#so now I kind of want to do it properly
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Spent the whole afternoon repotting plants and preparing for all the herb seed planting tomorrow. Have arrived at the point where my first floor has been taken over by plant trays. Am planning to plant my usual square meter of basil, some parsley and some peppermint. Might try cilantro again now that I've learned it doesn't like warmth.
I've gotten promotional seed papers for peppers, tomatoes, carrots and rucola. Don't think the first two will work indoors because pollination, and don't think I have a container deep enough for carrots, but will try all the things anyway.
Am genuinely considering getting a worm farm.
Send help!
#technically the first floor is my study/library#it has been taken over by plants#since I mostly use my laptop in my living roam because couch living ahoy#and my mac desktop is pretty much death#books need dry air and plants need moist so this is a very unhappy co-living situation#but I have big windows on the south and nothing across the street so the light is great for plants#my square meter of basil was a happy accident the first time#but honestly i can recommend#all you can eat pesto is an amazing luxury#and basil is also great in chimi churri#mostly i just like growing things#and worms apparently#since I made an accidental worm bin more or less#so now I kind of want to do it properly#i'm a city girl i don't even have a balcony and I have no idea what I'm doing#and usually i mostly wing it#but man i am still happy this is the covid pasttime that stuck#house plants#urban gardening#i guess
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wait😭😭😭 why are wrightworth sillier in the subbed anime versus the dubbed like when larry confessed to stealing his lunch money bc in the subbed it goes
buuuuuut in the dubbed it’s like
“What! It took you this long to confess to it?!” - pheonix
“Cmon man you’re a defence lawyer so at least give me the benefit of the doubt” - larry
“well now i wish i was a prosecutor, at least then I could throw your sorry butt in jail.” - pheonix
“Please edgey boy, you gotta be my defence lawyer” - larry
“That’s not my job” - edgeworth
“Alright guys, break it up okay” - gumshoe
**pheonix saying you’re the victim, why would you defend the culprit, and being outrageously mad about it doesn’t even make it to the dubbed??**
#yeah ignore me bc even pointing this out makes me feel like a loser#I couldn’t decide if I wanted to watch the subbed or dubbed okayyyyy so im switching between both every episode and I watched the subbed fo#that episode and was like omgggg wait I wanna see how the voice actors do this part of the episode and was so insanely disappointed omg#subbed also way gayer for wrightworth too like that’s kinda crazy#like why is dubbed trying to make edgeworth straight like that’s so annoying#im kind of contemplating watching both dubbed and subbed to actually properly see the difference 😭#laz.exe#ace attorney#pheonix wright#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright: ace attorney#wrightworth#narumitsu#ace attorney anime#larry butz#turnabout goodbyes#ace attorney anime episode 12#like omg wrightworth banter for like one line how could you take this away from me#wait I wanna check if the im saddled with unnecessary feelings is even in the dubbed or not now#laz live reaction#update: i checked and they dont say it properly but like its still kind of there....#trying to make edgeworth seem more non chalant like no wtf let him be insane thats what hes like cmon
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Elrond with dramborleg
"His hair was dark as the shadows of twilight, and upon it was set a circlet of silver; his eyes were grey as a clear evening, and in them was a light like the light of stars."
This drawing was for @armenelols and @polutrope post about elrond using a family heirloom "dramborleg".
Oh boy I had so much fun.
My main thought while painting this was " what would be different about elrond?"
And the answer is alot but a the same time nothing.
Elrond is in a way a sad character he kind of lost everything and the only constance in his life is the heralded past of his ancestors/family and friends.
He almost can't remember his parents but he can read about them even maglor is ,despite being a kindslayer, described as strong imposing and a mighty warrior.
His own brother,who chooses mortality,is a revered king!
This elrond that I depicted here is not the lord of Riverdale. Not married yet.
This is a elrond who will stand between evil and his folk.
Just like his ancestors did.
He is holding a legacy of strong unrelenting men who did change the tides of war who done the impossible no one else did before them!.
This is also elrond who found out that his brothers legacy Numenor is at the bottom of the sea - because of sauron.
This is a elrond who becomes a lord for many different kind of elves because he is a different kind of elve.
