#that decision was taken from me
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reminder as easter approaches to not give rabbits or ducks as gifts
both are animals that require special care (no, not all animals are just different shapes of cats or dogs) and can live up to 10 years if well cared for
they're not toys, they're living creatures that require love, care, special diets, time, and modifications to your home to keep them safe
they are also not creatures that can just be released into the countryside and be expected to survive. They're domestic animals and will not survive. Please don't impulse buy any animal as a gift, but at least have the basic humanity to rehome them or surrender them to a shelter/rescue and not leave them on the side of the road or in a box in a dumpster
Kind of like Christmas time, there's an influx of impulse/gift adoptions around Easter time that are then immediately surrendered or abandoned within a month. Consider finding a local rescue in your area and donating money, supplies, or your time via volunteering to help! Many also run foster programs, or need help with driving the animals in their care to vet appointments and so on.
k PSA over thanks ✌🐇🦆
#txt it#also tbh as someone that was cruelly gifted a rabbit after Oreo died#i did not bond properly with Mallow because I was both so entrenched in grieving Oreo (it was only 1 month after he died)#but i was also driving between states at the time and could only visit her every 2 months#and it both absolutely fucked up her socialization#and tbh!!!! i do not have a strong emotional bond with her!!!!!#it's a super fucked situation that I'm now trapped in for the next 7 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!#instead of it being MY choice to get a new pet#what KIND of pet I might want next#or when or from where#that decision was taken from me#i would've loved to have adopted a dog or another rabbit from a local shelter#i see them all the time - litters that are found under cars or in dumpsters bc people just. throw them out.#please do not do that and please do not force that kind of thing on someone else or an animal#if you love animals so much then consider volunteering instead!! :)))#k i'm done for real sorry
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So I spoke somewhat about my thoughts on Emanator Sampo here, but I never really thought of it from a design point of view or what kind of powers he would have until just recently. But I actually kind of love leaning into it from a "stage hand" perspective?
Because like. Aha's body in THEIR official art is completely black, giving attention to all the fun brightly colored things around THEM. And that's so fitting for Sampo! He usually prefers to be a side character. He likes to act from the shadows. His is a much more subtle hand.
So I wonder if as an Emanator, a lot of his clothes are actually very dark? Not necessarily plain, still extravagant and needlessly detailed in things like cut and quality with lots of different fabrics and textures and ornamentation, but dark. Or maybe even his skin itself becomes blackened further down his body; his hands in particular are dark, as a sort of sleight of hand reference.
The motif of a lot of straps wrapped around him like in his canon design is still present, but they're all loose and flowing off of him like paper streamers now instead of restraining him or holding him together. He is no longer contained! Or maybe they're still a bit more rigid/heavy, but just draped more like red stage curtains!
And this is like. Fully self-indulgent, but I love inhuman designs, and there's nothing in canon to say I can't do this, so screw it! Go for broke!! Maybe it's not visible to normal people, but Sampo having a second set of arms would be really cool, as further sleight of hand reference. One set is almost normal looking, but his hands are a bright, attention-drawing white, and the other is dark, set almost in the shadows of the first arms, to act less noticeably.
He also has something of a broken heart design to him in canon (the front of his black shirt with its jagged shape down the middle; his coat looks like a full heart shape in the back), and I actually like him keeping that element as an Emanator, because I think it suits him. Sampo says his taste in aesthetics and views on Elation involve human dignity,
and the story he helps create in Belobog involves the long and winding road of resistance and survival and eventual triumph in the face of some very adverse, oppressing odds. (I'm pretty sure I heard he once called Wildfire "artless" though, plus the man acts like he thinks Shame is some kind of dessert, so like ndkdjzjskkd) But the point being!!
I think Sampo is someone who can appreciate heartbreak and angst and tragedy in a story, because it makes the victory at the end all the sweeter. And this would be another thing he shares with Aha, because I think THEY did bless the Mourning Actors partly just to be a little shit, but also because Aha does recognize tragedy as part of THEIR Path, too, and you can see it in some of the game. So a broken heart motif can still suit him, and I like him having elements of both comedy and tragedy. Like his clothing having a happy sun/sad moon (like the moon in Aha's art) or him having both of the traditional comedy/tragedy masks in his design.
