#so no one can say im in a bad mood
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i literally have a supervisor who refuses to train me. i asked him repeatedly why he told me hes training me and my coworker "separately" and he made a joke about books being segregated. this is new york. she was also a poc which is why bipoc is an important phrase. when i stopped trying to engage with him, i still say hello and nod along when being instructed but people must be able to sense i dont give a fuck because they try to force interaction
after letting doors slam in my face and ramming into me.
#hes best friends with the hr director and the director of operations.#im not reporting it#i even stoped taking notes because its so fucking exhausting#but i make sure to smile cheerily ask him about his day loudly#so no one can say im in a bad mood#i say hello to people who i know will say nothing back#ive stopped holding doorts for people who let them slam in my face#and funnily enough#i will keep pulling back and being nice randomly just to fuck with them#because i can see it working#all this because hr spread what happened at another university around
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random limochi doodle
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#mochi#lime#limochi#art#ocs#original#i just...them...#i miss them...#also peeps if you wanna see some good limochi food head over to twitter one of my fav artists drew them ;w;#im in a mood...#they...#ill probably start a series thats just ``limochi doodle number X`` cuz sometimes i genuinely do not have a caption for art#i like the notion that lime is just bad with words and can only communicate romantic affection through gestures#grabs her hand and is just silent the whole time cuz he either can choke out what he wants to say#or he is so head empty he cant think of anything to say
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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Gripped with ideas but….. the panelling………….
#banging my head against the wall#Im probably thinking abt it too hard but ive never given much thought abt executing my ideas till now#usually I just get out as many things as I can in messy sketches but because this one has Structure and Unspoken Thoughts that need to be#conveyed properly using mood and emotion than words I actually need to be a little deliberate abt how I go about expressing it#i found some tips for composition and going thru my comics for reference and trying to line it up with what I have in mind#but the mood im going for is more of a quiet looming dread.. like. yknow when a bunch of bad memories start rushing out while your mind#is in the present. im thinking of having paralleling panels to kind of build on symmetry or making comparisons to a past experience#i was thinking of having another set of overlapping panels showing the characters reaction to those thoughts in real time like a pencil#slipping out of their hand and falling to the floor but I don’t wanna clutter the page too much so maybe not#I don’t have much experience writing comics I just like to read em.. I’m sure it’ll be at least decent for a first attempt. hopefully#that way I can build up confidence for my other zelda comic ideas heh#without saying too much….. the idea I have in mind is about fort hateno and children’s nursery rhymes ;)#yapping
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some men are textbook villains fr
#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on#some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago#liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not#tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much#i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different#things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how#id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet#but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that#and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on#you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding#things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc#life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam#me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone#(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it#mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared#my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN#'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean#i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective#but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back#and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever#anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol#def gonna delete later#but ty for reading if u did <3