#silmarillion#lotr#tolkien#traditional art#elrond#dramborleg#i found out that elrond doesn't have a heraldy and I've run with it#that is very odd because he has so many heroes in his family who have their own symbols?#blue red and green are all colors that a already associated with existing fractions#purple is also the color of royalties#and associated with night twilight and witchy things#it is also a color mixed with red and blue so do what you want with that information#i also think that black hair is the best hair for elrond and i headcanon that he can do luthiens hair trick with hiding in the shadows too.#creeping the shit out of maglor#elrond will become a kind elven lord eventually but for now he is more of a really angry warrior with a battle axe#well deserved might i add#on a personal note#i couldn't draw properly for what felt like weeks#i had 3 different inflammated joints one in my thumb then my elbow and my shoulder#it was ridiculous#im a chef so guess how fun work was#so drawing was impossible#and im still not completely healed#btw please tell me my photo making skills are getting better!
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Pretty clothes for you! ✨ (Patreon)
#My art#Solanaceae#Satine#Ahh!!! Even with this one being done I'm still so nervous about it somehow!! Haha ♪#It's been so so soooo long since I've participated in an Event that I've forgotten everything I've ever learned or done in one haha#But yes! This is an event piece! DCS put out an art call and I wanted to join and I'm very glad I did! :D#I would consider myself a very casual fan of Solanaceae like it's been way too long since I've reread in earnest but I like to stop by#Lovely art and characters and interesting movement and feelings and problems everyone runs into it's quite cool :D#Satine is probably my favourite of the bunch even if it has been too long since I've properly caught up with everyone!!#I remember always feelings very positive and like - mixed-love? They're complex in a way that I really like#Ahh all the more reason to catch up again! So I can properly express how I feel about Satine /now/ not just partially remembered haha#I'm also just generally a fan of DCS' art style and passion and ah <3#I don't think I've mentioned it anywhere but DCS was one of my Very Big - maybe even Main inspirations to make VargasLovingHours#And then I also get to draw their pretty lad in Satine! Yes!!#I have a lot to feel thankful for inspiration-wise haha ♥#This was a fun outfit to design :D I really wanted Satine to feel pretty 'cause they are!#A kind of cool pink and scalloping I will always choose scalloping if there is an option for scalloping to be chosen#And I got to bring back a bit of the rainbow-opal look I used for Winter King a bit back as well! :D#And mirrors and sparklies and just - yes! Many good and fun things!!#I do think it's a bit funny since those were supposed to be thought bubbles but then I just - forgot to make the little bubble tails lol#Remembered them on the flowers! But not the thought bubbles! Haha oh well ♪#Does not diminish the cutes or the pretties ♫
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reminder as easter approaches to not give rabbits or ducks as gifts
both are animals that require special care (no, not all animals are just different shapes of cats or dogs) and can live up to 10 years if well cared for
they're not toys, they're living creatures that require love, care, special diets, time, and modifications to your home to keep them safe
they are also not creatures that can just be released into the countryside and be expected to survive. They're domestic animals and will not survive. Please don't impulse buy any animal as a gift, but at least have the basic humanity to rehome them or surrender them to a shelter/rescue and not leave them on the side of the road or in a box in a dumpster
Kind of like Christmas time, there's an influx of impulse/gift adoptions around Easter time that are then immediately surrendered or abandoned within a month. Consider finding a local rescue in your area and donating money, supplies, or your time via volunteering to help! Many also run foster programs, or need help with driving the animals in their care to vet appointments and so on.
k PSA over thanks ✌🐇🦆
#txt it#also tbh as someone that was cruelly gifted a rabbit after Oreo died#i did not bond properly with Mallow because I was both so entrenched in grieving Oreo (it was only 1 month after he died)#but i was also driving between states at the time and could only visit her every 2 months#and it both absolutely fucked up her socialization#and tbh!!!! i do not have a strong emotional bond with her!!!!!#it's a super fucked situation that I'm now trapped in for the next 7 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!#instead of it being MY choice to get a new pet#what KIND of pet I might want next#or when or from where#that decision was taken from me#i would've loved to have adopted a dog or another rabbit from a local shelter#i see them all the time - litters that are found under cars or in dumpsters bc people just. throw them out.#please do not do that and please do not force that kind of thing on someone else or an animal#if you love animals so much then consider volunteering instead!! :)))#k i'm done for real sorry
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“one day im going to have to make like a three hour long video essay that's just called In Defense of Helluva Boss” Please do. I see more anti videos than I do with defense ones. Like the ones that say season 2 is terrible even though it’s barely completed and the ones that say Stolitz is a bad despite them barely having a relationship.