And as Emanator, Sampo can maybe play with the stage settings environment, too. Like lights sometimes behave strangely around him, appearing blindingly bright to someone or dramatically dark. Sampo wills it and suddenly there seems to be a metaphorical spotlight right where he wants everyone to look. And when he doesn't want to be noticed, his face seems to be cast in shadow, he seemingly just fades into the background, no one notices or recognizes him and he sneaks away easily. He can create smoke or fog literally out of thin air without his bombs now, too, the air will just suddenly thicken until his stage is obscured, and Sampo can set the scene as he pleases or disappear without a trace.
And in line with being a stage hand, Sampo can direct attention like no other. He was already extremely good at this as a normal mortal, and becoming an Emanator only took it up to 11, past human limits. Sampo points, and all present feel compelled to follow his fingertip. He looks away, and they all follow his gaze. He can even affect the mood of an audience; he can influence everyone to be calm and placid or he can whip them into a feverish frenzy. Sometimes a crowd will start to become unsettled, agitation stirring until it boils over, until it incites a full on violent mob.
And in the middle of all that chaos will stand one perfectly calm figure, face cast in shadow, until they quietly slip away out of sight.
#sampo koski#hsr sampo#emanator sampo#hsr sampo koski#honkai star rail#hsr#they were talking about Emanator Sampo designs in the Sampard Nation server one night and somehow THAT was what got my mind going fjkdaljfk#there was also talk of him making monsters explode in confetti or making their heads pop off like a jack-in-the-box (my contribution hehe)#which is hilarious but just wasn't super relevant here jfklasdj#(I miss bouncing around ideas like that...if anyone knows another sampard server or even just a sampo-dedicated one hit me up!)#(i would love to join and would probably even have friends to bring!!)#but anyway yes I love Emanator Sampo being stage hand themed haha it's very fun with him#I have a lot of screenshots so I wanna try to use them for things like this more!#I think its in SU where it says Aha isn't as powerful an aeon as some of the others like Qlipoth or Lan or Nanook#so I like Sampo's powers being less direct and not just pure destructive power like a lot of the Destruction Emanators#it lets you get real creative with it <3#maybe next I'll bring over my thoughts on his mask design? Ooh but I wanna talk about Geppie too...#Geppie protecting his soldiers from Cocolia or the actions he could have taken or his very sweet relationship with Bronya-#-or him being inspired by Serval or his HILARIOUS relationship with Pela...#Decisions decisions...
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then. now. forever.
#wrestling#wwe#smackdown#solo sikoa#the bloodline#wwe nxt#nxt#wrestlingedit#wweedit#nxtedit#me the only person who yelled excitedly at this line:#these arent all the times he said it in nxt either#COME BACK TO ME STREET CHAMP MENACE#I MEAN YOURE UNDENIABLY STILL A MENACE BUT LMAO#whoever made the creative decision to pull away from close up right as he said the i got next line youre my fking enemy#no one cared except me but so what HE SAID THE THING#his lil mohawk mullet whatever has taken so many shapes#my text always looks pixelated and gross but i give up#but see when i said it was like this version of him never left when he usurped roman lmao
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the dizzying cognitive dissonance created when there's a sudden peggy-praising jumpscare in an otherwise completely rational fic?? 😵
#kicks me right out of the fic??#dat's me#peggy-free fics#what do you *mean* he's visiting her grave in BROOKLYN??#to imagine her opinion about bucky's medical decisions??#when the SINGLE MOTHER who raised him who ACTUALLY lived and died and WAS buried here??#bitch SHE'S not even FROM here??!#she paid bucky's torturers paychecks for decades?!#WHAT DO YOU MEAN???#feels like I've suddenly taken crazy pills
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This is probably going to be a very long post but the more I think about the rise (and subsequent fall) of the New Mandalorians, the more that I get wrapped up in not only the colonialism committed by Satine and the movement, how it began in such a horrifyingly understated way, but also how it paved the way for Mandalore to be destroyed thanks to the almost-complete erasure of their culture.
First of all, Canon verse deciding to remove the True Mandalorians (and placing the "Old" Mandalorians in a similar, though less prominent position) feels particularly underhanded and paints everything in a black and white manner. Satine: a sympathetic character who is the only one standing against Death Watch, the last shred of peace left for Mandalorians to cling to. Which. Last standing? Yes, definitely. But not the only one.
