who loved him more than anything. Rio probably never thought that she could be a wife to anybody, let alone a full mother, but she loved that boy. And she loves Agatha.

Rio has a big heart and she's a bit intense, but we love that for her.

11/10 character

[lurkingshan]

10 Things I Love About Only Boo!

*kicks down the door* I'm a few weeks late but I have arrived and I am here to yell about this fucking adorable show. Have you heard that it's the cutest shit you've ever seen in a fresh new package of all your favorite silly old romance tropes? Besties, this is truly the Sunday Serotonin we need. Here are the top 10 things I love about it:

The main romance is between a confident sunshine protagonist and a kind older boy working through his grief and an artistic block. Mok (Moo) and Kang are such nice boys, two cinnamon rolls too sweet and pure for this world, and I loved them instantly. They have a nice crackly chemistry between them and really solid communication right from the start.

The setting is rural and refreshing. Moo moves to Nakhom Pathom to attend school for a semester because his mom wants him to focus on his studies before she will allow him to pursue a career as an idol. Little did she know she was delivering him to a cute boy who would become the new distraction.

The crushing and flirting starts immediately, and it's mutual. They just like each other, man. Kang is (slightly) older and trying to be responsible about keeping Moo focused on his studies so he's putting up some token resistance, but it's very very token. They both find excuses to keep seeing each other after they meet.

There's a side couple with a long-term pining friends to lovers arc. The way I squealed when they revealed that photo wall. I support you, Payos, you will get your boo. These two also have a lovely, easy chemistry and seem so comfortable around each other. Their characterization also gets a fun twist in the beginning of the story.

The writing is strong and assured. This was written by the same screenwriting team as Cooking Crush, aka the best written original Thai bl of last season. These folks know their way around a smart romcom. They know how to deploy classic tropes so they feel fresh, build authentic character arcs, and make all the beats of the story feel confident. We are in good hands and don't need to worry about any out of left field conflicts or weird plot turns with this one.

A fresh new cast brings a ton of energy. I really love all four of the main actors for this show. They're young and bright and breathing some new life into an old formula. And both pairs have solid chemistry and seem comfortable in their scenes together.

Some of our old favorites are here too. They've made the smart decision to bolster the young main cast by surrounding them with more experienced seniors like our lady Milk, here playing Kang's friend and neighbor who is all up in his crush on Moo. Louis and Book are also going to show up at some point.

The show incorporates music and dancing in such a charming way. Moo is one of those kids who just has to dance, and the show mines a lot of comedy around his efforts to stifle the impulse as his mom ordered. I don't think he'll hold out for long, though, because Payos and Tae are on him to train with them. And of course the music supervisor is having a great time working in some classic GMMTV music gags (yes, Love Score and Too Cute To Handle both make memorable appearances).

It's a high school story brimming with youthful energy without being mired in immaturity. The tone of this show reminds me of My School President in the best way, in that it has all the sweetness and innocence of a high school romance without making the characters so immature and bad at communication that it's annoying to watch. As expected from the CC writers, these characters may be inexperienced but they are going to talk to each other and honesty will prevail every time.

We are only three episodes in and the romance is already well underway. This is the kind of show where we will see the main pair flirt and date and face obstacles together. The swoony moments started immediately and Moo is already throwing around the faen title. We know from the synopsis that the core conflict will come when Moo is forced to choose between his relationship with Kang and his dream of being an idol, and I expect he will be finding a way around that choice. I'll be strapped in for the ride because I already believe in these two.

[bomber-grl]

Nico Di Angelo x Opposite!Child of Zeus ⚡️

Pairing(s): Nico Di Angelo x Gn!Reader

Like all his relationships with others, he’s initially very withdrawn

His only impression of you was that you were this golden child and obviously felt distaste

He doesn’t much care for you, why would he? Then there comes the inevitable pairing up and he just happens to be paired with you

This was when the 7 and everyone aboard the Argo ll were in Europe and the two of you were chosen to go and get rid of some monsters surrounding the area

It wasn’t anything notable and was just a small security measure on the side

So while he took down anything that could pose as a threat he faced back at you just to realize you weren’t doing anything

Of course he sneered at you and wondered what all the hold up was about

Only to find out that the child of Zeus, someone who’s so intimidating and ready to strike at any small offense would be so timid and passive at the face of literal monsters

It’s almost laughable. Almost

He sort of scolds you (?) if you can even call it that

It’s more eye rolls and scoffing if anything but he chooses to just do it by himself

Honestly the more he thinks about it the more he’s shocked and kind of upset

What do you mean you’re more than capable of using your great powers and strength and yet you choose not to?

His initial thought process is ironic considering he grows to accept that you’re just the way you are and there’s nothing he can do

And although he seems just like a ray of sunshine /s , he eventually learns to really appreciate your nature

After the whole issue with Gaea is solved he finds himself more drawn to you

Maybe he’s just tired of having to fight all the time and maybe brooding all the time is getting a bit much

Whatever excuse he chooses to give you, he’s eventually drawn to your calm demeanor

It’s quite a contrast to his own intense nature and he finds himself feeling more centered and less isolated around you

Nico never knew he could be pretty protective

He knows you can defend yourself, you’re more than capable but because of your timidness you’re unable to stand up for yourself

That’s obviously where he comes in, and because of his well known reputation as a child of hades- he’s effectively able to scare them away

Now, we all know about Nicos little argument with Jason and how he’s got an “easy life” and doesn’t have any struggles

Well not exactly what he said but it might as well be

But Nico also learns that he was wrong with that and especially towards you

You both have challenges you face and expectations placed on you, being children of the big 3

All these stuff combined lead to the two of you truly bonding

Going back to Nico being drawn in to you being quite peaceful and stuff he eventually is able to be more open and vulnerable with you

It was obviously awkwardly painful for him but he managed to

And it’s obviously appreciated

After being a couple he understands that you need to assert yourself more because, cmon??

He’d never push you out of your comfort zone because it’s not like you’re a complete push over

Although there is likely to be conflicts with Nico just because of his powers and known reputation at camp and ppl just wanting to start shit

Yknow cuz you’re passive and he’s pissed asf then you’re bound to clash a bit

[thelampisaflashlight]

The ghouls, but I revamped my headcanons about them, because why not? Let's go.

-Aether, Dewdrop, and Mountain were brought into the church around the same time, but Dew arrived first, making him the "eldest" of the three ghouls... while also, coincidentally, being just slightly older than both Aether and Mountain in actual age as well.

Of the three of them, Mountain is the peacekeeper, Aether, much to the shock of many, is the troublemaker (he enjoys picking fights with people who are being jerks), and Dew is the thinker.

-Cumulus and Cirrus were summoned around the same time Swiss was brought into the pack. Having been raised on the surface by his mortal father, Swiss didn't really have much of a connection to his demonic side until he found the church, but even then, he had a lot of trouble adapting to life there.

Thankfully, both of the ghoulettes were more than happy to take him under their wing and teach him all the fun parts of being a ghoul.

He looks up to them in the same way one might look up to an older sibling, and he treats them both with respect as both his mentors and his friends.

-Rain was summoned during a rare thunder snowstorm towards the end of winter, which resulted in him developing an odd ability to control electricity. Usually, lightning is seen as a fire/air based element and can only really be harnessed by multi-elemental ghouls, like Swiss or Aurora, but Rain is, in so far as he knows, pure water.

He mostly uses this ability to hunt fish in the lake, charge his phone or laptop, or as the occasional self defense mechanism, because why would he throw a punch when he can effectively taser someone with his fingers?

-Dew, like Swiss, was born and raised on the surface, and grew up leading a normal, human existence until he fell to his death while lost in the woods surrounding the abbey during a thunderstorm.

His death lead to him landing himself in Limbo, where he was given a second chance at life (at a cost, of course) and learned of his demonic inheritance.

Unlike Swiss, who found comfort in discovering his ghoul side, Dew felt deeply conflicted by it and did not immediately join the church, though he was allowed to stay largely because Terzo saw promise in his abilities (musically and magically) and encouraged him to stay.

-Aeon goes by both Phantom and Aeon, but it depends on who he's talking to/who is addressing him, kind of like how you might go by your middle name with friends, but your parents call you by your first name.

For things like ministry paperwork and meetings with important figures, he's called Aeon, but amongst the pack, he's largely called Phantom or Tom-Tom as a nickname.

However, the name Aeon is also used by ghouls that are considered his "seniors", such as Aether and Omega who held his station before him, and Dew, because he refuses to call him Tom-Tom (and because he's old, but don't let anyone hear you say that).

-Cumulus is one of the only ghouls that maintains a home away from the abbey during the off season, and, as of right now, none of the other ghouls have been invited to stay there. It's nothing against any of them personally, Cumulus just likes having her own space that's truly hers, and she spends so much time around the others normally that she needs a break from them sometimes.

-Similarly, Dew has a habit of "wandering off", though he's usually just off on vacation, and, when in doubt, can typically be found simply by asking where he is.

Usually, he's not far from the abbey, as he tends to keep to his "territory" like a cat left to roam, but on the rare occasion he's broken containment (left the country entirely) he's like a ghost.

And lastly;

-Cirrus has been known to hang out in one of the many cemetery plots on the abbey's grounds, and has befriended an alarming number of spirits, who often tell her secrets and information about people who currently live on the grounds or passed there in some form or another.