no literally i am sick of seeing more anti content than actual appreciation videos but the anti talking point i see most that drives me up the fucking walls is that it's "bAd RePrEsEnTaTiOn," as if that is all that queer people are allowed to have; just the vague nebulous concept of "Rep(TM)." the fact that if a straight character is a bad person then it's just that This Character is a bad person, but if a queer character is a bad person then This Is Bad Representation Of The Community And Is Homophobic. can we not just HAVE characters?? vehicles to tell a story??? tools to craft a compelling narrative??? this is part of why Helluva/Hazbin being adult shows is such a THING because i see this get shut down a lot under the guise of "uhh well just because it's an adult show doesn't mean that it can handle whatever topic it wants however it wants" and like. yeah buddy! that's true! and that's not what this is fucking about!! when people say "it's an adult show" what they mean is that it's made to be engaged with under the assumption that you would know better than to take information to shape your worldview and perception of other real life people from a fucking cartoon! the show doesn't NEED to tell you that Um Hey Guys Just So You Know This Isn't Actually Meant To Reflect How All Real Life Gay Relationships Are because you are an adult who should already be able to discern this.
"bad rep" doesn't mean "characters that are nuanced, morally gray, or just bad people." "bad rep" would be if helluva boss was a show that said "the REASON these characters are in toxic relationships / are bad people is BECAUSE they are queer, or at least directly correlated to that fact." which is. you know. very fucking different than "these characters are in toxic relationships / are bad people because they 1) live in a classist society that actively encourages them to be their worst selves and 2) are extremely traumatized."
#btw when i say toxic i DO mean stolitz but not in like. a 'this is romanticizing abuse !!!!1!!!!1!1!!' kind of way#which is. the second stupidest criticism of this show#like babe did you really watch blitz break down sobbing on his couch and see stolas drowning in his depression cereal and absinthe#and some how come to the conclusion that the lesson you are meant to take away from this is that This Is A Good Thing To Aspire To ??????#their dynamic IS toxic rn!! neither of them are communicating properly and neither of them are getting what they TRULY want#and the whole point of watching this situation (this shituation; if you will) play out#is to be entertained first of all BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY#because you are supposed to go Man This Relationship Status Sucks For Them Right Now I Sure Hope They Can Make It Better#you are supposed to recognize that it is Bad for them right now. because you are a fucking adult who should have a CRUMB of media literacy#god. sorry this is so long#video essay is gonna be four hours at this rate istfg#mine#ask#helluva boss#stolitz#analysis#long post#fandom
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I thought that these inner sections of a pomelo peel thing kind of looked like flower petals with their coloring, so I left them out to dry for a few days, and then glued some of them together to make little "flowers" to hang in my window.
#crafts#I like the see-through ness of them and the color gradient. And pomelos are one of the foods to me that are very fun to disassemble#(like how I enjoy peeling carrots. or cutting cabbage. etc.) I don't actually eat citrus that much but some of the people I know#and live with do. so I'll always volunteer to cut stuff up or peel fruits if I'm over at someone's house or etc#I am.. the Food Prepper .. lol.. I could never be a chef due to the stress and the Hot of a kitchen and me being so heat sensitive#but in a broader sense I love doing little menial tasks like that. especially if there's some element of like 'try and get the sections all#cut as evenly and neatly as possible'.. sitting there like ..ouuu.. a challenge.. i will cut this onion into the thinnest slices known to#man.. this is now my quest and my destiny... etc. gjhbhj#ANYWAY... though I originally wanted to kind of sew them together with string so there wasn't glue visible or anything#I ended up having to glue them for them to hold their positions properly#So it looks weird because they're so trasnparent that you can kind of see the glue lines at some angles... but alas#still nice when the light shines through them
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having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!
#persona 3 spoilers#minato arisato#hc and au nonsense#lizzy speaks#happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳#i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at-#him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know?#and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^#something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls#you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations#and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4#and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are...#that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!)#the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES#objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written#but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently#specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship#it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc#it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but#eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses!#regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself-#into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here.#the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go#“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons#anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍#have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙
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vent//
#cw injury#delete later#typing this up before i head to the hospital lol#i got pretty injured yesterday in a way that affects my mobility quite a bit#i'm in a lot of pain and the timing of it is just :(((( i had planned to travel next week and#took time off for the first time i started working and now i don't know if i'll be able to 😭 i can barely cross the room w crutches#i think i don't really know how to seek comfort? when i got injured in the first place these people (strangers) like kept me company for#a bit but they mostly talked among themselves and it was really kind of them 😭 but i felt so distant. and even in the moment i felt like i#was failing them for not being able to engage in the conversation properly#i don't think i really know how to ask for help or how to ask for comfort#i don't know how to bring it up with my friends without like joking about it because 😭 they are my friends and they have their own lives#idk. i feel like i'm so detached from everything right now#i want someone to give me a hug and tell me that i've been doing well 😭 and i#want someone to do mundane things with me to take my mind off the pain#but how do you ask for that :')#i don't know so i am airing it anonymously on my kink blog
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re:kinder doodle dump part three !!! drawings with wildly different moods www they are more polished ans complete than my other doodles because. why not🥺!!!