A war where Death Watch and the New Mandalorians were the major players, only to have Death Watch defeated – even with the assistance of the Jedi keeping Satine alive – makes little sense from a technical standpoint. Is it impossible? Probably not. All sorts of things can happen in history, pure dumb luck makes every difference, but it's unlikely. A party which seeks peace is not going to survive against another ultra violent, volatile party that's pissed off at you because you want to erase the culture that they so deeply value.
Which, yeah I don't buy it. Even with the Republic stepping in later on, it's fishy. But for the sake of my sanity, I'm mostly focusing on Legends, because the more you try to create a coherent timeline (seriously, how is Clone Batch Math easier than this?) for the Mandalorian Civil Wars, the harder it is not to give up entirely.
Anyways. Satine did not survive years of conflict due to mere smarts and perseverance, and did not end the war by being charismatic and having good people skills. She was the LEAST THREATENING PARTY in a three-party war, hunkering down with her Jedi protectors and playing politician while the actual warriors in the conflict weakened one another and – for the True Mandalorians – were wiped out.
True Mandalorians. Death Watch. New Mandalorians.
So, okay. The approximate dates of the beginning and end of the Mandalorian Civil Wars don't necessarily make sense with Satine’s age. She'd have been slightly younger, and Canon seems to have a tendency to just wave their hand in the general direction of a time period and deflect onto another topic.
Which, you know what? Fine. I can work with that without having to think too hard about the dates. It kills me not to delve into it further, but. No. It's not like Disney's gonna pay me to fix their broken timeline.
(But if I had to, I'd shift Jaster's death to 47BBY instead of 52BBY, and push the Battle of Galidraan a year back to 43BBY, and—)
Here's what's important to remember, though:
- There are two Mandalorian Civil Wars. The first being True Mandalorians vs Death Watch. The second being the much shorter, and quickly solved Death Watch vs the New Mandalorians.
- The massacre of the True Mandalorians happened shortly before the beginning of the second civil war.
- The True Mandalorians had already been dealing with Death Watch for years, and they were winning. Death Watch wasn't just on the run, they were weak, they had to resort to TRICKING THE JEDI into killing the True Mandalorians for them.
Who wasn't weak? The New Mandalorians, the people that actively choose to turn their back on a culture that had survived for centuries. And yes, Death Watch remained even after the True Mandalorians fell. Tor Vizsla targeted Satine and the New Mandalorians viciously after that, there was even more destruction, but it wasn't with the severity with which he'd prosecuted the True Mandalorians.
Here's what happened next: Jango Fett escaped his enslavement. He hunted down Tor Vizsla, and he killed him. Whatever strength Death Watch had regained in those few years didn't matter, because the second their leader was gone they were certainly left unorganized and at a disadvantage.
Giving the New Mandalorians the opening they needed to cement in people's minds to their beliefs and convince the House and Clan leaders that abandoning their old ways was the solution. After all, how much more of Mandalore was left to destroy? How many more had to be lost?
With the public's approval and the Republic’s help, Satine Kryze and the New Mandalorians scavenged the corpse of Mandalore, and they took what they deemed fit, left the rest to rot and – given time – be erased completely.
What's worse is that Satine's activism and speeches made it sound like that made sense (because, to Satine, it did make sense); abandon what Mandalore once was because that's the reason we've been destroyed, isn't it? (Not entirely untrue.) And these people, whose world had been ravaged, who's clans and families had wrecked everything with in-fighting, were tired and desperate enough that they listened.
Actually, here's what's really worse — Satine got LUCKY! The first time! It should not have ended like that. But because she got lucky, because it worked once, she tried to do the exact same thing when the entire galaxy went to war. And she ignored the suffering of people whom she should have known empathy towards, who were going through the very same torment she experienced as a child. Because her position of superiority where peace is the only answer was so ingrained in her beliefs, because she was ARROGANT.
And because peace was the only answer, because she'd disavowed any sense of warrior culture from her people, Satine had as much a hand in dooming Mandalore as everyone who went in with the worst intentions. Does it matter that it was doomed regardless, because Maul was the great evil that came to destroy them? No. Maul was just the most convenient means to an end the resurrected Death Watch could find, but if not him it would have been anyone — anything – else.