Because of this, Cirrus knows things that could be devastating if revealed, so she has to be careful about not letting slip information that wasn't given to her by either the individual themselves and/or is already "common knowledge".

She's on incredibly bad terms with some of the abbey's residents as a result of letting slip personal details about their lives, even if she meant to use it as a means of defending them, and it has made it difficult for her to make friends outside of her packmates, which in turn results in her befriending more inhuman entities and ghosts.

[obey-me-disaster]

What do you think would happen if MC respawns at a different location after the lesson 16 death? Like purgatory hall then MC somehow convinces Simeon, Luke, Solomon, Diavolo and Barbatos to hide their resurrection from the brothers. MC stays at purgatory hall and takes online classes for the rest of the exchange program.

The whole time the brothers think MC is permanently dead but what if MC slips up and accidentally likes a selfie by Asmo on devilgram would that raise any suspicion? How would the brothers react to MC being alive the whole time?

Please, MC liking selfies while pretending to be dead is so fucking funny like: 'I need to keep a low profile...anyway let me appreciate one of Asmo's photos on devilgram, where all the demon bros could see'

Warning: mentions of death

Demon brothers x gn!MC headcanons

MC hides the fact that they are alive

They don't know exactly what happened after Belphegor got them. All they could remember was pain, a voice talking into their head and then complete darkness. When they woke up they were in the Purgatory Hall with Simeon, Solomon and Luke surrounding them.

While not being able to remember the last moments before blacking out, MC was smart enough to put two and two together and realize what happened. Belphegor killed them. After everything they have done for him, he took their life away without hesitating.

When Solomon and Simeon started to question them, MC decided to keep the truth away. They made up an excuse about needing to hide somewhere, and the two angels and the sorcerer were all to happy to let MC stay with them.

Their plan was to stay hidden until the exchange program would end, but of course old habits die hard, so without thinking too much they liked one of Asmo's posts. That's when all the demon brothers found out and all hell broke loose.

Lucifer

He would be furious at MC for hiding themself, tho he can't blame them, at the Purgatory trio, Diavolo and Barbatos for helping them keep the secret but most importantly, he would be upset with himself.

He would fly straight to the purgatory hall and demand some explanation. Why did they hide, why couldn't they talk with him. He keep thinking of the fact that if MC didn't slip and post that selfie, he would have never found out they were alive.

A part of himself greatly blames himself because if he would have put more effort in keeping them out of the attic, none of this would have happened, hell, if he was a good brother from the start everything would have been ok.

On the outside he seems angry but on the inside he is full of mixed emotions: happiness because they're alive, sadness because MC hid this from him, anger at the others for hiding this from him. He doesn't even want to think about the fact that if Asmo didn't see their like, that he would have never been reunited with them.

He will have a long talk with MC, whatever they want to or not.

Mammon

THIS MAN IS CRUSHED. He thought MC has died. He held their 'corpse' in his arms. He has been a shadow of who he was all of this time only to find out that MC has been chilling in the Purgatory Hall??

He might not visit them for a while. He is way too conflicted. He is in denial about the fact that they hid this secret away from him. He was their first man, you two weren't supposed to hold this kind of secrets from one another.

He would probably go on about: "I am not friends with any humans that would lie to me like that, I don't know anyone like that!" flashbacks to season 1 of the OG obey me

He has been blaming himself for not being able to protect them this whole time. He probably had nightmares about their death.

Once he sees them he will have to hold himself back from rushing to them and embracing them. He still wants to put up a front, but when the front finally cracks and hugs them, he will be all to relieved to feel them be alive once again in his arms.

Leviathan

His self hatred went through the roof. He would keep blaming himself for not doing anything. He didn't get to hold them in their dying moments, all he could do is watch. He felt like he truly lost the only person that could fully understand him.

When he found out they were alive he nearly rushed to the Purgatory Hall but stopped himself. If MC hid themself from him that means they don't want to see him right? They are disappointed in him for letting them die.

He spirals down so bad other brothers had to snap him out of it. He would probably send them messages or call them while crying. He didn't feel quite ready to face them yet.

He probably will watch anime/play games from a distance with them for a while. He wants to go see them so badly but fears they would be disappointed in him.

After a while he would probably hype himself with some 'The lord of shadows would never leave his Henry behind'.

Satan

He throws a little temper tantrum that destroys multiple rooms in the House of Lamentation. There are way too many emotions for him to deal with it at the same time to the point he feels like exploding.

He has felt useless ever since their 'death'. He could see the condition MC was in, he could see that they had no way to live, he could see all the injuries and knew how much they hurt but even with all of that, he could not think of a way to save them. All the learning and reading was for nothing in that moment.

He probably knew that MC had good reasons to remain 'dead' but it didn't mean he was not hurt. If it wasn't for them liking Asmo's post by accident they would have went back to the human world, never to be seen again.

Another one that waits a little bit, but that's because he wants to be as calm as possible, they had to deal with an angry demon, he is sure they don't want to deal with another.

Once he finally decides to see them, he takes them on a walk to talk things through. Only if they want to of course

During their walk he will insist of having a detailed talk about how both of them they were feeling, there was no more wrath he could feel at the moment

Asmodeus

The moment he saw MC liking his post he went wild. He probably started to text them like crazy. If they didn't respond he would call Solomon, Simeon, Barbatos, anyone he could think of.

He ran straight to his brothers to tell them about the fact that MC was alive and was probably one of the firsts that went to see them.

Once he found out they were alive it was like something awakened inside of him and he felt all the longing he held towards MC come back in full force.

After telling his brothers he is going to the Purgatory Hall to see MC and scream at Solomon for hiding something so big from him.

He 100% cries to MC about missing them and does not care his make up will be ruined.

Since his brothers need more time to calm down, he will take his sweet time catching up with MC and checking in on how they are doing if they will let him

Beelzebub

Another one with a lot of guilt. He couldn't protect Lilith from death, he couldn't protect Belphie from his hatred and he couldn't protect MC either.

He is hurt by the fact that they've decided to hide from everyone at the House of Lamentation but he can't hold it against them

One of the first to go see them. He wants to see with his own eyes that they are truly alive and well, or as well as they could be after dying

Would try to hug them but stops himself thinking it would be a bad idea. The last time a demon has offered MC a hug they got unalived. If MC does accept his hug, they will be carried around for a while since Beel would refuse to let them out of his grasp

He had been guilt-ridden since their 'death'. His eating habits have been all over the place. From not being able to eat to going on rampages due to painful emptiness in his stomach. Just seeing MC being alive made Beel's hunger go back to its normal self.

Belphegor

Because not only did the bros think MC was dead for good but because MC was not there to repair his relationship with his brothers, Belphegor is pretty much secluded from his brothers.

Barbatos probably still told him about the whole Lilith thing. He had to deal with the fact that not only was his hate misplaced for centuries but also with the fact that he killed someone he really got attached with, someone his brothers got attached with.

He had no one to blame but himself this time, had no one to help him manage all of these feelings, he pretty much is on his own. Sure, his brothers are still there but their relationship is strained as fuck.

When he finds out MC is actually alive he does see it as his chance to make it better but he doesn't go to see them. Not straight away at least. He is smart, he knows why they probably wanted to remain 'dead'. He is the reason for that.

He will give them time, he will let his brothers have their turn first, even if he doesn't like it, because he knows that's the least he could do for all of them. He only wishes he was not so blinded by anger and resentment, especially since it was so misplaced.

[dancingintherainwithchifuyu]

Ichiji Vinsmoke x Fem Reader

Part 1

Chapter 2

About:In a kingdom where marriage is power, a princess finds herself at the center of a political scheme. When the ambitious Vinsmoke family arrives, intent on winning her hand to secure an alliance, each of the brothers vies for her favor. But it’s the stoic Ichiji who catches her attention—despite his cold demeanor and sense of duty.

Warnings:Arranged/Forced Marriage,Mild Violence, Conflict, Emotional Manipulation,Slow-Burn Romance,Toxic Family Dynamics,Class and Social Hierarchy

Tags: @fic-dumpster @omi-replies @firstdivisiongirl @kazenomegaminowanpisu @livid-basket

As (Y/N) steps back into the ornate ballroom, she takes a calming breath, determined to shake off the lingering nerves from earlier. The lights gleam off her elegant gown, making her look radiant, and it doesn’t take long for several noblemen to notice her arrival. Almost instantly, a small circle of suitors surrounds her, each one vying for her attention with polite, eager smiles and well-rehearsed compliments.

"Princess," begins one of the noblemen with a confident grin, bowing gracefully. "Your reputation precedes you. I’ve heard tales of your kindness and intelligence—qualities rare in such beauty. It would be my honor to make your acquaintance." His words are polished, yet his eyes hold a spark of ambition.

Another man, slightly younger but equally bold, quickly steps in. "Princess, did I mention I was recently appointed as captain of my father’s fleet? A mere task, of course, but one that I’ve accepted with great pride. Perhaps one day, you would grace us with your presence aboard one of my ships?" He says, flashing her a hopeful smile.

(Y/N) offers a polite nod, listening to each introduction with practiced grace. Her eyes flit between the suitors as they each take turns boasting of their achievements. One boasts of his family’s wealth, another of his talents in the arts, and yet another—bolder than the rest—leans close and promises a life of adventure beyond the palace walls.