#re:kinder#rekinder#fanart#ryou re:kinder#mami re:kinder#takumiel re:kinder#yuuichi mizuoka#i will now provide commentary ...#the first one i did was the takumiel one lets start with him#that one was done in ms paint MERELY for the sake of me making a speedpaint in the style of 2010's speedpaints#turned out great . put some nightcore on it... not placing it here because tumblr does not take it kindly to me putting speedpaints here#(im still petty about that)#the chie one as you can see. is not a line from re:kinder. it is a line from “If...” another game by parun#where the girl who says it has the same sprite as chie. so i drew chie based on the line. chie in the multiverse...#mami was because i just dont draw her enough for being one of the characters with a drawn portrait and why not#ryou candy because i can ive been meaning to draw him more properly for a while outside of silly little projects i just never got to it#so there he is with the layout of clip studio paint because the drawing looked bland. and i didnt know what to use as a background#i do not use clip studio on light mode. i just thought itd look better with the background. all for composition sake...!!!#now about the yuu drawing i did that this morning its funny actually... if you see it that way i prefer seeing things as comedic if possible#today's morning dread would simply not leave so i decided to draw rekinder because its my go to for whenever im feeling low#and i decided. i will channel my feeling into this drawing because i can i will channel it outwards so i dont have to deal with it#so at first i was very dreadful and sad drawing. but then as i was finishing it#and the drawing looked more gloomy than it had ever had I HAD GLEE ONCE MORE!! IT WORKED!! i did channel it outwards im a genius#so i totally would recommend if you dont want to deal with dread and are in a state where you can draw#you should make your drawing feel it so you dont have to. its great#its like when one manifests their period cramps onto goku from dragon ball z.... at least i do that#i do love goku. what kind of latinoamerican would i be if i didnt id be a disgrace but im not strong enough i know he can fight it
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I put on the Empire Sibling Mighty Vibes for the first time in a while in honor of the first day of class and can we please have more Mighty Vibes. I'm begging. I love them so much.
#also I know we all know I'm a fucking nerd but oh my god I am so glad I'm in classes again.#I know there's that post about 'you don't actually want to write essays' but I really do. I really really do.#I don't think I properly processed how much my brain specifically LOVES the structure of school and semesters/quarters until now#like I SUSPECTED but knowing and Knowing are different things#anyway love doing readings that are just like “okay but do you *actually* know the definition of this basic word”#and the answer is no. and it is never straightforward. and I love it so much. this is the kind of bullshit I live for.#everything is so deep and it is the best.
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feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.
#part of me wonders if going to the centre is helping or hurting more#but i think it's definitely helping more. however it is definitely also hurting/making some things worse#i just wish I could be operating at the same level as most of society#and i feel so egotistical when I talk abt this#but like. why am i always so fucking aware of every single thing going on#and everyone else is just painfully oblivious#I AM USING HYPERBOLE. ITS NOT EVERYONE. i know im not the only person ever lmao#when i got my autism diagnosis i thought oh good okay so THIS is why im such a freak#and now I've met so many other autistic ppl irl and um. no. no thats definitely not it still.#yes its probably part of it but im also just. so fucking traumatized i guess idk. i hate this so much#i just want to be the same and fit in and not be analyzing everything and be able to actually speak my mind#and not be so kind and polite and respectful all the time and be able to say shitty stupid things without thinking anything of it#im so tired of being the only one who seems to care so much about everyone else's comfort and feelings#but also at the same time i would hate if i acted like everyone else bc i know how shitty it makes people feel#and people are always so happy to see me because I am useful and make them feel good and comfortable and heard#and that matters. that means a lot to people i think. but also I am not a person. i am a tool.#and I'd really like to be a person#i somehow feel like im operating at a higher level/awareness than almost everyone irl and also way below everyone at the same time#like im so hyperaware of everyone else more than most ppl but im also so socially inept sometimes. and just... idk how to be a person.#i dont know i just want to not be like this. its so lonely and tiring and i want to matter to people#i want them to like me for more than just what I'm able to do for them. I want to be liked for Me i guess. but Me isnt likeable maybe#Me is uncomfortable for people. Me is a trembling cornered prey animal with a longing to tell stories but is too afraid to do anything#and so Me just exists in a hollow shell made out of people-pleasing and fawning and mirroring everyone around them#and then i get lonelier and more isolated and nothing really changes. but every time i try to crack open the shell a little it goes badly#like i genuinely dont think its my paranoia. i think it is not Safe for Me to exist properly.#i am too sensitive probably! but it does very much feel like a raw wound that peope jab aggressively at when i open up a little!#boy howdy i sound like such a wuss. i mean i probably am one fjfkdl#i just feel like I keep trying to fix things and improve and try new things and nothing ever really works well#my counsellors have always commented on how impressed they are at my willingness to try things#and its like ?? yeah ! ofc i am going to try things! maybe that will be smth that finally helps!