I do feel for her. She had to experience her father's death so young and step into a role he'd left behind, didn't get a proper chance to grieve because she had to be strong for everyone else who was grieving. She gave up the possibility of love for duty. Satine was a good leader, I won't argue that, and she was the last stand between Mandalore and total annihilation, but she was also deeply flawed.
#narrator: and it was in fact a very long post#the star wars brainrot won't let me rest so im forcing people to percieve my takes#i love mandalore and it's complex history so much but i do not love all of the decisions taken by some people#i am not trying to hate on satine so don't come for me but looking at it from far away its just. really clear to me#the new mandalorians winning was dumb luck + the republic wanting a new puppet#star wars#true mandalorians#death watch#eza.txt#also looking too closely at these dates made me realize that my age hc for bo katan would make her 3 during the second civil war. oops#a thirteen year age difference between siblings isn't impossible though and it would also explain why bo was so strongly death watch#if you didn't personally experience it you wouldn't be able to see why you maybe shouldn't join the evil mando group!#satine kryze critical#sorry forgot people get angy too easily on this website lmao
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wow okay!!!
#and that. people. is my best friend's way to stop me from making bad decisions.#i'm grateful but wow.#just taken aback!!!#crys' star wars hours#star wars#tcw#dinluke
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.
#I think there are partners who like me enough that I'm not at risk of being fired (although who knows lmao)#and obviously I don't want to get fired like that would be bad#but also like. glass half full. the instant relief from anxiety would be. unbelievable.#just to have the decision taken out of my hands#and maybe I'd have a whole midlife crisis#buy one way tickets and go eat pray love for a bit#rethink all my life decisions#maybe switch professions who knows. the world would be my oyster.#maybe just lay down in a forest for a bit#...anyway y'all I'm fine don't worry about me
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THE BEST OF PRIORITY: THE CITADEL (PART 2)
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Maj. Kaidan Alenko With: Councilor Donnel Udina, Councilor Tevos, Councilor Laiel Sparatus, Cmdr. Armando-Owen Bailey, and Kai Leng And a Special Guest Appearance by: The Illusive Man But sometimes the way a thing goes down does matter, Sophie. Later- when you have to live with yourself. Knowing that you acted with integrity- then it matters. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#james vega#EDI#kaidan alenko#shenko#fshenko#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#james’s panicked face as the shuttle goes down you will always be famous to me bc you are so relatable#at this point i just know the normandy crew is not letting shep EDI or james near anything mechanical anymore#(something mechanical explodes around them on literally every mission at this point- cars.. bombs.. ships.. you name it!) :)#the way i didn’t even realize EDI and kaidan were wearing matching armor on this mission until i got to the elevator and i- 🥹 (blue crew!!)#but like- the way when soph gets off the elevator and kaidan has the gun drawn and she tells them to lower their weapons??#and EDI and james don’t even hesitate? THOSE ARE MY BABIES!!! THATS MY SQUAD RIGHT THERE!! THE LEVEL OF TRUST BETWEEN THESE THREE!! 🥹🥹🥹#and they don't raise their weapons again?? not until soph raises hers?? like it's the level of trust between her and them for me 🥹#i will say i talk a lot about how me3 shenko canon doesn’t really follow my own shenko canon (and my canon coup is MUCH DIFFERENT)#but something i noticed about the coup that i really liked? when kaidan has his gun drawn on shep you can see his hands shaking a little#it’s SO SUBTLE (and it’s easier to notice when you’ve got the video slowed down) but like?? the way his hands aren’t steady??#when he has the gun drawn on someone he loves?? i cried a bit making that gif ngl 🥺#the soft little ‘you won’t’ from shep after ‘i better not regret this’ makes me 🥺 every time.#there’s a canon reason soph doesn’t take the renegade interrupt but part of it is bc i like kaidan’s convo on the docks better :)#speaking of the docks the intro to the convo is a bit nonchalant but i like kaidan’s speech about integrity/living with your decisions#and the conversation between him/shep about what happened on the landing pad (though i wish it was a tiny bit longer!!)#there’s no ‘i feel like you would have taken me out’ line in the soph™️ canon but we supplemented it with some rewriting bc loose canon™️#(she never draws a gun on the landing pad either but that’s a story for the actual canon 🙃)#and yes i gif’ed the ass shot. there’s only one valid ass shot in the series and it’s this one! and you can quote me on that! ✨
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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WAIT NO NOT A RANDOM TIKTOK EDIT BRINGING MY ATTENTION TO SUGURU AND YUUJI PARALLELS WAIT FUCK