Though she’s outwardly calm, (Y/N) can’t help but feel the pressure of their attentions building. Each man’s voice blurs with the next, the constant flattery and boasts becoming overwhelming. Her smile, however, remains as poised as ever, her laughter soft and practiced. Despite their charm, each compliment and attempt to win her over seems hollow, lacking the sincerity she yearns for.

One young lord, bold and beaming, steps up first and offers his hand with a practiced flourish. "Princess, might I have the honor of the next dance?" His voice is confident, and he looks at her as though already convinced of her acceptance.

Before (Y/N) can respond, another nobleman quickly interjects. "Forgive me, Your Highness, but I believe I asked first," he insists, stepping in front of the other man and bowing with a polite yet determined smile. "A lady of your grace deserves only the finest company."

Undeterred, a third suitor—a taller, older man with a charismatic smile—leans in and speaks, his voice smooth. "Surely, Princess, you would enjoy a dance with a man who can offer you both comfort and adventure." His hand lightly brushes her arm, causing her to step back, a bit taken aback by his forwardness.

(Y/N) offers a soft smile, keeping her composure, though her eyes dart around, feeling the crowd of suitors closing in. Their voices blend as each one tries to outdo the other, some bragging about their families' wealth and influence, others describing their supposed bravery on the battlefield or their skill in the arts. Their compliments, though flattering, feel overwhelming in their intensity.

One of the suitors, apparently more forward than the rest, dares to step close enough to reach for her hand. "Princess," he murmurs, his tone dripping with charm, "surely you wouldn’t deny a man his one chance at happiness tonight?" His words are so exaggerated that, despite herself, she nearly laughs.

"Please, gentlemen, one at a time," she says softly, her tone polite but firm, trying to steady the situation. But her plea goes largely ignored as they continue to call out, each man desperate to capture her attention.

Suddenly, the atmosphere shifts, and the murmur of the ballroom falls to a hushed silence.

Entering the room with an unmistakable air of command are the Vinsmoke brothers—Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji. Dressed in their formal attire, they cut a striking presence, each of them bearing the same unmistakable blend of confidence and authority that immediately puts the other suitors on edge.

The forward suitor who had reached for (Y/N)'s hand retracts it instantly, looking as though he’s been caught in some forbidden act. One by one, the others shuffle backward, some of them clearing their throats awkwardly, their initial confidence waning as they cast wary glances at the infamous trio.

Niji, with his usual smirk, seems more amused than anything, his gaze shifting between (Y/N) and her flustered suitors. "Well, well. Seems the Princess has quite the crowd tonight," he remarks, his tone teasing.

Yonji chuckles, crossing his arms over his chest, his green eyes gleaming with mischief. "I can see why. But shouldn’t we have the chance to make her acquaintance first?"

Ichiji, ever composed and reserved, steps forward, his cool gaze fixed on (Y/N). He dips his head slightly in greeting, his voice steady and confident. "Princess, we’d be honored to escort you this evening." Though his words are polite, the faint edge in his tone makes it clear that this isn’t a mere suggestion.

The other suitors, already unnerved, take the cue and disperse, leaving the Princess alone with the Vinsmoke brothers. The crowd's murmurs fill the room again, but the once-overwhelming presence of admirers has melted away in the wake of the Vinsmokes’ intimidating aura.

Niji steps closer to (Y/N), offering a playful grin. "My apologies for interrupting your… conversation, Princess," he says with a half-bow, clearly reveling in the discomfort he’s caused among the other men. "Though I’d say we’re better company, wouldn’t you agree?"

Before she can respond, Yonji chimes in, his voice laced with a hint of mischief. "And if you’re looking for a dance partner, I’d be happy to volunteer. I may not be a poet, but I can keep up on the dance floor."

Ichiji remains silent, observing her reaction with his usual stoic expression, though his piercing gaze doesn’t leave her. He doesn’t need to speak to make his presence felt, and (Y/N) finds herself momentarily caught in his intense stare.

For a moment, (Y/N) feels both a sense of relief and renewed nervousness in their company. The Vinsmokes, though intimidating, are at least straightforward. And while their motives might be unclear, the attention of the three brothers is certainly something she can’t ignore.

“Princess,” Ichiji greets her, his voice as calm as his stare is piercing. He offers a slight bow, just enough to satisfy decorum. “Ichiji Vinsmoke of the Germa Kingdom.” His tone holds a subtle authority, his posture perfectly poised. He’s careful, almost too careful, as he appraises her.

Before (Y/N) can respond, the blonde beside him steps in. “Niji Vinsmoke,” he says smoothly, flashing a smirk as he bows. “And you must be the enchanting princess we’ve heard so much about.” His eyes flick over her in open appraisal, and there's a glint in them that she can’t quite read—amusement or calculation, perhaps. “Rumors don’t do you justice.”

Finally, the youngest of the three, with wild green hair, offers a brief, almost careless nod. “Yonji. Pleasure to meet you.” His grin is mischievous, bordering on challenging, as if he’s daring her to see past his casual demeanor.

(Y/N) gives a small, polite smile, though her gaze darts between the three of them. She’s heard stories—whispers of Germa’s military prowess, their calculated strength, and the Vinsmoke brothers’ formidable reputation. But in person, they are both more charming and intimidating than she expected.

Ichiji speaks first, his words blunt and efficient. “I imagine you’re familiar with our kingdom’s legacy?” he asks. “The Germa Kingdom has always prioritized strength and loyalty.”

“Yes, I’ve heard some things…” (Y/N) replies, careful with her words. “The tales are… unique.” She watches their reactions closely, not missing the brief exchange of glances between the brothers.

“Ah, but tales hardly capture the reality,” Niji cuts in with a smooth laugh. “They make us sound ruthless. But we’re much more… versatile.” He smirks, almost as if he’s enjoying her curiosity. “Strength and strategy are essential, but we also understand the importance of alliances.” He leans closer, adding in a lower voice, “And charming the right people.”

(Y/N) feels a blush creeping up her cheeks but holds her ground, feeling the weight of their presence. She turns to Yonji, who’s watching her with a grin. “Is that what Germa values, then? Alliances and strength?” she asks, only half-joking.

“Among other things,” Yonji replies, glancing around the room as if the whole place bores him. “Let’s just say we prefer getting what we want.” His tone is playful, yet there's an edge to it that makes her pause. “Besides, it’s more about respect. When you have it, most obstacles… disappear.”

Ichiji speaks again, his tone more measured, almost as if he’s trying to soften his brothers’ bluntness. “We’re here as allies, Princess, to support your kingdom’s goals. Germa may have its methods, but we value loyalty above all.” His gaze on her is intense, as though weighing her response carefully.

Reiju, still standing nearby, finally joins them. “They’re showing off,” she says with a small smile, playfully rolling her eyes at her brothers. “Don’t mind them. We’re not all as… direct.”

(Y/N) laughs, grateful for Reiju’s warmth, though she’s intrigued by what she’s learned. The Vinsmokes are clearly as formidable as the rumors claimed, but beneath the bravado, she senses a deeper motive. She has a feeling this is just the beginning—and that the Vinsmoke family has plans far beyond simple alliances.

As the music swells, Niji extends his hand. “Would you honor me with the next dance, Princess?” He flashes another smirk, and though (Y/N) hesitates for a moment, she accepts, unsure of what to expect.

As they move to the center of the ballroom, she glances back, catching Ichiji’s stoic expression, Yonji’s sly grin, and Reiju’s gentle nod. The game has only just begun, and (Y/N) realizes she’s now in the center of it, under the watchful eyes of Germa’s most powerful family.

The sound of the waltz fills the air, the elegant rhythm echoing across the ballroom. Reiju steps into the shadowed alcove, her eyes immediately locking onto the swirling figures of her brothers on the dance floor. Her gaze softens when she sees Niji leading (Y/N) through the steps of the dance. A small smile tugs at the corner of her lips, though it remains controlled—calm.

Beside her, Ichiji stands with his usual stoic expression, though his eyes follow the pair just as intently. Yonji leans casually against the wall, his arms crossed, clearly intrigued by the unfolding moment.

"She's certainly handling Niji well," Reiju murmurs, her tone light, but with an edge of approval.

Ichiji doesn’t respond immediately, his focus unwavering. His lips are set in their usual firm line, but there’s a subtle flicker in his gaze. "She’s more composed than I expected."

"She seems to know how to handle herself in the face of attention," Yonji adds with a teasing smirk. "Though, Niji’s not the easiest dance partner to manage."

Reiju chuckles softly, though there's a glint of concern in her eyes. "Yes, but she’s holding her own. There’s something about her, isn’t there?"

Ichiji lets out a quiet hum of agreement, his expression unreadable. "She’s different," he says, his voice quieter now, as if he’s mulling over the words carefully. "It’s more than her beauty. There’s an… ease about her."

Yonji looks between his siblings, raising an eyebrow. "You’re starting to sound like you care, Ichiji. Are you already charmed?" His voice is playful, though there's a hint of curiosity underneath the teasing.

Ichiji doesn’t answer right away, but his gaze doesn’t leave (Y/N), who’s laughing softly at something Niji said. The way she moves, the way she smiles—it’s something new to him. Something he didn’t expect from someone raised in such a different environment.

Reiju watches them quietly for a moment before stepping forward slightly, her heels clicking softly against the marble floor as she turns to her brothers. "I hope you aren’t making her too uncomfortable. She’s still adjusting, and we’ve been thrust into this situation quickly."