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A Taste of Dark Matter
#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk 2077 fanart#cp2077 fanart#cp2077#kerry eurodyne#kerry eurodyne x v#male v cyberpunk#v cyberpunk#cyberpunk fanart#otp: to bad decisions#art by me#vincent ezaki#I've been sitting on this for two or three weeks now too scared to post it for some reason idk#probably bc the wip I shared of kerry's tattoo got so many notes and kind words#which I greatly appreciate I really do <3#cause this was the first time I properly drew him#and I didn't want to get bummed out on the full pic not being as appreciated for some reason xD#I know it's dumb#I really enjoyed making this and that's what should matter#cause I love these two idiots so much#aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh#so I'll shush now and go back to drawing them more over and over and never stop
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Getting closer, getting really close now I swear (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#True Villainy AU#Just ignore how many times I've said that up to this point lol - I'm serious this time!#I always feel so bad designing TVAU outfits because Charm is always so miserable as a model haha#Could this be a contributing factor as to why it's taken so long?? No I enjoy drawing her like that lol#Made some design notes about the important elements of what I want for her True Villain look - more than just ''Her but Kaiein influence''#I'd still really like a nod to dragon scales of some kind but honestly her classic design is more that#Always going on about her spider theming how to make it dragony! It's the one thing I'm still hung up on lol#As for the rest I think it's Really getting close :) I got to actually turn her little ''shawl'' - I always knew it was Kaiein-related -#Into something that properly mimics his shape! It's all controlled by her tho it's not a part of his body - just magic-infused matter#Made to look like him so there's still that creep factor but it's more her body than his - she can control its shape :D#And I got to keep the jewels! Yesss - made it a motif! Now it's also on her hips and knees to break up her visual space yes very good#It's drips :) Y'know - like ink :) Finally figured that one out lol good job setting up my own symbolism me#And then some elegant drapey bits to match her ''shawl'' and continue to break up her space!! Yes! Good!!#I still haven't decided on a colour palette I think black and white is too obvious and too Kaiein but hmmm - she has a lot of colours#Lots of options to pick from but which is the Correct one - her hair would stay pink so maybe some of her pinks or purples#I'll play with some digital swatches later :)#I'm also so glad I could implement the hood design from one of the scrapped outfits ah <3 I love her in a hood she's so cute#I'm rather pleased with the way the spider web design breaks up her form as well - it's more subdued than the full bottom/shoes stripes but#It's also not very clear here lol the long ones that all the way down to her feet are the third from the center ignore that second one#The second lines out from the center host her wings! Very important!#Kinda reminds me of my holosona in a way actually :0 They /are/ both Evil-aligned hmmmm#All the more reason to colour palette! Differentiate the colours in my head#Really do feel like I'm approaching it now fdjsklafd getting close now!!
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There really is something special about stories where how ultra talented people decide that rather than shine above the rest, they would rather be a spotlight for those they love
#this is specifically about iori and banri#oh I DID have a fly away shooting star post here#but yeah....something about how iori and riku gave each other what they needed most...#...but they both clash as well because their communication styles are so different#its kind of a contrast to mezzo who clash fundamentally and dont really do communication properly#and pythagoras trio which is...'no secrets and healthy communication' 'lots of secrets and ok communication' and...#...'secrets everywhere what is communication?'#but yeah....iori knowing he is good at things but that not really sparking anything in him....#....until it became useful to help out his older brother and then riku#its something ok?#idolish7#fandom spamdom#note's notes#and i want to be clear that this CAN apply to female characters but that its usually not done very well#(im sorry my support/healer women....you deserve a storyline like iori's too)#(by the way this doesnt apply to fma's women who are 'support class' dnd players)#ok ill stop rambling now
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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh
#and i might do it again bc its just#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc#which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow#it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag#people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just#so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what#like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao#and it never ever used to#but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly#or whatever the make believe rules are idk#this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus#bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community#and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit#bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were#i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year#but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad#once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care#ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control#i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile#and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be#a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion#so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao#why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just#ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand#so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time#but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd
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