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#itadori yuuji#ok first off their 'power' coming from having to swallow somthing awful that their bodies reject#and that getting taken to the extreme with yuuji even getting force fed sukuna's fingers when he's unconscious#them witnessing the death of their classmates being a final straw for them to make a very radical decision#for geto it was to defect for yuuji it was to conform#like we're seeing another version of the same events 10 years later#an anomolous child born into a non- sorcerer family but capable of special grade level power#like it really strikes me how many parallels they have it's very noticible when you look for it#and gege planning for yuuji to originally be a side character and megumi the one with natural talent and an inherited technique being the mc#like wow they are too similar for this to not have been intentional right????#losing my mind thinking about them#is his end gonna parallel geto's too???? is megumi gonna survive dying and become the next gojo with yuuji haunting him now?????#oh god oh no
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Bro I finally picked her up. I have my practice injection on Tuesday morning and I should have my needles and syringes coming in by the end of the week
I thought this was going to be so much more difficult. If anyone wants to start hrt or transitioning or gender-affirming care and you live in a safe state and have decent insurance it’s really not that hard. It’s not that expensive either (at least with insurance) please don’t wait and put off your happiness like me, do a little research and get started.
I haven’t even started hormones yet, but my depression and anxiety have already lowered considerably and my self-confidence has shot up.
Please please please do this for yourself if you are able to 💚💚💚
#haven’t even started yet but I feel a world of difference#trans#transgender#transexual#tranmasc#I also haven’t even come out to my family yet bc I come from a very catholic family#but I decided I’m doing this for myself and they don’t need to be involved and they don’t need to approve or disprove of my decisions#eventually they will know bc I live at home and I don’t plan on hiding the changes I’m looking forward to#but it feels so nice to just have this to myself and the friends that love me#I can worry about coming out and explaining things to my family when that comes#for now this is for me#this joy is for me and the people I love and trust to share it with#idk bro I just feel genuinely happy and excited and hopeful#also been looking more into top surgery and it doesn’t seem as impossible as it once did#even though I live at home. don’t have any type of steady income. and am disabled. it all just feels possible now#truly did not think these thing would be possible for me. or at least not for very far in the future#I don’t think I realized how deeply harmful not receiving gender affirming care was to me#truly feel so much lighter#I’m just rambling now#but I don’t quite know where else to put these thoughts#I’m just fucking happy and hopeful and it doesn’t feel like that’s gonna be taken away from me#me posting
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only way i'm accepting the apology video that's no doubt going to come from watcher in the next few days is if ryan and shane decide to throw steven out altogether
#this is a joke but it also isn't#i do believe the paywall was mainly his idea as a ceo + he was most definitely behind the decision to hire andrew and that other guy#if you're already having budget problems you don't just go around hiring new people just bc they were your buzzfeed buddies#and you want to go to fancy restaurants eating gold-covered truffle with them#that being said i'm not babyfying ryan and shane either bc even if it was his idea (big if there) they still agreed to it and >#that's just so yikes. i'm so disappointed in them#i've been watching them from the beginning. i've loved them from the buzzfeed days in 2015 and then from the very first episode of unsolved#(i even wrote fics of them they were That Big of a hyperfixation)#i've followed them from day one when they moved to watcher too#as time passed i distanced myself from their content a bit just bc 1) it became a bit too professional and lost that genuine cozy feeling :#and 2) they started pushing steven into most of the content and i always ALWAYS got such a bad vibe from him i literally couldn't watch any#> content he was in. i thought people liked him so i was convinced it was a me problem but now i see people agreeing#and i can finally live my truth. don't be shy throw him out#they'd still have to regain the trust of their fanbase after such a slap in the face but at least part of the trash would be taken out#watcher#ramblings
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Recently I was talking to another med student and shared that before my grandmother died, her heart failure had gotten so bad that her doctors couldn’t effectively diurese her and she ended up needing several thoracenteses. The other med student suggested that these procedures were too aggressive and my grandmother’s doctors should have let her die instead. And I’m confused, because these procedures were very much palliative in nature: it is painful to have a pleural effusion preventing you from breathing well. She needed surgery to address the valve issues causing her heart failure, but she was not a good candidate for surgery, so she had already foregone curative measures. Also, my grandmother did not want to die of a pleural effusion. I’m not saying her quality of life was good--it wasn’t--but she didn’t want to essentially drown to death. And I’m kind of upset at the notion that her doctors should have forced her to die that way. That’s not humanity, peace, or dignity in death. Maybe I’m misunderstanding something, but the conversation has left me unhappy.