Yonji tilts his head, a smirk playing on his lips. "Don’t worry, Reiju. Niji knows what he’s doing."

Reiju gives a small nod, her gaze shifting back to (Y/N) as the dance comes to an end. She watches (Y/N) smile at Niji, clearly enjoying herself despite the tension of the evening. Reiju’s heart stirs for a moment—this is her family’s legacy they’re talking about. This is a marriage that could secure Germa’s future. But she also knows how much her brothers need this—how much they need to learn to navigate their new roles.

As the song comes to a close, (Y/N) gracefully separates from Niji, her smile lighting up the room. She looks around briefly before her eyes find Reiju, and without hesitation, she walks toward her. There’s an undeniable warmth to the way she moves, a refreshing contrast to the cold grandeur of Germa.

Reiju’s expression softens when (Y/N) approaches, her eyes glimmering with an almost maternal kindness. As she stands before her, Reiju lets out a small, reassuring breath. "I see you’ve met my brothers," she says, her voice gentle and soothing, as though offering (Y/N) a safe space amidst the overwhelming attention.

(Y/N) nods, a small laugh escaping her lips. "Yes, they’ve been very... attentive."

Reiju chuckles lightly, offering a knowing smile. "They do have a way of making their presence known. But don’t let them overwhelm you. They mean well."

(Y/N) smiles warmly, though there’s a glimmer of uncertainty in her eyes. "I’m just trying to keep up."

"You’re doing just fine," Reiju says, her tone sincere, her eyes full of genuine warmth. "Don’t be afraid to take things at your own pace. No one here will fault you for that."

As Reiju speaks, her brothers continue to watch from a distance, their eyes shifting between (Y/N) and each other. There’s an understanding forming between them, though it remains unspoken—this alliance is more than just a political one. It’s a new beginning, one that will change everything.

But for now, (Y/N) stands beside Reiju, a small smile gracing her lips, the soft and warm reassurance from the woman before her helping to ground her in this chaotic world.

The music continues to play in the background, a gentle waltz that lulls the room into a state of comfort. As the evening progresses, (Y/N) finds herself standing with the Vinsmoke siblings, the weight of her new life settling on her shoulders. She had heard so many rumors about them—how cold and distant they were, how they were nothing more than tools of their father’s will. Yet, as she stands here with them, they don’t seem like the villains the rumors painted them to be.

Instead, they seem... normal. Almost.

Niji stands at the edge of the group, smiling at her with that usual charming grin. Ichiji, as ever, stands with his arms crossed, his stern face giving away little of his thoughts. Yonji is leaning casually against a pillar, his mischievous smile never leaving his face. Reiju, with her calm grace, stands nearby, but her eyes are alert, watching the room carefully. The tension between them is subtle but present—like an invisible thread that binds them together, but each sibling in their own way.

(Y/N) takes a small step forward, her voice soft but warm as she smiles at them. "It’s nice to finally speak to all of you properly. I’ve heard so many rumors, you know," she says, her tone playful. "About how dangerous and cold the Vinsmokes are."

She pauses for a moment, then adds with a twinkle in her eyes, "But you don’t seem so bad to me."

The comment lingers in the air, and for a brief moment, the siblings exchange glances, all of them a little taken aback by her directness.

Niji is the first to laugh, a smooth chuckle that causes the others to relax just a little. "You have quite the courage, don’t you? Most people are too afraid to even approach us after hearing those rumors."

(Y/N) tilts her head, her smile never faltering. "Well, I think rumors are just that—rumors. They don’t always tell the full story." Her gaze moves from Niji to Ichiji. "You all seem... different. More... human, I guess?"

There’s a small pause, and then Reiju’s soft laugh fills the space. "Human, you say? You’re the first to ever say that. Most just see us as extensions of our father’s ambitions."

"Which, in some ways, we are," Ichiji’s deep voice chimes in, his tone quiet and thoughtful. "But we're also individuals. We have our own paths to walk." He looks at (Y/N), his eyes softer than she expects. "Though not many people see that. They only see the bloodline."

(Y/N) nods, a spark of understanding flashing in her eyes. "I can understand that. It must be frustrating, having people judge you before they even meet you."

Yonji grins, his arms still crossed as he watches her with a knowing expression. "You’re not like the others, are you? You don’t seem intimidated by us at all." He steps closer, his voice teasing. "You don’t even flinch when I smile."

Her lips curve up into a playful smile of her own. "I think your smile’s nice, Yonji," she says lightly, making him chuckle. "But really, I just think we’re all human, aren’t we? We all have our strengths and weaknesses, but that doesn’t mean we should be defined by one thing alone."

There’s a brief silence after her words, the siblings exchanging another round of looks, and Reiju’s expression softens just slightly. "You’re an interesting one, (Y/N). You have a way of making others feel... at ease."

(Y/N) shrugs, her hands clasped in front of her. "I just ask questions. Like, how was your journey here? I hope you didn’t run into any trouble on the way."

Ichiji tilts his head slightly, clearly surprised by her thoughtfulness. "It was uneventful. Our trip here wasn’t anything special. But it’s not often that someone asks about the journey itself. Most just want to know our plans or how we’ll impact the kingdom."

"I suppose everyone is just trying to make sure they’re on the winning side," (Y/N) says, her voice thoughtful. "But I think it’s good to focus on the little things too. Like... getting to know the people you’ll be living with."

Yonji raises an eyebrow, a sly grin tugging at the corner of his lips. "You think we’re the type to sit around and chat about the little things? You're in for a surprise. But I can’t say I’m not intrigued by your perspective."

Niji leans in slightly, giving her a wink. "You might be onto something. We don’t often get asked about the simple things, like how our travels were. People usually want to know about our power or our... abilities."

"Well, you’re more than just your abilities," (Y/N) responds lightly. "I’m sure there’s more to you all than what’s just on the surface."

For a moment, the siblings seem almost speechless. Niji opens his mouth, but before he can speak, Reiju gently intervenes, her voice smooth but pointed. "It’s true. People tend to focus on what’s most visible. But (Y/N), you’re different. You’re not intimidated by what you’ve heard. You want to understand who we are."

(Y/N) smiles, a little sheepishly now. "I just... wanted to talk to you all. You’re not like the rumors, and that’s something I wanted to see for myself."

There’s a soft hum of silence, the room around them seeming to slow down as the four siblings look at (Y/N) in a different light. Reiju’s eyes, usually so calculating and guarded, soften with something like approval. Niji’s usual playful expression remains, but there’s a flicker of something deeper in his gaze. Yonji’s teasing smile is still there, but it’s gentler now, as if he’s been disarmed by her earnestness. And Ichiji, ever the stoic one, finds himself nodding slightly, though he says nothing.

"Well," Reiju says, her voice gentle yet firm, "I believe you’ve earned yourself a much more interesting conversation than you bargained for."

(Y/N) grins. "I’m just glad to finally talk to people who aren’t judging me right off the bat."

The conversation flows from there, the siblings no longer seeing her as just the princess they need to win over or manipulate. She’s a person—a person who is willing to see beyond the surface and ask the questions they’ve been too used to ignoring.

As the night carries on, (Y/N) finds herself feeling more at ease, the weight of her new world not quite so heavy on her shoulders. There’s something about being in the presence of these siblings, despite their reputation, that feels oddly comforting. And for the first time since her arrival, she can’t help but wonder if, maybe, this marriage might not be the prison she feared it would be.

The ballroom is full of whispered conversations, the sound of soft laughter and polite clinking of glasses filling the air. As (Y/N) converses with the Vinsmoke siblings, she remains blissfully unaware of the eyes watching her. She’s too focused on keeping the conversation going, on being warm and inviting. Her smile never falters, her tone never drops, as she asks them about their travels, about their lives, about everything and nothing all at once.

But there are others in the room, too—the nobility who look at her with calculating eyes, their whispers carried on the breeze like poisoned darts.

“I heard she’s too soft for this kingdom,” one woman says with a dismissive flick of her wrist. "She’ll never last long. Her kindness will be her downfall. She’s too naïve to understand the weight of what she's stepped into."

“I agree,” another woman murmurs, her voice dripping with malice. "A kingdom like this... it’s not a place for someone like her. She's probably too busy playing the innocent princess, but we all know it’s a game to win their hearts. She’ll be an easy target."

Their laughter is quiet but venomous, each word a little cut aimed at the heart of (Y/N). They’re sure she won’t hear it, but Reiju does. She’s standing not far off, her attention split between her brothers and the gossiping group of noblewomen. Her expression hardens as she listens to the cruel words being spoken about (Y/N).

The princess, unaware of the whispers, continues talking, smiling as she listens to Ichiji explain the finer details of his most recent mission. But Reiju’s eyes narrow, a flicker of something dark behind them. She crosses the room effortlessly, her heels clicking sharply against the marble floors, her presence commanding the attention of those nearby.

She approaches the group of noblewomen, who immediately fall silent when they notice her. Reiju’s gaze is cold, and her smile sharp, her demeanor one that could freeze the very air around her. She tilts her head, voice sweet but with an edge that makes the women uneasy.

“Such interesting things I overheard,” Reiju says, her tone laced with mock sweetness. “I didn’t know our dear princess was a subject of such... concern.”