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#and i SADDLE UP MY PONYTA AND I RIDE INTO THE SIT-TAY#I MAKE A LODDA NOISE CUZ THE GURLS THEY R SO PRETAY#RIDIN' UP N DOWN BROADWAY ON MY OLD STUD LEROY AND THE GIRLS SAY:#SAVE A RAPIDASH RIDE A MEOWBOY!!!#JOHN WAYNE AINT GOT NUTHIN ON MY FRINGE GAME HELL NO!!!!#well stranger don't ya know i'd like to be yer friend... IF I HAD THE TIME TO STAAAAAAY.#BUT I'M A BRAMBLIN A BLOWIN IN THE WIND. I'VE GOT TO CATCH ANOTHER STAAAAAAAAGE.#I STRAP ON MY GUITAR JUST LIKE A FORTY FIVE. I PRAY EACH NIGHT MY AIM IS TRUUUUEEEE#and ACQUAINTANCES TURN TO FRIENDS I HOPE THOSE FRIENDS THEY REMEMBER ME#HOLD THE NIGHT FOR RANSOM AS WE KIDNAP THE MEMORIES#NOT SURE THERES A WAY TO EXPRESS WHAT U MEANT TO ME#SOMETIMES I GET TO THINKIN BOUT SETTLIN' DOWN. FADE OFF INTO A MEMORY.#BUT EVERY NIGHT THAT I STEP OUT TO FACE THE CROWD?#I KNOW THIS IS THE LIFE FOR MEEEEEEE#pokemon#meowth#ok context. to whomever it may concern. which is no one but idc i have a lot to say and no one to say it to#first off heres my like bi-annual post bc i 1. only draw f*rdekyl* and fucking detest f*re *emblem fans with a burning passion#so i hate sharing my 'art' . so heres a rare non-fk thing. bc i also hate social media as a whole it makes me sue of side all#but like 2. i have deliberately avoided scar/vio bc its a BAD GAME. and its not made well. also i know 'open world' formats#trigger my ocd. which it did exactly. but thats mostly irrelevant. but in anycase. i bit the bullet bc i was in a pkmn mood#esp after my long beloved n*te and dook*ie gave me a hankering for a pkmn game again#and my lil bro accidentally bought 2 copies years ago so i was like fck it ill give it a shot its Free#and yes the game is dogshit. however. everytime i see a meowth in the wild i lose my mind.#his jaunty little yee-haw walk kills me every time. i adore him. thus this was inspired.#alright imma head out i fucking hate this website as well as every other social media . maybe ill draw something non-fk in like a year#see ya in like a year maybe if i live that long. which i wouldnt count on bc tbh this year has been BAD in terms of my pain. im on the#EXTREME decline and can BARELY draw anymore. i want to die. i got nothin left. it just keeps getting worse so adios!#:(
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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a 5 min doodle on my feelings about friendship
#i'm not too good at words rn#but somehow the universe blessed me w friends that help when i feel my flame dying out#like 2 people reached out to send me a job app and idk?#i feel like i don't deserve the kindness that im some awful person and no one should go out of their way for me#that im not worth the effort anyway#but then on the horizon they appear dragging my limp soul back to the aactual reality that im cared for and loved#that im not on this rock alone no matter how dim my light gets#i said i wasnt in a writing mood but ah i seem to have made myself cry#sometimes saying the scary feeling out loud is scarier than feeling it#anyway#i have a truly heroic about on nicotine to inhale as i work on some actual art#thanks for uh coming to my ted talk#im feeling better but i have bad emotional regulation so i'll have to put on some cry playlists and get it all out#i love you all#thanks for always being my candles <3#no off to meme posting so that i can bury this post on the dash B)#noodle posting#noodle art
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#sorry chat im in a mood#vent#tw suicide#tw self harm#i wish people were nicer to me#or at all#or meaner cause then i could do it without feeling guilty and bad#now im just at this fuckass cant do it but really really want to but cant#id rather either not want to. or to be able to#i wish there was like a a ‘im thsi close to kms’ meter above our heads so ppl would realize they might have to be a bit nicer when they talk#to me#im kot that big on sh but maybe i should just slice my arms open like a madman and then theyll be able to tell#im okay until i talk to/hang out with people#sometimes i think im the priblem but like i dont think i am i think others are#sure im a problem but im not my problem#no liwk genuinely i just want friends that i like that are nice to me#why do other ppl not realize theyre being mean? am i the only one that learnt not to say stuff if its not nice#i get coming off as meaner than u menat but i know you know that wasn’t necessary to say at all#sometimes u can not say things ir say it differently#why is it so much easier to make good friends online i hate it#i want that irl too#i guess bcus im worse irl but still#and i hate that all my problems are all the small stuff combined and not something big#because then i dont have the reason but i do have the motivation#i wish i wasnt as opposed and unable to plan and organize stuff cause id be out of here but its like.. too much work im sorta lazy tbh#im not killing myself but never say never#im not. chill#ill let u know#i wish i was but im not#i have to draw all the fanart ive planned and i want to get christmas gifts and celebrate new years with my mom
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there are more than 130 people booked to come to the course tomorrow plus walkups and its supposed to be in the upper 90s and low 100s all day PLUS HUMIDITY and im working a double
#i might just kill myself#that sounds like hell#miserable just thinking about it#its going to be so bad#if one more person hits me with some stupid fucking optomism when i complain about my job i might just kill them#im in such a bad mood#there was a single family alone on the course for the entire last hour#how do you not feel bad making us stay#its hot and miserable and we are all being slow cooked#youre complainig about the heat and saying it must suck for us#yea if fucking does leave so i can go home#i hate my job#i want to cry and sleep forever and just stop#but i have a double tomorrow and friday and saturday and sunday and wednesday and thursday#cant wait to get home 8 hours before i need to get up for the next 9 hour shift