#I honestly hope I'm missing something#but I really think refusing my grandmother a procedure she wanted that relieved her pain would be incredibly cruel#also not sure how we're bypassing the issue of her very much having capacity and consenting to the procedure#idk this philosophy that this decision about her life#both its quality and quantity#should be taken away from her#makes me queasy#medblr#med school#med student#medicine#palliative care#end of life#my content#my text posts
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maybe i fucked up lol .
#BUT IF I DID THEN AT LEAST I DID SO WITH MY WHOLE FUCKING CHEST#a lot of me would rather have taken the risk and kind of fucked things than have just sat simmering with it and Wanting to#message but not actually message#because at least this way i did act on what i wanted to do and i did so without input from anyone else and i made a decision#and i committed to it.#i would always rather fuck up because i Did do something than because i Didn't#i also genuinely logically don't think i did fuck up and to be fair i will not know until thursday probably whether i did or i didn't#because even if i Did fuck up i didn't fuck up in a way that will lead everything to crash and burn around me#worst case scenario is basicallyyyyy that i have made things awkward for awhile. and that's ok.#it's ok !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i need someone to tell me what to doooooo wtf
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pls i agree with the previous anon. like i need to see how your mind works. LIKE THE AMOUNT OF LORE YOU PUT INTO THIS STORY? no wonder you was struggling to write this chapter. no wonder you had to split it. YOURE PUTTING EVERYTHING INTO IT. i adore you.
i just love how you do megumi justice. like from what we hear from others (oh my god he was such a menace. jumping out of vehicles? biting people? willing to summon his ace just to spite everyone? trying to electrocute his uncle?) he has so much fire in him. he’s such a little shit. i love him. i’m so tired of everyone portraying him as some emotionless bland character. the dudebros don’t know him the way i do 🙁.
i’m honestly just itching to see yuuta spill the beans on his attachment to megumi like…would gojo actually be willing to kick that kid ass. IF ANYTHING gojo should consider this a win. the son he birthed from his gojoussy (i was there. i was the one cutting the cord ofc shh) has a loyal protector.
but in all honesty i have so many theories. like about mai, she might pop out to get the books & shit for her nephew? who knowsss.
the answer to how my mind works is “not well.” imagine a waiting room where the staff are only in attendance for 30 minutes per day (it’s never the same 30 minutes) and there is a hamster inexplicably lose. there are fish tanks but they are empty ones. you do not know what the business is or why you are waiting. dont stop me now by queen is playing on endless loop
#you cannot convince me that baby Megumi was not completely feral#that’s a kid who bit people I’ll die on that hill#there is something about Mahoraga that convinces me that it’s just the ultimate act of reclaiming control for Megumi#fundamentally Megumi does not have control over his own life#from a very young age he was locked into a profession that /would/ kill him one day#and again and again he displays this almost suicidal decision to summon something /guaranteed/ to kill him whenever he thinks hes going down#megumi never got to decide his life but by god he has decided upon his death#I think a part of him has always felt doomed from the beginning and got a bit of solace in knowing he’d die on his terms#he would die but he would not die having been beaten#like I think you just CANNOT underestimate the twisted relief that can be gotten from controlling the way you die after you’ve spent your#entire life under the shadow of your own death sentence#of course this means that the Zenin took even that comfort from him#megumi thought he was going to die and it was going to be in a way that robbed him of the only control he ever had#there’s a unique helplessness in that#I think the fact that he couldn’t even die on his terms hurt him more deeply than almost anything the Zenin did to him#he spent his entire life knowing he had an ace that couldn’t be taken from him and they still managed it#the Zenin made him feel weak as a child when they were abusing him#they made him feel weak when they spent that week hurting him#and they took away the only thing that ever made him feel truly strong#he wanted to hurt them back and it was a tremendous loss to not even have that#sea glass gardens
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