The women stiffen, suddenly aware that they’ve been caught in their own cruelty. One of them, a particularly haughty noblewoman with an elaborate headdress, attempts to laugh it off. “Oh, Lady Reiju, we were only discussing—”

“I know exactly what you were discussing,” Reiju interrupts, her smile widening just a fraction. “And I must say, it’s very brave of you to gossip about someone you barely know. Especially when you have no idea what they’re truly capable of.” She steps closer, the temperature in the room dropping with each step. “Perhaps you should remember your place, ladies. (Y/N) is not someone you should be speaking about so flippantly.”

She doesn’t need to raise her voice or make a scene. Her presence alone is enough to make the women shrink under her gaze. They exchange uneasy glances, and for a moment, the room feels smaller.

“You know,” Reiju continues, her voice dripping with a false sweetness, “I might just tell (Y/N) exactly how concerned you all are about her. It would be a shame to see such friendly advice go to waste.” Her eyes flick to each woman in turn, her gaze cutting like a blade. "But, of course, if you’d prefer to keep this... private, I’m sure we can all pretend this never happened.”

The noblewomen exchange hurried looks, their posture straightening as they attempt to salvage what little dignity they have left. “Of course, Lady Reiju. We apologize for our words,” one of them stammers, her eyes averted.

Reiju’s smile doesn’t falter. She’s not done yet.

“It’s unfortunate,” she says, voice laced with cold amusement, “how quick people are to judge others, especially when they think no one is listening.” Her gaze sweeps over the women again, her eyes narrowing with a dangerous glint. “I’d suggest you take a closer look at (Y/N) before you pass any more judgment. You never know who might be watching.”

Without waiting for a response, Reiju turns on her heel and walks away, her posture as regal as ever, leaving the women to stew in their shame.

As she returns to the corner where (Y/N) stands, the princess is still deep in conversation with Ichiji, her smile as radiant as ever. Reiju watches her for a moment before approaching, a quiet sigh escaping her lips.

She steps up beside her, her tone gentle. “I see you’ve been making quite the impression on my brothers,” she says, her voice carrying a quiet amusement. "But be careful. Not everyone here has the best intentions."

(Y/N) turns to her, unaware of the gossip that had just occurred. “Oh? What do you mean?”

Reiju’s gaze softens, and she places a hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder, a surprising gesture of protectiveness. “People like to talk, especially about those they don’t understand. But don’t let it get to you.” She gives a small, reassuring smile. "I know my brothers and I may seem... intimidating. But not all of us are as cold as people make us out to be."

(Y/N) looks at her with gratitude in her eyes, completely unaware of the conversation that had just taken place. “Thank you, Reiju. I know they’ve probably said things about me... but I just don’t think it’s worth worrying over. If I can be kind to someone, that’s all I need.”

Reiju’s eyes flicker with something like admiration, though her expression remains carefully neutral. “You’re different,” she says softly, her voice almost a whisper. “And that’s not always a good thing in this kingdom. But maybe that’s exactly what it needs.”

The conversation fades into the background, the noise of the ballroom becoming a distant hum. Reiju watches as (Y/N)’s smile never falters, and despite the sharp words of the other women, it’s clear that the princess remains steadfast in her belief that kindness could change the world.

The gentle morning light filters through the curtains, and (Y/N) stirs in bed, her dreams fading into the soft sounds of footsteps approaching. A light knock taps at her door, and three of her trusted maids;Mira, Elise, and Annabelle enter, each carrying a small tray filled with breakfast delights.

Elise, setting a tray on her bedside table “Good morning, my lady! We didn’t mean to wake you too early, but we thought you might need a little extra energy today.”

Mira, grinning mischievously as she places a steaming pot of tea on the table: “Besides, we’ve got so much to tell you!”

(Y/N), still nestled in her blankets, sits up with a sleepy smile, blinking at the trays laden with fresh pastries, fruit, and a delicate, frothy tea. She accepts a warm cup from Annabelle, who’s already giggling with excitement.

“You’ll want to hear this, my lady! I’ve never seen anything like it—so many suitors, here all for you! Some have been waiting since dawn!” Annabelle spoke sitting next to her.

(Y/N), chuckling and rubbing her eyes: “Since dawn? That’s… impressive, I suppose.”

Elise said “Impressive, indeed! But wait until you hear about last night! The ballroom was still buzzing long after you left. And—” she lowers her voice, leaning in conspiratorially, “—there was quite a bit of talk about you and the Vinsmoke family.”

Mira raises her eyebrows, offering a plate of delicate pastries as she speaks. “Everyone was speculating, my lady! There were whispers that the Vinsmoke sons were rather taken with you. Especially the eldest… a lot of the young noble ladies seemed quite put out by it.”

(Y/N) laughs softly, breaking off a piece of a flaky croissant and popping it into her mouth.

(Y/N): “Oh, dear. I didn’t mean to cause any drama.”

Annabelle, waving a hand dismissively: “Oh, it wasn’t you causing it, my lady. It was them!” She smirks, nudging Elise. “I heard one of the ladies say they’d ‘never seen Ichiji look so… attentive.’”

Elise giggles, passing (Y/N) a plate with fresh berries. “And Niji didn’t seem to mind dancing with you at all! The way he kept close was… well, very bold.”

Mira, pouring tea with a smile: “And then there’s Yonji, of course—he was following you around with a grin like a puppy. I don’t think I’ve seen him take such interest in anyone before.”

(Y/N) blushes, sipping her tea to hide her smile. She’s used to the girls’ chatter, but the genuine excitement in their voices makes her feel a mixture of flattery and amusement.

Annabelle, sitting beside her on the bed as if they’re sharing secrets: “And now, after such a grand entrance with the Vinsmokes, you have a line of suitors downstairs waiting for you. Some even brought gifts—flowers, silks, even a few precious gems!”

Elise, rolling her eyes playfully: “Oh, but some of them looked like they were just trying to outdo each other. One even asked if you’d be interested in falconry—his prized sport, apparently. As if a princess has time for such things!”

(Y/N) laughs, the image of herself with a falcon perched on her arm seeming a bit ridiculous. The maids join in, their giggles filling the room as they continue to primp and prepare her for the day.

Mira, brushing out (Y/N)’s hair carefully “I suppose they’ll all be trying to impress you, but honestly, my lady, none of them seem half as interesting as those Vinsmokes.”

Annabelle spoke up excitedly “Oh, you could see it last night, couldn’t you? Each of them seemed to have their own way of trying to charm you.”

(Y/N), thoughtful but amused “They were… different than I expected, I’ll admit. I thought they’d be so distant, with all those rumors about them, but they seemed… well, more human than I expected.”

Elise, gently pinning a few hair strands back with pearls “Perhaps they felt the same about you, my lady. It’s not every day they meet someone who isn’t intimidated by their reputation.”

The other maids nod in agreement, adjusting (Y/N)’s gown and adding delicate jewelry to complete her look. They continue to talk, sharing little anecdotes and thoughts about the suitors below, some overly eager, others almost comically trying to seem dashing.

Annabelle, smiling as she hands (Y/N) a mirror “You look beautiful, my lady. They’ll all be smitten in an instant."

(Y/N) glances at herself, taking in the careful work her maids have done to make her look her best. Their excitement and warmth fill her with courage, and with one last glance at her friends, she takes a deep breath.

(Y/N) “Thank you, truly. You’ve made all of this feel much less daunting.”

[ryuichirou]

So we know what his lovers do that drives Idia crazy (in a good way). How about the inverse, what does Idia do that drives them crazy?

You know what, Anon, my first instinct was to start talking about how Idia deliberately drives Azul nuts sometimes, and even you saying “in a good way” didn’t stop my train of thought. Yes, it is good that Azul gets pissed off at Idia! Idia is having fun, so it can’t be bad! lol

Jokes aside, this is actually a very good question. We did talk about what drives Idia crazy the most about his partners, so let’s think about it in reverse… I’ll only talk about our main boys, of course.

Azul – aside from situations when Idia teases the fuck out of him and Azul gets riled up because he wants to spank his ass lol I think Azul really enjoys Idia’s “evil genius” moments. If they have the same goal, and Idia suggests something effective, smart and truly wicked, Azul feels such a strong and nasty urge to kiss him or do other stuff with/to him. Also, when Idia runs fingers through his own hair while he’s thinking on his next chess move whenever they play. Azul stares when it happens.

Ortho – wow, this one is surprisingly tough! I see two options: when Idia acts unexpectedly and doesn’t give Ortho prompts that he expects, thus making his AI work harder and get confused sometimes; while that doesn’t happen very often, when it does happen, Ortho gets frustrated because of this misunderstanding and defaults to physical interaction if words don’t work lol But the second option is that sometimes Ortho just gets way too playful, and if Idia allows and enables it, Ortho gets so happy about it that he gets carried away. What I’m saying is that when Idia spoils him and allows him to do some new previously “forbidden” things, this is when Ortho goes insane (in a good way).

Lilia – when he sees the hesitation and hope in Idia’s eyes and knows that he really wants to say or do something, but just can’t. A lot of times he knows exactly what Idia wants, but acts oblivious because he wants to see this inner conflict in Idia’s eyes. The moment this adorable little sparkle of hope disappears and Idia looks disappointed in himself and starts avoiding Lilia’s eyes, this is when it’s Lilia’s cue to jump him. It’s like cuteness aggression lol Of course, he also loves it when Idia makes cute sounds, stutters or shakes after getting spooked by him.