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#i knew the vibes were going to plummet as soon as we left the restaurant#ny dad actually isnt in a bad mood about it#he didn't like the loud music but hes not mad about it#but my mom is like 'i picked a bad place i shouldn't have picked that one i didnt even know they had music#and they just HAD to sit us at the loudest table 🙄'#well yeah. it was the only one open when we got there#and she kinda complained about her food and the waitress 😵💫#she said she was stressed the whole time bc she knew my dad was stressed#well. the difference between them is my dad was stressed about the loud music#but once we left the place with the loud music. he wasn't stressed anymore#my mom was stressed. so she will find every single thing she can to contribute to her stress. and it will remain. for hours#in fact. probably years from now. we will be like remember that nice trip in September 2024 :) and she will be like#'oh yeah the one with the awful restaurant that i picked out that everyone was miserable about'#(she was the most miserable bc she stressed herself out)#and its just.......... :/ im sorry my dad was uncomfortable with the noise. and that my mom didn't have a good time#but. i cannot remember the last time a restaurant caused LESS anxiety actually.#and on a different vacation earlier this year we went to a restaurant that Everyone else wanted to go to#and it was quite literally one of the most miserable experiences of my life#it was SO loud. the dining room was so small and cramped and it was so crowded and everyone was YELLING#i kept headphones in the whole time and sat with my head down and could barely even eat anything#it was like. an hour+ long panic attack. i wanted to cry the whole time#but when that happened. my moms dinner wasnt ruined bc she felt bad i was stressed#so . 😐 im just saying
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low-key feel like I'm losing my mind not liking arcane S1 and every single fucking person in my life saying it's the greatest show ever written
And like yeah it's interesting in some places and has unique ideas and the characters are fun but like it never delivers on any themes in a satisfying why and doesn't actually say very much at all and misses so many opportunities for character development that would help the story feel organic and real instead of rushed and like they're just Tryna hit plot points that ultimately fall flat cos there was no build up or development to make them have any weight!!!! Am I the only person who thinks this????
Like I'm not even mad people like it, my friends love shows I don't and vice versa but I feel so fucking confused with people saying it's amazing and I'm honestly not seeing it?
It's gorgeous to look at but that's the most impressive thing about it and honestly!!! A story that is just pretty pictures is not a story that is an art book and brother I am tired of pretty pictures with no substance!!!!!!
I still haven't seen S2 but honestly I feel like all the problems it had stem from S1 being what it is and I am. God I'm confused and kind of upset about not getting it???? Like I wish I could just think it's amazing and see what everyone else is seeing but I don't and I feel so stupid for it like!!! What am I missing!! Am I just a big stupid cynic who's too intellectual to enjoy things anymore??? Am I too politically engrossed and care too much about the real world to turn off my brain for a bit??? Am I a stupid little hater??? I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE AND ITS REALLY MESSING WITH ME!!!!
#catfish speaks#im so distressed#i really wish id watched rhe show when it dropped cos i feel like i woulda found critical fans and engaged with that side of it#discussinf media is one of my favourite pasttimes im sure it would gave crossed mt dash at some point#but god no it seems to have this Rosy memory in everyone's heads and im. i feel really upset not seeing it#like part of me is so angry people don't like it more like ARE YOU DUMB???#and thats not true cos mt friend's are all very very intelligent and good ag analysing media#so it can be that#so maybe. im the dumb one#i feel left out and somewhat ignored and idk how to say i didnt like it actually#part of it is. everyone loves it. and so they assume i loved it too#but no one actually *asked* what i thought at all#and im chronically bad at sayijg i disagree with someone especially my loved ones#so like. i just sit there and think am i fucking crazy????#its. really isolating actually#yeah i cojld blame this on my pmdd and that's probably part of it#but also. no actually. im not brushing my feelings under anymore. im upset ans hurt and frustrated.#anyway#if you have thoughts about s1 being mid/bad. please takk to me i beg you#if you wanna argue ill just block you don't fuckinf bother im in such a Fucking mood
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i look at some of u guys talking abt a new show u watched or a new thing u read and im like. holy shit thats a thing u can do. im in awe of u. i spend my time slowly ping-ponging between several interests whose base componants i can never experience because i get scard