Floyd – both of the Tweels love it when they get to chase Idia, or rather, it does drive them crazy. It teases something in them, I guess that’s just their instincts. But also, individually, Floyd really loves it when Idia gets fired up while playing videogames. He just finds this kind of Idia very unusual and exciting… also, he becomes so oblivious to his surroundings when he’s winning in a game, that it’s very easy for Floyd to bite him and hear him squeal. So funny~

Jade – whenever Idia purses his lips and gulps audibly, with his Adam’s apple jerking nervously. Also, whenever Idia tries to stay still, as if he is waiting for the predator to go away, and his eyes start to get teary a little bit. Idia’s shoulders also shake very cutely, and Jade could almost hear his heart going insane. Whenever it happens when they are alone together, Jade really wants to run the tip of his tongue right under Idia’s eyes to collect the tears, but at the same time eat him alive.

Sebek – whenever they argue, it does get Sebek angry and annoyed, but also there are some sparks of arousal that he feels when things get very heated, so I can’t ignore that lol But also, I think Sebek would get genuinely enamoured while watching Idia building something. It’s like he instantly forgets how easy it is for Idia to get him super mad because what he sees right now is… beautiful. Whenever Idia gets tired and stretches while moaning quietly though, Sebek blushes for some reason and looks elsewhere.

[tacticaldiary]

Hey there! Love your stuff! I was just reading some of your work for our favorite Scotsman and I was wondering if you would be so kind as to feed me more.

Picture this, Soap and Reader have been a thing since like forever. On the “Alone” mission or something, reader goes on a rampage to find her sweet sweet Johnny.

A Still Beating Heart

Pairing: Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish x Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

"Like hell I was leaving you." Clicking her tongue, she shifts her focus on his wound that's bleeding through the hasty patchwork. "Not letting you bleed out now."

"You gonna kiss it better, hen?" A poor attempt at a joke.

"I'll kiss you all you want once we're safe."

A/N: This turned out way longer than I expected-

Masterlist

Rain obscures her vision as she runs, the image of Johnny hitting the ground after being shot playing over and over again in a dreadful loop.

He got away. He's gotten away. He's alright.

She chants it in her head over and over whilst navigating the winding streets of Las Almas.

"Watch it." Ghost barks yanking her to the side roughly when she almost crashes head-first into a crumbling brick wall. "Get your head on straight, Sergeant." Muted anger coats his words as he spits them out.

She grits her teeth in response, taking a second to survey her surroundings. They've stopped in an alleyway a good chunk of the way into the town. There's no doubt that Graves would be on their heels, they couldn't afford to stop for long.

Leaving two deadly soldiers who are witnesses wouldn't be a risk he'd take.

Three. She reminds herself with a fierce determination. Three soldiers.

How dare he. How fucking dare Graves turn around and betray them like he hadn't been their brother in arms for the last few weeks. The fact that he'd turned on them without remorse, shot her boyfriend without batting an eye was unforgivable.

Rage, hot and fierce scalds the blood running through her veins. Her mind is a storm of conflict, a desperate chant of Johnny's name on repeat. Between the anger, there's the blinding worry that accompanies it. It had all happened so fast she didn't get a chance to see where exactly he got shot, just that he'd fallen with a pained grunt, then Ghost was shouting at him to go.

Part of her rages Ghost him as well, for the way he'd roughly stopped her from lunging into the open to get to Johnny. It's not justified. Ghost had done his job as Lieutenant, had gotten them both and Johnny out of there in time.

Just barely in time.

While Ghost ventures farther into the alley, she clicks on her radio, switching through different channels. "Transmitting in the blind, does anyone copy?" She says into the device, frustrated when there's no answer, she flicks through the channels again and-

A raspy cough, a weak, familiar Scottish drawl.

She switches to it immediately, bringing the radio up to her mouth. "Johnny? I read you." The relief is palpable in her voice, a creature that settles with its claws still out. "What's your location?" She holds her tongue and her questions upon hearing heavy, raspy breaths from the other side. "Johnny?"

"Aye. 'S good to hear your voice." He manages. "I'm in...at the corner of a street. Edge of the town somewhere." There's a grunt from the other end, the rustling of gear and clothing as he sits up. "Is Ghost there?"

"Affirm." Her eyes snap to the man as he talks through his own radio. "There's a Church north side of the city. We'll recon there." His scouting must have resulted in something, then. It's a good plan, she'll admit. A structure with a solid vantage point gated off and less likely to be surrounded with its many exit points. Smart.

"Copy." Johnny's short response makes her frown.

"Can you make it?" She presses him. The short beat of silence has her heart sinking.

"'Course I can." He laughs but it's hollow. "Don't worry your pretty head about it. You'll see me in no time."

"Get moving, Soap." Ghost shuts down the conversation tightly, peering into one of the cracked open doors that lead into what looks like a clothing store. "Stay on my six," He tells her. "It's a straight path there, but we don't have a count on-"

"I'm going fetch him." Ghost exhales slowly, not turning around. "You and I both know he's lost an unknown amount of blood. I'm not risking losing him to that motherfucker." She snarls.

"You don't have his location."

"I'll scour the outskirts until I find him. You provide overwatch from the church. I will find him."

The fire in her eyes, the tight-strung posture...Ghost has little doubt that she would. They meet eyes, but she doesn't back down for a second, daring him to order her otherwise.

Finally after what seems like ages, he jerks his head behind him in silent, begrudging approval. "Thirty minutes, Sergeant."

"I'll only need ten."

                                  · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Tucked behind the counter of a grocery store, Soap clenches his jaw as footsteps pass through the window above him. This entire situation was a shit show.

The sting of betrayal was almost as painful as the insistent throbbing on his shoulder. He's already sure the bullet is lodged in there from the quick once-over he gave himself. Admittedly, it had taken him longer than he expected to get his bearings. Judging by the puddle of blood he woke up in, he'd already lost a good amount of blood before he'd roughly packed the still gushing wound.

Guerrilla warfare was bloody and made something vile crawl through Soap's veins. Every time he ties together rope and metal to pry open a door, or fashions a bomb out of a mousetrap, he can't help but think of the bodies he'd encountered on his path to the church. Children, women, men...nobody was spared by those fuckers.

It was vile, a kind of justice he didn't enlist to take part in. The very thing he's sworn to protect people against...

Soap is snapped out of his thoughts by Ghost's voice. They'd had some back and forth whilst they were moving, and Soap knows it's partly to keep him alert and present. Underneath Ghost's rough words, there was always a twinge of worry lacing his tone only someone familiar with the exact lilt of his mannerisms would pick up.

Once the footsteps recede, Soap groans quietly, pushing himself up to his feet with help from the wall. His legs protest, his arms ache and a deep exhaustion infects his mind, begs him to sit down for a few minutes and let go.

In an attempt to shake off the thoughts, he takes a deep breath and reaches for his radio to hear the one voice that always makes him snap to attention.

Soap's been thanking whoever was up there that she'd ended up safe with Ghost. It didn't ease his worry but it soothed it into something more bearable. She wasn't incapable by any means, but even the strongest person benefitted by someone equally capable by their side.

God, he hopes he reaches the church before he collapses.

Swaying suddenly, Soap curses under his breath and reaches to grab the counter to steady himself. In his haste, his arm crashes against a vase, sending it crashing to the ground.

The noise is accompanied by the yells of Shadows outside the store. Soap barely has time to curse himself out and make a lunge for the stairs before the soldier from before peers into the store, rifle at the ready.

Gunfire rains down on him, grazing his arm when he presses himself behind a brick pillar for cover.

Fuck. Fuck.

Sweat beads down his back as he struggles to keep himself upright, shaky fingers patting down his pocket for the knife he'd yanked out of a soldier's head an hour ago...has it been an hour? He doesn't know anymore.

Cautious steps approach him, his heart pounding against his chest as adrenaline pushes itself through his system.

It was strike now or get struck down. The element of surprise was the only advantage he had. His shoulder aches like a bitch but he sucks it up and tightens his grip around his knife.

It all happens at the same time.

Soap lunges out of his hiding spot, weapon raised as much as the fuzz around his vision will let him.

And he watches as someone else tackles the Shadow to the ground.

Soap stops in his tracks, tensing at the vicious way she slits the man's throat. Familiar hair, a body he's mapped out with his hands and mouth over and over again.

Her gaze snaps up to meet his, a shock down his spine.

"For someone so loud, you're good at staying hidden." She huffs, wiping the blood off of her cheek.

No. No, she couldn't be here. She was supposed to be with Ghost, not roaming the streets crawling with Shadows for...

For him.

The thought warms him from the inside out despite the situation. Who the hell is he kidding? He would have done the exact same thing for her.

The moment her hands touch his arms, all the energy seems to snap out of him. Johnny's knees give out, her hands barely catching him to lower him gently to the ground.

"Shit, Johnny?" Panic laces her voice. A hand slick with blood cups his cheek, slaps it gently to prompt his eyes to flutter open. "You gotta stay awake, okay baby? Come on." She doesn't relent until he listens, a hazy gaze focused on her.

"Ya shouldn't be here." He rasps out.

"Like hell I was leaving you." Clicking her tongue, she shifts her focus on his wound, bleeding through the hasty patchwork. "Not letting you bleed out now."

"You gonna kiss it better, hen?" A poor attempt at a joke.

"I'll kiss you all you want once we're safe." Hooking his uninjured arm over her shoulder, she helps her stand. Her heart clenches at the pained groan he tries to muffle. It's good that she had the sense to come back for him.

She doesn't want to think what might have happened if she'd been a second too late.

"That a promise?"

"A threat." She corrects as they stumble towards the backdoor. The weak snort she gets in response is more than enough to loosen the knot in her chest an inch.

Soap's laugh dies in his throat when they hit the streets.

"Jesus fucking Christ." He mumbles, looking around at the roads bathed in crimson.

Bodies and bodies of Shadows lay scattered around almost every alleyway they hobble through. Peeks through to the main roads show the same results. Black masked figures slumped over, limbs twisted and odd angles, necks slit open brutally.

"Had some fun getting to me, did ya?"

There's no response from her but a shrug.

There's no sorrow or remorse for what she had to do to get to him. A mantra of his name playing through her head, the desperation of getting to him and the rage of the situation mixed together had made each swipe of her knife, each broken bone easy.

She's painted the town red.

Johnny. She needed to get to Johnny and whoever was standing in her way had met their demise by viscous hands and an unforgiving sentence.

"I'm surprised you made it that far on your own." Keeping him talking was important. "Graves will face hell for what he's done." They duck into a street, the church in plain view.

"It's a bleedin' a war crime." Soap says. "Makes me want to commit a few of my own." His voice dips down to a growl. She shares the same sentiment.

"Amen." She mumbles back, peering out into the courtyard in front of them. A couple of figures patrol the area, breaking off of each other to peer behind parked vehicles and doors to different shops.

"Four hostiles in our path." A grimace. She gently lowers him down against the stone wall. "Stay here while I clear our path... not that you can go anywhere, actually."

Soap seems displeased about her going off on her own, but he knows that he's more of a liability than an advantage in a situation where stealth is valued. "Take 'em quietly."

"Copy." Her bloody knife spins in her hand. "Be right back, baby." Pressing a kiss to his temple, she slips out of the alley.

Johnny breathes out a shaky sigh, and lets his head hit the stone behind him. Itchy and restless from being able to do nothing, he loathes feeling so...useless. He's confident in her, how could anyone not be? But that doesn't quell the need to shield her from everything he can spare her from.

She was fiery and bright, everything he'd always wanted. She came into his life as a force to be reckoned with, butting heads with him and throwing insults back at his face as easily as he uttered them to her.

Love had hit him hard.

Stuck in his head, his eyes flutter shut against his wishes as he thinks. Just for moment, he tells himself. Just until she gets back.

Just a second of rest wouldn't hurt, right?

Somewhere in the depth of his mind, he knows that letting himself fall unconscious was the worst possible case in this scenario, but he couldn't have stopped himself if he tried. The blood loss makes him tired and lethargic and before long he's fallen into the inky depth of sleep.

                                  · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

It had all gone to shit.

Three of the four guards she'd taken down quickly. It had been almost easy how fast and quiet they went down, gurgling on their own blood as her knife slid across the chinks in their armour, the skin of their necks.

The third guard had been a little too trigger-happy, though. A twitch of his finger while he was choking had set his gun going off with a bang, a bullet embedded into one of the cars nearby.

It had been enough to alert every goddamn person in the vicinity.

She's glad she left Johnny behind, at least his position wasn't compromised.

Just as the street started filling up, her radio had crackled to life, Ghost barking that the church had been compromised and overrun, ordering them to meet him at the end of the street to secure a vehicle.

She was already there, all she had to do was keep her position and stop the Shadows from flanking her until Ghost got there.

"Copy." She mutters into the radio, setting up the rifle she'd swiped from one of the corpses over the hood of the cars she's ducked behind. "Eyes on a possible vehicle." She relays over comms upon setting sight on a blue truck close to her, relatively unscratched. Firing off round after round, the soldiers drop like flies. The armoured ones are a little tougher to deal with, and need a more precise aim but she manages somehow.

She curses under her breath as more of the pour from the stores and alleys into the streets.

Just a little longer. Ghost was almost here, then they could secure a vehicle, grab Johnny and get the fuck out of here.

Wrecking carnage in his path, Ghost emerges from behind a barrier after what seems like an hour, and together the both of them climb into the truck she informed him of. "Stop by the far alley and I'll haul Soap inside so we can get the hell out of here." She grunts, firing off shots from the back of the truck as Ghost starts the ignition.

She gets an affirmative and they're on their way, ducking at the sound of gunfire and barked orders following them.

She jumps out of the truck and runs into the alley where she left him. "Time to go Johnny, come-..." She halts in her tracks, into a dead stop at the scene in front of her.

Blood splatters the wall behind his shoulder, the wound aggravated and bleeding through the improvised bandaging in rivers of red down his arm. He's...he's pale, shallow gasps of breaths that are barely there making his chest move in movements too small to be healthy.

Ghost yells at her to make it quick, and it's her Lieutenant's voice that brings her crashing back to reality. Swallowing back her panic, she hoists Johnny up and drags him into the back of the truck, yelling at Ghost to move as she lays him down as still as possible.

Bullets ping off of the metal, but all she can focus on is pressing her hands to Soap's wound. She leans in close to feel him puffing out short gasps of air.

Still breathing, she tells herself as Ghost makes a sharp turn. He's alive, he's breathing, he's here, he's not dead. Alive, alive, still alive.

With hands shaky, she pulls out a proper roll of gauze from her vest, the emergency first aid pouch she carries is worth its weight in gold.

"Don't you fucking die on me, baby." She whispers, voice cracking. "It's not allowed." She wipes the worst of the wound with disinfectant before packing the hole with fresh gauze.

There was so much blood pooling beneath him in that alley...and how much had he lost before that?

He needed a medic, and fast. She wouldn't lose him. Not him.

Not her Johnny.

Not the person that could coax a smile out of her even if she was in the foulest of moods. Not Johnny, who always seemed to know what she needed, what made her feel better. Not the love of her life who she'd seen a life out of the military with.

Please, not him.

Time flies by and soon, Ghost pulls over in front of a safehouse. When he exits the driver's seat and comes round the back to asses the situation, his heart sinks as he finds her curled up over Soap, lips pressed to his forehead as she whispers to him, her hand carding through his dirty hair as if he might wake up to feel it.

"Let's get him inside." He says, tone oddly sombre. If he notices how wet her eyes are, he doesn't comment on it, merely helps her carry him in silence.                                   · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Rudy had been a godsend. His safe house had been packed with supplies much more useful to Soap. He'd taken one look at Soap, at her wrecked and frantic state, and taken over. Ordering her and Ghost to start studying the maps to the facility they planned to break into, he started his own inspection of Soap.

She can't focus.

The maps mean nothing to her. The lines, the marks, the circles. It was meaningless gibberish to her when her boyfriend was-

"He'll pull through." She blinks back into the present at Ghost's gruff voice, head snapping up to meet his gaze.

"He better." A shaky inhale.

                                  · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

When Rudy comes back to inform them that Soap is stable, her legs nearly buckle under her with a wave of relief. She pushes past him immediately to seek her boyfriend out, and finds him laying on one of the old cots pushed to the corner.

She takes a seat on the floor next to him, resting her head against the mattress. "You're an asshole." She mumbles after a second. "Scared the shit out of me, you know that?"

He probably can't hear her, but it doesn't stop her frayed nerves from talking. Her hand finds his and she squeezes it gently trying to bring some of her warmth into his cold skin. Sighing, she presses his hand to her forehead, shifting her grip so her fingers rested on his pulse.

Each steady beat loosens the knot in her chest, reassures her that he is alive.

Would he wake up soon? Would he wake up at all? The latter thought is quickly chased away, because there was no choice. Johnny had to wake up, he had to.

A world without him simply wasn't one worth having.

                                  · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Her back aches.

Forehead pressed into the mattress right by his waist, it's the first thing she registers as she's roused from where she'd dozed off. Blinking sluggishly, she groans as she feels a hand carding through her hair.

Just the right pressure, the feeling so familiar and warm and soothing-

Her eyes widen and she snaps up straight to meet a pair of tired but amused blue eyes studying her. Johnny's sitting up right in front of her, looking down at her in that soft way he always did.

"Rise and shine." He rasps out, and she almost sobs at the sound. Pushing herself to her feet, she wraps her arms around him the best she can without injuring him. "Easy." He winces at being jostled but holds her just as tight.

"Thought you were gone." She chokes out, trembling. "I thought-"

"I'm right here, bonnie." He whispers into her hair. "Right with ya. Gonna take more than that to do me in, right?"

She laughs wetly into his shoulder, as he runs a hand up and down her back as if she was the one who needed comforting.

Pulling herself together was a more difficult task than clearing the streets of Las Almas. Every time she thinks she's calmed down, she remembers how still and cold Johnny had been and she spirals all over again.

He clicks his tongue and manoeuvres them gently so he's laying down with her on his chest, careful to avoid his good arm. Her head is pressed against the centre of his chest, the sound of his steady heartbeat a balm against the rising and falling cycle of panic and grief she's stuck in.

Alive, alive, alive. Still alive.

Once her breathing evens out into something relatively stable, she tries to speak again. "Don't scare me like that again."

He hums. "I'll do better next time." A tired smile grows on his face as she pinches his side.

Alive.

He was still alive.