#right now its danganronpa again grin. did u know ive been into it on and off for lets say 7 years at this point#and ive never once played it myself. i have it installed on this laptop ready to go and i just! never open it!#because if Im the one playing it then i have to pay attention and i get scared#but if im watching a lets player i just naturally pay attention without the pressure#ive talked before how i always feel i need to have the smart cool takes on shit#n this deep plays into that#idk boti was good for me bcos nobody fucking knew what it was so nobody could judge me for pardoning anotsu's crimes bcos he was hot#so i probs need to do that again#yknow a thing where i disconnect from anything that anyone knows about and get really really into some dipshit manga from 2008#but also like. i get a lot of my media recs from people talking abt what they like#which then means i defacto have someone who is gonna know if my takes are shit#and like even now. im watching mop cycle w dri and im having fun w it#but i feel bad bcos i see so many ppl like This Is The Best Anime Ever and i just like. dont get it#like i can actively feel the messages and shit whooshing over my head#its a fine anime! i'm having fun watching it! but i don't get all the commentary abt pacifism or whatever#idk. something something my need to be The Smart Kid The Bookworm Kid that went unchecked too long without peers to challenge me#so now im here like Uh Oh#and like this wouldnt be the end of the world (save for its impact on my mood n stuff)#but also like. i am an english student. i should know this shit. but i stragiht up do not feel smart enough to sometimes#i keep coasting by on the assumption that im a smart kid and i'll automatically be better than my peers#and im being disproven#i got an english exam back tonight and i got like 63%#and i like college! i just dont like. college.#anywho its approaching 3am and i have a 9am tomorrow morning which means bedtime
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Coworker I've never talked to before just asked me if I have a condition
#prince's talk tag#im in a really bad mood bc of thr state my area was left in over the weekend bc no one ran out anything so its packed#and i got deliveries so i need room#on top of all the trash overnight bringd back here and doesnt throw out so i gotta do it#im in my slient rage mode and one of the drivers told me hell come back later when its better like in an hour?#and i stood quiet for a moment before saying maybe#and the coworker watched me as i had the convo and then i went back to throwing stuff out and he was standing there#like he wanted to ask me something#and it was bugging me so i decide to ask if he needs something and when i do he says#'can i ask you something and its okay if you dont want to?' and then he asked me that#i said no not that i know of#and he said he asked bc 'he has a condition now and–' and then i kinda zoned out#but he said bipolar so im not sure if he was saying hes bipolar and was wondering if i had smth or if he was just wondering if i was bipola#i just answered 'im just really angry right now. thanks tho!' and that was the end of that convo#you know that post thats like 'im probably nonbinary but i got a job so i dont have time for that' thats me with conditions as he put it
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im really like a sponge sometimes huh
#river.txt#its only really been the past. year-ish? maybe less?#because before i was probably less in touch with my own emotions and definitely still had the habit of bottling shit up#and not to mention before that i was on this hardcore emotions/feelings diet lmao idk what else to call it#but i basically refused to acknowledge anything ever i was just straight up emotionless feelingless#but ever since therapy and opening up about stuff there and etc etc#i generally became more. sensitive to the inner workings of myself#And. the point of this post: to other people#so back to my sponge point#lately i really feel like a sponge because#i can be having an okay brain day and then one of my friends says they are upset or something happens or whatever#and im instantly feeling so fucking shit im all like oh ok nvm life bad actually life is so shit im so sad and/or angry#idk i cant explain it i just absord it so fast and it can instantly impact and change my own mood#like today i was in the mountains right. nice cozy autumnal time. felt chilled.#but then i was on the train back home and i started talking to a friend and we talked about all this. hmm.#shitty server stuff. just bad vibes. he is upset because of the same stuff as me too. we were both hurt by someone. etc#so we started discussing that but then it got more personal and he said how he is really not doing well and how hurt he is#and i just had a nice mountain time i was feeling ok but after this i was immediately just#so fucking down
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Yesterday at work made me so upset I’m playing hooky because I feel like if I walk back into that office I will dissolve into a puddle of tears and violence. Which is generally frowned upon in a work setting.
#laurelcore#how in the world can you say I’m so smart#and then say I ask questions that no one else does and I should already know#or that I said customers roll off my back in my interview and how you’ve NEVER seen that from me#even tho comparatively I let way less people get to me than everyone else#unless I’m in a bad mood which yall are allowed to have bad days but not me?#not me I’m not allowed#im so goddamn sad im so tired its the same thing over and over again#you could be the best!! well what if I don’t fuckin wanna be#what if I just want to have the same rules and expectations as everyone else#I don’t want different rules or to be held to a higher standard#it’s not ficming FAIR
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