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(3/09/2023)

[carionto]

with the way humanity seems to be at the very start of the war with the coalition, are they preparing for a potential invasion of the solar system? Potential preparations might include: calling the members of the small outposts back to earth, like the ones that can’t defend themselves very long against a squadron (basically trying to get the more venerable humans out of coalition territory so the coalition can’t taunt them with losses), I could also see humanity putting all their shipyards at their max production rate, and potentially setting up a military blockade around the solar system. I know the first one seems a little weird, but they probably thought death kebab would be able to fend for itself, and guess what happened. Having all the engineers, physicists, and scientists back on earth would also be really helpful.

This is a classic situation of - you've thought about this more than I did, so now I am thinking about it some more as well :D

Let's start with the SuperweaponTM. The Coalition had been building their own Battle Moon prior to Humanity reemerging, and Humans one-upped it with Battle Moon x3 Plus Railgun. It's a move that everyone knows you must react to, cuz if you don't, that's still a world ending 600km long cannon. So you either build an even bigger one or destroy your opponent's (of course diplomacy is also an option in a more realistic setting, but eh).

The death of the Death Kebab was one of the expected outcomes, and it would never be a crucial part of any overarching strategy, more of a "It'd be cool to have for this occasion". It happened a bit more suddenly than anticipated, but such is conflict - you never have perfect information on your enemy.

So war it is. With Humanity on one side of the Galaxy and the Coalition somewhere about half-way across on the other. Plus there's the Federation that Humanity is part of (though I think the names are the other way around, but minor detail) so it's closer to a cold war with skirmishes along the border and neutral systems and stealth operations further within enemy territory.

As mentioned in the very first post - Humanity emerges with ships and weapons far superior to anything else in the Galaxy at the time, and in an arms race, where Humanity also competes with itself all the time, the Quality gap will take a very long time to fill. Quantity, however, is what basically everyone else has over Humans, and that's also not something that can change that quickly.

Earth has BS levels of protection with no chance of anyone actually surviving an invasion of the Solar system, and most of the official ventures further out are also kind of: "You're crazy smart people with crazy ideas about dinosaurs and teleportation swords and psionic ants - here's infinite money, go do science or whatever, tell us if you find anything useful, otherwise we don't want to know, but also we won't be surprised if you die due to #humans_are_dumb".

Overall as this is getting long: it's very haphazard and surrounded by layers of Intergalactic powers and politics - Humanity could destroy them if push came to shove (after all, how do you counter someone changing your system's gas giant's orbit to collide with your core industrial planet within a decade?), but do you really want to destabilize a large chunk of the Galaxy just like that with no proper plan for how to deal with the now liberated hundreds of planets and their people? And what do you do with the hostile remnants now scattered around without a central governing force? How do you deal with your fairly small self now becoming the actual practically proven boogeyman of the entire Galaxy?

Sometimes, even in a dumb universe like mine, being sensible at scale feels like the only natural path to take.

[evelhak]

I’m curious about a few: Propinquity, Anem and Bitchberg (a great name, lol)

Well, you've already read about Bitchberg by now from the previous ask. :D

Lol, I actually winced a little when I saw you asked about "Propinquity" since it's the current working title of my Akashi centric fic, and I know you don't find him that interesting. It's still just a bunch of "notes" (=bits of monologue and dialogue that come to me and I have to write down so I won't forget). I haven't actively started this fic yet, since I can't really write multiple projects at the same time. I will probably have to finish another shorter fic after The Luminous Things, before I get to this one.

I know the opening lines, though:

Winning is like breathing. Sometimes I wake up, gasping for air, but my lungs seem to have fallen into a partial state of paralysis.

Or something fairly close to that. The idea has been in my head for a long time, because I really enjoy digging up ignored dimensions that kind of naturally follow from whatever is going on in canon.

There is of course one thing in this fic that could interest you: The main love interest is an OC. :) You know some things about Azumi already. Here's a snippet that will probably serve as her introduction in the fic:

I absolutely pretended to be the empress of this micro-utopia, growing up. Not because it was mine to conquer, or control. Because it was mine to know. To pick apart. Explore, taste, and merge with. A little pocket of wonder in this huge city, a bubble with its own rules. That's what I came to realise pretty soon, anyway. About the world. How different, how illogical and ultimately unsatisfying it was, compared to my shrine, my home, my own ecosystem, my island of undisturbed ground. It frustrates me that the rest of the world doesn't know how to do it. Live and let live. Give and take. Circle of life. A system that works. Because I was born into it. An heir to it. Happiness.

Micro-utopias are a huge element in my whole fic series as it progresses, and there are several kinds of them, Azumi's home life being its own example. Utopia is generally something I'm really interested to write about, especially because a lot of people claim you can't write interesting utopia without making it dystopia in the end, and I very much disagree with that, as people are always imperfect, so you don't need to add any intentionally awful circumstances for a story to have conflict, if you're writing believable people. For me, the key to what makes the most out of utopia is to centre it around whose utopia it is and why. This got slightly off topic, these are just themes I really like exploring and since my fics are my playground, I definitely use them for exploration of things I might want to write later in a more polished form in my original fiction.

The working title "Propinquity" came while I was writing a chapter in The Luminous Things where Kagami ends up lost in Kyoto (it's complicated) and spends the night in Azumi's place, where he has many enlightening conversations with Akashi. (Azumi and Akashi are already together in my main fic timeline, their own fic will cover how they got together, among other things.)

Here's a snippet from the chapter also titled "Propinquity", which I haven't yet posted anywhere, so things might still change a little, but for now, Akashi muses something like this in it:

"[Propinquity] is the central theme of this shrine. Things develop, and change, and prosper in propinquity. It rings true, doesn’t it? Right things, wrong things… so it really matters what you surround yourself with. It’s not enough to know and think. You have to see, and taste, and touch… A plant wouldn’t grow from the understanding that it needs water, if it never got it. It would still die from poison, no matter how informed it was. Azumi knew all of this, so bone deep. That’s why she was disappointed with the world. That’s why she retreated back to her paradise. I think that’s what caught my attention at first. How she had a physical place to go to when she needed to get away."

I probably would not have developed any need to write a story about Akashi's love life on my own. (Well, it's not all there is to it, but it is a how-they-get-together type of story). It was the influence of my ex, who's a big Akashi fan, and as I have probably said before, Azumi was originally her OC that we worked on together a lot. Eventually I grew attached to Akashi and Azumi together, and now I have my own version of the story.

I don't think I actually read any Akashi x OC fics myself, but my ex read them and complained about them, usually, and I picked up on two pretty common patterns, which I didn't want to do: I didn't want the OC to be 1) poor, or 2) have a similar family dynamic and childhood trauma as Akashi. This is because I wasn't interested in dealing with the power imbalance that tends to come with very different socioeconomic standing, and I also didn't want to write a relationship where people get stuck in validating each other's trauma, and it takes them a long time to grow beyond that phase because their relationship is centred around how similar their experiences are. I wanted to hit that sweet spot which I like the most, a relationship that centres around growth, having enough common ground, and being inspired by things about the other that you've never experienced before, or even believed really exists in the world. The kind of relationship that makes you feel that you want to fill your own gaps, and a key factor in that is the proximity, or, propinquity to a person you can rely on, because they don't have the same weaknesses as you. I just really love writing about people who are good influences to each other.

A lot of this fic will also be about dissociation and trauma. Yay.

Anem, then, is another original novel I've started multiple times without being completely satisfied. The premise is pretty classic religious cult + good girl/bad girl dynamic, or at least would seem like that in the beginning.

Here's how I seem to have described it on my website at some point:

Dina is a good girl. She picks up flowers every morning, to put on the altar of her family’s home. She’s chaste, she’s beautiful. She fears God. Semira is a “Wild One”, she rarely goes to church, she speaks out of turn. She could be beautiful, if her hair wasn’t so short. Dina doesn’t think it’s her job to save Semira. After all, if the Fathers don’t know how to help the girl, how could she? But Dina keeps ending up spending time with Semira anyway, and the more she does, the stronger the big black swirling something grows in her stomach. There’s clearly something very wrong about Semira. And there’s something wrong about the woods surrounding their isolated village. Dina knows she’s supposed to stay away, but Semira keeps going into the woods.

It has a lot bigger world and anything but clear-cut themes and dynamics, even though it may seem like that in the beginning... and it's one of those early projects that are sort of everything, because you're not good at narrowing it down yet. It's like a dystopian supernatural medieval fantasy horror philosophical cult story I wrote just to barf out everything I was thinking in my early years of studying theology. It's certainly a cult story, but is the cult the big bad or the world around it? It's certainly a queer story, but is it a love story or a hate story? It's certainly trying to say something, but what? No one knows, not even me. It's a big mess.

I'm also starting to feel like I'm dealing with every element and theme I have in this story, in some other story too, and coincidentally someone from my writing group actually just got a book published this year that has a strikingly similar setting and themes, (we both wrote them without knowing about each other) and even though it shouldn't, it does kind of add to my confusion to what to do with this story. I do still want to write it at some point, but it's a big question mark that sort of just pops up from below the surface every time I'm not actively thinking or writing about another project.

Some angsty pictures of Dina, also drawn in my early university years (Oh Lord how obvious my Arina Tanemura influences still were in the way I draw):

Yeah... at least they are accurately dramatic to the story.

Thanks for the ask. I hope there was something entertaining. <3

For anyone curious, here's the WIP list.